ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th August 2021

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

Olympic Crying  Top 6: Bill Gates  Lame Injuries  Olympic Update!  Auggie Played a Prank  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab any size McCafe coffee for only $4. Conditions apply. Ah, we just said we're going to put the call through.

Oh, wait, no, that's not happening? Ah, I was just... We're cold calling somebody. We're cold calling somebody to wish them a happy birthday. Hello, Caitlin speaking. Caitlin! Fletch, Warren and Megan, hello. Hello.

I'm at uni. Oh, my God. You're the mature... It sounds very noisy. Mature students never answer their phones during class. What are you doing? What are you guys doing? What do you mean to say happy birthday.

Happy birthday. Oh, thanks, guys. This is for the podcast intro. Oh, why did we put up a no caller ID? That was random for me. Very un-millennial of you. I thought it was someone important. Yeah.

Now, how long have you got to go with study? When will you be a nurse? I finish in November. Wow. Only a few months. Can you believe that? Do you want to tell everybody what happened when I came around to your apartment in Christchurch a month or so ago? What was paused on the TV?

No, that was actually research. That was research. Just so I can learn the male anatomy. That was actually, yeah. That was important research. That was research. Just so I can learn the male anatomy. That was actually, yeah. That was important research for me. Because it was weird because the remote, like the rewind button and the play button were kind of worn down. Right. That's because most of us have never seen one like that, Fletch.

Yeah. It's all for the purpose of research, guys. What's been your favourite aspect of nursing study so far? What have you enjoyed the most? My favourite part of Sex Life, the Netflix show. No. Nursing. I'm going to get cheesy, guys.

It's a bit gross, but I just love the people. It's such a privilege to be a part of someone's journey when they're at their most vulnerable and put a little smile on their face oh like Patch Adams are you Patch Adams do you dress up as a clown I'm Meredith Grey oh no she's a doctor does everyone there know it's your birthday today? Yeah, yeah, there's a few of them that do, yeah Have you lied because they're all like in their 20s and you're like in your late 30s now? Yeah, I'm telling everyone I'm 25 Yeah, good Don't tell anyone any different, okay?

That's a good lie Nice Well, lots of people always ask about you Oh, I miss everyone so much Well, shush, I'm talking We thought we'd call and see how you were on your birthday. Oh, thank you, guys. I love you guys.

Yeah, and for people listening who may sound like Caitlin's got her life sorted out, if you follow her on Instagram, you can still see very much a hot mess. That's me. That's you. Happy birthday. We love you. I'm 31, I'm unemployed and I'm single. Yay.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Megan. Two minutes past six. Morning. Good morning. You all right? I don't know.

Chapel Tunnel. Have you got some tingles in your wrist? I spent too long tickling my wife last night And I've got What do you mean? Well she put her arm out while we were watching the Olympics And she's like can you tickle my arm? I was like yeah and I tickled for ages

And it was just kind of like I was watching the Olympics I wasn't concentrating And then when I stopped I was like I think I've had it at a funny angle And maybe I've carpled myself With tickles Just a light tickle I think I've had it at a funny angle and maybe I've carpooled myself. Oh my God. With tickles.

What? Just a light tickle. A non-sexual tickle, more of a relaxing tickle. You're not allowed to give me shit again. That was yuck. It's tickles. Not as yuck as the stuff you do.

If I had said that, oh, I've just got a sore arm from tickling Andrew all night, you would have been like, bleh. How do you say that? I just said I've just got a sore arm and I was giving her night. You would have been like... Yeah, but how do you say that? I just said I've just got a sore arm. I was giving her a nice tickle. It's how you say it, Megan.

It's like... Okay. Whereas I was just like, look, I was out there on the bloody rugby pitch giving the missus a tickle. I don't know. Nah, it was just the angle. Are you going to have to fill out an ACC form? Tickles.

How did you cause this? How did this accident get caused? Tickles. Tickles. Tickles. And then when I was like, oh, she put out the other arm. I was like, this one needs a turn as well. I was like, no, I've hurt myself doing the other one.

I'm not risking my other arm to tickle your other arm. All right, your chance coming up on the show today at eight o'clock for a free ride, a chance for you to make a good day, a great day with the new movie. Free Guy. Free Guy. Great movie.

And you've just got to have the bill you want paid off. So get through it at eight and your chance to double that as well. Yeah, the top six is coming up. Bill Gates back on the market. The top six things you could say to Bill Gates to get him

right. Interested. It's his divorce. It's all official now. It's on the market. Yeah, right. So the top six ways to lure yourself

for Bill Gates. I wonder if he likes arm tickles. Of course he does. Everyone loves tickles. Literally heard me almost choke on a bomb just now. Like a forearm tickle. That's a great tickle. That's a good tickle. It's a good tickle. Of course he does Everyone loves tickles Literally heard me Almost choke on Vom

Like a forearm tickle That's a great tickle That's a good tickle That's a good tickle That's a non-sexual tickle Yeah If you're like back All the other areas

That's pretty sexual But just the forearms Is a nice relaxing tickle Yeah Give myself a forearm tickle If I need to just See I reckon Those little mall

Massage places Need to do forearm tickles Yes Like I reckon People would totally Pay massage places need to do forearm tickles. Yes. I reckon people would totally pay for those. 15 minutes of forearm tickles

and you sit there with your arms out and you shut your eyes and they tickle your forearms. That would be legit. Next on the show, a paramedic in the UK

has lost his job and I would say this is why none of us could be paramedics. There's so many reasons. Tickles. It's not tickles. No. The patient so many reasons. It's not tickles, no. The patient's not responding.

Have you tried tickles? ZDM, Splatch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, a paramedic in the UK has been suspended after an inquiry. Inquiry? Inquiry. Inquiry. Inquiry. Investigation.

Inquiry. And after an investigation. And they looked into the details. Yeah, he's since quit though before the investigation could release its findings. He was a paramedic, you know, like an ambulance person. Yeah. And it came to their attention that he had posted 14 comments about his job on Facebook, which he said was

to boost morale and just humorous. Right. That was his defense. I'm just being funny. I'm boosting morale. It's just a lighter look at my job. Okay. Now he criticized some of the 999

callers. They've got 999. We've got 111. Yeah. I wonder why it's different. It's not the same everywhere. I don't know why there wasn't some sort of universal situation. Weird. Apparently one patient called over chest pains after playing Nintendo Wii

and he mocked them online. Another couldn't decide if they were having a seizure or eating a sandwich when they turned up to the 999 call. Somebody else, he teased another on Facebook who dialed 999 after suffering from three weeks of smelly poos. It does sometimes, doesn't it? Also mocked another patient online, including one who called an ambulance out for having a paper cut on their neck.

Okay, so... But that could be close to the artery. I can kind of see the humorous, you know, like these shouldn't have been 999 call-outs. Yeah. But, I mean, like, he's not really supposed to tell everyone about it, is he? Well, yeah, you should probably, if you've got a job like this, probably just keep those thoughts.

Well, just tell everyone at a party and don't write it down on Facebook. Yeah, or make it so only you can see it. So it's a humorous look back at what you were doing on that day. And that's just good advice. Now, as I get a reminder that I've got Facebook members from this day and years gone past, to just scan through, see what's changed over time, what's not appropriate now. Probably wasn't appropriate then, but you were in your 20s and a bit of a dickhead and

change that to only me so that you can see your own personal growth, but nobody else has to see the horrendous thing you thought. Yeah. You're constantly deleting things, aren't you? No, I put it to only me so that every year I see it, I'm shocked. And then I think, only I've been able to see that for years. Yeah. I'm a And then I think Only I've been able to see that for years I'm a better person now As a moment of everyday Personal reflection and growth

It's quite wild that we'd always post to Facebook Like I don't post to anything now You're probably the person I know That posts the most stuff Probably because you just want the memories Totally Yeah We were going to print out

some photos the other day and I was like, why? Why? Yeah, there really is no point. Yeah. Where do you look at photos now though? Because...

You just see what you're doing on this day in previous Facebook entries. Get those, you know those frames that will shuttle through like a hundred digital photo frames.

Yeah, no one's doing that. Yeah, someone's auntie does that. Oh, do they? Well, I'm just assuming it's a very auntie thing to do. Oh, 100%. And then she just will have dragged a folder and there'll be some wildly inappropriate photo in the middle of it.

100%. Like your uncle's butthole. That's exactly what I was thinking. Students and parents at Queen Elizabeth College in Palmerston North are upset. And I think rightfully so because they were caught off guard when a camera was put into the female,

one of the female's bathrooms. A security camera. Right, but not like so you could see anyone in the toilets, right? No, so the cameras, it has a screenshot of what it can see. So it doesn't go into the cubicles. It's outside the cubicles looking at the sinks where you wash your hands. So no vaping there.

No vaping. Because they'll see the vape smoke. But it's not vaping that was the reason. It's because they were saying it was in response to over $15,000 worth of damage to the bathroom. Whoa. How do you do that to a toilet block? No, because we used to just wet toilet paper

and throw it on the roof. Oh. Yes. Mate, like toilet paper splodges. Yeah, and then it dries. And then it seeps in. Yeah, it dries and it's like a rock hard cake. Don't do that.

I'm not encouraging that. But that scraping that off, a lot of those are going to be scraped off before it's $15,000 worth of damage. Yeah. Mirror smashed, sink ripped from the wall. Good Lord.

Well, if you're behaving like that, you're going to get a camera in there. No sympathy from you then. But the camera was put in during the school holidays and then they got back and there was no sign. There was no consultation. And one of the students said that she went in and got changed into her school uniform in the bathroom and then noticed the camera.

Oh, okay. And where the camera was looking. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's bad. Oh, you never get changed in that part because one of the bullies could come in and you could be in your undies and then they'll pick you up and wedgie you. Yeah. You never get changed in that part.

You're always going to a lockable area. Girls didn't get wedgies, though, eh? I never got a wedgie but I knew boys were getting wedgies. That's so horrific. Man, school sucks. People are so mean. Yeah, I mean they probably should have told everybody. 100% should have told because

like... Would you have rather at high school got a wedgie? I was talking to friends about this recently. Like what public school bullying, which we all experienced versus private school bullying. Where like- They just tease you about the size of your trust fund. Or they tease you about like that you don't drive a European car or something. I think I just would have rather got the occasional wedgie.

Yeah. Than just be berated by a bunch of 16 year olds-olds who are driving around in a car their parents bought them about why the car my parents have lent me. It's a pile of shit. Oh, no, I could take that because I'd just laugh in their face. And then I'd smash into their car and be like, oh, well. Okay. Oh, yeah, no.

Get a tow bar back into their car. Be like, I didn't see anything. At the social media desk, Carwain, your school did this, had cameras. Yes, they did. What school? Do you want to say your school? What city? In Hawke's Bay.

Okay. There's a few schools there. Take your pick. No, yeah, we had cameras that looked into kind of the sink area, not into the toilet, just the sink area, and where you came in through the door so that they could keep an eye out for who was going in and setting fire to the toilet paper.

Now, would they take the toilet paper out, make a pile and set it on fire or set it on fire on the roll? I never did it, so I don't actually know. Was it one of the big commercial rolls that are a foot wide or little rolls? We had those toilet paper holders that were blocks, like squares, that you couldn't really pull it out. Oh, my God, those were horrible, eh?

Yeah. And it was like wiping your bum with baking paper. Yeah, non-burn. Did you have, like, a meeting and they were like, okay, so we're putting cameras in because you guys are setting fire to it? Maybe they announced it at, like, assembly. There were signs. We knew about it.

How rough was the school? You turned out all right. It's a lovely school. Okay. They were setting fire to it. That doesn't happen all the time. I guess not. Right.

Good Lord. Wow. Who'd be a teacher? Kids are just so hard to deal with. We weren't even allowed lockers at school. There had been lockers, but they got rid of them because people would go away on school holidays and leave food in them and then

they'd come back to maggots pouring out everywhere and weevils. Yeah, yuck. Okay, fair enough. You need to have anything that a locker needs to be completely hosed down-able. Needs to be on a linode area. Yeah, gross. Pay teachers more, to be on a linode area. Yeah. Gross.

God, pay teachers more, eh? Having to deal with this. You know, the maintenance staff, pay them more. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Olympics is on. I mean, if you don't know that, then God, where have you been? Imagine someone at that very moment was like, you are kidding me. I've missed a lot of it by the sounds of things.

Well, there's been a look into why we cry while we watch the Olympics or maybe feel emotionally overwhelmed watching the Olympics. Because we haven't been the ones waking up early to go to Lake Carapero to put in the rowing practice and swimming lanes and diving over and over again. Yeah. Practising all our lives. So an Australian journalist wanted to know, we've got no, we haven't been doing this.

Yeah. Why are we crying? Mary Splane, a psychologist at the Australian Institute of Sports, said it's as simple as the fact that we're a bunch of little bitches. The end. Oh my God, I was like, what? No. She's like, what are you whinging about? Get out there.

No, she's... That would be Fletcher the psychologist. We asked psychologist, sports psychologist, Carl Fletcher, why people cry. He had no idea. He's never cried himself. And he said, stop crying and get on with what you're supposed to be doing. You literally were just like, grow up.

And then the patient's like, okay, what do we do with the other 59 minutes? I'm like, just sit here. Sit here? Shut up. I'm going on my phone. Do you really not talk to me? And then the patient's like, what was that noise? I don't recognise that notification. And Fletcher's like, shut up. That's another... I'm trying to look at my phone. That's another career that's not for me.

So, no, apparently it's just the emotional connection between watching it. And if you don't experience it, then you don't have a huge amount of empathy for people and their struggles and what they've overcome and connecting with people on an emotional level. So I'm just...

I get that. Have you cried? I don't cry. I'm getting more jazzed at these Olympics than I thought I would. Yeah, right. No, definitely there have been some moments where I'm just like, oh, that is pretty nice. It's so nice. I've cried so much at these Olympics than I thought I would. Yeah, right. Oh no, definitely there have been some moments where I'm just like, oh, that is pretty

nice. It's so nice. I've cried so much at these Olympics. Oh, really? But I think I cry a lot more now that I'm a mum. Anytime anyone wins something or gets like emotional, because when the women's sevens won. Oh yeah. Oh. I cried. I was too jazzed. I was more excited.

Oh no, I get excited. But then as soon as they get emotional, I'm like, you feel that loose. I was like, yes, yes, yes. Oh no, I get excited, but then as soon as they get emotional, I'm like, you feel that goose bumpy tingle over your body and then the tears come

and I can't stop it. They, Lisa Carrington yesterday, when she won her second gold medal of the day, went up for the anthem, she was almost a bit like,

I've got another race to think about. I think she was still too much in the zone, right? Yeah, probably. Which is probably what makes her a bloody phenomenal athlete. Yeah, she's like, God, hurry another race to think about. I think she was still too much in the zone. Yeah, probably. Which is probably what makes her a bloody phenomenal athlete. Yeah, she's like, God, hurry up with this. Yeah, I've got to go back and scale some protes

and have a bit of a rest. Ice these absolute weapons. What else did you cry at? When those high jumpers shared the gold. So it's not even like just Kiwi teams. And the Italian was so excited and then got all emotional. I just had a wee cry.

What else have I cried at? RuPaul's. Oh, when Keita Mean won. That's an Olympics. When Keita Mean won. There might be something to that. Because another Thomas Dixon who wrote a book called The History of Weeping, said that sport is to contemporary humans what profound religious experience

and theatrical moments were to humans of centuries gone by. So when we watch the likes of the Olympics, it might have been like somebody seeing a Shakespearean play. Oh, right. Or RuPaul's Drag Race. Thinking they were witnessing a miracle or witnessing New Zealand's own Keita Mien winning RuPaul Down Under.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. So it's just that it's the same emotional connection to something that we're visually right. I'm just a really empathetic person. I just feel people's emotions, you know? Right.

I take it on board and then I'm just like, oh my God, it's a triumphant moment. Like, I don't know What you feel When you see that happen You just Well I'm happy for them Yeah okay I'm not a robot Megan

I reckon it would be The national anthem That would get me I don't know what it is About the dumb old National anthem When it starts playing I'm like

Here we go From the ZM think tank This is the top six. Bill Gates. Melinda French Gates. Sound like some ornate Gates. French Gates. The French Gates.

Yeah, I'll go with the French ones. They've finalized their divorce. So he's currently the world's fourth richest man $151 billion That's all Fourth richest So they filed for divorce May 3rd After 27 years of marriage And it's unsure how they're splitting the money

Yeah But apparently they're keeping their names Forbes estimates that Ms. French Gates' net worth Is at $3.2 billion Although it could get much higher. Yeah. In that, you know, ongoing, in the ongoing splitting of assets. There wouldn't have been like a prenup, right?

Well, no, they were married before the money was made. Yeah. So if she gets half of that, wow. Apparently not getting spousal support, though, because, you know, that's a thing. Yeah. We're always like, that's so weird. So weird. She donousal support, though. Because, you know, that's a thing. Yeah. That we're always like, that's so weird. So weird.

She don't need it, though. She's got $3 billion. And then half of $150 billion. She's an outgoing lady. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation was pretty massive. Yeah. So that means he's now on the market. Yeah.

All their three children are over 18, so they should have moved out of home by now. I'd be hanging around too. If one of the things up for grab was their 66,000 square foot late front estate in the Seattle suburbs. Oh, yeah. Maybe the kids are still at home,

but let's get them out of home by becoming their new stepmom or dad. The top six ways to lure yourself with Bill Gates. Number six, tell him you got his microchip and your 5G reception is better than ever. You don't buy into all that other nonsense and all the naysayers about the microchipping. You loved your vaccine.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to lure yourself with Bill Gates. Tell him back in the day when everybody was buying iPods, you had a Microsoft Zune. Do you remember the Microsoft Zune? Yeah, they tried, didn't they? Cute. I reckon Microsoft Zunes

will be one of those things that will be a fun little collector's item to have one day. Really? Yeah, one of the early Zunes. Yeah, they were their take on like the... They were an MP3 player, weren't they? Yeah, one of the early Zooms. Yeah, they were their take on like... They were an MP3

player, weren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think they quit just after they could play videos. Yeah. Number four, but Bill would like that. He'd love that. Number four on the list of the top six ways to lure yourself with Bill Gates. Number four, tell him if you had a billion dollars you wouldn't go to space either like those other

space losers. He seems to be the only billionaire in the top five with no interest in going to space. Yeah, he's been spending his billions on vaccinating, you know, poor people in countries. Yeah, exactly. And that takes us to number three on the list. Tell him that you might

have malaria. Oh, yeah, okay. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the massive thing that first got them into it, they really wanted to eliminate malaria. Oh, yeah, okay. Because the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the massive thing that first got them into it, they really wanted to eliminate malaria. Yeah. And they did a fantastic job. Yeah. Doing so in third world countries.

And so, you know, good streak there. That'll impress him. Take a space. Yeah. Would it impress him if you had malaria? Who knows? But he'd be, you know, he'd be ready. He'd come to help you and then he falls in love with you.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to lure yourself with Bill Gates. Officially change your first name to Shattha and middle name to Front and then you'll have no choice to marry you so your name can be Shattha Front Gates. Wow.

Yep, that's good. You'd be like, okay, that's good from you. I'm shut the front, Smith, and that doesn't work. But if we get married, I'll take your name, and I'll be shut the front gates. Now, tell me that's not worth at least trying it out. Yeah. Sure, I'll sign a prenup.

I would be so impressed if somebody had done that. I would have to give them at least one date. Or a billion dollars. Or if you've got 130 of it, why not give Or a billion dollars. Or a million. If you've got 130 of it, why not give them a billion dollars? And if you could please put my auxiliary sound up,

Fletch, because we've got some audio accompaniment for number one. The top six ways to lure yourself for Bill Gates. Change all your phone

notifications to this sound. That'll absolutely get him going. Even on your iPhone? Put a Microsoft sticker on the back or something. He's not using a Windows phone, though, is he? Oh, my God. What phone has he got?

I'm pretty sure he would, though. Yeah. Or maybe an iPhone in a Windows case. Yeah. Maybe. Possibly. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

This is a disappointing stat for humanity. 40% of people have admitted to ordering food just to take pictures and don't actually eat it. Don't eat it. For Instagram. For social media. For social media. Oh, I can understand buying something because it looks cool. And then like taking a photo.

But it's got to taste good as well. And then of course you've got to eat it. But buying it because you're going to take a photo and then you're not eating it. You've got to eat it. That's wild. I don't think I've ever made a choice. I don't think I've ever made a choice at a restaurant or a cafe because it would look good on Instagram. Like I just don't post pictures of food.

No, it was a massive thing, like, when Instagram first started. Yeah, everyone was gramming the meals. Even now, you still see people getting their meals at places, and the first thing everyone does is take a photo. Yeah. I mean, I've definitely been influenced by the gram going somewhere and getting that meal. Yes, but only because it's yum and I want it in my tum tums.

Yeah, because you want to eat it. Because I want to eat it. Not because you have to take a photo and then not eat it. 100%. That's wild. But 40% of people have admitted that and that includes beverages as well.

Maybe those big like crazy milkshakes. I don't know. But 19% have said that they never had any intention of eating them in the first place. That's wild. 27% said that their desire to post better looking food photos online has led to a change in their diet.

Isn't a bad change? I don't know. Because you're eating fried chicken. They're not eating that. This is also horrendously wasteful. Oh, yeah. At a time where we're trying to cut back on our waste because there's people without.

To buy something and not eat it is insane. Carwen at the social media desk went to Queenstown. Can you hear me in there? You went to Queenstown recently. Carwen, I can't hear me. You just let me know when you're ready. Carwen, can you hear me now? Yes. You went to Queenstown. I saw you

put a photo up of that cookie time. I ate it. Did you do the whole thing? Well, there was a little bit at the bottom because it was quite lumpy with all the cookie. Yeah. The line at that place is always nuts. I walked past it when I was last in Queensland. It was like breakfast and there was a line.

I saw when we were waiting, I would have seen four kids get the most lavish looking thick shake situation with like chocolate and cream and like a cookie on top with more ice cream and then another cookie and then a straw down like they look phenomenal

and they photograph very well but I saw three or four kids be like I'm full. I want that one. Are you sure you're going to eat all that? I want that one. That's why I just got my children

the smallest thing and a cookie for later because I'm a prick. That's why I just got my children the smallest thing and a cookie for later because I'm a prick. But also you're aware they're not going to eat it. But our friends that we were with, their kids got these big lavish ones and they were like I have had enough. I think that's what I did as

an adult though. I was like I've had enough. Because they're massive things. They're huge and they look rad but just look at them. I know that's hard to say. But it's different because if I was by myself, I'd probably get one.

But with the family, I'm like, I'm not having this much waste. I'm not having this much money for this much I know is not going to get eaten. Well, you don't need to buy one because you can finish everyone else's. That's the dad diet. Yeah. And you don't lose any weight on the dad diet because you end up eating more than if you just bought your own meal. Yeah.

And portion control it rather than just finishing everything everybody else doesn't finish. But hey, at least there's no waste. Bingo. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Oh, God, a sports injury. That's not a sports injury. Would we call it a sports injury?

I was doing like a bear crawl. You're getting old when you hurt yourself for doing ordinary things. No, I've really hurt my shoulder. But when I recreated the story, it's really not that glamorous. Right, a bear crawl. That's what you do at like F45 and those kind of insane workouts. The bear crawl, you're still on all fours. Yeah Were you still on all fours? Yeah, you're on all fours.

Not on your knees. Not on your knees. Your hands and your feet. But your knees are hovering. And they make you go backwards. Yeah, back and forwards or sideways. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not even that hard out.

Okay. Because my knees weren't hovering. Right. It was probably just a regular crawl. You were on your hands and knees. So I was putting my son down for a nap and it's dark in his room, but he can sense when you're leaving him. And so he has a cry.

So I was down on hands and knees. Why don't you just shut the door and just... Well, no, the door is shut. Right. No, Fletcher's saying why don't you walk out and shut the door on the crying baby. Yeah, and then the door's shut so it's muffled and then headphones or the TV and then just let it cry. Yeah, I mean

that's one idea. I've got a parenting book, do you want more? I've got lots of chapters. Let them cry. You've got to let them cry. I put my hand on his chest and he's like, okay, cool, you're there. But then eventually I've got to go. I I put my hand on his chest and he's like Okay cool you're there

But then eventually I've got to go I can remember these days I can remember putting my finger through the gap of a cot And having them hold my finger And lying on the ground And then slowly being like Try to get your finger out And the minute that finger slides out

There's Okay have the finger back. Oh God, this sounds hideous. So, he'd gone to sleep and so I was like, okay,

I gotta get out of this room and I gotta open the door. That's when you find every creak in your floorboard. Yeah. Oh, you don't have floorboards, you got a concrete base,

God bless, God bless. We had the creaky old floorboards, you'd be like, it's like Indiana Jones. Not creaky floorboards, my knees, cause, oh my God.

I've got an ACL injury. At least my house, the creaky floorboards is like 100 years old. I tore my ACL so I've got pins in one of my knees and when I stand up,

it goes, and I'm like, good Lord, I can't stand up beside the cock because the cracking might. Oh, my God.

That must be an erotic sound you're making. That must not put off anybody. It's like Mr. Toyboy's making love to one of those Boston Dynamic Robots. Coated in a rotisserie chicken. Coated in a rotisserie chicken. You know when you pull a leg off a rotisserie chicken What do you mean? When you're dismembering a cooked chicken

And you get to a gristly bit And you know it's been cooked And it goes As you pull it off You're such a bitch Robotic Okay so you've got to... So that's why I didn't just stand up and walk out.

Also, I didn't want him to see me. Because you make robot noises. So I crawled along the floor to try and get to the door, and then I'd open the door. Yeah, you stay low. Stay low. Stay low so if they eye open, they can't see the movement of you. God, they're like one of those sensor things.

A security sensor. They are. You spend so long trying to get him to sleep. You don't want the movement of you. God, they're like one of those sensor things. A security sensor. They are. God, you spend so long trying to get him to sleep. You don't want anything to wake him. So I'm crawling along the floor. My knee was fine, but I pulled something in my shoulder. Oh, God. I literally put my arm out to crawl

and something like in my shoulder just pinched and it's still lingering. You're going to have to write that on your ACC form. I was crawling away from my baby. We can go to ACC at the same time. I'll say my arm sore from tickling my wife for too long. Well, concentrating on the Olympics. And you can say you hurt your shoulder by commando crawling away. Yeah.

And Fletch, however you hurt your back you're probably gonna have to lie about that though because it's filthy it was at the gym oh that's a good lie that's a good lie it was always saying it happened at the gym it's not a lie uh yes but i'm i'm seriously might have to go get some physio or something because it's still lingering might change the acc formula but um would love to know your lamest injuries you know like the lamest way because it's still lingering. Might change the ACC form though. Amazing. Would love to know your lamest injuries. You know, like the... Like the lamest way? Because it's not like

you were doing like a gym class or an Olympic sport or you were halfway through a marathon or something. No. You were crawling away

in your home. It's probably my lack of exercise at the moment that's caused an injury in something so simple. Get out to the lounge and you're like, oh my God,

my shoulder's so sore. And then you just watch Lisa Carrington race like four races in a row, two of which were resulting in a gold medal with like the shoulders, you know, the shoulders powering the nation. You're like, god damn. That was literally my afternoon. Just rubbing it in. I wonder what she uses on her shoulders.

Oh, maybe I should ice it. At least Carrington. G'day mate, congratulations on the gold. What rub do you use if you get a sore shoulder? I myself am currently sporting a shoulder injury. Shoulder injury. All right. 0800-DANCE-IT-EM.

We want you to give us a call now. You can text us at 9696. What's the lamest way you injured yourself? I'd love to know the lamest way you injured yourself. I was crawling away from my son's cot trying not to wake him, and I've hurt my shoulder. You've torn a shoulder or you've pinned a shoulder. You've done something. But those lame injuries

when you weren't going hard out. Maybe you were just in the kitchen. Does that mean I can't go to a sports doctor? Because technically it wasn't a sport. Crawling. Well, you've got to go to physio first. They've got to do, what do they call them, a referral.

Yeah. So I don't know if you're that serious yet. Someone text messaged in, and while their initial act was quite athletic, the end of it not so much. I was wall twerking and pinched a nerve in my back, which immediately locked my back, and then I couldn't hold myself up. So I slid down the wall onto my face. That's what all the sexy

twerkers are doing. I'd love to work at ACC and win all the forms come in. You'd just be like guys look at this one. It's great. Lynn,

what was your lame the lame injury? The lame way that you injured yourself? Good morning. I was actually camping and packing up an air bed

and rolling it up and kneeling on it as you roll it to get the air out of it. And I heard this snap and I thought, well, why have I got a twig in my tent?

And then rolled it again and felt this shooting pain and I'd actually knelt on my own finger and broken two bones and I ended up in a splint for six weeks. Lynn, so the crack, there was no feeling when the crack happened?

No, no, there was just this weird sound and then the next roll it was like, actually this hurts a bit and then within about five minutes it was very black. Right, you had quite a, do you have quite a delayed pain sensation, Lynn? I think, well I was so focused on getting this thing packed up, I didn't really, you know, register until... Yeah. Any adrenaline and stuff. Yeah.

Just do that thing that people do at R&V in Gisborne and just leave your tent just in the paddock. Well, yeah, I could have done that. To avoid that kind of thing. Thanks, Lynn. Sean, what was the lamest way you injured yourself? Yeah, I was getting a bit wet, so I decided to open my umbrella. And as I was doing that, I sliced my hand open.

On an umbrella? On an umbrella. You know the little metal bit that usually would go in? Yeah, that didn't go in. Just something so innocent like putting up an umbrella and then you're out of action. Oh, yeah. I had 10 stitches in there, so it was a good-sized circle.

Jesus. That is a wonderful size. Was it a cheap umbrella? Was it a super-mild dairy umbrella? Yeah, well, I put it on the ground, so I kind of cheated, but, you know, it was wet, so I was like, well, I might as well open it up. I think that's why somebody threw it on the ground, Sean,

probably sliced them open as well. Yeah. Yeah. It went to the bin, I'll tell you. Yeah, nice. Sean, thanks for your call. Hannah, what was the lamest way you injured yourself? I dislocated my shoulder by brushing my hair.

That was recently where you're like, I can hear knots. Yeah, I can see at the end of the hair it could be in a funny angle. Actually, no. It was right up to the top of my head And my shoulder just dislocated And I couldn't bring it back down Oh my god How did you Do you have to go to the hospital

With your arm in the ear? Well I had to get a friend To pop it back down And then I was trying to Howl my arm And went to the hospital And yeah it was dislocated

Oh And did you have to say Did you have to put that on your form? I dislocated my shoulder Brushing my hair? Yeah literally Yep I was off for four? I dislocated my shoulder brushing my hair? Yeah, literally. Yep. I was off for four months.

What? Four months for brushing your hair? Isn't that insane? Just like one little thing. Wow. A daily thing. Thanks, you called, Hannah. Abby, the lame way that you injured yourself.

I was on the toilet. And I had to... Oh, it's so embarrassing. And I had to obviously lift, it's so embarrassing. And I had to obviously lift up and got to wipe and something twigged near my calf. And I was a dancer

in shows at the time and I had to not dance for a month leading up to our show day. Oh, wow. Definitely lied on my ACC form. Do you, now, do you, just to get a full picture here at ACC,

we need to know, do you wipe while sitting or do you stand to wipe? I do that weird twat thing. So you come up half the way. Half between. Yeah. Oh, right. You've got to hover. And then obviously, I don't know what happens.

I think I do a little hover. Oh, sometimes, maybe. Well, no, I'm I do a little hover. Oh, sometimes, maybe. Well, no, it stands fully up because it closes the butt. No, because it closes. It closes the shop. You need it open for a wipe. Yeah, yeah. So it is a scrubber.

But some people don't even leave the seat. They scooch forward a little bit. Yeah, that's odd. Those are really odd. They are. They'll touch the toilet bowl. Yeah, Megan's one of those people. That's why she's quiet.

I just don't need the whole country knowing how I wiped, to be honest. Abby, thanks for your call. Also, scrunchers are monsters. It's a message from a scruncher. You're a monster. You've got to fold because then you get a nice flat. Why did you want a scrunchie paper? Fingles will go around the sides.

All right. Other lame ways you've hurt yourself. Somebody said I put my back out lifting a loaf of bread out of a supermarket trolley. Somebody else said they work at a supermarket. And someone, you know that thing where you're in front of your trolley? Yeah. And there's something right at the back. And you've got to lean over.

Someone said it was like a deep trolley. And they actually like seized up and fell into the trolley. Now, I could now but laugh. Yeah. I'm anti-deep trolleys. Always get the half trolley. Yes. Shallow trolleys are the absolute future.

Somebody said at work they asked me if I could get the Christmas ornaments out. Picking up the lights I put my back out. Very light lights. I mean the name was in the title wasn't it?

Well they don't call them heavies do they? They don't call them heavies. At all. You put up the Christmas tree heavies. Someone said I had a dumbbell lined up to use, 15 kgs. That's pretty heavy.

I had to move the 2kg dumbbell out of the way. It was the 2kg dumbbell that did the damage. Just picked it up funny and absolutely wrecked my back. Oh, my God. I'm a dairy farmer and there was a Swede in the crop paddock. Not a Swedish person, an actual Swede. Oh, I saw it. Maybe a backpacker just made camp or something.

Yeah, was doing poos and he was famous for it. And I was just thinking and wandering and I kicked it. And I broke my big toe. Like then I kicked it. I was like. That was really established, that Swede. That was. It sounds like it was.

Yeah, right. It had really taken root. Someone said I sneezed in the shower and headbutted the window. Broke my nose. Oh, my God. How close? You must have been that. Maybe doing that thing where you just rest your head on the shower glass

and the... And then like a... Oh, that too. Yeah. Totally. Because you go like that. And you're like, I'm in a waterfall. This is great.

At that time, you got hit with a surprise sneeze. You would be like. You would. You'd hit a glass. Oh, Lord. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Clay ZM. This is a PSA for people who use menstruation tracking apps

and fertility tracking apps. And this comes from a couple of New Zealand doctors. So Dr. Brindle Homan Marriott, who is a sociologist from the Otago University, said people need to know there are risks with these apps, that they aren't made by medical professionals. So some of these apps are claiming to pre-diagnose conditions such as endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome. So people can put in symptoms and things you're experiencing in your cycle and they may diagnose you with these conditions. But sometimes the symptoms you're experiencing may be vague and I guess it's kind of like Googling your symptoms. Well, it's always the worst case scenario when you Google anything, isn't it?

Medical wise. Doctors are worried that people are diagnosing, kind of self-diagnosing using these apps. And also the fact that they are not entirely accurate on fertility. So a lot of, so many women, including myself, use these for trying to figure out when your fertility window is. Okay. But they're not accurate. And so another doctor from Fertility Associates in Wellington

said there was a dramatic change in the way that his clients had tracked their fertility. And almost all of his clients used menstruational fertility tracking app. And they were different. They were wrong. Well, yeah. He said if I'd seen them a couple of years ago, they would probably have had a baby by now because they're not entirely accurate.

Right. Which is kind of, I mean, mean yeah that's kind of upsetting because did you find that they what was your what's your experience well because i we were trying for almost two years and we were using um a fertility tracking app which i know a lot of people use called ovia right um and it tells you it's informative because a lot of women don't really know much about the specifics of a cycle, but probably not entirely accurate because we did eventually go to Fertility Associates and get help.

Is it too broad? Because everybody's different, right? Does it just take the average? But the thing about taking an average is that not everybody is average. You track every aspect of your cycle and I guess it's supposed to collect data

and then remember and make an algorithm for you. But it's still, I mean, how accurate can it really be? It's still just a computer kind of making an average of the data that you put in. So it's something to keep in mind if you're using these.

I guess if you just want to know when your period's going to be, and that's pretty harmless. But if you're getting self-diagnosed, go to the doctor. Yeah. I use a tracking app. It's pretty accurate. It's when you order Domino's. You can see them coming down the road.

Because I think it's connected to their car or their phone. Yeah, it is. I'm always amazed at how accurate it is. But you should be able to get a free pizza if it tells you your period's coming and it's late. And some chocolate and some ice cream too. Yeah, at least a voucher for the next time. Well, four days left of the Olympics Sunday they finish in Tokyo.

Yeah, I'm just seeing... We'll recap yesterday. I was just googling how many holes... You were just googling. I was just googling. How many holes of golf do they play? Do they not do the full... I don't know, because she said that Lydia Coe

starts today, but is for the next three days. Is 18 holes of golf three days in a row a lot? I don't know. I mean, this is the Olympics, baby. Yeah, because this is a 72 hole individual stroke play for both men and women. Scores are cumulative from round to round.

Huh. So you might have a shocker first round, but a blitzing second round. And it's averaged out to a... Tell you what, we've had some crashes, some cycling crashes, haven't we? Woo-wee. So Great Britain and the team, was it Great Britain that crashed? Yeah. After setting the record?

Because I was thinking, God, they get close to each other. If the guy in front of you is not going fast enough and your wheels touch, you're all over. Oh, yeah. You're going down. You never touch wheels. The Canadian diver who just gave up on her dive because she must have double

bounced herself and she just went plop into the water. She was like, either I just plop in or I might hurt myself. She plopped in. She should have manu'd. I reckon she still could have dropped a mad manu. A bad boom! Feet first and got a zero. Like, you think about it. Any of us could have

stood on that platform and just gone in and got at least a one. Yeah. That's not what she wants to hear today. No. Got to be horrible the whole world's watching you funny dive. So that's your funny stuff. That's your wotsi daisies. But man, yesterday was a cracking day for the Kiwis.

Lisa Carrington bagging two golds. Almost a boat length clear. Wham! What a finish! No praises too high. Three gold medals and Lisa Carrington is a Kiwi canoeing superstar. And then an hour, was it an hour late at least then? Don't forget she'd raced twice before that as well. Lisa Carrington, Caitlin Regal, another gold on this marvellous day of canoeing. Carrington

and Regal. Oh, it means a lot. Yeah, that action from Sky Sports. Lisa Carrington raced 1400 metres yesterday over four different races. She did two K2 500s, which she did the semifinals and then won gold. And she did her own 200 metre semifinal and final. Yeah.

And got gold. She is a Yamaha outboard motor in a human body. She's amazing. She's a real little dinghy. She is a machine. It's insane to watch. She's so good to watch. In athletics, Nick Wallace advances to the finals.

Sorry, semifinals in the 1500s. No semis for Nick. He's given that up, hasn't he? Remember that? He was a bit of a barker in the past. Diving, I think, yeah, Anton Down Jenkins competed last night, but did not medal. This is really good, though.

Like, yeah, really good for Kiwi divers. Yep. And nipples everywhere. Yeah, as previously mentioned. Boxing, David, say his last name again. Nika. Nika. I get scared of saying it every time.

Why do you not? He's so handsome, he makes me nervous. I watched that fight. There was too many pictures on his face. I put up a picture of him saying he's too beautiful to have his face punched when he got his bronze medal. I heard from straight men. I heard from gay men.

I heard from straight women. I heard from gay women. I heard from people all over the spectrum of sexuality and gender. And they all want to hump him. Across the board. Across the board, everybody said that is the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

And my mum was thirsting over this. Oh yeah, he's right up your mum's alley. You actually keep him the hell away from your mum. Your mum will get cancelled. But I had a big smile after the fight. I was will get cancelled. He should actually... Did I expect smile after the fight? I was like, oh. He should actually get a restraining order against the general public and your mum on his return.

The whole country? Yeah. We got a silver medal yesterday in sailing. Yep. We had to... Germans had to beat the British, but the British won and then we lost. I don't know if it's because of the America's Cup, but those boats just look quite comical to me.

That's what I said to Sade. I was like, it's so funny after these big, intensely quick America's Cup boats with stiff masts, everything's like... To these little... It's like your rich parents have taken you to the St. Helier's Yacht Club to try and make you the next Russell Cootes. Yeah. Or you're in Rarotonga on a Murray beach and you hire a catamaran because you think it's something your dad did once and he could probably teach you how to do it.

That's bizarre. Isn't that a testament to them as sailors, though? From, like, one extreme to the other of boats. Man, maybe you're right there. Two qualifying for the final in the shot put, Tom Walsh and Jack O'Gill. That's going to be on Thursday, the final for the men's shotty. Julia Ratcliffe threw a hammer 72 metres.

Good Lord. Yeah, like a hammer, like it's a ball on the end of a chain. It's not just like a hammer out of the top of the box. Wow. Just phenomenal athleticism everywhere, left, right and centre. Let's look at what's happening today. Lydia Ko, as I said, individual stroke play day one. They give her a three out of five star chance of getting a medal.

Okay. In that. She's won events before, so fingers crossed. Yeah. Caitlin Regal and Lisa Carrington are back in the boat today, except they look to be... They're facing each other. They're rowing against each other, aren't they?

They will be if they both advance. I believe this is the single 500-metre kayaks. We've got a double 1,000-metre kayak. That is Max Brown and Curtis Imrie. That's happening today at 20 past two. The old Snow Hanson and Wilcox accountants jumping in the boat for some sailing. That's a medal race in the 470s.

Cycling. We've got the sprints. jumping in the boat for some sailing. That's a medal race in the 470s. Okay. Cycling. We've got the sprints. Ethan Mitchell, Sam Webster in the sprints. Oh, what is this thing called? It's a cycling event, but it's called... Team Pursuit? No, Curran. What's the Curran?

Oh, isn't that like a really long one? God. It's about like Kieran. Kieran, cycling. Olympics. That's about like Kieran. Kieran. Cycling. Olympics. That's what I'm after. This is obviously pretty advanced stuff.

30 cyclists from 18 nations. Oh, yes! This is the chaos one! This is where they're all on their own. On the velotrome. Yeah, there'll be

some crashes. Yes. I don't like watching them crash. I love it. I like it when it's, you're like, ah! Whoa! Team Pursuit Cycling as well.

Daniel Meach is on the horse. Go and give the horse a medal. And David Letty this evening and the 109kg plus weightlifting. Yeah, right, okay. There's some medal chances there. We're not done yet, baby. We're the little island nation that could. We want more medals than some huge...

Aren't we third per capita currently? Oh, that's good. Check the per capita. We've got to win per capita. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. So yesterday afternoon, backstory. I've been telling my children the great pleasure of being a parent. Don't play with that inside.

Yeah. It feels good. I can see why my parents did it so often. Except my brother and I did break a bunch of stuff ignoring their rules of don't play with that inside. So August plays soccer and has like rolled the ball around. And I say, hey, look, don't play with that inside. And then I'm like a driving instructor. I say, hey, look, don't play with that inside. And then I'm like a driving instructor. I say, okay, stop now.

Tell me the things that that ball could break. And then you look around in the room and you point out all the things that could break. And then I say, and that would upset mum, wouldn't it? If it was like a pot or some art or a clock or anything. The shelves, the candles. That would upset mum, wouldn't it? Anything, yeah.

And it would really upset me too. So I was out in the paddock yesterday seeing to the farmlet animals. Yep. And when I came in, Indy was standing right in front of the door with her hands on her mouth like, in disbelief, like, oh no, oh no. And she was like, oh no. And I was like, what?

What's happened? And she was like, oh no. And it's at that stage that I turn and see a soccer ball on the floor in front of the TV. Yeah. And the TV with a massive impact mark on it, cracked and the colours and everything all shattered all over the TV screen.

And it's at that stage that we can now play this audio that was being recorded at the time. What the f*** happened? Oh, yes. What the f*** happened? Look out! Is it a YouTube video? F*** me!

Even though our insurance is I remind that TV. My heart's still racing. I was just going to be like, how did this happen? August, listen to me! And then I could see that orange ball there. I was like... It was all part of it. Wait, so Sade wasn part of it. Wait,

so Sade wasn't on it. So August pranked Sade when she came in too. And Sade was, apparently didn't like flinch. It was like, dad's going to kill you. And that was all she said.

And her reaction to the, the prank. Yeah. And then they, they pranked me. So it's a YouTube video. Yeah. Called broken screen for one hour.

And then there's one that's just like a still image of the broken screen or there's one that like flickers so it looks like it's still on but it's like trying to process something but it's broken. And I don't even know how she found it or where she found it but she put it up while we were outside.

Oh god, she's gonna do this again, you know. This is just the beginning. This is just the beginning of it. It was so, I can still feel the overall emotion I experienced when I looked and I was just like, oh, no. Someone's going to get, I'm going to have to smack my children for the first time.

I'm going to have to smack one of them. Someone's going to have to get a smack. You wouldn't have dared do that to your parents, eh? You would have just got to hide them before they even realised. I would have got a pre-emptive hiding and then my parents were the sort of people that gave you a hiding for pulling tricks. So I would have got a, then I would have got a once my ass

had cooled down somewhat from the spank and it had gone for the, for panicking them, I would have got a spank for for playing a prank on them. Yeah. It was just, yeah and then it was at that stage I like looked at my watch and it was just, yeah. And then it was at that stage I like looked at my watch and it was like, breathe.

And then I checked my heart and it got up to like 125 beats per minute. Even now thinking about it, I just like, there's a little bit of panic in me that it didn't happen, but it might have. Because that giant 85 inch TV

is your third baby, isn't it? But it didn't happen. And we don't play with balls inside. So, the world is watching Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Benifer's back together again. What years were they active? What were they? When were they?

2000 and... It was G-League. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well before that. Early 2000s. Early 2000s. Because didn't he meet Jennifer Garner on the set of Daredevil? 2002.

Yeah, because that was 2003, 2004. You know your benefit. I know my benefit. Yeah, they met 2002. They got engaged a year later and then parted ways 2004. Yeah, because of Jennifer Garner. He then parted ways 2004. Yeah, because of Jennifer Garner. He went from

Jen to Jen. No, it wasn't an overlap. She, because, didn't Jennifer Lopez get married to Mark Anthony like four months

after they broke up as well? Something like that? To Mark Anthony? They don't mark, they don't muck around, do they? No.

Not until I'm at the prison. But she's been wearing like a necklace that says Ben on it, and they've been recreating scenes from Jenny from the Block on the yacht. They're just teasing us. They're having fun with the paparazzi. I like that. 100%. Yeah.

But there is just little tidbits that people have noticed. In one of the pictures that Jen has put up on her Instagram, she's wearing a diamond bracelet. It is a yellow and what do you call normal diamonds? White. Yellow and white diamond tennis bracelet. Right. Which is

pretty much exactly the same as one that Ben Affleck bought her in 2002 as a gift. So people are saying that despite them breaking up and them both moving on into several relationships since, she kept it. Yeah.

And he also kept a watch. A watch, which he's been wearing. So he wore a watch in the Jenny from the Block music video. And he's been seen wearing it again. I don't think you just get rid of a watch. Or a bracelet. But what if it's from an ex and you end up breaking up with them? Well, she would have had to have replaced it with a better watch.

This psycho's not going to let Mr. Toyboy wear any jewellery from an ex. But he's not throwing it out. It's in his drawer somewhere or at his parents' place. That'd be weird, man. It's not on the premises, is it? It's not on their premises, but it's within Kiwi. It's in like its own storage unit or a safety deposit box. No, you'd sell it.

Wouldn't you? No, that's weird. That's why you hang on to it. How would Ben Affleck go about selling an expensive watch though? Facebook Marketplace? Like, he's Ben Affleck. Someone's like, yeah, is this watch still available? There's probably just like, there's like a celebrity dating at Raya.

There's probably like a celebrity marketplace. Can you imagine it? I want it on celebrity marketplace because I feel like they just want it gone. Yeah, and they'll be like, I've got more of these free handbags they keep sending me. At Oprah sells their lounge suite to Kylie Jenner.

Yeah, but Tom Cruise has jumped all over it, so nobody wants that. I don't want that lounge suite. The springs in it are buggered. I like to think it exists. Yeah, well, I would love to know, given that Jean and Ben both saved gifts from almost a decade ago. 20 years ago, yeah. 19, 18 years ago.

Oh, yeah, two decades ago. Yeah, that's the thing. The year 2000 wasn't 10 years ago anymore. Oh, my God. I know. Yeah, they saved presents. Have you kept something from an ex? Okay, so what item...

Does your current partner know? Yeah, because that's the thing. You know how you always have a box of crap? What if you just kept a present from an ex. Okay, so what item... Does your current partner know? Yeah, because that's the thing. You know how you always have like a box of crap? What if you just kept a present from an ex? And you're like, this is from my nana.

It's a family heirloom, but it's not. But it's not. And you're like holding on to it. But why are you holding on to it? You don't use it? Yeah. Well, no,

because your crazy missus won't let you wear your sweet watch. Don't point at me when you say crazy missus. So you keep it at your parents' place. Does Andrew have a watch? Skirts. No, he doesn't have sweet watch. Don't point at me when you say crazy missus. So you keep it at your parents' place. Does Andrew have a watch? Skirts.

No, he doesn't have a watch. He doesn't have a watch because you won't let him wear it. He's got that lovely white G-Shock watch. What if your ex gave you like a smart watch or something, like an Apple watch? Well, that's an appliance. You're not going to get rid of that. That's an appliance.

You're not going to get rid of an appliance. You wouldn't get rid of a toaster. You'd absolutely get rid of that. Upgrade. Get a different one. You're going to get rid of an appliance. You wouldn't get rid of a toaster. You'd absolutely get rid of that. Upgrade. Get a different one. You're going to get rid of a perfectly good kitchen appliance just because it was from an ex. Don't make me out to be crazy.

People are going to call. 100%. You're going to understand like a love heart necklace or something, but something that's just got a practical usage. Okay, well, give us a call. I'll wait to hear from you. You can text as well. 9696.

What item do you still have from an ex? Maybe it's in storage or maybe you use it and the ex doesn't know. So we want to know what you've still kept of an ex's. Maybe a present? A gift? Yeah. And you're still using it?

Maybe. Or maybe you've got it stored away somewhere. Yeah. Hidden. Ben and Jean have got, stored away somewhere. Yeah. Hidden. Ben and Jen have got, Ben's got a watch. J-Lo's got a tennis bracelet that they gave each other 20 years ago. And they're rocking them now. So they've kept them all the time.

Despite having other partners along the way. Anonymous, what did you keep in the exes? So it's not a thing so much as, you know, just, yeah. I dated this guy probably about six years ago. And when I heard on the radio, I actually just thought, hmm, I'll give it a go. And it turns out I still have and can still access his Facebook account and stuff. He's never changed his password in like six or seven years. Oh, wow.

So you've still got his password. I probably would not do that again because that's illegal. You've just admitted to a crime. It's like you've called up and admitted to robbing a bank. But she did say she never checked. No, she went into the bank and had a look around. But didn't take any money. Didn't take anything.

Right, okay. No, exactly. Leave anything. I won't try to bank accounts. Would it be awkward, would you find it awkward if you were dating somebody new and they were logging into their ex's Netflix? Oh, definitely. Theft. Yeah, but you're getting free Netflix.

Theft. Yeah. They're paying for it. Yeah, but, I mean, just use mine. This is just a nice monthly reminder to go into your Netflix settings and see what devices have access. This goes for all the streaming services. And then revoke them all.

Make everybody who's got it re-ask for the password. What do you think of... We'll move all change passwords. Yeah, what do you think about this anonymous

text in about cologne? If an ex gave you cologne, would you reuse that with a new partner? Oh no, that's weird. That's too weird. But what are you supposed to do with it?

You're still smelling like your ex. No, no, no. It's your smell. It's a feminine c? You're still smelling like your ex. No, no, no, it's your smell. So it's a feminine cologne that you were given by your ex. That they liked. That your ex liked. Now you're with your new partner, and your new partner's like,

that's the smell that your ex marked you with. Yeah, I think that's too intimate. That's a bit weird. That's because we were just saying, yeah, in studio, someone messaged in saying they're in a real cross point because their partner wants them to get rid of it, but they actually really like it. Right.

Another anonymous caller. What do you still have that your ex gave you? Anonymous. Sorry, is that me? Yes. This is a problem with multiple anonymous callers. My name is really unique, so I just didn't want to have it on air. I know, fickle.

I still have my ex's bed, which he bought with that $1,000 study leg money, and my daughter with my current partner was actually conceived in that bed. Hey, y'all. Wow. Okay. And I'm taking it he doesn't know that. He just walked away and just left you with the bed. Well, we were together for about five years,

and then he went to Australia to become a pilot, and we did long distance for a while, and then we separated, and he was like, oh, well, you can have the bed. And my new partner does know, but he's just, like, so secure with himself. He just doesn't care. And at the time, we were, you know, he was in hospital and I was a student so he didn't have money for a new bed. Yeah, right. Okay. So you've got that and it's still going. Good. Yeah. It's our spare bed at the moment. Good job, Brad. All right. Anonymous, thanks for your call.

Sian, Sian, what do you still have of an ex? Yeah, morning, guys. So I'm actually married now, but 10 years ago I was previously engaged as well, and the ring just fits a lot more comfortable, so I actually still wear my engagement ring. From your other ex? Yes.

How does the current partner feel about that? He doesn't actually realise because they are very, very similar. I lost a lot of weight for my wedding and I've slowly put it on over the years. So the ring that I got previously fits a lot better. Right. Okay. And he doesn't know?

No. You think this call should have been anonymous? Could you? Fine. He listens to The Rock, so I think I'm pretty safe. Oh, yeah. I mean, you could dangle it right in front of his face. He wouldn't know.

I mean, he bought it, and he hasn't noticed. So, yeah, I think you're safeangle it right in front of his face He wouldn't know I mean he bought it and he hasn't noticed So yeah I think you're safe Do you ever consider like taking the first engagement ring And like selling it or getting it melted down They can reuse these things And then putting that credit towards getting this engagement ring Resized and reshaped to be more comfortable It crosses my mind but I'm just so busy It just, it works getting this engagement ring resized and reshaped to be more comfortable? Oh, look, it crosses my mind, but I'm just so busy.

It just, it works. It's like that, man. I'm not suggesting you do it yourself. So he's never seen, like, two rings. He's never even noticed that you've got one on your finger and then there's another one in the drawer. Well, he kind of knows I do have quite a lot of rings anyway. Right. He notices if I'm not wearing one,

but he doesn't really pick up on the fact what ring it is. You're about to go out, you don't have any ring on. He's like, hey, you better put the engagement ring on. Let the lads know you're mine. And then you go and put on a ring another man gave you. I'm actually finding this story about these rings more exciting than Lord of the Rings. Like, I want to know what happens next.

Yeah. Yeah. No, because we have to do the prequels next. Oh, okay. So Ryan can find out what happened before. Right, okay. Possibly more about that initial fiancé. Sian thinks he called some text messages in.

I have a watch from her. She actually gave it to me as a 21st gift 15 years ago, but I don't wear it. It's engraved, but I don't wear it, but I still have it. So it's like a keepsake. It's like a nice watch. Okay. My ex has our wedding present hanging in his new marriage's house. It's a beautiful piece of art, but in a certain angle, it has special words and our wedding date printed on it.

I don't think the new wife knows. Until she's just lying on the couch hungover one day and a glint of light through the window Is that your first wedding date? That seems familiar And those words What's going on here? I still use my wallet that my ex gave me

And it was an expensive one And I've disassociated it from him If my new boyfriend's that uncomfortable with it He can buy me a new one That sounds like a good ploy It's hard to find a good Velcro wallet Yeah, I know. Especially the billabong ones. Yep.

You want a good surf brand on your velcro wallet. I'm still wearing a necklace my ex gave me 20 years ago. My new partner thinks it's weird, but it's part of me now. I feel naked without it. She's gonna have to buy me a new one if she wants it gone. Yeah, good call. Yeah. I kept my wedding ring set from my ex

so I can give it to my daughter when she's older, but it has caused a discussion or two. Yeah. My ex left behind his dog. Does that count? Yeah, that counts. He's still got his dog. But then that's a mouth to feed.

Yeah. And a dog to register. There's a lot of associated costs. Put the dog in a box and send it back to him. Yeah. I have a wooden spoon my ex made me 12 years ago. I use it all the time. It's the best wooden spoon ever.

My husband and I have been together 11 years. He doesn't know the history of the spoon, so don't call me. He's stirring the bollock nays in ignorant bliss. Every man whose wife has a favourite wooden spoon is going home tonight and being like, show me that spoon. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the first running of the marathon

in the modern Olympics. The marathon is always on the last day of the Olympics. It's the last track and field event. And often the last event, but there are occasionally due to scheduling conflicts and stuff there might be one that goes afterwards, but traditionally it's the last event of the modern Olympics. And in 1904

when the Olympics were in St. Louis in America, that is the first time that they had the marathon. And it also tied in with that year's World Fair. Okay. So the World Fair was just, Dubai one's still kind of planned, right? That's called like

an expo now. Yeah. And you go along and it's like a tourism situation and tell everybody about your country and trade and exports and everything. Yeah, come to New Zealand, we've got bungee jumping and lambs. It kind of feels like since the internet, they're a little bit pointless.

Yeah, really. Because you can find out all that stuff about New Zealand because before you had to go to an encyclopedia and the minute they were printed, they were out of date. But now there's all these modern ways of communication. But they were having the World Fair 1904, the Olympic Games as well.

And it was the first time that the marathon was run at the Olympics. Previously, there had been like the Boston Marathon. So some of the people went that had done well in the Boston Marathon, but they needed to thicken out the field. So an American called Fred Laws, he joined the field. He had a job during the day as a bricklayer and had done a special five-mile race. And they said, you're pretty good at running five miles.

Why don't you try a whole marathon? And he's like, well, I got nothing else doing. I'll take a week off work. Also, there were 10 Greeks in the field, none of which had ever run a marathon. But of course, ancient Greek was when the marathon originated. So they were like, chuck some Greeks in the mix. Two men from a tribe in South Africa

that were there for the South African World Fair exhibit. They ran bare feet in traditional South African tribesmen attire. They were even tried to coerce into trying to carry a spear for a little bit of authentic feel. Oh, my God. Wild. Yeah, and a Frenchman joined the line-up. He turned up in a beret, a long-sleeved shirt, dark pants,

and a pair of street shoes. And they said, you're not going to be able to run in the long pants. So someone found a pair of scissors and they cut them off at the knee. Oh, the pants are the problem, not the street shoes. Street shoes, the long white shirt, the fact that this guy had never run before but just sort of give it a go. And then they started the race. Well, it was an absolute catastrophe from start to end.

That actually put large amounts of cracked stone on the path they were running on, just to see how they would deal with kind of like a cross-country feel to the marathon. It wasn't a flat. It was also dirt and it was the middle of summer. So it was super dusty. Oh, my God. It wasn't a flat. It was also dirt and it was the middle of summer, so it was super dusty. One man collapsed and actually had bleeding lungs and a dust-coated esophagus and ripped stomach lining. When he was finally taken away,

they said if he had persisted, he definitely would have bled to death. Another man stopped, vomited up, nothing, as they said, other than dust, and gave up running. One of the South African participants was chased a mile off course by wild dogs and not seen again for the rest of the day.

The guy who you'll remember was wearing street shoes, the cut-off pants, and the billowing shirt. He would stop and talk to people in broken English. On one occasion, he stopped at a car and the occupants were eating peaches. He asked for one. They said no. He grabbed two and ran away. They chased him for a little while.

And he then stopped at an orchard and had some apples, which turned out to be rotten, which caused him to have stomach cramps, diarrhea, lay down and take a nap. Now, another man called Sam at this stage in the lead started experiencing severe cramping. He slowly went to a walk and then ended up stopping. And then you might remember the bricklayer, Laws? Well, he got stitched and cramp and stopped. So he waved down a car and jumped in the car.

This first marathon ever at the Olympics is going really well. Yeah. So another one of the favourites, he was begging for a drink, but part of the deal was they wanted to see how well people could run when being deprived of hydration as well. This is a little bit of a test. Seven miles from the finish, he was given a concoction of

striachine and egg whites. I'm saying striachine wrong, but if you are in any sort of performance sports, you'll know that that is a performance-enhancing drug, which was banned pretty quick. Next time he said, I need a drink but I can't do egg whites. So they gave him a flask of French brandy and put some more of that performance enhancing drug in it.

Wow. Yeah, after 11 miles riding in the car, Law said, I think I can carry on from here. I'll keep running. And he was the first to cross the finish line. Now it was at that stage that someone said I saw that guy in a car

and he was like ha ha too late I've got the medal around my neck and they were like no it's not too late give us that medal back

he's like oh well it was worth a try I've got to go back and lay some bricks. It just sounds like you have an episode of Drunk History where you're reading

this would be a phenomenal it may even be an episode of Drunk History because it reads This would be a phenomenal, it may even be an episode of Drunk History because it reads so much like it. You might remember the guy that was given the brandy and the drugs and the egg whites. He had stopped at the stage and then someone started yelling down the course, tell Hicks that the guy got a ride in the car

and it got yelled down. And so they said, Hicks, you could still win this. And so he's like, oh God, I can't, I'm too thirsty., Hicks, you could still win this. And so he was like, oh, God, I can't. I'm too thirsty. They're like, you know what you need. This time we're going to give you brandy, stretch nine and egg whites. And he was like, oh, my God.

And then off he went. And he kept running. It was at that stage that the drugs caused hallucination. And he believed he had only just started the marathon. He begged for something to eat. He begged to lie down. He begged even for more brandy. But they said, no, you can only have these

two egg whites. He walked up the last two hills. He did that thing running down the hill where you're in no control of your body and you're running too fast. And then he crossed the finish line and he was declared the winner. It took four doctors then after for an hour constantly working on him

to make sure he wasn't going to die. Oh, my God. Because he was so close to an overdose. What was his time? Does he have a time? Not officially even recorded. Wow. What a wild story.

That needs to be a movie. I know. That would be a great movie. So many characters. What happened to the guy that got chased by the wild dogs? Is he okay? Did he come back? And why did they only target him?

If it had to spare, this wouldn't have been a problem. He could have fended them off. Wow. So today's fact of the day is the 1904 Olympic marathon and the first appearance of the marathon at the modern Olympic Games was an absolute hot mess. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, there's bad news. The study's found bad news if you watch a lot of true crime shows and American crime dramas. I'm just thinking we just finished Doctor Death. That counts based on a true story? Yeah.

That's about a doctor that was useless slash psychotic. Yeah. A terrible mix for a doctor. A terrible mix. Killed and maimed as patients. Empathetic and thorough is what you want from your doctor. You don't want psychotic and useless. That's good, and it's got Pacey.

Joshua Jackson. Joshua Jackson in it. Alec Baldwin and that other guy. Christian Slater. Christian Slater. That's one. Yeah, TVNZ On Demand. That's a good true crime.

That's probably my last true crime. Well, researchers in Vienna, Austria, have found that binging television crime dramas can alter the audience's views on real world, perception of the real world. And especially because apparently they zoned in on people's intake of the US way things are done. Like, for example, the death penalty.

So they ask people in Austria, they're like, how many people do you think are on death row in Austria? And how many people do you think are killed? Right. Different judicial systems.

And they haven't had death row or the death penalty since 1968. But people in Austria didn't know that. People didn't know that because they watched so much. How many people did they think were on death row in Austria? Did they give you an actual number? They didn't answer, but a lot of people did answer.

Right. Yeah. But we know we don't have death row in New Zealand. Well, see, we do, but then there must be people out there because they watch shows. So much American. So much American that it alters their actual perception.

Yeah, but that's kind of what they zoned in on. They didn't go too much more into anything else. It is quite creepy that we like to watch these shows. You think the intake of like uptake of podcasts, like true crime podcasts, have been huge? What kind of show is it?

They say the Olympics being televised and so many people watching it is more people want to try all these different sports. So you're saying that all these people are going to want to try all these different crimes. I mean, one gets you a gold medal, the other you know. Gets you prison.

Oh. Very different experiences. Unless you're really good at it. Well, that's the thing. You've got to aim to excel In both those Don't you Yeah If you want to get anywhere Yeah

You're not going to get To the Olympics If you're rubbish And you're not going to Get to go free If you're rubbish ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan From the Facebook page

Aotearoa Kai Gatherers Somebody said Try this It's pretty good Now I'll describe the picture. There's vanilla ice cream. French vanilla, because it's got a slight yellowy. It's not like a white vanilla.

French vanilla. Broken up super wines or one of those real plain biscuits. Which in itself, that sounds really like a yum but a texture addition to a plain ice cream, plain biscuits. It's like making cookies and cream, isn't it, yourself? Yeah, and then on top of that,

it looks like some sort of caramel sauce. It's not caramel sauce, ladies and gentlemen. It's kinna. Sea urchin. New Zealand sea urchin. I don't know about this, Mel. I have never had kinna, so I don't know that I can judge.

It's one of those ones, if I see it on a menu, very rare that you do. Are they the one in the prickly? Yeah, like a urchin. Yeah, okay. Hard to get into, but. Maybe I have as a kid. Yeah. I can't remember.

I had it as a kid. Real rich. I remember it not being like, it wasn't like mussels. It didn't necessarily, it might favour a savoury dish, but not necessarily like... You could only have that savoury. Right. You probably could have a sweet one.

It has a rich and kind of sweet taste. Yeah, it's one of my foods that I put under the gout umbrella. I want to eat lots of it. Does it not have a seafood-y flavour? Because I'm just imagining putting something seafood-y on. Because I'm just imagining putting something seafood-y on my ice cream.

But then you have salted caramel, which is sweet but also salty. Salted caramel and seafood taste different. But it's got the salty element to it and Kim is not like... See, I don't know if I'd say no just to trying a spoonful, just because

it might be amazing. It could be so good. But what are people saying on this page? Like, they're obviously putting it out there saying, this is great. So a lot of people saying I wouldn't waste my kinna like that. I mean, I wouldn't not try it, but I personally, if I had kinna, I would, yeah, probably just crack the shell open. Don't do that ever again, please.

Please never do that in front of us. You've got to get your tongue in the canner. Because it's a deep shell. You've got to open her up so that the spikes don't become a problem because there's a sea urchin, right? And then just... Someone either said you're hapu or stoned, which again is a great suggestion.

And that's how some of the world's greatest recipes were born. Do you guys watch MasterChef? No. Yes, okay, yeah. So when Sade's dad was staying with us, he was recently unwell, but he stayed with us for a bit. They started watching MasterChef, so everybody in the house is addicted. Even the kids love MasterChef.

Yeah, right. Last night, the dude made a Vietnamese pork Wellington. Now, if you're familiar with the beef Wellington, it's like a fillet of beef with like a pastry cover and it comes in. He made a pork Wellington that outside of the short crust, he had crackling. Pork crackling is like the final layer.

What is it? Is it latiste? Am I saying that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A latiste pork. Oh, my God. And I was watching it and I was like, I must have it.

And so I looked up the recipe. A, I'm not nearly capable enough to do it. It was a 100-step recipe. Oh, no. So inside it had the crackling, then like the shortcut pastry, great pastry, and then underneath that it had like a pork loin, but then it had like bologna. You've lost the vegetarians and vegans.

No, there was nothing in it for them. It was just like 12 different sorts of meats. I just heard that. If anybody else saw that, it was an absolute goddamn masterpiece. And then he cut it open in the cross. And then what did you end up having for dinner? Oh, no, we actually just shot and cooked this lovely pasta dish. Oh, okay.

But that was after dinner and I was hungry again.