ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 2nd November 2021

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

4/5 Kids...Top 6: Climate Change Storylines  Bat of the Year  Geoff Rissole: Shit Towns of NZ  Prince Charming  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hey! ZM's Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. Someone's excited because it's like Christmas today, isn't it? Yeah.

Christmas has come early for little Vaughan Smith. He's been a wee-wee good boy. Been a wee-wee good boy. Been a wee wee good boy. Been a wee wee good boy. Apparently today should be the day that my Starlink internet arrives. Oh, so now you're a fan of Elon Musk. No, I would have taken the satellite internet from anybody who was giving it. I'm far more of a fan of not.

What am I on, ADSL or VDSL? Which is the worst one? Surely you're on VDSL. The poo one. ADSL's the poo one, isn't it? I think it's ADSL. I think I'm on like the proper poo's internet.

Like 90s internet. Like early 2000s internet. Yeah. I tell you what, we've learnt to become thrifty with our bandwidth though. We've really learnt to shower ourselves

off a dribbly hose. Amazed you can play Fortnite in. Just. Yeah. So it's going to change your life. I mean, as someone that lives in the city with ultra-fast broadband,

I don't know what buffering is anymore. I'm going to send you a screenshot next time. It buffers. It buffers. It's having a little thing. The little spinny wheels. But it's just like most of my time you mention playing Fortnite or online gaming is, who's on the internet?

Kids, can you just hop off the internet for a bit? That's what it is. The whole time. Starlink's pretty amazing. You get a satellite dish and it literally points up to the sky and the cluster of satellites, the network, beams internet down to Earth. For most of the time

there are some weird spots where you might get really slow internet because they haven't got their full network of satellites up. And you can't't have there's an app that you download and that you it'll tell you where to put the satellite because it can't like have trees or anything like really messing with its oh yeah you might have to cut down some trees all of them goodbye carbon dioxide converting machines yeah good get rid of them no i think on our roof there's going to be a clear spot. Oh, wow.

I got a little notification from DHL saying it had been passed to a third-party courier, which means our local courier, I think. That's exciting. So today. Today or tomorrow. You could have fast internet. This is life-changing. Because quite often Vaughan will be like, oh, my God, look, in the group chat,

and then like 10 minutes or a day later a photo pops up in the group chat, and then like 10 minutes 10 minutes or a day later a photo pops up in the group chat. Oh, is that why? That's what happens. Or a video. That's what I've learnt now. You send the video and then you wait for it to get its little blue filled intact, meaning you've sent it and it's in the group. And then you comment

something about the video, because if you're going to rant about it, people will just think you're losing your mind. You should just pause the upload now, just for anticipation purposes. Why because if you're going to rant about it, people will just think you're losing your mind. Yeah. You should just pause the upload now just for anticipation purposes. Why? Because you're going to be so quick. You should just look at this and wait. Yeah.

It's going to change your life. I can't wait. Well, I mean, I have had Fast Internet before. Yeah. We did have Fiverr when we lived in town, but now this is going to be good. Yeah. Play.

ZM's Fleets for N. Yeah. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleets Vaughan and Megan. Four minutes past six. Let's get that bread. What? Let's get that bread, fam. What are you doing?

What bread? Trying to jazz you guys up. I'm jazzed. You jazzed? What bread? I've already had my breakfast. Bread. Oh, money.

Money, bread. Let's get that bread, fam. Go back to your word cross. Did you just dab? Go back to your word. Did you just dab? Go back to your word cross. Yeah, dab.

Yeah, dab. Yeah, dab. Let's get that bread, fam. Dab. Video this for TikTok powered. Oh, she's at the bloody printer. Let's get that bread, fam. Dad. Video this for TikTok powered. Oh, she's at the bloody printer. Let's get that bread, fam. Oh, I guess one of those days, is it?

I don't know. They're all one day now. Right, okay. What day number is it for Auckland? 77. Oh, a little more than that. Is it 77? Something like that.

I don't know. Well, at least I'll be able to go to Kmart in a week's time. I don't want to go to Kmart. I can get it delivered to my door. I mean, I don't want to sound ungrateful. But I'm just saying. You need your nails done, don't you? I need my nails done. Real first world problems.

We've had very few pleasures. I just want to get my hair done. Speak for yourself. What are you? I don't want to know. I'm talking about playing with Marzell. Okay, it's one of those days. Good. Secret Sound is coming up all thanks to Neon.

7 o'clock and 8 will give you a chance to get through and guess the secret sound to win $50,000. This is the sound. All the guesses that we've had to close, you can find ZM Secret Sound on Instagram. The top six is coming up. The big climate change. Cop.

Cop. Cop. 26. What does the cop stand for? Climate of... Planet. Planet. Good.

Good. It is climate though, right? The Spanish named it in English. Climate of planet. It stands for conference... It was Russian. Yeah, it stands for conference of the parties. Of the parties.

Of the parties. Yeah Of the Parties. Yeah, so it's actually... I like Climate of Planet better. They said that big TV shows should be working more climate change storylines into their stuff. Into their stories. Yeah, right. So people are dealing with it on TV. Because people are so dumb that the only way that you can get through to them

is with a plot line in a TV show. Huh, okay. Like the time there was an earthquake on Shortland Street and people called 111 on behalf of the clinic. The climate needs representation. Correct. All right, so the top six dealing with this. The top six ways for TV shows

to work in climate change related storylines. Fantastic. Where does he find the time? I don't know man. It's just part of it. You know where does he find the time

to rewrite? God I had no idea we were working with Greta Thunberg. Where does he find the time? When you say he are you meaning you?

Where do you find the time? Yeah where do I find the time to rewrite some of TV's biggest shows to incorporate climate change? Yeah it's an important find the time to rewrite some of TV's biggest shows to incorporate climate change? Yeah, it's an

important message. In between you cross-ed. It's just more charity that you do. I find it between now and approximately 6.26am.

Yeah. That's how I do it. Okay. That's 20 minutes. Oh, how will he do it? Stay tuned, find out. I'll say to you, I said to my husband

yesterday, your medal was in the mail. When did you say that to him? Eco-friendly sex. Well done. Oh, eco-friendly sex. And that's what got him the medal in the mail. All right.

Are you having it? I'll tell you next. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Are you having eco-friendly sex? Well, after I'm finished, I always put sand, I pour water over it and I cover it in sand so nobody else gets burnt by it. What? I put it in the recycling bin.

Oh, right. I was just thinking of things you do to be eco-friendly. I put it in the recycling bin. I rinse it. Is it a fire? I rinse it and then put it in the recycling bin. Right. Okay.

So yes, you are having eco-friendly sex. Yep. I'd probably say I'm not because I throw them out after each use. Single use. Apparently there's a lot of things we can be doing to reduce our carbon footprint in the bedroom as well. So down to even the lube that you're using. No need for that.

It could be. I don't know, man. I don't know. Forgive me. Forgive me, Father, for our. It could be. I don't know, man. I don't know. Forgive me. Forgive me, Father, for I've sinned. Yeah. Yeah, so obviously they contain fossil fuels. What?

Petroleum based. How do I find out if my lube's made of dinosaur dust? A water based one or like a, what's the other one? Canola oil. Olive. Extra virgin olive oil. Is there another one? Cremalta. Water based one. Cremalta. Animal fat. Don't do

that. And then organic and vegan condoms are a good You can get vegan condoms. What's not vegan about an ordinary condom? I don't know. Because they're made of rubber. There's an influencer here that said that before...

I don't listen to influencers anymore. I'm just relaying the information. I apologise for jumping in. Okay, so most regular... Sorry to interrupt, Megan, if I could just with this point, most regular latex condoms contain casein, which is made from milk protein and acts as

a lubricant, but also contain glycerin, which is also made from animal fat. Get a condom. Okay, I'll grab one. Is that how you make? And get a condom. Okay.

Wait a minute. Is it a vegan condom? What are you talking about? Well, most condoms contain casein, an animal byproduct from milk production. Oh, for God's sake. Yep, vegan ass. Shall I go back to this influencer who's, she's been living waste free. So she doesn't use condoms.

So every time she has a sexual partner, she asks them to get tested beforehand. Yeah. What about babies? Well, she's on a contraceptive. Oh, okay. But then they've also said contraceptive pills and stuff contain packaging. So then there's like other options that are less wasteful. This is why I don't have a car

and I just have a bicycle. It just makes you feel good about everything. All my wasteful packaging. Everything. You do small steps. Yeah, you don't have a car. That's already a way smaller carbon footprint. Don't get me wrong, I would fly to Europe tomorrow if I could.

In a plane with wasteful emissions. A guzzler. Yeah. Back in the day, they used to use lambskin condoms. I always thought they used like intestines. Yeah, like sausage casings. Yeah. Yeah.

But they didn't protect against sexually transmitted infections. So we can't go back to that. No. Also not vegan. Okay. How did that condom not protect against sexually transmitted diseases? Small holes. I said small holes.

Yeah, but then the sperm could have got through too. Yeah, but not small enough. Because that's famously very small. Yeah, I'm not too sure. Yeah, I don't know. Wow. Okay. I got a bad urinary tract infection.

Jesus. Wow. Okay, it is a bad urinary tract infection. Jesus. Wow. Okay, it is one of those days, isn't it? Have you had a coffee? Yeah, and a Barocca. Watch out. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Well, Halloween and some stats out of America after Halloween.

Four out of five kids eat their Halloween candy within a week and a third of parents are stealing it. Wow. Say how much candy on average in America because it'd be different here. They'd get like a ton of candy from trick or treating. Oh yeah, if Instagram

and the news is anything to go by. Bags of candy and they eat it within a week. What did you say yesterday, how much they spend? Three billion on candy, specifically. Americans. Three billion.

Wild. But then three parents are just raiding the candy anyway. Yeah. A third of them are stealing it. How many Americans are there? 300 million. So that's $10 for every American on candy.

You think about how much $10 candy would be in bulk purchase amounts and then take out the old people. And the young people. And no, the young. They take their kids trick-or-treating as soon as they can walk or sometimes they make them costumes. But I mean, they shouldn't be eating it. But they're not buying it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or eating it. So then, yeah, people I mean they shouldn't be eating it. But they're not buying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or eating it. So then, yeah, people are eating some $20 worth of candy. That's a lot. I would say. In a week. Yeah. Which would be a lot given that people just buy it in massive bulk.

They'd probably just get it at Costco and get a 200 litre drum full of it. Have we got a Costco yet? No, it's still coming. It's being built? It's being built. Why were all the lights on today? They're testing all the lights. I've been doing that a little bit lately. No, it's still coming. It's being built? It's being built. Why were all the lights on today? They're testing all the lights. I've been doing that a little bit lately.

God, you are nosy. How do you know they're testing the lights? Well, no, because obviously the frame's up. Yeah. I drove past it every morning. It's going to be at Westgate. By the way, have I told you about what Dave told me? Who's Dave?

Who's Dave? Dave owns the Mitre 10 at Westgate. Oh, my God. How do you know Dave? I talked to him and I introduced myself to Dave. Now, we're friends on Facebook. You want a discount. He wants a discount, doesn't he?

Well, Dave actually said to me. We're friends as the owner of Mitre 10 on Facebook. Why is that a weird thing? I mean, for you, it's not. So, have you seen how he's extended? Biggest Mitre 10 Megawatt in New Zealand. It's huge. 15,000 square metres. Oh, jeez. Huge Mitre. He's extended. he's extended? Biggest Mitre 10 Megawatt in New Zealand. It's huge. 15,000 square metres.

Oh, jeez. Huge Mitre. He's extended. He's extended because I said, where's Costco coming along? And he said, they're testing the mites. But no, but you can see that they've got all like the floor and the car park and all the framing up.

And obviously you do your electrical plan before you go too much further than that. Otherwise it's a nightmare to do it post. Is it? You know, do you? I know a bit about a bloody electrical plan, mate. Don too much further than that. Otherwise, it's a nightmare to do it post. Is it? Oh, you know, do you? I know a bit about a bloody electrical plan, mate. Don't you worry about that. It's best to have all these things work in unison from day one, you know?

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. Today's Top Six is how to weave climate change storylines into television shows. Yeah. COP26 is happening at the moment. And one of the major sponsors is Sky Television. Yeah. In the UK.

However, their CEO regularly takes private jets from the US to the UK. Yeah. And most of the world leaders took private planes or Air Force jets to the summer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But recycle. But Sky, they've kind of got a good point. They want characters in TV shows to do stuff to reflect how we should change. Yeah. Climate change. Yeah. Definitely don't need world leaders to set by example. Gosh, no. No. No one would change. Yeah. Climate change. Yeah, definitely don't need world leaders to set by example.

Gosh, no. No. No one would listen. Yeah. Don't be a shill for the government or something. I don't know. What are people saying?

So I've got the top six ways to weave climate change storylines into shows that are popular here on Aotearoa Television. Okay. Number six. Chris Warner's batch

is destroyed by a tidal surge. Oh no. Yeah. Surprised that hasn't happened. Yeah, well, it's gonna happen because he's had it too good

for too long and it'll make him reflect on his choices. He'll be like, maybe I should get a Tesla. Yeah. Everyday guy. Yeah.

Everyday car. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six ways To weave climate change storylines Into TV shows An iceberg hits and sinks a boat On that below deck show

You know that reality show I know they pretty much only sail in the tropics But icebergs Ice sheets are breaking off Because of climate change And some of them get pretty close to it And then it dings one of those flash boats and it sinks.

I hope all the hot people survive. But they've still got to get dinner ready for the rich people. Yes, who arrive in helicopters after arriving on private planes who then have an entire diesel powered ship chugging around. Number four on the list of the

top six ways to weave climate change storylines into TV shows. Season two of Clark Shifts Houses is just Clark Gayford moving houses away from the beach and the ocean and the rising sea levels. Yes. He's like, this week we're moving another rich person's house further up that hill. Number three on the list of the top six ways to weave climate change storylines into TV shows, Greta Thunberg

is edited into old episodes of Friends. Oh yeah, okay. Yeah, she's down at the coffee shop. Yeah. So when Phoebe would sing a song and they'd all like

look at someone on the microphone part, they're actually looking and when he cut to it, it's Greta being like, we've got to, I don't know, blah, blah, blah.

That's what she said lately. They're all with their blah, blah, blah. That's what she said. The politicians being like, we've got to, I don't know, blah, blah, blah. That's what she said lately. They're all with their blah, blah, blah. That's what she said. The politicians are like, blah, blah, blah. You could get in. And then they kept a laugh track. Good, yeah. It's got to be light.

Yeah. Number two on the list are the top six ways to weave climate change storylines into TV shows. Country Calendar just becomes a show where farmers tell you about how dry, wet, windy it's been and they can't remember ever it being so bad, but then also doubting climate change is a thing. Yeah. I reckon that would be pretty. That would work. And number one on the list are the top six ways to weave climate change storylines into TV shows.

The chase now involves you being chased by a Force 5 hurricane that are happening more and more regularly. If you escape, you get the cash. If you lose, your house is destroyed and your family are killed by flying debris. Good Lord. Do I still have to answer questions while running from it? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You will need some pushbacks. Yeah, for sure. You've got 17. I think you need four pushbacks. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. People that have been trying to plan a wedding have already had so many disruptions, but

if you are planning to and you haven't got your wedding dress, brides are being advised to order in advance because just like everything else, supply chains could mean late delivery of dresses. So they're being advised to order a year in advance.

You normally do have to go quite early though, don't you? But not a year. My first wedding dress I got in Melbourne and it took three months to get made. The second one I got made here by a local designer. So, I mean, there is the option of getting, you know, it made here. Yeah. There's the option of renting it.

There's the option of borrowing or buying secondhand. But then you get a dress, like, made for you and it's all fitted and then you've got a year to maintain that, like, exact same body. Yeah. It could go either way. You could lose weight or you could put it on and then you've got to get it redone. Yeah.

Oh, no thanks. But I mean, even three months, sweetheart. Yeah. Because my zip busted when I got my dress. So I mean, that risk. Let's get a bobby pin. You'll be right. That risk is always there.

But yeah, like when you order it a year, because like we got engaged 15 months in advance. A lot of people, that's around the time that you'd take to plan a wedding. Yeah. So you've got to order your dress at the start and then yeah, what if you lose weight or what if you don't lose weight that you wanted to lose

or what if you like gain a couple? And then add to that the whole fact that like lockdowns and uncertainty on the future. It's like, just have it in a few years. I don't know why people are rushing into this. And also they're saying it could take a year. Well, you can't have sex till you're married. Oh, sorry, of course.

So they're really, really dying to try that out. I've heard great things. Yeah. Because you waited and it was great, wasn't it? I'm still waiting. I said, are you? Okay, great. How did you have those two kids then?

Jesus. Oh, okay. Delivered them. No, he did it. Oh, okay. He did it for you. I watched it happen. That's so lovely.

He was called Jesus. I assume, well, I didn't even heard his name, but he was in a toga and he had a beard. Okay. He just assumed it was. Was it Romany Sandals? Yep. That sounds like him. Yeah, well, I didn't even heard his name, but he was in a toga and he had a beard. He just assumed it was. Was it Romany Sandals? Yep, that sounds like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I didn't need to ask any questions.

Sometimes you've just got to blindly believe, you know. It's what Sade told me anyway. Yeah, right, okay. Well, it's worked out fine. She's like, if you come dressed to the house, this asshole will believe anything. Say your hair on, you know, because God sent you. He'll believe it. He'll lap it up.

He'll lap it up. Ask him for some cash on the way out too. He'll give you some. Anyway, get your wedding dress early. Yeah. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The Bird of the Year competition wrapped up

and it was announced that this year's winner wasn't even a bird. This is probably the most controversial issue facing New Zealand. It's not really. I saw overseas. But the most split controversial issue of New Zealand at the moment, this vaccination thing, I mean, we're on the track for the people who don't want to be vaccinated to be under 10%. That's not even a divisive issue.

That's 10% of people being very loud and vocal about something that the rest of us are like, okay. It's sorted. But this seems to be a bit more controversial. Yeah, I've seen overseas news sites and stories saying what's happening in New Zealand. Bird of the Year's happened and a bird hasn't won. This is embarrassing, isn't it? Pika Pika Taurua, the long-tailed bat, has won the contest. A bat's not a bird, is it?

Bats are New Zealand's only native land mammal. Here is the loophole. Okay. The name of the competition in Maori is Te Manu Rungunui O Te Tau. And the manu part of that does not only mean birds, it means many flying creatures. This is forest and bird coming out now, covering their ass. Yeah, but why didn't they call it flying creatures of the year?

It's not, is it? Yeah, it's bird of the year. They've looked back retrospectively and thought, how can we? We've got some fly species. We've got some native flies. Could we be seeing flies into the competition next year? What about sand flies? What about those sand flies where you go down to the west coast

of the South Island and they smash you? Dragon flies. They're winged. They're pretty cool. But what's stomping you at entering a tabby next year? Where does this end? Where does it end? You let a bat win bird of the year.

And next thing, a man is marrying a dog. Where does it end? Where does it end? It's not hard to draw the line at birds. I mean, it's probably going to end at flying creatures. I mean, it's probably. Oh, but then we've gone through all the flying creatures. What about a pegasus?

Is a pegasus allowed to enter? It flies. It's not real, but it flies. Anything can fly on a plane. Is that a loophole? The kiwi doesn't fly. Yeah. But it's a bird.

Yeah. So does it deserve to be in the competition as much as a bat? Where does it end? Well, I mean, it's endangered, right? I love arguing about shit that doesn't really matter at the moment. It feels good. It feels good to get back to some nonsense arguing, you know? Yeah, it does.

Like not arguing about things that are going to result in the ICUs being slammed and unfairly putting health professionals at the front line of otherwise, you know. Well, they will be if the bats get out. Well, I mean, who started this pandemic, man? Last year, no one wanted to touch the bloody things. This year, they're our favourite flying creature. Well, well, well. Look out next year when mosquitoes,

who have been spending thousands of years killing all people all around the world, including New Zealanders, with malaria into the competition, all is forgiven. Turn off the automatic machine that goes off every nine minutes. Turn off the thing that mum always plugs in the wall. She says plug in the Spira thing.

Do those work? It'll kill the mozzies. No one will be allowed to touch the mosquitoes because they entered New Zealand's flying creatures competition and won. Well, well, well, it's PC madness. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound.

Season 10. Well, it's all thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. We're at $50,000 cash. Ryan, you've got through. Good morning, Ryan. Good morning, guys. All right, so Ryan, you've done the hard bit.

You've got through. The jackpot's at $50,000 cash. And that cash is yours if you can tell us what this sound is. What do you think it is? I think it's one of those machines that automatically dispenses the air freshener stuff. It looks like one of them next to the Cluedo box in the video. Oh, okay. The same sort of thing that dispenses like fly spray.

Yeah. We did just mention this. When you're sitting minding your business and suddenly it makes noise next year and gives you a fright. Yeah. You get a face full of lavender. I've been in a toilet and that's happened and I've just heard a look up and pop hurry.

Ryan, so you've said you've looked at the TikTok video clue. Have you looked at the other ones Level 3 made me? Yes. Have you got any idea how that might relate? Maybe you need some fresh air. Yeah. Fair, actually. Good point.

And what would you do with the $50,000? It's life-changing. It would life-change me into stop losing at auctions and hopefully buy a house. Oh, okay. That would be handy. Well, do you want to lock in your guess one more time, Ryan? I absolutely do, with fingers and toes and arms and legs, and if anything else I could cross, I would.

I love that. Okay, and Ed Dispenza, we're locking it in. Well. Ryan, that is not the secret sound. Oh, Ryan. Damn. Sorry, Ryan. Thanks, guys.

Oh, look what you did. He sounds disappointed. I know. I'm letting everyone down. Sorry, Ryan. All right, well, 8 o'clock is the next chance for you to have a guess at the Secret Sound. All thanks to Neon.

Have a shot at that $50,000 cash. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. We spoke about this. So the UN World Food Programme, WFP, the director of that, David Beasley, he went on CNN and he said that $6 billion to help 42 million people that are literally going to die if we don't reach them,

that sum would equate to roughly 2% of Elon Musk's net worth. So he's put it out there to Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk to step up now on a one-time basis. Right. He's saying, yeah, $6 billion is 2% of his wealth.

Isn't that? Well, yeah, like you said the other day, he made like $26.8 billion in a day. In one day. Because his share price went up that much. Not to mention the fact that over the pandemic, all of those wealthiest men or rich list has made way more money. Significantly more money. Way more money.

So Elon Musk responded. He posted on Twitter. It is probably a good time to point out Megan has had a crush on Elon Musk. I don't know what it is. Forever. I don't know what it is. Seeing her defend this man at every turn. I like to think it's not the billions of dollars. He's just, I don't know what it is. Seeing her defend this man at every turn. I like to think it's not the billions of dollars.

He's just, I don't know. Do you find him good looking though? Yeah, I do. Do you? I have a penchant for South Africans too, which we know. What is it? I don't know. It's definitely not the billions of dollars.

So he said, if WFP, that's the World Food Programme, can describe on this Twitter thread exactly how $6 billion would solve world hunger, I will sell Tesla stock right now and do it. But it must be open source accounting so the public sees precisely

how the money is spent. What? So like put up a Google Drive spreadsheet? Yeah. He's 100% serious though. It sounds like he's being sarcastic, a Google Drive spreadsheet? Yeah. I mean, I kind of. He's 100% serious, though. It sounds like he's being sarcastic, but he's serious. Yeah.

Well, he built that battery farm in Adelaide, didn't he, out in Australia. To prove that he could. Yeah. Yeah. But see, like I said the other day, you could say that he seems like one of those people, and billionaires kind of function well.

Maybe it's just because they can't do it. Maybe they can't work it out. Right. But he's like, show me the accounting. And I see my answer would then be like, well, I mean, if your accountant's not good enough to do it, I could probably have a bit of a go at it. Because then he's like, well, what am I paying these people for?

Accountants, get to it! But I guess he wants to know that the money's not just going to go to organisations that kind of waste it or swallow it up. Yeah, all on the admin and the admin uses it all rather than going directly to the people. But, like, someone do the math. I don't doubt that if someone did do the math, he'd do it. Yeah.

Because you'll make that back again. Not hard like heaps of sacks of rice times 4,000. I don't know, 2 million. And then just keep going. Why aren't you in charge of it? That's flawlessly transparent accounting. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Where do you get the rice from? The rice people. How much does the rice cost? I don't know. How do you get it to where it needs to be? I'm not. How do you find out who needs it the most? Well, this is the thing.

The UN World Food Program, they know. They know, don't they? They've got planes and trains and. Yeah, surely they have people there that can do the accounting on this. Even if it takes them like a month. Yeah. That's how many billion? Six billion. 42 million people. Yeah, do the accounting on this. Even if it takes them like a month. Yeah. That's how many billion?

Six billion. 42 million people. Yeah. Six billion. So even if they do two months work and it's six billion that's three billion

dollars a month. Do you reckon they saw that's a pretty good hourly rate. Do you reckon they saw this tweet and they're like

uh oh. We're going to back this up now. Yeah. He needs receipts. And some dude like Fletch is in the back office

going rice. Times. Countdown receipts. And some dude like Fletch is in the back office going, rice. Times. Countdown.co.nz. Or you get those little mini parachutes too because you've got to drop them out of a plane too. Yeah, those don't come cheap. Those aren't cheap. I don't know how much those are. Yeah.

Get to it. Yeah. See, he's not a bad guy. Logistically, that is insane, right? Like here's $6 billion. Go feed people. But then where do you even start? But then I think there's more systemic issues at hand

that will just not solve the problem so much as put food in the mouth for a day, but not solve the problems that caused it in the first place. Which could be the cause of them being so poor could exactly be the cause of what's made him so rich. Capitalism, man. Capitalism, man. If Elon Musk landed his rocket in the courtyard

outside the studio there right now and came out. God, she'd spun around like it was happening. I know, I know. And said, Megan, come with me right now and live your life with me. Leave your husband. What would you do? And your baby.

Oh. See, I think she'd leave the husband. She's not leaving the baby. Nah. Okay, you can bring the baby. Oh. Oh! No, because he's not good at long-term relationships. It would just be like a short thing. Also, Megan Musk doesn't sound right.

Megan Musk. Why is that so funny? I don't know, it just is. Megan Musk. M-M. I think it's got. Megan Musk. MM. Yeah. I think it's got a good ring to it. Grimes Musk sounded okay because it's like, yeah, what's that?

Well, that's the grime. What does it smell like? That's musky. Yeah, that's stinky though, Grimes Musk. Grimes Musk. Okay, so that's confronting for your husband, isn't it? You're going to have to explain that when you get home today. Will I?

There's billions of dollars difference. But it's not about the money. It's not about the money. I guess it wasn't a hard issue. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. We're joined on the phone by curator extraordinaire of Shit Towns of New Zealand author Jeff Rissell. Hello.

Hey, how's it going? Good, mate. The great Kiwi Tiki Tour, Shit Towns of New Zealand author Jeff Rissell. Hello. Hey, how's it going? Good, mate. The Great Kiwi Tiki Tour, Shit Towns of New Zealand. The book is out now. And I just randomly flicked open to a page and I laughed automatically, so... Job done. Well done to you, sir. So

in the book you've got, what, five iconic Kiwi road trips. Yeah, basically we've gone and done a bit of a tiki tour around the country and put together a few little trips that we can take, you know, once we're allowed to actually go anywhere, and check out the worst our country has to offer. I love this. This is right at the start. Health warning,

this stream is too polluted. Do not enter or use the water. There's a pair of old undies on the top and it says, New Zealand is famous for its clean, green environment. Aw, sad though. So when did you do this? In that magical Goldilocks zone where New Zealand thought we were, you know,

dodging the COVID bullet before the Delta outbreak? Yeah, after the first lockdown last year, we were like, ha-ha, that's never going to happen again. And then obviously spread around the country, did the bus, and then come to release it now. We were by ourselves in lockdown yet again, unfortunately. I know. But something to look forward to.

This can be like people start planning that dream trip. Yeah, absolutely. There's sort of a few places in there you wouldn't want to go, so it's great. You can sit at home and enjoy the fact that you're not visiting them at the moment, and then you have a look forward to the places you do actually want to go to. Gotcha, gotcha.

The top five racist statues. Oh, my God. Make an appearance. Yeah. Captain James Cook, racism rating, five stars. Ah, it's Colonel Marmaduke Nixon. Didn't know about this. It's a statue on Otohoohu in Auckland.

Racism rating, another five stars. Oh, okay. He's pretty up there, Colonel Marmaduke. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What a great book for the coffee table and great for Christmas. I can see why you've strategically brought this book out today.

Yeah, it's our fifth book. The problem is we're all the best sellers. We release them around Christmas time. They're great presents for your uncle or your dad or your weird cousin who works in IT. Yeah. Now, what happened to the Shit Towns of New Zealand Facebook page? Because it's gone. We actually got banned by Facebook.

You got banned? Yeah. Yeah, really? Because I think Facebook had more problematic users than people taking a satirical look at New Zealand towns. Yeah, I think we probably should have just started up an anti-vaxxer page or something. We might still be going. But yeah, we've got a ban from Facebook. Is it because the people in these shit towns

were so butthurt that they would report you constantly? Do you think that's what it was? We just got flagged constantly for really dumb things like bullying and hate speech and stuff like that. I didn't realise making fun of your giant carrot was hate speech and stuff like that. I didn't realise making fun of your giant carrot was hate speech. Yeah, no.

Whereas, again, you could have like an, yeah. Misinformation and, yeah. Some actual, yeah, hate groups that are still on there. Wow, okay. What is your actual, of all the places you saw on the Great Kiwi Tiki Tour, the Shit Towns of New Zealand Tiki Tours that you did, what's something that you actually found it hard to write satirical, meany nonsense about?

Like, where you were like, oh, actually, this is hard. This is kind of nice. That's a really good question. I've got a fond spot for Candyland, mostly because as a kid, I used to go there a lot. And I sort of envisioned it being this sort of like Willy Wonka of the Waikato and it was always a bit shit, but I do have a fond memory of buying those giant

oiled lolly lollipops and just licking them twice and throwing them in the back seat of the car and my dad finding it three weeks later stuck to the upholstery. Yeah. That's one of my favourites, I guess. As a kid that also grew up in the Waikato and we drove past that all the time, we'd always be like, Candyland, we went there once and we were like favourites, I guess. As a kid that also grew up in the Waikato and we drove past that all the time,

we'd always be like, Candyman, we went there once. And we were like, oh, boiled sweets. Yeah, it's basically a giant pick and mix run by retirees. Yeah. Not someone for insight. Yeah. Fletch, Megan, have you guys been to Candyman? No, I haven't.

I think you took me once and it was, we went there, I've been there once. I don't think it was me. I haven't been since I was a kid. Yeah, it wasn't quite what I expected. Yeah, it's a factory. Yeah, with a pick and mix out the front. And they're like, don't put your finger in there. That stuff's like 200 degrees Celsius.

Yeah. Wow. Fantastic marketing, though. Yeah. Marketing genius. What, the sign at Topri? Yeah. And then it signs all the way along your neck.

Oh, Candyland, it's going to be amazing. But oh, no. Yeah, there you go. I think it does. It's got one of those brown signs now. The brown signs with the white writing that means I'm a great place for a tourist stop. I feel like anyone can just buy

a brown sign, though. Why do they pick brown as the colour to highlight great places to stop if you're a tourist? Wouldn't they? Like, brown doesn't scream good times to me. What do you want?

Like, purple? Yeah, purple or, like, yellow or, I don't know. I know yellow road signs already mean speed. Well, Shit Towns of New Zealand, a great Kiwi Tiki Tour, a great read.

It's out today. Geoff Russell, thank you so much for joining us this morning. Thank you so much for having me on. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Get Jeff Rissall back on the phone. Why? What's happened? Candyland no longer exists. It's now owned by a meat

company. You can still go and do a tour. It's not quite as... You can't. Well, that's really sad. Are those transferable machines? Did they move somewhere else? Yeah, you can make like meaty lollipops now. No, I wouldn't imagine there's too much transferable machinery between.

That's really sad. I mean, shit house, but. Yeah. Like tonight was always there. Maybe they moved to another factory. Perhaps. I don't know. Well, secret sound coming up at 8 o'clock.

Your chance to win $50,000. I have five signs you've definitely found your prince charming. You could also say princess charming. Okay. Maybe. Yeah, right. I'll tell you them and you can decide if they can relate to. Does this apply to you, this list?

Is one of them lots of money? Like Elon Musk? No, I do feel bad now because reading this, they're all like sweet emotional things. And I said I'd ditch my husband for Elon Musk and his billions of dollars. So I feel a little bit bad. And his rocket. And his rocket.

Yeah. Oh, God, you're gross. I didn't mean that rocket to be sexual. I was just like. Oh, neither did I. No, just Megan Hitch. She went. I meant the rocket.

Right, actual rocket. I meant actual rocket. Okay, so he loves everything that makes you different. So your little quirks and kooks if you'd like to collect coupons. I don't know. Good example. He likes what makes you different. He likes what makes you different and thinks it's sweet

and loves your beautifully unique. This could work both ways yeah she could like what makes you different or or try and change you to mold anything this could be completely genderless yeah okay um i'm gonna say they then they think you are a picture of beauty regardless of how you look or what you wear. So that's even on a Sunday morning when you're wearing your trackies. So Fletch isn't my Prince Charming because you saw me in the supermarket

in my trackies and I made that one. I didn't recognise her. You literally like gasped when I talked to you. Yeah, it was like when I picked up from the hospital. Hey, I was drugged. Yeah, and I was like, oh, no, thanks. My window doesn't need cleaning. I was like, no, no, no, you leave it all streaky.

Oh, my God, Megan, is that you? You're using sunlight. You ought to be careful. I was drugged. You don't get taken away to an institute wandering around in art. Okay. They try. So they might not be, like, Totally romantic in the movie type of way

But they're romantic in their own type of way So just to know that they're thinking of you Even if they bought you a crappy present Right They were still thinking of you No one would get away with that with you That's why I laughed Yeah

They're nice to your friends and family even if they don't like them. Okay. Oh. But then what if they're being nice to you because they don't like you and they don't like you?

Hmm. Yeah, you can't trust that. Or what if they're nice to your friends and family and then when you get home they

like go in on them. Yeah. That's pretty good stuff. I was just thinking that only lasts so long anyway. When you're in the honeymoon phase, you're nice to everyone and then you get sick of them and then the arguments happen at Christmas. Yeah, it's good stuff.

And last but not least, they want to take care of you. So when you're sick, it's not like they're going to be the provider or anything like that. It's when you're sick, they make you soup. Or like, if you're not feeling like going out, they'll stay home and watch a movie with you. You know, like the little things to show that they want to take care of you. And that's a sign that you've found your prince or princess.

Yeah, I don't think Elon Musk would stay at home and make you soup. I don't think he'd do any of those, to be honest. Nah, I don't think he would either. But he's got lots of money. Which overwrites all. Oh, yeah, yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Now, we want to ask the question right now,

what haircut has made you cry? You've done this. Oh, yeah. Heaps of me wore it. I went to get a Victoria Beckham A what? A Victoria Beckham Like bob

When? And it was longer at the front It would have been just Before I met you Remember I had really short hair Oh because you You were coming out of your goth phase I was never in a goth phase

Yeah you had your Amy Lee From Evanescence haircut Because I wore eyeliner Oh my god And then you had the Jennifer Anderson from Evanescence haircut. Because I wore eyeliner. Oh, my God. And then you had the Jennifer Anderson. You looked good in that. Thank you.

I mean, you were 10 years too late, but you definitely had the Rachel. She just calls anything a Jennifer Anderson. She's had a few. She's had a few. But I got the Victoria Beckham. It was long at the front and short at the back. But when I touched it, it was like short to my head short. And that's what made you cry. And I cried, yeah.

So we want to know the hairstyle that's made you cry. What happened? Maybe it was the hairdresser that screwed it up or there was a lack of communication. Yeah. But it turns out that millennial women. Millennial women. So that's 25 to 40 have already had eight haircuts, eight hairstyles.

Different hairstyles. Different hairstyles. They're much more willing to experiment with their hair than generations before. Because I've been blonde, I've had a fringe, I've had the short, I've had the long. Yeah, you think about your mum's hairstyles over the years, they've been rocking the same.

Yeah, pretty same. It was long and then she had kids and it was short. My mum had a Deirdre from Coro. Oh, yeah. She did. And she had the same Deirdre glasses as well. So she looked a lot like Deirdre. Yeah.

And my mother prematurely aged herself because like she was 22 when she had my brother. Yeah. So she was 24 when she had me and 26 when she had my sister. So like I can remember her before she turned 30. But to me, she always seemed older than that. Isn't that crazy? Because she had a perm. That's how your kids look at you.

You're old. I have wondered. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like sometimes you're sitting in the chair and, like, I'm too polite to say anything. So, like, they're doing it wrong or you're like, oh, this is going badly.

But I don't want to say anything. And then afterwards they're like, do you love it? or you're like, oh, this is going badly. But I don't want to say anything. And then afterwards they're like, do you love it? And you're like, yeah, I love it. And then you cry in your car. And then you cry, yeah. Would that be the worst bit about being a hairdresser, especially if you are in tune and you're intuitive? You can tell that they don't like it.

And you say to somebody, do you like it? And you can tell they're lying to you. Yeah, I love it. Who led the pixie cut charge in the 2000s? Natalie Portman? Maybe. Keira Knightley? Yeah.

There was another. And everyone thought they would look good with the pixie cut. They thought they'd have the fine features to carry a pixie cut. And then they got it done and they looked like a front rower. An all black front rower. Yeah. With the cauliflower ears. Yeah.

Aw. They looked like Andrew Hall packing down in the front row. So we want to know this morning, 0800 DARS at M9696, the fact that the average millennial has had eight different haircuts. What haircut made you cry and burst into tears? Whether it was just your fault that you picked the wrong hairstyle. Yeah, whether you asked for it or whether you didn't. Yeah.

So the average millennial woman has had eight different hairstyles and they can't all have been good. So we would love to know when you've had one, whether it's what you asked for or whether something happened. And yeah, what haircut made you cry? Yeah. Some messages. And when I was 10, my hairdresser, who had been our family hairdresser for years, was

pregnant and quite hormonal. Mid-haircut, she started to cry because she realised she'd given me a mullet. And then we just both started crying. We cried together. Mid-haircut, she realised, oopsies. She just gave up she's like I've taken too much off the sides

oh no I'm dark hair I've got dark hair and fair skin once I asked for a long bob and I came out looking like Willy Wonka the Johnny Depp one

I was at a brand new high school so you can imagine how that went down I can they would have been like Analia if you'll just come with me

and you'll see a world of pure imagination. So the average millennial woman has had eight different hairstyles in their life. I would love to know when you got one of those eight and it wasn't what you wanted. It made you cry. When did it make you cry? A haircut?

A hairstyle? So many messages coming in. Someone said, if we're going to stick with the Willy Wonka theme for a little bit. I don't know. Everyone thinks it's cute to get a bob with a fringe. Yeah, it's hard. Went in for some blonde foils and a bob haircut. It wasn't until a few days later after a few washes that I had copper.

And I have copper pipes that my hair turned green. Because that can happen apparently if you've got copper pipes. To top it off I got a spray tan a few weeks later which made me orangey and so yeah I had green hair and orange skin and I was officially an oompa loompa. You need to team up with Charlie

and with Willy Wonga from before. That sounds like Halloween costumes. Kat, when did the haircut make you cry? Hi. My husband went back to Australia to do some work. Yeah. And he was gone for about three months, and I decided to give him a bit of a surprise when he got home.

Anyway, I went down to the local salon and got my hair bleached. They over bleached it and burnt my hair and I had to shave it all off. Oh my God. Also, he got a real surprise when he came home to Sinead O'Connor. Yes, pretty much. Wow. Yeah. Did you wear a hat to the airport to pick him up? No. Sinead O'Connor. Yes, pretty much. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Did you wear a hat to the airport to pick him up?

No, I literally just went the full butch style, literally. And what did he say? When he first saw it, what did he say? He actually didn't mind it. But, yeah, it was – because I have really long curly hair and it literally went from that to nothing. Oh, wow. And I still got charged $450.

What? No, no, you didn't. No. Are you kidding me? No. They burned your hair off and charged you for it and saw a lot of tears in that night. I was just in so much shock.

I don't think I cried for a few days. Oh, my God, like brief, like it came later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Kat, thanks for sharing. Megan, you actually wanted to look like a celebrity. Who did you take a picture of? Well, I'm brunette, but I did want the blonde Billie Eilish.

I thought I could do this. I could do this too. I went in with this photo, and said, I want to look like her. And there was a slight eye roll. And I thought, I know you're not a miracle worker. It's okay. And so she did her thing. And I thought, oh, okay.

And I was walking home. It was really, really windy. And they just zhooshed it up and put in all their product. Woke up the next day and I thought, this is not what I wanted. This is terrible. And I tried to sing and I looked like Joe Dirt. It was really bad. It's hard because they style it all beautifully and then the next day it's, you know, been in bed.

Yeah. And then I got to work and everybody knew that I was going. I was so excited after lockdown to get this flash haircut. And they knew that I went in with the Billie Eilish and they went, oh. They were probably expecting highlight of Grand Billie Eilish. No, they knew blonde, the big blonde Billie Eilish and I just

went, they went, oh no and they were running their fingers through it going, that's not quite the style you were going for. They were touching it, they were touching it. No. Megan, thanks for sharing some texts in. It seems to be the big changes in style that lead to it. I always grew up with a bob, desperately wanted long hair,

finally convinced my mum to let me grow it out. She took me to get layers and I ended up with a bowl cut mullet combo. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I was 10. So that stuck with me for a while Somebody said When I was a young man I was going for the Nick Carter look Okay, the part in the middle

Long, undercut Yeah, but dad came with me And stood behind the hairdresser saying Shorter, shorter, shorter, shorter And in the end I stood up Called dad a dick And stormed out before they'd finished I worked from Rickerton All the way back to Wigram Air Force Base

because that's where we lived. Oh, wow. Dad probably just wanted a short haircut so he didn't have to pay for another one in two weeks. I mean, that was why we always got a number four all over. My cousin gave me an 80s spiky haircut while hanging my head over a bucket because then I thought what it would look like when it was spiked up,

so they cut it upside down. And it's a really interesting take. I've not heard of that one before. Yeah, okay. Not only did I cry when I stood up and how it looked, but my mum cried too. You really need mum to be strong for you. I walked into a hairdresser and I said,

the one thing I don't want to look like is the berries and cream guy Did you say berries? Berries and what else? So I asked them I said I just want to look like the berries and cream guy and they said people usually say Lord Farquaad off Shrek

and I said ha ha yeah nah not that either and now I look like a perfect merge of the two. I have really curly hair. They cut me a fringe. I did not ask for a fringe. Oh, no. It's not for everybody. Someone said my hair

changes drastically between being wet and when it's dry. It's like two completely different hair styles. And one time the hairdresser got me, washed it, between being wet and when it's dry. Right. It's like two completely different hairstyles. And one time the hairdresser got me, washed it, and I said, oh, yeah, if you cut it wet, it's going to look completely different dry. But they cut it wet, and then when it dries,

I just burst into tears. Oh. Mm. Well, at least you've got hair. At least it grows. Yeah. Someone said, it's always important, and I've learned this the hard way,

is that when a new hairstyle comes out, give hairdressers a few people to warm up on first. Yeah. Before you rock on. Yeah. Because that comes from someone who asked for a pixie cut at the end of the 90s. Yeah. Yeah.

Give them five years. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $leshborn and Megan Play ZM ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound Season 10 All thanks to Neon. Watch the TV series and movies everyone's talking about on Neon. Our favourite Kiwi streaming service and the chance to win $50,000.

That's what the current jackpot is at. Good morning, Charlotte. Good morning. Hi, guys. I'm so stoked I got through. You've done it. You've done the hard bit. It's so cool.

No pressure, because if you can tell us what this sound is, we're going to give you $50,000 cash. Oh, my gosh. I feel like I just knew it when I first heard it. And then I went through the clues and everything, and it ties in. And I think it's where you strum a muted guitar, like an electric guitar. And it's where you, like, hold the keys. You can hold the strings down, or you can use tape. Okay.

And it's in the video. Oh, okay. I think that's what it is. I think it is. Charlotte, are you a musician yourself? No. One of my good friends plays an electric guitar and I've heard him make this noise before. Okay.

So that kind of sparked an idea when you heard it. Yeah, I heard it and I just knew straight away what it was. Oh, well that... I literally decided last night, this is definitely what it is and I couldn't sleep. Oh my God, well done for getting through. What would you do with the 50K? I'd probably treat myself a little bit,

but also then I would just put the rest of it towards the house. Yeah, that's a smart idea. Well, Charlotte, for $50,000, we're locking in your guess of muted electric guitar strings. You've seen it in the TikTok clue. And

Charlotte, I've got to say, that is not the secret sound. No, I was so convinced. Oh, my goodness. Maybe you can at least sleep better tonight, Charlotte. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you give me a clue?

Well, that means it's clue time. Yes, it is a clue. This one is going to be on neontv.co.nz. So that's all I'm going to say. We have to find it. Yep. Yeah, I'm turning you all into detectives, I think. Okay.

Neontv.co.nz. There you go. That's your clue to help you win that $50,000 cash with Secret Sound. Right now, though, coming off an absolute winning hot streak, Vaughn Smith, it's time for the return of I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Yeah. I love this game. If you would like to play 0800DARLS.M right now,

Vaughn's going to ask you five questions about your mum and then try to guess her name in 15 seconds. Is it? Are you feeling it today? How are you feeling today? You're in a bit of a weird... Oh, Jesus. But, I mean, you asked me how I was feeling

and I said I'm in a slight bit of discomfort. Okay. I think... When you ask somebody how they're doing, that is the kind of thing you keep to yourself. No, but I think I do and usually I don't. But I don't know if that's good or bad.

Maybe it's, you know, when you're urgently... So you need to go for your creativity or do you need to hold on for your creativity? Well, no, that's the thing.

You know, sometimes when you need to do something, it creates a sense of urgency and then you just get it done. It's like why Kiwis leave everything till the last minute.

Procrastination, you know, is an essential ingredient in genius or something? I think that's how it goes. I'm three quarters of the way there to a new saying. Hey you on the phone I bet I can guess your mum's

name. Well I'd go out and say, I'd go so far as to say this is one of New Zealand's favourite radio segments ever. You just say that because he packs a sad and doesn't want to do it sometimes. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. It's very draining.

Sometimes in the morning when we're planning the show, we'll say, we should do Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name today. And we're like, no. Not today. It's a Wednesday. Yeah. Do it on a Wednesday. Yeah, it feels like Wednesday was its day for a while.

And it's only Tuesday. So if it doesn't work today, I'm blaming that entirely. Right, we've had a hot run recently. You're going to have five questions to try and figure out Brayden's mum's name. Good morning, Brayden. Good morning, guys. How are you going? Good, good. Good.

You can do it on a Tuesday, Vaughan. Yes, see? Well, you do have the chance to win $100, so that's why you're greasing up Vaughan. So. I've got five questions I'm going to ask you about your mother. Awesome. You're just trying to feel her name there. I'm getting a vibe there.

Okay. I was saying the word. You just said awesome. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, well, ask a question. Okay. How does your Okay, well, ask a question. Okay. How does your mum, Sharon, have her coffee?

She actually drinks tea, not coffee. Oh, okay. So she never has coffee? No, she doesn't. Not even like a mum Chino when she goes out to meet her friends. No. Half strength. Yeah.

Extra hot. Supplementary question under the umbrella of the first question. Yes. Okay. It falls under the beverage chapter. What tea does she drink then? I should have said what hot drink, but I mean like what tea. Yeah, so she goes out, she'll have a green tea.

Green tea. Okay, so she goes out, she'll have a green tea. Green tea! Okay. Okay. Shit! That's a spanner. She's not basic. She hasn't gone for an English breakfast. No, she hasn't gone for an Earl Grey. She's a, she's a, she's a uh, uh, flower child. Right.

Uh, Fiona. Fiona. Fiona. Fiona. Okay. She's a Carolyn. Okay. She's a Carol, Caroline, Carolyn. That all falls under the same umbrella. Yeah.

She's a Lorraine. Lorraine. Okay. Okay. She's one more for this one. My Auntie Lorraine wouldn't drink green tea. Wouldn't she? Nah. She's a...

A Didi. Denise. Okay. Okay, question two. What is her birth month? August. Okay, an August month. What star sign does that make her?

I'm not familiar. Is that a Leo? It is a Leo? It is a Leo Oh, she's a She's a power She's a Karen I'm putting Karen Because one time I didn't

And I Yeah, it was Karen He laughed He laughed He's laughing at you She's a Jenny Jenny the Jenny the

Tiger Lion Margaret Margaret Who else do I know With a birthday in August? Wow, tiger, lion. Margaret. Margaret. Who else do I know with a birthday in August? This sounds stupid, but this sometimes works. Nobody.

Anna, producer Anya. Oh, Anna. Anna, what's your middle name? Charlotte. That's cute. Thanks for the approval. I can imagine Charlotte having a green tea to celebrate her midwinter birthday. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Okay. Might be a bit too young, though, that name. Charlotte. Charlotte's like an old royal name. I know, I know, but, you know, it comes and goes, isn't it? What about a Heather? That'll tickle your fancy, I bet you. Heather.

You know what? I'm going to put a Kelly. Okay. Next question. What kind of phone does your mother have? She has an iPhone. Oh, she might be on the iPhone 8. Oh, okay, so she still has the home button. Yes.

Oh, yeah, she does have the home button. Right, yeah. That sounds like a real Tina thing. I am going to go in there with a couple of 80s names. I'm thinking that might be a Vicky. That might be an Allison. Anne Allison or A. Allison. Anne Allison.

I'd say Anne Allison. It starts with a vowel, so it's Anne. Yeah, I know, but it didn't feel right, though. Anne Allison. Anne Allison, yeah. You say A. Allison starts with a vowel, so it's Anne. Yeah, I know. It didn't feel right, though. Anne Allison. You say, ah, Allison. Ah, didn't sound right either. Or a, um, stop laughing, please.

This is a serious process. I'm distracted. This is a serious process, Brayden. Diane. A Gail. Oh, okay. We had a Gail. Why'd you, Gail?

Gail. I don't think we have. This is my name is Gail, and this is my son, Brayden. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. Yeah, right. Everybody, meet my son, Brayden. Oh, he's lovely, Gail. Thank you, Diane.

Okay. What kind of haircut does mum have? Mum has, ooh, it's like shortish. Okay. I was going to say a bob, but it's not a bob. Above the shoulders? Above the shoulders. Okay, classic mum cut there.

Like Willy Wonka. Short, straight. Short, straight. Tina? I thought you wrote Tina already. No. No? No? Diane? No Tina? I thought you wrote Tina already. No. Oh. No.

Diane. No, Tina. It's because it's Tuesday. You're going to get into so much trouble. It's because it's Tuesday, Brayden. It's Bleacher's fault. He pushed for it. Could she be a Pauline?

I don't know if you want to put that on it. With that name comes a lot of responsibility. Okay. I think, I don't think I've got any. Okay. And finally, what are her siblings' names? So her siblings' names? So her siblings are Wendy and June.

Oh, that gives a real sample, doesn't it? June, Wendy, June. Yeah. Wendy is like Wednesday, and June is a month. Yes, it is. Well done. I need you on my team. I don't need sarcasm coming down the phone from you. No, it's supportive.

June, you wouldn't be called Judith. What about a herb? Like rosemary. Roses aren't herbs. They're chocolates. No, I was trying to figure that out. Rosemary. Rosemary. But okay,. No, I was trying to figure the rest out. Why are they rosemary? Rosemary.

But, okay, so June. I had Jenny, but you wouldn't have a June and a Jenny. No, probably not. And a, what was the other one? The other? Wendy. Wendy. Yeah.

Wendy. I don't have anything Wendy wobble you on there. I'm going to cross out Jenny. Okay. Are you ready? Are you ready? All right. It's not the longest list in the world.

Brandon, Vaughn now has 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop. That's my mum's name. Your time starts now. Fiona, Carol, Lorraine, Denise, Karen, Margaret, Anna, Charlotte, Heather, Kelly, Vicky, Alison, Diane, Gail, Tina, Tracy, Michelle, Pauline. That's my mum's name. Michelle.

No. Tracy. Yay! Yeah! With an E or without an E? I had it with an E. With an E. Even spelled it right.

You did spell it right. Well done. Well, that means you've triggered the bonus round. The bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. I told you you'd do this on a Tuesday. Look how happy you are. Look how happy you are.

I'm not going to be happy until I nail your dad. His name. Said many a good... I didn't mean that to sound like that. No, no. All right, so. But is your dad like a hot dad? Like, I'm not allowed a question, but I just, now I need to know.

If I'm nailing your dad, I want him to go. You're asking Braden, is your dad hot? No, we're just, Sav, yeah. Have other people seen that your dad's hot? Nah. No one's ever been like, dad, man, Braden's dad's. Nah. Okay. I ever been like, dad, man, Braden's dad. Nah. Okay.

So you're only allowed one guess, Maughan. One name guess. Simon. Tracy and Bruce. No. Tracy and Bruce. Are you feeling bees or something? Feeling like a...

It sounds horrible. I'm feeling like a word, a name that a stutterer would trip over on. Oh, okay. I don't know, like a... Like one of those... TBD... I mean, we don't have all day. Don't question the process.

Yeah. We could go to a song and come back. The process that has worked forever. Go to a song and come back. No, we're not. You've got to do it now. We don't have all day. We've got other plans.

Do you reckon it's T and T, Tracy and? Nah, Todd. I reckon it's Paul. No, we had a Paul. We're allowed another Paul. Yeah, there's more than one Paul in the world. Is there? Tracy and...

Peter. Oh, no, I don't. I'll put it in your head now. I don't want it to be on me. No, it is on you. Oh, shit. This is a roller coaster you're going to ride

with a bit of your mum's name. Sometimes you're right and sometimes you're wrong. Okay. Are you going to go with Peter? Yeah, because what you're about to experience

is going to be high. Either way, you're going to be riding high because you guessed it or you're going to be riding low because you really ruined it.

Stuffed it up. Oh, God. Okay, Brayden, what is... Me, don't make Megan say it. Brayden, is your dad's name Peter? My dad's name is Peter. She's got it. I've transferred the magic.

Are you kidding me? Are you joking? Are you joking? Are you joking? Whoa, that feels so good. See? She's on it now. How the hell did you do that?

I don't know. People are going to think this is rigged. Absolutely rigged. Brayden, no. Are you lying? Brayden. He's gone. Brayden? No. Are you lying? Brayden. He's gone. Brayden. Sorry, I put myself on mute.

I was so sorry. So you're not lying. No, there's 100% my dad's name is Peter. Executive Intunanya confirmed that before the competition started, it was, you did question the mum and dad's name written down there. That was written down and sealed in an envelope. Wow, not really, but okay. See?

Wow. Brayden, congratulations. $200. Thank you so much. Well done, you guys. Wow. See, I told you Tuesday works, didn't I? I said Tuesday.

It's a good day. Yeah, well, maybe it's what I was talking about before. Just that urgency to need to get it done Tuesday. It's a good day. Yeah. Well, maybe it's what I was talking about before. Just that urgency to need to get it done because I need to go to the bathroom. Yeah, right. What's the longest song we've got? ZDM Splash, Ron and Megan. Well, a study has found that finding love online may, in fact,

be more likely to end in divorce. But then that's how everyone's meeting these days, right? Yeah. So you could then say, well, of course that's a cause. That's why. But have they found out why it's more likely to lead to divorce? Do they have like a reason? So the researchers said that meeting online like a dating app came with a greater chance of an early split compared to meeting a partner via a more traditional way. So they surveyed thousands of people over the age of 30 that were married and they found that there was no difference between those who met on sites like Tinder and other dating sites that were maybe seen as less flingy.

Right. But, yeah, I guess that's just because people are meeting on apps more and more now, right? And there'll always be divorce. But we're getting divorce less in general now, aren't we? Yeah. It's less than 50%. But there's also less marriages. Yeah.

So. But, yeah, apparently six times more likely to end a divorce if you met on a dating app than just say you use your way. Another survey asked and looked at how people met their current or their most recent partner. 18% through mutual friends. 15% out and about. A fifth met at work.

So the odd work flings were a big thing. 5% through a shared hobby. And 6% through university or education. Yeah, okay. Through work or education? Yeah. I was talking about university. I was thinking you go to work one day.

You're 7 form, right? You're about to leave school. Here's my number. Give me a call after the school holidays. We'll give it a bit of a break. That sort of thing. Right. 7th form.

That aged me. Year 13. No one's saying I was going to say like what? 7th form. I haven't heard that for ages. I know. Still the best way. It's hard to work because I've always got to count up.

When someone says year 12, you're like 5, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You've got to work. Okay, that doesn't work all the time. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fact of the day, day the deepest known cave on Earth. Okay. It is located in, you know, Georgia? You know that team that always goes to the Rugby World Cup?

And you're like, where are they from? And it's just beside Russia. Oh, yep, yep. Georgia. And it is the deepest known cave on earth. The entrance is situated well above sea level.

But so far, going down into the cave, which cave exploration originally started, it was discovered in 1968. Yeah. And someone went down and they got down

to 115 metres. And they were like, I've got a feeling this is a big cave because they went like this, hello. And then it was like five years later, it was like, hello. And there was a big echo, lots happening down there. So that was when it was first discovered. In 1982, it received the name P17

and became a cave that people became very interested in exploring. From 83 to 86 they explored it and they got down 440 metres into the cave. Can you imagine going into a cave 440 metres? Terrifying. From 86 to 2000 work did not take place in the cave. Nobody went down into the cave.

And then they started exploring it again to see just how deep it goes. There is an insane amount of maps and in August 2021, so a couple of months ago, they went to an expedition to the deepest part of the cave that they've been to yet 1.1 K's into this cave. No way would I be doing that. And when they got there, they found a body and they were like, who are you and how did you get here?

Because this is the deepest any known explorer has ever gone in this cave and we're coming across a body. How terrifying would that be? Yeah. Climbing down something and being like, I believe we're as far as humankind has ever been down a cave. And they're like, oh, no, dead body. Like a skeleton.

So it was not really because when they first came across it, they had no idea how long he'd been there. Apparently the temperature in the cave and everything could lead to like. Preservation. Preservation. Oh, wow. So they actually ended up finding out it was a guy called Sergei, but it was in like the Russian part of the world.

So a dime a dozen men named Sergei. He left his home the year before, November 2020, after he read about the cave, and he was like, I don't know why they're mucking around. Just get down to the bottom of it. He went to the 600-meter mark where he set up a permanent camp, and then he continued his descent down. They believe he then got hypothermia.

Oh, yeah. When he was down there and he did that thing. You know when people get hypothermic and they're cold, but they think they're hot and they tear their clothes off and they just run? Wild. And they think that's what he did for the last couple of hundred metres. And they actually ended up getting the body out.

Wow. They said it was a super complex removal of the body. But today's fact of the day is the world's deepest cave known to man, and they don't know when they're going to get to the bottom, is in Georgia. Yeah. And in 2021, when they got to the deepest part yet, they found someone who had already been there.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, caliber. Yeah. Morally is impossible. Morally, yeah. However. Like, we do not expect this to work. No. However, in previous attempts to find a story that nobody can say, yeah, me too,

we've found people who speak about everything. I think my favourite was that whenever you landed a plane on a thing that wasn't a runway where you didn't intend to land, and people were like, oh, yeah, this happened to me, and everyone was so calm about nearly dying. My favourite was the struck by lightning one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a lot of people struck by lightning.

Who would have thought? Who would have even thought? So we want to know right now if somebody listening has been in the same situation as this man. A 65-year-old unidentified Maryland resident has won a $2 million scratch ticket prize twice. We want to know, and it doesn't need to be like scratch tickets, but we want to know when you've won big more than once. So you know like you hear those stories of people and they win lotto and then they still buy tickets and then they win again, the big one.

It should be a rule. You shouldn't be allowed to buy another one, especially if you won in the millions. That's you done. Unless you wear a disguise. You have to wear a disguise. Right. Like a moustache and glasses,

like a Groucho Marx set up. Yeah, triple the please, huh, shree? Are we going to take stories like what's the prize? Like what do we class as a big prize? Here.

A big, like $1,000 on a scratchy, but then you win another $1,000? To me, it's going to be $10,000. Oh, you're saying equal prize for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because then you get people going like, I won a dollar. Oh, I won another dollar. Yeah, it's going to be... $10,000. Oh, you're saying equal price for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because then you get people going, I want a dollar. I want another dollar. Yeah. It's got to be big. It's got to wow us. Yeah.

This man in 2019 bought a scratch ticket that won $2 million. Wow. And then he was like, well, that's it. I'm retiring. I'm going to take the family on vacay. Do our instant Kiwis even go up to that kind of money? No. I think the most is... $250? No, there's those big ones that are like $250, the family on vacay. Do our instant Kiwis even go up to that kind of money? Nah.

I think the most is 250. Nah, there's those big ones that are like 250 but they're the big Right. They're the big daddy tickets. And then recently he stopped at a petrol station

filled up the car and bought two more. That's not fair. He scratches he gets $100. He's like, well that's pretty neat. As soon as I won

$2 million on this and I just won $100, then he scratches the second one, $2 million jackpot. No, no, that's not fair. A tinny bugger, eh? A really tinny bugger. Mum! Mam, it's not fair. It's like when you forget to buy a lot of tickets for one of the big ones.

You're like, well, I hope it gets nicely split up. I have 10 people get to share $40 million. That's four million. That's a lot. And then when you've got it together you're like, nobody better win it apart from me. $40 million is not enough money. The impossible phone-in topic.

Maybe this will be the very first time we have found this impossible, but is there anybody listening who's won big more than once? And you decide what big is. Win two cars? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's big.

It is the impossible phone-in topic. Normally when we do a phone-in topic, we want everybody to be able to have a story and share. But the impossible phone-in topic, a news story that we find or a topic that we find so impossible, we're not expecting anyone to call.

But it's a win-win. Yeah. Because if no one calls, we're like, ha, told you. And then as people call, we still get to hear these stories. Amazing stories. Yeah. Today, a man in the US has won millions of dollars twice. In 2019, he bought a $2 million jackpot scratch ticket and won.

And then recently, he was filling up with gas, and he bought two more. One won $100, one won another $2 million. So we're asking the question this morning, when have you won big twice? Ashley, who won big? Hey, my Nana has won three big prizes in about the last seven years. How big are we talking? She's won a car. Yeah.

And then she won $250,000, just under $250,000 on a Keno-y, scratchy thing. And then she won flights and accommodation from a restaurant we went to for dinner. This is too much. It's too much winning for one person. To me or Nana. That's what I said. I was like, winning for one person. To me or Nana. That's what I was going to say. I was like, she needs to stop. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Are we accepting that? Yeah. Okay. So it's the impossible phone and topic has again proven possible. And did Nana give you any of that, Ashley? Not yet.

Not yet. Not yet, Astrid. Is there anything she went out and bought with the $250,000? No, she went and visited her other two sons that are overseas and stuff. And then she still hasn't used the flights and accommodation. They extended it because of COVID. That was nice of her. That was nice.

Obviously. But she still hasn't used it. She had about five years before COVID that didn't use it. Wow. Ashley, brilliant. Thanks for sharing. Tina, when did you win big twice? So I've won first division lotto twice.

What? No. Wow. Are we allowed to ask how much? So the first time was a $3 million draw. There were six winners. So I got $500,000. I think that's right.

Yeah, that's right. Yep. So I was only 18 then. Wow. Was that just like the worst thing to happen or the best thing? Because 18... It was the best thing at the time, but I got a hold of a new family that I didn't know I had.

Oh, yeah. They'll come out't know I had. Oh, yeah. They'll come out of the woodwork. Yeah, right. Yeah. And the other time, it was about 15 years later, I won First Division again and got $330,000. Wow. Wow. I can't believe your luck.

I know, right? How many tickets did you buy in between, though? Probably at least half of my winnings. No, yeah, I usually buy a ticket every week, so I usually just get lucky. So when you won the second time, did that change? Did you tell people

as much? No, I didn't tell people the second time. Yeah, I was going to say, after all your new family and friends appeared after the first time. Well, people were kind of already gagging at me the second time. Yeah, I was going to say, after all your new family and friends appeared after the first time. Well, people were kind of already gagging at me the first time. So I thought I'd just keep that little bit myself. Wow, amazing.

Brilliant. Tina, thanks for sharing. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, you know those lottery raffles where you buy a ticket for like 50 bucks and you can possibly win a house.

Oh yeah, I always liked those. Yeah, my dad won one of those. He won a house. People actually win. Yeah. He just sold the house,

never lived in it. Oh yeah. But said, I'll never win that again under my name so he started buying them under his father's name and won another one.

No. So now, I've said to dad, How do you win two houses in a lifetime? Start buying them under my name. That is crazy. Yeah, the luck. Now, I don't know. This one would need

certification. Some verification. This sounds like a little bit of an urban legend. Okay. But there's a story. My friend worked at the lotto office once and the big story around there was they wanted to reenact a guy winning first division lotto. And they were just going to give him a yellow blank piece of paper.

Hand it across to him. He's like, oh no, I'll buy one. And it was the ticket that he bought to reenact him winning also won him a substantial lotto prize. That's got to be rubbish. Sounds like urban legend. Sounds like too good to be true. Sounds like too good to be true. Sounds like too good to be true. Somebody else said,

my boss bought a lotto ticket in a hurry before boarding a plane. Freaked out that he'd bought the wrong numbers, so bought another one online. Turns out it was the same numbers. So he won twice. Oh, right. Off two tickets to the same drawer. Right.

I mean, they've ticked it there that he did win twice. Yeah. It was off the same drawer, so he was just splitting winnings with himself. Yeah. Yeah. So it has happened. Not impossible. And now I just feel so unlucky because I buy a lot of ticket every now and again

and I never won. Life's not fair, eh? Nah. I never win either, but I don't buy them, so I've only got myself to blame. Yeah, true. ZDM's Fleshborn and Megan.