ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 3rd November 2021

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleach, Vaughan and Megan. I'm on a fucking sugar high right now. Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3. And also dine-in at level 2. Can you please not move the microphone while I'm doing the ad lib? We gotta let it. Turn your microphone off if you're gonna move it.

I always try to, but then sometimes I accidentally turn it on. It's just a push on and off. You couldn't care less about the quality, could you? You're rough as guts. Yes, I am rough as guts. You're rough as guts. Now, we do. Preview my sound.

Oh, sorry. Thanks, Mailbox. We just got a letter. We just got a letter. We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter Wonder who it's from Do you know what that's from? No, I've got no idea

Blue's clothes Yeah, I'm two I'm three And I don't I'm two I'm three And I don't have kids So I'm not At all You're too old to I watched it myself

Yeah Don't know I was in I was in Louder TV Blue's Clues Yeah I went to a

Desire What's the lowest Desire school One Yeah one Right Yeah So this comes from

Picky We didn't have anything, Megan. Yeah. Kia ora, Fletch, Fawn and Megan. I hope you're all well and healthy during these unprecedented times. And I want to thank Tamaki Makauro. Makauro. Makauro.

What? Makauro. Tamaki Makauro. Makauro. Yeah. Ah, Makauro. God. It's not K-A-I.

It's K-A. You're rough as guts. K-A-R-A-U. Tamaki Mak as guts. K-A-R-A-U. Tamaki Makaurau. Makaurau. Yeah. Tamaki Makaurau. God, have you been listening to any news or anything?

I think I have. Have I always said Tamaki Makaurau? Yeah, but I don't like correcting you on the radio because I sound like a bitch. Oh, no, no. No, you should correct him. No, heavens. He'd be corrected. Please correct him next.

It's K-A-U-R-A-U. I don't take offense when someone's like, you've not said that Maori word right. You know how you say ro at the end? Ro, yeah. The ko part is the same. Koro. But it's K-A-R-A-U. K-A-U.

Is it K-A-U? Yeah. All right. Well, Piki spout it wrong. Don't blame. But also I've been saying it wrong, so nobody's perfect. I want to thank Tamaki Makauru for being boss babes

and taking this one for the country. Thank you. Firstly, I want to say big thanks. I've been listening to the show for a while. Wow. Even mentions Chris, the producer. Wow. Okay, going back to the radio station that shall not be named.

You, Baze, have helped me get through some tough times in my life. My name is Picky and I've just had a new company called Sweetshop New Zealand, a small business online store from the Kapiti Coast. We sell a selection of lolly mixes and some international goodies, which are included in the box. And Executive Internanya is currently on a sugar high like I am. Can I say these lolly boxes, 10 out of 10 for selection. I just had a roll up.

So good. That looked like an American roller. That didn't look like an hour roller. There were some American treats in there as well. But yeah, those lollies, top notch. They go on to say sweetshopnz.co.nz and there's even a discount code for podcast listeners. Oh, get that out because it's good to support local businesses. FEM.

FEM. Zed M. FEM. Zed M. That's the code. Yeah, you can get 20% off. That's a decent code. Too big of a code.

You're always peddling on Instagram, Megan. You're always like, Megan 10. I'm like, bitch, you're at least worth 30. You should pay. These are local places. You should pay. You should pay full price. That other one the other day, you were like, bitch, you're at least worth 30. You should pay. These are local places. You should pay. You should pay full price.

That other one the other day, you were like, Megan 2. It's like 2%. 2%, you're better than that. Inflation's higher than your percentage. Stop putting yourself down. You're at least a 30. They put a fucking discount code up for ages, and you should be grateful. Come on, buy this moisturizer, Megan 3. Did I even peddle some moisture on you? grateful. Megan 2. Come on, buy this moisturizer, Megan 3.

Can I even peddle some moisture on you? Megan plus 10. Excuse me? You have to pay $10 more. You didn't even give a discount code on your last ad. No, I don't do discount codes. Because that vacuum cleaner is too fucking expensive. I can't afford your bloody Super Shark Sucky 5000. You need to

give me a discount code. Yeah, right, okay. Even if it was, um, the discount code was Fletch Free Post. And then, you know. We don't have a cat for a discount code for your fucking temptations. I've got to pay for that couch that he's fucked somehow. Jesus, you what?

I can't believe you haven't smacked that cat. I've seen a lot of swearing. The other day I came home and there were just foam bits everywhere. He's penetrated through the outer layer, through the second layer, and now it's onto foam, and I'm seeing wood. That's a multi-cat effort, though, because Karen the cat was a real shitbag when it came to clawing the couch. R.I.P.

Karen started it. I feel like we've overshadowed this letter that we've had. The lovely letter. Thank you very much, Becky. With lots of swearings and getting each other. Yeah, and the discount code for the fam as well. Give the website please born again. Sweetshop.

This is a podcast, mate. It's not live radio. They can rewind it if they're that desperate for the URL. Yeah, but I'm just saying people might. I'm creating a little bit of urgency, a little bit of exclusivity. Sweet shop NZ. .co.nz. Yeah.

Thank you, Megan. Because I mean, we don't want to rewind it. It's annoying. Do like eight 15-second rewinds. Oh, yummy, yummy. Just remember how many rewinds you did because then you do that many fast forwards to catch back up. Right.

Okay. That's how that works. Popcorn Cheetos. Get out of here. Is that like a, like a, like. That's how that works. Popcorn Cheetos. Get out of here. It's like a, like a, like a, I don't know, because Cheetos, they're like a cheese snack. Yeah, it's still cheese. It says cheddar flavor. Now, why Executive Minton only sent a link for bidding?

No, you haven't put the NZ. Switch up NZ.co.nz. There. And there's Twinkies on there, too. Twinks? Oh, Ding Dongs. What? Ding Dongs. Twinks with Ding Dongs. And there's Twinkies on there too. Twinks? Oh, Ding Dongs. What? Ding Dongs.

Twinks with Ding Dongs. How many? How much are they? How big are the Ding Dongs? Bite size. Bite size Ding Dongs. Okay. All right.

Well, there you go. Use that code. And thank you very much for that lovely sweet treat. Yeah, thank you. Very much appreciated. Play. ZN's Fleechvorn and Megan. Thanks, Rachel.

Good morning. welcome to the show Fleets Vaughan and Megan, three minutes past six Morning We've just realised the Prime Minister's on the show today Don't know what we're going to ask her Oh yeah Can you let us out? I don't feel like punishing her

I don't feel like punishing you. I don't feel like punishing you. I know she gets it enough, but at the same time, you've got to ask questions. My question is how many different groups of people are there now that are angry at you? Everybody seems so angry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Clark's probably out moving a house somewhere. Oh, my God. I saw a house moving this morning. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Clark's probably out moving a house somewhere.

Oh my God, I saw a house moving this morning. Did you? Yeah. He won't take his high-vis off. Like on the TV show. Yeah, I didn't see if Clark was involved. There was like literally a house on a truck. He won't be involved because of the levels.

Oh, right. They have to wait apparently. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or what kind of house was it? Like an old villa? A weatherboard? Weatherboard one.

That's not a job I could do because I'm a bit like, I'm a real guesser. I'm a guesstimator. I'd be like, yeah, that house will fit under that bridge or between those two poles. Oh, yeah. And then it gets stuck and I'd be screwed. It's four o'clock in the morning. There's a house wedge between two poles. Yeah.

Not a job for me. I just undo the ratchet tie downs and drive away and then be like, I don't know what happened to the house. You're like, is that balanced? Yeah. I reckon. And then it's like. The key to a good eyeing anything is you shut one eye and lean one way

and then you shut the other eye and lean the other way. Yeah. She'll be right. Close enough. Yeah, I reckon that looks about good. All right, well, the Prime Minister joins us at quarter to eight this morning. Secret sound, $50,000 is the jackpot.

And I'd imagine we need confetti cannons. We're out level three point whatever confetti cannons because this could go any moment. $50,000. Yeah. Spray the hand sanitizer. Look sharp and essential. They're doing click and collect.

I walked past it the other day. Shall I call in and get some cannons? I reckon on the way home you should pop in and get some cannons. That'll give us some joy. Well, 7 o'clock this morning and 8 o'clock. All thanks to Neil and your chance to get through and guess what the secret sound is to win that cash. The top six on the way.

Yeah, the top six bitter headlines the Herald could have used to tell us about the rising price of beer. Rising beer leaves bitter taste. Rising beer prices leave bitter taste. You're not happy with that? That's cute. Bitter beer? Yeah, I know, That's obviously the pun. Bitter is the pun.

Yeah. And you were telling me headlines have got to have... An active verb. An active verb, which is rising? No. Yep, yep. Which is when you said, what's an active verb? Yeah, because I know adverbs.

Rise is the verb and rising would be the active verb. Because it's happening. Yeah, right. It indicates that it's happening. Beer is the noun. Yes. Good work. Bitter is the adjective.

Because it's a describing word. Yeah. But it's also a pun, so is that a punjective? Okay. Because this is all, this is when, I've been helping, this is August, by the way. Yeah. Our seven-year-old, she's like, all right, what's an adverb? I was like, ask your mother.

And then you quickly Google while she goes away. I say, quickly ask your mother. That's an adverb. So I've learned that's not just a verb, but a descriptive verb. Yeah, right. Good. Good for you. Nearly 40, and you've learned that.

I don't know if I was taught that at school or I just never retained it. Descriptive verb. Yeah, right. Good. Good for you. Nearly 40 and you've learnt that. I don't know if I was taught that at school or I just never retained it. No, I didn't retain it because I don't know what any of those are. I was taught it. So either your teacher was shit or you weren't listening. Yeah, I think I was at college when I learnt what verbs, nouns and adjectives were. I was focused on lunch break. Yeah. Quite a lot, yeah.

Focus. That's the... Adverb on lunch break. Yeah. Quite a lot, yeah. Focus. That's the... Adverb. Adverb. No. But what's focusing? Focusing is a verb. To focus is a verb.

It's active because it's got an ing on the end. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, I believe so. So to activate the verb, you put an ing on the end. It needs to be... In process. Okay, what about... It needs to be active. What about poopies? What's that? That's the verb, you put an ing on the end. It needs to be inged. In process. Okay, what about poopies?

What's that? That's the verb. Okay. Pooping is the active verb. No, poop is the verb. Poopies is a noun. Are you calling your poop poopies? Oh, yeah.

Or are you pooping? No, I'm calling it poopies. So I'm going poopies. Yeah. I'm doing poopies would be noun. There'll be some English teachers out there right now marking us down. Poopies is the noun and I'm going poopies is the verb. Learning.

And I'm going runny poopies is an adverb. Right, okay, great. No, no, it's not. No, that's just an adjective. Okay. Runny would describe the poopies. Well, anyway. The English language sucks is what I'll say. Yeah, it's not. No, that's just an adjective. Okay. Running would describe the poop. Well, anyway. The English language sucks, is what I'll say.

Yeah, it's real hard, eh? It's stupid. Yeah. It's dumb. Well, anyway, the top six are dealing with some better headlines. If you can come up with six and work out your... Well, I'll have to run them past Professor Pappas at the English Centre. All right, the top six coming up next on the show. A woman has awoken.

Verb? Active verb. I don't. From a coma with a Kiwi accent. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. A woman, this is an American woman. So she was hit by an SUV. I'm sorry to start this so negatively.

Yeah, wow. But you'll be happy to know she's okay. So she was crossing the street. She got hit by an SUV. I'm sorry to start this so negatively, but you'll be happy to know she's okay. So she was crossing the street, she got hit by an SUV, and she was in a induced coma for two weeks. Now, when she woke up, she couldn't speak and she was confused and disorientated. And then when she finally managed to get her voice back, she was no longer, or she no longer had an American accent. She had what they're describing as a Kiwi accent. Now, I've got some audio. It's a low-quality audio, but see if you can make out her accent. The most obvious thing is the accent.

I didn't do it with, like, any intentionality. I actually got an MRI done because of it and I see the neurologist next month and they're going to read the results To confirm whether or not it's foreign accent syndrome That doesn't sound like a Kiwi It kind of sounds like a Kiwi that's gone to the UK Or the UAE after two months

That's how they talk Oh my god, I'm loving London But considering she had a Californian accent Oh wow, Californian, okay And her boyfriend is English But she's never been to New Zealand So Because it's more British, isn't it?

But then there are some twangs Yeah Some Kiwi twangs in there Yeah So yeah, they're thinking it's foreign accent syndrome Because there have been Some famous ones Over the years Yeah

There was a White woman who woke up With what they said Was a Chinese accent But I almost felt like That's just Their speech Is impaired

And every accent Has you know Like markers Of what makes That accent That accent And I think Kiwis We like

Drag out vowels Like Did you hear those ones I was literally like I was like a kid Walking around in jandals makes that accent that accent. And I think Kiwis, we like drag out vowels. Like, did you hear those ones? I was literally like a kid walking around in jandals, scuffing them on the floor. Drag out vowels. I drag out my vowels. And so does Australia. So the minute you start dragging vowels,

you sound like you're from the South Pacific. Yeah. You know, so that's probably why they said Kiwi, but it's an impediment because she had a brain injury because she was in a coma. But she apparently woke up with a French accent at one point and she went to Russian and now it's kind of settled on Australian, New Zealand, British.

She went Russian. If you can wake up with imposter syndrome, would it be Scottish? Would it? Yeah. Italian or French? Yeah. Or Spanish. I'm not going to go Indian, am I?

It would be cancelled immediately. He's got a brain injury but he started speaking with an Indian accent. But he's white. But it's a brain injury. Get him off the radio. Imagine if you came back to work. I know. It'd be horrible.

I'd be like, I'm not even going to do it now. But you could. You just have to. Vaughan's taking extended leave. Why? He's got foreign syndrome. He's got the syndrome Yeah Because he had a head injury

Oh my god What accent did he get? Indian Well I can see why He didn't come back to work But if I had Scottish I could be like Ah

Bing the ad And I've got It would definitely be South African You'd do that too often Oh yeah Just be like Stuck behind your brain

Somewhere Yeah Be like Oh no I feel foreign It's just my head's Had a donk You do that too often. Just be like stuck behind your brain somewhere. Yeah. Be like, oh no, I feel fine. It's just my head's had a donk. But no, I'm doing okay. And you know what? I think it would be weird to get used to. But I wonder if it would slowly wear off.

Yeah, maybe. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back.

And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back.

And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back.

And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back.

And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back.

And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back.

And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. And go back. Long you'd spend here. Yeah. Wild. Absolutely wild. Jeez, just imagine waking up with one.

People are like, why are you being racist? You're like, I promise I'm not. I've had a brain injury. Yeah. All right, 16 past six. Next on the show, a way to get a better night's sleep. Apparently, if you do this one thing, you're twice as likely to get a better night's sleep.

Why are you laughing? Because I was just waiting for Vaughn to do do you know, charades. An inappropriate accent. No. Ah, about what you can do for a better night's sleep. Yeah. I mean, if it was playing with yourself, I don't think we'd even talk about it. It's not news, is it? Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, apparently

research has found that if you go to bed nude and sleep naked, you are twice as likely to have a good night's sleep. Because your body is... Well, I guess it regulates the temperature better. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't we talk about this last week?

I feel like it is a story that comes around every six months. Liz, you're going to give us all the imagery of you sleeping naked. I say it feels like it either happened last week or it's scarred

into my brain. It's into your memory. Excuse me. Is it burned into my brain? Or we talked about it at some stage over the last

and it all feels like the same. I think it's that option. Yeah, I think the pandemic has kind of moulded time together. Right. Yeah. Melded. Melded.

Melded? Melded. Melded. Melted. Not melted. Melded. Melded. I believe it's melded.

Melded? It's not moulding. You're moulding. No, you're not moulding. Is that an adjective? A place that mould would be. We're doing a lot that an adjective? A plastic mould would be a mould. We're doing a lot of chat about. To meld would be a verb.

A lot of English chat today. Yeah. Melded. Well, anyway, the pandemic certainly has. Yeah, melded, blend or combine. Blended, combined, all of our. Combined, yes. It's a post-tense of combined. Has compounded all of our chats Combound, yes. It's a post-hensive combined.

Has compound all of our chats about nude sleeping. Right. Yeah, no, apparently, especially in summer, you know, might be a good idea. You have a top sheet though, eh? Yeah, top sheet. Because, ugh, imagine if you're sleeping naked and you're just rocking straight on to do that.

I don't know how anyone doesn't have a top sheet. You're nasty. You're nasty if you do that. And I know it's all the rage to not have a top sheet. Yeah. But that's a lot of duvet washing. And you know they're not washing the duvet enough. Nah, 100% they're not.

I slept in the outside room again last night. Were you in trouble? So much trouble. No, it's because the plaster is sanding because of the bathroom renovations. And it's just dusty everywhere. Wait, where does Sade sleep? In Indy's bed. And Indy sleeps

in the double bed with August in her room. Don't know why August has the biggest bed. Right. KG to bed size. She's absolutely living in the lap of luxury. Why does she want to sleep with her sister? I don't know. They always have. Do they like each other? Yeah, they do. That's so weird.

It is weird. None of us can relate. It's cold out there. Right. And I have a better sleep when I'm cold. Like when I'm struggling, not struggling to stay warm, but when I'm cold, I have a far better sleep. Really?

Yeah. You can take your knickers off tonight. Try that. You might have a really good night's sleep. It might be doubly better Because it says here I'm regulating my heat Twice as better Because it's cold out there

Yeah I'm going to lay my head down on my pillow tonight And then suddenly this image of you In the outdoor room Taking your knickers off Slipping out of my knickers After that Well my knickers have been melded

To my body Yeah, yeah, yeah You've got to unmold them I've got to unmold them The uncombined my knickers. And report back tomorrow. Let us know how you go. Okay.

I'm going to sleep naked on the outside road. Okay, but have a pile of clothes ready to go in case there's a civil defence emergency. Well, that's what? Or a possum outside or something. Yeah. Okay. I'm not running outside for a possum. I'll leave it be.

What happens if you need a wheeze in the night? Just go wheeze outside. Off the what? The deck? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Why don't you go out naked or would you put your knickers on to then?

No, I'd go out naked. I'm not putting my knickers on to go out and then I'm not melding with the knickers to go outside to wheeze and then come back and once again, un-meld with the knickers. Next on the show, Mitre 10 has announced its most popular item during all of the lockdowns. Yeah. What is it? Tell you when you'll find out next. ZDM, Splash, Ron and Megan.

Mitre 10 have released what is the most popular click and collect item during lockdown. All the regions that have had click and collect. Something cleaning. No. The other thing that Gen Zs and millennials love. Plants. You betcha. You betcha.

Now, probably I could have asked Dave this. Sooner me and Dave. Stop pretending you're friends with a guy that runs Mitre 10. Two Mitre 10s. Don't downplay Dave's importance. Okay, right. In Mitre 10, he could have tolds. Don't downplay Dave's importance in Mitre 10. He could have told me. He's got the biggest one, doesn't he? He's got the biggest one.

How did you even get to be Facebook free? Who added who? You added him. No, I think he messaged me. He messaged me saying my daughter, I think she was on an OE, she listens to your podcast and she tells me that you're always raving about Mitre 10 and that's my Mitre 10. And I was like, I love you.

And then I realised I said that a little bit too quick. Yeah, right. Okay. And then, yeah, we're pals. Now you have a bromance. We've got a bromance. Right. And he's going to have the biggest Mitre 10 in New Zealand when the extension's finished.

Yeah, okay. But is it plants or... My boyfriend's is bigger than yours. Is it plants or potting mix? No, it's potting mix. Potting mix is the single most popular product. Which is amazing. Sold by Mitre 10.

Because I would have thought there would have been so many old mates doing renos, like hanting and jib stopping. Yeah, but there's so many... So many different things. Yeah, there's so many different things. But the one thing you need if you're buying a new pot plant and you're repotting is potting mix. That's because I do need some potting mix. I bought a whole trolley load, like 10 things of potting mix.

You'll get Legionnaires if you're not careful. Where are you storing it? Outside shed. Yeah, good. Oh, you're going to get Legionnaires disease. Why? Because of the shed. Do you know a lot of people don't know you're meant to wear gloves

when you're using potting mix? And a mask. And either do it in a very well-ventilated area or wear a mask. Like outside. Yeah. The most well-ventilated area known to man, woman, outside. In a breezy body. Yeah.

Yeah. I never wear gloves doing that. Oh, it gets under your fingernails, doesn't it? And then I chew my fingernails and, you know, that's my vaccine. It's your natural immunity to Legionnaires. Let's leave this up to my immune system I like to clean hospital air conditioning filters To get my Legionnaires Yeah, give those mouldy filters a little lick

So yeah, it's potting mix So much potting mix You know what I'd like more of? I'm talking actual stats, like how many kilograms Ask Dave He might know his store, but he can't speak for everybody, surely. I mean, this has been some Mitre 10 AGM on Zoom. Yeah, it might have been.

I got a potting mix once, and it had lots of little, like, flies in it. Not from Mitre 10. I forget where it was. It was like a garden store. Is that good or bad? Ganads? The little... Yeah, the little...

Ganads? Tiny, tiny... They're not gonads. They're gnats. Gnats. Yeah, young gnats. They're young baby gnads? Yeah, the little, the tiny, tiny. They're not gonads, they're gnats. Gnats. Yeah, young gnats. They're young baby gnats. You let the soil dry out and then there's a little spray you can get and then they go away.

Oh, black flag. No. You can just give it a bit of ray, dude. But isn't that a sign of a healthy soil if it can maintain life? Like it's got organisms and stuff. Yeah, but for an indoor pot plant. And then suddenly all those little bugs

are flying around in your house all the time. Yeah, and you're just like, okay, great, what have I brought into my house? How would you pot plant in an apartment? Would you do it

in the laundry or the bathroom? No, you just do it in the lounge and put down a big sheet. Right. Yeah. Like a deck security. And then once you're done,

you shake the sheet out over the balcony and everyone's like. Like wedge it out the window and then shake it down onto unsuspecting Auckland pedestrians. 100%. From the fart-addled ZM think tank,

this is the top six. Let me find it. Let me find it. Let me find it. Where is it? Where is the story? Is it in the business section? Why would it be in the business section?

Because it's about... Business. It's about... It's about business. It's not in one roof. Is it in... Not in one roof. It's right there.

Where? I see beer. Oh, yeah. See, now this is a better headline. I didn't see this one, but the front page headline about rising beer prices, rising beer prices leave bitter taste. Maybe they didn't have a lot of room in the layout.

They didn't really have too much room. Yeah, right. But I mean, what do they design the cover on? Photoshop or something? People who are experts in their field love it when someone comes along and goes, I could have done this better. Alcohol prices set to take fizz out of summer.

Oh, yeah. It's slightly better. Yeah. Kiwis should brace to pay more for beer and other alcoholic beverages by the end of summer. God, so everything's going up. Like, literally at the moment, everything is going up. How expensive is mints? Months.

It's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that's a real... It's one of the price markers, is mints? Months. So crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that's a real, it's one of the price markers, isn't it? Mints. Well, I've got the top six better puns the Herald

could have used for rising beer prices. Okay. Number six. Why your bar tab just got lager? Okay, I like that one. That's pretty good.

But it doesn't make sense though, does it? Yeah, because it's like larger. And I don't think a headline's supposed to have a question. Oh, fuck. Says who? God, somebody did a journalism paper, didn't they? I did actually.

I was part of our school newspaper and I won an award. So, eat it. Why your bar tab just got lager? It's clickbait headlines. Yeah, I like it. Why your bar tab just got lager. It's clickbait headlines. Yeah, I like it. I like it. I'm gonna click that. Yeah. Well, I need to know. Number five on the list of the top six better puns the hero could have used for rising beer prices. You'll never Guinness

Oh, no, I didn't say it right. I didn't hear anything. Start again. What? You'll never Guinness. What's more expensive now? Because Guinness is guess with an N in the middle. You'll never Guinness what's more expensive now. I think we could have got there. It looks better in writing than it does said out loud,

which is often the case with a newspaper pun headline. Number four on the list of the top six better puns the Herald could have used for rising beer prices story. Pint me in the direction of a cheap drink. Pint me. Isn't it pint? Pint. Pint me in the direction of a cheap drink.

Yeah. Like point. Yeah. But it's point. I get it, yeah. People would probably just think that was a typo, to be honest. Yeah, yeah. Number three on the list of the top six better puns a hero could have used

for a rising bear price story. Why money will be flying stout of your wallet this summer? Oh. So far, the herald headline's looking pretty good, eh? Yeah, it's a good one. I think,

why money will be flying stout of your wallet this summer? Stout is a type of bear, and it sounds like out, you see. That's why I've done that one, you see. Yeah, right. Top six better puns the hero could have used for roasting beer prices. I'll be having a lemonade then, I suppose.

That's just a statement. Yeah, but why is he making such a brash statement? Click. Read. Number one on the list of the top six better puns a hero could have used for the rising beer prices story. A price increase you can't bear to hear. Oh, but beer, B-E-N-E. Yeah.

And it rhymes. Because it's all alcohol. You could have used other alcohols. Yeah, well, I didn't know that because I didn't read the story, did I? I just saw the headline. Like rising alcohol prices, not your pals. No, I'm not giving pals a paid buddy sponsor. This was a brand specific.

Right. What about alcohol prices to Rosé? Yeah. That's good. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. I'm out good one. That's a good one. I'm out.

Those are my only two. Something about lifting spirits. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lifting your spirits. Price rise won't lift your spirits. Yeah. That's good. Yeah.

I mean, look, why are they asking us? I think you've just shown why. Got this story, mate. Needs a zippy headline. Be like, yeah, all right. It's going to think you've just showed why. Got this story, mate. Needs a zippy headline. Be like, yeah, all right. It's going to cost you a couple hundred bucks. A couple hundred bucks per headline. That's a good side hustle.

Done. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Out of the three of us, Vaughn is the only one with a sister. Correct. And science has now said having sisters makes you a better person. So your brother is a better person than you? Oh.

Because I made him a better person. Yeah. Because I'm already a really good person. But you made him a better person by being a bad person? What about having a sister makes you a better person? So, and this is what is different, like why brothers don't necessarily do it for you is because women open up channels of communication and it becomes a much more expressive situation

and that is positive because emotional expression is fundamental to good psychological health and having sisters promotes this in families. So they'll teach you communication skills. I thought it just taught us to deal with women a bit. They make you more compassionate because maybe they're a bit more emotionally out there.

Right. You look at your dad and your dad gives you that little shake of the head and you're like, you know it's not worth it. A sister also gives you a mental health boost, apparently. How? At least I'm not crazy like her Sisters play a role in promoting positive mental health And later in life they often do more

To keep families in contact with one another After their parents pass Are these ringing true for you and your Sister? A sister helps you and your sister? No. A sister helps you sharpen your interpersonal skills. So it's all about relationships and emotional connection and mental health. Right.

I mean, there's no story about how you've made your sister's life better. Right. You've probably made it worse. Probably. That's probably a vehicle. Okay, so sisters. I'm just trying to think. What were you like growing up with her?

Were you close? Did you play together? I was closer with her than my brother was. Because you two were always competing. Well, no, no. I mean than he was with her. Oh, right. Yeah.

I was the middle child, but I probably got on better with them than they got on with each other. But didn't you nearly javelin her with a standard? Yeah, I still, I didn't. So you nearly killed her. My brother threw that. Oh, okay, so your brother nearly killed her. Yeah. Yeah, I just remember fighting, like physically fighting

a lot with my brother. Right. We didn't, no, we didn't have too many physical stashes with our sister. That was not to be done. Oh, yeah. We beat the hell out of each other. Put it through a toilet door. But very rarely, yeah, no, it never got physical.

Whereas it sounds like in your house it was WWE with your brother. And my mum, I can't remember if it was mum or my brother, put a hole through the wall when they were fighting. I can't remember if it was mum and mum. Was it like proper fighting or play fighting put a hole through the wall when they were fighting. I can't remember if it was mum's bum. Was it like proper fighting or play fighting? Huge hole. Like, no, no, no, play fighting. Someone threw someone on the bed and their bum went through the wall.

A huge hole. Sounds like your studs should have been closer together. Yeah. It sounds like a terrible. It does sound like if Jim was doing a fair bit of the support work there. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier.

NZ Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day.

Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Season 10. Well, it's all thanks to Neon. Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. $50,000 is the jackpot now. Matt and Kylie join us.

Good morning, Matt and Kylie. Whoa. Hey. This is pretty cute. Are you guys guessing together so that you have to split it 50-50? We're actually as the whole family, our three kids even the cat is here.

Oh, wow. What's the cat's name? Shadow. That's a cute name for a cat. It's a black cat, isn't it? It is a black cat, yes. I see what you did there. Alright, well the whole family is gunning, even the cat, for the it? It is a black cat, yes. I see what you did there. Very popular. All right, well, the whole family is gunning,

even the cat, for the $50,000 cash. And we'll give that to you if you can correctly identify this secret sound. So what do you think it is? We think it is the trigger on an Xbox controller. Ooh, have we had that on a PlayStation controller? Yes, we have. So, yeah. The Xbox controller is in the background of the TikTok video,

not a PlayStation controller. Okay. And up close, that would sound like it pressing, wouldn't it? Yeah. Well, you kind of like can flick it if you're firing something or, yeah, it's kind of springy. Are you guys gamers yourself? Yes. Yeah.

We have been in lockdown. Have been in lockdown, for sure. So Level 3 made me could be like levelling up. Yes. I've kind of gone through all the clues and made reasons for them. Nice. And $50,000, I keep saying it is a life-changing amount of money

because it is. It's just ridiculous. What would you do with the $50,000? As I was saying before, it sounds really silly, a new couch. Obviously, in lockdown, we've had to sort of chill at home a lot. So, like, a new couch would Obviously in lockdown we've had to sort of chill at home a lot. So like a new couch would be our starting point and then we have bills for the children

and just maybe once we're actually getting out of lockdown, going somewhere really nice in New Zealand for now. Nice. I like that answer and I like how you have a cat. Hi Shadow. Well, look Matt and Kylie,

we're saying pulling a trigger on an Xbox, not a PlayStation controller, but an Xbox. And that is not the secret sound, guys. Oh! Oh! Back to the drawing board, guys.

We've got another chance. 8 a.m. this morning. If you think you know what the secret sound is, get through then. It's simple. Just tell us what it is. Yeah, it's real simple. Win the cash. Why don't you guys just do it?

Yeah, come on. Hurry up. Do it. She said it was simple. Hurry up. Next on the show, something has got Vaughn and I quite riled up. Megan, on the other hand, she's one of these people. The average person's unread notifications.

Yeah, so someone's worked... Why does anybody have any read bubbles? Somebody's worked out the average amount of unread texts. Like, even that being a thing is unbelievable to me. Don't let bubbles stress you out, man. And the average unread email bubble amount that the average person has, we'll tell you what that is next. It is disgusting.

Well, some research has been done, and it has worked out that the average American has 47, 47 unread text messages. So they've got a red bubble on their phone with the notification 47. And they have an average 1,602 unread emails. Whoa. Okay, I'm not that bad. Now, Vaughn and I, we're the same boat, right? We...

100% clear the notifications. Even if you're not going to read it, go into emails and say, mark all as read. It's very organized for someone who's somewhat of a hoarder. Well, I hoard them. I've never deleted an email in my personal. They're all in there, but they're not unread. Right. They've all got their place, and that is in the red bin.

Because that's what I like about our work email is when you go into the deleted items, you just go, mark all as unread, as read rather. So there's no bubbles. There's no notifications. I don't have that many. I've only got five unread emails and 25 Facebook notifications at the moment. But I'm not in any hurry. 25 Facebook notifications?

What are they? I don't know. Mark them as read then. It's just a whole lot of rubbish. When are you going to sit down and dedicate 25 minutes to clicking on every notification? Just mark them as red. This is that thing. Like, Jared just came in and was like, did you see my DM?

I'm like, ah, nope. And like, someone's like, I invited you to something on Facebook or this or that. I'm like, I don't know, man. I just don't keep up with the notifications. You don't even read our group chat messages. You're like, why didn't you tell me that, Goss? And we're like, it was literally in the group chat yesterday. So I have to scroll through and skim read.

It drives me nuts that on my computer, this laptop, this is an older laptop, and you told me not to upgrade it to the new software because there was people saying, our year computer gets bricked. Oh, yeah. I think it's fine now, though. They're on to a new one. Oh, is that okay? Yeah, I think so.

Oh, my God. Because I got this little red bubble on the cog wheel saying that there's an update available. And I have to keep going in and be like, no. Well, no, because I've updated and it's fine. It just crashes every couple of days. Look, I've got this lovely mountain in the background now because they upgraded.

I don't even think my one tells me there's an upgrade. It's like, she's not going to do it. Apple's like, look, look, don't bother. But even when I get the upgrade bubble, I'm like, quick, do it. I can't have a single bubble in my notifications on my phone screen at all. Whereas producer Jared, on the other hand,

is a monster. He's more of a monster than you, Megan. How many unread email notifications do you have? On my Gmail, I've got 6,155. Just mark them as read. Can you go in or turn off the bubble? You can go into your settings on your phone and go notifications app, turn off the bubble.

Is that mostly junk? Is that mostly like websites and stuff? You've been signing up to some sites, haven't you, young man? Haven't you? Young man. I've got two email addresses and one's like all the spam emails and the others. Well, turn off the notifications for me then. Nah, because the odd email is important.

What about texts? What about texts and messages? Wait. The odd email is important so What about text? What about text and messages? Wait, the odd email is important, so you will see it and you'll be like, oh yeah, I need that one. But otherwise you'll be like, oh, this could be an important one. Oh, I see it, but I won't click on it to mark it red.

Yeah. Yeah, I can't deal with that. But on Gmail, you can't go select all. You can only do select by page. And then it does a page. Yeah, yeah. I've got like a thousand pages. I'll start deal with that. But on Gmail, you can't go select all. You can only do select by page. And then it does a page. Yeah, yeah. I'll start a new email. Yeah, there's too big a hill to climb now.

6,000. I think you can sign up to things and unenroll, unsubscribe from emails too. Yeah. But then you're giving your third party a bit of an email password. It's just effort. Yeah. Give it to Fletch. He'll do it

I couldn't stand it You'd have to clear them all I'd start a new email address, that's what I'd do I've got the perfect email address though Well then, take care of it Respect the email address And we'll give it to someone who will That's what if I was in charge of Gmail

You'd get your emails like that Well we want to take some calls this morning and talk to these monsters, these people like Megan and Jared who have... Who just chill and don't care about little round circles on your phone. How many unread messages, chats or emails do you have? Can you beat 6,000 or 45 is the average unread messages it's text messages that aren't read oh my mind those are important what are they okay well i'll wait 100 dials at him we want to hear from you this morning if you're one of these people that just leaves you

red bubbles everywhere all over your phone the average person Unread notification bubbles. Yeah. Fletch, you don't check the text machine here in the studio. Is it a horrible experience at the moment? It's stressful at the moment. Because you and I, we are bubble clearers. We're notification clearers. Big bubble clearers. You cannot go to sleep or leave your phone on sleep mode.

It's hard being that highly strung. It's not highly strung though, is it? It's just red circles. Normalise the red circles. I've got apps that live on the second page because it annoys me having to go on them. LinkedIn's a shocker. Yeah, right. Because there's little red bubbles all the time.

Yeah, so it's on the second page so I don't have to see it. But every time I accidentally go to the second page to get something, I have to go in there and clear them. Clear the bubbles. Because the other thing you can do is turn off notifications for that app because that makes your life easier as well because you're not annoyed by them. But the average American has 47 unread text messages and 1,602 unread email notifications.

We want to talk this morning to these monsters. These people like Megan, yourself, who leave notifications on their phone. Tim, good morning. How many do you have? Currently, emails, I have 27,678. Is that all the emails you've received since you've had that email address? Yeah, so basically about, would have been about five, ten years ago, I had a friend that used to hate the email notifications, same as you guys.

Yeah. And the only reason I unread them was just to annoy her, so it's been going on for quite a while now. Oh, right, so you're just winding her up. Is there ever even moments in your life, Tim, where someone's like, oh, I have emailed you about that? You've missed a payment. Not really, I'm pretty on to it. It's missed a payment. Not really. I'm pretty onto it.

It's mainly just advertising and stuff. But I read the important ones. I've gotten to the point even now where it's not even having them unread. I unsubscribe. Same. At the top it says, this comes from a mailing list. Would you like to unsubscribe? I'm like, yes, I would.

And I unsubscribe. I just don't know what he wants. And also, was this friend, was it flirting? You were like, oh, look how many unread emails I've got. No, it was just, I don't know, she just told me to press unread,

but I just didn't want her, so I just left her. I shan't be told what to do. I love it. Tim, thank you. Let's go to Adeeb. Adeeb, how many unread emails do you have? Hello? Hello? Hello. Oh, sorry.

I didn't hear you guys. No, you're right. How many unread emails do you have? I have 46,160. Oh. Is it the same for text messages or, like, messenger notifications? Do you clear those? Yeah, I'm pretty on to my text and messenger ones.

It's just the emails. I've lost track of it. I'm at that point when I don't want to go back and I'm too occupied with stuff. Yeah, you've just given up on those. Yeah. I think this is a similar thread, isn't it? Adeeb, thanks for your call. Alana, same for you.

How many emails unread? I can type a lot of years. I have 46,844 unread emails. And is it the same story? You've just given up because there's so much spam in there? Yeah, it was just too much. I mean, I only check them when it's, you know, delivery is on its way.

How do you know that there's, if you miss that little drop-down bar, how do you know that one of those emails is in there? Because I check constantly and I'll just type in

whatever it is. See, you check constantly. So you could be clearing constantly. You could be marking all as read. Yeah, but that's a lot now. That's a lot.

Now it seems like a fun game to see how many you can get. Like, hit 100K, baby. Yeah, we'll go for that. Okay, here's some numbers. Here's some numbers to chase. Okay, Alana, thank you. Alana with your 46,000. In my main email, I have 82,920.

Unread. Wow. And in my have 82,920 unread. Wow. And in my other 90,000. Wow. What are you signing up for? I started dating someone who's a bit OCD and this annoys him so much. He's not OCD, he just likes a little bit of order. Yeah. He'd like you to have some order in your life and not be so chaotic.

I just checked my emails. I have 250,678 unread emails. Are you? Okay. It's a thing, right? If you've got lots of emails, you're taking up cloud space. Yeah. So you're actually ruining.

Oh, that's not good for the environment. You're polluting the environment. Yeah, you're polluting the environment. So do it. Yeah. Do it for the long-tailed bat. Yes. I mean, it already won bird of the year when it was a bat. Yeah. Question mark. But do it for the long-tailed bat yes i mean it already won bird of the year when it was a bat

yeah question mark but do it for the environment yeah delete these emails because they are they're sitting on a cloud i'm a nurse so to me that's an automatic pass card nurses can do no wrong at the moment yeah unless they're killing old people and making it look like mistakes like somebody else's mistakes i won't forgive that from a nurse. Don't put that on nurses at the moment. No, there might be a bad, you know, bad apple. Like Dr. Harold Shipman. Because you were listening to that podcast. I have.

I've got a little bit of a listen. Interesting. Very fascinating. I'm a nurse. I have 27 unread text messages, which are bulk texts in a text group to ask for shifts to be covered. You don't read them because then it means you've seen them. Yeah, right.

Okay, that's a classic. Yeah, right. That's right. Someone said, my partner's one of those people. Once when he was in the shower, I went on his phone, but it wasn't to snoop to see who he's been messaging. It was going through as quickly as I could and selecting them all as red. Oh, it felt so good.

He got pretty angry at me, but it was worth it. It's almost the same satisfaction as like pimple popping, right? Yeah, yeah. It's up there. You're popping the red bubble pimple. I've just checked mine. 60 unread texts. Texts?

No. And 15 red bubbles on the phone calls. What are you, dead? You're not seeing who just called you? I can't deal with that. They won't know that you've seen it and not done anything about it. Who has called you? Some episode monsters out there.

Someone said, I'm the complete opposite. Not only do I read an email, I also file it. There's a folder for every type of email. Or even your special offers. Maybe. Okay. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The pandemic's causing a massive spike in long-term relationships ending

and divorce rates are going up a smidge because people can't be with that person any longer. No. And so a study was done by, this is psychologists from Lancaster University, almost 200,000 people were involved in this. Oh, okay. So they did, yeah, big data analysis of relationship problems. They have found then when people break up, men are more affected by heartbreak. So men discussed feeling sad and upset significantly more than women. So they said this is obviously contradictory to what people would assume, but maybe it's down to the fact that women seek therapy

and talk about their emotions in an in-person environment, so talk to their friends more than men would. Whereas we'd just bottle it up. Yeah. So men are more likely to ask for help and express their feelings in an anonymous setting, but wouldn't go to their mates. Because girls, you all rally together and go out, eat ice cream, drink wine. It's like when we get the man flu.

We get it quite bad, don't we? Oh, very bad. We're very sensitive bands. We get heartbreak worse. Yeah. We've been trying to tell you for a quite bad don't we we're very sensitive yeah we've been trying to tell you for a while haven't we well that's why women have babies because you just wouldn't cope with no no have you seen when we get the flu how would a baby come out of the penis very painfully i reckon i reckon it would

you know it would dilate That's what labour's for. I'd go for a caesarean, I think. I don't know if I'd want to mess that up. Any more than it already is. That makes total sense, though. I feel like you would go to your mates. Yeah, totally would. Like, don't want to jinx it or anything, but if you do have sons.

When you're not strong, I'll be your friend. Yeah, would you like go and hang out and like, I don't know, what do guys do? Like drink beers and... I think Vaughan would go through a bit of whiskey.

Aye wee. I'd go bush. Yeah. But that's the very stereotypical thing, isn't it? For guys to bottle up their feelings. Yeah. But the fact that they feel like

they experience heartbreak more. Talk to your friends. Talk to someone. If you need to talk to someone, like they say, in an anonymous setting or whatever, do that too. Just whatever you need to

get through. What do you mean? Like therapy. Oh, right, right. Oh, I think you're meaning Tinder. See, okay, we all took this differently because I thought you meant like in one of those Catholic confession boxes. Yes. That's your upbringing. Forget me, Father, I've had

an up, I've had an, I've had a breakup. Breakup, yeah. Oh. I don't know how many Hail Marys to give you a little bit confused at the moment. But, you know, you can do that. Do they have like a chart for how many Hail Marys for each thing? There's a conversion chart, yeah, for how many sins equal how many Hail Marys. But you might not have done anything wrong.

And if you get to a certain amount of sins, is it capped? Like, okay, too many Hail Marys. That's when they move you off to another church. Yeah. Oh, okay. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Yesterday, Sade said, oh, something's caught up at the airport. If you've just sort of listened to the show, Sade is my wife.

Yes, she is, Vaughn. Sade is my wife. Thank you, Fletch. Yes, Megan. You were both present at the nuptials where a woman called Sade became my wife. So she's my wife. Yeah.

For long-time listeners of the show, you'll be familiar with her. She's my wife. Yeah. And she is not old. She's three years younger than I. Yeah. And she said something's got up at the airport.

And I said, what are you talking about? And she said, well, I've just got this text message saying we've got a package held at the airport. Oh, my God. And I was like, and I couldn't even see it at the stage. This was from a distance that I was talking to my wife. And I said, what are you talking about? Let me see that. Wait a second. wait a second.

Yeah, don't fill anything out. And she came over and she looked sheepish. And she showed me the text message. I was like, that is the scammiest thing I've ever seen in my life. You didn't fill anything out, did you? She's like, no, no, no, no. I was like, you didn't click on. I think even clicking the link.

Clicking the link, did you? And she's like, I clicked the link. Oh, you don't click the link. No, you never click the link. And the link's address didn't even look like any, it wasn't like nzcustoms.co.nz or nzpost or anything. It was like K-U-K-U-I-I. That could be like a tracking thing.

That's someone that's been doing the rounds in the last month. I know. But the problem with those is when you're waiting for packages. I know. It's, you don't, and you just don't think sometimes. You're like, oh, that must be my package. And then, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Especially for Aucklanders currently, because that's like how we're getting everything.

Yeah. So, you've got a backlog of things you might be expecting. So, you're like, oh, okay, yeah, you don't think about it. Yeah, but that's what they play on. But you've got to think twice don't you before clicking on the links. God, you've got a boomer on your hands here. I know, I've got a real boomer on my hands. Gee, she's vulnerable. She's usually smarter than that. The good news

is that I think she's won one of $1,000 Mitre 10 gift cards. Oh, amazing. Because she shared it. Yeah, great. So if you guys want to share her status, I think you get one as well. Right. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

We have a chat with the Prime Minister every now and then, and that then and now is now. Great English. I'm a professional. I get paid to do this, so... Good morning, Prime Minister. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

You know what? You're in Auckland. You can do what you like and make as many mistakes on air as you like. Okay. We're, yeah, flanguishing a little bit, but that's okay. How are you? Because I wouldn't want your job if they gave me all the money. Oh, no.

Oh, look, trucking on, tracking on, tracking on. Yes. Isn't this weird time now where there's, like, all this frustration bubbling over, and given that people aren't allowed to, like, find out who are the rule breakers personally and pop round to their house and give them a what's for. But people are venting their frustration at people like yourself.

And, you know, I totally understand that and I totally accept that. So if someone needs to be at the receiving end of that, I am happy for it to be me. It's part of the job. That's not a fun way to go about your day. You know, I said to someone the other day, gosh, you know, it would be good if there was a political party called COVID and everyone, we could all just be angry at that.

Yeah. But, you know, I do know as well that this is just a really, this is a really hard patch that we're in at the moment. We're in a transition phase and it's brutal, particularly for people in Auckland. But on the other side of that transition is much more certainty and we are very, very close to that. I think this week we should hit 90% first doses

for all of the DHBs in Auckland. And that means within three weeks, it's possible to hit those second doses. And then everything opens again. And yes, we'll use vaccine certificates. And yes, you know, there'll be some gathering limits, but it will be completely different to what people are experiencing now. And that is not that far away.

So when you are looking at the vaccine numbers all over the country, does this mean when we do hit the end of November and then we're getting close to Christmas, what if there are places like Northland that are still quite low? Are we going to be able to travel to Northland or other parts of the country? Or can we only go to 90% places?

No, that's not how it's intended to work. We're in an unusual patch at the moment. So Auckland, we're treating separately from everyone else because two reasons. You've been in restrictions for so long. Your vaccine rates are much higher and also you've got a hard border. And so that means that we can just do things differently for you. You can have fewer restrictions, even though there are cases because of all of those things. But that hard border is helping give the rest of the country time to get vaccinated. We do still want Aucklanders to be able to move around though, particularly over summer and

Christmas. So what we're looking at is for now, how do we keep in that hard border but put some checks around it so that more people can move, but we might say use testing or vaccination status to allow people to move around a bit more. That's a big, big, big thing for us to try and overcome in a short space of time. But we're working very hard on that so that Aucklanders will be able to move over summer. Right. So that's because that was going to be my next question. Many, many people who live in Auckland aren't originally from Auckland and have family. You want to get back to Moran for Christmas, I totally understand.

It sounds like a joke, but like you wouldn't believe. No. I totally understand. And this is why, you know, and this is, as I say, this is why we're working on a way that we can allow Aucklanders to move. Now, this border that you've got there, that is not forever. The new, what everyone's calling the traffic light system, it's not designed to have hard borders in it.

So those borders won't exist forever, but they're doing a job for us now while the rest of the country is being vaccinated. So we'll keep using it for now, but we do want to find a way to allow people to move around. What would it take? What's it going to take for Aucklanders to be able to go to the Waikato

or like Fletch to New Plymouth or Megan to Nelson. That is just going to be our ability to set up a system at a land border. We're not used to using land boundaries in that way. We don't have checks. We're not like Australia that has checks through different states or of course, you know, the border between the Canada and the US where they're checking papers when you move through. We don't have any of that. We're having to establish our own systems at the borders. And so how do we do that when you have up to 30,000 cars moving at a time? So that's what we're working on.

So it's actually not about the overall vaccination status of the rest of the country. That's not what it's dependent on. It's our ability to set up a system that allows people to move safely. What's that system looking like? You say you're not exactly sure, but, I mean, Christmas is creeping. Yeah, no, we've been working on it for a little while now. So we know, of course, at airports it's different.

Airports, it's a bit easier to set up systems like that because, you know, just the scale is different. But as I say, 30,000 people trying to move around by car is a different question. So what, like double vaxxed in a negative test or double vaxxed? Yep, so we're looking at how, if you were adding on a testing regime, how you would manage that number

and that scale of people being tested. But also, yes, using vaccine certificates as part of that. So while we're still working on it, if anyone wants to make sure that they're able to leave over the summer, it's another reason to get vaccinated. Right. 100%. Now, are you planning on coming back to Auckland? A lot of people have been asking, haven't they?

They have been asking. And look, the only reason I haven't come home, because Auckland is my home today, is because there's been a rule in Parliament that you can't come into Parliament if you've been to Auckland without isolating or being away from Parliament for five days. Yep. So I imagine I would have got a bit of a hard time if I went and then didn't come back here. So now that, just as of yesterday, that rule has changed to a test rule now. So that now enables me to come back up.

So we're working on a visit soon. Are you worried that you'll get home and Clark's moved your house? On a truck? You're such a bitch. Whatever is in my fridge has physically moved itself as well. Yes. Do you feel like, just personally, I see this and I'm just like, good God. But do you feel like some people in the media, not naming names,

and some political adversaries love this setting people up for a lose-lose situation? Like when you couldn't get back to Auckland, why hasn't she been back to Auckland? Well, the rule said that if she came back to Auckland, she couldn't get back to Wellington. Why hasn't she been back to Auckland? Well, the rule said that if she came back to Auckland she couldn't get back to Wellington. I also wouldn't want the Prime Minister to get COVID right now. Probably not. Yeah. Yeah, it just

feels like there's some people that thrive in putting people in lose lose situations. Yeah, I mean, I think politics is full of if you do damned, if you don't situations. It's just, yeah, and often in a job like this as well. So, yeah, you learn to take it on the chin and you learn the things that you really need to just stress over.

And then there are those things that you just, you know, you're not going to be able to make people happy, you've just got to do the best you can so I don't know if you ever get used to it but yeah. Are you ever like Judith, if you think you can do better, here have a week have a go Yeah

you know, there's sometimes just generally I get a little internal monologue that you do sometimes think you know, there's just no and just generally, I get a little internal monologue. You do sometimes think, you know, there's just no easy answers right now. And that's why I think it's best just to say to people, if this feels hard, it's because it really is right now for everyone. This is a really, really rough spot that we're all in. But it is going to get better. It absolutely is.

And so I know, you know, if you're in Auckland, you've been in a tough spot for a long time and hearing me say that, you know, probably doesn't mean too much, but I can absolutely tell you that it is going to get better. That point is not that far away now, so please just hang in there. Okay.

Yep. Awesome. Well, thanks for your time this morning. Good luck. Yeah, thank you. And. Well, thanks for your time this morning. Good luck. And hope Clark hasn't moved your house. I feel like the police would have told me,

Mom, your house is on a truck and trailer. Yeah. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Season 10. All thanks to Neon. Get a Kiwi streaming service. Get great value. Get it on Neon.

This is the sound that could win you $50,000 cash. Gabriel joins us. Good morning. Gabriellle are you ready to win some cash? Yes, yes I am You've just got to tell us what that sound is Is it the play stop

button on a cassette recorder? The play stop button Oh yeah, that's clunky Those were clunky. Yeah, they were clunky. You know those handheld ones? Yeah.

Gabrielle? Yes? Have you seen the TikTok clue where the sound is actually in the video? Have you seen that? Yeah. So you've got the Cluedo box and below it's a magazine and there's a square in between the magazine pages. Oh, okay. Right.

So you did see it. Yep. You think it's hidden very well, right? Yeah. Okay. I like that. And how confident are you with this guess? I'm just imagining she was more confident before you pretty much said that there's not

a cassette player in the video. No. I haven't said that yet. You were like, where? Very well hidden. Hey, I'll tell you soon, Gabrielle. I just want to know how confident you are. Like, I was 100.

It's fading, isn't it, Gabrielle? It's at 40 now, isn't it? It's at 40 now. It's dropping like a stone, isn't it? She's fading. It's dropping slowly down as this conversation goes. Imagine if we could boost it back up, though. How great is it going to feel?

We've dragged you down to boost you up. Yeah, well, that's fun. No, last question, 50K. What would you do with it? Have confidence, Gabrielle. What would you do with it? I'd buy a car. My car broke down at the start of COVID,

so we've been kind of stuck. Oh no. Yep, fair enough. You in Auckland then? Yeah, and then probably get my daughter a few things. Get my puppy a cute jacket. Pay off the debt. Cute puppy jacket. Okay.

I like that. I want you to win now. Yeah. Alright. Well, Gabrielle, we're locking in your guess of a cassette recorder, the play stop button. Yeah, that is not the secret sound, Gabrielle. Oh, Gabrielle. All right, back to the drawing board. Georgia with another chance at 11, and we can tell you that there is tomorrow,

if it's not one today, tomorrow there will be a secret sound blitz every hour. A chance for you to guess if it doesn't go today. But yeah, Georgia at 11 with your next shot. ZDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan. Look, I'm a bit of a softie. Doesn't take much to get the old misters

going. Yeah, you do. You get quite emotional at any kind of assembly that you go to at your daughter's school. Oh, my God, yeah. Assemblies always get me. They just win an award and you're like in a puddle on the floor. Well, this got me. This ad, you've probably seen it.

And following a little bit of a trend at the moment, ads have zero to do with the people they're advertising. I'm looking at you Westpac and that big where the wild things are possibly copyright rip off thing that carries the girls boat through the... What's that got to do with a band? But what's the message? Come together or be or something like that. Also with that

girls family out looking for her with search and rescue. Yeah where's your child? All this time she's in the forest building a stupid thing, boat flying thing with the... Having an absolute mental breakdown and imagining a creature. She's having a psychotic episode wandering around the forest, building what I also think is a treehouse that's far too high

off the ground for any local council to turn a blind eye to. Yeah, there's no way that's getting resource consent. So, oh, God, no, she wouldn't even bother filling out the application. Also, I hope she's had her tetanus shot, all that rusty tin. Oh, I know. So many issues. And a rabies shot. God knows where that monster's been and what it's dragging around.

But the ad that gets me going is the Trust Power ad. I saw this the other night. It was on during the news. You're going to have to explain it. Okay, so first time I saw it, it starts with an old man at his wife's grave. It says that she died in 2019.

He's taking her some flowers and then he's driving home. All I noticed in that scene was they'd glued on really terribly that woman's picture on the gravestone. I was like, oh, they've printed that out on a colour printer and just popped that on.

That's what you noticed. Yeah, I did. Right. Well, you're saying that that was poor ad quality or it's an actual gravestone. Poor prop quality. Poor prop quality. I mean, it might have been an actual gravestone.

I don't know. They just popped a little finger. So he's there and on the way home, he sees a sign for an animal shelter and he pulls in. And as he arrives, this dog gives him the up and down and this dog's like oh over here except he's drawn to the two cute puppies. One of them

is like a tan coloured border collie puppy which I don't think would be a rescue centre. I don't think any of those dogs would be. Far too cute. So then this other dog he's like yeah I'll take that one. He's made the best choice with the cutest puppy. But then he turns around and the dogs stand up.

And it's at this stage, you realize the dog that was on the ground looking at him, like with a, he's only got three legs. I know, and he's real cute. He's a naputee and he's real cute. And it's at that stage, the first time I watched it, I was almost like that Leonardo DiCaprio meme from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood where he's pointing at the TV.

Because I was like, the old man's got a fake leg! Because I could just see the tiny bit by his lower leg. You need the spoiler. The plot twist isn't what's going to destroy you. And then, so he's like, oh, hold on, actually. Not the puppy. I want this older dog that's missing a leg. And then he's down at the beach and he's walking in shorts

and that's where you get the full look at the leg, the robot leg, and the dog on three legs. And then they're like happily playing on the sand. And I don't know what it is, but. It got you. It got the first time I was like, what is this ad for? It felt like one of those Christmas ads for a big UK department store. And that's when I messaged the group being like,

avoid the Trust Power ad. It was too late for Carwen at the social media desk. This got you, didn't it? We were watching maths yesterday and the ad came on and I went from loving the drama to bawling my eyes out for 10 whole minutes. Was it when you saw his fake leg? You were just like, oh my god.

Happy tears though? No. Why sad tears? I was sad. I was like this poor man only has one leg, so does the dog. His wife's dead. No, it's supposed to be happy and a firm companionship. I meant to be together. I cried the emotional tears. happy and the firm companionship. I cried heavy tears. I cried the emotional tears.

I wasn't sad for him. I was like, he's smiling again. Was it enough for you to sign up with Trust Power and switch your power provider? No, I was like, why would they make me sad like this? Why are you doing this to me, Trust Power? That's what I get. Right, okay. I get angry at them.

And what's it got to do with the power? It says meant to be together, as in like powers bringing people together. Power, gas and internet. I'm sorry, but those three things being lumped together aren't going to bring tears to my eyes, like the man with one leg and the dog with three. Is it going to be more likely to make you change power companies? It makes you think about it and you might be like, if you're moving, oh, life admin.

It's the biggest admin ever. You're taking three of your most pain in the arse admins, changing your internet provider, changing your power company, changing your gas provider. Yeah. It'd be better to do an ad being like, whatever you pay now, we'll do it cheaper. And I'd be like, okay.

Or I'll give you a free dog with three legs. Sure. I'd be like, that's what my daughter said. Are you crying because it reminds you of owl dog. And I was like, no. I don't know why, but at the same time, are amputee dogs more likely to have ongoing vet costs? Has he burdened himself on the superannuation

to be paying a large percentage of it? He's going to have to reverse mortgage his house. I mean, I don't think they expected you to think too much into it. Oh, everything needs a deep dive. But that's one of those ads that gets you going. It's a rare beast,

the old ad that'll make you cry. But I want to know what other ads make you emotional this morning. Right, okay. On 500 Bells at M

or 9696. What other ads get you going? Are there even that? You talk about ads over time. There's ads over the years that have done this to you. There's another one

on at the moment and I can't for some reason this Trust Power one is completely blocked out by emotional receptors for advertising. There's another one around at the moment

that when I watched it I was like, oh my God. And it got me in the heart. Is it the Westpac one? Is it the one with the dairy owner gives that little girl a free block of chocolate for buttons? Oh, that's so sweet.

I'm like, that is so stupid. No one is doing that. Unless it's an expired block. How are you going to tell the little girl that she can't buy her mum a block of chocolate or whoever it is? Because she had buttons. I don't know. Go and get money like everyone else. Yeah.

That's legal tender, not buttons. Or the dairy owner's... He's going to be like, what the hell is this? Go and get some money. Yeah, dairy owner's not paying his suppliers Cadbury and Buttons or paying the rent with Buttons. Take mum in, get her to cause a distraction and shoplift the chocolate. Like the rest of us do.

That's terrible. All right, well, 0800DARZATM, give us a text, 9696. What ad has made you cry and set you off? Give us a call. Talking about the ads, the TV ads that have set you off. Or maybe you get them online when you're streaming something. Yeah, this new Trust Power ad with the old man that's an amputee. And the three-legged dog.

And the three-legged dog that's also... It's got you twice, hasn't it? Twice, yeah. I've only seen it twice and it got me twice. Because the other time I did see the start of it, I was like, quick, change the channel. And I changed the channel. Yeah, yeah. I've only seen it twice and it got me twice. Because the other time I did see the start of it, I was like, quick, change the channel, and I changed the channel. Yeah, right. I was in the mood to be emotionally blackmailed by a power company.

Fair enough. So we want to know from you what ads have set you off. Yeah. There's a few that are very popular. Okay. We get a lot of messages about. Okay, well, Mitchell, what's the one that got you? Morning.

So I had an ad that was on and I watched it and I thought, that is so cute. I've got to show my wife. Now, in hindsight, that was foolish because she was pregnant at the time and quite emotional. But I put it on anyway. And basically, there's this old man

and he's looking quite frail. And for whatever reason, he keeps going into the garden shed and picking up kettlebells. And he just keeps picking them up. And he's getting a bigger and bigger kettlebell as the seasons go past. And you're sort of wondering, what's he doing? And then you think it's going to be a supplement or something like that. And basically the final scene, he's dressed in a suit and he goes around to his granddaughter's place

and then he bends over and picks her up so that she can put the star on the Christmas tree. Yeah. I remember that. I remember that. He was a ruining.

Yeah. Well, they gave me goosebumps. And my wife just broke down. Were you in trouble for doing that? Sort of, sort of.

Then what he hadn't allowed for, because kettlebells don't wiggle, so she's at a wiggling, he lost his balance, and they both fell onto the tree. He's saying he should have done some abdominal exercises for stabilising. Mitchell, thanks for your call. Fiona, what ad gets you? Oh, every time the AMC, oh gosh, I'm getting emotional thinking. Oh no!

Don't worry Fiona, we'll make some like poor taste joke to cover up the fact that we're all so emotionally stunted. Where the dad supports the kid in his cricket career and is always yelling and shouting, I play for India one day. And then the son gets into the black caps and the dad changes into the black cap shirt. And then he turns around in the car park and he's got the cricket shirt on.

Yeah, that's it. And the son goes, that really suits you, pa. That's suits me. Even though you've seen, because that adds on high rotate. That is on all the time. Does it still get you every time? Every single time to the point where my kids will turn and look at me and just like, oh, mum.

It catches me. That's so good. All right. And so many people messaged in about that one as well. What is that advertising? ANZ. ANZ Bank. They sponsor the cricket.

Yeah, Fiona, thanks for your call. Yeah. But I don't know what aspect of ANZ it's advertising. Just the bank. Just banking. Just the bank. Right. Come and give us your money.

Yeah, okay. Okay, banks, Stop that, please. Somebody said, do you remember that lotto ad where the guy who won the lotto ticket and they were in a security firm and they always buy a lotto ticket together? But it makes it sound like he's robbing the bank, like he's going to steal all the money out of the Trump security van that he works for. It did sound like that. Somebody said the first time I saw that, it made me cry.

I'd say one of the most popular messages is that sea lord swim like a fish ad where the kid's like, why can't I swim? And he's like, eat more fish, which is a lie. Yeah. You can eat all the fish in the world. If you don't practice, you're never going to be able to swim. There's no scientific correlation between swimming and learning to swim at all. There's none at all.

It's like saying eat your crust and your hair will go curly. But do we want curly hair or is that just going to make the next generation of people who are going to buy GHDs avoid crusts, you know, like the plague? Yeah. That's the thing about these emotionally blackmailing ads. Dig a little deeper. Yeah. And you'll find the plot is full of holes.

But he tells his daughter she needs to eat more fish and then she's taking swimming lessons and she's getting out of the pool and it turns dad couldn't swim either yeah and he's there for his swimming lesson

yeah um there was an ad for a boy in class making father's day cards but he only has his mum and it shows all the stuff she does for him

and he makes her a card oh yeah that was so sweet that was a ripper um uh the one that cracks me up is whether Anker or Meadow Fresh or some milk brand. So they're doing a great job of reminding her.

The little boy's like, mum, I've got a shared lunch tomorrow. And she's like, okay, and then proceeds to make a very complicated looking creation for him to take. The reason it makes me upset is my mum never gave that much of a show. She had lunch, she'd get angry for only telling her the night before and then she'd just throw a bag of biscuits at me. I'll admit that ad got me,

but it's only right at the end where he's taking it and he's very nervous about his classmates trying a traditional Indian treat. Oh, okay. And they all love it and he's standing there and he's very nervous about his classmates trying a traditional Indian tree. Oh, okay. And they all love it and he's standing there and he looks really proud. And proud kids make me like... What else have we got?

I need to sniff. Oh my god, you need to sniff. What about that ad where the old man was watching the neighbours struggling and he keeps pretending to be giving things away like, I don't need this fan anymore but he was just going by himself a new fan and he was actually just helping out

and it was for farmers yeah that was a good one someone messaged me and said they got me so good when I was pregnant got me um um the pack and save ad with the little stick man brings tears to my eyes every time because I used to be a pack and save ad with the little stick man brings tears to my eyes every time

because I used to be a pack and save cat operator so it's more of a PTSD it's more of a trigger they need the trigger warning at the start of the ad trigger warning for people who have worked in supermarkets play ZM's Fleshphone and Megan

fact of the day day day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is in 1976, John Phillips was an underachieving student at Princeton. Now, Princeton's a very prestigious college. Oh, yeah, it's ooh-la-la. Very prestigious college. He needed an A-plus on his final report.

So he wrote a term paper on nuclear proliferation, including a design for an atomic bomb that he believed was a simpler yet better design for an atomic bomb that he believed was a simpler yet better design for an atomic bomb. He handed in the paper, he got an A+, and then promptly had his paper and all of his research seized by the FBI. Oh, okay. He said, 21 at the time, I wanted it to be a simple, inexpensive, and easy build for a nuclear bomb.

The idea was not to use any classified information. I wanted to do it with what was available to the public. He just used books from the library and like open research papers on nuclear bombs on nuclear anything. Nuclear energy, nuclear fission, everything. What year was this again? 1976.

Okay. He said he wanted it to be similar in power to the one dropped on Nagasaki which he said I do realise was, you know, 30 years ago. Yep. But, and this bomb's probably not as good. It's about the size of a beach ball and weighed 125 pounds, which is 50 something kgs.

Yeah. High 50 kgs. And immediately handed it in. His professor was like, this is actually genius. But then had to report the paper to the FBI, and the FBI came and confiscated it and seized it. And then did he end up getting a job working for the government? Well, he got an A-plus on that paper,

and in 2016 he was involved in the business of political data mining. He finds out everything he can about individual voters and sells that information to politicians. Huh. Is that a bad thing? Um, yes. Yeah, right. Is it?

No, who you... He's finding out personal information about people and then selling it to people. To politicians so they know how to best cater their... Bribe them. Bribe them. Yeah, sure. What the people who can vote for them in certain states or areas value as

being worth electing. So yeah, he's a data miner now. So yeah, today's fact of the day is a failing Princeton student needed an A plus in his last paper of the year so he designed a better, simpler and easier to build nuclear bomb. paper of the year, so he designed a better, simpler, and easier to build nuclear bomb. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices Hello and welcome to Community Notices A segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand According to local Facebook pages Let's pop to the Kaikoura Notice Board Where Weeronuch Anderson writes Does anybody want to trade Cadbury Chews for anything else in a box of Cadbury favourites? I love them so much.

There are only three in the box. My husband said I'm not allowed another box of favourites until all the rest are finished and I don't want them. Just throw them out when he's not looking. You got a Morrow. It's wasteful because you got a Morrow, you got a Perky Nani, you got the Caramilks,

you got the Buzz Bars, you got the Chocolate Bish. They don't have any trick-or-treaters? They would lap that up. Yeah, all they want is the chews, which looks like a mint chew. Just buy chews then. Just buy chews. But is chews one of those things you can't buy solo?

Oh, I don't know. But if it's the Kiwis edition of Cadbury Favourites, surely you can buy a chew if it's that bloody popular. Buy a big, long chew. That's the worst one in the whole favourites. It's minty. Ew, yuck. The next community notice from the Oratea Notice Board.

Laura says, is anybody missing half a large sausage roll? From somewhere around the Forest Hill Road corner of Kelly's Road, our cat has just come inside with a giant sausage roll. Not sure if he stole it or found it. Apologies if he stole your dinner. He's very proud of his catch. And at the moment, chewing on the sausage roll. Oh, okay.

Oh, this is a name change. The Morrinsville Community Neighborhood Watch page is now known as the Morrinsville Truth Seekers page. Oh, did they go down a dark hole? It looks like it. Feel free to discuss the truth about what's really going on in our world.

Everyone who thinks I'm talking shite can remove themselves. I've had enough of doing anything to help this nasty community. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. So they've gone against the community they were protecting. It's like Batman's gone dark. Yeah. Vigilante were protecting. It's like Batman's gone dark. Yeah. Vigilante.

Yeah. Vigilante's vigilante. It sounds to me like there's a real opportunity there for somebody to think, man, I should start my own community notice board and then immediately regret it when you realise you're an admin. So now you have legal responsibilities. Yeah, for all those comments and posts. And, yep, the hate speech and all of those sorts of things

can fall legally right at your feet. This comes from my very own, and Megan, yours too, Kimi Tolpaki, Whoopi Riverhead Community Info Sharing Group. Category is passive-aggressive mass accusatory cat shaving message. What? Hey, guys, I don't have time to shave my own, let alone yours. I hope you find the culprit, but here's the letter. Stop shaving our cat, please.

Have we got cat shavers in our community? We've got cat shavers. Shaving a portion of the underbelly and the rear end, including part of his tail, is not appropriate and has left him very upset. Were they doing that thing where they shave the cat to make it look like a lion? I don't know.

I think it's when somebody else's cat is pooping in your area or coming in and bothering your cat. They grab it and you shave it, right? And so the people who own it, when they see it, they're like, oh my gosh, and keep it inside. Oh, right. So that it doesn't. But you're talking about animals here. They do what they want. Exactly.

They wander around. But the idea is it doesn't harm the cat, but it makes them look foolish. And then people are worried about who's shaving the cats and they keep the cats inside. Goodness. And then if your cat is like wandering into somebody's place and like pooping up all on their sandpit. Yeah.

They're shaving. Yeah, that's for you for having a sandpit. Can you not write a note and hang it on the collar? Stop with the cat propaganda. Rather than shave the cat. No, people don't take a note seriously anymore. Okay. This one from the Leastons.

I'm not encouraging cat shaving, by the way. It sounded like you were pro cat shaving. I'm just seeing that side of the... Right. I'm playing devil's avocado. Leaston Southbridge, Ellesmere Community page. Aisako writes, Can we stop buying plastic skeletons for halloween plays they're

bad for the environment locally sourced all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly that's good good from them someone said that's a great idea do you know anybody making them locally and somebody else said there's a park with all these like stone things in it and they're all stored there if you want to go and pick one up. Okay, great idea. So that's pretty good stuff. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page that tickles your fancy,

screengab it and send it to ours. And in the meantime, remember, always seek the truth. All right, mate. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. We did some colouring in And now we are going to brag about it We sat inside the lines Here's what was good about that colouring in

We sat inside the lines Thick lines Thick lines Well you had good felts Great colours Good colours I was going to write those felts off Wasn't I?

Because they were Anko brand They came out I said I colour with Faber-Castell Or Be Damned You're a purist I like that though I'm a purist. I like that, though. I'm a purist. Yeah.

Maybe a Stadler. If I'm using pencils, I might use a Stadler. Colouring in pencil. But these Anko felt were actually fine. Bright colours. Those Germans and Europeans certainly have a hold on the felt and pencil market, don't they? Don't they? So we coloured in.

Don't make it sound sexual. And it was actually A really cool thing To colour in It was a piece of art By Chippy Who you may recognise In public art

Yeah I definitely recognise There's so many people Asked where they could Get one of these to colour in I know Like adult colouring in Because it was so

It was great It was just what we needed We got sent some In case we made mistakes But I didn't We didn't So I took them home And the girls were colouring And they shut up I put a little thing Of them colouring on On Instagram And everyone's like Where can mistakes but we didn't. So I took them home and the girls were kind of

in the shutout and I put a little thing of them colouring on on Instagram and everyone's like, where can we get this colouring in? So I mean, if they wanted to make some money

for this charity, they could probably just sell all those black things for colouring in. Probably could, yeah. But there is a chance the reason we did this is for charity.

We don't want to keep going on about doing charity. What was that for? Charity. Who's she? Or is that like a cause? It's a cause. Ronald McDonald House, South Island is the cause.

A fine charity. Our artwork is currently listed on thegoodsell.co.nz. 100% of the profits donated to Ronald McDonald House, South Island. And our one is at $51. Whoa. That's good, isn't it? our one is at $51. Whoa. That's good, isn't it? Yeah. We're beating the Crusaders.

Sorry, the Canterbury rugby team, I should say. We're beating everybody apart from Chippy himself. Yeah. Or herself. Himself. Himself. Who did the artwork. Yeah.

That's $100. Because I've got some other artwork on there. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, a whole heap of stuff. But if you want to support Ronald McDonald House, head along to thegoodsell.co.nz. We'll put a link up on our Instagram story. An apology for the two sets of eyeballs that I coloured in.

I coloured them in before we made the rule that we weren't going to do the eyeballs. We were so, I was livid. Is one of them yellow too? Yeah, jaundice. You made one of the goblins jaundice. You didn't make that rule until after I'd already coloured in a couple of eyes. It was an unspoken rule.

It was unspoken. Vaughn and I had coloured in like 10 little monsters. And not one of their eyes. I just thought you'd left the eyes. So yeah, apologies. But that makes it unique, doesn't it? It does. It does, yeah.

So yeah, if you want to help out for charity, then you can go on about doing your bit for charity. Yeah, yeah, yeah How much do we get out of this? Nothing, it's called a good feeling Vaughn I'm not getting it yet You don't get that tingling feeling? Soon

If it hasn't already kicked in Not yet Do you know what would make me feel good? Money A bit of money A bit of cash That's not how charity works. Where's the cash, Neville?

I know you've got some cash around here somewhere. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.