ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 4th November 2020

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

Baby Shark  Vaughans Gym Whoopsie  Top 6: Adults Only MOTAT  When did you have a Mixup?  Poll-y Moly: The One Edition!  Indie's Crystal  It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. I'm not going to lie, I don't want to be here for this podcast intro because you saw me, I was walking out the door. You were out, you had your backpack on. I packed my headphones away like a builder or Bob the Builder packs away his hammer. Hammer.

And then you and Jared said, hey, we haven't done the podcast intro. You left the room because Jared and I were talking about Dungeons and Dragons. He brought in his Dungeons and Dragons box. Nerds. And I've been looking at this. And then he had that big chart that he puts in front of him. Yeah, the multi-fold Dungeon Master rule book. And his little hints and tips through a good game.

How many kills he's had as Dungeon Master? book And his little hints and tips Through a good game How many kills he's had as Dungeon Master Seven by my count There's a lot to a game of Dungeons and Dragons Because I've been saying One day the whole show is just going to be a long game of Dungeons and Dragons How much time does this take producer Jared All this faffing about with Dungeons and Dragons The set up could take anywhere from a couple of hours

But the game is usually Three, four, five hours, depending. How often are you doing this? Not as often as I'd like. It's quite hard to nail down a group. So if you were to start a game of Dungeons and Dragons and your rule was you'd get together once a week and play. Yep.

Could you make the game last for ages or would there be chapters to the game? Um, well, like you start playing and then say three hours passes if you get executive intern anya and i have just we've just nodded off do you know about vagina i've heard of it never actually encountered one what's the um what do you have to roll to get past the vagina i got the dice here you I'll get the dice. You, if I met you, I wouldn't think you're into all of this nerd stuff. Yeah, I'm a bit of a closet nerd. You're a closet nerd, yeah. Look at all that.

That's a triangle dice. Yeah, these are the dice. It's a D4. Okay, okay. It's a what? It's a D4, four-sided dice. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to roll the 220-sided die.

Yep, good choice. Okay. Now I go. Okay. Oh, this isn't good. This isn't good. Two fours, what does that mean? Well, if you rolled two you rolled... Should we cast a spell? Yep, yep, you can try. You rolled a four, it's quite low. It's not gonna be a strong spell though. What do you mean? But I'm a mage so I have spell advantage.

Well advantage is rolling two dice. So you rolled with advantage, but you rolled four, which is pretty average. Should I roll and see what I get? Yeah, go on. Do a do a roll off god i'm not gonna get any vagina with four do you reckon if i get like double sixes i'll get like penis or something oh god i don't know i don't think it came up the table at 12 and a 10 oh that's good that's 12 middle of the road who rolled the 12 me so fletch you swing your greatsword at Vaughn. I don't want that thing anywhere near me. I don't know where that's made. This just took a turn. Now Fletch is on board.

Now I know. Isn't that right? Where do I sign up to play Dungeons & Dragons? This is neat, isn't it? That's nice. Okay, well anyway, I win. Let's go home. Enjoy the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Megan Minus Megan, who's away sick today again. And a big day, as you would have heard Ash just mention, the US election. Yeah, today's their Tuesday, their first Tuesday in November.

Is that how it works, eh? That's always when their election is and then their Thanksgiving's always the third Thursday. Yeah, 100 million early votes already cast in America. It's amazing, there's 300 million Americans and so 100 million is a huge percentage of those able to vote. Much like here

this year, it's just been smashing all the early voting records. Yeah. That's good. So, I mean, we may not know today. It may take weeks and then of course get involved months to find out the outcome of today's US election. It'll be a mess.

I mean, yeah, wow, just to see friends in America boarding up shop fronts, windows to see their neighbourhoods where, you know, stores have put plywood over the windows. Is this the great that he's talking about? Is this the great that he wanted to make America again? Yeah, yeah. Crazy, isn't it? Great for plywood sales, not great for many other people.

So crazy. Later in the show, we'll catch up with Jack Tame, who's reporting for One News from America. I don't know, is he in Washington or? He was yesterday. Yeah, okay,

well he's in Washington, D.C. That dude is working. He's burning the candle at all ends. And to be in America that still has like a thousand people dying a day

of COVID. Yeah. Crazy times. Do you know, actually, side note, I was listening to a podcast. Actually, you'd like this. It's about Medellin. Medellin. And Colombia.

Colombia. Yeah, Colombia. So it was mostly about how the city design changed after Pablo Escobar. Yeah. But they talked about how many people died as a result of Pablo Escobar. And I was like, how many people? So they reckon about 4,000 direct deaths from Pablo Escobar or his top lieutenants. You times that by 50, you've got how many Americans died from COVID this year.

And so it was like, it seems weird because in my mind, and he did that not over like the eight months that COVID's been killing people in America so far. This was like, you know, 18 years. Does that include that plane that he blew up? Yep. Jeez. Okay. So you think about how many people in America alone COVID's killed

versus the reign of terror in Colombia from Pablo Escobar. And it's 50 times as many. That's probably an underestimated number, surely. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's probably a conservative number. Yeah. Well, it's just crazy that it's that many people who have died. It's hard to comprehend how out of control it is over there.

We'll catch up with Jack Tame and keep you updated throughout the morning. After 7.30, he's on with us. Coming up, though, if you are listening from America and you're planning on playing with yourself today, Pornhub said, wait a minute there, champ. I'll tell you exactly what you have to do to access the goodies today. You also had an embarrassing moment at the gym yesterday. We can talk about that soon.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. In an effort to get Americans voting today, as we said before, 100 million early votes, but in 2016, 100 million Americans that are eligible to vote didn't vote. Yeah, and this is apparently the highest turnout they reckon in a century. Wow.

Like, that's how divided and intense and dramatic people feel about this. Yeah. So Pornhub have said you won't be able to use Pornhub till you've voted. They've got no actual way of doing it because you don't have to like put in your voters number or you don't have to put in your social security number to say, yeah, look, you're checking against the records.

I've done it. But they've said there To Give an F To get an F Is their Is their slogan On this On this election day But it'll just what

Just be like a booze website When you're buying a bottle of Booze It'll be like Are you 18 You're like yes And I've I've never been to this website

But I hear they run ads Before the videos Those ads Will be Encouraging people to vote. And they've got all their brand ambassadors. Imagine that. Being a brand ambassador.

Yeah, for voting. No, for Pornhub. Oh, for Pornhub, yeah. They've got all their brand ambassadors telling people to go and vote as well. They said that it's their duty. Good on them. Yeah. Yeah.

Get out there again and have a vote, they said, because we know that we have at least that many. So they took about 100 million. Yeah. Yeah. Get out there again and have a vote, they said, because we know that we have at least that many. So they took about 100 million. Yeah. They said we know we have at least that many visitors every day. 100 million people go there every day. Yeah. I guess that's worldwide.

Yeah, true. That's a worldwide situation. But yeah, we know that if we could just encourage a few more people to vote, then that number would come down. Right. But I heard someone saying they waited an hour and a half to vote. Yeah. You can see why people can't be bothered.

But then obviously people feel so strongly about Trump or Biden either way. They're waiting in line for like an hour and a half, two hours. That's why there was so much push for early voting over there too because there's always been a problem with how long it can take to vote if there's too many people in the line. I think I waited like four minutes when I voted in October and I was like, this is too long. Yeah, I think we waited

just over that, maybe ten minutes tops. But there is no way I would vote if I had to wait an hour and a half. Like, there is no way in hell. That's a long vote. Yeah. But you can do the mail-ins, right? But then that's... Yeah. But we'll find out how that goes later today.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. YouTube have announced their most watched video of all time. Now, it has... This number one video has... Can you say before you play it, how many views has it had? So it's had 7.04 billion. Okay, because I remember when GamNimStyle...

GamNimStyle, yep. That was the first video to hit a billion views, right? And then it was like, well, it'll be a while till we see this get beaten. And then that Charlie Puth song from Fast and the Furious with Paul Walker in it, that passed a billion. And I can't remember what else had passed a billion, but everybody was talking about how a billion

was like this insane number for online views. So this has got seven billion. Yeah. Now, so this would be the song that was number one. That was number one like Desposito. For a while, yeah. So this had...

It must have been the next one. How many views has Desposito had? So 7.03 billion. This one? Yeah. Desposito. Has had 7 billion views?

Yeah. That's one for every person on earth. Yeah. And I know my mum hasn't watched it. Or everybody in South America's watched it 20 times. At least. At least. So that has been, Desposito has been, what would you say, unseated?

Yeah. Dethroned. Dethroned by... Baby. Shark-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-baby. Shark-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-baby. Your eyes just glazed over and rolled back into your head. Like some kind of PTSD. I remember when...

The versions of this song before this song, when my girls were young, there was the Baby Shark song. Yeah. It wasn't done by these people. The thing about Baby Shark, it's been around forever, but then something about this particular version really caught everybody.

Yeah. So 7.04 billion times it's been viewed. Wow. It might never stop. It might. Well, that's the thing. Kids love it

and they just put it on loop, don't they? Like South Americans love Despacito. They can watch it over and over. Babies love Baby Shark. Yeah. Two minutes 17.

So again, it's over pretty quickly, like most songs are these days. So you have to listen again and loop it. Yeah. Yeah. So Pinkfong kids songs and stories are the people that uploaded that. Right.

So yeah, it says 7 billion views in four years. That was uploaded four years ago, that particular version of Baby Shark. But all of their other, all of their other videos have benefited wildly. How much money would they have made just from YouTube alone? No, that's the thing. Because they didn't write that song. Was it a public property, Baby Shark? No.

Because. You mean no one's made money out of it well no somebody will have made money out of it like they will have got a performance so as a south korean education right company um origins and history baby shark originated as a campfire song or a chant um sources have mentioned traditional myths as a basis. Other camping origins of the 20th century and some say it is possibly developed by camp councillors

inspired by the movie Jaws. Each member of the family of the sharks introduced with different hand motions. That's the thing I remember. That was when the kids used to do it.

Various entities have copyrighted original videos and sound recordings of the song and some have trademarked merchandise based on their versions. However, according to the New York Times, the underlying song various entities have copyrighted original videos and sound recordings of the song and some have trademarked merchandise based on their versions. However, according to the New York Times,

the underlying song and characters are believed to be in the public domain. So they will have made all their money off all those 7 billion views, that means. Wow, okay. Which would be a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah, so in January 2019,

it had 5 billion views. Yep. So in the near two years since then, it's racked up another 2 billion views. It is considered an educational video, so it's the most viewed educational video of all time. Wow. Wow. I can't imagine if you made something like that, and then it had 7 billion views. Just retire, and you'd be making money while you sleep.

The music video features two child actors, one of which is actress Elaine Johnston, a nine-year-old New Zealander of Korean-Scottish descent. Really? And that was... Bit of my mum's. Bit of that. Bit of kickback. Bit of cash.

Imagine if she's like, I'll do it for free, but I want to share the residuals. Like some real boss nine-year-old. She's not George Clooney, mate. She's Sandra Bullock in Gravity. She's like, no, no, I'll backdoor it. I'll wait till the residuals start rolling in. Thank you very much.

After re-watching season one of The Mandalorian before the season two premiere, which was fantastic, I returned yesterday at the gym. I watch television to try to forget where I am and the pain I'm experiencing. And then before you know it, you've done a whole episode of cardio. Yeah, yeah.

It's great. Exactly. That's how it works. So I went back to finish Watchmen, which is a TV series set some 30 years after the movie. The movie was really weird. The TV series is also pretty weird. I never watched the movie. The TV show I've finished The TV series is also pretty weird. I never watched the movie.

The TV show I've finished, I finished a while ago, and I really liked it. It's not a show you can be on your phone. No. During. It's quite full on. Quite a few of the same characters in it.

Jeremy Irons is incredible. Yeah, he plays, well, Aussie Mandyist or whatever his name is. He's the smartest man in the world. He's in the original movie. It's got 26 nominations for the Emmys. Wow. Watchmen.

Have they been? No, what's been? The Golden Globes. The Golden Globes. The Golden Globes. And it won a few then. Yeah, maybe they've been, but it had 26 nominations. I remember that.

Fantastic acting. The acting's amazing. But I had been warned by you, Fletch, and Producer Jared that there was going to be a full frontal penis. Yeah, Producer Jared, did this shock you, this moment, the full frontal penis? Yeah, I was shocked and intimidated. Because we don't normally see that on TV, do we?

Not as much, but it's an HBO show. I'm not afraid to whip out the old penis. HBO. Just weird because the character whose pain it is, is blue. All blue. Yeah, Dr. Manhattan. From the original movies, yeah, he's the guy that gets blasted with nuclear power and becomes this omnipresent god. So he's in it. So is it just weird, do you think, because it was blue? And so present? Like the sheer size of it, I didn't even notice the blue.

Oh, right. Okay, yeah, right. Because it starts, he's in a kneeling position and it scans down from his head and it gets to his chest and you're like, oh, yeah, well, they'll probably stop here. And then it keeps going and the belly button and it keeps going. And then, yeah, there's a good eyeful anyway. I was on that

and because I was like, like must have made a little noise. Yeah. The old girls beside me on the treadmills, they were just going for their walk. Oh yeah. And they looked

and then I looked and they looked at me like, what are you watching? That was almost, and I just, and it was just momentary and then it was gone. So hopefully they thought, they mis-saw

things and I don't get reported as Well, do they wear glasses? Gym creep. No, not while they're exercising. They might have a pair of bifocals in their purse, but they just go I tell you what I admire them though, they go for a, every day they go for a walk

on the treadmill, a bike on the stationary cycles and then they go for a walk on the treadmill, a bike on the stationary cycles, and then they go for a quick row. Oh, lovely. Yeah, all the while they never take off their pearls. So that's, I think. Put your pearls on. Yeah, they're like dressed in the nines.

You know, like that generation, like my nan's generation, they dress up for everything. Like they dress up for church. They were the generation, the first generation that flew. Or they dressed up to go flying. So they always dress up to go on a plane. Yep. And I guess they're dressed up for church. They were the generation, the first generation that flew. So they always dress up to go on a plane. Yep. And I guess they're out. And they always smell delightful.

They smell like nana. Yeah, right. Okay. What's that one? It's not Red Door. White Diamonds. White Diamonds, okay. A little bit of Ardun.

Oh, they love a bit of White Diamonds. Yeah, right. They love a little White Diamonds. But anyway, yesterday they saw a big blue penis on their trip to the gym, so that might have been their day highlight. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the yummy ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

We're a adults only. You'd say our turn in adults only is interchangeable, right? Yeah, same thing. Completely interchangeable. So an adult only event is happening at Motat. It's happened before. It's called WTF. I just read the description before.

Dare to indulge your curiosity. Test your squeamish limits. Open your mind at this provocative event involving performances and interactive entertainment designed to challenge and provoke. And I was describing to Fletch some of the photos. There's someone with fire poi. Yep. There's toilet racing, so toilets with little engines in them

and you drive them around a racetrack. Okay. Naked girls reading was at WTF in 2019. Okay. Looks like some pole performance. And there's somebody in what looks to be a full latex suit with rabbit ears and high heels, but also crutches. Goodness, you hope they'll clear out before the school tours start the next morning.

There might be some questions. You're a parent, so you have to answer those questions. That's part of being a parent. But I've got the top six things to go down in an adults-only night at Motac. This won't happen at WTF. Okay. But this is it. There was to go down in an adults-only night at MoTak. This won't happen at WTF. Okay. But this is it. There was a full-blown adults-only night at MoTak.

Just saying, yeah. Number six, playing with those big electrical balls. With your balls. You know those plasma ones where you touch and the lightning goes to where you're touching the ball? Yeah, those are cool. They were a real... Nothing said, we're well off in the 90s

like if your kid had a plasma ball in their room. And you'd touch it and... And use it as a nightlight. But yeah, if you've never seen them, it's this glass ball and this lightning zapping around in the middle. And whenever you touched it, it would go to your finger.

Yeah. They haven't made a comeback though, have they? I thought they might have. How did they work? I don't know. Magic, I think. Plasma ball. You can still get... comeback, though, have they? I thought they might have. How did they work? I don't know. Magic, I think. Plasma ball. You can still get them.

How much are they? So they're like $40, $50, and then Kmart has them cheaper. But I don't know. I mean, no offense, Kmart, but I'm not trusting your plasma ball to not burn down my house. I'd rather pay $60 and know it's not going to burn my house down, you know? Yeah, right. Filling out your insurance. What happened? Came out plasma ball. Say no more. Number five on the list of the top six things to go down in an adults only night at Motat, doing a vortex in a tank. Oh, okay. Yeah. Get the thing spinning at the bottom. Whomp, back she goes. And all

from the comfort of your tank that may or may not have played any crucial part in any armed conflict. That's part of the transport history of the Museum of Transport. Number four on the list of the top six things to do at an adult's only night at Motat. Sexy times in a steam train. Oh, okay. Just like the old days. Yeah.

Chugga-chugga, chugga chugga, choo choo. Okay. Number three on the list of the top six things to go down an adult's only night at Motat, getting on the pinots in the Pioneer Village. They've got kind of a historic pioneer village there, so brew your own

pinot from the grapes that you've imported from elsewhere in the world and live like a true pioneer. Number two on the list of the top six things to do at an Adults Only Night at Motat are getting tipsy on the tram. Oh, yeah. I always thought that tram would make a nice back and forth, like a restaurant, like if you could have a meal on it. Yeah, okay.

Maybe a few drinks. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things to do at an Adults Only Night at Motat are playing with your thingy in the back of the old TV2 bus. They've got that there. They did last time I went. The bus that was made famous from the TV2

ads. All painted up. And the ghost of thingy can still be heard. Right down the back. That's today's top six. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. As we get into November, holiday season is on the horizon. Americans have to, well, if they can survive the election,

they've got Thanksgiving in a few weeks, which is the start of holiday season for them. Yep. Straight after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Black Friday sales. You've got to survive those too. They'll be in a few weeks. Few people get trampled to death in those each year. Correct. And then it's the downhill slide to Christmas,

New Year's, summer holidays, etc. here in New Zealand. And there's been a study into, if you're in a couple and you're not sure if it's going to work, apparently going to family events, occasions, things

that in this study are referred to as rituals. Yeah. So that would be whether it be like religious holidays or just getting together and doing what you do every year for Christmas. That's a surefire way to find out if your partner's for you or not. If they can handle your crazy family. Well, there's that. If they can handle your crazy family, but then when you meet their family,

if there's anything there that rings alarm bells, it also shows, according to the study, how well they handle conflict with people that they actually know. Right. But you might be still quite sweetly in the honeymoon period. Yeah. You might be like the early stages of a relationship. But once that shine wears off,

are they going to be impossible to deal with? Would you be going along to see their family in those early days, though? I mean, I guess you've got to at some stage. Yeah, Sade and I, when we started seeing, we met each other's families pretty quick. Yeah, right. I had to put her through the Christine filter there.

Mum would meet people, cast an immediate judgment. That's where I get it from. First impressions do count. Yeah. And then from there on, I guess you can advance. But I also don't understand how people stay with. Like if you never see your family, then I can understand how you could be with someone if you don't

get on with their family, if you never see them. But people who are close with their family and you don't like their family, I don't know how people do it. No, that would be... I'm very lucky. Like I make a lot of fun of my father-in-law but he's very easy to get along with. Totally.

But people who don't like their in-laws and just knew it was always going to be the case. I don't know how they do it. Especially when, you know, family's so important to their partner. Yeah. But yeah, make or break this Christmas. So there could be a few Bumble and Tinder and stuff

could be going off Boxing Day. People are like, I can't do this family. I'm out. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, I may refer to the following as a senior moment. That's just what we call them in our family. I don't mean to, I'm not trying to be ageist. Right, okay.

Well, you had a senior moment, so. I know, and I'm not that senior. I know. So, how it goes after the show finishes, I always make my breakfast after the show. Porridge every morning. It's always at the show finishes, I always make my breakfast after the show. Porridge every morning. It's always at the wrong time too. And executive intern Arnie will say,

have you made your breakfast yet? I seek permission. I say, mate, might I now make my porridge, ma'am? And she'll tell me when is okay, when I've got five minutes. So yesterday I, and I always make a coffee at the same time. So I always cut the banana and put it in my porridge once my porridge is cooked.

So yesterday I made my porridge. I put it in the microwave. And when it was in the microwave, autopilot kicks in. I start peeling the banana and I cut half the banana into my coffee. Now, is this like, is the coffee cup full? Or have you not filled it with water yet? So how I make coffee is I go granulated in coffee. And half-meat, and Macona.

Half-meat, and then I put the teaspoon in and fill it with like room temperature or cold water up to where the teaspoon just becomes handle. I cover the spoon. Okay. You've got to. Where most people would put milk, you put cold water. I put cold water up to where the teaspoon just becomes handle. I cover the spoon. Okay. You've got to. Where most people would put milk, you put cold water. Okay.

Up to the top of the part of the spoon that makes the spoon the spoon. It's very important not to burn the granules because this is what people do. That's why people don't like instant coffees because they don't know the artisan way of making a good instant. Artisan. We get absolutely roasted for our instant coffee at work. You know that. Yeah, I know. Yeah, because everyone goes to the shop and buys one. Yeah,

well, joke's on them. Because all I wonder, I'll have a Lamborghini. We're like old mates at the work site that make their own instant coffee. Mate, if I could have a see-through brown art crock glass cup, I would. I wouldn't drink Greg's Red Ribbon though, because we're all better than that.

So the water was up to there and that was the state of the coffee was in when I sliced half a banana into it. So you put half a banana into a cup of coffee? Yeah. I even like caught myself doing it but still did two more cuts. I was like, that's not right, is it?

Cut. No, they're definitely not right. Cut. And then I looked and I had half of a cut banana in my coffee. What is, that's really bad. I know, I don't know. I don't know if my mind had wandered. I don't know what was happening.

It's a bit of an autopilot thing, but that is something like an 80-year-old would do or something. You know? I don't even think my nan, bless her, at 86 years old, Marlene, wouldn't do that. No, hell no. It was a real, like, and I came back and I was like, I just cut a banana into my coffee

and you could still see bits of banana flooding in my coffee because waste not, want not. Yeah. And, yeah, people were like, are you okay? I was like, I don't, I think so. Okay. I think I'm okay. Were you tired?

Always tired. Always tired. What a silly question. Always tired. Were you tired? Always tired. Always tired. What a silly question. Always tired. Yeah, that's... It was a real... It's a little worrying. A mate of mine recently was telling me he got in his car in the garage

and he remembers thinking, better lift the garage door up, but didn't just reverse straight into it. I remember my mum did that once. Yeah. I forgot to open the door. But it was great because we got a brand new, like, flash garage door. Oh, did she absolutely right the door? Oh, yeah.

They were like old wooden glass, like, slide across doors. Yeah. They folded. I mean, looking back, it was probably an insurance job from mum. She has good, good. Hot play. She knew it wasn't going to do any damage to the family's Commodore. No, exactly.

Those things were tanks. Had a tow bar on it too, probably. So that probably went through the door first. It did, yes. Minimalising damage. But it was a real, like, afterwards I was like, are you okay? Am I alright?

What do I do now? Do I just wait until this thing happens again or do I go and get an MRI? It's like people that you hear, they do like the wrong eye drops or they use something else like superglue instead of eye drops or something like that. Just a right mix-up.

A right mix-up. I made a big mistake with my right mix-up at a senior moment. That's better than saying a senior moment. A right mix-up. A right mix-up. Well, it's not ages, is it? No, it's not. But we'd like to know about your right mix-ups this morning.

Yeah. Is this to makeups this morning. Yeah. Is this to make you feel better? Yeah. Because I think I was just in autopilot because I do the same thing every morning. Yeah. And I was, I can't even remember what I was thinking about,

but I was probably thinking about something else. I was distracted. Yeah. And then, yeah, I sliced half a banana into a coffee with cold water and instant. Okay. Well, I'll wait until you're done.

To be honest, then I dragged the banana into the porridge and it gave the whole porridge a bit of a coffee, which was nice. Which is why you were bouncing off the walls. Yeah, yeah.

Extra. So give us a call, 0800-DARZATM. You can text as well, 9696. When did you have a right mix up? Yeah, maybe it was

an autopilot thing. Yeah. You put the wrong thing into the wrong cup. Yeah. You thought you were drinking mouthwash. It wasn't. You walked through a thing into the wrong cup. Yeah. You thought you were drinking mouthwash. It wasn't.

You walked through a door that wasn't open or drove your car through one that wasn't. So we want to know when you've had a right mix up. Maybe it was an, you were just on autopilot. Most of these stories happening in the morning. Yes. That's actually true. A lot of, a lot of tired people on autopilot. You sliced half a banana into your coffee instead of your breakfast.

Instead of my porridge, which was still in the microwave at the time. And I was like, uh-oh. Yeah. But these things happen. Made a right mix-up. I'm not the only one. No. Which is great.

All right, we'll take some calls. Tammy, what was your right mix-up? Oh, so my son had a whole lot of itchy bites on him. We were just leaving for school and he said, can I have some antihistamine? So I was like, yep. Went and grabbed the antihistamine, gave it to him, walked out the door, didn't think anything of it. And my husband gives me a call and says, um, when do you have the next load of antihistamine?

He's still really itchy. I said, nah, he's had it for the day. He said, next message was, he says the label says he can have two. And I said, you're at home, mate. Read the label. And he sends me a picture of the label. And I was like, for goodness sakes, I'm sure you're able to read this. And he goes, the next message that came through is this is what you gave him.

And I'd given him five mils of laxative instead of five mils of antihistamine. Oh, no. Oh, no. Did he have a little accident at school? Well, he says that is that reason probably why he had runny poos and was farting all day. But I tell you what, it took his mind off those itchy bites. It did. Probably true.

Hey, thanks. You're cool, Tammy. Vicky, your dad had a right mix-up. Oh, my God. It was so bad. So we're way on our big fun-o Christmas, like 17 people in the house. Yeah.

New Year's Day, after a few drinks, he picks up my parents' toilet bag. Why my mum packs like this is beyond me. He goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth, comes upstairs dribbling and carrying on because he's brushed his teeth with deep heat. Oh! Dude, that's good stuff.

He was so sick for about two days. Like, honestly. How long was he? Why would you pack that? He was sick for two days? How much brushing did he do with the deep heat? It sounds like he gave it a good... Yeah, he did.

Like, just a normal brush. And then he was just... Honestly. And then I think he must have swallowed as well and it was all bad oh does it come out white

is it clear or is it white deep heat's white it's a white iron oh no oh this new toothpaste has got some kick to it thanks you call Vicky

Grace what was your right mix up I was trying to make cookies for my niece's first birthday and I'd cream the butter and sugar and the stand mixer was on and I cracked the eggs and put the egg onto the bench

and the eggshell in the stand mixer. I've done that! I've done that! Soul destroying. You trapped the wrong thing away. I do that all the time. And I was so stubborn that I picked each little bit of eggshell out

and kept going and then served them because I was not starting to scratch. Oh, wow. Well done to you. There's a lot of butter and sugar in that first one you're trying to get it creamed. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, this is soft. I'm not starting again. Wow.

And you know what? It's just a bit of calcium, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Really? When you think about it. They crushed it up so fine that no one could tell. No one could tell. This is a sandy cake, aren't you?

Hey, Grace, thanks for your call. Some text messages. About your whoopsie daisies, your right mix-ups, your senior moments. I accidentally poured chicken stock on my porridge the other day rather than the almond milk because they're both in cartons and they sit next to each other in the fridge. Oh, no. Would that be be I don't Chicken stock's always a dark

The one we get No it's quite light isn't it It's a No the colour of it When you pour it Oh yeah right I mean it's obviously not milk Yeah

But the carton That it's in I always thought it was quite brownie Okay As a sleep deprived new mum I put cat biscuits In the washing machine Instead of detergent

Shaking the canvas The cat's there It's like Meow You're like what Go away I'm doing the washing machine instead of detergent. Shaking the canvas and the cat's there. It's like, meow. You're like, what? Go away, I'm doing the washing. It's like, meow. You're like, I will get to you once I've finished putting this detergent in. Meow, meow.

I was using, oh, this is an easy mistake to make. I was using, I was making easy mistake to make I was using I was making a chocolate brownie and instead of standard olive oil I put in garlic infused olive oil oh no way to ruin a chocolate brownie but I can understand how it happened

I finished work and I was jumping into the shower but then I realised I needed to go to the toilet so getting undressed I threw my clothes into the toilet and shut the lid thinking it was a washing machine.

Because you're like, I need to use the toilet. Yeah, and there's just that whole... I don't know, it's because you're like, okay, I'm going to shower, shower, shower, shower, shower. I need to use the toilet. I've got to get undressed to get in the shower. And then your brain just takes it from there. It's like, I got this.

Wow. I'll put them in there. I wonder if these are early signs that you're... I don't know. We should take all these people's numbers and check in on them in 50 years. Yeah. To see how it's all going. I was trying to put a blueberry compote on top of my cereal.

However, I ended up at the same time thinking I must feed the cats and I ended up putting Jimbo's meat all over my own cereal because I started thinking about having to feed the cat. My cat's like, meow. Meow. I'm here from the washing machine. You've been with me from earlier. No?

No. Meow. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We'll cross soon to Washington, D.C. for our Fletch, Vaughan and Megan news correspondent podcast. ZM. We'll cross soon to Washington, D.C. for our Fletch, Vaughan and Megan news correspondent, Jack Tame, who we've especially flown over to cover the U.S. election today.

I would personally like to thank him, even before we had him on air, for putting himself in the firing line for our report. He's taken himself to a country where 1,000 people a day are dying of COVID. Yeah. And he's there in the midst of it for us. What a guy.

Just incredibly selfless. What a guy. Now, a couple of days ago, we talked about a study where it said one in three women think their partner is the one. Now, that's only 33%. We were like,

that doesn't seem like much, does it? And we said to ourselves, didn't we? What would it be like? And we pointed it further after the show. We thought this needs further investigation. So we decided to do one of these. It's Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly.

Come on. Fascinating results. Nudge. So this is Polly, Molly on The One. We asked you a series of questions about The One and whether or not your one is the one. You married your one, didn't you? I did. Are you with the one, aren't you?

Mr Bun Buns, is he the one? He is da one. Now of the four you've had this week, Fletch, any of them the one? Excuse me, I've had none this week. Are you okay? Oh my gosh. It is only Wednesday. Oh my god. I know.

That's why I went with four. I thought it was a low number. I feel attacked. Rude. When do you start your week out of interest? Mondays or Sundays? Like on your calendar. Okay, so...

You're getting something thrown at you soon. The one. We asked, do you think your current partner is the one? In that study that we referenced, and we said at the time, it is weird that you would be with someone if they weren't the one, right? And for 33% thought they were with the one. Well, our results are slightly better, but not perfect. 79% of people said, yes, I believe my current partner is the one.

21% of people said, no, they're not the one. And some of the comments were, well, this is confronting. And then that face with open eyes, a slight blushed cheek and a very flat low mouth. But maybe it starts out they are the one and then it just gets too hard

and then rent would double. You know, you'd have to move out maybe. You might have to split a pet. And then before you know it, you're married. Very hard to split them too. You're 65. They always die about halfway then before you know it, you're married. Very hard to split them too. You're 65. They always die about halfway through the splitting.

Yeah. Even surgically. Somebody else said, Never even thought about this, so maybe that answers that. This face with showing all the teeth. So they never even thought about their partner being the one. Oh, come on. It doesn't take a poll on Instagram to make you realise this, does it?

And somebody else said, Honestly, yes, I do think my current partner is the one, but we met so young, I sometimes feel I missed out on just having some fun. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's in it. That's a show, isn't it? Those are those couples that later in life get into swinging and stuff. And they're like going to be together forever.

Yeah, right. They can play around. Amazing. I don't know how they do it. So how soon did you know they were the one? The options were within days, a couple of months, or a year plus, a sliding scale we offered you here. And the average answer was within a couple of months.

Somebody said, I knew from our first date. I had never been so excited to see somebody again. And somebody else said, you definitely have to live together before you know for sure. I've changed my mind on a few guys that I thought were the one until we started cohabitating. And what are you grinning at? Whoopsie. I might have got fetched in trouble. You're very cheeky. Did you stay with someone you knew wasn't the one?

That's what we asked you. 47% of people said yes. I did stay with someone I knew wasn't the one. 53% of you said no. My boyfriend of three years told me I wasn't the one, but he had no intention of three years told me I wasn't the one, but he had no intention of breaking up with me. What?

My dude, what were you thinking? What's going on there? They took the choice out of that situation and they left. Good, good on them. So after three years, they thought they were with the one. Their boyfriend told them they weren't their one, so they decided to break it off. Yeah, good. Did you stay with someone you knew wasn't the one?

Someone said, yeah, it's hard to break it off when you have a big life together. So there you go. There's the admin. Yeah, it's like- Laying in again. And that's your strategy, isn't it, in life? Keep her so bogged down with admin

that even if she gets a better offer, she'll be like, oh, there's so much admin involved in this offer. It's good. It's a good plan. Did you let the one get away? Oh, okay. Maybe looking back.

And remember, you often look back with rose-tinted glasses. There's that nostalgia lens. It's not all, you know, it ended for a reason. But did you let the one get away? 21% of people said yes. 79% said no. Someone said, yes, I let the one get away, but then of people said yes. 79% said no. Someone said, yes, I let the one get away, but then I got him back when the timing was better.

Okay. And someone said, yep, honestly, don't think there was anyone more perfect for me, but I made one mistake and she called it off. See, I can't side with you because I don't know what your one mistake was. Yeah, God, I accidentally slept with someone else. Yeah.

I slept with their best friend. I made one mistake. Yeah, God. And she won't let it go. You have an orgy with all of her mates except for her. Drop it. How many of the one have you had? Now that would define the meaning of the one. Yeah, because you might think you're with the one

and then that ends and you might be one of those people that's constantly with the one. With the one, yeah. But there's a lot of different ones. Well, we gave you options from zero through to over four, and the average answer was one. Okay. Most people have only had the one once. I wonder how many people were filling this out with their partner next to them.

Oh, yeah. Or on the couch, awkward. Or they saw it and they said to their partner, Hi, you should go to Fletcher and Megan's Instagram stories and answer some of those questions Yeah or you link it there I'll help you As someone who's always

The dumpee I think that everyone's The one Sad faces Aww And somebody said I'm not sure I believe In the one

Now I will remind you We're about four questions in So I don't know What they were doing I don't believe in this But I'll answer Your bloody questions. How did you know they weren't the one?

That was, this is our question. We asked right at the end, and we asked you for your response. Somebody said, the actual one came along and dethroned the one that I thought was the one. Oh, okay. I kept finding excuses not to see them. That's when I knew the one wasn't the one. I had to be someone different when I was around them.

That's a surefire sign that they're not the one. I had to be someone different when I was around them. That's a surefire sign that they're not the one. I got the ick and it never went away. What's the ick? The ick. Is that where you're seeing someone and then one thing

annoys you about them and then you can't stop? And then every time, yes. Yeah. That thing, yeah. How did you know they weren't the one? Someone said it was

an absolute gut feeling and I met his family. You were just like, I can't do this every Christmas. You knew the one wasn't the one. Someone said it was an absolute gut feeling and I met his family. You were just like, I can't do this every Christmas. You knew the one wasn't the one. Thanks for all your replies.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. America, the final season. Joining us on the phone live from those United States of America,

our exclusive correspondent, Jack Tame. Hello. You say exclusive. You know I'm the sluttiest correspondent going around. We've been telling everybody that we've sent you over and that it's just nice of us that we've shared you with One News and Mike Hosking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. No, it's my great pleasure to be with you.

I mean, of all the crosses that I'll be doing today, the hours of live broadcasting, this is the one that I'm proudest to be appearing in. Yeah, exactly. This is the emperor. Hey, so what's it like being over there? You're in Washington, D.C. I saw your stories on Instagram at the weekend

of shops being boarded up. I'm seeing a lot of friends in the U.S. all over the country, like plywood being put over storefront windows. Yeah, it's pretty weird, eh? I mean, there's definitely a sense of kind of collective anxiety here. I think people just don't really know what's going to happen. Like in a worst case scenario, regardless of who wins and loses the presidency,

there is kind of the potential for civil unrest and the potential for violence in America. Like, I saw something the other day that said eight out of the top ten busiest days for gun background checks in America have been this year. Eight out of the top ten weeks, right? And then, like, you've seen all those riots

and protests and stuff. Overnight, they've put around a massive fence around the outside of the White House to stop a massive fence around the outside of the White House to stop any protesters from scaling the grounds of the White House and trying to attack the building itself. So, yeah, there's definitely like a bit of a sense of anxiety. But the truth is just no one really knows

what's going to happen. Well, it's nice to see Trump got at least one wall built in his presidency. After the promises of the last one. So TV One coverage starts this afternoon, 4 o'clock. A lot of the news outlets will start coverage, I guess, this morning and midday. We're not actually going to know, though, for a while, are we?

It could take a long time for us to find the actual result, couldn't it? There is a chance, like a very good chance, that we won't know who the winner is today. There are just all sorts of different scenarios, though. See, the problem is that they've had, well, not problem, it's a good thing, that they've had 100 million people vote early this year. That's partially because of COVID, but it's also just because, you know, people either love or hate Donald Trump and no one's really sitting at home on their hands in

this election. So in some states, they can count those early votes before Election Day. So say in Florida, for example, they've already counted millions of votes. But in other states, they have to wait. And the thing with mail-in ballots is they take a bit longer to count than normal on-the-day ballots. So in some states, we might not get definitive results tonight. But in other states like Florida, we could get results quite early. And I'll tell you what, guys, just so you sound like pros when you're watching it, when the numbers come in in Florida this afternoon,

that'll be one of the first states to return them. If Joe Biden wins Florida, honestly, he's 97% of the way to winning the presidency. If he won that, that would be so significant that actually we might get a result tonight. Wow. Because I know from previous US elections, Florida's one of those key states, isn't it? Yeah, Florida, the likes of

Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, they're called battleground states. So about a third of the states in America automatically go to the Democrats. A third of the states automatically go to the Republicans. And it's those other states, that final third, that kind of decides things. Florida

is a really big state as well, so under the crazy electoral college system here, you've got to remember the popular vote isn't as important as the electoral college. Florida is super important. So yeah, I mean at the moment the polls in Florida are pretty close. Donald Trump could absolutely

win it, but there are also a lot of people in Florida who are nervous about COVID-19 and who maybe don't think that Donald Trump's done the best job with handling it. And so, yeah. A lot of old people as well. A lot of older residents in Florida who are scared of the virus. Yeah, a lot of oldies in Florida. The snow people. Yeah, yeah.

But some of them love him, eh? Even, you know, like he's not wearing a mask. He's flying around the country, 100,000 people a day getting COVID, all good. I know, haven't they linked about 700 deaths to his rallies alone? Oh, right. Well, yeah, yeah.

Some people believe that, I mean, you know, like, yes, there is a study that says 700 deaths have been linked to his things. The one I always find amazing is this guy called Herman Cain went to a Donald Trump rally, got COVID and died. And Herman Cain was, eight years ago, he was the Republican frontrunner to run for president against Barack Obama for a short period. So he's like a very senior Republican, went to Donald Trump's rally, got COVID and died. And a thousand people a day in America dying. It must just be insane being there.

Well, Jack Tame, we'll let you get back to what will be a very busy day for you. We'll catch up with you tomorrow and see if you're wearing your riot mask and shield and gas mask. Yeah, yeah, thanks, man. Do you have a bulletproof vest? Do you have the TVNZ bulletproof? No, I think Cameron Bennett took all those. We don't have those anymore. Bloody Cameron Bennett.

Bloody Cameron Bennett. That was an exceverance package. They're like, get out of here. You can have your flak jacks. Wow, all right. Jack Tame in Washington, D.C. Thanks so much, mate. Last night, well, at the moment, we do this every year. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast ZM. Last night,

at the moment we're doing, we do this every year and the lead up to Christmas there's a big clean out of like stuff. Toys. Toys and stuff that the girls maybe have outgrown but are still in good enough condition and we donate them. I don't want to go about what a hero I am but we can touch on it briefly.

I'll just stop you there. Stop going on about your charity. Thank, thank you. Thank you for stopping me because I could go all day. So where do you take these manky secondhand toys to? You're so charitable. Oh, God. You're all those like dribbled on toys. Manky ones get recycled.

Oh, yeah. Or you can't take soft toys, which is totally fair enough because they're gross, especially in the current climate. You don't want someone's manky COVID-covered teddy bear, do you? Yeah. But no, we just have a clean out and it's all the toys that maybe the girls have outgrown and stuff.

Oh, that's cool though. And so the clean out happened and it's just a general clean up as well. Right. Of all the different spots and stuff. And then the girls were going to bed and Indy was like, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat,

as she does at bedtime. Like anybody did, to try to delay having to go to bed. Yeah. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And at bedtime. Like anybody did, try to delay having to go to bed. Yeah. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And you'll remember for my birthday, was it this year? I got the F45 lesson and some crystals. 2018, I believe.

No, it wasn't. 2018. Yeah, it was. It was. Are you having another senior moment? It's 2020. It was 2018 when I got the crystals. Yeah, you got it for your birthday, big crystals.

2018. So in a few months, it'll be three years. You all right? Time flies, doesn't it? They must have been discovered. Okay. The crystals that I was given. And blah, blah, blah.

And Indy said, oh, yeah. And look what mum found today when we were like having the clean out. Crystals. And she's like, this is my favourite and held up the pink one, the rose quartzy one.

I was like, ooh, magical. Okay, go to bed. And she was like, dad, stop. Don't be stupid. They're pretty and nothing more.

This is your proud moment. ooh, magical. Like, just shush. Because I said, oh, magical. Like, just shush. Dad, stop. Don't be stupid. They're pretty and nothing more. Wow, she's your daughter. I was like, oh, God.

I'm so proud. And it was a very proud moment. I bet it was. Yeah, and then they were like, why do people think they do magical things? I was like, enough, enough. I know exactly what's happening here. You're baiting me because you know I can give you a good 10 minutes on this. You're baiting me

and just go to bed and I want to talk about it. Don't make me take the crystal away. Plus, it was a full moon two days ago and you've totally missed the charge this cycle. That's on you. That's absolutely on you. That was my proud moment. Yeah, being told. Well, you've been very outspoken about crystals for years.

That's why you got those rubbing off. By the way, you did get those in 2019. We've just had a checkoken about crystals for years. Yeah. That's why you got them scrubbing off. By the way, you did get those in 2019. We've just had a check there. I knew it wasn't 2019 even though it's a long time. Yeah. I thought it was this year. What did I get this year? Oh, don't take your headphones off like you've skipped out on getting me a present.

What? You cried. That's not a present. Yeah. It was a gift of emotion. It was a lovely message, wasn't it, from my father. That was nice, actually. Yeah. It was a gift of emotion. It was a lovely message, wasn't it, from my father. That was nice, actually. But still.

Yeah, you're welcome. Next year, just a present. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Still reeling behind the scenes at these crappy $2 Frisbees are the official Frisbees that they use in Frisbee championships. I thought they would have used those rings. Producer Jared behind the scenes, dark horse producer Jared who plays Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, I made a joke about how with Megan away,

today's show could just be a three-hour Dungeons and Dragons game and he brought in the whole player's handbook and his game play, his game master. He just pipes up. He's like, oh, yeah, I used to be a Frisbee champion. No, he played ultimate Frisbee champion. Oh, but you weren't a champion? Well, I don't know.

I don't think you were a champion. Did you win anything? Never at a professional level. Just hobbies. You're telling me these crappy Frisbees you get for $2 are good. Yeah. Why do mine always go wonky? I guess you've got a limp wrist.

It's a technique. Limp wrist. There's one thing we need in question is wrist strength. Iron wrist, they call it. I had no idea we had a Frisbee champion in our midst. I'm not a champion. I'm just an enthusiast. What about those rings that you threw that were like a Frisbee

except they were a semi-cylinder thing and you threw them and they'd go up? Oh, yeah, I remember those. What happened to those? Was that the Go Long Tomo ad? Dougie Howlett? I'm going back now to some rugby players advertising things that you throw.

I wasn't born then. Oh no, you're a Xeniel. I'm a boomer. I remember the toys of our ancestors. Okay, well, while we're talking about Ultimate Frisbee and also our producer Jared, he's the member of the show that we'd like to deal with. Ha ha ha ha! Doesn't know what we're talking about. So, this is also our producer, Jared. He's the member of the show that we'd like to deal with. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Doesn't know what we're talking about. So, this is in the No Jared chat. Oh, no. Which is blowing up. Now, you went on a date.

Oh, yeah. Yep. Last week. And it went well? It went very well, yeah. And now, has there been another date since? Um,

she came to my party. She came to the party. Yeah. She met your friends. Now, is this the girl from Radio Tinder that we set you up with? No. You went on one date with her though, eh?

No, we didn't. You were hungover. No, we were hungover. So that still hasn't happened? No. It's not going to happen now. Oh. Well, I'm not saying exclusivity, but like you'd be a fool to say, what are you looking at?

Don't look at my screen. Oh, no. Well, this was spotted yesterday by Private Eye Henvest. Thank you. What's going on her? If you get tagged in anything on Facebook, Henvest, producer

Executive Internania, she always spots it. She's like, who's this person? Always lurking. Always having a stalk. Absolutely she is. Yeah, I like to check in and say like yeah, who's this new friend? Fletch? Who's this? Yeah. So yesterday Ladbible posted a story

that said UK's first vegan butcher completely sells out on first day. Customers couldn't get enough of the bacon and lobster which are like the vegan equivalents of these meats. And our producer, Jared, tagged in, said,

date, better luck next time, champ. Now, she's a vegetarian, right? Yeah, she's a vegetarian. She's a vegetarian. So you tagged her in this story about vegans. Topical vegetarian chat. Yeah, bit of banter, bit of chat. It was the fact that you called her champ that made us all go, is he at the champ stage?

Do you know for a, does she mind being called champ? Some people hate being called champ. That was the first time I'd forayed into calling her champ. Wow, okay. I wouldn't have thought that's for a, that's more of a, something an old mate says to their grandson, isn't it? Or something like that. All right, champ. Or you say it to your mates when you're trying to knock them down. Condescending.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to be condescending. It's something I reserve for my close circle of friends. I've called Anna kiddo and champ and buckaroo. Buckaroo. She loves all of these. Yeah. She loves all of these.

It's so endearing as a young woman. Yeah. It's empowering, isn't it? To be called sweetheart. And I do it to my outside of work mates to be the alpha male. Yes, to establish. But this is just...

Champ. It's just cute stuff. Is it too early for champ? I thought it would be too early for like other things. I thought champ was a good... Mate, well, you didn't drop a babe. No, I wouldn't drop a babe. Too soon for a babe.

Better luck next time, babe. Yeah, nah, too early for a babe. And she didn't say anything. She's like, well, maybe don't say that. No, no, no. She didn't comment on the Champ. I think she did reply. She said something about, yeah, bugger, she missed out

because she used to live over there as well. Oh, right. So she wasn't like, yeah, no luck for me, sweetheart. No. No luck here, chief. Slugger. Better luck next time. Yeah, thanks, pal.

We would like to know off the back of, he went in early with Champ, and maybe that's the key to establishing a chummy nickname for you and your partner. We were wanting to establish a list, a definitive list of non-name nicknames like these sorts of titles,

your champs, your chiefs, your captains. The girls hate being called because I know Megan. She was here today. The champ one. She's been called champ. Oh, she hates it. And we say it to her just to rile her up.

And she always says to me, stop calling your wife mate. Because I call Sade mate all the time. Yeah, you do. G'day, mate. And she's like, who was that on the phone? I was like, it was Sade. She's like, stop referring to her as mate. That's your wife.

I'm like, yeah, but she's my best mate. Executive Anja and Tananya, you don't like any of these terms at all, do you? I can't stand them. Which is your worst? What's your worst? Does Mr Bun Buns ever? Oh, he would dare. He'd know better.

Nah. Really? But there's people around. He just calls you ma'am, doesn't he? He's too scared to. Yes, ma'am. Pretty much, yeah. That's how we like it.

Nah, people around here often say Bud. That drives me nuts. Yeah. So if a boyfriend calls his girlfriend Bud, you hate that? Just anywhere. Like work, friends. If anyone calls me Bud, I'm like... What about when I say, hi, Hon?

Or could you describe that Hon? You don't mind that, do you? I love it. Hon, it's been interesting watching the transition of Hon. Hon was a full-blown term of endearment. And then people who didn't like Hon started using it ironically, sort of sarcastically calling people Hon. And now

it's the most passive-aggressive thing one woman can call another. Oh, hey, Hon. Like, ooh, it cuts through. It really does. You alright? I think I've got a mandarin bubble in the back of my throat There we go, we're good That was weird

Was it a bit of piff? No, I think it was just a bit of mandarin juice in the back of the throat Oh, right That made it sound like I was underwater Okay Just momentarily there Okay My apologies

You sounded like you were underwater We're talking about those nicknames that your partner calls you Okay, my apologies. You sound like you're under water. We're talking about those nicknames that your partner calls you that you do not like. Or we're just putting together a list of nicknames for single dudes going forward that aren't going to do them any favours. No, producer Jared dropped a champ on a Facebook comment to a girl that he's been on a couple of dates with. A champ? I mean, she may have found it endearing. Maybe she likes being called champ. Some people might like that.

We just thought it was an unusual move after a week. So, what are some of those names that you hate? Ashley. Sorry, Sarah. Oh, hi. Hi, Sarah. What's the name you get called that you hate? Babes.

Babes. Babes. Oh, you hate it. No, not babes, but babes. Babes. Yeah, Sarah. What's the name you get called that you hate? Babes. Babes. Babes. Oh, you hate it. No, not babe, but babes. Babes, yeah, yeah. We're pluralising the babe. Yeah, from like a girl that is not my friend. Like my friend would never call me that,

but when a random girl comes up to you and you're like, oh, you write babes? I'm like, ew, it just makes me cringe. I'm like, ew, you don't know me. Still calling me babes. The worst is when you like call someone babes, but then you forget the S and you end up calling them babe, which is a completely different meaning. Yeah.

What if a gay man was saying it to you? Is that still acceptable? So I feel they can get away with that. No. I mean, my name's Sarah. Like, I don't know. Just hi, Sarah. Just too familiar.

It's very formal, though, Sarah. Yeah. We're just trying to break the ice. It's very formal though, Sarah. Yeah. We're just trying to break the ice. Yeah, that's true. Okay. All right, Sarah, thanks for your call. Ashley, what's the name that you hate? Hi, I hate when my boyfriend calls me the missus.

I just check what the missus is up to. Yeah, I don't think I've ever called Charlie the missus unless it was like full-blown joke. And it wasn't in front of you? In front of her? I don't even know if I refer to her as the Mrs. No, you sometimes say the Middy. I have never said the Middy.

All the time you say that. I've never said the Middy. All the time. Thanks, Ashley. Kelsey, what's the nickname that you hate? One of my guy friends used to call me homie all the time. Thanks, Ashley. Kelsey, what's the nickname that you hate? One of my guy friends used to call me homie all the time. He still does. I can't stand it. Homie?

Why don't homie? Have you ever said anything to him? I usually just sarcastically get back at him with a home slice or a G. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Subject. Okay, all right. We'll add that to the list. Thanks, Kelsey.

Some text messages in. My husband calls me sugar. Oh, yeah. Drives me nuts. Oh, why don't you just say don't call me sugar? She does. She said there's been, threatens to be smacked in his manhood as well.

That's a problem if you react to a nickname. I hate being referred to as the miso. I haven't heard the miso. No. I haven't heard the Miss O. No, I haven't heard that either. Anonymous, what's the nickname that you get? So my partner calls me Munchkin. How does that go down? Not well.

Not well. Not well at all. Are you little? Sorry. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get to the root of the nickname. I don't know. Are you little? Sorry. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get to the root of the nickname. I don't know.

I didn't imagine. Yeah, no. There's no root cause. It's just munchkin, and I hate it. Oh, munchies. Munchies. It's even cute, though, isn't it? Okay, but if you don't like it, I can totally see why not.

Fair enough. Thank you, Anonymous. My text message is in. I would say this would be the most common. Their boyfriend or partner calls them bro. I get called bro by my boyfriend. Bro. I hated it.

I made reference to it, and then I got called the ball and chain. Wish I could go back to bro. And that's a lot of people are saying bro. They just hate us. Bro. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What else is sticking out?

My kids call me bro. I'm their mum. Bro, can I have some extra chocolate? Hey bro, what's for dinner? I have been called Cobber but I also can't stand Hun. This week I got Dairy. I'm not a fan of any of them.

Not a fan at any of them. Somebody said chick. I hate being called chick. Do I look like I hatched out an egg? That's what my mum would say if you called her chick. Hey, chick. Tootsie. Oh, yeah, it's not that one.

That's not a good one I don't know Tootsie Darling I get called darling By the old boys at work I was like I don't like that And so they started

Calling me good girl Which is even worse It sounds so creepy All of those Like in the workplace You're just like I know My husband called me bro

So I called him petal Oh okay Stopped bro in its tracks Pretty Pretty bloody smartly. Love. Love. Somebody said love is worse than hun

because you could say, are you sure about that, hun? Whereas, are you sure about that, love? Far more condescending. Far more condescending. Way more. All right. 826, we'll add that to the list.

Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Really missing Megan there? Oh, I didn't think so, but fine. Sure. Today's fact of the day is about the kookaburra. Oh, yeah.

The Australian bird. It looks a little bit like a kingfisher that didn't get all the cool colours. Yep. And it's also a brand of cricket and hockey gear. It is, actually. Yes. It is. A great brand. Is that all they do? Cricket and hockey? Kookaburra? I think so. And they've never branched out

to try the other... Didn't you... Weren't you looking for a hockey coach sponsorship from them? Well, they actually messaged me about, yeah, joining the Kookaburra coaching elite. But they would have had to get rid of, like, a top-tier player like Marty Guptill. I don't think they were ready to do that, were they?

No, they did. They cut him. I don't think they did. They cut him, but then COVID cancelled the hockey season. Right, okay. So my coaching days were ripped from under me. Okay, maybe 21 season. Yeah, next season I could be back, baby.

Okay. Well, anyway, the kookaburra fact I have for you, isn't it a light-hearted hockey or cricket kookaburra fact? Okay. It's that kookaburras are born cold hard killers. Okay. So kookaburras generally lay three eggs at once at different times

and the third one's always a little bit smaller. Now they hatch at different times given the first bird to hatch advantage in the nest. Okay. Because one thing they're born with that disappears before they leave the nest is a hook on the end of their beak

that people who have studied the kookaburra can say the best use of the hook, the only use they can see in the nest, is to kill their siblings with it. What? So three eggs are laid. Generally, only one or two survive. They all might hatch. But then the youngest bird will be killed by its siblings.

With the hook on its beak. The minute it comes out of the egg, if the mum and dad are away looking for food or if there's any shortage of food, they'll straight up thug kill the youngest sibling. If this was real life, you might not have survived to fill up. I was the oldest. Yeah, you'd be around. I'd still be around. You would have

hook-baked your brother. You'd be dead. Yeah, I'd be dead. You'd still be around. You would have hook-beaked your brother. You'd be dead. Yeah, I'd be dead. You'd be hook-beaked. Yep. Hook-beaked. Well, there's three in my family though so presumably we would have hook-beaked my sister first. Yeah, Michelle. And then that would have been a good battle. Yeah. I reckon you could have taken

Phillip though. Well, I was bigger than him. Birth weight. I had a larger birth weight. That was because of your head though, wasn't it? It was a big head. But then big head equals big hook beak. So you'd probably be alpha. I think I would be alpha. I'll be alpha kookaburra in the nest. But it gets worse because if the

mum, from their studies, if the mum came back and the youngest kookaburra was dead, the mum would eat it. To have something to regurgitate, to feed. Yeah, but you know what mums are like. They're like, no, put the leftovers in the fridge. We can't waste that. Oh, you've killed your little brother, have you? Well, put them in the fridge.

Guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow. But you said we'd have tanker ways. No, but I didn't find a lizard when I was out flying, could I? To eat, semi-digest and then regurgitate into your waiting mouth. So we'll be having that for dinner tomorrow. And don't think they'll be putting. Because that's the other thing. Why isn't the mum, is the mum not feeding them?

Apparently they go out looking for it, but in times of, like they might be gone for a little bit too long. And then they're just like, oh, yeah, might just have to eat the younger sibling. Yeah. And apparently they're the only bird that's got it. Okay. Yeah, the old hooked beak.

Ruthless. For the ruthless upbringing the old hooked beak. Ruthless. For the ruthless upbringing of a kookaburra. So next time you hear it laughing, it's not like a casual, ha, ha, ha, I'm a kookaburra, here I am having a laugh. It's laughing because it killed its siblings. Goodness me. It's an evil laugh. It's not a happy laugh.

So today's fact of the day is kookaburras are cold, hard killers. Straight from the moment they were hatched out of their egg. Fact of the day, dayughan and Megan, the podcast. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. 50 days, 15 hours and 16 minutes until Christmas. This is our segment where we look at the Christmas penetration.

And over the years, we've done this for many years. I'd say this year because of COVID, it just doesn't feel as... Slowest. It's the slowest. Normally we'd be getting near max penetration. We would be. But I know that a lot of stores and retailers are having trouble importing stock. It doesn't mean it's not coming

or that it's not in stores already, but I think just people have got other things on their plate. Yeah, they do. It's not as... It's there, it's not in stores already, but I think just people have got other things on their plate. Yeah, they do. It's there, it's just not as there. Yeah. There's not as much. Is your Facebook running super slow? Is it because it's trying to filter all the lies happening with the US election on the fly?

Because I'm trying to open up the inbox. I've got an audio presentation to make. No, mine. But I can't make it. What about the Fletch for an Omega inbox? Oh, hold on. No, mine. But I can't make it. What about the Fletchford and Megan The Fletchford and Megan inbox. Oh, hold on. Here we go. Now it's thinking.

Okay, we'll do the others and we'll come back to this because we've got an audiovisual presentation Okay. to make from Earl who's just also,

by the way, reached platinum level status for the pyramid scheme that I'm starting. It's a Christmassy pyramid scheme. Just hang it at the's a Christmassy pyramid scheme. Just hang it at the grand level. If he keeps...

Yep. Okay, good. What he doesn't know is it's only a rental for six months and he's got to pay ongoing costs. So, this one in from Wilson who was at the Wellington train station

and did one of those things where they tried to take a sneaky photo but he ended up just taking a terrible one instead. Oh, yep. So, Simi had to explain their Christmas penetration because it was outside the Wellington train station

that there was a cookie time cookie kiosk. Ooh. Selling the cookies. We haven't had them come here yet, eh? Have they been into work? No, I don't think so. And asked the order of the buckets? Not yet.

Because I'll have one of each. Because I love the apricot. No, see, the apricot's the yuckest. I don't need apricot in a biscuit. Yeah, it's yum. It adds a little something different to a biscuit. And then you mix them up and you're like, it's like playing roulette. What are you going to get?

While we're on that, Air New Zealand need to get off the oat ones that they've got at the moment. I love an oat and raisin biscuit. Get some chocolate chip in time for Christmas when we're all going home. What are they on an oat and raisin? Oat? Oat? No, just oat. They're on an oat buzz.

No raisin. I mean, I know we're in a recession, but come on, get some chocolate in there. I think in New Zealand, we'll just have planes in there, to be honest. You should shut up and not be too fussy about your biscuits. Yeah, fair call, fair call that. So yeah, Wilson spotted the cookie time chaos

at the Wellington train station. Good placement too. Yeah, lots of people. You might have 20 minutes to kill before you train. And just heading home, and you're just feeling a bit low, like you're at feeling a bit low, like you're at a weak point after a big day of work.

Well, that's the thing. I reckon from the central station to, say, Johnson, I reckon I could do half a bucket. I could absolutely polish off. Absolutely. Absolutely polish off the biscuit. Thanks to Danielle, who has sent a photo in from Hauora, the pack and save.

Christmas penetration, it literally says, have a yummy Christmas. And there's Christmas mince tarts, Christmas pies. It's got its own specialty store. I believe I also see, if I'm wrong, brandy snaps. You know who loves a brandy snap? Bev at Christmas. My mum. You know who loves a brandy snap?

Christine. Boomers. Yeah, boomers love it, eh? Boomers love a brandy snap. And that's probably like at least half an hour of Christmas Day is getting the cream into the brandy snap. Into the brandy snap with the piping bag. Here's my problem with the brandy snap. Yeah.

Boom! Yeah, I know. And cream's everywhere. Structural integrity of a brandy snap is terrible. Yeah, and then when it finally softens in the mouth, it just turns into a gum, and then it gets stuck in all your teeth. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'd eat a brandy snap if terrible. Yeah, and then when it finally softens in the mouth, it just turns into a gum, and then it gets stuck in all your teeth. I mean, don't get me wrong.

I'd eat a brandy snap if there was nothing else, but... Okay, yeah. It's not your go-to. Joshua's reporting in from overseas. Good day to you all. Hope you're all well. Got a bit of a Christmas penetration for you. We went down for a lockdown walk in Cardiff today,

and they were busy putting up the Christmas lights, the flat-packed Christmas market stalls, and best of all, the massive German sausage barbecue that we always have for Christmas here in Cardiff. Oh, good. Fingers crossed, Joshua, that you are nothing like a bratwurst. Yeah. Nothing like a big German sausage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Than a sizzler. Ugh. Ugh. Real meat. Yeah. Real German meat at a German-style Christmas festival. Well, I hope lockdown goes well for you and everybody else.

And finally, here's the visual presentation from Earl. The audio visual. Okay. That sound up. Headphones plugged in. Video unmuted. Here we go. Hey, everyone.

I'm just in the storeroom of where I work. I don't know if you can hear this. I'll just put it up. Hey, Vaughan. I'm just in the storeroom of where I work. I don't know if you can hear this. I'll just put it up. Oh, no. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. That's Felice Navidad playing in the background of Maya. There you go.

Yeah, department store there. That's full-blown Fel Feliz Navidad, worth itself. Yeah. A public spotting worth a few percentage points. So with all that in mind... Hey, Siri, get me directions to Alterua. Christmas penetration is at... 75%, baby!

Woo! It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, they got announced yesterday, the TV Personality of the Year nominees for 2020. And we have on the phone joining us, last year's winner of TV Personality of the Year, Matthew Patricia McLean.

Good morning to you. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. You know I hate a fuss being made about me. Honestly, I'd completely forgotten that I'd even won the thing. Someone said almost allergic to a fuss.

That's true. But breakout and hives, I hate it. I hate it. Right, now previous winners of this award include Tony Street, Hayley Holt, and yourself, Matty. Now, this year, you're not nominated. No. I don't know.

Can you get nominated twice in a row? I don't know. Well, no. You haven't been nominated, so you just say it's actually against the rules to be nominated twice in a row. There you go. Even if it's not, that's what you say.

It's like Miss Universe, I think. Like, you can't win that title. Exactly. You can't hand yourself the crown. No. I mean, you would if you could, though, wouldn't you? Oh, my God. Now, this year, amongst all the, you know, there's Hilary Barry's in there.

I mean, she should win. But there's also an unlikely nominee, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. I know. What a world we're living in. That the Director General of Health can be nominated for TV Personality of the Year. I mean, just from what he said in, like, he did the Mental Health Podcast and he's spoken about anxiety about doing this kind of stuff. I couldn't imagine.

Somebody signed on for it. I couldn't imagine him even want a fuss made like yourself. No, much like myself. I know. Would he even turn up to the awards? I'm honestly not sure. It would be so strange to see him there. If he did, there'd best be a QR code so he can check in on the cover.

Yeah, exactly. But I have to hand over the crown on the night, so I present the award. Oh, wow. So if he wins, I'm passing him the sash and the tiara and all of that. I've actually been to Matty McLean's apartment and seen you've got a cabinet, don't you, with your tiara in it? It's not a cabinet.

It's a glass display case. It's a glass display case. But looking at the other people on the list, just using an example, Kim Crossman's nominated as well for her work on the project, Golden Boy, Survive the 80s. So that's three different shows, three very different shows on different networks. But then I was thinking Ashley Bloomfield literally was everywhere. He was on every channel, every news streaming service,

every day at those one o'clock updates. So he's omnipresent. He is. Well, do people vote, Matty? Because that's how you won, isn't it? Didn't you just get everyone on Instagram to vote for you? No, how dare you? Didn't you grovel?

Didn't you grovel? Actually Instagram to vote for you? No, how dare you? Didn't you grovel? Didn't you grovel? Actually, you promised to, you promised topless pictures. And I voted and I never got the topless pictures. All you need to do is ask when you know this, and I'll send, happily send them. See, I know I'm worried about where it stops, though. I'm worried, you know, when you wish for something, but then you get too much.

Better to keep the mystery. Care for what you wish for something but then you get too much. It's better to keep the mystery. Careful what you wish for. Yeah, exactly. Do you know how to vote? Because I don't know how to vote. I haven't read this article. There's a website. I couldn't tell you what it is.

Just nztvawards.co.nz or something. I've got 30 seconds to get back in the studio. I've got to go. Go do the weather. I've got to go. I've got to go. Bye. Thanks, Matty. Bye. One minute away from nine.

He's in trouble now. He's in trouble. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.