ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 5th October 2020

Episode Date: October 4, 2020

NZ Ice Cream Awards  Top 6: Bugs  What did you get caught doing at work?  Anna Burns-Francis  Where's My Medal?  What do you insist your partner keeps?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!  Poll-y Moly: Intimacy EditionSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee on the go. And Megan's reeling at the fact that she is not followed by the Prime Minister of New Zealand on Instagram. That sounds... give the context. That is the context. No, she follows you too, but she doesn't follow me. Um, excuse me, I wrote a massive thing in support of her when she got pregnant. Remember that?

You did. That was great. Always been like a, yeah, supporter of the Wahine. And she's just like completely shunned me. Good. She followed. I mean, Vaughn, I can understand because you've got history. But Fletch.

Fletch has got history. This old man's a Labour voter from way back. Oh, is it because of your dad? He's got posters and stuff. Oh, it's totally because of John. It's not because of your dad He's got posters and stuff Oh it's totally Because of John It's not because of her Fletch Now I'm going to have to be

That person that goes Um excuse me Why are you not following me Oh my god Don't be that person Have you ever been hit up When you unfollow someone Yeah

It's horrible Why And you're like I did that for a reason Obviously Because a reason I don't want to have to Discuss your face

Well up until like What two years ago you couldn't hide people from your feed. That's a big reason why I unfollowed people, just because I was like, oh. But now you can mute them. Yeah, now I just mute people. I got hit by somebody saying, did you mute me? Because when I see who watched my stories, you're never on it. I'm like, no. I said, it just must have fallen to the back.

I said I don't spend a lot of time watching stories. I literally found out that someone I've known for a long time that we're all mutual friends with has unfriended me on Facebook. But I would rather bring it up because I'm just going to turn the mics off and you tell us, okay? Just wait there, podcast listeners. There will be silence, but it will only be momentarily Really?

Unfriend of me Why? I don't know but I'm not going to ask Ross Moss in the background There's that Cheeky Wow okay Yeah but you don't ask

Well I believe the Prime Minister is making an in-studio appearance before Election Day So that would be the perfect time Would she be allowed to have, like, DMs with Justin Trudeau? Because, you know, they're kind of buds Could she be like, whoa, Trump Blah, face Like, sick face And then Trudeau's like

I was going to say you would you would save that for a phone conversation but even those are recorded oh yeah they're fully recorded you'd just be like yeah i don't know how you'd slag off trump do we have some sort of right under the official information request act to like request to see all of her dms from the last like since she's been prime minister i don't know these are all good questions for next time we talk to her. Okay, save them up. Okay. Save them up.

We'll lead in with, so Megan noticed you're not following her on Instagram. Here's some Instagram questions. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletchvorna Megan. The podcast.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchvorna Megan. Good morning. Good morning. President Trump. We just call him Donald here. The Don. The Don.

Doing better by the sounds. Mm-hmm. Do you see the photos released of him hard at work in a hospital? No, I did not. So he was seen, there were two photos. Somebody zoomed into one of them. He was just signing his name on a blank piece of paper. Are you joking?

No. No. Oh, my God. Because I saw Ivanka Trump shared one, and she was like, always working hard for the American people. Relentless. I don't know if it was that one or the other one, but they zoomed right in.

It was literally a blank piece of paper. Oh, wow. Yeah, working hard. I'm just looking at one. He's got like a black vivid in his hand. Yeah, well, you know, it's his a blank piece of paper. Oh, wow. Yeah, working hard. Oh, he's got like a, I'm just looking at one, he's got like a black vivid in his hand. Yeah, well, you know, it's his famous Sharpie. Yeah. That he altered the tornado with.

Remember that time, the hurricane? Yeah. Oh, that doesn't look much like a hospital, does it? Looks like a boardroom. Well, no, it's just, I think they have a special, like, for the president. Oh, wow. They've got like a special area,

just in case the president ever needs to go into a hospital, like, for the president. They've got, like, a special area just in case the president ever needs to go into a hospital. Oh, okay. So at a time when there's thousands of people needing hospital beds, there's a bed empty waiting for the president to get sick. Just in case. Interesting. We'll get you a chance to win cash before 7 on the show this morning.

We'll give you more details soon. Yeah, apparently, coming up in the top six, we're going to address, now this has been on the horizon for a while, oft talked about, that the future source of protein could indeed be insects. Hakuna Matata, Timon and Pumba, flip over the log, pick up the juicy nuts. We had, what did we have

in Cambodia that time? Crickets. They were yum. Crickets. I could eat a whole like popcorn. I could have eaten a whole thing like those. They were yum. Just the legs that get stuck in your, like, popcorn. I could have eaten a whole thing like those. They were yum. Just the legs that get stuck in your teeth. I don't know about straight up eating them like that, but, like, you can get tortillas and stuff that have ground up crickets, and I'm all due with that.

Like, if I can't. Yeah, because it's good protein, eh? Yeah. And it fills you up. Well, it could be a billion dollar business in another five years. Well, it's a bit more sustainable than other ways of getting, like, well, more sustainable than fish, isn't it? Well, yeah.

Because we've depleted the ocean. We keep dragging massive nets through the ocean and just eating them all. Well, I've got the top six bug recipes for the new bug food service, My Food Bug. Where you get sent all the ingredients and as well as a recipe card to tell you how to make these delicious bug-based recipes. You did the top six on the My food bag being for sale last week. Are you?

I'm on the take. Are you on the take? They are huge fans of this sort of nonsensical, often non-complimentary advertising strategy. Viagogo. It is a ticket reselling website. Oh, yeah. Remember concerts?

Oh, yeah. I was supposed to bring that up. But Via GoGo is notorious for being a little bit shady, and they've just been fined $7 million in Australia over ads and booking fees. Good. Because weren't our, who's our people, the Consumer Commerce Commission, whatever, weren't they taking them to court here? Commerce Commission. Yeah, and then't our, who's our people, the Consumer Commerce Commission,

whatever, weren't they taking them to court here? Commerce Commission. Yeah, and then they were like, oh no, we're not turning up or something. Or they were just like, nah, don't bother.

That's right, they didn't turn up. No, they didn't turn up or something. That's right. Did we smack them? Did we smack their bums for that? You're not allowed to smack them on the bottom anymore. Well, this is where it's all gone wrong.

Yeah, PC madness. This is why they're getting away with it because no one's smacking them on the bottom. Well,, this is where it's all gone wrong. Yeah, PC madness. This is why they're getting away with it, because no one's smacking them on the bottom. Well, they will not be getting away with it in Australia. So they're a Swiss company, and they've breached Australian consumer law. So if you're not familiar with Virgogo, they resell tickets.

But the ads and a lot of promotional activity would lead you to believe that they are the ticket sellers? Because they would buy the Google searches, wouldn't they? So you'd be like, I need to see whoever in concert back in the days of concerts. And Bear Gogo would up and come up first. Yes, and you'd be like, well, those are legit tickets. And often they were legit tickets.

Yeah, but reselling. There were a lot of people that were taking advantage of this platform. It was a scam. Yeah, absolutely. Scam hive. Yeah. You might get lucky, but there was a high chance you wouldn't. Well, you remember friend James, he got tickets to Pink

because he's a middle-aged woman and a 20-something body. And he got scammed on Viagogo. Right. And went to take the tickets on the night and they were like, sorry, these tickets have already been scammed. Yeah, because Viagogo don't care. No.

No, once you're there, it's tough, isn't it? And I just remember everybody was just told to stay clear of that website. So in Australia, they were, I mean, they're doing this everywhere. They were using statements like, only a few tickets left, which is deceiving. Because they only had a few tickets to start with because they're not the actual seller.

Yeah. They also misled people into buying tickets and including claims like less than 1% of tickets remaining. They had 27.6% of the price as a booking fee. Right. So that's how much customers were paying as a booking fee. Right. So that's how much customers were paying for a booking fee. That's crazy. But not only have they been charged $7 million, but they have also been made to continue a certain code of conduct

and participate in a compliance program. So in Australia, they're trying to stop this from happening again. Good. Because they have the scalping laws there, don't they? Yeah. You're not allowed to get any more than a certain, or maybe that's in Queensland. It's like 10 or 20% over what you paid for it, right? Yeah, which is good.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. All right. It's like, oh, I bought 20 tickets for my friends, but none of us can go anymore. That's why I'm selling these. Yeah. No one believes that story. Says everyone's selling a ticket on Trade Me, eh?

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Megan, a message has come in to our Facebook inbox. And I think we've brought this on ourselves, guys, is we've made ourselves bastions of small business. Okay. Haven't we? With Fisher Tank. Yeah, the small business startup competition. Yep, New Zealand small business. Ronica's been in touch. Okay. Haven't we? With Fisher Tank. Yeah, the small business startup competition.

Yep, New Zealand small business. Ronica's been in touch. Okay. Hello, Megan. I deal with the inbox. Yeah, you do. Everything should be addressed to Vaughan. To Vaughan. I sometimes tag the letter, Megan, and I say,

Megan, there's a message in the inbox tagged for you. And Megan, there's a message in the inbox tagged for you. Okay. But I'll read it to you now also. Hello, Megan. Congratulations on your beautiful wee man to be arriving sometime soon. Thank you.

I've just set up my small business of belly casting. It's called Little Prince. Prince as in P-R-I-N-T-S, not P-R-I-N-C-E. Prince. Little Prince. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Please help and support my small business.

Veronica Fletcher, you don't know what belly casting is. I'm imagining why you quit Google there and a giggle. I imagined because I know what body casting is. But yeah, so they actually like, look at this one, for example. That's actually. Yeah. That's actually what? That's sort of your typical belly casting vibe.

So you've got your hand, they cast the hands on the belly. You put the hands, like you could put your hands and then Andrew put his hands and then you could have the dog's paws, but you've got to convince the dog to sit there long enough. And then they cast it. Yep. And then you let it dry and then they just kind of wiggle it off and then you make a resin cast to go in

and a few decorations around the outside. Well, this one, for example, would look great in somebody's bathroom because they've used seashells around the outside. Around it, yes. Or maybe on the wall of the batch. Yes. To give it that nautical feel.

It feels very Kim Kardashian. Like, I don't know. I don't think I need to. Like, do I include the boobies? Yeah, I've seen those ones where they paint them. Some do the boobies as well. I think that's up to you. Because, yeah.

I don't think my boobies are very, like, I don't need to. I don't know if I'd want my friends to come around to my house and see my boobies hanging on the wall. Imagine if you guys came over and it's like, there it is. It's quite a detailed mould too. Yeah. Well, I've seen one and you could definitely even see like the little bits of the areola around the nipple. You could. You could see the dots.

Yeah, right. You know, like the follicles around that. It was quite intense. It's quite a big thing. A lot of people do this. Yeah. I'd love to know what they then do with it because I can't think of anyone in my life

that would want to see it. Not even my mum. She'd be like, what have you done that for? And imagine at like your 21st, your parents are like, we've been saving this. It's been in our cupboard. We look at it with love and memory. But we are now going to present to you

in front of all your friends here who are very understanding and won't at all mock you about this for the remainder of your friendship. The ballet casting of when your mother was pregnant, boobs included. There you go, son. And he's like, oh, this is going to take a while to shake.

I'm going to have to do something real crazy to get a new nickname after this. I've been scrolling down. There are so many people. So many people do it. I'd be interested to know if anyone listening has had it done. What did you do with it? Yeah. Did you wall mount it?

And what was the general feedback on that? Because I know people do, like people really miss their bellies. Yeah, right. I've even seen lately a couple of friends who have had babies earlier this year or got like a memory of this time last year or whatever and they were pregnant they were like

I don't know why but I miss the belly really yeah I guess well when it was in the belly I wasn't screaming constantly

keeping you awake so you might be like get back in there so maybe there's that whole thing the reminiscing of the time yeah right do you want to get one done

Fletch Veronica can probably do us all a deal we can hang it in the studio no we can have our pop pox missing of the time. Yeah, right. Do you want to get one done, Fletch? Veronica can probably do us all a deal. We could hang it in the studio. No. We can have our pock pocks. Our pock pocks. I'd be worried about how cavernous my belly button would look.

Yeah, right. Because what if a lot of plaster fell in there and it had a real deep... Does it get the hair on there? Do you have to shave? You'd have to shave your chest, wouldn't you? That's a good question. I don't know. You would have to be a hairless.

Otherwise, when they pulled it off, it would take all the hair with it. Ugh. Yeah. Ouch. Not good. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. The New Zealand Ice Cream Awards are on and there is more than 300, there's 316 flavours in this year's competition. Is one person going to have a taste of all of them? Or a panel? They must have to of all of them? Or a panel? They must have to taste all of them, right? They must.

They're going to judge them all. What a hard job. Do a lot. Do you have to, what would you, because you know when you're in the perfume section, they have that little bowl of coffee beans. What's the equivalent of that for a palate cleanse? Lemon sorbet.

Because usually isn't like a lemon sorbet a palate cleanser? But then you're already having ice cream. Then you make the next thing taste a bit lemony. It would just be a glass of water, would it? Or a green tea. Yeah, that could be a goer. Lime sorbet and palate cleansers. Lemon sorbet, orange sorbet.

Is ice cream a palate cleanser? Ice cream is apparently a great palate cleanser if you're eating spicy foods. Like if you're doing a hot sauce or the curry awards. You could have ice cream. You might use an ice cream as a palate cleanser. So does it work vice versa? Can you have a curry as a palate cleanser for the ice cream awards? Sorbet, bread, apple slices, banana, beko and pickles are off.

And citrus or tart flavours are used as palate cleansers. Right. Right. Okay. So there is, I guess I was like, do you just go, yum, that tastes good. But there's criteria. So colour, uniformity, distribution of inclusions, which is any bits in it. Yeah.

Distribution of inclusions. I would like to bring to the floor goody goody gumdrops. Yes. It's not distributed evenly through the gumdrops through the ice cream. What's that other one that it's not goody goody gumdrops but the cheaper version that they sell. It's another brand. It's

real yum. The lollies are better. More lollies. I'm going to go out there and say it's the ice cream much more. Yeah. More lollies. What is going to go out there and say, it's the ice cream much more. Yeah. More lollies. What is their goody goody gumdrops called? Because you're right, they're not allowed to call it that but I had that and it was really good.

It's up there. Because normally you know when you go for another brand, you're just like, I don't know about this. I'm really, I'm throwing the dice on this. You're rolling it. Delicious. Yeah, you are rolling the dice on it. I was eating the other day, it was, and it had hardly any little bits in it. It might have been a bed and jerry's. You're rolling it. Delicious. Yeah, you are rolling the dice on it. What was I eating the other day? And it had hardly any little bits in it. It might have been

a Ben and Jerry's. You know those slices they do? They're one of my go-tos. Ben and Jerry's. They're like a cookie dough. It's like a disc, like a biscuit. Yeah, right.

But it's just ice cream. I reckon I went half of that without any bits in it. I was like, I'm going to complain to someone. That's problematic. And then I ate it and I didn't complain to anyone.

Groovy gumdrops is what... Good, yeah. That's what much more cool their... Right. Cool their goody gumdrops ice cream. Well, yeah, distribution of inclusions is important. Right. This is in the ice cream awards.

Yeah, texture's important too. And sometimes more so than the flavour. Which would explain... Texture is important. That's why ice cream's far superior to gelato. Well, gelato's included in the ice cream awards, I have you know. They're different. Entirely different.

But that does explain why some of these flavours are what they are. We have... Hit us with some of these flavours because mind-blowing. Smoked garlic and white chocolate shavings gelato. No. No. There is... I love garlic and I love white chocolate ice cream, but not...

Not together? Nah, yuck. Korma curry? What, like a chicken korma? See, yum by itself. But it's quite creamy. Yeah, no chicken bits in ice cream. Is korma one where it's cashews ground up to make the creamy sauce?

Yeah, I think there's cashews in it, yeah. I'm not going to write that one off. You see, I'd try it on a little stick, like, you know, when you're like, can I just try that one?

Yeah. And then I'd probably be like, oh yeah, that's interesting. That's interesting. That's what you're saying. And then I'd go to my standard cookies and cream. It's not for me.

It's not for me. You'll do a Vaughan Smith and try every flavour there is at the ice cream shop. Yeah, but in my defence, this was, I'm imagining, the gelato reference the last week. Yeah, you tried like seven flavours. No, I tried four because they had the four political,

they had National Labour Act and the Greens. This is rollicking, they were doing that. Yeah, and I wanted to know which one I liked best because when you purchase one, it went towards their tally. So I didn't want to just jump in bed with the Greens. You jumped in bed with Judith Collins. I did. And your cookies and cream.

I crossed my usual political line for a little cookie crusher and cream or whatever it was. Yeah. Well, do you know that we eat 23 litres of ice cream per person in New Zealand each year? See, I'm not eating my 23 litres. How many are in those tubs? Two. That's two litres. Oh my God.

Oh yeah, no, maybe I'm not. Good Lord. I hope not. I'd have a few ice creams, but I'm not eating 11 litres of ice cream a year. That's a lot. Oh, 23 litres.

Not 11. 23 litres. 23 litres. Oh shit. 23 litres. 23 litres. Oh, shit. So like 11 of those tubs then? Yeah. So was there a winner? No, these are nominations.

Oh, nominations. Right, okay. But it's very serious because the winner obviously gets a massive boost in sales. But what about the garlic one? If they needed some taste testers, I'm down. Plain rice crackers are what they use for palate cleansing when tasting ice cream. That's what somebody said. Ooh, okay.

Sun rice crackers. With the, because I like the ones with the sweet chilli. No, no, no, no, no, no. Plain. Plain. Yuck.

They're a bit more-ish. I'd be like, this ice cream tastes like sea salt. Yeah. And rice. Yeah. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Great news If you always scratch and drop your phone We are living in the future They're gonna make them scratch proof A patent has been filed by Apple And it looks like it's working on self-healing screens

What the Like what is that That's like out of a sci-fi movie Yeah When they flash forward to 2040 or something I what is that? That's like out of a sci-fi movie. Yeah. When they flash forward to 2040 or something. I don't like that. That's creepy. It's like on that Smith & Smith ad where they say,

go chip in your windscreen. Yeah. You don't need to replace the whole thing. Deal with it now before it cracks. Yeah. They go pump, pump, pump, bump that clear stuff in and it fills it in. Well, I don't know if this would,

like they've used a stock image of a phone that's been dropped in the, you know, when the glass, like, completely shatters. Uh-huh. And you couldn't even use it. I don't know if this is more for scratches. It says scratches and dents, but the patent application says, During operation of an electronic device, the display cover layer for the electronic device may be scratched or dented.

To improve the aesthetics of the device, it may be desirable for the presence of scratches and dents to be minimised. And then it goes on to say, the display cover layer may include a layer of self-healing material. So whether that, they reckon it could be heat, like you might heat it a little bit. And then the surface, the layer would just kind of melt flat again. And reset. Yeah.

And it's probably more for foldable phone technology. They're saying here. But I mean, they're guessing as well probably because there's no. They're all guessing. The patent doesn't have the actual. It just says what it does. Yeah. It's not giving away the secrets. Right. But yeah.

To file a patent, do you have to already have a working version? I don't know. How about when you buy products and it says on it, like they've gone to the trouble of making it and selling it and everything and it says patent pending. Does that That means they've filed and they're waiting. Yeah.

So they've filed. How long does a patent take to come through? Because I've seen some products and they're not exactly new products and they still say patent pending on them. Right. You're like, surely you've got this taken care of by now. Yeah. They reckon that it could, the heating layer could be used,

basically when you're charging, like the layer could heat itself and just reform. That's what it says here. Would you have to go into settings and be like, reset screen? Imagine that. Because you wouldn't want it getting hot every time. I don't know. You wouldn't want it getting liquid every time because you'd pick it up and you'd smudge it.

Weird though. Yeah, what happens if you touch it when it's doing its thing? I don't think there's that much heat in it. Oh. And you leave a fingerprint on the screen. Or you go to swipe your phone open and your finger just goes through the screen because it's melted. Melted off. Well, you put your phone on, your screen repairing, you put your coffee on the top just to keep it nice and warm as well.

Like, so it can hate your coffee. Yeah. I mean, this would be handy. I was referring again to the screen handy, but you know, how many times does your coffee go cold because you forget about it? Yeah. Pop it on your phone. You're back in business. Can you get one of those anywhere? Like a USB? Yeah, yeah, but you know how many times does your coffee go cold because you forget about it? Yeah. Pop it on your phone. You're back in business. Can't you get one of those anyway?

Like a USB? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like little, like you get the fans. A mug warmer. Yeah. Yeah, and just sits in there. Keeps it warm. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today's Top Six dealing with the burgeoning billion dollar business. Burgeoning. Burgeoning. Burgeoning. Good word.

Can I soften the G? Burgeoning. Good word. Burgeoning. Burgeoning. I was thinking of Tom Bergeron, the host of American Fitness in the videos. The bugs. Bugs are going to be big businesses.

And 2019. Oh, maybe 2019. I wonder how. Can't be any worse than XG. bugs bugs are going to be big businesses and 2019 oh maybe 2019 when we're like gotta be 80 birds and digs you remember when we all said that well don't we look like

a bunch of dickheads now 112 million dollar business bugs being growing to eat by humans I mean they've been growing to be eaten by animals

for a very long time your mealworms that's a classic chicken snack. Yep. Birds love them. And you can travel Southeast Asia. We had a lot of bugs in Cambodia. Yep. People ate them already.

On the menu by 2026, it'll be a $1.5 billion industry, according to Global Market Insights. A lot of people were talking about ground up in stuff, like bread and doughs and stuff to make your protein, get your protein in your food. Well, one of the, Di Constanzo, she grows insects in London and sells them to all sorts of places, even the Hotel The Ritz. Oh, okay. So well known as being flashed to put on The Ritz. Oh, okay. So well, you know, known as being flashed to put on the Ritz. Yeah. And that's named

after the hotel. Their kitchen has taken them. She said, my mealworms have been in there. Fresh mealworms taste like a chicken meat hybrid and make a great base for a ragu. While the dried ones are nuttier. Dried crickets I add to my brochetta. They taste

a bit like pumpkin seeds with a hint of bacon. Mmm, bacon. She said so. And this dates back thousands of years. Humans have eaten insects. Probably just because it was always back in the day so hard to get a lot of them. Yeah. To get full.

But if we're going to figure out a way to eat ants, there's a lot for them. Yeah. Flies though, yuck. Not even flies. Yuck. Not even flies. Yuck. And that's the other thing about eating bugs is their little like legs and stuff get left behind in your mouth and you're a bit like. I really like those deep fried crickets though.

Did you? Yeah, they were yum. She said what, bacon and pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds. Is that accurate? From what I remember, it just tasted like fried goodness. Yeah. It tasted like fried because they're deemed deep fried.

So it just tasted like fried. The top six bug recipes for my food bug. This is what I'm launching. This is my food bug service, but it's bug related. Number six, and you'll be cooking this on Tuesday night, Ant Chovey Pizza. But it's bug related. Number six, and you'll be cooking this on Tuesday night, anchovy pizza. That's where you have ants and anchovies. Right, on a pizza.

Okay. Yeah. Does the heat kill them or are they already dead? Oh, they're already dead. They're already a bit fresh. Oh, yeah, fresh. Yeah, because they come with one of those little ice packs in the box. Number five on the top six bug recipes for my

food bug. This would be great for one of those colder nights. It requires a slow cooker. You'll be making a nice warm winter casserole. That's a roach heavy casserole. I don't know about roaches. No, you're a little bit worried about it but after eight hours simmering on low,

oh my god, they just go so succulent. They pop in your mouth. Number three on the list, and we include puddings here at My Food Bug, is ice cream spiders. Quite literally. Quite literally. You put the ice cream in

and then the fizzy drink of your choice, a cola beverage, and then sprinkle on some spiders instead of sprinkles. I reckon that would probably dissolve a spider, a fizzy. Long enough. If you left it in there long enough, it would have dissolved the spider. Number three on the list. Oh, if we're talking about desserts, you can't go past another recipe in my food bug,

chocolate brownies. It's chocolate and ants are the main ingredients in these brownies. Just delicious though. Yum. And if we're doing some baking, we might as well make number two while we're there. The top six bug recipes for my food bug, ladybug fingers. You know ladyfingers? Those tiny little biscuits.

Except they've got ladybugs in them. And it looks like choccy chips, except they're ladybugs. Yeah. The little wings and the shells get a bit... Like an M&M. Yeah. Might get up under the tooth. And number one on the list of the top six bug recipes

for my food bug, lice cream. Thanks to the primary school children for growing those lice for us. They touch their heads together and really create great breeding grounds for lice cream lice. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

We want to talk about your bosses watching you, surveilling you. This is from AUT. This is research they've done on surveillance during lockdown. Okay. So I guess you used it as an excuse or like you had to be watched because you were working from home. But a lot of employees felt that their monitoring was increased during lockdown and since has carried on. So 52% of people believed that they were being monitored to some extent. How were they being monitored?

Like checking when they were logged on to work emails and stuff? It could be, yeah, it could be that. Or it could be even being, you know, those people that have to write tasks like every 15 minutes and have to explain what their tasks are. Oh my God, a friend of mine was telling me about that. I was like, you have to tell your boss what you've been doing for every 15 minutes and have to explain what they're tasked with. Oh my God. A friend of mine was telling me about that. I was like, you have to tell your boss what you've been doing for every 15 minutes.

But it would take me 15 minutes to write it. That's billable. Because if you have to say who's getting charged what. No, but I don't think. So if you're doing a client situation, they've got to know who's going to be invoiced for the time. But I'd just be like, just leave me to my own devices. I'll get the work done.

It's not to make sure you're doing something. It sounds annoying. Because anybody that's filled in the timesheet knows that you just make all that bullshit up anyway. You just pick the richest client that's not going to pick too many holes in it and you just say you're working for them most of the time. But you know, we've got this. Do you guys get this weekly email called the My Analytics Network Edition? Nah.

Maybe. I spent 8.3 hours collaborating with you, apparently, Megan. What? Really? Last week. Who does this? I spent 11.7 hours collaborating with Executive Internania, and I had a 92% read rate.

It's got all this. I didn't know about this until we were in lockdown and I clicked on it and it was like, great news you're not anchored to work. It was like, you're great. It's important in these times to have

wellness and a life outside of work and you're doing that great. And I was like, gee willikers, thanks. And it tells me, yeah. I hate to say what mine is. I log onto my work emails like once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I'm like, that's enough. Yeah. I don't know because mine, I leave it logged on at work. I don't know. But I guess that's a form of like they could look in and see it tells me who I've emailed, how many people I've interacted with,

my active collaborators. You guys are on the list, but that's only because we send each other emails at the end of the day, being like, here's some possible stuff we can talk about on the show. But how's about the work cars? Apparently, if you go over 110K, someone gets an email. Because you know, in the passing lane, sometimes you need to do at least 120 to tap pass. I don't think that's the defense when the cop pulls you over. Do they get an email every time it goes over?

So if you go up to 111 and back to 109 and then back up to 111, do they get two emails? Or just one? I'm going to flood them. Because I was driving behind a car the other day and it literally said on the bumper, don't get angry at me. This car will not exceed the speed limit. It can't go over the speed limit. Because some of them are limited to the speed limit.

And I'm always, because I see those stickers and them are like, yeah, they're limited to the speed limit. And I'm always, because I see those stickers and I'm like, well, you would not want to be in a life or death horror movie and you're trying to get away from the bad people. Yeah, being chased.

And you're being limited to 80 kilometres because your work car won't go fast. Bad people are always chasing down Auckland City Council workers with Toyota Yaris's. They are. They really are. I always see that in horror movies.

Who do you work for? I work for the council. Do you have a vehicle? It's a very economical Toyota Yaris. It's not allowed to exceed the speed limit. You're dead. Oh, not if I can get away from you and my economical Yaris. I'd love to see that on a movie one day.

They get out of the forest onto a road, they stop a car with a gun and they steal their car. And then it's... Limited to 80 kilometres per hour. But I wonder, could we take some calls? You're saying surveillance has increased. Yeah. And your boss is always watching. Have you been

caught at work doing something? You're not supposed to be. Because there was like, I don't know, there was a GPS in the work car and you took it for a weekend away or something. Do they was like, I don't know, there was a GPS in the work car and you took it for a weekend away or something. Do they always tell you? They tell you, right?

If there's a GPS in the work car? Not always. If you sign when you, if you don't read the fine print, it can say anything in there about tracking you. But maybe the boss put up cameras in the workplace and caught you doing something. Has that, oh, everything you look at on your phone gets reported to work?

0800 dials it in. Give us a call. 9696. What did you get caught doing at work because the boss was snooping? Bonus points if it was naughty. A study from AUT has looked into whether our bosses are

spying on us, whether they're watching us. And after lockdown, some people seem to think they are more so, down to 46% thinking online monitoring as well. For our well-being, though, guys. Yes. We're not working too hard. Yeah.

So we wanted to know, is your boss spying on you, and what did you get caught doing? Candice, what did you get caught doing? So I was working at a furniture store and I got really bored and started cutting out paper mustaches and sticking them on the various homewares items. So what, like a blender, a mixer could have a moustache? Yes.

So there was a felt bunny that had a moustache and a top hat And then I had little random notes in various pots and things You sound like the Eastern employee And chuck some googly eyes on it And a little speech bubble being like, I'm a great cake mixer I'd be like, you would lie to me would you Mr. Cake Mixer? The best part about it was about four months after I quit, I got a text message from one of my old colleagues who said, did you put a moustache on this tiny little clearance item? Because the customer just bought it and we had a very weird

conversation. Months after you left your moustaches remained. Yes. So your boss was spying on you. How did they find out you were doing this? Well, they came in. I didn't know that there were actually cameras there because it was a pop-up store. And so they came in and were like, what on

earth are you doing? You're bored and this is what you turn to? I don't understand you as a person. I'm trying to make a job slightly more enjoyable. What sort of monster am I? Brilliant. Hey, Candice, thanks for your call. Stacey, when was your boss watching?

Okay, so it wasn't me. It was a guy who worked for me. I worked in a construction company in the UK. I was a manager. And I put him in because he had excessive phone numbers. Head office sent me his phone bill and said, you need to talk to him. There's something wrong.

And there was a lot of naughty numbers on there. What do you mean naughty numbers? Like 0900 lines or something? Yeah, the naughty, the risque. Risque numbers. Who called those? So, well, you're talking quite a few years ago now. But anyway, I called him in and had the conversation.

I said, look, you know, you've been calling these numbers. It was really uncomfortable for me as well. And he went, I don't know what you're talking about. And I said, you know, these numbers, you know, the numbers. And when he looked at it, he was like, I swear to God it wasn't me. And I was like, it's on your phone. It's definitely you. Yeah.

Anyway, we found out that it was his 13-year-old son who'd been ringing in them at night. It's fine because no one will know because it's his work phone. So his mum and dad won't find out. Oh, my God. That is mortifyingly embarrassing for that dude. But at the same time, at least in the end, there was an explanation that it wasn't him. How much money had he? Hundreds. Wow. It turned out that pretty much it wasn't her. Yeah. How much money had he, like? Oh, hundreds.

Wow. It turned out that, like, pretty much it was every night. Like, in the middle of the night, he'd been ringing them. So your man was charging his phone, like, in the kitchen, and the son would be like, creep, creep, creep, creep. So we had to charge. It turned out, in the end, he had to pay back £748. That's $14.

Wow, like $14, $15, New Zealand. Yes. Brilliant. The son was not happy. The son was so upset, but it was quite funny. Brilliant. Stacey, thanks for your call. Ask for text messages.

I'm the boss. I can report I have caught one of my team watching adult material in the office. In the office? In the office. What, after hours when no one was there? Blinds down? What's the deal there? You've really thought this through.

What? Blinds down in the office. No one's here. I'm just applying the same rules to the office as I do at home. You pull the curtains. No, but if you were caught, your boss was there.

Yeah. Or maybe got a little net nanny reminder or whatever the equivalent of net nanny is for a working office. I got caught online shopping at work because the website was signed into my manager's account because of cookies or whatever. Yeah.

You know how like if someone signs in and remembers their details. But then dumb on the manager's situation to leave because they said it was like click, click, purchase and it went through on her then dumb on the manager's situation to leave because they said it was like click click purchase and it went through on her credit card the manager's credit card you don't save your

credit card on a work computer that's madness I had to come clean and said I'd been shopping on company time and give her $200 I'm assuming the $200

was what it cost for her to leave I was working retail for a small shop I was hungover so I decided to shut the shop with a be back in 10 minutes

sign for a little nap however that 10 minutes correspondent with so I decided to shut the shop with a be back in 10 minutes sign for a little nap. However, that 10 minutes correspondent with the boss decided to stop past and check the shop and caught me sleeping in the back room. That's unlucky. And I'm guessing they slept for more than 10 minutes. Yeah. And quite a few people who were caught at their current

job looking for new jobs. Oh yeah. A few people were doing that. My husband was caught writing a CV on the company computer computer I was caught looking For new jobs On the work computer I forgot to Clear my history

Yeah quite a few people Messaging in Looking for new Occupations While currently Employed ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast

We're joined on the phone By TVNZ US correspondent And friend of the show Anna Burns Francis Who is covering The positive test Of the US president for COVID-19. I believe, Anna, you're outside the hospital that he's in. Oh, well, I wish I was outside the hospital,

but it was a little bit of an incident last night, so I'm just avoiding it for a few hours. Would you like me to delve into that? Very much. Chuck your gummies on and w to delve into that? Very much. Chuck your gummies on and wade right into that mucky pond. So, you know, there's a lot of supporters,

Trump supporters, and they've got flags and all sorts of things. They offered us pizza the other night and I was like, oh, maybe I won't accept that from you, but thank you, very generous. But there's also protesters

and they're there all the time. And they're less enthusiastic about seeing the news media covering this, and they don't have great language. And unfortunately, they decided to make it known to me halfway through my live cross last night. I didn't get to bail out of that, so I'm just reassessing my options. So wait, are the protesters pro-Trump, anti-mainstream media, or are they anti-Trump protesters?

They're anti-Trump protesters, but they're also anti-media protesters. Right. There's just, like, name a kind of protester, there's a version of that here. That's because you're always lying, though, isn't it? With your fake news. Yeah, I mean, it's unrepeatable what else I was, but I just thought, oh, time to go. Yeah, I mean, it's unrepeatable what else I was,

but I just thought, oh, time to go. Yeah, wow. So what's the latest? Because Trump's doctors an hour ago gave a press conference. Yeah, I mean, if you've seen any of it, you're probably as clear as I am as to what the situation is because remdesivir, which is the drug he's getting, you have to have that or you should have that administered in a hospital.

So he's only up to two doses of that. He might get a third today. But they're saying he might go home tomorrow. But that doesn't equal five doses, which is what you need. So not sure whether he's on that. He's had two doses of oxygen, which he had a couple of days ago. But yesterday, he definitely hadn't had oxygen. And now he has had oxygen because they misinterpreted the way that question

was being asked by the reporters. And today his oxygen levels are definitely not below 94% but they can't quite work out if they were ever in the 80s because they just didn't hear that question and then the end of the press conference happened. Wow, so there's a lot of mixed messages and no clear actual hard line of this is how bad it is. No, so yesterday we had the first briefing,

and that was very confusing because they had the wrong timeline and they wouldn't answer questions. And then after that, there was the off-the-record comments from the chief of staff. So he literally was caught on camera saying, can you turn your cameras off? And he said, well, next 48 hours, this is going to be critical as to how this plays out. Because, of course, they've kind of got to start laying the groundwork. If this is not going to go well, they will have to transfer power.

And obviously there's an election and all that sort of jazz coming up. Then there was an update from the doctors on paper. They clarified their comments. Then there was Donald Trump's video and then there was another statement. The five different things happened yesterday and we're only up to one so far today so I'm hopeful but I don't think it's going to be any clearer

as to what on earth is going on. Certainly it's a whole lot more serious I think than they're letting on for sure. Was it bizarre travelling from New Zealand to the United States just recently and arriving in this bizarre USA 2020 build up to the election with COVID ravaging the country? Yeah, like in some ways I sort of thought maybe I'd missed the big story of 2020. And now I'm thinking, no, no, I definitely didn't miss it.

You can't almost quantify every day. I think I've had maybe one day off since I got here at the beginning of September, just because every day you think, oh, I wonder if today I'll have time to go and do my washing, and then something else happens, and no, you don't. And you know, New York, if you've ever been there, it's so busy,

and then I got there and it was empty. I was like, this is weird. Wow. Well, that explains why you're doing your crosses in your track pants if you haven't been able to do your washing. Oh, yeah. I'm buying all my clothes online, but don't worry, I'm not buying any track pants. Like, that's just never going to happen.

Not yet. Not yet. Don't say never. Never say never. It's 2020, Anna. We never say never. That's the rule. Thanks so much for chatting to us.

And we might have a chat to you again later with whatever happens. Thanks. Look after yourself. There you go. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A study's been done.

This is by a bathroom retailer. But it sounds like they were just like, what's your favorite thing to do? A bathroom retailer? Yeah. Okay. And a weird fact that came out of the study was that 74% of people like to save their crying for when they're in the shower. Yeah. You have a little maintenance cry in the shower.

Right, because you're already wet. So you don't, if someone, if your partner comes in, you could be like, I've got shampoo on my eyes no because they can't see you're weird anyway yeah right but I don't like

crying in the shower because you can't feel you're just going you can't feel the tears that was a weird is that how you cry if you're having a real good cry

like you can't you can't feel the tears like it doesn't feel like anything's happening what do you want to feel the tears running down your face yeah then you know it's happening.

And you want the hit in the corner of your mouth so you get that little salty taste. Yeah, a little bit of snot dribble. Yeah, a little snotty dribble. But that's why it's good to cry in the shower because then you can just wipe the tears and the snot straight off, give it a fleek. Yeah.

So, not you, Fleetch, but do you cry in the shower? I've cried in the shower, but not a lot. Yeah. Because I do a lot of thinking in the shower and sometimes like that it might get you. So I thought maybe it was to do with, like if you're wearing makeup too, it just washes off. You don't have to worry about like your face getting all messy.

Yeah, yeah. They don't think it's to do with that. It's more to do with you go somewhere when you're feeling vulnerable and unhappy. One of the most natural things to do is make yourself warmer. So like jumping into bed or the shower. Yeah. And also the privacy

that comes with being in a bathroom. If you're living with someone, there's very few spaces that would be private to have a cry, but the shower could be one of them. Like the flatmates have eaten your food in the fridge, so you're like, well that's it. I'm hitting the shower and I'm having a cry, but the shower could be one of them. Like the flatmates have eaten your food in the fridge, so you're like, well, that's it. I'm hitting the shower and I'm having a cry.

Yeah, exactly. If you were flatting, that's the one place that can be private. Yeah. Or you're crying because you're still living with your parents and you thought you'd be out on your own by now, but you're not, so you're having a cry and then you turn off the shower and mum's like, don't forget the squeegee. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Norell. Your gold medalist. Where's my medal? It's a small segment of the show where we celebrate any small victory that we can get our hands on. Yeah. Our mucky little hands. Especially in 2020.

Oh, if you've got anything done. The little victories are what we're going to focus on. What did we? Gave away the gold medal a few weeks ago to someone that finally cleaned out everything in their car. Yeah, they finally cleaned out their car. What a victory. What a triumphant. That inspired me.

I cleaned out my car last week. It was a gold medal effort. It took hours. It effort. It took hours. It did. It took hours. Cleaner. Even put a new wing mirror on and painted it. Did I walk, baby?

All right, Mackenzie joins us this morning. Mackenzie, why do you deserve a medal? Last night, I ate my dinner in the lounge instead of in bed. Yes. Do you normally... Yeah, big thing. Right, you normally what? Do you stack the pillows up and then sit in bed and then eat it like that?

Yeah. Okay, good. Well, honestly, I was just tired. I'm going to get out of bed and be energetic. Wow. So you're literally every night in bed with your dinner? Well, I am on holiday at the moment, so at the moment, yeah.

Right. Do you ever get any, like, crumbs or splashes of bolognese sauce or anything? Oh, damn it. Well, if you're smart, you're eating in someone else's bed, so no. Fair enough. Now, did you, last night,

did you eat, like, on the couch or at the kitchen table? Well, we don't really have a kitchen table. It was just the couch and the fan band was there, so I was super social as well. Okay, wow. Your family was there? Yeah. Did you say?

But you don't have a kitchen table. No, we just don't. We ate every dinner at the kitchen table growing up. We were never allowed on the couch either, no. That's a victory, though. All right, so you were social and you ate dinner out of bed. Oh, my the couch either. That's a victory though. All right, well, so you were social and you ate dinner out of bed.

Oh my God, huge. It's fantastic. All right, wait there, Mackenzie. Rachel, why do you deserve a medal? Well, I went into the fridge last night and got rid of

all the leftovers that were there. Oh, wow. It feels so great when you do that. Even like, did you have any old like rotten vegetables in the cello?

Yep. You know, a courgette. Oh, yuck. They just go to liquid. Yeah, they go. Do you have a floppy, you have a floppy brock? Yeah, I did have a floppy brock.

It's so funny you say that. I was like, can I still use it? Yeah. And then I was like, no, get in the bin. With a food waste, though. As long as it's not yellow and sprouting flowers. Sauce bottles. They go all the way.

I even washed out the sauce bottles. Oh, wow. Wow. But now does the fridge look really empty? Yeah. Getting a big stock up of stuff you can throw out in three months. Do you know a little tip when you clean out, because you have to get rid of all the gunky vegetables and stuff,

you get a little bit of vanilla essence. Yes. And you sprinkle that on and you rub it around with a towel and it smells so good. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. It's better than baking soda. It's better than baking soda.

Because you don't want to be like spraying wiping in your fridge because that's a bit. No, like too much chemical. Yeah, exactly. Well, better than baking soda. It's better than baking soda. Because you don't want to be like spraying wiping in your fridge because that's a bit... No, like too much chemical. Yeah, exactly. Better living, Rachel. Better living. You try that out, Rachel. You're welcome.

You're absolutely welcome for that free tip this morning. Sasha, why do you deserve a medal? So yesterday, mum gave me $60 to go down to the shops and get a bottle of gin. And got there. It was $42 for the bottle so I paid $2 on my card so she didn't have to break a note which

was a pretty mature move of me. It was an act of kindness. Wow! You didn't want mum to break a note! So you had three 20s and you're like well I'll do two 20s and then I'll pay the $2.99. Exactly. Even ported the gin when I got back.

Wow. See, I would have broken that 20 and then just gave them 10 back. Keep the change. I would have kept all the change, yeah, and said it was 60 bucks. She gave $20 back in her bottle of gin. Wow. That's good stuff. Yeah. That's really kind of you. Alright, Sasha.

I don't know. They're all really good. We need to now award our bronze, silver, and gold. The judges are deliberating. This is hard. Yeah, this is a hard one. This is a really hard one. Oh. I think we're like...

Are we split? I think we might be split. Do we have to do a tally, like points, and then I'll work out the points? I just, I work on what I would never do. Okay, so what would you, because people don't know the order, starting from the top there on line four, what would you do there? Fletch, would you go gold on line four or silver? You'd go silver on four?

I don't know. Bronze. You'd go bronze? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then out of the other two, who would you go? I'd go gold on the bottom and silver in the middle.

So would I. See, I'd be reversed for that one, but okay. You've been outvoted. I've been outvoted. Here we go. All right, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Where's My Medal? Bronze medal this week goes to...

Mackenzie for eating dinner not in her bed. Yay! Congratulations. You know what? Other weeks, you may have been the gold medal winner, but... Yeah, it was a toughie. Because that is... And she was social.

That's a big thing. Yeah. It's a big thing. And this week's silver medal... for cleaning out the fridge. Rachel, congratulations. That is massive. Thank you. And when you get a little bit of vanilla essence,

the job will be 100% done. But ladies and gentlemen, that means today's gold medal. Where's My Medal. Sasha, for buying her mum a bottle of gin but not breaking all three 20s, just spending two of them and putting $2.99 on her card. What an act of outright heroism.

Selfless. And this week's Where's My Medal gold medal winner Congratulations Thank you so much Best thing that's happened to me all week You deserve it after that It's only Monday It's all up from here

That is right We just put roller skates on this week And you're rolling through the rest of it Daughter of the year I think Go on Carry on that great example Roller skates on this week and you're rolling through the rest of it. Daughter of the year, I think. Go on. Carry on that great example. It'd be rude to cut off the anthem.

It would be. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There is a new term. I guess you can call it a dating term, but it's being referred to as the male equivalent of a push-up bra. Okay. So it's kind of false advertising and it's called beard baiting. So men are...

Are people getting fake beards? No, growing real beards. Okay. This is really mean. They've worked hard and they deserve it. But they're growing real beards in order to cover up their face because maybe they don't feel as comfortable with their chin or their jawline. Like you have to hide a bum chin.

Some people do. They have a little goatee or a beard. No, there's something wrong with a bum chin. I'm almost contour. There's famous makeup contour to exaggerate the bum chin. Ben Affleck's got a bum chin Doesn't he? Yeah There's nothing wrong

With Ben Affleck So yeah There's Batman Growing the beards To hide This is a quote An average face It's not me saying

But then does a beard Make an average face Not as average? Well I guess you can shape Your jaw more right? Oh right right Yeah yeah yeah I get you

I get you Yeah like if you've got You're talking about The early 2000s Strap beard That was a famous one I guess you can shape your jaw more, right? Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get you. Yeah, like if you've got a chin you don't like. You're talking about the early 2000s strap beard. That was a famous one. Smash Mouth would be my citation here. Strap beard. The guy from Smash Mouth grew a strap beard. And Fred Durst did too during his chubby days of Limp Bizkit.

And they grew the strap beard to be like, this is where my jaw is. To accentuate the jawline. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. This is where it is and if there was to be one, this is the trail

that it would follow. But you're not hiding anything under your bed. Just your youth. Nah, I'm not. Yeah. You look so young when you shave it off.

Dimples, there's dimples under there. Yeah, why would you hide your dimples? You do look so young. Hide the dimples under there. When is the last time? Because what does your wife think of the bed? She doesn't like it when it's long. No the dimples under there. When is the last time? Because what does your wife think of the beard?

She doesn't like when it's long. No, she likes it short. She doesn't like when it gets bushy and long. So she wouldn't want you to completely shave it off? I don't think so. I don't think she'd want me to completely shave it off. Or she'd say yes and then you'd do it and she'd be like, oh no. Yeah, because then I'd have a shaved head and a shaved beard

and my eyebrows would be the only hair on my face. But she's not baited because she knows what you look like before a beard. Yeah. She didn't come along when you had the beard. Yeah, she did. Well, actually, I had sideburns. So it was worse. Which is a beard without a goatee. See, individually, like, sideburns, no. Goatee, no. But together, Captain Planet. Yeah, right.

Sure. But I don't think that's really fair because if you're getting together with someone who's already got a beard, they have no intention of shaving it off, then that is what their face looks like. You know? Yeah. So people were saying that in terms of dating, they're being baited because they're made to look more attractive than they actually are. Like those new tights we were talking about the other day at the airport. What tights?

Those tights with the built-in butt lifter. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that these existed until last week. I got targeted advertising for, I don't know why, for tights that would also lift my butt, make it look like a bubble butt, and also give me thigh gap in the form of tights. And I had no idea they existed. But since I've been informed about them, I've seen them like quite a few times. You're in the form of tights and I had no idea they existed but since I've been informed about them

I've seen them like quite a few times I'm like does that also double as a comfortable cushion if you have to sit on a like hard seating well because it would

push your butt into the cushion yeah maybe but I didn't know they existed they're like wonder bras for the butt

right yeah but women have been like doing false advertising forever the chicken fillets push up-up bras, fake eyelashes. We spray on or whip on a tan. Yeah, but like beds. When you said bed-batting, I thought you meant they were like putting on fake beds

and luring women in with the promise of the ability to swing an axe and cut some wood. And then at the end of the night, they get home and they're like, God, when you get home, you just want to take these things off. Yeah. That would be amazing. That is beard-batting. But I'd imagine there'd be guys out there whose partners don't want them to get rid of the beard.

Because they love it. Because they look baby-faced and then they don't want to look like they're dating the baby-faced one. How many studies have we had that bald men with beards are like... Sex machines. Yeah, I didn't want to finish the sentence. He's a big sex machine. So I would love to take some calls

on what you insist your partner keeps. Yeah, right. Because what about when guys will like shave their heads and their girlfriends freak out? And it would be the same. There'd be guys whose girlfriends come home with they've had nice long hair

and then they get a bob or a pic an Anne Hathaway pixie cut and the guys freak out about it devastated yeah gross back

yeah has Mr Toyboy ever been upset with any of your hairstyles well because when I went blonde I was like do you want me to keep my hair blonde

he's like I like you however you come and I was like that's clever because eventually I won't be blonde anymore. But he did like it blonde. Yeah.

Yeah, right. What about him? Has he ever made any hair cut choices? He used to be clean shaming as well, but now he just trims. So he always has stubble. But I think that's better because he looks... More your age.

Less like your son. I was trying to think of a nice way to say that alright well he's been having a stubble less people have called me

his mother alright well 0800 DARS at M we want to take some calls now and you can text as well

9696 what do you insist your partner keeps right whether it's a hairstyle. A beard. Would it be like a clothing style? Oh, yeah. That you insist your partner.

Oh, like tights, like the butt tights. Well, maybe. Talking about those things that you insist your partner keeps. Whether it's facial hair or a hairstyle. Piercings. We are hearing from so many. The hairstyles is a big one.

It can be quite shocking when they change it. So yeah, somebody messaged in saying my boyfriend has to keep his mullet. Really? Forever though? Does he? Is it a style? Is it a style mullet? You has to keep his mullet. Really? Forever though? Does he?

Is it a styley mullet? You know there are styley mullets. No, people are rocking just straight up mullets. Straight, dirty mullets. Like a Bogan mullet. Or like a model mullet. No, no, no. No, no, straight up.

Okay, big, dirty mullet. Big, dirty mullet. Jackie, what do you insist your partner keeps? I insist he keeps a beard because he has zero chin. It's one of those neck face situations. Yeah, okay. Oh, no, chinny in. Yeah, a chinny in.

And he has to keep a beard because it looks like he's got a beautiful chiseled jaw. It's like a chin implant. Yeah, yeah. It looks like he's got one. Otherwise, it's really kind of... When you got together with him, was he beardless? Yes, he was. I love him either way. But he was also thinner, so it was less of you.

Jesus, Jackie. I was trying to get you redemption. You sound like you've just thrown grenades from a few metres back. I mean, listen. You saw the potential, like buying a house. This just needs a little extension. Absolutely. I've been with him for 10 years. It's an absolute redemption arc.

But we do have a deal. I'm not allowed to shave my head if he doesn't shave his beard. And during lockdown, I got really itchy. I was like, oh, what if I just shave? He's like, no! No! I was like, okay, deal. I won't do mine if you won't do yours. He's like, oh, what if I just, you know, shave? He's like, no, don't. I was like, okay, deal. I won't do mine if you won't do yours. He's like, yep, sweet, done. It seems like you'd be far less likely to shave your head

than he would be to shave his beard. It seems like an unlevel playing field there. Well, I'm happy with that. I'm okay with it. Yeah, because you're on the high ground. Jackie, thanks for your call. Callie, what do you insist That your partner keeps He has to keep his beard

And I'm not allowed To cut my hair Because I shocked him With a pixie cut Out of nowhere And there was A fair amount of trauma Involved on his part

That was amazing What were you Rocking hair wise Before the pixie cut Oh like beyond Shoulder length Brown hair Wow Wow dude That's such a change Pixie Yeah Rocking hair-wise before the pixie cut? Oh, like beyond shoulder length, brown hair. Wow.

Wow, dude, that's such a change. And he saw your ears for the first time. Yeah. That must have been a deal breaker. Wow. And was there a big argument, or did he just give you the cold shoulder for a few days? He was stoked about it being blonde,

and he saw me driving down our driveway, and I'm running out, and we, oh, that looks at what? stoked about it being blonde and he saw me driving down our driveway i'm running out of it walked away walked in the house shut the door and didn't speak to me for two days that's wild man that's wild he did have a major sock um kelly thanks you called sarah um what do you and your partner have an agreement on uh my husband had a receding hairline and i said that he had to shave it because it wasn't the best look okay and then he started to grow a beard and i said he couldn't have a shaved head and a baby face it had to be the full-on beard um bed um right and nothing else otherwise we just could not see together you're like you need some hair somewhere yeah yeah and then now he's got like neck tattoos as well and he's got a motorbike

and he looks a bit scary looking and i love it but really he's a big teddy bear inside right you're hot for the bad boy. Oh, definitely. Or the bad-looking boy. The bad-looking boy, but the nice, respectful man. Thanks, Sarah. Thomas, you and your partner have an agreement? No, not really. Basically, I messed up.

I've been blessed with long, luxurious curly hair. Okay. And she said that if I get rid of it, then she's going to leave me. But joke's on her because all the guys in my family are completely bald. So, ha. So you're on a timer, you reckon? It's not going to be there forever? Yeah, no.

My uncle and my dad both lost it around the age of 20, which is what I am now. Wow, okay. I love how you're just like, ha. Do you think she would leave you if you went bald to be honest matt i wouldn't really complain anyways thomas you're on the radio on the radio at least you didn't give yourself any identifying features like long, beautiful curly hair and a bald dad and a bald uncle and a very distinctive voice. She'll never know it was you. Wink.

Thanks, Thomas. Some text messages. Oh, savage. My wife insists I keep my beard. As she thinks it's hilarious, people think she is my daughter. Oh, man, I don't know what's going on there. That's a lot. That's a lot to take in.

She loves it. People think she's young. It's a lot of beards. We're hearing from a lot of women who are like, no, my partner must keep his beard. Wow, okay. Haven't heard from too many guys that are insisting that their partner keep something.

So that's one for the books there. Ladies. No, they think it. They just don't want to say it out loud. Yeah, they don't want to say it out loud because they've just heard Thomas absolutely throw himself up on the cross and they'll be like, oh, remember Thomas? Yeah, he spoke well out of turn.

Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, tay, tay. Today's fact of the day is about expensive cows. Okay. An expensive cow, Missy the cow, is a Holstein cow. I'll show you a picture of a Holstein cow. It's kind of like a Frisian cow. Holstein, Frisian, black and white cow. Just looks like it's a black and white cow. I'll show you a picture of a Holstein cow. It's kind of like a Frisian cow.

Doot, doot. Holstein, Frisian. Black and white cow. Just looks like it's a black and white cow. Black and white cow. Well, Missy the cow, great producer. Okay. Really get the milk going. She does the green top.

She does all the tops. All the tops. She's got a teat for each top. Okay. She's got four teats. She's got a blue top, teat, green, chocolate, and banana. Anyway, in 2012, she was the Canadian Cow of the Year. She won a whole lot.

Do we do a New Zealand Cow of the Year? It's like a pageant. I don't know. We do Horse of the Year. It feels like that's just, like, we should definitely have a Cow of the Year. Speciesist. Like a specific, one specific cow. Oh, yeah, a 13, this is a story.

A 13-year-old Holstein Friesian Dairy Cow from Otago has been named the 2020 Valdan Cow of the Year. Okay, we do do a cow of the year. We do do a cow of the year. Do you have a criteria of what makes it the cow of the year? Like, production. It would just be production, wouldn't it? Like, producing the most. Yeah, I'm just looking here.

Oh, do they not do, like do a walk on the catwalk? They might do a walk. No, it doesn't say there's a catwalk. Train them earlier. You'd call it a cow walk though, wouldn't you? She sold for $1.2 million. Good Lord. Missy the cow.

However, technically, not the most expensive cow in the world. The most expensive cow was a cow in Cuba called Rufina. Now, Rufina fetched a $2 million price tag. However,

not for being sold. Okay. Rufina was hit with a failed satellite launch in 1960. Okay. And there wasn't anything of Rufino left. Apart from metal satellite parts.

So this satellite took off from the States. And this is 1960. So Russia, the Cold War is at its height. It's the space race. Everyone's rushing to get satellites. Animals in space. Man on the moon. Yep.

It's a big race. So a satellite takes off from the US. However, there's a critical malfunction and it separates early. Okay. Which means it doesn't get into its atmosphere and it begins plummeting down, at which time it separates again

and shoots the satellite down earthwards. Right. Now, there was no predicting of where it was going to land and it just happened to land in Cuba in a paddock right in Rufina. So Rufina's expensive because she's become a satellite. Rufina's expensive because then Fidel Castro said this was a cruel attack in violation of Cuba's airspace. He called it an intentional killing of Cuba's cows.

Okay. There was protests in Cuba outside the United States Embassy with people dressed up as cows that said, you Yankees are killing us without mercy. Somebody else made a sign that said,

Eisenhower, you murdered my sister. And it was a cow saying it. And the US government gave Cuba $2 million compensation only for Rufina the cow. Right. So technically, Rufina was a $2 million cow. And in those days, inflation.

That cow nowadays would surely be worth more. Do the inflation on $2 million in the 60s versus 1.2 in 2009. And I think you'll find that Rufina may go down in history forever as the most expensive car in history. That's the nice... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Holy moly, moly, moly, moly.

Holy moly, moly, moly. Come on! Holy moly, the intimacy edition. It's Megan's sneezes. Jesus. You alright? Good Lord. I sneezed into my elbow.

I held in a sneeze yesterday because I was in public and I was like... I know, didn't you feel so... And it just like rocked my whole like cerebral cortex. But do you feel like if you need a sneeze or cough in public and I was like, and it just like rocked my whole like cerebral cortex. But do you feel like if you need a sneeze or cough in public, people just look at you like you're about to infect them

with COVID? It's horrible. Did you hear that person cough on the plane on the way back from Christchurch? And everyone around them went, But only one person coughed that one time.

Yeah. And the rest of the plane was like, keeping everything in. So, speaking of keeping everything in, not really, but moving on, intimacy. We asked you in a series of questions about intimacy in your relationship

on Instagram. There were some yes, no, some slightly scales, and here are the results of Polymol of the Intimacy Edition. Could you have an intimacy-free relationship? No. 77% of people would agree with you there, Megan. That's quite a lot though that could.

We're defining intimacy as not only like, it's any kind of physical contact, right? Any sort of physical intimacy as that person would interpret it. No cuddles. Yeah. No nothing. Or anything beyond that. Isn't that just what happens when you get to like 80 or something and you have separate beds? No, then that's to add the excitement, isn't it? Right. Pushing your beds together

and reminding yourself of the summer of love of 1969. Right, okay. Intimacy-free relationship 23% of people said yes. These are some of the comments we got. I've been there. He ended up, it's because he couldn't handle,

he ended it because he couldn't handle how thirsty I was. Right. So that sounds to me like the intimacy was out of whack. It was, yeah. You've got to have that sort of balance, don't you?

Somebody regarding intimacy-free relationships said I could go without the main act, but cuddles, kisses and small touches let you know that you're loved. That comes from a sea fletcher of Auckland.

I will throw my jar of coffee at you. It's the exact opposite of what a sea fletcher of Auckland would say. But I'm big, big spoo-spoo. I'm always big, big spoo-spoo. That's not true. That's why when you were looking at a cuddle pillow, you wanted it to have arms so you could make it cuddle you from behind. You're a little spoo.

He's a little spoo. I'm verse spoon. We asked you on a slidey scale how important intimacy is in a relationship to you, 10 being obviously extremely important, 1 being not important. The average answer was 8 out of 10. Oh, okay. That's quite important. We love cuddles.

Yeah, we love cuddles. Intimacy. We're humans. We need a little bit of intimacy, don't we? Yeah. But obviously not everybody does. And somebody said, a relationship without intimacy, in my experience,

is just a friendship. Yeah, that's true. Isn't it? Well, it is because you're close, but you don't cuddle and kiss and stuff. We're breathing in to say something. No, no. You did.

You did that little breath at the start. I thought there was going to be a well or a but. No, we'll leave that. We'll leave that. Okay. Do you wish your partner was more intimate? Pretty evenly split. No, I'm good.

49% said yes, I do wish my partner was more intimate. 51% said no. Someone said yes, I do, but honestly, I just respect that our drives don't necessarily match up. Yeah, that's a big thing. Is that hard, though, if your drives don't match up? Well, as long as your, if your drive and need is higher. Yep.

And that's, your partner's got to be understanding that you will find ways to satisfy that need. Not with other people. Cheat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sounded like you, that was an excuse for cheating. No, I was simply going to direct people to satisfy a pro tool. Right, okay. Such apparati.

Yeah, right. Do you ever feel the need to spice it up in the bedroom? 54% said yes, 46% said no. Someone said, I'd love to, but my partner's more vanilla. But do you definitely know that? Or have they just never spoken of anything? They might be worried that when they start tasting the ice creams, they're not going to be able to go back to vanilla.

God, you know what I was like in that gelato store the other day. So much choice. Oh, you're a freak. You're a freak in the sheets and a freak in the cone. I wanted that to rhyme, but it didn't. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep things fun and interesting, reads another. Okay. And we ask, how long have you gone without being intimate with your partner?

The options were one week, one month, six months, or a year, and the average answer was two to three months is the long term. Megan snapped her neck

back so quickly that she almost injured herself. Somebody said, recovering after birth took a lot longer than expected, and I was just

totally honest, not in the mood. Oh, that's understandable. Totally. My husband refused to get intimate with me when I was pregnant. It was a long year. Wow.

I can understand why that would freak some people out. Not if you, like, what are you freaking out about? Because I know there's mates of mine that are like, it's getting rude. Excuse my buddy. Hit them. It's not. Like, rate yourself.

Rate yourself. It's not. It's definitely not, doll. It's not that Rate yourself. Rate yourself. It's not. It's definitely not. Duh. It's not that big. And that's not how that works. Somebody else said long distance,

crying face. So long distance was the reason there for the intimacy, the lack of it. And somebody else said quarantine. Quarantine was their

longest period of being not intimate with their partner. Wow, okay. Got to get in your bubble for that rejigging, right? Your rejig. Remember that time when it,

no, remember when everyone was like, you can rejig your bubble a little bit? Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, okay. I thought that was what you called, I was like, that's a weird thing to call that. Rejigging my bubble.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Bangers Bingo. That's all, mate. Well, our Bangers Bingo tour is on the podcast. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Bangers Bingo. That's all, mate. Well, our Bangers Bingo tour is on the road. We were in Christchurch last Thursday. And this Thursday, we're going to be at the Freeport Tavern in Tauranga. So we'd love for you to come along and join us after work.

It's by Bayfair. Yep. And super easy to register. Just you and three mates. You just register ZM online. Bring your mates along and up to you're in to win cash and prizes

all the night are we going to walk up the mountain while we're there absolutely absolutely like get up I was thinking

we get up there with a towel wipe off the sweat put our makeup on get the photo can you bring your selfie ring light

yeah I'll bring my light ring light us up and then I'll hide in the bushes and I'll take a video of you two and hopefully I want to get on Instagram as in the wild. Influences in the wild.

Oh, yeah. God, you know the other day I saw somebody doing, this girl was taking videos of her friend and I was like, oh my God. And then they stopped just as I was about to film them but it would have been so great

for that Instagram account. Influences in the wild. That's my dream is to get a video on that. They were TikToking. Were they in Christchurch? In Christchurch, yeah. They were TikToking. Everywhere.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, that kid was TikToking hard at the airport. But didn't we see a girl doing some posing at the airport? Yeah, right. Was she doing that one where they stand in the engine and take a photo? What? No, no, no, no, no, right. Was she doing that one where they stand in the engine and take a photo? No, no, no, no, no, no. Have you not seen like people that used to work for the airlines

that always take a photo and they'd be standing in the engine bit? I think they're allowed to. They're allowed to. No? Yeah, they do. I swear all of my friends that are like have worked have a photo like next to an engine or standing in the engine thing. Next to an engine's okay. You don't stand in the engine. There's to an engine or standing in the engine thing. Next to an engine's okay.

You don't stand in the engine. There's definitely photos of people standing in the engines. I mean, not while they're going. Not while they're going. Google that. I'd be just terrified that some pilot would be like, go, start it. Just scare the shit out of them. All right.

Well, we'll see you totalling at the Freeport Tavern for Banger's Bingo on Thursday. Send them online to register. Next on the show, it's election day in just a couple of weeks. Well, it could be. Well, yeah. Election day is October 17. You can actually vote now. Voting started on Saturday.

And the party leaders have revealed their campaign diets. You can also guess from their campaign diets. So what they're eating while they're out. Because they're on the road non-stop. And who's lying about what they're eating while they're out, because they're on the road non-stop. And who's lying about what they're eating from this? Okay. Anybody hitting two bags of lollies every time they get in the car?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast. We're close to election time. October 17 is election day but you can vote now. I'm going to vote today actually. So you know me, I like to be organised and get it out of the way. And you definitely don't like a queue or anything. No, that's why I love early voting

because there's no queues. But because of this, the political party leaders have been asked what their campaign diets are. Because they're on the road pretty much non-stop. They have been since,

you know, the lockdown levels were lifted. And anyone that goes away for work and travels, goes on the road, knows your diet just goes out the window. Your normal eating. Yeah.

Because, you know, you get to the airport, you're like, okay, I'll get a sandwich. And then you're like, okay, and a lolly cake and a mocha. But it's not like you have time to sit down and make any kind of salad or anything. No. So you often get takeaways. Yeah. And then before you know it, you've just put on a cheeky KG.

And you've only left home 20 minutes ago. Well, one of these leaders has lost weight apparently. Really? But we'll start with Jacinda Ardern. She said her diet is terrible. Her mum makes her little nutritious snacks for her bag but she often doesn't eat them and she opts for a pie

or something from a bakery. A bakery. Yeah, right. Is she one of those people that could eat anything she wants? Because she said she went to her Marlinsville fish and chip shop where she used to work. Golden Kiwi takeaway. Golden Kiwi, yeah.

And she had a fish, chips, and a sausage, and a token salad. A fish? Don't say a fish. Had fish. She had a piece of fish. She had a fish. She had fish, chips, a sausage and a token salad. Salad?

Yeah. That would have been the first time the Golden Cam takeaways ever been asked for a salad. They'd be like, just go to the supermarket and get a bag of salad if you want salad or a bloody fish and chip shop. Yeah, but she says she opts for a coffee and a muesli bar and when she says a muesli bar, it usually means a hash brown.

Okay. A potato muesli bar. when she says a muesli bar it usually means a hash brown. Okay. A potato muesli bar. Yeah. Judith Collins, her campaign diet. Just imagine the crown limo in the drive-thru for a couple of hash browns.

Oh my God, amazing. Yeah. And then, you know, when you eat them and you're kind of like, okay, I've got to kind of hide these. Start shoving them in the seats. Judith Collins,

her campaign diet consists of tea and water. She also says that her diet hasn't changed at all. She's trying to eat healthy during the campaign. And every now and then she likes to indulge in no sugar cola and or a kombucha. Do we think she's lying? But there was no specifics there. No.

I want to know specifics. If she's there. No. I want to know specifics. If she's having a muffin, I want to know what kind of muffin. And she'd definitely be like, margarine, please. Because that's just her age bracket. Marama Davidson loves a muffin. She stops at Petrol Station and the only thing that is there is on the menu for her. Right. It's obviously just on the go all the time.

So, yeah, a pie or a muffin is her go-to. Then we go to David Seymour. Souls. What? He likes to eat souls when he's on the road. What souls? Like people's souls. Children's souls.

Oh, I think he's getting the pizza place confused. Cells. No, no, no, no, no. Cells. Oh, souls. Cells, yeah. Just pulls up to a kindergarten and goes, bad. He's down to 70kgs. The two burgers Wisconsin and Fuel are fueling his campaign. And isn't he always on the Red Bulls? Is he on the

Red Bull money? Because at the end he said in a lot of Red Bull. Oh, he'd saunter up to the Red Bull girls in the mini and be like what's going on here? He'd be talking about Sam on the campaign trail is waving his Red Bull. Yeah, right. What's happening? But yeah, that was his diet and he still reckons he's lost weight.

Wow. Damn it. Lucky. Yeah. Burgers and Red Bull and he's like, God, I just can't keep any weight on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, live here. ZM.