ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 3rd December 2021

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Cotton On  Breastfeeding on a Plane  Top 6: RnV  Who gets drunk at Christmas?  Vaughans Charity  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Vaxxed Hookups Poll  Don't Get Fletch Started!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleetspawn and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleetspawn. Hello, welcome to the Fleetspawn. Hello, welcome to the Fleetspawn. Are you okay? Excuse me, excuse me. Jared wasn't ready.

Jared, please. Oh, did he not record those? Jared wasn't ready to record. Hello, welcome to the, hello, welcome to the. Can we leave those in? Hello, welcome to the Fleetspawn. We're not leaving in. Megan and the

No Excuse me, everybody Hello and welcome to the Fletchford and Megan podcast Brought to you by About 34,000 followers on Snapchat For McCafe Great Barista Made Coffee on the go No, you don't He doesn't tell you how many people follow

It does now That's your snap score, dick Oh my god Sweet is sweetie sweetie how many followers do i have you're gonna hear this in the podcast but dad has logged back into snapchat after like a five-year hiatus it's changed so much um and he's he's been hassling georgia because she's not at work yet and i know where she is you've looked on the snap maps and he's found all the filters that we've all been using for the last five years you look great as a baby because she's not at work yet. And I know where she is. You've looked on the snap maps and he's found all the filters that we've all been using for the last five years.

You look great as a baby. I'm good as heck. And you as a bald with the earrings. I've got a friend request. Yeah. I don't know Anita. I can't be friends with her. No, no, you can't.

It's a stranger danger. I'll be friends with her. I don't care. You can't do, no, you don't know her. Now, how do I find my memories? Because I've downloaded a whole lot of filtered photos. Okay, so open the camera. Camera?

How do they know I look like that? Because it looks at your face. Open the camera. And then on the left-hand side of that is a little files icon. No. Show me. Right-hand side? Left-hand side.

Sorry, down the bottom. Right down the bottom Next to the button Up Yep That one Yeah There I am Now

Cute dad Download Export snap And then Are you going to put these on Instagram No Oh you just saved them I'm just going to send them to our group

To show you guys how funny I look As all these different things Okay right So stand by for that Great content Have you done that Should we download your vaccine pass now our group to show you guys how funny I look as all these different things. Okay, right. So stand by for that great content. Have you done that? Should we download your vaccine pass now? Shut up.

I would just like to finish this. I've brought you into this world. I'll take you out. I would like to finish this podcast by apologizing to producer Jared, who I have slandered during this podcast intro. I said he wasn't ready. Apparently he was ready. Yeah.

Okay, that's good. And he's going to leave in all your failed starts. And there's another reason why I've slandered him, which you'll find out soon in the podcast. What a tease. What could it be? Thanks, Rachel. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Happy Friday and happy Traffic Lights Day. Yeah. Yeah. Happy red or orange? Happy we can go and do things in Auckland. I don't know if I would have gone to the movies at midnight. Like, if people were going to bars.

Yeah. Just because they were so excited to finally get to a bar again. Yeah, I don't know. I probably would fall asleep. The part of the news story where people went to James Bond, my favourite part was the woman who worked at the cinema's name

is Sonia Mussolini. Like Mussolini. Like Mussolini. Fascist leader of Italy in World War II. You think about it, if you became a fascist dictator, born Smith, you'd ruin the name.

Gaddafi. But after Muammar, our third cousin Muammar Gaddafi, he family's name is Gaddafi. But after Murma, our third cousin Murma Gaddafi, Oh, he ruined your name for me. Ruined the family name Gaddafi. We just changed to Smith. She's trying to bring Mussolini back. Probably long enough.

Probably long enough. It's a great name. It rolls off the tongue. Is the word ready for a Stalin though? I don't know. Or a Hitler? No, never ready for a Hitler. No,

not even ready for that moustache. Oh, I know, he robbed it. He fashioned. Well, I really want to know

more about Sonia Mussolini. Excuse me as I do a deep dive. Right. James Bond definitely on my list of movies and Dune.

Dune? Did you say Dune or June? Dune. That looks like a cinematic masterpiece. Eternals. Yeah. Spider-Man later this month. House of Gucci.

Even though everyone says it's bad. I'm going to miss that. I'll give that one a wide berth. Everybody's saying that's bad. I don't care. I need to see it for myself. Yeah. Okay.

Coming up on the show, the top six you would have heard yesterday. R&B has been postponed until Easter. Correct. That's going to be a roll of the dice with weather, isn't it? You're going to have a 14-day window to get a refund for tickets. Otherwise, they'll hold over until Easter. So I've got the top six new names for Rhythm and Vines, given that it's happening at a different time of the year.

All right, next on the show, though. Cotton On is in the news. This is wild. Not for its cheap T-shirts. No. Different reason. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. So Cotton On is in the news.

The clothing place. Cotton On Body, Cotton On Kids. They do a lot of other, I don't want to say crap. Paraphernalia. Things that aren't clothes. Almost like, because I was going to say it's almost like typo stuff, but I know they own typo. Yeah.

So it's that kind of stuff. Well, they posted this on their Instagram that they are going into adult fun toys. Stepping into the world of adult fun toys. Good vibes only. We want to make sure you're comfortable. The following page contains sex-related products and sexual wellness information. And it says, would you like to continue?

Yeah. So to clarify, and I think a lot of people will like got their guard up straight away. Yeah. Before they looked into the details of it. It's only going to be in their online store. You're going to buy them online.

Right, so you're not going to be in their store and accidentally wander into... You're not going to go into Cotton On Kids with your child and see a dilly. Come on. Boo. And so a lot of people were like, this is cool.

They're de-stigmatising, you know, like sex toys. Yeah, because supermarkets have tried this, haven't they? Have they? Australian supermarkets have, like the ones that are owned by. Did they? Yeah. What do you mean? Was it Coles or Woolworths?

They said we're going to put some in, you know, the section where the Connie's are in the lube. Yeah. Because they have. They do have little ones. Yeah. Because they have little ones. They do have little ones. And they were like, well, we might just chuck a couple more in there. But Australia's very conservative.

More conservative than we are, right? Yeah. And they were like, no way. But what's the difference really? Well, yeah. With what they've already got there. I guess it's just parents have to explain to kids what that is. Don't go there with your kids. already got there. I guess it's just parents have to explain to kids what that is. Don't go there with your kids.

To the supermarket. No, like that particular part. Or that area, yeah. Or like, you know, just go there without them. Look, I've just popped along to Cotton On. There was a confusing moment there. My silence just before was it said, do you want to go to the New Zealand store or Australian store?

And every time I clicked on the New Zealand store, I store? And every time I got going to the New Zealand store, I couldn't find them again. Right. They're not cheap. How much are they? $120 for a Smile Makers vibrator. I mean, I don't know how much they cost. Satisfyer Pro, $2.60.

Oh, yeah, right. You get one on special. Or you're going up against... Two of those for the same price. You're going up against one of the... The biggest, the most popular. Yeah, the most popular adult fun toy in a long time. Yeah.

You've got to beat them on price, surely. Cute colours, though. Davinia wrote... They've been doing this for a while, though, because this review's from two months ago. Davinia wrote, so smooth, it's quiet and very secretive. Right. On the

$120 one. But there's another one called The Tennis Coach. That's the name of it. The Romantic was the one I was looking at. The Tennis Coach is $69.95. It's yellow and the end of it looks like a tennis ball. Ah, right. Okay. This

one's got a couple of five stars. A four star and a three star. But again, $70. Tell me what the three star person says. No, no written. You can just opt to write it. The next one is called The Frenchman. Oh, okay.

It's shaped like the Eiffel Tower. No, it's not really. It's all right. It's all right to you. It's that one when I sent that photo to the group I was like, what does that one do? A spatula. No, not the spatula tower. It looks like a scoop.

Yeah, like an ice cream scoop or something. It looks like a miniature scoop. But that's called the Frenchman. And the millionaire that one's kind of bullet shaped. Is that the $120 one? No, that's $70 as well. I thought their pricing were on the wrong way.

The romantic is the one that's $120. Okay, right. Yeah, obviously a lot of people are worried that they're going to go into cotton on and their kids are going to be like, what's that, mummy? That's not going to happen. Hey, your kids can go into your bedside drawer and be like, what's this, mummy? Tell kids to mind to happen. Kids can go into your bedside drawer and be like, what's this, mummy? Tell kids to mind their own bloody business and don't go where they shouldn't be.

Set some boundaries. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. So you got a new dog this year, Vaughan, a rescue dog. Correct, I did. It's name, Richie. You didn't name that. Correct, he came named. He was named after All Blacks captain Richie McCaw

and his name's not Richie McCaw or Richie McC He was named after All Blacks captain Richie McCaw, and his name's not Richie McPaw or Richie McClaw or anything. It is straight up Richie McCaw. Right. We just call him Richie. You don't use the last name? If you drop the last name, is it going to be Smith now? Richie Smith? Oh, no.

We just call him Richard. If he's in trouble. If he's naughty. I call him like Richard III or... Right. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, not too much of a last name. Well, a site has a dog. Richard III or... Right. Yeah, I don't... Yeah, not too much of a last name.

Well, a site has a dog... It's like a dog sitting dog services website. Rover.com has listed the most popular dog names for 2021. This is cute. Usually we get baby names. Yeah. Richie, not on the list. That does not surprise me. It is a terrible name for a dog.

So these are the, I've got the top 10 male and female most popular dog names. So see if your dog is on this list or if you need a dog name, maybe steer clear of these most popular ones because they're already being used. Jack is number 10. Juke. Teddy. Teddy, like a cute little teddy. Yeah.

Leo, number seven. Cute. Well, it's very popular, isn't it? Yeah, well, he's, yeah. Beer, like your cat. Yeah, yeah. That is more of a dog name. Yeah, Rocky, Buddy, Milo, Charlie, and Max.

Max, the most popular male dog name. That's the dog in Secret Life of Pets, right? Is it Max? Maybe. That's very standard. Yeah, great dog name, though. Stella in the girls' names, female dog names. Molly, Bailey, Lily, Zoe, Lola.

Lola? Lola? Lola. What number you're up to? I reckon I know number one. Daisy's number four. Lucy's number three. Luna is number two. Is Bella number one?

Yes. Bella's always number one. How did you know that? It's always number one. So you can literally go to a dog park anywhere in the world and be like, Bella. Oh, totally. Bella.

Yeah. Totally. Is it bad if your human like, Bella! Oh, totally. Bella! Yeah. Totally. Is it bad if your human name is Bella? Bella Hadid. Yeah. I don't know too many Bellas. Do you know too many Bellas? No, Isabella's go Bella or Izzy. A very versatile name, Isabella, when it comes to

nicknames. No, I don't know too many Bellas. Right. That's probably why. Well, maybe steer clear of that list. For you humans or your dog? Both. Come up with something original. Hey, Leo's cute. Good to see Fido's back on the list for humans then.

If you're about to have a baby. Absolutely knock yourself out. No one's using it for dogs. The top six is next on the show. R&V has been postponed. It hasV has been postponed. It has been until Easter 2022. So a few months there, I've got the top six new names for it, given its new date.

From the first class ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hi, top six today dealing with Rhythm and Vines. It is postponed. Yeah, so apparently they said on the news last night, 14 days to get a refund if you can't make it at Easter, which is when it's been postponed to. Otherwise, your tickets, if you still want to go at Easter, just... Your same ticket will work then. Yes, same ticket.

Just hold on to that. Yeah. No, I can't remember what I was going to say. Jesus. Jesus will be gutted. He's got plans. Yeah, he's got plans. He's just going to be hanging around. Because I was wondering if they were going to do

Waitangi weekend, but that's... Homegrown. Homegrown. So all the acts would be in Wellington anyway. Right. Gotcha. But maybe by then, do you think there'll be a chance for some international acts?

Perhaps. Maybe a few more Australian. Yeah, maybe. then, do you think there'll be a chance for some international acts? Perhaps. Maybe a few more Australian. Yeah, maybe. Fingers crossed. The top six names for Rhythm and Vines is going to need a rebrand. Because it's Easter. It's Easter. Number six, Crucified Jesus and Vines.

Another thing, it says Easter, like dragging your children to church to hear the story about how a man was nailed to a cross and had rocks thrown at him. That is a terrifying story for children who can't grasp when they're like, when he's like, forgive them, Father, they know not what they do. They're throwing rocks at the man. Maybe that'd be a good place for a selfie up on the cross next to the R&B letters. Oh, yes.

So fine on my Insta. Art, rhythm, and vines. The and is the cross, and you are up on it like, ah. That's great. And you gave a couple of criminals nailed to the R and the V. Yeah. So it was the old story. Those guys, it was a Brian in the life of Brian. You get the whole team in.

Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six names for rhythm and vines since that's happening at Easter. Rhythm and hot cross buns. Yes. And don't go stingy on the sultanas in them or the fruit peel.

Fruit peel. Orange or lime. And the butter. Lots of butter. Lots of butter. Toasted. Goes without saying. Number four on the list of the top six names for rhythm and vines now that it's happening at Easter is number four, probably raining in vines. Oh, yeah. I mean, New Zealand weather's unpredictable at the best of times.

Even in bad autumn stuff. Yeah, bad autumn stuff. Number three on the list of the top six names for rhythm and vines now that it's happening at Easter, rhythm and Catholic guilt. You go have a boogie and then, I don't know, do your nangs, whatever the kids are doing to make it more fun. And then in the morning when you're feeling like an absolute trash bag, you can go to a little confessional.

Catholic priests will of what you did last night. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I... Here's my list. Yeah. I S-dropped. On the D-floor. Friday will be the 15th of April. It's a bit late, eh?

It's not like a March. Okay. Number three on the list, two on the list of the top six names to rhythm and vines are chocolate eggs and vines. I was thinking that would be good. They could have an Easter egg hunt. Yeah. Oh, that'd be great.

Have a great big Easter egg hunt. Or put a giant chocolate egg and you get your photo next to the R&V letters in the egg. That would look kind of cute. You're in the egg. Yeah, you're in the egg. You know, like a barley nest. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, true. Oh, yeah, cute. Gotcha. And number one on the list of the top six names for rhythm and vines. Now it's happening at Easter. Rhythm and the still unvaccinated locals. See if we can get them vaccinated by then, eh? Yeah.

See what we can do. That is today's top six. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. You see some crazy shit on planes. And this incident, they're calling it, has come to light and been shared on Reddit after a screenshot of a message being sent from the cockpit to the airline staff on the ground was shared.

So someone screenshot it. They said it's an A-cars in flight message. It reads, person in 13A is breastfeeding a cat and will not put cat back in its carrier when F.A. requested. Wow.

So there was a woman in her seat who was attempting to breastfeed a cat mid-flight. Okay, I'm going to Google this and it's going to be on my Google search history forever. I don't want this held against me.

What words are you going to use? Can a human breastfeed a cat? Sure. Okay. Should a human breastfeed a cat? The cat has sharp teeth. That's all I can think of. But also, is it a kitten?

What's a little... Because you know when kittens and dogs and cats are born, they're like blind and their eyes aren't open and they look like little wabbits. Kitten? What's a little... Because you know when kittens and dogs and cats are born, they're blind and their eyes aren't open and they look like little wabbits. So a woman who claims to be a flight attendant that was on this flight said the woman had one of those hairless cats swaddled up in a blanket. So it looked like a baby whose shirt was up and she was trying to get the cat to latch and she wouldn't put

the cat back in the carrier and the cat was screaming for its life. It would have looked like a baby Voldemort. Yeah. One of those cats swaddled up to look like a baby would look like baby Lord Voldemort. Also, yuck. Would it use its sandpapery tongue? Yeah. So, okay, Wikipedia has an entire section on human to animal breastfeeding.

It says it's been practiced in many different cultures in many time periods. The practice of breastfeeding or suckling or bitty between humans and other species has gone in both directions. Okay. I mean, it's not for me. No, it's certainly, yeah. I've breastfed a child and yeah. I mean, even that wasn't the greatest fun. I like how you're kind of holding your, kind of blocking off the.

I'm so thankful that I stopped breastfeeding before he got teeth. Imagine doing it with a cat. On a plane in front of people. When the cat doesn't want to. Yeah, what is wrong with people? The cat, I've not even thought about the cat's consent. The flight attendant said the cat was screaming for its life. It did not want to.

I don't like cats. I don't like her and Boutette. I don't like picturing it. The cat was like a, what do they call them? An emotional port. A companion, yeah. I thought they'd got rid of America and changed the rules on that. Because there was a time when people were bringing all kinds of bloody stupid things,

like turkeys and rabbits. You just had to say, I need it for my anxiety on flights. Didn't someone try to get a miniature pony on there? Yes, they did a miniature pony. My bloody godfathers, what's wrong with the world? Today, the 3rd of December, and today, well, actually at midnight, the country went into the traffic light system. People actually went to the movies in Auckland

and out to bars last night at midnight. The roads were busier this morning. They were. They were. I was like, where's everyone going? But then I forgot that it kicked in last night at midnight. Well, a lot of workplaces, some workplaces are waiting in red areas until it goes to orange,

but other workplaces are opening up with all the rules. What does it mean? Yeah, so I mean, a lot of people have questions like bars and cafes. I guess the best info, covid19.gov.nz It has different categories, so for hospitality, you can click on that for details.

Now, some people have been having trouble getting their vaccination passports from the Ministry of Health, whether or not there was an error for some people when they were inputting your vaccine information, or you have had trouble logging on to RealMe. Some people have had trouble with that kind of stuff. There was a 12-year-old who got one of those exemption things

because she had the first vaccination, but it didn't officially get recorded. That's annoying. Yeah. Yeah. So the Ministry of Health have sent out 70,000 temporary letters. Okay. So if you're in a business that you may have to accept that, you will have to accept that.

So just be aware that's a thing. Red. Will be used when there is an outbreak and the health system is facing an unsustainable number of hospitalizations. However, unlike at current alert levels, everything will be allowed to remain open during an outbreak. Okay.

Hospitality will be open, but patrons need to be seated and separated. Doesn't mention masks though, does it? But obviously masks, and then when you're eating, not? Yeah, when you're eating, take them off. Or just have a little hole. Have a little hole.

A little flat. Finger the sausages and the eggs and stuff through. Through. Thinking about brunch there. Gyms and hairdressers will be allowed to open. And these will all require a vaccine certificate. I'm interested to see what it's going to be like going to the gym today. Yeah.

I'm going after work. For the first time. It's all spaced. I've promised myself I'm going after work. Okay. Oh, my God. It's all spaced. I've promised myself I'm going after work. Yeah, okay. Oh my God, you know what? What? So when we went into lockdown,

I just chucked the gym bag in the corner. No. I thought the protein shaker I had in there had powder in it. Yep. It didn't. It had juice in the bottom. Throw it out.

Throw it out. Why is that juice so disgusting? So, you know, you leave it for a weekend and it's a real pungent stink. You leave it for like a week. It's gross. A month. Yuck. What about a hundred and something days?

109 days. I don't even know how to describe the smell. Had it started growing something new that we haven't seen on earth before? It smelled synthetic. It smelled like a chemical factory. So, yeah, gyms open today in red You're allowed weddings, funerals Gatherings and places of worship

And at Marae It'll be limited to a 100 person capacity Based on 1 metre spacing If vaccine certificates are used 10 people if they're not used You'll still be encouraged to work from home For places where vaccine certificates aren't used, similar settings to Alert Level 3 will apply

like contactless retail, hospitality like you'll be able to do click and collect, that sort of stuff. You've got to keep a record of where you're going. Masks are mandatory on flights, public transport, taxis, retail, public venues and it is recommended they are worn whenever leaving the house.

Right, so for Aucklanders and people that have already been locked down for a long time, that's going to be, you're going to be used to doing that. Totally. But some regions that aren't used to doing that. Yeah. It might take a bit of getting used to. Orange, for all of the South Island and a lot of the North Island, businesses that use vaccine certificates, there's no cap on numbers.

Okay. But some public health measures like distancing will mean that effectively, unless you've got unlimited space, it will be capped in some way. Right. Schools are open, but with public health measures. Gatherings, churches, marae are all able to operate as normal if they use vaccine certificates. Scanning in, like, you know, using the COVID tracer app,

still mandatory and masks are mandatory on flights, taxis, public transport, public venues, and it is recommended they're worn whenever they leave the house. Okay. Green is something we can look forward to, and we'll talk about that later, kids. ZM's Fleece Worn and Megan. Play ZM. Play ZM's Flee Fleetspawn and Megan Thanks Rachel, good morning, welcome to the show

Fleetspawn and Megan, it's 6 minutes past 7 Ooh, today it's your pick for Flashback Friday Yeah, I haven't like cemented one yet Okay, 8 o'clock, you've got to pick a song that's got to be at least 10 years old Mmm And a banger. I just want to say, I received a message from the West Coast New Zealand Instagram account.

Oh, okay. This is the official Instagram account of the entire West Coast. Such a beautiful spot. I'm talking South Island, West Coast. They said they are really trying to up the vaccination rates. And they were wondering if we could tell people about Car Up for Jabs. They are offering a brand new Ford Escape or a two-wheel drive four Ranger. Yeah.

If you get vaccinated. What do you mean? If the West Coast can be double vaccinated by Christmas Eve, someone is going to win a car. Oh, you go on the draw. You made it sound like everyone gets one. Everybody gets a car. Get a job and get one of these two. Get a grip. win a car. Oh, you go on the draw. You made it sound like everyone gets one. You made it sound like everybody gets a car. Get a job and get one of these two.

Get a grip. Get a grip. They're not giving a Ford Ranger to everybody that gets a double jab. Get your wording right, otherwise I definitely would have shared that on Facebook. But then that's the thing. They go down, they get their jab, they're like, where's my car?

And they say, T's and C's. You're B-I-T-C-H. Well, that's pretty good. Go on the draw to win a Ranger. Yeah. He said it seems like a bit of a stretch T's and C's, you B-I-T-C-H. Well, that's pretty good. Going the draw to win a Ranger. Yeah. He said it seems like a bit of a stretch to get a 90% double vax by Christmas Eve, but if Maureen Pugh can get struck by lightning three times, anything's possible.

Great local reference there. That's just good words to live by. Yeah. We want our region to stay off the Fletchmas naughty list and be up to 90% vax for the summer period. Yeah, good. So if you're on the coast and you're mucking around. Yeah. There's your incentive.

The younger end, apparently. The younger end of the spectrum in the West Coast. Well, look, I tell you, the borders are opening soon. We're coming. We're coming. We're coming for your Punakaiki rocks. Your Lake Canary. Yeah, we're coming, baby.

We're coming for a photo in front of that hook-a-tickle driftwood sign. I've got one of those. I've always wanted one. We're bringing a box of pals and we're coming. Ooh, we don't like beer.

No, it doesn't taste nice. Don't say that because people are already going to be like, ooh, you're from Auckland. Coming up on the show, the 12 days of Fletchmas, I'm going to pick somebody from the naughty, somebody from the nice list,

and decide who gets the present under the tree today. If you'd like to register, ZM online. Two and three people say this happens at Christmas. I'll tell you what it is next. Two thirds. Oh, two. Two and three. Two out of three?

There we go. Maths. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and three. Two out of three? There we go. Maths. ZDM, Splash, Ron and Megan. Two out of, how do I say it? Two out of three. Oh my God, Megan. Why don't people just give me a percentage? Two thirds.

63%. There we go. Two thirds. That's how you say it. Two thirds. I said two thirds. Okay. Two thirds.

Two out of three. Two and three. You could say 66%. 66% of people say that this happens at Christmas. Someone gets a little bit too drunk. Do you know that in this study, they also asked who it was? And one third. One third?

Yeah. Yeah, one third. Why do they make it so hard? Again, a percentage. One third of people they make it so hard? Again, a percentage One third of people Say that it's their uncle Really? The uncle's the one getting boozed at Christmas

We don't really Because we've got a small family And even if we have Christmas with the Nelson family It's all pretty sensible Although once a cousin did get drunk Oh good I've turned up hungover. Oh, yeah.

So hungover for Christmas. And mum was really angry at me. And Nan said, give him a break. We've all been there. And then Nan told me the story about how once she fell in a ditch on Christmas Eve. Because she was so pissed. She was walking home on the country road and she fell in the ditch. And my grandad helped her out.

And she was like, it was when we were first like dating and I had to go around to his family's place for Christmas and yeah she said this the Catholic girl

that they didn't really like turned up absolutely dredged hungover I was like yeah get it Marlene get it Marlene

what about the 40s yeah she knew you had a party oh she definitely knew you had a party there's I look I always think I'm like this year I'm gonna drink Get it. Marlene. What about the 40s? Yeah, she knew how to party. Oh, she definitely knew how to party. I always think I'm like this young and I drink. And then there's too much food involved. And you're just, you're too full.

And then you do have a couple. And then by the time it gets to three in the afternoon, if you do like a lunch, a Christmas lunch. Sleep. Sleep. Have an hour. Yeah. It's never really happened.

Nana used to have too many like sherrys or brandies or whatever. When they're making the trifle. Yeah, and you'd be worried she's going to fall out of her wheelchair. But she was a fun drunk. Yeah. She wasn't, like, annoying uncle, yeah. You know, my family are all pretty light drinkers, so I don't know. Well, okay, on the back of this statistic,

that two-thirds of people, there's always someone at a family Christmas getting too drunk. Who is it? We want to know the stories this afternoon, especially if it's grand. Sorry, this morning. Jesus. I'm thinking about plans on what this afternoon.

I'm actually drinking this afternoon. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, in my head I was also thinking about it. You're already there. Yeah, I'm thinking about plans on what this afternoon. I'm actually drinking this afternoon. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, in my head I was also thinking about. You're already there. Yeah, I'm already there. We want to know right now about the stories of your drunk family Christmases. Yeah. Who was it?

Was it your uncle? Bonus points if it was Gran or someone that doesn't normally get drunk. Yeah. Because that's the fun bit, isn't it? Well, that's the thing. It can sneak up on them, right? Yeah. When mum accidentally has a few too many wines.

Yeah. Then you eat the trifle. Yeah, but as you say, it has to be early drinking. Maybe it's those mimosas for Christmas breakfast. Too much before, like, the big Christmas lunch. Yeah. All right, well, 0800DARLS.AM, you can give us a text and a call. 9696.

When did someone get drunk at Christmas? So two in three people say that their holiday gathering, someone gets too drunk. And it's usually, from this study, it's usually their uncle. So we want to know from you this morning, who is it at family Christmas that gets too drunk? And what's happened in the past? The hilarious stories, not the sad, bad stories.

Liz, good morning. Good morning. Now, who gets too drunk at the family Christmas? Well, my family had a tradition at Christmas of making brandy strawberries. That was my man's specialty. Oh, I'm going to need you to briefly explain what a brandy strawberry is. It's literally just a bowl of cut up strawberries soaking in brandy.

And how do you eat them? Like with a little fork or fingers? Yeah, usually you put it on as a little topping on top of your ice cream or with your trifle. You mean something as a little help. Do they soak up much alcohol strawberries? I feel like they're not an alcohol soaker.

Yeah, it kind of juices them a little bit. They get quite sweet. It's pretty nice. Okay. But then I guess when you're spooning them out, you're spooning some brandy too. Yeah, yeah. All right, okay.

So who gets too drunk? Well, my 13-year-old cousin found the bottle sitting on the table and just ate them small at once and got a little bit drunk. Yes. Oh my. Yeah. Good time.

How much was a little bit? Like, did they have to go to bed or? Oh yeah, like they fell asleep in a corner after running around for a while and everyone kind of realised that they were drunk. They kind of got put down in a corner. That's brilliant. By the way, they are called Strawberry Romanoff. Oh, okay.

Strawberries Romanoff. There you go, Liz. Thank you. Jay, who got too drunk at the family Christmas? Yeah, hey, team. Yes, it was always the same guy, my uncle. So back when we were younger, all of the uncles and

aunties would take turns in hosting Christmas at their houses. And our one uncle would always come out of the gates hard and get smashed really, really early and then crash out. And then at some point while everybody else was still going,

in his dazed, almost sort of sleepwalking sort of state, he'd get up and go into one of the bedrooms and open up a drawer in the dresser and go for a piss in it. And he did this every year and he denied it. And so one year, my auntie said, right, stuff it.

So she started taping, when she hosted it, she taped all the drawers shut. So when he went to go into the bedroom to go for a piss, he went to go pull the drawer and realised that it was shut. But then in that whole

sort of state while he's trying to work out why is it shut and trying to look for why it's shut that would be enough to wake him up and so then he'll think, oh shit, what am I doing here? And would go to the toilet and so that sort of fixed it so it was nicknamed Pissed Pissy Uncle PPU. Pissed Pissy Uncle

PPU. Yeah. He doesn't do it anymore Louise He doesn't do it anymore But yeah He doesn't do it anymore He's learned He's learned Jay amazing Thanks you

Call some messages in My mother Always Slowly tops up Her glass with wine Throughout the whole day So it never looks like She's drinking anything

And then all of a sudden She's crying And falling over everything And you realise It's one of those Bottomless drink situations. Last Christmas, my partner's grandmother and sister in their late 80s decided to have Baileys for breakfast,

and they were blackout drunk on the couch by 10 a.m. Welsh tradition, the pub opens at 10 a.m. on Christmas Day. And you get a free pint on Christmas. So you can often find yourself still at the pub at 4 o'clock in the afternoon when you should have been home for Christmas lunch. My father was trying

to keep up, was drinking home brew on Christmas and trying to keep up with other seasoned drinkers. He ended up racing for the toilet. He had to try to open

the fly screen but instead he tried to push it and ended up spewing through the fly screen. Chunks on one side liquid on the other. Oh my God. It looks like spewing through the fire screen. Chunks on one side, liquid on the other. Oh, my God.

It looks like it's spewing in a sieve. It's a sieve. Oh, my God. That's really tickling. I want to see it. I don't like seeing spew because it makes me feel like I want to spew, but I would want to see that happen. That sounds fantastic.

So many of these messages. All right. So many. these messages. All right. So many. It always sneaks up on people. It does. My mum and her friend got drunk on sangria and stole gnomes out of the neighbour's garden. They used my cat food as a distraction

pretending they were looking after the neighbour's cats but they were over there pinching the gnomes. Oh, yeah. Good stuff. 22 days away. All right, 7.23. Watch those drunk uncles at Christmas. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Se days away. Alright, 7.23. Watch those drunk uncles at Christmas. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Sexting.

It is something. I'm just, I'm, I'm, I was being honest before. Do people still do it? I can't believe people are still doing it. No comment. Oh, man. But you would video chat them. You would video chat them,

wouldn't you? Did you see the look Megan, everybody in the producer's booth just gave you when you said that? Yuck. I don't, I mean, oh shit, I don't know. Some people obviously are still doing it. But what are you typing? What are you, are you typing? Is it on the phone?

It's sexting, Vaughn. It's sexy text. No, but can you, is this count as chatting? Like if you were using a chat? Like are they replying? No, no, no. Could you use Facebook Messenger? Yeah, any kind of messaging.

Sexy messaging. But could you do it on a laptop? Absolutely. Sure, sure you could. Yeah. But when do you and Mr. Toyboy. Well, we've been in lockdown for 100 days, but prior to that, he. Why am I asking?

Oh, yeah, you were sexting when he was on the road as Alex the Lion in the Madagascar musical. Give me a big purr, King Lion. King Puss. King Puss. That's right. Did he ever... Why don't you come and savage my carcass?

Pretend I'm a zebra. Pretend I'm an antelope and rip the flesh from my bones. It's like, what are you talking about? Is this what we're doing? Is this how it works? No, it doesn't sound like that. So it wasn't African themed. Did he ever send you a...

If I was still sexting, I'd be looking for themes all the time. I'd say to Shana, do you know today's International Donut Day and I want to lick your frosting. Like that? You've got to keep it spicy, dudes. Why are you covering your face? What are you about to ask me? Did he ever message you dressed as the lion from Madagascar in costume?

I'm taking the laptop away from my face and looking you in the eye and saying no. Because I was going to say. It is not my. Dreamworks would absolutely sue you. They would absolutely. I'm not going to yuck you. You're yum. But that's not my yum.

Today's international fritter day. Well, how would you. I want to eat your. No, I want to drizzle some lemon juice on you. No. That's all. Okay. It was all quite lemon juice on you. No. That's all. Okay, it was all quite erotic, that. Yeah.

I want to lightly fry you to your golden brown. Yes, like tomorrow's National Cookie Day. I want to eat. Why is it all food? Tomorrow's International Cheater Day. You could be like, I want to run you down with a quick burst of speed and then be domesticated and unable to be reintroduced to the wild. Okay, well, Megan's now going to run through why you're doing this wrong, Vaughn.

Here's five. I haven't written this list because I don't know. But there is five things that you could be doing that is considered a mistake when you're 60. When you say you don't know, it's because you're a pro at it. I don't know. I did my fissure at Dirty Talk on ICQ in the early 2000s. We never sent.

That was a gag just purely for those over the age of 35. Yeah, 30. I never used ICQ. It's much older than that. Is that what it's called? So you never send Shara, you don't send her like sexy text? I'll probably see her soon.

Yeah, you'll see her soon. Should I send her one now? Yeah. And then we'll read through these and see. No, you should just like show a nap. Just do a nap pack. No, don't show your nap. No, because that's pics.

You have to use your words. Purely text. Okay. Use your words. Purely text. Okay. Use your words. Right. Okay. So first of all, here's one that can help you out right off the get-go. You cross boundaries.

So it's easy to get carried away. Oh, yeah. Careful not to go too wild. Okay. Especially like if you're just new to it, you need to know What your partner's Yeah Vibe is

Don't start off Too full on Like tomorrow's Wear brown shoes day You wouldn't kick it off With like I'm gonna wear you Like a brown shoe

Okay That sounds terrible Aggressive isn't it Have you messaged her No I didn't know What I was gonna say You need to do it now So we can wait for a

No How's your butt How's that butt Should I say How's that? How's that butt? Should I say, how's that butt? How's that butt? Oh, yeah. I think you've got to use some kind of adjective.

Yeah, I think you need some kind of adjective before butt. How's that big butt? No. How's that small butt? No, no one wants to be small butt. How's that thick? Thick. No. T-H-I-C-C.

No. Thick butt. No, just don't. This is terrible. How's that butt? How's that? Thick. Thick. No. T-H-I-C-C. No. Thick butt. No, just don't. This is terrible. How's that butt? How's that lovely butt? Yeah, something like a nice word. How's that lovely butt that I like?

God, I hope the kids aren't on it. Fine. Okay, I've sent it. Okay, all right. Let's see a few replies. Next one. Jared reckons I should chuck a winky face in there. Sexting mistake she could be making.

No, I'm going to do a dribbly face. You know that dribbly face? Yeah, that's a good one. That's happened. It's 7.30 in the morning. How's that lovely butter? Like, ha! Oh, my God.

Standby for response, nation. Your sexts are boring. So if you're yawning or you're making them yawn, yeah, you need to spice it up a little bit. So you've gone from one extreme to the other. You send it to the wrong person. Of course, that goes without saying. That's a huge mistake.

Triple, quadruple check. Always check. Always check before you hit send. Typos. Because there's nothing more of a turn off than when they're sending you a sex and they use the wrong there. Oh, yeah, like you're so sexy and it's the wrong you're.

Or you're ducking sexy. You're like, what? You're like, no, no, it was a typo. You think I'm a duck? I waddle because of my big thick butt. Here's one for you as well, Vaughn. You do it at the wrong time. Well, it's 7.30, babe.

She's getting the kids ready for school. She's getting breakfast and you're messaging that. If they're stressed out, if they're busy, they're in the middle of like some kind of hectic. And then they get a lovely message like, how's that lovely butt that I like? And you haven't had a message back. She hasn't seen it yet.

Is she listening on Alexa in the kitchen? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, there's... And the last mistake you might be making is just be careful that your text or their text aren't visible to anyone else on any device. So, yeah, I mean, the kids might be on... Do your messages show up on the iPad?

No, just on her phone. Or if they're on her laptop, it pops're on her laptop yeah um i don't know i don't think that because i would have heard about it honestly oh it is it is it is it's on it is on okay so you're probably being bored guys guys three dots three dots oh let's laugh face oh so you're being genuinely sexy there there And she's laughing at you She's five laughed face Like the tears are coming out laughing But you know what they say

Women get turned on by laughing I might hit it with a I'ma smack that butt Have I taken it too far? I'ma smack that butt No one came from to send that Just to see what happens I've sent it

I'ma smack that butt. Any three dots? I feel like I shouldn't be here for this. No dots yet. Okay, well, we'll just leave it there. No, I might find it. It's been a naughty butt. Tomorrow's wear brown shoe day.

Because it's good sometimes to chuck in a bit of trivia. Ask her what kind of fritters she likes. What's your... No, I know. I know what her favorite fritter is. It's a white bread fritter. White bread fritter number one. Muscle fritter number two.

Yep. Corn fritter number five. Okay. What's number three? It's primarily a seafood. Oh, right. She loves her kai moana. Yeah, good. So it would be... That's true love right there. Is her kaimoana. Yeah, good.

That's true love right there. Is there a response? That's true love. Power fritter in there, but those are quite bougie. Muscle fritter. Knowing your wife's top five fritters. Do you know your husband's top five fritters? No, I don't think I do actually.

I don't know if he would like five fritters. Definitely not seafood. The latest is next. Brittany turned 40. How much is... Your husband doesn't like seafood fritters. Piss off. Piss off.

She's like, what about Mr. King Puss is on the road. How about this? He's like, no, you know I don't like muscle. Vaughn Smith. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. I've just decided on my Friday flashback coming up and just after eight o'clock and... Wow. I don't know know it's a bit catch 1989 it's a great word to describe that catch it's very catch people are gonna love it people

I think it's what we need for today's levels actually it's a good feel good hells yes catchy song absolutely from the early I want to say 94? No, 89. The album came out in 89. Yeah, 1989. Jeez, okay. We recently had a bit of a clean out. We do this before Christmas every year, at some stage before Christmas. Yeah.

We tell the children they've got too much stuff, and then we just give them more stuff to replace the stuff that we get rid of when we tell them we've got too much stuff. Are we idiots? Yes. we are. So we had the clean out. Stuff that's broken or, you know, grubby or whatever, that gets binned. Yeah. Nobody wants that, but we donate other stuff.

And yesterday I went to an op shop and they actually said they're overwhelmed with donations and are no longer accepting donations. Here is a middle-aged white man trying to do charity and some good in the world. The white saviours come along. The white saviour. Here comes the white saviour. Turn it up. He's the problematic person. Turn it up.

So you're the white saviour trying to do charity and they're saying no white saviour. We've had enough white saviours. Yes. Too many white saviour trying to do charity and they're saying no white saviour. We've had enough white saviours. Yes. Too many white saviours have savoured. Right. That's because of lockdown. Everyone's a clean out.

I read this. You had too many people cleaning out, having time on their hands. They're like, well, get rid of this stuff. And I kind of had a look around when she said it was full. I was like, well, some of our stuff's actually nicer than this. I'd put that out back and put it on the side. Right, yeah.

But then, Carwen said the same thing. She said that you'd heard multiple op shops were no longer accepting donations, right? Because the theory being the clean out over lockdown

and stuff, when people were trapped at home and they're like, we don't need all this stuff. They were full. Yeah. I've tried to donate some clothes and stuff and they're just like, no, thank you. They're like, thanks.

Is that because they're overwhelmed? Was that a real stab in the guts? Yeah. Especially because I also frequent op shops, love op shopping. Right. And so I was like, well, I'll just come buy some stuff and then you take mine. That's a good call. Probably more about your frock choice than anything.

Yeah, did they go through it all and then say no thanks? No comment. When I went to another one, the St. John's shop was where I ended up donating. Is that the ambulance people? Yes. Do they do op shopping too? Yes, they do op shops. Can you pick up old ambulance lights?

Old syringes and stuff? What do they sell? They just sell what people donate. They don't sell bits and pieces of old ambulance. From the ambulances. I thought they were washing the bandages. I'd pay $10 for an old ambulance. Yeah.

They're not selling old ambulances. Some shit's happened in there. That's okay. Okay. You buy a secondhand car, you've got no idea what shit's happened. At least with an ambulance, you've got a fair idea. I think if I'm buying a secondhand car, I know got no idea what shit's happened. At least with an ambulance you've got a fair idea. I think if I'm buying a secondhand car,

I know someone's been eating takeaways in there. What about that time there was that Subaru for sale and it had a bullet hole in the back seat and the bloodstain and they were like,

we've done all we can to get the bloodstain out and it was... Was that a police option? Yeah, yeah, it was. It was like confiscated because it was bought with the profits

of crime or whatever. So they managed to, they took all your stuff in the end? Yeah, but I had to like show her what was in there. She didn't want junk. Yeah, right. She did mention a couple of times it's got to be resell. I was like, yeah, yeah. Because they're like the clothes and stuff that were gone.

They're in the rag. They're in the rags in the garage. And then I showed her some of the toys and she was like, oh yes, proceed to Outback. The lady Outback was far more excited. She's like, look at all the stuff. I was like, I can see why they put you Outback, because you just sound like me.

You just want it all. Oh, yeah, we'll take it. We can find a yes for that. We'll take it. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. The 12 Days of Fletchmas. Well, the 12 Days of Fletchmas is on. You register if you'd like to win a prize from under our tree at ZM Online,

and you tell us if you're on the naughty or the nice list. Yesterday, I gave it to the person on the naughty list. They were stealing their neighbour's magazine subscriptions, reading them, and then putting them back. And that really bloody tickled me, I'll tell you that. Joining us this morning, Andrew, good morning. Sorry, Amanda, I believe. Amanda.

Oh, my God. She did say. Go to. Amanda first. Nice. Amanda, good morning. I'm being told what to do by the media. The controlling media, Amanda.

You have no idea what it's like. They tell me what to say. And the media are in turn being controlled by Big Pharma. Oh, my God. Yeah. Hey, hey. Executive Minister Nanya, how much is Pfizer paying you, man? How much are you being paid?

Not enough. Not enough to put up with your BS. Okay, you've been told. You've been told, big farmer. Now, Amanda, why are you on the nice list? I think I'm on the nice list because I do online dating on behalf of my mum. Oh, that's... Wait, are you pretending to be your mum?

Are you replying? Yes. Okay. It's kind of on the naughty list. Are you going to end up on MTV's Catfish when somebody meets your mum and it's not you? No, she's using her mum's picture and I'm imagining you're replying.

Okay. But what if you end up getting the hots for your new dad? Megan does raise a very... I don't think there's a chance of that happening Alright, and so have you set up mum on any dates? Um, yes, actually So we, my sister and I kind of

do it for her because she's really not tech savvy at all Um, but she has gone on a couple of like coffee dates Okay, and then Does she tell you what to, like, respond? Or are you like, no, Mum, this will do it? Sometimes.

If I'm with her and I check it and I'm like, oh, what do you think of this guy? She'll be like, oh, yes, that's fine. Just give him my number or something. You know, she's so awesome. Oh, nice. She just gets her number out. Right. Is the app on her phone or your phone?

Mine. She doesn't even have a smartphone. What happens if you're out and you get a message from one of these guys? Will you just reply and be like, hey mum, so you said this? Yeah, pretty much. Sometimes I'll send a smile or something and I'll be like, nah, nah, I'm not even replying to him. Has anybody inappropriately

messaged your mother? No. It's not the gentleman. So I was worried you might start getting some DPs, Amanda. Has anybody inappropriately messaged your mother? No. That's nice. So I was worried you might start getting some DPs, Amanda. Then I'll stop. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's really nice of you. And then are there many gentlemen of that vintage on the outings? Well, there actually isn't.

Well, I don't have her on Tinder or anything because I think that's a bit too far. Yeah, right. I don't want to be on Tinder for my mum. That would be gross. Yeah. But she is on like the actual, you know, like the website dating app.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. There's some that are okay, but it's pretty smooth picking. Do you get any young guys that are like, yeah, not really? Sorry, Megan. Megan just wants to know what her future holds. but it's pretty smooth picking. Do you get any young guys that are like, yeah? Not really.

Sorry, Megan. Megan just wants to know what her future holds. All right, Amanda, wait there. You are on the nice list. Who's on the naughty list? Andrew. Good morning. How are you?

You sound naughty. Why are you naughty? Why are you on the naughty list, Andrew? Yes, I'm pretty sure I'm on the naughty list because basically I put on a little bit of lockdown weight and my partner was encouraging me, hey, you should get out and walk and, you know, we should do it. And I was like, okay. So we ran the park and it lasted maybe a couple of days.

And in the end, I was like, look, I'll just get out alone. I think I can self-motivating, oh, okay, okay. And I actually walk down to the local dairy and buy a Memphis Meltdown gooey caramel and a can of Dr Pepper, sit down on the bench out front, polish it all off, give it about 15 minutes watching some TikTok and Facebook videos and then wander back home. Great walk, great walk, babe. Feel great. So you're naughty because you're like lying. Pretty much.

And I do feel bad, but I don't think I'm putting on anyway because of the walking, but I'm certainly not losing it. Well, you know, but you be you.

He should be on the naughty list for even mentioning that after lockdown. That's a taboo subject. Yeah, we've all put on a little bit, haven't we? Yeah. Yeah, well, I was a a little bit, haven't we? Yeah. Yeah, well, I was a travel agent,

so I was probably a bit stressed and probably ate a bit too much. But those gooey caramel Memphis meltdowns, I'll tell you what, you cannot go past them. You're not wrong, Andrew. They are delicious. They've got a white one now too, don't they? And they're bloody good.

Oh, they're the big bickies. They're the big bicky ones. Is that the same? That's different, isn't it? No, they're different. That's different. Okay, the big bicky ones. Is that the same? That's different, isn't it? No, they're different. That's different. Okay, well, let me decide. I like both of these.

Behind the scenes, Fletch is like, which one do you think? I don't like, I don't, yeah. You decide. It's your decision. Okay, I'm going to go Amanda this morning on the nice list because I think it's really sweet you're helping your mum. Oh, thank you. And Andrew, unfortunately, just misses out,

even though I do appreciate a sly, you know, ice cream at the dairy. Oh, yeah. A secret ice cream. You've got to dispose of the wrap. Now, Megan's got some presents from under the tree. So I have one that's like a squishy rolled up one. A secret ice cream. You've got to dispose of the wrapper. Now, Megan's got some presents from under the tree. So I have one that's like a squishy rolled up one. I have one that looks like it could be a scorched almonds box.

It's not, though. And then I have some flat, like, envelope ones or a big box. Oh. I'm vibing. Oh, my gosh. That's so hard. Maybe a big box. A big box. Okay, big box. Let's do it. Grab it big box. A big box. Okay, big box.

Let's do it. Grab it, Megan. Oh, that's heavy, isn't it? Shit, Nan, careful. You'll pop your back. You've got to lift up the knees. You just don't snap. Oh, that says Fraggles on the outside.

Megan's opened it upside down, so I hope it's not a cake. Oh, wait. Oh, I can already smell it. I can already smell it. Oh, there it is. You have won a $300 Aquia Christmas collection. Wow. So there's a pine medicine candle.

There's a diffuser. There's a red berries. And you say peony, eh? Peony, yeah. Peony. Peony. Peony, yeah. Peony. Peony. Peony. Madison Candle. All the flavours.

It's worth $305. Akoya's Christmas collection is available now at akoya.com. There's a massive list of everything that's in there. Well done, Amanda. Congratulations. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you guys so much. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

Play ZM. Friday Flashback. Oh my goodness 10 minutes past 8 We're so late this morning Apologies You should be sorry If anyone even cares Flashback Friday We do this every Friday

We take turns each week Picking a song that's got to be at least 10 years old And a banger. This song ticks those boxes. It was number one in New Zealand, Ireland, Australia. Number two in the UK. Number three in Canada and the US. Banger of a song.

And now Megan's found out it's been on Drag Race. She's on board. Yeah. You were anti before. No, look, I can go one further. This is still from the music video. Who's that? That's RuPaul.

Is it? Pre-fame RuPaul in the music video for the song that I'm about to play from 1989. And this was also covered on Glee, this song. Covered on Glee? So, Carwin's on board. Well, she's on board because apparently this was also a massive song on SingStar 80s. Right, okay. SingStar 80s.

It was from an album called Cosmic Thing from 1989. Today's Friday Flashback is from the B-52s and it is Love Shack. The song rules. Alright, it's your Friday. Fly Shack, sit in. 15 miles to the... The Love Shack It's about 20, so hurry up and bring your jukebox money. Love Shack is a little place where we can get together. Love Shack, baby.

Love Shack, baby. Love Shack, baby, Love Shack. Love Shack, baby, Love Shack. Love Shack, baby, Love Shack. Signs say, stay away fools. The club rules and the love shack. We'll sit way back in the middle of a field. Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back. Glitter on the mattress.

Glitter on the subway Glitter on the highway Glitter on the bus Glitter on the highway Love Shack is a little old place Where we can get together Love Shack, baby Love Shack, baby Love Shack, baby Love Shack

That's where it's at Love Shack That's where it's at Hooking and a-kissing Dancing and a-loving Wearing it to nothing Cause it's hot as nothing The whole Shack shimmies

When everybody's moving around and around and around and around everybody's moving everybody's moving baby folks lying up outside just to get down everybody's moving everybody's

moving baby Fucking little shack Fucking little shack Hop in my Chrysler It's as big as a whale And it's about to set sail I got me a car I can seat the best one So come on And bring your jukebox money The little shack Is a little place where we can get together.

Love Shack, baby. Love Shack, baby. Love Shack, baby. Love Shack. Love Shack, baby. Love Shack. Baby, love shot. Love shot. Baby, love shot. Love shot. Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby. Knockin' a louder, sugar.

Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby. I can't hear you. Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby. I can't hear you. Bang, bang. On the door, baby. Bang, bang. On the door. Bang, bang. On the door, baby.

Bang, bang. You're what? Henry Rusty. Love Shack. Baby, Love Shack. Love Shack. Baby, Love Shack. Love Shack.

Baby, Love Shack. Love Shack. Baby, Love Shack. It's your Friday flashback on CDM, the B-52's Love Shack. You know, when Cindy Wilson goes, Tin roof, rusted. Wasn't supposed to be in the song. Oh my God, I thought it says Henry.

Henry, busted. I didn't know. To be honest, I've heard that song throughout my entire life. There was a stage where I really hated it, and now I've grown to love it for nostalgic and kitsch value. I don't know half the words. Well, I knew the cow was the size of a whale. It seats about 20.

So hurry up and bring your jukebox money. But then a lot of it I just never really thought about. I looked at the lyrics today just before we played it and I was like... I just, listening back to that, what record exec was like? Yes. The guy like.

They were bigger earlier, the B-52s, and they'd kind of like disappeared. And this was their like last effort. And it became their like signature song. Wow. Okay. Divided on the text machine. Really? Banger, Road Trips, With a Fam as a Kid.

Henry! Bastard. Clanger. I've never changed the radio so fast. What the F? Someone said you've stuffed up this week. I was born within a year that this came out. 32 years later,

it still hits. What a banger. Amazing love. I mean, you can concentrate on the negative, but there's a lot of positive. Always a banger. Oh,

someone said clanger. The kids think I've lost my mind. Bang, bang, bang. On the door, baby. Bang, bang. Like a little lot of sugar. Okay. Someone's a bit excited.

It's such a weird song. Yeah. Okay. And they were quite old when they made that. It wasn't like they were like wacky and in their early 20s and experimenting and stuff like that. They were in their 40s. Wow. It was cool their 40s. Wow.

It was cool. Okay. Love it. Great song. It's the first day of the traffic light system. Freedom. Yeah. And with that comes vaccine passports.

Is that what we're calling them? Yeah, certificates. Vaccine certificates. Vaccine pass. Now, I know in the news some people were struggling to get theirs because either their vaccines weren't recorded properly or they're struggling with the email sign-up or whatever. There are 70,000 emails have been sent from the Ministry of Health

giving people like a temporary pass. So, yeah, people may be presenting those today if you're working in a business. And be nice to everyone. We're all figuring it out. Yeah, exactly. Have a bit of patience. Be nice to the're working in a business. And be nice to everyone. We're all figuring it out. Yeah, exactly. Have a bit of patience. Be nice to the people working in hospitality. They've had it rough.

But we have had correspondence from someone else who was trying to figure something out. So this came to our Insta DMs. Okay. I'm recently single. I'm getting back into the dating scene. While I've used dating apps in the past, I've never had to worry about vaccine status before.

So I was wondering what you guys thought about asking for a hookup's vaccination status before meeting up. I'm vaccinated and wouldn't care if someone asked me, but is it rude to do it to someone? Are we allowed to? Not I'll be asking Sade for her double vax. This evening before we make love. Friday, Friday. We clear a little for her double vax. This evening before we make love. Friday, Friday.

We clear a little time on the Friday evening. No, I'm only kidding because that's Friday night, Friday with the boys. I reckon that's not as weird asking a stranger. What's weirder is asking people you know. I know because that's the thing. People are in these situations where people are coming for Christmas. Yeah.

And they might have like someone. Extended family and stuff. Yeah, and they're like in that awkward spot where they're like, look, you're coming around to my house. There could be like gran that's immunocompromised. And they're like. Your crazy auntie gets offended. Well, you just don't want to, you don't want it in your house.

So are we allowed to be kissing people on dating apps and traffic lights? Yes. I don't know. I've seen people at the traffic lights. I just push the button and wait for the green man to tell me to walk. Oh, you've got to live some life. Live life a bit. The guy's red.

Do you want to have a bash? Do you want a kiss? And when it goes... That means we've got to stop kissing and start walking. Yeah. We did a poll. Should you ask hookups if they're vaccinated? 85% of people said yes.

Okay, so no one's got an issue with it. Well, 15% of people do. Very, but that's a minority. Yeah. Hmm. I am. Yeah, totally. I don't see a problem with it.

I'd be getting there. You should be able to. Especially if you're going to have a pash. I mean, Tinder's international, right? There's not like a New Zealand Tinder or a New Zealand Bumble? It's international, yeah. If there was like a specific New Zealand one, you could tie in your

vaccine pass so it would say this person's officially vaccinated. Because if someone puts on Tinder that they're double vaxxed, are you still going to ask or are you just going to trust them? Well, yeah, that's the thing. Do you go that step further and you're like, send me the screenshot of your vax pass. I know, that's so

awkward. But then you don't want to be doing that because I don't know if you'd, Rachel, in the news mentioned people are selling vax certificates on like Telegram and stuff. But what about scanning? Scribbling over the scanning? You've got that app. Oh, yeah, you could scribble over it. You could scribble over your QR code and send it to them. Are you saying when you meet up on the date, scan

the QR code? Yeah. Let me scan your QR code and send it to them. Are you saying when you meet up on the date, scan the QR code? Let me scan your QR code. I've seen your vaccine passport. Oh, wow. I mean, you can make a joke about it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, so many people are coming through your place when this traffic light system goes.

No, let's be honest. You're going to be running a scanner at the door. I do have the scanner on my phone. You're basically doing a click and collect situation. People are going to be coming and going. Are you going to have a QR code that they can scan in? Unbelievable. You've got a registered business and that's all you needed for the QR code.

I could have a QR code. No. I wasn't planning on having a party, Vaughn. You were. No, I wasn't. One at a time. No, but I am going to a party next or the weekend after it and they've already said in the Facebook group,

you've got to be vaxxed. Yeah. And they're going to scan everyone's codes. Okay. So it's all on. This is the world we live in. It'll be interesting to see now people that were reluctant to get vaccinated if they do when they see all their vaccinated friends out and about.

Having fun. Events and stuff again. Yeah. The old FOMO might be a few percent wise, getting that tally up. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. It's time for... Hold on, I'm out of breath. I just ran to the toilet and back. And I did one of those things.

Yeah. Kind of like a sidestep, but it's straight. You know when you jump and when you hit the ground, you try to run a whole lot faster? What are you doing? Why did you run? I don't know where you jump and when you hit the ground, you try to run a whole lot faster? What are you doing? Why did you run? I don't know if I've ever seen you run back from... You're jogging, and then you go...

What, like you're an all-black trying to change directions? But you don't. You just keep going straight. It's just you try to look cold. You would try to hurt my back. Where did this sense of urgency suddenly come from? Because I said I'm going to go to the toilet, and Fletch said, give me time a lot. I said, you've got

two and a half minutes. It was more like the way he said it. And so I was running and I did a straight side step, which isn't a side step. What do they call that? There must be a name for that thing where you jump and you just anyway. And I'm hit. I just

twicked a little soft. Well, you be careful when you go back to the gym today? Because a lot of people will be going to the gym after 108 days. That's it. That's all you need to go to physio rather than the gym now. I think I should just, I had the best of intentions to go to the gym, but I'm going to take a couple of days to recover from this. The car park will be full. I'm beginning to think I might never be an All Black.

It's highly likely at this stage. It's time now for... Fact of the Day! Day, day, day, day! Today's Fact of the Day is the man that invented Tickle Me Elmo, Mark Williams, was under investigation by the FBI as they believed he may have been the Unibomber. Unibomber.

Una? Uni. Una. Was that the TV show that we watched that Keshia Castle Hughes was in? Yes. Was that about the Unibomber? He would mail packages Around the United States Yeah

That was a great one That was a great one with Kirsten Castle What was that show called? Who was the big name in it? Tom Hardy? No Who was the big name in that show? Google what that show was

Paul Bettany Paul Bettany was the Unabomber, right? Unabomber Yeah But? Unabomber. Yeah. But I can't remember who the investigating officer was. It was a great show. What's Gerard saying? Manhunt?

Yeah, that sounds right. Manhunt, Unabomber. Yeah, it was a great show. I don't know where it flew under the radar. But anyway, it wasn't him, but he was under investigation. He has a background in nuclear physics. So the guy that invented Tickle Me Elmo, the dolls that go, hee, hee, hee, and then wiggle.

And wiggle. Well, he'd have the kind of, I guess, the mouth to make a bomb, right? Someone with that kind of background. Yes. Because of his background in nuclear physics. Yeah. He also invented talking computer chips for airplanes. So the ones like, pull up, pull up.

He invented that? Wow. Okay. He invented Tickle Me Elmo, and it was on Christmas, around about Christmas in 1995, that his wife got a call from the FBI saying, we would like to speak to your husband. And it turns out that they were

investigating him as they believed he may have been the Unabomber because he travelled from airports that had been marked as potential bomb sites. He visited locations where the Unabomber because he travelled from airports that had been marked as potential bomb sites. He visited locations where the Unibomber had mailed explosives. And he lived within 20 miles of the Unibomber at three different times in his life. Whoa!

That's fascinating. Quite coincidental. Whoa. Yeah. When they looked into his lab, it was full of headless electronic dolls hung on hooks on the wall because he was obviously trying to perfect this Elmo situation.

But to them, they said it just looks kind of like bombs. Why wasn't this in the show? This would have been a great edition. I know. It would have been a great side episode where they chased, you know, went on the wild goose chase. Every police show needs a wild goose chase. Yeah.

Also, his oldest son had the same name as a name on one of the Unabomber's letters. Oh, he's looking really fit for this. I know. It's called Manhunt Unabomber on Netflix if you wanted to watch it. Okay. It's pretty good. Yeah. But yeah, he didn't do it, but he was one of the FBI's top suspects.

Wow. Yeah. That was wild. Because how many people did he... He mailed heaps of packages around and killed a few people, right? Yeah, and it was really sporadic, right? He'd disappear for a couple of years and then come back with four in a row and then they eventually tracked him down and caught him.

Wow. Yeah, really good. And how rich is the guy that invented Tickle Me Elmo and Talking Chips? Like, that's wild. Yeah, really good. And how rich is the guy that invented Tickle Me Elmo? That's a very good question. Talking chips. Like, that's wild. Mark Williams, inventor. But then he might have just been on contract to invent. Yeah.

He's got a whole page of patent and patent applications. He sounds like an interesting man. A very interesting man. He needs a documentary about himself. Near to the air subwoofer, a gaze tracking apparatus and system, adjustable locking mechanisms, optical electrical devices

and hybrid automated testing equipment. He has got so many patents. He must be very rich. Yeah. Or just like an unsung genius. He's got a patent for a chair. Just a chair? A chair. Three chairs. Are you allowed to patent a chair? I thought a chair is... Must got a patent for a chair. Just a chair. A chair.

Three chairs. Are you allowed to patent a chair? I thought a chair is... Must be a special chair. Must be a special chair. He's also filed a patent in 2019 for a new type of toner cartridge for a printer. Well, I don't get if you invent all this stuff and you're so rich. Why is he still working?

Is he just that way inclined? But today's fact of the day is the guy that co-created Tickle Me, Elmo was also one of the main FBI suspects to be the Unibomber. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Oh, well, he's not happy about it. Oh, I've been having a big rant behind the scenes about this.

Because we have just learnt that today is Producer Jared's birthday. You guys said it three times before I cottoned on to the fact that today was his actual birthday. And it's come to an absolute shock and surprise of us all. And this is what's got me started. Happy firstly producer jared thanks guys how old are you turning today i'm 28 28. i got married when i was 28. oh you're older than my husband oh my god carl wayne that's really tickled her, hasn't it? You're not as old as my wife. She's old.

She doesn't look old though. She doesn't look old. Oh, good from you. She doesn't look old. Good save. Great save. Well, this is what's got me started. Everybody's surprised to learn it's producer Jared's birthday.

Yesterday, it was one of my best mate's birthday and we did some day drinking. Yeah. And played Fortnite and did some day drinking. Yeah. And played Fortnite and did some day drinking. Yeah. And to celebrate his birthday, producer Jared was there also day drinking. Never a mention of we should do this again tomorrow for my birthday.

And this is my problem. This is what's got me started because he's like, nobody's mentioned or wished me happy birthday yet. I don't think you see that. I've looked on Facebook. It's not on Facebook. My friend, our friend Alice, it's her birthday today. It's on Facebook.

I know I can message her because Facebook reminded me. But when you don't list your birthday on Facebook and then you get all, oh, no one said happy birthday to me. Jared's not going to, Jared wouldn't do that. No, but he would have quite happily gone home without us, knowing it's his birthday, and that's not acceptable. You've got to tell people months and weeks before.

He's not an in-your-face kind of guy, though. In the days leading up, you must say to everybody, guys, it's my birthday tomorrow. I'm really excited about it. Hint, hint, hint. Excuse me. Coming from personal experience, that doesn't get you anywhere either because I've given you fair warning.

I give you countdowns. I have it on Facebook. I have it listed everywhere. And remember that day you pretended you didn't know it was my birthday? Remember that? Shit, I was wild.

Quite funny. But that was because you put so much. Yeah, you went too far. Oh, okay. So just a happy medium for fleets, please. Yeah, it's a real subtle,

yeah, I'm really looking forward. Oh, this weekend, yeah, we'll have my birthday celebrations. Just drop, sprinkle it every now and again. How did we find out that it was your birthday? Leave it on Facebook. So it's not on my Facebook, but Carwen got a little Snapchat notification saying it's my birthday. Snapchat?

Oh, Snapchat came through. Was it the little birthday cake? The little birthday cake icon. I think it pops up with a notification. Oh, okay. So you've just been sitting here all day

knowing it's your special day and you didn't say anything to any of us. But it's everyone's special day today because it's traffic light day. Oh, it's stolen your Sunday. Oh, and did the cam

just open the camera? Yeah, I opened Snapchat and opened on the front facing camera and I saw this grumpy old man looking at it with a fat double chin. Guys, it was me and it wasn't even a filter.

That was yuck. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. You guys see the news just quickly. Yesterday, Auckland's officially IKEA-ing. We're getting an IKEA. I did. Silky Park. Christchurch maybe.

That's still rumours about a Christchurch IKEA as well. Ooh. Ooh. You're fizzing It just gets me excited Are they going to do the meatballs here? The famous meatballs? They better do the meatballs I'm not going unless there's meatballs

They do famous meatballs In the middle What do you mean in the middle? In the middle of the stall No, I think it's at the start of the stall I think there's meatballs scattered throughout the stall Like an Easter egg scavenger hunt? Yeah, and you lift up the couch cushions.

You follow the meatballs to the counter at the end. They were on top of spaghetti covered in cheese, and then someone sneezed, and I lost my poor meatball. Okay, you need a weekend. And an Ikea store. You need a weekend. ZM's Flashboard and Megan, getting amongst the festive season with Akoya.

Well, we've been asking you to register at ZM online and tell us who you're pining for, who you really want to see this Christmas. And Zoe joins us. Good morning, Zoe. Good morning. How are you? Really good. Now, who are you pining for?

Who do you really want to be home to see for Christmas? I really want to see my mum. Okay. How long has it been since you saw your mum? I haven't seen her in over a year now. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. So whereabouts do you both live?

So I live in Auckland and then she lives down in Christchurch. Wow. All right, so lockdowns and that. Yeah. So have you been, like, working through lockdown? What do you do? Yeah, yeah. So I'm a nurse.

So I work over in Starship with all the little kiddies. Oh, Melissa. That must be the hardest job because we've visited a couple of times. We've been to the lollipop radio station. And it's so heartbreaking going in there and seeing all the kids sick. You have to deal with that every day. Yeah, every day. But the kids are so incredible and they, yeah,

all they want to do is play and go home and be with their family. So it makes our job so worth it, you know, at the end of the day. Okay, well, after a year, Zoe, of not seeing your mum, with a quiz, who are you pining for? We're going to give you $500 to get home. Oh, thank you so much. That's so cool. Awesome.

Yay. All thanks to Akoya. We've also got an Akoya prize pack for you. Akoya's Christmas collection is available now at Akoya.com. We'll chuck in a couple of the Akoya Christmas ones, like the pine. The pine. Delicious.

So good. But yeah, well done, Zoe. $500. Thank you so much. Thank you. Zoe, just before you go, are you on Snapchat? Um, yes, I am.

I'm just, I'm just, I'm back on Snapchat. Oh, Zoe, don't use me. Gosh, it's funny, Zoe. I can see what I'd look like if I was a baby. Look, here I am as some sort of

Disney cartoon character. Jesus Christ. What a hoot. Don't I am with some sort of Disney cartoon character. Jesus Christ. What a hoot. Don't know. It's like mum's found Snapchat. Oh, no. I'm kidding. I'm familiar with Snapchat,

but I mean, it's changed a bit since I logged on. You just logged out and left it, didn't you? They're still sending pictures of their genitals on this thing? No, I don't believe so.

Just chance. Just chance. Just chance. What a liar.