ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 5th May 2020

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

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Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Two minutes past six. Zero cases, New Zealand. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, baby. Yes. Good work. I'm going to be upset if it's like two or something oh no hey hey hey hey hey hey don't do that i know i know but you know don't do that please yeah there's many tests like what did they because was this from the weekend was there like

less testing we uh weekend just before theend Okay right Two to three day situation Isn't it But this is from our lockdown This is Yeah It shows that The results from our lockdown Good isn't it

That's good Yeah Because even the likes of Hold on Italy New COVID What cases May

We'll go third Because it's May 4th here at the moment Okay Oh my god What Two days ago Italy reported 474 New deaths Wow there at the moment. Okay. Oh my God. What? Two days ago,

Italy reported 474 new deaths. Wow. So they're still having nearly 500 people die. You don't hear as much because it's mostly America taking the spotlight there. Remember I showed you that picture where

everyone's in St. Mark's Square in Venice again? Yeah. It's packed like it always was. They're wearing masks but still. Russia has had 10,000 new coronavirus cases.

Good Lord. Wow. So we're doing good. Yeah. We've just got to keep going. Yeah. Keep the, what do they say? Physical distance?

Nah, nah. I was trying to get nautical on it. Eye on the horizon? It's like steady the ship, eye on the horizon. Keep get nautical on it. Eye on the horizon? It's like steady the ship, eye on the horizon, keep the course. Keep the course? Is that a thing? I don't know. Nautical sayings.

I'm going to Google nautical sayings. You may have seen already online, you may have heard Ash just mention in the news bulletin, Taika Waititi. Yeah. Directing a Star Wars movie. Now, Star Wars is moving into a new era. They're saying that the Skywalker saga is done. Right.

So he's going to be able to write whatever he wants? Well, he'll have to stick to established rules, what's deemed canon, and then deal with tens of thousands of angry nerds. I know. That's a big thing to undertake. Because you can't please everybody with Star Wars. No.

You please me. God, the minute there's a lightsaber, I'm like, yes, I'm on board. Or the Millennium Falcon or a cool-looking spaceship or a helmet. A helmet's all it takes. Oh, yeah. Or Mandalorian. That was great, wasn't it? Yeah, it was amazing.

Loved it. Okay, well, the Tom Six. Well, he was in Mandalorian. He was, yeah. You could totally tell the ones that he, the episode he directed. The last one. Yeah, because there was like a bit of humour in there. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So the top six dealing with this news this morning. Yes, we're going to be delving and doing a deep dive. We're not. Is that Vaughn Smith code, but I don't know yet. We're not quite sure Of what exactly it is But there'll be six things You've got 20 minutes mate

Done Easy Sort it out Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM Rule number one Wow

I don't know if it's rule number one But it's definitely Top five rules Okay Of driving a truck Yep Truck drivers at the moment On the road

They'll be running through The top five rules Of driving the truck What are the top five rules of driving the truck. What are the top five rules of driving a truck? You've got to be wearing short shorts. You've got to be wearing stubbies. Shorty shorts, yep. You've got to have a thigh exposed. You've got to have a monster can of V

in the cup holder. Yep, yep. That's another one. Is that another one? You always take it from a guy who knows. You've always got to know how tall your truck is Oh dear That's one of the big rules I remember when dad drove trucks Right

He used to say You've got to know How tall you are Because we used to go Along the Auckland Motorway Oh yeah When I was a kid

And he'd be driving the truck And I'd be like How do you know You're going to fit under that bridge He's like You always know how Because this was before There was lights now

That are like Too tall Yeah I've seen those Because there were A couple of situations Where trucks tried to I saw those flashing once It are like too tall. Yeah, I've seen those. Because there were a couple of situations where trucks tried to... I saw those flashing once. It was like too tall and I was like

yes, what's going to happen? Because it's for something coming, right? Because I saw it flashing and there was no one under it. And I was like, is that me? No, it means that the truck, like a K-back has set off a... Right. Something's gone through the laser.

Yeah. And so you just... And it sets off that light to say something in here. Because it might be that somebody's driving along there and normally they're fine, but they might have a digger on the back. Because that was one of the ones. Yeah. That was a good one. I mean, for us, completely unaffected,

that was great. Because have you ever thought it would be cool just one day for shits and gigs? Like, for example, in your Honda, in your little Honda, you ever thought it would be cool just one day for shits and gigs? Like, for example, in your Honda, in your little Honda, you just put it like out the window and just put a big

bamboo pole. But how would I get that big a bamboo pole into the Honda? Well, get a big bamboo. No, but how would it fit in the Honda? It would have to be

wind down the window. It would have to be wide. No, you wind down the window and stick it out. So it's sticking up. So I drive all the way there with the bamboo sticking up. Yeah, or pull over and then put it up. No, you're saying, okay, pull over and put it up,

but where was it before that? Am I just driving with it like a... Yeah, you drive with it sticking out. Don't do that. Forwards. Do a retractable pole. Retractable is like a telescopic. And then so you put it up and then everything goes off.

What a dumb laugh. And everyone's just like, oh, my God. Is it? I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy it. Why is that the dumbest laugh? You're setting off the laser and the sign that's like too tall. And then flashing lights.

But you're not because you're a Honda. And then you get pulled down the retractable pole and be like, safe. And then flashing lights. But you're not because you're a Honda. And then you get pulled down the retractable pole and be like, safe. And drive away. You've got a retractable pole and that's the best thing you can think of doing. That's just the start. Hey, buckle in guys.

I've got a retractable pole and I bought you silly ideas. This sounds like the start of a great YouTube channel. Retractable pole. Retractable pole. The life and times of my retractable pole. It starts out as a joke, and then one day you're in a retractable pole. Getting married. You see a kid struggling in the water, and you're like,

retractable pole, we've just been common jokers until now. It's time to be a hero. And then you retractable pole out. The kid grabs that retractable pole in, hero. Brilliant. That'll probably get you off the rest of your community service you got for putting that pole out in your car. And then people find out that the retractable pole used

to make homophobic jokes. I was gonna say again, who gets the medal? The retractable pole or you? Well you because the retractable pole's just been labelled a homophobe and been cancelled. Right. Okay. Right. That was a journey. So anyway, know the. Okay. Right. That was a journey. So anyway, know the height of your truck. That's a rule.

Truck drivers know. Truck drivers. Do they write it on their dashboard? That's rookie. That's entry-level truck driver. That would be embarrassing. If another truck driver jumped into your Hino or your Scania. You've got a Scania.

I'd have a Scania if I was a truck driver. I'd have a long-nosed Mac because they look like a real truck. Okay, yeah. Wait, I'm googling fancy trucks. I reckon there's probably

some truck drivers pulling over for a Volvo. A play with themselves in the rest area. Getting out the retractable pole. With this chat. They... Fancy AC wheel.

You'd drive a Volvo, I reckon. No, because I feel like you're being mean. No, I'm not being mean. Volvo is a very nice truck. Yeah, you'd definitely drive a Volvo, I reckon. No, because I feel like you're being mean. No, I'm not being mean. Volvo's a very nice truck. Yeah, you'd definitely drive a Volvo. This just reminds me of the cam magazine that Dad used to get.

There was a centrefold truck in every thing. We used to have truck posters on our walls. That's weird. They always put the smaller trucks, and I'm like, we don't want these. Do they have the height? We want 18 wheelers every month. Yeah. Do they have the size of the truck and the centrefold? Like, do they have the size points? We want 18 wheelers every month. Yeah. Do they have the size of the truck and the centrefold?

Like, do they have the height? I think it had, like, the axle, the tow weight, the brake horsepower, that sort of thing down on the bottom, like a little hot. Have you found out what brand of truck you want? No, there's a chrome one. I just want what this one is. Oh, you do some work. So, anyway, you've got to know how tall your truck is.

Yep. Back here again. That's, like, truck do some work. So anyway, you've got to know how tall your truck is. Yep. Back here again. That's like truck drivers right now. Truck driver. Oh, no, you're driving. Don't text. I was going to say text and know how tall your truck is because they'll all know. Oh, they'll all know.

Because you've got to know what you can fit under. Well, that wasn't the case in Papakura yesterday when somebody, and this is, I read the story and then saw the picture. It was a higher truck. So we've got some rookie at the wheel. You don't jump into a higher truck without knowing your height. How tall your truck is. Come on.

Get out the old retractable tape measure, not the retractable pole, and measure how tall it is because you can't fit through a 2.2 metre limited drive-through. And that's what they tried to do. They got stuck. They got stuck. They got stuck in the Papakura drive-thru. Did they get stuck under the pole that stops you getting stuck under the roof?

No, they got stuck under the roof. Oh, no. So they obviously hit the dangly post and that shook, but they thought nothing of it as it scraped along the roof of the high-ace unit on the back and then they got to the next bit, and, yeah, they got wedged under the roof.

Oh, God. That's how bad we all need fast food right now. Yeah. We're running a... And, look, to be honest, that looks like it's even pushing down on it. So they... Oh, you can't see what the clearance is on the sign next bit. It looks like a...

Did you say a Kenworth? I'm going to get a Kenworth T680. A 2020 model. Kenworth. You'd probably need some blocks Kenworth T680. A 2020 model. You'd probably need some blocks on the pedal. Yeah, because they can't reach. Oh yeah, that's badass. That looks like it's going to slip. What would you have painted on it? Because that's the only thing you've got to have a bit of art.

I'd have it matte black. The whole thing matte black. You'd have the whole thing matte black. I'd probably do that thing where I put a quote on the back as well. Have you seen those trucks? On the back of the truck. Yeah, what would you have? That's got to be a curtain slider though because it can't be contained.

There hasn't been a place to pull over in ages. Give me a break. That's not... That's an excuse. That's not a positive. It's a quote. From who? Shakespeare? Because I want to stop all the tooting. Yeah, I'll just put Gandhi underneath.

Right. Just to give me a break on the roads, because he runs away, he's beating. The more you toot, the less convenient I'll drive. Yeah, basically, yeah. Right. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Wow, very exciting news for New Zealanders and Star Wars fans

and fans of movies alike. Taika Waititi is confirmed to be writing and directing a Star Wars movie. So did they announce this because it's May the 4th be with you? May the 4th be with you, yeah. In America. Star Wars Day. Okay. Lots of exciting announcements.

Disney Plus getting all the goodies. So you can watch all of the Star Wars movies on there now. Right. Yeah of exciting announcements. Disney Plus getting all the goodies so you can watch all of the Star Wars movies on there now. Right. Yeah, pretty big day. Is he writing it by himself or is he going to sit down with No, I read who he's writing. Well, this is the thing. If you're going to write a Star Wars movie, you've got to sit down with

whoever's in charge of the universe at that time. Dave Filoni, I think. God himself. He'll be there. And Dave Filoni, he wouldn't dare, would he? No. He wouldn't dare go in there without Dave Filoni, I think. God himself, he'll be there. And Dave Filoni, he wouldn't dare, would he? No. He wouldn't dare go in there without Dave Filoni or God to confirm that you got the story all right. But somebody else, sorry, I don't know exactly who

he's co-writing it with, but yeah, somebody else's. No, I just think that's good because then a little bit of pressure off you, you know. It's not all on you. And a scapegoat, is that what you're saying? Yeah. Always important to have a scapegoat in your work. Especially in the

Star Wars universe. Yeah. Could have someone to blame, it's always like the departed director or the guy who's dead now. Exactly.

Yeah, also very New Zealand of you to have a scapegoat. So the top six ideas for a Kiwi themed Star Wars movie. Number six on the list

is called Star Wars, A Hard Case Yarn. I've just Googled who he's writing it with. Okay. Christy Wilson-Cairns, who co-wrote the screenplay for 1917, which is a fantastic movie. Okay, she writes a fantastic

action. Yeah. And that's the thing, we don't know anything about this, what part of the Star Wars timeline this is happening in. Yeah. But it won't have any, maybe it won't have

any of the old favourites. She'll be the second woman to write a Star Wars movie. A woman called Lee Brackett was co-writer of The Empire Strikes Back.

That's a great one. That's the one that we can all universally agree upon. For the Ewoks. Can we? Okay. Oh, yeah, cute. Oh, I For the Ewoks. Can we? Okay. Oh, yeah, cute.

Oh, I love the Ewoks. Is that Star Wars people don't like the Ewoks? Nah, the Ewoks are right. You can find anything someone in Star Wars as a Star Wars fan isn't going to like. I've got time for the Ewoks. Okay, good. They wouldn't have been able to take down those pesky AT-STs. Yeah.

Without them. What Star Wars movie is the Ewoks? I'm going to just watch that one. And they were in Mandalorian 2A. Ewoks! What were those things in Mandalorian with the big and they stole his ship?

What were those things? No, those are Jawa's. So confused that you liked that. Those are kind of cute though. Because they're like real naughty in the original Star Wars. Yeah, they're real naughty. But he kind of like won them over in the Mandalorian. Yeah, he did. Yeah.

Yeah, they're real cute. You'd like Mandalorian. It's so weird that you liked it. I didn't know if I would, but I did. Okay. Yeah. Baby Yoda. Yeah.

I heard something about Baby Yoda, but now I can't remember. Are we cancelling him? Yeah. Was he racist? He used the force to touch somebody. He's been cancelled now. The top six ideas for a Kiwi theme. Is it about Hasbro's releasing a Baby Yoda edition of Monopoly?

Is that what it was? No, that wasn't it. Oh, that's news. Sorry, continue. The number six on the list of the top six ideas for a Kiwi theme Star Wars movie. Star Wars, a wasn't it. Oh, that's news. Sorry, continue. The number six on the list of the top six ideas for a Kiwi-themed Star Wars movie, Star Wars A Hard Case Yarn. It's set in Gisborne.

Right. It's pretty funny. Number five on the list of the top six ideas for a Kiwi-themed Star Wars movie, Star Wars The Ford Awakens. It's about someone getting an old falcon going again. Wow, did you just hear that regional bogan start up in the studio? That's so funny.

That's funny. I thought it was funny. They push started. Because falcon? Yeah. This is the millennial falcon? Yeah. That was really funny.

Good on you. I wish I had it at number one now. Number four, Star Wars, how's it? And that's how it starts. How's it? How's it? Well, you'll never believe this, and then it launches into a good story. Number three on the list of the top six ideas for Kiwi-themed Star Wars movies,

Star Wars, The Return of the Jedi per capita. Basically, anything about New Zealand could be taken down to per capita. We love a per capita. It makes us seem a lot better. Well, it makes us do better at the Olympics. Yes, far better. Far better. Number two on the list of the top six ideas for Kiwi-themed Star Wars movies,

Star Wars, Attack of the Cones. Well, it could be traffic cones, but I was thinking like marijuana. I immediately went there too marijuana yeah you know somebody's had a few too many and they think they're bleeding from the ears and their mates are trying to calm them down but that's only making things worse when you start seeing all the lasers shooting oh you lose your mind you would and number one on the list of the top six ideas for a kiwi themed star wars movie are star wars what do you guys think of New Zealand so far? It's a good one. It's basically,

yeah, they just keep asking everybody what they think of New Zealand so far. Because that's the thing, we don't have

tourists. I know. At the moment, yeah. I don't know about you, but I'm really itching to ask

people what they think of New Zealand so far. Do you like it? Do you like it? Is it okay? Is there anything we can change?

Have you been to Queenstown yet? It's lovely. Have you had a pineapple nap? Yeah. Oh, God. Have you had an LMP?

What have you guys had to deal with so far? That actually just felt good to say that loud. Yeah. Really good. That is today's Top 6. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM.

Home School. Well, during isolation, during lockdown, we've been sending you some homework. Just to keep the brain juices flowing. The grey matter. Yep, exactly. I just imagine the brain's a series of valves and it's all like... And juices, yeah.

We have been sending you homework and yesterday we gave Luke the topic of the ginkgo tree. Now, this is a tree that you might be noticing lately because you might walk past a tree and it's stanky and you're like, where's that stank coming from? We've got one. I ran over the berries while I was mowing the lawns and

the smell is unreal. And that's what got me thinking. I learnt a little bit about the tree and I thought what a fascinating subject for Luke to enlighten us more on. Good morning. Good morning, Luke. How was your homework?

Did you get this done early or did you leave it till the last minute? I worked 13 hours yesterday so I probably did this about 11.30 last night. Oh, and you're up. Good Lord. And you're up so early. Before the summer. I'm about five minutes out from work as well, yeah.30 last night. Oh, and you're up. Good Lord. And you're up so early. Before the summer.

I'm about five minutes out from work as well, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, God, you're working. I just can't comprehend. It's hard work. Long hours. I'm not used to that. I just don't write this out more than four hours a day.

I'll be honest with you. No, I love my job. It's all good. All right, Luke, you have 60 seconds to present your topic, the ginkgo tree. Go for it. And a goal. Smelly tree, smelly tree.

What are they feeding you? Smelly tree, smelly tree. It's not your fault. They keep trying to cut you down. Obviously not their favorite tree. You're 270 million years old. And you're not friends with those with noses. Made in here tree, they say.

But your real name is Ginkgo biloba. Smelly tree, smelly tree What are they feeding you? A smelly tree, smelly tree It's not your fault Yes! I like that. Creative presentation.

Creative presentation. A plus from me for that. Presentation. Creative presentation. Creative presentation. A plus from me for that. Thank you so much. It was good. You covered the fact that it's 270 million years old. Yeah. Yeah, you may have only learned about three things in that song. It was eaten by the dinosaurs.

Yeah, it was. It's an old tree. The very last of its species too. There used to be more, but it's the last surviving of its branch. I'm not surprised that we have it. This is an unintentional group presentation here. Thank you.

Yeah, no, no, that's right. You know, you've introduced the group. You've got up there and caught the audience's attention, and I'll swoop in with some facts. Yeah, sorry about that. No, no, no, it like it. It was great. I liked it. Original presentation. It was great.

Thank you. Did you read why they keep planting them? No. Okay. Interesting. Very, very hardy in an urban environment.

Most trees have an expected life of 10 to 15 years in like a built up urban environment but these guys will last significantly longer. Yeah, but then you've got to put up urban environment. But these guys all last significantly longer.

Yeah, but then you've got to put up with the stank. The stanky berries. So I'd rather get a new tree every 10 years. Get a beautiful golden leaf come autumn. But yeah, the stanky berries. Yeah. Brilliant. Luke, A plus from me.

A for me. Thank you. It's an A. I'll give you an A. Oh, thank you. Oh, Vaughn wanted more facts. I feel like Vaughn definitely wanted it. I didn't want more facts.

I would have been keen for the second chorus to be dropped. Yep. And hit me with another verse of facts. Oh, look, I'm sorry. He worked 13 hours yesterday. Well, you've got to find a balance between schoolwork and work. Look, brilliant. Hey, you get a homeschool certificate.

We're going to hear back through later in the show from Megan's homework. About flamingos. Yes. I'm very excited about that. You're not so much. Well, we, Vaughan and I, both knew they were real from the get-go. Yeah, but they're fascinating. Well, I've caught up.

I know they're real now too. Fascinating creature. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Binge watching. We're doing a lot of it during lockdown. Too much. I mean, it's not just lockdown, is it? I mean, we were doing it prior to.

We're saving the world by binging. We're staying inside, saving the world and our beautiful country. Have you had your Powerball yet? I'm always going on about my Powerball. I don't care. I'm always going on about my power bill. I don't care. I'm always going on about my $50, $60 power bill. Yours is going to be huge. I got my power bill yesterday. How much?

$260. Whoa! Oh, but you did a lot of baking. I know, there's a bloody oven. That would be a cheap month for the Smith House. I was like, ouch! I wonder what ours is too because it hasn't been super cold so we haven't been super cold,

so we haven't been running the old heat pump as much. You know, we never use the heat pump. You never use the heat pump. So that's not heat pump power? No. Wow, that oven. That must be oven power. Because you would do, yeah, right.

Ouch. Oh, well, that's it. I'm not doing it anymore. What about the joy you brought to people? Yeah. Okay, it cost me too much money. Sunday was a big day. I had the dryer on on Sunday for the sheets.

Had a power spike. You just looked, you sounded and looked exactly like your mother when you said that. You could not have done a better impression of your own mother. Sunday was a big day. Oh, I did have the sheets in the dryer. They weren't going to dry out the lines. Oh, no. Yeah, but I

definitely had more power in March, April. Like, look at that. It's my biggest bar graph. Do you never have the joys of a sun-dried sheet? Oh, Carl, you simply must. I live in an apartment. What about get a retractable pole? Oh, my God.

We need to bring that up at least twice more in the show. We joked about it, but so far we've found so many uses for a big telescopic retractable pole. How much do you reckon you could stick out from your apartment before you got told off? How much of a retractable pole? But also, what's the air quality

like? Get all the buses and the bloody trucks polluting my sheets. No, I just have a couple of clothes horses, and I just chuck the sheets over there. And normally they're dry, but Saturday was rainy. It was a bit, yeah, they weren't drying. So I was like, just a little fluff up in the dryer, which turned into me forgetting to stop the hour cycle. Oh, blow out the power bill.

Okay. Nah, see, we're... Goodness me, we spend a lot of money on... Have you just logged into your... We spend a lot of money on power. No, I just went into online banking to see how much the Mercury bill was. So it was $400 in April. Yep.

In March, it was $460. Okay. In February, it was $400. Jesus. So you haven't used any more. In March, it was $460. Okay. In February, it was $400. Jesus. So you haven't used any more. In January, it was $500.

Jesus. But that's the thing. When you're running a hydroponics unit in your ceiling, Yeah. your power does go up. They told me I'd be mad

not to keep that extractor fan on the meth lab too. So that's, you know, that's worth every dollar. It is. Okay. So binge watching during lockdown, that's worth every dollar. It is. Okay, so binge watching during lockdown. It's happening.

It'll happen after. It's going to happen all the time. It's actually not that bad for you. Really? A neuroscientist, is that the right one? Yeah. Yeah. A neuroscientist.

Or a brain one. Yeah, a brain one, has said that she believes it's good for our brains. It's good for our mental health because, especially at the moment, there's a lot of stresses, there's a lot of anxiety going on. If you're watching something, it's going to relax you and make you forget. I think that's probably an escape, isn't it? Yeah, it is an escape.

Like drinking. Yes. It can have significant psychological... Psychological. Almost. Psychological. Psychological benefits. Yep.

And we should definitely be taking advantage of them. But then, okay, so then there's that. But then if you're sitting on the couch all day, I'll shut the blinds because I don't like glare on my TV. I'm not getting any sunlight. I could literally spend all day. That's not healthy. Okay, well, no, you've gone to an extreme there.

She's talking about a couple of hours. You should put yourself in the dryer if you can't get any sunlight. Yeah. You know, a couple of hours after you've done everything else you're supposed to do in a day. A little bit of exercise, a little bit of light. Right. A little bit of socialising, a little bit of TV.

A little bit of unnecessary anxiety about the whole world and its current situation. And then turn on the TV. I like to give that an hour a day. Actually, a show that we love is coming back to Netflix. Is it this weekend? Friday. Oh, my God.

I love this show. That was with Christina Applegate and that other lady who was great. So good. Oh, that one! Yeah, did you watch that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved it. Yeah, it was great.

So that's back. When you said dead to me, I couldn't remember what one. So this is season two, right? Also, yeah, yeah. I loved it. Yeah, it was great. So that's back. When you said dead to me, I couldn't remember what one. So this is season two, right? Also, something that's great. It's on TVNZ On Demand, Normal People. It was the UK book of the year 2019 or 18. I just heard somebody say they'd finished that. It's really good.

What is it? What kind of genre are we talking? It's about, well, it's kind of like drama. Okay. So it's about an on and off again, like couple over the years. It doesn't sound like something you'd be into. I know, but I just read all this hype about it online. So I was like, I'm going to watch this.

And yeah, it's quite good. I'm into it. It's a bit sad in parts. It's from the same writer who wrote Conversations with Friends. Oh, do you guys not read books? Don't worry about it. No, we just don't read webpages While we're on air But it sounded like I knew it

Yeah it did That's all you need Well I'm reading an article Just about retail And fast food In New Zealand over the last little while Okay this is depressing The stats For retail in New Zealand over the last little while. Okay, this is depressing.

The stats for retail in New Zealand in April, down 79.8% on the previous year, which is obviously not a surprise because we were locked up. Yeah, for sure. In our houses. But that is like, that's depressing. Yeah. People, you know,

there are businesses out there absolutely hurting. You've only just been able to open up your cafe this week. Yeah, get some money going through. But people still have to pay leases and stuff. It's crazy. So 20% is like essentials, right? So like things that you could still buy online. So an ASB economist has worked out that in the first week of Level 3,

last week, New Zealanders ate their way through five weeks' worth of takeaways. So you remember we actually broke that story about the Maccas, didn't we? We talked to the guy from Maccas. Yeah. 300,000 burgers in a day. That was like doubling. That was McDonald's burgers. That was just McDonald's.

Yeah. And also we got out of lockdown on Tuesday. So it was six days. Yes. It's not a full week. Exactly. But just so they can obviously work out looking at the spends. So we ate five weeks, but we only went without for four.

Yes. Four or five. Some of them were five. Yeah. Four and a half-ish. Right. So we caught up. Yeah.

We basically, for takeaways, not for obviously, yeah. And they're not obviously, that's what this article goes into. They're not expecting, you know, people to go out and splurge in other areas like takeaways. Like, you know, buy new cars and stuff. Yeah. And, you know, people are obviously going to be a bit cautious with their spending and their money. But yeah, in that first week, we spent five weeks worth of takeaway money in one week. We're just really desperate not to cook for ourselves.

Yeah. To go a couple of nights without making something. For a lot of people, I guess it was maybe glaring that they can't cook. Yeah. Maybe they learned. Maybe they did, yeah. But they still were just, yeah,

had that itch that needed a scratch five times as much. I was looking at a stat yesterday and I know that everyone hadn't participated but 46% of people had said that they'd got takeaways in the first week. So if 46% of people had spent five weeks worth of

Yeah. That's nuts eh? The sheer amount per person. I'm actually kind of proud of New Zealand like that. It makes me proud. amount. Yeah. Per person. I'm actually kind of proud of New Zealand like that. It makes me proud. Yeah. Yeah. God, I need the gym to open, eh? I just want the gym to open at level two. Hurry up.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. We'll pop into the producer's booth. Intern Anya, executive intern Anya, you've made an observation about new producer Jared. Yeah, it's disappointing to say the least. Wow.

Now, new producer, Jared, are you still, tell people about your Tinder, because have you still got lots of matches? Yeah, I broke 400 the other day, which I was pretty proud of. What a heartbreaker. This guy. Sitting on 403 at the moment. Right. Have you plateaued at 400.

Yeah. So I told you guys I was going to break 400, and then I got home and I'd lost like 20 matches. Oh, no. People got a bit fussier when it went back to level three, did they? Probably. Or they might have seen the video and just didn't like the cut on my jib. Oh, I see what you're saying.

That's another nautical saying. Just talking about nautical sayings, that's another nautical saying. Now, okay, 400 matches. Have any of these materialised into anything? Not as yet. Like possible, okay. Some possible, fingers crossed. Oh, okay, yeah, right.

Got 400 in that bloody Excel spreadsheet. Pretty much, pretty much, yeah. Susan, Sabu, H, and then status. They just got rid of how close people are to you. You could filter by pretty much how close they were. They should have that in Tinder,

a little spreadsheet. You can put their picture in and then their name and their little tidbits. And what you've talked about so that you don't repeat yourself. Yeah, a little spreadsheetbits. And what you've talked about so that you don't repeat yourself. Yeah. A little spreadsheet section. Right, okay. Well, anyway, that aside, Tinder Casanova here.

What have you noticed about Jared, Anya? Well, it's only taken four weeks, but he started to BYO an obnoxious item to work. Oh, okay. It's this giant mouse pad and it's coloured. What is it? What game is it? Now borderlands Oh borderlands. I don't even know what that is It's actually one of my smaller mouse pads Gaming sized mouse pad. Yeah. How big yeah. Oh, this is my laptop mouse pad and I've got my desktop mouse pad Which is double the size. Is it a bigger than a sheet of A4 paper?

That looks about the same size as A4 paper. About the same size. About the same. Could you just overlay a piece of A4 paper, Jared, over that, please? Just for... Hold that up for the jury. As you can see here, evidence piece. It is wider than an A4 paper and about a centimetre longer?

Or no, it's been the same length, shorter. And he's running a two-computer operation in two different rooms, so he's, like, flapping it around between when he's walking in between. Oh, so you take it in. Yes, that's my issue. Yeah. Oh, right. Okay, that's odd.

Does it go home with you, too? Yeah, it goes in my laptop bag. What? Yeah. I don't want other people using it. We've got mouse pads here. Yeah, but they're, like, a third of the size. It needs a big mouse.

It needs a big mouse. It's a big mouse. Size queen. Such a size queen. A lot of size queens on the show. All of them. Okay, okay. Okay, so where do you want to go to from here, Anya? Either like get bigger hands.

Like a smaller mouse pad. I just can't believe that you're trucking it around everywhere you go like dedication yeah it's got to be done is this a germs covered thing or were you doing this before um it's just an ergonomics thing because all right oh okay is it i get that yep but it doesn't have an ergonomic bump um no they get in the way they get in the way. They get in the way. They detract from my DPIs. Okay, right. Which is a mouse thing. I don't actually know

what it means. Right. No. I don't feel like I know you well enough yet to really just reference you. No, stop roasting him.

He works on the show. You're allowed to roast him. Go. Absolutely go for it. So you're going to bring your geeky gaming headphones in? No.

Good. No, they're too expensive. It was at a plug-in. It's not the same. Oh, they're too expensive. They're too nice. Too flat. Oh, okayin. It's not the same. Oh, they're too expensive. They're too nice. Too flash. Oh, okay.

They're too good for us, I see. Maybe if I produced Drive, I'd bring them in. Oh, Bert. What about the mouse? Have you thought about BYO mouse? I have, but then I'd have to program all the extra buttons, and it's just not worth the hassle. Not worth having to get in touch with IT to get admin.

I'll do it myself, obviously. Programming. Wow. Okay. Maybe on Tinder, don't mention the mouse pad. I tell you what, you're going below. I think this is going to be a sub 400 day. Yeah, I'll be back.

Back to single digits when I get home. People are going to be unmatching. Look at that mouse pad guy, are you? Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. There is a new trend. This is on TikTok.

It hasn't popped up on my TikTok, but I've seen a news story about this. Awesome. The news is in TikTok land now. Popping up on the social media app TikTok. How about this TikTok trend of people purposely wetting their pants? I haven't. What is your algorithm? Because I haven't seen that either.

No, this was another news story that said this new trend. But I think, is it like two people doing it and then it's on the news? No, there was quite a few people doing it. Yeah, right. All dudes. Surprise, surprise. Oh, is it? Yeah, right.

Ew, not down for that. No. This is food related. So during lockdown lockdown people have been making and we'll call it pancake cereal. So you're making a bowl of teeny tiny little pancakes so you get your batter

and get like a icing bag. Fill it up. Cut a tiny little hole and do little dippity dots. Little dots in the pan. So looking at this picture it looks like the size of a little coin. Well, you can do it whatever size you want. Some people do all different sizes.

Some of them are real tiny and skinny. Oh, yeah, like actual. Those are really tiny dots. Like actual cereal that you'd put milk with. Because some people were doing them a little bit bigger. Get too soggy. Well, no, then they actually have... Oh, those are like...

Those are my jam. Those are like the cookie time bucket cookies size. Yeah, those are like blueberry sized ones and they're having it with blueberries and some maple syrup. What's that? Is that a block of butter? It's a slice of butter. Holy moly.

So the butter melts. Oh my God. Oh my God. So I don't think the idea is you don't want to put milk with them. And they're so small, they only look like they've been cooked on one side. Yeah. So you don't need to flip them. You don't really need to flip them.

Oh, my God. Like a trumpet. Tiny little dots of pancakes. Oh, someone's put M&M's on them. Okay. This is a quickly do this before we get out of level three. That looks like a good pudding. Yeah, that looks like a good pudding.

Oh, my God. What a great idea. Because we just got to to i don't want to brag okay smith's just did get a new non-stick pan i thought you were gonna say toasty maker tell me more no because i got a toasty maker pre-lockdown and god it was great during the lockdown i missed toasted sandwiches oh how good it is it's so good. Took me back to teenage after school years. What did you have on them though? Well, controversial because I love a creamed corn cheese. With onion, that's my favourite.

Or bacon, yeah. And sweet chilli sauce in the middle. Oh my God, it's amazing. Not too much creamed corn though. And creamed corn is lava hot after a trip to Toastyville. You've got to cut in and pause. Touch, pause, engage. Like a scrum.

I'm so glad you like cream corn. Yeah, it's really controversial, but spaghetti and baked beans, no place in a toasted sandwich. Oh, spaghetti, yes. Maybe. Tomato, that's your dangerous item. If you're taking a tomato into a toasted sandwich. Always cut it into little bits, otherwise you bite the edge and get a whole flop of tomato on your face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are you buying a new? No, we've got a new nonstick pan. And this is the first nonstick pan that we've purchased as grown-ups. Like we had one when we were flatting, but we scrubbed it. Right.

You've just been using Mankiel pans all this time. Mankiel pans. Okay. Mankiel pans. No, we had pans, but they never said we're a nonstick pan. They were just a pan. Well, why are we buying a pan that's like-

I like to cook primarily because it came as a set. Oh, okay, right. A set. We very rarely use it. The only thing we use it for for a while is poaching eggs because it's a shallow- Yeah, right. It's more of a poaching thing. So anyway, the nonstick pan.

Oh, didn't know myself when I was doing pancakes last weekend. Well, this is what you need to do this weekend. Little mini pancakes. Mother's Day? Mother's Day. Mother's Day mini pancakes. Pancake cereal. Hit it.

Right. I mean, it'll take you forever. Well, is that enough for mum? Yeah. I can't take any more to my mum. She's not in my immediate bubble. No. Yeah, just make a card and do pancake cereal.

For the other mum in our house, I could not in my immediate bubble. No. Yeah, just make a card and do pancake cereal. For the other mum in our house, I could make Sade pancake cereal. Is that going to get me off the hook? You're in trouble. No, no, no. I'm just saying for Mother's Day, you've got to get some things underway. Technically, you need to do it. Dads, just another timely reminder of if your kids aren't going to school,

they might not be doing the usual crafts associated with Mother's Day. So you're going to have to step up. So you might need to run a craft afternoon or a crafternoon as I call it. Work the kids to make a Mother's Day card and or present. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest

news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly. Come on! I come bearing my own music for the background. Oh, do you? Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right.

What happened? I don't know. Stop. Is it buffering? I don't know. Stop. Is it buffering? I don't know. I wasn't anywhere near the pause button, but it seems to have paused. We have run a PoliMoli 420 edition.

If you do not know, 2020 is the year of the New Zealand cannabis referendum. It will be part of the general election, 19th of September, 2020. This will be part of the general election 19th of September 2020. This will be four months away. This will have the question of whether or not to legalise the sale, use, possession and production of

cannabis. The form of the referendum will be a vote for or against the proposed cannabis legislation and control bill. We'll get some sweet tax dollars out of this toe, eh? And we might need them. Yes.

There was an economist on the news last night talking about it, and he said this isn't going to be like the silver bullet, but it certainly would help. Yeah. Because you're basically taking it all off the black market and making it a taxable product. Yeah. And, I mean, we can't use them as exact examples,

but like Denver, when they legalised and people were purchasing legally and paying tax on it, there was a lot of tax money to be made. But then some would say that would be countered by the negative effects. Yeah. And then some others would say, well, what about alcohol? That's got its fair share of negative effects, but it's not legal and it's taxed. You get that at

the supermarket. Yeah, you can. Well, this is why it's a referendum. This is why they're asking the people. So we ran our own poll, polly moly. You said, I mean, heck, save the money with a referendum. We'll take care of it. And all the fuss, just go on these results. Yeah. Okay. So we said, oh, what was the first question? Okay, so do you support the legalisation of cannabis? Very simple question. Yeah. 65% of people, and we had over 17, nearly 18,000 votes, said yes, 65%. Is that roughly about what polling is?

I think so. What you've seen, most polls around 55, 60% in favour? Yeah, 35 said no. Okay. 65 said yes. But I mean, if you're not going to go out and vote in the general election and the referendum, then it's not going to do anything for you. You might think yes, and you might be for it, but you've got to vote to actually prove your support. I just had a thought.

Because we've all just done our taxes for the end of the tax financial year. Imagine a weed dealer trying to do his taxes. It would be like any business. Yeah, how is it different? You'd put it all into mind your own business or zero. And you'd be like, what was that?

And you'd be like, sale. Dude, you know what's done. Put it as a like. They just put it off. Oh, no. That's the other thing. This is going to become a business.

There'll be business people doing it. Yeah, right. That might not have necessarily been for it, but can see money to be made in a product. So,

there's that side of it as well. It'll be a business, not just a dude rolling it up in tinfoil and throwing some shoes over the power lines. Not necessarily people that even indulge.

Would you be able to do like a weed brownie? No, I don't know. At like a cafe? You'd have to have a special cafe. Is this for medicinal or? What? Is this for medicinal use? No, medicinal use is already, that's already all right.

Right. That's already given the tick in New Zealand. You'd have to get a special. Yeah. Would that be an extra thing to do when the council comes around and does your health and safety? It would be like an alcohol license. Yeah. And then there'd be age restrictions and stuff.

Okay. So we also asked, would you be more inclined to try cannabis if it was legalized? Because that's the other big thing. A lot of people who are against will say, but it'll be a rush for people to try it. 63% said not really. And 37% said yes. Right. They would be more inclined.

And our next question in PoliMoli, would you be more likely to consume cannabis over alcohol? 82% of people said no. Wow. Let's still go for a wine or a beer or some spirits. Yeah, go for a long white raspberry over a doobie. Fair enough. And 18% said, yeah, they're more likely to choose cannabis over alcohol.

Yeah, right. Have you ever tried cannabis? 68% of people said yes. And 32% of people said no. Do you remember like growing up when a politician, they'd ask a politician and they'd almost just like not, but now it's like, yep, I did it at college. Yeah.

One time even Obama was like, yep. But like back in the day, it was like, oh, you wouldn't say that. Yeah, you distance yourself with time between, if you've ever tried it. So yes, I mean, 70% of people said, yeah, they've tried it. And 30% said no. Which is, you know, back when we

asked if it was legal and you were more likely to try it, it was about the same but the other way around. Yep. So, that's our PoliMoli results for a little bit of a look into the 2020 New Zealand Cannabis Referendum. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We've heard

lots about people breaking up and having a rocky road in their relationship. Rocky road? Yeah, it wasn't about physical rocky road. During lockdown. Rough patch. Rough patches. So we've got five date night ideas.

They're having a bit of a Snickers. We saw divorce rates from China went up. They're having a Mars bar, aren't they? Oh my God, okay. They're having a picnic. I don't get it. I'm just saying chocolate bars now. I'm trying to make it sound like it's a bad part of your relationship.

Oh, okay. They're having a real bounty bar. Yeah. You know, the seven-year twitch? Do you know... Not what it's called. Can I just side note? Aero bar.

No, there's a chocolate bar that you'll need to eat. What is it? Hey, hey, hey. It's gone under the radar. That would have been better if you'd been like, side note, y'all. There is a chocolate bar y'all need to eat. Summer roll.

Megan, are you kidding me? The summer roll is a chocolate bar you all need to eat. Summer Roll. Megan, are you kidding me? The Summer Roll is... I'm done. Are you 80? The Summer Roll. If you got a Summer Roll when you were a kid, this was the noise you made. So...

Cam ham. Cam ham. Cam ham. Can I get some support from the producers both, please? In your defence, I haven't had one, nor seen one for some 20-odd years. Why would you? I think you need to revisit.

No. It's a terrible chocolate bar. So good. Okay. Well, I just chucked it out there. I was brave. When did you even see one? Was it at a dairy where they don't clean the shelves?

It was at a dairy. Yeah. That thing's 80 years old. Shredder was good. Summer roll. Shredder was good. Chocolate bar. It's nougat and peanut, and then it's got chocolate and coconut on the outside.

Just try it. I might, look, I might be, because I've come around to the coconut flavoured things. Right, okay. I could be persuaded. Okay, well back to five date night ideas. If you're having a bit of a rough. You can get 35 of them. What?

What? You can get 35 summer rolls. Oh, it's out of stock. Why? Because they're so good. Yeah, for summer rolls. Oh, it's out of stock. Why? Because they're so good. Yeah, for $14. I don't need that. That's a great deal,

but I don't need that. It is because at my dairy I charge at least $1.50 for those. And the rest. And they're dusty. Five date night ideas. If you need a date or if you,

even if you don't need to reunite the spark, if you just need a date night, these are something you can do without actually going out anywhere. This is so cute. First one. Have a dinner date somewhere in your bubble. Thought about doing this,

but the weather hasn't been great over the past couple. Yeah. And then it's a lot of effort when you could just stay in your lounge. Do it in the garden or if you've got a camper van, flash. Or just like if you've got a camper van flash or just like if you've got a normal van put like tea lights. If you've got a camper van or a normal van.

I'm just thinking of a car with like room in it. Right. Or you could put the seats down in your car in the boot. Could we squish into the back of a station wagon

for a dinner date? Yeah. Nah. Yep. The trouble is if you're parked in your driveway though it's not a good view.

You're just going to look at the grass or something. But you can put tea lights, put a little mat in there. I don't think you should have an open flame in a vehicle. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Okay. We'll move on to the next one. Have I just killed the romance? Have everybody could have an energiser headlamp? Make an

outdoor cinema? You'll need... You've done this, haven't you? Yeah, well, I didn't. I had it done for me. So Mr. Toyboy did it for Valentine's, didn't he? He got like, he borrowed like a full-on outdoor projector.

But I've seen on Instagram there's little portable ones you can get that make your phone or like a projector. Oh, yeah, but that's just crappy advertising. Does that not work?

I don't think so. Drop shipping. Drop shipping. You know my thoughts on drop shipping. Put a sheet up there, project a movie, or you can just put a laptop up outside and make a little. Bring the TV outside for the night.

Yeah, extension cord. Oh, you know what? The bugs will be all over it because it's light. And it's warm. Yes. Okay, are you just going to poo-poo every. And then you sit down and you need to change the volume or the channel, but you need a retractable pole so you don't have to get up.

Yes, and then you can poke it. But also the retractable pole could be used to hold the sheet. Yes, get two. With another retractable pole across the top. Good times. This is cute. What's on that retractable pole money? Write a love letter or a poem to each other.

You should also put it in the letterbox because. It's weird though because I feel like I've been, maybe I'm being too cynical from the outset. But I think if I did that Sade would think I was being weird. Why don't you just do it and try? Dear Sade. You should do it and report, just

slide film it and get what she says. I know what you mean. She'd be like, what's wrong? What have you done? What have you done? What have you done? What do you want? Can you do it and basically i want to hear her what if she was like oh my god bony this is like amazing i don't think she would i gross myself out when i said bony too call me horny uh create a cooking challenge get two baskets of random ingredients and make up a...

No, that's going to end in a fight. Yeah, because mine would be better. Really? Guarantee it. What if there's no meat in your basket? Well, go and get some meat and put it in the basket. And have a paint and sip night with your partner. No, that would be an argument as well because I'd say,

ooh, like that. Yeah. Because she's not used the right grain No, that would be an argument as well because I'd say, ooh, like that. Yeah. Because she's not used the right grain and then that would be all on as well. Okay, well, there's no hope for you, but maybe someone else. But maybe those could ignite a spark. I want to do a paint and – I've only got pencils though. You could do a pencil and see.

Yeah. A drawer and – you'd call it a drawer and drink. You could do a life drawing of Mr. Toyboy. A pencil and sit. Yeah. You'd call it a draw and drink. You could do a life drawing of Mr. Toyboy. A draw and drink. Why is that funny? Have he perched up on the ottoman or the puff naked and you drew him and then he hopped down and robed and you disrobed and then he drew you. And that would be weird. A one-on-one life drawing

class with your partner would be so kooky. Oh my god, that's hilarious. Just for the record, there's absolutely no way he would be down for that. And I'm not good enough for drawing. I would draw and I'd be like, and Shana would be like, are you finished?

And I'd be like, I think so. Knowing she'd stick her head around and be like, oh, my God. I don't look like that. Yeah, there's no way that you're going to draw them that they'll be happy with. You do the ass too big. My ass isn't that big. You do the ass too small. You're like, I've got more ass than that.

That's a losing situation. Yeah, it is. ZM's Fletch, Va losing situation. Yeah, it is. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I am a university lecturer in Miami, at the University of Miami. He does a business analytics class. Okay. Ooh.

And at the moment, of course, everyone teaching from home. Yep. He had all of his class on Zoom. Okay, I played Fortnite on Friday night with a teacher. Yep. He had all of his class on Zoom. Okay. I played Fortnite on Friday night with a teacher. Yep. And he was, I was asking, this is just a random matchup. I was asking how like teaching from isolation and stuff's going in New Zealand.

Were you wearing your cute little headset? Yeah, I was wearing my cute little headset. That's how I was talking to him. Yeah. So, and he was saying, oh yeah, it's all over Zoom. We've learned our lessons about Zoom. I was like, oh, what lessons have you learned? Having primary-aged children, I found the Zoom lessons amazing.

I think all the teachers are doing a great job at adapting. Well, my experience has been that the teachers at my kids' school are doing a great job adapting to a situation that's new to everybody. Yeah. And he said, well, yeah, I teach teenage boys, so them keeping their clothes on is a bit of a challenge. I was like, you'll have to start again. Because from how I interpreted that, they're naked on Zoom. And he's like, you interpreted correctly.

Like, that's this big joke. If you can get in the Zoom call and you get on the screen and you're naked, he's like, it's this big. And then one guy did it, and so it became a thing. And everybody tried to, they'd be like off camera and then they'd start talking. So anyone who had a speaker view would go to them and then they'd walk on and they'd be naked.

Would you have had the balls to do that? Absolutely. I wouldn't do it now. No, neither. There's no part of my life where I've been like, you know what's going to be a, this is a boys only school, by the way. Yeah.

So it wasn't like they were trying to impress the girls by being naked. I don't understand that. I've never been thought you know what I'd get my mates going. Seeing me naked.

And my teacher. I'm going to make my teacher illegally uncomfortable by making them see me naked. Right. Yeah. Wow.

And he said they're doing this all the time. So he said now the deal is it's camera, no cameras. Okay. The only person that's got a camera is the teacher. Oh, so they've ruined it. And microphones have to be enabled. So if you've got a question, you can pay and then you can.

You can still have some fun with microphone only. With audio only. Yeah. I don't want to be sexist, but have we had this problem with all girls? No, I wouldn't imagine so. It just doesn't strike into our minds, you know? It's not the first thing we think of.

Hey, I'm going to get naked. You know what Sue and Barbara would love? Seeing my baps on the Zoom. Oh my God. Well, it would be easier. It would be easier to show Sue and Barbara your baps rather than like... Oh, wait. I Well, it would be easier. It would be easier to show Sue and Barbara your baps. Yeah.

Rather than like. Oh, wait. I thought you were calling. Pumping up interview. Yeah, okay. Your nungs. Oh, yeah. I was referring to the breasts.

Yeah, obviously. So, okay. So, this is a problem. But what happened with the lecturer? In this situation, John screen shared. Yeah. And he forgot to shut down one of the tabs he had open. Oh, amateur.

The top of his browser, his internet browser. He had multiple tabs open, some pertaining to the subject at hand. Okay. And other ones that showed he had Google searched busty college girls. Oh, no. Ew, no. And also had the star in the tab indicating it has been a bookmarked site. Oh, okay.

Right. So he goes to that one regularly. Yeah, Busty College Girl. It says Busty College Girl FU dot, dot, dot. So I'm not sure what that could stand for. Right. Anything on the stage. Yeah, right.

He has resigned. Oh, really? Because all of the students started TikToking. Right. Anything on the stage. Yeah, right. He has resigned. Oh, really? Because all of the students started TikTok-ing. Yeah. And recorded it and put it on TikTok. And Snapchat and Instagram. Do you think if that was you, you could have explained away that? Yeah, Busty College Girl fundraisers for something very important.

Fellow student who has chronic disease. Yes. I'm a bad guy for supporting the busty fundraiser, am I? Really, that news story is the bad people for even referring to the cleavage. It's got nothing to do with it. You could say busty is an acronym for something. Big. Broke university.

Student. Student. Tries yoga. Exactly. something big university student student tries yoga exactly it's a fundraiser for the yoga girl with leukemia yeah no no the girl is doing yoga to raise money for the leukemia leukemia great okay see there you go still got a job yeah and 100 belie. But okay, this must happen a lot, right? Especially now. Especially now. Screen sharing, university presentations. We want to take your calls. I'll wait $100 at M9696.

When has something accidentally gone up on the screen? Like have you witnessed this happening at uni, at a lecture or at your workplace when the boss plugs in the laptop and there's something there that shouldn't be? Or maybe at home? Because it's very easy just to airdrop to the TV or screen share to the TV now, isn't it? Yeah. A university lecturer in Miami has been outed on a Zoom call

as having a favourite bookmarked busty college girls. Fundraising. He's fundraising. We assume it's fundraising. It starts with F-U. It's bookmarked and screen shared. Oopsie daisy. He's resigned because he's been the subject of various TikToks. Well, he was teaching college girls, Busty or not. He taught them all.

Which makes it inappropriate. Yeah. So we want to know what's popped up on your screen shares, maybe lately, especially with all these Zoom meetings happening. Yeah. Kelsey, what popped up on the screen when it shouldn't have? I'm a primary school teacher. Okay.

So it was me experiencing the pop-up on the screen. And I was pulling up like a YouTube clip to teach some hip, cool, fun math song for a new concept. Okay. And you know how the ads pop up at the start of the video? Yeah. Yeah, it was the trailer for the new Fifty Shades movie. Wow.

Yeah. So I've never moved so fast in my whole life to unpassed from the screen. And then they were all like, what was it? That's the thing, right? It's your YouTube account. So the ads are targeted to you. I mean, an adult female of a certain age group. So they're like, sure, we're into a bit of Fifty Shades.

It doesn't matter what the video is coming after that. The YouTube doesn't know you're teaching a class of primary school kids, does it? No, not so much targeted for them, eh? Did you end up going to see the movie, Kelsey? I don't think I did. I think the first one made me really uncomfortable watching it with other people. So I decided not to go to the other ones, yeah. She didn't miss much.

Megan's like, oh, that was nothing. Child's play. Wow. Okay, Kelsey, thank you. No worries. Vaughn and I are both very uncomfortable now in front of our colleague Megan. We're going to go to Holly. Holly, what popped up on the screen when it shouldn't have?

I was a tutor at university and I had the screen projected to the class. And I had YouTube on and it popped up a YouTube notification saying do you want to use your backup email address? And it was mine from when I was in high school and it was 6iHolly90210

at Gmail. 6iHolly 90210. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Oh, my God. Pretty tragic. I remember we've talked about your childhood email addresses on the show before, and it was a highlight.

It was an absolute highlight. Oh, my God. It's really bad. And how did the class react? No one said a thing, and I didn't say anything. Like, no one addressed it. It was just so awkward. Just awful. But the thing is, we've

all got that email address so we can all relate to your pain there. That's why no one said anything. Alright, Holly, thanks for your call. Jasmine, what popped up on the screen when it shouldn't have? Hi, it wasn't actually a screen. It was the speakers in my flat lounge.

My flatmate was connected to them and he went to his room and he pulled up an adult video and we can all hear it. And do you think he was in his room? Like, why can't I hear this? Why can't I hear this sound? So, hello?

Oh, no, we can hear you. Fletch was acting as your flatmate, trying to enjoy the audio element of an adult. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure that was probably going on in the bedroom. We were just sitting in the living room, got cramping out laughing. It was really loud, and it was a very distinctive introduction

to a website that we heard. Oh! Yeah. Right, right. Noises, yeah. Yeah, right. Okay, wow. Oh. Yeah. Right, right. Noises, yeah. Yeah, right. Okay, wow. Brilliant.

Jasmine, thanks for your call. Thomas, what popped up on the screen when it shouldn't have? Hiya. So, obviously, I've been searching up my adult content

and then a while afterwards, I got into an argument with my mum. I don't remember what it was about. I think it was something about fruit or something. But, so, I pulled out my Safari to prove a point to her and, obviously, argument with my mum. I don't remember what it was about. I think it was something about fruit or something. So I

pulled out my Safari to prove a point to her and obviously the last thing I searched up was not mum material. There were mums involved but not your mum thankfully. Our mummy but yeah. Thanks Ego Thomas.

Brilliant. Oh so good. My science teacher put her screen up on the projector and popped up her search for naughty nurse outfits. No one could ever look at her the same. She has brought this kind of fancy dress. Maybe. Maybe. I had a page up for Brazilian waxing

while I was doing a presentation to my superiors. Oh, okay. Look, that doesn't sound as bad as some of these other ones. Yeah. That's nothing, isn't it? Yeah. I work in IT and I close my eyes every time I start to enter a website with the letter P at the front of it on clients' computers

because you do not want to see what website they've been to that starts with P. That's cute. Yeah. If you're typing in portal though, there's three words to avoid there. Last week, a friend of mine forgot her son had a Zoom class meeting. She got out of the shower and went clothes shopping in the washing pile on the couch.

She turned around and gave her the class a full frontal nude. Yes, funny. Pretty hilarious. And a reply to our Instagram. This person shall remain nameless. But their boss, when they screen-shared on a Zoom meeting, had a daily spreadsheet logging details whether or not he'd woken up with a boner that day.

I have so many questions. I have so many questions. How long had this been going on? Why does it matter? Why does it matter? Who was going to see this collated information? Is it a medical thing? Could he have been suffering from erectile dysfunction

and he was asked to keep a log? Is that a thing? Was he doing a PhD on... Stiffies. Hello, my name is Stephen and I'm here to present my PhD. It's called Nocturnal Stiffies. Hello, my name is Stephen and I'm here to present my PhD. It's called Nocturnal Stiffies. Colon. When you wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy.

Wow. Nocturnal Stiffies. Yeah. I need to know more now. I need to know why he was running a spreadsheet. Don't look at me for answers. I've got what I've got in front of me, and I've never kept a chubby spreadsheet.

Maybe I will. Maybe I will. Stop saying how many different names you can throw in there. Stop it. I'll be semi-organised for my upcoming spreadsheet. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's time for Fact of the day is some languages don't have words for left and right. Huh. What do they do then?

Just point. They use compass directions. And do you remember a while ago I said when I get out of a car, I like to know which way north is? Like when I go somewhere I've never been before, I like to know which way north is. Like I kind go somewhere I've never been before, I like to know which way north is. Like I get a kind of like do a quick workout of which way is north. Do you have one of those cars with a

compass? No. I love those though. You know those city four wheel drives? It's like you're pointing southeast. You're like, cool. Or if it's got a little, just in the little corner of the rear view mirror, it's got like an N. Yeah. And then it'll go E. And you're like, oh, I see what that means.

Yeah. I see now. S. Yes. W. You betcha. Okay, that's compass directions. For example, Australian Aboriginal people, they don't say left and right.

They use compass directions like north, south, east. Oh, right. Oh, east. So if you were driving in a car and someone was like, go right, you'd have to be like, go west. Okay, so for example, you've got that bell. That's on your left-hand side. But I have to say where the bell is, I say it's on the left.

And you would say your left or my left. But if I said to you, the bell's to your north. You'd go Straight ahead. Why did you just go straight ahead? That's not north, that's east. Megan, you know that north isn't always just at 12 o'clock, right? She's like, I'm just not getting anywhere. No, but that's, yeah, okay.

I get you. But I know, what if I didn't know where north was right now? But you would. Why? Because you've been brought up without left and right, so you would have known that So I just constantly need to know which way I'm facing. Yeah.

So people from Polynesia, the original people native to the Mexico area, so the Mayans, Namibia, people from Bali, they use predominantly geographic languages, which means they don't say like left, right, or it's just in front of you.

Yeah, right. They always use like a compass direction. Same, same, different. That's the T-shirt. Yeah. Yeah, but you can, yeah. So it has to be where you're facing, not just like north is in front, east and west are to the sides.

No, no, no, no, no. You're not the compass. You're not the compass. Okay. It's the actual north. Well, my way seems easier because north's in front of me. No, because I would still need to say two o'clock. No, no, because you're just renaming left and right.

You've just renamed left and right. No, it's like when you're trying to get someone to look at someone at a party, you're like, it's your three o'clock. So you just wait a second and then you're like. Which that works because you said your three o'clock. Three o'clock. Well, it's just like always to the person. So if I say to you, it's north, you'd look straight ahead.

No, no, no. That's not how north works. God, I'm glad she wasn't in charge of like getting around the globe. Oh, God, landing at Normandy would have been a nightmare. Yeah. Go to the north of the Americans. Their north or my north? The north.

You know, straight over there. Which way are they facing when it's north? My north right now. Straight ahead. But no, you would say straight ahead. But this is a different. Yours pivot. Your north changes, but this is a.

You don't need to know. You don't need a career in the armed forces. That's good. Hey, last night on the chase. No, I got through to the final bit. We were talking about that just before. That was pretty. I'd do so great on the chase. no one got through to the final bit. We were talking about that just before. That was pretty genius.

I'd do so great on the chase. My north or your north? Yeah, he's like, the north of England, the country north of England is also known as, Megan's like, who's north? North. Yeah, but what way are you facing? This is important.

Was it your north? Okay, so we'll change it another way. What country is it? England's 12 o'clock. What? Who's 12 o'clock? Am I facing towards France? Left or right?

Up or down? North. Yeah, okay. I see what you're saying here, Chase. It's a trick question. Spain. So today's fact of the day, there are some cultures and languages without words for left or right.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. If you've got half a bottle of wine in your fridge, first of all, why? No, but sometimes this happens if, like, I always think, because I prefer a white wine and I'll do a red wine and be like, no, I'm going to be a big girl and I'm going to drink a red wine. And then I have one glass and I'm like, oh, eh, and then I just leave it. Yeah, right. What's that like?

What's that like? And then you go back and you're like, oh, this has gone kind of brown now and it's not very nice. It's vinegary. Yeah. It has a bit of vinegary. But even if you've opened and you've drunk half a bottle and you've left it, the air already starts to react with the wine and it can make negative flavours.

So how long can you leave it for? I don't know. Even if you put the lid on in the fridge. What is the? Well, if you hone it. It's not a problem. If you hone it, it's no idea. I honestly.

Have you ever opened a bottle of wine? I guess you're both wine drinkers, though. But every now and then I'll find a half-drunk bottle of white wine in the fridge and I'll be like, this is a waste. See, I opened a bottle of red during the lockdown and there was probably maybe like a glass left in the bottle and I was like... Just finish that up.

Oh, just have it. I didn't want it. I didn't want it at all. But I was like, just finish that up. Oh, just have it. I didn't want it. I didn't want it at all. But I was like, well, I'm not wasting this really good wine. It was nice red wine. Did it still taste good? Oh, no, I didn't leave it in the fridge. I said I didn't want to leave it in there.

So I drank it at the time. Yeah, at the time. Because I didn't want to leave it in the fridge. I was like, well, I'm not going to drink this again. Just getting ready for bed, like turning the lights off in the kitchen and everything. I was like, uh-oh. There's a bit of wine in the bottle of this bottle. So I poured it into a glass and I took it to bed.

And I drove to the bed and Shade's like, what are you doing? I was like, well, I was just going to sit there otherwise. No point wasting a one night. Was this pre or post brush teeth? It was pre brush teeth. Okay, yeah, good. No, it was post brush teeth. I just brushed my teeth again.

Did it just make the wine taste cold? I didn't even notice it. It was pepp-brushed teeth. Okay, yeah, good. No, it was post-brushed teeth. I just brushed my teeth again. Did it just make the wine taste cold? I didn't even notice it. It was peppermint red. Yeah. I mean, this was my fifth bottle of wine, so I wasn't that too fuzzy. Sure. Well, if you do manage to have some wine left over, maybe it has gone yucky and you don't want to drink it,

a little bit aerated, there's some really good uses for wine rather than tipping it down the sink. Okay, if you have a party and then you know the next day you've got bottles of wine everywhere that have been like caps left off. My friends have yuck bottles of wine like Chardonnay. I know but you're not drinking it so this is a good use for it if they leave it at your

house. So this is a non-ingesting use. Yeah. Or like bubs and they've left the lid off and it's like flat the next day. So first it's a grease the next day. Okay. So first, it's a grease remover. If you've got some wine, white, not red, you can stir it up with baking soda and you can put it on

like oil patches on the floor. It doesn't say close, but maybe you could try it on close. Outdoor pathways, patios, it will get oil, greasy patches out. So in the garage, if your car's dropped a bit of oil, you can get it out with leftover. Or under where the barbecue is on the patio.

Oh, yeah. You drop a chop or a sausage, and then your decking's got grease for the next 10 years. For red wine, it's a good compost booster. So the compost bugs and stuff like wine as much as we do. So you can put red wine because if you put it into your compost, it activates the good bacteria already present in the wine and helps your plants and stuff prosper and do better. Could I put it in my pot plants?

A bit of red wine in my pot plants? And then you walk out there and you hear a couple of drunken worms having an argument. Woman worms like, you were looking at her ass! And he was like, I'm not his face! Because in his defense, both ends look the same.

What end is the ass? What end is the face? Bugger if I know. And I'm not a drunken worm. It's there. There must be one or the other end. It's not a hole in the middle. The one that goes north is the head.

Yeah, there's definitely the direction they're going. No, but you know how you can like chop a little bit? In case if you're digging in the garden, you accidentally spayed one of the worms and then it can grow back. Can it only grow back if it's the head end? Well, that's got to be confusing. Or do both ends grow back? If you spayed a worm, it's dead.

I also think, I don't know if that's all worms get spaded in half and can grow back. Oh, is there not? I don't know because I remember being told that as a kid, but then I've spaded my fair share of worms. Do they just tell me that so it doesn't feel so bad? They just curl up and go hard and die and then answer all over the next time you see them. What are we talking about?

Yeah, there's a thicker end. Mouth. Yeah, the, there's a thicker end. Mouth. Yeah, the anus is the other end of the little end. It's right at the tip. Yeah, it's right at the tip. I would have assumed the anus was sort of a fifth back. Midway. Same.

That means that when it eats, it's got to go all the way to the end of the worm. All the way through. It's digesting. That'd be like if we had to out of our foot. No, we've got lots of metres of stuff. Yeah, but that's the same with the worm. It goes from tip to tip. It'd be like if the food went in the top of our head.

Like we hit a hole. And then we pooped out our toe. God, I hope no poop went out the end of my fingers. That'd be an awkward handshake. Hey, please, I'm sorry. I had a curry last night. Yeah, it didn't all go down the main worm shaft.

Fabric dye. Obviously, if you spill red wine, it can stain. So, if you're wanting to tie dye, especially an old t-shirt, then tie dye, right? You tie it up and then you dye it and then when you untie it, it's all patchy.

It didn't get through to everything. Yeah, that's something you can do. Or if you washed a T-shirt with one red sock. Oh, no, that doesn't work. Yeah. Because I've still got one red T-shirt, don't you? Yeah. And you can freeze it in little ice cube trays

and then use it for cooking. What was that one you were talking about, scrambled eggs? So, yeah. That sounds disgusting by the way. You can use leftover bubbly like champagne for scrambled eggs. I can't imagine how

that would be nice. It makes the eggs moist, fluffy and delicious. Well you're drunk so you don't get really good. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. the podcast. Home School. Well, we've been setting homework all through the lockdown. And we set Kim some homework yesterday.

Good morning, Kim. Good morning. Now, your 60-second presentation for the class is on flamingos. Yes. It was actually really interesting. It was good. Oh, okay. Kim. Okay. It was actually really interesting. It was good. Oh, okay. Welcome, Kim.

Okay, I'm excited for this. Okay, well, Kim, you have 60 seconds starting now. Some of you may have recently learnt this, but there are real-life flamingos and they're not just garden ornaments. These pink birds that love standing on one leg live in South America,

the Caribbean, Africa, Europe and Asia. If you've ever had a burning passion to run on water, then get ready to get jealous of the flamingo, as they can do just that, as their weeped feet help them to run on water just before they take off. They are very social birds that live in massive colonies and they have raging dance parties.

They do this by stretching their necks out, flapping their wings and making loud squawks, not dissimilar to every club on a Saturday night. You might think that's a knobbly part on their wings and making loud squawks, not dissimilar to every club on a Saturday night. You might think that the knobbly part on their legs and knees, well, au contraire, my friends, that is actually their ankles. Their knees are higher up under the body. Now, you're probably wondering, why pink? Well, it's because of the food they eat.

This is due to a mix of shrimp, algae and crustaceans. The chicks can't feed on their own for the first few months until their beaks curve. So the mother and father flamingos both produce a bright red milk that they feed them. This milk is produced in their upper digestive tract and can leave the parent flamingos washed out in colour, a feeling every parent can relate to.

Haha! Yay! Great 60 second presentation! That's so good! Great energy, lots of facts! Megan's mouth during that was just like, whoa. That's so good. Great energy, lots of facts. Megan's mouth during that was just like, whoa. They're so cool. I've seen them run on water before they fly.

I knew that they were pink because of what they ate, but I didn't realise, like, the parents got all washed out and they had to feed their kids. I went onto YouTube and there's actually a real, if you like pimple popper and that kind of thing, there's a really cool video to watch of the parents feeding their chicks. How is that like pimple popping? Is it

gross? Obviously the milk is red and the milk is dripping all out over the chicks. It looks like blood. I'm giving you an A+. Yeah, I enjoyed that. A+. Fantastic stuff. A+. A+. You didn I enjoyed that, A+. Fantastic stuff. A+. A+.

Great presentation. You didn't even give your own presentation earlier this morning on the smelly tree. Yes, mate. A+. But that's because it was my area of expertise and I felt somewhat let down by the facts. Kim, fantastic effort.

We're going to send you a homeschool certificate of achievement. Congratulations. Thanks, Kim. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, achievement. Congratulations. Thanks, Kim.