ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 3rd May 2021

Episode Date: May 2, 2021

Tik Tok Eggs  Producer Jared left a Note  How far through the fitness challenge did you make it?  Hayley had a stay'cation  Where's My Medal!?  Why did you ghost someone?  Producer Jared's Uber TripSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Morn and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Guys, update on the neighbourhood for me. How have the noisy neighbours been? We laid a complaint. We've talked about that, but nothing since? Nothing since. I mean, the revving of the engines, for sure, but I've started...

You've been putting road spikes down. I've been filming it. I'm just getting a catalogue of evidence. I just saw on an episode of Biddle Cool Saw, Mike Irmentrout made homemade road spikes out of nails and a garden hose.

How did he get it to stay upright? No, he did it like all directions. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. So no matter which way it was facing, there was a nail. Okay, that's good to know. I'll slip that one into the back of my mind.

Again, though, AliExpress road spikes, I think like $10. Oh, yeah, great. I want some now. But it's sort of an interesting neighborhood. Like we're getting to know everyone better because Aaron's been been building a shed from scratch and it's looking really good but you know it takes a bit of work him and his friend are working on the shed and we're being quite noisy now yeah right and you know aaron because we're sort of in the center of a lot of houses so aaron's like over in one person's backyard to reach the top of the thing and then over in the other person's uh things we're making really good friends with everyone and last night our uh back neighbor came over and we'd literally

just ordered dinner we got uber eats yeah and he came over and he bought he brought over some food that his wife had cooked for me and aaron and it was creamed corned beef cooked in taro leaves in parcels, like a hangi. What, like in the ground? Yeah, it was huge, like a massive plate of it. We were like, oh my gosh, thank you so much. And then our dumplings arrived, so we were like, oh no, what are we going to do? So you were like, thank you so much, but you were like, no thanks. I was just a little bit like, oh no, I've just ordered dinner, I don't know,

and I've never tried this before. I'm like, I'm very. White. White when it comes to my food. But this, and we opened it up and oh my God, it was delicious. Vaughan, I reckon you'd be all over this. Palo Sámi. Is that what it's called?

Yeah, I've just Googled it. So yeah, it's corned beef. Now, was it corned beef, corned beef or canned corned beef? It could be canned. It was quite, it was like kind of broken apart. No, it didn't look like this. It looked like, you know, your normal, like a corned beef. This is exactly what it was.

Yum. Salmon, palo salmi. Like just anything, coconut, like coconut curries. Yeah, so it was like a coconut cream corned beef. I mean, everyone, like Polynesian listeners now will be like, this dumb girl, like, this is a real normal meal. But, my God, it was so tasty. And it just really turned me around in the neighborhood

because we've been having such issues with our noisy neighbors. But then there's good people out there. There's still good people out there. I know, the back neighbor's just so nice. That neighbor keeps coming over and helping Aaron with the building and our gardening. And he's so nice. And yeah, shout out to the palusame. It was so good.

The dumplings are in the fridge. They paled in the carrot. And we ate the palusame. So how this recipe says that it's a can of corned beef. They used palm corned beef. Now, I've heard people say bad things about canned corned beef, and I won't have a bad word said about it. One of my Nana Rita, one of the whitest women you'll ever meet,

one of her famous lunch spreads was a can of corned beef with some tomato sauce and a few herbs and stuff, and she'd mix it up, and it was just the most amazing spread. I love a bit of canned corned beef. High in sodium, though, isn't it? Yes. A white onion, a cup of coconut cream and then taro leaves to wrap it in so you cook it and then you wrap it in the taro so you cook it in like a pan with the corned beef and the coconut milk yeah and then you wrap it in the taro leaves and then you bake that oh wow okay okay now i want to try that oh you could barbecue that too

it was phenomenal next time i have it i'll bring you some i'm gonna make some Wow. Okay. See, now I want to try that. You could barbecue that too. Or umu it, pang it. It was phenomenal. Next time I have it, I'll bring you some. I'm going to make some. Just got to find some time, please. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Morning.

God, if we've watched a couple of parcels that have come in over the weekend. Just to open these up, Jared's got himself a new hoodie. It's lovely, isn't it? So did Carwin and Anya and they are refusing to put on their bright red hoodies.

Promotional neon hoodies. You're not going to put it on. No, I'm not. Now, Neon very nicely gave you a membership, a free subscription, so I think you should thank them by putting on your... I think that's really rude. Thank you, Neon. I won't, however, thank Vaughan, who said,

if anybody wants the XL and then passed it to me. Well, I just heard you said a car one about the medium, so I was like, well, here's my one. I'm the big dog. It's cutting behaviour at four minutes past six. Let's get those red hoodies on. Come on. We'll bully you into it in the old-fashioned way.

Coming up on the show, the top six this morning. Is it? The Apprentice New Zealand. Yes. Well, they announced all the white people that are going to be on it. Yes they. Is there a second announcement for people of colour or is that

just an announcement that's not coming? No, there's three. Okay, right. Predominantly very white. It's very white. Very white. Bloody good. So I've got the top six things you can expect to see on The Apprentice New Zealand. All right, this is coming up in the top six.

Yep. Add to Cart is back again today. So 8 o'clock, we'll give you the first item, and then we'll add stuff to the cart right throughout the day. 10, midday, 2, 4. And if you're the first caller through this afternoon with Brianne Clunt, you win everything in our shopping cart. It's your cart. Is it you today?

Let me have a look here. Yes, it is my cart. It is. It's your little selection. So I've chosen everything today. That's cool. Cool. Oh my gosh. What awaits? Alright, next on the show. Just some cat stuff. Okay, so there might be one cat

thing in there. There might be one because I always get asked about my little cat fountain that I got Major Murray Fluffington. No, but he made an absolute mess of it last night. No, he's always making a mess. He loves it. Splashing around. It's on the tiles. Yeah, it's on the tiles.

But now he doesn't wait at the shower for me to turn the shower on because he just wants to shower, wants the water. Right, yeah. So that cat needs disciplining. So there may be a cat fountain in today's Add to Cart. Coming up, a third of people

aren't washing something and whakaronga mai, you should be. You should be. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I'm reading a horrendous survey.

I'm so, I'm sorry that we have to start the show like this, to be honest. Okay, yeah. There's been a survey done, and this is on Brits. But we do, you know, us as a colonised country, we take after them quite a lot. So these stats could apply to New Zealand. But there was a survey done in Britain. Okay.

Which looked at our washing habits, our washing clothes, washing bedding habits. And it's not good. One in three people admitted to only cleaning their sheets on an annual basis. That is not enough. A third of people that were surveyed

wash their sheets once a year. What? I do mine every Saturday or Sunday. Yeah. Every week. I feel like the most I'll go is like a 10 day and at that point I'm like, it's just because I've been lazy. It's a weekly thing? You'd be a weekly thing,

wouldn't you? You don't know. No, Mrs. Takes care of that. To be fair, if I wasn't there for Aaron, it could go months. Well, I just know that's in the discussed jobs. I only know the sheets have been washed because she says, give me a hand putting this fitted sheet back on.

That's how I know the sheets have been washed. Can she not do a fitted sheet by herself? God, lazy. No, it's that, because it's a big bed, it's the diagonal one that gets her. She pulls one up there and it pops off the bottom and she's going to scoot back around

and clip that back on. You've got to tuck it under. I know she tucks it. She's not a moron. She's no bitch. Our sheet, when you pull it, it goes plop off the other end. It must be a really tight sheet.

It's a tight fitted sheet. It's too shallow. You've got quite a thick mattress tight. It's a tight sheet. It's too shallow. You've got quite a thick sort of, yeah. Thick mattress. But I like a tight sheet. Oh, I like a bit of room. No, I like a fitted sheet that's like making the mattress, it's like it's strangling the mattress.

Yeah, the mattress is slightly smaller as a result. And you're like, shut up. But how often are you helping her change the fitted sheet? Oh, I'd say at least weekly. Oh, there you go. So you'd be weekly. Didn't Producer Gerard, didn't you admit once when you were single back in the day, it was quite a while, wasn't it?

What was it? I think it was like a month or two maybe. I don't know. I can't remember. Now that you've got a midi, is that every weekend? Yeah, it's every two weeks. Oh, every two weeks? Every two. Yeah. Well, you'll every two weeks. Oh, every two weeks? Every two.

Yeah. Well, you'll get up there. You'll get up there. Get some satin sheets. Those things hardly ever need to be washed. This sound of like, your foot, your rough foot

scraping against it. Yeah. Have you ever got in if you spilled a bit of food in bed, you just wait for the stain to dry and then you just scratch it off? Scratch it off. This survey is absolutely feral.

It gets worse. 18% only wash their jeans annually. Wash their jeans once a year. See, I'll only wash jeans if there's a real bad stain. But you are supposed to wash them more than once a year. Apparently in the freezer. When I went in retail, we got told put them in the freezer because it kills the bacteria. But then apparently when you defrost them, the bacteria is still there.

36% only wash blankets once a year. I'm probably like twice a year for like the top. Like we've got a quilt that goes on top of everything else, on top of a duvet. It's so gross. 40%, 80% of people wash their underwear after every wear, which means 20% aren't. 25% of the men surveyed admitted to only washing their underwear

after every five washes. Five wears? 10% of the men only wash their underwear after 10. 10 wears. Oh, no. Every time. You've got to wash them every time. 10.

10 days. Because I'll go through a couple of pairs a day because I'll sweat at the gym, then get home and have a shower and then put on another pair. There's no way that sentence is going to go. I'm actually rip-roaring through them all day. Yeah.

Anyway, that's feral. That's manky. Wash your sheets, wash your undies. Yeah, I'd like to think that as Kiwis, we're a little bit cleaner. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Pesto eggs, dividing the internet. TikTok is rediscovering all these things Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Pesto eggs dividing the internet.

TikTok is rediscovering all these things that other older people have just known about for ages but didn't really talk about because it wasn't that big a deal and then it gets put on TikTok and the world goes crazy. Like this pesto egg scenario. I know I've said this a million times, but you have to try pesto eggs. I swear your life will be changed. All you do is use pesto instead of the normal cooking oil that you cook your eggs in. You can do a fried egg, sunny side up egg, scrambled eggs and then the oil in the pesto will keep the eggs from sticking to the pan. How much oil does she usually use

for eggs? I'm not sure of the usual oil situation. I'm a butter man though. When it comes to a scramble, it's got to be a butter. Yeah. What kind of oil is in pesto? Olive. Olive. Yeah.

Which is not a heat... I don't use that for a cook on a heat. No. You're not supposed to. Yeah, right. You're not supposed to, but we all do it sometimes. Yeah. Terrible.

Not a bad idea, though. That's what you want to cook your eggs in. Delicious beef fat. You cook everything in beef fat. It's good for you. Oh, dear idea. Beef fat. That's what you want to cook your eggs in. Delicious beef fat. You cook everything in beef fat. It's good for you. Oh dear. Good for everybody. Yeah, so you just add pesto, which totally I would have done with scrambled

eggs just because I like a flavour filled option. Yeah. But yeah, she does it with fried eggs. And the fried egg in one of the pictures is like the ones where they've cooked the yolk too hard. Oh, yeah. Have they done a flip-a-roo?

Yeah. For me, it would go scrambled eggs. Yeah, primary. And then poached and then fried. Poached are a pain in the ass. And poached, I don't know, there's nothing worse than a runny white. And I feel like a lot of cafes recently have been getting some runny-ass whites. That's so scared of having a stiff yolk.

I know, exactly. I always go a scramble now. Yeah, I love a scramble. And they say overcook the scramble. I'll send them right back to the kitchen. You want a nice fluffy. I want a custody scramble, you know. Rhythms.

Which, just said before we were on the air, adding pesto, that's an expensive way to cook eggs. And I'm looking at pesto and it's not expensive. Where are you buying your pesto, that's an expensive way to cook eggs, and I'm looking at pesto, and it's not expensive. Where are you buying your pesto? Pesto is expensive! Real genuine pesto is. Not like the pesto dip. You know, like those $2 pesto dips. That's cheap. Because they use cashew nuts.

The cheap nut. We're talking your finest pine nuts, sir. Well, you're not talking the old Mediterranean basil pesto with the foil peel back. Oh, shit, I love that dip. Not that. I love that dip. I love that dip.

That is not a pesto. That is real good. I think, yeah, it's a couple of bucks when it's on special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's your go-to. Yeah, I'm talking your pine nut, your toasted pine nut. And it's got parmigiano-veggiano. Traditional pesto has to have pine nuts, not cashews.

Yeah, pine nuts. And we all know pine nuts are expensive. Yeah, yeah. And they put parmesan in it. Yeah, parmesan. Yeah, so you've got parmesan and your pine nuts. It's very expensive. Or olive oil and a spritz of lemon, if you will.

Well, hold on. Countdown does a big dog one. That's $5. You don't have to use the whole thing every time you make eggs. Well, she didn't specify. Just replace your oil. What if you only use a dribble? What's the point?

You could just use the oil out of it. Because, you know, it's always super oily when you open it up. Yeah. And pour that in there. I'm all for it. But don't overcook your eggs. It's not the 80s. This is a...

Nobody's that. A public service announcement. Do not overcook your eggs. Don't do it. Put them in the bin if you do and go to a cafe. 20 past six. The most privileged thing I've ever seen. Yeah, your private school's showing now.

Yeah, sorry. I'll tuck it away. Hey, speaking of breakups, listen up. Now, I don't have any issue at all. If people in a mutually respective relationship want to send some nude photographs to one another but there's been sort of

something that maybe we don't think about so much when we do so, and I do say we I include myself in this that there was a survey done that has revealed that a lot of people are holding on to these pictures long after the relationship ends. Oh, okay.

Which is, I guess you don't really think about that. What are they going to do with it? Well, that's why you should Snapchat. Although you tried that, Vaughn, to spice things up and you posted it to your story. Yeah, exactly. Do you remember that? But it was a whole thing. Yeah. Did you?

Yeah, it was like really late at night and like I was joking and I tried to send it to Sade on Snapchat because we'd just been talking about how we'd never sent like nude photos or whatever. No. And she was in the bedroom. This is going back many years. And it was a terrible photo and then I was like,

we'll get another one. Yeah. And I accidentally clicked the add to stories. Yeah. So I had to quickly work out how to delete it. It was like a blurry side ball

bottom of the shaft situation. Let alone everyone else saw it. So that was the thing. I got it deleted and you know how you could see the little eye on Snapchat and it said how many people had seen it? It was still at zero. And even if they had just quickly seen it, they would have been like, what's going on here? Because it was like blurry.

It was like a iPhone. I've received one of those. I had a big night out with, I will never say her name, but she'll be listening and she'll laugh. Yeah. But we had a big night out. It was your mum. No, God, no.

A very big night out. Yeah. And we got home home like all separately home and she was in a long distance relationship and I remember waking up sort of like oh man it was a big night

and quickly checked my phone it was when I was like peak Snapchat and I was like oh so and so sent me a Snapchat and I looked and it was just

a full blown full blown full top and bottom wow nude full nude yeah

and then- See, that's the thing. At least you've only seen it once. Yeah, I did a screenshot. I was just like, what? If you're in a relationship with someone, they're only going to see it once. I know.

And then when the relationship ends, they're not going to be able to keep it. No, so Snapchat, I mean, are people still using it? Is it still a young thing? I don't use it. So you're saying one in 10 people still keep the photos from an ex? No, so one in 10 people surveyed say they never intend to delete these images.

Wow, okay. So they intend to hold onto them for whatever reason forever. 50% were going to hold onto them but would eventually delete them. Like, you know, it's like they wouldn't immediately break up with them. Yeah, right. And men are more likely than women to hang on to the, but would eventually delete them. Like, you know, it's like they wouldn't immediately break up with them. Yeah, right. And men are more likely than women to hang on to the ex's nudes. Yeah, because if you send a penis, they're nasty.

What? As soon as that one's not specifically for you, you're deleting the photos of it. You don't want a stark reminder of how gross a penis is. Higher earners are more likely to keep them. Well, you can just go and pay for a... Pornhub. We also do that. Yeah, if you're such a high earner.

All right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, he had a bloody guts full of his upstairs neighbours playing drum and bass or D-N-B as it's known. Not D-N-D. It should be D-A-B, shouldn't it? Drum and bass. D-N-D. Not D-N-B as it's known. Not D-N-D. It should be D-A-B, shouldn't it? Drum and bass. Not D-N-D. He loves playing D-N-D

but not D-N-B. Have they been playing that lately? Nah, nah. Still been pretty quiet upstairs. Well, that's good, that's good. But there's a new problem on the street. Somebody's taking your car park. Yeah, so we're in a very closed off cul-de-sac and our house

because we're in a granny flat doesn't have any allocated parking. Right. So three of us just hope to God there's a car park when we get home. Otherwise, how far do you have to walk? We have to park probably 500 metres down the road and then walk down a bush track to get to our house. A bush track?

Yeah. That's nice. You might see a kitteroo. You could. Do we? Unless it's raining and then it's a bush track to get to our house a bush track yeah well that's nice you might see a kid or a you could do it unless it's raining and then it's a that's an average yeah yeah okay because i was carrying groceries when we couldn't get oh i hadn't thought about the groceries i'd drive i'd park momentarily i'd put the groceries i'd come back out and move the car yeah i could have done that just solved your problem yeah you said you know that arrow in your car? That's the hazard lights. Look at that. They do a world of good. So I left a note on this car that had

taken two car parks. No. I hate that. Unacceptable. So I got out the car and I like ran up to this house that I thought the owner might be in and they were like, nah, we've had a guts full of that car too. So I was like, oh yes, vindication. So I ran down to

my flat, grabbed a pen and a paper and I wrote a little note which I'd like to read out to the class. So aggressive. I reckon I could almost tell you what it says because I've written many of these notes myself. Yeah, I'm surprised this isn't your story actually, Hayley, with your... Well, this is my story

but it's yeah, from Jared's perspective because I've done the exact same thing. Yeah, because it's, yeah, from Jared's perspective, because I've done the exact same thing. Yeah, because it's my first note. I wanted to take, like, a calm approach this time. Oh, okay. Just you wait. One year's time.

There'll be some cuss words in there. There'll be a brick through the windscreen. Yeah, for sure. Hello. Now, you may not be aware of this, but there is a shortage of parking on this road. Oh, passive. Very passive-aggressive. Very passive. And condescending. Yeah, very. You may not be aware of this, but there is a shortage of parking on this road. Oh, very passive-aggressive.

Very passive. And condescending. Yeah, very. You may not be aware. You think this is gentle. Yeah. This is a great passag. You got eyes full?

Go on. Some tenants of the street rely on on-street parking because we don't have driveways. As you've parked like this, you've taken two car parks, causing me to carry a lot of groceries from X Road. Oh, bubba. I would appreciate if next time you could park with other people in mind and not take up two spots. Cheers, a tired and sweaty neighbour.

The use of the language, I would appreciate. That's the stinger. Now, I would appreciate, and I won't ask again. Next time it's going to be a screwdriver through your tires. We had this very issue. And look, I've had some issues with my neighbours in the past. But we were the same. We lived in a cul-de-sac that we had.

We had no off-street parking. And same thing. There were two, you know, you could fit two per berm and down the front and people used to always take up two. But what about, what if we're blaming the wrong person? What if the person parked there, there was a motorbike, for example, had parked and so they just got in behind the motorbike and they couldn't help the fact that they were taking up two parts? Not possible.

Not possible? We got to the point where we got so sick of writing notes that we just typed it up and printed a bunch. What? So every time it happened, you'd pull a fresh one? Get the note. Go into the stationary and draw it. Pull that out.

Fold it up. Of course you did that. Of course you did. Wow. Next time that happens, because your car, I don't think your car would be able to do this, but come back to work and get one of the Black Thunders, the Jeep Wranglers, and just

shunt that car forward. Yeah, I've tried to push a car before, but I'm not strong enough. And your little Mazda. No, you try to push it by hand. You're familiar with park brakes. I know, but you used to see those videos of

everyone rallying in and moving a car. They're generally lifting it, they're not just pushing it. They're getting the wheels off the ground because those things are locked. I know. Locked tight. Get a brick, smash the window, take the handbrake off and move it forward. Don't do that. That's a bit extreme.

Probably don't do that. Follow my advice, young man. Fletchvorner Megan, the podcast ZM. From the oily ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The top six. Yesterday, the lineup for everyone who's going to be on The Apprentice New Zealand was announced. Yeah.

No comment. I'll just leave it at that. You just thought it was very white, didn't you? Yep. Yeah. Pretty white. And everyone from Auckland. Yes. Which I thought it was very white, didn't you? Yep. Yeah, pretty white. And everyone from Auckland. Yes.

Which I thought was a bit... And one person from Sydney. Yeah, which I thought... But I don't think people south of the Bombays have got time for this bullshit. They've got jobs. They can't all be social media influencers. Yeah, they're all... They have an air of social media influencing about them.

This feels like a big social media influencer season. Yeah. I would have loved to have seen someone from Gore, you know? Yeah. They just would have got down to brass tacks. Yep. And they would have got it done. And also I feel like if you had someone from the South Island,

it would be a real contrast to all the Aucklanders. Absolutely. Yeah. I suppose because what do they get out of it at the end? They learn a lot of business skills. $50,000? Oh, okay. And a business mentorship.

Right. So they're all going to start with you. Who would you choose to be your business mentor? If you could choose anyone in New Zealand? I would choose Carl Fletcher. Me. No successful business expense. But like, are successful, who would you go for?

I don't know. I would need to know who likes to do their business mentoring over expensive food. Yeah. Who's a boozer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's going to take me out for some delicious lunches? Who's not going to judge me for my third whiskey sours at lunch?

Someone that owns like a restaurant. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then they're giving you. Yeah, then you're getting your business experience and you're getting free food. I'm going Al Brown. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Perfect. I'm a real big Fed Depot fan. Okay. Yeah. I'm going Ronald McDonald. Now, he's the Scottish restaurateur. Yes. He's done very well for himself.

Yes. Okay. That's the bugger. So, we've got the top six things you're going to see on The Apprentice New Zealand. Because, you know, every time it's like a money-making challenge. Yep. I don't know where that money goes either. Has anybody ever questioned that?

I'm going to hope it's charity. Strange of the coffers. TVNZ. Mike Peru. Of Mike Peros. No, it's not. Strange of the coffers. TVNZ. Mike Peru. Of Mike Peros. No, it's not Mike Peru. Peru. There is no Mike Peru.

I think it's Mike Peru or Mike Pero. Yeah. Mike Peru. You've tried to combine the two. I've cross-pollinated the two of them. So the top six things you'll see on the Apprentice New Zealand for moneymakers. Number six, a sausage sizzle. Outside Mitre 10.

Or if you're in the South Island, it won't be a sausage sizzle. It'll be cheese roll sales. Yes. Classic bit of cheese roll fundraiser. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll see on the Apprentice New Zealand to raise some money. Number four. What? I meant five.

Yeah. Don't discount yourself. I was going to do a 20% off sale. Because, you know, that shows a little bit of business nonce there. As a Mufti Day, because they're all wearing suits and stuff. They're always all wearing suits, right? Yeah. Mufti Day, gold coin donation.

No, remember, you're not allowed to call it Mufti Day anymore. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. You've got to call it Civvies Day or... Casual Dress Casual dress day. Non-uniform days. Do kids who go to schools that don't have uniforms feel left out when they hear everybody else talking about that?

No, they have a uniform day. They do have a uniform day. They take $2 and have to wear a uniform. They just borrow... They borrow the local school who's having a mufti day. They borrow their uniforms. Yes. Oh, my God.

A school should actually do that. That's very funny. Catch a school. They can come in any uniform. Yep. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll see raising money

on the Apprentice New Zealand, frozen pie sales. Did you ever do frozen pie sales at school? Oh no. You'd get like this form and it had all the pies down the side

and you had to like go around and be like, hi, I'm fundraising for my school. Would you like to buy a family-sized pie or maybe individual pies? And they'd be like, yes, put us down for three family-sized steak and cheese. Mints and cheese. And then you'd take your order form in and then one day your mum would have to come and pick you up from school because you had 18,000 effing pies that you had to go and distribute around the neighbourhood.

And then it was a race against time to get the pies to the people who purchased them before they defrosted. Oh, that sounds so stressful. Just do the choccy blocks. Yes, there was chocolate blocks and plastics. Did you ever do plastics? No. That wouldn't fly in 2021. What do you mean plastics?

It was like the pies. You'd go around, you'd be like, Hi, I'm fundraising for my school. Would you like to buy any plastics? And they'd be like, Oh, what have you got? You'd be like, I, I'm fundraising for my school. Would you like to buy any plastics? And they'd be like, oh, what have you got? You'd be like, I've got a tin pack of pens. I've got plastic bags.

It was just all this rubbish single-use shit that probably still looks exactly the same now as it did in the 90s. Yeah. Going to a polvo school? Yeah. We didn't have to do this at Queen Margaret College, I tell you what. My mum liked the pies and the Yeah. We didn't have to do this at Queen Margaret College, I tell you what. My mum liked the pies and the plastics.

She didn't like the chocolate bars. Oh, yeah. She couldn't have that hanging around. Nah. Couldn't do with that temptation. They had that box with the handles. I used to have one down the side of my bed and I'd just eat them. Yeah.

They'd be like, Dad, I need $20. Dad, I've done a bad thing. Number three on the list of the top six things you'll see used to raise money on the Apprentice New Zealand. Quiz night. Yes. Quiz night. It's a classic. Have a quiz night and raise some money for the kids to get along with the camp.

Number two on the list of the top six things you'll see used on the Apprentice New Zealand to raise money. Mathletics competition. Mathletics. Mathletics. Yeah. It was like, you know, you do like a run and they'd sponsor you per kilometre. raise money, Mathletics competition. Mathletics. Mathletics. Yeah. It was like, you know, you do like a run and they'd sponsor you per kilometre. Yeah.

Well, this is like that, except they sponsor you per question you get right. And then you do the maths quiz. Yeah, right. And then you go to your grandparents and you're like, I only got 10 out of 30. And they're like, oh, don't worry, but we'll give you the money. We'll give you the full amount anyway. Yeah. They prey on it because the smart kids,

they go to the grandparents. The grandparents are like, I've got a genius here. Yeah. I'm going to give them the 30 bucks, I promise them. One per question. And then the dum-dums go

and the grandparents feel sorry for their dum-dums. And they're like, oh, you got none right? God, you're dumb. Here's $30. Yeah. Stop being a dum-dum.

And number one on the list of the top six things you'll see used on The Apprentice New Zealand to raise money for their challenges, here's $30. Yeah. Stopping your dumb dumb. And number one on the list of the top six things you'll see used on the Apprentice New Zealand to raise money for their challenges a jumble sale. You know like where you take all your junk along to sell somebody else and then you buy their junk off them but then all the money goes to

whoever you're raising the money for. So you get nothing for selling your junk and then you spend more money buying other people's junk. So you're just losing out aren't you? Yeah it's just a junk. It's not losing. It's charity. It's a junk cycle. It's a junk cycle with nothing in it for you.

Like charity on a whole. What do you get out of it? What are you getting out of this? Feeling good? Yeah, take that to the bank and try to pay your mortgage with that. Hi, I'm just here with my good vibes that I got from raising money for charity. I was hoping that could go towards. It can't.

Okay, well, have the house back. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen my latest post that absolutely caused a real ruckus. It did. It was clickbait. I'll say this. Did you see this photo?

Maybe. What did you do? I saw that. Yes, I did see that. I'll say this. Did you see this photo? Maybe. What did you do? I saw that. Yes, I did see that. So it's a photo of you and you've got your... I'm holding my top up and I've pulled my skirt down a little bit and I'm showing off what looks to be around about a four-month baby bump. I wouldn't say four months.

That's pretty big. Did you kind of push it out though? No. So my stomach is... By the way, I'm not pregnant. I said, oh my God, huge announcement. There's something in my belly. And then I did a little space. You had to click more.

And then I said, it's farts and inflammation. Did anybody think you were pregnant? So many people. My brother texted me and was like, don't do that to me. Oh my gosh. I was like, as if I would tell you via Instagram, my brother. Yeah. Anyway, but I have had honestly, I've loved

working here. It's my last week. It is, yeah. I have loved working here, but it's something about the hours and I don't know. I just lent too hard out of my diet. And I just went ham for the last four months. I've been eating brioches and scones and sweets.

There's a bag of pods outside. I'm going to demolish that as soon as we get off air. And my stomach has been paying the ultimate price. So you're blaming this job and us. Right. For what? That's fair enough. I was on a path.

When we first started seven years ago, I think I put on like seven kgs in seven weeks. Yeah, I'm about four or five up. Bagels. Because you can end up having an extra meal when you wake up so early. Usually I'm not even a breakfast eater and now I've added two breakfasts to the day.

The hobbit approach. I've added two whole meals and they're never healthy. This morning I was like, how many pieces of toast do I want? Two is normal. I had three. I will say, though, that is an excuse because it is possible to be healthy and do these hours. I know. Look at you.

It's hard. You're a vision. But I just was like, you know what? I'm going to give myself this time off. Yeah. Because of my PCOS, I have to be kind of conscious of the food that I put in my body. And I was like, I just can't at the moment.

I'm just going to put it to the side. So the bottle of wine each night is? Yeah. Is that alcohol too? No, no, no. That's to numb the pain. I do that. I do that.

I won't have that judged, actually. Okay. Yeah, you're some sort of like a holier-than-thou attitude to not having a drinking problem and doing these hours. Great for you. Fantastic. Hey, congratulations to your liver. Yeah.

Kudos. Honestly, I have had like kidney pain. Yeah. And I had like a feeling, like some shots happening down here the other day. And I was like, that's the liver. It's not good. So anyway.

And this is why you've got a big announcement. This is why I've got a big announcement. This is why I've got a big announcement is I am starting a 12 week challenge on Monday. Next Monday. When you've left us. Friday is my last day here. And you can't blame us next week.

I can't blame us. It's starting to become winter. My social life slows down a bit. Just had my anniversary. There's no need to be drinking margaritas at 10 o'clock in the morning. I'm just, the time is nigh. Says who?

That sounds like some sort of stupid rule. This is the thing. I've signed up to something I've been wanting to do for a while. It's called the PCOS protocol. It's a 12 week

reset your hormones, reset your gut, all that kind of stuff challenge. And I'm going to be pairing that with my classes with Fletch, obviously. We're hitting the gym nice and hard. we're doing the gym classes. And I'm going to be pairing that with my classes with Fletch, obviously. We're hitting the gym nice and hard.

Yeah, we're doing the gym classes. And I'm going to just use this 12 weeks to concentrate on making my body feel a bit better. But I have, so I don't know much about the protocol. I'm meeting with the nutritionist on Thursday. And I do have a couple of questions. Like where are we at in terms of having a drink or two? Yeah.

So I'm committed to the challenge. Right. Okay. But I'm trying to be reasonable. But I'm committed to the challenge. Days off? Yeah, I'm like, are there cheat days? Yeah.

Are there, what about a vodka soda? That's basically nothing. Do you know what I mean? That's basically nothing. Right. So your list of questions are, are you allowed to drink? Are you allowed to still eat shit food? Yes.

But I'm committed to the protocol. I'm committed to getting my body in a better healthy state. Right. Do you know what works really good? Carrots. Yeah, no, no. I was just meaning in terms of this job and doing something. Right.

It's hearing from other people that have launched into a challenge like this, but have failed miserably. And quickly. I've only ever done one challenge before, and it was like a gut health challenge. And I lasted seven weeks on that, and it was so intense. But I do get that steely-eyed, my mother forced me to play piano when I was a kid, focus. Right.

So I feel like I could get through the 12 weeks. If I'm allowed to. Okay. If you're allowed to. But okay, so here's what I want to do. I want to open up the phone lines and give you some inspiration, Hayley Sproul. Yes, please. 0800 DALS at M. You can text 9696. How long did you make it into a challenge?

Yeah. How far? And then when you tell us, like, you failed after however many days, I will personally attack the challenge. I will tell you it was a stupid challenge in the first place. Like those detox ones. I go, mate, he's always doing those detox ones. And I'm like, you dumbass.

You dumb, dumb fool. So I want to see, did anyone make it like a day? Like even to lunchtime. They're like, Monday, I'm starting this 12-week challenge. This will be a couple of weeks ago I started. I was like, Monday, I'm starting this 12-week challenge. This was me a couple of weeks ago. I started, I was like, nah, I'm sorting it out. I'm cleaning it up. And then we got brioches that day.

Yeah, so 9, 10? And then I told you guys I wasn't going to have a drink and then I literally sent you a photo at like 3 p.m. Like, cheers. Yeah. So how far did you make it into a big challenge, maybe an eating or a fitness challenge, before you failed? Like, was it hours,

days? Or was it 12 weeks like I'm going to? Or did anybody do like the 12-week challenge but then on the 11th week they're like, the final hurdle.

They crumble like so close to the end. Well, Hayley Sproul, on Monday, next Monday, will be kicking into a 12-week challenge.

What's it called? It's called the PCOS protocol. Right. Designed by the PCOS nutritionist. next Monday we'll be kicking into a 12 week challenge what's it called the PCOS protocol right designed by the PCOS nutritionist that's a bank isn't it no

I bank with PCOS very low home loan rates yeah it's a co-op so the fees are low I'm resetting my gut and my hormones and honestly my health

and my happiness right polycystic ovarian syndrome that's what PCOS that's what I've got and I've been ignoring it.

Right. So you've got a history of failing these challenges quite quickly. A deep, deep history. I've succeeded once

in my adult life. We want to know how far in you got to an eating challenge or a diet challenge, fitness challenge before failing. Maybe it was a day

or two or maybe it was like the final hurdle uh henry how far in did you get yeah i got a day into it uh well almost today um yeah um it was just the keto challenge so i think it's you know eat heaps of fat. And so I prepped up the weekend, bought all my nuts, bought all my cheeses,

and then I realised on the Monday that you couldn't have coffee with milk in it. Oh, no, so you'd failed already. Yep, so I gave up. Gave up.

You made it to your morning coffee? Yeah, but like coffee. I mean, I drink two coffees a day. Henry, those are rookie numbers. You need to be drinking two coffees before you even get out of bed. Why are you allowed cheese but you're not allowed milk in your coffee? Some milks have quite a few carbs and it's wasted carbs.

I've done a lot of keto. So you needed to head to the cream. That's all you needed. Wait, so you can have cream but you can't have milk? Oh, keto, when you break it down, is jacked. That's bananas. That is nuts. All right, Henry.

All right, so that's a day. Thank you. Some more text messages in. Somebody said I paid and got all that stuff through the lemon detox diet. Remember the lemon detox diet? That was a dumb, dumb idea. You guys were all stupid, dummy. Lemon juice and cayenne pepper.

And they were like, you have to drink 18 litres of it a day. And you're like, struggling to get through like three. And you're like, no, please don't make me drink any more. 18 litres a day. And then you're like, I've just started my diarrhea. It's like wheeze straight from my bum. And they're like, that's it, baby. It's the lemon detox diet.

And those diets, you're like, you shrink and then you eat anything else. And you put it all back on. And your body's like, okay, we don't know when they're going to do that crazy ass lemon cayenne pepper thing again. Hold on to everything. Someone said they made a day into it. Couldn't do it.

Anonymous, how far in did you get to a diet or a fitness challenge? Look, I'm currently doing an eight-week challenge. How far in? What week are we? I'm parked in my car outside work eating a McMuffin combo. No way! As show sponsors, I can say what a great place to go for a healthy breakfast. And find my boss's food and ducking.

Yeah, duck and hide. Drop the seat back. Drop the seat back. It's not good. It's not good. How do you eat a McMuffin with the seat right back? Like, quick. Hashtag E45.

Oh, you're doing the E45 challenge. They're going to take a photo of you. It's not good. You're going to be shamed. You're going to take a photo of you. It's not good. You're going to be shamed. You're going to be dragged through town. Shame, ding, ding. They'll drag you through town with those battle ropes. How far into the challenge are you?

With a heart monitor on. I think we're in about the sixth week. Is this your first sin? Or have you had multiple McMuffins? Oh, no. No, look, it's just been bad the whole way. You've McMuffined the whole time. The good thing is my workmate is also doing the same challenge

and she was in the drive-thru behind me. Oh, yes. Sins. I love it. All right, well, there we go. Thank you, Anonymous. Some great inspiration for you, Hayley Sproul. Yeah, there is.

I mean, McDonald's gets me a lot as well, especially when I was doing keto. You smell those nuggies. Yeah, there is. I mean, McDonald's gets me a lot as well, especially when I was doing keto. You smell those nuggies. Carl went on the social media desk. Also, how far into a challenge did you get? So I guess it wasn't really a challenge, but I was challenging myself. I decided I was going to go vegetarian.

I've been vegetarian for four years. But the morning I woke up, I said, today's the day. And then for breakfast, I had a sausage roll. The antithesis of vegetarianism. Sausages. And that was reheated too, wasn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, yuck. That's the thing with saucy rolls. That's every animal under God's sun in that thing. All of it. Elbows and arseholes in a sausage roll. That's miscellaneous meat. In a pastry. It's good.

You want to know the whole animal's been used? Well, In a pastry. It's good, it's good. You want to know the whole animal's being used? Well, look, it is. I am starting this in a week's time and 12 weeks after that, I will pop back in and we'll have an update. Well, yeah, I'd love to know. You're going to see me at the gym, Fletch,

so I'm going to be looking good. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Right, I've got some fashion advice for you and the message it's giving out. It's been a study. Who demanded this study? I don't know. It's a very specific study.

Was it one of those studies where they went looking for one thing but accidentally discovered another? Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm not sure, but the study looked at, it was conducted by the University of Michigan. It was looking into the correlation

between the display of brands and the person's approach to a relationship. So people that wear large logos, large brands, could be Ralph Lauren's. You either get that small Ralph Lauren or you get the big massive horse.

It showed that men who opted for clothing with larger logos were less interested in long-term relationships and more interested in brief sexual affairs. And you've got a small logo on today. I normally have small logos. Small sexual rendezvous. I'm into small rendezvous. Vaughan, you're often logo-less. Yeah, all of my clothes are logo-less.

Yeah. What was that term for that? Where you have the fashion that's just plain T-shirts and pants? Boring. Timeless. Oh, right. As someone who can look back at photos from 2006 and be like oh gross that was so definitely 2006 i like to think now my absolutely plain approach to fashion is going to

mean it's going to be okay and i'm not going to be like yeah look back on photos and be like yuck what was i wearing wow so it. So the people wearing larger logos had higher characteristics of flirting, knowingly flirting with someone else's partner and dating more than one person at a time. Whereas people who wore more conservative clothing with a smaller logo, less flashy, was perceived as safer bets for long-term relationships.

But what about douchebags and Ralph Lauren polos? Are they those little polos? Yeah. That's a small symbol. That's a small one, but you can get those Ralph Lauren ones that have the big horsies. The big one. Or your, yeah, your Etnies, skate brands,

big brands blasted on you. iLab's the one that I see everywhere now. Yeah. iLab. I know that's a New Zealand brand, right? Yeah, it is. So there you go. Subtle displays.

Maybe the way to distinguish dads from cads, they've said. Dads from cads? I don't know what a cad is. What's a cad? Let's go to the youth desk. Does anyone know what a cad is? Is it a British? A man who behaves dishonorably, especially towards a woman.

Gosh, you bloody cad. Is it an old word or is it a new word? Her adulterous cad of a husband. Yeah, that feels a year older. Yeah, it's also computer-aided design. Yeah, because that's what I was familiar with. That's how you can do 3D printing and stuff. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct.

A cat is a man who's hanging out the side of his best friend's ride trying to holler at me. I don't want no cat. Cat is bad. Not my dad. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Let's just take a moment to pause and...

Touch, pause, engage. Touch, pause, engage. Let's just give a moment to the people of Twisell right now. It's minus 5.1 degrees. No, they love that though. Do they? Twisell people get very overheated very easily. They love the cold.

Currently zero degrees in Christchurch and Hamilton. Hamilton's got no excuse by the way. It's far too north to be there. Absolutely sort it out. Hamilton's got no excuse by the way It's far too north to be here Absolutely sort it out Hamilton's just like hey guess what Oh well Tell you what I'm feeling blimmin good

It's warm in here and I've had a very Relaxing weekend You had a staycation So on Saturday Fiancee Aaron Greed Grover from Nova, and myself celebrated 10 years together. Wow.

That ad came on the other day when I was watching the news. I was like, it's Greg Grover from Nova. Well, while you were watching that, we were having an absolute... Whoa. No, no, no.

Calm down. Oh. We were far too drunk. No, we celebrated our little 10-year anniversary with a staycation. Calm down. We were far too drunk. No, we celebrated our little 10-year anniversary with a staycation. Wow. We stayed down the road at the new QT in Auckland. They greeted us with a bottle of champagne. Oh, hello.

Oh, la, la. Bonjour, bonjour. We had massages after smashing three margaritas in the morning. I don't know if I've ever had a drunken massage. It wasn't drunken. It was just a little bit mellow. It was really nice. I'd need to go wheeze.

Whenever I drink, I've got to go wheeze straight away. Just go straight through me. I will say, by the time she got to the last, those end stretches, it was a Thai massage. You know, they really bend you around. Or I don't like the Thai. At the end when they do the head twisting got to the last, those end stretches, it was a Thai massage. You know, they really bend you around. Or I don't like the Thai, like at the end when they do the head twisting, I'm like, because you know in the movies

when they break people's necks, like the soldiers, they just go. No, I don't think they do. I didn't get a neck twist. We got spinal twists in there, which for women, if you feel me, you're all out. You're just hanging out. You've got your hands behind your head.

Well, your Tay-Tays out. The Tay-Tays are absolutely hanging loose. And that is washing machine again. The Tay-Tays are absolutely hanging loose. Right. And that is washing machine again. The Tay-Tays are just. It's like this. And usually when you're private, you're like, oh, well, this woman doesn't care. The Aaron's there as well on the other side table looking at me. Ta-Ta's out.

I always want to get to that part of the time message. They're like, relax, relax. I'm like, I am relaxed. I'm just wildly not flexible. Yeah. But look, I highly recommend it. The cutie had this massive bath in the middle of the room, just

behind the bed. So I had a big old bath. Is it weird having a staycation in the same city you live? I don't know. I think it's a nice thing to do. Yeah, I like it too. It's weird because there's not much travel involved. But you feel like you're on holiday. I live in the city. Like I would literally be

staying 200 metres from my house. I'd be like, this is weird. You'd scoot from your house to the hotel. And then I'd be like, I'll just go feed the cat and come back. You'd get home, you'd be like, all right, cat, come on, you can come too and you'd take your cat on your staycation. We were far enough away that it did. And we were walking around Auckland City like,

oh, look at this restaurant. Oh, should we try this? Like you're tourists like little tourists though the margaritas in the morning did mean that we had a big two and a half hour nap so some of the things that I had planned breakfast margaritas maybe not the thing for next time you have after 10 years of relationship do you ever like a relationship, like some advice? Some sage advice. Because 10 years, that's a long time.

It's funny, like I was thinking about it. We were reflecting. We did a bit of reflecting, some romantic reflecting. Is that drunk in the bath? I was drunk in the bath. 21 years old I was when I met Aaron. My advice, just keep showing up. That's what we decided we did.

Just keep showing up. Just keep showing up for each other. And never, never didn't. And that was it. We've literally, our friends asked us about love a couple of weeks ago. We were like, no, we'd be all right without each other. But we just sort of kept hanging out. You kept showing up.

Kept showing up. So you've bonked each other down with paperwork. Again, that's your thing. Yeah, we have. Bury them in admin. Mortgage. Money. We've got a joint Yeah, we have cat house. Bury them in admin. Oh, mortgage. Money. We've got a joint bank account.

We are one. It's impossible. I couldn't possibly leave him. I'm in his brother's wedding photos as well. So, you know what I mean? Oh, don't worry. My sister's brought two different people to two different weddings. You just make sure you get some photos where it's just family.

No partners. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Sweetening our Mother's Day with a cheesecake shop. Oh, Vaughan's triggered the cheesecake shop. God damn it, I love cheesecake shops. I know you do. I love fond memories of the early days of my relationship with Sade.

A family pack of Nando's and a cheesecake from the cheesecake shop. A whole cake? Yep. In bed, we'd sit and we'd eat the whole thing. Oh, man. Oh, well, I mean, she had a super fast metabolism. I didn't. So that was yum, yum.

All right, you only need to make one stop this Mother's Day, and it's the cheesecake shop. And with Mother Sound Sunday, we've got a chance for you to win every day. Two callers on the line. You've got to tell us why your mum's the best. We're going to pick one mum, and you win today's prize, the massage voucher. Jared, why is your mum the best? Well, my little sister was going to primary school,

and she was getting a bit bullied, so my mum gave up her job and decided to homeschool her. That's got the heartstrings, hasn't it? That's really got the heartstrings going. Oh, this is going to be hard. All right, Jared, wait there because we've got Caitlin on the phone. Caitlin, why is your mum the best? That is really hard to follow up, Jared.

Yeah, thanks, Jared. Let's bully him. Yeah. Well, my boyfriend and I just bought our very first home. And unfortunately, it's actually not insulated in the walls. And we've been starting to get really cold. And my mum just turned up with two beautiful, fluffy Peter Alexander dressing gowns for us to say,

hey, you probably can't afford to get the walls insulated, so here's something to keep you warm this winter. Here's some while the Peter Alexander pyjamas cost about the same as insulating a house. Same as a couple of rolls of pink bats. Yeah. On a serious note, isn't there a government initiative

to help people insulate their houses? I think that's for rental properties, isn't it? Yes. Is it not for first-time buyers as well? I think that's for rental properties, isn't it? Yes. Is it not for first-time buyers as well? I'm not sure. I'm just saying you want to insulate that thing. Otherwise, I think... And also, like, how great is New Zealand just be like,

we'll build a house. Do you want to insulate it? Shit, no. It's too expensive. It's so expensive. I'd rather freeze and just burn a gas heater all winter. Caitlin, that is lovely of your mum, but I think the votes are in.

And, Jared, you've taken it out. We're going for your mum. She's won, and we've got a massage voucher for mum for Mother's Day. Oh, yes. Get those knots. All right, congratulations. And if you're after a sweet treat for mum this Mother's Day, the Cheesecake Shop have you covered.

Fletchfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Nero. Your gold medalist. Where's my medal? It's the segment of the show. We award those small achievements over the weekend. The things you do that no one really cares about.

So rude. They go a bit unrecognised. I cleaned the underneath. I've got the drawer in the bathroom. Did all of that. So rude. They go a bit unrecognised. I cleaned the, underneath, I've got the drawer in the bathroom. Did all of that. Beautifully.

Oh, delicious. Do you know what the drawer is? And this is a PSA for everyone that everyone should clean. You know the drawer under the oven? Oh, I never,

I know. You're supposed to put trays in. I even forgot that was there and then I pulled it open and I was like, oh my God, a muffin tray.

I know, and you look and you're like, oh, how did you get in there? Because all the crumbs get in there. But you could clean that and you probably wouldn't

get the praise you deserve. No, I wouldn't. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, why do you deserve a medal? I deserve a medal because I cleaned out a massive wad

of my flatmate's hair from the shower drain because she refused to do it. How big was it? How big was it? Compare it to something we can, a golf ball, a tennis ball. Well, I needed scissors. Oh my dude,

you needed scissors. That's a good one. That's been there for a long time. Why are you cleaning that and not your flatmate? We're in a bit of a flat rivalry and I think she's just trying to get a dig at me so she refused to do it, even though she's the only one with black hair in the flat. You should have taken that ball and put it in her bed.

Yeah, I should have. Or put eyes in it and hide it somewhere. I would have put it in her leftover stir fry in the fridge. That'll teach her. Usually I would have left it, but my mum was coming to visit, so I kind of had to. Now, is that why you've chosen to be anonymous today? Maybe.

Because if your name gets out there, we might be able to identify this flat rivalry. Yeah, all right, anonymous, hold the line in the medal ceremony soon. Sam, why do you deserve the medal? I stood in JB Hi-Fi for over 30 minutes while my fiancé looked at television. He wasn't going to buy one, he just looked at them and I didn't even

nag once. Wow. That's tough. But how does it feel to be in a shopping mall just standing doing nothing, waiting for someone who's looking at something they don't really need? Touche. I'm just saying, you are now ringing up to claim your 30 minutes but I'm imagining he's probably got hours

in arrears to... Hey, hey, this isn't about him. This is my medal. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no fair call. I'm just saying if we're handing out medals. Yeah. This fella needs a medal.

Yeah. Sometimes it is great just to look at the TV. How good is that? But they trick you because they put on animation and animation looks great even on an ordinary TV and then they'll chuck on a nature doco and that always looks like those flying birds always look really clear.

The parrots with all the colours. How many times do you need to look at one TV though? I have quite a new TV, the Samsung frame, it's beautiful. If I was in a store, I'd still be looking at all the other TVs because I'm like, maybe I could go an extra few inches. Yeah.

I think it's just a boy thing. I think it is. Can you? There's always limits to how big your lounges. Wall cavity. Yeah. Oh, my God. Renee, why do you deserve a medal?

So, this week, I cooked dinner at home both Friday and Saturday night instead of getting takeaways or going out. I didn't know that that was possible. I didn't know that there was food in the fridge on a Friday or Saturday. No, I found some in the freezer. I found some of these in the freezer. I thought the oven gets switched off at the moment. Yeah, I didn't think it was the 1980s.

I thought we were, you know, supporting hospitality and stuff. Do you know that people can do that for you? Yeah, no. Yeah, well, we checked the bank account and we were like, oh, we'll leave food in the freezer. This is good for you, Renee. Good for you. I'm really impressed. I'm really impressed too.

Three great medal recipients. All deserved. I know. I think this has been the hardest one in a while. Yeah. So the medal committee. We're just going to go. Who do you want to have bronze?

That one. I mean, this is a huge undertaking. This one was a massive undertaking this was very idle yes so that's bronze and then silver is this one and then gold is that one

great an absolute all round consensus let's kick off the medal ceremony bronze medal today for standing in JB Hi-Fi for 30 minutes and not complaining. Although I feel there would have been a couple of deep sighs.

No, not even an eye roll. Look at the watch. Sam, bronze medal today. Congratulations. Bravo, bravo. That is a great thing. Waiting around for half an hour. Silver medal. Who knew it possible? But the weekend rolled around

and she said, let's just cook at home. Oh. Makes me feel a little bit sick. You work hard. You deserve to eat out. Congratulations to Renee. Congratulations, Renee. Woo! Yay. Congratulations, Renee.

That can mean. I'm emotional. I don't know about you guys, but I'm emotional. As a man that lives in a house with three long-haired wahine and a dog that's got kind of like medium-length golden hair. And me, well, all I've got is a beard and some pubes. That's not going to block out the shower. So glad we know your current pube status.

That's not going to block out the shower at all, but I am in charge of cleaning out the shower hole, and it is one of me. Don't call it the shower hole. Don't call it the shower hole. When you pull the trap out, it's just a gaping hole. Like, I had the thing out. I had the shower trap out.

I had the shower trap out. I had the shower trap out. And I knocked something and it went down the shower hole. I had to climb under the house and under the pipe to get the shampoo bottle out. I went straight down. That could have been a big blockage. You've obviously got a giant drain hole.

I've got a gaping shower hole. But hers was filled with hair. Because her mum's come to visit, she's had it tidy up. She's given it a bit of a trip. Holy shit. I'm sweating now. It's so hot. Talk about shower holes.

It's a gold medal. Congratulations, Anonymous. Also, I want to declare the winner of this ongoing flat rivalry because you took on one of the grossest jobs. Thank you. And you did it with a smile on your face. And you've got a clean shower now. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Fletch gave me a gift. Yes. I did. That I gave Vaughan. No, well, it doesn't matter. It came to me gave Vaughn. No, well, it doesn't matter. It came to me from Vaughn. Yes, thank you. 13 past 8.

We're talking about ghosting. Relationship Expert Online was sharing her ins and outs of ghosting, wondering why we do it. And the response has been huge with so many women in particular sharing their experiences of being ghosted. I was going to say it was more why men are ghosting women. Why men are ghosting women, yeah. I mean, and

then she was talking about all those different rules, like make him wait for intimacy. X amount of dates before you put out. Yeah, X amount of dates, don't jump in there, you sleep with him too soon. Another person even came up with the 90 day rule, three months before you get into it

90 days? No like three minutes Well I mean everybody, each to their own I just feel like if I don't think there should be a rule around it if you're on a first date and you're having a great time and it's consensual, it's enthusiastic

and they're hot and you're getting some great vibes and it's consensual, it's enthusiastic. And they're hot and you're getting some great vibes and it's consensual and everybody's approving adults. Yeah, why not? Absolutely go for it. But it makes no difference. They're saying that people get ghosted whether they make them wait or not. So sometimes you're in the middle of making them wait

and they're like, bye. Do you know it's a challenge, isn't it? And then it's done. The chase is done. And then you're like, okay. Yeah, well, that's a relationship, isn't it, though? The chase. And then it's done. The chase is done. And then you're like, okay. Yeah, well, that's a relationship, isn't it, though? The chase. And then you end up together and you're like, oh.

What, and then you're stuck for 10 years. Happy 10-year anniversary, Aaron. But, I mean, I remember when I was young-ish. And single. This is 10 years ago. I remember when I was single. This happened all years ago. Yeah, when I was single. I'll say that. I remember when I was single. This happened all the time. You'd have like a nice time with someone and then gone.

And they wouldn't text you back. They wouldn't message you. No, you'd message them. Or if you got a text that was like, I'm just not really a kid on anything that's serious. You're like, neither. Just seeing if you wanted to have lunch, you dick. Which you go so often.

Your nickname in certain circles is Casper. Casper the friendly ghost. I have never ghosted. I'm always, if I'm on a date. I probably can't say I've never ghosted. Always polite. But it's certainly easy to get out of things, isn't it, if you just drop off the radar.

What is that? Submarining? Submarining. That's the term where you ghost or you drop off the radar and then like a few months later you're like, you pop back up on the radar. You're a game player. Do you know what?

Having been in a relationship for the last 10 years, I know that if I was ever to be single again, I'm no games. I'm saying what I want. I'm doing what I want. I'm demanding openness and honesty. Like that whole how long do you text them back thing. Yeah, I don't what I want. I'm demanding openness and honesty. Like that whole, how long do you text them back thing. Yeah, I don't want to

seem too keen. It's like, do you feel like texting them? Send them a message. If they don't reply, they're not worth your time. Yeah. Alright, so we want to ask this morning, why is it that you've ghosted someone? Yeah, what are the reasons? Maybe they just isn't. Do they stink? And maybe you were just like,

oh, well that's it it I got what I wanted Next Yeah Like do you have Oh it might not have even got to that Yeah And also It's not just men

Let's put that out there right now Yeah exactly Women ghost men as well Any Regardless of gender Why do you ghost? Why you do it? What's the reasons behind it?

Do you just do it Because you're like Nah I'm a player I'm out of here Or do you do it Because there's the reasons behind it. Do you just do it because you're like, no, I'm a player, I'm out of here? Or do you do it because there was a reason? Maybe you just realised you didn't like the person. It's hard just to say, hey, no, that was fun. I'm not interested anymore. Yeah. Just better just to ignore it.

Would they want to know why? Maybe. Like if you're like, oh, thanks, but no second date. I think honesty is the best policy. Why? You've got foul breath. Oh. I think honesty is the best policy. Why? You've got foul breath. Oh, I couldn't say that to someone. And you're not an interesting person.

I'd just rather ghost them than say that. Exactly. It's coward. Foul breath, fine. That's, you know, point them in the right direction. But no personality. They'll be like, well, not much I can do about that. I've been this way my whole life.

Yeah. So some messages. We've had lots of messages on why people have ghosted somebody. I ghosted a guy as after the first date he'd message me 24-7 and ring me if I didn't reply after five minutes. That's too keen. It escalated to him sending me voice messages of songs that he'd written about me.

Oh, too full on. I got the massive ick off that. Oh, I would have blocked that number immediately. Oh, yeah. Immediately. And then like three years later, he's in 660. And then, you know, all those songs that are so popular now, it's about you, you know?

I'm not saying that that is the case. But what I'm saying is the next great New Zealand musician could just be like trying a whole lot of ideas. Yeah, okay. Fair call, fair call. Lots of different song content topics, et cetera, et cetera. I ghosted a girl as at the end of the date,

she had me come into the house and I was like, here we go. But it was to meet her mother. Nope. And I was like, nope. Oh, no. Too intense. No, no, no.

It was at the end of the first date. Yeah. Stevie, why did you ghost a guy? Because I had been, I just lost my husband, and I thought I will go on Tinder and see what this world of Tinder is like. Yeah. And I met this guy.

It was going really good. We saw each other for like six weeks. And then he rings me one day. He goes, I've got two weeks off work. And I was like, yeah, cool. I think he was going to ask me to do some cool stuff or whatever. And he goes, yes, I thought I'd move in. I'll get mum to help me move in. I was like, what, cool. I think he was going to ask me to do some cool stuff or whatever. And he goes, yes, I thought I'd move in. I'll get mum to help me move in.

I was like, what? Are you serious? Jesus. And I hung up the phone and I never spoke to him again. So you just blocked his number? Yeah, I just blocked it. I was like, no way. And then he sent me flowers like five times.

He went to the uni that I went to asking my friends where I was. I was like, crazy. Wow. Yeah, that was a bit full on friends where I was. I was like, this is crazy. That was a bit full on, eh? Wow. Yeah, alright. I'm with you on that one. That's a fair block there. Fair block, fair block. Thanks, Stevie. More messages in.

Somebody else said, when I was in my 20s, I had a thing for older guys. I met this one guy, brought him home. Wasn't that great. As his mother kept calling, asking him why he wasn't home yet. But that ended up being a good escape. I ghosted the next day.

He called and texted over 50 times within a few hours. I was like, no. Oh dear. Poor guy, probably just wanted to escape mum's grasp. Yeah, exactly. Somebody else said it was an intensity factor after I saw a girl after about a month we slept together.

I thought that was a good amount of time before sleeping together. The next day she started talking about moving to Tauranga from Auckland to be with me. I felt bad because it looked like I had tapped and gapped. But it got very intense from someone that didn't want to sleep together

to someone who wanted to move in. See, it's so hard because I feel like when you're dating, you spend so much time being like, I don't want to come across too keen. And now all we're hearing is people coming across too keen makes people ghost. I mean, don't be freakishly.

Don't move. Yeah. Don't move in together. These are some messages, some Instagram responses on why you had ghosted somebody. Not proud of this, but I ghosted a guy after finding out he had a hairy back. Oh, okay.

Ouch. Linnae, was that you? Me? No, not me. I ghosted a guy because he was stroking my hair while I slept and stuff. And I just felt it a bit clingy, eh? A bit creepy. How long had you been seeing him when he was hair stroking?

Pretty much, like, probably a week. And he started doing that stuff. Maybe sniffing it soon. We had seen each other, like, years ago, pre-children. I have three children now. And, you know, I've been just doing mum life and I thought, oh, yeah, I'll throw myself out there and, you know, because you have adult needs and the rest of it. Yes.

Yeah, so we went and met up with this guy and as soon as he seen me, it was like he fell in love, eh? I love Linnae. You've got an animal magnetism there. It's undeniable. I feel myself becoming somewhat attracted to you over the phone. Linnae, thank you for your message. Some more text in.

I tried to break up and they wouldn't accept it, so I just had to block and ghost. Oh, that's fair enough. Fair block. Someone said I ghost a guy who's 29 and still on his learner's licence. Had he just got it? I don't think that's a reason to leave someone Or to go somewhere

Yeah but you always have to be in the car with them I know like their mother You put the L plates up 10pm babe we better switch over Let me drive Somebody how's this This is a This is juicy

When I was a lonely solo mother Housing New Zealand sent a plumber to work on my house I really felt like sex And then there was something about that sexy tool belt So I asked him if he wanted sex too And then we were quickly in bed And it happened And the next day he texted me his love

His unrequited love I told him honestly it was just about what I needed at the time. Don't contact me again. Yeah, you've unblocked my trains. That's enough. Yeah. That's so hot. The poor arm are coming over.

Yeah, it's like. The tool belt. It's the sort of stuff you see in like 20-minute documentaries that I've seen online. Or it takes an unexpected turn. Yeah. In real life? Wow unexpected turn. Yeah. In real life? Wow.

Unbelievable. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, about the Queen of England. Okay. Elizabeth II. QE2. Yep.

She, not the ship, the woman. You'll find her on currency. Yeah. Stamps. Mm-hmm. And other things. She, in 2009, today's fact of the day, is the Queen of England has a gold-plated Nintendo Wii.

She was gifted in 2009 a gold-plated Nintendo Wii. Which I bet she's never used. Never touched it. Can you imagine her doing like the tennis or something? God, imagine a gold-plated... She can ride horses. And she got this in 2009. Yeah, right.

So like 11 years ago. I feel like a gold-plated Wii would slip out of your hand if you were a tennis player. I know, and it would be so heavy, it would smash the screen. You've always got to put the band on if you're playing Wii because, yeah, they do. They'll slip straight out of your hands

and sometimes you get angry and you want to throw the controller and you accidentally will but if you've got the wrist thing on it won't go too far. But she this was when they were bringing out a game called Big Family Games and they wanted to promote that the family can play all these games together

and they said well there's no more known family than the royal family. So they gold plated a Nintendo Wii and sent it And sent it to the queen Do you reckon she needs like Prince William or Harry To put it on AV2

Or whatever channel it's on Like every time I reckon they've pressed an ox but she doesn't know which one They've taped over every button on the remote That she doesn't need to use So you see now when people's grandparents are like Look these ones you don't need to use So we're just going to put tape all over them.

This is the on and this is the volume and these are the channels. Those are the only ones you don't touch all of this. No. Don't touch all of that. Or she's got a notebook beside her TV and she puts on her reading glasses and licks her thumb and turns the- Use the grey remote to turn the TV on. Then you don't need that remote anymore.

Yes, and then put the remote down. Then press HDMI in. Push that twice or until it gets to HDMI 2. This is like every Christmas, everyone explaining things to old people and their family. And then press the on button on the Nintendo Wii. That's the gold thing. And the remote for that is also the thing that you play with.

I want to know if she's actually used it. Yeah, I don't have any word on whether or not she'll ever, like, huh. Well, if she's listening. And no doubt she will be. Maybe she's listening to the podcast. Oh, 100DialZM. Yeah. Text9696.

Message FMZM, Queenie, and let us know if you ever played that gold Nintendo Wii. The image of it is funny to me. I thought about this the other day day and I don't know why, but even like, what is she wearing her feet at home? Will she slip into a loafer? A slipper?

Oh yeah. A house slipper? Because I don't ever see her in those nice shoes. Brogy, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. It's listed on eBay. It's not a one-off.

It says here, this 24K gold-plated Nintendo was made for Queen Elizabeth. It's now listed on eBay for $300,000. What? So she's going to make a profit on this gift? She must not. Did she send it back to them? The seller notes that the listing has somewhere on the bottom.

My guess is that it was actually used at one point, he says, and that the serial number is slightly covered with the red fabric the queen used to display it on. So she used to put it on like a felt. Yeah, I've got it. I think they sent it to her on this red felt pillow for display purposes to make it look extra royal. And she turned up her nose at it.

Well, no, maybe they said that there's some wear, like someone did use it, and then maybe she gave it to somebody who worked at the palace. She was like, yeah, it doesn't say who the seller is. But why would they want money for it? It was a gift. Well, because it's plated in gold. Well, you know what? It says plated in gold, but you know when you get something plastic

and it starts scratching, it doesn't look very gold. Well, no one's going to pay $300,000. Yeah, very thin plate of gold. Well, there you go, $300,000. That was four days ago, that news story. Two. Should we chip in? Nah.

Maybe ask your private school friends. If they want to buy an almost out of date. Feels like Queen Margaret. Let's chip in, babes. Let's get it. From Queen Elizabeth to Queen Margaret. So today's fact of the day is the Queen once owned, but apparently now does not because it's for sale,

a gold-plated Nintendo Wii. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Producer Jared was sharing a story of an Uber ride that he took over the weekend. This Uber ride featured a stop, a non-requested by them stop. You know, when you're an Uber passenger, you can say, oh, do you mind just stopping in here

for an ever so momentarily? We're going to get some thurries. Well, you do that thing where you can add a stop if you're picking up friends on the way to the airport or whatever.

Or to the bar or whatever. But this wasn't a stop that you requested, Jared. Nah, so we were humming along and then he goes, hey, do you guys mind if I just stop

at the gas station real quick? And we're like, yeah, mate, no worries. Assuming he's gonna fill up the car. And then he didn't pull into the gas station. He parked up on the road next to it and then just got out the car, waddled in, was there for like five minutes. Waddled in? Waddled in. I got a real sense of

how he walked in. It was a great adjective. Is he a duck? Yeah. And then he was in there for a few minutes and then he waddled out, munching on a

Snickers bar. What? So did he go to the toilet? Yeah. So I reckon he dropped a deuce. Are you really

long enough there to have pooped? Yeah, I reckon he chased one out. How many minutes? We were in there for four to seven minutes.

He shouldn't have picked up, he shouldn't have said yes, I accept this Uber ride that has been requested. Yeah, that's an odd. With the number twos on board. Oh, I know. But it does sound like a twos the way that you describe his waddle. The waddle was to do with that. I was expecting him to be a big lad.

Or like Mitch said, duck. So you're getting charged for that too. You're getting charged for that. So I thought Uber set the price at the start and then that was the price. But someone told me that it like creeps up a little bit. No, because if they're waiting outside for any longer, they can start and there's a waiting time.

And then if you're stuck in traffic, it's more, isn't it? I just thought it was a journey fee. I don't know. We got one the other day and it was 60 bucks. Like it was a Saturday, you know. Oh, the surge. Yeah, well he had a surge but you didn't get a refund, did you? No.

Oh, but the other week we caught a separate Uber to the 660 concert and we tried to catch one back. Surge was $150. Yeah. Do you know what I've found? You walk like at least 500 metres and you get out of that surge zone. Yeah, we walked 20 minutes and got it down to 50.

Yeah. There you go. 20 minutes. It's quite far. Jesus. Wow, so a little Snickers. Did he offer to get you guys something? No, but what if we had a nut allergy?

What if you had a nut allergy? You didn't check that. You're in a closed space with a peanut. Is it airborne, nut allergies? I'm not sure. It can be. If it's really severe, they can't even be around it. That's why they don't let you have them at school anymore.

Yeah, or on planes. Remember how planes stopped serving nuts because nuts could get into the air con? The vents, yeah. You get a nut in the vent? Yeah, you get a nut in the Pullman vent and we've got a bloody another outbreak. Oh my God, I know.

We've got another outbreak. So, Jarrod, did you say anything to him when he came back? No, we were just shocked. What did you review him? another Pullman vent and we've got a bloody another outbreak. Oh my God, I know. Another outbreak. So Jared, did you say anything to him when he came back? No, we were just shocked. What did you review him? I would have said, did you just shit on my guy?

Like, this is, I'm doing, was it a poos? I deserve to know, I'm paying. But what's the alternative? You're going to watch

this man cack himself while he's driving around town? That's worse. You know what? I'd rather that. How could, whenever you're driving, and then you just hear...

Well, Vaughan. Always late, Vaughan Smith. Always late. There's always a moment in the morning around 5.36 where Fletcher will go, should we just get started without him? And then he rolls in, baby, just when you need him the most.

That's why I do it. It's a hero's entry every morning. I feel like it was acceptable when you would arrive late with puppies, but now you bring nothing. Okay. You bring absolutely nothing. I'm bringing these puppies.

I don't think your moves count. Just for you listeners, he is cupping his non-existent moobs. So a study's been done. Thousands of Americans were asked in this study about timekeeping and lateness. Two out of five find it socially unacceptable for someone else to be late

to anything. A work meeting, a social gathering, a date? I feel like if it's a consistent thing, like if it is something that is happening every time, you're like, oh, so-and-so's always late. Yeah, that's Vaughan. I'm never late. So, Vaughan, you will often be told

that meetings are 15 minutes before they actually are or even half an hour at times. Just so you're there on time. The poll considers anything late. People are asked, like, what do you think is late? 13 minutes is late. 13? Oh, no, I'm like 10.

Yeah, see, I'd be 10. I think I'd be 10 max. 10, I'm like, oh, no, it's fine. It's still within the thing. And then people that are like, oh, my God, the traffic. And then they've got a coffee in their hand. It's like, oh, yeah, that's a big balls move, that one. That took you as long as you are late to get that coffee.

That is unacceptable. Traffic out there today is actually mind-blowing. It's an iced one, too. It's always an iced one. Yeah. So out of the study done, 56% of people plan ahead to ensure that they're never running late. Another 60% swear by being early. And yeah, 39% believe it's socially unacceptable to be late.

Seven out of 10 friendship groups have that friend, Vaughn, who's always late and cannot be early. If I'm by myself, yes. But if we're going somewhere as a family, I find it hard to be late because I start getting nagged about it about an hour before I have to leave. Yeah, but that's because your wife has to do that. And here at work, we do that for you too.

The only times I've known you to be early for something was like, was it a Star Wars movie? A premiere? You were there super early for that. You've got to get good seats. But that's the only thing that will motivate you to be early. Nothing else. Good seats. Star Wars.

Marvel movies. Nerd stuff. I always do like my clock on my car is seven minutes fast. No, I don't like that. No, because I can just be like well that's fast. Yeah, and I do that every morning. I'm like it's fine, I've got seven minutes. But I always try to be 15 minutes early so that even if I'm running late, I'm on time.

Yeah, see, I'm like you. I'm that person that will just rather sit in my car and be embarrassingly early than show up late. I get anxious. I don't want to seem too keen. I don't want to seem too keen. Yeah, right. That's my approach to work.

Just don't seem too keen. In life, just anything really. Just kind of trundle along on Wooden Smith. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.