ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 30th November 2020

Episode Date: November 29, 2020

Monolith Update  Top 6: Dunedin Volcano  When did the Secret Santa gift miss the mark?  It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas!Where's my Medal?  Fishy Tank S2 Episode 6  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. We're recording this podcast intro and the show today on the 30th of November, which means tomorrow, Deck 1. What? December 1. First day of summer. Yes.

Technically. Deck 1, I thought. What is it when we're like almost about to launch the nukes? DEFCON one. DEFCON one, yeah. DEFCON one. You were like, deck one. No, DES.

D-E-C one. DES one. December one, tomorrow. That means Alf on the Shelf. Alves will be, Scout Alves will be distributed from the North Pole by Santa Claus himself. Right. And we'll be arriving at houses all over the world tomorrow. Will they be arriving in your house this year?

Yeah. When do you think they'll stop? Oh, but I thought this year they wouldn't have bothered. Perfect excuse with COVID. Yeah, well, they will be touching down and being isolated in our Smith quarantine facility for a few days. Oh, okay.

And then that's another day you could have them scanning in with the QR code on their phone. Oh, that's a great idea That's a great idea Oh I actually get a QR code printed out and they can do that Yep It's a great idea I don't know why you or they I mean do this every year

They are Just making sure the children are behaving Yeah While it is Sometimes you'll freak out just before you go to bed because you have not seen the elves. Yeah. But they're in the morning, and it's all worth it

because Santa's watching, isn't he? And that guarantees good behavior for the month of December. ZM. Head music lives here. Fleece Fauna Megan, the podcast. Welcome to the show, Fleece Fauna Megan. Morning. Good morning.

Plug in the headphones. Pull your sleeves up. Get going. Get bloody going. God, there's so many Christmas decorations in here, it's sickening. I like how they've put baubles on the hand sanitiser, that's a nice touch. 2020. Yeah.

Very 2020. Does tinfoil conduct electricity? Yes, it does. Because I'm just worried it's near all the equipment. Is tinsel made out of tinfoil? What, I don't know. What is it? Tinsel.

Isn't that why it's called tinsel? But I have seen a bit of tinsel go across a 9-volt battery, you know, the square one, and it, like, heats up and goes. Oh, okay. Because it has conduct. Yeah, right. All right, well, that's in... Although this looks particularly plasticky, doesn't it?

But there's a wire in the middle. There's a wire in the middle, so I'm just worried about our health and safety there. Maybe we should go home till the workplace is safe, till these decorations are gone. Yeah, yeah. It's just an idea, guys, just to keep safe. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, apparently there's going to be

drilling into a volcano in Dunedin. Who knew that Dunedin even had a volcano? Yeah, that was a surprise. Apparently looking for geothermal energy options. Oh, okay. Some hot springs. Yeah. Steam passes through, spins the Oh, okay. So that's, yeah. Some hot springs. Yeah. Steam passes through,

spins the turbine, et cetera. Yeah, right. Just options, but I've got the top six other things they'll find in the Dunedin volcano. Are you on the lemon honeys today?

The strepsil. The strepsil. You've got a herbal elixir. Yeah, I do have the, my wife got, I just said, can I just have a Robitussin? Or, you know

I love my Irish Moss I'll just drink an Irish Moss it's a yummy little treat she got sucked into something called a Propalis Herbal Elixir this sounds expensive that's what I said

I said this is just I just wanted the Robitussin just the Irish Moss it's funny why she stops buying that because you just drink it when you're not even sick

I just have a little I just have a little I'd have it in a hip blast just have a little tips next on the show Just the Irish moths. It's probably a good way she stops buying that because you just drink it when you're not even sick. I just have a little. I'd have it in a hip blast. Just have a little tips. Next on the show, the monolith. This was the, where was it discovered? Like last week? Utah in the desert?

Yeah. By a helicopter. People in a helicopter saw it reflecting the sun's light. So they went down and looked and they were like, oh, this is weird. Thought to be an art installation rather than an alien way of contacting Earth, but

an update on the monolith. No. An update. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, just as quickly and as mysteriously as it arrived, it has disappeared. The Utah monolith, the one that was spotted that we talked about just

before by a helicopter team and presumed to be an art installation, has disappeared. Looked like it was a giant stainless steel rod poking out from the desert. Yeah. Would have been what, like two metres? Three metres tall apparently.

One of the theories was, wasn't that where Westfield was shooting? Westworld. Westworld. Did I say Westfield? It's been a busy weekend. I was the theories was, wasn't that where Westfield was shooting? Westworld. Westworld. Can I say Westfield? It's been a busy weekend. I was going to say, you've been at the mall

all weekend, haven't you? Westworld was shooting and maybe the art department were either having a laugh or was left over. Also, I read, was there a guy and he died? They reckon it's been there

since 2016. For Monolith? No, was it? No, they think it has been there. 2016. Because they did Google, they just poured through Google Satellite once the internet found out where it was. Poured over satellite images and then noticed a

point in time where it wasn't there and then when it was. It was placed there between August 2015 and October 2016. Wow. And so it was there undiscovered, like for four years. Isn't that nuts? Maybe even close to five. So a guy who actually went there posted about it on Instagram,

Dave Serber, underscore if you want to find him. He said, here are the facts about the monolith. It's aluminium and it's not magnetic. There are three pieces of metal that are riveted together and two rivets up the top are missing. So it's man-made unless that rules out aliens, unless aliens have rivets, which they could do. I think they would have moved past rivets, to be honest, if they could travel into universally.

And then he describes how to get there, the coordinates of how to find it. And he said, to be honest, it's a bit of a journey. So you're probably best to look at Google Maps, unless you want a bit of a journey on your hands. Yeah, right. He said, when I got there, I had it to myself for about 10 minutes. And then people started showing up. So I sat there all day.

And it just, people came and went and came and went and came and went all day. Because obviously they just wanted to come have a look at it. But when they first put photos up of it, I didn't know. It was just riveted together stainless steel. It looked like it was one crafted piece of metal. Yeah, but it's gone now. People were climbing up on top of it, getting photos. So it looked pretty solid though.

I still reckon it was Westworld because season one came out in 2016. So they would have been shooting. Yeah, right. But was there anything ever like that in Westworld? Westfield. Westfield. There's never been anything like that in Westfield. We'd be right in the middle of all the pedestrians

blocking shop entrances. They could probably have it in the middle where they have the Christmas tree. But it's just so random. Even an art installation, no one's going to see it. I did read a story at the weekend. I'm just trying to find it. I'm on the New York Times, but I've got a

paywall of journalism. Apparently we've got to pay for that now. If we want quality. So they reckon there's a guy called John McCracken and he was like a sculptor and an artiste. Right. And they reckon he made it guy called John McCracken, and he was like a sculpture and an artiste. Right. And they reckon he made it, but he's since died.

Oh. So he can't claim it because he's dead. But it's gone now, so I don't know who would have taken it. Yeah. Because it looked like it was in the ground. Well, they said it was there illegally, but like I'm, I don't, that just means that nobody checked before they installed something on public land. That doesn't

necessarily mean they want it gone. They said a person or a group removed it on the evening of the 27th of November. They saw a pickup truck driving away from the site and while they approached it, they were driving and they saw a truck and yeah, it looked like they had it on the

back and the monolith was gone and someone had scrawled briar bitch in the sand and had urinated on the ground and the entire tracks were visible. Wow. Okay. So it's gone.

It's been melted down or repurposed for something else. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So a study's been done into whether men find it important to have their partner take their name when they get married. Right.

So they lose their maiden name and they take the husband's name. The latest study I could find on the percentage of women that do that was 2004. So that was 94% of women took on their husband's surname in 2004 That's still quite a lot I'm imagining that 6% of the 6% of men that have a last name That doesn't work with their first name Would that be taken into account Where people would be like

Oh I can't change my last name Or I just don't like yours My new name, what it will be Or it rhymes Or it's a really similar name, like, or I just sort of a male example

would be like Donald Donaldson. You know how? Yeah, right. That's kind of cool. Phil Philipson. No, not cool. He could just be

Phil Phillips. Phil Philipson. Philip Philipson. Isn't he a singer? A country singer or something? I don't know. Is he? America?

That's confusing. That's hard to say. Well, women who, no, men who are more educated than men who drop out at high school find it less important. So this study was done and it had a diverse range of guys who had different educations and the ones that dropped out in high school, they found it more important and they said that they could be divorced earlier. The women would be less committed

and they should work less. So overall, they had not a very advanced view of women in a partnership. And so they sat them all down and they were like, okay, well, do you think that this person should take on this name, this name, this name? Made a name, partner's name, or hyphenate.

And the less educated they were, the more likely they were to say they need to take on my name. Mine. Yeah. She has mine. Mine woman, mine name. So I, yeah.

And the better education as well, the men were like, well, no, we have equal relationship roles. They were more likely to say that the woman could work while they stay at home and also housework and things like that. Yeah, right. If they had a higher education. We had a chat about like taking, who was going to take what name, but it was more because we already had that Andrew, my maiden name was Sellers,

already have Andrew Sellers in my family, so we were like, no, we'll just do it another way. Plus I'm pretty traditional, but it wasn't like, it wasn't something that he had, yeah,

he had gone into it being like, this is happening. Right. Yeah. He wouldn't have cared? Nah, I don't think so. I don't know.

Would the family have cared? Yes. My family would have cared, weirdly. If you hadn't? Yeah. Probably for the same thing. Like, why not? Are you not committed to it?

When you marry Major Murray Fluffington, will you be taking Fluffington as your Fletch Fluffington? And I'll also be a Major. Will you be? No, you don't just get to adopt the military rank. Absolutely I will. Oh, okay.

He earned that. What? Did he? Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We watched a bit of the Santa Parade

yesterday from Fletch's place. Oh, yeah. that's a hack. I was made to watch a Christmas parade. I was ready to shut it out. No. Quote, we should be filming this in case something goes horribly wrong. Oh. No, only because that lady was getting out of the giant Christmas stocking

on a wobbly ladder, and I was like, I could be filming this. They had to put a ladder up to get these kids off the top of this like Christmas boot. But, so the guy was just, how do I explain this?

The ladder was on way too much of an angle for a ladder. You know, ladders are pretty much supposed to be up, straight up and down with a little bit of an angle.

This thing was like 35 degrees. Yeah. 45 degrees. 47. 47 degrees. 47 degrees. 47 degrees. And the guy that was holding the ladder wasn't standing at the base of the ladder with his

foot behind it to avoid slipping. He was standing underneath the ladder halfway, kind of half holding it. It was raining. And I was like, and this was high. Yeah. Very high. The ladder was outstretched. And your first thought was, we shouldn't be filming this.

Yes. It was so, oh. And then there was that float. They slammed on the brakes and everyone went flying. And it was like a two-story float with a whole lot of women up top and like high heels and stuff. And they got to the end and break. And everyone just went, shaboom.

Should have been filming that too. Yeah, should have been filming that. So it was great. It was a great parade. Could have been absolutely chaotic. But it was another parade that we want to talk about. Vegans, they booked a protest spot. Now, I didn't know you could book a protest spot.

I didn't realise you had to do a booking for that. It makes sense though. All the forms. Yeah, I think so the council can be like, you know, hey, we'll shut off these roads or they tell police. Yeah. I can give them a bit of an escort. Yeah.

So the Wellington Vegan Action, that's a group, they organised a little march, a little protest. Yeah. However, the council, oopsie-daisy, double booked and they booked the Christmas parade on the same day. Right. Yeah, a very welly Christmas. A very welly Christmas on Lambton Quay.

It's a two-day festival. Yeah. But the vegans were like, well, we booked. And so they both did it at the same time. The tones of those events are very different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. Are vegans pro or anti reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh? Hmm. Because it's kind of making a vegan... Well, he's not eating the reindeer, is he? No, they're making an animal do something. Yeah, but so like they're against like dairy farming, but they're not eating the cow, they're milking them.

So they're like using an animal for a purpose. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, that's a good question. I don't know. I don't know where that... If you're a vegan, maybe just shoot us a message and let us know your thoughts on reindeer pulling the sleigh, whether or not you're pro or anti.

God, I wouldn't want to be a vegan explaining to my kids, would they just give Santa an E-powered sleigh or something? Oh, I don't. Again, I'm completely in the dark. Yeah, right. I feel like I'm a pillar of the vegan community, so I'm unable to comment. But you had to have it at the same time.

Did they insert themselves like a float in the parade? No, I think they just, by the look of it, they just walked through it. Oh, okay. Which is, yeah. I mean, would you want them at the front or the back? Would you want them after Santa? Yeah, because then, would you want them at the front or the back? Would you want them after Santa? Yeah, because then everyone's gone.

But then no one's going to watch the vegans march. If you're a vegan, you're marching, right? If you're pro that movement, you're marching. It's more to bring attention to it. But no one's purposely being like, come on, kids, let's go into town and watch the vegan parade. But whereas Santa's a, you know, you go to watch. It's a draw card, yeah.

Yeah, there's a whole lot of visual draw cards there. But anyway, it happened, and by the sounds of it, it was pretty, oh, well, there you go. It worked okay together. Right. There weren't lolly scrambles. Well, there's no lolly scrambles anymore anyway. See ya.

Yeah, no, you can't throw lollies out anymore. No, they just hand them out, run along the sides and hand them out. The vegans had some raisin scrambles. But that was all. Once the raisins touch the ground, it's gone. Yeah, they're no good. You've got to catch them. Yeah, you really do.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So some people in lockdown thrived with their partner. Other people broke up. And then you might be one of the people in between who signed up to Ashley Madison to cheat on their partner. How is this in between? Because you didn't break up, but you're still getting loving from someone else.

I feel like all those people that just had an all right time during lockdown are like, no, wait, that's not me. Not me, not me. Yeah, because you were in the middle. I was like, oh, there'll be heaps of people that just had an alright time during lockdown are like, no, wait, that's not me. Yeah, because you were in the middle I was like, oh, there'll be heaps of people that fit this. 17,000 people per day. Okay, so there are heaps of people. What a time to sign up for Ashley Madison to

cheat on your partner when you're supposed to be staying in your bubble and not mingling with people you can't trace or that aren't already in your bubble. It's a website for people that want to cheat, but they're in a relationship. Literally, if you're in a relationship and you want a bit on the side,

you sign up for this. Do you think it's more the fact that, like you say, they might not break the bubble, but they might just want some excitement? Well, Fletch, this is so prevalent that some US psychologists

have written a paper on this. It's called Infidelity in the Time of COVID-19. So they have said that it's not so much hating your partner or wanting to get away from them. It's more because COVID has affected us mentally. And if you go back, a lot of people are going back to exes. If you go back to an ex, you feel comfortable. You know it takes you back to a time

when everything was a bit more innocent. Right. You understand them. There might be some good feelings related. So you're trying to find like a simpler time. Yeah. And it's just thrown X. Some people, that's why some people were taking up like skills and things they used to do when they were younger.

Right. Like knitting or cross stitch. When they were younger. Skating. They were so young, it was their last life. Yeah. But if you seek a relationship with an ex-partner, they have some sort of degree of certainty.

Yeah, right. Rather than when you're with. But yeah, that's why it's been quite destructive because people were looking for something outside of what they've got. And then afterwards, they're like, oh, no, actually, I was quite happy in this relationship all along. Can you delete your Ashley Madison cheating profile that easily? I don't know.

That's just not specific to 2020. That whole thing you just described, isn't that cheating on a whole? People are like, oh, no, I shouldn't have done that after all. Yeah, well, I did have it good. Oh, dear. Too late. The grass isn't actually greener. Like, they all whinge at me for leaving my towel on the ground in the bathroom.

Yeah. Yeah. It was astroturf after all. It looked greener, but I tried eating it. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the first class ZM think tank, this is the top six. Atamari e.

And welcome to the Top 6. Today talking about the Dunedin Volcano. I didn't even know there was one. Here's what I've learnt about the Dunedin Volcano. Okay. It's 16 to 10 million years old. Okay. That was when it was at its peak.

And it was absolutely massive. It pretty much went from Dunedin to Atamawana, which is 25k. So it was a sizable cone. It's eroded over the last 10 million years. Otago Harbour now fills the oldest parts of the volcano.

There's thoughts that when it blew, one of the last times it blew out, yeah, it kind of allowed the harbour to form. Quarantine Island was like the centre of it. Okay. But now it's highly eroded away. But if you know Quarantine Island, if you're familiar with the harbour,

that was kind of like the middle of it. I had no idea. You can still see remnants of it in the Dunedin Botanical Gardens, in the geology walk, the cliffs at Atamawana are part of it. All around. So obviously extinct now.

It's not a... Dormant, yes. Right, okay. Yes, dormant, but that's not going to stop scientists apparently wanting to drill two 500-metre deep holes. What are you doing that for? Here's the idea. Here's why.

Because then if you pump water down through pipes that are down through those holes, it will come up heated and it can be used to heat buildings and just heat water in general and that would drastically reduce the amount of carbon-based fuel consumption and

the consequent greenhouse gas emission. Now, if I was to just anywhere in New Zealand around, like, geothermal areas, if I had a hot pool, could I do this? It's a free heating for my hot tub. Rotorua does this.

Yeah, they do some places. It's part and parcel. Yeah, but that's you. You're gambling. You never know when you're going to have a geyser in your backyard. Well, that's a thing. Yeah, you might hit a pressure vent.

I don't think it's recommended you just get a drill bit extension for your DeWalt drill. Just go ham in the backyard. Probably something you want to have professionally undertaken. Yeah, okay. But if they start excavating and looking around, what are they going to find? These are the top six things they'll find in the Dunedin Volcano.

Number six, remnants of old couches. Now, it'll take some investigation to find out whether the couches were burnt before they were thrown into the volcano or they were thrown in as some sort of sacrifice to the gods and then burnt within. A scarpy sacrifice. Yeah, and that's where I went now

when I see people on the news saying, oh, the scarpies are burning couches on the side of the road. They're just paying homage to their ancestors. They are, yeah. Who lobbed the couches into volcanoes to appease the God. Number five on the list of the top six things you'll find in the Dune volcano are bottles of long white. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Long white bodies. Most probably vortex. Yep. Just the quickest way to get them in there. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Long white bodies. Most probably vortex. Yep. Just the quickest way to get them in there. Yeah, right. And then lobbed into the volcano. Great.

Nothing sort of, no sort of sacred religious act there. They just need to get rid of the bottle so they chuck it in the volcano. If you had a volcano, wouldn't you just chuck your rubbish in it? Yep, so I'd chuck everything in. Don't you get volcanic glass? Is that what it's from? Yeah. Yeah, that's what.

Long white tomatoes. And big swapper crate bottles. Except just don't chuck your swapper crate bottles in there because then you can't take your full crate back. It's just a shame they put two swapper crate bottles in the recycling, but I had to dig through. I was like, you, Darl, you've got to get your refund. Darl, you've got to put them in there.

What you do is you put them all back in the crate and you leave that crate in the garage for years until you're like, oh, I should swap, get a chance of that. And then you do. That's how swapper crates work. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll find in the Dunedin volcano, Katmandu puffer jacket. Now that's believed when ancient Aucklanders moved to Dunedin.

After a little while, they acclimatised to the stark difference in climate. And didn't need it. And didn't need the Puffer jacket anymore. Wow. Number three on the list of the top six things you'll find in the Dunedin volcano. Ancient landlords' tenancy agreements. Spoiler alert, they never filed them. You were never going to get your bond back,

even if you returned the home in the same condition you found it. Yeah. They can always find a way to scab you out of the bond. Number two on the list of the top six things they'll find in the Dunedin volcano. Jaffas from when they used to race them down the side of the volcano, not just Baldwin Street. Yeah, the original Jaffa race. Yeah, just outside of an erupting volcano. And number one on the list of the top six things they'll find in the Dunin volcano,

the original prehistoric Maldi train station. Well before the original train station now. That train station now. There was an original train station. The most photographed building in the southern hemisphere. And it was the most photographed building in prehistoric New Zealand too. Yeah, right. With the technology out of hand,

which was just when you walked up and you looked at it and you shut your eyes. And you know when you shut your eyes after you've been staring at something and you can see it on the inside of your eyes for a little bit? That's it, yeah. That's how you used to take a photo back in the day. It's not the most photographed thing in the Southern Hemisphere either. It's definitely not.

I mean, Sydney Opera House. Sydney Harbour Bridge. Sky Tower. Yeah. Lots of things. Stop saying that. Love you, Donata, but stop saying that. Stop lying to us, Donita.

Stop telling fibs. You're all right how you are. You don't need to lie about who you are. We love you. Most of you. That's today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Secret Santa. We've all been given hours around ZM, who we've got for Secret Santa. Very technological this year. We've all got the automated email ZM, who we've got for Secret Santa. Very technological this year. We've all got the automated email to say this is your Secret Santa. Did we feel that was random? Yeah, it was like a website. Oh, you always.

Generated website thingy. Vaughan always thinks it's a conspiracy who he gets for Secret Santa. You know, you could register your wish list and then like. How? The other person could click on your wish list. How? It said below. I didn't read that.

Okay. But you've got your person. It said your secret Santa is dot dot dot and then it was like register your wish list. Right, because we've got our

Christmas party in a couple of weekends so you've got a couple of weeks to sort it out for them. Right, okay. $20 max. You've done yours? Yep.

Done it. But I've got some ideas for what not to get. Okay, well, someone's done a list of what you shouldn't get. Yeah, or suggestions on certain things. So apparently chocolate is not appreciated. Oh, it says who? At least you can eat that.

At least, of course, you're buying for someone who's got an allergy to chocolate. Well, yeah, I mean, you should know if you work with, like, a vegan and you've bought them some dairy. Or a diabetic or something and you're buying them. Yeah. Yeah. So lots of people say they didn't like receiving chocolate because of maybe they don't, you know, they're dairy-free or whatever,

but also because you're already eating a lot of junk at Christmas time. You don't need to add to it. And some people feel like it's a bit of a cop out. But also like, then you can blame your weight on the person in the office. You know, they're your summer scapegoat. Yeah.

Also, sex toys were common gifts. I beg your pardon? Out of work? I know. And also, how are you getting that into your $20 limit? Because like,

spinnies. Yeah. Or how much are they? You're thinking like limit? Because, like, spinnies. Yeah. Well, how much are they? I'm just like nipple tassels or something. Are they cheaper? Like a couple of clamps, a couple of nipple clamps. Maybe. Maybe they're just old school.

I mean, you could improvise with a couple of, like, bulldog clips from the stationary cupboard. It's like homemade toys. There we go. That's the attitude. That's what I wanted to hear more about. That comes under the $20. Sex crafts.

Yes. They were among one of the most common gifts and among the most disliked. Is it because, like, let's be honest, it would be quite funny when everyone's gathered around at the Christmas party for, you know. And little Timmy in the corner gets given a sex toy. Brilliant. This feels like wildly tiptoeing along the air, a trip to the HR department.

Yeah, it does. Yeah, but the thing is, the thing is no one will find out it's you, will they? It's always pretty easy to work out who got who for Secret Santa. Especially because when there's a party, everyone's like, I was your Secret Santa. Yeah. If they really like it, you're like, that was me.

Yeah. 68% of office workers preferred a thoughtful present. 68% I'll remind you because I give presents to people who actually like. And they said it's important. It doesn't have to

be expensive or anything, but it has to be something that they'd like so that the people know something about them right no no I just love to mess with my secret Santa people 23% of men prefer joke gifts

yeah see that's the thing I love a joke gift you've got to mess with them 23% of men that's only 23% yeah that's still one quarter 11% of women

did not like joke gifts and I'd say majority women at ZM. Right? Yes, I do have a women for my secret Santa. So, hmm.

Did you tell us? You can't say. I think I said. Right. So, I would like to know off the back of this, maybe it was a gift that they thought was going to be funny and it just was not. Do you want to hear from people that have, what, maybe. Missed the mark. Missed the mark with a Secret Santa. Yeah.

Well, I want to hear from these awkward like adult fun toys. Yeah. Maybe you did get an AFT for your Secret Santa. But that's. Well, maybe things went down at the work Christmas party with the Secret Santa. And is that something where you're like, oh, oh my God.

No, this is silly. I'll put it in my bag. It is made of plastic and this can't just be chucked in the bin. I can take it home to the recycling. Yeah. Or maybe, yeah, maybe there was a gift that, yeah, was a bit too, I don't know, on the nose. Yeah. Or maybe you got given like a fancy-ass watch or something.

Oh, yeah, maybe someone... It blew the budget. Yeah, went way over. Maybe because they... Oh, my God. People that maybe fancied them in the office. Yeah. Some of the most hated Secret Santa presents

have been revealed. Don't do chocolate. A lot of people don't enjoy chocolate. Whether they are allergic to it or not, they just don't think they need the extra sweets at Christmas. And a lot of people, 68% of workers, prefer a thoughtful present rather than the jokey one. So just think about that.

I'm still going for the jokey present. Okay. $20. You're not going to win anyone over with a thoughtful $20 present. That's just screaming you're not a thoughtful person. But what could you buy me for $20 That would make me go Oh my god, amazing

I don't know about you Because you're a tough one And you're underwhelmed by everything But I managed to do it How much are those socks? What socks? With the socks where you can get your Pet's face

Yeah That'd be pretty cute actually Major Murray on your socks What are the personalised gifts You can get for under $20? Okay, well, maybe I could be wowed by that then. You could be wowed. Maybe I could be wowed by a $20 sock.

But we wanted to know when your Secret Santa missed the mark. Sam, what happened? It was for a school Secret Santa in class, and we got given out all the presents, and I got mine wrapped up in a bit of refill and it was like a snapped in half pen. You got, this is why Secret Santa never worked at school because yeah, the shit bag in the class had to take part.

Yeah. They were always. They didn't do anything so they're like, oh, what can I give their last minute? Yeah. Wrapped up a pen and they snapped at the bottom of their bag yeah I bet that person got a really good

secret Santa from a thoughtful person so yeah they did as well it's just a real reflection of society itself isn't it

you're still holding on to that too all these years later Sam yep yep still holding on to it and every year every year mum thinks

it's so funny to wrap up a broken pre-existing mum's love I like mum's love slamming you in the face still holding on to it. And every year, every year, Mum thinks it's so funny to wrap up a broken Christmas. Mums, eh? Mums love slamming you in the face with your childhood trauma. Executive Intern,

you got that with a Christmas gift at one of our secret centres. You just didn't get one. And you were at the party, you looked like a poor kid that his parents

hadn't forgot to pick their kid up. Yeah. Somebody had had a busy few weeks and... That's what they said to you....forgot to pick their kid up. Yeah. Somebody had had a busy few weeks. That's what they said to you. Forgot to get me a Secret Santa present. Did they get you one later after it all cooled off?

Yes. Yep, a few weeks later. Oh, they did? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. What are you whinging about then? I'm not whinging.

You brought up. You were whinging at the time. No. Me? You were whinging just before. I don't whinge. No. Okay.

That's why I remember it so much. It's the only time I've whinged. Oh, thank you, Vaughn. Vermintly un-wingy. No, it's such an un-wingy person. That was such a sight, though. You were so sad. But how busy?

Like, it's $20. Just go to Countdown or something. Buy them some lollies or... I mean, it goes against what I've just read to you, but at least you made an effort. Literally goes against what you just read out. Yeah. Somebody said some text messages, I wanted to get somebody soap on a rope.

Do you know how hard it is to find soap on a rope these days? So they bought a $5 piece of rope and a $2 soap and made their own. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And it went down pretty bloody well on Saturday night. I'd imagine you'd just drill a hole in a block of palm olive. Yeah. And then put the rope through. Would hole in a block of palm olive. Yeah. And then put the rope through.

Would you tie a sort of a knot? Yeah. Or would you loop it around and tie the rope to itself? I don't know. Loop it around and tie it to... I don't know. So would you put the rope through and tie a knot on the rope so that it couldn't... Oh, yeah. Right.

Or would you put the rope through and then tie it back on so it was like a ring that the rope... That the soap was in the middle of? No, I'd tie... I'd put it back on so it was like a ring that the rope, that the soap was in the middle of? No, I'd tie, I'd put it through. So it was like on a long. Yeah. I'd just give somebody a bottle of liquid soap because nobody's using bars of soap apart from Megan.

And all the people that are buying them at the supermarket. Bars of soap. No, but I thought this was the year they had a resurgence because of like the plastic involved. Oh, we've gone back. We've gone back. We've gone back. We've gone back.

Somebody said, I work at a supermarket and we did Secret Santa. I'm pretty sure gone back. We've gone back. We've gone back. We've gone back. Somebody said, I work at a supermarket and we did Secret Santa. I'm pretty sure every single present was something from work purchased in five minutes before we did Secret Santa.

I always put a lot of effort into Secret Santa. One year I was training to be a teacher and I was invited to join my placement school Secret Santa. I stuck to the budget

and I got the teacher a really nice succulent and a pretty pot for their classroom. I got a framed photo of the groundskeeper. See, that's great. That's funny. Even better if it was from the groundskeeper.

It would be even better. Now, saying sorry is hard to do. There was a song like that, but I don't know the harmony or what it sounded like, so I'm just going to say that there was a song about it. And we'll all imagine it. Saying sorry is hard to do. Yep. So people are using autocomplete to apologize as an online trend.

So what you do, how this works is you start typing. This can be in like a text message or in any messenger chat, anything, but it's got to be on your phone. Oh, can it be a Google autocomplete? You could try that. I'm sorry. I am sorry for being is what you start. For being rude.

It's accurate. Yep. Yep. Fair enough. Fair enough. And you keep tapping the middle suggestion until you get your apology. I'm going to do that.

So in a text message. Yeah. On the phone. I'm sorry for being a space and then big, big guy. Have you had to issue that apology before? I'm just watching it. And I'm just watching it. And I'm just watching it.

Right. Ha ha ha. Oh my god. I'm sorry for being a big, big guy. I'm sorry for being a big, big guy, but I'm just watching it and I'm just watching it right. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh, well that sounds like a great apology for any situation. Ends with a ha ha. That's classic you. Oh, that's what I use a great apology for any situation.

Ends with a ha-ha. That's classic you. Oh, that's what I use for full stops. Ha-ha. Yeah, it gets me into a bit of trouble sometimes. Sorry for being a big, big guy. Goodness me. You must be a gentle lover.

Okay, I'm sorry for being. Oh, God. I'm sorry for being late. But today is. That was what I'm reading and I'm sorry for being. Oh, God. I'm sorry for being late. But today is. That was what I'm reading and I'm not actually. But yeah, it's right on the mark. On the mark. I'm sorry for being late.

But today is the day I have. Have. A. Meeting. That sounds like a lame excuse you'd use for being late too I'm sorry for being late But today is the day I have a meeting Megan, you do yours I don't have, what is it?

Word suggestion Word suggestion Well, I'm on a different phone to you, sorry Flash phone peeps Oh, and the producers both Have you guys got a prompted apology to make? I'm sorry for being. I'm sorry for being late

but I didn't know that I would have you come on Monday. Wow. You're sorry for being late too. Producer Jared. I've got I'm sorry for being so committed to you

It sounds like you too Yeah, Mountie, the social media desk Mine's quite a long one, it says I'm sorry for being so so much I can't wait to see you again and I miss you so much XOXO But I'm sorry for being so much So much, so so much

This is a fun game I've been so much If you do it again Will it be different? I Oh I don't know Let me try I'm not willing to roll the dice

On that one I am Alright 7.27 Megan You've got the latest next Yeah it's the same Is it? Weird

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan The podcast Next. Yeah, it's the same. Oh, is it? Weird. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Well, today we are 24 days, 16 hours and 23 minutes away from Christmas Day. Ooh, eh. 16 hours and 23 minutes away from Christmas Day. I can't whistle. I tried to do the whistle thing.

So this is a segment of the show where we take a look at Christmas penetration. Yes, and that comes in all shapes and sizes. It generally starts mid-July with mention of Christmas parties and it's time to book your Christmas events. Then calendar reminders of community events coming into Christmas. Then you see your Advent calendars. Then you see your chocolate Santas. And then you start getting your more, your Lindens.

Yeah. And it's been a weird, obviously because of COVID, it's been a weird year for Christmas penetration. It's been a weird old year. Normally we would be finished. We been a weird year for Christmas penetration. It's been a weird old year. Normally, we would be finished. We would have been 100% Christmas penetration. Weeks ago. Weeks ago, yeah.

For example, in 2016, we had 100% Christmas penetration on the 7th of November. Wow. And in 2019, we had Christmas penetration, full Christmas penetration, 100%, on the 12th of November. Yeah, right. And here we are at the very end of November, November 30th, and we still haven't hit 100% Christmas penetration. But let's have a look at some reports of Christmas, and they are coming in thick and fast now. The big Christmas tree is up in Dunedin, in the Octagon. Oh, okay.

The big Christmas tree is up in Dunedin, in the Octagon. Oh, okay. The big Christmas tree is up. Also over the weekend was the lighting of Hamilton's giant Christmas tree in Garden Place. Now this is a bloody huge Christmas tree. It's a huge tree, it's a biggie. With lovely lights on it too, so I just give that a drive by with the kids if you want to keep them happy about some Christmas lights.

We've also got reports of more and more Christmas Mince tarts but not just like in a pack At the supermarket like actually being made Oh okay In bakeries also some reports of Neighbourhood Christmas lights up and functioning

I think I might have stumbled Because I moved in August I think I might have Found myself in a street that does a lot of Christmas lights Which is the open invite There's so many Christmas lights. Reindeer on the lawn. It's all go on my street. Are you going to get involved? I want to.

Because you've got your Christmas shopping done. You should go out and get some lights and stuff. Think about the power bill before you do that. There is that. So, other reports. I work at an isolation hotel and we've got our decorations to put up. Oh, okay.

So they've been, I don't know if those are government issued. Do you have to wrap them all in glad wrap? Yeah. PPE. Well, you certainly have to give them a spray before you put them away for next year. I would.

How long can it live on a surface for though? Not 360 days. On a bauble. Not that long. Somebody said at home, we put up our Christmas tree at the weekend. It's felt like Christmas at our house. And somebody said that Levin's giant Santa's up and ready to party.

Also, Christmas parades at the weekend. We already talked about Wellington's Christmas parade. Yep. Because it also happened to be Vegan Action Day parade. Yep. One far more popular with children than the other. Vegan this year, it turns out, more popular. The Auckland Santa Parade was on yesterday,

and you've got to take your hats off to those people because it rained pretty much the entire hour. It did, yeah. It took for them to get down the street. And there was a giant blowout Peppa Pig too. Did you see that go past your house? No. It just went past after we left.

Oh, no, it didn't. It went past the giant Peppa Pig. Gosh, have you missed it? our eight-year-old said, what the hell has Peppa Pig got to do with Christmas? I said, well, you've got to get your Christmas ham from somewhere. And then she hit me, and my other child hit me as well. So that was good. Good that they realised that's the joke there.

So Christmas parades have happened. Big Christmas Santa that's usually the mark of 100% has moved from Auckland to Wanaka and is getting resurrected. Christmas parades are happening. Christmas parties are happening. And 24 days away from Christmas... Dust off the vocal cords, Mariah. Right now, Christmas penetration is at...

100%! Yes! Yes! Christmas Penetration is at 100%. Yes. That almost sounded like you were really into it, Fleet. 100%. 100% Christmas Penetration. I'm glad that we're finished. The latest, the last. Yeah, yeah.

The latest year we've ever had in all of our years recording Christmas Penetration. And you know what that means. Well, you know what that means. When we hit 100% Christmas penetration. It's too early to play. It's tradition. It's no. It's tradition.

I think the last day of November is quite fitting. Yeah. Oh, those bells hit hard though, actually. Oh, wow. It's happening. Oh, my God. It feels so great. More than you could ever know Make my wish come true All I want for Christmas

Is you I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need And I don't care about the presents I don't need the Christmas tree I don't need to end my shopping There upon the fireplace Santa Claus won't make me happy With the toys on Christmas Day

I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true All I want for Christmas is you You, baby I won't ask for much this Christmas, I won't even wish for snow I'm just gonna keep on waiting, underneath the mistletoe I won't take the list and send it To the North Pole for Saint Nick I don't need to stay away too long With the magic rain declared

Cause I just want you here tonight Holding on to me so tight What more can I do? All I want for Christmas is you You, baby All the lights are shining so brightly every way And the sound of children's laughter fills the air And everyone is singing I hear those slangs and screaming Said I want your praise, baby, I want a real name

Don't you be afraid, my baby, to me it's a name Oh, I don't want a life of Christmas This is all I'm asking for I just wanna see my baby Standing right outside my door Oh, I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true

Baby, all I want for Christmas is you You, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby Well, it's happened. Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas, which means we have hit 100% Christmas penetration in our segment. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Slower year. Yeah. It's taken a look a lot like Christmas. Slower year.

Yeah. Slower year. It's taken a while this year, hasn't it? Yeah. Well, the studio's exploded Christmas too now. It's literally

Christmas air wear. I just choked on some tinsel before that. It was a pretty serious issue. Some feedback on people hearing Mariah Carey there. Or that's got to be

101% I feel penetrated by the Christmas spirit. Is that a good one? Is it weird that the song makes me emotional and more so this year than others? Yeah, I feel like that. It's been a hell of a year. I'll forgive you for that one. Someone said gave me goosebumps, which is weird. And then there's all the retailers that we've just given PTSD to.

Yeah. Hearing that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for that. Because that's only going to get more over the coming weeks,'ve just given PTSD to. Yeah. Hearing that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for that. Because that's only going to get more over the coming weeks, isn't it? Yeah. Fletchfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year in a row. Your gold medalist. Where's my medal? I love this segment of the show. I love it. We celebrate those small little achievements, those things you finally got around to doing maybe. Or at least like started and intend to finish at some stage.

So we meet three people. We hear their stories of triumph and victory, satisfaction perhaps. Yeah. And then we rank them. And then we award medals. And then we award medals. We had the medal ceremony. Bronze, silver, gold.

Hayden, good morning. Oh, good morning, team. Now, what is your small achievement? Why do you deserve a medal? I think I deserve a medal because I actually filled up. I filled up the car before the petrol light came on. Oh, my man. Yes. That's madness. I always intend to. Madness light came on. Oh. My man. Yes.

That's madness. I always intend to. Madness on a Sunday. Yeah. But, you know. Oh, wait, this was on a Sunday? Yeah. That's some pre-planning.

Oh, that's even better. That's great. Yeah, right. Because do you have, Hayden, do you have the thing on the speedo or whatever where it says how many Ks till empty? Or are you just... No, no. I've just got the wee orange light.

Wow. So you're really, like, living on the edge of the empty? Or are you just... No, no. I've just got the wee orange light. Wow. So you're really like living on the edge of the seat there. Yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. Past Hayden was really looking out for future Hayden. What about when cars didn't even have fuel lights? How did you tell? It just started going...

It just started pointing at E. Wild times. It's always had the dial, but like... Oh, right. You get down and, you know, like I could point at E... Like titty-titty. Wild times. It's always had the dial, but like, when I get down and, you know, like I could point at E, it's only kidding. Like, it could fly, but it didn't have a fuel light. What's up with that? Air.

Just saying. Thanks, Hayden. Wait there, medal ceremony in just a minute. Michaela, why do you deserve a medal? So I remembered to take the, like, put a new bin liner in the bin after I took the rubbish out. Wow. Oh, wow.

I always do that. I always go to chuck something in the bin when I've taken the rubbish out. I'm like, I'll just leave it on the bench and do the bin liner later. Yeah, well, I'm kind of taking the rubbish out, and then I forget, like, I get distracted by something else, and I forget to put the bin liner in, and then I always get in trouble in the flat chat. Oh. Your passag flat chat. Yeah. Do they know it's you or is it just like they just throw it out there that someone needs to own up to this? Well there's only four of us and so there's

always like this I always know that it's targeted at me but my name's never mentioned. At least you're taking the rubbish out though Michaela. That's what I think. I always get so upset whenever someone calls me out because I'm like well someone else could're taking the rubbish out though, Michaela. That's what I think. I always get so upset whenever someone calls me out because I'm like, well, someone else could have taken the rubbish out and you didn't. So now you just have to live with it. Exactly. Yeah, if you took the rubbish out, you've done the hard part.

They can chuck a bin liner in. Yeah, I'd rather put a bin liner in than take the rubbish out. All right, Michaela. Wait there, the medal ceremony just minutes away. Laura, why do you deserve a medal? Morning. I deserve a medal because I have shaved my legs for the first time in the last five months.

Wow. Not that you have to. I know. They were getting pretty hairy. I thought I'd better deal with them. Is this because the weather's getting better? And there might be some beach time? Yeah, exactly.

It's been a while. What sort of neck were they in? I've kind of got these random sort of patches down the bottom of my legs that get really hairy. Yeah. I could probably have almost maybe small dreads, maybe. Small dreads? Small dreads, maybe. Small dreads? Small dreads. It's 2020, babes.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if 2020 is okay to... What's that on your leg? It's my hair dreadlocks. My leg dreadlocks. Did you have to use like two razors or just one razor head? I had to go over it a couple of times and borrow my partner's shaving gel. My legs are in locks. Did you have to use like two razors or just one razor head?

I had to go over it a couple of times and borrow my partner's shaving gel. And were you constantly like, tapping it out to get the hair out of the blades? It was a longer shower than usual, let's put it that way. Wow. All right, well, judges now, we'll decide on our medal order.

That was your choice for gold? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you happy for that to be gold? To be honest, I can't read your writing from here. It's terrible. It's terrible. That's the order we talk to the men. Also, why do you do the cute dots on your eyes like a bit of circle?

I don't know. Because you used to do hearts, didn't you? No, no, no. I've always done it like a circle. You write like a 14-year-old girl. Well, I was a 14-year-old girl. I changed my writing to impress her. Yeah. I mean, it was when I was 14.

I just didn't do this last week. Hey, 14-year-old, am I cool? How about we do a talk talk? That one? Yeah, let's go there. What do you want second place? Yep. That one?

Oh, no, I want to win this guy. Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm happy with that. Okay. All right, first up, receiving the bronze medal for her services to smooth legs and the removal of leg hair dreadlocks in 2020.

After five months, she went and did it. But maybe the smoothness is rewarding to itself. Congratulations, Laura, our bronze medal winner today. How did your sheets feel? Amazing. I changed my sheets too. Not after five months. Wait, are you saying that sheets are different with smooth legs? Amazing. I changed my sheets too. Not after five months. Wait, are you saying that sheets are different with smooth legs?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. What? You need to try it. You're missing out, Fletch. You should just try it. No, just give up. I've never shaved.

This is virgin hair leg. You should try it just for the feeling. Like virgin native forest. It would be an absolute crime to cut it down now. And then it'll get replanted with pines. It's not the same. Norfolk pines aren't as beautiful as the original. Norfolk pines are horrendous.

No, horrible. I know they are. Thank you, Laura. All right, it's time for our silver medal. For his services to keeping the bulb of the fuel light unlit and thus lasting longer in the car without needing replacement, he filled up on a Sunday of all days. Oh, the Lord's Day.

Although she's been writing books about Antarctica, so I don't know what she's doing on Sunday. Ladies and gentlemen, Hayden is today's silver medal recipient. Congratulations, Hayden. Well done, mate. Fantastic. All right. Well you, guys. Well done, mate. Fantastic. All right, well, that means... For services registered to not getting juice

in the bottom of the bin because somebody didn't look if there was a bin liner in before just chucking a bit of yuck in there. She not only took the rubbish out. Yeah. She put a new bin liner in. She She not only took the rubbish out. Yeah. She put a new bin liner in. She's a volunteer hero.

Cheers. She'll be on the $5 bill note. She'll be on the $5 note. One who's got the heart to scuttle to red. Gold medal winner for today's Where's My Medal for putting the bin liner in, Michaela. Congratulations. Thanks, guys.

I'm stoked. What an achievement. And as always, you can put this on your LinkedIn. It's allowed. And whack it in the flat chat and say, stick it up your bum. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. My parents have just done a, what would be two weeks, I think, by the time they get home.

A little two-week break because it was their wedding anniversary. They always take some time off around the summer year. Generally, they go to my brother's place in Australia because it's his birthday in November as well. But that was a no-go. So they can't. Are you the favourite then again? Absolutely.

Yeah, good. I mean, they went and saw him. It didn't mean they were his favourite. Yeah, true. I think they felt obligated. It's probably more the duty-free in the holiday. Yeah, grand. I mean, they went and saw him. It didn't mean they were his favourite. Yeah, true. I think they felt obligated. It's probably more the duty free and the holiday. Yeah, grandkids and stuff. Although, screw living in Australia.

Did you see the other night, Sydney set a record overnight, overnight the low temperature was 25 degrees point something, or 24.5. At the weekend, it was like 39 degrees. That's nuts. That's November too, like. Yeah. That's when you're going to get hotter. And there's bushfires on the outskirts of Sydney. Yeah.

So that felt like it just ended right and then COVID hit and then they're back, baby. The bushfires are back. Yeah. So that's another great reason. But they've been ticky touring around the North Island, the upper North Island for a couple of weeks and they called in for a weekend on their way just before they go home. Do they have any highlights?

Yeah. Yep. Up north. They really like up north. Oh, yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, beautiful. Fish and chips.

He had some ribs up there. He wanted to tell me about the ribs. Jimmy's Rib Shack or something. I was like, I'll write it down. He's like, you would have loved it. They had ribs. I was like, well, he's not wrong. That's often all it takes for me to love a place, is if there's

ribs. But then, mum and dad had never tried yum cha. And they always hear us talk about it. And I was quite proud, actually. My mum absolutely smashed the yum cha. She got involved. She didn't go too out there, like, you know, it was entry-level yum cha. There was no chicken feet

or tripe or anything like that. It was your dumplings and your steamed pork buns and sticky rice or the staples of it. But she really liked it. And then when we were in Central Auckland, she wanted to go meet

Fletcher's cat, so they did that. They came around. Came around and watched a bit of the Santa parade from Fletcher's apartment. And then mum said, do you know what?

Whereabouts are the isolation hotels? Show us some of the isolation hotels. What? And so we did this. We found it. It's on the website. You can get a list of the isolation hotels.

You did like a star home tour. We did a managed isolation facility. Yeah. Tour. Like a Hollywood Hills tour of the stars in their homes. Yeah. Wow. Just like when you do that tour, you hope to see of the stars in their homes. Yeah. Wow. Just like when you do that tour, you hope to see one of them in the garden.

You're like, if you look closely, you might see them in the courtyard. We did. We did. We saw them behind that chain link fence. Yeah. There was a couple of them. You might see them staring out the window, wishing they weren't there. Yeah.

Oh, my God. My dad was like, I just can't believe how close these are to everything. I can't believe that. I was like, what, do you want like a leper colony set up in the middle of nowhere? And he's like, well, when you're quarantined back in the day, you think about all these islands around New Zealand called Quarantine Island. That's where they quarantine things. I was like, you've got a really good point, but there's like nothing on there.

Like people would be coming home and like living in a tent on Quarantine Island. Yeah, we did a little ticky tour of the quarantine facilities. And then they were like, oh, I wouldn't want to be stuck in that one. Or that one would be all right because it's got a good view. Well, yeah, because some of them are five stars. Yeah. Other than the others aren't. Yeah.

I said, I'm not driving you out to Jet Park. Mum's like, that's fine. We know where that is because that's where we used to stay when we went overseas. My parents used to stay there too. Is it because they'd drop them off and look after their car while they were gone? Probably. That's why my parents love a bit of Jet Park.

Probably had some free cornflakes too. Oh, yeah. Free shuttle to the airport. Yeah, free shuttle to the airport and your parking was paid. If you paid for a night on the way and a night on the way back, you got free parking while you're away. That's a boomer deal. They've got a marketing problem when this finishes.

They're going to have to rebrand. Mum said they'll need a new name. Mum thinks they'll need a new name, but at the same time they need people to realise they're still doing that shuttle service. Is that what she said, Ryan? Yeah, maybe Shuttle Park Hotel. Yeah. Could be a good one. But yeah, we did a little

sort of holiday tour of the quarantine isolation facilities. Because I guess they see them on the news all the time and hear about them, so they want to see where they are. Yeah. Okay. They want to sort of be able to physically locate them. Yeah.

Put a pin in the map of where they were. So I was wondering if anybody listening ever had anybody come on holiday with an unusual request of when they were staying with them? Maybe they wanted to go see something? Or they wanted to go see. Yeah. Yeah. Or they wanted to go see that you'd talked about

or that scene on the news or... Or what do they call it? Dark tourism where people go to weird, morbid places or like famous spots, infamous spots rather. Yeah, there could have been something much more cheery that they wanted to see, but no, the isolation hotels it was. We had a bit of a squizzard in America's Cup boat.

Oh yeah. They were like, oh yep. But they seemed to be, the thing they were most interested in or fascinated by was definitely the managed isolation facilities. Wow. Okay. So yeah, if you've ever had to play tour guide to somebody's unusual request, perhaps when they were on holiday

or staying with you. When we lived in Te Atatu, it was always the outrageous fortune house. Whereabouts is that outrageous fortune house? It's actually literally just down the road. Well, yeah, get there quick because aren't they tearing it down and making flats? Yeah.

We're talking about when maybe someone was staying at your place or visiting and they had an unusual request of something that was in your area that they wanted to go see. Yesterday I gave my parents a brief. We didn't go to every single one, but we drove past a few managed isolation facilities

just to see what they looked like. Yeah. I walk past them every day. It's just like hotels with fences in front of them. But it is weird when you see them. Yeah. It is weird when they first popped up. When I first saw them, I was like, oh, yeah.

And Dad's like, oh, I know that one. That one's that one that person escaped from. Jess, silly bastard. But then I can't imagine him in a managed isolation facility. Can you imagine a mild man can't sit still? Like yesterday, he was like, you've got to weed out in your paddock. And then I look out and he's out there pulling them all. And he's like, I found more.

Go get the trailer behind the ride on all my... We filled up this whole trailer worth of this weed. He's like, you don't want this getting away on you. Old mates, yeah. Just can't sit still. Cleaned out the gutters as well. It was like lightly drizzling with rain. And he's up cleaning out the garage gutters.

He's like, get down. You're going to kill yourself. He's like, oh, these need to be done before it rains. Rains all the time. But great. He cleaned your gutters up. I know you get down. You're going to kill yourself. He's like, oh, these need to be done before it rains. Rains all the time. But great. He cleaned your gutters up. I know. Yeah, great.

Very thankful. Very thankful. So we want to know, yeah, from you, if you played tour guide to some people when they were in. Somebody messaged in saying, my sister-in-law came and stayed. And she wanted us to drive her past the local Black Power pad that we talked about. Okay. And there's a gang who got us nearby and she really wanted to see what it was like. Show me what pad that we talked about. Okay. There's a gang

who got us nearby and she really wanted to see what it was like. Show me what it looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Big fences. Yeah.

Not like a managed isolation facility fence. No. Like a permanent big corrugated iron fence. Mum's a massive rugby fan so we had to go out to Southbridge

so she could touch the hollowed ground of Dan Carter's home field. She was tempted to take a divot from the try line but we managed to go out to Southbridge so she could touch the hollowed ground of Dan Carter's home field. She was tempted to take a divot from the try line but we managed to talk her out of that. Oh my god. A bit of the field. Mum's hardcore. Yeah. It's full on. What was

she going to do with the divot? Like plant it in her lawn? Lawn? Yeah. That's a bit of Dan Carter on the lawn. Dan Carter try line there. The Puruatanga Pinnacles. It's been a long time since Lord of the Rings, but everyone that comes is like,

yeah, it was quite a famous scene in Lord of the Rings. Aragorn and Legolas were walking through it, but I have to take everybody up there. You shouldn't ever have told them then. No. You can't tell people about these sorts of things and then be, not angry, but be upset when you are requested to take everybody up there. You shouldn't ever have told them then. No. You can't tell people about these sorts of things and then be, not angry, but be upset when you are requested to take them there.

I live in Winton and my friend came down and wanted to show us Minnie and wanted us to show her Minnie Dean's grave. Who's Minnie Dean? She was the only or last female hanged in New Zealand. She was murdered babies. She was not a good woman. And they wanted to go to her grave.

Well, it's quite like a famous New Zealand case. Right, okay. Yeah. She was the only woman to receive the death penalty in New Zealand. Yeah. Wow. First, last and only. Yeah, but somebody said in her defense,

it's about the only thing to do in winter. So it was going to be on the list of things I was going to show her anyway. Somebody said in Levin, there's the abandoned Kimberley Hospital. Mum had heard us talk about it and wanted to see it too. So we went. It's now sadly being turned into a retirement village. It was a beautiful old abandoned building. You know how old abandoned buildings are?

Yeah. Scary, but kind of cool. Yeah, so people were getting all sorts of requests. My husband's friend came up from Napier and wanted to go to the Bayfield Mall,

not to shop, but to go to the top level of the car park and go on an escalator. They don't have any escalators in Napier. Oh, please. That is the cutest.

Surely there would have been an escalator between. Does Blenheim been an escalator between Does Blenheim have an escalator? Yeah, like in a farmer's, right? Surely I feel like they didn't have traffic lights, eh? They don't have traffic lights, no But I'm pretty sure didn't they only just get an escalator like recently, Blenheim?

Or don't have one? New Zealand towns without escalators. Oh no, this is not giving me anything. Oh, I tell you, you could ask Schindler, though I couldn't use the people that do the lifts and the elevators. Yeah.

And the escalators. But they might not have chosen a Schindler lift. Yeah, because there's many different brands born of lifts. There's not many different brands of lifts. Who else does lifts?

Does anyone say them as K? Kone. K? Kone. K-O-N-E. Oh look, we could sit here all day and talk about lifts. We've got stuff to do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Just before we get too fact of the day, there has been a lot of correspondence regarding

escalators in towns. You may have wrongly, Vaughan, said Hastings doesn't have an escalator. No, they said Napier. Somebody messaged in saying that was where they were from. They went to Bayfair Mall to ride the escalator because Napier didn't have an escalator. Oh, right. Because Hannah, whereabouts are you in Hastings? Yeah, I'm in Hastings.

And to be honest, Napier's really far away from Hastings. It's like a whole 15 minutes. Hastings Farmers has an escalator. Yeah. It's really important that 15 minutes. Hastings Farmers has an escalator. Yeah. It's really important that you know this. Farmers always has an escalator. I feel like they're responsible for a lot of escalators. Yeah, the internal.

And you want to go down, but you're like, I'm on the wrong side, so you've got to walk all the way around. Yeah, you do. You do that on purpose. Yeah. We haven't had one for long. Oh, is it a new escalator? Yeah.

Was there an official opening? Yeah. Did the an official opening? Did the Prime Minister open that or something? I honestly don't know. Come on, come on. Come down to Hastings Farmers. We've got the moving stairs. The moving stairs you've been hearing so much about.

And apparently, thanks Hannah, apparently Blenheim does have its first escalator also. Does? At the working. At the club. At the Marlborough building. So like the working man's club. Okay. Oh, okay. There's first escalator also. Does it? At the working. At the club, at the Marlborough building. So like the working man's club. Okay. Oh, okay.

There's an escalator there. But obviously not free because a couple of text messages in from Blenheim saying, I can't think of a single escalator here, but they've obviously not been to the club. Well, that would be reason to get a membership for the club. Somebody said, I can't think of, we've got an escalator in Mars. We should do a definitive list of New Zealand towns without escalators. How good would that be? Put that on the show tomorrow.

Yeah. We're going to do a definitive list. Let's spend an hour. Let's start cheers on that content. Woo! Do you not like that, Anya?

What's wrong with that content? That's sexy content. One sleep to go, everyone. Till we find out what New Zealand towns don't have escalators. The fact that you hate this makes me want to do it

so much more. Like, I couldn't care either way if we makes me want to do it so much more. Like, I couldn't care either way if we did it. I think it's so great. But now, I mean, tomorrow. Yeah, but who's going to have to fact check these and end up calling people in small towns? That's the good thing about it. We'll make the wild claims.

Like, someone will message in and be like, oh, I live in Te Amutu. No escalators here. And then someone else will ring in and be like, bullshit. And then we get that. Riveting content. And then someone will hear it and be like, bullshit. And then we get that. Riveting content. And then someone will hear it and be like, well, we've got escalators, but we don't have a...

And then the next day, we can do a definitive list of New Zealand towns without arts. So Mountie at the social media desk, we're going to need some great social media content. Maybe I imagine a video of an escalator. Yeah. And then a, does your town have one?

Does your town not have one? I'll make up a graphic. Yeah, great. Yes, let's get some stats on the show tomorrow. Join us. Jazz, she sounds. Sit back.

For the definitive list of towns that do and don't have escalators. My husband helped install the Napier escalator. It was a pretty big bloody deal. Napier. So they do have one.

Well, maybe they meant Hastings because it is confusing for out-of-towners. For the non-Hawks Bayers. Yeah. It's easy to think it's one place but it's actually not.

Well, they merge merge don't they? What do they call that? I learnt the word in geography. Geography yeah when two towns. A metropolis or something plus.

A napiopolis. Two towns. Grow into one thing. This is meant to be fact of the day. Co-herbation? Con-herbation? No that's not it.

No that's what you play it's not it. It's time for... Fact of the Day! Day, day, day, day! Today's fact of the day is there is a direct correlation between the spread of COVID-19 and the increase of negative reviews of scented candles.

Oh, wow, because you lose your sense of smell. Yeah. A lot of people do with COVID. Wow. Yeah. Oh, my God. So, somebody, this is phenomenal graphing. I'm looking at a graph right now.

There's the top three scented candle reviews. This is from 2017 through 2020. Oh, my gosh. And you can see it. In 2020, the dip begins. Well, so it's actually like if you look at all the years of reviews, it's pretty much a flat line. Yes.

Until 2020. And it dips. However, these are the top five scented candles on Amazon reviews, including the lack of scent. And if you compare that to when American numbers for COVID are spiking, it relates to every spiking month. Wow. It's actually identical. Yeah.

That's crazy. So there could be a lot of community transmission of people just losing their scent and smell. Yep. Not knowing they've got COVID. Being fairly asymptomatic, but getting a scented candle and being like, that doesn't smell. Dear Amazon. Wow. I recently purchased a candle and it does not have scent.

The lack of scent was disturbing. That's nuts. That's insane. Yeah, and that's maybe how they found out. It'll be interesting to see if you could break that down more into like areas. But how would this be news to people that they don't have a sense of smell? Well, they don't, for the really low symptoms, lack of taste and losing your smell and your taste is the first thing. You can't, you just stop smelling things?

Yeah, but maybe if you just know other symptoms, you might not be aware of it. But when you buy a scented candle, what's the first thing you do? You take the top off and you go, Yeah. Oh, that's lovely. That does smell like French beer. But people don't know, so they're pulling the thing off, having a big whiff,

and immediately be like, Well, that doesn't smell at all. I'm going to review it immediately. And negatively, and go through and deliver a negative review. That's crazy. So today's fact of the day is there is a direct correlation and negatively and go through and deliver a negative review. So today's fact of the day is there is a direct correlation between the spread of COVID-19 and the increase of negative reviews

of Scented Candle citing lack of scent. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Fishy Tank. Season two. Backed by Photophone Business.

Fishy Tank season two. There's Shark Tank, the TV show. There's Dragon's Den, where people pitch their business ideas. Well, this is a little bit smaller. It's a fishy tank. But a huge prize this season, $5,000. It's all thanks to Vodafone Business. We've had so many entries for this,

and we're going to pick our last two pitches. We've picked our last two, and then tomorrow we're each going to announce a finalist. Oof. Tough competition. All right. So, let's meet our first contestant. First to enter the fishy tank is...

Alex, good morning. Kia ora there, team. How you doing? Good, mate. Good, good. All right. Now, we're going to give you 30 seconds to pitch your business idea to us. Your time starts now.

We love our candles and you will too. Who loves coconut? We love coconut. Only the best, pure, GMO free, vegan and sustainable coconut wax is used in all our candles. For bigger, better scent and longer burn time. Our candles smell amazing. For every candle sold, we donate $1 to help Tamariki and Aotearoa. Let's help the kids, people. Once you light our wax, you will relax. Follow us on Facebook now.

Wow. Perfect timing. You're like the people at the home show. You know, the people at the home show are always... I get so excited about candles. How long have you been doing this for, Alex? We've been making my wife and son now candles for about two months. We just started selling them a couple of weeks ago. Oh, wow.

That's a real family affair. And what's your full-time gig then? Full-time, I'm a police officer, believe it or not. Oh, wow. So I go to jobs that work, and then I come home and make candles. Yeah, you can be like, I know just the thing to clean up this crime scene. I've got a delicious coconut-scented candle. Yeah, that'll suit us.

But that would be cathartic after a rough day on the job, make some candles. Yeah. Yeah, I've never met anyone that doesn't like a candle apart from my mother-in-law, so yeah. She's not a fan then. Well, she still buys them and gives them as gifts. Right, but why doesn't she light them? I'm not really sure. I just keep asking her, but yeah.

Yeah, I gave mum a candle for Christmas. I don't think boomers like lighting the candles. No. It's not like a fire risk. My mum said you don't need to. If you put it where the sun hits the bench, the scent comes off quite lovely. All right, Alex, in the running for Fishy Tank Season 2.

Let's meet our next contestant. Casting a net in the Fishy Tank is... Taff, good morning. Hey, how's it going? Very good. Hey, guys, thanks for having us. No worries. Our pleasure.

Now, Taff, we're going to give you 30 seconds to pitch your business idea to us. Your time starts now. Hey, Pool Planet is New Zealand's first mobile pocket guide app for dog owners and it's completely free. We created this app to promote responsible dog ownership by listing all the off-leash parks, beaches, hikes and trails, with all the council rules and regulations. We support local dog businesses post-COVID by listing them on the app for a small fee to advertise to their target audience, purely based on distance. We promote local travel by listing dog-friendly cafes,

bars and accommodation, and we've just signed an online vet service for all your emergency, dietary and general requirements. Oh, wow. Perfectly 30 seconds as well. That was on 30 seconds. Bang on, bang on. That's a great idea because I always wonder about dog parks

and if dogs should be off the leash in certain areas. And you're like trying to find a different track or something. You're like, well, where do I find it? Yeah, exactly. Some beaches are like dogs in winter but not summer and during the seven hours. Yeah, the rules are constantly changing. So Chloe and I basically sat down during the lockdown period

and basically manually pinpointed everything ourselves. So that's the only way to do it. And so we cranked it out. It was a good excuse. Wow, that's so cool. So yeah, yeah, it was awesome. What a great idea. And what's your full-time job?

I'm a physiotherapist and Chloe works on insurance. Wow. And just in your spare time, you've made this app? Yeah, we cranked it out during the COVID lockdown and got our developers onto it and forked a fair bit of money out. We've got a wedding coming up next year, so there's a bit of allocation of funds in both areas. Wow. Okay, so how's a bit of allocation of funds in both areas. Wow.

Okay, so how do people find the app then? It's just on Google Play Store or your app store. Okay. So you've basically got, you can download it on either one and it's completely free. You just type in Poor Planet NZ and it should come up. And if you have any issues, just give us a yell and we've got our Facebook and Instagram pages and things,

so you can just give us a yell and we'll sort you out any issues, just give us a yell, and we've got our Facebook and Instagram pages and things, so you can just give us a yell, and we'll sort you out. Wow, brilliant. All right, well, Tav, you're our final pitch for Fishy Tanks Season 2, so good luck. We're going to announce our three finalists tomorrow on the show, all thanks to Vodafone Business and In The Running for that $5,000 grand prize. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Something happened. It started the other night, and and well, it might be over today if the hypothesis is correct. Because we got a couple of pigs. Well, how long have we had them now? Two weeks? And one of them's ginger. Yeah.

Little coony coony pigs. One of them's ginger and one of them's black and white. Now our cows are miniature Highland cattle. So they're ginger as well. Oh, okay. And they've always been quite taken with the ginger pig. Can they see colour? I don't know.

Are you Googling can cows see colour? Can cows see colour? So this also happens. Hermione, who is a female cow, Humphrey is our male cow, but he's been relieved of his testicles. Okay. So he's like a of his testicles. Okay. So he's like a weatherer or steer, is what you call him.

So he doesn't get like horned up and crazy like an ordinary bull does. Bulls get a little bit of bravado. So that's actually the way to sort out dudes that have got a bit of bravado as well. Just rather ring their bulls. Sure. Although it might be too late. So she goes into heat.

She goes on heat Yeah Hermione And she roars a bit more Just like Bellows and stuff However she Recently she's gone into heat The other night she went on heat

And she became like Fiercely protective of this pig Like wouldn't let anyone else near the pig Wouldn't let the pig go anywhere without her What? Because she thinks it's hers She might like have now that there's like a small thing that's

the same colour as her. And she's in this like super hormonal phase. She might think that the pig is hers. Even the other pig, the black and white pig was getting like nudged out of the way. Like get away. You get away. And just roaring.

Just crazy and like yeah so I had to separate them because the pig's so small. I was worried that nudged out of the way. Like, get away, you get away. And just roaring, just crazy. And like, yeah, so I had to separate them because the pigs are small. I was worried that she was going to get overprotective and smother the little piggy. So to answer your question, unlike human eyes, cows have only two colour receptors. They won't see all possible shades of yellow and blue,

especially as they lean towards the green spectrum. Oh, they must love grass. Yeah, that'll do it. But their world isn't totally made up of shades and blue, especially as they lean towards the green spectrum. Oh, they must love grass. Grass, yeah, that'll look good. But their world isn't totally made up of shades of grey, like other animals can be. Maybe it just looks the same as them in the shade of grey.

Yeah, so they're like, ooh. But then also, if you're a cow, can you see yourself? Your eyes are out, you can see like your side, right? Well, you'd never have a mirror, would you, if you're a cow? You can see your legs.

Yeah, I reckon they could probably see a bit of their nose too because it pokes out. I'd be interested to see what a cow could see. You ever think about a cow's field of vision? I never thought,

I remember hearing that birds like that bob their head are doing it to get like better 3D perspective of things when they bob their head and move. Right. It's so they can interpret things in 3D.

And if you're going to pat a cow, you're supposed to go in from the side because they can see you better than if you're coming front on. Oh, okay. But that's just the whole prey thing, right? Yeah. Because they've got to have... And their eyes, aren't they, on the side? Yeah.

Yeah. But so my dad was there. He was the one that speculated it might be the fact that she's on heat. And he's dealt with cows for a long time, being a dairy farmer. But he said that she should be cooled down today. Otherwise, I don't know. Just let them be lovers or something. But she doesn't want to be a lover.

Well, you can't stand in the way of love. She's being motherly, right? We don't know. Well, who knows? Who knows? They're animals. They're not us. They're not humans.

Because that pig is very small. Tiny pig. And she is not. No, she's not. She's small for a cow. Yeah. Because she's a miniature. But she's still far bigger than the pig.

Right. And this pig's just looking at me like, the pig looked at me and was like, she's crazy, man. You've got to help me. You've got to help me out here. Give me out. You've got a stage five clinger, bro.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree andch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast If you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts Head music lives here ZM