ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 3rd August 2020

Episode Date: August 2, 2020

New Public Holiday?!  Tampon Ad  I Hope I'm Not the Only One!  Megans Glow Up  Poll'y-Moly: Slidey Widey  Vaughans Run  What Drama happened at your Wedding?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast brought to you by McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4. And I don't know if you're not in New Zealand if that counts, so too bad. I would say it does not. Yeah, probably not. Too bad. I don't even know where other countries actually confirmed have McCafe. I know Australia does.

Yeah, I don't know about the UK. I don't know where else McCafe is. That's a good question, actually. Oh yeah, now we're going to look into it. Big week, though. Megan, you're moving this week. I am. To your new fuddy.

Mm-hmm. Are you guys coming to help? I mean, Fletch, you offered. No, remember ages ago I offered, and then I said I couldn't make it. You rescinded your invitation. You son of a bitch. I actually made sure I was away this weekend so I didn't have to help. That's how that worked

But you wanted to come for a nosy Oh I want to come when you've all set it up Your house Definitely Warren's probably already been for a nosy drive by I've driven by He's been an external nosy Of course you have

I haven't been inside Right But I have driven past Yeah Very interesting Why? Why is it interesting? Well that's where I used to buy my meth from

Wow you're moving into a former meth home Wow it's either a lab or a distribution centre I personally have a distribution centre I very highly doubt the lovely couple that used to live there were That's what they want you to think Right McCafe started in Melbourne, Australia in 1993. Okay.

In 2006, Bulgaria got a McCafe. Paraguay in 2007. Paraguay. Muy bien. 2008, South Africa got a McCafe. El Salvador in 2008. It's in lots of places. Spain, Ukraine.

Have you ever been overseas and you've seen like a McDonald's that has like a, we don't have to do this McDonald's chat, by the way. We're here. We're here. Oh, yeah. We're under no obligation to be chatting Maccas. We're just interested. But have you ever been overseas and like you've gone into a Maccas or past Maccas

and they've got just a dessert-only window? What? Blows your fucking mind. Where? Like, I think overseas, like, somewhere hot. Like, and you go past it and it's just for, like, McFlurries and soft-serves. Just for desserts. What about a hot apple pie?

Yeah, maybe. A volcanically hot apple pie. I think that's under their jurisdiction. I think it's just desserts. That would be under the dessert. I think that's under their jurisdiction. I think it's just dessert. I can't remember where I saw that. I would say, can you crack open the apple pie and put a squirt of soft serve in each half? Oh, shit. Why does no one ask that it could do that?

Can you do that with a hot apple pie? Can you then just buy just a squirt? Well, no, you'd have to get like a soft serve. A 50 cent cone. Yeah. What an ultimate combo. People are probably well on this. Anyway.

This is absolute apple pie. Also, speaking of McDonald's, I had my first frozen coconut sugar yesterday. Go on. Oh, it's just divine. Yeah. It reminded me of childhood going to the movies when I didn't care too much about how much sugar was in there. Ah, without the sugar.

Yeah. But it's, oh. Have you tried it yet, Fletch? Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, good. i gotta always get a brain headache when i do like you get too excited i get so excited i'm like this is so yum yes and then i'm just like slow down slow down even i can tell you're uh you can't get the pain away you're like what is that don't you push don't you push down on either side of your nose? Like it's going down, but it's going down into your stomach. Why does your brain get cold?

Brain freeze. Do you think that's what happened in Titanic? Brain freeze is a short. Jack got brain freeze. And that's why he didn't share the door. He was so. No, Rose didn't share the door. They were just so cold,

they just couldn't work it out logically that there was room for two. What is happening here with brain freeze? It's a sensation that feels like it's happening inside your skull, but it has to do with what's going on in your mouth. It isn't as common as you'd suspect. Many studies report that only half of participants could even get brain freeze.

Is this like the same as only half the population tastes coriander? It tastes like soap. Just beneath the skin on your face is the network of blood vessels that supply the face and brain with blood. Blood contains many nutrients like oxygen. Okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Tiny nerve endings. Producer Jared's just sent me this diagram.

You put something long into your mouth and put it against the roof of your mouth and press. A thumb, for example. And that's how you would stop. Or a sausage. A hard sausage. Wow. And that stops brain freeze. Yeah.

It rapidly lowers the temperature at the back of your throat and roof of your mouth. Many also agree this causes the tiny blood vessels in the area to shrink, allowing less blood to pass through them. This reduces their ability to supply your brain with the necessary oxygen in the blood. Oh my god, I was driving when this happened. You need all of the oxygen in your blood. And your brain was

frizzling up. Yeah, wow, that's good to know. That's always the noise you make. That's always the noise you make. That's always the noise you make. You need to start banging your head. Yeah, people are going to be like, should he be driving? I don't know. All right. Enjoy the podcast.

ZM. Head music lives here. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Happy Monday. It's also August. Yes.. It's also August. Oh, yes.

The 3rd of August. The 8th month. What? When you say it like that, yeah, wow. The 8th month of 12. Interesting year. It has been thus far. And we're, what, two...

Two... Hold on Hold on Are you just doing Some maths Divide by three is four Not quite Because it'll be

At the end of this month That we're two thirds Of the way through Two thirds of the way Yeah And scenes out of Melbourne Absolute scenes Absolute scenes

Going into like A level four lockdown But still not as That's not as harsh As our level four lockdown Which is why they needed to do this, because they've they've dilly-dallied.

They should have done it before now. Yeah, and thus they're needing to keep doing it like this rather than doing, you know, proper. And there's so many rule breakers in Melbourne, it seems to be like a little mini America. That's where all the, no, it's fraud, man. They're going to try to put the, no, it's fraud, man.

They're going to try to put a microchip up your nose, man. There seems to be a lot of that in Melbourne. Yeah. 700-something cases yesterday. Eww. Nuts. And the deadliest day over the weekend, was it? Yeah.

Saturday was their deadliest day? A lot of deaths. So, yeah, friends in Melbourne not enjoying that. No. A lot of Kiwis over there. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, US President Donald Trump is saying that TikTok will be banned in America because it's just sending all of America's private information

to the Communist Party of China. To China. But they own a lot of apps, China. Yeah, yeah. Well, technically any app developed in China is property of the Chinese government. That's how communism works. Kind of. And so he's saying

it's going to be banned. It's a matter of time. It's going to be banned. Just like that wall that he built. Yeah, sure. Like, you know, remember that promise that he made that he definitely kept. I'm imagining like that. Didn't part of that wall fall down? Yeah, it fell down. This unbreakable wall. Yeah, it's built shonky.

It blew over. It wasn't even human interference. It was a strong wind. Yeah. It blew it down. Do you guys see that ad that someone released over the weekend? It's like six minutes. And it's about a guy who is in a coma for three and a half years

and he wakes up to his Republican family. It's directed by a famous director. I can't remember who. And one of the guys I recognise, the dad I recognise, is an actor. Oh, really? And it's hilarious because the son wakes up and he's like, well, tell me what's happened in the last three and a half years. Imagine even just being in a coma for a year and waking up now.

And then at the end, he's like, why are you guys all wearing masks? It's brilliant. It's worth a search up. But the top six dealing with Donald Trump's call to ban TikTok. The top six things Americans will miss out on if they lose TikTok. All right, it's coming up. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, Auckland Airport has made it into some top airport statistics.

Finally. But I thought it always did all right with, like, airport stuff. Really? I thought it was always like, yeah, the airport awards. Didn't it always do okay? Because it made money and, like, you could get in and out quick and it was small enough that you could find your way around. Yeah.

I don't know. I've never been a fan. I always thought Auckland Airport did all right. What, with overpriced sandwiches? I mean, that's airports worldwide. That's just an MO for airports. And catching an Uber in the back blocks of the airport. Oh, yeah, they hide that shame. Have you ever had to catch an Uber?

It's like a shameful thing. It's like, oh, you're getting an Uber back there. Walks through that desolate car park. Go around the corner. Hide where everyone has a ciggy. Yeah. And that's where you get the Uber. Not out the front.

No, I thought it was, yeah, but I thought it did all right. Okay, well, it's actually one of the busiest airports in the world at the moment because of the amount of domestic flights and also still international flights that are happening in the month of June. So Auckland Airport in the month of June had 231,000 passengers travel through its international and domestic terminals.

Now, when you compare that to last year, when it was just a bit of time, pre-COVID, a different world, 1.5 million passengers. So that was a normal kind of everybody going on their winter escape holidays. You compare that to some of the biggest airports in the world. Hong Kong had 79% lower than Auckland traffic-wise. So they had, in June, 59,000 people go through Changi Airport. No, sorry, Singapore, Changi Airport, had 48,000. Hong Kong was 59.

Singapore doesn't do domestic tourism either, does it? I mean, because it's just a huge, it's just an island. It's huge, that airport. But yeah, I mean, if you've ever been to any of, even Hong Kong airport, huge airports. And so to think that over. But yeah, I mean, if you've ever been to any of, even Hong Kong airport, huge airports. Yeah. And so to think that over the whole month,

there's only a few thousand people a day using that massive giant airport. That's insane. And that most of it would have been people trying to get home to wherever they're from, like transiting through.

Sydney had 172,000 passengers and Brisbane 184. Still about 20, 25% lower than Auckland. That's nuts. Also in comparison, Heathrow Airport, that had about 350,000 passengers in the whole

of June and when you compare that to Auckland, 230. So it's almost as much as Heathrow and in June last year they had 7.2 million passengers in a month. Wow. In one month.

That's nuts, eh? Wowza. So, yeah. When's that going to end? I don't remember travelling. Yeah. Remember holidays? We can still go.

Domestically. Yeah, domestically. Yeah. That's kind of been the, I'd say that's the saviour of that airport. Because, I mean, a lot of people are coming home, but not that many. Yeah, a lot of people travelling around. Yeah. We've got to use our, I'd say that's the saviour of that airport. Because, I mean, a lot of people are coming home, but not that many. Yeah, a lot of people are travelling around. Yeah.

We've got to use our credit somehow, don't we? True. Any credit that you've been able to rebook with? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So everyone's trying to find out who this influence is that posted an ad for a PA. It's in LA. And the ad is extensive. It's actually being taken down now.

Okay. I don't know why. Because it got mocked. Yeah, lots of people obviously took screenshots of it before it was taken down. So this is in LA, personal assistant to influencer. A well-known celebrity slash influencer with 10 plus million followers. Oh, wow. That's a lot.

Okay, that's a lot. There wouldn't be that many people. I was expecting someone with like 200,000, and they've just been a bit overwhelmed. So they're looking for some help. But like, there's some famous TikTokers that have more than that. Yeah, okay. So I don't know who this would be, but yeah,

10 plus million followers seeking a well-organized, available, diligent person to assist to join her team. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So it's her. Oh, okay. Did it say 10 million Instagram followers or just 10 million followers? Followers. So they may have done like a collective. Yeah, of all the soft news.

They do YouTube. Okay. They do YouTube. The ideal candidate would be responsible for a large range of activities and projects which will assist this organization's leadership. So in this position, you should feel comfortable planning, managing calendar activities, being on property

around eight hours a day, cleaning, cooking, communicating with producers, videographers, editors, managers, all stylists, cleaning services, other celebrities and friends, researching and preparing for all pre-production, production and post-production activities. Handling YouTube.

You must be able to remain calm and rational and hardworking at all times. You'll have to answer to your phone 24-7. You must keep all emotional, private matters completely away from this world. Oh, God. You will deal with lots of incredibly private matters. You must be able to handle hundreds of small tasks at once. You must be able to be the bad guy, remove emotion, handle intense conversations,

and bounce back instantly from any mistakes without emotion. Wow. That sounds like a lot to deal with. You must remain sober, yet social, and inviting in a very high-profile environment. So it says you'll get $25 to $30 an hour. That's American. It doesn't sound enough for that part.

You're on call 24-7. Yeah. I'm assuming seven days a week. So you need to schedule, plan and prepare all their stuff each day. You must wake the client each day with a scheduled coffee and all other requests because they sound like that'd be fun being woken up. It's absolutely insane. I want to know who this person is.

Yeah. But they can't be, I mean 10 million followers is a lot but like they can't be too famous. How many has Harry Jowsey got? Is he past 10 million? No he's only up to, he was three last week when we talked about

him suing his ex. Okay. He was three. Plus it's a female. I'm just trying to get a gauge on what kind of person would have 10 million followers. And wouldn't you like, a gauge on what kind of person would have 10 million followers. And wouldn't you, like, would you advertise a job? Or would you, I don't think celebrities would just advertise jobs publicly, right? They'd go through agencies that specialise in recruiting people for celebrities. Because you couldn't just put it out there and just hope that you were going to get somebody with the ability to keep their trap shut. But they're on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram.

Matariki, it's slightly different every year. It's like Easter. It's not done on specific dates like, you know, old Christmas down there on December the 25th. Easter is on the moon. Is it, what, the third full moon of the year? I've got no idea. It's on a lunar cycle. I just search it and Google tells me.

Yeah, yeah. Easter. But that's how Google works it out. It asks the moon what it's going to be doing. Right. And then works that out like that. Well, no, they have to tell the calendar people first. Well, not anymore.

Google tell the calendar people. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, Google's taken top dog running spot at asking the moon questions about what it's doing. And Matsuriki's like that as well. Generally always around the same time of year. Right. This is the new year.

This is the Maldi new year. Yeah. Correct. It's when the stars are on the horizon just before dawn. Okay. I believe. And that indicates that it was time for the Maldi new year. Okay. I believe. And that indicates that it was time for the moulding new year. Right.

And there's been talk about it being a holiday for a little while, but I know the Greens were in. The Greens were like the Green Party. Yep. Not like people whose last name were Green. It's true. Although Shirley and Rod Green have always been a bit of Matariki. Yep.

Public holiday. But now the Green Party and Labour have said yes. Great idea. Who would be opposed to this? People that own a business like you. They have a little cafe because then you have to pay your staff more. Oh, that's all right. Crusher Collins has said it's not the right time to make another public holiday.

So there's that. Okay, right. Sheher Collins has said it's not the right time to make another public holiday. So there's that. Okay, right. She's against it. Yeah. Whether or not she's against it just because Labour's for it. Yeah. She just picks the opposite side. But David Seymour's anti, but I mean.

Is it always around this time? Is it always mid-year-ish? It's give or take a few. Yeah, see, that's what we need. We need. I mean, we get Queen's birthday, don't we? Start of June. Yeah.

But yeah, having a like a July, August, June holiday would be a great long weekend because we don't get one of those during the. Yeah, I think it is a little bit because when we, I've Googled Matariki dates 2026. There you go. I was getting a little bit. Because when we, oh, I've Googled Matariki dates 2026. There you go. I was getting a little bit ahead of myself. No, I was trying to work out because Indy, our daughter's born on Waitangi Day. Right. And then August was like, well, if Matariki, because there was talk about Matariki being a holiday.

If it came, would it ever be on my birthday? Right. And she's like, mid-June. I said, yeah, there would be a possibility of it happening. Although generally it's a little bit later. So, this year, Matariki started on the 13th of July. Next year, it will be the 2nd of July. Right.

So, it would probably, hang on, shall I go 22? See, this is what I did. I think I must have gone to 26. That'll be May. 23rd of May, 22. See, that goes earlier, doesn't it? Oh, heck. That goes a whole lot earlier. I mean, I don't care when the holiday is. Ird of May. 22. See, that goes earlier, doesn't it? Oh, heck. I mean, I don't care when the holiday is. I'd love to.

It would be my honour. It would just be my honour to take a long weekend and to celebrate Matariki. I'm down for it. Here we go. You built us up. I've got all the dates.

A year between now and 2050. Well, let's just go after what's 2022. 2022 is the 21st of the 29th of June. Okay. And then... We could do a long weekend birthday celebration from moi. That's your year. But I don't want to take away from Matariki.

11th or the 17th of July the next year. Yep. And then, oh, yeah, again in 2025, that's you. 19th to the 25th of June that year. This is perfect. This is perfect. July then. July, July, July, July, July, July, July, July, July.

Does it ever fall around my birthday in July? This is a test, by the way. Yeah, 25th of July. I know when your birthday is. I'm just looking. No, it's not looking positive. Okay. Either way, though, thatth of July. I know when your birthday is. I'm just looking. No, it's not nothing positive. Okay. Either way, though, that's a good location for a long weekend. Yeah, you

celebrate Matariki. Get out there into the wilderness. Where do we vote? Is there a referendum? Get out there into the wilderness in June and July in New Zealand. That'll be get out there in front of the heater. And look at the beautiful night sky. Yeah. So there you go. It's a possibility.

Something to look forward to. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. There's an ad that was on TV in Ireland that has been removed by the Advertising Standards Authority. So if you're easily offended, I don't know, just plug your ears for a second because we're about to play you. It's an ad.

The Irish. Yeah. It's heavily Catholic. It's heavily Catholic nation. It's an ad. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's heavily Catholic. It's heavily Catholic nation. I don't know. Yeah. This is, it's an ad for tampons

and it was removed for sexual innuendos and excessive detail. Sexual innuendos? Yeah. Bit of tampon ad. Let's have a listen. Have a listen.

Welcome back. We have got a great show for you today. So tell me, how many of you ever feel your tampon? You shouldn't. It might mean your tampon isn't in far enough. You've got to get them up there, girls. Example, our special Tampax Pearl compact grip design is your guide to comfort.

Just pull it, lock it, and put it in. Not just the tip, up to the grip. So get them up there, girls, with Tumpax. Do it for comfort. But I can't see the sexual innuendo there. Not just the tip was probably the sexual innuendo. That's rubbish innuendo, isn't it? It's terrible.

It's not good. So I was going to say, you know, if you don't have a period, you're probably offended by that. But do you know what? They had 84 complaints and they were mainly from women. Really? That means millions of people didn't. Yeah, that's not many to me, is it?

Yeah, that's just people who want to complain about stuff. Percentage-wise, they're down there. They don't have a valid point. I would have said, nah, the ad stays. Obviously, they wanted to get some chat out of the ad. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, like... Do you think it's because

it's quite descriptive? Maybe, but then, like, we don't have enough chat about women's... I didn't know that. There's no reason for you to know that. But now I feel educated on the fact. That's good. Yeah, right.

And I feel like the more we talk about it, the more it normalises it and then, like, girls at school won't get bullied as much because there's not so much stigma around it. Who bullies girls at school? Other girls? No, boys always give you shit. Because when you're at, like, school, it's a bit taboo, and then you have accidents, and boys think it's funny,

and they don't really understand. I mean, I wasn't affected directly, but I also don't remember that. Well, maybe you weren't there. But I didn't go to a co-ed school. But if you went to a co-ed school, I'd imagine that would be a possibility. Yeah, put that up there on the list with boys flicking your bra and then trying to undo it. Did they do that up there on the list with boys flicking your bra and then trying to undo it. Did they do that thing at your school where you'd be wearing your school bag

and someone would put all their weight on the back of your school bag and you'd just like crumple? No. They never did that. I don't even know if that thing had a name, but you'd be walking and then all of a sudden someone would just like jump and push down on your school bag and go like that. And you'd just go down.

That must have been different games than mine. Or you'd break your straps and mum would hit the roof if you broke your school bag and you just go down. There must be different games in my school. If you break your straps mum would hit the roof if you break your school bag. Oh my god. Yeah.

Oh no, no. And you don't need as big a school bag as they tell you. No, you've got to have a massive school bag. Well, that was cool when I was young.

To have a massive school bag. A massive school bag and have it hang down real low. Oh, was that cool? Yeah. Because I had a big school bag and I was just a target for these guys that would jump on your school bag. Oh, babes. And then I didn't need to carry around all of those books and stuff.

Mate, they were always like, oh, you need a big ring binder. It's like, you don't need that. You don't get a big ring binder and then get a bag to accommodate it. Or just get a locker. You just get a locker and put it on. We didn't have lockers. Because somebody left their food in the lockers over school holidays and there was like maggots and stuff, so they took them away.

That was before I started. That was a pre-worn issue. Okay, I mean, they could have just cleared them out pre-holidays. Then told everyone off. No, they did that. It's a one strike and you're out. And then everyone was like, student council had important issues to deal with,

like, can we have lockers back? And they're like, no, not after the maggots issue. Was that Jacinda Ardern that got rid of the lockers? No, it was pre-Jacinda as well. Oh, right. It was pre-Jacinda. So she had no lockers at high school either, like you. She carried around, she had a big bag too.

But think of it, she would have had a Billabong bag. Really? Let me take you back to the 90s. I could not imagine Jacinda Ardern with a Billabong school bag. Let me take you back to the 90s. Come could not imagine a Cinderado with a billabong skull bag. Let me take you back to the 90s. Come with me on this magical journey because I can picture it right in my head. It was a very popular bag. It was a black billabong bag.

Yep. Shaped like your traditional backpack. Yep. But then the top part had like, you could get it in like a dark green or a maroon. And then the pockets on the side matched the same colour that was on the top and that was a hot bit of property.

Yeah. That was a hot bag. And lots of people had them. Did you have it? No, God no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We had

whatever the budget version of Billabong was if we were lucky. Town and country or Oh, right. Nah, because Rip Curl was pretty... Billabong and Rip Curl were too big. It wasn't a name.

It was weird. Why did we have pencil cases made by surf brands? I don't know. Was it made out of excess wetsuit material? I remember the Flash pencil cases had some Velcro, but it was just made from scraps. Oh, we never had one of those. Too expensive.

Well, I got one and then somebody wrote on it with a vivid and mum was like, you're not getting another one. So the writer just stayed on there. Right. I think I said Vaughan Sucks as well. Right. How did we go from tampon commercials to reliving your childhood traumas? School and childhood trauma.

Yeah, right. The top six is next. Ah, yeah. The US president is going to ban TikTok. Well, he reckons he'll give it a go. We'll see how it goes because of the private details being sold to China. But are the top six things US users will miss about TikTok? Fletchvorner Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. A day ago, this story from CNN said Donald Trump says he will ban TikTok from operating in the US. So this happened over the weekend, but everyone was like, well, he's not gonna be able to do that, is he? And it's kind of one of those things I guess he's said now. So everybody else has to scramble to make it happen. It's been rumored for a while. But then there was also news that Microsoft want to buy the US chunk of TikTok.

So whether or not that was a play to kind of put some pressure on them. To do it? Well, they wouldn't want to buy it unless they knew it wasn't going to be banned. I didn't know Microsoft owns, they own LinkedIn, Skype. I didn't know that. I knew they owned Skype. Yeah, right. Because they brought them out a while ago, didn't they?

Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, that's a possibility because they're just worried about China getting everybody's personal details. Somebody said that it seems to have been on the back of, have you heard of Sarah Cooper? She's the lady on TikTok

who takes on the Trump speeches and reenacts them. Oh, I love her. Like, flawlessly. So good. Brilliantly. Oh, that would be, Like flawlessly. So good. And she does it brilliantly. Oh, that would be, because he's petty like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Imagine it. Oh, that would be hilarious. He told reporters, traveling back on Air Force One, as far as TikTok's concerned, we're banning them from the United States. And someone said, would you be able to do that?

And he said, well, I have the authority. I can do it with an executive order. All that. That's pretty much him saying, I can do what I want. I or that. That's pretty much him saying I can do what I want. I know what I want. You know what I want to do. I'm a prisoner.

You don't give me word of what I want. So the top six things US TikTok users will miss out on if TikTok gets banned. Number six, a full-blown dance routine to a song you hadn't heard of but now you can't escape. I'm looking at you, Charli D'Amelio. What song's that? No, Charli D'Amelio. What song's that? No, Charli D'Amelio's the girl that does the dance.

Oh, Megan. Oh, girlfriend. I don't know people's names. Okay, grandma. Scroll through them. She's the most followed person on TikTok. Really?

She does the intense dance things. Oh, you just get the dance ones, to be honest. And the mirror needs a wipe. That's how you know you're a parent, by the way. You see your kids watching TikTok, you look over their shoulder and you're like, that bathroom could do with a clean.

She wouldn't be filming in my bathroom until she'd given the mirror a wipe with some Mr. Muscle. Number five on the list of the top six things US TikTokers will miss out on if it's banned. People lip syncing to songs and famous movie scenes. But not like the lip syncing you and I did as a kid. This is lip syncing with years of dramatic training, costuming,

and some of those choreographed dance moves we were just talking about. Bloody Charli D'Amelio. Am I right? Yeah. Wipe your mirror. It's probably her mirror too.

She makes so much money on these things she's working her own house. I need to go check her mirror. You all know she was in this there was this one and she was in like

an Adidas track pants. Okay. I think that's a very popular thing to wear for these dancers. Right. The freedom to move and comfort.

Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six things US TikTokers will miss out on are beatboxing challenges with ya boy, Spencer X. I had to look up a beatboxer. Right.

I had to find a name, but he's apparently very popular. Right, okay. He's sponsored by Monster Energy Drink. Oh, really? So that's what you want an 18-year-old encouraging your eight-year-old to drink.

Sure. Monster Energy. Number three on the list of the top six things US TikTokers will miss out on if it is banned are intense makeup tutorials made to look easy, all happening in 20 seconds. Avani Gregg.

Oh, you haven't heard of her either. Don't waz. Is that what you're saying? Don't worry? Don't waz. Don't waz about it, sis. Sis. Don't waz. Yeah. Don't whaz about it, sis. Sis. You undid everything. Don't whaz about it.

Write that down. No. Did I say don't whaz about it? No. It'll catch on. Number two on the list of the top six things US TikTokers will miss out on if it gets banned are people doing duets with that split screen thing.

Oh, the tap dancing one, though. I haven't seen the tap dancing one. Oh, don't was about it. Oh, don't was about it. I won't was about it. What shall I look? What do I search? Tap dancing.

Duet. Duet. Sure. And the number one thing US TikTok users will miss out on if it gets banned, they are in real danger, number one, of never seeing anyone over 27 ever again. Yeah.

While doing research for this piece on TikTok, because I don't know a lot about it, I came across this sad, sad paragraph about a TikTok, very famous TikTok user. Yeah. Gil Crowes is the other half of the wildly popular Crowes Brothers and is one of the oldest stars on TikTok at 26.

And I looked and I couldn't find anyone older than him that was doing well. 26. Oh, old mate, old mate on TikTok. So basically if you're over 26. Oh, old mate. Old mate on TikTok. So basically, if you're over 26. Retire. You probably shouldn't be there. Retire. Are you deleting your TikTok now?

I don't have a TikTok. I do, but it's private. I'm not ready to reveal my dance moves. I was going to say, I know you do. But I can honestly say I have not made a TikTok. Right, okay. Because. Yeah, you're too old.

I'm 11 years older than Gil, and he's considered the old boy on the block. Grandpa TikTok. Yeah, it's for the best. Mind you, Judi Dench has been doing some TikToks with her grandson, and those are pretty good TikToks. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

I hope I'm not the only one. God, you massacre that, don't you? Thank you. Is massacre still a compliment? No. Definitely not. Jessie joins us. Good morning.

Good morning, Jessie. Good morning. Now, this segment, I hope I'm not the only one, where people admit to us they do something that might be a little quirky, a little unusual, and we search the country to see if you're alone on this. So, now, as previously mentioned, I think this is probably the quirkiest one we've had. Oh, good.

Okay. So what do you do that you think you're the only one that does this? Before I finish a shower, I have to do a math equation in the fog on the shower wall. Who sets the math equation? I set it myself. And how hard are they? Is it like one plus five? No, no, no.

It's not going to be that, is it? If you're setting it yourself, you don't know the answer. Usually long division. Long division. Right. You do that thing where you draw the comma and then it's got a long roof next to it and you put a long number there and then another number there and then you work your way through.

Yep. Yep. All the way down the shower wall. Yes. All the way down. How long does it take you? I mean, it's not that long and I'm also conscious of the drought right now, so I try to keep them a little simpler these days. Yeah, that's true.

Sorry, I'm going to have to cut it down to just something in the thousands rather than something in the millions because there's a drought. Okay. So how do you know if it's correct? Do you then check it on your iPhone calculator or whatever? Not usually, but I'm pretty good at math, so I trust myself. This is weird. I always draw on the shower door, but I just draw my signature.

Every shower I draw my name. But I don't do maths equations like that. Taking it a bit far. Right. So are we taking calls from people who only do maths equations or from people like you and Jessie Megan who have to doodle on the shower. Do you never doodle on the shower? Well, I don't have glass, but even when I did, I didn't.

It's just such a fun game. Do you have a glass shower door? Do you ever doodle? Nah. And the shower I grew up with was, oh, my God, the most 1980s thing in the world. It, like, slid. And it was, like, yellow and it had decorations on it

so you couldn't see through. Oh, yeah. So someone could come in while you were having a shower and they'd never be able to see you. They couldn't see your doodle. Not even your naked outline. Oh, right. Because it was yellow.

Just give you a warped doodle. Nah, no warp. Well, you could push your doodle up against it. Yeah, right. They may have been able to see a warped doodle. Look like one of those mirrors at the carnival. Yeah. Yeah, you want to stay next to the elongating mirror at the carnival if you're naked.

Right. So are we hearing from people who I just don't think is writing your name on it enough? Like you have to work something out in the shower or? Yeah, I don't know if anyone's going to do maths equations. Signing your signature is a bit Rain Man 2 though, isn't it? Yeah. Nothing changes. There's no challenge to it.

You're just doing it. At least Jessie's stretching her brain and trying to, you know, get the old grey matter working. Yeah. I just don't know if we're not going to find someone else that does a long-form maths equation on their glass shower door. That's your relaxing time. You don't need to be, like, working your brain. Well, I mean, we can try.

We can try. 0800-DARLESS-ATM-9696. But maybe we need to hear from the shower glass doodlers this morning. Are you a shower glass doodler? Because, again, I think you'll be in a minority as well there. No, it's the perfect canvas. And then if you wait a minute, the canvas gets wiped clean. Start again.

Start over. Somebody said their partner used to draw love hearts on the shower door so that when they got in, they would see the love heart. And it went on for ages and then they finally said what's the story with the love hearts? And he was drawing them with his penis. He was smudging his Wow. Now I need to know if he

was hands free or was he just grabbing it and smudging it like a crayon against the thing doing the love hearts. Okay. Well 0800 DALARLS-AT-M, 9696, are you a shower glass doodler? And maybe you do the maths equations or maybe you do your signature. I think lots of people will draw on it.

Lots of people will draw on it. Who's got the time? Maths. That will be, if anyone's doing maths on the show. All right. Well, let's see if you're alone, Jessie. I hope I'm not the only one. Somewhat better.

Well, Jessie just joined us moments ago. Jessie's still with us. We're trying to see if you're the only one that does this. You write long form equations on the glass shower door. Yep. While it's all steamy and you challenge yourself. I like it. I like it.

I like a little bit of Sudoku shower. Oh yeah, shower Sudoku. That would be a good one. You'd have to have a, probably have to get them out of a book first, wouldn't you? Yeah, and it would be hard to transfer. Yeah. It's got to be pretty swift.

Now, do you think you're alone in this? After hearing you guys, I think so. Well, Megan doodles her signature, but joining us now, Chad, good morning. Morning, how are you? Good. Now, what do you do in the glass shower, steamy door? Well, I'm a math teacher, so sometimes if I'm sort of planning some lessons for the day and I need to work something out,

then I'll do a few equations just to get ready. But it's not every shower. Are you every shower, Jessie? Yeah, I can't finish without doing at least a quick one. How many showers do you have a day, Jessie? Do you have one in the morning and one in the evening? No, just one a day. Just have a day, Jessie? Do you have one in the morning and one in the evening? No, just one a day. Just one a day.

Okay. All right. So do you feel somewhat like normal now? Yeah. It seems like he has an excuse, though, being a maths teacher. What do you do, Jessie? What's your field? I work in payroll.

Okay. Well, that's numbers. That's numbers related, yeah. Chad thinks you're cool. Let's go to Jackie. Jackie, you do shower masks as well. Yes, I do. Yeah, I work in finance,

and sometimes something's going through my mind in the morning, so just got to work it out while it's there. Wow. Doodle on the shower. So is that something that you will then, like, get your phone and take a photo of or just writing it down was enough to kind of like

get your mind in the right space for it? Yeah, no, that's enough. It's just like, yeah, I've got to figure this out while it's in my head. And yeah, you've got your answer

and away you go. So were you, did you ever think you were a bit weird or alone in doing that? No, no, no. It served my purpose, so it was all good. Yeah, fair enough.

And Jessie, still on the line, Jessie, how does that make you feel? Yeah, it's cool to know there's others out there. It's good to know you're not alone. Good to know you're not alone, brilliant. Awesome. Jackie, thanks for your call. Some text messages.

Somebody said, I do long division in the shower too. Not every shower. And sometimes I do multiplication just to change things up. Sexy shower talk, isn't it? I do Excel formulas. It's great prep for work. So what is that? The formulas you put in a square on Microsoft Excel?

Yeah. Okay. But it just does it for you, doesn't it? I mean, you have to know the formulas. Oh, okay. You have to put in the formulas. No one knows. No one knows.

Megan, it's Excel. No one knows how to use Excel. Not even Microsoft who made it. They don't even know. They're like, good luck with this one. My husband always writes on the shower door. He works out budgeting stuff. Right.

It's a lot of equations there. Mostly addition and subtraction. And then he will write a list of things on the other shower panel. Right. And then when he gets out, he'll quickly note down what he's got written on the shower panel. And then he'll be like, all right, you need to cut back on this. And I'll be like, well, how about you save on less shower heating?

Hot water. And water. I'm currently very pregnant. Oh, okay. And I practice writing names to see what the baby's full name will be like when it's written down. Oh, that's good. To see what it looks like.

Saying it one is one thing, but writing it down is another. You've got to run it through the teasing filter, don't you? Rebecca, you used to do this when you were younger. Yeah, I did when I was at school doing NCEA and stuff. I used to do some, like, long division in algebra on the shower wall. And how did you shake the habit? Just stop going to school? No, I'm now a teacher, so no.

Oh, okay. But you don't do it anymore? No. I think it was probably because I went through the crappy sledding stage, so we didn't have all those sorts of nice walls. It was just a standard shower curtain and stuff. And then when you write it in the mould, it takes a few days for the mould to come back. Yeah, not the funnest time.

Jessie, how would you handle, would you ever move into a new place with a curtain? A shower curtain? No, we just moved into our house a couple years ago, so I think we're here for a while. Oh, right, good. You'll never go back to a shower curtain. Yeah. But have you ever, like, done a weekend at a hotel or a motel

and there's been a shower curtain and you've freaked out? Not freaked out, but I have given myself a pass in that situation. Oh, okay. I'd say make the whole room and part on the mirror. Yeah. Brilliant. All right. Some other text messages? Wow. I can see the whole room and write on the mirror. Yeah. Brilliant. All right. Some other text messages.

Wow. I can't believe there are so many. I write my fears on the wall of the shower and then wipe them off as a CBT technique. I had to look up what CBT means. Cognitive behavioral therapy. Okay. So you're writing down your fears

and then you've got the power over them imagining and you're just like, No more monsters under the bed. I write, maybe not monsters under the bed. Megan, why do you run and jump onto your bed as a grown adult? Because there's monsters under there and that's why you don't leave your feet or your hands hanging out. And that's actually how you get rid of the monsters. You write their name on the shower wall and then you run them out.

I'm going to try it. They don't exist anymore. And then I write my positive affirmations on the other glass panel. Okay. Oh, that's cool. And someone said, I'm a father of four daughters and my wife. We all share a bathroom, so I just use all their long, loose hairs that are stuck to the wall of the shower to draw pictures.

Amazing. Jessie, thanks for joining us this morning and sharing. You're definitely not alone. Woo-hoo. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. It was announced yesterday when we'll finally be seeing this television show that Megan won't stop going on about. It's just slight payback

for when Have You Been Paying Attention started and it was like I was mocked relentlessly even though I had done nothing wrong. Yeah. So this is just a slight bit of payback. And unfortunately I'll never get that payback on Fletch because

This isn't about roasting me. Who's putting that on telly? You're not wrong. So, Megan, yesterday you got a release date for Glow Up. Glow Up New Zealand. Glow Up New Zealand. Yes. 19th of August.

That judges, right? Your hosts. They're the mentors, yeah. They're the mentors. Yeah. And they were the mentors. Yeah. And they were announced also. Yes. Gigi Pekinga and Tane Tomoana.

So why are we talking about this now? It doesn't start until the 19th. Didn't you want to do this sooner to when it starts? Oh, no. She wants to do it every day. She wants to do a break every day in the lead up. She wants to count down how many sleeps. I literally said. Six sleeps. I literally said.

16 sleeps. I literally said, there's a release date. We can mention it, but I don't think we need to go on about it. That is not what you said. She said, 16 sleeps. She said, I want those things in between songs running throughout the day on the station that say, 16 sleeps to go. Megan's new TV show. Yeah, she said, 16 sleeps. And we said, 16 sleeps to go. Megan's new TV show.

Yeah, she said 16 sleeps. And we said, 16 sleeps to what? She went. So how does this show work? Because you said, I remember when you were filming it, you said there's lots of drama. There is lots of drama because the contestants are asked to do quite a lot in one day.

There's three challenges. So there's nine makeup artists from around one day. There's three challenges. Right. So there's nine makeup artists from around the country. They're so talented. And then they get set tasks. And we eliminate one each time until we find the winner. So what kind of challenges? It's not just going to be like a wing tip.

I don't know. I don't know any of them. A wing die? A wing tip. Yes. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I don't know any of them. A wing dye? A wingtip. Yes. Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's not going to be that. I'm going to imagine.

Is it like theatrical makeup? Costume makeup? It varies. Movie makeup? But like, it's not just put on some lipstick. Right, right. These are things that I couldn't do. Make them look like they've been in a car accident.

Not quite. That would be a good one, though. Because then that's up to the person to really, yeah. There's no real, like, prosthetics person. Okay, okay. It's more makeup-based. Right. But, yeah, you'll see some pretty crazy and out-there looks.

Okay, so Megan would like you to set a reminder on your phone. What date is it again? You'll be asked. You could be stopped in the street and asked at any stage in the next 16 sleeps, how many sleeps is it till glow-up starts? And if you don't know, she'll stab you. She'll do the hiss at you, too. She'll hiss like a cat.

19th of August. 19th of August. Okay, yeah, we got that the first time. The latest is next. Okay, yeah, we got that the first time. Oh, my God. Support. The latest is next. Oh, God. She was in the bloody paper yesterday.

Oh, of course. I'm surprised we haven't had this rubbed in our face. Why is yesterday's paper here? I feel like someone's just trolling me. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly. Come on. This is a special slidey-widey edition where we use the sliding scale on Instagram.

So basically we asked you a bunch of questions. When is the right time to do something in a relationship? Using the slider. The slidey. Okay, first question is, when is the right time to say I love you to your significant other in your relationship? Right.

So it started with one week and went up to one year. Okay. Fletch, how long? One week. What would the average be? You just jump in. You just jump in. Oh, first day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely first day. Is that an option? Yeah Yeah Well I guess you'd say Within the first day Definitely pre-kissing

Didn't it take you Longer than a year? You won't kiss someone Until you love them But you love them Straight away I wait until marriage Yeah

For all of that But you've been married 800,000 times It's not rag on me day It's rag on Megan Day today. I waited a long time. A very long time. Well, I'd never said it to anybody. I got to 22 without saying it to

anybody. I didn't want to like... So no one in your family? No, no, no. My family. Not very often. We weren't like a cuddly family. But I've never said it to somebody that I was like romantically interested in. So on the scale, how long was it? Well, I've said it now, so I'd probably just start doing what Fletch does if I had to said it to somebody that I was like romantically interested in. So on the scale, like how long was it? Well, I've said it now,

so I'd probably just start doing what Fletch does if I had to do it again and just start to everybody to try to get with them. No, I don't know. No, well, I've only said it to one person now. Answer the bloody question. But yours isn't on the slidey. One plus. A one plus.

Was it over a year? Shit, you're stubborn. I wasn't stubborn. I just wanted to be Was it over a year? Shit you're stubborn I wasn't stubborn I just wanted to be sure I'm rushing through these things Over a year Yeah Okay well you're not in the average That was an issue

What's the average? The average is between Three and six months Okay yeah That puts me in average We were three months Okay Right

What's the next question? Next question is When is the right time To meet your Significant other's friends? Ooh That's a big test isn't it? Yeah, because if they don't introduce you for ages, you're like, what's

And do you meet them all at once or do you like do you meet them? Trip feed. Because what a baptism of fire if your significant other goes to like a BYO and they're the only one there and everyone else is like a well established group. That can be hard. I'd recommend meeting them like one-on-one.

Yeah. A slightly more chill. In a casual cafe setting. Yes. Maybe. Yeah, definitely don't do the whole courtship like in front of your friends because that sucks. Yeah.

Like meeting, because we all met each other together and you guys were there, you know, remember? I think we were both very supportive. Yeah, absolutely. What's the answer? Very believing? Yeah. Okay.

The answer is between one and three months. To meet the friend group. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Next question is, when is the right time to get a pet together? Oh, this is, yeah.

Well, things have got to be serious. So it's got to be after the I love you, right? Yeah. No. No. What? We had the cat. And I said, I understood it because I was like, oh, she's going to figure out that she's

too good for me. So she was like, well, she's a cat. She didn't have a dependent. And I was like, well, she's a cat. And I was like, okay. And then she can't leave you. But we weren't even, like, living together. I was going to say you have to be living together. Yeah. I was staying a lot, but I guess it was her cat. Technically.

How long were you together? 2004, and then got the cat at the start of 2005. Six months? Wow. The average is three years. You're weird, man. Six months? Wow. What's the average? The average is three years. Oh, wow. Okay.

Yeah. Because what ever happened to Max Key's dog? Remember Max Key got the... Re-adopted. What? Are you kidding me? No. What, did they have a dog together?

Remember, he had the girlfriend and immediately they got a dog. And I said, Vaughn Smith, quote it. You'll be able to find it in the podcast archives too early for this. They've rushed into that. A dog is forever. By a friend of his. By a good friend of his. Right. Okay.

That's great. I told you so. When is the right time to give your significant other a key? Oh like to the house? To your house. Oh, okay. Or the flat. Oh, are you allowed to do that?

Like give them a key to the flat? Ooh. You know those keys when you have a flat and it's like, do not copy this key. Oh, like apartment keys. Blah, blah, yeah. It's between six months and one year. Okay.

Then they should get a key. Okay, okay. Because in a can, that means they've got unfiltered access to all your stuff, even if you're not there. Are they paying for the extra key at Mr. Minute? They'll definitely be paying to have the key card. Good. And last question.

When is the right time to meet your significant other's parents? Ooh. Definitely later. Is that before I love you? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you don't count because you said it after a year.

It's a long day. But it's after meeting the friend group, surely. You'd go friend group then parents, wouldn't you? I don't know. That would depend on priorities, right? Depends on the parents, too. Where do they sit at? The average is between three months and six months.

So like the best friend group? Yeah. Similar. Similar. You'd meet them all at the best friend group? Yeah. Similar. Similar. You'd meet them all at the same time, I guess. No, no. But hold on.

I'm just looking here. Your significant other's friends was just over a month, and this is just over three months. Okay, right. So friends then parents. Friends first. Okay. Yeah, parents is quite serious. You don't want to say I love you until you know all these pieces of the puzzle are okay. You don't want to be like, I love you, and then you meet their parents, and you're like,

who? You know? Yeah. Sure. Get all your ducks in a row. Yeah. All right. Boom.

Al Bomber. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. At the weekend, went for a run on Saturday after your post-yumcha, which was a huge mistake. Oh, God. It was like a couple of hours, but, you know, we absolutely hit that yum cha. How did you even do that?

I don't know. I should have gone in the morning. But, you know, I was just like, and then I ate the yum cha and I felt like I'm cloud nine. So it was a guilt run. Yeah, it was totally a guilt run.

Yeah, okay. And I left it a few hours, so I was like, that should have settled. I feel like you'd still, did it reoccur on you? Did you taste everything for the second time? yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of barbecue burps.

Yum. There's way worse things to burp, you're right. But one stage of my run, I was running and I was wearing, after we nearly ran that guy over the other night, I was driving. We killed him. Megan and I killed a guy. I'll come clean.

If a mid-30s man and your life's never been home since Wednesday, he's in the boot of my car. I cracked Megan. We killed him. I dropped Megan off. You nearly hit a guy? I dropped Megan off after Bangers Bingo. Yeah.

And we came around the corner. It was dark. We came around the corner and there was a guy just there. In the middle of the road or on the footpath? No, there was no footpath. He was on the shoulder. Was this kind of semi-rural? Yeah, semi-rural.

No streetlights. Okay. So like kind of semi-rural? Yeah, semi-rural. Okay, yep. No streetlights. Okay. So like, rurally semi-rural. Yep. And he was just there, right? I was like, shit, we could have killed that guy. Yeah. He had no reflective gear on.

I'm all for a run. He was dark. He was doing whatever, but it was dark. He'd lamp it up, dog. So I reckon, would you have been fine in court then? Like, I mean, thankfully we don't have to find out, but it was dangerous as hell. He didn't have reflective gear on.

So after that, this was during the day, mid-afternoon. It was all right. It wasn't raining or anything. I wore a very bright jacket. Because you didn't want to be hit by yourself. No, God no. And whenever there's, I'm a very bright jacket. Because you didn't want to be hit by yourself. No, God no. And whenever there's, I'm always really cautious on corners. Okay.

Because I know you're supposed to run on the side of the road that has you running towards the traffic coming your way so they can see you, right? And just so you've got a couple of seconds to be like, oh shit, get off the road. Dive out of the way if you need to. Yeah, and you can see them because if they're coming from behind you, they might not be able to hear them and they could come around.

So anyway, when I get to a corner, I always judge which is going to be the safest side of the road to go on. Okay. So conscious. And even more so after killing that guy, I mean nearly killing that guy. Last week. So I'm running along a straight piece of road

and a car is coming from behind me but on the other side of the road. Okay. And I hear it slow down. And I'm like, what am I about to be told? Am I about to be objectified? Because if I am, that's fine by me. Okay. I want to know and I'm fine with being sexually objectified.

Right. I should get that written on my jacket. It's not happening. Fine with being sexually objectified. Right. And this person starts going really slowly and they're kind of like beside me. Yep. And I look and they're looking and they pull up right to beside me and then keep going

and I've got headphones on so I'm just kind of like running and then I pull a headphone back and I look and the guy's like, 12 and a half Ks an hour in case you're wondering. Wow. Okay. Wow. Okay. Wow. That's like you. That's something good to do. I know it is.

You can slow down to get their pace. But was this like a brag that they've got a digital display that tells them how? Oh, yeah, maybe. Because mine doesn't. I've just got the needle. Yeah, you'd have to make it. So I would have to wind, I would have to slow down and be like,

anywhere between 10 and 20. Because I'm not that specific. But if they were cruising at my running speed and they had the digital. Yeah. Display, maybe there was like a brag of their flash car. Was this like an old mate? Because like you've got an Apple watch and map my run.

Yeah, I could work out my average speed and my rolling pace per kilometre, but they were really stoked. I was like, oh, thanks. And they're like, no problem. And then drove away. I'm like, wait a minute. I just said thanks.

Now that person's going to go home and say to their family, help the guy out today. But I didn't ask for his help. My thanks is more like, I don't know what to say to you. Help the guy out today. Tell him how fast he was running. Oh, cool, Dad. But I didn't ask for his help. My thanks is more like I don't know what to say to you. Yeah. Helped a guy out today. I told him how fast he was running. Oh, cool, Dad.

Did you use the digital display on the car? You know it. And then I felt like that wasn't fast enough, so I had to start. I tried to run faster, but then I got puffed. And previously mentioned Yumcha was really like weighing me down at that stage. Is that when the burps started? No, the burps had started well before that. Okay, right. Well onto nearly like, you know, like past the phase of burps and past that thing where you go,

and you just get a little bit in the back of your throat. Because it's acidic. Yeah. What's that called? Reflux? Yeah. So you're bemused because someone gave you unsolicited advice and you're like, well, thanks, but no thanks. No, because it wasn't advice.

Yeah, right. It was unwanted commentary, but it was interesting. Okay. Well, that's kind of what we deal with every day with you. Interesting. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A wedding has gone viral on TikTok Because someone made a scene

So Anna is the bride And she is marrying John She's saying her vows I'll play you this in a second But she's saying her vows And she's got to the point where she's like I love you despite your flaws Or you know when you mention their flaws

But you're like I love you for your flaws as well Because know, when you mention their flaws, but you're like, I love you for your flaws as well. Because everyone has flaws. Yeah. So she mentions the flaws and that's when John's mom, her mother-in-law-to-be, jumps up and has a go. She's not going to say my son has flaws. We'll get you guys. We'll get you guys.

You can leave. No, I don't have to leave. That trash you're wearing, we've been there. Let's calm down. Let's calm down. You're not going to ruin my day. You are not. I said I have flaws. Everybody has flaws. That's why I love them.

You can leave, Judy. You don't have flaws. You can leave. You can get out of my wedding now. I'm not leaving. That dress you're wearing, I paid for. Oh, wow. It goes on a while.

This was ongoing. Yeah. This wasn't a new issue, was it? And the mum, it's a wedding. They're in like somewhat of a church or a hall or something. And the mum's just wearing shorts and like a T-shirt. Yeah. She was not having it.

The problem I have with that is the son, her husband to me, is just standing there. I was like, step in. Say something. And tell your mum to sit down or get out. He's probably had to deal with this his whole life.

He actually does look quite downtrodden. Yeah. He's like, oh, make it stop. But she just couldn't let it go, the floors thing.

No. And then she said if anyone made her try and leave, she would have them arrested. She's like, you can make me leave, but I'll have you arrested.

Oh, wow. I'm surprised she had time to fit a wedding in her busy schedule of complaining at stores about having to wear a mask on the street of COVID-19. Yeah, maybe we should change Karen to Judy, because Judy was not having... Oh, Judy's have got to be up there with Karen's.

Right? Yeah, right up there. Right up there. But off the back of this mother-in-law having a meltdown, we thought we could talk about who made a scene at your wedding. Oh, yeah. Because it always happens. Emotions are running high. People don't always agree with the union. I mean, maybe I haven't been to that many weddings,

but I've just never been to one where there's been a scene or any dramas happened. Have you? Nah. There might be like the undercurrent of drama, but I've never seen it spill over at a wedding. Yeah. Yeah.

Not where like a mother-in-law gets up and interrupts the service. No. And just absolutely loses it. Yeah. But I'd love to hear about it. I haven't been to one, but boy, I'd love to hear. All right, well, let's see like how, if this is even that common in New Zealand.

Have you been at a wedding, maybe it was your wedding, where there's been some drama and someone made a scene, especially if it was during the, like, the vows. The vows. Because, I mean, you'd imagine later on when there's drinking and a lot of alcohol involved, there'd be a scene. Yeah. And most people leave out that part now.

Like, if anyone opposes to this, speak now or forever. Hold your peace. Everyone just leaves that out. Because you get the odd smart-ass comment, don't you? Like that you pointed at Vaughn. Some smart-ass will say something. I've never done that.

No. It happened at yours though, didn't it, someone? Oh, someone did something. So, oh, $800 again. It's been fun looking back on who you wouldn't invite to your wedding again. Yeah. Isn't it fun Looking back on who You wouldn't invite

To your wedding again Yeah Isn't that a fun Fun thing I've had two And it happens for both Alright 0800 DARS at M

Give us a call Or you can text her As well 9696 Who made a scene At your wedding A mother-in-law Has interrupted Her son's wedding

To disagree with The bride's vows By saying He doesn't have flaws And the argument Went on and on. So we want to know who made a scene at your wedding. That was an American wedding. Yeah.

That scene and that audio. Oh, but don't think this is just an American thing because we've got some doozies coming through. Kerry, good morning. Good morning, guys. So what happened? Was this your wedding? No, no. I got invited to a wedding by a work colleague.

And this is about 20, 25 years ago. And it was in Australia. And it was a beautiful wedding. The bride looked wonderful. And we were sitting under a marquee tent. And the groom got up to say his speech. And he was talking about how beautiful his bride was and all the bridesmaids and that.

And then he said he wanted to make a special mention to his best friend who'd been his mate since school. And he said, I also want to thank you for banging my wife on the hen's night. Wow. Why did he marry you? Why did he do that? Because he, it was like a revenge thing I think. And the family just went ballistic. And then he said, big shout out, he said all my family and all my friends, grab the booze, you're going to have a party at my place.

And then, and then that, did he just leave? He just left. Because this is like one of those, you know, you're going to have a party at my place. And then did he just leave? He just left. Because this is like one of those, this is like wedding folklore that you, but you actually witnessed it happening. This happened in Sydney about 25 years ago.

Wow, and you witnessed it. Dropped the grenade and then like, later. And then so because you could just not send the marriage certificate away, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah then, so because you could just not send the marriage certificate away, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what happened. It was pretty bad and really embarrassing. And it was like a tear.

He really went through with it because by the time that the hens do and the stag do have happened, you can't get any refunds on them. No, no. And his best mate started bursting into tears. It was obvious that that's what happened. Good fun, good fun. Wow, Kerry, amazing story. Thank you.

Alicia, what happened at a wedding you were at? So the wedding had gone smoothly. We were at the reception eating dinner, and my husband's uncle got a piece of chicken that to his standards was slightly a bit pink. So then he decided to get up and go to every one of my guests and say, the chicken is raw. Stop eating.

Stop doing, like, stop eating what you're eating. It's raw. It's raw. And we were like, oh, my God, what are you doing? And it wasn't. But, yeah, everyone kind of had a bit of a giggle about it. It would have been cooked in a way that wasn't, like, crock-potted to death. And he likes a dry piece of chicken.

Yeah. It was, like, size. So, like, some of the bone is a bit dark meat. It's not fresh. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, even the reception, like, the catering company was so mortified that they gave us a $400 bar tab.

So there was, like, good to the... Yeah, right. Right. I mean, that's on the lighter end of drama at a wedding, isn't it? At least... Yeah. You've got a bar tab. You've got a bar tab, exactly.

Alicia, thanks for your call. Alex, this was your sister's wedding? Yeah, it was. Okay, so what was the drama? So, like the last person, the wedding went Yeah, it was. Okay, so what was the drama? So, like the last person, the wedding went really, really well. We were at the reception and she got married quite young and the groomsman, it was his first

time doing a speech and he wrote this really great speech, but then he forgot it. And so he got really drunk and then in his speech he dropped a C-bomb a couple of times when describing the groom and talked about some drunken event that they went on, but it was all right because Tongans eat dogs and all this stuff like that,

and we're all like, what? And then my sister's ex-husband now is from a broken family, and his aunt was there, his mum's sister, and she was pissed off that no one from her family got to get up and say anything. So she just randomly stands up in the middle of dinner and starts giving this speech about her nephew and how great he is and stories from his childhood. And everyone's like, what the hell is going on? And her parents were like sitting there going, I don't even know what's happening. I don't even know who that man is that she brought to the wedding with her.

We've never met him before. This is great. Because I don't like going to weddings because, you know, sometimes they drag on. This is the kind of drama that makes it worth it. This is a true Kiwi wedding. Brilliant. Alex, thanks for your call.

Anonymous. Anonymous. What was the drama that happened at a wedding you were at? So basically me and my husband got married and there was a girl at my wedding who was getting a bit rowdy and my sister-in-law was getting a bit annoyed with her so she tried to take a swing at him and they kind of had to get separated.

And that same guest also managed to sleep with my brother that night. Wow. Okay, so quite an eventful wedding then. Definitely went down as a memorable day. Yeah. Brilliant. Anonymous, thank you. I love these dramas.

They're brilliant. Somebody said, I nearly lost it at my own mother at our wedding. I remember her saying our vows. We were in a church. Yeah. And mum opened a can of fizzy drink. And the can made a loud...

Like... What? Even if you weren't in a church, you could be in an open field, and you hear, and you look up, and your mum's, like, opening a can of Sprite. You're like, what are you doing? She's a bit dry.

Anyway, she opened a can of pop and made that really loud opening sound and then, and it echoed throughout the church. Everyone turned, and then she did one of those, like, because of water. The first sips that you do yeah to get the the as it turned out coke no sugar oh okay lip of the can and then yeah we have to say because she had lippy on and everyone was just looking at her and then after church she nipped home uh when it was like where's your mum gone? She disappeared to get changed into her second outfit. Right, okay.

She sounds great. She just really wanted attention by the sound of it. At our good friend's wedding, her dad spoke for 40 minutes for his speech. And most of it was talking about how great her sister was rather than how great she was. Wow. Someone said, I work for a company that works at weddings. So I'm imagining like catering or something. Oh, many, many stories.

That would be great because you're not invested in anyone there, are you? No. Just sit down and watch it happen. Yeah. Groom was caught shagging a bridesmaid in a toilet post ceremony at the reception. Fist fight ensued with the bride's father and the groom. That was all go. Megan's jaw's just like on the floor.

You just married them. Yeah. You just married them. Yeah. And then you're like. I can't understand. It's such a big. Wow.

Weddings are this massive undertaking and they cost money. Yeah. I just couldn't imagine doing it unless you were like really into the person. Yeah. To be like, I'm going to keep playing up on the side. I don't know, it's just fascinating. We had a wedding guest who ended up getting arrested and hogtied. And the best man ended up in the ER.

Luckily, this all happened after we'd already left for the night. See, if it was my wedding and I paid for it, I'd kind of want to see the drama. Just get my money. My mother-in-law cried at the reception because I wouldn't have a one-on-one dance with her. Okay. I don't know if to see the drama Just get my money Yeah My mother-in-law Cried at the reception Because I wouldn't have A one-on-one dance with her Okay I don't know if that's the groom

I haven't meant that much to her Yeah why didn't you Just dance with your mother-in-law You've got to dance with Do you? Hmm My sister had a meltdown In the middle of the photos

In front of all the guests At my wedding She just screamed I just want a F-ing drink Not about you Okay Someone said Oh my god That text you got about of all the guests at my wedding. She just screamed, I just want a effing drink. Not about you. Okay.

Someone said, oh my God, that text you got about the father of the groom's speech for 40 minutes talking about how great my now sister-in-law was. That was my wedding. Oh.

Someone messaged you, that was mine. Unless it's happened multiple times. It was really, really bad. Oh. There you go. You've heard from that side of it now and they thought it was bad too.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about, you know those little magic erasers stuff that you like clean, like if you scuff the wall. Oh my God, those things? And you get that little foam square and you run it under some water and then you go. I love those things. And they're magical.

They are magic sponges. Yeah, magic sponges. Yeah, they take the marks off the walls. Incredible. You know magic sponges? Gotta be careful though, because you'll. Take the paint off too. If you go too deep, you'll take the marks off the walls. Incredible. You know magic sponges? Gotta be careful, though, because you'll... Take the paint off, too. If you go too deep, you'll take the paint off.

Right. Well, today's fact of the day is there is nothing magical in the magical eraser. It is soundproofing foam. What? There's nothing magical in the little magical eraser. Right. It's soundproofing foam. So, you know how it's like Mr. Clean, magic eraser, and you. Right. It's soundproofing foam.

So you know how it's like Mr. Clean, magic eraser, and you're thinking, what's in this? Yeah. It's not. When you rub it on things, and it's why you can't rub for too long or too hard, it is basically a tiny sandpaper. It's abrasive. Right.

And that's why when you're rubbing it and it kind of starts to dissolve in your hand is you're wearing it down. It's not the magical chemical formula in it that's only got so much before it gives way. I wondered why. Yeah, okay. It's abrasive. And the water just makes it able to rub easier.

Yeah, right. You can do it dry. It acts like sandpaper on a really, really, really tiny level. And all that the cleaning companies discovered was that this stuff will act like an abrasive and take it off. It is a melamine foam consisting of formaldehyde melamine sodium bisulfate copolymer. Oh, yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, that's the... So it's also used commonly

around like hot pipes. Okay. You know, if you've got a hot water pipe and you're hot water cylinders away from the tap, sometimes there's insulated pipe around it. Pool noodles. Pool noodles, yeah. Isn't that a pool noodle? No, because a pool noodle...

Pool noodle. Noodle pool. Pool noodle. Yeah. Oh, that was very complicated. I had to rewind my brain to be able to do that. Pool noodles. No, they melt. They're a different kind of.

Yeah, they're a different. They're a bigger, chunkier foam. Right. But this is like, and soundproofing. So, you know, if you've ever been into a recording studio and it's got that foam on the wall. Yeah. Like a soundproofing foam or somebody has soundproofed a room.

Sometimes movie theaters have them. Yeah. on the wall. Yeah. Like a soundproofing foam or somebody has soundproofed a room. Sometimes movie theaters have them. Yeah. On the walls. Yeah, okay. It is often that exact same foam. Wow. You couldn't use a black one, could you? It'd have to be white.

Good call. Do you think? Because they're always white. Yeah, it's abrasive, so it might leave a black stain on it. But yeah, all the black stuff is it's been colored to be black so that you're not in a movie cinema or anywhere and it's just like bright white walls that would slightly distract. So is there a cheaper place to buy this stuff?

Yeah, you can buy it in bulk as insulation fun. I don't know why you'd need to buy like a trailer load of Magic Eraser. So Magic Eraser, they did a comparison. I mean, this is in Walmart, so this is already pretty cheap. You can get two for two bucks, American. But then you could find generic melanin foam, which worked out for 100 of them for about $5. Oh, okay.

Yeah, the same square footage, and you could cut your own. Look, because you know I love to buy in bulk. You do love to buy in bulk. I just don't have that many marks on my wall. Yeah. It's insulation and sound insulation for bullet trains because they go so fast and it absorbs the high sound and also creates insulation for heat and cold, but it's also very lightweight.

Wow. Okay. Well, that is today's 50K fact of the day. Make sure you're listening at 12 and 4. We're going to ask you a question about that. And if you get through and answer that correctly, all thanks to Save My Bacon, a safe place to borrow money online,

$500 each time up for grabs. So today's fact of the day is the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser sponge is nothing more than soundproofing foam. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM.

Bluff or Stuff. Jess, good morning, Jess. Good morning. All right, so do you know how Bluff or Stuff works? I have a fair idea. Okay, well, I'll explain it for you and everybody listening now, just so we're all on board.

One of us is holding a prize. Your prize, which is a fragrance, one of us is holding a prize. Your prize, which is a fragrance, Good Girl, by Carolina Herrera. It's fancy. It's actually a shoe, isn't it? It's a heel. It's a high heel. She was ugly Betty, wasn't she? Carolina Herrera. That's American Herrera.

Close one. Don't laugh, Jess. Who are the people? Laugh at that. You've encouraged him. So Carolina Herrera, she makes those little balls of chocolate with the hazelnut in it. Herrera Rochette. Don't laugh, Jess.

You can see my confusion. I like that one. Okay. So we're all going to tell you that we're holding it, Jess. You've got to correctly identify which one of us is to win the prize. Now, this is a carryover prize from last week, isn't it?

It is. We're very good liars. Did we say who was holding it last week? Is that a clue? Or no? No. I don't think we should.

Okay. Okay. This is hard, Jess. This is hard. Well, it is a beautiful, it's a midnight blue shoe, like a stiletto. It has a gold heel with little stripy bits on it.

You've used this for ages, haven't you? You always get compliments about this. It's yummy. But that's how she knows. She's not just scrubbing the box, she's scrubbing the bottle. Well, I can tell you the box has like a nice velvet feel on it. It's like embossed on the outside. Well, I can tell you that because I'm holding it.

Well, how close are you guys to each other? I'd say we're socially distanced. 1.5. Okay, so it's not possible you're both holding it then? No. Oh, no, that's cheating. No, that's against the rules. It's against the genetic convention.

Yeah, we can't lie to you like that. So you can both see it then anyway. We can all see it. That's right. We're not messing with some amateur here, are we? We're not messing with some Jesse come lately. We've got a private investigator on the line. Do I just take a wild guess?

I mean, you can ask questions, I guess. I'm going to take the reverse psychology angle this week. I'm not holding it, Jess. How many mils is in it? I don't know. I'm not holding it. It's 80 mils. 80 mils. Oh, you took too long. It's because you're not holding it, Jess. How many mils is in it? I don't know. I'm not holding it. It's 80 mils. 80 mils.

Oh, you took too long. It's because you're not holding it. He was just trying to find the details on the piece of paper in front of him. Have you opened the flap on the box? Weirdly, because I would have thought this would have been self-explanatory. Well, you said it was a shoe, so it must be out of the box. No, no. No, no.

We're just aware it's a shoe from last time. And we've seen the photo. But there's an instructional how to use it, and you push a button and perfume comes out. Oh. Okay, I'm pretty sure that Megan's holding it. Okay. I'm pretty sure you don't press a button and perfume.

Well, on the top there's a button. Yeah. I'm just going to go for Megan, all right? There is. The little dispenser's on the heel. There is.

So, you know, okay, you're just going to go straight out and say Megan's holding it. Yeah. That is incorrect. Oh, it was. So sorry.

It was born. It was born like it was. Look, there is literally a thing on the inside for the button. It just sounded so stupid. I know, but it is stupid. Who doesn't know how to work perfume?

It does sound pretty stupid. It's not the shape of a shoe. It's a different dispenser. Yeah, but then you'd see the squirty bit and you'd be like, oh, well, vis-a-vis, the button that squirts is just behind it. It's just an easier option, I suppose. Jess, I'm sorry, but you haven't won Bluffelstuff, and Bluffelstuff returns at a later time with the same prize up for grabs.

I didn't even get to use the tissue box that I went and grabbed. I was going to say this is a box. Close. Again, I'm not holding it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. And there's news from the medical desk this morning. Oh, this is a whole story. I read the headline.

I thought, that's interesting. Man who lost his penis becomes first in the world to have new one built on his arm. That's actually amazing. It is. It's fascinating. And then there's pictures of it, but they're kind of blurred. Right, okay. But there must be some medical photos of it somewhere.

Okay, so let's start from the start. How did he lose it? He had an infection that turned into sepsis. So it went septic. This is why you've always got to put a little dob of detol ointment on. Don't hold back on anything. This is when you get a course of antibiotics.

You don't get them willy-nilly. And his fingers has toast and his penis turned black. Oh wow, okay. And then in 2014 it fell off.

Why did he not go to the doctor? I don't know. Is this just a stubborn bloke? I knew deep down it was gone and I was going to lose it. And then one day a judge dropped off onto the floor and I picked it up and put it in the bin. Quote. Wow.

You are making this up. Is this from a trusted news source? Yeah. There's photos of him and everything. I went to the hospital and they said the best they could do for me was to roll up the remaining stump like a little sausage roll. It was heartbreaking. And so he was in his 40s and stuff at the time.

He had a couple of kids and everything, so it wasn't like he was worried about that. His GP said, I've been doing some research, and Professor David Ralph is also known as the penis master, as an expert in phallus reconstruction at the University College Hospital in London. Okay. So then he got given a referral, and he went in, and the guy said, oh, yeah, all hope is not lost.

We'll be able to build you a new one. Now, at that stage, do you reckon they give you, like, a book? Like a clear plastic folder and you get to pick one? Because what would you pick? He's got two extra inches out of it. Did he ask? Okay. Can you request, like, specific size?

Well, so they take a flap of skin on your arm and they, like, roll it up to create it. And then it's going to have, like, it it up to create it. And then just stuff some. And then it's going to have, like, it has blood vessels and everything in it. Oh, wow. And it'll have nerves. And then they create a bit down the middle with a tube. Yep. Okay.

And then there's two tubes in it that will be able to be inflated with a hand pump to give you, oh, wow. That? That. Now, it's not like when you go to Subway and you get the 5-inch and someone else got the 7 from the footlong. Explain? What do you mean by that? What I know.

They're making it out of his arm. They didn't cut it off and put it on there. Oh, they didn't just get a pre-made one? No, no, no, no. It's not pre-made. It's his arm skin. Yeah, he baked his own bread. So then when that happened, as it became detachable,

they detached it so only the base of it was there, so it dangles. Oh. And it just grows on his arm. Yeah, and it's there and it's got like blood going through it and everything, so when the time comes for the operation, they can just nip it off there and reattach it. Questions, Your Honour. I don't know if I'm going to have the answers.

Okay. How long did this whole process take? Like how long was it on his arm? It still is on his arm because there's been a series of delays. And then, of course, 2020 hits and COVID takes over. And so it just keeps getting delayed. He said it's been on his arm for like four years. Four years he's got a doodle on his arm.

Yeah. What do you think? He's got a sock to hide it? Yeah, how does he like go for a swim? Is he wearing like a long sleeve rachet? Long sleeve shirts all day, every day for four years. Because could he be done if it popped out of his sleeve? Because he'd be done with it.

Decent exposure. Technically that's a penis. Yeah. Oh, my God. But then the hospital's like, this isn't all on us for the delays because he's had a couple of appointments that he cancelled last minute and one he just didn't turn up to. Right.

How serious is he taking this new penis? He's probably playing with himself. We've all been late because of that. But, yeah. That's incredible. Isn't it? Hasn't someone grown an ear on their arm? You could grow,

and then there was that one where they were growing them on the back of mice. Yeah, that's right. Like ears and noses were being grown on the back of a mouse. You'd want at least a rat if it was going to grow your penis though, just for size sake.

That's incredible. Isn't it? Yeah. Isn't it? And so we won't know if it's successful. Has it been a successful operation before? This is a world first. A world first.

To grow it on your own arm. There's been a transplant before. But this would technically be like transplanting it anyway, wouldn't it? Yes. But do you still need the hand pump? Yeah, you still will need the hand pump. God, you've got to be careful there. I've actually exploded a bike tire.

Went past 80 PSI. You know he doesn't have the pump in there at the moment. Like, what would be the point of having a forearm erection? No, I mean, not now. But you said, will he still have the pump? Yeah. No, no, when it goes on to his groin. That's when he'll have the pump attached.

There's a tube in there. Right. But no pump attached at present. Thankfully. It's going to get in the Right. But no pump attached at present. Thankfully. Said it'd get in the way on your forearm, wouldn't it? Gives new meaning to the word fourie, doesn't it? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.