ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 5th October 2021

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

Pandora Papers  Wedding Cake  Top 6: L3 Roadmap  PJ Drop Offs  Secret Door!  Am I a Bad Person?  Mr Toyboy has a favourite  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from try-through and mick delivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. Carwen at the social media desk, could you please bring in the gift box that we have received? Thank you.

This is, I thought we could talk about this today. Vaughn, I arrived at work today and saw this mail from the United States of America. I've got my knife. No, I've already opened it. I know what's... I've done a check. I'm like the people that check the Prime Minister's stuff for anthrax. Okay. I need to know that we're getting, you know, not getting any dog poo in the box.

Okay. Confligent Vag ham. Looks like gam-yam style. Yes, it is. It is. Now, this is from Brian, who we've met before. He's come in. Brian messaged me the other day regarding some flight attendant stuff.

He did. Now, he's popped us in a couple of little, some smellies, some treats, disposable face masks. Those are nice. That's lovely. I'll just pass those to you, Megan. But this is what we need to do, Vaughn. This is what the big thing is.

I would love you to read that out, please. This is from Brian. Vaughn, we need to have a chat. I was shook the other week during Fact of the Day when you said you'd never had a jockstrap before. You have no idea the comfort that you're missing. I've had a few wines when I'd heard that, and right then and there,

I semi-drunkly burgess you will be. From one gay man to a straight ally. Honorary gay such as yourself. Enjoy the all-day comfort least risk of bum acne and your bits being supported.

Please no picture necessarily be sent back. Look at the brand name. Nasty pig. Jesus. Because you know I was supposed to have my ass laser last week

and I think I'm Nearing the end It's bumming Thanks so much To Off and On For taking care of my What's this? Is this Nasty Pig?

Yeah it's a Nasty Pig Nasty Pig logo Yeah Lovely smell Not too hairy Her arse at the moment So this could get A workout tonight

And I'm I'm almost sure Once I put these on my wife won't be able to say no to me and we will make love. Passionate love. Oh wow, look at that. How big

does he, oh no, I suppose that'd be about right. What size is this? A large. 95% Modal 5% Spanx made in China. Look at that. Executive internet, laughing there from the back seats. Wow.

Brian, this is too kind. You really didn't need to. Wow, there's really nothing at the back, is there? I mean, I say like I don't know what these are like, but we... Do you have a pair? What size? No, I don't have a pair.

Do you have a pair? No. Well, be honest, we're amongst friends here. No, I don't have a pair. So I've got a pair of these before you. Yeah, but you're a bottom, so you would. Now I get it. So only bottoms have them.

You're putting them over your jeans. Oh, I don't know if I need to say that. Oh, wow, wow, wow. I don't know if I need to say that. There's too big a pouch. Show us the bag. Megan, you need to take in the pouch on the sewing machine. Oh, my God. Or I can probably. It is a generous. I need to take in the pouch. Show us the bag. Megan, you need to take in the pouch on the sewing machine. Oh my god.

I need to take in the pouch. It is a generous nasty pig pouch, isn't it? No, let it go, let it go. It is. No. It's because your jeans are preventing it from cupping properly. Yeah, turn around so we can see

your... Did you see that? I gave him a dick compliment. Look how open that is. You're welcome. So... Hang on, you've just... Only bottoms wear these. Turn around. Oh, my God.

For those who aren't overly familiar with homosexual culture and terms, thank you for adjusting that. Undies. It's not the first time you've adjusted a bottoms jockstrap, I feel. But... So the bottom of the people who... If you imagine you were to stack your homosexuals, you would put your bottom on the bottom of the people who If you imagine you were to stack your homosexuals You would put your bottom on the bottom

And then the top would go on the top Did we need that explained? Okay, right This is for Let me pack it a little I don't have any socks or anything I don't want my face mask going down there I've got some packing paper

Look at my lumpy junk now. That's disgusting. That's even worse. Can you get different sizes of pouch? Serious question. L-waist small pouch. Wow. Just wow, eh?

Thanks, Brian, you dirty bastard. Brian, that's actually what he messaged me about. Not sending me one, but he was like, I can't believe you hadn't Thanks, Brian, you dirty bastard. Brian, that is a quick turnaround for Brian. That's actually about what he messaged me about. Not sending me one, but he was like, I can't believe you hadn't heard of them, you sweet, naive young man. And that must have been when he was on the wines. Yeah. Isn't that a bit quick? I know it did. He must have bloody paid for some postage there, Brian.

We really appreciate it. The smell is as well, the treats. It's really too much. Yeah, it could be a Victoria's Secret smell. And after today's mood, I think that's really picked us up, hasn't it? Because we heard from a lot of anti-vaxxers today. We did today. Unfortunately.

Unfortunately. Which ruined our will to live somewhat. But thank you so much, Brian. Really do appreciate that. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughwn and Megan. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleetspawn and Megan. Three minutes past six.

This is a hell of a banter for behind the scenes for 6am. Well, when you're an early morning badass like me. Oh, yes. We're going to run in with Johnny Law this morning. We were saying, as you were pulled over on the way to work and messaged us that we're surprised this doesn't happen more.

I am too. I am too. But that way that I was going this morning, I don't usually go. And they have just changed the speed limit. Yeah, and it keeps creeping. Every six months it goes 500 metres more down the road. It's 60 kilometres in a rural area.

Give me strength. Get me on the phone to Hosking. I'll talk to him about the bloody police filling their coffers or whatever. What is it that he says? What do they say? A revenue gathering exercise? Nah, I was going too fast.

So you got a ticket for what? 80 and a 60? Yeah. Naughty. He's a naughty boy. So how much is that? Did they give you the ticket? No, they didn't give you the ticket.

They're going to send it. It's contactless. Oh, I thought you'd got away with it. I was like, oh my God, cute. I thought I had it one stage as well, but then I learnt I had not. You learnt you didn't have sweet breasts to just unbutton that shirt. They don't always work, Fletch. Spoiler alert. Give me three more weeks of little three and I'll have them.

If I had sweet breasts, they'd work. Or just squeeze them together, get some heabage going on. Didn't work with that time they had the motorcycle cop in their tight pants. That didn't work. What? They were wearing tight pants? Yeah, they were wearing those tight motorcycle pants.

Those weird... Joppers. Jopper purrs. Yeah, yeah, that's the only time I've got a ticket. And he wasn't having a bar of my breasts. Joppers. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. But because he was on a motorbike, he was hiding behind a bar. So I was like, that's not fair. Yeah. Did you use that defence? No, I was just like, I'll just take the ticket.

Sometimes cops even drive buses for the ultimate undercover. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. You can tell it's them though because it's got heaps of aerials on the back. Okay. And it's got those steel wheels that only hold in buses that a cop car has. All right.

The top six is coming up soon on the show. Yeah, the top six stops on the roadmap to freedom. Yesterday afternoon, four o'clock, the Prime Minister and Ashley Bloomfield presented to us one of the most confusing, hard to fold back roadmaps that I've seen since I was a child and my dad said, quick, take the Jason's guide and tell me when I'm going to take the next left.

Which I said, I don't even know what this is. So we'll delve into that soon with the top six. Yes, the top six stops on the road map to freedom. ZM's $50,000 secret sound is back. All thanks to Neon. Your next chances this morning with us are coming up at 7 and 8 o'clock. So all the guesses that we've had so far and the one clue that we've had, Level 3 made me do it, you can find on the ZM Secret Sound Instagram page.

But I believe Instagram is still down. Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp this morning. All your Zuckerberg classics. All your Zuckerbergs are down. Although I was just on Facebook and it looked... Okay, I think Facebook is all right. Oh, my Facebook's not working. No, Facebook's still down.

I think maybe the mobile app's okay. Right. It wasn't for me. So the clues there, when that gets up and running, this is the secret sound. So pour over that. The Activator coming up at seven. Next on the show, your girl, Vaughn Shakira, in trouble.

Shakira, Shakira. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Well, the Pandora Papers are out. This is a... These are kind of fascinating, but I don't want to read them all. I need someone to break it down to me in a Netflix-style four-part documentary series. I know, it does need a documentary because there is a lot to follow, but basically a trove of leaked information

and a network of journalists working secretly for months and months all over the world, including here in New Zealand, TVNZ and in New Zealand Herald journalists are the ones in New Zealand. Who did we have on the job? So, hi, Tiffin. What a juicy... I don't know.

Oh, that would be so fun. Yeah, and so it has revealed a lot about world leaders and about celebrities. And no... Bad stuff about celebrities or just intimate details? I don't feel like we should be learning things that aren't... Nothing illegal. And everything they're saying that's been uncovered,

these celebrities' representatives, they've said that they have disclosed this anyway. And it's what we know is that really super rich people use tax havens, places like the Cayman Islands, the Virgin Islands, to... The Cook Islands to an extent, right? Or have they tightened it a bit? Unsure.

There's no mention here of the Cook Islands. But yeah, they use these havens basically to pay less tax. So there's an example of the former Prime Minister Tony Blair in the UK saving £300,000. Oh, because he bought the company that owned a house. Yeah, so he doesn't have to pay tax. Rather than own the house. What are you thinking for? Have you bought a company?

No, I just think that's so funny. I mean, it's not illegal, is it? No, no, it's not. I'll just buy the house. What are you sneaking for? Have you bought a company? No, I just think that's like so funny. I mean, it's not illegal, is it? No, no, it's not. I'll just buy the company. But, and let's be honest, if we all ended up with, you know, a couple of hundred million, you'd do the same, right? You'd get a really good accountant and lawyer and you'd do this. Yeah.

We'd all do this. Like an accountant can, I guess when you're at that level, your accountant's like, I specialise in these high-level deals. So Shakira, your girl Shakira, has been accused of using offshore companies in the Virgin Islands to conceal assets. Didn't she have some tax problems in the past? Yeah, in Spain.

That's right. So buying the company to buy the house and save money, that's not illegal. No. Is that illegal, what Shakira's? No, apparently it's not because lawyers of Shakira, who's only 44, I don't know, I just thought she'd be older, declared,

said that she's declared all of her offshore companies. So, she's not doing anything illegal. It just sounds like it should be. There's also Claudia Sh illegal. It just sounds like a shippy. If you're making all your money off people of a country, right, so these people are paying all the money for your music and your concerts

and everything, it would be fair to assume that you'd made so much money off that country you would pay tax to that country so that the people who had come could get something off tax. I know, but so she's like, well, no, I'm going to put it through an offshore account

so I won't actually pay that country any tax back. Yeah. Other celebrities, Claudia Schiffer. She does the same. 90s model. Cricketer Sashen Tendulkar, who is Indian cricket royalty. He would be worth a load of money. He apparently also has companies set up in tax havens.

Vladimir Putin, lots of world leaders as well have done this. But I mean, if the law allows it, what's to stop them from doing it? Well, yeah, exactly. Because I always remember I was once, when we could travel, it was in the Cayman Islands. And one of my friend's friends who I was there with said, look at that building and it was just a nondescript

four level, tiny little office building and he said, that is the office of so many huge companies. Really? Just to have a post-law juror. Just because the Cayman Islands is a tax haven, yeah. And I was just like, oh my god, it's just like a regional,

like an office block you'd see in Palmerston North or something. Or New Plymouth. You'd just be like, oh, cool. And it's just a registered office of so many companies. Right. I was like, that is crazy. But yeah, let's be honest.

We'd all do it if we had this much money. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I like to think I wouldn't, but I'd probably also CBF actually dealing with the admin of not. Like I would just hand it to an accountant and be like, I assume you know what to do. Yeah.

Well, the Pandora Papers, 12 million documents from 14 financial service companies all over the world. It'll be interesting to see as more information comes out about New Zealand, what's going on here. Yeah. Because we've had some bajillionaires move here, haven't we? It'll be interesting to see as more information comes out about New Zealand, what's going on here. Yeah. Because we've had some bajillionaires move here, haven't we? Yeah, and I'd love to know where Dan Carter and Honor are putting their chemist's warehouse money, to be honest.

You want a hard line. Where's that going? You want to know. What are they investing in? I don't know. Hopefully, I don't know, some farming blocks. It'd be nice. Farming blocks.

Some property. I was thinking they were more of a forestry looking couple. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, right. I don't know. Hard to hold Harvey. The name's already there. They do the wood thing.

Get some pine trees in you. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. This has been shared on a wedding shaming forum on Reddit. A wedding shaming forum. When I read that, I was like, I want to read this. This is a UK man. His name's John. And he posted this as part of a conversation he had with the bride.

So he went to the wedding. Sounds like he had a lovely time. And then after, this is after the wedding, he gets a message from the bride. Now, just before I tell you what the message was, the bride and groom had everyone pay for a portion of the cake. So you paid for one

slice of the cake, which equated to like seven New Zealand dollars. So if you're a couple, you paid like $14. And then all the guests helped pay for the cake. But, okay. Was that all they were asked to give on the day? I don't know. It may have been presents as well.

That's pretty sweet if that's all you're paying to go to a wedding. No presents, just chuck in for a slush cake. There was no mention of no presents so I can only imagine that was added as well. But this is the message he got from the bride after the wedding. Okay. Hey, so we were just looking at the CCTV.

The best sort of wedding video. The security cameras. You look back on your special day ten years later, you're like... From a high angle in black and white with the timestamp at the bottom. Yeah. Hey, so we were just looking at the CCTV and saw that you had two pieces of the wedding cake.

We announced that each guest must pay per slice and notice that you only paid for one. Can you please send through £3.66 ASAP? Oh my God. Oh.

Are you kidding me? So she's asking him to send through $7.15 New Zealand cents. How are these people even friends with these people? Who has the balls to message someone that? Yeah.

Did they want to save some or something? I don't know. Well, then do a slice it up, take the top piece and put it over there. Did someone miss out? Like, what's the... But you'd imagine that beforehand, everyone had paid for their part of the cake. Unless someone's bitching that they missed out on a slice

and they paid for it. Yeah. So, yes, they said that the wedding was lovely, but it's left quite a sour taste. And the cake was lovely too, but not worth the debacle afterwards. Yeah. It's lucky you didn't follow up with your, your wedding, your wedding, the pudding. The pudding, pudding gate.

That was absolute pudding gate at Vaughan's wedding. Goodness me. Well, because some people got too drunk and went on the dance floor and then Fletch and I. Hard to go back to a creme brulee after six buckets of champagne. Yeah, the puddings came up late. They just put them on the tables and they were just sitting there. I probably had about eight of them.

That's fine. Yeah, no, they've got to be eaten. And then there was trading going off between creme brulee and, was it brownie? Yeah, it was some sort of like, what do they call it? Price, no, insider trading. Insider trading from team brownie to team creme brulee. They were good brulees.

They were good brulees. Yeah, they cracked on the top, didn't they? Yeah, they were beautiful. Venue refunded a lot of the dessert funds as well. Did they? Yeah. Because of Pudding Gate. Because of Pudding Gate.

They were late. Late with the puds, yeah. Late, late Pudding Gate. Little did they know that Fletchie had quite a few pud puds. Fletch and Brad. Yeah, they got eaten. From the ZM Think Tank This is the Top 6 Hello there

The Top 6 stubs on the Roadmap to Freedom Auckland's Roadmap to Freedom Stink For the Western Northern Waikato yesterday. Auckland getting all this sweet six-point plan and you were told

Stanley Lane, level three. Yeah. For, well, for at least the next five days, right? Yep. To judge where we're at. Look, you can go almost straight back to level two. So don't be down in the dumps there, champ. Or you could be stuck in this perpetual level three with the rest of us. Ha ha, see you there.

Top six stops on the roadmap to freedom for Auckland. Number six. Step one, let's have some fun. Picnics for ten. Beach walks for zen. Bowls for grand. The fun has begun. For grand. The fun has begun. So you'll be able to go for a picnic? Now, so if I go on a picnic with friends, we're allowed to wear our masks. Yes. Socially distanced.

Yeah, but then what if I want to eat my picnic? Can I just quickly just finger it down the side of my mask? Yes. But am I allowed to take the mask off? Or put the sandwich inside the mask like a horse's feed bag. Oh, okay. But then, okay, right. No, and you're right.

You could, maximum 10 merging of two bubbles. You're your own bubble. Yeah, right. So you'd have to merge with another bubble, the end. At a time. No more. No, at a time. Not a full-time merge.

Social distance. Okay. Yeah. Maybe I'll get a long straw and won't share a milkshake. You're allowed to take your mask off to eat and drink. No, because the COVID gets in. No, but that's where you move back. Oh, right.

Okay. You're eating shame. Okay. Sure. Number five on the list of the top six stops of the roadmap to freedom. Step one, part two will be to your liking. You can go fishing, hunting or hiking. Great.

Any questions? No. Yep, you're still not allowed to hunt Kiwis. That's still not allowed. Hard no on eating them. Hard no on eating them. Okay, so number four

on the list of the top six stops on the road map to freedom. Step two, part un. Retail with two meter social distancing. Buy yourself something fun. Retail will be back. But with two meter social distancing and strict rules on how many people can be inside one shop at one time. And maybe some week soon.

Yeah, yeah, this is step two. This has got no locked in date. Yeah. This is step two. Number three, step this is step two. This has got no locked in date. Yeah. This is step two. Number three, step two, part two. Libraries and museums just for you. Oh, hold on. That should have been step two, part two.

Libraries and museums just for you. The rhyming part was there. Yeah. And missing the feelings of other people's pee. Public pools will be open. Yippee. Yay. I feel like you made it hard for yourself trying to do a Dr. Seuss.

Yeah, I really did. Really did. I didn't have time to make number one rhyme, so don't look forward to that being the best of the lot. Number two on the list of the top six steps on the rebound of freedom for Auckland. Step three, part tahi. Hairdressers, beauty salons will be open to do the hard mahi. Because there's a lot of you who are going to need a lot of work.

I'm starting to see some experts on the news that look like they need a haircut, eh? Their roots done or something. Yeah. They're just like... And number one on the list of the top six points on the roadmap to freedom for Auckland. This is step three, part two. on the list of the top six points on the Roadmap to Freedom for Auckland. This is step three, part two. Cafes, bars, restaurants, casinos, cinemas and theatres will be back.

What was the air for? It seems like a long way away. It could be a long way away. But again, 50 people maximum in defined spaces. Okay. Confined? No, they are defining spaces. Okay. Confined? No, they are defining spaces. Oh, okay.

So like one cafe or one restaurant. And cinemas, like one person per cinema. Casinos, I don't know how they do it. Every third pokies? I'm still confused as ever, even after watching yesterday and listening to that. Yeah. Can we just have each person have one person that follows us around and just says yes, no, no, yes.

You're doing that wrong. Yes, no. Yeah. Okay. Everybody team up with someone who's clear on the rules. But stay distanced and wear your mask. Yeah. Unless they're in your bubble.

I think. I don't know, guys. That's today's top six. So this is in Middlesbrough in the UK. It's a primary school and the UK school has not got a problem with the kids per se. This is a problem with the parents. They have said that they will no longer be accepting school drop-offs or with parents wearing pyjamas or dressing gowns.

They said it is not appropriate. So they have put this on their Facebook, on social media, and said, please can we ask that all parents, carers, dress appropriately when dropping off children and collecting them from school. Dressing gowns on the schoolyard are not appropriate. So they're actually getting out of the car and walking into the gate. See, if you're just dropping them off at the gate

and you're not getting out, that's fine, right? But if you're having to go in, that's like going to the supermarket and you see people in their 90s or their PJs. You're just like, no. You know that's a people. I know you hate that. I know people don't wear shoes. I know we're in New Zealand. See, I'll wear no shoes into the supermarket.

It's not hygienic. It is not hygienic. Come on, New Zealand. We're better than that. But at the beach, at summer, you're just going to nip in for a tub of ice cream, four ice blocks. Yeah, just pop another. Where are your jandies?

Nah, because of the bungling him out. I'm not wearing one jandu because then I look crazy. I know. It's an unpopular opinion, but I'm standing by it. So a lot of people are here for it. They're saying it's not hard to get dressed in the morning. These kids are going to get ridiculed at school if they see mum or dad roll out of the car in their gym jams.

Oh, my God, I would hate that. But then a lot of people were like, look, we're rolling out of bed. Times are tough. There's kids screaming, get in the car. Like, I've never had to wrangle kids to do a school drop-off, but I can imagine it can be chaos. You wouldn't have done, you'd done the school pick-up. Yeah.

More than many times. Yeah, I've done the school drop-off a few times, but I run a tight ship. But do any parents wear PJs? Oh, not that I've seen. But as you say, I haven't been often enough. If you were in your PJs, you'd just stay in the car, right? Yeah.

You'd be none the wiser. You're not going to get out of the car and the risk of flashing your bits. When you wear your PJs, you think, I'm just going through the drive-through or I'm just dropping the kids off. That's when you have an accident and you've got to get out and change a tyre. And then you're in your 90 and you're flashing everyone your bits on State Highway 1. Or one of the other parents who have a kid at your school have been done for, like, some major fraud

and they're outside the school trying to get some comment to see if you ever thought they were, you know, anything other than a model citizen. Yeah. They're like, can we have a talk to you? And you're in, you know, your gruts and your... It'll definitely be that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Play ZM's Flash Phone, Fawn and Megan. Opening a PDF. A PDF of the winners of the 2021 New World Wine Awards. And congratulations must go to three Sparklings. Yep.

Made the top 50. And the top Sparkling, the humble $14 bottle of Lindau. Yes, that's why we're reading out some wine awards because Lindau, baby. Wow. It was dubbed sophisticated yet approachable and given 96 out of 100.

Do you think then they were like, because I'd imagine it's blind testing, right? Yeah, it was. It was blind testing. Imagine you like realize that you've just given, Because I'd imagine it's blind testing, right? Yeah, it was. It was blind testing. Imagine you realise that you've just given... To Lindau. So it was the Lindau Special Reserve Rosé. Oh, right.

So bubbly rosé. It's not your usual Lindau classic. Yeah, your other sparklies. Graham Norton's Prosecco. Ooh. Prosecco Doc. Prosecco Doc Rosé. Now, that's the first time a Prosecco Rosé blend has been able to hit the top 50

because the Italian government would not let you put Pinot Noir grapes in anything called a Prosecco. Really? That let the ruling call on Prosecco, the Italians. Well, they don't want you coming in with your other wines. And muddying up their Prosecco. Wow. So a Lindell Sparkling. Yeah.

Right up there. There's, yeah, so there's different categories and different winners. It's just going to mean more of those gold and silver stickers on wines that I think means I should buy it because it's $2 cheaper. Have you, sometimes I've bought them being like, oh, gold sticker. And then when I get home, I'm like, oh, it says grapes from Marlborough. Oh, totally.

They mean nothing. They mean nothing. I thought it was an award. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you look closely, it's like, this is a bottle. Yeah.

They know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yellow sticker. Bastards, they got me again. Those basic bees like me. 2020, gold sticker. That's like me. 2020. Gold sticker. That's like all it says.

Yeah. You got to look closely at those. I'm on the Rose winners page. Now, is there any mention of the Kylie Minogue Rose? Do you think I just search Kiles? Kylie. She needs to be paid. One mention of Kylie.

Kylie Minogue Rosé. The Kylie Minogue Rosé got 90 out of 100, which entitles it to a silver sticker. Wow. It's good to see Kylie's doing well. It got a silver sticker. Do you know all this mention of the Kylie Minogue Rosé, we still

haven't received a single bottle for free from Kylie. It's not about that for me. It's about helping out Kylie. It's about supporting my favourite Australian pop star from the 80s. Kylie Minogue. Kylie Midnuganew because financially you know she needs it. Does she? No.

I think she's eight. You're Googling Kylie Minogue's net worth. It's got to have gone up on the arse end of some wine, eh? Like. On the arse end of some wine. You know Like, on the arse end of some wine. You know? Well, I mean, those bottles of wine are like 20 bucks. The worst part is when you look for the one that you usually drink and it's like well

down the list. It's like a bronze and you're like, whatever. Oh, hon, she's only got 120 million. I would have thought it would have been more. No. She's been around for so long. It's 1.52 metres as well. Is she in the Pandora Papers though?

Is she hiding her wealth? ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Season 10. ZM's $50,000 Secret sound currently at $10,000. The jackpot all thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked by Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon.

Soundkeeper Owls joins us. Good morning. Good morning. I hope you all guys had a refreshing sleep. How are you? My sleep is alright. That wasn't as exciting. Why are you interested in my sleep?

Stay in your lane! Stay in your lane! I'm just a sound keeper, nothing more. Yes, keep the sound and keep your nose out of my sleeping business. It's the worst. Stay in your lane. You shall have no opinion other than what you were. You dare ask a man how he slammed my sleeve.

How was it after just one day of secret sounding? I'm not going to lie. I was exhausted. I was dead. I had a cry and now I'm good. We're already getting the messages. Hey, guys, guys, just call me. How about this one?

Just call me. This text came in just before. Hi, team. I definitely know the secret sound. Call me when you can. Regards, Walter. Oh, Walter, we can't call you back. That's against the rules, Walter.

So we know the secret sound. I'll play it again. Let's have a listen. Now, when you say we know the secret sound, you mean we know that that is secret sound. I'll play it again. Let's have a listen. Now, when you say we know the secret sound, you mean we know that that is the sound. We don't know what it is. We don't know what it is. Famously, we do not know.

No, so don't ask me. And I don't want to know, but you do, Ella. You're the one person that does. And Hina has managed to get through. Good morning, Hina. Hi, how's it going? Good. So you've done the hard bit.

You've got through. Yes. Now that secret sound, you've had a day now to pour over that sound. What do you think it is? I think that it is in your kitchen when you have those push cupboard opening doors. So you push it and you let go and it opens. Ooh, they're very fun. They're very entertaining too. They're very fun, yes. We've got them in our house. You do? Okay, so have you tested the sound back and forth? I tried, yeah. It kind of sounded like it, but I don't know.

I hope so. It's hard though because the sound is always amplified, isn't it? The secret sound. It's always very up close and then boosted. Exactly. Too obvious. Well, Hannah, as fun as those things are, unfortunately,

that isn't the secret. That's okay. Should have called Walter. Oh, I know. I know. Hey, um,

Hannah, we do have for you a month's neon. Oh my gosh, that jizzes. Is that Walter trying to get through? Yeah, he's waiting there. Walter, you missed out. Don't say it, Walter.

Don't say it. Walter. Yeah, how are you, man? You missed out. Don't say it, Walter. It'll be a wasted guess if you say it now. We've taken our guess. You're going to have to try to get through it at 8 o''t say it, Walter. It'll be a wasted guess. If you say it now, we've taken our guess. You're going to have to try to get through it at 8 o'clock.

Oh, no. But you do know what it is, though. Yes, I do. How much percentage-wise are you sure? A million percent. Okay. You don't know how percentages work, Walter, so I'm pretty sure you don't know the secret sound.

Best of luck next hour. Yeah, best of luck. And, Henna, well done. We've got a month streaming, all thanks to Neon. All guesses this week that get on air get a month's Neon subscription, and $10,000 is up for grabs. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Don't shoot me.

I'm just the messenger. I'm so sorry to do this to you today, but Whittakers have confirmed. Not now! Not now, chocolate lovers. Because you said, don't shoot me on the messenger. So it's not good news. Because if they were like, Whittakers have confirmed free chocolate for everybody. Well, that could be bad news actually.

We could all go a little crazy. They have confirmed they'll be increasing their prices from, I believe, yesterday. Oh, not now. Yesterday couldn't get baffling enough. I'll tell you what we're also going to do. Increase the price of chocolate. So this is a statement from Whittaker's. Okay.

Hello, chocolate lovers. Please, for the remainder of the statement, read it. Read it as no jello. But read it like coked up no jello. Hello, chocolate lovers. Remember when she got done for the coke and the drugs? Read it like that. Hello, chocolate lovers. Hello, chocolate lovers.

We wanted you to be the first to know that from today we will unfortunately be bringing in a price increase. This is going to be hard to make. You're like Helena Bonham Carter playing cloaked up Marjola Lawson. I can't do it. I can't keep it up. This is something we've resisted for the last two years, but over that time, our costs have steadily risen.

Cutting these costs with lesser quality ingredients is never an option for us, as we hope you'll understand. Cut the bullshit, Brian and Andrew. Tell me how much. It doesn't say. It says it will be less than 5%. Okay, Chris. Just get it on special.

That's not bad. When it's on special, get a couple of blocks. Why did they do a press release for less than 5%? I like that they did a press release because I don't like it when people sneak it in and pretend nothing happened. I never know because I only ever buy it when it's at the end of the aisle and it's like... On special, yes. This is now a dollar.

And you're like, that's ridiculous. How the hell do they even make that for a dollar? I'll take eight. Sure. Yeah, so less than 5%. So, I mean... And it's made in New Zealand and we're supporting New Zealand made.

And it's by far the better chocolate, let's be honest. The orangutans. Yeah, they're good. They love it. Yeah, they love it. They're good. So yeah, freight and distribution. Who's got the orangutan ad at the moment?

Who's got the orangutan? Oh, that's RJ's doing the licorice. Oh, yeah, that's right. They've got the orangutan. They've got the orangutan. You keep saying tang. It's orangutan. No, no, I licked it.

It had a tang to it. It's a tang. Orangutan. It's an orangutan. It's orangutan. No, no, I licked it. It had a tang to it. It's a tang. Orangutan. Is it orangutan? It's orangutan, yeah. No, it's orangutans. No, it's not. Like tangy.

It's orangutan. It's orangutan. It doesn't have a G on the end. It's not orangutan. Are you sure? It's orangutan. It's definitely not orangutan. Oh, my God.

Are you telling me there's a 5% Whitaker's increase and it's orangutan? And there's no G. Well, they had to lose that. I was today years old when I learned that it wasn't orangutan. We've definitely talked about how it's orangutan. And there's no G. Well, they had to lose that. I was today years old when I learned that it wasn't orangutan. We've definitely talked about how it's orangutan before. Have we? But I actively chose to ignore that and still give it a hard G. Orangutang.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Therapeutic. ZM, Fletch, Vaughn. I've got a note. I'm allowed to do that. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. It's 19 past 7. IM. I've got a note. I'm allowed to do that. Fleeche Vaughn and Megan. It's 19 past 7. I can show you my therapist's note.

Vaughn needs to every now and then invent a little frustration or anger or sadness. I've got an exemption. Yeah. Through a mask or without a mask, he is allowed to scream. Okay. A friend of mine, a very good friend of mine, went to an open home at the weekend. I just told these guys about it. He told me about it at the weekend.

And then I told these guys and they're like, whoa. So here it is. Here is the story of the open home he went to. He said, went to this open home and he sent a link. And I was like, that is a cool place. Okay. Bit of land, semi-rural. He said, I don't know, maybe the next step in the property ladder. Okay. He's like, this is a cool place. Bit of land, semi-rural. He said, I don't know, maybe the next step in the property later.

Okay. He's like, this is pretty cool. Want to know the coolest thing about it? I was like, is it the pool? He's like, it's cooler than the pool. I was like, what is it? What's cooler than the pool? And he's like, well, in the lounge, the real estate agent went,

oh, people quite like this feature, and flicked a switch in the bookshelf, and a secret door opened. Like a movie. The bookshelf went a secret door opened. Like a movie. The bookshelf went. This is our dreams are made of. The bookshelf went. Like folded in on itself. And there was a whole room behind the bookshelf.

Wow. Of what? Well, they had it apparently as a bedroom, but you'd have it like as a media room or something. Like not a room you'd use every day. Because imagine being like, oh well, time for bed, flick Was he buying the Coatesville mansion that Kim.com had in? No

He had a panic room, didn't he? It didn't look like a mansion It just looked like a cool house Right Yeah It was a cool house And he said it was such a weird, cool, eclectic house By the time you got to the end of the tour

You forgot about the bookcase But then you had to go back out that room And you saw it again And weird, like, cool, eclectic house. By the time you got to the end of the tour, you forgot about the bookcase, but then you had to go back out that room and you saw it again and you're like, the bookcase again. It would be pretty cool to have a room like that, eh? Yeah. You can't have it as a panic room because you'd never end up needing to use it. You'd be like, ah, robbers. Flick.

Zzzz. Or you get in there running towards you and you're like, flick the switch again. Flick. switch again Flick They'll never know I'm here Yeah Or how to open this door Yeah Lindy in

You're like I had you know I was in here I watched the bookshelf slide Back Shit Or you get in there And you need to go to the toilet Yeah

Oh That'd be the worst You'd have to have a bucket in there for pees and poos. Yeah. But then you've got a really nice house and you're still pooping in the bucket in the secret room. Yeah. Yeah. So did that sell him on the place?

Is he going to get it? No. No. It's out of his price range, I think. When was he going through the house of the secret? I'm his friends with boys. Nosy Parker. Yeah.

Yeah. Sam Rose and I will be like, I see an open home on our road. And I'll be like, well, I've always wanted what my house looks like from that house. And you walk in, you're like, I live down there. What can they see? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, I've got to stop getting changed in front of the ranch ladder. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan.

In case you're trying to get on Facebook or Instagram or WhatsApp this morning, it is down. It's not just your Wi-Fi. Currently three hours. WhatsApp as well and you mentioned WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook. Yep. I was looking at the longest outage they've ever had. It was 14 hours. Because this is long. Like, sometimes it'll go

down for 20 minutes. Twitter's loving it. Twitter's loving it. Twitter literally tweeted hello to literally everybody and it had Twitter's like, Twitter literally tweeted, hello to literally everybody. And it had something like 300,000 retweets. Well, yeah, I'm about to tell you something that Instagram is creating. Maybe if we haven't got it back again.

So they are looking at a new feature. This is for burnt out users to take a break during, you know, like scrolling time. So you can opt in for this break. It has a pause button so people won't be able to comment on your stuff.

You won't be able to send them DMs or anything. Will you get notifications? I don't think so. So it's meant to give you a break. So it basically puts everything on hold. But do people who need a break recognise that they need a break? I don't know. Because then they could just delete the app off their phone for a bit or something.

Yeah. Because their account will still be there when they get back. So it is essentially that. You can pause it and then unpause it at will. The other one that I found interesting was this new feature, which is about to be rolled out. It's called the Nudge. So this is when a user goes

into a deep dive. So I guess they can see what you're looking at. And if you are in a deep dive on a specific topic for a long period of time, the app will jump in and encourage them to check out something completely different. Nudge you out of your deep dive. Wow. Is that like a misinformation thing? Maybe. Maybe it's almost like they've realised what they're doing to the world. Yeah. And taking some steps to mitigate that.

Taking a little shuffle, not some steps. Yeah. Yeah. But that's interesting when you're going on a deep dive and it's like, hey, you've been doing this for hours. Do you want to try something else? Yeah, you guys should check out this hot model doing a dance. Unless

that's your deep dive. Yeah. And then maybe you want to learn more about the vaccine. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Am I a bad person? Alright, it's time for Am I a Bad Person? We've received some correspondence and I think this could be a bit of a situation

that families are facing this Christmas. The email reads, Hey guys, my family is in WW3 at the moment. That's Wonder Woman 3. Despite Wonder Woman 2 not, you know, being critically panned, they're going to go for a third. Or it could be World War 3.

It sounds like their family's currently participating in their own World War III. Yes. My family's in World War III at the moment over our Christmas plans. My partner and I have offered to host. It was accepted. We're happy to supply all food and alcohol

on one condition. Whoa. I know. That's a lot. They've only got 10 guests. Okay. Which is still a lot, but if you were thinking like huge Christmas, maybe don't plan one of those.

We want all 10 of our guests to be fully vaccinated. Not only do we feel really strongly about vaccinations, but we've also got a one-year-old to protect. My parents and sister's family are all vaccinated, but my brother isn't and has no intention to do so. This is going to be a big thing over Christmas, right? Yeah. I mean, it's already becoming a thing. Totally.

I'm so glad I'm not in that scenario because I would have had the exact same conversation because I've got an eight-month-old. So I've already said if you want to come and hang out, you have to be vaccinated. Totally. I mean, in this latest outbreak, just what, yesterday they said there's a newborn baby. Whose father visited? Yeah, with COVID. So now the baby has it. Yeah.

And I think this latest outbreak there's been quite a few babies. Totally. This is why we get vaccinated to protect the young and the old who can't get vaccinated and the people who have, you know, like... Yeah. I've got two kids under 12 and I'm terrified about them going back to school after the school holidays. Yeah.

Because, yeah. I'm terrified of going out even when we're allowed to and taking Bastion with me because I'm like, oh God, I could think of... That would just be my worst nightmare. Oh, yeah. If he tested positive. Do anything you can to keep your kids from getting sick.

Yeah. So this person is saying, we're hosting Christmas. We've got a one-year-old to protect. We're all fully vaccinated. Brother can't be bothered. It's going to cause drama

though, isn't it? This is not going to be the only case. No. Definitely not. Especially with like, if there are older relatives, like if you've got

the grandparents around and they are, you know, they're ripe for the COVID picking, aren't they? Grandparents. Oh yeah. Shit yeah. Even if they're vaccinated, you know, they're ripe for the COVID picking, aren't they, grandparents? Oh, yeah. Shit, yeah.

Even if they're vaccinated, you could still give it to them. Yeah. So, yeah. Somebody text messaged in, if the brother can prove that he has had a negative COVID test, he's proving he's safe, is he allowed to come? But if he can't be bothered getting a jab, is he going to go and pay the money or get a test?

But the problem is with those is you've got to get them a couple of days out. So there's not, you don't know. He could get it in the day after he gets a test. Yeah. Or he could get it two days before and he doesn't test positive on day three, which has happened also, but tests positive. It's going to be divided. It's definitely going to be dividing families.

It's far easier to say no vax, no visit. Also, I mean, even if he does get a negative COVID test and come, that conversation is going to come up at Christmas and there's going to be arguments. So it's better just to like. Maybe not initially, but after like three Christmas sherries. Yeah. Absolutely.

All right. Well, we want to know what you think. Am I a bad person? 0800 DALS at M. You can text as well, 9696. Are they a bad person for saying their brother can't come to family Christmas that they're hosting if he's not going to be bothered getting a jab for the family? Am I a bad person?

Well, quarter to eight, ZM's $50,000 secret sound, all thanks to Neon, is coming up $10,000, the current jackpot. Am I a bad person? Some correspondence in, and a family is at war over Christmas plans. Yes, World War III at the moment, my partner and I have offered to host family Christmas. All we ask of our 10 guests is they be fully vaccinated. My parents and my sister's family's all vaccinated.

My brother isn't, has no intention to do so. Some of the family think I'm being too harsh by saying he can't come. I've got a one-year-old to protect that can't be vaccinated. Okay. Jay, what do you think? Bad person or not? Not at all. I mean, I've got kids myself.

You're thinking about your own health and safety. He could be carrying it for all he knows, and he could turn up to the X-mas party and give it to everyone else there. I mean, he should know from not getting the vaccine that he's not going to be able to do as much as others can that do have it. You're not going to be able to go fly overseas or whatever. You can't even get to the point where you can't even get access to restaurants and whatnot.

Yeah, well, just looking at Australia, it's the freedom, it's people saying it's my freedom to not get the vaccine, but then it's also businesses' freedom to say that you can't, you know, have the service. It's a bit of a difficult one, that's for sure. Yeah, so, I mean, if you

weren't vaccinated, you'd just got to expect not to, you were saying you've just got to expect maybe you're not getting invited to Christmas. Yeah, so, I mean, if you weren't vaccinated, you've just got to expect not to, you were saying you've just got to expect maybe you're not getting invited to Christmas. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, if your whole family is vaccinated and you're not, and everyone's thinking about health and safety and you've got wee ones like I do myself, I wouldn't want someone that could possibly have it turning up and making people sick. Yeah, nice.

All right. Jay, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Far more divided than I thought so. Okay. Than I thought it was going to be. Is this person going to insist on the brother's family proving he's had the flu jab, measles, mumps and rubella too? If I was the brother, I'd find somewhere else to be at Christmas.

I mean, I know all of my family's had measles, mumps and rubella. And my kid's got those vaccines as well. I've got a friend who's a nurse who has a young baby, like fresh, and has said a list of the vaccines you must have. So he's one person that is checking for measles, mumps, rubella, for whooping cough, for the whole shebang. So maybe you should. Someone said, would you make all your vegan friends eat meat?

Or would you make your family member who's allergic to eggs eat eggs if they came to your house for Christmas? But that's a completely different scenario. Vegans aren't going to... Remember when we made Caitlin into a meat burger? That was funny. She was quite drunk. Yeah, she didn't take much convincing. Don't act like we made her.

Yeah, that wasn't much convincing. It was her own accord, to be honest. But then that's also a completely quite drunk. Yeah, she didn't take much convincing. Don't act like we made her. Yeah, that wasn't much convincing. It was her own accord, to be honest. But then that's also a completely different argument. Yeah. Because that's like a vegan coming and bringing their own salad isn't going to potentially infect a one-year-old with a disease that's killed over a million people around the world.

Well over a million people. Yeah, well, divisive family Christmases. On the cards. Am I a bad person? Well, this has really got people fired up. Am I a bad person today? So this is a family Christmas disagreement, which is already happening now.

I mean, I guess it's not far away from Christmas, is it? Nah. My Christmas clock, let me have a look. Why have you gone back To using Safari? I've just decided to I thought Safari Was going away Because

Nah because My Chrome's been all Like slow And crapping out All the time 80 days 80 days 80 days till Christmas

World War 3 At their family at the moment They're hosting They've got a one year old They've said all 10 guests Need to be vaccinated Parents and sister Fully vaccinated Brother isn't No intention to do so I told him Well he can't come They're hosting. They've got a one-year-old. They've said all 10 guests need to be vaccinated. Parents and sister fully vaccinated.

Brother isn't. No intention to do so. I told him, well, he can't come. The family think I'm a little bit mean. Am I a bad person? If he can't be bothered, get in the jab. Steph, what do you think? No, I don't think they're a bad person at all. So we had both of our children were born in the middle of winter

and kind of like Megan, your friend who's a nurse, we said that anyone who wants to come and visit the baby in the first six weeks needed to have a flu vaccine and a whooping cough top-up. And my side of the family did that, and my husband's side of the family did not, and they didn't get to see either of their grandchildren or their nieces and nephews for six weeks.

Wow. Well, they wouldn't get a whooping cough to top it. No, they wouldn't get the whooping cough or the flu vaccine. Oh, wow. Why wouldn't they? Are they usually anti-vax? They just sort of said that it wasn't, they didn't want to get the flu vax

because every year they get the flu vax, they get the flu. So, you know. Okay. Yeah. Right. So, but you had that, and is it going they get the flu. So, you know. Okay. Yeah. Right. So, but you had that, and is it going to be the same for Christmas for you? We usually run away for Christmas.

So, it's probably not a big deal for Christmas. But if we were having it at our place, definitely. I mean, at the end of the day, we've got kids who can't get vaccinated and it's up to us to protect them. Yeah. Totally. Okay. Brilliant, Steph to protect them. Yeah. Totally. Okay, brilliant, Steph.

Thank you. Some messages in. She is a bad person. His choice needs to be respected and the rest of the vaccinated family are more likely to bring COVID in because they can still carry it and are likely to not know they're carrying it

and more likely to mingle in public because they're vaccinated. Now, can we move on now? This is a very public, a very popular text coming through. Now, you can get COVID if you're vaccinated. Now, can we move on? This is a very public, a very popular text coming through. Now, you can get COVID if you're vaccinated, but the chances of you getting it drastically reduced. Yeah.

And the chances of you going into hospital and dying are drastically reduced. You're also, you could be asymptomatic. So the way that it spreads through sneezing or coughing. You're not going to be. So that's reduced as well. But there's also a chance of if the virus gets into you, your body's like, I've fought this dude before and eliminates it before it has a chance to multiply throughout your body

because that's how viruses work. Right? Yes. I believe so. Am I listening to that guy that's on the news all the time right? I believe so, yeah. What's his name, Michael? Yeah.

That poor bastard needs a break. Doesn't he? He does. He's's on the news all the time, right? I believe so, yeah. What's his name, Michael? Yeah. That poor bastard needs a break. Doesn't he? He does. He's always on the news. Yeah. So you're just doing your part to reduce the risk of infection. It's not perfect, but it's the best, absolute best we've got. Yeah.

It's like seatbelts. You know, if you don't wear a seatbelt, not every driver is going to be deadly. But if you're in a crash, you're drastically reducing your chance of injury. It's actually very much like a seatbelt. Yeah. So what would you say the bad person results are? Well, she's not a bad person. That is definitely the majority.

Because people are saying she's got a child to protect is definitely the majority because people are saying she's got a child to protect that's completely her prerogative her house her rules yeah so the brother's not getting

invited to Christmas by the looks of it no not if he can't get a vaccine for the family and there's we've heard from so many people

dealing with this this is not going to be a one off at people's Christmases this year somebody said their brother's not getting the jab on religious grounds, but he hasn't been to church since primary school.

So this is the other thing. When did he become religious? Yeah, right. Someone said you guys are full of it. All we hear now is COVID vaccine. You've been told to constantly talk about it. We have not been told by anybody to constantly talk about it. Do you know, famously, this show, as soon as we get told to do something,

we won't do it. So if you know anything about us at all, that's completely untrue. So we will not do what we're told. We just kind of want to do things again. And this is the best chance of it happening. Totally, totally. And I know harping on only makes people dig their heels in more. But what the hell else are we going to do?

Even if you're anti-vaxxed or hesitant, I don't want to see you die. I don't want to see hospitals clogged up with people. Yeah. I don't want to hang out with you. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to go to these massive festivals. I don't want to hang out with anybody. But I also don't want to see people unnecessarily die

because I'd imagine there'll be people that will miss you. Yeah. And I don't want to see unnecessary grief. You shouldn't want to pass it on to babies. Come on. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound.

Season 10. It's season 10 of ZM's $50,000 secret sound, and it is all thanks to Neon. Get a Kiwi streaming service. Get great value. Get it on Neon. Loads of great shows. And soundkeeper Owls is standing by.

She is the one that knows the sound. Good morning, Owls. Morning, morning. She's not the only one that knows the sound. Walter, he knows the sound. Apparently so. He's messaged only one million, the sound. Good morning, Owls. Morning, morning. She's not the only one that knows the sound. Walter, he knows the sound. Apparently so. He's messaged only one million, and then we got through, but it was too late for his guest last hour.

He's a million percent sure. He hasn't got through now. Rachel has. Good morning, Rachel. Hi. All right, so this is Season 10's secret sound. For $10,000, it's the current jackpot. What do you think that is?

Jacinda Ardern, like, opening her book before the announcement. Yes! Who did that? Oh, my God, the guy on TikTok. Oh, my God. He does this amazing... Impersonation of Jacinda every time she gets up to the lectern. Does the fingers through her hair?

The hand sanitizer. Yes, yes. Thorough sanitizing. I hope she's moisturizing. You should have seen that. Has she seen that? I don't know. Please send it to her.

How do I find it? Send it on TikTok. Is TikTok down? I don't think... I think she's... She probably passively... She doesn't have time for TikTok. Well, you can't send it to her on Instagram because Instagram's still down.

All right, Rachel, is it Jacinda putting her papers down? Soundkeeper owls. Yes, well, a very iconic guest to say. Rachel, though, is this iconic sound worth 10K? I'm afraid to say it's not. I'm sorry, that's not the secret sound. That would have been amazing if we'd put a microphone to that. That's actually a great

idea for the secret sound. Or Ashley putting down his cup of water. Glass of water. Adjusting his glasses. Thanks, Alice. Thanks, Rachel. Rachel, for you we do have, and for everybody who gets a guest on air this week, a one-month Neon subscription.

So that's all yours. Some amazing streaming there. Well done. Thank you. 11 o'clock with Georgie. Your next show will give you chances throughout the day as well at 1 o'clock, 4 o'clock, and 5 o'clock. We've been in lockdown for seven?

Well, Auckland has, yeah. What Auckland has here? Rest of the country? I mean, us three. They're on their way to work now. So we were fine for a little bit, but I feel like I might be ready for husband number three. Yes. Wow, okay.

Oh, my God. All right, let's delve into this next. ZM. ZM's Fletchborn and Megan. Is it week eight of, like, some form of lockdown? For Auckland, yes. It's, I believe, how many days did we work out? Shabba-da-shabba-da, 50 million.

Yep. All of them. And you've got some tension in your house. So, you know what? Oh, that's a so. How about the so? How about the so? The so told the whole story.

Isolate the so. Isolate the so. Isolate the so. Put it on repeat. No, so, I mean, like, we've been fine the whole time. We're, like, just getting on with things. We've got a baby to look after. You've got your home gym in the garage. Yeah.

I get to come to work, which is some form of normality and routine. Escapism. Yeah. So up until this point, we've been pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. Everyone can appreciate that cooking all the time is just such a drain. Yeah.

Well, you can still go out now and get takeaways. But I know you guys aren't big takeaway. We're not. We're not. So, yeah, I mean, having to do dishes like three times a day sucks. But yesterday I made a lovely lunch for my husband and got out a knife and fork and he paused and looked at it. And I thought it was going to be some kind of comment about the food. And I was like, here we go.

The food was not the problem. He put his hand down on the knife and fork and said, I know this may sound petty, but can I have the other knife and fork? They're my favourite. He's got a favourite knife and fork? No offence, why didn't he just get up and get them himself? And, like, you get up, you take your knife and fork, and then you get, like, a sauce you're not really going to use, and you change knives and forks, so not the tea.

I feel like he was also putting it out there so that from henceforward... From henceforward. ...he shall only be using the other knife and fork. We have two sets in one drawer. Like, two different sets. They're not wildly different. There's no pattern or anything. We've got two wildly different sets. They're not wildly different. There's no pattern or anything. We've got two wildly

different sets in one drawer. No, you must have the same all matching cutlery. I mean, it's just plain silver cutlery, but one is thicker than the other. Is he like the thicker one? Yeah. Is it more of a heavier knife and fork? I don't know. When you go to a posh restaurant and they have

heavy cutlery because it's expensive. I was just like, I had to do the, okay, breathe. Don't say something you regret. You were about to flip out. I was, but I've done the opposite. So I got out his knife and fork and put it there. And then every meal forward, I've made a real thing about getting out. The heavy, the big knife and fork.

The heavy knife and fork and putting them firmly down on the table. I was going to say, did you slam them down like in a real passag way? Oh my God. It's just like the littlest thing, but really? Okay. I had to put back your knife and fork and get you a different set. I only got my own knife and fork. I am a man who's lived longer.

You know. I've avoided more. Yeah. You get your own knife and fork. So now it's like a, I mean, I knew that he would see me like this because like I've gone to make him a coffee before and hand in the cupboard, he'll stop me and be like, actually, can I have it in the other cup?

But all the cups are not the same. All the cups are not the same. And if someone's making you a coffee, just go with it, right? Like, I'm getting a coffee. I said yesterday to Sade, do you want a coffee? And she was in the kitchen, I was in the lounge. And she said, oh, no. And then I heard the jug get flicked on. I said, I didn't think you wanted

a coffee, and she said, no, I'm making you one. And I was like, you're a good woman, Jenny. We've traded places. I know. But I will also, if I'm making a coffee and there's only the two clean cups left and one's got a chip in it, I'll take the chipped cup and then make

quite the ordeal about how I've taken the chipped cup and then make quite the ordeal about how I've taken the chipped cup. You've taken one for the team. I'll be like, oh, ah, I've scratched my lip on the chipped cup. I guess it's the equivalent, the modern equivalent of taking a bullet for you. And she'll be like, just drink from the other side of the cup. I'll be like, no, because then I have to hold the coffee

with the left hand or non-handle. This is a right-handed cup and the chip is on the right-handed drinker's side. And she'll be like, just adapt. I'll be like, adapt? In this habit of a lifetime, you expect me to adapt? Months, moons shy of my 40th birthday? Adaptation is what you require of me? No, I shall be praised as a hero

for scratching my lip! Oh my god. Hang in there, guys. Oh god. I'm hanging in there. Can't wait to pull that knife and fork shit later though. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan.

13% of Australians have been broken up with because of financial troubles. Because they're what bad with money? Oh yeah, different sorts of, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's different ones, no savings, unpaid debt or poor financial knowledge. So 13% were broken up with because of it. 6% of 100%, so half of it was 13%. You know what I mean. Half of 12%?

No, no, no. 13%. This roadmap's confusing. 13%. No, no, no, you're not following. Picnics. Picnics. 13% of 6% of people want to play lawn bowls.

So we've made that one of our flagpoles to the road of freedom. Okay, good, good. Okay, so then 4% of the 6% of the initial 13% would like to go hunting. So that's back on the table. Now, what does that mean for two bubbles who want to picnic together? Strap in because there's a few percentages here. Let's get back to the Australians that have been broken up with because they're bad with money.

So 13%. Yeah. Half of them. Okay. Were dumped due to having low income or lack of savings. Now this is also the person who's been broken up with is given the explanation of why they've been broken up with. Sometimes they might have just thought that was the reason, but they might have left a

wet towel on the floor. Okay, right. They're like, she dumped me because I don't earn enough money. And then you ask her, no, I dumped you because despite being asked, you would not scrub your skid marks out of the toilet every single time. Yeah, right. When you're breaking up with someone and they're upset. You get them to fill out one of those exit surveys.

No, it's much easier to say something like financial because it's not as personal as being like, I actually hate who you are as a person. No, I reckon that's way more personal. Because it's out of your control. I'd hate if someone broke up with you. It's because you don't earn enough. I'd be like, ouch.

Jesus. But good to know because obviously money is the most important thing to you. I hate everything about you as a person. That's great. I'll find someone that doesn't. There's someone out there for everybody. Yeah. I'd much rather be told we are personally I'd for a minute be like how? I'm perfect. You need to be told that you're not.

That I'm not perfect. Yeah. You can say it as many times as you want. I simply won't listen. But for someone to be like, I'm breaking up with someone that is out of your control. Like, your job, your employer doesn't value it anymore. I would consider your personality is more out of your control. You can get a different job, right?

You don't want to be able to change instinctively who you are as a person. That's out of your control. So someone being like, I don't like who you are as a person is weird. But that just means you're personally incompatible, right? Because I was just thinking that would be an easy thing to say. You're bad with money. You're actually a dick. But it's because you're bad with money.

It sounds like they need a sugar daddy. I mean, we all need a sugar daddy. Yeah. Wouldn't say no. I'm in the market. Did you hear? I'm looking for a new husband. Yeah, because of the cutlery thing.

The only thing the sugar daddy needs to do is not have a particularly favourite cup or knife or fork. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day Is about paper Okay Why do you have that stupid smirk on your face? It is about paper. Okay.

Why do you have that stupid smirk on your face? It's about paper. Okay. I'm actually just trying to find out the other. I feel like we kind of know everything there is to know about paper. You don't know shit about paper. Okay. You don't know anything about paper. Take it back.

Docs, it's made from trees. All I do. You've done your own research, have you? You're right. I've only delved into the tip and I've just assumed I know everything. You assume you know everything about paper. Tell us on a scale of one to eight how much you do know about paper. I actually...

And then explain to me the manufacturing process of paper. Okay, I know one. There's one little. I know that you can write on it and it comes in different stocks. I would put you at the absolute arse end of paper knowledge. It's the arse end.

You've done and Kruger there. Good. I know my done and Kruger. So today's fact of the day is the four in A4, do you know what it stands for? Four sides. No, because A2 has four sides as well.

Oh, yeah, it does. Yeah, bloody pickle. Yeah, pickle. Oh, I love that. This is why I panic on the chase. I'd be that person that gets... Fletch, wrong. I'd have four going into the final round

and the chaser would drop a couple on purpose to make me feel good and then say, you really do need some pushbacks. They've got to make it hit six o'clock. That's what you can tell on the chase. If Bradley's asking them a lot about themselves through the show... Oh, I know.

Sometimes too much. That's because it's going to be a short run at the end. They've got to pad it out. That's in every show, but they just edit it out when it's an exciting long chase at the end. Except when they're like, David wants to take his wife to New Zealand. I'm like, oh, David. Good luck, David. Good luck getting a spot on MIQ, David.

Better have had both jabs, David. So the four in A4. Yeah. Oh, I'm on the edge of my bloody seat. Stands for how many times A0 was cut in half to make it. Oh, I know that. Oh, fuck. Isn't that?

You're on the edge of your seat. No, there's little graphs at school, like little pictures at school. It's like how many times it folds into it, right? Yeah, but it's how many times it was cut from an A0 to make. So one cut, two cut, three cut, four cut. Oh, right. So how many times it was cut from a big sheet of paper? A0. Yep. Okay. Yeah.

The number beside the A stands for how many times it was cut in half. Huh. Is that like a movie poster size A0? We all know that. Yeah, A0 would be like a big movie poster. A big movie poster. Well, that's neat. Oh my god, I didn't know that.

Oh my God, I didn't know. That's so awesome. I don't think everybody knew that. I didn't know that. I mean, it kind of makes sense. It's like an A0 and then half of that's an A1, but it's actually distinctly how many times it needs to be cut. Yeah.

Okay, cool. To make an A4. I still can't find out what the A stands for though. And do you know they don't have that in America? Yeah, they do legal. Yeah. It's metric and Americans are still

doing imperial size. That's why they call it like legal size. Stupid Americans. It's very close. Oh. What? What does A in A4 paper

stand for? Automatic force speed. That's not right. Is it? Do this on your own time. Did you do research or did you just? Oh no, it's all different. I thought you said you'd done your own research. Did you do research or did you just? Oh, no, it's all different.

I thought you said you'd done your own research. This is from Free Dictionary. I thought you said you'd done your own research. Have you just got your research from TikTok? Pardon me? What's the government saying about it? They want you to believe in these alternative size papers because it all fits into their big plan to control us, man.

Right. I'm just going to cut an A4 roll wiggly and chuck it in a printer and if it doesn't work, it's bloody Jacinda's fault. All right, man? I'm sick of the government trying to keep me down with my paper feeds. Jammed again, are you, printer? It's big printer watching over us, tracking us. This is how crazy people sound, by the way.

If you're listening going, oh, he's talking some shit, this is what people, this is what you sound like to other people. Okay? This is what you sound like to us when you're talking about MedSafe's report that the vaccines killed more people than Delta, when actually if you read the report, it doesn't say that at all. Read the report. I read the report. It doesn't say that at all. Read the report. I read the report.

It doesn't say that at all. You know why? It's probably because they – The death rate post-vaccine and the two weeks post-vaccine is lower than the natural death rate. It says it in the paper you just sent me. You know, but it's probably because they printed out the MedSafe report on your size paper.

And it cut off the bottom. If you can't tell, we've had a lot of messages. That'll be it. I feel like I'm at the end of the wharf. You're all right, mate. Should I get you a coffee? You're all right. Today's fact of the day.

Is that the four in A4 paper stands for how many times an A0 was cut in half to make it? Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. First of all, none of this would have happened if Facebook hadn't been down this morning. It's still down. Still down. Four hours. Over four hours.

This is approaching like a record amount of time. Yeah, so this is like the butterfly effect sliding doors kind of thing. Yes. Because it was weird. You messaged me a picture of you in your car and it was all lit up blue and then another picture and it was all lit up red. Yeah, because I thought the blue might not have sold the story that I'd been pulled over by the police.

So switching back and forth between pictures. Yeah. It was actually one of those live photos that I did not know my phone was doing. So if you hold it down, look, if you hold it down, it goes, it goes,

oh, come on now. Yeah, that's nice. No siren though, just the lights at that time of night. You should be careful with those live pictures. I know. Sometimes there's sound in them too.

Yeah. So this morning, alarm goes off, wake up, went to do my usual Facebook and Instagram check. Yep. Didn't work. So I was like, well, I guess I'll get out of bed then. And I got out of bed and then I was like ready for work early. So I was like, I'm going to take this way to work

because down there there's people who have horses that bag up the horse poo for the compost for the garden. However, on the way home, it's always too late because people, the gardeners, they get up early because the early gardener harvests the worms or something like that. And the horse poo is gone. So it's like, well, I've got extra time. I'm going to go down that road. I'm going to stop. I'm going to get the horse poo.

I'm going to pay for it. Even though it's in the cover of darkness, I'm going to totally have stolen it. Is it an honesty box? Yeah. How much is horse poo? For a big sack, $2. Huh. Well, that's not enough.

Surely it should be at least $5 or $10. Well, no, I guess they've got to get rid of it. Otherwise, they've just got a stack of poo they can't get rid of. And they end the supply of it every day. Yeah. So it just keeps coming for them. Probably adds up over the year, especially how quickly they're snaffled up.

Now, down this road, the area where you can go 80 kilometres an hour, where it turns to 60, the 60s moved 500 metres closer to my house sometime lately. This is like 5-something AM. It's creaking. It's creeping. It was even before 5. Was it? So I went down, and I saw that there was horse poo,

so I turned around to come back for it. And then I met the other way. The cop is coming with his lights going. Oh, okay. And I'm like, oh, I wonder if that's for me. And then he pulls a Yui and I'm like, oh, it's for me. So I pull over. He's like, I clocked you going 80 kilometres down there.

I was like, yeah, in the 80K zone. He's like, no, that's a 60K zone. I was like, how long has that been a 60K zone for? That sounded like a lie. Now, if Facebook had never gone down, I wouldn't have got out of bed with enough time to go and fetch the horse poo and I wouldn't have got a ticket. So I'll be billing Facebook for this in two minutes.

I mean, there's a simpler answer. If you hadn't gone 80 in the 60, you wouldn't have got a ticket. So I'll be billing Facebook for this. Maybe booking... I mean, there's a simpler answer. If you hadn't gone 80 in the 60, you wouldn't have got a ticket. But then, so you get the ticket and then, hey, you still arrive at work earlier than what you normally do. Yeah, well, I had the speed to get here after you gave me the ticket. I had absolutely flora. How much time

do you spend every morning on Facebook and Instagram? No, so usually I'll snooze once too, but I didn't snooze once this morning. So I had nine minutes of your snooze. This is why you never put the suspect on the stand. They dig themselves a hole. I'm digging. I'm digging a hole.

I'm filling it with water. I'm making myself a pool. So you didn't try to get out of it with the ossifer? No, because this was weird too. I haven't had one since we've been doing like the distancing thing. I had to hold my license as close to him as I could and then he had his scanning thing and he scanned barcode on the back. He's like, I've got your address as blah, blah, blah.

This is your phone number. This is your name. I'm like, yep. All of the above, your officer. Your officer. That's not right. Your highness. Your highness.

Your honor. They love it when you call them your highness. Your highness. Your royal. Your Highness. They love it when you call them Your Highness. Your Highness. Your Royal Highness of the Highway. And he said, but before that, he said to me, where are you going? Yeah, especially because you're pulling you. Yeah, because I'd pulled a U-turn, so I obviously looked like I was casing the joy. Yeah.

And he said, where are you going? I said, oh, I'm off to work. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah. And he gave me the upper hand. He's said, where are you going? I said, oh, I'm off to work. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah. And he gave me the upper hand. He's like, builder? That forearm looks like a hammer swinging forearm. No, that forey looks like it hasn't. Builders have always got a thick forey.

And he didn't check your hands, eh? Oh, yeah. Sometimes my hands, I've got dry hands and everything like that, but I don't have the calluses that a builder has. No, you don't have any scratches. And I've always got a wide finger too, don't I? I wouldn't trust a builder with a skinny finger. Yeah, because they've accidentally hammered it many times.

Yeah, or they're holding something hard all the time. But yeah, he was a builder. I was like, oh, no. I think so. Radio announcer. And he was like, oh, okay. And then I realised he was asking because you put your occupation on the ticket. Yeah. I'm not just making a flirtatious assumption

that I was handy with a hammer. Yeah, right. So, not a fan of our radio station. Why didn't you just say no, but keep guessing? And then I said to him, can you also give me a hand to chuck that horse shit in my boot? But I thought you said you're going to work.

Yeah, I'm going to work. Why are you going to keep horse shit in your boot for hours? Because the gardeners get into it before me. Do I have to explain everything to you, dum-dum? So is there poo in your boot, Dunstee? No, I didn't have time to get it because he dilly-dallyed giving me the ticket. And then I had this voice in the back of my head going, where have you been?

Yep, that's what I say. Oh, you didn't even get your poo. I didn't voice in the back of my head going, wow, what take you so long? Where have you been? Yep, that's what I say. Oh, you didn't even get your poo. I didn't even get the poo. And there was like five bags of it. I had $10. That's perfect. Yeah, right. Hopefully it's there on the way home,

but I don't want to go that way because I have to stick to 60 kilometres an hour for 500 metres longer now. Bloody madness. And you might be thinking, what could they possibly be hoping to get out of the end of this conversation? Well, dear listener, we want to know when someone has made an assumption about you

based on your looks. Because you're not a builder. Is it my shirt? Is it my beanie? Is it the fact that I was awake early in the morning? Yeah, but the bloody missus will have given this a purse or what? Yeah, probably. Yeah, but no, that's too nice to be a builder's shirt.

It's almost formal. When you've got the t-shirt underneath. It's like if a builder was going out for dinner. Yeah, that's a builder going out. I'm happy with that. Builders have got to eat. Yeah. Yeah, so he thought I might have been a builder,

but I was wondering if anyone ever makes an assumption based on your looks. Yeah. Maybe in a job that you do, you don't look like. I bet I would go out on a branch and say, this would happen to, I would go out on a stick. I would climb out onto the wobbly part of the tree. You know the bit that goes out sideways? Yep, yep.

Not the main bit that goes up. The tree bit that goes out? Yep. A branch. Yep. You'd go out on a branch. I'd go out on a branch and I would say this would happen to females and like female mechanics for example. Someone comes in and they're like

where's the boss or whatever and they'd be like I am the boss. When I was a technical producer they thought I was the receptionist but I was actually there to record and make their radio commercial. That would happen all the time. Yeah. All right, well, give us a call. I'll wait 100 dials at him.

You can text as well, 9696. Somebody just messaged in saying, I think we get our horse poo from the same place. That's the only moment. Bet they're going now because I've just told them there's five bags. Fuck. Snake had so many text messages. And as predicted, it's females dealing with this in the majority.

Yeah, so you were pulled over by the police this morning for speeding. Yeah. Well, I should have pulled him over for moving the sign. All right. It's creeping Yeah Not gonna be able to leave my bloody house Without bloody going 60km an hour soon He assumed wrongly

You were a builder When he was asking your occupation Yeah We want to know this morning from you What people always assume about you Just by your looks Dan, what do people assume? Hey, so I get asked if I'm the

business owner just filling in for the day. Oh, right. Okay. Business owner just go on. So what do you do? So I used to be a business class flight attendant and COVID sort of

put that one to an end. So I guess my grooming standards are fairly high and all my shopping expeditions and you end. So I guess my grooming standards are fairly high in all my shopping expeditions. And you're wearing, I guess, pretty exclusive hair in New Zealand. And I have it so hard. So I try to dress as well as I can and look as good as I can.

And when I turn up in a truck, people aren't expecting me. So you're like an immaculately groomed truck driver. Yeah, and I'm not very good at driving trucks either. This is what I want for my truck drivers, to look a million bucks, but back into things. Wow, and they're like, are you just filling in for someone who's sick or something?

Right. Wow. Yeah, and because I'm chatty, I can get away with all types of sins doing damage to their property. Dan, do you like truck stops? Is that your kind of cup of tea for a

smoker break? Oh, you know what? It's so hard to park these things and I'm scared I'm going to make an idiot of myself in front of other truck drivers, so I just hold on to my bladder for dear life and sip on water and I keep a takeout cup in the truck

in case I need to urinate in my wild bean campaign coffee cup. Dan, I must ask, you've got a licence, don't you? You know, you pay anyone the right price and smile for long enough. OK, Dan, we're absolutely going to worry for ourselves driving home today. I feel like that's how I'd be if I was a truck driver. I know, it's like Dan's me as a truck driver. Oh, scary. I'm not stopping here.

I'm never going to be able to reverse out of here. Dan, thanks for your calls and messages in. From other truck drivers, I'm a female truck driver, and sometimes I've been on the ferry, and they'll tell me I'm not allowed in the driver's lounge. What? I'll be like, I am a driver driver and they'll be like, ah. Oh,

that would give me such great pleasure though. I know, yeah. Of course you are. There is some, like, I shouldn't be laughing,

but people who are messaging in are also sharing humorous stories of what they get confused for or people make assumptions based on what they look like. Yeah. And I tell you, we could have totally

just done the topic as a female. Yeah. What do people assume you are not capable of doing? But this doesn't come with a gender. But they said when you're 5'4 and petite, don't go to the races because everybody assumes you're a joker who's just hanging out passing time before you jump on a horse. That's terrible.

Get out, mate. What race are you in? Got any hot tips for good horses today? I'm a vet. I'm 25. I look young, so clients think I'm the vet nurse or someone who's just hanging out with a vet for a day, tailing a vet to see if it's a career they want to get into.

I own a subway. I was in the subway, and someone came in and gave me a bit of a dirty look and then said to this sandwich artist, I bet you get a lot of this, people just loitering in your store. That was their store. Wow. My friend's a petroleum engineer and whenever she goes to conferences, it's assumed that she's a PA or a secretary.

Her favourite trick is always to let some male speak down to her and humour her before she'll come back with some highly technical question, watch their face drop, and then they'll introduce themselves. That's the good stuff. Yeah. I work at a – my neighbour asked me where I work. I said, oh, at the dentist's in town. And they started talking to me about how they were a receptionist once too.

And I had to stop them and be like, no, no, no, no, I'm a dentist. I just work at the dentist. It's like that. Yeah. My partner lives in his beanie, band t-shirt, and most of the time has facial hair. Whenever we go to a beach party, hang out with mates, a concert, someone will pop up out of nowhere and be like, bro, do you

smoke? Not cigarettes either. I'm a 19-year-old female tradie. I'm a builder. And a lot of the time when guys come onto the site, contractors, for example, they'll be like, it's nice yelping at your dad on school holidays.

None of these people are my father, but it's become more of a rag on how much older than me all the guys I work with look. We just get so much pleasure out of correcting people. Oh, it'd be great. I'm six foot four, heavily tattooed, arms, chest and back. People assumed I was a drug dealer because I was always home during the day

and I drove an American muscle car and then I'd leave at crazy times in the morning. What they didn't know was I was a baker and I started work at 12 a.m. So that was why I was always driving around but home during the day. That's so nice. Making croissants. Yeah. Oh, I love a croissant.

Croissant. Croissant. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.