ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th May 2021

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

Christchurch Recycling Bins  How to get a Payrise  Producer Jared got Mail  Don't get Fletch Started!!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Morn and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Guys, I just saw this before we started recording this. Just a second ago, Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing. Oh, for fuck's sake! No! She is going to be so rich.

But she's as much as, if not more of, a philanthropist than he. Oh, really? I don't know much about her. The Melinda Gates Foundation that she started, aside from what they've done together to eradicate malaria and stuff, she's all about giving away the wealth. You're not even halfway through microchipping the world. I know. 27 years of marriage.

Oh. That doesn't exist. How much is she gonna get from this? Billions. Cause um what is it? Jeff Bezos' wife Yeah. Richest woman in the world. Richest woman in the world. She gave away a bunch

Yeah she did. She's given away so much Gave away a bunch. Another good woman doing some good stuff there. Yeah. Um Oh that's sad to see. That's sad to hear. Isn't it The rich people You know they're rich In finances aren't they

But they're not rich in love No they're not Money can't buy happiness Do you reckon he Would just still like Be like What did you buy that for Probably

Did you fucking need that You've got clothes In the wardrobe Why do you keep Buying more I don't have anything Appropriate to wear You've hardly worn Anything in that wardrobe There's do you keep buying more? I don't have anything appropriate to wear. You've hardly worn anything

in that wardrobe. There's thousands of items and you're back at DayCuber again. Leave me alone. Do you need it? I'm wearing the same pair of jeans I've been wearing since I released Windows NT. Yeah. Do they have kids? Yes, they did because he said he wasn't leaving

his kids. Fuck all. Oh, yeah, right. I like when really rich 1% each, but 1% was the law. Yeah, I like when really rich people do that. It's like a big fuck you, isn't it? Yeah. He'd be one of the only dads that if they went home for the Christmas holidays, they wouldn't have to deal with technology questions. Oh, yeah, true.

Unless they rocked an apple. And they might have a couple of questions. It would be a terrible life for his kids, not being able to have an Apple iPhone their whole life have a couple of questions. It would be terrible life for his kids, not being able to have an Apple iPhone their whole life. What a terrible life. It sounds like real poverty, doesn't it? Yeah, man. I can't imagine.

Terrible life. Oh, well, RIP them. Oh, that's sad to hear, isn't it? But, you know, maybe they can remain, what do you call it? Cordial. Cordial. Cordial. Not cordial. Cordial. Not cordial.

Cordial is the... Cordial is... Maybe they can remain rara. You know, that's all we can really hope for. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleet, Sean and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Happy Star Wars Day.

May the 4th, baby. May the 4th be with you. And also with you. Lift up your 4th. Lift them up to the Lord. Forever and ever. Praise the Lord. That's some Catholic.

May the 4th be with you. Catholic PTSD there. I remember the first time I went to a Catholic ceremony. I had no idea what was going on. So much talking and engaging with each other. Oh, I've only ever been

to a Catholic church. I don't know what the other ones do. I grew up an absolute heathen. Oh, right. And then my friend who comes from a Catholic Lebanese family had a death in the family

and I went to the funeral and everyone was just chatting to me the whole time. Saying all these phrases and you couldn't I didn't know there were Catholic cucumbers. I mean, I'm all for

inclusivity in the church. That's a good dad joke. That's good. That's good. I like that. I like that because I know that there's a cucumber that's a Lebanese cucumber.

Oh, yeah. I was going to say, I didn't know the Catholics were letting in the woman that did that to other women. But then I was like, that's lesbian. That's...

Izzy. Nah. Right. Coming up on the show today, your chance to win again with Add to Cart at 8 o'clock. And today, Vaughn, it's all items that you've picked. Is it? It is, yeah. Get ready for some sheep materials and some outdoor wear.

Had I known that they were going to be released, I definitely would have put some pink bands in there. This is Scalarup Red Bands. I've done some pink band gumboots to raise money for breast cancer in the month of May. That's fantastic. Had I known that I put this list together before that happened. Yeah, right. But you can buy them

and support. Yeah, they're awesome. They're awesome too. They look good on the farmlet. sure you're on the farm let. Yeah, I know. They'll look great on the farm let. But I've got to do that thing where you wear them in because no one wants to wear

the shiny red Vans. You want to look like you've had them for a year already. I thought you meant wear them in like you're wearing a pair of leather shoes. And I was like, I don't think they change.

Oh, I know they do. They do change, but I was just thinking you've just got to grub them up. You've got to dirty them up. Yeah, because you don't want to look like a city slicker nah

oh how embarrassing alright so add to cart 8 o'clock this morning we'll add the first item coming up on the show the top 6 yeah

there's Patrick Gower tattoos guys just to let everybody know one of them's got a spelling mistake in it but it's the famous

he never actually said it on the news and I think there's that, it's like thingy's eye popping out. That didn't happen on telly. No. That was an outtake. Yeah. From the Son of a Gun show.

And Patrick Gower did something for the University of Auckland Law Review where he said, I am the news or it's the effing news. He said, the student's like, shut up, this is a library. And he said, you shut up, this is the effing news. Yeah. And it became sort of folklore, but it was never on the telly. No. Some people think it might have been.

That has made it into tattoo law. Yeah, somebody's got this on their body. So I've got the top six other news broadcasters this fine nation has produced that could be tattoos upon your body. All right, it's soon in the top six. Next, though. I've got the information we all want to know at this hour of the morning. How long does the average sexy session last? I've got the stats.

I'm going to say two minutes. Wow. We need to talk. Average, though. That's good. It means some people are getting longer. Exactly. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Let's get sexy. All right, we're going to talk sexiness. It means some people are getting longer. Exactly.

Let's get sexy. All right, we're going to talk sexiness. Yep. What makes you uncomfortable? You need to spend some time with yourself. Some research has been done looking at the average time that couples spend having sexuals. Sexy times. Having sexy times.

What would your guess be? Are we saying each time or hours spent per week or how we work in this app? Per session from the minute it's in to the moment. So no foreplay. No, they don't

count that. Oh God, it's where you spend most of your time. So from the moment it am I right? Fletch. Yep. To the moment it it's out. Let's it's. Yep. Yep. Yep. We get that. Let's it's stuff out. Right. Do we look into different couples, same sex couples?

I'm just trying to, I was actually just trying to find that out. I believe it's a mixture of same sex and Lesbians are dragging us up. I believe it's a mixture of same-sex and... Lesbians are dragging us up. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, you reckon they're okay? Well, the only reason I'm wondering about same-sex female couples

is that they're literally... So this is how they did this, is that they got 500 couples to be part of this study. Okay. And they had to have sex over a period of time. Okay. And record it with a stopwatch. Man, that's sexy stuff.

From the moment it was in. That is sexy stuff. Yeah. So I'm just wondering, because they're saying from the moment. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say it. But yeah. And you know what I mean? Yeah. And the moment. Jack, yeah, yeah. Don't say it. You know what I mean? And then the moment... So I'm going to say I think this is just for male-female couples.

Right, okay. So look, it's not an accurate representation, but so they had to do it. With a stopwatch. With a stopwatch. And then I imagine what they have a clipboard or a notebook. And they had to log it. Yeah.

What if it's a false start? I'm prone to a false start like in swimming sports and stuff. I always dived in before the clapper went. Right. So can we race? Can we go again? If you want, I guess, yeah. Yeah, you could.

So you want a stopwatch? Start again. Get back to the start line and hit the button again. But I don't need 20 minutes. I don't know. Right. So the most striking detail of the results is that the variation is huge. Right.

So from all those 500 couples across the time that they were recording all this, it ranged from 33 seconds, which is fine. Also, if it was 33 seconds, you're pausing five seconds to stop the stopwatch, just to add a bit on. And also, that's a huge compliment. Oh, get out. That is a massive compliment. You are so hot.

Can I also note that this study is from the moment, it ends at the moment of male Jaqueline Lachan. As every good session should. I might say it in a French accent and it doesn't count. So, 33 seconds was the

shortest time recorded. 44 minutes was the longest. Yeah, that's an 80 miles. shortest time recorded. Okay. 44 minutes. Oh my Lord. Was the longest. Yeah, ow. That's an 80-pounder. We're getting some ows, some behind-the-scenes ows.

Absolutely, not on. Neither of those are on. But the average time that they found was 5.4 minutes. Okay. Hmm. So if you were to line up all the shortest to the longest times,

boom, 5.4 minutes was the average amount of time. Again, that 40-odd minutes really drags it up. Yeah, and they said it didn't matter, lots of secondary results, didn't matter if a condom was being used or if the man had had a... You don't need to go into it. A trim or not. Yep. But the only thing that affected the results

was if the man came from Turkey. A bigger pin. A bigger pin. He came from Turkey? So if the gentleman in the couple was Turkish, it was shorter. It was only 500. I don't know.

No other country had any. Hummus. That's the trick. Too much hummus. Too much hummus. Not enough hummus. So you go five minutes, four seconds.

Wait, was he the last thing longer or shorter? Shorter. Oh, right. Too much hummus. Too much hummus to find balance finding that golden long zone of hummus. How successfully did I stumble my way through this?

Well, we'll find out when the BSA opens this morning. At approximately 8.30. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Christchurch residents, watch out if you've got a yellow recycle bin because the City Council has confiscated, in the past nine months, 664 recycle bins. Because people have had warnings.

They've had three warnings about, I guess, not putting the right stuff in the recycle bin. Gotcha, gotcha. I'm very vigilant. And that's led to them having, because if a truck that picks up all the recycling, if it gets too contaminated, they have to dump it. They have to dump it in landfill.

I remember learning about this actually from a friend who said, yeah, if it gets too contaminated, they just put it in your landfill, which is absolutely crazy. Do you know one that always tripped me up until I learned about it were the pizza boxes because you can't recycle those because they get the oil from the pizza, so they have to go in the bin. You just burn them.

And a lot of people put their recycle in a plastic bag and then put that in the bin. No, no, no, no. You're not allowed to put plastic bags. We've got a recycle and a rubbish and a soft plastics. And you've got to read the number. No, I don't read the number. Do you have a soft plastics?

A council provided soft plastics. No, no, no. In our own personal organisation, we've got a soft plastics, which once it's full, we take down to the supermarket and do there. Because so many people are still putting soft plastics in there. What's a soft, like plastic bags? Cling wrap, you know, the plastic on top of a meat pack, bags. Oh, yep, yep.

In the supermarket, take those. That's malleable. Yeah, so soft plastics can't be recycled with your glass and your hard plastics. So you're like, oh, no. Well, it's good you know now. I know now. And do you rinse?

You have to rinse. I always rinse. Yeah, it's good you know now. I know now. And do you rinse? You have to rinse. You have to rinse. You're recycling. You've got to clean your recycling out. Because, you know, at the end of that, there's a human who has to sort that. I know. I know. Don't put your chicken breast tray in there unrinsed with that pad.

Yeah. The pad goes in the bin. Not recycled. I've accidentally fried one of those pads before. Oh, yes. Same. That's why you've always got to flip your mints upside down to make sure there's not one in the bottom.

Don't just shake and slide out of the tray. I've done both of those. Fried the chicken pad and done the mints the wrong way. Yeah. Browned it and then gone like that and it's the papers all through it. Burnt all through on the pan. Yeah, that's nasty. The paper's not as bad as the pad, though.

The pad. The absorb-y pad that's full of the raw chicken juice. The pad is man-canned. Flesh for an Amigan. The podcast. ZM. From the hard-to-find ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Buenos dias.

Buenos dias. Buenos dios. Buenos dias. Buenos dias. Buenos dias. Amigos. Patrick Gower, the famous Patrick Gower situation where this is the effing news, has been immortalised in not one but two tattoos, according to a news article I read.

One's got... One doesn't... What's happening there? What are you doing? Nothing. It's got chained. Oh, you've got it tied up in, you got tied up in your headphone cord. The Auckland Law Review, it's there for news.

Yeah. He's got, yeah, two tattoos. People need to stop and grow up. Stop it. Aren't tattoos supposed to be something that's sort of significant to you? Yeah. Something that you really want to remember for the rest of your life? I mean, they also don't have to be.

They can be a little butterfly or whatever. Yeah. Well, you got the Playboy Bunny logo and that little bit. What did that mean to you? She had aims and goals in life.

Hopes and dreams. And it was to have sex with Hugh Hefner and live in the mansion. And live in the mansion and get the bunnies. Get the bunny tail. Get the ears.

Get the ears and the bunny tail. How'd that work out for you? Pretty good, actually. I was there. Right, okay. You're good. She was what killed him. That was his last drink.

Sayonara, Hugh. So I've got the top six newsreaders that also deserve a tattoo. Okay. So it shouldn't just be Patrick. Yeah. He is good, though. He is good. He is good. He's a good man. Number six, it shouldn't just be Patrick. Yeah. He is good though. He is good. He is good.

He's a good man. Number six, Trudy Bailey and Richard Long duo. That's a retro one. Yeah. To the 1990s. One news team. Richard Long, the moustache days. I don't want to see the... He left the news, he shaved the moustache,

and then he supported that finance company that went tits up in 2008. Well, yeah, he was kind of dragged into that, wasn't he? Yeah, he was. Unfortunately. Judy Bailey, mother of the nation? Mother of the nation, Judy Bailey. Still pops up every year. Isn't she peddling fridges at the moment?

Is she? Yeah, she's on an ad for fridges. I'm sure it's her. Is she? I'm sure it's her. She's like, look at the kids. The grandkids love it. Oh, that rings a bell. Yeah. Oh, it's the. Is she? I'm sure it's her. She's like, look at the kids. The grandkids love it. She's got a mortgage. Oh, that rings a bell. Yeah. Oh, it's the family hub. Yeah, and the fridge has got a TV in it.

When we renovated, I wanted one of those fridges, but Shado's like, you don't need a TV there as well? And I was like, well, that's an attack. Oh, is that one of those iPad ones with a big screen? Yeah, and you can be out. It's like a Samsung fridge. You can be out, and you can open an app, and you can see inside your fridge to see what you need.

I know. It's crazy. Why wouldn't you show us pooping on the... And sometimes it automatically can make you a shopping list. Yeah. From what it sees. Yeah, right. If it's got a camera in there, you can just put the kids in as a babysitter.

Oh, you could too. We're just chucking out for 10. Yeah. Put them in a Huffapuffa. Yeah. And away they go. They'll be fine. They'll be absolutely fine.

Number five on the list of the top six newsreaders that deserve a tattoo. It was the mid-2000s. And reading the midday news on Channel 3 was Darren McDonald. Now, that name might not ring a bell to you. Do you remember this story, Hayley? Kids, gather round. It turned out that Darren McDonald was reading the news for years high on pingas. Well, not all the time, but he had done some news bulletins on pingas.

Was he? Yeah. It was sad. He had a drug problem. But then when it came out, everyone was like, how did you do that? He was a very astute and professional newsreader. And it turned out that he'd done it on drugs. I wonder where he is now.

Wow. I always remember that happening. Yeah. Probably Ibiza. Crazy. It was wild. I was readingiza news. That's all Ibiza does. Everything has to be dance music. News.

Number four on the list of the top six newsreaders that do deserve a tattoo. Ever flicked on the TV for The Chase but somebody's been watching Prime and you've caught the 5.30 news on Prime with Eric Young? Eric Young. Well, it is that servitude to the 5.30 news slot that means Eric Young is number four on the list of newsreaders that deserve to be tattooed on your body. And he's been at it for so long. So long.

He's been around forever. Do you know they just read the same news as TV3? TV3? Yeah. Later on? Yeah. It's exact word for word. Yeah.

And they have the same clips and everything. Who does it better? You could put them up against... Darren McDonald's Wikipedia's gone cold. It goes dark? It goes cold when he left TV3, yeah. Oh, bugger. It did say, though, he left his job in Australia.

He worked at National 9 News. His involvement with the Network 10 show saw the end of his Australian television career after a segment saw him simulate masturbation. He sounds like a hoot, eh? So he went to Aussie after New Zealand? He might have, but no, he came to New Zealand after Aussie. Oh dear.

I'd love to know where he is now. He simulated masturbation on the news? At what point of the broadcast do you fit that in? Unsure. Was it like in reference to somebody? Like, you know, like it came back

and it was like... That guy's a tosser sort of thing. He wasn't like... Yeah. Must have been bad if you lost it in the 2000s. Yeah, she's a loose time.

Oh, I know. Gosh, what a great guy. Next on the list, number three on the list of the top six newsreaders that deserve a tattoo, the lovely Wendy Petrie. Oh, you knowers That deserve a tattoo The lovely Wendy Petrie Oh you know

Hands down I adore Wendy Petrie She's the patron saint Of awesomeness Yep In the news broadcast If you watch Wendy This is how she sits

She has both of her hands Facing one way And then she'll finish A news broadcast And she'll shift back And she'll just move them To the other side She knows what to do with her hands.

She is bloody. She's a professional. And she's such a nice person too. She's a lovely lady. Yeah. And very curly hair. Oh, really? You wouldn't guess that.

Okay. Without the straightener up in the makeup room. But she's got lovely curly locks. What are the inside TVNZ goss there, is it? Oh, I know. We see her. Oh, you see her on the gram. She puts up photos on the gram.

She's with the kids at the row. Yep. Okay. Now, then, mum-wifing? Number two on the list of the top six newsreaders that deserve a tattoo. You could do this to celebrate his 20 years. Oh, yeah.

At TV3, Mike McRoberts. The silver fox himself. He is not aging, is he? How does he do it? He is aging, but he's better. Yeah. Like a cheese or a good wine. Or a tawny port.

He is just like a good cheese and a tawny port. Is that the Sultana juice? That's the Sultana juice we so enjoyed. He is good. Because he used to just look like a grown-up version of the chubby kid from Two and a Half Men. And then that was what I think that's what made him lose weight is when everyone started saying that. He is ripped as well.

Oh, he's ripped. Yeah, yeah. He's an absolute beast. And number one on the list of the top six newsreaders that deserve a tattoo. News, weather, Jim Hickey. Conservative Christian and airport cafe muffin server. Jim Hickey.

Loves his planes, yeah. And number one. And probably the famous line, it's not gone burgers, it's come burgers underneath. Brilliant. I'm surprised no one's had a tattoo with that. Again, that's another retro reference there, Hayley, if you don't get that.

I know who Jim Hickey is. I don't remember that line. You can still find it on YouTube. Very, very easily. I will do that immediately. That would have got a few shakes of the head down at the old church come Sunday, I bet. That is today's top six.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. How long ago was it that that snake was found in the pipe? It was a South Auckland construction. It was like a water pipe, right? Oh, it's the end of last year, wasn't it? No, it was this year. It's been since I've been here. And it just slid it out of the pipe and they were like, oh, how did that get here?

They were like, oh, we better clean out this pipe. Something's blocking it. And out came a snake. But it was dead. But it was dead. But it was dead. But it was dead. Well, it happened again.

A yellow-bellied sea snake washed up in Doubtless Bay in Northland at the weekend. Oh, God, I love Doubtless Bay. It's so beautiful. That's such a nice spot. This is the confusing part. It's classed as a native snake, but not to New Zealand, but within the waters that we would consider native. That's weird, right?

Pacific Ocean. Not native to New Zealand, not found in New Zealand, what is considered New Zealand waters, but would be native to the South Pacific. Right. But not usually down here because it's too cold for them. I was going to say

our waters are normally too cold. Yeah, they're like a... Like we all do, you know. We love the Cook Islands. We love a Fiji. We love a Samoa. Yeah. We love a Tukalau.

Yeah. We love a... A Vanuatu. Vanuatu. Yeah. A Nui. I'd be swimming over there if I was a sea snake. Sam, I wouldn't be coming to cold old New Zealand.

Yeah, well, I don't know. And it's not as cute as Finding Nemo either, so it's not going to make like a cute Pixar movie of how the snake got lost and ended up dead in a bucket. It looks quite like venomous because it is quite poisonous. It's very venomous. It's yucky. Have you ever been snorkeling or in the water and you've seen a sea snake? Yes. It's quite scary, eh?

Yeah. We were dangling our feet off a boat in Fiji once and I saw the black and white one. Like, you know, the real bad one. And I pulled my feet in. I was like, that's poisonous. And the guy was like, yeah, that's one of the most poisonous snakes in the world. I was like, cool, man. Does everyone else want to pull their feet in, please?

Oh, we've found them before. 2018 at Bailey's Beach, there was one. This yellow-bellied venomous number. Why is it? So they breed in tropical waters in the northern Tasman Sea. Right. So if you see, I mean, even if I see a snake that's a different colour, any snake, I'll give that a wide berth.

I'm so glad we don't have that. That's why when they show up here, I'm like. Well, people in Australia, they leave their Ugg boots on the front step and then they go to put their foot in and there's a bloody snake in it. Oh, I know. Yuck. Like, that's enough to put me off living in Australia. The worst we have is putting your shoes on and there's like a stick insect in there.

Or there might be a wetter. Yeah, I've had a wetter in a sandal before and it bit my toe and it was really hurt. Wow, but they're protected. Well, I stumped the shit out of it, so I'll see you in Court Department Conservation. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The Podcast. ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Sweetening her mother's day with a cheesecake shop. Yes, a Cheesecake Shop. Fawn's triggered. Save time and order your cake online this Mother's Day at the Cheesecake Shop. Now, we have up for grabs today a hotel escape for one lucky mum. Danielle, you're up against Alex.

Tell us why your mum deserves this, why she's the best. Hi, guys. My mum, I just think my mum's the absolute best. She's so amazing. She's literally the nicest person I know. She would do anything for anyone, which unfortunately

means she ends up putting herself last. Can you give us an example? I mean, look, I believe you. Hayley's proud. I'm not convinced. Can we get an example? When you say she an example? I mean, look, I believe you. Hayley Sprout, it's true. I don't, I'm not convinced. Can we get an example? When you say, you know, she'll do anything for anyone, what's an example, maybe, of a time your mum might have done that?

I'm putting you on the spot. I know, it's really hard when you start to think about it, but just an example on the daily, and I don't really hope that my brother's not listening, but she literally, I'm not going to go into detail but she has to basically

put up with my brother on a daily and look after him and it's just, it really stresses her out and I'm just like, it would be really nice to be able to give something to her. I'm kind of tearing up doing this. Hey, what's your mum's name?

Her name? Anne, she has definitely nothing to this name. Her name is Karen. Yeah, and you were going to say Karen. Yeah, whenever there's hesitation, now you're assuming it's Karen. Yeah, yeah. All right, Danielle, I'll wait there. Alex, why does your mum deserve this?

Why is she the best? I think, to be honest, me and Danielle might have the same mum. They sound really alike, actually. Aw, mums. But, yeah, me and Danielle might have the same mum. They sound really alike, actually. Aw, mums. But, yeah, my mum, she's the same. She's really selfless. She'll just do anything for anyone. Mum's a midwife.

She was originally trained as a nurse, and now she's a midwife. She's been working crazy hours the last few weeks birthing babies, and she always is the first person to cover for someone if I've got something on with the young family at work. You know, she's a mother to me and my three younger sisters who are all adults now, but if anyone at work's got young families, she'll be the first one to say that she'll cover for them.

Oh, mums. Mums, eh? Mums. She never complains about being tired or anything, but we can always be at home. My mum's always complaining about how tired she is. My mum's always like, just always so tired. Alex, wait.

Now we've got to pick one. This is hard. I want to give them to both mums. Shotgun not picking. Shotgun not picking. Vaughan, just toss a coin. Yeah, they both sound like absolute both mums. Shotgun not picking. Shotgun not picking. Vaughan, just toss a coin. Yeah, they both sound like absolute lovely mums. I don't have a coin. Do the spoon then. I'll toss a spoon.

Okay, so curvy side up. If this side comes up, it's Danielle. If this side comes up, it's Alice. Yeah, good. Okay, yeah, good. And hi-yah! Oh, that was good. That one. That one? Yeah, it was good. That one.

That one? Yeah. It was that one? Danielle, you've won it. Oh, my God. Thank you guys so much. Good old Karen. The old spoon and Karen.

The old spoon. Don't call Karen the old spoon. No, I mean, that's how we chose Karen. Thank you, Alex, for your mum's nomination there. But well done, Danielle. We have for you a hotel escape from mum, all thanks to the Cheesecake Shop. You only need to make one stop this Mother's Day, and that is the Cheesecake Shop.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A radio DJ in America. He's on a country music radio show. He does the morning show. It's a show called Mason and Remy, the Mason and Remy show. It's a show called Mason and Remy. The Mason and Remy show. Mason and Remy. Mason and Remy. Is this guy Mason and or Remy? And it's two.

Like Fletch and Vaughan. No, no, but who the guy you're about to talk about? So I'm going to talk about This Is Mason. Now a couple of weeks ago he got a tattoo of the radio station logo on his arm. No.

Yeah, W-I-L. Radio stations change logos. Well, yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. And also, many things change. Yeah. Including employment status. Yeah, I don't think he, that's where the story's going, Vaughn.

Yes. Because he got the tattoo that says 92.3 FM WILFM. And it's massive. It is massive. That's also a dumb tattoo. It looks so, and it looks so, I'm going to say it looks redneck. It's like super stars and stripes. He took to Twitter a week later after getting this tattoo just a few days ago

saying, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I just got fired. Oh, dude. Oh, no. He's laughing too. They're replacing him with someone else, but the Remy guy is still keeping his job. He didn't even get the tattoo. Remy didn't get the tattoo exactly.

Oh. Yeah, so that's quite funny. And you can't, like, looking at the tattoo, it is such, it's such a logo. You can't, like, looking at the tattoo, it is such, it's such a logo. You can't change this into anything else. You'd have to go 92.3 W-I-L, fired me. You know, you'd have to add a gag. Fired me after I got this tattoo.

Or make it like your CV and just add everywhere you've been employed to your tattoo. He's also only been at that show and that station since 2011. Sorry, 2018. Oh, right. So he's been doing it, what, three years? Yeah. Well, maybe that's three years he was into it. Three years?

Yeah. That's not long enough. Not long enough. That's not long enough at all. No. I don't think it's ever long enough. It's not a good tattoo. It's not a good, you can't do anything with it

and it doesn't even work there anymore. Yeah, and it's not like a tattoo that can be repurposed. It's hideous. Like if you got the ZM one and then you could go to like a good tattoo artist and be like, cover this up for me, man. Yeah. Yeah, or like turn it into like spasm. Yeah, anything with a zim at the end.

S-P-A-S-M or something. It's such a cool idea for a tattoo, Hayley. Yeah. Spasm. Shizm. Shazam. Shazam. Shazam, yeah.

You get the Shazam logo. Big fan of the DC movie with Zachary Levy. Sure. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. She's eating it, what are those? My kids love those and they are pretty yum. Oh, yes. Is that a plain ready salted one or is that a salt and vinegar one?

Salt and vinegar. Oh, yeah. Now we're talking. They're like peas. Pea snaps. Pea snaps in the fried. Harvest pea snaps. Harvest pea.

That's not a breakfast food. It's not a breakfast food, but I told you, I'm tired and today I'm just throwing caution to the wind. My diet starts on Monday. This week there are no rules. Alright, speaking of employment as mine is soon over. A

job expert and a psychologist have chimed in on how to negotiate a pay rise. Oh, I've got a good tip too. Do you? What is that? Okay, so somebody told me this, and I've done this for a couple of things since,

and it totally works. You need to take yourself away somewhere. Right, so say, for example, you're asking for a pay rise. Yes. Which is something Kiwis are not good at doing. We're not good at being like, this is what I'm worth. I mean, we'll have a bitch about it to everyone in the office and to our friends, but when it comes to talking to the boss

you're like oh yeah okay what's your tip? I wonder if it's similar you take yourself somewhere like a bathroom somewhere private and if it's

or your car no not your car because you need to be standing and no not playing with yourself although that's really good just to clear the mind and you know

put yourself at ease get rid of some nerves that's a fact actually you can like say that's inappropriate for me to say but that's scientifically a fact to clear the mind and, you know, put yourself at ease, get rid of some nerves. That's a fact, actually. You can say that that's inappropriate for me to say, but that's scientifically a fact. I know a lot of actors that used to do that before they go on stage. They enter with a charged energy. What? I'll save that for another day.

Okay, good. It's this. I need audio because it's this song. It's the Superman theme song. So you stand in a Superman pose Okay Like with your hands on your hips And your chest spreads Do it, do it

Stand like that And you like shut your eyes And you envisage whatever you want And it's that pose that's important And this theme tune I could use this Because you know I've been wanting to ask Ross Boss for a sparkling water fountain.

Yes. Dude, do this. You'll be straight up to Bogsy. Bogsy, CEO now. Sparkling water for the people. This feels quite good. I'll just say actually get up there and don't worry about it. It's the posture. It's like opening yourself

up and it's the power and it's like a powerful stand. You're ready to face anything. You're just basically saying free hit and then Superman theme tune. Wait, so you'll be at the end of it. What have you said before? I've done this a couple of times. Yeah, when have you used this technique?

What have you done this for? I used it recently on a visit to the police station. Oh, yes. And just when you've got to get yourself hyped up. This is going to sound weird. I think I used it before on one of my grandparents' funerals. To just like. Yeah, right.

Get myself in the... Because I'm wildly emotional at a time of loss. Yeah, yeah, sure. So you just kind of like give yourself a little bit of staying power to make it through. I like this.

I'm going to use this. Could we use this before your tip for asking for a pay rise? Yeah, my tip's a bit shorter and it's more in the moment of the negotiation. Right. So this is your pre-meeting ritual that you do.

You go to the bathroom, you stand there, listen to Superman. Put in the headphones, crank this. Which it does, it feels good, it feels powerful. I'm going to use that today. And then once you're in the negotiation, here is what this psychologist has advised you do. It's called the power of silence. Not my forte, okay. Not my forte, personally. But they suggest that taking, when you are dealing,

when you get down to the nitty gritty of the negotiation, which is usually about money or conditions perhaps, using a three to nine second pause can be very powerful. Now, three seconds, I say, they go, okay, what about a $20,000 pay rise?

$20,000? She didn't do three seconds. You didn't do three seconds. I'm out of touch with honestly how much people get paid. How about a $20,000 pay rise? That's not going to work for me. Not what I'm after. Oh, it's a power move, isn't it? Now we'll try the nine second.

Okay. Well, no, we can't because the silence alarms will go off. Turn up the Superman music a little bit. Okay. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay. Vaughn, I would like to offer you a $15,000 pay rise.

Oh. The blue light was flashing. I did the maths. No. Nine is too long. Nine is an insane amount of time to fill. Especially, what if you just held their gaze? Also, you immediately would have said yes to that much money.

Yes, please. So apparently the power of this three to nine second silence switches the employer or whoever you're talking to, switches their brain out from a default kind of, you know, like a default state of mind where they'll just be like, well, that's ridiculous. So say you've asked, I need 15K more a year. Immediately, no. But if you take the pause beforehand,

it allows them to sort of consider things and really think about things a lot. And also, it is just a power move. It immediately makes them feel a bit uncomfortable, especially if you're going to rock a nine-second pause. Yep. It makes them feel like bit uncomfortable, especially if you're going to rock a nine-second pause. Yep. It makes them feel like you're in charge now. It's the same in interviews and if you're talking to someone.

If you're not, you just give it a pause and it will make them say more. Yeah. In Japan, they say the key is a five-second, five seconds of silence per minute of your conversation. Okay. So if you're in a negotiation, like a long negotiation, every minute just, I'm not just rolling minute of your conversation. Okay, well, there you go. So if you're in a negotiation, you know, like a long negotiation, every minute just... I'm not just rolling along with this conversation.

Yeah, slow it right down. That's good. Take the power back. What a power move. So if you want more money, honey, shut your mouth. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Producer Jared's got something in the mailbox that's not a bill. I don't get any mail anymore because I've got a no junk mail sticker.

But sometimes a Domino's will slip through and I'm like, God, I should sue them, eh? Get a free pizza. As soon as you own a house, you get constantly mail from real estate agents being like, hey, you want to sell your house? You're like, no, I just got it. I just got it and I won't get back in the market. No, I don't want to sell it.

Except to buy another one. But there's like, you won't get back in the market. No, I don't want to sell it. Except to buy another one. But there's like, you don't get, because all the bills now are emailed. Yeah. Like my power bill and stuff. Yeah. And sometimes if there's anything in the mailbox, I'm like, ooh.

Lots and lots of it. Yeah, but it's hardly anything. Yeah, I feel like it's always like, what's the word? Like correspondence from some membership you've got that you forgot about, you know? Yeah. Well, like Reader's Digest.

That's like a real... Or like some card for something that you don't remember you were part of. Like the Adair's Linen Lovers card. Yeah! Oh, yeah, that's what Sade always gets. You know, in the opening, they're like, what? The farmer's little red dot special mailer.

Yeah. And that's not junk mail, technically, because you're a member and you have asked for it. Yeah, right. And it's got your name on it. And we get the local papers, you know, the little local ones. We get the QMU courier. I used to deliver those when I was at school. That was like my after school job.

You'd be getting the Western Leader, wouldn't you? Western Leader? Yeah. Getting a little bit of Western leader. Yeah. A little bit of Western leader. So in Jared's mailbox yesterday was a flyer, eight important COVID vaccine facts. Ooh. Now you would think with the vaccine rolling out, this might be about where you can get it,

when you're entitled to get it, what's happening in your neighbourhood, who's already vaccinated, Maybe some vax stats? Like, did you know yesterday, sorry to interrupt, my mum was telling me that she's going up to Whangarei,

where she's from, her dad lives in Dargaville, to get her vaxes early because they've got too many and people in Northland are being too slow, so they're going to expire. Yeah.

So they said, my mum, who's Maori and over 50, they were like, come up, because they're not going to last. Come up and get it. Yeah. Get up and get your Pfizer. So when she visits her dad, she's goingori and over 50, they're like, come up. Because they're not going to last. Come up and get it. Yeah.

Get up and get your Pfizer. So when she visits her dad, she's going to get her jabs. Are people being too slow or they're not? They don't want to. They're just not doing it. Come on, guys. Come on, people. Guys, Northland, come on.

Yes. Now if you're Māori or over 50 in Northland, you can get vaccinated. You can get it. But if you're out of Northland and you want to get it, you can go up and get it. Pop home. This is kumara season two. Get a bag of kumaras on the side of the road. Get a big bag of kumara.

Sack of doggy kumaras. So eight imported COVID vaccine facts. However, not facts, anti-vax. Oh, Jared, you've got some anti-vaxes around you. Yep, they're infiltrating the neighbourhood. Oh, my God. It feels illegal for someone to put... Well, I know when people were putting the...

They made them to look like the official... I know, that was the anti-mask stuff on Wellington Public Transport, right? And they used the official COVID colours and designs and fonts and everything. They said that could have actually been illegal. So did this pamphlet look like it was official? Yeah, because I got the mail at night time

and I just glanced at it and I was like, oh, cool, I'm about to learn some stuff. Because it looks like a government-made little leaflet thing. And what did you learn? But it's not in the COVID colours. It's not in the yellow and white with the COVID logo or anything. Yeah, it's in green and blue. It does look government-made, though.

It does. It looks like something you'd find at your local, all those places. No, no, where you get the JP. Citizen's Advice Bureau. Yeah. Citizen's Advice Bureau. Yeah, so I like had a look and I was like,

wait a second, this is full of anti-vax propaganda. Right. Because I don't want to, I don't think we should read any of that out. No, no. There's no point doing that. Nah, I'm really through it. It's a bunch of horse shit. And there's even some words in there that don't think we should read any of that out. There's no point doing that. Nah, I'm really through it. It's a bunch of horse shit.

There's even some words in there that don't actually exist. There was a word, I was like, what does that mean? And I looked it up and it's literally a word invented by anti-vaxxers. Is it genotoxicity? No, that describes the property. That was one of the words I looked up to see if it existed because it didn't feel like it was. Oh, God.

But that can be. But that's more like when you go to Chernobyl for too long. Yeah. Versus you get a vaccine and it saves your life. Maybe you'll find like a cockroach or something, you know,

use it, grab it. Oh, yeah, when you need to squash something. Yeah, you always need that something. I'm not going to waste a roll of paper towels on there. I like to keep these things for those. To squash cockroaches and get rid of

bugs and such. Spiders and the likes. Yeah, okay. So just, that's another warning. Yeah, be careful. Yeah. Because it was, what was it around about this time last year that everybody was sharing that pandemic documentary, Drew? They were sharing that dumb video that was on Facebook and everyone was like,

oh my gosh, look, look, everybody look. Yeah, I told you, look at this. And then it was all disproven as just a bunch of rubbish. Yeah, I burnt down that 5G tower, didn't I? I regretted that. God, I know you spent so long

in prison for that as well. The fallout was huge. I happened to marry up, your prison term was as much as lockdown so nobody really noticed. No. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Bad news, if you get your New Zealand passport from your brother printer, or your Epsom, what is it, Epsom, is that a branded printer? Yeah, I was going to say Deskjet, HP Deskjet. Yeah, HP Deskjet. HP Deskjet, that's what I've got. Well, the New Zealand passport is getting a makeover

and it's getting new security features, which will make the New Zealand passport one of the most technologically advanced passports in the world, which to me is code for don't take this swimming when you're overseas. Don't we already have one of the most technically advanced passports in the world? Because a few years ago they brought out the little,

your face was put on that little holographic window. On the little hole, on the little piggy piggy hole. So apparently that is also going to be new. It's a new data page with a special kinogram. I think that's what that's called. And they're using special ink, thermochromatic ink, which becomes invisible at a certain temperature and then reappears at a set point temperature.

So when they put it in at customs under that little thingy, it'll heat it up and it'll be like, this is actually Haley Sproul. Wow. And I don't know. And then the cover is still the same except it'll have Aotearoa above New Zealand.

So it'll say... Is it not already? I think it was under or it wasn't? Yeah. As it should be. So yeah, but another warning, 400,000 people are without passports because they've expired in the last year. Now, they're saying that because the last year there haven't been a lot of passports issued, they will still be going to use the old stock. So if you need a passport, maybe don't.

I've always wondered that. So they've just got boxes and boxes and boxes of those passports and then they get your details and put your little page on it. So if you're going to get one now, like your passport's expired. Your passport's expired.

Your passport's expired, then you have to get this one, but then you're going to get an upgrade later. Because they're 10 years again 10 years yeah they last 10 years so yeah just get one a few weeks before you go if you want the new one

my passport photo is incredible I look stunning because the first one I got before was an emergency passport the day before I was going to Edinburgh

so I looked like I was so stressed and so the next year I really I kind of smiled and they let me get it Tyra Banks. Do you know my favourite rendition of the passport was the one in the 90s

and it had a little kuru design down the bottom like this, like this sort of line of kuru design. And it would go along the bottom of the photo. And on my dad's photo, I'll never forget it, the kuru design went up onto his face and it looked like he had a perfect moko. It was like it was printed sellotape or seal. Yeah, yeah, on top of it. And the kuru would go over the photo so that you couldn't take it out.

My family was too poor to travel in the 90s. I'm sorry. But yeah, the way that it was just the two bits of the kuru went on my Pakeha dad's chin and he looked like he had a lovely moko. And news on the travel bubble yesterday. It's now official. You'll be able to use your new passport if you need one to go to the Cook Islands.

Less than two weeks until a bubble opens. There are going to be flights starting on the bubble open 17th of May, and New Zealand's going to start offering flights on the 18th of May. I love the Cook Islands. I think two or three flights a week. Yep. Which isn't good news once you get there, because you know one of the best things to do once you get there

is sit on the end of the runway and have a plane fly just over your head. Or you stand behind it and get the jet blast when it takes off at the beach. Yeah, you can feel it down the end of the runway. All right. It's going to be good to get back to the Cooks. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A landlord found their home. The tenant moved out.

Yep. They came back to do the inspection and what was missing was a door and a toilet seat. They'd taken them with them. They'd taken a door. And a toilet seat. The toilet seat lid. Had they put that on though?

Or they just needed the toilet seat. The toilet seat lid. Had they put that on though? Or they just needed the toilet seat lid? Well, no. All toilets come with a toilet seat lid. It's on the chattels list. You can't just go and take it. Yeah, right. Apparently the carpets were also stained. There was rubbish left everywhere. Took them to the tenancy tribunal and now the person has to pay $500

for the replacement door. Must be a pretty nice door. How much is a door these days? I think doors, yeah. They're expensive. Doors can be expensive. Like a bedroom door. An internal door. $500.

Because you buy them hung now. You buy them hung. So you buy the frame and everything they go in. But if you're going to just get a door, you've got to get the exact right size. You're just placing it on the hinge. And if you've got a unique, like a 70s home, they don't really make those doors anymore. And you've got to find a matching handle. You need to placing it on the hinge. You know, like a 70s home. They don't really make those doors anymore.

And you've got to find a matching handle. You need to pay $60 for the missing toilet lid, which also, you can get those from Kmart, Bunnings. I don't know if Kmart do toilet lids. No, I know. That came out. It came out and I doubted it immediately. You just assume everything is at Kmart.

Yeah. I'm trying to think about if I've ever taken anything from a flat. I have when I moved out anything from a flat. I have when I moved out of my last flat. What did you take? My favourite coffee cup. Why was that? Oh, but that was a flatmate's thing. I just loved it. It had just

been there forever. What about something that actually came with the house, like a heater? Well, you can't take those. Well, this person unhinged the door and took it. People always, I remember some flatmates moved out of a flat I was in and they took some utensils. I was like, no.

And you become at one with your kitchen utensils. It's hard just to go get another fish slice. Especially when you've really worked one. When you've got it and you love it. I remember when we were moving out of the flat to move into our first home and we had all of our stuff in a box and one of the flatmates went through and was like, oh, you should leave these behind. These are, you know, everyone here's used them and, you know,

like there's an ice cream scoop in there. Do you guys ever know ice cream? It's like, well, I don't know if it matters if we eat ice cream. I feel like it's our own. I lived in one of those flats at drama school that then became a drama school flat. You know, like you'd leave and the next sort of age of drama school students

would move into it. It happened all the time in Wellington. So I never, like, I don't know who ever wound up that flat and ended the tenancy finally. But, you know, years and years of people just leaving their crap when you left. Like when I left, I just packed up my bedroom

and left, but I would have left heaps of crap under the stairs. Yeah, that's why it's okay to steal the odd thing when you leave a flat. Yeah, it's communal living, isn't it? Not chattels. Not chattels. Not chattels. Like your jetties. You can't take a door. That's not going to end well for you. Door handles or anything like that. So we want to ask

if anyone out there has taken something from a flat. Yeah, like when you moved out or maybe somebody did that to you. Like took your favourite fish slice, like it's happened to me.

Yeah, and it still cuts you up, doesn't it? I mean, it cut me up but then I did steal a coffee cup that was my favourite coffee cup. It's karma.

Just couldn't let it go. What kind of fish slice was it? It's just a plain one but I liked it. Was it steel? No, like a plastic one. like a silicone-y plastic one. Yeah, I've got a fish slice that is second to none.

Yeah, and then also why are they called fish slices? I've never seen anybody slice a fish with one. No, I don't know. I think you flip the fish, don't you? It shouldn't be called a slice. It should be called a fish flip. Or maybe it's a fried pan slipper. I don't know what they're called.

I believe it's a fish slice. You were right the first time. I flipped more pancakes than I with the fish slice. Yeah, same. You need to get more protein into your diet. All right, so 0800- Just don't flip a fish. 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696 on the back of the story.

Have you ever stolen something when you've moved out of a flat or had someone steal something as they moved out? Yeah, it could be an item. Really funny if there is someone out there who has stolen a chattel. The curtains, maybe. Or has my fish slice. Oh, I'm showing you the curtains. I've got a pain in the ass

when I hear curtains. Well, a story in the news about some people that moved out of a flat and took a toilet seat and a door. And so that tenancy tribunal said, you've got to pay for those. You do have to pay for that. You do.

And we thought, you know, I've taken a coffee cup. Someone's nicked a fish slice from me when they moved out of the flat. I thought this was going to be stories like that. I know, or like a book or something, but. Do you know the most popular thing? From landlords. We're hearing from landlords.

They go after the tenants move out for a flat inspection. Tenants have taken all the light bulbs. They take a house full of light bulbs. Because they replaced them? Well, that's what a landlord said. Even though I replaced them during their tenancy. Yeah. At the end of it, they took all the light bulbs.

So then when I took it out of their bond, because I had to replace all the light bulbs in the house, they took it to the tenancy tribunal. And then what did the tenancy tribunal say? The tenancy tribunal agreed with the landlord. Oh, yeah, for sure. They said that they had all the receipts to prove that they'd replaced the light bulb. Even if, like, when we were last flatting, I would never, we would never ring the landlord to be like, the light in the hall's gone out.

Yeah, like, buy a light bulb for 80 cents and change it. And then when you leave, don't take it. Yeah. A small donation to the next tenant. But, wow, some of the stuff that people are nicking off with is insane. Yeah, somebody messaged in saying our flatmate was moving out. We came home,

the fridge was gone. Fair enough, it was their fridge, but they took all the food inside the fridge as well, which was like the flat shopping for the week. Oh, that's so good.

Jared, what did a flatmate steal when they moved out? Good morning, how are we? Good, mate. Good. So we had a flatmate maybe like a year ago, and we all went halves on like a big L-shaped couch

and a brand new washing machine. Okay. Probably cost about like two and a half grand total. Yeah. And we lived in like a two-story house. Yeah. And we had a bit of an argument with him the day before, and he pretty much, the next day, he grabbed both of those items,

took them downstairs somehow somehow and was gone. He took he moved out with a washing machine and a couch. Yeah. Here's my piece of advice never buy something like that

as a flat. No. It never ends well. It's not going to last forever. Yeah this is not And at the end of it if one person offers to buy it off then you're going to constantly argue about how much is depreciated and what it's worth now. It's not going to last forever. Yeah, this is not... And at the end of it, if one person offers to buy it off, then you're going to constantly argue

about how much is depreciated and what it's worth now. It's going to stain on it that you made. This is not great advice for Jared Nalhorn. Did you get anything back? Nah, so we've never heard from him again. He apparently moved down south. So, yeah, it's going to suck.

Oh, my God. Sayonara. It is so crazy. Right, thanks for your call, Jared. Keep your texts, your calls coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. What has somebody nicked when they've moved out of the flat? That sort of fish slice.

Fish slice is longer and fish slice is longer and... I would say a fish slice almost has to be metal and it has to have a decorative retro handle. Sort of a wooden retro handle. We're just debating. Debating. Look, a fish slice is that shape. It's more of a fanned shape like that.

That's a fish slice. No, that is a spatula. That is a fish slice. Show me what you thought was a spatula. A spatula is... No, no, no, no, no. A spatula is one of those rubbery silicon things with a curved edge and a cornered edge

so you can get into the corner of whatever vessel you're trying to scoop that goop out of. You don't know anything. I will kill you. Spatula or fish slice. Either way, somebody stole mine once when they moved

out of a flat and we are talking about that has become somewhat of a side issue of what people are calling huge bone of contention for everybody listening. It's my last week here

so it's not going on. Why are you calling it a fish slice? It's a fish flap. It's not a fish flap. It's my last week here. Why are you calling it a fish slice? It's a fish flap. It's not a fish flap. It should be called a fish flip. I mean, maybe a fish flip. Yeah. Maybe it was a typo.

Maybe it went from flip to flap. It's not a fish flap. Well, either way, what has somebody stolen from you when they've moved out of your flat? Anonymous, what did somebody steal? Hello? Hello. Anonymous. what did somebody steal? Hello? Hello. Anonymous.

It's a very anonymous voice as well. Anonymous callers always get freaked out because... Is it me? Is it me? It is. Yeah. A friend's neighbour actually stole their carport when they were evicted. Carport?

What? How thus? How do you steal a carport? I don't think it was actually fully attached to the ground. It was, like, bolted. So I think they must have just unbolted it, took the whole thing. Oh, my goodness.

It's a roof on stilts, basically. And did they ever get that back or get money for it? Oh, we don't know. We didn't know anything. I didn't follow the story much. Imagine that. Imagine the audacity. I know.

How are you born with such entitlement? I'm going to move house and I'm going to fricking take that carport with me. I'm taking that carport, baby. I'm going to take the fence. I'm taking the mailbox. I love that you would have walked out of me like, now what's that attached with? That's just bolted into the concrete.

That is my carport now. I've been using it. It's mine now. Levi, what did somebody steal from your flat when they moved out? Someone stole my 55-inch TV while I was at work. What? Well, a flatmate moved out and just took it. Yeah, I was at work, and he gave me notice saying that he was going to leave.

So I said that was all right. Went to work that next day and then came home, no TV. Did you follow up with... Yeah, did you have their contact details at least? Yeah, well, I had his tenancy, so I went to the police and it turned out that he had sold it on to one of those cash dealers. Oh, wow. And so did you get the bond back for you?

No, I kept his bond as the security for the TV as well as he got charged with debt. Oh, wow. That's a win-win, actually. Did you get a brand new TV out of this or did you have to get the old one back? No, I got a better TV. I got a smart TV.

Oh, yeah, Levi. It all worked out in the long term. The apps are already on the TV. It's amazing got a smart TV. Yeah, Levi. It all worked out in the long term. The apps are already on the TV. It's amazing. It's perfect. Thanks, Levi. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, I can see your tenants taking the light bulbs and raise you tenants ripping up all of the carpet and taking it with them.

People are mad. Somebody else said, our tenants we had took all of our nice curtains that were custom made for the place and replaced them with just cheap curtains from the warehouse. Why'd they do that? Why'd they do that? Do you reckon they ruined the initial curtains? Yeah, 100%. It's just going to be cheaper for us to get some other ones.

I ruined curtains. I had like these taffeta curtains in one of my uni flats and it had this sort of sheer, sheer taffeta sort of top on top. What's taffeta? One of those track suits we made out of in the 90s. Remember mum would wear them to sports games? Yeah, but they were all like, you know, pearly kind of weird colors. And I had kept tripping over the end of it for years

and ripped the bottom off it. And so when I had my flat inspection, I just put my headboard against it and was like, oh, I'm just going to move that after this yeah it's a it's an age old trick isn't it yeah it's so age old

that she just pulled it forward and was like the curtains ripped somebody else said we thought the tenants hadn't taken anything until the new tenant said hey what happened

to the drawer bit that goes in the dishwasher and they'd taken the pull out a whole rack they'd taken all the racks somebody else said The tenants took the toilet door

All of the dishes that were supplied And the spa pool A whole spa pool First of all Imagine if we went flat with the spa pool Yeah There's the line between Being a bit cheeky

Yeah And being a thief Yeah Like taking a spatula Or a fish slice Or a coffee cup Or a carpal Or someone saying It's spatula or a fish slice or a coffee cup. Or a carpal. Or someone saying it's also called an egg slice.

Oh, yeah, an egg slice. I almost feel like we should scratch what we've got after 8 o'clock and get to the bottom of what these utensils are called. I'm on the Stevens website, and a spatula is what you use to scrape the cake batter out of a thing. Yeah, the rubbery sort of thing. A slice is the long one with the holes in it, and a turner is the flat one.

A turner. That you might use to scramble your eggs. No, no, no. I wouldn't use that to scramble my eggs. You can tap your watch at me. I would use a wooden spoon. You're going to use a wooden spoon to scramble the eggs. You use a wooden spoon.

You don't use a, what are you using that for? Don't use a turner to do your eggs. Oh, every now and then I do. I've only got one wooden spoon left. Oh, you can't go past a good wooden spoon investment. Oh, no, they're the best. If there's some good wooden spoons, that's a bit of advice from Dad. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Now, the London School of Economics has done this. Oh, okay. That's posh economics. I'd be absolutely fascinated to know if people that work in restaurants and bars, if this is a thing in New Zealand. Because it's long been said... But it's Tuesday morning. It was hospital night last night.

Oh, yeah. No, but former, maybe former hospital workers. Or the responsible ones. Yeah. It's long been said that if you order at a restaurant or a bar, and say, for example, you want a glass of wine or a bottle, you won't go for the cheapest because then you'll look cheap, especially on a date. So you't go for the cheapest because then you'll look

cheap, especially on a date. So you'll go for the second cheapest. But that was always a trap because they knew that's what people do. So they put their second cheapest as the first and their first cheapest as the second. So the London School of Economics has compared 6,000 restaurants to bottles of wine and done this research and they have found that the biggest rip off and the biggest mark up is the third bottle on the menu. Do you think it used to be the second bottle so people moved to the third bottle and then

everyone caught on to the third bottle so they made this the third bottle. So wait, now you're paying the third tier price for a cheap bottle of Plonk. Ridiculous. Because, yeah, they must have caught on that everybody was doing the second cheapest. The second cheapest. So what, do we go back to the second cheapest

or do we just go back to the cheapest? Oh, yeah. See, the cheapest position has never moved. The cheapest is still going to be better than the third. Or the second. Or the second, yeah. Or maybe, I'm not sure. Maybe.

Or do we just get a couple of ports and call it a night? No, because we're- A couple of tawny ports. A couple of tawny ports early in the night. You can't have too much sultana juice early in the night. How long is the evening? Would you like a Prosecco circus down the evening? You're like, no, bring me a tawny port.

I'm finishing the evening right now. I'm finishing the evening as we begin. So, yeah, I don't know if that's the same here in New Zealand, but it seems, I mean, this is the London School of Economics, 6,000 restaurants that they looked at, and they found the biggest markup is the third bottle of wine. Okay, I need to know this because I do. I go for that thing of being like, oh, I'm not going to go for the...

Because we were at dinner the other night, and we did the exact thing where we're just like, oh, let's get the second cheapest. Yeah, we got a bottle of red and we're like, oh, not the cheapest. But also not number four or five.

Yeah. Yeah. Fascinating. I mean, sometimes you can tell. I mean, sometimes I feel like places are honest. If they, you know, if it's your clean skin

is number one on the list, that is the cheapest bottle of wine. So clean skin's the one where... It's like no brand, basically. At the end of it, they've got some left over, right? So they're like, pour it in bottles and sell it cheap, but don't put our label on it because everyone will come on to the fact

that we don't need to be selling it for $36 a bottle. They actually call it the embarrassment theory, that you're too embarrassed to go for the cheapest because the people who judge you, the people you're with will judge you. And so, yeah, they've clotted onto it so much that, yeah, the second and third bottles. They're playing us. I'm going back to cheap.

You're going back to cheap? The cheapy that I've always been. Yep. Unless it's a Corbin's White label, in which case I'm not going there. I'm going back into smuggling a goon. Yeah, I'm going sack in the handbag. Yeah, yes. Hang the handbag on the chair, have the tap facing front.

Look, look, look, look, look, look. Anyone else? I'm like, man, you're really making that pin on Wild Art. You should actually put a little slit in your handbag so that you can get the tap out. You can buy handbags online. I started getting targeted advertising for specially made handbags for goon sacks. Goonbag, handbag, NZ. And it's even got the little.

Buy now. Who wants in? One, two, three. Do they look nice, though? No, but. I mean, it's not a Deadly Ponies, is it? But maybe that's what Deadly Ponies. I'm going to say it's more of a tote.

It's not really a bag that you would take out to the bar. Oh, that's like you'd take that to the beach or something. But buy now. I'm buying one. Oh, that's like you'd take that to the beach or something. But buy now. I'm buying one. Also, let's be honest, some of those BYOs don't really care, do they? Honestly. You could probably carry the goon in your hands. Just pay the corkage for a good.

Flesh, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Start it. Get started. Get started. Don't get Flesh started. Don't get Flesh started in here. Don't get F Get started. Get started. Don't get Fletch started. Ha! Don't get Fletch started in here. Don't get Fletch started.

Ha! Don't get Fletch started in here. Yeah! Up. Now, I was having a whinge before. Yeah. And before you start, Vaughan, Hayley's on my side on this one. Absolutely, 100%.

Well, Fletch was saying he went out for a meal. I'm imagining it was using that first table thing where it's cheap because you go super early because you eat dinner at the time your grandparents used to eat dinner.

No, actually it wasn't. First table is great for my rest home hours, though. Yeah, which is just where you eat before everybody else arrives. So good. So you were probably paying a hugely discounted rate.

I wasn't actually. Weren't you? No. Paying full price. Yep. Most unusual for you. But you were complaining that the restaurant, although didn't seem busy with patronage inside, was very busy with takeaway orders

and it meant you had to wait. And Hayley, you've experienced this too because when I brought this up, this has happened twice to me now. You know, you're like, where shall I eat? You're like, we just need a quick restaurant or whatever. And you look and you're like, oh, there's like three people in there. This is great. We'll get food quickly.

We won't have to wait long. And you end up waiting 40 minutes because what you don't see in the restaurant or store is that 800,000 people have ordered Uber Eats or Deliveroo or whatever the bloody hell it's called. Deliveroo. Who the hell is that? Delivery donkly doodah. Delivery Eats or whatever the companies are. And you don't see that the kitchen's so busy cooking for like a hundred other people. It's misleading. It is. And you know what I mean because you've experienced this. Don't get Sprout started, all right?

Don't get she. I had this on, we were out for our anniversary this weekend and we sat down at this restaurant and they were like, hey, did you know you can actually order via an app or you can order at the table? We were like, okay, can we just order from you? She was like, yeah. Or you can use the app. And I were like, okay, can we just order from you? She was like, yeah, or you can use the app. And I was like,

well, you're here. What's happening? This is what we want. We ordered and it took an hour and a half. It took so long for our meals to arrive

that they gave them to us for free. So to be fair, they did redeem themselves. An hour and a half. And was that because were you seeing takeaway people come in? Yeah,

because they were doing takeaways. And we're in there. We have walked. We have gotten out of bed. We have slapped on a face in a frock. Yeah, yeah. We've made all the effort. And these lazy people just sitting at home.

I only eat at restaurants that don't do takeaway. I'm a higher class. I know for a fact that is a lie. A restaurant. An absolute lie. I avoid these problems by staying classy. It was so bad in one of the places, they were having an absolute meltdown in the kitchen

and the guy was just like, I've got to stop because they've got a separate iPad for the orders that come in from the delivery apps. Just turn it off, put it on mute. And they were just like, he was like, I'm pausing all of the takeaway orders. Because you can sometimes see when you go on like Uber Eats or the likes that it'll say restaurant currently unavailable. Oh, really?

Yeah. I've had it before with places. It's obviously, you know, like a Saturday night, they're too busy. And so they have to shut it down, which is a smart thing to do. Don't just keep taking them. People waiting at the table in there. Well, anyway, yeah. I don't know.

Maybe that's something you should ask. Like, how busy are. I don't know. Maybe that's something you should ask. How busy are you with online orders before you sit down? Way to be passive aggressive. And just before we do take our seat,

how busy are you with online orders? Because I'm here. I want to be prioritised. By the way, I've got a GrabOne voucher. I've got a GrabOne voucher and its first table.

I don't want to be treated like a second-rate citizen because you're making no money off me. No, I was not using a voucher. And I don't mind waiting. Like, that's fine. But an hour and a half or 45 minutes for quick food. Yeah, and we checked with the waiter twice.

We were like, is our food coming? Oh, sorry, we'll just check that. They not once said, look, the kitchen's really busy So we were expecting your 30, your 40 minute wait I go to a restaurant where that waiter just looks after our table Oh my god, and they wheel over a cart with steak on it You betcha, and they speak Italian No, you go to Yum Char and it's on a stainless steel trolley Yeah, and do I wait?

No, I do not. I'll eat anything that's on that trolley. I've seen it. It's something to behold. Sir, would you eat tripe? I said, well, I haven't got anything in my mouth, so put it in, yes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day. Sorry, we just got sidetracked there by Michael B. Jordan. Very silly today. What a man. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. Platonically speaking, as a heterosexual male, that Michael B. Jordan is a fine piece of cake. He's got it all stacked. Well, you were not platonically speaking just before we were on here.

No, that wasn't platonic. That was amongst friends about Michael B. Jordan. Actually, kind of related. Today's fact of the day is kind of related to Michael B. Jordan being like a hell of a specimen. Okay. What's the new the day is kind of related to Michael B. Jordan being like a hell of a specimen. Okay. What's the new movie

that you watch at the minute? You said the movie's Hum Ha, but it's not. The movie's rubbish. But he's on Amazon Prime. Tom Clancy's

something, something. Yeah, Rainbow Six. Something, something. One of those. Tom Clancy and then just chuck a couple of words in that you've heard your dad say.

Yeah. Like Crimson River or something. Yeah, yeah. Tom Clancy's green tree. Green bananas. That works as well. I was reading this. This popped up.

I found this very interesting. From badassbodyproject.com, looking into the fundamentals of fat loss. Because Michael B. Jordan doesn't have much. That was my connection. That was right. Certainly doesn't have much. That was my connection. That was right. Certainly doesn't. Right. A very ripped physique.

So I learned across this that while your fat cell number and size may vary across individuals, your personal fat cell number is impossible to change. What you change is the size of the fat cell. I know. Right. So the fat cells, the amount of fat cells you have when you enter adulthood is kind of the fat cells you're going to have. Oh, shit.

I know. I bought too many. I bought too many. I bought too many. Why didn't I leave some in my teen years? If I could have only said no to that entire bag of farm-baked cookies. Every day after school. But I couldn't. I couldn't. years if I could have only said no to that entire bag of farm-baked cookies every day but I couldn't.

If I could have said no to a second helping of pudding at my nana's house but I couldn't. If I could have gone for the run my mum told me to go for to stay fit for hockey but I couldn't. Do you know this? I learnt about this a few years back and look I don't know if I was looking

into it for myself or what point in my life I was at, but I was looking at plastic surgery, liposuction. And they say liposuction can really stuff with your body because you are changing the amount of fat cells in your body, which you shouldn't do. Because when you lose weight and gain weight, yeah, the fat cells remain the same, but they change in size. But when you get fat sucked out of you,

removed from your body, you are fundamentally changing that number. What does the body do to compensate? I don't know. Because it says every year 10% of your fat cells die, and I wish those bitches would stay dead! Am I right? Then what happens? Well, think of me, like,

I go into, like, 20, and I got a bunch, and then every year 10% die. By the time I'm 60, svelte. Skinny boy. That's me in my 30s. I'm ready to go. Like heaviest I've ever been. I'm ready to be a retiree on a beach looking svelte.

Is that why you shrink when you get older and everything gets all saggy? Because your fat cells are depleted. No, no, because they're still there, but they're depleted. But that's the elasticity. That's the elasticity of your skin and your muscle. Because when it's elastic, it all holds it. Yeah, right. You know, like when you're younger,

and I've definitely had this in my late teens, early 20s, the fat in the right T-shirt could look like muscle. Yes. If you packed it into the right shirt, your movies, if it just pushed them back a little bit, looked like pecs. Yeah, right. And it's just pushed them back a little bit, looked like pecs. Yeah, right.

And it's the same with like a fatty shoulder and stuff. It all looked good in the right t-shirt. But then you lose that elasticity when you get a bit older. So 10% of your fat cells die and they're replaced by the same number of new ones. Your body just regenerates them. So it's only the size of the fat cell that changes. Not the number of fat cells. And you can make them smaller by burning the energy

that they hold. But that sounds hard, doesn't it? Yeah, I know. And not eating. I'm tired. But you know, it does good stuff as well. The fat insulates the body from the cold. It does various hormones and stuff, so don't hate it. Skinny people are always like, I need another blanket or the cold. It does various hormones and stuff. Skinny people are always like, I need another blanket

or a hoodie. It certainly fills a pair of pants as well. Oh, it does, doesn't it? Yeah, I had a pair of pants on yesterday and absolutely my badonkadonk looked incroyable. It was like I was stitched into these pants and my butt went yes!

She made everybody look. That felt a little bit pushy. And then she demanded its own personal spotlight. So the lighting guys at TVNZ were very uncomfortable because they were all like 50 plus. And this 30-year-old woman being like, direct the spotlight straight on my ass, Ted. I was trying to make it more about a body positivity thing. I was like, look at it.

Give my ass a spotlight. But no, those were very flattering pants. I feel like I've said enough. We have. So today's fact of the day is you don't really get rid of fat cells. You just change the size of them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, fauna, Megan. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- No. Now, this was out of the UK. So similar names to what we'd have here.

Jan. No. Ian. No. Kevin. No. Kirsten. I'll just tell you and then we'll have to keep going.

No. Is it men's names or females' names? It's the top male and top female name. I just would have thought John just on numbers alone. Hit us. Go. Colin. Colin. Hit us. Go. Colin. Colin. And Tracy. Oh! See, I think the Tracys have got off very lightly in this whole Karen thing. They have. Because Tracy's

up there. Similar decade, similar spread. Yeah. Really reaching that peak time of complaining. Because he's always calling you up to make complaints. So Tracy was a popular name for girls in the 1960s. It was the sixth most popular name in 1964,

with Tracy close behind in 11th place by 1984. It was falling. Right. Yeah, I haven't met a lot of baby Tracys. No. Of late. Well, like baby Karens. You're not going to have, yeah, Collins, Karens, that kind of name.

I have a friend who is 30, and she's a Karen, and she's bloody sick of it, I tell you what. Traditional spelling, K-A-R-E-N? K-A-R-I-N. She's Irish. Ah, Karin. No, but it's Karen. No, I'd say Karin.

Everyone tries to call her Karin all the time. Yeah. So it's Karin. I'd go with Karin just to dodge that whole Karen bullet. So Colin and Tracy. There will be a couple out there. Colin and Tracy. There will be a couple together called Colin and Tracy.

And they'll be calling up to complain. Because that would shame them. God, they would really do a lot of, I just Googled Colin and Tracy, but it's just all the articles that you've obviously found there about them being a complaining couple. Well, there you go. It's the new Karen, Tracy.

I wonder when my name will retire from popularity. Hayley. Yeah. Yeah, because it's kind of, it's overused. It's getting in the air. It's sort of getting over the hill. Like a 90s, it was a bit of a 90s buzz. Huge. I know a lot of Hayleys around the same age.

Yeah, I went to school with a lot of Hayleys. Yeah. Why? Was there a famous Hayley in the 90s? No, it was just... Hayley's Comet. That'll be it. That'll be it, because everyone loved Hayleys. Everyone ran outside to look at Hayley's Comet, didn't they? Yeah, they did. It's like, people run outside to look at me. Here comes Hayley, quick, run out, outside to look at me. Here comes Hayley.

Quick, run out. Have a look at her. There it is. She only comes every seven years. Comes around in the atmosphere. 87 years. Was it 87? Yeah, because over the years of Canada, we were getting excited.

Yeah, we were buzzing out. Because it was the thing. I ran. We went to my grandparents. I remember the night that was going to be best to see Hayley's comic were at my grandparents. And we went outside when it was dark. And we were looking. And everyone was like, there it is. There it is. Can you see it, Vaughan? Can you see it, Vaughan? And I was like, yeah, I remember the night that was going to be best to see Hayley's Comet were at my grandparents' and we went outside when it was dark and we were looking and everyone was like, there it is, there it is. Can you see it, Vaughan? Can you see it, Vaughan?

And I was like, yeah, I see it. I couldn't see it. And I lied. You lied. I lied. 75.3 years. When's Hayley's Comet next due? Because I want to be alive, guys.

There's my reason to live. Because I didn't see it last time. Everyone should see Hayley's Comet. What about your children? Is that not a reason to live? They're almost good without me now. They're almost fully independent. I know you're not supposed to leave your kids home alone until they're like

14, but mine are like pretty good now. Yeah, they're so advanced. When is it due? 2061. Oh, that's 49. You do eat a lot of red meat. That's pushing it. I'm not saying I won't be without a colostomy bag. Don't be crazy. I'm imagining that's going to be 79. You do eat a lot of red meat. That's pushing it. Uh-huh. Oh, I'm not saying I won't be without a colostomy bag.

Don't be crazy. I'm imagining that's going to be in the next 10 years. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Boys are teasing me, and it's genuinely making me sick, Dizzy. Vaughan just found a news story of a giant moth. Oh, stop it. That was found. Biggest damn moth you'll ever see.

It was found at Queensland. It was on a spade. Wasn't it on the end of a saw or a spade? Yeah. And Hayley does have a phobia of moth. Oh, stop it. Biggest damn moth you'll ever see. It was on a spade. Wasn't it on the end of a saw? Or a spade? Yeah. And Hayley does have a phobia of moths. We were just talking about this. Stop saying the word. Stop showing pictures. Moth! I've absolutely therapised

myself through this. I cannot have this. I'm talking, I'm doing a bit now. Yeah, bless you. I hope the devil half stays inside. Gesund! Okay, take a breath. Bless you. I hope the devil half stays inside. Gesund. Okay, take a breath. I think a bit of apple's gone up the nose too. Oh, I hate that.

That's the worst part about vomiting. Because when I vomit, the nose tube gets a lot of vomit. You just got it out. Did you bite your nose to get that out or did it come back out the throat? I wonder if listeners this morning are picking up on the, honestly, the wild nature in this room this morning. There's a vibe. I'm going to bring it back down.

There's a job out there that I've heard of before, and I think it's absolutely amazing. And apparently this woman in Sydney, she earns 8,000K per gig to do this job. It's a professional bridesmaid. Have you heard of these before? No. So it's like people who are going either like, I don't want to put that kind of pressure on a close friend. I just want them to have a relaxing day and give all those responsibilities over to a stranger who I don't

care about. Or they don't have a close friend. So they hire these people who kind of do those roles, organise the... Or they might have like, say for example, your husband has three best men, but you've only got two bridesmaids. So you have one to make up the numbers. Yeah, right. But then what does she... Also organise the lot. Because $8,000 is insane.

So this woman came up with the idea after being at a wedding of a friend and watching her friends rushing around and organising things and just going like, that is not how you want your day to be for your friends either. Oh, I've had friends that have, it's really strained the relationship. So it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because people go all bridezilla and crazy. Exactly. So this is kind of like emotion free. And she comes in, she'll organise, you know, she'll go dress shopping with you.

She'll organise your hen stew. She'll look after you on the day. She can even do bridesmaid speeches for 8K. I mean, it's just, it's kind of genius. A bridesmaid speech? How, like, what are you going to say? That's like a comedy sketch in a movie. But this is it.

She's a professional. It doesn't have to be personal. She can talk her way out of anything. But does the bride just provide her with a whole lot of talking points that she wants covered? I don't know. Soothe. She's just lovely.

The key is removing stress is the key to enjoying your big day. Right. And they are stressful. So it's literally her job is to absorb the stress of the bride and be there for her, just taking care of all that. Wow.

And not putting that role on a friend. $8,000 a wedding, she charges. Here she is next to a bride. Absolute strangers. This bride has paid her to be there. She's in all the photos. She's in a dress. That's ridiculous. She's in all the photos. She's in a dress. That's ridiculous.

She does look like a lovely. She looks a bit too chummy. Chummy. You know, someone looks a bit too chummy sometimes. Yeah, she does look like a very friendly. Chummy little face. Yeah. You know, like, I don't even know how to, show me the face again.

I need some. Like, you'll just get stuck in a conversation forever. Yeah, like, she wants to talk. You're just like, you're not my friend. Well, she does say that they do become new friends. Her and the bride become new friends. They get closer and closer throughout the wedding planning process because she helps, she is also a wedding planner,

so she doesn't have to be a bridesmaid. You'd do that for $8,000? Hell yeah. I love chatting to people. I love problem solving. I'm a doer fixer. You'd do that for $8,000? Hell yeah. I love chatting to people. I love problem solving. I'm a doer fixer. You love all the wine too. I love the wine.

I love public speaking. I'm an ideal candidate for this job. It does sound great for you. Love putting on a frock. Love getting my hair and makeup done. I mean, if you were staying any later than this week,

which you're not, Megan's back on Monday, but this would be a hilarious radio thing where we farm you out to somebody's upcoming wedding as a bridesmaid. Some brides, she says, prefer not to disclose to the guests that this is a hired bridesmaid.

Well, yeah, because I don't want to look like a loser with no friends. You have to pay for your friends. Yeah, she says she has to come up with some pretty quirky backstories. Oh, like we're at uni. She usually just decides to not go into it. Yeah, we're at uni. She usually just decides to like not go into it. Yeah, we're at uni together. What did you study? Oh, it was a long time ago.

Well, there you go. So if you're out there and you're a bubbly person who's great at organising things and you're wondering what to do with your career, Professional Bridesmaid, guaranteeing you 8K a gig. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? K gig.