ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th June 2020

Episode Date: June 3, 2020

This is Why I'm Fat  Jacinta Gulasekharam from Dignity NZ    Rhys Darby  What did you demand your parents buy for you?  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums NameSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Oh yeah, and what day is it? Christ. Thursday. Okay. This has felt like a very long week.

Don't get your heart done by, you're the punish around here. I'm not the punish. Like, what day is it? I was just saying I was trimming some trees. And then I got dragged for wanting to go home and get a job done. For nipping out of work when we're done. Not hanging around, chit-chatting, wasting time. Wow.

This is the narrative we're spinning, is it? And then I got dragged for having trees. What? And then I said, no, you're welcome. My trees are providing you crucial oxygen. This is not how it went. And then Megan's like, you didn't plant them. I said, no, but I could have just ripped them all out.

You said, I have to leave. I've got heaps to do. I do have heaps to do. And then you came today and said it's because you were trimming trees. Yeah, but it needs to be done. Yeah, but you're assuming that none of us have anything else to do. Your time is so valuable. No, I'm getting us all out of here on time.

No, I didn't demand to leave here before everybody. Then you come in and you're like, you're welcome. My trees are providing you with oxygen. That's a fact. You don't plant those trees. Yeah, but I am their caretaker now. They fall under my- You spent yesterday cutting them down.

Trimming them, Megan, so that they would grow in a more safe place and not need to be cut down because they would affect the power lines. I have ordered you a cape. You'll be pleased to know. Well, I can't use that because I'm getting a chipper and I don't want to get caught in because I would get sucked into the chipper. You've missed the Queen's birthday honours list, but hopefully next year you'll get one for providing us all oxygen with all your trees.

I think so. Queen's service medal, Vaughan Smith. I think so. Providing us oxygen. And the grass. Don't forget the grass. Yeah, and the grass too. It's a big oxygen producer.

I mean, your farm animals are polluting the waterways. They aren't because we aren't near any waterways. And there's no runoff and I'm not fertilising. So stick that up your ass, Greens. Not the Greens party. They seem lovely. You particularly. I was calling you Greens

I don't want to I don't want to Alright I don't want to Anger Chloe Swarbrick No On the show today There's a lot of time for it

On the show today Reece Darby Joins us to talk about His new show He'll be on the phone What trees do you think Reece Darby's got? I reckon that they have a few

I reckon I reckon he put his Concord's money Into a forestry block. We can ask him. I don't think he claims oxygen, though. You're welcome for the oxygen. But I'll claim the conversion of carbon dioxide to oxygen. We'll talk to him about his new show.

You didn't do that either. My tree's doing Megan. Vaughan, stop it. We're going to talk to Rhys Darby about his new show where he goes to Japan to experience life in Japan. The top six is coming up. Facebook have launched

a new tool to mass delete old posts. Yes. Which for those of us that have plenty of Facebook photos in the past

is a great tool. Oh God, I'm glad that there wasn't Facebook when I was a teenager. But there's people listening who would have been. Yeah. And you may have some stuff you want to delete. The top six types of posts you might want to use that

tool to delete. Alright, it's coming up in the top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A study that looked into the importance of a father's presence in a baby's life has been done and there's been some interesting points that have come out from this. So 715 families were studied and they looked into families where the dad,

they lived separately. And then when they lived together, they were interviewed at five different stages, the families. And they have found that babies who look like their dads were found to be healthier. Oh, that's Vaughn. Healthier. You look like your dad.

I do look like my dad. You look like your dad, I think. You're a cross between your mum and your dad. You got your mum's attitude. No offence, Bev. But you look like your dad. Yeah, right. Definitely your father's son. I don't look like my dad, do I? I look more like my mum,

I think. You got your dad's shoulders. Do you want to die today? Do you want to die? A myriad of other things, but I just thought that would be like the good, like, just to drop and leave. And you did, big old.

Oh, you'd hope not. But, um, no, you don't. No. But. You just wait until these microphones go off. Oh, shit. Born's in trouble. What I really think.

Guys, don't go home, because when you leave, my mum's going to tell me I'm real bad. You just stay over as long as you can. No, you do look like Ray Ray. You do look like your mum. Have I saved that enough? You definitely have. You can tell your dad's your dad. It's a hybrid.

And your brother looks like... No, because you and your brother look quite similar. And you both look like your mum and your dad. But you can tell that you... Ouch! God, how many insults do you want to get in one break? I don't think it was an insult. Oh, you're genetically...

Yeah. You said I look like my brother. Yeah, but he should be taking your attitude to this as an insult. Not necessarily my saying your family looks like you. As they do. Well, yeah. And do your daughters... I reckon your daughters are pretty hybrid,

both of you as well. I wouldn't say they look more like, oh, Augie. Sometimes you'll hear, it's just maybe more of their facial expression. Oh, they look really like Sade and that photo.

Yeah, and it's more Augie's personality that's you. Adorable. So if you look like your dad. If you look more like your dad, and it does go for male and female babies, they have fewer, over the first year of life, had fewer cases of illness,

asthma attacks, visits to the emergency room. They spent less time in hospitals. And, yeah, they were much healthier in the first year of life. Do you know another little tidbit? That's crazy. I know. They don't explain why. How many did they use?

715 families. That's a big sample, isn't it? Yeah. They also found that fathers tend to spend more time with their child if the child looks like them. That's rough. Really, that's rough. An extra two and a half days a month. What?

If the baby looks more like them. And what if they leave? Two and a half days a month. What? If the baby looks more like them. And what if they leave? Two and a half days a month. Yeah. Over a year adds up to pretty much a month. Yeah. It's a lot of time. Wow.

You've got two kids. One looks like you, the other doesn't. You're like, well, I'll tell you who I'm spending my time with. Yeah. So they involve themselves more in childcare and chores and spend more time with the child if it looks like them. Wow. Oh, my God.

Yeah. That is so rough. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A bit of a warmer start for the country today. South Island in single digits, but the North Island, pretty warm this morning. 19, do you know it's 19?

What? 19 degrees in Gisborne right now. Huh. Someone must have lit a fire beside the weather station. That is why they call it the Bahamas of the North Island. That's what they're always calling it. They're always calling it that. Always. Dan Carter, if you Google

Dan Carter in blues, you get 86 million results. Okay. Because that's what I've just done. And it took Google only 0.4 of a second. Well done, Google. Well done. Well, all the top stories and news stories,

reading headlines like Dan Carter returns to Super Rugby, Super Rugby Aotearoa, Dan Carter to make shock comeback with Blues, Super Rugby Aotearoa, All Blacks great Dan Carter linked with Blues return, touted to be on the verge of a shock Super Rugby return, and apparently could be aligned with the Blues. Playing? He's like, no, no. He's a cantab.

That will not go down well. His dad, Neville. Oh, we've met him. Lovely man. We've kicked red and black. Gold. I can't imagine. He'll have some explaining to do down the pub of his boy's house playing for the bloody Blues.

But, yeah, Neville, very supportive man, but like. Yeah. They've already got that Barrett boy. He was from bloody Wellington, wasn't he? And now he played down there and now they've got him. It's just money talks, isn't it, up there? With their bloody lattes and their Range Rovers. So have they said playing or – because he was meant to go to Japan,

wasn't he? But I'm guessing now that's not an option. No. I would guess COVID. Unless you're already there. So, I mean, why not just play another season? Yeah. But for the Blues?

For the Blues? No. I'm a Crusaders girl and I'm not. You're struggling with this. He last played Super Rugby in 2015. Wow. So. See, that sounds so hard.

And him and I are of a similar age, build. That's it. Sporting ability. And I'd say I'd probably get hurt out there. At your age. You're saying he's too old. He's 38. You're right.

In the era of the professional rugby player, that is getting up there. Especially, like, he gets smashed. He's still been playing, though. It's not as if he's coming back from retirement. He should be playing Golden Oldies. Golden Oldies. Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd see Golden Oldies, like, sports, any sports, you'd be like, ha, Oldies.

And now, like, guys I know play golden oldies sport. And it's like, fuck. Do they? It sucks. Yeah, because it's pretty much like over 35, right? As soon as someone is like, my back. What did you just say? My back.

All right, off to golden oldies rugby for you, mate. You can't be playing in here if you're complaining about your back. You kick the ball funny and you're like, oh, no, I've twitched my back. Oh. Oh. Jeez.

I've got a couple of bloody neurofins in the car and the glove box. Can you nip over and get them? Yeah, you're off to the golden oldies. Oh, well, good on him if it's true. Yeah.

No, I'm not okay with that. I'm not okay with that. He's a Crusaders fan. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. From the ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Facebook's going to make it easier to bulk delete old posts.

There is a new feature called manage activity and it lets you delete your old posts or make them so only you can see them. Yeah. But to the rest of the world, they won't exist. Fantastic news. Yeah. Because we've all got stuff from 2010 we should probably have deleted by now. When your memories pop up, you're like, delete.

Oh, man. That guy's a douchebag. Oh, it was me. Fair enough. But then if you can look back and see that you've become a better person, you know. Yeah. That's a step in the right direction. But the top six today is the top six types of posts you'll want to hide with this new Facebook tool.

Okay. Number six, your emo phase. If you're looking back on it. Don't look at me. I never had an emo phase. Yeah,'re looking back on it, it was... Don't look at me. I never had an emo phase. Yeah, you did. You did. She was a goth.

I was not a goth. She was more of a goth. More of a goth. Pre-emo. Yeah. And then she rode the... I wore eyeliner. I think you were just rebelling.

And then I took offense to someone calling me a goth. Goths never like being called goths. Because they didn't like to be put in a box. I wasn't a goth. See, there she goes. Classic goth response. Find a picture of me being called goths because they didn't like to be put in a box. I wasn't a goth. See, there she goes. Classic goth response. Find a picture of me being a goth. I can't.

You've used this tool to hide them all. Number five on the list of the top six types of posts you want to use this new Facebook tool to hide or delete are those photos

you were tagged in that were hilarious at the time. Like the one where you were really, really drunk and fell over and everybody saw your genitals and it's in the photo. I literally got sent one of those the other day.

It popped up in someone else's Facebook timeline with me on the ground and my butt was hanging out. Wow. I was like, can we delete that from your memories? When was that? I don't know. It must have been about eight or nine years ago. Oh, I have been about eight or nine years ago.

Oh, I was thinking like 12 or 13 years ago. Oh, yeah. No. Wow, okay. I was confronting. Yeah. What do you do when it comes to announces? Was that the roller derby phase?

Well, I wasn't playing. It might have been a similar time, but I wasn't like. It wasn't the roller derby girls that did it. No. They were always trying to see your butt. Vaughn's right, they were. Clearly it's pick on me day. No, it's not.

I mean, we can go at Fletch. How many photos of... Oh, they actually got a photo of your genitals. Or at least the part where the penis meets the body. Whatever that's called. Is that called the hilt? I don't know. Why do you have that photo?

The hilt? You took it. Straight down your pants. What? And you... On a photo at a party. Oh, yeah, that's something I would do. Yeah, yeah You took it. Straight down your pants. What? On a photo at a party. Oh, yeah, that's something I would do. Just stick the camera down my pants for a while.

It takes you for a second to be like, what is that? Oh, yeah, okay. Actually, I can picture that in my head now. Yuck. Yuck. Ouch. What would you prefer me to say? I don't know.

Lovely. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Number four on the list of the top six types of posts you want to use this new Facebook tool to delete or hide are some of your less woke posts from the mid to late 2000s. Yeah. That's, yeah. Ooh.

We're learning. We're all learning. I know, and as I said before, at least if you can look back and realise that that wasn't good. You were an idiot. Yeah. Like that profile picture, Fletch, you hit the gully wall. I did not. I'm just kidding.

Jeez. That was the kind of like most fine line thing I could mention without being like really offensive. Yeah. But it's, I mean, it's really offensive, but you obviously didn't have it. So therein lies the non-offensive. Yes. And we have all learnt. Yeah. But it's, I mean, it's really offensive, but you obviously didn't have it. So therein lies the non-offensive. Yes. And we've all learned. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six types of posts you want to use this new Facebook tool to delete or hide, you roll modelling shots. Mostly because that was 18 KGs ago. And you don't need to be reminded. You don't need to be reminded. Use it as your profile picture. That's called catfishing. Yeah, that's catfishing your friends, Megan.

Most of the people on your Facebook feed you don't see every day. They don't know. They knew you when you looked like that, and then they know you when you look like what you look like now, and so they will be like, aw. If that was your profile picture. She's hanging on to something. She's not.

Buddy. Number two on the list of the top six types of posts you want to use this new Facebook tool to hide or delete is the I hate my mum and dad statuses. I never posted it as a teenager, but I'd imagine there'd be quite a few teenagers there who would express their anger at their parents. And now they can see it because everybody's mum and dad's on Facebook now. And now their feelings will be hurt. And number one on the list of the top six types of posts you want to use this new Facebook tool to delete or hide is your ex from that photo-heavy 2008 to 2013 period where every party, there was 18 photo albums from it

and your ex was in all of them. Yeah. So you can just blanket delete or hide those from everybody. That is today's top six. So obviously Sydney restauranteurs and establishments like here in New Zealand have had to bring in social distancing and are facing tough times. And some of them are in the news because they are asking diners to prepay a $100

fee. Some of the top restaurants. Like a bond? Like a bond for dinner. Like a dinner bond. And then that comes off your total bill. These are fancy restaurants, right? Yeah, they are. So they're not like cafes. But they're saying that obviously they're

having to social distance distance so a lot of these restaurants have less space and tables and then people will make a booking and then just not turn up. That's not nice. So you can see that's like fair enough. I don't think I'd mind paying that. Well if you and you, you're going to a fancy

restaurant and it goes towards the bill, right? Yeah. So you're booking everyone for like a BYO or I mean, I can't imagine a BYO would do this, but. No.

But yeah, if you're going to use it anyway, it kind of gives the restaurant some security that people are going to turn up. Because yeah, you set the table aside

so no one else is going to go in there. Because I saw the other day when I was at your cafe, you had a reserve sign on a table. Yeah. The big table, right?

Yeah. Yeah. What's hmm? How long? I didn't know you reserved tables. I would ask you to reserve a table for me. We reserve tables larger than four, like four people. Wait, I don't have more than four friends.

How close to, say I come in and it says reserved on it and I say, what time's that reserved to? And you say 11 o'clock. Yeah. What? How close to 11 o'clock can I use it? Well, that table, actually, that happened at the weekend. So some people came in and were like, can we just sit on the end here?

And we said, well, it is reserved for 11.30, so you can have it up until then. Right. Because as long as they know that at that time, if someone else comes to use it, then they've got to get off. So has anyone done that and then not turned up? No, I was going to say we've never had that happen. We've never had a reservation not turn up.

But I can imagine, especially for an establishment where each table is going to be potentially hundreds of dollars, and then they've reserved it and set it aside, they're going to lose hundreds of dollars. Especially if they're turning away customers. Yeah. Because they've got all their tables either full or reserved. And also the tables at the moment are spaced out.

There's less tables, less people fitting in the restaurants. Every space you have is so important. Yeah. I don't think I'd mind doing that. Are people angry about it? Um, no. Divided. But yeah, I don't think most, yeah, I don't

think people are that upset. Yeah. You went to a BYO, right? What was that like? Because they'll famously pack you in until you're elbow to elbow with a stranger. We were we were like packed in with our friend group, but then way away from everyone else. Okay. Yeah, so they still pack you on a

table, but the table itself is distanced. Yeah. Okay. And then level one. That actually tucked us in a corner. You know when you get tucked in a corner at a BYO? They know you're trouble. They just know you're tucked in the back corner. You look like trouble.

Yeah. It was one of those situations. Right. Were they wrong? No. No, they weren't. I don't like about that because you can't push your chair out away from the table. Right.

You know when you're waiting for the food, I don't want to be sat up real close while I'm waiting. Yeah. I want to push my chair away from the table and relax. Yeah. Maybe put one leg on top of the other leg or cross my legs as some people call it. Yeah, and have your pinot or your chat to the girl. That's not what I thought you were going to say. And have your penis out. That's why I always get sat in corners. No, your pinot grigio. That's why you always get sat to the girl. That's not what I thought you were going to say. And have your penis out. That's why I always get sat in corners.

No, your peno grisio. That's why you always get sat in the corner. You get too comfortable. He's back, the guy that gets his penis out when he's having a peno grisio. So pop him in the corner. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, a lot of people holding out for Air New Zealand refunds. We've got the Duffster on the phone soon.

JD. JD, the Duffster. Oh, I would not want to give this guy bad service. No. Oh, yeah. So he's currently trying to get people their refunds. Consumer NZ doing a marvellous job with this kind of stuff. We're going to chat to him soon.

If you're holding out for a refund, what can you do? He's taking the fight to the... Can I just message him? with this kind of stuff. We're going to chat to him soon. If you're holding out for a refund, like what can you do? He's taken the fight to the... Can I just message him? Because how many times you're like, I'm going to take this to fair go or like I'm going to call JD. But he's not going to give you his phone number. We've got the Duffster's number.

Get bad service, just ring him up and say... We've got really bad service. John, John, John, real mean to me. Can you get me a refund? Yeah, we'll chat to him soon. The government, the Prime Minister yesterday, outlining what level one will look like, and we should be there next week.

They're going to discuss it on Monday, right? Yeah. And then decide. There's 10 golden rules to alert level one. Because it's pretty much going to be this, it's going to be normal life except the borders are shut. Yeah. The dirty grind, Vaughan, you'll be happy to know in the club. It'll be back.

You can dirty grind in the club. I thought the dirty grind was gone for good. That's what I thought. And they want you to keep track of where you've been with the COVID tracing app, but it's not like when you go to a cafe. It's not mandatory. It's not like when you go to a cafe, you have to sign in before they let you in. Yeah.

They just want people to have the QR code on the door so you can keep a personal diary on QR code on the door. Yeah. So you can keep a personal diary on your phone with the COVID tracking app. So the 10 golden rules, some of them just sound like what your mum would say to you. Yeah. Like be kind to others, stay vigilant, keep track of where you've been is something. Yeah. So I mean, yeah, it doesn't have to be right down, hard out, but just keep an idea in your

head of where you've been each day. Businesses should help. If you have an underlying condition, talk with your GP about precautions. Isolate immediately if you're told to do so by authorities. Sneeze or cough into your elbow. Disinfect surfaces. Wash your hands. And if you have cold or flu symptoms, call your doctor.

I think, yeah, that was a big thing because, you know, New Zealanders were like, ah, I'll be right. I'm missing my legs. If you're sick, you still need to stay home, is what they're saying, yeah. Otherwise, next week. Like, if you get a sore throat, you're like, oh, no. Well, that's one of the symptoms, yeah, so you probably should stay home and... Tempt?

Sore throat? Yeah. Any of that jazz. Stay home. And I think the nation's proved it can work from home too, so even if you're feeling a little bit under the weather but could probably still work, you could probably work from home, right? Yeah. Right.

Unless you're a stop-go person. Yeah, that's true. Do that in your lounge, I guess. Unless you get some work and build an app. But then you'd be doing yourself out of a job, wouldn't you? Yeah. Lights. I also think they're called traffic lights.

Gotta imagine if there was something. I was thinking you could stick the pole into like a rotator thing and then push the button. And one end would click around and then give cars sufficient time to pass and then click around. I was like, this is genius. And then I was like, feels like that should exist. Yeah.

And then in my mind I was like, traffic lights. Do you know at the weekend a lot of people got stuck in the Awakeno Gorge just out of New Plymouth because they're doing major roadworks there and they had the automated lights but I think they must have

gone a bit skew-eth and they made everyone go green and then everyone was just like, hey, how do we get out of this? Flying in. Yeah. See,

you can't beat the personal touch. You can't, exactly. Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast the personal touch. You can't, exactly. We're joined on the phone from Consumer New Zealand, the CEO, John Duffy. Good morning. Good morning.

How's it going? Good, thank you. Now, Air New Zealand have got a lot of our money, John. They sure do. How are we getting this back? Well, we're working really hard to try and convince Air New Zealand and the government that refunding consumers who have had flights pulled out from underneath them is the right thing to do.

I'm not sure how much progress we're making at the moment. We've made a little bit. We've managed to convince Air New Zealand to refund some people who are flying to America based on American law. That's the law, isn't it? Yeah, because I got a refund for flights to America, on American law. That's the law, isn't it? Yeah, because I got a refund for flights to America, but that's because it's the law. So otherwise, do you find it weird that it's not the law

that if an airline cancels your flight, they don't have to give you your money back? Isn't that bizarre? It is bizarre, actually. And we're pushing government to fix that up so that next time there's some sort of major event like COVID-19 that consumers aren't left holding the can for airlines. Right, because the airline in New Zealand came out yesterday

and said if we were to open the floodgates and refund those, that would accelerate the requirement to use the government loan. That was $900 million. And we would have to make even more aggressive changes to our cost base. So I'm guessing what they're saying is we'd have to lay more people off or cut things back. Do you think that's like

what a position that is? I mean, look, it's an interesting and delicate position, but what they're saying is, you know, if you translate that a little bit, they've done a whole lot of forecasting to work out what they can afford. That does not take what they owe to consumers into account. So they've looked purely at their revenue and not thought about their customers. And they do have this $900 million loan facility available to them. They could take that earlier if they wanted.

So they could pay back consumers. They could at least, you know, at a minimum, have a look at some of the reasons why consumers need the money back in this. Because I think, based on what we've heard, this is what's really annoyed a lot of people who are owed refunds. In New Zealand, aren't even considering

the circumstances of those individual consumers, and some of them are doing it pretty tough. Well, yeah, people have lost their jobs, and they might have like two grand of flights there. So are holidays off the table? Yeah. But that's the thing, isn't it? Because myself and my wife had flights booked,

but we took the credit because we are luckily still in a position where we can just delay what we were going to do. Yeah. So what percentage of the flights have been refunded? Do you know that? Refunded in the form of credit for future flights? Well, so there's a difference between a refund and a credit. So the little survey that we did of our members, around 2,000 people,

showed that 80% had been offered or forced to take a credit and only 6% had received a refund. Wow. So it's a pretty small percentage, right? Sorry. Sorry, are people able to even use that refund now? Because I saw somewhere they were saying by the end of July they'd have an online facility for people to be able to use their credit.

Is that right? That's the next chapter in this, in that even when you've been forced to take a credit, New Zealand systems are just not up to snuff. And New Zealand finally engaged with the media yesterday and started talking about this and put out an apology to say that they hadn't done well enough. And we agree.

Look, it's very, very difficult for consumers to know, A, where they stand, and B, how to even go about using this credit that they've been forced to take. Should we be cutting them some slack given these circumstances, do you think? Well, I think early on, everyone was cutting them slack and everyone understood that they were doing their best

in really difficult circumstances. But they've handled it really, really badly. There's been no communication as to the rationale behind not considering people's circumstances and offering them refunds where it's appropriate. There's been limited and opaque information on how to use credits. And then, you know, in the case of the flights through America,

there's been some blatantly misleading information put out about consumers' rights. So we ended up making a complaint to the Commerce Commission about that because we felt they were breaching the Fair Trading Act. So right now, if you have flights that aren't into America, there's really nothing you can do at this stage.

Well, if you have a refundable flight, like a fully flexi flight or something like that, you're entitled to a refund and you should push for that refund. Right. Otherwise, you're screwed. Yeah. Yeah. Well, otherwise, you can take the offer of a credit if that works for you. Otherwise, you've lost your money. So do you think if we're giving them nearly a billion dollars of taxpayers' money, we can start demanding things like, you know, a new law from the government that if in the future flights are cancelled, we can get our money back?

Or, you know, like no change fees or two cookies on board? I think the government is already working on or talking very seriously about law change, so I don't think there's anything that Air New Zealand will... I mean, Air New Zealand will want to keep the status quo because it protects them, right? Yeah. Any law change would be inconvenient to them,

but the government seems to be onto it and it's already making noises about law change, so that's good. Nice. All right. Okay, we'll just keep it in New Zealand if you need that refund, I guess. Would be your best bet. Alright.

John Duffy, thank you so much from Consumer NZ. Thanks for fighting the fight. John, I don't know if you have ever listened to the show before but what you've just witnessed is pure passion

on the part of Fletch. He doesn't really ever get this invested in anything we talk about. It's because they changed it. They made me pay a $50 change fee. I'm still pissed about that, John. He's fuming. I'm fuming. Travels his thing.

Well, look, he is not alone. This is one of the biggest issues we've seen in a long time at Consumer. People are really, really upset about this. And the most disappointing thing is New Zealand doesn't seem to realise how upset people are. Right. Because usually at the summer of the year is it fair to say

you're mostly dealing with pyjamas that catch fire when people stand too close to a heater? Not so much anymore but certainly issues like people not being able to heat their flats and things like that. So heating's a big thing at this time of year. Heating and heating yourself by

heading to a tropical island. John Duffy from Consumer New Zealand. Hey, thanks for the chat. Really appreciate it. No worries. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Blackout moment. This is why.

Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. This isn't a product you can buy.

Well, you buy the product, but it's an invention that you can make at home. You've got to make it yourself. But I reckon you could... These are the best ones. You could change this out for so many different things. So, this recipe has been shared. On the share came out air fryer recipes in Australia. Oh, air fryers. What is it with air...

So, I've heard lately a lot of people wiring on about air fryers. Are they healthy ways? It doesn't use oil, right? Nah. It doesn't use any kind of fat or oil. I remember them when I was a kid. Yeah. Do you remember the infomercials for air fryers?

They've made a comeback. So there's no oil? No, you put the thing you want to deep fry or air fry in and then... Like chips. You put in all the chips. Yep, you put in all the chips and an element turns on and it gets really hot and it's like a You put in all the chips. Yep, you put in all the chips and an element turns on

and it gets really hot and it's like a pressure like it's sealed. Yeah. And then the air is whizzed around. It's like oven bake on fan bake

in your oven but on steroids. And it's so hot in there that it fries it. Right. Because if you think about oil it's really hot and it totally surrounds

the chip. Yeah. That's essentially what they're trying to mimic. The air. The air. Really hot air. But do you have to open it up

and give the chips a shake? Nah. Or does it just... I don't know. I've never had a chip from an air fryer. Is it good? I think I have had

like a thicker chip. And it just sits on your bench like a bread maker or something. Yeah. I don't know. Oil kind of contributes on your bench like a bread maker or something. Yeah. Yeah. Oil kind of contributes in the flavor.

Yeah, that's true. But I mean, I'm willing to try. So Kmart has an air fryer. Okay. That's a really good, I imagine,

entry level if you want to give it a go. Do you want something that's a pressure, a pressurized bomb on your countertop that's $20? With ANCO written on it?

I don't know. Not particularly. I don't know how much they are. Can you look into that, please? I will look into that. My computer update has finished. There is a Facebook page that's dedicated to recipes for the air fryer. Someone has created, well, they haven't done it.

We need a fancy name for them. They have wrapped Tim Tams, in this case they chose white chocolate Tim Tams in puff pastry so you wrap it in a little package and then you

put it in your air fryer and the pastry holds it all together so it's like a deep fried Mars bar, but it's a deep fried Tim bar, but it's a deep fried Tim Tam, but it's an air fried Tim Tam. Yeah. So there's no fat. So it's good for you.

Is that the logic there? So they come out like little, yeah, deep fried packages with melty Tim Tams and biscuits. Now I need to go to Kmart and buy an air fryer. Okay, so here we go. Here's your air fryers. You've got a $59 1.5 litre air fryer. Well, I's not...

I'm not going to fit many Tim Tams in that. Give me a bigger one. 3.2 litre air fryer, but I don't have a price that's telling me era. So I don't know if that's... Maybe it's out of stock. Probably been recalled. Get Duffy back on the phone. We'll ask if that's a current on the Consumer Insider Recall List.

There's a 3-in-1 air fryer oven. Ooh. And it's got multiple levels. Ooh, okay. So you can put different Tim Tam flavours on each level. On every level, yeah. But you could wrap like, yeah, like Mars bars or chocolate bars or anything

in the pastry. Kogan's got... You guys come across Kogan as a brand. Kogan. No, what's that? Kogan with a K. It seems to be very heavily Dick Smith. Right, okay. It's very heavily

dick orientated appliances. They're all shaped like penises. Okay, right. Yeah, Dick Smith's peddling the Kogan. Okay.

And they've got air fryers too. It's like their Anko. Yeah, they've got a big air fryer, a 12 litre air fryer. The warehouse has got air fryers.

Well, there you go. It sounds like today's an air fryer day. Today's an air fried Tim Tam day. Yeah. Well, it's on TVNZ1 tonight. Big in Japan, Reece Darby's new show. I'm here to learn, experience and eat everything I can.

I intend to walk a line, a line as fine as the summarised sword, from one end of this great country to the other. Tonight it is on TVNZ1 at 8.45, Reece Darby, Big in Japan, and the titular character joins us on the show. Reece Darby, good morning. Hello. Good morning. This is going to be weird seeing a travel

show when we can't travel. Yeah, but you know, you're able to watch anything these days. This is true. This is true. That's true. It doesn't stop us watching it, does it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We watch things based on the Civil War and the Civil War's not on.

You raise a very valid point. That doesn't make sense. There's no war happening. He's got you there. You do. Checkmate. So, Rees-Darby, big in Japan.

It kind of blows my mind you'd never been to Japan before. Yeah, it's one of those things because most of my travel has been based on where I'm going for work, whether it be, you know, comedy or filmmaking. So, yeah, that's just one of the places I hadn't been, always wanted to go. Right. And did it live up to your wildest dreams and expectations? Absolutely did.

Yep. It was fantastic. It was crazy. It was weird. It was everything I thought it would be and more. You, this is one thing that I really wanted to do is go to the robot cafe. Well, you stayed in a robot hotel. Yeah, I did the next level.

Look, it wasn't as great as it sounds. It was kind of weird. No, I love weird, but it was sort of not so user friendly. You know, it was kind of, I guess it it was kind of when you think of a robotic hotel, you think of something very futuristic. This was unique, but it was kind of like robots maybe from the late 90s that didn't quite work. So it was more funny than anything.

Right, okay. And did you get amongst any of the Japanese game shows? No, I didn't, luckily. You did you get amongst any of the Japanese game shows? No, I didn't, luckily. You know, that's kind of a hack thing, you know, I'll go over there, be in a game show. I didn't want to do that. You know, I wanted to train as a samurai. I wanted to wrestle

sumo guys. Yeah. So I did those kind of things. Right. How did that go? Wrestling the sumo wrestlers? Fantastic. I mean, all they had to do was lift me up and I was screwed. So it was too powerful that this dude just, as soon as he lifted me up by the weird undies thing that I was wearing, you know, there's nothing I could do.

But then he gave me some hints and he said, just get up underneath. You've got to get up underneath the bulk. So I did that and I managed to actually push the guy out of the ring. I couldn't believe it. Wow. I thought that was – I mean, can you believe that? No, not really.

Because it seems like – To be honest, I said to the guy, look, did you let me get away with that? And he went, no. You know, he's like, you're very strong. So I was like, okay, how about that, Kiwi? What about the cuisine? I mean, we're all pretty familiar with westernised Japanese cuisine, but what were some of the unusual things you ate while you were there? Yeah, the real deal over there is something to behold

because they pretty much eat anything, but they will do it and cook it in such a perfect way that it's quite astounding. There's a real attention to detail. When you receive these little things, you can go out for an evening and just be eating for five hours, and they'll just give you these tiny dishes, and each one is like a little present,

and you open it up, and there's something inside something and then you you have no idea what this thing is and then you know sometimes you don't want to know because it's sperm sacs or something weird like that the eyeball of a newt you know it's sort of thing that that a witch would use create some sort of brew that would turn you into something. But honestly, really, really, really tasty. And of course, they've got a wonderful range of sake and alcohol that can just do that in small doses as well. And it's a real experience. I really love their food, actually.

So will you be going back without a TV crew? Is that the plan their food, actually. So will you be going back without a TV crew? Is that the plan? Oh, absolutely. My son's actually taking Japanese at school in the States, and he was supposed to go this year as well. And, of course, thousands of others were supposed to go with the Olympics, and that's how this kind of thing all came about. I got really into it, and I look forward to perhaps, you know,

in the future at some point taking my family across there because I want to show off some of the language I've picked up. And, of course, you put on your sumo suit and get back in there and obviously you've got a bit of a natural talent. Yeah, well, actually, you're not wrong there. I hope I have to bulk up a bit more. They did say to me, God, do you even eat? And I said, yeah.

Eye of newt. Delicious eye of newt, sperm sacs. That's enough to get a man. All right, well, it premieres tonight, 8.45 on TVNZ1, and of course, catch it on demand as well. Rhys Darby, thank you so much for chatting to us this morning. Thank you, guys. The Somerset South Island Masters Games are back.

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your team together. Details at simasters.com. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I went and visited a friend and she told me a cute wee story of her daughter. She's got an eight-year-old daughter and they've gone back to school. Now, she came home one day and demanded that she needed something when she goes back to school. And on the surface, it sounds like it's a

necessity, but it was the type of product that she wanted that was essential to her. Right. So she came home and said, I need a little bottle of hand sanitizer. Oh, okay. Like a little carry bottle.

Oh, yeah. Which you're like, okay, yeah. We've given our kids some when they've gone back to school. Yeah, that seems, you know, appropriate. So she said, but you can't just buy any hand sanitizer. I definitely need the one with the green lid. That's what all the cool girls at school have got. Is that the debt hole one?

Yeah. The debt hole one doesn't have a clip on it though. It doesn't have a clip? What do you mean? Like is it a screw top? Yeah. Is it? I thought it was a flip lid.

It's not a flip lid. But no, our kids have got it and everybody at their school has got it. It's got a little clip on the top that you clip onto your bag. Oh. I don't know. She was very specific in that the cool kids needed to have the green lid hand sanitizer. So if you didn't have the green lid, what, you're like not cool? Yeah.

And she said, I do need to have like a clip, like a thing so I can attach it to the side of her pants. Yeah, on the pants. So they're wearing it on the outside, like hanging off the side of their pants. So they like flick it around and put the hand sanitizer on with the green lid. But then how do you attach the thing to the green lid? Maybe with some string. Maybe with some string. Maybe a homemade.

Or a hair tie. A hair tie could work. A hair tie, yeah. A hair tie could work. Or a homemade. Lacer it around. What do you call it where you put your gun? Holster.

A holster. A hand sanitizer holster. A hand sanitizer holster. You go, whew. Yeah. Yeah. But no, she was very specific about what type she needed to be cool. Yeah.

But you remember what it was like being at school when, you know, you wanted the cool item of clothing. I know, but they make sense, isn't it? The thing that was in fashion. 2020 is hand sanitiser. Who would have thought? It was Barker's track pants when I was in high school. I had to explain why I wanted, like, XL, though,

Barker's track pants, because you can't have them tight. They had to be baggy. No, you had to wear a baggy pair of track pants. Baggy yeah Yeah Or like Do you remember like Snack pants Everyone

The cool kids Had the Adidas ones And then your mum Would buy you like Some imitation one With four stripes Yeah we got imitation four stripes Everyone can tell

Yeah Starter caps Yeah Starter caps used to The flexi fit starter caps In the 90s Used to have Eight Rows of threading on the peak.

Okay. And you could get a pretty convincing knockoff, but it only had six or four. And it was always like people would stop. Yeah, there would be a stop. You're legit cool, man. You're poor. You've only got eight rings. It's ruthless.

I know. Yeah. I remember I demanded mum buy me some klots. Do you even know what those are? No. They were like really wide like pants. Really wide like floppy pants. But it's what everyone was wearing.

And I was like, I can't go. I absolutely can't go to school without klots. How do you spell klots? C-U-L-O-T-T-E-S, I think, maybe. Oh, yeah, culottes. Yeah. Oh, okay. Right.

Oh, yeah, like a skort. Yeah. No, yeah, okay. A skirt. That's a short, yeah. Shorts. So I thought off the back of that, what did you demand your parents buy when you were younger?

You had to have it to be cool at school. Yeah. And now looking back, you're like, oh, my God. Anybody, anybody's dad make them their own chatter rings? No. No. Had to have it to be cool at school. And now looking back, you're like, oh, my God. Anybody's dad make them their own chatter rings? No. No, mine didn't. Oh, okay.

I had to know. A kid bought dad-made chatter rings to school once, and everyone was like, what you got there? And it was literally like wire with bolts on it. I felt sorry for them. It's like, that's not even going to work. It looks. It's a circle, kind of. I mean, great ingenuity. Yeah's like, that's not even going to work. It looks. It's a circle. Yeah. Kind of.

I mean, great ingenuity. Yeah, well, it was number eight wire, so it was a double dip on the old Kiwi ingenuity. Well, it's the coolest item at school at the moment. Hand sanitizer on your belt. Hand sanitizer with the green lid, please. Well, at some schools, or the hook. Yeah, there's hand sanitizer that comes on a hook. Talking about those things that you made your parents buy you as a kid because you had to be cool.

Jules, good morning. Good morning. Hi, guys. Now, what did you make your parents buy? So I didn't buy it because I remember thinking it was so weird, but all the cool kids rocked Baby Dummy. What? In their mouth?

Yeah, so they had like a sparkly, like you had to have the sparkly clip that went with it and they clipped it on their school jersey. What? And then they would just suck on the dummy. When was this a thing? When was this happening? This was like early 2000s.

What age were you? Intermediate or college? Oh, intermediate. That is so weird. Like, how does that start? Gwen Stefani. I have no idea, but I think now, like, you know, they're all in their 30s and maybe probably pretty successful and, you know,

they look back and think, you know, that's what I did. I'd like to think there's someone running a company who used to do that at school. Put a dummy in their mouth. And every now and then they open their top drawer and it's still in there and they'll get it out and they'll just be like, oh God, it's been a hard day. We want to know what you demanded your parents buy you to be cool when you were young.

Apparently hand sanitizer and the right brand is what is cool now. Yeah. Hang it on your skirt, your pants. Holly, what did you demand from your parents as a kid to be cool? A Tamagotchi. Oh, yeah.

I remember I had a Tamagotchi. But my ones, they were way worse. They didn't just give it to me. They made me learn all my times tables off by heart

before they'd buy it. No, that's good. That's good from them, isn't it? I know, like really good in retrospect, but I remember driving down from Christchurch to Queenstown

and we literally had this CD or something of the times tables going all the way down. A CD? Jesus. It was so bad. I know, Jesus. Yeah. But do you still remember your times tables? Like know them so well.

Four times seven. Oh, my God, 28. Congratulations. But do you still remember your times tables? I know them so well. Four times seven. Oh, my God, 28. Congratulations. Do you even know the answer? No, you don't get a prize. Your prize is a Tamagotchi and you got it years ago. How did they test you? Was there a sit-down test for the time stamps?

No, it was a sit-down. I got them all right. They were going for like multiple minutes and if I didn't get any wrong, then I got it. Wow. That's brilliant

because now you're great at your time stamp. Nine times ten. No, exactly. Ninety. You don't know how to get times ten. Eleven's one.

Yeah, come on, Megan. I was just trying to think of high numbers. I panicked. Okay. I knew it was ninety. You should have gone like 8 times 7. What's 8 times 7?

42? No. 56. Is that? I don't know. I don't know. I actually had to get my calculator out. 8 times 64 minus 8.

What did I say again? 8 times 7. Oh, my God. Yeah, 56. Hand over your Tamagotchi. I was going to say my favourite ones were the 11 times tables. Yeah, because they're easy. Hey, thanks for your call, Holly.

Sevens, your sixes. Harmony, what did you demand from your parents to be cool? Well, I didn't get it. I had to buy a pair of dickies myself, but I really wanted a pair of those dickie shorts. Oh, yeah. I had dickie shorts. And I was so sad.

They're about $120 and I had to work and save money to get them myself. But I was a cool kid, though. Yeah. You can't have mum or dad buying them because they buy them too, like, small. You had to, like, low-ride them. Yeah. They had to be, like, in your bar. And did they come with that really long belt that you left hanging down,

or was that a separate purchase? No, only boys had the belt. Yeah, I agree. Only boys wore those belts. Yeah, true. Excuse me, Avril Lavigne had the belt. Yeah, Lavigne had it. She had a big hanging belt, didn't she?

Yes, Avril. Roger, what did you demand from your parents to be cool? Well, when I was at high school, like in the senior year, it became just a phase or a fad that you wore black flared pants with platform shoes. And long hair. And long hair, okay. And you demanded platform shoes and flares.

Did you get them? I handed my mother for ages about it. Yes, I did. And then I got it. And my dad just looked at me and thought I looked like a clown. Now, Roger, did you go to high school in the 1970s or that brief period in the 1990s after that movie, Days Then Confused, came out where everyone dressed like they were in the 70s?

No, no, 1970s. But here's the thing, guys, because my sister got married and I got a denim suit. My dad got married in a denim suit. You sound at the precipice of fashion always, Roger. Oh, mate, you're telling me now. I left my hair got long through the lock up and that, and everyone's going, man, you've got long hair. And I went to the hairdresser, and she just sort of tied it up, and it's still super long, and people are going, what?

So I'm going to bust out the flares in the platform shoes. In the platform. Roger, thanks for your call. Olivia, what did you demand from your parents to be called? My best friend and I both got wheelies. Oh. Just the one wheel at the back. Yeah, yeah.

Weren't they called Heelys? Heelys, yeah, it was a similar one. Oh, you had an off-brand. And we used to wheel around school and we were so cool in the supermarket. You could go real fast down the aisle. Yeah, until you forget you're wearing your Heelys or your wheelies. And you go, damn. And you go, arse over.

Olivia, thanks. You called some text messages. Somebody said, I wanted many things, but I can remember demanding a navy blue Russell Athletics USA hoodie. Oh, yeah. I had a red USA hoodie. Did you ever wear a USA hoodie? I never got one.

I never got one. Oh, well, that's one point for Vaughn. A glittery Roxy backpack. I had one of those. You had one of those. You know I had one of those. Basically anything Roxy. And my hotmail address was Roxy babe.

Yes. Yeah. At underscore 69, but you didn't know what that meant. No. You just knew that people found that number impressive. Yeah. Somebody else said nomad shoes. Oh, yep. There was no demanding them in my household, so I just went to the local shop and put them on mum's account. are impressive. Somebody else said nomad shoes except there was

no demanding them in my household so I just went to the local shop and put them on mum's account and got a hiding for it but it was worth it

because people were like whoa cool nomads and I was like yeah it was worth the hiding. I demanded my mum get the whole collection of What Now clothing

from Decker. Now I didn't know What Now ever dipped its toe into the fashion world, but apparently it did. Okay. My brother wanted devil sticks, demanded those are the ones that the hippies use. The two sticks they had. Excuse me, those are a staple in Nelson.

They call them Nelsonians. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the defence rests. But we couldn't afford them. Dad made my brother devil sticks and my brother was like, this is going to be horrible. But then, they were the best devil sticks

on the playground. Oh, yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. This is something we've talked about on the show before and we've said that it is important, but the government is to provide free sanitary items in schools. This is something we've talked about on the show before, and we've said that it is important, but the government is to provide free sanitary items in schools.

This is very exciting. Yeah, the announcement last night. Yeah, so we thought we'd have the co-founder of Dignity New Zealand and the campaign lead for positive periods, Jacinta Goulas-Akram. Good morning. Hello, hello. How are we, team? Good.

Good. How are you? Now, this is great news, isn't it? How exciting. A pause for some great campaigning. Hey, go New Zealand, go you. You've been, you know, at the forefront of this. You consulted with the Prime Minister, is that right?

Yeah, she actually made us coffee. It was hilarious. She was running around her office, just in her stockings, and she was like, oh, do you want milk? Oh, do you want coffee? And it was really sweet, actually. She made a good coffee. It was hilarious. She was running around her office, just in her stockings, and she was like, oh, do you want milk? Oh, do you want coffee? And it was really sweet, basically. She made a good coffee. I was going to say, what, did she have instant coffee? Or did she have, like, an espresso? No.

Like, we're in Wellington. It was good coffee. Okay, right. Interesting. Okay. So, can you tell us what has been agreed to, and what is going to happen going forward? Yeah, so in term three, 15 schools in the Waikato are going to have it. So free tampons and pads for all the students, which is great. And then from 2021, all schools can opt in to this program, which is amazing. So

from primary, intermediate and secondary schools. So will they just be available? Like, would you have to go and ask for them or will they just be left somewhere discreetly, like in the bathroom? Yeah, so that was a really big topic of conversation yesterday. And that's what I said with dignity, that we've really encouraged our schools to have them in the bathrooms, at the nurse's offices,

with the guidance counsellors. And the Prime Minister was really keen on that happening as well. What kind of, because there always is and we don't want to focus on the negative, but what kind of pushback have you had in the lead up to this point? So it's been pretty full on. I mean, we know that students have missed school because of not having access to these products. So it's just, and that's sad.

Like this is New Zealand, we're a first world country and you never would have thought that that was the case. And the media has played a really important part in bringing that awareness so that groups can fill in the gaps and do things. And now we've been able to report and provide impact. And now the government's taken that big step because i i wanted to gauge the react and i shouldn't have delved into the comments because i you never read the comments but it's it's it did surprise me though how many older women were were saying stuff like oh this is just is just, you know, freeloading and, you know, why can't they buy them like everyone else? But they obviously just don't realise that people are in poverty

and they just can't afford them. Totally. I mean, if you're living on $10 a day or your budget is really tight, you have to choose between food and sanitary items. And food is going to win out every single time. And it's a nasty choice that you have to face. And, you know, these are necessity products. It's just like toilet paper, right?

Like, why aren't they there when you need them? It affects half the population. It's definitely not a luxury item. But it also, like, I remember being a high school, and when you're young and you're at a co-ed school especially, if you don't have the right products, it can be very upsetting in your formative years. And boys aren't always understanding. Oh, no, boys are dickheads.

Take it from one that was one and continues to be one. Horrible. Yeah, it's so important was one and continues to be one. Horrible. Yeah. It's so important. I'd never thought about it. Like, imagine going to school and there not being toilet paper and they're like, oh, from now on, everyone brings their own toilet paper.

That's a necessity, right? Yeah, yeah, it's a necessity for sure. Yeah. Like, you even imagine going to a workplace and not having, like, coffee available. You'd be like, oh, always okay. But that's not a necessity. That's not an absolute necessity.

So is the fight over, Jacinta? Like, where to from here for you guys? Oh, goodness, no. There's still so much more to do. I mean, with the scheme as well, it's opt-in. So we really need schools, and especially border trustees, to opt-in because they might not think this affects their student population.

And look, with Dignity, we support all schools of all death styles because you don't know what people's circumstances are, whether they are court short or whether they are living in poverty. These items need to just be there. With Dignity, we have our buy one, give one model and predominantly we have given to schools, but we also support a lot of community organisations like the City Mission.

So for us, it's exciting because there is still a need with other community groups and other women that experience period poverty that aren't in the school system. So it's amazing that we can channel our energy now to support and advocate for those people. Well, thank you so much for joining us on the show this morning, but thank you so much for what you've done for women.

Can I give a quick shout out to my amazing co-founder, Miranda Hitching? She's a massive fan of the show and Dignity is her baby and it was her idea to do the buy one, give one model, and I've just lived so much from her. I love her so much, and this is a massive shout-out to her. We're a massive fan of you guys. Good work.

All right. Hey, thanks so much, Jacinta. Thank you. Have a great day. You two, 16 past eight. If you would like to play, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Yep, right now. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Anyone got a pen? Yes. My pen's just died. Oh, sorry. I just picked out a pen like that yesterday because it stopped working. I think we should take the whole box back. Staples.

Yes. Look at the amount of ink in this. I know. It's full of ink. This pen hasn't been upside down. Okay. Just use the pen I threw at you. Can we get John Duffy from Consumer NZ back on the phone?

We'll tell him about our pens. Now that we've got his number, he's going to be hearing from us a lot because we're always finding fault in products. Hey, John, the pens won't work and there still looks like there's ink in them. It hasn't been upside down, John. I know that that makes pens stop working. I think they're...

Jess joins us. Good morning, Jess. Hello. Hello. All right, now Vaughan is going to ask you five questions about your mum and then has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. Let's do it. All right, let's do it. Hi, Jess. Let to try and guess your mum's name. Let's do it. All right, let's do it. Hi, Jess.

Let's get to know your mum. What's your mum's go-to takeout? She doesn't really eat takeout, to be honest. She says to your dad, I cannot be stuffed cooking tonight after the day I've had. Either you're cooking something or we're getting takeaways. She doesn't get anything.

Not really, no. She's really into her keto lifestyle so she probably just had like a block of butter and a piece of bacon or something. No, we can't risk a single carbohydrate, Kevin. I will lose my... What do they call it when you get into ketosis?

Ketosis. Ketosis? Yeah, yeah. Ketosis? I can't live. It's so bad that I forgot that. Mum, are you eating lunch? Stay in ketosis.

All right, so she's, okay, that makes me think she's a bit of a, like a fitness nut. A fitness mum. Okay, yeah, right. Okay, that makes me think she's a bit of a fitness mom. Okay, yeah, right. Okay, I'm just going to write keto beside that. Okay. What's the last big thing she bought herself? Ooh. Oh.

She doesn't spend money on herself. Probably her little Fitbit. She loves her Fitbit. She bought herself a Fitbit. Jesus, this woman's probably posting her F45 workout bloody heart rate at the end of her... Okay, so I have a Fitbit there. So she's in a bit of fitness.

Okay. What age is your mum? This is question three. I can only give you a rough estimate. Between 55 and 60. What do you mean? You can only give us a, do you not know your mum's age? I don't know.

I know her year of birth, but I don't want to work it out. And she probably wouldn't want me saying that. Wait, so you can't do that? But we're in 2020. This is one of the easiest years to work out. Okay, she was born in 58. 58? She's older than 60 then.

She's 62. Oh, this is new. She's the same age as my mum, and I can't imagine Christine doing a keto. No. God, no. Or having a Fitbit. Does she have a Fitbit?

She wouldn't care about that. Christine does much, doesn't she? Not butter. I don't think Marge is on keto. care about that. Christine does much, doesn't she? Not butter. I don't think Marge is on keto. Yeah, definitely. All right, so she's... Mums, keeping the margarine industry afloat, even though it's completely bad.

What are your siblings called, Jess? So my brother is Ben. Ben. And then there is a Rick and a Steve. A Rick? A Rick? Ben. Ben. And then there is a Rick and a Steve. A Rick? A Rick? Yep. Okay.

Now, is the Steve a Steven with a PH, but he shortens it to Steve? Heavens no, it's a V. Oh, no, it's a V. Okay, so he's a Rick and Steve, Ben and Jess. See, Ben and Jess go together and then Rick and Steve. See, I would have asked mum siblings. Nah. That's a better indicator.

I asked that last time. You've got to keep it fresh. Okay. Oh, that's a good one. I'm that last time. You've got to keep it fresh. Okay. That's a good one. I'm just going to say that. That would be a good question. Well, I do have a question up my sleeve. Okay, what are your aunties and uncles on mum's family call?

So there's one sister named Henny. Pardon me? Henny. Yeah, H-E-N-N-I-E. Henny. Henny. Like Henny Penny. Like Henny. Wait, is that a nickname?-N-I-E. Henny. Henny. Like Henny Penny. Like Henny.

Wait, is that a nickname? No, that is her name. They are Dutch. Henny. Okay. That's going to be difficult for you. Dutch. Bourne's like, oh, no.

So she's only got one sister and it's Henny. Yep. Damn you, Jess. You're never going to get it. It's just the hardest name ever. You're never going to get it. Wait, you're... I'm never going to get it. It's just the hardest name ever. You're never going to get it. Wait, you're... I'm never going to get it.

Who's that? Was that sass in the background? I'm a really big fan. Good job. I love that. Okay, Vaughn. I've got to be thinking of... Dutch names.

Dutch names now. I don't know any Dutch names. They've all got like a few extra... Okay, good luck. All right, you have 15 seconds to guess Jess's mum's name. Vaughn, your time starts now. Jess, if you hear your mum's name, yell out stop. Here we go.

Emma, Julia. Now, see, these aren't Dutch enough, are they? Mila. Eva. Eva's Italian. Sarah. Now I'm just thinking of Dutch people's mom's names. Lottie. Fenna. Lynn.

Maud. You did get my middle name My middle name's Lynn But not mum Okay what's mum's name Jess? It's Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy

Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy

Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy

Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy

Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy

Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy

Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy Dorothy You spun me when you said Dutch I was just like You would never have got Dorothy

That would have been a bit older I would have thought Wow Have a shit day Jess No this is great I love it when you lose You get so salty It's brilliant Hey thanks Jess

Have a lovely day. Have a lovely day. That was great. I'm staying with my previous wish for your day, Jess. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. Day. Day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about how, unfortunately, oh, actually, we could contribute. We could contribute, you and I. But how, Megan, you could. Yes. Everybody else on the show could. You might be piecing together what Fletch and I have in common That other people on the show

You're old Wow No not it Wow I was going to say We have penises Jared's got a penis Oh yeah

You've got a penis Don't you Jared Yep Big one Well that's going to help The Tinder match That's going to That was two foot long By the way That was Well, that's going to help the Tinder match. That's going to...

That was two foot long, by the way. That's too big. That's too big. No, it's your... Hair. Yes. It's your hair. I've got some. On your face.

Body hair. And aren't you getting a laser ring today? Yes, I am getting my back and my butt lasered today. I had an appointment booked during the COVID lockdown, so that had to be rescheduled. And then I was sick when the next one was done. So then everybody had to catch up on all the lasering and waxing and plucking and pulling that they missed out on.

So I've rebooked today, yes. Fantastic. Is this a new lady again today? A new lady. It's a whole new lady. Is that why you have to go today? The last one complimented my butt. When I did the part where you pull the cheeks apart,

she was like, oh, nice. And I was like, I think she was meaning nice you saved me a job. Nice. And then I said, I beg your pardon, and she said, oh, no, I meant you've done a fantastic job shaving the area. I was like Well thank you very much I actually feel physically ill

I put a leg up On the bathroom vanity And Oh no I don't need to know And I looked back Into the mirror

Oh I actually feel ill And got a close up view Of my own butthole Okay Vaughn Carry on What's the fact of the day I'm surprised I haven't caused

A major problem back there Anyway Anyway Anyway Anyway I could have taken Because I shaved my chest Okay, Vaughn, carry on. What's the fact of the day? I'm surprised I haven't caused a major problem back there. Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway. I could have taken the, because I shaved my chest this week as well. Yeah, okay. I was locked in. You may have been noticing my nipples seem more erect this week. But that's just because that touch and cloth again.

There was a hairy barrier there. Right. That's all gone. Okay. So I shaved that off and there was a fair chunk of hair. Right. There. And it just went in the bin.

It's gone. Right, right. However, however, when you get a haircut and when I have a clean up, our hair could save the environment. Because do you know hair? This came to a hairdresser in the year 1989. He was watching news coverage of a terrible oil spill, and he noticed that the oil was sticking to the animals.

Yep. And he's like, why is it sticking to the animals more than it's sticking to the buoys floating in the ocean? The rocks, it's lapping on the rocks, but it doesn't seem to be sticking to the smooth rocks as much. And he thought, I wonder if it's got anything to do with their fur and feathers. So at the end, he saved all the hair from his salon. Yep. And at the end of that week, he got a tub and he put motor oil, he put water in it and he poured motor oil on top and then he had all of the hair saved from the week in a nylon stocking

and he waved it through and it all stuck to the hair and pulled it out of the water. So our hair could be like oil spill mops. Correct. What? Was this Rodney Wayne? Correct. No, it was...

Vidal Sasops. Correct. What? Was this Rodney Wayne? Correct. No, it was... Vidal Sassoon. Yes. I'm out of hairdressers. It was silver scissors. Right, okay. So his name was Philip. Philip McCrory. Okay.

And so he took his idea to NASA, and they were like, that's a pretty good idea. And he said 25,000 pounds of hair in nylon collection bags would be enough to absorb 170,000 gallons of spilled oil. That's a gallon's what?

4.2 litres? Yeah. Or thereabouts? Heaps. So half a million litres of basically spilled oil could be soaked up by massive things of hair. And it would all just get chucked out, all the hair, wouldn't it? And there'd be so much of it. It's just going in the bin. So we mop up the oil out of the ocean and then what do we do with the oily hair?

We set it on fire. Because it will burn the oil and it will burn the hair. And everyone will be like. That'll stink. Oh, poor. Yeah. Poor. Has the cat been too close to the heater?

Is there a way to process that so you get the oil back out of it so you can then dump it properly somewhere? No, because you'd always be like... Yeah, okay. You'd have a couple of hairs in it. Yeah, your car would be like... It's still in there. And your tongue's chasing around your mouth and you're like, oh, no, I can feel

it. It's on one of my teeth. And then your finger gets in there and it's not as good as the tongue was at chasing it. And you end up just being like. Trying to get as much saliva as you can. It's not a great time to be spitting in public. No. That's very frowned upon. But today's fact of the day is hair that we grow as humans can be used to mop up oil spills. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It has been brought to our attention that Anya, executive intern, producer slash whatever, Anya. Oh, my God.

I said producer. We need to get a new executive title. What are they, Plarks made? Yes. That would be great. That would be great. That would be great so everybody knows you're an executive.

Thank you, Fletch. Intern, executive intern. Executive producer, but that's fine. Executive producer, yeah. So you were recently put on blast by a friend?

Yes. A friend who works in the field of photography and videography. Yep. And I was about to post a photo with him, and he said, hey, can you make sure the horizon line's straight?

And I was like, oh, that's a bizarre thing to say to someone. Could you clarify? And he proceeded to open his phone and go through all of my Instagram posts and say, see, this one's wonky. You are over- You remember when I called you when you were in Paris

and told you that Eiffel Tower was wonky? Yes, and you didn't tell me I was on the radio and I let a sweary through. I know. It's what she's really like behind the scenes. I thought this was weird until I've gone to your Instagram and it's accurate. Is it like a style thing?

I want you to run a wonky horizon. I had no idea. You're in the beach with Mr Bun Buns and the horizon is on a 45 degree angle. It's like a diagonal. That's not how the beach is when you go to the beach. But it's because when I'm taking a selfie, I'm purely looking at me and the reflection of the camera. We all are. Yeah.

But you can still make, you're still in the photo. No, as long as I look skinny and hot, that's all we care about. And Pihar Beach, you know what that looks like. Yeah. They're the main feature of that. And there's a little bit of a tilt there with the hand because you're trying to hold the hand far away, right? Exactly.

And then it feels like you've tilted it a little bit. Because Andy always goes for like a mid, like just a straight arm out angle. And I'm like, absolutely not. Get the crane. We're going up high, baby. Go up and give it a tilt. Yeah.

Give it a tilt. Yeah. But what a confronting thing to learn about your entire Instagram past of probably like five years. I kind of like it. It's like a style thing, you know? Thank you. Have you got like a dominant Instagram style or trait, Megan? Always very well lit.

No, but I feel like you're about to tell me. No, it's always very well lit. What do you use there? I'm not telling you because you'll take the first out of me. No, tell us. Get off my Instagram. Do you have a...

No, you've got that case with the selfie light. No, I don't use that anymore. You've got the selfie ring. Yeah, but one's got one of those too. No, but some of these photos are outside. Who can be effed setting that up every time we take a photo, by the way? It's just a preset.

It's a preset. It's an app. Leave it. You do go to wonderful places and then sort of dominate the landscape. Yeah. Well, it's all about me, isn't it? Like, here I am.

There's a little bit of water to the side. Because there's a photo of you two in the Maldives, but you could have just been in Rotorua, to be totally honest. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A warning heading into the winter season, and this comes from Australia. But, you know, we're right next next door and we do have the same problem.

It has been labelled Uggbootfoot. Uggbootfoot. Uggbootfoot. Now, the reason I tripped on that is that boot and foot should rhyme. Uggbootfoot. Boot. Boot and foot. Yeah, you're right, but they don't.

So it should be boot and foot or boot, foot and foot. They're probably doing Canada. Uggbootfoot. Boot and foot. No it should be boot and foot. Yeah. Or boot, foot and foot. They're probably doing Canada. Boot and foot. No, they wouldn't. Why isn't it foot? English language. Oh my God, you've blown my mind. It should be foot.

Boot, foot. Okay, we'll call them foot from now on. Okay. So what does it do to my... Put something on your foot. We're going outside. Onto my foots. Onto your foots.

Well, the problem is, and we've talked about it many times, and again, a timely reminder heading into winter, that you might have a leany hug. Now, who are the podiatrists? Podiatrists. Are they the ones that are warning about this? Yep. Podiatrists do feet.

Pediatrics do children. Right. Okay. Yep. You don't want to take little Timmy in for a checkup on the heart and have a podiatrist come in and be like, you know, toes are great. Great feet.

Yeah. Great foot. Great foot. So this is where the boots get leany. Yep. They wear out on one side and then you continue to wear them and then that exasperates the wearing out of. The already worn out side in the foot either has a big lean in

or it has a big roll out. Right. And then that. And they're saying that's very bad for the feet because it's not at all replicating the bare foot. Do you have Vogue boots?

Never have I ever had. What do you do for a cold tootsie? A slipper. Slippers. Nana slippers. You've got Nana slippers. I'll put socks on. What kind of slipper

have you got? Like a Nana slipper? Like a whole foot enclosed slipper? No, like a slipper on. It's like a slide have you got? Like a nana slipper? Like a whole foot enclosed slipper? No, like a slip-on. Like a slide, yeah. A slip-on slide. Right, okay, yeah. Okay.

Is there something we could, like, substitute? So what's the appeal of wearing them? Well, take them, just get unks and get them re-soled, but get a boot sole on them. Are they supposed to be worn outside? The rubber sole indicates to me that they're an all-terrain vehicle. No, but people wear them to the supermarket. You're right.

But you've got to be careful because they're not waterproof. So if you walk through the wet grass on them down to the litter box or to the washing line, it can. But, you know, people will wear them to the supermarket too, especially in West Auckland. That's an absolute classic to head down. It's a uniform, isn't it? And that's when they start leaning is when they go on a rougher terrain than the lino

or the hard floor or the carpet is when they start wearing out. Right. So be careful. Yeah. Choose a better choice of footwear. What are you going to kinshasa a line the other day going into the Ugg store? I'm just not down. I'm not a fan. Not a fan.

It's like, yeah, no. And also, Uggs, one of those things that's a brand, you were talking about the official, but then there's all the cheap knockoffs that people just call Uggs as well. Yeah. You get wet. What if your foot gets wet? And then your sole gets slanty. And they're not a great fashion choice, are they?

I'm just not a big fan. Very warm warm though. I've never been so passionate about anything. I've never owned one but I have tried one on and I got a very sweaty foot. Yeah, right. Almost immediately

because of the woolly inside. Alright, we've got... ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's

free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.