ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 31st March 2021

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

Yummy Yummy!  Top 6: Light Rail  When did you sell out your parents?  Hayleys Couch  Should I Feel Guilty?  Promiscuous Cats  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. Thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Macca's app. Are we actually going to talk about what we're going to talk about? No, absolutely not. Okay, we're not. I was going to say we've been delivered a box of Easter eggs this morning, which have already mostly been eaten.

And I said this morning, I was like, I'm feeling lethargic. I'm feeling a bit pudgier than usual. I need to reign it in with the brioches and the sweets at work. Now, what have we done? We arrive and a big box of Easter eggs turns up, and I've had five. And then we went and got a brioche.

Yeah. But now you feel good, though, right? I feel sweaty and a little bit stressed. That's good. That's how you feel at the end of a workout. So you've done a workout without having to do a workout. But I'm up. Do you know what I mean? I feel sweaty and a little bit stressed. That's good. That's how you feel at the end of a workout. So you've done a workout without having to do a workout. But I'm up. Do you know what I mean? I'm up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the crash is coming. The crash is coming. Yeah, so as soon as we finish this, I'm actually popping out to the gym. It's leg day, baby. So I hopefully don't crash

in the middle of that because that'll drop a very heavy weight on me. You're like the stock market in 86. Yeah, I am. And the crash is about to happen. It's coming. Any minute now.

And when your crash happens, shareholders are going to be throwing themselves out the window. Yeah, that'll be Aaron throwing himself out the window because I have to go home and I'll be a nightmare. You'll be a nightmare to deal with.

Walking and be like, why is it a mess? I love you. What is in the couch fit? Make love to me. Get away from me. Yes, that unpredictable nature. Slight tease there

for what's happening in the podcast today. Hayley's fat couch. Oh, my God. My fat couch. Just a reminder that you have to deal with your fat couch today. People are already hitting up my Instagram with suggestions of what to do with my fat couch. Someone said move the doorway.

Now this is a conversation that you'll be hearing more about. The doorway is a... You don't need permits to move a... Doorway. Nah, it's an internal wall. As long as it's not load bearing And it won't be Because it's got a doorway Halfway through it

Yeah That sounds like a project Also any man Grew Grove from Nova Also you can take the door off Why do you need a door It's a sliding door So it's not about the space

Oh okay right It's a slider But it just kind of blocks it It's more It's like you slide the door You come and then you've got to Sort of divert around the couch Oh right Well more Rihaley's Fat Couch is coming up in the podcast

Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleeche Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul That was a frantic little preparation before we came on We were all screaming I was not screaming for once That was a frantic little preparation before we came on. We're all screaming. I was not screaming for once. Yeah, you've softened. I was quite mellow about it all. You exploded yesterday, though.

I did. You're going to give Executive Intern Anja a heart attack at this rate? Oh, come now. That's the first time that you've screamed in this week. Do you know what's happening on the top six, Vaughn? Yes. Okay. What is it?

Well, we're getting a little bit of charades here. Running. The light rail announcement. What was light rail? I wanted to make her put herself up for more tomfoolery. I wanted to see Executive Internania act out light rail but me play dumb

to the clues she was giving me. Light. Oh no, that was actually really good. Light. No, it's not good.

You're melding the words. Oh, is that why it's good? Because I'm a phenomenal lip reader. We're expecting a light rail announcement today.

Okay. Auckland to the airport. Yeah, you know that place where everybody's like just going in their droves at the moment? Absolutely. No. Probably the time to do it then. Yeah, maybe. Probably the time to get it done.

As long as it's not, I don't want a slow train to the airport. No, I want a... Unless you can have a fast one. A bullet train. Don't bother. Waste of money if it's not fast. How stressful to be on a slow train when you're about to miss your flight. I know. Or like

a tram that's stopping every 10 minutes to drop someone home on the way to work. Just yelling at everyone on the platform Get on! So what you want is an express bullet train from your house to the airport. Absolutely. I don't know if you hear yourself.

That sounds a little selfish. To be fair, it would be close to your house. It is, yeah. Yeah. So what would it City Rail loop at? They can't go too fast on the City Rail loop. Anyway, top six coming up. Yeah, something blah, blah, blah, light rail.

Yeah. There we go. We got there. ZMT Tank, it's your chance to win free fuel this morning. Seven o'clock. We'll do this at eight o'clock. Couple of days away from the long weekend,

Easter weekend. Very exciting. Friday off for most people. What are you going to do for your day off? Sleep. Sleep in. Yeah.

Sleep in. I'm going to, I'm going to work out and eat healthy. Something we've all said we're going to do this week, but now a big box of Cadbury Easter eggs has turned up this morning.

I've already had one. Yeah. It's 6.04 in the morning. So you've been derailed already. Speaking of derailed, coming up in the top six. Something, something, light rail. Perfect.

Which I hope does not get derailed. Imagine that catastrophe. Yeah. Next on the show. Imagine that catastrophe. Yeah. Next on the show. A master of the craft. This is a beautiful thing to watch. Next on the show, Yummy Yummy. It's our segment where we take a look at new food flavours and trends.

Yeah, and this one we're doing at 607.5 because it's a little R-rated. Yeah, very naughty. I've never understood flavoured condoms. I'll admit that right at the outset of this. I'm just not sure, and I don't know how to say this on live radio. I'm not sure who it's for. Who is it serving?

Nobody. I don't know. I don't know. Nobody. Like banana, chocolate. Yeah. No, no, strawberry. No.

Well. Don't bother. Don't bother. Buckle up because there is a new flavoured condom from Indonesian condom brand Fiesta. Okay. And it is Miga Ring Noodles. Discover the sensation of lovemaking with the distinct taste of Indonesia.

So, do you mean the classic Mie Garing noodles? The, like, packet, $1? Wait, do you have to mix both flavour sachets? Are they the ones with two flavour sachets? Do you pop it on and then open the sachet and sprinkle it on top? And then put the chilli? Yeah, yeah, mix the chilli and mix it around a little bit.

Oh, the chilli's not for everybody, that's why it comes in a separate pack. Yeah, right. Wow. Who asked for this? Nobody. So... It just feels a bit savoury for me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Flavour condoms are typically your smoothie flavours.

Your milkshake flavours. You've got your limes. It's dessert, isn't it? It's pudding. It's pudding. It's not the mains. It's a little sweet snack. It's an aperitif, you know. Yeah.

It's just like a tawny port. Not even a tawny port condom would do it. So the Fiesta's website lists these other flavoured condoms. So this isn't their first foray Okay Or foray Foray into I'm not sure how that word's said

Give it both options Into flavoured condoms They've got the durian That fruit they won't let you eat on public transport Because the smell is so manky Oh yeah In South East Asia What do they call it? Stinky fruit or whatever

Stinky I've whatever. Stinky. I've got those stinky trees by my place. Oh, damn. What are those? Because they're blooming at the moment. I've got one. They're hideous. Let's talk about them.

You and I regularly talk about this. Yeah, the fruit falls on the ground. It's a berry. It's inedible and it rots and it absolutely stinks. Ginkgos. Ginkgos, Ginkgo trees. Yeah, yuck. But they look pretty, eh?

That's why the people like them. Oh, they're beautiful and great for shade and shelter. Eaten by dinosaurs. One of the last surviving trees from the dinosaur period. It was isolated in one small valley in China, but now spread throughout the world. That's a little side ginkgo tree fact of the day for you. But VS's official website lists durian, an energy drink,

but it's the colours of Red Bull. Okay. And then there's iced coffee, mega ring, and spicy simol. C-I-M-O-L. I don't know what that is, but again, that's spicy, and we've been talking about whether or not spice belongs in that. Oh. A spicy simole is like a deep fried cheese ball.

Oh, okay. Yum. I'm on board now. I don't know if I want a cheese-flavored condom, to be fair. No. Yuck. I don't want a cheese ball flavored anything that close to the actual be fair. No. I want a cheese ball flavoured anything that close to the actual balls.

People are obviously buying these as a joke, right? This is novelty, right? Or do they do usual normal ones? Apparently they sold out really quickly. I don't know. I wouldn't... A novelty condom, I was like, have they put too much time into the flavouring

and not the safety of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to end up with a baby because I tried a meagering condom. That's very true. Mummy, when did you and I don't want to end up with a baby because I tried a meagre ring condom. That's very true. Mummy, when did you and Daddy decide you wanted to have meagre ring? Meagre ring, shush! We didn't want you then and we don't want you now.

Stop with your insistent questions and don't ask why you call meagre ring ever again. We've got some sad news. Okay. French bulldogs, pugs, boxers, you know, any sort of flat-faced dog. The cute ones. The cute ones. No.

Well, French bulldogs anyway. No. The ones that look like they've run into a wall at pace. Far more. That's a more fitting description. Volvettes are now warning sort of against them because they're going blind. Now, I feel like for a long time we've talked about the fact that, you know, pugs have a difficult time breathing.

Yeah. Because we've bred them a certain way, which is a bit unnatural. And they have difficulty breathing because they're all... Smushed face. A bit like me this morning with my allergies. What has triggered your allergies? You think it's food? That's incredibly attractive

It's all in my ears But now So yeah We knew about the breathing issues With dogs like this But now apparently They're going blind Because they can't

Blink their eyes properly Yeah It's pretty sad I mean It's our fault They're so inbred At this point That we've been inbreeding them

to create these pedigree, you know, fancy dogs. It's totally changed the shape of some of the dogs. It's totally mutated the way that they're supposed to look. Now their eyes bulge out from their heads so much. You know, we see the real like googly ones. Yeah, the pugs. So they can't actually close their eyelids over them. That's bad. And they're not blinking and going blind. Imagine having such googly ones. Yeah, the pugs. So they can't actually close their eyelids over them. That's bad. And they're not blinking and going blind.

Imagine having such googly eyes. Your eyelids were like... Oh my god, the eyelids didn't meet. That's horrible. Why are we still inbreeding them? People think I'm mean to French Bulldogs because I don't buy into being all like oogly

googly over French bulldogs and pugs and stuff but I'm not angry at the dog I'm angry at what humans have done to them yeah right and I'm

and then when people are like I bought this for this many thousands of dollars I'm like no because you're only making it worse yeah I'm probably

guilty of that with my cat too being a purebred British cat yeah I've got a real moggy yeah they live forever too Yeah, I'm probably guilty of that with my cat too, being a purebred cat. I've got a real moggy. Yeah. Yeah. They live forever too.

Oh, yeah, the old bloody $5 tabbies. Oh, yeah. From the pet store. The old pick it up. The old abandoned on the side of the road. Pick it up, get it for free. Somebody called the vets because they found it in a sack. Yeah, they just go forever.

They go forever, mate. Yeah, I know. Money runs forever. But they're saying that shih tzus and French bulldogs are the worst for this new eye thing that's happening with them. Which ones are the shih tzus? There we go. Hold on I'm looking at one now. Oh yeah.

Yeah they're ponytails and stuff. Okay. Well they're not saying how we can sort of fix this. Well I guess you don't buy them. You just gotta stop buying them. But then if lockdown showed us anything, it's that prices for crossbreeds and purebreds have gone through the roof.

Oh, yeah. Just dogs on a hole. Fancy companion. Yeah, everybody's spending money on cats and dogs. I feel like pug owners and French Bulldog owners are gonna hate me for this this morning. No, but God, French Bulldogs. They need to look in the mirror.

No, they need to look into their dog's eyes. That'll be easy because the dog can't blink. There's a new study that's been done and it's great news if you don't work too many hours

is the longer you work, the more likely you are to be stressed for a larger portion of your day which can be

directly related to ill effects on your health. Well, that makes sense, doesn't it? Heart attacks being one of the main ones. Yeah. Yeah. So what's the outcome of the study? Don't work.

Don't work too hard, man. Okay. Just take it easy. Don't work too long. Yeah. And don't work too hard. That's not an option for a lot of people. Yeah, it's a bit of a catch-22 because if you decide, okay, I'm going to pull back on the work,

I'm going to take a smaller job, I'm going to allow myself some more free time, then that stress, the work stress, gets replaced with financial stress. Well, you can work longer hours at a less stressful job. Yeah, right, okay. One of those jobs You can just hide In an office cubicle

Oh okay And do nothing I always feel like People leave offices And go like I want to be a dock worker Yeah I want to be outside

But then you've got to get All the dead possums Out of those traps You see when you're hiking Oh it's not all glamorous No it's not But that's not stressful Well it would be for me

Oh why would it be stressful I don't know I don't want to pick up A dead possum Only the first couple of times Well then you'd be right as. Oh, why would it be stressful? I don't know. I don't want to pick up a dead possum. Oh, only the first couple of times. Then you'd be right as rain. Do you get dock gloves? Yeah, you get dock gloves and you just take them out

and you throw them into the bush. I don't think they tend to go barehanded. You don't have to carry the dead possums out. Okay, good. You don't tow a wheelie bin down one of the Great Walks, stopping at every triangle nailed into a tree and empty the trap and then put it in your wheelie bin And carry on

That would be a nice An outdoor job though It'd be good Good fun And getting to work with animals And in our native bushes It'd be bloody beautiful When you mean working with animals

You mean shooting the goats right? Shooting the goats Shooting the possums Cuddling the kiwi Yeah Skinning them Yep Making the possums

Not the kiwi A goat coat No no you don't skin kiwi. You'd be in big trouble if you did that. You shouldn't be working for Doc. If you're just skinning everything you come across. Right. So, less hours.

A thousand people. This is a Canadian university. Yep. They found a thousand people under 60 who had heart attacks. A thousand people under 60 who had heart attacks and then followed them as they returned to work. After six years, 21% of people had suffered another heart attack. I was going to say, had any of them died?

Did any of them die? Yes. Wow. Far out. On the second heart attack, yes. Working longer hours. So these people are under 60. They've had a heart attack.

Yet they'll go back to work that's 55 or more hours a week. Holy. And they are twice as likely to suffer from a second heart attack. And most were men. Wow. Who, even in Canada, it turns out, think they're above the general limits of your body's healthiness. Yeah. But then you also wonder if they had no choice but to work like 55 hours a week.

That's too many hours a week. What about this four-day work week? That could be a way to sort of force it without you having to actually go, oh, I'm going to do less hours.

Spain are trialling this, aren't they? I was going to say, was it Spain? Yeah, it's kind of like an idea to merge COVID relief money. Are we working to live

or living to work? Yeah. You know what I mean? But then they all bloody have a siesta in the afternoon. If you've been to Spain, they shut down, don't they, for an hour in the afternoon. They claim it's because it's too hot, but they just get

knackered. Just have a little sleep. Absolutely. Norway, Denmark, Germany and the Netherlands, on average, the average worker works 27 hours a week. And they're the happiest countries in the world. Yeah. Come on.

Jacinda. Call up your mate Jacinda and let's get a four-day work week. If it was a four-day, would you take Friday or Monday? Off. I would go Monday. I'll go Monday. Because Fridays, oh yes, you finish your work day on a bit of a fuss. But then Thursdays could be big. Thursdays would be the new fridays if you took fridays but sundays would be the new

saturdays you get two saturdays yeah that's true okay or would you go monday tuesday no wednesday get all your admin done yeah oh but again because everyone's working but you'd also have to sync up with your friends because you don't want all your friends working on a Monday and you've got Monday off. What, are your friends going to jump off a bridge? You're going to jump off the bridge too, are you? Yeah, absolutely. How about some individuality?

I don't want to see people on my day off. That's my day. You've got two common days off that you can spend with them. This day should be about you. You. Yeah. Get to know yourself. You're spreading yourself too thin.

Right. That's what everybody always says about Fletch. Famously, too busy thinking of other people. He's not selfish, not at all. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

Light Rail has gone to cabinet, and this is from yesterday, and an has gone to cabinet. And this is from yesterday. And an announcement is expected today. So this will be for just Auckland? Yes, at this stage, yes. From the CBD to the airport. But it's not just like just for the airport. Right.

But those are the two ends. Right. Is it going places it's never been before? Yes. Like in terms of it already goes out south, east, west. Because I'm telling you now, I'm not sitting on a bloody clickety-clack. Oh, you're very anti. You're anti the clickety-clack.

Just for the clickety-trickety tram two hours to the airport. There's no one that's going to be doing that. I like it. Yeah, I like a gentle, casual ride on a train. I don't often catch the train, but every time I do, I'm like, I should take the train more. This is fun. But not fun, yeah, if your flight's departing in 45 minutes.

Yeah, no. But I think it's more for the people that live out in the suburbs anyway. The burbios. Yeah. That's a terrible train noise. It's not so terrible. You just sound like a white person trying to beatbox on the street. That's what I was taking it from.

To get some money. Well, it was, Labour said that this was in 2017 in the election that that was going to be part of their policy. But then remember, New Zealand First were like, Winnie didn't like the trains, no, the light rail. So anyway, it's back. I got the top six things we need from a light rail announcement. Okay.

Okay, so number six. We need an announcement that there's going to be cute trains. What's a cute train? A cute train. Are they going to be like the Melbourne ones? Like the trams. Yeah. But then they have the real nice looking sleek trams.

That's light rail, right? Yeah. Because they're on rails. Because heavy rail is like the big chugga chuggas you see, the big diesel guzzlers like they say, Kiwi rail! Down the side that you see when you're in the country. And the big plume of black smoke comes out of the diesel engine.

Yeah, love it. Beautiful. And then when you see a really long one, you're like, man, this is a long one. Yeah. It's always important to say, man, it's a long one. If it's got any more than like 10 carriages behind this is a long one yeah it's always important to say man it's a long one if it's got any more than like 10 carriages

behind it and then you think it's finished but it's just a couple of flat decks with nothing on them still going it's still going

chugga chugga some runaway lads off on an adventure oh yeah I've always wanted to put a big giant artistic looking piece of sushi

on one of those flat bits of train just say it's a sushi you should be an artist I was like I'm not keeping up with how we got here. You could totally do that. Yeah.

But you make it out of polystyrene. Yeah, like an art installation. Yes, how cool would that be? That would be so cool if they had art all on the trains. See, I could come up with these ideas, but I can't do them. You're an ideas man. I'm an ideas man. I'm not an artistic person.

Right. So someone do that. Someone? Or ideas man. I'm an ideas man. I'm not an artistic person. Right. So someone do that. Someone? Or Photoshop it. Do that, yeah. Photoshop it. There you go. That's a good idea.

Number five on the list of the top six things we need from a light rail announcement. Cute maps. Okay, yeah. You know sometimes you get on a train and it'll have like a map of the route it takes? Those need to be cute, okay? Those need to be like real cute. How would you cutify them? Would it be like a color thing?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like, it doesn't matter if it's like not to scale exactly, but it needs to be cute. Yeah. Okay. It needs to be cute.

Okay. Lots of dots and lines. Cute colors. Number four on the list of the top six things we need from a light rail announcement. Cute train conductors. Okay. Is everything about this cute? Well, cute sells.

Right. Okay. If you want people to use this light rail that's going to cost the right pay as a fortune, it better be bloody cute. Okay. Yeah. So what kind of cute? You mean cute as in like, he's cute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, he's so cute. So like, oh my God, he's cute. Like, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, he's so cute. Both. So like, oh my god, he's cute, like hot guy. Yep. Or gal. Yep. Whatever. And then they're, oh my god, cute, like old man. Because he's got his socks pulled up and those little

bus driver shorty shorts. And he's like, tweet, all aboard! And you're like, oh my god, cute. Yeah, oh my god, you're so cute. Yeah. Okay. Number three on the list of the top six things we need

from a light rail announcement. Cute swipe cards or key tags to like hop on, hop off. Agree. Like, because sometimes they're a bit ugly. Yeah. I know. They'll just look like the bus cards, won't they? Yeah.

The AT. Yeah. Blah. Blah. Yeah. You should be able to like get your own design. Okay. And so then it can be like cute to the individual. Yeah. The AT. The blue AT. You should be able to get your own design. And so it can be cute to the individual. Yeah.

And you maybe pay a little extra for a Diamante card. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't know how that would fit into the swipe machine, but that's not my issue. I'm an ideas woman. Yeah, yeah. Someone else do it. That's totally right.

Number two on the list of the top six things we need from a light rail announcement, cute backdrops for selfies on the train. Because that will get Number two on the list of the top six things we need from a light rail announcement, cute backdrops for selfies on the train. Because that will get more people on the train. Yes. Because there's grabbable content. We'll just put ring lights in. LED ring lights. So what about like a carriage that's just

all indoor plants? Yes. That's cute. That's a cute backdrop. Another carriage that's like fairy lights. Green wall. Boom. Boom. One that's like lollies. One that's like fairy lights. Green wall. Boom, boom. One that's like lollies. One that's like bottomless brunch. Yes. You know what I mean?

Mimosa carriage. Yeah. Great, yeah. That's cute. Yep. See, these are all great ideas. And number one on the list of the top six things we need from the light rail announcement, it needs to be monorail.

Because of that Simpsons episode? The only reason. We can all sing the monorail. Because of that Simpsons episode? The only reason. We can all sing the monorail song. Yeah. How does the monorail song go again? He's like, what if the track should bend? Not a chance, my Hindu friend.

The main street is all cracked and broken. Sorry, mum, the proud has spoken. You know more than I thought you would. Phenomenal episode of The Simpsons. One of the best ones. He's like kind of like a barbershoppy guy. Yeah, yeah. He's like a shifty snake oil salesman. Yeah. So that is

today's top six. The podcast. Now everyone, with COVID, the vaccine being out, everyone's getting out and partying. Having a good time. And this party here in Byron Bay in Australia, it was a hen's do. Because, you know, you can do it.

We're all right with COVID at the moment. We'll have a hen's do. And they ordered an entertainer, shall we say. Okay, a male entertainer. A male entertainer who takes his clothes off. Okay. A stripper. This stripper travelled from Queensland to Byron Bay

to shake his goods at the party. And then he came back to Queensland and then went to an aged care facility, maybe to tell Nana how it went. Give Nana an update, give her a demo of how he did it. And he spread COVID everywhere. So Queensland, so 10 hours ago,

a report here that Queensland has eight new local cases. Yeah, there's two separate clusters and this guy is, wow, who knows where he got it from, but this guy is linked to it. So there was a nurse in attendance at the Hemsdo. And then she's infected someone else at a

hospital. He's come home, taken it to the aged care facility. So he's a tradie. Tradie by day. So was he at the aged care either visiting or working? Working maybe. I don't know. Yeah.

Oh, wow. And so Byron Bay's in New South Wales as well. Yeah. So you cross over the border there just by the road. So he must be blimmin' good if he's travelling from Queensland to New South Wales to Byron Bay. Well, I don't think the Byron Bay stripper scene's probably... Pumping at the moment.

The hens, I don't know how easy it would be to get a hens. It's a small town. Well, I don't think the Byron Bay stripper scene is probably... Pumping at the moment. The hens, I don't know how easy it would be to get a hens because it's a small town. Yeah, it is. But Byron Bay is a pretty beachy place. You know, it's very...

Yeah, but it's a Chris Hemsworth. Some hot local surfer. No, Chris Hemsworth has to run them all out of town because he looks too good. But yeah, it's the stripper cluster, the hens do cluster.

Isn't it just your worst nightmare to be in a cluster? And to think that just you going about your everyday life, you spread it. And just, I mean, obviously it's a little funny because it's, you know, a hen's night and a stripper. I know, but there's no shame about it. There's no shame at all.

Everyone has hen's parties. Exactly. Everyone has their own work that they do. Yeah. But it is a little funny that it's linked to, because, I mean, there's, they all, I've never been to a hems do with a stripper. I've actually never had one of those like private strippers before. I prefer them just sort of anonymously at mass.

Yeah. But, you know, they get all, they get all close. They might give you the bride a little lap dance or something and rub your COVID body all up and down the furniture. It's certainly not a two metre distance, is it? It's not a bubble. It's certainly not. You wouldn't hope it was. You're paying for it not to be a two metre distance. But it's just what they call

your cluster too. The stripper cluster or the hen's night cluster. Yeah, wean clusters. Imagine if you went to a series of bakeries and they called you the fatty boomsticks cluster. The, yeah. The bakery cluster. The sausage roll cluster.

You'd be like, oh, no. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Spells, ZMD Tank. Well, it's time to give away some free fuel. The long weekend, Easter, is nearly upon us. The long weekend group two is tomorrow at 8 o'clock. We've got like today and tomorrow

if you've got the weekend off. There's a couple of days of work left. It's like half a day of work left. Maddie, good morning. Hi, how are you going? Do you have plans for the long weekend? Yeah, I'm going to the Coromandel. Oh, lovely spot.

You're going to be crawling through traffic, Mo. Oh, why bring it down? Yeah, you'll be chewing through the gas. I just want to, you know, take some, yeah, chewing through the gas. Going to take some snacks. Yep. All right, well, let's see if we can give you some cash. Fill up that car, Maddie.

Now, this is how it works. You are on our imaginary forecourt. The dollar amount will continue and increase, but the car behind you at some stage will toot. And lose their cool. And lose their cool. And that is when you lose the money, unless you say stop before that moment.

Now, we gave away hundreds of dollars yesterday. And it's exhilarating. And it could happen at any time. Maddie, are you ready? Yeah. Alright. $5. $10. $30. $65. $135. $155 $155 $180

$200 $205 $230 Stop. Oh, Matty. I thought you'd gone. There was no noise from Maddie whatsoever during that entire thing. I was like, are you still there?

So, Maddie, you've locked that in. $230. Do you want to see how high it would have gone? Okay. All right, let's keep going. That was literally the end It was the maximum Oh my god

You won that by like a split second Maddie Yay I love this Hey Willa, $230 towards your Coromandel long weekend Enjoy Asa Maddie, congratulations And we're going to play Thank you so much We're going to play Zed Empty Tank again at 8 o'clock this morning.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. There's a story on the news last night about a driving simulator in the South Island going around high schools. Okay. It's like virtual reality headset and you sit in like a driving seat and it's just like you're driving around and there's distractions like the phone rings on your passenger seat

and if you look to it, that's it. Game over. You crash. And then if you like hit an old lady on the footpath, you get 100 points and you collect a gold bag. Yeah, not quite. Not quite like that. Unless she's one of the terrorists. Okay, yeah. Unless she's a terrorist old lady. So what you're saying is it's like Grand Theft Auto with a VR headset.

Yes, but with also no answering phones or looking at phones. Okay, right. So it's going on on the news last night. There's a girl driving. She looks at the phone. I'm guessing she did it as an example of what happens when you look at the phone. Then the crash, the smash. And then they start talking to kids about

using phones while driving and this happens. My mum goes on her phone but she always is quick to tell me not to go online. That child face showing full name down the bottom

says, yeah, my mum's always on her phone while she's driving. Ratted her out on the biggest news channel in New Zealand. Oh, my gosh. One of the most watched shows weekly on the television. Absolutely sold out. Blood is thicker than water. She's forgotten that. You never abandon your family like that.

Well, when she's looking in the mirror and she sees blood coming from her nose because her mum popped her right in the face for ratting her out to the police. See? Yeah. She's going police. See? Yeah. She's gonna... Yeah, she, father and I are on our phones, she.

And now the fathers are gonna be trying to bust us for driving off driving off our Model T Ford. But that's like, that's a fine.

That's a ticket. 100%. Oh yeah. It's breaking the law. Oh, my daughter's gonna be on the news tonight. Probably on Facebook. Yes. Look out for on Facebook. Yes.

Look out for my baby. Yeah, one news came to Sophia's school today. She said they recorded her. She's going to be on there. All the friends and family are watching. And Sophia's like, my mum's a hypocrite. My mum's a driver and a texter. That's bad.

Do you know when I see people doing it now, maybe I'm going to cause more damage. But if I see someone, you know, slowly looking down at their phone and causing an absolute traffic jam, I just toot. Toot, toot. Bring their attention. Yeah, bring their attention. And they might look at me and I'll be like, get off your phone.

You've never driven with Lorne before. No, I haven't. Oh, once. Are you on his phone? He was passenger. Oh, okay. Well, he haven't. Oh, once. Was he on his phone? He was passenger. Oh, okay. He's always on his phone driving. That's bad! And then he was in my phone driving.

What are you saying? I'm a Sophie 2.0 here. Bitch, come here. No, I'm better because I've got one of those things, like I'm an Uber driver. You've seen my Uber holder. I'm an Uber holder now. You're an Uber holder. I'm an Uber holder now. You're an Uber holder.

So I can like get a return. I put it in, put the maps on, get a podcast going, and I don't need to touch it. And now people are getting into his car and into his Honda Accord because they think it's a Civic. What have you got again? It's a Honda Accord. Yeah, because they think you're an Uber.

Yeah. But that's, I was getting some pretty good marks there. It's because I've got the lollies in the back. Highly rated. Yeah. You've got the hand sanitiser and the breath mints. We want to know, following from, I'm going to keep calling her Sophia, even though I can't remember what her name was.

It wasn't Sophia. It's all right. Sold out her mum on national telly. It doesn't have to be a national telly, but we want to know when you sold your parents out. Maybe it was to friends' parents you revealed a family secret. Yes. Yeah, or maybe you're one of those kids who, you know, they're like,

draw a picture of your mum and dad and it was your mum with like two glasses of wine. Yes, my mum loves wine. Yeah, exactly. Are we taking stories the other way around? Because surely as a parent of young kids, you'd get this all the time, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids totally do. Like you lie about how old your kid is'd get this all the time, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids totally do. Like, you lie about how old your kid is to get them into a cheaper movie,

and they say, oh, no, I'm actually 16. Yeah. Well, that happened the week we went to the QMU show, and the guy at the gate said to August, are you a preschooler? And she looked at me and she said, do I tell him, like, how old I am, or do I say four? I was like, well, you don't say that right in front of him,

that's for sure. So I guess you tell him how old you are now. Yeah, yeah. We're talking about when you sold your parents out as a kid or maybe you're a parent

who's been sold out by your child. Last night on the news, a young lady said this. My mum goes on her phone but she always is quick to tell me not to go online.

And she means when driving. Yes. So we want to know when you sold out a parent. Whether it was accidentally or... And welcome to the show, primary school teachers. Oh, yeah. Who are telling us all the stories of when kids have sold out adults. Oh, wow.

In their lives. This is so good. All right, let's start with Tim. Tim, your son ratted you and the wife out. He did. So he's about six years old and we're in a family gathering. So everybody's around. And he just blurts out, you know what my mum and dad do in bed?

And of course, everyone goes silent and everyone looks around at each other awkwardly and he goes, they do big farts. Oh, yeah. That could have been a lot worse, Tim. That could have been. Oh, you would have felt the room just going. Yeah, just...

Oh, here we go. Hey, thanks you called, Tim. Morgan, you were sold out by a kid? No, I sold my mum out. Oh, no. I was about six years old and we were in prayer circle at school and my teacher asked me to pray for something. And I was like, oh, I need to pray for my mum

because she had too many wines last night. Yes. So when the wines last night. Yes. To win the Lord's word. A beautiful direction to send your prayers, to be honest. Yeah, that's nice. She needed it. She had to get it. I don't like when people say I'll pray for you,

but if they were praying for my hangover to go away, I'm for it. I'll take anything at that point. Yeah, exactly. Two panadol, a powerade and a prayer. The three Ps of hangover. Panadol, Powerade and a little power of prayer. Somebody said, oh, yeah, well, no, not that. Thanks, you call Morgan.

Somebody said it wasn't me throwing, but once a boy in my class threw his dad under the bus because we were talking about like arts and crafts and he said his dad rolls up little green balls and squashes them on the stove with hot knives. Oh, my God, that's brilliant. Who's doing spots on the stove in front of their kids? But I've got no problem with people.

I voted yes. I voted yes. I voted yes. I've got no problem doing it. But no, I won't tell you who I voted for. Politics aside yes. I voted yes. I got no problem doing it. But no, there's just spots. Politics aside. Politics aside. Politics aside.

Who is warming up the bone-handled cutlery on their coils to do spots off a stove in front of a kid? It's a full-on method of intake, isn't it? Yeah. And generally a two-person job unless you're happy to hold the bottle in your mouth while you go. Also, we've gone past those stoves now.

Have you not? Oh yeah, I've got some induction noves though. God, they heat up so quickly. Oh, like the coils. Yeah, yeah. It's not impossible. Where there's a will, there's a way. I took my nephew to the supermarket and he needed to use the bathroom so I politely

asked the staff member if we could use one and they said, yeah, yeah, come on. And there's one out the back. We walked past the wine rack and my nephew to the supermarket and he needed to use the bathroom, so I politely asked the staff member if we could use one, and they said, yeah, yeah, come on, and there's one out the back. We walked past the wine rack, and my nephew said, my auntie would love this rack. She loves wine. I had a young student tell me and the whole class, when they stood up to do news, that the police were at his house yesterday

and they took away mum's houseplants. Oh, dear. God, your teachers would hear some stuff. They would. You would. Absolutely. All the goss. I went to a doctor's appointment

and my dad went to a doctor's appointment. Sorry, I went along with my dad and his doctor said, how many alcoholic drinks would you have a week? And when my dad went to a doctor's appointment, sorry, I went along with my dad, and his doctor said, how many alcoholic drinks would you have a week? Oh, no. The standard, you know, they allow for like one a night. And dad said, oh, probably five alcoholic drinks a week. And I pitched in as a kid being like, oh, he has probably that a night actually, not a week.

Oh, no. He drinks loads more than that. Oh dear. I always avoid that question like the plague. How many? Well, it depends on the week. I've been particularly social at the moment. It's tough, tough, tough times. So what would you say you're doing weekly?

Two, three bottles of spirits. All right, 7.22. Next on the show, Shopping Local. Oh, yes. Shopping Local. We're all about it. Support the locals. But turns out there could be something in it for you as well.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Shopping Local. It's something that we've been hearing a lot about over the last year, particularly with our local businesses being closed for so long over lockdown. People are like, when they're open again, shop local. Well, turns out it's not only good for the shops and the store owners or the manufacturers or the local whoever's, it can be good for the consumers as well.

So not only do you get a lovely New Zealand-made, handcrafted macrame plant hanger, but you also are doing something for your own mental health. A doctor, Dr. Angela Lim, she runs an online mental health service. She says that shopping local gives people a greater sense of community and a feeling that they are able to make a difference

in the face of the widespread uncertainty we're all facing right now. Yeah, right. It's a bit like a little pat on the back, you know, you have a little, look at me. Because have you guys gone out for dinners or just gone out and got really boozed

and you thought, I'm really helping this local? Absolutely. Like you use it to justify the fact that you're shit-faced and you're having a good night out with your friends. To the hospitality industry! Basically, right.

I should have takeaways tonight. You really shouldn't. I should help out the local hospitality industry. Do you know who was really hit during COVID? Wineries. Yeah. New Zealand wineries. Yeah.

And I'm happy to support local there. Yeah. So that's a good thing, isn't it? So that's not just... So you just get a warm fuzzy.'t it so that's not just um so you just get a warm fuzzy it's not that you exactly it's not that you need a something in return for shopping local or supporting local uh but it is a little buzzy feeling about being like yeah i'm supporting my supporting my country and my people and we're all a team of five million we've been

through this together but you've also got a lot of packages coming from overseas. You're just telling us you've got a package. I ordered something that I thought was coming from Australia. Here's its route. Dublin, East Midlands, London, Ontario, Canada, Cincinnati, USA, then to Los Angeles. Then it's been, oh my gosh. Then it's been in Auckland. And then it says for some reason

Los Angeles maybe there's two coming Cincinnati then we're back in Auckland where it's been for seven days now and look at the stress

you're going through right now on a note saying shipment on hold and this is just so I can find out my ancestry this is a tube that they want me to

spit in and send it back it's got to go all that way again could you have supported a local ancestry is there one? I don't know if there is actually would someone analyse my spit locally so they can tell me how I might set an local ancestry thing but you spit in the tube

and send me a photo of yourself and I look at it and I'm like white you are 90% white, 10% unknown. Because Vaughn and I have done this. We've done the ancestry spit test thing. And it is quite fascinating. But you just find out that you're really white.

Well, I'm not so white. The main reason I was doing it is because I'm Maori. My mum is Maori. My grandmother's Maori. But I just don't look Maori at all. And I was like, what? Who, where down the line did none of that translate upon my face? So that's what I was trying to look at.

Translate upon my face. You see my mum and you're like, yep. And then you see me and you're like, whose kid are you? Right. I think you look like your mum. Maybe not as hot, but I mean. Yeah. She's a beautiful woman.

She is, yeah. Patsy. The second time I met Patsy Sproul, I met her at a Have You Been Paying Attention? The next time I saw her was at, what was that at? It was at the theatre. The theatre? We went to, oh, Book of Mormon.

Book of Mormon. Book of Mormon. And she's like, remember me? I'm Hayley's hot mum. That's when you went on a whole Patsy's hot riff. Yeah. And then she remembers it. But then she said in front of my wife, remember me?

I'm Hayley's hot mum. And then Shadow was like, did you say Hayley's mum was hot? I was like, there might have been some white flirting. Patsy's taken by Craig, I'm afraid, guys. The Somerset South Island Masters Games are back. If you're ready to congregate and compete, we'll make your experience complete. The games are happening in Timaru from October the 7th

till October the 16th. Over 10 days featuring 30 different sports and five party nights, you'll catch up with old friends and make new ones. It's the ultimate event for competing and socialising. Early bird entries are open now till the end of June so get your team together. Details at simasters.com

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know

on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. ZM. Speaking of issues, I've got one on my hands. And it was brought to our attention, well, it's been brought to my attention before, and we were sort of like, nah, we'll make it work. And then last night we were like, let's actually see if this is going to work. And we've come to the conclusion, no.

So, fiance Aaron and I moved house recently. And we did a bit of an upgrade of some things, you know. Just some bedding and some units and a couch. We had an L couch, but the configuration of our new lounge does not allow for an L. The L was brought to the wrong place. God, I love an L couch. I love an L. I love to stretch out my legs yeah yeah so you've either got to have an ottoman or a poof or an hour yeah yeah we don't we've got

a couple of cases i don't know i'm always am i overly frenching that when i say i'll get very angry when i'll get very angry if i have friends over and someone sits on my owl yeah that's not yours that's not their owl it's not their owl. It's my owl. Up your butt. It's my couch. Yeah, yeah. Get on the occasional chair. Scooch.

Scoochy scooch. Well, we went shopping for a new couch. We went into a homeware store and we had a look around and we're like, let's get something real lush, something real nice, but not an owl. So it has to be able to house us both. We're both big people, but not an owl couch. And then we found a pretty,

pretty fat couch. Right. I have a fat couch. Pretty, nice, cushy, brown leather, vintage looking thing. It's got these arms that, mmm,

the thing is gorgeous. And we both hopped on it in the shop and we went, this is the one, baby. You can imagine watching like Netflix on that couch. Yeah, absolutely.

We don't need the owl. We both fit. So we measured it out in the store because we've got a very small lounge in our new house. Very small. We were like, okay, we can make this work. It'll fit. So we ordered it and they said it'll be four months before it will be done. Is it because of COVID?

I'm not sure. I don't know actually where it gets made, if it was in New Zealand or not, but the one that we saw was the wrong colour so we chose our leather, we chose our finishings, you know? Yep. So it was going to take four months. We were like, we're prepared to wait. We've been waiting

four months. We just got the call yesterday that it is going to be here next week and it will be delivered. We were so excited. We said, okay, well, let's tidy up the lounge and get ready for it to arrive. And what we'll do is we'll tape out where it's going to go so we know where everything can kind of fit around it. I'm a huge fan of a tape out or getting like cardboard boxes

and like cutting them to the size. That is Aaron all over. He loves that. So we did it. And just for some reason, it doesn't work. It doesn't fit. It does not fit. So no matter where we shunted it, it's not going to fit.

Now, I want to say, I've paid an exorbitant amount for this couch. I've waited four months for this couch. Yeah, it's not going to fit. The couch is in the country. It is here. Can you not just jam it in? But we will sacrifice so much. And then Aaron started making threats.

He was like, we have to get rid of the Monstera. I was like, get out. Ah, trade-offs. You can move a plant to fit a couch. No, no, no. Our Monstera is almost the size of this desk. Trim it.

It is huge. Put it in the bedroom. Get out of it. I'm not trimming my Monstera. You can move a plant. No it in the bedroom. Get out of it. I'm not trimming my monster up. You can move a plant. No, no, no. The configuration's all wrong. So we've got this big corner window and then a doorway.

So if we move it this way, it's going to block the path from the kitchen to the lounge. Well, that's a fire risk. That's a fire risk. So we had to move it along. If you move it along, then you can't have another chair. So if people come over, there's just a couch. Then where are they going to go? Right. There's no room for an occasional chair, so then we tried to

wedge it all in, got into a little bit of an argument about it. It's a very expensive couch. Yeah, right. It's too fat. It's too buff. It's too long and it's too deep. Sade's been petitioning for a coffee table lately.

I'm like, no, because then I can't drag a beanbag right in front of the TV and sit two feet away from it when I want this whole cinema experience. Anyway, I'm fuming about it. So you have a couch for sale. So I have a couch. I refuse to sell it for any less than what we paid for it, even though you're not getting it from the store. But you won't have to wait four months.

Are you actually going to have to sell it? I think so. Also, you taped it out. That's a 2D modelling. You haven't allowed for like height and depth and how it fills the room on a 3D scale. I'm going to say, just thinking about it last night, we had had a couple of wines.

I think it was making it worse. We were trying to calm down. I think it's going to look very silly. Right. Okay. I can't tell you how much I paid for this. Are you going to wait until it's delivered and then just try just in case? Aaron actually, Aaron was going to ring them today and see if we could be like, hey.

We've screwed up. We've really screwed up. But it's a custom water couch. It's too fat. It's too fat. It sounds like it's come from overseas too. Yeah. That and your Ancestry.com bloody carbon footprint.

You better go out and plant a couple more Monsteras, I think. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Listen up, couples, and listen closely. If you want the answer to a long-lasting, healthy, rewarding relationship, it's very, very simple. Apparently, a new study finds that couples who play together stay together. Playfulness is the key to how to keep your relationship lasting. Like if you get a long piece of string and your girlfriend chases it around like a cat,

is that what you mean? Playfulness. Point the laser pointer at the wall. And your boyfriend goes crazy trying to get the laser dot? Is that what you mean? If that makes you feel like you're both having fun, that's fine. What you're trying to do is you're trying to activate

the hormones in your brains that make you feel excited and like you're having a fun time and you connect that, you make that relationship to that person. I have fun with this person. You want to stay with them for the rest of your life.

So things like surprises, recreating special moments through role play, just some of the things you can do to help with playfulness. And it's not just playfulness like pointing a laser at a wall and watching your partner freak out or, you know,

playing Barbies or something, playing with your Lego together. It can also be a little bit of playfulness in the bedroom. Right. Play it up a little bit. Have some fun. It doesn't always have to be so serious. Yeah. It doesn't always have to be so romantic and lovey.

Have a laugh. Right. Have a bit of a giggle. Because all you're doing is just releasing those positive hormones when you're just being a bit silly and being playful. So that's the key. That's the key. It's very easy. It's not honesty or respect or trust. Just have none of

those things required. Chuck that crap in the garbage Be a court jester Just remember to have a little laugh And a bit of a play Your wife obviously doesn't get too sick of that No The playfulness and the silliness

You just love winding her up don't you Very much so The silliness is totally right though I always reckon if a couple can't make each other laugh, you know that it's not going to last. Yeah. But what about, you know, when you meet someone who's truly humorless and that's not a dig at them, that's a trait they have.

They lack humor. I don't know how they survive. But those people might find another humorless person. Are they making each other laugh? No, but they're having fun, right? And just for the average person, fun looks like laughter and enjoyment. But I don't know what that looks like to a humorless person. Stamps in the radio on maybe, you know?

Yeah, yeah. And a sudoku. Yeah. A wild sudoku. Yeah, I don't know. Serious people. Yeah, right. Okay.

Well, playfulness, that's the key. Playfulness. Playfulness. Have a little run around. Have a little, have a little, I don't know. Serious people. Yeah, right. Okay. Well, playfulness. That's the key. Playfulness. Have a little run around. Have a little, put on some accents. Be a bit wacky. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Fleshforn and Megan with Hayley Sprouse. ZM Detect. Rebecca joins us. Good morning, Rebecca. Good morning. Do you have plans for the long weekend? Yeah, just going over to Pessamore. Oh, okay.

Little Pessamore. Nice. Well, let's see if we can hook you up with some free fuel now. This is how ZMT Tank works. You're on our imaginary forecourt. You're filling up, and the dollar amount will increase. And you've just got to say stop to lock in that dollar amount before the car behind you

rudely toots and goes off and moves you on from the imaginary forecourt. If that happens, you lose all that money. Yeah. So say stop at any time. We gave away, what, $230 this morning. Gave away quite a bit yesterday as well. So, Rebecca, are you ready?

Yeah. All right, here we go. $5. $25. $50. $150. $215. We'll be getting impatient.

$240. $240. $25. We'll be getting impatient. $240. $280. $375. Stop. What are you made of? Oh, my God. Still balls, Rebecca.

I was mentally following along being like, that's where I'd tap out. I would have tapped out at $200. Same. Because when we gave away $230 at 7 o'clock, she said stop, and literally a split second later it ended. We might just give away $10 and then we'll go. Big balls, bats.

$350, Rebecca, is all yours. You have locked that in. Do you want to see how high it would have gone? You go on. Go on. that in. Do you want to see how high it would have gone? You go on. Go on. $440. $605. Oh, jeez.

That was only two more leaps away, but they were big leaps. Oh, God. All right. Hey, Rebecca, congratulations. $350. Fuel is yours. Congratulations. Awesome. God. All right. Hey, Rebecca, congratulations. $350 fuel is yours. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you so much. ZMD Tank will play again tomorrow 7 and 8. And don't forget, this time

tomorrow, we will be kicking off the Long Weekend Group 2 ahead of Easter weekend. Yep. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Should I feel guilty? Hello there. Should I feel guilty? I'm Judge Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Should I feel guilty? Hello there. Should I feel guilty? I'm Judge Vaughney.

Judge Vaughney. Judge Vaughney. It's supposed to sound like, no, I'm not going to hit that again. It's supposed to sound like Judge Judy, but it just sounds like I'm trying to be cute. But I think this is more like Judge Judy decides, doesn't she? This is more the people's court.

Yeah, this is the people's court. And this is you listening that gets to decide if this person should feel guilty or not. I'm the judge in this courtroom. Sorry, Your Honour, sorry. Magistrate. I don't know if you're a magistrate. We'll just sit down at the back.

Got this email to the show. I have someone to ask your listeners for the should I feel guilty segment. Great, because this is where we're at. This is what's happening right now. And again, let's just say if you have a scenario where maybe you're feeling guilty and you'd like us to deliberate on it, just send us a message on our Facebook page, FEMZN. We won't immediately absolve you of guilt. That's not what we're here for.

I mean, we could find you guilty. That's something you've got to live with. Yeah, and then you've got to live with that decision. But we can be anonymous. This anonymous person goes to say, I'm a new mum, my husband and I have an 11-month-old, and this is our first baby. Guilty.

Not yet. I've recently gone back to work, and even though I love them both to bits, it is so nice to have a break. While I was on maternity leave, my husband always complained about how tired he was and it drove me wild. Now that I'm back at work

and doing most of the heavy lifting with the baby, I'm mega exhausted. That's like exhausted, but significantly larger. I've told my husband that I need to go on a work trip next week, but I've really booked myself a hotel in the city for the night. Obviously not planning on doing anything naughty. I just want a bath, some wines and 10 hours uninterrupted

sleep. If I was honest about it, he'd get on at me about saving money and that he deserves a treat too. Should I feel guilty about this? Now, we're running a poll on Instagram FVMZM. Still running, so I won't give you the final result now, but I will say it's pretty, pretty

evenly split at this stage. Yeah, neck and neck, really. But it's the old situation is that if the boot was on the other foot, if the husband said he was going on a business trip, but he was just going to a hotel to get 10 hours uninterrupted sleep, some

wines, or some Steinies in the bath. I don't know, maybe he's a wine guy. Maybe he's stony. Yeah. Maybe he'll just— Orpah on the rocks. A bottle of straight vodka and 10 hours uninterrupted sleep in a bath. In a bath?

Not in a bath. Who knows where the night might go. He— Would you— You'd be angry at him, I'm imagining, because he's getting a treat and you're not. I think that's the thing. My opinion on this is that they both need to make space for each other to have this moment. So if they're both tired and both working hard and she feels like she needs this, I would check in with myself because I'm just the purest of people.

I'd check in and be like, maybe he needs this as well. Rather than that jealousy thing of being like, oh, the competitive, like I'm more tired than you. Well, you've had kids born yeah and also working pretty crazy morning hours yeah how how did you what did you do well i kind of found it tough not being there all the time because i wanted to be there more but then i was really lucky like we worked um when indy was born we worked in the afternoon, so I got to spend all morning with her. And then when we came here and worked mornings, I got to spend all the

afternoon with the kids. So I'm very, very lucky. But there are people that go back to work. It might be mums, it might be dads. And they go back to work and they work from eight in the morning till five at night and they don't get quality time in the morning with the kids and they don't get quality time in the evening with kids because five o'clock get quality time in the in the evening with kids because five o'clock's like

the witching hour it's when they yeah crazy so they only ever get to feel like the grumpy parent of getting them ready in the morning or getting them ready for bed at the end of the day and they're tired and stuff so i understand that's that's a really hard role to play as well as well as being stuck you know and then being at home all day with it's not easy. But you've just got to be open to the fact that somebody else is also tired. So should she feel guilty? Because she is lying. My only thing is the lying. She's lying to her partner.

She's not cheating on him. No. But she's still lying to get away. So she thinks that if she just said, babe, I need a day. I'm just going to take myself away. I need you to just take over here. She thinks that he'll go, we can't afford it. We don't have the money right now.

Yeah, why do you get to do that, not me? Well, that's where I would go, well, you can do it too. You can do it. You can have next week. And also, I think a lot of people get lost in it. We're real lucky. And I understand most people's situations are different. But my parents and Sade's parents were both really keen to step up and look after them.

And then that first weekend where you actually get to just spend some you time together. Yeah. Because that's what they might need. Some baby free. Yeah, right. Or just leave it in the car in the casino car park. Not quite. No, we're not recommending that.

But that's 24 hour security. Yes, but not since the 80s. I've just had a message from my mother, Patsy Sproul, the woman who famously didn't invite her children to her own wedding, to my father. Her words of advice, ditch the kid with the grandparents and both go to the hotel, no-brainer. But what if you need a break from each other?

Yeah, that doesn't come up so much in this. And it sounds like they need some me and you time. Yeah, that doesn't come up so much in this. And it sounds like they need some me and you time. Yeah, alright. Well, do you think that she should feel guilty because she is lying to her boyfriend or partner about where she is? Yeah, we've offered alternatives here, but that's not the question at hand, is it? Yeah, it's

you know, should she feel guilty? 0800DARLS.M, you tell us. You can vote as well on our Instagram poll, FBMZM, or text the 9696. And maybe you've been in this situation where you've lied and got away from your partner, not to cheat on them, but just to get some alone time. Or maybe you got caught and it didn't go down well.

Oh, no, lying never goes down well when you get caught. No, it doesn't. That's the general rule of it, I think. Should I feel guilty? Should our anonymous emailer feel guilty at the fact that she's thinking about lying to her partner about having a business trip? She's just gone back to work after 11 months maternity leave. And Phil's, she's doing the majority's share with the baby outside of working hours as well.

So she said, I'm going to say I have to go away with work to stay away. Yeah. Work trip, but she's just going to go to a hotel for a night. Now, somebody messaged a very good point. If he still has to work, where is the baby going? And could the baby not just go there so they could both enjoy time away together? And then again, if they can't afford it, that's like what a whole day of care.

Sometimes you've got to put the financial thing aside if it's going to be for the betterment of your marriage. How is she going to hide the transaction? Yeah, that's a good call. I don't know. Yeah, or even if it's a joint credit card, see that there's a hotel room on hold for a night. And, you know, that's where the web of lies starts,

isn't it? And then you're like, they bump into one of your workmates and they're like, how was the business trip? And they're like, what business trip? And he's like, the one that Sandy Ann was just on. Sandy Ann? My Sandy Ann? My Sandy Ann? My Sandy Ann.

Clea, what do you think? Should she feel guilty? Yes and no. I'll hear you out. No, she shouldn't feel guilty for needing the time. She's a new mum.

It's very, very difficult to adjust to that. Yeah. I've got four kids. It's really, really hard to constantly be around your children or to constantly feel exhausted and feel like you're constantly stretching yourself. Yes. It's really hard being a mum and being a new mum. So, no, she shouldn't feel guilty for needing that time.

Everyone needs time. You need to look after yourself. Yeah, but she's lying about it. Yes, exactly. That's my other point. It's yes, she should feel guilty for lying. Right. Because I'm in my second marriage.

Yep. So my first marriage was based on cheating and lying. Not from me, from my husband. Right. So the fact that she's lied and said she's going on a work trip, but really she's booked herself on a little night away at a hotel room. Alone, though. Alone.

Yeah, but still a lie, though, isn't it? All right. Yeah. So you're like, she shouldn't feel bad, but she should. A bit on the fence. Yeah. She should feel bad about wanting alone time, but she should feel bad about the lying there. Alright, thanks for your call, Claire. Matt, what do you reckon?

Should she feel guilty? No, no, she shouldn't do it. This is about mental health. Obviously, if it's got to this point where she thinks she's got to have a day out, then she should just go and do it. The fact that, obviously, her husband or partner is not mentally there to understand that. There's three different times that a relationship needs, and it's really important that people understand that.

There's time as a family, there's time as a couple, and time by yourself. And you should not be made to feel guilty if you need time by yourself. Matt, what do you do for a living? I'm in sales. Oh gosh, you just sold me on your pitch then. I thought you were maybe some kind of relationship therapist or something. That was a very eloquent answer.

So you're saying she should not feel guilty about it, just do it, even if it is a lie? No, absolutely not. She's not going away to be with somebody else or anything like that. It do it, even if it is a lie. No, absolutely not. She's not going away to be with somebody else or anything like that. It's just a day away for a mental break. And if her husband found out, yeah, he'd probably be pissed off, but he'd suck it up and get over it after a little while. Yeah, because it's not like she's cheating on him.

I'm with Matt. Yeah, you're with Matt. I'm with you, Matt. There's one lie, though, isn't there? Yeah. It says there's not a whole lot of lies buried underneath that lie. Matt thinks you called some messages in. Someone's controversial.

This woman says it's really hard to be around kids all the time, but it's a choice to have kids. There's no good to come from lying in a relationship. Relationships built on honesty and trust, regardless of what you lie about, it can have a negative effect on the relationship. I've been looking at the real issue, which is why you can't feel you can be honest in the first place.

There needs to be more conversation and more openness. Okay. Yeah, I sort of agree there as well. If this is a relationship, yeah, the foundations of this relationship have a small crack in it. If you can't go. Yeah.

And you can't take back kids. Some water damage. Oh, God, you certainly can't. And you can't return them. I said that like an exhausted mother over cats. You certainly can't take back cats. Some water damage. Oh, God, you certainly can't. And you can't return them. I said that like an exhausted mother over cats. You certainly can't take back children. Oh, my cat was crying at 3.30 this morning. Somebody said, guilty.

Be straight up. As a guy who's been in this, it was great to bank a day where I knew I could go fishing with the lads or go and hang out with the boys guilt-free because she'd had her day and now I knew in the future I could have mine. Yeah, right. Okay.

That's a good one. Guilty. Kissed a relationship goodbye by lying. Many women have felt this way. It's not unusual. She should be thanking her lucky star she didn't have twins or triplets. Welcome to my world.

We are hearing from the mother of multiples. Is that what they say? Like twins and triplets and stuff. We'll tell you how much harder they're doing it. So glad I don't have kids. Freedom. Poor lady's so tired, she probably can't even bother having an argument.

A lie is easier. Lies are deal breakers. You choose to breed. You choose to breed, have the balls and face up. It's a privilege to have a child, not a chore. It's teamwork. to have a child, not a chore. It's teamwork.

And for teamwork to be the dream work, it's got to be honest. Okay, so our poll, should she feel guilty? 60% now say not guilty. Started off quite even, but yeah, only 40% saying she should feel guilty. So 60%, how are you rolling? Take that night out at the hotel. But don't lie about it. Oh, so that's your sentence,

as she may go, but she must tell the truth. I'm not sure any understanding husband would know. Yeah. And if he doesn't, then maybe there's more that needs to be discussed at a later date with Judge Vaughn-y. Flesh Vaughney.

Today's fact of the day is about Cuba. Cuba. You've been to Cuba? Oh, it's a beautiful country. You've been to Cuba. It's amazing. I've never been to Cuba. Kind of locked in time.

Yeah. Because it was a communist outpost, wasn't it, for the Soviet Union. That fell, but they were like, we'll keep going, but it's not like all. Yeah, and then Obama opened it up to American tourists, and then Trump closed it to American tourists. I didn't know that. He closed it again. And then so if you're an American, you could only go if it was educational or. Right.

Well, everybody makes one mistake. Let's give this Trump guy the benefit of the doubt, eh? Yeah. I haven't heard anything else. No. Anything else negative about. No, no, nothing. He seems cute.

Pretty quiet. Yeah. Just sort of a like cute old man energy. Cute little dumpy old man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cute little orangey funny hair fella. What could go wrong? You've got to have a cute one every now and then.

So there's a rule in Cuba that hitchhiking, they called it nationalised hitchhiking. If you are hitchhiking and a government vehicle goes past, if there's room, they have to stop and pick you up. Oh, wow. Yeah. So kind of the public transportation system kind of fell to bits because when the Soviet Union fell, they weren't getting the Soviet oil in Cuba. They weren't getting that sweet communist hookup for some delicious petroleum. So buses and stuff started being less frequent, wildly unreliable. And it is a country where owning a private car

without a license from the government only became legal in January 2014. Wow. And before that, every other car was considered state property. So if you were driving pre-January 2014, that was a government vehicle. And if you saw someone hitchhiking,

you had to pick them up and take them on you. Really? It had to be on your way. You could drop them off as close as, like hitchhiking is. You don't go out of your way to drop off a hitchhiker unless they're hot. Sometimes you get two or three hundred k's out of the way. I wasn't really going to the Hawke's Bay.

Yeah, I was just popping down to the dairy, but I can go to Napier. Have you picked up a hiker? Only once I was heading home from Gisborne with a friend, and we had a van, and he just pulled over a very, I will say dodgy looking, hippie kind of dude, who just lay in the back of the van and had a little... Were there seats in the back of the van or was he just decided to have a lighter?

No, there were no seats in the back of the van. Oh, no, he's happy then. He's getting where he's going. Yeah, he was all right. And you only picked him up because he was hot? No, no, no. I didn't make the decision. My friend was driving.

I wouldn't have done it. I mean, you know, as a woman, I probably wouldn't have picked up a chukka. Yeah, no, that's fair enough. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. As a man, I don't, as a woman, I probably wouldn't have picked up a hitchhiker. No, that's fair enough. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. As a man, I don't pick up a hitchhiker. No?

Yeah, filthy creatures. Yeah, also your wife's always in the car with you. Yeah, but when I drove, we used to drive by myself, I used to pick up hitchhikers. Really? Not everyone. Not one that I, and this, if I felt I couldn't physically overpower them,

I wouldn't pick them up. If they were little. Right, okay. There was that time I'm going up to Kadrona when I was down on a holiday by myself. I had a, what were those? A little monster. Daihatsu Terrier.

One of these little Daihatsu cars. No business driving up a ski field road. You know when you book a rental car, it's the cheapest option? Yeah, that one. Yeah, two doors. That one. A little boot. There was someone hitchhiking up. I'm like, I can help. I can help him option. Yeah, that one. Yeah, two doors. That one. A little boot.

There was someone hitchhiking up. I'm like, I can help. I can help him out. Japanese dude, didn't speak a word of English. Yeah. But man,

did he squeal when we were going around those corners. It was so much fun. Favorite hitchhiker. Lots of people hitchhike up the ski fields, eh?

And you could have physically overpowered him. I believe I could have physically overpowered him. Okay. Yeah. Well, when you say he squealed

all the way up the hill, I believe you could. He was not loving it. But in Cuba. Well, when you say he squealed all the way up the hill, I believe you could. He was not loving it. But in Cuba, yeah, if you were driving, so pre-2014, every vehicle was considered a state vehicle. Wow. Because of communism. I don't know if it's like you just wake up in the morning

and the first person in the car gets to use it for the day or what the deal is, but. Just leave the keys in the ignition. You just leave a car on the side of the road. Free for all. Yeah. And somebody else can use it. Yeah, like a bike.

Yeah. It's like bikes everywhere. So, but that has changed, but the majority of vehicles on the road are still government vehicles. So if you are hitchhiking and they have a spare seat, legally they are required to pick you up.

Wow. So today's fact of the day is in Cuba, hitchhiking sounds a little bit easier. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Alright, time to talk living rooms. As I was saying before, I'm actually designing my living room at the All right. Time to talk living rooms. As I was saying before, I'm actually designing my living room at the moment

around the fact that I've got a fat couch that doesn't fit. So that's what's stressing me out. But therapists have got together to talk about the things in your living room that may be stressing you out. They say that your living room should be a chill zone. Okay. But the way it looks or certain things in there

may be raising your stress levels. Okay, I want to see if I've got any of these. Okay. Because I think I'm quite minimalist. Do you think I'd be minimalist?

Is that what I... I don't have a lot of stuff in there. Nah. You'd be the same in your lounge. Very... Well, not if I was running the lounge. No, well, your wife has a good... See, we are maximalists at our place.

We've got a lot of colour, a lot of knickknacks. A lot of plants. A lot of plants, a lot of antiques. I have seen a photo and I did say to Vaughan, is she a hoarder? The answer is yes. Yeah. Okay, so top of the list, light coloured living room furniture. No, I've got dark furniture.

So like white couches, white carpets. No, white couches stress me out. They look amazing. Say for example, like a Scandinavian, if you've got light wood colours and stuff, it would look amazing to have a white couch. But stressful having wines or any kind of thing on the couch. It's not only that.

I totally agree. We can't have white. We've got a cat that comes in from the rain. Yeah. Dirty paws. Absolutely not. I'm not even allowed a white duvet. I've been told.

But it's not only that. It can give your living room. You don't have a white. No one has a white duvet. No, but you know like those big white linen beds. Yeah, like hotels. Asking for trouble. Asking for it.

So they say that it can give your living room a showroom feel, and it can make you feel like it's sterile and not very warm and inviting. And you said stressful. Constantly stressed that you're going to mark it. Yeah, absolutely. Imagine sitting down in a pair of blue jeans and the whole time just being like, I need to get off this couch. Okay, the next one, insufficient lighting.

So if you, it's a dark room, and that's fine. If you live in a house that doesn't have a lot of natural light, you need to add some lamps. Yep. Some, like, nice, warm, like we do that, like, lot of lamps as opposed to, like, overhead white lighting. Yep. Not too bright.

You want to keep it nice and unctuous. Certain living room sounds can make it very stressful, including background conversations. So perhaps you're on a main street or something and your living room connects to the main road. Or TVs. You've got your TV going all the time. That's a stressful living space.

You want to keep it nice and quiet. That's what the lounge is for. Yeah, TV. So they say if TV makes you feel a bit stressed with the constant noise going on, swap it out for some calming music or record player perhaps.

Yeah, looking at TV screens, I would stick with that one. TV screens can elevate stress levels. Well, I've got that one that also puts pictures on it. Oh, I wanted that. Yeah. It's even a nice picture and it looks like it's framed art. Yeah, nice.

Yeah, it's real cool. Nice. Yeah. Clutter is an obvious one. This is something that Aaron tries to put me back on. He's six foot six and I bring in new ornaments and plants and he's like,

I can't breathe in here. Yeah, right. So clutter, things like messy cords. Oh yeah, cords. Being able to see cords. Yeah. Final two, working in your living space can make it feel like a stressful space.

Oh, yeah, because you associate it. Yeah, they say don't put televisions in your bedroom because that's supposed to be your relaxing, sexy time place. That's not sexy. Don't put your work in your living room. Your living room is your relaxy space, not your workspace. And the final one that I feel like a lot of people will relate to. Outdated or worn out furniture.

A scuffed, scuffed hucky table. That's my couch though because my cat has cat destroyed. Yeah, my couch doubles as a cat scratching post on all corners. You've got to cut that out. It gives you feelings of stress. It can bring down your spirits. Every time you see that couch, you're like, that couch sucks.

It does bring down my spirits. I'm like, oh. Boy, do I have a couch for you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. And tomorrow at eight, it's the long weekend group tour that returns ahead of the next long weekend with Easter. Just a day away. Very excited.

I'm going to dress up all Easter-y tomorrow, I've decided. What are you going to dress? What's Easter? I don't know. Pastels? Oh, I think maybe like a loincloth and we'll nail you to the chair or something. That's another option. I'll dress as a Roman.

Yeah, okay, great. Conscious pilot. Yeah, great. You can be Judas. So just have this look on your face. I might have stuffed up here. I was going to dress up as Noah. I'm the bad guy.

I was going to become as Noah. Okay. With an arc. Should we dress Bible-themed tomorrow? Biblical thing. Yeah. Okay. Sure.

I'll be Mary. Which one? Virgin or Magdalene? Magdalene. Oh, yeah, the fun one. I am not the Virgin Mary. Good call. Sure.

British man looked up his neighbour's house came up for sale. And so he did what you do when a house on your street comes up for sale. You find the listing and you have a gawk through the house. Yes, you do. And you're like, I walk past that all the time. Oh, my God, that's what it looks like. I'm sorry. Vaughan has a history of going into his neighbour's open homes for a nosy.

Yep, same. Have you done that? Yep. Mate, you live next to this house. You see it from the outside all the time. The curiosity demands you know what's on the inside. What is wrong with you? You don't need to look inside your neighbour's homes.

Yes, you do. I want to see their furniture. I want to see inside their wardrobe. Yeah. Yep. I want to see what state their bathroom's in. I want to look in that pantry. Yeah.

I might buy this house. I deserve to know what's in that pantry. Or wonky cupboards. Yeah. It's good to have a bit of a gander. So anyway, he went for a look through, and in one of the bedrooms, I would describe it as a single bedroom at best.

Okay. Single bed and a set of drawers, and she's a pretty chocker room. However, it's what's on the bed that's the problem. It's his cat making itself very at home with a house down the street. Naughty. Stretched out, pure cat pose, just like fully stretched right out. Naughty cat.

Very naughty cat. Cats, I think, we had this when we first had Rolly. We thought he might have been going off because he just started getting super fat. We were like, what? And not coming inside at night, even when it was really cold. And we were like, what? And not coming inside at night, even when it was really cold. And we were like, I don't know where he goes. And then, yeah, we found out that he was going in

through our neighbor's cat door, was like totally making himself at home. And then so we had to go over and we were like, I know he's really sweet, but please, if he comes in, can you shoo him out? And eventually he was like, I don't, I'm not welcome here anymore. And my parents had the opposite. When they lived

in Wellington, they had this cat turn up, which they named Red, and the cat would just turn up and I guess it just kind of moved in for a while. And what did they do? They fed it, which is naughty. Very naughty. They fed it, they cuddled it, it hung out with their other cat. Because we're having drinks

at a friend's house on Friday, or no, Saturday night, and they just have this, it's called just, I think they just call it Fluffy Ginge, and it comes in through the cat door. It doesn't live there, but it comes over all the time. Right. And it was real cute. Is this like a neighbourhood kit, is it?

Fluffy Ginge. Fluffy Ginge. Fluffy Ginge. He just called it Kit Down the Road. Fluffy Ginge is riding his bike up and down the path again. I squeeze into the cat door. But it looked like a pure, I don't know what kind of breed it was, but it looked expensive.

Fancy. And it was nice. This cat was well looked after. I guess you could say they're promiscuous cats. Promiscuous cats. Hit it. Yeah. We're not going to do a live parody or anything.

We just wanted an excuse to play this. Absolutely. Cracking instruments on the background. Get to the chorus. Well, it goes on, doesn't it? It does. Is this all it is? I was a part of it.

You know, every now and then you will hear a song as an instrumental and you'll be like, huh. The singer was doing a lot of work. A lot of the heavy lifting. A lot of the heavy lifting. This is just... No, but I think when it goes into... They just took...

That's when it goes... They just took four beats. Here you go. Rescue his cat. You're sleeping around. Lying on beds. Meowing in their house. Promiscuous cat eating the friskies.

Coming back home and wanting more friskies. I rhyme friskies with friskies because I'm lazy. Yeah. It's good, it's good, it worked. It worked in this case. Promiscuous cats. Yeah. Do you ever wish you could put a GPS collar on your cat just to see where he is?

Promiscuous-ing around? Yeah, I wish that, put a GPS collar on your cat just to see where he is promiscuously around? Yeah, I wish that, you know, the microchips they have to get now, I wish that's how they work, that you could just log in, like find my iPhone and be like, where you at, you cheeky little beggar? You could sellotape an iPhone to your cat. You can put a tile tab on their... Oh, yeah. Collar.

On their collar. You could use that as a track and trace. How do tile tabs work? Oh, gosh, I just got a... I tile tabs work? Oh gosh I just got a Sorry to interrupt But I just got a calendar alert April Fool's tomorrow Yeah

So you better bloody watch it Please don't The prankster's here Please don't We've renamed our business To something We're doing a product That is a bit weird

Did you set a calendar reminder? Do not fall for any pranks tomorrow. Is that what it says? No, no, it just says April Fool's. I've left the holiday button on. Holidays in New Zealand. Hey, turn that down for a second. Hey, Siri, set a reminder for 7am tomorrow.

It's April Fool's Day. Don't fall for any pranks. You're welcome. There's dolphins in this lake. ZM, we're ZN today. Did you notice? We've changed.

Oh, Siri's talking to you. Siri, did that reminder work? Oh my God, that actually worked. Yeah, I thought it would.

Thank you for that, Vaughn. No, that's all right. You need to do an Alexa one now. What do you say to Bixby? Bixby. No,

that's a Samsung one. Oh, well, we can switch. No, but you can do Alexa as well. Hey Bing. Hey Bing search.

Hey Jeeves. Hey Alexa. Hey Yahoo Mail. Set reminder. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.