ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th March 2021

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

Top 6: Wellington Ted Talks  Don't let your kids...  Smeg Knife Update!  I Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Hayley's Toilet Drama  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  How big are your shoes!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees, get one free on the Maccas app. Russell Cootes, Sir Russell Cootes for his services to... Yatting. Yatting and wind boating. Yep. Famous for the overseas listeners, famous sailor, won New Zealand and the America's Cup with Sir Peter Blake.

And then got... Defeated. Insane money in the late 90s to go to a Lingie. Yeah. And he went with Brad Butterworth. And I tell you what, the nation turned on him. We were like, you prick, you son of a bitch. You did what we would all do if we would offer an insane amount of money

to turn our back on our country. We'd say, knew who? Exactly. Or Who Zealand would have been a better joke there. Yeah. And he's just been involved in the, who was he with? Raka. Who they lost, didn't they? He was in the team that lost. The UK team? Yeah, one

of the teams. One of the teams that's out. Well, he has just applied for consent to the Queenstown Council. Okay. It's lovely. He's got a 41 hectare farm called Barley Station with what could only be described as a mansion for the main residents.

But also they look, I'm just looking at a helicopter shot of the property. Beautiful, multiple storey, sort of in a U-shape, so there's a courtyard. Oh, lovely. Rich people love A U shaped house Don't they They do

So they can have That private courtyard In the middle But then it looks like There's some sort of Guest residence to the side That's earthen Like the roof is

Oh I would love that The roof is earthen But it has large glass panels On the side It looks nothing short of Decadent Okay lovely

It's a 41 hectare farm It's called Barley Station. And on that, currently, he has a 12-hole golf course. Okay. Three more are under construction, but he thought, why settle for 15? He has applied to the Queenstown Council for three more, which would mean his home golf course has 18 holes on it.

Is that the normal number of holes? Yeah, or the 19th, the pub. The 19th is the pub. The 19th is the pub. Yeah, 18 is your normal amount of. I'm not a golfer, I have to say. Sounds like a lot of. Yeah, I've played like once or twice. I love a round of golf, but you have to be with people you enjoy hanging out with

because you're going to be frustrated. You've got to have your mates that are going to laugh at you, but also like go, oh, you smoked it when you send one absolutely hurt. Yeah, I'm too competitive. So it was designed by a course designer and former professional, Greg Turner, who lives in Arrowtown. Okay. They want to create mounds, greens, fairways, and tee-off areas over an additional 8.5 hectares.

Wow. So this is just like someone that wants a garage extended onto their house or an extra bedroom. Yeah, some people can't get consent for a shed. So why do you need consent for a couple of little holes? Because you're changing a huge amount of earth. You're moving earth. You're changing it.

I know it's weird because it's your property. You own it. He bought it. But because he's changing it so much. You'd be changing runoff and stuff. Yeah, I thought you meant you were just going to, on the course that already existed, just dig three more holes. And I was was like you don't need consent for that a dog to dig a small golf hole yeah i didn't know you mean changing the whole whack a spaghetti

turn into the ground till it's buried then pull it out and you'll have your golf that's your hole yeah no you're gonna create all the slopes. How much? Who's maintaining it? If you've got that much money to have a golf course, you just pay people. Imagine being wealthy enough to have it. I don't think he's out there with his lawnmower. The gardener's going to have enough on their hands.

They can't be the greenskeeper as well. Are they going to have a dedicated greenskeeper? I don't imagine he'd be letting people play on it and paying, wouldn't he? Maybe do private tours. Yeah. Charge a fortune on it. It's only just for him.

Yeah, because rich golfers like that exclusivity, don't they, of being able to turn up Michael Hill's courses down the road, Russell Coates' is up the road. What's Michael Hill's course like? Oh, fancy. Is it? Yeah, yeah. It's out of control.

They have a New Zealand Open there. Insanely wealthy. You can tell because if you look at Michael Hill over the ages, It's out of control. They have a New Zealand Open then. Insanely wealthy. You can tell because if you look at Michael Hill over the ages, for non-New Zealanders, Michael Hill is a jeweler who had his house burned down at 40 and he put an ad in the Yellow Pages and that was this big Yellow Pages campaign. And he goes, Michael Hill, jeweler. Michael Hill, jeweler.

He is worth heaps of money and if you watch him over time, he started with spectacles like your average sort of spectacles and they've just got more and more extravagant he's on the road

to like Elton John level glamorous extravagant spectacles he looks a bit like Ralph Lauren you know what I mean the actual

Ralph Lauren yeah he's a very wealthy man he has a private golf course as well that you can't see from the road because that was part of the conditions yeah how much will it cost in New Zealand give me a He has a private golf course as well That you can't see from the road Because that was part of the conditions

Yeah How much will it cost In New Zealand Give me a price To build a golf course You've got to buy the land I want 18 holes How much land is that

Lots Like a funnel I'm already out You're out Mini putt though Mini putt in your backyard Mini putt Great investment

ZM Head music Lives here Fletch, Fawn and Megan The podcast Welcome to the show Fletch, Fawn and Megan Great investment. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. One of us is in a little grumpy today.

Oh, I know. Stupid dogs. We've got the doggies in studio and we're happy about it. But Vaughan. They started howling at like two o'clock in the morning. I can't wait to be rid of them now. And you had a bad dream, didn't you? Yeah, I had a dream that I was in the office here and I had my arms hooked in like a chair with like the arms, armrests.

Oh, yeah. Stomachs! Stop eating everything! And I had my arms hooked in it, and someone flipped me over forward, and I couldn't get my arms out in time, and I smashed my head. Now, in my dream, I was unconscious, which is a weird thing to think back on. Yeah. Because I was in a dream, which is...

That's next-level unconscious. Yeah, right. Right. And then in my dream, I woke up with a sudden jet of water up my baton, and I didn't know whether it was real life or in the dream, I woke up with a sudden jet of water up my baton. And I didn't know whether it was real life or in the dream because, as I said, I was dreaming, but I was unconscious in the dream. So it felt very real. A jet of water up the bum, and I was in hospital,

and they said this is the new way we wake people up from being unconscious. Was this one of those things where you're wet in the dream and you wake up, you're about to wet the bed? No. No, because it went up about to wet the bed? No. No, because it went up my bum, the jet of water. It was like an internal flush of water and like a colon cleanse. Yeah, right. And I was like, whoa, I don't think you're allowed to do that.

And she said it's in its trial period. I said, well, I can tell you that I don't think it should advance to confirmed medical practice. It would work, though, better than a slap tell you that I don't think it should advance to confirmed medical practice. It would work, though, better than a slap in the face, isn't it? That's what she said. She said if it doesn't wake them up, there's something more wrong than just a light unconsciousness. Wow, what does that say?

I don't know. Does it all mean any dream analyzers? I don't know if Dream Encyclopedia has jets of water. Shooting up one's posterior. Jets of water up the anus. Dream Encyclopedia. Yeah, really. Yeah, wow.

Woke me up within the dream. Yeah, so you've had a bad sleep. Oh, here you go. Anus-related dreams. Positive changes are afoot. There you go. Fantastic. The dogs are going home this weekend. That's the positive change. There you go. That's from

auntieflow.com. So I'm not sure. Well, she sounds qualified. Yeah. All right. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, TEDx. The TED Talk conference has been cancelled in Wellington, unfortunately. But I've got the top six TED Talks that you will have missed out on from our capital city.

I love a good TED Talk. Same. Do you love a good TED Talk? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's a topic you're into or mildly interested in, it can make your interest in it a lot more. Yes, something you're into or something so mind-blowing that you've never thought of. Yeah.

A good science TED Talk for me. I'm like, mm. Yeah. All right, that's coming up. Secret Sounders. Have we had a jackpot? We're at $30,000. Holy.

$30,000 for ZM Secret Sound. All thanks to Star Streaming now and Disney+. Now, I... That jackpot's had a jet of water up the arse, hasn't it? Yeah, it has. Didn't even do a 5K lead. This is the secret sound. I'm on the cusp of figuring it out, I reckon.

7 o'clock, you can have a shot. 8 o'clock as well with us and right throughout the day. And if you get it wrong, you get $100 anyway. So you can't lose. That's coming up at 7 o'clock. But next on the show, people with money have still got money, but they can't spend it overseas. So what are they doing?

Stats from last month, I'll tell you. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Last month, February, the biggest February on record for new car registrations. That's new cars. Brand new cars. Not just people getting new.

Because you've got a new car. I've got a letter right here from NZTA saying, did you buy a new car? Because you've got to let us know that. But you brought... Was it new-new or second-hand? No, no, second-hand. So that doesn't even count people like Hayley

that just got a new second-hand car. 12,488 new vehicles were registered last month. That's quite brand new cars. And that's a record. Well, people that can afford lovely overseas jaunts, cruises, ski holidays. So it's shopping trips. Yeah. Well, they can't go overseas.

So they're like, well, let's upgrade this awful 2018 BMW because it stinks. Because yuck. It's old because it stinks. Because yuck. It's old and it stinks. So they've just got tens of thousands of dollars burning a hole in their pocket. That's pretty much it.

Because I live down, I live in the city so you see all the big container ships, the car ships coming in. Oh yeah. And I saw a car the other day

with like the brand new, what's that one that you like? The new Land Rover. Oh, Land Rover Defender. Yeah, a truck with like five of them on there. Oh, were they sold out? And those are like $130,000 or something. Well, they get up to, there's one coming out,

there's $195,000 with all the bits and pieces. And they can't keep up with demand for them. What? They're selling them before they're here. That's insane. So there were 8,712 passenger cars and SUVs. That was up 10% on last year. And commercial vehicles, 3,700.

So that was up 7%. And I heard the Toyota Hilux has finally been in the Ford Ranger for high-selling ute. Oh, that'll be some talk between farmers. Good try. Really good try there. You couldn't even say talk between farmers. You couldn't even get to the talk that would be between the farmers.

It was nice watching you just trying to jump in there. That's going to put a chicken amongst the feathers. It's going to put a feather in the chicken, isn't it? Wow, okay. Yeah, and the Mitsubishi Outlander beat it too. The Ford Ranger slipping down to third place. What happened? What happened to the bloody Ford Ranger?

Eh? What happened to the bloody Ford Ranger? Not the flavour of the month, yeah. Fly off. I reckon maybe that new Toyota ad where they all meet up at the top of the hill. Oh, that's a good ad. That's a good ad. Oh, that's a bloody good ad.

Yeah, a bloody good ad. Sold a few. If I had lots of money, I'd definitely buy an electric car. Do you see Volvo's going to go fully electric 2030? They will not make any more petrol cars, diesel cars, anything. Right. Well, everybody's spending their money, aren't they? Can't leave the country.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, the banking oonboodsman has released the most complained about banks. Oh. Top to bottom. The most complained about bank in New Zealand, ANZ. Oh, I've been with- Are you with any- I know why.

Why? Bonus bonds got shut down last year. And ANZ were the people that only dealt with Bonus Bonds. And I don't have an ANZ account, but I dealt with them during Bonus Bonds and I went in. Yep. And they were also one of those banks in rural areas that were only open like two days a week between certain hours. Right. Okay.

And I thought they were doing a fantastic job dealing with Bonus Bonds because it was an old archaic system that never really married up with their system. I asked a lot of questions. you both know how to tell. Of course. And when I was there dealing with it, because I got bonus bonds for the girls, three or four people came in to try to cash in bonus bonds for their now adult children that they'd started, but because

the children were adults, they had to claim it themselves. And I was watching these middle-aged Karens go in on this guy who was saying the same thing over and over and over. Yeah, right. I've been with ANZ since I was about 10 years old. Right.

And I've had a pretty good time with them. They've got a great app, a bloody good app. It doesn't say anything about the bonus bonds in the story. They may have needed you, Vaughan, to front their reply to this because this is what they said. ANZ says, the data only shows that it's the most proactive

at collecting complaint information. Oh, right. I mean, that's such a good way of spinning it. Oh, we had the Donald Trump, you're only finding COVID-19 cases because you're looking for them. Yes, because you're testing. Yeah.

Yeah, so they are the most complained about and that's quite an interesting stat. And like you say, probably because of the bonus bonds, they have a 29.6% market share, but they are responsible for 45.6% of all complaints corrected. Compared to ASB,

which has 19% of the market, but only 10% complaints. So it goes ANZ, the most complained about bank, but only 10% complaints. So it goes ANZ, the most complained about bank, with 12,500 complaints. And then it jumps down to Westpac with 4700. So Westpac's in second place. Yep.

And with like a third of the complaints. And then it goes BNZ, ASB, Kiwi Bank, Rabu Bank, the Co-op Bank, TSB, HSBC, Nelson Building Society, Heartland Bank, SBS Bank, Bank of China, Bank of India, and ICBC have zero complaints. They need to rock this on per capita too. I don't feel like HSBC and that can be like, hey, we had no complaints. It's like, yeah, but you've also got no customers. But I personally like it when HSBC are like,

well, we're dropping our interest rates because then the other banks are like, oh, for the fuck's sake. It took me a long time to figure out they were a bank. I thought they made those air bridges to planes at the airport. Oh, because they always advertise on those things. What a wonderful bridge company. It's cheap advertising.

It must be. What does it stand for? High Society Banking Corporation. No, isn't it? Heart of Southland. Is it a regional thing? Hong Kong? HSBC.

Oh, okay. They're corporate. What does it say? What does it mean? Hayley Sprouse Banking Company. I like that. Yeah. There you go.

I own that company. What does HSBC stand for? The Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation. There like that. Yeah. There you go. I own that company. What does HSBC say for the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation? There you go. Oh. Learn something new every day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Well, Dr. Google has to be the most visited GP in the world at the moment, and it's getting worse and worse apparently, particularly with parents. I'm looking at you, Bourne. Go on. Kids are free to go to the doctor here. So you don't need to just take them. Until like 12 or something, eh? I feel like I got extended.

That is such a rip-off. My doctor is so expensive now. Mine is so expensive. It keeps going up every year, I swear. It's so expensive, but I have a really great doctor. And I remember when I walked in there the first time, there was a chandelier hanging and I thought, this is the doctor for me.

Oh, sweetie, come on. Was it in a new build? Like, you know how sometimes there's a new build in the neighbourhood and they've popped a giant chandelier in it? No, no, no, no. This is in a converted villa in Mount Eden. Your private schoolgirl is showing. Absent is screaming right now.

But apparently people are Googling their children's fake symptoms. You know, if the child has a twitch in their eye or they've got a red nose. Oh, that Rudolph. They're googling the heck out of any slight symptom on a child and convincing themselves and the child that they're unwell. Don't do that. And in doing so

they're actually creating these fake illnesses that are now increasing in numbers. So like fabricated illnesses they're calling them. Which is like one of the top things that kids get sent to the doctor for, which is stuff that isn't real. Right. Because, I mean, we've all done this, right?

Like you get sick and you're like, well, do I need to go to the doctor? I'll quickly Google. I'll Google and see how bad this is. Yeah. And it always comes back cancer. Oh, I've had cancer 20,000 times. I know, right? And then so you're like,

well, I better just go to the doctor. Yeah. But then even when you go to the doctor, you're telling them what's wrong and you're like, in your head, you're like, well, I've Googled this. I know where this is going. And then you see that.

Also Googling. Yeah. Well, and this is terrible because it's actually growing into something even bigger than this. I mean, we've all done that. We've thought we're on death's door. We're moments away. We're changing death's door. We're moments away.

We're changing our wills. We're saying goodbye to our parents. But this is actually turning into something where parents are becoming so convinced that it's turning into like the Munchausen syndrome. Ah, there was a movie recently about that, right? That mum who had convinced her daughter she was sick the whole time? Yeah. Well, it's turning into that. That they are keeping their children from

school, they're taking them to multiple doctors and specialists, putting them through tests, and in some cases even shaving their child's head. What? Is it a bit like the whole fake information news thing online where people are like, we can't trust anyone

because the internet says. Yeah, yeah. So it's called Run. Like facts and right. That movie that I was talking about. Okay. Run. Oh, the plot of the Hulu series, The Act, seems unthinkable. Murchhausen by proxy.

But apparently there's multiple movies about it. It's like, yeah. Wow. Okay. What a terrorist. Well, just go to the doctor. Yeah, absolutely. Or, you know, just vaccinate your children.

That'd help. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the illegal ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The Wellington TEDx, a conference where a whole lot of TED talks happen, has been cancelled a little way away, but I guess just with COVID and international people. Yeah, they're having that problem with, what was it, the World Cup?

That's been bumped a year now. World Cup for cricket. Oh. Women's World Cup. Yes, that's right. And none of the players knew, eh? Just the media knew before the players knew. They're like, this is interesting.

Yeah, and in similar news, you know, marching. The marching nationals is coming up in a couple of weeks. And I know a lot of people are worried about that. No word on whether it's going to be delayed. Somebody actually... Everyone's really been worried about the marching nationals. Someone actually messaged in regarding the marching nationals. Oh, did they?

Yeah, it was in the FM inbox. Oh, what did it say? Did they... Because... Lily. Lily. Okay. Lily. Hey, Hayley, heard you mention marching? Lily. Lily. Okay. Morning, Hayley.

Heard you mentioned marching, your marching coach friend yesterday, so stalked you and saw you march for Lockheel. Yes, my daughter and granddaughter marched for Waikato. Kilties. Militaries. Oh, Militaires. Militaires. Heading to Dunedin in two weeks for the New Zealand Champs.

Still an awesome sport to watch. Just saying, lol, have a great week. Oh, lol, Lily. I was waiting for some smack talk. I was waiting for her to throw it down. You can't smack talk against Lockheel. Lockheel, you never smack talk a Lockheel girl. Even my nan, Marlene, knew that.

She said, so Hayley does marching, does she? Because nan used to do marching. Oh, yeah, right. And she's like, oh, yes, Lockheel, I've always been a strong club. Are you a formidable force in marching? Absolutely. Wow.

The Canterbury Crusaders of... Really? I had no idea I was in the midst of such marching royalty. Well, now you know. Now you know. Now you know. Don't mess with it. Right.

So with the TED Talk and marching, well, marching's not cancelled, right? It's not cancelled, but just Auckland can't train at the moment. Right. So the top six Wellington TED Talks you're going to miss out on, number six, is a TED Talk called Huts, Upper, Lower, Pizza, Jubba and Tree. Which is the best? I want to point out, I love a TED Talk. And I don't want people to think that we're hating on TED Talks.

No, I love TED Talks. I love a TED Talk. Huge fan of TED Talks. I love a humorous TED Talk. I love an emotional TED Talk. I love an informative TED Talks. No, I love TED Talks. I love a TED Talk. Huge fan of TED Talks. I love a humorous TED Talk. I love an emotional TED Talk. I love an informative TED Talk. I can just digest them all day. I watched one on flags.

It's really good. You should watch it. If you've never seen a flag. Which would be your favourite hut? I'm a welly girl. So my favourite hut would be... I don't know the difference, but I know that there's like rivalry

between the huts too. I think Upper Huts, the further away one, eh? Yeah, Upper Hutt's heading towards the way. Why do you like that one? It's further away. Further away. Because you can imagine living on a farm or something.

There's like bigger blocks of land up there. Yeah, there's some land. Lower Hutt, like we used to call it, like Lower Hutt is the hut. Right. And I technically grew up there in Eastbourne as part of Lower Hutt. Oh, don't try to tone down your postcode. Everyone tells me when I try to say that I'm a hut girl because I grew up in Eastbourne as part of Lower Hutt. Oh, don't try to tone down your postcode. Everyone tells me when I try to say that I'm a Hutt girl because I grew up in Eastbourne. No.

I found an original map of Wellington and it says Eastbourne has rich bastards and occasional penguins. Wow, it's not wrong. Yeah, you're around the coast. Don't try to make yourself seem like an everyday person. You've got a doctor's with a chandelier and you went to a private school. Number five on the list of the top six Wellington TED Talks you're going to miss out on now is a TED Talk called

When was the last time you saw a bee in the beehive? A TED Talk about colony collapse. Okay, so it's a humorous name for the TED Talk, but it's got a serious underlying message. Very serious environmental situation. Behind consistently voted one of the ugliest buildings in our country. I love it. I love it.

I love it. Same. It's so unique. Yeah. I love it. I used to hate the Sky Tower, but I'm kind of like, it's gone around full circle again now. Yeah.

Number four on the list of the top six Wellington TED Talks you're going to miss out on. Porirua is titled Porirua, Wellington's Stepkid. A TED Talk about reluctantly having someone hang around that you can't tell to piss off. Ruthless. Yeah. There's going to be a lot of Porirua listeners very angry at you. It's its own city, isn't it? Porirua.

No, I'm just saying. Whoa, this is a Wellingtonian TED Talk. Porirua don't need them. Yeah, right. Okay. They're doing fine getting pregnant all by themselves.

Number three on the list... Hayley is aghast at that. Come on. I have not a bad word to say about Porirua. Coastal. Beautiful. Beaches and stuff.

Number three. That's just what I say about coastal, but I don't know. Number three on the list of the top six Wellington TED Talks you're going to miss out on is a TED Talk called Coffee. A TED Talk about what you say you love about Wellington when the weather's shit, which is most of the time.

But you can't beat it on a good day. That's what you say when it's a good day. Yeah. Or like when we were there last week And it was raining And they were like I should have been here yesterday Oh yeah

Why'd you bring the winter with you? Exactly Number two on the list Of the top six Wellington TED Talks You're going to miss out on That TEDx and Wellington's cancelled Is a TED Talk called Individuality If we're all doing it

Doesn't that mean we aren't? A TED Talk about the Wellington hipster. Okay, yeah. And number one on the Wellington TED Talks you're going to miss out on is called Wellington, a pound, a pound? No. Wellington, a town powered by tax. A TED Talk about how everyone is wearing government lanyards around their neck.

They are. What was the drippy street? Lambton Quay. Lambton Quay, very drippy street. Very drippy street, yeah. And everyone was wearing, it was lunch break. Everyone was wearing a government job lanyard around their neck. Your little slip up there, a pound.

There used to be a pound in Wellington. Have you ever heard of pound in Wellington? It was a very famous gay bar. I was going to say, that's just like a great name for a gay bar. Was that the one, wasn't there a Kumara? Big K, yeah.

Big Kumara. Was that a gay bar? That's going back some time. That was the kind of, it was a student bar that you would stick to the floor when you walked in. Oh yeah, that's the good stuff.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to fall over. It'd be like getting on one of those Velcro flywalls. Oh, no, you're stuck to the floor if there's a little earthquake. Yeah. I'm stuck to the floor, baby. I'm not falling over. I'm not going anywhere. That is today's top six.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I was bandied about quite a lot this idea that in lockdown, all we did, and those, I mean, adults, was sit around and day drink. And I, that was certainly the case at my house. I did a lot, a bit of that in level four, and then level

three last year, I was like, no drinking this time, eat healthy, and it was good, I did it. Wow. Wow, you're an angel. Where's his medal, ladies and gentlemen? Thank you. Modern day hero. But do you not think a lot of people did that, though,

second time around? Because I knew people that were second time around. Hold on, it's my phone ringing. Hold on. It's the treasury. Hello. Am I getting an award? Oh, my God.

So that's great news. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Thanks. Am I getting an award? Kate Shepard's off the $10 note You're on Oh my god

For not drinking during a lockdown What a shithead What a shithead That was ages ago Just because I'm on about it Just Well we're talking about the 2020 drinking stats We are indeed

Kate Shepard was probably a bit pissed When she you know Was getting out there rallying Oh she was on the sherrys all the time She was slurring her way through those marches. Anyway, apparently. You know what? Why shouldn't we?

Stats New Zealand have released our numbers of drinking for 2020. And it turns out it didn't increase at all. Overall, over the year. Right. Do you think it's because somebody who worked in alcohol and they said that there was way more drinking at home, but because the bars were shut for that six weeks, so people couldn't go out drinking, it was about the same.

Yeah, so it's not saying that we didn't drink more during lockdown. It's not broken down into months. But overall in the year year where I think, I mean, I was definitely expecting to see the numbers be like, ooh, a big peak. Spike, yeah. We didn't at all. By how much?

Well, in the end. I've thrown you here. No, you have. It's all right. The totals, okay, the country's total, oh my God, the way we drink. So the way they measure it is in litres. How much we drink in litres.

Right. So we drank 10.998 million litres of alcohol. That's beer, wine, spirits. Beer, wine, and spirits. 10, 10, 10, what? 10. Oh no, it does have a little increase, but not that much. 0.8 million. We're seeing an increase in wines and spirits and a decrease in beer consumption. That's what we drank 11.352 million in 2020. So there's a very small jump there. So per population, that's 8.719 litres.

A year. Yeah, and that's only down like minute amounts, like what, point mils. I can drink two litres in a weekend. Easy. Easy. That's crazy, isn't it? That's easy still.

But they're saying that actually hazardous drinking, which because there's a bit of a reputation in New Zealand that we do have a binge drinking problem, not saying we don't. I certainly wouldn't look at any particular area. But they're saying that hazardous drinking as a whole is going down in New Zealand. And especially they're saying our young people aren't drinking as much. And that is true. Like when I look at people's younger sisters who are 18 or even 16 and the likes,

and I think about my social circle at that time, it's a totally different culture. They're getting together and doing little TikTok dances and playing a board game. Yeah. Losers. Losers. Losers. I was out there, yeah, looking around, like sniffing around. Just give them time. Once they get a job and they need to dull the pain of life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give themselves some waking excitement. Yeah, sure. They're saying over lockdown last year, 36% of Kiwis of drinking age didn't drink at all. And 34% were drinking less and only half consumed about the same.

So they're saying that actually we didn't drink more. Right. And then there's you two, Vaughan and Hayley, which you're pretty made up for. I bulk order wine. Yeah, we bulk ordered wine

and spirits. And then we had some little deliveries as well. Right. Yeah, Ursula Carlson. I find it dangerous having wine, like a wine rack or like wine. We don't have one. Because you're like, oh, well, it's there, isn't it?

And then you drink it. When people have a little, yeah, my parents got a wine fridge. I was like, I'm not, I could never have one of those. Because when it's there, it's there to be drunk. And it's the perfect temperature. Put your reds on top your whites on the bottom scientifically

that's a perfect temperature ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast ZM's $50,000 secret sound it's all thanks to Star streaming now on Disney Plus including more originals like Solar Opposites

you can learn more at DisneyPlus.com. Soundkeeper Owls, good morning. Kia ora, morning. Alright, we had a jackpot. Mmm, $30,000. Dude, and we've got clues every day at 4 o'clock as well. I know, how good. This is nuts. Alright, so if you've missed any of these clues,

you can go to the, what's the best way? Instagram. Yep, Instagram, ZM Secret Sound. Alright, you can pour through all of those, and every time somebody guesses, and it's wrong, we put that wrong guess up. So you can pour through those, pour through the clues. Just in case you're doubling up, we don't want any double ups. Claire joins us this morning. Good morning, Claire.

Oh, good morning. All right, $30,000. While you've been on hold there, have you been spending that money in your head? Because that's a lot of money. Yeah, it's already gone. So what's it going on? What are you spending it on? Definitely a holiday and pay off a few debts.

And maybe we'll stock up on some order online wine for the next lockdown. There she is. She's planning ahead. I like to get the mystery wines. You know, there's like some online places where I get my wine. They do a mystery wine. Mystery semi on board. Because you know that it's expensive and they don't want to be seen selling it for cheap,

eh? Is that why? But you get to pick what kind of wine it is. Yeah, yeah. So it's a mystery wine, but it will give you reviews of it, but it won't tell you which wine it is. I don't want some cab serve Malo rubbish to it. Oh, good.

All right. Well, Claire, let's see if we can get you that holiday, your debts paid off and some mystery wine. This is the secret sound. For $30,000 Claire, what is it? I think it is the steam wand on a

big coffee machine turning the steam on. Oh, yeah. Is that the thing that goes in and froths up the mouth? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's the mouth. And it goes... Yeah, but when you put it on and when you clean it, you give it a little... Yeah, and it's hot.

That's right. So it could be at the start or at the end, yeah? Yeah, could be. That's a. So it could be at the start or at the end, yeah? Yeah, could be. That's a good guess. All right, Claire, where are you calling from today? Wellington. Wellington. All right, we've got Wellington backing you up.

Yeah. Hayley's excited. Hayley hot. Oh, yeah, such an Eastbourne thing to say. Oh, stop it. Eastbourne shaming me. I was there yesterday. I love it. Yeah, I love it. I love Eastbourne thing to say. Oh, stop it. Eastbourne shaming me. I was there yesterday. I love it.

Yeah, I love it. I love Eastbourne. Hayley's trying to be like, I'm actually lower heart. We're like, calm down. All right, Claire. $30,000. Is your guess correct? No, that is not a secret sound.

Well, you still get $100, Claire. Go get your wine. Yes, get some mystery wine with that. And we'll have another shot for you at 8 o'clock this morning. Well, it was a big year last year, but one of the biggest things that happened was the frenzy over Smeg knives. Went absolutely out of control.

1.2 million knives were given away as part of that promotion. How many? Yeah. We talked to someone, eh, and they said that it was so underestimated how many knives they'd need and how people from all over the area would flood in to go to the big New Worlds for knives that ended up costing. I mean, people still had to shop at New World, but they could be shopping at the small ones that ran out of knives. So then they'd take the stickers to the big one where they hadn't shopped. So the big one hadn't actually benefited financially from them being there.

Yeah, and that's why at the time there were, you know, those news stories about New World telling some of the local people, telling their staff, don't give them to out-of-towners. Yeah. A lot of the actual owners of each New World had to buy. They got a certain amount of knives, but then they had to buy extra. Yeah. People were going crazy. They weren't going to their customers. So that's where everybody was getting pissy.

Yeah. Well, the promotion ended after, you know, like people were hawking them off on Trade Me for like so much. I was like, you know, you can go on this Meg website and just buy a knife. You can buy the knives. For less than that sticker booklet you're bidding for. But now, so now we've got our knives. I got one because a woman gave me a full book

just in the street. She was like, do you want this? Yeah. I got one. Just on Trade Me, when you said people were hawking them off, you can still buy them on Trade Me. There's a whole set going currently for $280 with knife block. Smeg knives, $160, $500, knife block and full set.

They're pretty good knives. They're really good knives. Like a light, well-balanced knife. Here lieth the issue. Okay. It turns out they're sharp. They're very sharp. They are chef sharp.

And one chef is coming out to say, you've got to keep an eye on those things because they are chef-quality knives and we are not chefs. We don't know how to have the knife skills of a chef and a lot of people, they're cutting themselves. Aaron did it on our smeg knife. We've got a, we've got, well,

I just got scolded before by Mountie for keeping my knives in a drawer. Oh yeah, because I mean, you were right. The block was ugly. The block is ugly. But get a knife block. I've got a knife block, a magnetic one. It's amazing.

I need to get a knife strip. But Aaron went to fish out one of our usual, we've got Japanese knives. They're sharp. And then he went into the drawer like this. And the smeg knife. Oh, yeah. Slippy sliced his finger open.

Oh, I've seen a couple of people on stories that have done this. Yeah. It's crazy. Pip from Wellington, she was cutting an avocado, famously quite an easy thing to cut. You know, you cut around the seed, sliced halfway through her finger to the bone. Yes, but that's on her.

That's not how you're supposed to slice an avocado for a start. Unless you're very... Do it on the bench. Well, she said the benefit of the knife being so sharp, it was actually a really clean cut, so it didn't hurt that much. You know when you cut yourself, you know when you're cutting pumpkin with a sort of a half blunt knife and you're like, gosh! And it shreds the skin

on its way down to the bone. This was just a beautiful little cut. I needed to stitch nice and clean. ACC figures have shown 23 claims of knife injuries with the word smegonit. Yes! 23 claims of knife injuries with the word smeg in it. It's kind of like a

you're angry at the knife that you gave so much for. Yeah. But also it's a little bit of a flex. Yeah. Yeah, I got a smeg knife, but I've cut my thumb off with my smeg knife.

I'm going to put this down in the ACC form. That's since November. Wow, really? So this chef is saying, you know, you need to go on YouTube and watch how to properly use a knife as a chef. You know the finger tuck thing that you're supposed to do when you're holding on to the thing

you're cutting, your beetroot or whatever. You tuck your fingers and you cut on an angle slightly away from the hands. You're not just going down, down, phalange gone. You're going away, away, away, away. So if you've got your sharp knives, good on you, but absolutely. Logan Brown, famous chef, he has said, Logan Brown, famous chef, Logan Brown, chef, Josh, has said you've

got to slow down and focus. I know, because that's the thing, if you're watching YouTube or you're watching TV and you get distracted, that's when you can have an accident. And I never cook without watching things. Yeah. Or if you're just trying to do like they do to that teppanyaki restaurant where you're just like, what? I don't know if we should be jumping into that kind of level of food prep.

Yeah. Calm down, smegas. Calm down, smegas. Calm down, you smeg. Slow it down. I've been distracted slightly by Vaughan's puppies. It's so nice having the puppies in, especially around a Wednesday or a Thursday when we're a little bit, you know. Do you want to take them home? Do you want to have them for the night? No, we only just, you know, because we're at the house. No, I have them. Fletch, do you want them? No.

Do you want them? See, this is the thing. Puppies are cute, but like you say, at 2am in the morning, they keep you up. And we've got cats. My cat's keeping us up at the moment. They love cats. Look at them. That's the size of a cat. They're your problem. Now, the use of buy now, pay later

in New Zealand grew 10% last year. And that's just not, because afterpay is the big one, isn't it? That's the fave, afterpay. Yes, or lay-by. I don't understand it. And I've asked before and I had it explained and I forgot. Well, it's kind of like you get the goods, right?

It's like a lay-by, but you get the goods. It's lay-by. So, yeah, you get the goods straight up and it splits it into either, like, depending on the company, four or six interest free payments. So how... Who makes money? By missing a payment. Like any credit card, loan

company, payment plan. They're banking on people not being able to make payments. Because otherwise it doesn't cost you anything extra. Is there an admin fee? No. Oh, no. 0.01% maybe. Like a teeny tiny one.

So it is banking on the fact that you're going to make a boo-boo and then what do you get stung with? Do you get a sizable penalty? Absolutely. Okay. But depending on that, you know, it'll be like clawing it back. Well, so they're saying that buy now, pay later payments could outstrip credit card payments by 2024.

I don't have a credit card. You said before you didn't get away with nightlife. What do you do when you check into like a hotel or something? Give them my debit plus. Right. What about before those? Call my daddy. Daddy.

Daddy. Daddy, I need a credit card. Daddy. No, I just can't be trusted with a credit card. I'm not. I'm a lover of clothing and spending money. Lover of spending. Lover of spending.

And I just would rather not have that over my head. I've had things like cue cards before, you know. Didn't I learn that lesson once, won't do it again. Okay, somebody messaged me in. Katie's just messaged me.

She said that the shops who have Afterpay also pay a fee to have it. So that's how they make money all through people not paying on time. Those are their two streams of money. Oh, that makes sense.

It would require a scale of economy, right? It would need lots of people to be using it. Every store, every store has it. How do they catch on? And even if I can afford... Well, just because people want stuff now and they don't have the money.

But there was already a system to do that. No, but you don't get the stuff straight away when you do lay-by. No, but I mean like credit cards or like... Yeah, but nobody wants a credit card debt with heaps of interest. But then these are an interest accruing debt waiting to happen. No, but you get your two weeks to get... And it splits it into very manageable little chunks.

Right. Sometimes even if I can afford it, like even if it's like an $80 thing and I've got the money in my bank account, I'll be like... You'll still have to pay it. I'll just say, yeah. Because you might have to pay $20 now and then you've got $60 to do whatever and then you've just got to find another $20 before the afterpay payment

comes out next time. See, I grew up in a family so terrified of debt. Yeah. Like we were made to be scared. Like when I was growing up, there was ghosts, vampires, and debt. Like I can remember as a kid just being like, you don't want to get into debt, son. Don't buy anything you can't afford,

because what if it gets stolen and then you still owe someone money for it, but you don't have it anymore? Yeah. I grew up, a mortgage was okay because you had the thing, right? You had the house or the property, but anything else, mum was like,

don't buy it if you can't afford it. So in Australia alone, buy now, pay later is a $320 billion market opportunity in Australia alone. Yikes. And you're saying Afterpay, which is the brand, right? That's not,

that's what they call themselves. Yeah. That's one brand of buy now, pay later. Buy now, pay later. Okay, so Afterpay isn't what it's called. That's just a brand of it. So out of all, and just reading an article, out of all the Buy Now, Pay Later players, the total number of customers across Australia and New Zealand is 4.9 million.

Because that started in Australia, Afterpay, didn't it? It's an Australian thing. Yeah. And it's gone into, like, New Zealand, America, all over the world. Yeah. Yeah, crazy. But yeah, do you reckon that's going to mean what's going to be the credit cards then if we're not going to be using those?

Because they've got to start figuring that their 20% interest rates aren't ideal. Yeah, because you don't need them. Like anything for online shopping or like hotels that you say you've got your debit plus, which is you can only spend what you have. Yeah. And then with everything else, online shopping and the likes, and you can use Afterpay in stores. Why wouldn't you?

So it's an old, it's an old fad. It's the dinosaur, is it, of the financial sector? It'll be the check. Oh, how embarrassing. Yeah, you'll be putting it in your credit card. Oh, God. Okay, boomer. Although the only thing that I,

because I just put everything on my card and pay it off with my account straight away. Yeah. It's just the air points. Because then you get points, yeah. That's the only thing I'm using. Otherwise, I wouldn't use my card. Those air points are going to be handy

with all that international travel you're in. Yeah. But you can get, I've got a debit plus card that does air points. That gets points. Oh. Welcome to the modern world. Somebody said,

this is a text message in, they work in retail, people tend to buy more using Afterpay. So where they might have only bought one thing and paid for it, they'll buy three things and Afterpay them. So it's raising the overall average amount people spend, and therefore making money for both Afterpay and the shop.

And then you get cool stuff. Three cool things instead of one. You still have to pay for it, by the way. Yeah, but that's a tomorrow problem. Let me put the fear of God into people. Let me put the fear of God into people. Don't buy things you can't afford. Do it. Buy it. You deserve it, girl.

Queen. Yeah. We're like the devils on the shoulder there. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Experts are at it again. Experts. So should call them. The Fun Plus. They have reported on something that I know for a fact all three of us here did in our childhoods. How do you know?

What is it? I've talked to her about it before. Okay. Hayley, I'm making a huge presumption, but I think that you probably did. Safe to say. It is having a sip of your parents' alcoholic beverage when you probably did. Safe to say? It is having a sip of your parents' alcoholic beverage when you're like a little kid. Oh, absolutely.

But that was the thing, you're like, can I have a sip? And they'd be like, no! My grandad would always let us have the first sip because he'd be like, suck the foam off. Yeah, yeah, I would have the froth. So you'd be clearing his beer. I can remember as like a little kid, my grandad making me a shandy, which is half

lemonade, half beer. Yeah, but I love a shandy. How refreshing is a shandy? With like a little after the night before, you know, oh god, I'm feeling a bit dusty. Have a shandy. Have a shandy. A bit of sugar, a bit of beer. Yeah. And it was kind of the Rattler before the Rattler existed, eh? Yes, the Rattler.

Yeah. But yeah, I would always, if my dad would pour, you know, a little pint of beer and enjoy for himself. And then me and my brother used to get a little sip. Terrible. How old were you? I can remember having a sip of Miami Wine Cooler. That was a favourite.

Or at the end of the cask of wine, going to like blow it up, but at the first go, yes. Do you think parents did it because it kind of made you a little bit it's just shut you up or made you go to sleep oh like the old naked party symbol of whiskey yeah yeah uh well scientists have found a link between child alcohol sipping and seeing alcohol positively from a young age which can lead to uh problems with alcohol um later in life. So in the UK, I don't know what the situation is here,

but in the UK, it's not illegal for a child aged five up to 16 to drink alcohol at home. Five? But don't the French, don't children, French children, little Frenchettes? No, they do Tommy Tippy Chardonnays. Frenchlings, yes. They pour a Chardonnay into their Tom Tip and have a little... But don't they have a wine with lunch sometimes?

Yeah, they do. They have a wine with lunch. French and Italian. The Italians, they have a Prosecco with breakfast. Oh, that is it. A bit of orange juice in there as well? No, no, no. No, straight Prosecco.

The legal drinking age in France is 18 for all alcohol, including wine and beer. Before 2009, it was legal for 16 to 18-year-olds to drink fermented beverages such as cider, wine, and beer. But at home, that's like out and about. I mean, at home, it's parents' rules really, isn't it? But five, jeepers. And the Russians.

But definitely, when I'm talking, I'd have a little sip on my dad's beer. It would just be like a taste. Because I didn't even like the taste, but I just wanted granddad to be like, yeah, you want a shandy? You don't like a beer, do you? No. Not even now.

No. No. Well, so there you go for any parents out there. Give them a little sip. You've got to turn them into an alcoholic. I call my kids bluff because August is always like, are you having a wine? I love wine.

I'm like, no, you don't. She's like, I do. So I pour her one. I'm like, drink it. And she's always like, I don't like this wine. You've got the wrong wine. I'm like, no, you don't like wine. She's more of a shoddy girl.

She's not an anything girl. She's a Sprite girl. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Great news, no new community cases overnight. But we still have to wait until tomorrow's cabinet meeting to find out if Auckland... Yeah, we're not out of the woods. No.

We're not out of the woods. Let's remember what happened last time. There was a short level three. Remember, we all thought we were out of the woods. We're not out of the woods. Everyone keep doing what you're supposed to do. We're still in the woods. We? We all thought we were out of the woods. We're not out of the woods. Everyone keep doing what you're supposed to be doing. We're still in the woods. We're still in the woods.

Pitch a tent. We're in the woods. We're in a glade. We're in a glade. In the woods. But you can see the woods in the background. You can see that there's woods all around. Woods around.

All around. So we're in a clearing. And everyone's like, oh, we must be out of the woods. Look again. What's on the other side of that clearing? Trees. More woods. More woods.

More woods. We're not out of the woods. Okay. Keep walking. A whole damn forest. I can hear a river. That doesn't mean anything. Rivers Trees. More woods. More woods. We're not out of the woods. Yeah, right. Keep walking. I can hear a river. That doesn't mean anything. Rivers can run through the woods. A bubbling brook. Birds, birds in the woods.

Brilliant. We're not out of them. Right. Now that I feel like, oh, now I'm picturing walking in a woods. Yeah, it's quite a beautiful thought, isn't it? It's quite a tranquil thought. Go to the woods. Yeah. All careful with the dangerous native creatures we have. Oh, it's quite a beautiful thought, isn't it? It's quite a tranquil thought. Go to the woods. Yeah, all careful with the dangerous native creatures we have. Oh, I know. You know.

I get pecked by a kiwi. You could possibly get frightened by a bird. A guy on the internet made an admission. He said, I want this to be a thingy. Say, I am age and I can't insert what you can't do at your age. He started, he said, I'm 44 and I can't swim.

Oh, yeah. And this wasn't that guy with that sea lord ad either. This was a guy just saying he can't. I mean, that kind of depends on where you grew up. I had a friend who moved from Zimbabwe to New Zealand when he was in his 30s and he was like, I can't swim. And I said, oh, why? And he was like, there wasn't any water near me.

And also, yeah, like it was all part of the curriculum, part of school. You learn to swim. Yeah, because we're surrounded by water. I did not know that Zimbabwe is a landlocked country. I did not know that. I thought it had some coast. Mozambique's all like, no, we're here. No, we all just stand between

you and the water. And I guess, yeah, if you grew up in a landlocked country and you didn't have a swimming pool at school or nearby, then why would you learn to swim? You just wouldn't know, would you? In the bathtub? Do some laps? But even I know people that have grown up in New Zealand still don't know how to swim. Yeah, they just never did it, I guess.

And then I guess because they haven't been, or they didn't learn, or they weren't confident enough, they're like, well, I'm not going in water, or anywhere near it, or they don't bother. Quite the missing out on some fun. I have a friend in his 40s who doesn't know how to drive. Becoming a more and more popular thing.

Well, why? If you live in a place where you can walk everywhere. Do they live in what? Like downtown Wellington? And so you don't need to use to catch the bus? Nah. But what if they go somewhere and they drive the rental car? His wife drives. That's a life skill that you should have.

Even if you don't drive, you should know how. Well, yeah, because a lot of jobs you need a license as well. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think about what I can't do. I can't whistle. You can't whistle? Like I can do a little think about what I can't do. I can't whistle. You can't whistle? Like, I can do a little one,

but I can't go big with a whistle. Is it your techniques? You need to watch some YouTube tutorials. I feel like you're you're you're pursing the lips

too much. Yeah, you're going Okay, well, I won't I won't purse the lips as much. Can you use you're going to use your tongue like

That's Okay, well, I won't piss the lips as much. You've got to use your tongue like... Oh, did you hear that one? That was a good one. Hang on, give it to us again. It just comes out as a blow. Are you blowing or sucking? No, but it sounds like... I'm blowing.

I have a friend Eli Who can only blow In Who can only whistle in Oh right Now see I can't even do that Oh you've got to work on that That's a life skill There you go

There's something I can't do What if you're in the woods Like we were just talking about And you get stuck Well I've got an emergency whistle Yeah Get a whistle back And a flare

Can you do the finger one No you're doing that Completely wrong You just hooked your own cheeks On both sides I don't know how to do it whistle back in a flare. Can you do the finger one? No, you're doing that completely wrong. You just hooked your own cheeks on both sides. I don't know how to do it. Hooked your lips and pulled them apart. Well, this has kind of become a thing online. People are sharing and opening up.

And we thought, well, let's do this this morning. How old are you and what can't you do? I can't relate. I'm 31. I can do everything. I'm 27. And I can't remember how old I am. I'm 31 and I can't. I don't know.

I can't. Relate to people that went to a public school? Yeah. She does have trouble. Shut up. So who pays the teacher? Oh, my God. The government. Shut up. So who pays the teachers? Oh, my God. The government.

The government. Are they using my money to pay teachers? Don't isolate me from our audience. Why don't your parents pay money so you can go to school so you can get teachers? They pay the teachers and then there wouldn't be such a drone on the government. I'm going to ring my dad.

You'll be really mean to me. So we want to know how old you are and what you can't do. Started as a thing online, people just anonymously sharing or... Yeah, a guy just said I'm 44, can't swim. And then it was one of those things and you could retweet it and put your...

What you can't do in there. Grace, how old are you and what can't you do? Hey, guys, I'm 28 and I can't roly-poly. Grace! Do you mean like don't, don't, don't. Remember I roly-polied a couple of years ago and I ruined my neck and shoulder. Like proper ruined it.

Like don't just go willy-nilly with your roly-poly. Exactly. I just get so scared I'm going to break my neck. Even since, like, a child, I'd go to go forward, and I'd always just go sideways. Don't do it. Have you just thought about rolling down a hill long ways, Grace? Oh, yeah.

Those ones are quite easy. Yeah. Those ones are fine. Careful, though, Grace. That roll can get out of hand very quickly. Well, yeah, it depends on the steepness of the incline of the hill, doesn't it? Thanks for your call, Grace. Jordan, how old are you and what can't you do?

Hey, I'm 27 and I can't tell the time. Unlike an analogue clock. Yeah. So digital clocks are fine. It's the analogue. Yeah. Digital clocks are all good, but analogue clocks, nah. Like what? Do you need a bit of time

or you just cannot do it? No. Sometimes with a little bit of time I'm all good, but if it's like a difficult time, like it's in between the lines, then I've got no idea. In between the lines. Brilliant. Alright. Thanks, Jordan. Alright. 0800

DARS.M. Keep your calls, your texts coming in. 0800 DARS. Alright. Thanks Jordan. Alright 0800 Diles.m keep your calls your texts coming in 0800 Diles.m 9696 How old are you and what can't you do? Like whistle. Oh. That was good. That was getting there. That was better. Relax your lips. We're talking about how old you are and what you can't

do. Here's some text messages. My husband's 29 and can't click his fingers. Bend and snap is a sad sight. Aww. Are you ambidextrous? Is he? Yeah. Oh, you can do, I can't do the left one. Well, I'm

learning about you. It's a light one. It's a light click. Listen to your lefty. Could you do your left one? No, right and then left. But you're doing a different finger on your left. Do the middle finger on your left. No, I'm doing the same finger. No, you're not.

You can't even tell what finger you're using. Bletch was trying to click on his left hand with his index finger and his thumb. Oh my god, and the other one's the same. I can't do it. Why was I doing it on the different one? Because you're weakening it. Give it a bit of strength. What's up with your weak left hand? Work your left hand.

Get on that little grip machine. No, it's the same at the gym. Like, I have this. My right bicep is bigger than my left bicep. It is. Is it? Crazy, eh? Oh, my gosh.

Is this since you had your deep vein thrombosis? Like, that time that half your face went saggy? I had a mild stroke after my plane flight. Yeah. No, I've never been able to do that. You've always been weak on the left. Yeah, I'm a deep vein thrombosis survivor, Hayley. You didn't know this about me.

That's beautiful. Went to hospital. Had a backless gown. And a saggy face. I'm so sorry. Somebody said, I'm 33. I can't tell my lefts from my rights. In fact, there's a few of those. 28. I can't tell my lefts from my rights

In fact there's a few of those 28 I can't tell my lefts from rights The woman in the news what a month ago that got left and right L and R

tattooed on her like Hands Hands and everyone's like oh that's so stupid but people actually have an issue with this

Yeah I know lots of people that can't do left and right But you just make the L You hold up Yeah I'm left handed so I can always feel it I'm 36 and I can I can always feel it.

I'm 36 and I can't float on my back in a pool, somebody said. Just hold your breath. Floating's tough. That's not for everybody. The legs start to sink. Gotta imagine,

get to the Dead Sea. Get to the Dead Sea. Yeah, you'd love that. Or a float tank. When this whole COVID thing's done, float tanks are great. You'd have a float tank. Oh, I've never done one

and I never will. Nah, neither. I'm an anxious... I'm scared of being encapsulated in a thick liquid. You should be scared of where your mind can take you in 60 minutes of sense deprivation. Can't do it. I won't do it. Never.

We should do a couples one for a laugh. So you've got each other. It's in the dark and it's like, are you still scared? I'm a little bit scared what do we have to wear knickers so what do you wear full clothes

no nude nude do they empty the water yeah you get fresh bath water oh right I'll do one with you they hum it in there

and salt it up right yeah interesting you guys are like are you scared are you scared and I'll be in the third tank

being like I think the mushrooms are kicking in. Oh, that's my worst nightmare. Experienced. I'm 32 and I can't put air in a tire. No reason as to why they can't put air in a tire. Maybe it's scared it will explode. I was pumping up a bike tire once and it got twisted and exploded.

Boom. It was the most horrific sound and I got the biggest fright. Someone said, I'm 30, I have a doctorate and I can't spell January or February. They're only right in this message because of autocorrect. January and February.

February. It's like library. Yeah, library. Library, February. I'm 46 and I can't go to the day without biting my nails. I've got kind of like, I go hard Library. Yeah, library. Library, February. I'm 46 and I can't go to the day without biting my nails. I've got kind of like, I go hard on one nail each day. So you've got two work weeks of nails there. Yeah.

Save your thumb for a Monday. I'm 49, I can't do those underarm farts where you put your arm. Oh, I can't do them either. No, neither. Because it hurts your hand. When you slam your elbow, it hurts your hand. Yeah, I've got... Oh, yeah. It's like a little...

It hurts. It hurts. Nah, I've got nothing. And where's the air coming out? The front or the back? I don't know. Oh, you... Hey!

But it hurts. I'm sore. I'm sore already. I've done it twice and I'm sore. Jesus. I smashed my iPhone. Did you? With the microphone These cost a fortune to replace

It is absolutely The microphone just smashed my iPhone Ah, fuck Can I swear? Am I allowed one swear? Am I allowed one swear? I feel like I'm allowed a swear I'm allowed one swear? Am I allowed one swear? I feel like I'm allowed a swear. I'm allowed one swear.

No! Oh, my God. That is... Do you remember... I'm having a terrible day. Do you remember the amount of time you had to visit that hole in the wall guy? I'm not going to him. I'm just going to have to pay a small fortune to have the phone screen replaced.

Morn, you have welcomed this day upon yourself. You arrived in a terrible mood. This is all these dogs' fault. I can't believe I smashed it while trying to arm fart. I had one successful arm fart and then I did it again. I knocked it

over and smashed my phone with a... It's actually like really bad. I'll warn you now. If you're adverse to swearing, I'm going to swear. No, I'm going to. And right at the end of this voice break. No. I'm just going to scream it.

Flesh fawner Megan, the podcast, ZM. He's not having seconds of swear words. $50,000 secret sound. Tell them what the secret sound is. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Currently the jackpot, $30,000 secret sound. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Currently the jackpot, $30,000. All thanks to Star. Streaming now on Disney+, including more originals like Solar Opposites.

You can learn more at Disney+.com. And Soundkeeper Owls, how many new iPhone screens could you buy with $30,000? Oh, quite a few. Well, I can actually tell you. Mine's actually, the good news is I bought that AppleCare. Oh,000. Quite a few. Well, I can actually tell you, mine's actually, the good news is I bought that AppleCare. Oh, yeah. And so I just have to pay a little service fee,

but then I can get it repaired. If it was out of warranty, these phones cost like $800 to get a new screen. That's a new phone. I know. I'm not going third party again because remember my last phone I went third party, I just have to keep going back to the hole in the wall guy. Oh, dear.

Oh, it's not your day, Ron. It's tough being able to afford the latest iPhone. All right. Ingrid, good morning. Morning. All right. So is your morning going better than Vaughn's? Yeah, I think it's going better than Vaughn's.

Shut up, Ingrid. Ingrid. All right. Vaughn, if I win, I'll buy you a new screen. Oh! Ingrid! Ingrid! Ingrid!

Ingrid! Yes! Alright, Ingrid, so the secret's that we're at $30,000. Have you gone over all the clothes? We get a new clue

every day at 4 o'clock. Yes, I have. Okay. And I think it lines up okay well this is a secret sound for thirty thousand dollars ingrid what is it i think it's doing up a zip doing up a zip it's quite a common thing we do these days. People are always zipping things. And merging like a zip. Zipping.

No, we're not merging like a zip every day. I'm going to call you out, Aucklanders. Yeah, learn how to merge, guys. That's not a bad guess. Up close, that could be if it was a quick. But a zip is more of a zip. It's more of a meow. That was wrong.

Hang on, that sound was wrong. Like a cat. That was a cat being zipped. I feel like that doesn't sound as metallic-y or like... There's definitely a metallic element, though. I was saying that yesterday about the sound. Okay. All right, Ingrid.

For $30,000 and a new screen for Vaughan, is that the secret sound? I'm sorry to say that is not. Ingrid, dammit, Ingrid! You've ruined everything! That's all right, I'll flick you through my bank details And you can just put the money across Absolutely not Alright, Ingrid

You did guess it wrong But you do win $100 Every wrong guess gets $100 Congratulations Oh, cool More chances coming up today If you think you know what the secret sound is You want to give it a go

11, 1, 4 and 5 ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Hey, you on the phone I bet I can guess your mum's name. Vaughan's broken his iPhone screen, so... I'm broken, I'm a broken man. You are a broken man. The dogs kept you awake all night.

You've seen Harquin, Phoenix and the Joker, the day that it just all becomes too much. Yeah. Nah, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. These people are in far worse situations. They're just tired a little bit. These bloody dogs, everyone's like, oh, so cute.

They have been cute. They have been sleeping this morning. I know they've done nothing but sleep since I brought them here, but they are barking. Okay, well. Stop fighting! Tessa joins us. Good morning, Tessa.

Good morning. All right, now Vaughn is going to ask you five questions about your mum and then has 15 seconds to try and guess her name. Now, you are on an absolute winning hot streak, Vaughn Smith. There's even been a couple of dad's names in there. It's the one thing I've got going for me. This morning. Tessa, he's having a bad day,

so I don't know if this is going to affect how Vaughan does this. I reckon he's going to play more aggressively and therefore get it. Oh, okay. No, sometimes it's just about relaxing and getting into the vibe of things. All right, I've got five questions about your mum, Tessa, and then I list them off. Question one, what's mum's go-to and then I list them off. Question one, what's mum's go-to cereal?

Oh, Special K. In my mind, I was like, it's either going to be Sultana brand or Special K because mums love those. Yeah, and you know how much salt is in a dehydrated grape in a Sultana?

No. So much. So go with that and go with Special K. All right. It's mum's attitude. But that Sultana could give you a bit of energy for tennis. Okay.

All right, question two. Speaking of which, does your mum play any sports? No sports, but loves walking and hiking. She loves a hike. Loves a hike, yep. Okay. I'm going to put a hike there. Special K, she could take that with.

Yeah. But then she'd need to carry milk. Unless she carries milk powder. Makes it dry milk. She could just have it dry. Special. Ugh. Other than like hiking up a mountain with a bag of dry Special K.

What are mum's siblings' names? Gary. Gary. Just Gary. Okay, Gary. Gary from Crime Squad. Get in here, Gary and Nancy. You're terrible at this game.

You're terrible at this game. Get in there, Gary and Michelle. Okay. Michelle feels like a... Yeah. Stay in your lane, honey. Is your mum a dog or a cat person? Definitely dog.

Oh, okay. Do you guys have a... This is just a subset question. This is my fifth and final question, but do you have dogs? My partner and I have a dog, and she loves him. Oh, right, but your mum doesn't have her own dog?

No, no, no. Does she refer to your dog as her grandbaby or her third grandbaby or something like that? She wouldn't admit it, but she does. She does. Yeah, okay. And apart from New Zealand, what's your mum's favourite country?

Probably England. Oh, okay. And apart from New Zealand, what's your mum's favourite country? Probably England. Oh, okay. Is she British? Has she got British roots? Yeah. I bet she loves Emmerdale. Okay. Because you can tell a lot by where mum loves.

Like if she said Australia and Noosa, paints a whole different picture. It does. Yeah, that's why these questions... Patsy loves Italy. These questions are scientifically designed for each individual case. And the question, the answer to the question before completely changes what the next question would be.

Yeah, it really does. I'm somewhat of a psychologist about this. Okay. So... Tessa, we are going to give you, well, Vaughan, 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out stop, that's my mum's name. Okay.

Vaughan Smith, are you ready? Correct. Your time starts now. Andrea, Paula, Julie, Megan, Melanie, Fiona, Deborah, Vanessa, Amanda, Rachel, Lynn, Kelly. Stop, that's my mum's name. Which one? Lynn. Lynn.

Yay! How do you do this? How do you do this, Vaughan Smith? Lynn. Has this made your day better, Vaughan? Well, a little bit. Is she Lynn or is she a Linda? Lynette or a... She's a Lynn Linda? Or a Lynette?

She's a Lynn, but technically a Lynette. Technically. That was more of a Lynn I was thinking of rather than a Linda. I thought if I was going Lindas don't shorten to Lynn too often, do they? My mum comes from a... Bonus round! While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Yeah, we've triggered, Hayley, the bonus round here. That gave me a fright.

Yeah, it was just triggered. Tessa, Vaughn has one guess at your dad's name. Only one guess. So you've won $100. That is locked in. Oh, wow. If you can guess dad's name, it's another $100. Come on.

Lynn, Lynette, Anne. Do you guys know any Lynnes? Did your mum have any friends called Lynn? Well, my mum has a sister, Lynette and... Do you guys know any Lynnes? Did your mum have any friends called Lynn? Well, my mum comes from... My mum has a sister, Lynette. My mum comes from a Lorraine, Lynette... Who's Lynette married to? Lynette, no one.

Oh, okay. Yeah. She's solo. Yeah, she is solo. Loretta, Lorraine, Lynette and Patsy. Oh, okay. So on Desperate Housewives, there was a Lynette and Tom. Oh, yes, Tom.

Lynette played by, what's her name? Thingy, Thingy, Thingy. Huffman. The one in prison? Yeah. Felicity Huffman. Felicity Huffman. Well, she's in prison, so it's not Tom.

I'm not putting Tom. You're not putting Tom. You're not going with Tom. Lynne's ruined it. Lynne's not in prison. Lynne of Tawa. Lynne of Tawa. Who was she married to? I'm sure. It. You're not putting Tom. You're not going with Tom. Lynn's ruined it. Lynn's not in prison. Lynn. Lynn of Tarwa. Lynn of Tarwa. Who was she married to?

I'm sure. It'd be like a Murray. Yeah. Mother. Murray. I've got Graham written down, but that was only because I knew a Lynn and a Graham. Okay.

Well, you've got to settle on one Vaughan Smith. It's got to be a classic Kiwi name, I reckon. Bruce. Or like a manly name. Yeah. Like a Kev. Yeah, Kev-y. Kev?

Kev? Kev? No. Don't look at me. It's close. Linen. Kev. You're going to go lock in Kevin? Lock in Kevin. Tessa, what's your dad's name? It's Keith. No!

Keith's right next door to Kevin. So close. That is so close. Wow. Hey, well, Tessa. Oh, yeah. Yeah, good bugger. Keith's a good bugger, though. Yeah, now Vaughan's day has just been ruined. No, no. It's good. Hey, congratulations, Tessa. $100.

Thank you. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I have recently moved house. If you've been keeping up with that journey, I talk about nothing else. But I've made a recent discovery that's really disappointing because I've been liking it.

You know when you move into a new place, you're like, I don't know. It doesn't feel like mine. You didn't test the shower. Drippy shower. Or water pressure. No, good water pressure. Good to know.

Did you test that before you moved in? Yeah, always do because I've lived in two flats with like water. And I'll never do it again. There's nothing worse. Oh my God. It makes a terrible start to the day. No, it is bathroom related though. So this house has a separate toilet, which I'm not used to.

And the toilet, it's beside the bathroom, and you sort of tuck down a little hallway, and it's sort of tucked to the right, facing into the spare room. Okay. And the spare room is one whole wall is windows. Oh, yeah. Which means, and those windows look into my neighbour's property.

Okay. Which means I can no longer pee with the door open. But what about if you shut the spare room door? Oh my God. But that's not the same because you're technically enclosed then. Yeah, and I do want to point out as well, I've got one kidney. So when I need to pee, I'm always busting. You're like, yeah. Like, I'm like, I've got a second's notice before I need to be on that low.

So I'm not going to be closing. Is that what happens when you have one kidney? How does that work? Because that kidney's doing all the work processing it, but then it gets stored in the bladder. So you teamed up one kidney, small bladder. I think that I have a weak bladder and I've always just blamed the kidney operation.

Right. I'm actually, yeah, anyway. Right. I'm a weir. I weir frequently. But yeah, I'm really disappointed. I mean, for context, me and Aaron have been together for 10 years, nine of which we've lived alone.

That door has not been closed for a long time. Other than Tuesdays. Yeah, we're not there yet. Have some respect. Keep the romance alive. But onesies, I haven't shut the door for a onesie in nine years. And so... So the way I discovered this...

Is that what you're going to ask? Yes. Well, I was sitting there doing my onesies, as I should. Door open is my God-given right to have it that open. And it looks into their backyard, so it doesn't look into their house. Right. And I've said it to Aaron as well, because they all just go in and I'm like, Aaron, shut the door.

And then he was like, oh, don't worry, it only looks into their garage. Right. And, yeah, turns out they use their garage. Because I was sitting in the low and I was having a nice time. And then I looked through and I could just see through the garage little window, you know, which is always a bit dirty, a little pair of beady eyes from my new neighbour. I'm not putting it on him. I'm there. I'm the one peeing, looking at him.

He might have been looking through the dirty window and been like, is there someone peeing? Yeah. And then at the same time you're looking, but ah, someone's watching me pee. Is there someone watching me?

Yeah. And then you went, whose fault is that? It's yours. That's my fault. Because you should be shutting the windows or the door.

But no one does that. Do you pee with the door closed? Well, no. No, no. Because I live alone, so no. If I'm just, oh, I don't shut it,

but I'll give it like a foot flick behind me. Oh, right. So that it might be like a jar. I think you'd call it a jar. But I'll give it Like a foot flick Behind me Oh right So that it might be Like a jar I think you call it A jar But I've also got kids

So most of the time When I go to the toilet I sit down Even if I don't need to And I lock the door And I take Five minutes Ten minutes

Yeah yeah No well I never do I'm not going to Interrupt a conversation Just because I need to wee Just get the window tinted Reflective so you can't see in But you can see out

So then you've got the power You're paying watching other people. Yeah, it's a lot of admin. I'm just going to close the door. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. This is going to blow your mind for multiple reasons because when I read this headline, I was like, what? They don't do that, do they? So, did you know that in Australia, there are crocodile farms? They farm crocodiles. They farm crocodiles.

Did you guys see that video That was doing the rounds Over the weekend Of the guy that went camping I don't know where And he opened up his tent And it was surrounded By a crocodile

What? And then he like It was at night And he put his torch out His iPhone or whatever And you could see Beady eyes All around

And I was like I never want to go camping Ever again I wouldn't have crocodiles either I know but Even it was enough To put me off There was a beady eyes all around. And I was like, I never want to go camping ever again. I wouldn't have crocodiles either. I know, but even it was enough to put me off. There was a, well, because they made a go. Don't they make like, like a half hiss, half growl? I don't want them anywhere near me.

Tell you what scared the hell out of me. I heard an alpaca in the night the other night. It sounded like predator. I really want one. Horrible. Yeah, you know. Don't they Predator. I really want one. Horrible. Yeah, you know, they're terrifying. Didn't they scream? Yeah, they scream and they gargle and they sound like a kid being smacked in.

That was like a seagull, like a high-flying seagull. I'm not good at animal noises. So there's, what are you, are you looking for the photo of the guy that was surrounded by crocodiles? I'm trying to find the video, yeah. So they farm crocodiles in Australia for... Meat. Handbags. Leather.

Shoes. Really? Handbags, crocodile leather. I did not know this was a done thing. I've got a crocodile leather wallet, but it's not crocodile leather. It's faux. It's cow leather made to look crocodile. Made to look crocodile-y.

I just wanted to point that out. I'm not even lying. So it is leather. Yeah. You are carting your money around in animal'm not even lying. So it is leather. Yeah. You are carting your money around in animal skin, but just not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a dangerous predator animal skin, more of a cute one. Yeah, yeah.

Gotcha. So you're still cancelled. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that happened a long time ago. So at the end of last year, there's going to be a new crocodile farm that is part owned by some dude called Mick Burns who's bigger than Australian crocodiles but completely the different resident of Steve Irwin Crocodile Hunter.

R.O.P. May rest in peace. We lost a great soul that day in 2006. And he's teamed up with Hermes. I don't know if that's how it's said. Hermes or Hermes? That one. H-E-R-M-E with a thingy over the top and an S. Like the most expensive handbag

you can buy. Yeah. So a melon and banana farm came up for sale for $7.25 million and they have purchased it and they propose to farm 50,000 saltwater crocodiles there. That is ridiculous. How will they feed

them? Oh yeah. Because that's the thing, when Steve used to go looking for crocodiles he'd catch them every now and then and spread them out. So they didn't fight each other because then they'd kill each other because they traditionally only had so many in an area and as soon as it got

overpopulated and there wasn't enough fish for them to eat, they'd move on to the next area. But then when man got involved and started fishing, they'd be crowded. So I don't know how they're going to feed 50,000 saltwater crocodiles. I don't think they're really interested in taking great care of them.

And as of right now, the Northern Territory crocodile farms are mostly controlled by Hermes and Louis Vuitton. And they favour a large Australian saltwater crock because its skin makes a better handbag. Well, you pay good money for them. The Birkin.

You know the Birkin? The Hermes Birkin is like the most expensive. Like Kim Kardashian has thousands of them. There's a lot of controversy when Kanye West bought Kim one and they had North paint on it. Like I got you a custom one and North paint on it. It looked like absolute trash and it was like tens and tens of thousands of dollars.

Wow. Well, with 50,000 crocodiles in there and handbags ranging between $20,000 to $30,000. There's money in crocodile farming. There's money in their swamps and it's in the form of crocodiles. So today's fact of the day is the fact that they even farm crocodiles for handbags, but the largest amount of Northern Territory crocodile farms are owned and controlled by Hermes and Louis Vuitton.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I've got a pair of shoes for you guys Adidas has done a collaboration with an Estonian rapper named Tommy Cash Do you know when I come to school when I come to work when I come to school with when I come to work, Scott and Arise at school.

When I come to school. When I come to school with my school bag, because I do have my school bag. You do have a school bag. When I come to work, I always pass people lining up outside Foot Locker or some of the- Platypus. Yep. And they are, you know, I get to, I'm leaving work just before five,

five o'clock in the morning, and they're lined up in deck chairs and they're waiting for the latest shoes to come out. Wow. So they can buy them. And then they don't wear them. I don't, and they're lined up in deck chairs, and they're waiting for the latest shoes to come out. Wow. So they can buy them. And they don't wear them. I don't know if they're going to wear these ones. Right. Okay, so this artist, Tommy Cash, when he was asked by Adidas to do a collab, he said,

I want to make the longest shoe in the world. And they were like, okay. And so there's this shoe that is like, there's the normal length of the shoe and then it carries on to about the length of maybe five pairs to the toe. Oh my God, I just Googled it. Can you see it?

It's a metre long, it's three subways. Wow. And it laces the whole way down. Laces the whole way down. Imagine that. It looks like, what's the classic Adidas? Yeah, the classic Adidas shoe with the stripe on the side and the, you know. The shell toe.

The retro, yeah. Yeah, but look, they've got this. They do have this stripe, but it's in the middle of this metre long shoe. It looks like what Sideshow Bob wore on The Simpsons. So people are like, who are these for? I mean, what's the biggest shoe size available easily in stores? Like 13, 14? Yeah, like I'm a 12 and that gets, sometimes there's no 12s.

Yeah, Aaron's a 13. But these... The problem when you're like anything bigger than like an 11, 12, 13 is all the shoes that are on display are always nines or eights. Yeah, displayed. Nines is sample size, right? Yeah, sample size. And so the shoe always looks so good in proportion.

And then even a 12, I'll put it on, it just looks like a clown shoe. Yeah, I'm the same. I've got size 10 feet, which for a woman is like, but almost the end of what you can buy in like a straight up shoe store. Yeah. And I'm always the same, like Doc Martens, I've got like five pairs

and I'm always like Docs are so cool and then I put them on and I'm like what are these big clown boots? I know I'm the same Doc Martens just look so massive on me. I'm just like no. Like I've got a pair that I've worn like twice because they just look so huge. So they're trying to work out whether or not this is just

a piece of art or if they're going to be on sale. But, like, I wouldn't be surprised if people line up to get these as collector's items. They're dumb. You're going to need such a long shelf to keep them on. This is ridiculous. I'm reading actual Tommy Cash World's Instagram. He posted them on Instagram.

People are like, what are you doing? Is this for keeping your baguette warm? Yes. Somebody said, are these for your arms? Yeah, cook a big gingerbread and put it in the giant long shoe. I wonder what shoe size it would be. It would be like a 200, surely. Well, what's the...

If it goes up in twos, the conversions. If it goes up in twos, you're like a 14 and then like a 16, 18. It'd have to be at least 100. A size 100 US. A size 100. Imagine the length of the toes. Here's a question. Is there anybody listening now that has this problem

where they can't find shoes their size or have to get special shoes? Because if you're above like a 12, 13, you're going to find it hard, right? Yeah, totally. You have to order them online from the US where they make custom shoes for the big boys. Because would you have to ever resort to, like, guy unisex kind of shoes? I don't have to, no.

There's always a 10 in store. But I sometimes, it's the best of both worlds because I'm like an eight men's or like a seven and a half to an eight men's. So I can go and buy cool men's shoes as well, which some petite-f fitted women can't do. So, huh. So, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

What about like heels? What about like heels? I don't wear heels. Right. I'm six foot tall. I don't need that. Yeah, that's true. Life's too short for tall, for heels.

So if you were going to a glitzy awards night, would you just wear some cumps? Some comfortable, sensible, flat heels. wear some cumps? Some comfortable, sensible flat... You mean cumps in the brand? Yes. I would wear like a wedge or like a platform type thing, but I would never wear a stiletto. While we have been conversing about

giant shoe sizes, Vaughan has been doing some mathematics. Do you want to hear the formula for working out a shoe size conversion from centimetres to US men's? Oh, yes. So, you take your foot length plus 1.5 centimetres. Now that's in brackets. So you've got to do that part of the equation first

from bed mass from what I remember from school. I remember how brackets work. So you've got to do that part. Divide that by 2.54 times by 3 minus 24. Who comes up with these equations? Somebody worked it out from how it works from what it is at the moment. So how big would these...

Okay, so there are 100 centimetres. Is that right? Because it's in a metre, right? So 100 plus 1.5 equals 101.5 divided by 2.54. This is why that maths radio station didn't take off. 39. Damn, I listened every day.

I listened 24. That would be a size 95. Oh, you were so close. I was so close. A size 100 US. Yeah. So let's take some calls. 0800 DARS at M9696.

Do you have trouble finding shoes that fit? Yeah. Like how big are you? Big old feet. In women's sizes or men's sizes. So Adidas have released a collector's shoe. It's US size 95. So it's not to be worn.

They're basically like, you probably walk on water with these, actually. You could maybe use them in a circus. You could totally water ski. If they were stiff enough. Maybe flip it in the water, eh? Oh, yeah. We want to know if you have trouble with shoes because you have big feet. Lucy, good morning.

Good morning. Now, you have this problem. Or is it your auntie? No, my auntie. She has men's size 14 shoes. So that's like a woman's 16. Yeah, I don't think they even do a woman's size that big. So she just goes to Vietnam,

gets some shoes made every few years. So she'll be struggling at the moment. Oh, God. Oh, my God. You'd be stuck with the borders shut. Wow. Okay, and so she would, when you say she gets custom shoes, she wouldn't be able to get, like, high heels and stuff because... Yeah, I don't

know. I know she used to work at a preschool. She wanted, like, big Crocs, but I'm not sure if the she used to work at a preschool. She wanted like big crocs but I'm not sure if it was the heels what she does with that. She's tall enough that she doesn't really need her heels. She could almost fit

that display croc. You know the one that's like a metre long? I was going to say, I was going to ask how tall is she because they often go hand in hand. Yeah, I think she's about 6'6".

Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Wow, that's tall. I'm just looking at the largest size croc. You can go big and tall men's crocs if she's okay. There's some tie-dye crocs there. They come in a hole. Tie-dye's in at the moment.

Are they covered? It comes in a hole. Yeah, they are covered. Look, I'll send you this link. This seems like you shouldn't be missing out. Well, that's... Well, Auntie shouldn't be missing out. Yeah, brilliant.

All right, hey, thanks you, Cool Lucy. We're talking big feet. How big are they? How big can they get? After Adidas released a size 95, we worked out shoe. Yeah, that's 95 US. Far out. Yeah.

And a lot of people had the struggle that a lot of people wouldn't relate to of being able to get shoes. Yeah, I'm in the lucky place of I can still get women's shoes just as a size 10, but I can also wear the boys' shoes if I like them. Right. Chris, good morning. Good morning.

Now, is this your brother? Yes, it's my older brother. Okay. And is he rocking some giant feet? Well, he is. Well, he is. He actually, so he has a club foot, and so he has one size 15 and one size 9. So, yeah, so he always has to buy two pairs of shoes.

And what does he do with the spare shoe? Just chuck them out? Yeah, just chuck them out, yeah. So is that because the foot that that size 9 was the clubfoot and it didn't develop as much yeah so the bones and stuff didn't develop but yeah so it's hard enough to find a size 15 for that one foot but then he always has to buy a second shoe sometimes i think it was either adidas or rebox does custom shoes, but it's expensive to buy. Yeah.

But does he ever just, like, do two 15s and then, like, stuff one of the 15s? But then that would, it would, your foot's not in it, so it would be uncomfortable, wouldn't it? No, yeah, no, he always buys two pairs, unfortunately, yeah. And you can't do anything with the other shoe. And then, depending, he should find, he should team up with some people. I was going to say this.

It should be like an online sort of Tinder type thing where you put in people who have different sized feet and you can pair up with someone and be like, I need your 15 right. Yeah. You have my 15 left. And I need your nine left. Unless they were into those people that buy purple shoes or something.

Oh, I mean, yeah. Yeah. But, Chris, thank you so much for sharing. Chanel, good morning. Good morning. This is your son. Yes. Now, how old is your son?

He's 16. And how old? He's going to be 16 soon. And are you buying shoes every six months? No, thankfully. Okay, but how big are they? So he's in size US 18s at the moment.

Oh, Jesus! That's a lot of weight bags for breakfast. Very much so. Is he tall? Very tall. Yeah, I think he's about 6'2", 6'3", maybe? Wow, and where do you even get size US 18 shoes online? I used to travel.

Used to. Yep, yep. So I'd stock up then. And like the last time I went overseas before COVID, two pairs of shoes, they weighed six kilos. Oh, my God. Yeah. So what you're telling me is it is worth taking my shoes off

if I'm about to weigh myself at the gym. Very much so. I'm pretty lucky. My uncle sends us shoes for him at the moment. Oh, good old uncle. Oh, nice. Okay. And is it quite a limit of what shoes you can buy? Like you're quite restricted to only a few styles?

Very. Yeah, that would suck too. It'd be hardier if you're going to a wedding or a fancy event and you need to quickly get a pair of flash shoes, wouldn't it? Oh, we don't even have flash shoes. He's got twing sneakers, that's about it. Wow. That's a big flip.

That's crazy. Brilliant. Chanel, thanks for messaging in. Some text messages. Somebody said, my brother is Dave the Titan. Super heavyweight, king of the ring, champion, 2018. Now, I've looked up Dave. And Vaughn said, I could take him on.

I absolutely did not. I didn't say that. He did. Don't go picking a fight, Vaughn. You will not win. Dave's 206 centimeters tall. Oh, wow. Yeah. And he could probably crushres tall. Oh, wow. Yeah. And

he could probably crush my face. Yeah, probably. Like a marshmallow. But he's 6'9", and the only shoes he can wear, or he can get for fights, he has to wear Chuck Taylors. Because he can get them in his size, otherwise

he has to squash his feet into a size 14 skinny boxing shoe, which he's done before. That's old school, isn't it? It's like when people used to play basketball in Chuck Taylors. You think about the lack of support there. No, I mean, I love a Chuck Taylor, but it's not a sports shoe. Yeah, and Dave's of Tongan descent.

And my old flatmate Sam, who was also Tongan, said that just running around in your feet. And I'm the same. I've got a really wide foot because I ran around my bare feet my whole life. Oh, yeah. I come from a wide footed clan of ducks. And we've got a wide foot. The Chuck Taylor doesn't really suit. No.

Doesn't really suit. So he's going to squeeze his foot in there. Someone said, I'm a woman size 11. I'm a woman, but I wear size 11 men's shoes. And when they asked me my name to put into the computer, my last name's Foot, and they always laugh. Should we finish up by asking producer Jarrod how big his feet are? I'm a size 7.

Aw, Bubba. I've got bigger feet than you. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Can you still buy shoes from the kids section? I haven't tried, but probably. Sometimes I see kids' shoes and I'm like, damn, those are cool shoes. They're not making Spider-Man shoes for adults.

And if they do, they're trying to make it like discreetly Spider-Man. I want Spider-Man on my shoes. Well, Mountie, you'll be able to buy in the kids' section. Yes, and I do, and I have. What size are your feet? I'm a women's five, and my Nike running shoes were from the kids section. Yes. Are they cheaper?

Oh, 100 feet. So much cheaper. Yes, that's good. Yeah, I'm a little bit envious of that. That's why I'm excited for kids to get way fatter, this obesity epidemic, because I'm hoping size US 12 shoes will become cheaper because they'll technically be kids' shoes. Oh, yeah.

Well, there you go. That's a positive. Yeah, your feet spread. Maybe it's T-shirts. Maybe you go. That's a positive. Yeah, your feet spread. It's like a pregnancy. Your feet spread. I'm excited about this obesity epidemic. I didn't know if I'd hear that this morning. Do I?

I've got a couple of positives about this obesity epidemic that everybody's talking about. It's going to make kids' T-shirts adult size. It's going to be great. Somebody said, I've got a, morning, guys, I've got a pair of Ronald McDonald's antique shoes from the old

Ronald McDonald days of Ronald popping around to the different Maccas there. 300 bucks. Now, I don't know if that's trying to sell it to us

for 300 bucks or they bought them for 300 bucks. Either way, it sounds like an absolute deal. And you can't say this people with big feet. Why aren't you just

buying circus shoes? Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan on the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give Zed Eames Or why aren't you just buying circus shoes?