ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th February 2021

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

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Hello and welcome to the Fleetch Vaughan and Megan podcast with Hayley Sproul. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. I was just asked something by another man that I haven't, well actually you asked me to do it to you, this particular time. Where is this going? There's few other men who have asked me. I think this is a private conversation.

No, we're having it publicly. No, Vaughn. No, Hayley, I shan't be silenced. It's 2021. Fair enough. One man should be allowed to tie another man's tie. Oh, you have done that for me multiple times. Do you not know how to tie a tie?

He's shocking. Listen to the bloody private schoolgirl over there. I was going to say. You don't know how to tie a tie. I wore a tie every day for five years. What knot was your school's knot? We did over. Yeah.

I'm lefty, so it's a bit cack-handed. Oh, yeah, okay. Over, under, through. Oh, yeah, standard. Yeah, standard. Is that a half Windsor? Half Windsor, yeah. Every now and then if I got the end wrong,

you might have to do a over, round, and then through. So it was the right length. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the hardest part about it, getting the length right. I'm very confident with a tie. Because you don't like a, Donald Trump always used to have a long. Long one, but you also don't want it too short. No, I know.

You've got to get it just right. So Vaughn will tie, I've got like three ties or two ties for my suits that I own. And Vaughn will tie it initially and then I'll just loosen it enough to get ties for my suits that I own. And Vorm will tie it initially, and then I'll just loosen it enough to get it off and leave it like that. Why don't you get a little elasticated one that's already pre-knotted? I do have an elasticated bow tie, which is super cute. Oh, yeah, but they're hard to tie. Yeah, they're hard to tie.

The security guard. Well, he's just security guard. The building security guard said, hey, buddy, do you know how to tie a knot? I was like, yeah, I do. And then he handed me his tie. I was like, oh do you know how to tie a knot i was like yeah i do and then he handed me his tie i was like oh you mean tie a tie and then he offered his chest sort of arms to the side christ pose yeah arms he wanted me to tie it on him but i can't mirror tie which is when you can tie opposite so i put it on myself and tied it right and then um took

loosened it like i do with you and took it off The tie was full of his fragrance Full of his perfume Yeah right What was he wearing Was it CK1 A classic I couldn't tell you Exactly what it was

But you do seem Quite aroused by this It was a real And then he When I went I handed it back I thought he I think he thought

I was going to Put it over his head Put it around the neck And give him a little kiss Like a husband wife Yeah let me straighten up Your tie, give you a smooch, you're off to the office. A little pat on the chest afterwards.

Things to note about this. Yeah, right. Okay, you liked it. It was quite an erotic situation. Well, because you don't put in that effort anymore to make our relationship romantic. We've been together too long. You've gone a bit vanilla. Yeah, just like tie my tie, and then you just like chuck it here.

And then I go and Cheat on him Yeah I cheat on him all the time I know And I just To be honest I quite like it Because I'm

It's too much of a thing You can't be bothered After too long So what are you What are you going to do With it now What are you going to do With this new spark

That you've ignited Well I just He's a bit of a looker I know I just walked past Again and said Looking sharp Like that

That's another flute You've retorted And pointed at the tie Oh there's definitely Some sexual tension now Okay good Which is good though Because you know

You want the security guards On your side They've got access To the swipe cards And stuff So that's where That's where my day's at Especially you

Because you always Leave yours at home And have to buzz in So it's very important That you keep everyone Onside at work. Lucky I'm cute. Oh, no.

Melbourne, Victoria. Crikey dick, mate. So, yeah, just reading more to that story in Melbourne, a worker at the Australian Open quarantine hotel has tested positive for the COVID. Oh, no. And so now all these sites in Melbourne are... Locking down.

Did they get infectious sites? So they're working at the quarantine hotel, specifically dealing with people in town for the Melbourne Open. Yeah. So did they catch it? Yeah. Yeah. Tennis game.

Tennis game-y thing. Did they catch it from somebody in managed isolation? Maybe, yeah. Maybe it's another case of a little bit of hanky-panky between the staff and the... Oh, no. I'm putting some big accusations out there. Yeah. Right.

That's what we need right now. Unwarranted speculation. Yeah, spread the word. The tennis has started, hasn't it? Huge tennis group here. Massive fan of Andre Agassi. Yeah, because there's a story about that. Who's that Australian tennis player,

Nick Kourios? Yeah, he's always having a temper tantrum. He stormed off the court after a controversial time violation, it says here. And he called the chair umpire a smartass. Oh, yeah. He is immensely confrontational.

Yes, the tennis has started. So maybe it's somebody else that's flown in from overseas. Right. That's given this person the cove. But, yeah, not great news for our friends in Victoria. I reckon Nick Kyrgios needs a little bit of counselling. Some anger management. Some anger management.

Yeah. I thought you were going to say nothing a smack around the arse wouldn't fix. He needs a clip around the ears. Yeah. Yeah. Happy to give it. Really? A bit of a...

I'll volunteer my services. Okay. Purely as a disciplinarian or is there something in that for you? Nothing in it for me. No, nothing in it for you. Nothing for an angry tennis man. No. It's not my type.

I go for calm golfer. Okay, you like calm golfers. You're a real Philip Tisarangi woman. Why are you more of a lawn bowls girl? They're calm. So calm. Such soft. Every time I walk past a bowls place, you know, like a...

Club. Club. A bowls club. I always think, gosh, that would make a lovely lawn, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. I wish if your lawn was that tight. And then just tink when it hits that little white jack. Tink.

Do you need bowls? The top six is coming up. Yeah, Hitler's toilet seats for sale. Goodness. So I've got the top six other dictators in the household amenities that would make great auctions. All right, that's coming up next on the show. A Wellington flat has decorated their house,

and they got creative with it on a budget. Fletchvornaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A student flat in Wellington has chosen to decorate their living area with something quite unique. Four students, four Victoria Uni students. God help us all.

Living in this flat, they decided to buy a year and a half's worth of Whittaker's chocolate blocks. In one whack? Yeah. This is how they, well, no. They bought a bunch of them before Whittaker's raised the price on their chocolate.

So they went to the supermarket. Wow. Did they want to do a real, like, short-term turnaround? Like, they buy them, and then when they get smaller, they sell them for more. Well, potentially. I don't know if they were trying to make money. I think they just loved chocolate.

So they went to the supermarket, bought a bunch of chocolates, and they had some on sale. So they thought they'd bought a year's worth of chocolate and they went through it quite quickly and decided it was a bit of a shame to throw out the wrappers. So they've taped all of the wrappers on this wall of the living room. There's 400 Whittaker's Block wrappers. So they've taped all of the wrappers on this wall of the living room. There's 400 Whittaker's block wrappers. Have they taped them or blue-tacked?

Because you're not going to get their bond back if they sell a tape that rips the paint off. Well, they started by blue-tacking them and it sort of spiralled from there. And I think they've had to secure them a little bit more. It's like a full wallpaper. You should look at it. It's ridiculous. So just in the lounge or the kitchen? It's just in the sort of main living area,

like one of those student-y, kitchen-y, loungy bits. 400 rappers wallpapering this Wellington flat, and now they've had to move the people that have started it, and they've passed it on to the next generation, whoever's saying that they're going to. Oh, they're stoked. Keep this. I mean, it looks like golden wallpaper.

Look at this. Yeah, right, because all the different... And they've gone for different types. So, yeah, there's Ghana peppermint, there's coconut block, dark almond, creamy caramel. And they've chosen to wrap front and back. Right, yeah. God, they're lucky.

They're under 25s, aren't they? What happened to the good old days of finishing a bottle of Midori and putting that on the windowsill? Or a bottle of Jack. Yeah, keep it all you empty. Jack Daniels on the top of the fridge to let everybody know. Zen Booker. Galliano.

Galliano. We used to always keep those as vases. Oh, God, how old were you? Galliano's were an attractive bottle. Yeah. The bottle was far better than the booze inside it. I think there's someone

at my apartment block that leaves their bottles on the window, so, and I'm just like, feral. I want to make a correction to what I just said before.

So they've passed on the flat and those people didn't want the wrappers shockingly. Yeah. And I just want to let you all know that they said they were successful in taking them down without leaving any marks. Oh, yes.

Fantastic. But they look under 25, and they're very lucky because fast metabolism. Yes. Because looking at them in the photo, they're all very lucky. They don't look like they've eaten 100 blocks of chocolate each, do they? Yeah, no, they don't. Because on average, they would have had to have, there's four of them. It looks like that's 100 blocks each.

Over the years. Of Whittaker's chocolate. Yeah. Look at this. One of the students said, I know it's cheesy, but it demonstrates the power of chocolate in bringing people together. Not wrong. Apart from the diabetics and those that are allergic. Yeah, that's true.

They've been excluded from this. Dairy intolerance. Yes. My tummy's rumbling. I eat dairy as well. It's not for everybody. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A 22-year-old who was in a car accident in 2018 that received quite intense burns to

80% of his body. Oh, jeez. This car crash also and the fire that caused the burns cost him his face and hands. They were left in condition that couldn't work. He has been the first person in the world to receive face and hand transplants. Wow. So his hand, they were so burned that they had to amputate them? Yes.

The fingers were all burnt off. There was like nubs. The hands themselves, the structure was affected. Yeah. And his face was also like... Without getting too graphic a description, there wasn't a lot left. So he got a face and hand transplant

because his surgeon believed it was the best way to give him back any independence. And this has never been done before. Not successfully. Not successfully. Successfully, they have put like hands on people. One hand has worked, but never like the hands and the face all in one go.

Because this is amazing just looking at the after photo of this transplant. There's a photo of him playing pool. Like he's got his new hands and they're freaking incredible. Working. Like, you know, when you're playing pool, you've got to hold the stick at the back and then at the front you've got to, well, there's various techniques for how you put your hand on the pool table. But yeah, he's doing it and he's playing pool.

Wow. And so his hands and doing it and he's playing pool. Wow. And so his hands and new face have been responsive. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Do his hands look different to the rest of his? Because, you know, what if your hand transplant guy has a different skin tone? He would have been because this guy was Latino.

He's Mexican. Okay. And the person that donated. guy was Latino. He's Mexican. the person, the donor, and I can't see if it was the same person that donated the hands and the face or if they came from different donors. I assume the hands came from the same person. But they are a different, they're very like a white shade.

Oh yeah. And the faces as well compared to the before photo before the accident. The surgery took 23 hours, which they're saying is historically fast. Imagine being actively doing surgery for a full day. You'd need teams, right? You'd need to be subbing in and out. Well, I find it hard just to do a 12-hour workday. They connected to... Let alone 23.

When did you do a 12-hour workday? Sounds horrible. Yesterday? I was awake for 12 hours and that was pretty strenuous. We were out of here at like 11. I don't know where we used to be. Am I exaggerating again? Mentally, I checked out at about 9.

Okay. Mentally, I haven't arrived today. I'm still on a break. I mean, these surgeons and geniuses, they're doing long form on the TikTok of paying attention. Right. I can do 15 seconds. Is it one surgeon or do they work in teams?

No, it's teams. A huge team of surgeons. It's teams, but with a head surgeon who would be managing the whole thing. They connected two bones, 21 tendons, five veins, two major arteries and three major nerves. That's amazing. Imagine being 18 years old and going,

I think I'm going to go to medical school, knowing nothing and next minute you're giving someone new hands and a new face. Yeah. So why has it not worked before? What was different this time? Transplants are crazy with rejection. Yeah. So why has it not worked before? What was different this time? Transplants are crazy with rejection. Yeah.

Your body's just like, this is a foreign object, basically. Right. This is not mine. And your body rejects it. Attacks it. And that's why you've got to take that anti-rejection medication, right? But that also leaves your immune system compromised so you can get sick. Is that right?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I had a friend who had a heart transplant and just the immune system doesn't exist anymore. So anything like a cold and a flu can be really deadly. What about a global pandemic? Nah.

Oh yeah, mate. You're out. Scary. Wow, okay. Yeah, well, well done this guy. Well done the doctors. Well done team. And good luck to this guy because that's incredible.

What a new lease on life. Just reading a story about a woman who's gone on a TV show in America. I've never heard of this. It's on the TLC network. Oh, a great network. They have a lot of like. Just trash. Yeah, that's the word I'm looking for.

Trash. So this show is called Extreme Cheapskates. Have you heard of it? No, but it sounds right up my alley. Is it like the voucher people? It's people that are absolute cheapskates in life. Is it like the people who get the voucher system and coupons in America and they can get the whole week's groceries for free by cancelling it all out.

Have you seen these videos before? No. So it's like, you know, you get a coupon for this which is, you know, buy one, get one and then you get another coupon that's like, you get this. And when you add all the coupons in the end people show you how to do it. Your grocery bill's like eight bucks. Oh wow. For a family of four. Oh that's good on

if you can do that, that's amazing. But they spend all day. So this woman is called Amy. She is worth 7.39 million US dollars. That's her net worth. Wow. Well, she doesn't need coupons. But she refuses to spend more than $1,400 on her monthly budget.

So she has a budget, $1,400. US dollars? US dollars. She turns off her hot water cylinder and turns it on. She's worked out 22 minutes before she needs a shower. I thought hot water cylinders worked best when they kept

themselves at a constant temperature, not being fluctuated. Yeah, because then they've got to come from nothing. So I don't know if she's running a little cylinder or a zip. She's got a jug. But she works out, she can turn it on 22 minutes before her shower

and then she saves about 100 US dollars a month on her power bill, 105. Bear in mind, this woman's worth over 7 million dollars. That's her net worth. She saves close to 280 thousand dollars a year by not buying anything new. But one, it's the one thing on the show that caught people's attention. She saves close to $280,000 a year by not buying anything new. But it's the one thing on the show that caught people's attention.

She saves 30 cents a can on tuna because she buys cat food in a can instead of tuna. Oh, I don't think she's well. She goes for a chicken or tuna in light gravy cat food. And they've got her on the show, opening the tin and eating it. Yeah. She should be my father-in-law. Yeah. Another man who can definitely afford

to eat better than he does. He's quite notorious for having, yeah, he's well off, but he's very cheap. Very cheap. So the other day he came up. He's, by the way, he's bought a place not too far from you

so you and him are going to deal with him now. Soon. What do you mean deal with him? It's like his retirement from retirement. He's retired but he feels like

he's going to have to retire from his retirement. Okay. So he's going to be living near me. He's going to be living near you. Okay. Maybe you could pop over

and have a wee can of tuna. That's what I said. You're closest so you can probably help him out with all of his problems. But he was up the other day and shouted a message saying, Dad said, I'm going to grab some steak. Dad wants steak for dinner. I was like, that's fine by me because I love steak. You do?

I love a steak. You're a meat snob, actually. A little bit of a meat snob. A little bit of a meat snob. I'll eat it all. But every meat has its place. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Because you love your slow cooking barbecues. And that's the best thing to do with meat that, you know, traditionally is hard to cook or is chewy or whatever.

You slow cook it. Yeah. And, you know, then you've got your stews for, you know, your winter stews, your cuts of meat that are made

for winter stews. Yeah. So I'm like, well, that's fine by me. And Sade has been educated thoroughly on steak purchasing. And then I get home and the steak, as you might not know, but before you cook steak, it's best to bring it to room temperature. Oh, of course.

Take it out of the fridge. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Never cook it from the fridge. Because the outside will be done, but the inside won't be. Right. You want it at room temperature when it hits that grill. And I look to see what the steak is.

It's rump steak. Well, immediately. Oh, no, that's for a stew, isn't it? That's a stew steak. It's for a stew. It's for a curry. Yeah. Because it's quite a tough meat, isn't it?

Well, it is. It's from the ass of the cow and that's a hard working part of the cow. Not the actual ass but near the ass. The rump. It's not right at the at the puckered end. That's this. At the puckered end.

Yeah, the puckered part goes in the mince. Yeah, that's your mince. That's your mince. Great. It's remember eating mince

and all of a sudden your tongue is trapped. Don't put me up in a nacho. That's your prime mince. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Scoop the, scoop the sphincter right up with the nacho chip. Right. And, who bought rump? Why'd you bring? Who's bought rump? I thought we were having like a steak.

Yeah. John said, oh, Dad wanted rump. I was like, why does he want rump? Nobody wants a rump steak. I was like, why? Because it was the cheapest? Exactly. I said, why did he buy rump?

Yeah. I said, John, why did you buy rump? He's like, I didn't buy it. I was like, so I've paid for this, have I? Unbelievable. Right. Unbelievable. If you had to, being a meat man, how would you turn a rump steak into a good steak?

I had to do a rump steak on the barbecue. Right. It wasn't impossible, and it was still nice, but... So you bring it to room temp? Yep. A good salting beforehand. Oh, okay. Yeah.

You're careful on the pepper because the pepper can burn. And it has to have... So you sprinkle it with mixed herbs? No. You can if I'd had more time. Mixed herbs? Not mixed herbs,

but like... Not actual fresh one, but the box called mixed herbs? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking. You could coat it with something. Give it a dry rub. Okay.

And let it sit in that for a bit. Yeah. But, I mean, I made it edible. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a monster. But it would have been significantly tastier and better if we'd gone for a tomahawk steak. Well, he saved some money, didn't he?

He didn't save any money. You saved money. I didn't pay for money. You saved money. I didn't want to save money. I didn't skimp on steak. How long is he staying for? No, he's gone now. Oh, okay. But he's moving in next to you, so he's your problem now.

I have no legal obligation to help this man. No, you do. I'll help him. Remember that thing you signed and you thought it was an autograph for a fan? That was me in costume signing over care rights to my father-in-law. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Now I said before that a baby

had recorded a single. Yes. And it's on an album. Right. But there's more to this. The baby's not even born yet. It's in youth row. And it was a bit of a situation of mum and dad doing the colouring and competition. I was going to say, how is the baby going to mix that in editing software?

Were they tried putting a computer in there to get the baby? Very hard to get it in. Very hard to get it in. So the baby, Luca, is not yet born but the mother Elizabeth and the father Ivan are both musicians.

Okay. And apparently using Biosonic MIDI technology they translated Luca's in utero movements into sound. Now that result, how they did that was a MIDI device was hooked up to the stomach and recorded all the vibrations

of the baby moving. If you've ever had a sonograph or seen one, you can kind of get this. There's the heart, but then you can hear other. Wooshing. Gurgling. Yeah, gurgling, whooshing, moving. Wooshing in the sack.

That's what the song should have been called. Wooshing in the sack. Woosh, woosh, woosh, wooshing in the sack. I'm in my sack. And I'm Doing Okay well I don't Should we see how it sounds Yeah

Because I'll press play Okay Are they going to drop a beat I don't know Yeah I'm expecting it It sounds video game atmospheric video game music

yeah now you're you're underground yeah where is it shall I fast forward it see if they drop a beat yeah fast forward they need to drop a fat beat

oh here comes the fat beat it's very video game yeah I didn't know that babies had chimes in there they do It's very video game. Yeah. I didn't know that babies had chimes in there. They do. They need to add a touch of dubstep, I reckon.

Yeah. There might be a dubstep. There might be a dubstep song. On the album. Yeah, the album's called Sounds of the Unborn, and this is like the lead single. Right, the lead single. Sing along if you know the lyrics.

This baby can't even do a concert yet. Still in the womb. Probably wouldn't even be recommended to go to a concert at this stage, as she is quite heavily pregnant. Or wouldn't be able to get into a bar until 18. No. Oh, yeah, there's... What's the ruling on that if they're in a front pack?

I don't know. Just zip up your jacket. It's a bit weird, isn't it? Don't know when you've got a straw and your long whiteness going through your zip. I don't know, something to miss. Yeah, it's weird.

It's spooky music. But as you say, it's been through all matter of synthesizers and stuff. Yeah, and mum and dad did it, so let's not. Yeah, let's not pull too much praise on this fetus. Oh, look, my mum used to do a lot of my stuff for me. Wrote a speech for me when I was 12 years old.

I won that speech competition. Did she? Did she do your colouring in competitions too? Look, she assisted me in the writing of this speech. Oh, hold on. Ten seconds ago, before I was outraged, your mum did the whole thing. Now you're changing your tune.

I'm just trying to protect myself. I don't want to lose my title. Maybe get your mum to send you through an excuse. Of Muratai School Speech Competition winner 2002. What was the speech on? Romance. Of course, the specialist subject of any 12-year-old. Yeah. the specialist subject of any 12-year-old. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the smoggy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hitler's toilet seat. There's a rhyme in that. Is there? Wow. Is there? What was it? Hitler's balls in Albert Hall or something.

You know how, like, it was real disparaging in the early 1900s to write, like, a rhyme about a dictator or an enemy of the state. I don't remember. Rhymes about Hitler. Hope I don't come across any pro-Hitler prose. Well you're probably getting flagged by

the CIA and IT and the Five Eyes Network right now just for looking up Hitler. I'm going to shut that window then. So his toilet seat is for sale. This was a toilet seat he had at his house or something. Yeah, Hitler's toilet seat. I believe absconded by US soldiers at some stage.

Right, they took it as a memento. You know how they did the looting? Yeah. Beautiful last episode of Band of Brothers when they get to Hitler's eagle's nest and they get into as a memento. You know how they did the looting? Yeah. Beautiful last episode of Band of Brothers when they get to Hitler's Eagle's Nest and they get into the champagne and the whiskey. That was a great series. It was.

Beautiful series. They were due to do a sequel? No, they're doing another one. They're doing another one. COVID put the bloody... Yeah. Put in that? Yeah.

Said, wait, we'll come back to that. But same team, right? Yeah. So that could be really good. But yeah, looted during World War II. Up for auction. It's expected to go between like 15,000 to 20,000 US dollars. Oh, I would have thought for some reason it would go for more.

Me too. But I wasn't sure why. And now I'm thinking about it, I don't know who would buy it. Yeah. What would you do with it? You wouldn't attach it to your toilet. And every time someone went for a wheeze or a pose in your house, you went, oh. Hitler had

his... That was Hitler's. Hitler had his amphetamine-fuelled shits on there. Yeah. Yeah, like there's no... You can't put it on the wall. Unless you're a museum, maybe. Unless you're a museum. Yeah. Hitler has only got one ball, the other is an Albert Hall, the mother

of the dirty bugger. She cut it off when he was small. Jared just sent that through. Wow. And they sing that in, dirty, whoa, what was that? Inglourious Bastards.

And they sing that at some stage in that. Anyway, I've got the top six other bathroom facilities from dictators that would make great auctions. Okay. Number six on the list, Pol Pot's toothbrush. That guy had some wacky ideas about people with glasses.

A real pile of trash. Pol Pot, if you've not looked into his... Oh yeah, we learnt a bit about him when we were in Cambodia. Absolute monster. Horrible man. Like, proper awful person. But brushed after every meal. Right. So his toothbrush. I don't know how much it would

fetch at auction. Number five on the list of the top six dictator's bathroom facilities that would make great auctions, Stalin's hairbrush. As far as dictator's hairdos go, good hair. Stalin, great head of hair. Thick bush. Yeah, thick bush,

grew a great moustache. You're just googling. Almost, what do they call that? Pompadour? He's just usually wearing a beautiful quiff. I know. A quiff. Queen quiff. That's what it's after.

Oh, wow. And a terrible man. Awful piece of shit. An absolute. Proper criminal. Shit on my shoe, man. Yeah. Great head of hair. Oh, man. Yeah. Great.

All head of hair. Eek. Lush. Phil. Ashley and Martin, no thanks. Don't need it, said Stalin. Now back to the good bag. People probably go to Ashley Martin with a picture of Stalin.

Yeah. Imagine, you know, you take like a picture of a head Turn to your hairdresser and what you really want I want that You really want it, but you're like Are they going to think I'm modelling myself after a war criminal? Yeah Or like a horrible person that literally killed millions of his own people But damn I want the Scarlet

Scarlet, I've got a head of hair Number four on the list of the top six dictator bathroom facilities that make great auctions are Muammar Gaddafi's nose trimming scissors. The nose here? Yep. He really looked after himself, Muammar Gaddafi. Libyan dictator there. Yeah, and it's 10 years this year since he was killed. Right.

He was in a culvert under a road, right, and they dragged him out. Yeah, there was like a photo of it and everything. Yeah. It's just sort of... Well, it's all go. All gone. Our number three on the list of the top six dictator bathroom facilities

that have made great auctions are Kim Jong-un's contact lenses, the case they go in overnight, and some leftover solution. Oh, yeah. You might be thinking, didn't he always wear the glasses? Famously, he was wearing the glasses

when he was a marionette puppet in Team America. Eric Baldwin. But he didn't marionette puppet in Team America. Eric Baldwin. But he didn't. He liked contact lenses as well. Yeah, great. He liked contact lenses. Number two on the list of the top six dictator's bathroom facilities that make great auctions, Robert Mugabe's shampoo and conditioner.

Maybe he was born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe you should stop questioning the government or maybe you'll disappear. I'm sure Maybelline is stoked to have that association with Robert Mugabe. I don't know how he might fit that into the jingle. Yeah. Maybe she's born with it.

Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe you should stop questioning the government or maybe you'll disappear. I like it. Great hit. Always had shiny locks From Robert Mugabe Again Again

Piece of shit Yeah Horrible human Rotten person Monster In hell In the pits of hell As we speak

And number one On the list of the Top six dictators Bathroom facilities That have made great auctions Saddam Hussein's Moustache comb Oh yeah

He kept that stache Yeah Even when he went full bed. I think he put a bit of... Again, terrible person. Yeah. Oh, monster. I'm seeing a correlation here

between dictators and good hair. I know. Must be... Maybe there's something in it. Has there been a bald dictator? Mussolini? Okay. Fascist Italian dictator during World War II?

I don't know. Now I'm going to go into bald dictators. Yeah, I'm literally doing Mussolini. Okay. Fascist Italian dictator during World War II. I don't know. Now I'm going to go into bald dictators. Yeah, I'm literally doing the same Google search right now. Oh, yeah. Lenin. Khrushchev. Oh, yeah.

Okay. There's been heaps. Okay. Right. Yeah. Yeah. There's hope for you yet. Jeff Bezos.

This is a Russian. This was a fact of the day once. Yeah, definitely. You watch that space. Russian leadership went bald, hairy, bald, hairy, bald, hairy. Do you remember that? Yes, it was a fact of the day once. Yeah, definitely. You watch that space. Russian leadership went bald, hairy, bald, hairy, bald, hairy. Do you remember that? Yes, it was a fact of the day once. Bald, hairy, bald, hairy.

Bald, hairy, bald, hairy, bald, hairy. So the next one has to be hairy because Putin's bald. Yeah. Wow, okay. Is he? I don't want to upset him. He's still alive. Wow, he's hanging on there. He should be bald. Don't upset him. Ashley and Martin, I'd send a promotional pamphlet his way. Maybe Putin listens

to the podcast. Bye. If you do. Don't drink that tea. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Hey, I've got some stats in from America. Okay. America, the centre of our world. Well, it used to be. For over half of all women in America, in the United States, the old adage sisters before demisters might be true.

Maybe truer than people think. According to a OnePoll survey of 2,000 women in America, 56% of them would rather be trapped in quarantine with their best friend than their boyfriend or husband or partner. And that includes 60% of millennials would rather be with their bestie than their partner. That's quite big, isn't it? But then, I mean, they are taking the survey

in the midst of the global pandemic. And America's on fire. It's a horrible place. Absolutely. And the only thing that could make that any worse is a pesty little boyfriend needing things from you. But I also can't think of too many females I know that lived with their best friend, like in a flatting situation, that came out the other side as good of friends. Oh, really?

Do you know what I mean? Like, have you ever lived with your best friend? I haven't lived with my best friend. Yeah, see? You all think it's fun and games until you have to do it. I can think of a few people I know that thought they were going to have the ultimate girls pad and then they moved in

and they didn't come out as good of friends as they went in. Oh, I've lived with really close girlfriends before and we just had the best time ever. How long for? A year. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, that's a long time. But you weren't

in quarantine. We weren't in quarantine. No. And we were able to have visitors and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, boys were coming in and out of that flat. Oh, mate, that door was coming off the hinges, I tell you. Yeah. You had a production line going. Five drama school students

in Newtown. Oh, tearing through them. God, that flat would have been dramatic. Very dramatic. There was a loud flat, I'll say that much. Right, yeah. We used to live above this poor woman called Elspeth, and man, she... Elspeth?

Elspeth. We were making her apology brownies every week. Really? Yeah. But yeah, they're saying that because over lockdown, women became so much closer with their friends, you know. We were always in conversation, texting, having little Zoom catch-ups. When levels were lifted, we were really eager to see our friends and not our partners who have literally been shut, if you may,

in a one-bedroom house with. So it kind of makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? That women's relationships with other women are growing stronger and stronger. The sisterhood, yeah. Not the misterhood. women are growing stronger and stronger. The sisterhood. Yeah. Not the misterhood. No. Well, you've got a misterhood.

Do you think that's the same for guys? No, I was removed of my misterhood. We just stayed with that before. I'm not sure if it's the same with guys. You think it'd be the same with guys? I had my WhatsApp group with, oh, not to live with. Yeah, no. No, no, no.

I lived with, oh, no, no, no. I lived, that's something you do in your early 20s. When you first go flatting, you live with all your mates. And then you're like, this place is filthy. And I'm just as much to blame as everybody else. Because no one's doing their chores. Oh, there's rubbish in the hallway. Like, yuck.

Those were the grossest flats. The all dude flats. Yeah. Filth. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Andy, my oldest daughter, the all dude flats. Yeah. Filth. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Andy,

my oldest daughter turns nine on Saturday and then gets her birthday Monday-ized. Oh, that's great. How cool is that? She's always going to

have a weekend off for her birthday. Always going to have a day off. I remember when she was real tiny and remember that photo I got and I was like

holding. Yeah. She's teeny tiny. She was born prim. She was tiny. I could hold her head in my hand and she'd finish before she got to my elbow. Really?

Like I think my foot long subway was longer than her. I think, yeah, she would have been comparable to a foot long. Oh no, she would have been a bit longer than a foot long sub. Maybe if she pulled her knees in, she would have been. Yeah.

She would have done the old tuck and roll. God, now you look back and you regret missed opportunities as a parent. And now I regret not having a photo of her next to a subway. Yep. Everybody should get a photo next to a foot-long sub. Just for reference. Yeah.

Because we all know how long that is. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't even need to be a subway foot-long. It can just be a foot-long sandwich from anywhere. Or it could be a tape measure. Or one of those meat-along pizzas from Toto's. I love that we use foot-long subs. And I do it all the time

to measure things. When you're thinking about how long a foot is you're sort of like it's a subway. Or they're like six inches and you're like

half a sub. Unless it's the five inch one because someone else got the seven. I usually get the seven. It's like a block of butter is for weight.

Yeah. A subway or a litre of milk is for weight. Yeah. A subway is for length. People are like I've lost sixre of milk is for weight. Yeah. A subway is for length. People are like, I've lost six blocks of butter. And when you think about it, that's a lot.

It is, yeah. You're doing really well, babes. Yeah. You know, you plateau for a little bit. Oh, it's totally fine. You do you as well. You lost a tablespoon of butter today. It's fine.

So yesterday she said, oh, I've been, you know, I've been back at school for a couple of days. Okay. I've been setting an alarm. Oh, okay. Five past seven is when her alarm, she told me she sets it for five past seven. Okay.

I don't know why not seven. That kind of annoyed me, to be honest. Yeah, I always go for an, do you go for an even alarm number? It's got to be on an even number. What sort of monster would not have it on a five? If she'd said I set my alarm for three minutes past seven, I would have kicked her out. Probably send her to boarding school. If you look she'd said, I set my alarm for three minutes past seven, I would have, like,

kicked her out. Probably send her to boarding school. If you look at my alarms, they'll disgust you. You've got a long row of them. 101 AM. Ooh!

4 AM, 405 AM, 408 AM. No. 415 AM. Yeah, that's okay. I'm really nervous

about missing work, guys. 417 AM. No. 17. 430 AM, 433, 437, 451. It's got to be even numbers. Yeah. It's. No. 17. 4.30am, 4.33, 4.37, 4.51. It's got to be even numbers.

Yeah. It's got to be on the fives. But that extra little minute. You're not going to notice it out of the bed but you will feel it in the bed. No, but give yourself another minute and round it up to two. Well then why not give another minute and round it up to three or five. Just stick to fives. It's like watching TV and not having your volume on

and even not... So she said, I've been sitting back at school a couple of days. I've been setting an alarm. And you know, this morning when the alarm woke up, when the alarm went off, I opened one eye and I thought, I just cannot be bothered with today. So I turned off the alarm and went back to sleep for an hour. I was like, you, shy of your ninth birthday,

I was like, welcome to adulthood. She's like, do you not like getting up every morning? I was like. I love it. I love it. Yeah. I love it. And she's like, what? Do people not look forward to waking up when they're an adult?

I was like, sweetheart, I hate to break this to you. You are but an infant in my eyes. And, you know, turning into a young woman. Yeah. So quickly. But no, no one likes getting up. No one. No one.

No one. Now that she's had this feeling, that's her for the rest of her days. Yeah. Another 90 years perhaps. You're a kid. You'd spring out of bed, eh? And then one day you didn't. And that's that.

That's life. She's had that day. I know. She's had her day when the alarm went off and she was like, not today. I don't want to do it. I can't remember the last time I sprung out of bed other than for panic. Yeah.

You know, like, Yeah! Rubbish day! Like, you wake up and you're like, rubbish day! And you run down the driveway and you're under his toe in the bin. Yeah, you missed the last recycling day,

so if you missed this one, you've got a month's worth of cardboard in there. That's not happening. Alright, 720. Time to start a fire. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, get your rose quartz out and your amethysts charged by the moon, because I've got the best

Valentine's gifts based on your star sign. You could do the star sign readings. I could. I don't know if radio does that anymore. When I was a kid, I always remember it would be like, that's the cancellations for sports happening today and up next we've got the star signs. And then what, they just every morning read out?

Every theory music would play and then someone with the voice that Hayley was just doing would read out some fairly nondescript, broad-swipping generalisations that everybody, regardless of when they were born, could adhere to. Today, don't let people push you around. Carpe diem, this is your day. Yes.

And you're like, oh my God, I needed to hear that. Well, here's a list. It's more for the gifter to hear for the, listen for the star sign of the person you're going to give the gift to. For Valentine's Day, right. So these are the gifts you should get each star sign. Okay. Aries, they want an experience.

Like a hot air ballooning? A physical experience that they can go out and do stuff rather than an item. Why did you laugh at hot air ballooning? Because it is cool. Don't get me wrong. It's cool. Not on a windy day. In this description on this website, they have said, i.e. rally driving, whitewater rafting, zip wire or hot air ballooning.

Right. But it seems like it's a romantic, a really nice thing. And then you're in one and it's like. Terrifying. Are you guys ready? Yes, we're ready. We're in a wicker basket. What the hell was that?

And we're away. And that's all this for the next hour. Yeah, right. Horrendous long stretches of gas being ignited. Are you an Aries? No. Well, this gift isn't for you anyway. Good.

Taurus, Taurus. If you are giving to a Taurus, you want to give them the gift of food and drink. Easy. Again, big indulgers. They adore high quality, top of the range treats, nibbles and tipples. Okay.

Gemini, a subscription to something. Hugely sentimental. Oh, sorry. No, that's the next group. They're boredom. They're boredom fiends. You know, they need constant freshness and stimulation. So give them a monthly subscription to something.

Maybe a masterclass or something like that. Cancers. Now, this is for my mum. Well, this is me as well. This is you. You're getting a photo album. Okay. That's the stinkest gift so far.

That's because I'm super sentimental. You're super sentimental. You love making memories. We're going to give you the gift of mementos and memories. I'd probably prefer one of those, you know, those photo frames that you have the photos loaded onto it. That would be like, I feel like that's more of a 2021 version of that. There are other suggestions.

A mug or a trinket box. Either of those. Tickling your bits. No, none of those tickling my bits. Didn't get any benefit for cancers. No, it didn't A photo album or a mug or a trinket box Alright, if you're giving to a Leo

You might want to give them a beauty treatment Is that because Leos are Ugly They love to be pampered, preened And groomed Also get them something tailored to their personal style Virgo, a phone case How romantic Happy Valentine's Day Get them something tailored to their personal style. Virgo? A phone case?

How romantic. Happy Valentine's Day. I got you a funny phone case. But then maybe their Virgos are clumsy and they're always dropping their phones. So technically, I guess you're saving them. No, it's because Virgos are ruled by Mercury, obviously. Oh, of course. Of course.

Makes them super chatty. And so they're always going to be on their phones and you can't have a hucky paint-covered phone cover. Okay. Libra, this is me and my partner, a bouquet or, so flowers,

or a plant delivery service. That is me. You love plants. Is there one of those in New Zealand or is that an overseas? I don't know that there is. I've never heard of a plant subscription. A subscription to a

delivery service. House plant subscription. That is bang on for you though because you have a million plants. House plant subscription New Zealand. I'm just putting that

in there for the break. That's for me. Every month you'd get like a ficus or a Yeah. I guess so. I need that. Well, Aaron,

if you're listening, that's what I'm getting you and that's what you're getting me. Two plants. Scorpios. A psych, Aaron, if you're listening, that's what I'm getting you and that's what you're getting me. Two plants. Scorpios. Oh, I can't even say it. A psychedelic reading.

Scorpios are into the weird, unusual, and dangerous, so they'll be loving this segment. Not saying that makes them scary people, but they want something sort of supernatural or, you know, a bit spooky. There you go. Sagittarius, going to get you a pet. Don't do that. Don't a pet. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't do that. So many unwanted pets as gifts. Don't do that. Adopt, don't shop. Yeah, they love animals, get them a stuffed toy. Capricorn, something bougie, like jewellery or a designer item.

Hit the Louis Vuitton, hit the high streets. Yeah. Aquarius. Oh, this is Sade. Okay. Sade's in Aquarius. Sade's getting a telescope.

Didn't you bring home a telescope one day and you're the only one that is into it? Or is Sade into the telescope? She's not into it because it means going outside at night. Maybe she'll be into it if you got her a second one. Aquarians are ruled by Uranus, the planet of space travel. So she wants something like a telescope, a book, binoculars. And finally, a book, a binoculars. And finally,

Pisces, you are getting the romanticism of a dressing gown. I do. I would have a dressing gown. A robe. There's dressing gowns that look like Jedi robes. I've been pushing for one of those for quite some time. If it's for Valentine's Day, you want to get something like a silk or a

linen or a lovely cotton. Don't get a fluffy warehouse. You know what I mean. You need something. Don't get a fluffy warehouse. No, you need something sexy. Right, okay. And that's what you should be getting your partners on Valentine's Day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Organisation, we're all time poor. Yes. Yes, you are, Bourne Yeah, I mean, people that finish work at 10 o'clock, we're time poor Before you know it, you're cooking dinner, you go to bed Oh my god, we've got 10 hours of the day more than what most people do You are probably one of the most unorganised people I know

Yeah, well I know, here's the fact, I always have people around me who will organise. Yes, I'm your work wife and Executive Intern Anya is, she's running a tight ship. Yep. And then you go home and your wife will organise the rest of your life.

Personal stuff, she takes care of all that. I wonder if you were single, if you'd even turn up some days. Mmm. No, I don't think I'd work. You probably wouldn't. I don't think I would.

I honestly would worry about you. You need someone. Yeah. If my family left me, I'd't think I'd work. You probably wouldn't. I don't think I would. I honestly would worry about you. You need someone. Yeah. If my family left me, I'd probably just go bush. Sure. You would too. I would absolutely thrive. You'd be nude in the bush, living off the land.

Well, it was during planning today for the show that I think we were talking about a movie that was happening at night or something coming up. Yeah, we were looking at a calendar. And later on tonight, we're doing our first Bangers Bingo. So the calendar got pulled up. And that's where we saw Executive Intern Anya's day-to-day calendar. Her work calendar also includes personal, what they're doing personally, her and her partner, Mr. Boon Boons, who loves the broom brooms.

And this isn't like stuff they're doing together. He just might have a personal thing. She might have a personal thing. He might have a work thing. She's got her work things. It's all in there. It was quite something. So you and your boyfriend calendar your entire social life?

Yeah. Like tonight, what's he doing? He's going to motorbikes. Yeah, he's going to a motorbike launch. Are you? Your mic's not working. You're on another mic. Someone's.

Hello. There we go. There we go. So tonight he's going to a motorbike launch event. So yeah, I know that that starts at a certain time and I know where he's going to be. But you're not invited to this event? No.

Right. But would he have put this in so that you didn't double book him for a couple's event and then later on you could get shitty at him when he couldn't go last minute? Yeah, exactly. Because that's what happens, right? I know of another couple that do this. They have a joint iCalendar or Google Calendar. And yeah, they'll put stuff in there. Colour-coded?

Colour-coded. Ooh, was yours colour-coded? No, I did that for a bit and then I got lazy. But yeah, well, it works really well. Because, I mean, obviously in this job, I have to be hyper-organised. And then it gets to the weekends and I'm like, what are we doing at 8.57?

Yeah. Which is quite unnatural. You say to him, you can talk for four minutes, but you've got to finish talking so we can play the ads before the news happens. Yeah, bun buns, wrap it up. Let's tighten this chat. Come on, let's go.

So yeah, no, it works really well. Because obviously he travels a lot for work, I travel a lot for work, so it's good to know when the other person's not going to be there. It's good stuff. I highly recommend it. That is good. I'm terrible.

I calendar my own life very densely. My calendar, it's like brings the heebie-jeebies to anyone. I'm full of lines. Oh, wow. You've got a lot of stuff there. Oh, what is that? A lot of stuff. But when it comes to relationships, we're just like ships in the night.

And then we'll just say, what's your day today in the morning? Yeah. Yeah, I've got this huge thing. And you're like, oh, I didn't know that. Oh, okay. I told you. But I told you about it. No, I've got this huge thing. And you're like, oh, I didn't know that. Oh, okay. I told you, but I told you about it. No, I don't think you did. That's what, I only send Sade Aikal reminders

for things I know later on she's going to deny I ever told her about. I just use this sort of nagging technique of just repeatedly saying it all the time. Don't forget we've got the thing. Don't forget about that. Don't forget we're going to do that. Right.

We thought we'd open up the phones today. We want to take your calls. How organized are you and your partner? Like, how planned out are you? Like, are you doing this calendar thing? Or is this an anomaly? My friend Johnny's just messaged him and his partner Boots. That's just her nickname.

Okay. She wasn't named Boots. Boots McGee. Boots McGee. Apparently she liked Boots when she's just her nickname. Okay. She wasn't named Boots. Boots McGee. Apparently she liked Boots when she was a kid. They've got a shared calendar and he said it bloody works ideal. They know what they're up to.

Each other are up to. Now, I'm not saying it was them because they trust each other implicitly, but for some people, do you think it would be a trust thing? Yeah, I was going to say. It's none of your business what I'm up to some of the times, Aaron. I mean, you live together. For all intents and purposes, we're married,

but none of your business. None of your business. Where are you going? None of your business. So 0800-DARZITM, we want to know if this is a minority thing or lots of people do this. How organised are you and your partner?

Do you share a calendar? Maybe you go old school and you write it on a calendar. Oh, we had that growing up by the phone on the wall. There was the calendar of everything that was happening. Mum would write on the calendar.

Or reminders on the fridge even. This is what we're doing tonight. This is the week. Planner on the inside of the toilet door. Sure. I've seen that one. When you're sitting down,

you're taking in what's coming up. We're talking about how organized you and your partner are in life. Perhaps there's a shared iCal. Bonus points for color coding. Yeah, a Google calendar that you can just both go into and change. Sends you a little reminder an hour before or a day before that you've got an event or an appointment or a social function to attend. And if it works for you. I'm surprised your wife doesn't have a shared calendar with you to remind you.

Or does she just do it manually when you get home? Yeah. Or an hour before. She's like, let's go. Get ready. Yeah. I always do that. She'll be like, we've got that thing tonight.

I'll be like, oh, I didn't want to. You've known about it for weeks. I was like, yeah, funnily enough, didn't change my mind into wanting me to go anymore. So some text messages in on it. Somebody said, my partner and I absolutely do not have any form of organization. We actually say to people, don't bother asking us until now before you need us. So imagine that you've got like a dinner party and you're like, dinner party this Saturday. No, no, don't tell us.

But then another couple that turns up with garlic bread. I mean, garlic bread's an essential thing, but it's not a main dish to bring into a dinner party. Yeah, or like a $3 pull apart. You know what I mean? You're like, okay, guys. And then you stop inviting them and maybe that's what they wanted all along.

Yeah, someone slow cooked a leg of lamb. It's not good. So how organised are you and your partner? We'll get to your calls and texts next. We're talking about how organised you and your partner are. Yeah, is there an iCal or a Google equivalent of calendars? You get little reminders of joint events? Yeah.

Or maybe even just a reminder of your partner's schedule? Well, yeah, we found this out at Executive Intern Anya. She runs a calendar not just for us here at work. No. But the social life. It's all calendared. You must have lots of calendars on the go because you've got the work one, the relationship one, and your

own personal one, I imagine? Well, it's all the same one. I just have many different events in there. God, I'd get some colour coding on that. Yeah. But then I know you guys won't be going to a motorbike launch, so the event's quite self-explanatory. Excuse i'm new you don't know me that well okay he's a real badass she's run with the hell's angels you'll be more of a common chair i reckon there's a little fun

fact about me i'm in a bike game uh tracy how organized are you and your partner? We have to have a dual approach to life with calendars. We've got a wall calendar so that my husband can see it visually because he can't use his phone because he's hopeless. But then we also have a joint shared calendar on our phones

that allows me to send him alerts and reminders going, leave now! Leave now! Otherwise you're going to miss your appointment because he needs me to hold his hand through the day to make sure he gets where he needs to be. Is it hard being married to a 65-year-old? Yeah. Yeah, it kind of is.

Must be older because my dad's 65 and he's actually very handy with the phone. Yeah, no, fair call, fair call. If he's older, it might be a bit of money in it for you. He could teach my husband a few things. That'd be awesome. How old is your husband? 40. But he's never just been into tech.

He knows how to make a phone call and send a text message, and that's about the level of his capability. Tracey, I feel you there. I feel you there. My partner's the same, Trace, honestly. He's analogue. Do you have a joint Facebook account, Tracey? No, but I do need to remember all his passwords.

He is, like, seriously a boomer beyond his years. That's amazing. He really is. He really is. Hey, Tracey, thanks for your call. Connor, you and your partner, super organised. Hi, guys. First time caller.

Oh! There's another part to that, Connor. First time caller. Oh! There's another part to that, Connor. Long time listener. Yes, long time listener. Or a media. Every morning. Oh, good. Well, Connor.

In Wellington traffic. Oh, fantastic. Welcome to the show, Connor. Now, you and your partner, you're very organised. Oh, we have to be. Okay. My partner has ADHD, so when someone has ADHD,

they can forget things very quickly because they're just thinking about 50 things at once. So it's actually really good for him to write it down in the calendar. So not only that, he's actually remembering it by writing it and that way he gets a reminder before the event. And it's just,

it's a lifesaver for anyone that has ADHD. And he shares this calendar with you? Yeah, he sure does. Wow. So we actually found this out from a therapist who works with ADHD. Oh, so this was like their kind of tip to get like things a bit organised

and not forgotten. Yeah, exactly. Because otherwise he will totally forget. I'll be like, oh, you know, we got that thing tonight. Oh, we're doing dinner at my parents'. Oh! Have a double walking.

See, that's when the calendar's handy. Brilliant. Hey, Connor, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. We've got a shared calendar for our mutually shared things like car services, dinner parties, events, et cetera. Everything else I do on my own personal calendar. Pre-COVID, I used to export my Air New Zealand roster

to a separate calendar that I shared with friends and family so they could see what I was doing and where I was and then not invite me to things if I wasn't in town because then I felt like I was missing out. Oh, that's nice. Is anybody else super jazzed at all this organising? I love it. I love it.

I love a spreadsheet. You know, I love to spreadsheet my life. Bourne's likeof I cannot relate Somebody else said we did this And it was a real wake up call to the fact That we were working a lot but not really Putting much time towards social anythings Because we colour coded it

So all like say you colour code with red For work the schedule was all red And there wasn't a lot of blue for socialising For example It's also a good idea ZM's Fletch Warner Megan The podcast was all red and there wasn't a lot of blue for socialising, for example. It's also a good idea. Yeah, it's got a bit of a balance. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Fletch Warner Megan with Hayley Sproul.

Refund your date. Katie joins us for Refund Your Date today. She's going to tell us a story of a less than pleasant dating experience and how much that cost her. And then we may choose to financially reimburse her if the date refund of $2,000 deems it worthy. Yes, yes, yes. All right, Katie, good morning.

Good morning. All right, so let's start from the start. What happened? So I met this guy on Tinder and we were chatting for a few weeks because we lived in different cities, so got to know each other pretty well. And then he came down to where I was living and we decided to go out for dinner. And so we met up for dinner, all was going well.

And then halfway through dinner, he got a phone call from his mum and his mum asked to have a chat with me. What? I politely declined because I thought that was a bit weird. And then he said to me, we finished dinner, and he said, you pay for this. We'll go watch a movie. And I was like, yeah, no worries.

I can pay, not a problem. And then we went to the movies, and he was like, you pay for the movies, I'll get the snacks. I was like, okay, all good. That's not even split. Especially when, like, two movie tickets I was like, okay, all good. That's not even split. Especially when like two movie tickets is like 30 bucks. Yeah. Although it's been for your soul, the snacks.

Yeah, depending on what he got though, he might have skinted. He might have. And then so I was waiting, he went to the bathroom and I went into the movies because the movie was starting. I was like, I'll get us a seat. I'll go in, he can bring the snacks in. Yep. And he showed up

empty-handed with no snacks and then halfway through the movie he turned to me and he was like i need to leave now because i need to go tuck my mom into bed what what hang on there's what happened wow there was so much. What happened? Wow. There was so much to break down here. And then what did you say to that? I was like, oh. Oh, okay. She's like, yeah, I'm sorry.

Like, it's a normal, like, routine if I'm here, like, visiting my family. I'll just tuck my mum into bed and left. Okay. Okay, you know what? You're dodging a bullet here. Dodging a big bullet, yeah. You're dodging a bullet here Dodging a big bullet You're dodging a bit You've lost a bit of money

Yeah but you do not Want to be part of this family No No And then The night Like the next day He messaged me

He's like Did you want to catch up again I was like No Definitely not Or not if it's my mum's Nap nap time No

And then Yeah for the next few nights When he was In the same city as I was in, he kept on asking if I wanted to catch up. It's a hard no. I never saw him again, so I have to say the least. So in between him being, acting honestly like a straight up weirdo,

did you have any good banter? Yeah, he was a really nice guy. Like, I mean, and he was, he was like nearing 30 as well and so, like, should have his business and everything like that

and I was like. He had it together but that's the thing with mummy's boys, always very nice, aren't they? Yeah. Always very nice.

They're looking for a new mummy. A new mummy. What? Was she sick or? No, because I asked him, I was like,

oh, like, is everything okay? Like, you know, double checked that everything was all right. But everyone was safe and well and nothing had happened. And it was just a standard thing that he'd do when he was visiting. Right, because that was my first thought is, oh, she's elderly or she's invalid or something. But she's not.

She's fine. She can tuck herself in. She can definitely tuck herself in. Read herself a bedtime story. Oh, my God. That is some creepy stuff. And not paying for sort of a single thing. I mean, look, I'm all down for feminism.

I'll pay for myself. That's what I thought. I was like, I've got a job. I can pay for this. Happy to pay. But then just to keep saying, you pay for this, you pay for that. That's a mummy-sonny relationship. Yeah, because he's used to mum paying for everything.

Mummy pays all the time, yeah. I wish you'd had the chat with her now. I wish when you'd been offering the chat, you'd had the chat with her. Maybe a little bit of insight. We could have delved deeper. What do you think she would have said to you? Like, you watch my son. He's mine.

Yeah, my thoughts were your intentions. I was like, oh my gosh, I've just met the man. Like, I don't know. Don't you take his VV? I'm going to sex him up. His VV. I'm going to sex him up good. He's going to get so much of the sex.

Normally it's the other way around. It's the overbearing fathers that are like, you get your hands on my daughter. Yeah. So you paid for dinner and you paid for the movies. How much did you pay it all up? $120. $120 on Mummy's

Boy. Vaughn, are you going to feed this? Yeah, I'll feed this. I'll tell you already this sounds pretty positive for a refund, but I'll feed it into the date refund request. $2,000. Approved. It says approved there on the screen. There you go. Fantastic.

Congratulations. $120 all yours. And you dodged that bullet. That's the main prize here. Definitely. Thanks, guys. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Nobody loves a challenge more than TikTok loves a challenge.

I've never done a TikTok challenge, but I hear they're not that challenging. And there's one that's trending at the moment called the silhouette challenge. Have you seen it? I have heard that it's not gone well. It hasn't gone well, Vaughan. You have heard correct, Vaughan.

So it's called the silhouette challenge and they use a filter, a red light filter, and they sort of pose against a wall, some kind of sexy pose, and they put this filter on and it makes their body into a silhouette against this red light. The videos, and people do videos and they dance and they look amazing. They look absolutely incredible.

People are dancing, people are making poses. Some people are giving the silhouette of their entire nude body, which is absolutely fine and it's fine on TikTok because it's filtered and we're not seeing any bits. Until now. Until now. Yeah, this is the warning. So people have worked out

how to remove said filter and reveal basically, essentially the raw picture behind the filter. So if you say, pop in your booty in an archway and you're all out, they can remove that and reveal. What you were wearing.

In a lot of cases, it's nothing. And what you weren't wearing. Exactly. So it's pretty dangerous. If you go on YouTube, there are thousands. There are. Like just looking, these videos have had tens of thousands of views. How to remove the red silhouette.

Yeah. By, like, downloading an app and changing, like, the colour exposure and stuff like that. Yeah, and now it's sort of a question about, you know, because there's some of that old rhetoric of, like, well, if you didn't want your naked body online, then you shouldn't have done it. But technically they didn't put their naked body online, did they? Yeah, and it's raising the conversation of consent because that's not what they consented to. They consented to an artistic version of a photo.

And yeah, now people are talking about the fact that that is not at all what they consented to. It would be like saying it's okay if they use the footage of when you're on Police 107, but as long as they blur your face and disguise your voice and then somebody takes all that off and then they rebroadcast it non-filtered. It wasn't your intent for release of content. Or you're on Police 107

and they digitally remove your clothes and you're naked. You didn't consent to that. I don't know if TV2's got that technology. I sure hope they don't. I mean, remove top. With deepfakes, it's not too far away. Right. It's not.

No. Or they could just put your head on a naked body. That's happened before, eh, for people when they've had just their, like a picture of them, their head photoshopped onto a naked body and they're like, nudes leaked. And you them, their head photoshopped onto a naked body. They're like, nudes leaked.

And you're like, my breasts aren't that great. Yeah. That was big. That was big currency in the early 2000s. Yeah. But yeah, some of those deep fake things are pretty scary. Could we turn this on the people removing the filters and trying to publicly shame people? So we put up a sexy silhouette, but it's a cardboard cutout. Now in front of that

sexy silhouette, we hide a naked man. Hand. Wait, is it like that show where they have to do the same shape as the cutout? Yeah, yeah. So the naked man has to get into the same, has to hide behind the naked. Or as in front of it

because the camera's there and then when they remove the filter, they're expecting to see a voluptuous naked lady but it's this naked man being like, ha ha. But that sort of feels unsolicited as well.

Oh God, we've unsolicited the unsolicitor. Yeah, no, but it's their fault because they're being creepy. They went searching for it.

I'm not even to two wrongs make a right. Ah, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. And then we won't be able to see each other naked at all, will we? Consensual or non-consensual because we all have no eyes. Yeah, and then who's happy?

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. has Europe's largest banana plantation. That, my friend. Don't you Google, don't you Google, don't you Google, don't you Google. Would it be in what country in Europe? Would it be like, it'd have to be a Spain or something, wouldn't it? Like in a hot bit. It will be in a hot bit. Europe, though, famously hot.

Oh, no, actually, no. There's some cold bits in there. Very cold bits. It's hot bits, cold bits. It would have to be near the equator, wouldn't it? Is any of that near the equator? Nah. I've got the answer in front of me. You've fallen right into my trap.

No, here we go. It's the exact opposite. It'd be like England or something. It's Iceland. What? Iceland has Europe's largest banana plantation. They also grow all of their own strawberries, tomatoes, cucumbers and bananas. Because of all their sun? So, in the summer months, they get a lot of sun. Yeah.

But still not crazy warm. That's what bananas need. They need a tropical climate. Like even here in the warmer parts of New Zealand, very hard to grow a banana. Even up north. Your tropical islands, that's where your bananas grow. Yeah.

Like you said, close to the equator. However, Iceland does use the light of the summer months. However, it is their geothermal warmth that they use. Iceland, lots of volcanoes, lots of natural hot springs.

I've never been, but it's definitely on my list. That's what I was thinking. We've got geSM or Wonderlands. You've got that hot stretch between Rotorua and Taupo. So let's open a farm. A banana farm. What are they called?

Plantations. You effectively build a big greenhouse. Yeah. Which there's those in New Zealand, the market garden places. New Zealand loves a greenhouse. We fill them with all sorts of stuff. Lovely, yeah. I mean, there's probably a few greenhouses around Rotorua that...

Oh, no, actually the harvest season, wouldn't it? Getting towards it. I don't know. Don't look at me. Neither. So they build a big greenhouse and they use the warmth from the GFM vents to keep it at a hot temperature. Right.

And then they, in the summer months, as you said, they have pretty much daylight all day. And that's when they'll really get cranking. But in the winter months, they can continue to grow due to the geothermal warmth and the power produced quite cheaply by geothermal power production, they can power lights to keep a UV sort of a faux sunlight keeping this stuff growing. Sounds like a lot of effort when you can get a couple of container ships from Ecuador with cheap bananas.

Yeah. But Iceland, resilient, resilient buggers. Okay. So they can grow it all up there. So today's fact of the day is Europe's largest banana plantation is in one of its coldest countries So today's fact of the day is Europe's largest banana plantation is in one of its coldest countries in Iceland. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Our producer, Jared, went and got the teeth looked at. He's his middy. She works at the dentist. So that was the in. That was the final, like that was what finally got you in. Yeah. To sort out your teeth.

Yep. Yep. She finally convinced me. You need to start working on Vaughan. Maybe I need to get a shot at a job at the dentist. Do not go to the dentist. Oh, he's still rocking a temporary tooth cover from 10 years ago. Vaughan, you're going to go every six months.

Oh, this is not a warrant of fitness. It is. You are practically a clapped out Honda. It genuinely is a warrant of fitness. I'm a classic. Are you? I'm a classic. I'm running on spare parts. You can get dental

subscriptions. You pay it off bit by bit and then you pay nothing when you go. Tell me how much the dentist has cost me over 10 years. Nothing. It's about to cost you a lot. Yeah, well, we'll see. Emma has actually brought it up multiple times since she met you that she's very

worried about your teeth and you need to get your crown sorted. You tell her not to worry. Old Smithy's going strong. Just for now. Blending up my food. It was when you were in the dentist chair that you received an unusual compliment. Yeah, apparently I've got really nice teeth

and some deep roots. Ooh! You want deep roots on your teeth, eh? You want them holding on. Yeah, mine are a bit shallow. Constantly wiggly. You've got shallow roots. You want a couple of them.

What, they're not wiggly? Yeah. Do they tighten up again? This is terrible. So I've got a wire on the back of my teeth because I have my teeth straightened. But if you remove the wire,

these two teeth, I can go wiggle, wiggle, wiggle because I've got super short roots. Nothing you can do about it except to try to stop your gums receding because the more it recedes, it's going to show that tip soon. I learned all about a thing called pockets yesterday. Oh, I know about pockets.

What are pockets? It's like a pocket around the bottom of your teeth. So if your teeth are wiggly, you've got like a certain size pocket. Right. And it's not good to have big pockets. You guys need to floss harder. I floss on a daily. Keep those gums swollen and holding those teeth. And it's not good to have big pockets. You guys need to floss harder. I floss on the daily.

Keep those gums swollen and holding those teeth. See, if you floss regularly, your gums don't swell. That's a result of you not flossing enough. Okay, well, don't floss regularly and then floss really hard. Okay, please don't listen to Vaughan when dishing out dental advice. Deep roots, that's nice. That's what I'd want to hear. Do you think they just say that to all the patients, though? Nah.

I think I got specially singled out. Did you not say, I bet you say that to all the boys? I should have. Definitely should have. But, you know, you've got nice teeth and roots. That's quite an odd compliment. I think saying to somebody, of course you've got nice teeth. That's normal.

Yeah. But when they get in, they're looking at the inside of your teeth. Yeah. And they say that. They've got like a structural x-ray of my teeth. when they get in, they're looking at the inside of your teeth. Yeah. And they say that. They've got like a structural x-ray of my teeth and they're like, yeah. And they still were on side with them. This guy's got some healthy teeth. It's not just a fancy facade.

Yeah. It's a strong foundation and a nice root. Yeah. To say you've got nice roots, it's a little odd. Yeah. But hey, it's a compliment and you take it, don't you? I often get complimented on my eyelids. So not my eyes. So you know when people say you've got beautiful eyes it, don't you? Yeah, I often get complimented on my eyelids. So not my eyes.

So you know when people say you've got beautiful eyes. I don't get that often. But I've got a lot of lid. Can you close your eyes just... So the space between my eyelashes to my brow... It's a really good space. ...is a lot of space. And so a lot of makeup artists are like, what a canvas.

Do I have that space? Why are you pulling my face? Why are you pulling that face? Why are you doing that? Have you ever shut your eyes before? Was that your first time shutting your eyes? I was trying to make more space because I don't think I have enough space. No. No, yours is smaller.

And also because I talk with my eyebrows up a lot, so I really extend that space. So I've got a lot of... You do have a big space there. I've got a lot of big eyelids. And it's not like a number of people have said, gosh, you've got lovely eyelids. Eyelids. That's an odd compliment.

Really odd. But take it. Put it in the bag. Yeah, no, take it. So this is what we want to do. We want to ask you what is the weirdest compliment you've had. But you've taken it because it's a compliment. Maybe it was a backhanded compliment.

Take it. Take it. Like when people are like, you've got it because it's a compliment. Maybe it was a backhanded compliment. Take it. Take it. Like when people are like, you've got an old soul. You're like, oh, I'm not boring. Is that what that means? Yeah. You're an old soul. It's just like you're wise beyond your years.

You're a nana. Yeah, you're a nana. You're a boomer. Yeah, exactly. In a young person's body. Exactly. We are talking about those unusual compliments that you've had. Producer Jared has lovely teeth roots and teeth, inside teeth bits.

Yeah. Not just a nice smile, but just all the teeth. His teeth are nice structurally. Yes. So he's taken that on board, and as you would, a lovely compliment, but an odd one. Marty, what is the unusual compliment you've received oh i just uh got my sperm oh okay yeah is it good tell us what about

it is good i just just got told it was it was above average congratulations yeah yeah yeah Yes! Congratulations! Congrats! Yeah, yeah, mate. That's right, that's right. You know, we got a couple of kids to IVF and right at the start had to get the old tests done and she's like, yeah, no, you've got above average sperm. So I got her to write that down on her business card. I carried that around in my wallet for a couple of years. I bet you did, yeah. God, yes.

Put that on your LinkedIn. I'm Marty, this is my head. I have above average sperm. Marty, I bet you do, yeah. God, yes. Put that on your LinkedIn. I'm Marty. This is my head. I have above average spirit. Marty, just keep on swimming, mate. Wow, that's brilliant. Thanks for your call, Marty. Metin, like the gloves. Yes, like the gloves.

You received an unusual compliment. Yes, I did. So I was visiting the radiologist. And so beforehand, they sort of asked me to drink a bunch of water. I think like a litre or so. Okay. So yeah, I went to the radiologist. We did the old scan.

And she basically said, wow, you're like holding like a heck of a lot of urine. Like possibly more than she's ever seen. Oh, wow. Wow, so you've got a voluminous bladder. possibly more than she's ever seen. Oh, wow. Wow, so you've got a voluminous bladder. Yeah, yeah, something like that. Oh, that's a pick-up line if ever I did hear one. Hey, Mitra, you're holding a lot more urine than everyone else. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And then, yeah, so they asked me to like pass it after,

and then they do like another scan. And she basically said, oh, wow, you really emptied your bladder really well as well. Wow, bladder controller, bladder controller. Was she flirting with you? Was she flirting? I'm not too sure

to be honest. She might have been but it's a bit of a strange way to flirt, right? So if you go out drinking, do you not break the seal all night? Oh,

not, I wouldn't say that. I can hold a fair bit though. Yeah, you can go to the movies and drink a big Coke Zero and say through the whole thing. Putting your mitt in.

Thanks for your call. We'll take more of your calls and text sexy unusual compliments. Some weird ones coming in. We're talking about when you've received an unusual compliment. There are some great stories coming through. Some text messages. I got told I suited acne. What?

Which is? An unusual compliment? Yeah. Oh, it's... Is it a compliment though? No. After an oldies exercise class, I heard one of the ladies

tell her friend that I'd make a lovely granddaughter. That's... Oh, yeah. That's high praise. That's a good one. I constantly get told I smell good

and I always get asked when I showered last. Because you smell delicious get told I smell good And I always Always get asked When I showered last Because you smell delicious Because I smell good Yeah somebody else said I was once complimented On the smell of my skin Specifically

The person then proceeded To grab my arm And sniff up and down The skin No I kind of get that one I get that one I got a nice smelling skin Yeah

Alright Armie Hammer Don't eat me It's a bit creepy Yeah Returned from Dunedin Uni Just recently Okay And an old family friend Greeted me Yeah. All right, Army Hammer, don't eat me. It's a bit creepy. Ugh. Yeah. Returned from Dunedin Uni just recently. Okay. An old family friend greeted me at the door to say, you look strong and healthy.

That's not a no, no, no. That's the worst. That's some uni kgs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the halls of residence past the situation. Hannah, what's the unusual compliment that you got? Well, during an ultrasound, the ultrasound tech complimented me on my beautiful ovaries. Oh, look at you.

Nice ovaries. I carry that with me. I bet you do. I've got hideous ovaries. I'm very envious. That's beautiful. What makes beautiful ovaries? I have absolutely no idea.

I reckon just like good size, lovely and smooth. Yeah. Symmetrical, baby. Symmetrical. The follicles are... Brilliant. Hey, Hannah. The fallopian tubes meet at the intersection of fallopian and ovary.

Oh, beautiful. Hannah, thanks for your call. Monique, what was the unusual compliment you received? I have very slim air canals. Oh. I know, thank you. You don't have big, fat, gaping air canals, eh? No, not like my bum.

Like I have lovely slim ones, you know? So I like that. I don't have anything else that ever gets complimented on being slim. Do you have problems with like-ear headphones or plugs? No, no, because the outside's fine, but it's the slimmer inside ear canal. You do? Yeah.

You can't notice it. Is there a benefit to a slim ear canal? Not. Well, I had to go get it checked because I keep getting blocked ears when you swim. You know how you do a flip in the pool and your ear goes all funny and then it gets all blocked? Yeah, when you have a bit of whack. So you've taken slim as a compliment, but it almost sounds like a

hindrance. It does, yeah, but I don't care because I've got slim ears now. Just like a word. That's good. Bank it. Wow. Hey, Monique, thanks for your call. Some other text messages on compliments you've received. I was told in a bar once that I have a sexy bottom lip.

No word on the upper lip. Just the bottom one met their stringent criteria. I think you've got quite a sexy bottom lip, Fletch. Okay, do I? Do I? You're really taking him back by that weird compliment. Are you just mocking my bottom lip? No, I was just sort of thinking like, oh, that's a weird thing to look at. And then you caught my eye and I thought.

He looked at yours. Good lip. Because you don't really have a bottom lip, do you? It just kind of goes here into mouth. Oh, yeah, here to mouth hole. Here to mouth hole. So it's not accented much, your bottom lip. No, no.

Somebody else said, the doctor said I've got a long. Is that a compliment? A long vahine. Now, he said it, he sounded complimentary in his tone, but I'm not sure it is a compliment. Oh, you've got a long... How would you take that if a doctor said to you you had a long vahine? I don't know if it's a compliment or not. Does it mean depending on what you use?

It comes up to the belly button. Your canal is long, right? Long. Long doesn't mean wide. No. No, that's true. Wide would necessarily not be a compliment either. Oh, no.

Okay, let's move on. I just think all comments during gynecological appointments should be banned. So many people getting comments during the gyno, though. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, lovely cervix. Somebody said, I've been told lovely cervix. Apparently my, sorry, I've lost the text message, but there was a cervix that was heart-shaped.

Could a cervix be heart-shaped? Oh, no, uterus. I've got a heart-shaped uterus. Yeah, heart-shaped. It was a uterus. Yeah. I've been told I've got lovely strong calf muscles. They're an ex-marching girl so we get told this a lot

Oh my god, I have calf muscles that Jonah Lomu himself would have wanted It's a marching muscle. It's a marching thing because when you mark time you go like this and you flex your calf and you do that over and over for your whole life A person once told me I've got lovely thick nostrils

It's not a compliment. I still don't wear all that. I felt like it was a great compliment. They haven't been getting on the old Charlie. They're nice and thick. No, very thick. Good luck getting that deviator septum worn down. I've been told that I have really evenly descending size of toes.

I get that. Not like my toes. Finger toes. You're long? Signific not like my toes. Oh, your second toes. Your long? Significantly longer, like a knuckle longer than his big toe. I can peel a banana.

I'm long in the toe. Oh, you can peel, okay, mine's not. Mine aren't that long. It's long. It's pretty nasty. I've been told on cervix compliments,

I was told mine was nice and plump. Yeah. You want a spongy, plump cervix. Do you? Yeah, you do. I don't. There's another one. My guy told me I have a very bulky uterus,

but apparently it's good, but it did not feel like a compliment. Bulky? A bulky uterus. Bulky as never. How did you describe it just now? Spongy, plump. Spongy and plump.

It's better than bulky. Yeah. All right. Okay, anyway. Spongy and plump It's better than bulky Alright okay anyway ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast Why not give ZM's Free and Clint a listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app Or wherever you get your podcasts And you say what lives here

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