ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th December 2020

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

Kangaroo Attack  11 Minutes of Exercise  Top 6: Carparks  Community Notices  Fletch has Mail!  James Blunt!  Fishy Tank Season 2 Finale!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fleeche Warner Megan. The podcast.

Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleeche Warner Megan. Megan looking like she went to the work Christmas party last night, but didn't. I feel hungover. I feel like I went and had some bevies, but I did not. No. Just as in a pregnancy hangover. I feel like I went and had some bevies but I did not No Just is it a pregnancy hangover?

Yeah Have I got a sympathy hangover for everyone else? Maybe Yeah Right Vaughn, you mean? Oh, Vaughn didn't go to the Christmas party But I got drunk at home

People did ask me They said, is Vaughn coming? And I just I chortled And said, don't be silly He lives too far away. I saw a video and it was so loud. And there was people everywhere. It was very loud. If Vaughn lived across the road he wouldn't go.

I probably wouldn't live across the road, it's very noisy. Very noisy area, very busy, lots of hustle bustle. Friday, today on the show, I believe quarter to eight this morning, we're going to be talking to the one and only, and I'm super excited about this because I'm a big fan of his humour, James Blunt, who sings, You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

It's true. We're all great big fans. He has used lockdown to write a book, How to Be a Complete and Utter Blunt. And it's basically all of his tweets. Because if you don't know, he is... When I was on Twitter, he was one of my favourite people to follow. Very funny.

He'll just burn people. How many followers does he have? He was kind of like, yeah, one of the ones to follow. He also did this from Ibiza. I assume he did it all in Ibiza. That's where we're connected to when we talk to him via Zoom. So, you know. Why not, eh?

If you flick to page 76 and somebody says, every time I see James Blake, I think James Blunt. That's kind of like saying every time I eat cake, I think it's, and then swear word. Yeah, right. And then, you know, you might be thinking that's inappropriate, but he's an Ibiza, so don't, I'm missing a nice house.

He's still in a right, yeah. Very funny, man. So we're going to chat to him at quarter to eight this morning. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, Christchurch City Council are going to crack down on car parks that aren't car parks. I've got the top six signs.

The place you're parking your car is not an official park. Is it the first one, gravel? Like most of them? No, but that actually is the hallmark of an official park. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. Next though, a woman went on a run,

something bad happened and she's blaming her Sarah Jessica Parker perfume. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Straya. Straya. Everything wants to kill ya. And a woman, she was running on the outskirts, Beaconsfield, which is on the outskirts of Melbourne.

Okay. So she often goes for a run there, and she often sees kangaroos. Sees them, but they just keep to themselves. So she was going for a jog and she saw this one kangaroo that was by itself and it kept just edging a little bit closer.

She was like, what's going on here? Edging, I always considered it more of a hop. Hopping closer. Like edging's like your side of the lap of somebody. I don't know. hopping closer. Like edgings, like, you know, you sidle up to somebody. Do they do a little? I don't know.

No, they hop, don't they? Yeah, they hop. Even if it's just like a little bit, they use their tail and they just kind of like

rock forward and backward on it. Terrifying. Yeah. Then when it jumped a couple of fences to get closer to her, she's like, hey,

my God, what's happening here? Hey, my God. So, she's like, hey, my God, what's happening here? Hey, my God. So she was like, okay, this kangaroo's coming for me and it's not going to stop. And then she felt a thump on her back. She fell to the ground, as you'd expect,

and the kangaroo was standing over her. Oh, no. She was like, this guy's going to claw me to death. This is it. And then she stayed on the ground, slowly got up and walked away. But the kangaroo followed her.

She threw some rocks at it. And that gave her enough time to like run off to a house. Right. But the kangaroo didn't leave her alone and was hanging out in the driveway of the front yard. It was just like, I like you or I don't like you. Yeah. So all the residents came out of the neighbourhood and scared it away. But it wouldn't leave her alone.

It was just hanging around. It was literally like a horror movie, like birds, but this one's a kangaroo. Yeah, right. She was asked, the local ranger was trying to talk to her, being like, what did you do? Yeah. Like, break down, you know, did you? Well, that's victim shaming. What did you do?

Oh, I was going for a run. It's a tree. True. Like, different to every other time when you're running through, like, where they are. This one really hunted her down. And they've broken it down to her Sarah Jessica Parker perfume. Wow. How would we?

The kangaroo liked it or disliked the perfume? They think it was attracted to it. Oh, okay. Right. Who puts perfume on before they go for a run? Yeah, it's like, or is that remnants? I put perfume on to go anywhere. Would you?

Yeah. And if you're going for a walk, you'd perfume pre-walk. Yeah, like I have ones where I'm like, oh, that's my everyday just random one. Because it's just like a nice fragrance. You know, you want to smell nice when you leave the house. But it's a waste because then you get home and you've got to have a shower. You just wash it all off. That is what everyone said though.

Why would you put perfume on to go for a run? She obviously put deodorant on and then a wee fragrance. But yeah, the kangaroo Was it Syracuse Capaca Lovely? It doesn't specify. Okay, I'm just looking at Lovely. It's main accords on the nose are woody and musky. Okay. And then

lavender, powdery, aromatic, citrus, fresh, spicy, patchouli. Patchouli? Oh, okay. Floral and warm spicy. Those are the notes on the nose. Maybe they need a disclaimer. May attract kangaroos.

Kangaroos? It might be the patchouli that they're attracted to. Yeah. Do they have an incredible sense of smell? Yeah, because it sounded like it was far enough away and was like. But then you get a bit of a breeze. You're getting the Sarah Jessica Parker in the wind. Yeah, because it sounded like it was far enough away and was like But then you get a bit of a breeze. You're getting the Sarah Jessica Parker in the wind. Yeah.

Can you imagine a bloody kangaroo in the farmer's perfume section? We're going bloody crazy. Booting things down. Sniffling it all. Spraying it on those little test bits of paper. I'll take that. Take that home. Put it in the pouch.

Yeah, carry it home for later. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. I believe the following is a story that started as a tweet a journalist saw online and developed into a story that really is nothing too much, really. But we'll talk about it anyway. Yeah, go on. An Australian, well, like a New Zealand man in Australia, in Queensland, saw at his local supermarket blocks

of Whittaker's chocolate for $2.95. $2.95. Now, it's on special. Now, it says on the, I can see the special tag, better than half price. And behind it, I can see the $7.20 that the Whittakers normally retails for in Australia. So that's a bit expensive.

Yeah. It's more expensive than here. Very expensive, because that's Australian dollars, right? Yes. And our dollar's pretty good against the Australian right now. Yeah, but he said, bloody shocked. I've never seen Whittakers this cheap in New Zealand, and I never imagined they'd be this cheap overseas with all the costs of shipping.

It's outrageous how Kiwis are ripped off in our own country for products made here. But of course, in Australia, it normally retails for more than here anyway. Way more. It's a half-price special. I just wanted to use my XE currency app, but I haven't used it for so long.

It's having to do that thing where it's like, we better just reinstall this for your sweetheart. I'm like, oh my God. Let's do an update, yeah. Thanks, Darl. Yeah. Whittaker's have commented saying that the recommended price in Australia

is actually slightly higher than it is in New Zealand. So Kiwis would usually get the better deal. $6 is the recommended retail price in Australia and $5.29 in New Zealand. So what's that? Is that six Australian dollars? Yeah. So what's that? Like $5.29 in New Zealand. So is that six Australian dollars? Yeah. So what's that, like $6.50?

Although the Woolworths regular price in Australia is $7.95, $8.30 in New Zealand. Right. And in New Zealand, obviously, you know, it can be on special and way cheaper than that. Well, good. I'm glad they actually pay more. So they'll be paying, yeah, $6.31 in the current exchange rate. Jeez, we're doing $95 against Australia. Yeah, I'm so close. I said $6.50. I'm pretty they actually pay more. So they'll be paying $6.31 in the current exchange rate.

Jeez, we're doing 95 against Australia. I was so close. I said 650. I'm pretty, yeah. You know your shopping currency conversions. I know my exchange rates. But if I lived in Australia and I had a whiff of this Whittaker's chocolate and I'd never tried it before, that would be enough to sway me

because Australian chocolate's rubbish. It's like when drug dealers give you the first one real cheap. Yeah. And then you get them hooked in and then you're going back and you're spending $7 on your block, aren't you? Right. Are you still installing the app? No, no, no, I've updated

the app. Yeah, right. Now what? I don't know, mate. You're going to only file on specials 310 New Zealand. Yeah. No, I mean like after this WeChat, what are you going to use that for? Oh, I'm probably not going to. It'll probably need to be reinstalled next time I use it as well. Although I do have to buy my Australian niece's Christmas presents.

So I'll probably use it to see how expensive those are. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay, you're just going to buy them online in Australia and have them sent. Yep. Not even pay for the wrapping. Let, right. Yeah. Okay, you're just going to buy them online in Australia and have them sent. Yep. Not even pay for the wrapping. Let their mum do that. Cheap, but I like it.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So a lot of people are sitting for hours at work now. It's just the nature of the job. You've got an office job. You've got to try and remember to get up and move around and they say you're supposed to get half an hour, 35 minutes a day of exercise.

But some people find that quite hard. There's a new study, and this is a lot of people, around 50,000 people, and it was done for a while, and it has been published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine. So that all sounds very legit. Oh, okay. They put trackers, like little exercise monitors, on all these people and tracked how much physical activity they did

compared with how much sitting. Like an Apple Watch? Yep. Do you want to know my heart rate? Not really. I'm just finding out. Okay. What's your heart rate at the moment?

It's just, like, it's just, I don't think I've, my heart hasn't bet enough times today to register a resting heart rate. Oh, my God. Are you okay? Are you dying? Mine's 60. Cool. It's real low, eh?

Currently, 65. Oh, okay. Ah! What is it now? Did you get a fright? 69. Yes! Nice. There we go, okay. Ah! What is it now? Did you get a fright? 69. Yes! Nice.

There we go, nice. So people who were averaging sitting around 10 hours a day, who barely moved, exercised moderately, they had obviously quite a high death rate. So the researchers checked death registries for about a decade after people had joined these studies. So this is comprehensive. Yeah. And so they found that obviously sitting a lot is not good for your health. No. But to counter this, they then checked people who moved moderately.

So people who moved for about 11 minutes a day were significantly less likely to have died prematurely than those who moved less. Only 11? Only 11 minutes. Like that's walking from your car to the office or to get sushi at lunch. Yeah. Just parking a little bit further away. Yeah.

Or walking to get your lunch. I mean, it's not as good as half an hour a day, but your risk drops significantly than those who didn't walk at all. Who's not even doing 11 minutes a day, but your risk drops significantly than those who didn't walk at all. Who's not even doing 11 minutes a day by accident? Do you have to do in one succession? Because if you walk into your car and then you

say, I'm going for a walk. Even just maybe before dinner, go for a stroll around the block. That's quite powerful, that study, isn't it? Yeah. It's quite a powerful finding, because even if you went for half an hour every day, that's more than 11 minutes.

And it was tens of thousands of people, and then they went back and studied the death rate decades later. Seems quite... So 11 minutes a day is all you need, although getting more is better, of course. Any word on like what if you had biscuits and stuff? Biscuits, chocolate and wine, also really good for you. Oh, great, great. That's all I need to hear. For you on at Christmas time. Did you just add that into the end of that survey?

Yeah, I did. It sounded like you did, okay. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. I've got the Top Six today. The Top Six signs your car park in Christchurch isn't an official car park.

Well, yeah, so apparently 120 car park sites within Christchurch's central city could be potentially non-compliant and at risk of escalated enforcement action from the council. Because they don't have like a resource or consent. So if people, if landowners have a car park, they're given 90 days to either cease the operation or apply for a resource consent.

Who knew? Who knew? So imagine if you got a ticket at one of those car parks and it wasn't consented. Could you then fight it? Oh, 100%. You've been led to believe it is. It's pretty easy to get out of a ticket out of a car park.

Yeah, right. If you've got a reasonable excuse. But what is extended, what did you call it? Enforcement. That sounds like towing even rather than a ticket. No, I think that they can find the landowners maybe or do something to the landowners.

Interesting. Wow. But I mean, that's no surprise to anybody that's wanted to find a car park in Central Christchurch. Yeah. So a lot of gravel pits.

Yeah. Well, these are the top six signs your car park isn't an official car park. Number six, the paint outlines are finger painted on. You can tell because they're really thin. Yeah.

Really finger painted seems to be quite a thin. You'd be lucky to even find a line in some of those car parks. I know. That's probably because number five on the list of the top six signs your car park isn't an official car park, the lines will wash away when it rains. Yeah. Because they might have been chalked on. Yeah. Because they might have been chalked on, which is one grade easier to wash off than finger

paint. Number four on the list of the top six signs your car park isn't an official car park. It's someone's lawn and they're yelling at you to get off their lawn and why is your car on my lawn? That's a fair sign that it's not an official car park. Number three on the list of the top six signs your Christchurch car park isn't an official car park. You've parked inside the cathedral. Good luck.

How did you get in there, you silly billy? Good luck getting out. I tell you what, good luck to them to own you out as well. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six signs your car park isn't an official car park in Christchurch. It's three foot underwater. You've parked in someone's paddling pool. You know those square paddling pools that are like 20 bucks.

They could look like a park. Yeah. Or not. And number one on the list of the top six signs your car park in Christchurch isn't an official car park. It has slides and a swing in it. You've confused a car park with a play park. Oh, yeah. And that happens to the best of us.

Just try to reverse out without hitting the flying fox. That is today's top six. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Me and Andy P, my husband, actually saw this on TikTok a couple of days ago. And we watched it a couple of times. He was convinced it was fake, but he thinks everything on TikTok's fake. He's like, no, that's fake.

Approach things very cynically. It's got to be very convincing. But, well, I can tell you right off the bat, it's not fake. Oh, it's not the chewing gum in the woman's hair. That was fake. Yeah. And the comb in the hair. Anything to do with hair on it's not fake. Oh, it's not the chewing gum in the woman's hair. That was fake. Yeah. And the comb in the hair. Anything to do with hair on a plane's fake.

No. A bit more serious than that. So a woman, she was doing a dance. She was rehearsing or doing a dance for TikTok and she was filming it. Yep. And that's when you kind of hear a voice mutter through the curtains.

Now, it says that he entered through the door, but it looks like he's entered through the window when you watch the TikTok. Right. She doesn't know who this guy is. You listen to this and tell me if you think this is fake. What's up? Off. Who are you? Who are you? Please get off. Please get out. No, please get out. Yes. Who are you? Please get out of my apartment right now. Please get out of my apartment right now. Get out.

Get out. Wow. That's real. You can hear her voice. And there is more. And she's puffing. And then one of her neighbors opens the door and she says, can I come in? But he says to her, am I your friend?

And she says, no. That's what he's muttering in the background. Now, it's not fake because they've actually tracked down this guy and he's been arrested. He was arrested on two counts of burglary, second degree assault, stalking and malicious destruction of property. For other stuff? For other stuff. Right, that didn't happen at her apartment.

No. Luckily. Wow. But she caught all that on her phone while rehearsing a TikTok dance. Creepy. So lucky. But yeah, I feel creeped out now. I prefer to think that was fake.

But if you've seen it, it's not fake. In the video when she goes into the stairwell to go into her neighbour's place, so she's definitely not on the ground floor. No. So he scaled the outside of the building. That's a window, right? Yeah, it looks like it. Or a balcony.

So he scaled up the side of it. Oh, so creepy. Just maybe seeing the open door or something. So creepy. Yeah. Get a fly screen this summer. Because they stop burglars. Keep mozzies out and bad guys.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Does everybody know that the Venga Boys have had like multiple songs? Yeah, Vaughan's just gone through their back catalogue. Reeling at the fact that the Venga Boys had more than one song. He thought every song was melded into one. I thought Boom Boom Boom was

the party bus song. No. The Vengaboys bus song. I've never heard the Ibiza song. And Up and Down was another song they had. We're zooming to Ibiza to talk to James Blunt. And I think at 8 o'clock, my pick for Friday Flashback will be the Ibiza Vengaboys song.

Yeah. But if you're going to be true to the Vengaboys, you have to say Ibiza. Ibiza. Going to Ib song. Yeah. But if you're going to be true to the Venga Boys, you have to say Ibiza. Ibiza. Going to Ibiza. Yeah. This is why people in California and America get so riled up about people like the Kardashians and famous people having parties and stuff.

Because this couple had postponed their wedding three times due to COVID. And then on the fourth time, she had to, the bride, took a test because she was not feeling well. Okay. So they were about to get married again. They were going to do it very small. They had 10 guests. They'd changed it all up. So they were like, okay, well, social distance, do all the right things. But she tested positive for COVID on the fourth attempt at their wedding. So instead of postponing it again, they decide to do it anyway because their marriage license was about to expire.

And so they held the wedding and she stood through a window to get married to her partner. Yeah. And they made it look pretty romantic. They made it look a bit like Romeo and Juliet. So she is upstairs. Upstairs. It's like a, not very high. Okay.

Up the first level of the house and he is downstairs and they spoke to each other like that. Why don't they just wait? I mean, I know they've put it off. Well, it's the fourth time. So that's like the whole year they've been like, okay, go time. Okay, no.

Okay, go time. It's just. Yeah. Just get it done. They have quite cute photos where it does look like Romeo and Juliet and she's up on the balcony or up in the second window wearing a dress and stuff. And he's like made a white rope of flowers that connects the two of them.

Right. But yeah, they thought COVID be damned. She's got COVID in this photo. And they did the wedding anyway. So she didn't even wait until she didn't have COVID anymore. No. So she was fairly asymptomatic. She tested positive three days before the wedding.

And she said, look, everyone else around me is negative. So like our marriage expires in a couple of days. What am I to do? So they got married. They will have those mementos of 2020 forever. Wow. US reporting its highest one day COVID-19 death tally, 2,800 on Wednesday. They reckon even if the vaccine gets in there,

it's going to be a long time before America recovers. Do you think people are just getting silly because there's a vaccine? They're like, oh. No, it's all off the back of all the Thanksgiving travel and everything that happened. Yeah, like in the next couple of weeks, it'll, sadly. Yeah, before that, like the death toll, the people who are dying of it got it, you know, like the death toll, the people who have had it, who are dying of it,

got it, you know, maybe a month ago. So it would have been in all of those final Trump rallies and then people travelling, all the celebrations and commiserations of the election and then dragging it home and then get, yeah, it's horrible. Yeah, it is horrible, but it's stories like that that make you feel really grateful for where we are. Totally.

11 past seven next on the show, community notices, all the weird and wacky, wonderful things that you see on your local Facebook pages, the buy sale pages, the community groups. Yeah, we've got a flat listing that might be for you. Oh, okay. If you're into mushroom rice risotto. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Now, if you see anything pop up on the pages that you follow, screenshot it, send it to us. Get it on in.

If it's funny. Yeah, we've got a Facebook page. We're cool. We're hip. We were until you said that. We're FMZM on Facebook. If you've not already joined us there, oh, please do.

And also send us your community notices. It's a segment of the show for you, by you. Yeah, it's a people segment. Oh show for you, by you. Yeah, it's a people segment. Yeah, that's really good. That really felt good. Let's go to the

Franklin Grapevine where our Franklin Grapevine member, Lucy Swallow, has a question. Okay. Looking for advice. Hmm.

That's this emoji. Hmm. Beardstroke. What is the best thing to put in a slingshot to fire at shit kids? Not wanting to injure them badly, but just a good firm shock to get my point across. Now what, at this stage, pause,

do you think that these kids described by Lucy Swallow as shit kids have done? Something on the front lawn or they're playing on the front lawn, smashed a ball into the window. Ball over the fence. Ball over the fence. I have a no junk mail sign on my mailbox, but the little bastards just keep putting them in.

She's going to slingshot the circular kids. Circular kids could get fined. You get big fines. Do you? For putting it in no junk mail. Is it like littering? Well, no, it's like spamming someone that's not signed up to your mailing list or something.

But it gets better. I growled at them once about putting circulars in my mailbox, and the next day there were five countdown papers with a picture of a penis drawn on the front of them. Okay, I like these kids. They sound fun. Also, how much trouble can I get in for slingshotting kids? This sounds like a bit of cute back and forth, actually.

This is really good stuff. It's good stuff. I feel like we definitely need a follow-up. Whose side are we on now that there's been a penis drawn on the countdown circuit? I'm on the kids' side. Yeah, same. Although- I'm absolutely chaotic neutral.

I'm in the middle of it. I don't have a team. You know what she should do? Set up a sprinkler or a hose in the letterbox, and when they put it in, turn it on. She can turn it on and squirt them in their face. Because water's harmless. It's just water.

Unless you're candy floss. That's your mortal enemy. If the children are made of candy floss, their parents are just going to get a slightly pink-tinged set of clothes back, aren't they? Yes, exactly. Okay. Well, from the Franklin... I'll never forget the day I was at the A& clothes back, aren't they? Yes, exactly. Okay. Well, from the Franklin...

I'll never forget the day I was at the AMP show and it rained on my candy floss. Oh. Disappears right in front of you. And there's that video of, is it a raccoon or an otter eating candy floss and it dips it in the water and it all just disappears and it freaks out. It's like, what happened to my candy floss?

What happened? What happened to my candy floss? To the Christchurch Buy, Sell and Trade Anything page, Corey has a listing for a flat. Calling all nymphos and weirdos, we want you. Successful applicants must be 420 slash kink friendly, female or couple. If you're going to freak out in a bad way

when you walk in on a massive mushroom-fuelled orgy, don't apply. Wow. Okay. Honesty. I don't. I appreciate the honesty, but sometimes you need a good night's sleep.

Yeah. Well, no, that doesn't mean that we're having a mushroom-fuelled orgy every night. Oh, yeah. Have you ever heard a quiet orgy? I've never heard an orgy. Me neither. But I imagine just with that many people, even if everybody's whispering, there's a hum to it.

Even if everybody's whispering, there's a hum, surely. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. As our show's senior orgy correspondent, we'll have to take your word for it. Don't say that when I've just taken a mouthful of coffee. Taken a mouthful of what? Of orgy.

Senior orgy correspondence Moving along Rent includes power and unlimited gigabit internet Wi-Fi. A weekly cleaner will make sure the toilet and bathroom are always up to scruff. Our group consists of two males and one female. Pets negotiable. No more dogs. My dog

is enough and super friendly. Vegan and vegetarians are extra welcome You'll know if this is your scene. Let's not turn this into a meme. Thanks to all the zen and chill folk out there.

Have an amazing day. Good on them. That's honest. They sound very nice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I just don't know

if I'm ready for that like when you come home from work. Well, no, you're all vanilla, vanilla Papadopoulos over there. No, I wouldn't,

I wouldn't like that flat. I like a lot of peace and quiet. You get off from work and you're like, oh, I'm just going to stretch my legs and play some PlayStation. You walk into the lounge, I wouldn't like that flat. I like a lot of peace and quiet. You get out from work and you're like, oh, I'm just going to stretch my legs and play some PlayStation. You walk into the lounge, you can't play PlayStation because someone's butt is blocking your screen.

And it's one of the many butts on display in the lounge full of an orgy. Back to Franklin Grapevine, where the owner of Kittia's Thai Massage has advertised their new hours and prices. Deep tissue, 30 minutes, $45. Okay. 120 minutes, 35. Hot coconut

oil massage, that's right up my alley. $85 for 60 minutes of that. Head and shoulder, pregnancy massage, foot reflexology, and the owner has also put, we have so many people asking for happy endings, no happy endings. They have so many people asking. That's so sad they have to say that.

I know. I was like blown away and people in the community are like, it would never have occurred to me to go to the local Thai massage place, which is located in the main street. Yeah. In the mall. No. In the mall, they pull one of those like paper thin curtains.

You're like, go one of those happy endings. Sir, we're in Westfield. If you want a happy ending, you're going to have to go to the food court and get a free upsize on your combo. And that only runs on Tuesdays. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to us.

FVM, ZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You know, I got my finger on the pulse of the sales But I hit it hard in the Black Friday sales To get Christmas shopping done They're done now eh? Yeah mostly yeah But consumer spending

Retail sales were up 26% On last year in November So I wasn't the only one 15% electronic spending And up 20% recreational spending. So that means going out like walkies to the malls physically. So spending is up, but Boxing Day sales might not be very good this year. Why?

So it's because we might not have the stock. They've been saying for a long time that you need to get in early. And there's issues because of COVID, less flights come in. And so it's all coming in on ships and there's a backlog. So apparently all the shipping lines have been delayed. Some of them have been held back. Some ships have been skipping New Zealand altogether to catch up on schedules. Rude.

I know. Do they just push the containers off as they go past? They put a catch up on schedules. Rude. I know. Do they just push the containers off of us, they go past? They put a little boy on them. Yeah. So I did go to a shop and they physically said to me, if you want something, get it now, because we just can't get in the stock that we need and some things they've sold out of already.

And it's like people renovating their homes. Couches are taking some places months because they're not out of already. And it's like people renovating their homes. Like couches are taking some places months because they're not coming from overseas. Kitchen appliances in some aspects. So, I mean, you could potentially still buy them, but you'll have a wait. So they will be selling, there will be sales, but I mean, you've got to get in super quick

because they just won't have the inventory. There might be limited stock. And limited discounts because yeah they only have so much to sell anyway. We're just going to go into stores in January and it's just going to be half empty. Maybe. But then there's the month for it. No one does too much

shopping in January because it's after all the Christmas period right? Just go to the beach and chill. Yeah. Yeah. Weather's good. So if you're looking for something specific for Christmas just get in January. Because it's after all the Christmas period, right? Just go to the beach and chill. Yeah, yeah. Weather's good. So if you're looking for something specific for Christmas, just get in early. But what does that mean? If you get a voucher or something for Christmas or cash,

do you reckon you're better to wait? Yeah, potentially. Or I guess you could still go Boxing Day shopping, but have low expectations. Or do that thing that happens to me every time I get given cash for like my birthday or Christmas and oh, that's to go towards

insert thing you wanted to buy here and you just end up spending it on like booze and treats. Your mum's like, did you buy that thing yet? And I'm like,

yep, yep. Yep, definitely did. Then you have to go buy it out of your own pocket because you spend all the money on booze and treats. Yeah. Just to make sure

that you're not disappointing anybody. Fleshforn and sure that you're not disappointing anybody. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. I think we've lost Megan to a behind the scenes of Harry Styles Golden, which has just been released. Came out an hour ago. You're welcome.

Yeah. See you guys later. What's the vibe of this video? He had so many outfits and stuff that didn't make the cut, and it's on the Amalfi Coast Coast and there's more swimming in it. It's not that I wanted to sound creepy, but there's lots of different. There was a massive flower hat that didn't make the cut. Right.

It's a whole new video. The person that doesn't like, wants manly men to come back won't appreciate this as much as I do. No. Oh, flowery hats, not masculine in there. No. Damn it. Because my plan to look like the manliest man this year in my summer floral hat. Got to work this morning and there was a piece of old school mail

waiting for Fletch, an envelope with some stamps on it. Or was it a prepaid envelope? No, it's one of those prepaid postage included envelopes. Yeah, yeah. So if you bought one of those ages ago, this would have been a solid investment. Because if you had bought those when postage was like 45 cents, and then you just sat on a box of them until now, you'd be able to sell them on for $1.40.

That's a dollar profit per envelope. Is that how much a litre costs to send? Yeah, I had to send a litre to get maternity leave to the government. And you had to put stamps on it. I had no idea. I had to put like four or five of my 45 cents stamps on there. You have stamps?

Because that was the last time I sent a letter. Wow. I haven't heard from them. I do not know that they've got it. Chloe Swarbrick. That's a big footprint on maternity leave requests. Because you should be able to email the government. You'd think so.

I haven't heard from them, so I don't know that it actually got there. But I put on like 30 cents extra to make sure. Right, okay. Me too. The only stamps I could find were like didn't add up to the right amount. So I just like filled up pretty much the right half of the envelope with stamps and just hoped for the best. Yeah.

But you got a... Well, that's almost cheap at the same price as currying. Getting one of those little postage. But you can't curry, Riff. Vintage. Oh, can't you? What is it, power boxes or private bags you can't curry to? Yeah, I don't know.

That's a whole thing. Vaughan is very jealous because I got this personal mail address just to me at ZM. Fletch at ZM. ZM headquarters, private bag 92198. Wow, they went for the private bag. We've got a private bag. I didn't even know that. 92198. Wow, they went for the private bag. We've got a private bag. And inside is a letter that says, Fletch, go get yourself a knife from New World,

smiley face from Bethany, and a whole sheet of stickers. Bethany? Bethany, I think you already had a full set. He just wanted more than one vegetable knife. Didn't you? You wanted more than one vegetable knife. Didn't you? You wanted one more than one vegetable knife. Why did she think you were deserving of these?

Because I said on air that I was collecting them. We're all collecting them. There's no need to be jealous. Hello, I put it on social media that I'm collecting them. But Bethany obviously thought I was the most deserving of a utility or a vegetable knife. She doesn't know you very well then, does she? You've got to double up on vegetable knives.

Double up. So thank you so much for that lovely mail. Old school mail. That's so cute. I don't get any mail these days. I actually can't believe she did that. That's quite the effort. Well, do you think she should have sent it to you?

Yeah, because I don't have the full set yet. Yeah, you've got the full set. You're just doubling down on vegetable knives. Only because they sent us a few knives and they were in Meghams away and we took them all home. What? Did you take them all home? No, they said they were sending you some.

Did they? No. I got like two. How many did you get? I got two. Same. Two. We got two.

No, Fletch is lying. Look at your face. Fletch, no. Bethany. Bethany. Bethany, please send me something. Well, she's already blown her bloody stickers on this guy. This is where you step in as a good friend and you're like,

oh, I've got all of the knives. You can have these stamps. Did you see that look on his face when you were like, you step in as a good friend and he was like, like when your dog looks at you confused, like your dog's like, walk. Good friend, he's like, no compute. No, not happening.

No, okay. Settling down on the vegetable line. Just go and scrounge in the bin at the supermarket and pick out someone's receipt that doesn't collect stamps. I see the guy at the self-service in New World yesterday, I keep forgetting to get the stamps. Like, that's what I said. And you know my cute face.

Yeah. You imagine this cute face going, I keep forgetting to get the stamps. And he's like, oh, well. Hey, turns out you're... Can't be that cute. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. He has written a book,

How to Be a Complete and Utter Blunt. And he is joining us from Ibiza via Zoom. Good morning, James Blunt. How are you guys doing? Very well. I was just commenting saying that it doesn't look very Christmassy at your house on the Zoom. Good morning, James Blunt. How are you guys doing? Very well. Very good. I was just commenting saying that it doesn't look very Christmasy at your house on the Zoom.

No. I guess we just, you know, we celebrate it a different way here in Spain. I'm in Spain and yeah, I hadn't thought about it. They've got Feliz Navidad in Spanish. They've got their own song. Yeah, they do.

I would have thought they would have been all about a bit of tinsel at least. I know. I mean, I tell you why I can put it down to this. We've had a lockdown, so I haven't had a chance to go and cut down a tree and, you know, and hang some elves.

I haven't found any elves. Right. Well, they should be in lockdown too. We don't need them dragging their own around the world. Now, let's talk about your book, James. This is how I would like to write a book. And I don't mean any offence by this, but this is basically all of your tweets printed in the book. Yeah.

Well, it's a diary, really. It's a diary of my... I've been on Twitter for 11 years. 11 years of misery and pain. I have been inflicting on other people. And I put in a diary form just so you kind of capture what it is like to be um uh generally abused on a daily basis um and uh and yeah and you know and I just basically tell the story of why we shouldn't be on Twitter at all and that book is very much

designed to only be read uh if you're sitting on the loo um given to people who are not here in the in the in the Northern Hemisphere. We've had some panic buying and lots of people haven't managed to get any loo roll. And so this very much makes up for that.

You can use it and tear out a page. And also for me, it's a way of getting back, you know, because I was on a world tour. I was touring the world and a government introduced a virus purely, I know, purely to stop me playing live. I know what a world tour. I was touring the world and a government introduced a virus purely,

I know, purely to stop me playing live. I know what they were doing. And I said, well, you can stop my live music, but I will still get my voice heard. So there. So you said you've been on Twitter for 11 years. How long were you on it? A, before the abuse started,

and B, before you just started firing back the zingers? Do you know what? The thing I had is, you know, I kind of, that song that you know of mine, my one song came out in 2006. And pretty much it was incredible how I was very lucky. I was selling to millions of people.

But with that kind of ubiquity, I got quite a lot of abuse um and that comes as a surprise and i never had a way of replying to it because i said things to journalists and they never put haha after my jokes very serious yeah so i struggled with the journalists and then they invented twitter uh and i it gave me a voice in fact my handle james blunt was already taken. I couldn't use it. So I had to call myself something different.

So I was Dirty Little Blunt. And I was really filthy. My label didn't know what I was doing. And then James Blunt became free. So I swapped my name to my real name. And then suddenly the record label saw what I was doing and they begged me not to do it anymore because they thought I was just being disgusting.

But people seem to like that. And, you know, here we go, putting a book out and trying to make money out of it now. Right. So at some stage, the tide turned and you think people were just mentioning you in tweets, hoping to get one of these replies. You know, I think it's kind of obvious when people are fishing for a reply. It's kind of obvious because if they put at my name then you know that they want me to read it it's the ones who don't the ones who just simply

write james blunt no at symbol you know they're the ones who try to have a sneaky little dig um and then i'm the stalker who appears out of nowhere saying yeah i'm i'm behind you so now that you're in lockdown have you had more time to work on the book's sequel? Like what's the, I'm imagining this is only going to fuel the fire. That is the product of my lockdown. Other than that, I've drunk a considerable amount. My mother-in-law has been living with us for 68 days, 11 hours and 36 minutes.

I spend a considerable amount of time in the forest just behind the house digging a shallow grave. So that's kind of spending my time. Right. Okay, okay, okay. That's worrying. I feel like you do know this conversation has been recorded and could be used against you.

Yeah, no, but this is New Zealand. No one, you know, it hear this. They're miles away. You guys won't dog me in and you'll understand as well. Yeah. No one's going to believe us anyway when we say it. All right. So how did you pick which ones to put in the book? Because I'm imagining this is only a small sample.

Are these your favorites or are there some that's languages just too much? Traditionally, with these kind of things, you just choose the best ones. And, yeah, you know, I just thought the ones that tell a story, for me, it was quite a moving thing to capture that and messages to Carrie Fisher and the moment she died. Spats I've had with, you know, politicians who say they want to get rid of musicians like me. And someone like Noel Gallagher, who always has something positive to say.

And so, yeah, it's just kind of collecting those experiences of 11 years. Wow. And as you say, perfect toilet reading because it's like you can just chuck a dog ear in that and come back to it at any stage, you know,

whether it's... Yeah, that's why you read it on the loo. And if you look, you read the very last line of the book, perhaps. Can you open the page? You read it,

not the dedication, there's a dedication at the back. Don't read that one. Read the very last line of the text. Go for that. Now wipe your bum

and get back in there. Love that. I think that really kind of sums it up. It really does. That sums it up. It's brilliant. Well, luckily we're out of lockdown, so we don't need toilet paper,

but a great Christmas present. James Blunt, how to be a complete and utter blunt. Thank you so much for joining us this morning, James. So nice to see you guys. Hope to see you soon. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

And fantastic news there for Santa. Granted the exemption. The isolation exemption. Yeah. So I was worried about him having to do 14 days at the jet park. Yeah. He doesn't have time to isolate. No.

I hope that he'll still be scanning in everywhere that he goes with the QR code. Well, yeah, I think if you're going to have Santa around, you probably should put up a QR code. Yeah. So we can scan it. Yeah. Definitely. Coming up on the show, Megan, you've got your baby shower this weekend.

I do. We'll talk about that. Preparation's underway. Well, I may be on Facebook, didn't I? And you've may be all week in person. You should be honoured because I've never been to a baby shower before.

This is going to be my first baby shower. Is it? Well, traditionally, traditionally, men don't attend, do they? Is it my first baby shower? Undoubtedly.

No, I went to something you... No, you had a baby thing that I went to. A birthday party? Oh, no, that was a birthday. That was a birthday. That's the thing about these... That's a baby thing. That's to? A birthday party? No, that was a birthday. That's the thing about these bloody babies. I just want to start having birthdays at one.

Annoying. I don't even know what's going on. I don't know why people want that. First birthday is more of a celebration of the parents reaching the anniversary. Well, we can talk about preparations for Megan's baby shower soon, but also on the way, we will announce the winner of Fish. We did it, yeah. Well, we can talk preparations for Megan's baby shower soon, but also on the way,

we will announce the winner of Fishy Tank Season 2, all thanks to Vodafone Business. We're going to give away a $5,000 major prize and we'll tell you and reveal our winner next on the show.

But it is Friday tradition. Friday Flashback. Flashback, Flashback. And it's my pick this week. And this all came about because we just Zoomed with James Blunt, the singer and now author of the book that Megan can't stop reading. I was just trying to think if there's one I can actually read out on radio. It's so filthy.

So funny. All the best ones are real. Yeah, he's great to follow on Twitter And this all came about Because before the interview We said like the Vengaboys song Megan We're zooming to Ibiza But we changed the lyric

And Vaughn just looked at us Blankly Like blankly Because it turns out Behind the scenes We have figured out that Vaughan believes that every Venga Boys song ever released, and there are quite a few.

Like six or something that we remember. Six or seven with just one song. It was Boom Boom Boom. Yeah. I want you to know Boom Boom Boom. I thought it was Boom Boom Boom, and then one verse of Boom Boom Boom talked about the bus, but then I've never heard the Ibiza going up.

And one talked about We Like to Party. No, that's the same song. Is it? Boom, boom, boom. Is it? Oh, yeah, it is too. We Like to Party is the Venga bus song, but I thought they were the same songs. I've never heard the Ibiza song, and I didn't know the Up and Down song was a Venga boy song.

This is so enlightening for a Friday. Well, do you know this song? Sha-la-la-la-la. Sha-la-la-la-la. That Venga Boys song. This is so enlightening for Friday. Well, do you know this song? Sha-la-la-la-la. Sha-la-la in the morning. So this Venga Boys song for Friday Flashback was at the end of 1999 at the end of year chart was the 31st biggest song

in New Zealand for that year. It made it to number 6 in the charts. It was number 1 in quite a few European countries. In most countries, it was in the top 10. In 1999 at some stage. And Bourne still has no recollection. And Bourne has zero recollection of it. From 1999, which some say is one of the biggest years

of pop music ever. That's when you had your Britney, your NSYNC. Your Christina. Yep. Yeah. Everybody kind of. Huge year for pop music ever. That's when you had your Britney, your NSYNC. Your Christina. Yep. Yeah. Everybody kind of... Huge year for pop music. Backstreet.

Yeah. So, today's Friday flashback. We're going to Ibiza. The Venga Boys. This is Captain Kim Smith. Oh, my God. So good. ZM.

Because we're going to Ibiza. Zid M? Fly away, on Benga Airways Fly me high, Ibiza sky I look up at the sky, and I see the clouds I look down at the ground, and I see the rain go down the drain Fly away, on Benga Airways Fly me high high Ibiza sky We're going to Ibiza Back to the island We're gonna have a party

In the Mediterranean Sea Far away from this big town and the rain It's really very nice to be home again Fly away, on Benga Airways Fly me high Ibiza sky We're going to Ibiza Back to the island We're gonna have a party

In the Mediterranean Sea We go, we go, away, away We go, we go, away, away Thank you for flying Benga Airways We are now approaching Ibiza Airport As you can see, the sky is blue And the beach is waiting for you We're going to Ibiza Back to the island

We're gonna have a party In the Mediterranean Sea We're going to Ibiza. Whoa. Back to the island. Whoa. We're going to have a party. Whoa.

Bingo, boys. We're going to Ibiza. It's your Friday flashback on CDM. We're going to Ibiza. So many messages saying I thought they always said we're going to eat pizza. No. No. We received, I would say, 25 text messages from people who said they remember this from

when they were a kid and they always thought it was we're going to eat pizza. And someone said, why do you keep saying Ibiza? It's we're going to eat pizza. They actually thought it was that. Because you say Ibiza, right? Ibiza. But they say Ibiza. Ibiza, it's we're going to eat pizza. They actually thought it was that. Because you say Ibiza, right? Ibiza. But they say Ibiza. Ibiza.

It does sound like eat pizza. Yeah, it does. Just rename it that. That song was gold in New Zealand too, by the way. Well, because somebody else just messaged in that song was trash. I mean, I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm not disagreeing with that sentiment. It's a terrible song.

Somebody said typical Fletch It's a terrible song. Somebody said Typical Fletch ending on a whimper. So I don't know if that's like a whimper. The year you're ending on a whimper

or did you do end with a whimper? Sort of a eh. Don't. Vaughn Allen Smith. Don't do that. Wow.

That's what they were getting at. Yeah, right. I think that's really cheered people up, that song. Yeah. I think people have liked it. Yeah. Yep.

Lots of people did like it. Yeah, that it's not all the same song. I just thought they had one big song. That had different sounds to it. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Fishy Tank. Season two.

Backed by Vodafone Business. So all thanks to Vodafone Business, and it's the time to announce our winner. And if you don't know what we've been doing, if you've just joined us, it's like the show Shark Tank, but it's Fishy Tank. Like Dragon's Den, where we take people's side hustles. Yep. Small businesses they started out of COVID.

Yep. And we find a winner. And I tell you what, it was even hard just to pick our finalists. So many good ideas. So many entries and people are like

really doing some creative cool stuff with their side hustles. Yeah, if you weren't a finalist, don't take that as a negative because we just couldn't get through them all. And it was a, what's a democratic decision?

Because it was votes. It was the people voted for their winner. So our three finalists are standing by. And do you think we just announced the winner? And then we do have $5,000 for our winner, but we've also got $500 for the runners-up. So we can talk to them after. But I think we do a drum roll $1,000 for our winner, but we've also got $500 for the runners-up. So we can talk to them after.

I think we do a drum roll and then we'll go to our winner, as voted by the people. Should we just quickly touch on each of these side hustles? Yes. Poor Planet was the one that I wrote the radio ad for and was getting behind. This is an app. Megan, you downloaded it. Yeah, it's got everything you need for your dog.

Like where to dog parks you can take them to. It tells you the times that you can be at the beach because they change seasonally. Vets, cafes that are dog friendly. It's got everything you need to know. Yeah, and the last couple of days since we mentioned them, they've had like a few thousand downloads of the app. It's an incredible app.

So check that out. Megan, you were getting behind flora grow kits. This is a great present idea, but you could just buy it for yourself. They're little grow kits and there's different kits available. Fletch, you got the cocktail herb kit. Yes. So you get some recipes and you get the herbs to grow yourself. Just like... And mints in there.

And I reckon that is the one plant you could probably even keep alive. Yeah. Don't doubt my ability to kill plants. Yeah. And A Surf With Pop was a book in the making. Luke from the Bay of Plenty has been working on this after he said no kids books that he came across covered surfing. And he's got Surf Mad Kids, so he's written the story.

It's been illustrated locally and he wants to publish it. So cool. It is time now to announce our winner. The $5,000 cash prize. Thanks to Vodafone Business. Flora Grokets. Oh my gosh. Come on in, Flora. Congratulations.

Oh, thank you so much. Oh, my gosh. Congratulations. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, wow. You actually got, well, I mean, I'm not going to mess, but I'd say about 30%, 40% more votes than our other two finalists. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, the support has just been insane. So many people got behind this business and me. Sorry.

Don't apologise. Don't apologise. Oh, yeah. It's been amazing. I'm so overwhelmed. It's just been unreal. And, you know, thank you guys so much for this opportunity. Oh, no, our pleasure.

So you're a teacher, and this was your side hustle that you got going. And we said if it got too busy, you'd probably have to start getting it aside some kids. Hey, kids, stop reading. Reading's for nudes. I'm a pack of teacher's plants. Because you had quite a few orders this week, didn't you, talking about it? Yeah, so many orders. This is our last week of school before we go on holidays, and I joked with the kids on Wednesday.

I was like, does anyone want a summer holiday job? I might need some help. The orders have just been amazing. Oh, wow. Hey, well, congratulations. Congratulations. $5,000. Thank you so much.

You can invest into your side hustle there. Well done. Thank you. All right. Flora, just going to put you on hold there. We have written a radio jingle for you. Oh, yeah. When did we do that?

Well, I was just thinking, if you just hold there, Flora, we're just going to give away. We've got $500 cash for our runners-up. Taff, good morning. Morning, guys. Mate, sorry you missed out on that. Oh, look, that's all good. It's been a fantastic opportunity.

So thank you guys all so much, especially for creating the radio advert and also to our contestants. You guys do some amazing things as well. So thanks to all. All right. Well, hey, $500 all yours, Taff. Congratulations.

Luke, good morning. Sorry you missed out, mate. No, no dramas at all, to be honest. It's just been fantastic to put ourselves out there and get the feedback from the community and everyone's been super positive. So, yeah, to be honest. It's just been fantastic to put ourselves out there and get the feedback from the community and everyone's been super positive. I've seen nothing but great feedback for everything like the little samples you

had on your Instagram page of not only the writing but also the artwork as well. Yeah, the artwork's outstanding. Nate's been picking up some good followers as well. It's been good. Everybody good followers as well. Awesome. It's been good. So yeah,

everybody out there, just follow that Surf With Pop on Instagram and we'll get it to print, no doubt. Yeah, I can't wait to see it. Let us know when you do. $500 yours,

Luke. Congratulations. We're just going to bring in Flora back because Flora, along with that $5,000 prize, thanks to Vodafone Business, we have a special radio jingle

that Vaughn made me walk back from the traffic lights yesterday. I was recording the radio jingle with Al and Fletch walked past and I waved him in as you do, like, come here, like you wave your hand. I thought you waved and I shook my hand and I was like, no, come here. And then I go into the office thinking he's out there talking to somebody. He's still walking home. I was waving goodbye.

I was not waving goodbye. So wave goodbye and come here, two very different waves. I only got two lines in the jingle. I didn't get any lines. Well, technically, one. We edited it out. Oh, really? Great, okay, great. Well,

Flora, congratulations. Are you ready for your radio jingle? Do we need background? Maybe we do. Of the radio jingle. Well, Flora, you probably already know this, but your name rhymes with Dora. Is Flora there? I think she might have dropped off.

Are you sure that's not your fault? Nah, it's definitely not. She muted herself. Flora. Don't worry, I do that with my cheek all the time, my floppy cheek. Nah, it's definitely not. She muted herself. Flora. Don't worry. I do that with my cheek all the time, my floppy cheek. Sorry, yeah. And then your mum's like, hello, hello, hello.

You're like, mum, mum, hello. All right, so you'd be familiar with Dora. Your name rhymes with Dora. Yes, I get called Dora a lot. Okay. Yeah. Do you find that annoying or are you okay with that? No, I love it.

I think I love it. Sure, thank God. Fuel, otherwise we'd have to not play this jingle. Because your radio jingle for Flora Grokits is the Dora the Explorer theme song slightly, slightly adjusted. Okay. Flora Grokits! Come on, Flora! Flip, flip, flip. Flora! Grow, kids!

Come on, Flora! Flip, flip, flip, flip, Flora! All right! Flip, flip, flip, flip, Flora! Flip, flip, flip, flip, Flora! Flip, flip, flip, flip, Flora! Let's grow! Flora, Flora, Flora, you'll adore her!

Grow, kids! Her kids are super cool and you can't ignore her! Grab some water! Let's go. Find the seeds. They'll grow. You can grow some greens.

That's me. Fl-fl-fl-flora. Fl-fl-fl-flora. Fl-fl-fl-flora. Fl-fl-fl-flora. Even Fletch can do it. Even Fletch can do it. Oh, man.

Floragrow.co.nz Are we getting in trouble for that will they want some popcorn they are coming for us yeah

I'd like to see you guys we've played it now well they were so born I had nothing to do with it apart from one line

oh man oh man hey congratulations flora well done the winner of fishy tank season 2 all thanks to Vodafone Business.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. It's my baby shower. Tomorrow, it's just crept on up on me. But this is a little bit different to maybe what some people have done in the past. Guys and girls are welcome. Because Andrew, my husband, always says, Oh, I'd like to come.

I don't want to be excluded. It's my baby too. We always found that a bit weird. Yeah. So we've just invited everyone, including Fletch. It's just like a party at your house, but everyone's going to be going on about babies. Well, because we haven't had a housewarming either,

so we're kind of combining the two. Okay. And there's a few passive baby games that we don't necessarily need to stop down and all actively play. What are passive baby games? So they're there for you to do in your own time kind of thing. Like bear pong, but the cups are baby's heads, doll's heads. That would be a good idea, actually.

How will the ball go in a baby's head? Because you rip it off the doll. Okay. And you fill them with beer or spirits or whatever. The hole is in there. The hole. You do it upside down. Yeah, you do it upside down.

Very small. You need a smaller ball. You need to balance it. It's a game of skill. Okay. That's not one of the games, but I'll think about it. Okay. Yeah.

But you're not forcing us to play the games. No. Okay, great. They're're not forcing us to play the games. No. Okay, great. They're there if you want to participate. But there is a couple of prizes which you will personally like. Okay. Well, for the winners of the games. Okay.

I'm into the games. I'm into the games now if there are prizes. And one of the other bribes was that there's going to be like a little alcohol stand. Now we're talking. I believe it's a gin. You're doing a gin bar. Blush gin, which I know you're fond of. Open gin bar.

Yeah. But that doesn't, what do you mean by that? How appropriate. This is Vaughn's question. This is what Vaughn has been wanting to know all week. How drunk are you allowed to get at a baby shower? Because I've had babies. It's in the afternoon.

I've already had them. The afternoon? Make it sound like it's not acceptable to drink in the afternoon. If you'd said it's at 7 a.m. in the morning, even then I would have been like, well, breakfast mimosas, obviously. Yeah, absolutely. Are your children coming? No.

Oh, okay. They might know. I thought that they would be like the handbrake for you. No, they can actually drive pretty well when you pull the choke out and they just steer as long as there's no intersections. Yeah, one of them does the pedals. You're like 10 minutes to your house. The other one does.

Five minutes and they just go through everybody's fences. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, I don't want to discourage you, but I mean, I don't think getting written off at't want to discourage you but um I mean I don't think getting written off at three o'clock in the afternoon but you know me I'm pretty much the same

written off as sober like that's just me as I maybe I slur a little bit more but I don't get violent or anything no

no gin though I could be in for a little tear I could get pretty emotional yeah I just don't want to say Lorenz is gonna be a bit

of a baby but no that's because Sade said oh maybe if the kids are going away we could go out for dinner after the baby shower

I was like where? I'm planning on being pretty ripped by the baby shower she wanted to go to like a nice restaurant that we've been

talking about going to for ages she's like oh it's nice I'm like what like college shirt nice and she's like yeah college shirt nice I'm like I don't think I'm going to be in any state you like, oh, it's nice. I'm like, what, like collared shirt nice? And she's like, yeah, collared shirt nice.

I'm like, I don't think I'm going to be in any state. You'll be at the restaurant being like, I just have dark flanks. That's how we rate nice. Yeah, collared shirt. Is it jacket over t-shirt? Is it just like a jacket? Yeah.

A windbreaker jacket. A windbreaker. You know that jacket I wear? A bomber jacket. A bomber jacket. A bomber jacket over a t-shirt. Nice. You don't wear bomber jackets to restaurants. What's that jacket that I wear?

Your green bomber jacket. You mean a blazer over a t-shirt. Apparently that needs to be replaced. I've only had it for three years. It's permanently fine. I know exactly what jacket you're talking about with your good jacket. It's my only jacket. So I I said is it jacket or collared shirt And she's in collared shirt

I said I'm way too pissed for a collared shirt restaurant I was thinking we might stop On the way home And you're planning on doing that whiskey tasting Down the road in between I'm definitely coming to this baby shower now Just so I can witness Vaughn Make an absolutese of himself.

Are we swimming? No, if you're getting booze, you're not swimming. I'll bring a rubber ring. Oh, my God. I'll put it under my shoulder so I always float, like, face out. I'm going to put all of this on the gram if you do. Because if you ever jumped into a pool and you've had the rubber ring too low

and it's kind of like, am I going to go upside down? Yeah. I'll put it under my shoulders. I'll be in the pool., am I going to go upside down? Yeah. I'll put it up under my shoulders. I'll be in the pool. Our families are going to be there. I know I've met them all. They're lovely people. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day the State Opening of Parliament in the UK. It is an event that formally marks the beginning of a session of the Parliament and includes a speech from the throne, the Queen's speech currently, or when there's a king, it's the King's speech, an elaborate ceremony showcasing Britain's history, culture, and contemporary politics to large crowds and television viewers.

It's kind of like all pomp and ceremony, really. But today's fact of the day is when there is a state opening of Parliament and the Queen goes to speak, a ceremonial hostage is taken place, is taken to Buckingham Palace. A member of parliament must be a ceremonial hostage and taken to Buckingham Palace to ensure the Queen's safe return. Oh, so they wouldn't kidnap or do anything to the Queen because one of them would be...

They've got an important member of parliament. Oh, they really didn't trust them back in the day, did they? No, no. It was from back in the days where kings were like pretty loose ghosts and just did whatever they wanted and killed people willy-nilly. But also every office place has that one person you'd sacrifice. Who would care? Yeah.

You know, that one person. Why are they looking at me? No, the person that hates the churner in the microwave. We're not saying you'd be our person. We just want you on board for when we commit this travesty against a workmate. Yeah, well, I'll be on board because I don't want to be the sacrifice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It will be the person who hesitates that will be gone.

Yeah. It'll be the sacrificial lamb. So, yeah, the queen sits on there. She does a little speech. And then she signals to the great Lord Chamberlain to summon the House of Commons to the Lord's Chamber. Now, the reason they go there, she doesn't go and mix with the commoners because last time that happened, it was bad news.

Oh, okay. It happened hundreds of years ago. It was the last time that somebody went down into the House of Commons. Charles I was the last English monarch ever to enter the House of Commons because they believed that, you know, the lords, the higher houses, they've got respect for it. But you go down to the commoners, it should get real.

Yeah. Like the queen might have to fist fight someone or play a game of pool to solve an argument and then crack someone over the back of the head with a pool stick. Yeah. You know? So today's fact of the day is when the Queen attends the state opening of Parliament in Britain, there must be a ceremonial hostage taken and taken to Buckingham Palace until the Queen is safely returned. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Last night was the big Christmas work party. I think you say work Christmas party, don't you? Yeah. Christmas work party. Same thing. Same thing. Same thing. Same thing. Well, I learned something last night

at the Christmas work party, work Christmas party, that shocked me and also excited me. And you apparently knew this. I think I was told. But it's not like, I'm excited for this person.

I'm stoked that they're living their best life and their dreams are coming true, but it's not my jam. Well, we welcome to the show, back to the show after a hiatus. This is like bringing a character back. A long hiatus. A character back to the show, isn't it?

Well, they're bringing Carla back on Shortland Street next year. Yeah. Our very own Carla joins us. James, producer James 1.0, good morning. Yes, good morning. Yes, good morning. Yeah, he's a bit, are you a bit hungover?

How's your head this morning? Yeah, no, it's okay. Thank you. Thank you. I'd love to know what I'm on the phone for, but. You've got ads to sell, pal. You brush that off and get in here. Make this company some money. Yeah, well, that's the thing.

James works upstairs now selling ads. Well, James, you told me last night when we were having some beverage hours that you have a boat. James has a boat. Yeah, yep. I do. He's got a boat. I do. I have a boat.

You know we like going out on a boat that's not ours? Yeah, well no, but I knew you'd want to come out. But I have to sort of like, weed, like, sort of seed it out to my friends individually. Otherwise, everyone will want to come out at once. You're my first friend with a boat. This is remarkable.

I can't believe you're so shocked that a white, well-to-do man who has strong connections to the North Shore of Auckland has a boat. Like, he's the first one that's ever done it. I'm so hungover to deal with this. I don't really know where to take this conversation now.

Do you want to go out or something? Yes, we want to go out on the boat. Is it a sailboat? Yeah, it's a sailboat. Man, you have talked about this, right? I remember you telling me you were going to get a sailboat. Yeah, they'll work. You've got to work on it. Well, I'm a sailboat. Yeah, so we've talked about this, right? I remember you telling me you were going to get a sailboat. Yeah, they'll work. I'm not doing work on it. Well, I'm not doing work.

Can't I go below deck and just sit there and drink champagne? Yeah, absolutely. Is there a below deck? Yeah, there's a below deck. You can sleep on it. I thought it was going to be one of those sailboats that you, what are they called? Little kippers or something when you go out and it's just you.

P-70. Just you and a little sail. Do you know how to drive this thing? Peter Burling? I think I think I know how to do it better than I actually do.

I'm kind of relying on Brian Marbeck, my father, to give me a crash test. Your dad's a big boating man, isn't he? We've now got a friend with a boat and this is what I wanted to talk about. You'll be aware of this, James. We're setting up a phoner here. Oh, yes, I love this.

You remember how we did that back in the day? Yeah, yeah. We're now going to take stuff. I'm going to have a stab in the dark here. Who's your friend that has a boat or what's your friend, which friend of yours do you rely on

for activities or something like that? No, no. You've forgotten this but the thing about opening up the phone lines is it's got to be a broad subject

so that you can get as many calls as possible. Pets go well. Pets go well. And names. Names and stories about your parents because everybody's got one Names and stories About your parents

Because everybody's got one No Today James We're opening up The phone lines right now On 0800 dials at M To talk about your friends That have

With benefits But not sexy benefits Non-sexual Friends of benefits Non-sexual You were Because you said activities And that is

Under the umbrella of benefits But again Broad Maybe your friend With a large car for all your friends to go away for New Year's. Something like that.

Or a friend with a batch. Yes. I have a friend, Zach Fargus, your friend as well, Fletch, who we often use him for his house on Waiheke.

Yes. Yes, we do. Some people think we're friends, but actually we just go there for his house on Waiheke. Now he can boat over. He's going to be very angry when he hears you've said that. Yeah.

He will be. He's a little bit traumatic. So your friends that have the benefits, the non-sexual benefits, like James with a boat. We're talking about your friends with benefits but not sexual benefits. Your friends with benefits where they've got something neat. It turns out,

Producer James, last night at the work Christmas party, should we read out that message? You can omit the name, maybe. He told us that he's got a boat, old Producer James. Yeah. And so now he's our friend

with a non-sexual benefit because he's got a boat. He just messaged saying he thought he'd kissed someone at the work party last night. He didn't know why we were calling. He didn't know why we were calling. No. No. So we want to know if you have a friend with a non-sexual benefit. Catherine, good morning.

Oh, good morning. Now, you are the friend with the benefit. Yeah, lots of benefits, but yeah. Okay, you are the friend with the benefit. Yeah, lots of benefits. Okay, right. So what's the main one that the friends go to? I'm a non-drinker, so I'm the sober driver. Oh, so you get invited out a lot, do you? Yeah. Does that annoy you or are you okay with it?

No, it's great. I can tee up to their level of hype, so it's good fun. Oh, I don't know how you do that because I hate being around drunk people. If I'm not on their level, it's hard. No, and the only rule is because I don't have a vehicle with enough seats, so at least it's not my vehicle we take. Oh, okay, I'm fine with that. Also, if somebody spews in the car, yeah, it's not your car.

And then also, they're petrol as well, so that's a bonus. Yeah, exactly's not your car. And then also their petrol as well. So that's a bonus. Exactly. Brilliant. We are talking about your friends with benefits, but the not sexy benefits, just the benefits of maybe leisure. Yeah. Maybe a leisure benefit, something they own, something good.

Those friends with the batch. Yeah. The cool flat to party in. Whatever, really. Somebody, some text messages in. Somebody said my BFF was the head of HR. What a glorious year of royal immunity. Walk up behind someone at the photocopier,

nice ass, whack. They're like, HR. You'd be like, yeah, try it. Oh my God. That's what, when they said royal immunity, that's when my mind went like, you're really pushing The boundaries out Absolutely

I've got a friend Who's a vet nurse And valuable Whenever many of our animals Get sick or injured Yeah but as long as They're your friend That you're also talking to

Not just like They don't hear from you When they need something Yeah Yeah like Oh my cat's vomiting Yeah Oh no good to talk to you too

Yeah Kate always good to catch up Chanel you are the friend with the benefits. We've got a 40-foot launch and also like a two-acre property in Tauranga. And all of our friends think it's okay for Christmas and New Year to like come and stay for free. Oh my God, Chanel, you look so nice today. Chanel, why aren't we friends?

Yeah, pretty much. I never thought about it from the other side, though. Like, James just then, we were literally just saying, take us out on your boat and spend money on us, weren't we? Yeah. Yeah. Although he's got a sailboat, so that's free, right? It's just a wind.

You've got to pay for some wind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, for us, it's probably about $500 in gas to leave the marina. What? God. Bloody hell.

Oh, and I don't imagine your friends are paying that. Definitely not. So, like, we're sort of quite selective about, like, when we go and sort of how we pitch that. Okay, so what jetty and what time are we meeting you? Yeah, yeah. The boat's actually out of action for the next six months, sorry. Yeah, right. Brilliant.

Hey, Chanel, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. I used to be a friend with a benefit before COVID when I had staff travel. Oh, yeah, the old airline. I could give my nominee to a good friend. Yeah, the airline self travel yeah my friend is the

friend of benefits family batch in Pawanui I've got heaps of tradie mates I've renovated my entire house with multiple

24 packs of beers I bet they love you too that's cheap given that you've just profited completely tax free off that little situation yeah

my partner and I are friends with a baby. Everyone loves coming around for the baby cuddles and then palming her off when she cries, straight back to us. So they get, you know, the benefit of being able to have a photo with a baby. Those do well online. My husband and I teach salsa dance.

Now, we've had friends and family joke that we were hired to get people out on the dance floor. Only in a couple of cases, I don't think it was a joke, when we've had Friends and family Joke that we were Hired to get people Out on the dance floor Only in a couple of cases I don't think it was a joke When we've been at parties And we really get The dance floor going Do they pull people up

They get invited to Right Yeah Because if I saw them Dancing salsa on the dance floor I'd be like I'm not going I'll just let them

Do their thing My friend with benefits Is my friend Who She has sons She has boys And I have girls So we go around there And she gets the brush hair My friend with benefits is my friend who she has sons. She has boys and I have girls. So we go around there and she gets to brush hair and do girly things. And I get to play, fight and wrestle with her boys.

So we've got this like, we get to have what we don't normally have at home. That's cute. Oh, great. I've just heard from former producer James. He says he does have an engine on board, which is great. Because I'm not trimming the spinnaker or whatever that is. So we don't have to work while we're on there. No, you'll have to trim the spinnaker.

But if it all goes badly. We're not trimming the spinnaker. Was that a legit thing, trimming the spinnaker? Oh, I don't know. No, I just trim the sails. That's more pirates, isn't it? I don't know. You've got to tack.

I'm going to ask him if he's got a cannon. What do you have to say when the boom thing swings around? You're like, watch out. Watch out for the boom. Heads up, here comes the boom. That's what I say

every time. I think I'll just stick to the fullers theory. Yeah, but I get wildly seasick so enjoy your boat trips. ZDM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's free and Clinton a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hit music lives here. ZM.