ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 5th August 2020

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

Someone in Timaru has a complaint.  When did you hook up with someone because they had an accent?  We caught up with Jase & PJ in Melbourne  Am I a Bad Person?  Ex Ellen Producer Hedda Muskatt  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast brought to you by McCafe. Get a barista made, a delicious barista made coffee for only $4. I tried to do it from memory today and I panicked. Why did you panic? I don't know, I just panicked. It's very easy. Now we, this will be a quick podcast intro because we have a meeting. I mean we're late for the meeting, it started two minutes ago.

Megan's doing poos. Yep. She's in the bathroom. She needs to do a pre-meeting poos. Yeah. Either that or she went for vodka. She did say, I'm going to need vodka for this. A bottle of vodka for this meeting.

We're getting the wrap up. Apparently, the Skype call's joined. Oh, gosh. I'm very sorry about this. We're zooming into Australia, I think, next. Yeah. But have a fantastic day and enjoy the podcast. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Four minutes past six. What are you singing? I was singing along to this tune. Coming up on the show today after... What's that? I was just joining in the singing. She was singing. I thought I'd get in on it. Okay. Coming up on the show today after... What's that? Dun, dun, dun. I was just joining in the singing.

She was singing. I thought I'd get in on it. Okay. Joining us on the show this morning, just before 8 o'clock, we have managed to track down one of Alan's old producers. This is the one that I mentioned in the latest yesterday, Heta Muscat. She was one of the producers that started the show in 2003, and she's been quite open, put her name to it.

She hasn't held back at all about what it's like to actually work on the Ellen Show. And what Ellen's like. Yeah, I don't think you want to miss this. You don't want to miss this. Just before 8 o'clock this morning. Coming up, the top six.

Yeah, retirement hotspots. Theseirement hotspots. These retirement hotspots that are like the places to be now. Okay. When it comes to our retirement, they're going to be too expensive. It's true. So I'm putting forward six retirement hotspots for 2060. Okay. Yeah.

Looking ahead. Yeah. Because the market would have changed so much by then. Oh, drastically changed. Yeah. And like sea levels. You bet. Like the Mount's probably would have changed so much by then. Oh, drastically changed. Yeah. And like sea levels. You bet. Like the Mount's probably going to be underwater by 2060.

I wouldn't retire there unless you're a swimmer. Okay. And don't mind wet feet. I've got the top six hot spots. All right, that's coming up. And want to talk about a woman next who is very upset after something got cancelled. She's been in quarantine in Auckland but she has a bone to pick.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. A woman has been left in tears after she's been doing managed isolation in Auckland at the Grand Millennium Hotel. So she was very upset and she got this message through her daily food bag. She got a wee message

on her food bag. Show my food bag in there. That... Hashtag spawn. Telling her that her yoga had been banned. So at this hotel, they were doing group yoga classes in the ballroom. Now it was... She should be doing group yoga in isolation.

Yeah. With other potential... They were observing social distancing. Mats were spread across the floor and attendance numbers were capped. Still, though. But you can see why they've decided not to do that, right? Yeah. I'm amazed it went for this long.

Yeah. And they said it was, you know, like sweat related. Right. Because people were sweating and... Yeah. Well, if you ain't sweating, you ain't doing it right, girl. But she was left in tears and she's saying it's not good. It's not

good for people's wellness and it's making people sick. She did opt... That'd be COVID-19 that's making people sick. She did then opt for, she's got her own yoga mat and she used an app in her room. I was going to say, just do it in your room. Yeah.

Everybody that's coming back to New Zealand is sorting out these rules, alright? Don't think you're above it. She was like, well, it is important to be with people. It's really nice to socialise with people and we need that social connection. No, not for 14 days it's not. Yeah, I would have thought that was exactly what we don't want.

These stories really trigger us all, don't they? Here's the problem with this person, because they've made their account private, but somebody I know screencapped it and put it on their Insta stories yesterday. The hashtags, Plandemic 2020. Oh, okay.

Another hashtag, Are You Awake Yet? Ministry of Mistreatment, Police State. These are all hashtags. Oh, okay. She's one of those. Rights Abused, Human Rights. Police state. These are all hashtags. Oh, okay. She's one of those. Rights abused. Human rights. Like.

Come on, man. It's two weeks. Yeah. It's two weeks. I get it's hard. In a hotel. We all did six, didn't we? And then in another post claimed that online trolls were actually being paid by the people behind the plandemic.

Oh, okay. To troll her account because she'd discovered the truth. She did make it private because she was getting trolled, and I can imagine some of the things probably weren't nice. Yeah. That's not fair. But also, come on, man. She tried to sit in the hotel lobby in another one,

but they were asked not to sit in the hotel lobby because it was a communal space, and that's not where. Yeah. Like, what is wrong with her? But this is the sort of person that was also like... The free food that was given was one of, quote, the worst, most unhealthy lunch I've ever seen. She is quite health conscious.

Well, then get on Uber Eats. Get on Uber Eats then. Uber Eats. You're getting free food versus food that you would have to be paying for if you were at a house. And can you imagine having to work around everyone's dietary requirements? Oh yeah. Oh God, this is one of those stories that they know that they're going to get a reaction, eh? The news media.

They know when they post it on Facebook it's going to have a thousand comments. Yeah. Yeah. I think it had a thousand comments before they posted on it because it started just getting talked about on socials that it was happening. Quarter past six. Starting the show with a couple of Karens this morning.

Oh, we've got a Timaru-based Karen next to discuss who it's not enough for this person to say, oh, I won't be taking my family. They don't think anybody's family should be going to this event. I love it when Karen speak for everyone. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. He went for a run yesterday in Rome.

And it made world news. And rightfully so. And rightfully so, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. What's wrong? I know what you're going to say. Or go for a run every day.

No, no, no. You were going to say if that was a female running around in short shorts and it made world news, we'd all be pervs. Yeah. I wasn't going to say that, but you've raised a very good point. I was going to say that you guys are always like, oh, chicken legs, smithy. But why, Harry Styles, very chickeny.

Very chickeny legs. No, not as chicken legs as yours. No, I'm not going to say that. Say it. His chicken legs kind of go with his whole slender body. Yeah, right. He's not top heavy. I'm not saying you're top heavy.

Okay, bitch, shut up. You've said enough. You're not going to be able to dig your way out of this one. I'm not saying you're top heavy. Yeah. Do you shut up. You've said enough. You're not going to be able to dig your way out of this one. I'm not saying you're top heavy. Yeah. Do you think it was his running shorts? Because he had actual running... He had old 1980s PE teacher.

There was a lot of chat on the inches of those shorts. Five inches, but with the slit up the side made them seem shorter? Yeah. Have I gone too deep? You've really investigated, is all I'll say. I was just part of an online enthusiast yesterday. Proper running shorts, yet the shoes didn't look like proper running shoes. They didn't.

They looked like an active wear shoe. Yeah. Interesting. He goes for one run and gets so heavily dissected. We go to Timaru now. Yes. Timaru? Timaru. Well, it's hotly debated if Yes. Timaru? Timaru.

Well, it's hotly debated if it's Timaru or Timaru. Timaru. Timaru. Because the word Timaru, how it's spelled is an English word, but it's a take on the original Māori place. Oh, okay. But two different takes on that one. I learned that when I hit someone up from Timaru for calling it Timaru.

I was like, is it Tamaroe? And we had a discussion and we Googled it. So we didn't argue. How about that? We had differing opinions in 2020 and we discussed it, Googled it, came to a conclusion. Wow. It was very rare.

And then a rainbow. You forget that you can do that. Yeah. Speaking of rainbows, it's Rainbow Storytime New Zealand that was the reason we're talking about tomorrow. Taranaki-based drag queens Erica and Coco Flash are doing a tour around New Zealand. They're doing two weeks of a nationwide tour

where they read books in libraries, and it's a fun little performance. There's dancing, there's games, and it's all about teaching kids about inclusion, inclusion, inclusion, diversity, acceptance. It goes like a big age range. And isn't that important? There was nothing like that when I was a kid.

No. It was fair to say we grew up in the dark. Yeah. About, you know, any range of diversity. It was white bread, baby. Yeah. We didn't have San Francisco sourdough When I was growing up

Yeah Straight white bread Yeah So I mean What a fantastic initiative Yeah Well to be fair There was Molenberg

Just if we're gonna Oh okay rich guy Maybe if you They had seeds in it Maybe if you Upper crust No mum had the Molenberg We wouldn't allow that

I know We wouldn't allow the flesh bread either. We had to have the white bread. Even now, when we go to my parents' place and I pop a McKenzie country slice in, I kind of get a bit of a, oh, it's your father's bread.

And I'll be like, oh, okay, and I'll go for the Bergen or the Vogels and mum will be like, that's mine. That's just mine. Oh, you've got that? Well, you're going to put them out.

They only get one loaf in a week. I know. You're really going to blow it out. They're not going to be able to have toast every day. But this is, you know, a tour around New Zealand, LGBT plus inclusion. Fantastic. If you don't want to take your kids, because for some reason you find talking to them hard. This isn't really that to them hard. Yep.

This isn't really that hard to explain. No. Literally, when my kids were like, I don't even think they asked. Then there was a gay couple on TV and they were like, oh, can boys marry boys? I said, yes, they can. They were like, oh, okay.

That was how hard the chat was. Yeah, right. That was because there'd been no prejudice prior to that in our house That we need to explain Our way out of Yeah No prejudice in children

People might find it hard To explain this to their kids If their kids have witnessed Them being exclusionary To anybody that falls I mean that goes for race That goes for anything Yeah

But someone's taken Offence A Timaru woman has launched an online petition calling for the town's library to cancel the event that would see the drag queen duo talk to youth about diversity. Does she explain her reason? Because I'd love to hear it.

She's labeled it inappropriate entertainment for children. What does she think goes on there? There's a hard copy petition that's been circulated around churches in Timon. Oh, of course. Okay. That's where you'll find little hives of hatred.

Not every churchgoer, I will say. Yeah. Not everyone. Most people who go to church are very accepting. But, you know, those are also, it's undeniable, little hives of hatred towards these sorts of people. The Venn diagram of churchgoers and RuPaul's drag races. It's very small.

Apart, you know who, there's a little overlap. But the little overlap is old white dudes who swear they're not gay. Yeah. Yeah, who say really

homophobic things but every time they say it they get a little sparkle in their eye. You're like, I've seen where this is going, Darren. I see what's happening. Yeah.

Yeah, but just rather than saying it's okay, my children won't be attending. Yeah. Because I'd prefer they live in the dark so that one day there's a very

awkward conversation. Yeah. And they don't want anybody's. They don't want anybody's children to learn diversity. Right. It's still going ahead though? Well, yeah, at the moment.

There's just that petition, so... Do us a favour and pop into a church and rip up that hard copy. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is The Top Six. Hello there. Welcome to The Top Six. New Zealand has revealed its top retirement spots.

Like, where to retire to in 2020. I mean, this isn't an option for many people listening to a station. Well, that's the thing. It's no good for us because by the time it gets to when we retire, these places will be all full and expensive. Actually, they already are expensive, aren't they? Really.

So, Megan, you were dead right there when you said Tauranga. It's sunny. Yep. There's a beach. And Nelson as well is a big hub for retirement. That's Whangarei. So you've got your Taurangas, your Nelsons, your Whangareis, your Kapiti Coast. So, I mean, and Thames Coromandel.

So you've kind of got beachy areas. Sunny. Yeah. Higher sunlight hours with a slightly slower pace of life close to major centres. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not all good news because when the boomers are going,

its property prices go on the up. Yeah. Which is going to force millennials out of these retirement options come 2060. And you might be thinking, 2060? Like, I'll nearly be 80. Yeah. And you might be thinking, Vaughan, you'll be well retired by then. And I say, no, probably not actually.

Not the way we're going. And now that COVID's happened, we're all going to need to work another 15 years. I think the government's going to cash in our KiwiSaver soon. Is that how it works? Yeah, I think so. I think they can just be like, we've just borrowed your KiwiSaver. We're good for it, promise. Tick it up.

Tick it up. We'll be good. Sweet. So I've got the top six hot spots for millennials to retire in in 2060. Okay. Number six, Winton. Down south?

Yeah. Okay. Down south. Colder in the past. Cold now, but warm in the future thanks to global warming. Yes. Brilliant. Yeah. And close to Dunedin. A main centre. Oh, I hadn't thought of thanks to global warming. Yes, brilliant.

Yeah. And close to Dunedin, a main centre. Oh, I hadn't thought of that. That's not good, is it? We're too close to Dunedin. And it's always one of those towns that has big lotto wins. Oh, yeah. That's a plus, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. So I don't know if that'll happen as much when more people live there. Number five on the list of the top six retirement hotspots for millennials in 2016, Murchison. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful there. Lovely. Murchison. You'd be... Yeah, you pass through Murchison a lot.

On the way to West Coast. Only go through Murchison and go to the... If you go down the middle. Right. Rather than down Kaikoura. Great news for property investors. There's two properties for sale at the moment in Murchison. Okay.

I've had a look. How much? Both are well under $400,000. Wow. Fantastic. Yeah, I'll say no more. Become a property mogul in Murchison. Number four on the list of the top six retirement hotspots for millennials in 2016,

Palmerston North. It's inland. You're looking at me very weirdly. No, it's fine. Yeah. It's a lovely city, isn't it? A lot of millennials looking to retire there would have already studied there. Yeah.

So they'll be familiar with it. And it won't be full up of grotty vet students because we won't need vets in 2016. We will have made every animal extinct by then. Yeah, right. So there won't be any need for that. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six retirement hotspots for millennials in the year 2060,

Rata Hi, just out of Ohakuni. Yeah, okay. There, you won't be retiring there for the snow though. Again, global warming. But the good news is one of the highest plateaus of the central North Island means it It'll also be oceanfront. Oh, yeah, by then it will be. Yes.

Fantastic. And also a front row seat for a volcanic eruption. So what a way to go, eh? What a way to go. Number two on the list of the top six retirement hotspots for millennials in 2060 are Stratford. Oh, yeah, okay. Lovely Stratford.

Yeah. With its... In my home region, Taranaki. Yeah, you know, all those great things about Stratford. It's got a clock tower. Yeah, that doesn't work anymore. Not in 2016. Oh, okay.

Yeah, and about 2040, they're going to change it to a digital clock. It's just going to be like a massive Apple Watch. Good, then I can read it. Much better. Yeah, except it makes everybody feel really guilty because they're not closing their rings because they're not walking enough. And so they throw rocks at it until it breaks. Don't come at us with Apple Watch jargon.

I don't know what closing the rings is. Oh, hey, close your rings. It means you haven't been active enough in a day. The blue ring means standing. The green ring means exercise. And the red ring, red ming. Red ming means it's time to see the doctor, okay? You put that off long enough.

And number one on the list of the top six retirement hotspots for millennials in 2060, Hamilton. Oh, great now, great then, great place. I feel like there's some local boy bias there in that one. Look, there might be, but the best part of it is thanks to rising sea levels, the river's going to be even higher. Yep.

Which means that you won't be able to see the rubbish, so you can just chuck it in or float out somewhere else. Okay, that's how that's going to work. That is today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A restaurant in Greece has a really smart way of dealing with influencers who are like, can we get a free meal? I'll post about it to my followers.

So the idea is that the restaurant gives them the meal and all these thousands of followers see it and hopefully go to the restaurant. Yeah. The thing is with this particular influencer that they're talking about, they were travelling to Greece. So, I mean, their followers are all around the world

and you've got to be going to Greece and then go to that specific restaurant. Like, I mean, how much advertising are they really going to get? Yeah, I don't think if I saw an influencer eating at a Greek restaurant, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to save that restaurant. Gobbling up a souvlaki. Yeah.

I mean, I'd probably go to a beach I saw an influencer go to before I went to a restaurant. Or, like, post about it on TripAdvisor and then I'd read it if I ever went to that area or something. Yeah, totally. So they've shared, this is just one, they sound like they get it all the time, but this is just one influencer.

This is what the request says. I recently heard about your restaurant from a friend of mine who mentioned you serve great Greek dishes and vegan options. Would love to come here with my friend in exchange for social media tagging. I've visited Greece quite a few times and one thing I struggle to find is places with veggie

and vegan options. Would love to... There, that's an absolute lie. Would love to speak about this to my audience. I'll be in... Is it Kos? K-O-S?

Kos? From the 18th to 25th of July. Is that where the Kos seller gets his name from? I don't know. Spelled differently. Spelled with a K. Yeah, I know,

but that might have just been a loss in translation situation. And that's an absolute ruse. Greece is like the home of falafel and Greek salads, and there's all kinds of veggie options over there. But they have obviously had enough, and they have a standard response that they send to their influences. What? It is where cos comes from.

That's why he's quiet because he's googling. You're so excited. In British English it's mostly known as cos lettuce. In North America, romaine lettuce. Many dictionaries trace the word cos to the name of the Greek island, cos, from which the lettuce was presumably introduced. Oh wow wow. Okay.

So they send this standard response to people. So they obviously copy and paste this. Like, this happens a lot. Yeah. Okay. It says, our blanket policy which, this has been our blanket policy for years. Thank you very much. However, our restaurant has a

policy. We charge every influencer who wants to eat here normally. However, our restaurant has a policy. We charge every influencer who wants to eat here normally. However, we offer food of equal value to people in need instead. That way we gain publicity from your posts and you improve your brand image by showing that you return something to the community.

Nice. Wow. So if you post, we'll donate some food to charity. And he said no one ever gets back to them. Wow, really? Yeah. So they just want a free meal. That is,

and so they actually don't want to help. No. Wow. How many times have they sent that out? No one's ever got back to them, not one? No, it doesn't specify. But it sounds like enough that they've got a blanket policy.

Brilliant. I think that's actually really, if someone said that to you, I'd be like, actually, that's really cool. Yeah. You'd do it, right? I'd want to see a receipt though. Yeah. Do you get many, I know you've talked about people that have come into the cafe.

Only when we first opened, we got it. We don't get it so much anymore. Weren't they a little bit more like Oh thanks for asking I'm an influencer Like trying to subtly bring it in When you have banter and you're like what do you do And they say oh I'm actually an influencer And open up their account and show you their followers

And then they're just waiting for you to be like I'll give you some free donuts This is always before they order anything And then you go and you go what was that Social Blade Do you remember Social Blade Donuts. This is always before they order anything. And then you go and you go, what was that? Social Blade. Do you remember Social Blade? You could go and you could see someone.

That's right. And it was really obvious that they'd bought follows because they had a quick spike. You'd be like, I'll just run that through Social Blade. I'll be back in a minute. Yeah, because then you can see. I'm like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah.

That happens. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There's a story that naturists are worried that there aren't enough young people coming through and joining the ranks. Yeah. Okay, it's not taboo anymore as much as it used to be. I think maybe it's just not everybody's into, I'm not particularly into being naked. Or just even being social, like going to a social because that's, your parents

you grew up in a naturist family Megan, and there's the naturist park. Yeah. Is that just for camping? Or do you go for like the weekend? Yeah, it's just like a little, it's just a holiday camp. Like you'd go to like any kind of caravan park or. Right.

And the adults, like because I always wore clothes as a... Right. And the adults, like, because I always wore clothes as a little kid. Well, not always, but like I generally was clothed. And everyone's just like socially walk around nude. Because a lot of people think it's like a sexual thing. It's absolutely not. It's just like social nudity.

Everyone is quite comfortable not wearing their clothes. Yeah. I guess it just gets a lot of people excited, doesn't it, when they think of naked people? Yeah, they've obviously never been. Yeah. Yeah. No, because it was so normal to me to just see everyone's bits and pieces.

It was just so normal. Right. I tried to get it started at the Papamoa Top Ten Holiday Park. How did that happen? A couple of summers ago. Right, you got arrested. Yeah, okay, you've got to pick your moments. That's very forceful.

Yeah, that's when you use your diversion, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, you've got to use it. Yeah, exactly. Don't use it, you lose it. That's my saying with diversion. Okay, so is this a New Zealand story?

Is this an international note of decline? It's an international story. It features a Belgium couple who are, I don't know how many followers they've got on Instagram, N underscore wanderings. They're a young nudist couple that travelled the world or did pre-COVID. Basically.

Big in Europe. Big in Europe? It blew my mind. In Greece, people were just walking around with their tackle hanging out. basically. Big in Europe. Big in Europe? It blew my mind. I know. People were just walking around with their knuckle hanging out. I know. You go to the beach. Kiwis are so prudish about nudity.

No, we've got a harsh sun, Meg, and we can't get a melanoma on our doodles. We wear a hat and we wear sunscreen. Right, sunscreen. Everyone's so like, oh, my God. But, yeah, I remember the first, and every time I've been to a beach in Europe in summer, it still shocks you. Yeah. Initially, because you're first, and every time I've been to a beach in Europe in summer, it still shocks you. Yeah. Initially, because you're just like, ah, like, you're at a beach.

And tens. Tens do it. Tens get naked. What do you mean, tens? Ten out of tens. Like, hot people. Yeah, not like fours. No, not like midfield six.

I was going to say that's the nice thing about naturism is that you realise that everyone's body is, like, different, but you're still putting numbers on people's bodies, Vaughn. Yeah. Vaughn. Oh, okay. What was it? Not even an hour ago, you were both dribbling about Harry Styles

and his chicken legs. I didn't put a number on him. His chicken legs. You called me top heavy. You still owe me for that. You said top heavy. You said top heavy. I did not.

You said it without saying it. I specifically said you are me top heavy. You still owe me for that. You said top heavy. You said it without saying it. I specifically said you are not top heavy. And now I'm being the one by saying in Europe I saw a 10 out of 10 nude at a nude beach. I just put a number on Harry. You may as well have put an 11 on him. I appreciate all, because he's quite slender, I can

appreciate a... You said the slit in his shorts ran up and then you dribbled a little bit and you had to like wipe your face. That's exactly what happened. You said the slit in his shorts ran up and then you dribbled a little bit and you had to like wipe your face. That's exactly what happened. You did. He would be a great naturist, I think. Would you imagine if he turned up at a naturist park? That's a

way to recruit young people. Yes. So that's what the industry needs, the community needs to do is get some like influences. I hope I was face down on the beach chair when he arrived. Can you stop objectifying people? That would actually be dangerous because imagine if you were face

down on a deck chair and it was one of those wooden slat ones and it's through there. Yeah, right. And then it's stuck. Yeah, that's your karma. Help me! ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. Well, it's good news for New Zealand men, not so much for New Zealand women.

New Zealand men make it into sixth place in the sexiest accent according to women. Okay. Internationally. Right. And we had won that end of last year. We were number one In that weren't we

Yeah Number one Sexiest accent Yeah We all took that But we all thought How Right

Like let's be honest We know that Maybe it's because We're used to it But Yeah but we know It's not the sexiest It's plain

Yeah No it's not No one thinks it's exotic Overseas they must Overseas they do though They know it's not the sexiest. It's plain. Yeah. No, it's not. No one thinks it's exotic. Overseas, they must. Overseas, they do, though. They think it's cute. They think it's dinky. They think it's cute.

Yeah, they don't think it's exotic or anything. Yeah. Because it sounds so, like, dinky. Oh, you're dinky. Yeah. Where are you from? Oh, from New Zealand. They're like, ha, ha, I'm like, look at you.

More like that. With your vowels missing. Yeah. And then other vowels being there too much. So the accents favoured by a woman. I'll give you the top five. A woman said yes, please, to some Spanish. Si.

Fourth place, Foreman, French. The woman very much enjoyed a French accent on a man. Oh, yes. I am aware. I'm just reading this out. I am aware this is very just sort of straight down the middle heterosexual. There's no word on what men prefer other men to have. Oh, okay.

Why doesn't what woman look for? It's about time this poll place got woke. Yeah. Let's break down the list a bit more. Yeah. That'd be nice. I was just thinking how you could do that.

I was thinking we could do that. Sure. It sounds like a lot of work. We could be like, but then like if on Instagram stories, you just do it

on Instagram stories, you'd be like, lesbians only. Okay. There's no need to yell. The lesbians can hear you. Well, you do it in caps. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Just to really grab the lesbians can hear you Well you do it in caps Oh right okay

You just really grab The lesbians attention Okay right But then how can you be Assured And then you'd be like Straights only Nah cause that sounds

You might get some Contamination In the lesbian pool Right You don't want Contamination in the lesbian pool Stop it Anyway

So Fourth was French. Italian was third. Okay. Is that ringing true, Megan? I would put French. They'd probably be my number one, I'd say. See, Spanish, when Spanish tries to sound sexy, it sounds sexy, but conversational Spanish is quick.

Very quick, yeah. Super quick. I've been watching Netflix shows. I have to have the subtitles on. Because I don't like the dubbing. But it's super quick. They motor through it. Like, I guess, conversational Kiwi.

We've always said we speak really quickly. Number two, accents favoured by women's Irish. It's 77%. Oh, yeah, okay. But well ahead, 86% said Scottish. Scottish accents really get them going. Really? I like Scottish, but I'd prefer French.

Lewis Capaldi? Yeah. That makes me laugh, though. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing, though, because it's a funny accent, but also they're like, yeah, Gerard Butler's. Like when he's speaking in the full throes of Scottish, it's very masculine.

It's a very masculine accent, isn't it? But I'd probably, yeah, you're right, I'd probably more associate the Scottish accent with funny. Yeah. Like your Billy Connolly. Yeah. That amount.

Lois Capaldi. No, Scottish people just seem to always have a great sense of humour. Yeah. What about Mrs Doubtfire? Hello there. Oh, yeah.

And then maybe that's why the Scottish accent doesn't sit on the sexist accent. Actually, it does. It's tenth. Oh, okay. And then maybe that's why the Scottish accent doesn't sit on the sexist accent. Actually, it does. It's 10th. Oh, okay. For women. For women to have that men would find attractive.

But the top five for men are American accents. So men like women with American accents. 69% nice, like the French accent. Australian, 72%. So that's number three. Wow. Aussie chicks. Aussie chicks.

You've been born just cringed. But they're basing that on your Margot Robbie's, eh? More than your, like, shazza's on the news. Yeah. Yeah, like, I was down in the pub and I was, like, smacking a winnie and I was just like on the tune, yes. I think Kiwis are exposed to that more than maybe the rest of the world. Yeah, like those two women that fought each other for toilet rolls

and smashed each other's faces in. I'll smash your face in, bitch. I'm going to kill you. Like, ugh. But yeah, they're getting your Margot Robbie's and everything. Brazilian Portuguese. Right. And at number two.

And then number one sexiest accent favoured by men on woman are Spanish, 88%. Isn't that amazing? Do you find it amazing though that an accent can make someone sexy? It definitely can put them up a couple of places. Puts you up a couple of notches. You ask any Irishman that came to Christchurch for the rebuild. They wouldn't do that well back home. They knew that.

That's why they stayed. Yeah, right. Okay. That's why their numbers were so. Yeah. And they kept growing. They'd be like, come on down, Patty. Or they couldn't get enough of a stand here.

I'm not sure what you're saying. You sounded like Mrs. Brown's voice. Yeah, that's what I was aiming for. That's Irish, right? Come on down, Patty. They can't catch enough of us doing here. All right. And that's not racist because I'm Irish.

Like my family's... You're part Irish. Very Irish. You saw my Ancestry.com breakdown. I'm very white. Yeah, you are. Very Irish Scottish. Should have gone for the Scottish accent.

Okay, I want, on accents and just on that point, is there anyone that's hooked up with someone or got into someone just because of their accent? Whereas if you took the accent away... Oh, not me. I'm just saying there definitely will be. You're lingering on the yes too long.

If you took away someone's accent, would you have gone there? Would you have hooked up with them? Okay. Like, when did an accent... Boost your points. Yeah, boost the points. 100%.

Oh, it's happened. Yeah. It is guaranteed to have happened. Okay, well... You were like, oh, that guy's looking at me. He's not that... And then he comes over and he's like, buy you a drink, love. You'd be like...

What are you having? I've got one for your friend as well. As long as they're not too expensive. We are joined on the phone by an anonymous Scotsman. Good morning. Good morning. No, I believe you. With you.

That's a woman. That's not a Scotsman. Anonymous. No, no. You slept with a Scottish guy because of his accent. Hello, Anonymous. I'm going to pop you on hold. Your phone's a bit, we've lost you a little bit there.

I've lost myself. And climatic because you were expecting a Scotsman. I was. I got excited. Did you see me get whiplash? I was like, what? Do you know, I've just been listening to James McAvoy because I looked up sexy Scottish accents. James McAvoy's got a very sexy Scottish accent.

Who's he in the? He was in X-Men. He was Professor X. Yeah. In the younger ones. Yeah. Yeah, he was in that, but his Scottish accent. For women, the sexiest accent, Scottish. For men, Spanish. Spanish.

So we want to know if you've ever hooked up with someone because of their accent. Text messages in on the subject. I've spent close to $30,000 going back and forward to Ireland just because of a sexy accent drew me in once upon a time. Oh, my God. I don't know if that's like to see the same person

or they just go there. Well, they're not going there at the moment, so maybe they need to get their fix from somewhere. Being Scottish, we often flew to Dublin in Ireland as the ladies absolutely loved the accent when we touched down. Just a little bit different to the Irish accent, I suppose. That's like love, actually, when the British guy goes to America. Yeah, yeah.

He's not getting any luck here. Sophie, good morning. Good morning. Now, who had the accent? What drew you in? So, for me, it's a bit different because I'm actually Dutch, but I immigrated when I was really little, so I have grown up in new zealand he's my accent yeah but um when i went overseas i like ran into a dutch boy and i thought it was like so amazing to meet

someone my own age that could like speak dutch and i thought it was really sexy so then i um you know went home with him and then but then as we were like whatever getting into that um he started speaking dutch like dirty dutch to me and then i realized that the only dutch i can you know, went home with him. And then, but then as we were like, whatever, getting into that, he started speaking Dutch, like dirty Dutch to me. And then I realized that the only Dutch I can affiliate with is at home with my parents and my brother and my dad. And he was like, no, no, no, stop. And it destroyed it. Wow.

Stop. Yeah, I realized what I thought was sexy was actually like clearly some sort of like daddy issues or something. I was just really uncomfortable. That's brilliant. You grew up and they were the only Dutch people you could speak to. I totally, yeah. Wow, brilliant. Sophie,

thanks for your call. An anonymous caller joins us now. You have an Irish boyfriend. Hi, yes I do. Okay, and so obviously it's more than the accent if you're with this guy. Oh yeah, he's a great guy, but he's definitely not much to look at, but the girls, women love the accent. You've just called your boyfriend not much to look at.

Oh, he's lovely. Like, obviously it goes to show that I'm sort of what's on the inside. Yeah, right. His accent comes from the inside. Yeah. So you're also, okay, right. So it's the accent that really does it for you. What, like, we're not putting numbers on, but we are.

What is he, like, scaling at? Oh, maybe a four out of ten. And so the accent pushes them up to a what? Oh, an eight or a nine. Wow, okay. So if he was just a Kiwi guy, if you'd met this guy and he just had a Kiwi accent, you wouldn't have bothered?

Probably not. Do you ever hear the accent fading a little bit and you're like, go and have a night out with your mates? Yeah, definitely. His mates are like, you're getting a Kiwi accent. I'm like, ooh. Might want to really buckle down there. You've never said to him that he's not much to look at though, right?

No, hell no. No, okay. We're just like, he doesn't listen to this show he's not much to look at though, right? No, hell no. We're just hoping he doesn't listen to this show. Just saying it to everybody else. Hey, I appreciate the honesty. Thank you, anonymous callers from text messages. Somebody said, I swipe right on Bumble if anyone's got an Irish flag in their profile. Because that's apparently, that's just Christchurch Spurley down there.

Someone's just putting the Irish flag in the profile for fun. They're like, yeah. Yeah, once you've got the date, then. Yeah, you've got to hope that people know their flags, right. That's just Christchurch Burley down there. Someone's just putting the Irish flag in the profile for fun. They're like, yeah. Yeah, once you've got the date, then. Yeah, you've got to hope that people know their flags, though. What's Italy? Is Italy the Irish flag, but up the other way? Isn't there a green, white, and orange? No, Italy's red. Good morning, Rebecca.

Hello, good morning. Good morning. Now, what's your story? What happened? So I have, I've got two kind of quick stories. I will always swipe right on Bumble with any Irish guys. Another one, we're getting a few of those, yeah? Yeah.

And the other thing is I have a really great full-time job, but I still work in an Irish bar part-time just to meet the Irish boys. So again... It's like you've got a secondary job to fund your addiction. A little bit, yeah. And I live in Christchurch too, so we always hit the Irish.

Yeah. It's just burly for the babes, eh? It is, right? They're just on the back of the boat being like, fiddle-titty, fiddle-titty, potatoes, points of Guinness, love. You want to kill Kenny? You're being offensive. Jamesons.

Are you just saying Irish things? Yeah. And the fisher out there. Like koi carp out in the water. You know when you chuck a bit of something in a koi carp and they're like. Wow. Okay.

Thanks, Rebecca. Bye, boys. Cut the nudge. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Joined on the phone by two people. I don't know. I don't know if you guys remember these guys. They used to hang around here a bit.

Jason, PJ, good morning. Remember when we were like, hey, let's go. Hello? Hello. We all know how radio works. Sure, sure. Hello? Hello? We all know how radio works. That's... Sure, sure. Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hi. This will be the time difference. Yeah.

That two hours behind. Can you hear us? Yeah. Yes. Oh, my God, fathers. You have not changed. Jason PJ, in the middle of Melbourne's COVID lockdown 2.0, because there's so many Kiwis who still call Melbourne home,

we just wanted to check in with you guys and see how it's going. Well, I was just saying to Pete this morning, remember that time we were in New Zealand and we were like, let's pack up and go to Aussie. Yeah, this will be amazing. Great idea, they said. We're regretting that. So how's this different to the first time around?

Because you were in lockdown around the same time that New Zealand was in, like, level four lockdown. Yes, we were. And we weren't as hardcore as you guys last time. You know, we had the takeaway and the cafes and all that kind of jazz open, so you could still get Uber Eats. Haircuts? What about haircuts as well? You could get a haircut, couldn't you? You could last time.

This time around, haircuts are banned pretty much all commercial stores apart from supermarkets, petrol stations. We've still got cafes open, though, so you can actually still get takeaways this time around. But the big difference is also that there's a curfew from 8 p.m. to 5 a.m. And what else, Jess? That's probably the...

That's pretty much it. That's the spooky bit. Like, I went to the survey last night. I was doing a little ice cream run at about 10 to 8. You can't do it past 8, though, or else you'll get fined. Yes. So, yeah, they're pretty gnarly. Also, you can only go, like, shopping once a day.

It has to be one family member. And you can only exercise within 5k of your house for one hour. Wow. And what about, are you allowed to Tinder before 8pm? No. You can Tinder, you just can't hook up.

Can't meet up. Oh, right. So just on Zoom, I guess. Yeah. Which we're all over Zoom. The 5k thing was massive when they announced that

everyone was just hitting Google Maps to check like What have I got? What have I got? What's in your radius? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 4.9 Ks. We're all good there.

Wow. Well, yeah, because I guess if you didn't have a park within 5 Ks, you just could have run the streets or something. Yep. Yep. Pretty much. And they're really strict. They're like, I think they're bringing out like number plate monitoring.

If they see your car on the road like twice in one day, they'll know you've left the house more than once. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. It's pretty crazy. And they're bringing out permits later in one day, they'll know you've left the house more than once. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. It's pretty crazy. And they're bringing out permits later in the week that you'll have to apply for. So like you guys, they class us as essential workers.

I know, that's the truth. We still don't understand that. We're going to have to apply for permits and everything and then if you are an essential worker, you've got to have a permit displayed on your car. Yeah, because we are travelling in curfew time. I was going to say, yeah, because you'd have to go to work before five, so you'll have your permits to be able to do that.

But then that'll mean you'll be able to do your ice cream run again later that night, Jase. I'd say it's for work reasons. We're discussing flavours of Ben and Jerry's on the show. I'm tasting the ice cream. Imagine how you'd have to really savour it if you got a fine, and so that Magnum that you pop down to the servo to get cost you $1,605.

Yeah, exactly. You'd really have to savour that ice cream. Can we discuss your chief health officer? Because we had an obsession with Ashley Bloomfield. Yeah. But yours is Brett Sutton and I've had a Google. Jeez, Paige.

I know you're separated from your boyfriend but that was a real long and grown for Suts there. He's a silver fox. Yeah, daddy vibes. Think Clooney. Slowly broader. He's just got like a little

he's sort of grown out the shadow of his beard i think he knows that he's got a few followers now so he's just playing up to the audience you can actually no joke you can buy linen with his face on it yep they've got a brett bath and beyond collection so you can get special pillows wow We're pretty bored over here, guys. We're pretty bored. It's time to talk. Totally. That's the thing. In lockdown, it sure gets the old,

well, I'd better expend this creative energy somehow situation going. And you get your Brett Bath and beyond. Did you guys do any stupid ISO purchases? Oh, my God. Because I went out, when I knew I was going to be locked down with the kids, I went out and bought a ping pong table. He's also got a portable hot tub.

He's got a fire pad. Did you get that booze? You got the booze trolley from Kmart? Got the booze trolley, yeah. He also got a cocktail shaker. He got a bougie ice cube tray, so he gets the big ice cube, so it looks like it's from an actual bar.

Oh, yeah. They all sound like essential items. Definitely not. Well, if we're going to do that, tell everyone what you were purchasing last night. No, I haven't purchased it yet. What were you going to buy? Guys, it's the height of narcissism.

What? A selfie light. The giant ring light? It was the giant ring light. What? I was thinking about it. I was like, everyone looks so good behind there, and maybe I could really, like, start this vlog.

This could be my vlog opportunity. Peach, two-thirds of the show can't hassle you because Vaughn and I have both got a ring light, so... Shut up. Yeah, I look gorgeous. What are you, Vaughn? I tell you... You're buying bloody... Land Rovers. You've got ring lights. You've changed, mate.n? I tell you. You're buying bloody.

Land rovers. You've got ring lights. You've changed, mate. Oh, yeah. I'm glamming. And I tell you what, speaking of essential services, what the world definitely needs now, PJ, is another wellness vlog. Yeah, I was thinking that. I was like, what else are we missing?

What does the world need? Oh, I tell you what, Dad, love a medical opinion on something from a completely holistic standpoint. You got me. Hey, well, it's good to hear you guys are doing well. Be safe and yeah, great

to hear from you guys out of Melbourne this morning. Thank you guys. Love you guys. Miss you. Bye. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the. Love you guys. Miss you. Bye. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There's been a lot of controversy around the Ellen show. Ellen, everyone's saying she's not nice to work for.

There are three problematic executive producers that are apparently not very pleasant. There's lots of allegations of bullying behind the scenes that we're hearing about. But we've harked this back to, and I think everyone kind of agrees, that this came from an interview with Dakota Johnson, which was November last year. This was the first major cracks, right? Where everyone's like, that's awkward. What's going on there?

So this was part of the Christmas show, and Dakota Johnson was referencing how she invited Ellen to her birthday last year he gave me a bunch about not inviting you but I didn't even know you wanted to be invited well invited to a party I didn't even know you liked me of course I like you you knew I liked you you've been on on the show many times and don't I show like? But I did invite you and you didn't come. This time you invited me? Yeah.

Are you sure? Yeah. How do you know? I don't think so. Ask everybody. It's so awkward. And after that there were some whisperings coming out about people who had worked on the show. And even guests, Nikki Tutorials, if you follow her, said that their time on the show wasn't actually very pleasant. Yeah, like, don't look at Ellen, not allowed to look at her in the eye, behind the scenes, that kind of thing.

And since then, it's kind of snowballed. And people have taken note that there aren't many celebrities that have come out in support of Ellen. Katy Perry did today though. Katy Perry came out and said that all her experiences on the show and with Ellen have been pleasant but she can only speak for herself. Right. But there aren't many celebrities coming out.

Portia de Rossi put up a picture that I'm guessing she wants everyone to share saying I stand with Ellen but no one's sharing it. No. Some people are like, who made that graphic? So there's not a lot of support currently for Ellen. What's her whole mantra? Be kind to one another.

No, no, no, it's just keep swimming. Dory. Yeah. Well, it turns out Dory's a bitch, Megan. She let Nemo go. Go out of the reef. Next on the show. Yeah, there's a lot of speculation,

but we thought we'd talk to someone who has been there, who's worked with Ellen right from the beginning, from 2003. One of her producers joins us. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. We're joined on the show by ex-Ellen Show producer Heta Muscat. Good morning. Hi, good morning to you. Now, we're hearing a lot of stuff about the Allen Show.

It's a surprise to us because her catchphrase is be kind to one another, and that is the opposite of kind of everything that's coming out. What is your general experience from working on the show? So my experience is everything that you've been reading has been true. The allegations that the ex-staffers and current staffers have been making anonymously. I was the first hire on the show in 2003. And pretty early on when they hired the executive producer, Ed Glavin, to work closely with Ellen, it created already a culture of fear. Ed was a yeller.

Ellen knew about it. He would yell in front of us and her in a room. He would just be going off on people with veins bulging. And from that moment on, we were walking on eggshells. We were always afraid. So from a cultural point of view, the toxic environment was there from the beginning. So 16 years later, for her to come out and say she was not aware of it is quite shocking. I was only there the first season.

After I won my first Emmy over there, they let me go, saying that my services are no longer required. I had a feeling it was coming. I was told to not talk to Ellen anymore. She didn't want me to come in and pitch my segments to her. She wanted my assistant to do that, a lovely young intern-type guy just out of college. Right. I was told to no longer brief my guests on the set.

So Ellen already built walls and picked her favorites very early on from day one. Because there's a lot of talk that it's the three producers, they're the ones that are to blame. But you're saying Ellen knew about it. Was she ever, you know, like a toxic person herself? She was toxic to be around. That's how I would frame it.

Because she wouldn't look at you in the eye. She was very dismissive. Early on when I would pitch my segments and I would just open my mouth. I'm not even five seconds into my pitch. She would say, get to the point already. Get to the point. Come on, get to the point. So, I mean, how do you start thinking about your story that you're trying to pitch when you have to get to the point? And she had no interest in human interest segments, which was the real backbone of our show at the beginning because celebrities did not want to do the show because they were waiting to see how it rated.

And once the ratings went through the roof when we premiered in September of 2003, then, of course, everybody wanted to do the show. So you see two Ellens. You see the wonderful, brilliant host that she is, and that's why she's been able to get away with it for all these years because she is truly talented she is endearing you know in front of the camera but recently someone started exposing you know the staff

which I wasn't privy to until somebody called me and said did you know about this and I wasn't gonna lie and say oh I didn't know about it I was like yeah and then they said are you willing to give your name because everybody's anonymous I said of course i don't need to hide this is the truth wow how did you take her apology at the weekend it's full of you know what it's bogus yeah it's bogus because her apology is 16 years too late you can't buy back all the lives that she destroyed basically because when you fire people for no reason just because you don't like them and you don't like them because they didn't do anything wrong. You just don't like their look or maybe they're old and they're older women in the you know, I'm older than her. She has no idea the effect when you let people go, how it affects their families when you're the sole provider of your family. So when I got let go, I asked Ed, the screamer, Ed, I said, did I do something wrong?

Because, you know, I just got nominated for an Emmy. Usually when you get nominated for an Emmy, you know, you don't think you did anything wrong. And he was like, no, you brought the show. We used your segments to submit to the Academy. You brought the show to a level. We got it from here we good luck with everything so i said well do i go and say goodbye to ellen do i thank her no we got it so when i go to my office it's 5 30 now on a friday

there's security in there they've got my boxes packed i'm out of there no goodbye from ellen good luck um you know it's an explanation. This is what people have to understand about Ellen, which people don't understand. Ellen was the executive producer of the show. There are many shows where the host is just the hired hand, and then you give them a pass. They have no clue what's going on behind the scenes. As an executive producer on the show, she's the one who made all the rules.

These were her rules that Ed was following. So is this a well-known thing in Hollywood? Yes, it is well-known. Even before I started working there in 2003, people would say to me, even from her stand-up comic days, you know, my husband's a sitcom writer, my friends are stand-up comics,

so, you know, I'm around this whole comedy world. And I was like, I don't know, she's so funny, and she's so funny. You watch the Ellen sitcom, and then I watched the promo for the Ellen show before it premiered. They showed me, like, the teaser reel. And I was like, oh, my God, this is going to be a hit. She's just so funny, which she is.

I mean, she's truly talented. You know, finding Nemo and she's Dory. And I had a little girl. Now she's older, my daughter. So, yeah, I mean, it was known, but you don't want to believe it. So now you start working there. And, you know, the average person, you know, who's not in the industry would say, well, why don't you quit? You can't quit.

You basically do love your job, but it's not easy to find other work when you're the sole provider of your family at that time. So in terms of the show, do you think that it will carry on? I hope not. She's not deserving of the show. I think that all we need is one more person to come out like me. One more person, not a Katy Perry, not all the billionaires who are saying, oh, she's so great. Yeah, you're billionaires. You all hang out together. Talk to the PA. Talk to that African-American girl that got berated for going to a funeral. I mean, these are people that are afraid to come forward.

But if we have one more person who claims their name like me, had a musket, I wasn't afraid because I'm in my 60s now and I just don't care anymore. And this should put every boss on notice, that there's a way to be creative and tell your staff you don't like something without your vein bulging out of your neck. Well, I guess on behalf of all of those people, thank you so much for talking to us this morning, Heta Muscat.

Thank you very much. Am I a Bad Person is the segment of the show where we get to get our judgy pants on and judge another person's situation. But they're asking us to. Yeah. They want to know if you're a bad person. So Anonymous joins us today. Good morning.

Good morning. And before we went on air, Megan's like, I know her name. I've got to get it out of my head. Don't say it. Don't say it. I won't say it. Okay. Don't jump in.

No. Okay. Anonymous, you have a situation you need help with. What's happening? So my dad lives in Australia. Okay. And three months ago, he broke up with his horrendous girlfriend. Tell us what you really think.

Evil stepmother kind of vibe. Yeah. Well, she's been on the scene for two years, and she's very hard to connect with and kind of get to know, I guess. Okay. Does he know that you find her horrendous? Yeah, so I've let him know that. Okay.

He knows. So everyone was kind of glad that he got rid of her. Anyway, he let slip that it was actually a mutual feeling. She didn't like me either and didn't really fancy spending any more time with me or building a relationship. Anyway, so recently I found out he started to see her again, which has been annoying. Yep.

Which is also awkward because now I know how she feels as well, so it makes me not really want to make any effort. That's like when one of your friends breaks up and you're like, that's... Oh my God. Oh my god. We all hated them and then they're like, two weeks later, we're back

together. Oh! You know, that's cool. We do that too. I've done that so many times. Same. That's sucked. It's relatively awkward. Anyway, so I get married next year and have asked that she doesn't come to our wedding or

attend any of the celebrations leading up to our wedding. Basically we're paying a huge amount of money for our wedding and we want to have people there that we actually like. 100% And Dad thinks I'm being a brat and has threatened not to come, which would be absolutely heartbreaking

because I've always wanted him to walk me down the aisle. So am I a bad person for not wanting her there and should I hold my ground? This is very close to home for me with my first wedding. And how so for your first wedding? A close family member needed some people there that were not invited, shall we say.

Right. Skirting around details. To be honest, there was such a battle that in the end, you've got to decide what's more important to you, I guess. Like whether you want him to walk you down the aisle, if that's really important, then you're probably going to have to have her there. Yeah.

I just worry, like, because she does change how he is when she's around. So, like, I worry that he's not going to really be able to enjoy himself because she doesn't speak a lot of English. So he's not really going to be able to leave her with anybody because they won't be able to understand her. Now, is your dad a New Zealand citizen? Yes. Here's my plan.

Oh, yes. Oh, boy. I know where you're going with this. We kick off a worldwide pandemic that will cost the world billions of dollars. Okay. But it means that your dad can come home in quarantine because he's a Kiwi.

However, she doesn't have Kiwi residency. She's not a Kiwi citizen. She can't come. Oh, no. This is my backup plan but if quarantine gets lifted we've got no way around anonymous i like you and i know the prime minister i will pull some strings do not drag imagine that born is the reason jacinda's dragged down before the election after the election she'll have three more years. Right, okay.

Or you ring up and you say, I'm worried. I've got family on this flight. And they said, this woman has COVID symptoms. And then get her right. Locked up, sent home. Okay, well, Megan, you've been in this situation. Maybe you're listening and you've been in this situation

and you've got some advice. 0800 DARS at M. you can text through 9696 do you think anonymous is a bad person for not inviting dad's partner yeah awkward i don't she sounds like a bitch she makes dad happy what if she makes you happy for now was you, I'd be like, Dad, grow up. Like, this is my wedding. Is your dad paying for any aspect of the wedding? He hasn't yet. Well, then he doesn't get a say.

It's your day if he wants to be there. But then he said, I'm not coming if she's not invited. And she wants him there. Call us bluff. Us dads, we're a pushover. Especially when it comes to our little girls. We'll do anything. We try to act tough.

It's like, no dessert. I said no dessert. Please. Just a little bit of ice cream. Am I a bad person? We had Anonymous. We had Anonymous on the phone just before. So she is facing a predicament where she's getting married.

Her and her dad have a good relationship but she does not like her dad's partner. She does not want her to come to the wedding. The dad is now threatening that he won't come if the partner's not invited.

The thing about weddings, I mean, I haven't got married but you have twice. It's their very busy days. You're not going to, this person's not going to be around much. No, but you know when you

hate someone and everything they do annoys you? And once you've noticed that, you can't not notice it. Yeah, that's true. I agree, though. She'd have to make a big showcase of herself to ruin it. You probably wouldn't even talk to her. And you don't think that she shouldn't invite her dad.

You think he's got to be there. If she specifically said she wanted him to walk her down the aisle, I just think in a few years' time, she's going to look back, and if she didn't invite her dad, it's going to be something she regrets. Okay, well, she's still on the phone waiting, so after we hear from everybody and run through our poll results, we'll see what she thinks. Terry, what do you think?

Is she a bad person? No, not at all. I think that as much as you want your dad there, if he can't appreciate that on your wedding day, one of the most important days of your life, that you want people there that appreciate you and love you and your partner. And if he can't see that,

then he doesn't deserve to be there to celebrate that with her. That's a bold forever call to make, though, because then your dad is just never going to be at your wedding. You can't take it back. Unless you have a second one. I do. I'm like, I'm like,

Dad, I don't want her there. This is a really important day for me. If you are choosing not to come, that's on him. It's not on her at all. He's making that call and that says a lot about him as well

and how he views his relationship with this woman if he really is going to put her over his daughter. So it's not about her making that decision. That's on him. Yeah, and they haven't been together long, have they?

The dad and the woman. And they were together and then they broke up. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like, if she really is important, then, you know, he should be able to say to her, unfortunately, you and my daughter don't have a good relationship. I can't miss this. And if she really loves him,

she'll understand it and maybe try and make an effort in the future. The dad loves both of them, though. I just don't think it's fair to be like, choose. It never ends up well. It never works out. I can't even imagine being with somebody who didn't like you kids. That would just be weird. Like if they were bad-mouthing your kids.

Yeah. You'd be like, shut your mouth. What did you say? I just could never even imagine it. Thanks, you're cool, Terry. Sarah, what do you think? Is she a bad person for not wanting her dad at the wedding? No, I don't think she's a bad person. Look, I'm a pregnant mess at the moment

and my emotions are all over the bloody place. I really feel for her because, you know, you want your dad there. I didn't have my dad in my life. And so we kind of reconnected. And it just really, like, the drive, like,

to drop my son off to school, it was like, oh, my God, listening to this. I was like, don't cry. Like, don't cry. And I just, I truly feel for her. oh, my God, listening to this. I was like, don't cry. Like, don't cry. And I just, I truly feel for her. And with what you guys are saying, I totally agree. Like, I think it will be something that she'll look back on and regret if he's not there.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. I feel for her. I feel really sorry for her. It's definitely tough. But, yeah, I agree with you yeah for sure she's not a bad person i really feel for you honey if you're listening i really feel for you okay sarah thanks so much for your call uh chore uh bad person or not no absolutely not

okay well it's her wedding day she can do what what she likes. No, it's not necessarily that, but I think her dad, for him to almost use that as a threat of not coming, like in the end, he is going to come. Your dad is going to walk you down the aisle. So I think she kind of just needs to stick to her guns. And call his bluff. For my wedding, I had people I didn't want there

and to this day, I still regret it. So she needs to do what's going to make her day special. And I think in the end, as long as she talks to her dad, he's going to come. He's not not going to come over there. It's just a threat. Okay. Brilliant.

Chor, thank you for your call. Text messages. That seems to be the general vibe on it as well. Invite your dad and not the partner. If he doesn't come, that's on him. He's going to have to see wedding photos and know he chose missing his daughter's big day. Why can't she invite both of them and just say, but this is on you, dad. You need to make sure that she doesn't ruin this for me.

Yeah. Someone said partners come and partners go, but daughters are forever. Grow up, dad, you dick. That's true. Grow up, dad, you dick. That's what you should say to him on the phone. Instagram poll, are you surprised, Megan, at how one-sided this is? I thought it would be

a bit more split. 93% of people said not a bad person on our Instagram poll. I don't think she's a bad person, but I think like I don't think she's a bad person, but I think she's also admitted she hasn't spent a lot of time. We've got to be a bit more mature about it, you know? Could she talk to her a bit more and try and get to know her a bit more? Okay.

Well, the anonymous caller whose story this is has been listening to your calls and your texts. Anonymous, what do you think? Listening back. I love Sarah. She's so lovely. So sweet. She's very hormonal. So sweet.

I'm also going to tell Dad to grow up your dick. That was great advice. But yeah, I also think that maybe, yeah, I probably won't see her a lot during the day, so maybe... I just don't want you to...

Maybe she could be there. I don't want you to not invite your dad and then look back and be like, oh, man. Or, I mean, you're inviting him and he's making the decision, but I don't want you to greet it down the line and be like, my dad wasn't there. Yeah, and I think I would be thinking that, like, I would be more gutted about dad not being there than her being there.

Another idea, invite her, but say that it's fancy dress. The male fancy dress theme's black tie, and the female fancy dress is clown. And then when she turns up and she's the only person dressed as a clown, she'll leave. So you invite her, but she didn't stay. And don't set a place for her, because you know she's not saying this as a clown, she'll leave. So you invited her, but she didn't stay. And don't set a place for her because you know she's not saying she's dressed as a clown.

Or just set her table place like right at the back or some giant flowers in front of her so you don't see her. Yeah. Well, that was my other kind of concern about her is that she's going to be in all the photos. Yeah. Because there's no way you can invite someone and be like, no, stand to the side.

Well, you just take photos with and without her. Yeah. And put her right on the end because that's the easiest person to prop out. Yeah. Or get her to wear one of those suits, the Lycra green suits. Oh, yeah, yeah, those Spanish green suits. With the ping pong balls on them. Yeah.

And then you just edit her out or turn her into Gollum. Or edit in Dad's new girlfriend. It would be Andy Serkis all along. Yeah. Anonymous, let us know how you get on in the future, whenever your wedding is. Yeah, good luck. Weddings are stressful.

Yeah, Megan's had time. She can speak to that. We're going to have to do a loaf at this point. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Welcome to our 50k fact of the day. All thanks to Save My Bacon, a safe place to borrow money online. We have up for grabs today, $500 at midday and $500 at four o'clock. And it will be a question about today's fact of the day. Yesterday, yesterday, Megan from Southland won $500. Oh my God, I'm going to cry. Oh my God, I've got a dentist

this week and also I'm on like maternity leave and my payment's finished so that's just come like, oh my God, guys, thank you so much.

That's half a filling. Why do you have to, why do you have to say that? It's better than no filling. It's better than no filling. That was more of a slight at dentist, Megan, than our prize amount. Don't slight a dentist. She's stoked.

They'll give you an extra. They'll give you half the painkiller next time in a double drill. Never slight a dentist. You know that big drill that goes wobble, the real wobbly, vibratey one? That's the worst one. I don't mind it. No, don't do that either. That one's okay.

It's a... That one is the worst in your whole mouth. I hope she's not listening. All right. Well, today's fact of the day that could win you $500, like Megan. It's about cucumbers. Now, I know because we go through a lot of cucumbers in our house. Like the kids, my kids love cucumbers. Even in winter.

Don't get me started. I've tried to talk my wife out of buying non-seasonal vegetables, but we continue to buy cherry tomatoes, which at the moment are like a million dollars a plummet. Right, okay. But if you, I just wanted to see how much, at the moment, a cucumber, a telegraphed cucumber was. Okay.

So I went, I just typed in price of cucumber in New Zealand. The top result was from Countdown. So I clicked on it. If you were to photograph a cucumber, Okay. How would you photograph it? Just like long ways. Horizontally? Yeah. Then explain to me Countdown why they've done this at an erection angle.

It's not straight up and down. It's not horizontal. It's not diagonal. It's very phallic. That's a wreck. That's a very erect. No one's ever going to laugh. Look at that angle. That's very phallic. That's a wreck. That's a very wreck. No one's ever going to laugh. Yeah, that's... Look at that angle.

That's a long one. They're photographing cucumbers. They're going to make that shit exciting. Yeah, if that was my job, I probably would have added a couple of kiwi fruit at the bottom. They were uploading it. It might have appeared worth at the bottom. No, it doesn't.

They were uploading it, and I reckon they were like, crop, pull it in, and they're like, might rotate this. See if anybody notices. Well, we've noticed, Countdown. We're on to you, Countdown. You're very cheeky

with your cucumbers. Today's fact of the day is the phrase cool as a cucumber is actually a scientific fact. The inside of a cucumber can be up to 20 degrees cooler than the outside air. 20 degrees? 20 degrees.

Yep. If they're growing in a very hot climate, which they do well in, but they need a lot of water. Yeah. Cucumbers. It can be, say it's 40 degrees Celsius. Okay. It could only be 20 degrees inside that cucumber. Now, it's due to the fact that like 90% water and the

structure of their cells you know how water is like, you know how if you live in a city that's beside the ocean the temperatures are a little bit more consistent they don't go up and down as drastically whereas if you're in a town where there's no water surrounding the temperature can go high and low

and it's because the water surrounding keeps the temperature a bit more moderate because it takes more energy to heat and cool it. Right. So the cucumber is so 90% water that it takes a lot more. If you had it in the direct sun, it could heat up. But if you just had it in the same area where the air temperature was 40, but the cucumber could be 20 degrees cooler.

Idea. A MacPak jacket for summer made out of cucumber. That's a fantastic idea, but it would be very heavy. Yeah, but you'd be 20% cooler. 20 degrees cooler. Would it be thin or thick? I'm not making the jacket, mate. That's MacPak's job.

Well, I'm sorry. Here at MacPak, we have a few follow-up questions before we just start designing jackets made out of cucumbers. Right. Okay, well, it's just an idea. Because it would be heavy. Yeah, right. It would be a very heavy jacket if it was filled with water of that. Yeah.

Because that's the other thing. Thin amounts of water would heat up against your skin, the outside and the inside. It's got to be a bit more of a girthy. I'll put some foil in it or something. You know that foil material? That's more added. You know that, like, when you get a cooler bag from the supermarket?

That's keeping the heat in as well. Look, anyway, so I've put the idea out there. I'm sorry, here at MacPack, sir, we wasted our time. It's not a bad idea in a brainstorm, MacPack. Here at MacPack, there's plenty of bad ideas in a brainstorm. I've actually just had a message here from my friend who works at MacPack. I'll get the design team onto that. That's good.

They are humouring you. No, they are not. I want to see a PowerPoint presentation at the MacPack boardroom. On the MacCucumber. On the MacCucumber jacket for summer. MacCucumber jacket. I mean, we might be pushing to get on the summers. Yeah. Probably summer 21. Definitely. 22 maybe. Cucumber jacket. I mean, we might be pushing to get on the summers. Yeah, probably summer 21.

Definitely. 22 maybe. Definitely not. So today's fact of the day, and remember that because there'll be a question for the 50k fact of the day at 12 o'clock with Georgia and 4 o'clock this afternoon with Bree and Clint, is that the phrase cool as a cucumber is a scientific fact. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Yesterday, after work, what a lovely day it was in Auckland. Beautiful. I'm not sure I didn't see the weather last night. Did everyone have a good day it was in Auckland. Beautiful. I'm not sure I didn't see the weather last night. Did everyone have a good day yesterday? I don't know. A cold start of a good day. I'll tell you what's happening this weekend. It's going to be very cold.

We're getting a cold southerly thingy. You're doing that thing again when we're talking about positives and you walk in with the negative. I'm just warning people. I don't want people to be out in a T-shirt to think it's going to be a T-shirt and shorts weekend. What about later in the day? Look people i don't want people to be out in a t-shirt to think it's going to be a t-shirt and shorts weekend it might be what about later in the day i don't look i don't know okay um i just saw a headline that's all i'm going on okay i didn't read the full story it was such a lovely day i thought i'm gonna go for a trot okay uh or a run a run no not a gallop

not a canter yeah like a trot iot. You're more of a gentle yogger. Yeah, I go for a gentle yog. Now, I was trying a new route, and I needed to use the facilities. The bathroom. Okay. And I found a public toilet, and I walked in, and I went to the toilet, and I was washing my hands, and I did the pump of the soap stuff, and it was blue foam.

Haven't had that before. It smelled like floor cleaner, but that's all right because sometimes after you've used the public toilet, you think you might need a floor cleaner level soap to wash your hands. Sometimes you just feel like you just need to dip your whole hands in genola. Yeah, you're like, ouch. So it was at that stage that I looked to the side, most unusual because the mirror in the public toilet

wasn't straight above the sink where you'd usually find it. Yeah. I looked to the side. Most unusual because the mirror in the public toilet wasn't straight above the sink where you'd usually find it. Yeah. It was to the side of the toilet. No, to the side. I'm washing my hands. Yeah. And I look to the side and there's a little wall that juts out at the end of the sinks. And I look and I'm immediately like, oh, damn, who day it?

Okay. The public toilet had a really slimming mirror. I took a photo. Look at that. It was a little bit concave. It must have been a little bit concave. Oh, wow, look at that. I know.

It went in and out at all the right spots. That's what you look like, Bess. It's made you, yeah, that's exactly what you look like. It went in at the, like, waist. It's taken, like, where you don't have a muffin top, but it's where the waist is, or if you were to have a muffin top, it just concaves it, doesn't it? Yeah.

A little bit. It brings it a little bit. I don't know if it's because it's attached to the wall just above that, and then that carries it. Maybe they pushed it a little bit tight. Maybe there's some morphing of the mirror there on the hang. But I was very pleased with that, that mirror. I mean, it's gross because it's got the urinal and the sink and stuff in front of it.

You could almost crop that like that. And that could be light. That could be your profile photo. Because I was thinking next time, like when we go to a function together and we're all dressed up, we'll just pop there quickly. Yes, do one at a time. But then the urinal, yeah, we have to crop the urinal out. We have to crop the urinal out.

I swear that some shops, you know, some fitting rooms or even one of the gym mirrors at my gym is a special mirror to make you feel skins. Because you're like, oh, this gym's working. I need to come back. I thought the rule was for gym mirrors that in the men's changing rooms, it made you look bigger. Like buffer. Yeah, and for women's changing rooms, it made you look slimmer. I don't know.

Because how do they, do you concave the mirror a little bit? Concave to make it look skinny. Convex to make it bigger. Yeah, to make you look a little bit bigger. Okay. Yeah. But that one, if anybody's looking for a flattering-like mirror, just have a photo in the Hua Pai Public Toilets beside the library.

Great. Don't go into the library because they've got toilets in the library. Nuh-uh. No flattering mirror in there? It's between the library and the $2 shop. In front of the old art barn. Right. Over the road from the Hua Pai Tav.

Okay, right. That sounds great. Yep. Yep. Good mirror for selfies. It's in the males. I can't speak to the females' mirror because I don't, I'm not that guy.

Okay. So if you see some chicks all dressed up going into the males' toilet at Hua Pai, maybe that's it. That'll be it. Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, you'd say someone whose name, you know, wasn't a household name before COVID-19, but now is, is Dr. Ashley Bloomfield.

The man that fronted up to press conferences every day and took a day off and everyone was like, well deserved. Quickly became a heartthrob. Yeah, and then played a game of parliamentary rugby recently, scored a try, scored a try, got the pins a game of parliamentary rugby recently. Scored a try. Scored a try, got the pins out. Made hearts swoon. His team won.

Well, now he has been immortalised in ink because somebody, Sherilyn, got a tattoo of Dr Ashley Bloomfield with what I believe the Anzac poppy underneath in front of the beehive in the background. It's an incredible tattoo. If he has a press conference today, Ashley Bloomfield 100% will be asked about this. I'd love to know what he thinks.

He'll just be like, Joining us on the phone, the man that did the tattoo and the tattooist, famous Dave from Morrinsville. Good morning. Good morning. How are you doing?

Very, very well. Thank you. Now, Vaughan's already Facebook stalked you to see if you've got any mutual friends. We've got lots of mutual friends. Being from Morrinsville? Yeah, awesome, awesome. Yeah, I haven't been in for my tattoo yet, though.

What do I get? You would have done a fair share of Willie the Waiters, that little Waikato draft. Yeah, that keeps things ticking over. That's your bread and butter. Willie the Waiter of the Waikato draft logo. So how long did the Ashley Bloomfield tattoo take? Because it's very nicely done.

Yeah, it took about four hours to design and tattoo. Wow. Okay, so do you have to just search up a whole lot of photos of him? Yeah, well, like, yeah, I just found, I just kind of had a bit of a look through and I really liked that one with the hair flowing in the wind. Yes. Sort of a Clark Kent vibe to it, right?

A bit of Superman there with the glasses and the hair. Yeah, yeah, it's great. Very stately. Very stately. That's a great way to put it. When people come in, Famous Dave, do you ever ask why or what the thought is behind it or you just do it? Most of the time I just do it.

I've just got into that habit. But I know with Sherilyn, she's great fun and most of her tattoos reflect her quirky sense of humour. Wow. She just wanted to pay homage to Ashley. Yeah, she spent lockdown by herself. So she went a little scare crazy and I guess Ashley became her highlight of the day.

Yeah, yeah. He did for a lot of people that one o'clock briefing. We were all tuning in for that, weren't we? Whereabouts on the body is the tattoo? It's on her leg, on the outside of the calf. Yeah, it looks like a calf.

Okay. Oh, that's the other leg behind it. I was just looking at the photo. I couldn't work if it was an elbow, but it's a knee from a different angle. Right. What else have you done recently? Is this your first sort of COVID-related tattoo no one else has got? Yeah, that's the first sort of COVID-related one.

Yeah, it's a big market. Yeah, she stayed on after we did that tattoo. She stayed on and started another big session. So she was with me for eight hours yesterday. Wow. Are we allowed to ask what the next one is? Or is that sort of like a secret between a tattooist and the

recipient? Yeah, I think it's fine. It's a montage of photos she's taken while out on her walks recently. Oh, that's cool. So that's kind of like lockdown. Everyone was going out there and doing the walks for their little daily exercise. And no one's got any Jacinda tattoos yet?

I'm thinking you're in tomorrow as well. Yeah, not yet. I'm waiting for them to come in. She's from there, but it's hardly a... I'm going to send Clark Gayford in for one. He needs to lock it in on the skin with ink famous Dave from

famous Dave's Tattoo Studio you can find him on Facebook thanks so much for having a chat to us this morning oh thanks a lot for the call you guys have a good day all good you too mate This podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here.

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