ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 6th May 2020

Episode Date: May 5, 2020

Community Notices  Uber Eats Complaint  Jacinda Claps Back  A Big Surprise for MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, three minutes past six. She's a chilly one this morning. Yeah, I think this is my last morning wearing shorts to work. You're still wearing shorts? Yes, I like stepped outside today and I was like, whew, brisk. Felt the chill on the back of the knee.

Yep. And you're like, that's it. I'm like, that's it. It's going to pants time. What will you wear? Your grey track pants? Your grey sweatpants? I'll probably wear my track pants while there's no one in the office.

Yeah, hot place. Oh, let's be honest. I'll still wear track pants even when people are in the office. So, obviously, I mean, you know, cold in Auckland, but it's colder in the South Island. I've just looked at the Met Service temperatures. The coldest place right now, Blenheim. Blenheim.

How cold do you think it is in Blenheim? Coldest place in New Zealand is Blenheim. In New Zealand right now. That's unusual, isn't it? Zero. Like, it's five in Queenstown, for example. Zero. Eleven in Dunedin.

Eleven in Dunedin. It's four in Christchurch. Okay. She's nipped. Blenheim's the coldest though. How cold? Zero. Minus 1.3.

Minus one. Yeah. That's whale cold for me. Yeah. That's well cold for me. Anything like 10, anything under 10 is well cold for me. Yeah. You've got warm blood. You're a tropical man. I'm a tropical fish.

Yeah. Your tank needs to have fresh water, oxygen weed, and one of those things that keeps the temp up. And a shipwreck, a plastic shipwreck. That goes... And I don't like to be alone, but the other fish has to be less pretty than me. That's the rule.

Oh, really? Are you a fighting fish? Yeah. That's why I'm in this fishbowl with you two. Then I'd keep you in adjacent tanks. Are we all in a fishbowl? You have to be kept in adjacent tanks. Otherwise we'd maul each other.

I thought about getting a fish tank, but it would be a lot of admin, eh? You have to clean it all the time. Yeah, yeah. And I can't keep plants alive, let alone fish. And I'm okay with cleaning up after a dog because it gives back more than a fish does. Yeah, fish are rubbish pets. Yeah. Yeah.

There's no... You can't cuddle it. Nah. But there might be joy in just watching. Yeah. There's no... You can't cuddle it. Nah. But there might be joy in just watching. Nah. Like calming. It's quite calming. Yeah, just put on a YouTube video of a fish tank

if all you get out of it is viewing because then you're getting it without having to maintain it or run the fish tank. Buy new ones when they pass away. Turtles? They really smell. Oh, yeah, no, I wouldn't be into that. Yeah, no.

The turtles have really got a... What about a guinea pig? A stank. No. They like cuddles. No. You'd lose it. Yeah.

What about a bunny? No. No. They're not apartment pets. They frighten too easy. They can be scared to death. Anyway. Yeah.

Good run through of hits Yeah good run through You've got a few community notices Things that have been popping up On local Facebook pages Yep Facebook pages are thriving In the current climate

We'll dip our toe In what's happening Around New Zealand soon Also the top six Before seven this morning Level two Hairdress Might see hairdressers

I'm going to find out tomorrow Yep And the top six ways Hairdressers can keep themselves safe in a level two situation. Alright, it's coming up. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Lots of speculation

about level two. Not even confirmed we're going to level two. Well, not yet. No. No, there's going to be an announcement of what level two is going to look like and then there'll be an announcement on Monday or Tuesday if we's going to be an announcement of what Level 2 is going to look like, and then there'll be an announcement on Monday or Tuesday if we're going to go to Level 2 next week. Well, two days in a row of zero cases.

Yeah. Promising. Promising. I was so excited when they said zero. I was like, Philip, we've all achieved like an A+. But then, like, I saw a tweet yesterday that was along the lines of, remember when we had the America's Cup in the bag? Yeah, I saw that one too.

I was like, oh, wow. That really spoke to me. We could all relate to that. Because weren't we like 5-0? 4-0? No, we were 8-0. We just won eight races in a row. We needed one more and then Jimmy Bloody Spittle.

Yes. And we got smoked. Is it Oracle? Yeah, I think it wasittle. Yes. And we got smoke. Is it Oracle? Was it Oracle? Yeah, I think it was Oracle. And they won 9-0. I think the whole coach. No, they had 9-8.

9-8. And they had nine wins in a row. Unbelievable. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that was crazy. So let's remember that. So we won eight in a row and just calm your farm. Yep.

Yeah, that really spoke to the old middle class white guy in all of us, didn't it? Yeah. Didn't it? It would have been the first time some rich whiteys in Remuera would have taken this seriously. Yeah. They'd have been like, oh, Jesus, they've put it into terms I understand now. But what level two might look like? Lots of questions. Yeah, lots of speculation.

Lots of questions. But e-scooters. Because they've been off the road. I know. I do know. I saw one yesterday in the wild and it was like obviously hadn't been collected. It was dead. Weird. They'd just forgotten about it. Yeah, it was just there. And I just took a moment and I was like, take it. I remember

you. No, because they don't work. Take it. We've got time. We'll modify it. Take it. Take it. Let's take out the We'll modify it. Take it. Take it. Let's take out the bit that tracks it. Someone told me once that their friend hacked an e-scooter. I won't say which brand, which company. And because they're so able to do that, technically, basically made it their scooter.

How to hack a insert brand scooter. Yeah. It's a six minute long video. We're certainly not encouraging you to steal that. I mean, they're very identifiable, even if you were to paint

it. I mean, they're all made for each company, aren't they? Some mag wheels. Yeah, right. Take some bits off. Add a couple of bits. I miss them. I know you miss them. Because I've been walking to work haven't I? Yeah, right. Take some bits off. I miss them. Add a couple of bits. I miss them. Well, I know you miss them. Because I've been walking to work, haven't I? Yeah. Boo.

But then that's good because then, like, later on in the day, if you just want to sit down and do nothing and eat, you can be like, well, I did do my walk exercise today. Yeah, it's still not enough deficit, though, Vaughan, to be honest. Hey, we don't worry about deficits at the moment. At all. Just gains. Yes.

Lots of dirty gains. All right, community notices next. The weird and wonderful things that you see on your local Facebook page and send them in to us. Got a whole lot of those to read out next. Tones and I, ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's community notices.

Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Let's pop down to Onehunga first. On the Onehunga local community news, Lee writes, Kia ora Onehunga. Does anyone have a sage bush that could spare me five or six leaves? I have a pesky ghost that needs to go, but I can't find sage anywhere.

Well, that's, of course. Were you going to get into the sage, white sage business? I was, yes. I've actually, after lockdown, got a place I'm going to go and get some sage plants. Why? Because people pay money for them. The rolls of sage are, like, expensive. Really?

And sage grows easily. I shouldn't be telling everyone my business plan. I came up with this with my mate Johnny's girlfriend. We were talking about people spending money on dumb shit. And like crystals. I know someone that sells crystals. They don't believe a thing about crystals. Really?

But they put the nonsense up and people buy it. They don't care. They're making it their side hustle. Or can I go in on this business? Can you offer my sage business? I don't know.

I'll do the packaging or something. This is the shittest dragon's den ever. I'll do distribution. You don't have a car. You need people out on the streets, mate.

You can't be rolling around selling rolled up packages of not yet anyway but maybe after the general election you'll be able to. But no, I don't mean to be rude, but I just don't think you can add anything to my business.

You're too unorganised to do distribution. You can grow this stuff. You're not a distributor. She's not going to want a part of this. She's got to earn her keep. What's your name? Oh yeah. Sage Smith. Sage advice.

I knew you were going to say sage advice. Sage wisdom. Some sage wisdom. So what people... White sage. Put sage. You burn it. Oh, okay, right.

It's like a big sage cigar. Right. You roll it tight. You've got to dry it. Yep. And then you roll it. Light it. And then you light it and you blow it out.

It smokes and you wave it around And the ghost It smells really nice The ghost goes The ghost is like Right So it's like an effluent Pond to a ghost

Yeah Or like an allergy Right And they leave the house Yes And never come back Spook someone else That makes total sense

Yeah That's what happens Okay So Keep an eye out Sage wisdom Sage advice Makes total sense. Yeah, that's what happens. Okay. So keep an eye out. Sage wisdom. Sage advice.

Can you get a really bad like GeoCities website? Yes, we're sorry. What about sage old advice? Sage old wisdom. Sage advice. I hope you get haunted by really nasty spirits. Well, no, because they all have sage. And if I start seeing ghosts, I'll open the window because obviously there's a carbon dioxide buildup

and it's playing tricks on my brain. Next, I don't know what pages this is from, but somebody who is a mother-to-be sent me this. Okay. Saying these mother-to-be Facebook pages are a wild ride. Of course. Someone posts, Can someone tell me if my waters may have broken?

My midwife's not answering her phone. It's wet enough to have wet my knickers and pants. Question mark, exclamation mark. Someone believes their waters are broken and their midwife's not answering the phone. They're answering the group. You didn't, like, pee. So.

This is the comment. I'm so confused. It's about to confuse you even more. Someone said, put some on a handy towel and smell it. If it smells like a mouse cage, it's your waters that are broken. A mouse cage? What if you've got no comparative aromatic reference? I was not prepared for that.

I was not prepared for that. A mouse cage. Because your pregnancy freaks you out anyway. Yeah. The fact that you end up with a baby but all the steps along the way.

Add this to the list. It smells like a mouse cage. Yuck. I don't ask people about this because I just... It puts you off. Nah. I don't want to about this because I just... It puts you off. Nah, I don't want to know about any of it. Surprise.

It'll all be a surprise along the way. A mouse cage? Why wasn't I told? Arani's got something for sale in Auckland next on the Buy, Sell, Anything Auckland page. A Baker's Delight flag and tablecloth. Okay. $40. And it's even got one of those roll-up, you know,

where you pull it up and it goes, and it unwinds, and then you put a retractable pole in the back. Oh, yep. And it holds it up, and it tells you that you're going past the Baker's Delight. Right. But why do they have that? $40.

Has there been a Baker's Delight rebrand? This maybe looks like old Baker's Delight. Oh, really? This hasn't been stolen from outside of Baker's Delight, has it? I mean, this is not the smartest way to sell stolen goods. $40 for a retractable pole, though. I'm in the market for a retractable pole. I am wondering, though, having seen this, is the delight the Baker's Delight,

or is it plural bakers? Delighted. Delight. No, because that would still be their delight. Because I do not see a possessive apostrophe to indicate that the delight is indeed the baker's. We'll take it up with head office when they reopen. Or I'll go around scrolling possessive apostrophes on every piece of baker's delight branding I can possibly find. The Gisborne Herald has had to issue something.

Gisborne's been on point lately with their public notices. You may remember they issued a council traffic plan for when Mac has reopened last week. Yes, yeah. To avoid it. Well, enough people complained about something in the sky that the Gisborne Herald contacted Air New Zealand, and Air New Zealand confirmed, this is from the Gisborne Herald,

that the aircraft seen flying in an unusual flight pattern over Gisborne was on a maintenance-proving flight in line with normal procedures, to which Kylie says, Oh, yes, what a strange coincidental time to be testing a plane. More like chemtrails to lower our immune system so we all get sick. Oh, Jesus. Why... It's people like that that'll buy your sage, though.

Yes. This is why you're onto a good business. You know what will fix that? Counteract the chemtrails. Sage. Crystals. No, because they put up a 5G tower and that... Oh, negates the crystals. That negates the crystals so you need more sage. So what is it? Sage that negates the 5G. That that... Oh, negates the crystal. That negates the crystal, so you need more sage. So what is it, sage, that negates the 5G?

That is... Yes. Sage advice. Yes, sage advice. But you can actually put tinfoil over the windows of your house and that stops the 5G coming in. Okay, and the sage... So you're actually fine if you do that.

Can you double up with sage? Yes, yes. But have the sage inside. Okay, so the tinfoil that the sage came in would make a wonderful curtain. And you might be thinking, but I didn't get enough tinfoil with my sage.

Sounds to me like you need to buy more sage. Sageadvice.co.nz Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank. This is the Top Six. Hello there. Level two, we're not sure what it's going to look like. We'll probably be informed at some stage soon.

And then everyone can start making plans. Well, yeah, tomorrow I think they're going to outline what it is. Yeah. And then Monday, that's what we've... Yeah. And then who knows? Do you think if we get a couple more days of zero,

they might bring it forward? Well, no, Jacinda said... Jacinda said... This is what Jacinda said. She said we don't need to stay at zero every day to still go to level two.

Like, it doesn't need to be zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero. And then it could be one and we're like, well, level two's cancelled. Yeah. But we have to... She and we're like, well, level two is cancelled. Yeah. But we have to, she said,

we have to know for a long period where every one of those cases is coming from. Yeah, right. Which makes sense. Completely trackable. Yeah.

Otherwise we're all going to get out and it's going to start again. Yes. As it has in other countries. Everything's got to be, yeah, any new case that comes up has got to be guaranteed

and that person has any other contact with anyone else. That's a really good way of putting it. You should tell Simon Bridges that. And Duncan Garner. No, because they'll hear it from a white male and think it's a good idea. Oh, right.

You're right. And then I don't know what happens in the political world when that happens. Yeah. So hairdressers are one thing that people have been aching to get back to work. I don't know what it's like being a hairdresser at this time. I would say enjoy the calm before the storm because shit's about to get very real for you. I mean, that's like what is coming too. If you've got a business, you could open literally probably from 6 a.m. until 10 p.m.

Yeah. You'd be chock-a-block. Yeah. And you might have to do that thing where you've got like three on the go. Yeah. And you're like, all right, Sue, I'm going to leave those foils in. Yeah. Come on to the next little clip, clip, clip.

Beep, beep. And your watch is like, check on Sue. You're like, shit. And Sue's hair's falling out. You're like, ah, no, this is a hot new look, Sue. Sue's bubbling all over the element. Yeah. Do they like a challenge or are they like, oh, God, I just don't know.

Nah, they'll be into it. They'll be into it. Weird trims. They're going to have to fix a lot of mistakes. I would say if a real Karen comes in and she's like, I want it swept over at the front and I want it spiky at the back, and you're like, this would be the perfect opportunity to say you know what

your hair's grown a little bit longer over these five weeks let's try something new. And then without that haircut it'll actually be impossible for them to complain to the manager because that was their secret weapon. So the top six ways

hairdressers can keep themselves safe in level two situations. Because distance, right? Even if we go back to level two, one metre distance between people we don't know is going to be encouraged. But they've been saying that Australia's been doing it, haven't they? Hairdressers have been open? Yeah. Which is really weird because

my sister-in-law worked at a place that was makeup, beauty and hair. The hair was the only place that was allowed, the hair branch was the only one that was allowed to keep going. Right, not the nails. Not the, like, waxing

or anything like that. But the hairdressing was allowed to keep going. Yeah, okay. So the top six ways for hairdressers to keep themselves safe in a level two situation

are number six, those long-handled loppers you use to cut branches. You know those ones where you're like, not like the hedge trimmers, the short ones, the really long loppers. Yeah. And you're like, not like the hedge trimmers, the short ones, the really long loppers.

Yeah. And you're cutting a branch. Good Lord. Sharpen them and just a little wee. You can just put the clump in here in your hand and they can just lop it. No, I was thinking they put a rake up through it. Yeah.

And then wedge the rake and hold the rake with their foot. Yep. And one hand. Oh no, they'll need both hands for the loppers and then lop, lop, lop, lop, lop. Who about my ears? Stay still, I'd say. That's on you if you move. Stay very still.

Number five on the list of the top six ways hairdressers can keep themselves safe in a level two situation. Just telling people step by step what to do from a safe distance. So you'd be like, okay, but this isn't the right hand. No, right hand. The north hand.

And then they pick them up and they're like, ah, a little bit further out, a little bit further out. Yep, now little snips. Little snips. Little snips. And now ask me about my day. Ask yourself about your day. Ask yourself how your kids are.

Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways hairdressers can keep themselves safe in a level two situation, hazmat suits. Okay, yeah. Because then they're not going to get those hairs on their body that anchor and start growing either. Yeah. Hairdresser's nipple.

Yeah. That's so grim. I know. It would freak me out Someone else's hair Growing in me I'd be constantly Yeah You wouldn't want it

To take like Too serious a root Why? No The hair Yeah but why? Because then you pluck it out But it would keep growing

Would it? Yeah and it's Someone else's hair Like it could be ginger Or blonde Yeah Because I mean You worked at Just Cuts

Only for six months, and look at your chest. I know. It's a rainbow. It really is. It's a rainbow not only of colour, but also curl and coarseness. It's a real interesting situation down there. Number three on the list of the top six ways hairdressers

can keep themselves safe in level two situations. Those bomb disposal robots, but with scissors on them. Yes. It's like, zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz, up, zzz, down. But is the hairdresser's remote controlling it? Yes, yes, yes. They're controlling it. You'd want a hairdresser that's good at PlayStation.

Yeah. Well, they might have had some time to practice. Yeah, okay. Over the last few weeks. Number two on the list of the top six ways hairdressers can keep themselves safe in a level two situation. You know those incubators that little babies go into? Or people that can't have exposure to outside air and possible airborne stuff?

And you put your hands in the little holes and they've got like rubber gloves on the inside. That. Okay. You get inside one of those big ones. You take the scissors in with you and the comb and you put them down on the shelf behind you and then they walk in and they put their hands in the gloves and the scissors in the thing and they're already in there.

That's a great idea. Perfect. You could do that with a big perspex wall if it was big enough. Or if it was an incubator, you've only got half an hour, otherwise you lose oxygen. Right. That's true. Maybe we could crack a small vent somewhere in that form. Okay.

Or take in an oxygen tank. Okay, great. But you're not allowed to go scuba diving at the moment, are you? No. There's an oversupply of oxygen. Yeah. The oxygen tank market has been struggling. Oh, my God.

The supply and demand situation is out of control. And number one on the list of the top six ways hairdressers can keep themselves safe in a level two situation are put the clippers on drones and then fly the drones in. I like this. Yep. And then when you need a blow wave, just hop on the drone. Brilliant.

And you know, at the end when the hair's everywhere, they're like, I'll just give you a quick brush off. Yeah. They don't. They just fly the drone around and around and it blows all the hair away. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. UberEats, I believe it said, I'm not sure, this sounds like a young fledgling company. Best of luck to them out there. Now,

there's been a complaint about one of their drivers because they are saying, an East Auckland family is saying their bubble was popped. Yeah. The day before they were due to reunite with 90-year-old grandmama. Me more.

Me, me mama. Right. How did he burst their bubble? Well, so they ordered a bacon cheeseburger and a chicken club combo. Okay. From Weandies. Okay. And at $8.59. Yeah. From Weandies. Okay.

And at 8.59. Yeah. The delivery. Oh, no. They made the order at 8. That's a 9 o'clock order on a Sunday Eve. That's a late din. I think someone's had a Sunday toke. A little Sunday evening smoke.

And they've got the munchies. Or dinner didn't work out, so they were like, well. They burnt it. And at 20 past nine, it arrived. Oh, late. Yeah. Okay. The driver dropped off the wrong order and left.

Came back with the correct one. Yeah. Because obviously still had it on them. It was like, I've made a mistake. Their son opened the front door after the driver knocked. The son turned to get the wrong order to give it back to the driver. And the driver stepped a step forward they're saying inside the front door and handed the son the right order

right and so that's a they're saying that's an absolute bubble breach their front door has been penetrated I don't find that he was wearing a mask and glove either way he shouldn't have been inside our house

and certainly wasn't invited in right yeah I don. I don't I don't know, would you care about I wouldn't care about that. I mean, I don't think I'd go to the media about it. Right, that's it. I'd probably wash my hands.

I wouldn't go to the media about a complaint because the media thrive on this sort of stuff. They're scumbags. The lot of them, from top to bottom. They use it to get voice breaks for their radio shows. Exactly. So they're the worst ones because the print, they print the story.

Yeah. Because people will be interested. Yeah. Apparently. Yeah. And then there's outrage. Yeah. And that powers the clicks.

However, it's these scumbags on the radio that come in and make light of the situation. Yeah. Put their opinions on it. But do it so loosely that they could walk away. No real skin in the game. They don't have the balls to pick one side or the other, these light entertainment brands.

They come in, They make their jokes. There's always one of them that laughs a lot. Nothing to lose. But they'll take it and use it as content. Yeah. Because that's what they want. Endless amounts of content. But this woman.

The media, mainstream media, the MSM. Yeah. Oh, they're terrible. Mainstream media. Absolutely scum of the earth. Does this woman just want a free voucher? Not sure what they want. Do you want a free dinner? What does she expect to get out of this?

Outrage? I don't know. Like, I don't see the problem with it. And also, if you were that concerned about your bubble, make dinner yourself. There's an idea for you. Make your own dinner. Or complain with the actual business.

Yeah, exactly. Just send a complaint to Uber Eats. This isn't a blanket problem. This is one person's panicky mistake. More risk of getting something at the supermarket. He was wearing gloves in a month. Like, there's no big deal here. I don't think.

It sounds to me like they didn't want to reunite with Grandma. And this is just what's needed. This is just what they needed to not have to get up at all. I think Grandma will never believe us. You know what we should do? No, but it's in the Herald. Go to the media. Because you know who Grandma trusts?

The mainstream media. Like the stupid old woman she is. She grew up in a time where you could trust. Yeah. Where you could trust the media. Yeah. But now they're all out for a reason, aren't they? Especially those light entertainment radio stations.

Light entertainment. Ugh. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I forgot to turn my mic on. You turned mine on, not your own. I know, I turned all of your mics on except mine. It's a rare occasion of a man making sure everyone else is turned on before they take care of themselves.

Thank you. You're a gem. You're a generous lover. Yeah. A generous lover. I've always imagined you'd be quite a selfish lover. Me too. Having never made love to you, it's purely speculation on this stage.

Having only fantasised about it. That would be wrong. I'm sure they could run a Colmar-Brunner poll and get a pretty good sample size. Thank God. Excuse me? God. Imagine if they asked everybody's contact list from the last five years.

We could just do a Polly Moly tomorrow. Can we move on? Do you think Fletch would be... Let's stop roasting me. Can we move on? Do you think Fletcher B... Let's stop roasting me. Are we live streaming? We're live streaming. You can join us FBMZM. Let's roast Vaughan soon on this bloody pottery cup you've got.

Your pottery coffee mug. You can't roast someone on a gift. Actually, I was somewhat hesitant upon its receivable as well, but I'm on board now. All right. Speaking of roasting, our Prime Minister has been an absolute savage the past few days.

Obviously has had enough of being... The questions. The questions and being... Well, it's good to question the government. It's good to question, say, well, what's the motivation behind this? And is this what is recommended? And that seems to be preempted.

The daily press conferences answer a lot of questions before they get asked. Yep. And, you know, if people have questions, the journalists at the end ask the same six questions over and over and over and over and over. And we all sit there and go, well, you know, they're just doing their job.

And questions are asked. And there might be silly stuff. But, I mean, you look at places where this doesn't happen, like China. There's no media or no opposition. No questions. You're not allowed to ask questions. And so there are no checks. There are no, you know, no one's really to account, are they?

Yeah. Yeah. And if Jacinda's sick of some journalist, she doesn't kick them out of the press conference. Everyone gets to stay. Yep. She'll still go back on Duncan Garner's show. Well, shall we start with Duncan Garner?

Because the Prime Minister has had a couple of savage burns. Yeah, including one to Duncan Garner. What's the figure you're looking for? Because I reckon this week looks like last week, and next week could look like this week. And all the international experts are saying that this is going to be the new normal for months and months and months. What are we waiting for?

I didn't realise you were an epidemiologist. Congratulations on your new qualifications, Duncan. If you want to get personal, that's fine. Wow. If you want to get personal. He was butt hurt by that too. Yeah. When you watched the clip.

She's not getting personal. You're not an epidemiologist, Duncan. And international experts are being consulted. Yeah. What was his question? I think he wanted to level two faster. I got what he meant.

Yeah, I don't know. I was lost in the question though. I don't think he had a question. Yeah, right. He was just talking. You familiar with Duncan Garner? There's a lot of talking. Well, I remember that awards acceptance speech

At the radio awards where we went on for 20 minutes Was that a radio award? I thought he was getting a Nobel Peace Prize It is important work we do on the radio Oh yeah, life changing Life changing stuff Certainly saving lives Yeah

And there was one yesterday to Simon Bridges in Parliament. Mr Speaker, that member may have the luxury of sitting on that side of the house, not bearing the consequences of a wrong move, but we do not. We have to factor in the livelihoods, the livelihoods of every New Zealander. Oh, I hate that. I can't hear what the hecklers are saying. It's actually that I can't hear what the hecklers are saying. It's actually good you can't hear what the hecklers are saying. Do you watch a bit of Parliament TV every now and then? I don't know if it's back on.

They're like school children. It's so juvenile sometimes. I'm sure I heard someone just say, shut up, in the background to her yesterday. One of the hecklers. I was like, it's got to be something. You can't just say shut up shut up shut up oh shut up you're gonna be paid like a hundred thousand dollars a year

to be like um okay what am i gonna pull out here shut up like the bad kids in class had better retorts than yeah yeah but simon bridges wasn't done. He had something more to say. Rather than making a decision at the start of lockdown and then leaving it, shouldn't the Prime Minister make a new decision every single day about how she can safely get more businesses back to business, saving jobs and livelihoods in this country?

Love to see the members' evidence that that's not exactly what we are doing. We make decisions every day to look after people's lives. As someone who's received the wage subsidy for their business I can attest to that. And it has changed, right?

There has been changes throughout. Like when it went to level three I was like well this wasn't going to happen, but we've made the decision this can happen. I would have thought I've seen a lot, because you know, that sort of what Simon Bridges is doing, putting the

burden, like just saying something and making it, I think it's called the burden of proof or the burden of truth. You're just saying something and the other person's got to use their time and energy to disprove you, even though you had no evidence to say it. You were just saying something and the other person's got to use their time and energy to disprove you, even though you had no evidence to say it. You were just the first to say it. Usually that flies in the politics arena.

But I've seen a lot of backlash about it. And from some people who are pretty serious national supporters that are like, look, this isn't the time to politicise this stuff. Because we feel like we're all in as a team, don't we? Yeah, we're working together.

In two days with zero cases, tomorrow there'll be an announcement on what Level 2 is going to look like. And then I believe Monday... We're going to know when we're going to move to Level 2. Yeah, and I think they've indicated before that might be a 48-hour notice kind of dealio. Right, right. So maybe Wednesday?

Okay. Sometime next week who knows it's all big maybes though all big maybes yeah but you know we hang out for those one o'clock presses

I'm a one o'clock I'm gonna miss them yeah that's okay you can get one of those t-shirts with Ashley Bloomfield's face on it

it's the whole it's Ashley he's a main part of what I'll miss but it's the whole dynamic I think every day there should be one and they should just have a deal. Like one day the Department of Conservation has one. And they're like, great news.

422 Kiri Roo's. Yeah, yeah. We've had a kakapo born. Oh, brilliant. And then they've got a photo of the kakapo and everyone's like. That'd be great. Can everyone invest it in different areas. Yeah.

We need numbers. Being in isolation, I feel it's going to affect the way we do so many things. Are we going to shake... We were just talking earlier. Are we going to shake hands on the other side of this? I know, I actually get fascinated reading... It's weird to me out now.

Yeah, like so many articles at the moment, like what's the future going to be like? Yeah. Are we going to be like? Yeah. Are we going to wear bras again? Who knows? Because. Why bras? Because we've been so comfy in isolation not wearing them.

Right. And then when you go back to work, you're like, oh yeah, that's right. This harness thing's not comfortable. When you get home, first thing you do, bra off. Yeah. The over the shoulder boulder holder. The over the shoulder boulder holder. You over-the-shoulder boulder holder.

You've never heard it called that? Nah. Over-the-shoulder boulder holder, yeah. That's what boomers call it. Yeah, yeah. It was a good laugh there. So, yeah, I've always wondered this because the, like, rumor is that if you don't wear a bra, they go saggy.

Right. So it's for support. Someone has done a study and asked lots of professionals whether not wearing a bra during isolation is a bad idea and whether it will actually cause any kind of damage. So one time apparently you should wear a bra, it's very good for your health is when you're exercising because

that was what I was going to say that would be surely it causes strain it can cause micro damage and micro traumas to the tissue and the skin and then it can also cause

stretch marks which we don't care about in this day and age but it's the micro damage and traumas that's not good for your boobies and then they said apart from that depending on the good for your boobies. And then they said, apart from that,

depending on the size of the boobies of the woman, it's more about comfort. So when you're walking around at home, when you're sitting at your computer and everything, it's not actually going to cause any damage, any long lasting damage. Do you know what does cause sagging? Apparently it's not the...

Chippies. It is something you consume. Oh really? Soy! No. Yeah, soy milk. Smoking breaks down skin tissue and can contribute to sagging of boobies. Huh.

Okay. Yeah. But yeah, if you're not wearing a bra, unless you're exercising it's probably not going to contribute. They said that just happens over time anyway. Right. But do you think this is going to mean people when they go back to work in the office are going to go braless maybe huh what'd you look i don't think i would i do i'm just so i'm just so used to it now like it feels like a bit of um i don't know feels like it's just what you do when you go out in public. Yeah, right.

Would it be like wearing a supportive underpant for the males? Down to the individual. Yeah. Whether you like it to be like tucked up or. Yeah. I remember when I used to wear satin boxer shorts. I mean, I couldn't imagine doing that now. It was madness.

You've got to have a boxer brief. It was a different time. It's just a good support there for everything. Yeah. Because with age, it kind of like... It started falling down the leg. Maybe because the satin box offered no support. No support, and then it like, you know... Jeez!

That was quite an aggressive... You don't want to be running and it's all like, you know... Yeah, right, I gotcha. Wow, okay. Flopping around. Well, running and it's all like, you know. Yeah, right. I got you. Wow. Okay. Flopping around. Well, no, it's like running with boobies, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, you've got to have that support. Yeah, right. Yeah. On a smaller scale. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Interesting. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, in a desperate attempt to publish some news that isn't COVID-19 or corona related, the Daily Mail in Australia has released an article about a TikTok user who is at odds with her husband when it comes to his dental routine.

Cassie is her name, and she says her husband has a four-step regime for brushing his teeth. Okay. So it goes Listerine, which is an alcohol-based mouthwash. Is this in order? Yeah. This is already back to front for me. Listerine, floss, brush, fluoride mouthwash. What?

On the end. Fluoride isn't fluoride and Listerine. A fluoride whitening rinse. C? On the end. Fluoride, isn't fluoride in Listerine? A fluoride whitening rinse. Crest whitening rinse. Oh, but it's in our water and it's in the toothpaste. Why would you need it? A lot of places don't have it in the water, eh? Right.

Yeah, but no. So he does a full pointer. Does anyone else find Listerine too full on? Like, I prefer the Colgate, the Plax. I like the Boone. Because Listerine's like, no, I don't like it. I feel like it's doing something. I think maybe I had this bad experience once where I ate a whole bag of chips,

maybe Doritos with the sharp jagged edges. Yeah. And then I Listerined and it was like. Right. Maybe I had like abrasions that I, you know, like microscopic abrasions from the Doritos. And the alcohol. And the alcohol got in there in the mouthwash.

Yeah, I'm hearing that. Yeah. I'm just looking for, I know Listerine's got a range of flavors. A coconut and lime. Get out of town. Limited edition Listerine, coconut and lime, zero alcohol. Is that in New Zealand? Well, this is on Listerine.co.nz.

This is a no way, by the way, a paid endorsement for Listerine. I don't think I need my mouthwash to taste like a Thai curry. Well, no, because you know that Plax have got that green tea one, which weirded me out because I went there. The best Plax one is the pink one. Hard to find, but always worth it. Oh, that's never on special, the pink one, so I don't buy that. Oh, I've only ever seen one on special.

I only ever get the blue one or the green one. What does the pink one taste like? Bubblegum. What is it called? Something mint berry or something. Maybe I should try that. that's special. I've only ever get the blue one or the green one. What does the pink one taste like? What is it called? Something mint berry or something. Maybe I should try that. It's yum. Aside though, you don't mouthwash first.

I mouthwash as I floss. Do you mouthwash every day? Not every day. I don't even think I have mouthwash. Yeah, I mouthwash every day. I've been a bit out of routine of late. But when I've got my routine, I mouthwash and floss in the shower

while I'm showering. Okay. And then I love doing that thing where you spit it out onto the floor of the shower and make a quick assessment of how much blood is in there. That's a sign of gingivitis. No, it's not. It's a sign of flossing your teeth

like they're on their final warning. Okay. If you go to the dentist, there's a checkpoint down the bottom. It does do your mouth bleed. No warning. If you go to the dentist, there's a checkpoint down the bottom. It does your mouth bleed. No, because if you go to the hygienist, and they give you a good old cleaning, man, they mouth chocolate with blood.

But you don't mouthwash first. I mouthwash as I flush. Yeah, I do, because it loosens everything. It loosens. That's what the toothbrush does. It gives, no, the toothbrush's job is to clean. This is like the rinse of the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. No, it gives you a brush. It gives, no, the toothbrush's job is to clean. This is like the rinse of the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. No, it's not.

The floss as the scrubbing brush and the mouthwash is the rinse before you put the teeth or the dishes into the dishwasher, aka the toothbrush. Brush, floss, mouthwash. Yes. Yeah, okay. That's like going to the car wash and doing the hot wax first and then doing the brush at the end. Yeah, I agree.

It's like giving it a rinse before you wash it. It's like using the rinse cycle before you do the high-pressure wash. No, but everything's stuck. Just washing some liquid around is not going to do anything. It'll loosen it right up. And then I always have another swig right at the end before I leave. So you're double mouthwashing. Well, I'm quite an aggressive brusher.

That's probably a surprise to you. You're a gentle lover. I'm a genteel man in every other aspect of my life. No hurry. But I get a lot of the toothpaste bubbles stuck in my beard. So I always need to give my face a splash and a wash afterwards and then I'll have another quick swig of mouthwash. So I'm on board with this guy. splash and a wash afterwards, and then I'll have another quick swig of mouthwash. So I'm kind of on board with this guy.

I don't use two different mouthwashes. He leads the charge with the Listerine and finishes with a whitening. Yeah, right. Which it keeps going. It keeps activating. To be fair, I don't use mouthwash. I'm just saying if I did, it would be at the end. Never use mouthwash.

Only if it's on special. Very occasionally. It's like fabric softener. Yeah, I don't use fabric. If you're feeling bougie. That's a gimmick. I went home once and mum saw my mouthwash. She's like, do you use that?

I was like, yeah. Oh, it gives you cancer. I was like, I don't think it does, mum. I think everyone uses mouthwash. Did you hear that once in the 80s, maybe? Wow. Who was anti-mouthwash in the 80s? I don't know.

One of the toothbrush people? It doesn't matter. She'll eat margarine. She'll eat margarine, sure, but not mouthwash. Wow. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hello. I've got a wardrobe hack for you right now because if you like me,

you're jamming everything in and every time it just gets a little bit more bursty. Do you know, remember I lived in a barn, the leaky barn? Yeah. I had a tiny wardrobe and it was just a pole across the cupboard and I had so much stuff on the pole, which I think would be, what kind of metal would that be? Like steel or something?

It was like a galvanised pipe. Yeah. Wasn't it? Yeah. And it broke. Wow, you broke steel with the weight of your clothing. It's an old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old But if you've got lots of things I've got a good way to stack your clothes In your wardrobe What? Nothing

Don't clear your throat like you've got a grand announcement Ladies and gentlemen I have cleared my throat So what you will need for today's Arts and Graphs Is a can Okay A can of whatever drink you like because you just need the little tab off.

You know when you flip back and forward and the little tab comes off? Yeah, the tab comes off. I was planning on giving that to a girl that I wanted to kiss. Was that a thing in school? Do you guys not remember that? No.

Was that just a Warrensville thing? I'm sure it wasn't. You got the tab off a can and that meant you got to kiss someone. That was like a thing. That sounds odd. You didn't get to kiss them. It was purely an application.

Okay. It was like a CV. Here's my application form. Yeah, yeah. I would be interested. And if you were really popular and lots of people wanted to kiss you, you had plenty of them. But of course, that just attracted more tabs.

Yeah, I was about to me too your entire primary school. This was a high school. High school. Morrinsville College. Yeah. So, about to me too your entire primary school. This was a high school. This was a high school. More in the middle of college. So yeah, you've got your little tab off your can of whatever drink.

Okay. Now this is, this will work for coat hangers that have the metal curvy bit that hangs over. Because I've got those plastic ones.

Yeah. It's the whole thing plastic. Yeah, the whole thing's plastic. Oh. Oh. Oh. Got it. And you wonder why your steel pipe broke with your heavy wood and metal. No, I just like all my hangers to match.

Oh, yeah, all mine match. They're all black. That's fair enough. All black plastic. But you can have plastic ones that still have the metal at the top. Yeah, yeah. I just happen to have wooden ones. So you get your little, what is it called?

Tab. A ring tab. Ring tab, yeah. Your little ring tab and you pop it over the top of the metal hanger. Yeah, okay. Then you get your other hanger. Oh, so that's, yeah, right. That's made.

It's made your one hanger into a double. Now I just look, because you know how those tabs have got two holes in it? Yep. You just loop the other hanger through that hole. Look at that. Double trouble. Show me.

Look. That's taking up just as much room in your wardrobe. No, it's not safe. These hangers on the rail. Yeah, but that bottom hanger that you've got is going to push the next hanger

away from it. I don't think you've saved F all. No. Space. I don't think you've saved F all space. And now every time you want to get that thing off that lower hanger, you've got to go to the effort of getting it out of a smaller hole rather than just popping it off the rail. No, but it's... Shut up, Dad.

This is... Mum! Okay, no, but if you did this a couple of times, you are going to get, when it goes down lower. Are you saying you just keep going down so you've got a diagonal wardrobe? Yeah, and then therefore... What a nightmare to find everything.

The items that are down, yeah, but you can put stuff away for like your winter stuff or your summer stuff. You might not need. Do you know what? You could go, you could hang, oh no, that's not good for space. What?

I was going to say you could hang them all that way and then just hang everything down. No? Yeah, but the pole doesn't go that way, does it? No, but the top thing rotates. Oh yeah, it rotates. Okay, yeah, okay. Yeah, you could. Yeah.

I mean, depending on how much stuff you've got. You'd have to have a lot of pole though. Yeah. You'd have to have a lot of pole, long pole, because that takes up, the width of that jacket takes up like 18. I think that's a good idea though. Thank you. Because if you go down three or four, you're definitely going to save space.

But then you don't want the bottom stuff touching the bottom. Because I like all my jackets at the right side and then I work through. My jackets are on the left. Interesting. My jackets are on the left too. I go jackets, sweatshirts, hoodies, t-shirts, pants. Yeah, Fletch hangs everything.

I hang everything. I have everything. I hang everything. What about shorts? He's got so much wardrobe, real estate, and coat hangers. He hangs everything. You're a psycho. Why am I a psycho?

Because you hang in your t-shirts. No, but then you get to hang my t-shirts if I had the run. Yeah, exactly. Then you don't have fold marks in them. It's like American Psycho. No, it's like Christian Bale in that movie. You get to see the whole t-shirts if I had the room. Yeah, exactly. Then you don't have fold marks in them. It's like American Psycho. No, it's like Christian Bale in that movie. You get to see the whole t-shirt. I get to see the whole t-shirt, yeah.

You're definitely Christian Bale. How am I Christian Bale? In American Psycho. I see people come to work and I say, oh, you've got a fold mark in your t-shirt. Don't hang your t-shirts. I'm embarrassed for people. What about a visible peg mark?

Oh yeah Sometimes I have a See look There's a visible peg mark Oh yeah That's a heavy imprint Because I hang everything On my clothes horse as well

You don't need a peg On a clothes horse Yes you do We've discussed this You get a fold mark You get a fold line You get a line You'd rather have

Christ Smith Right You'd rather have that You're doing my head in today Right We'll keep it going next Because I believe it's the return of Don't Get Fletch Started

Yep I'm having to tease my own segment Because Warren forgets No, I didn't forget I just hadn't got there yet Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM

I'm all Get started I'm all Get started Get started Don't get Fletch started Don't get fleshed outed Don't get fleshed outed In here

Don't get fleshed outed Don't get fleshed outed In here Yeah Done Megan, just before we get to the segment I was wondering if I might inquire as to your opinion

if someone got a new phone and wanted to start from scratch You know when you don't when you get a new phone and you don't just copy your old someone got a new phone and wanted to start from scratch. You know when you get a new phone and you don't just copy your old phone onto your new phone? Yeah, right. I did that with my last phone. You just want to start fresh. Just starting afresh.

You look at your old phone, you see the apps that tickled your fancy, it's a good chance to have a clear out of the ones that do nothing for you. Yeah. And then start afresh. Yeah, it's your phone, your prerogative. Do what you want. Now, what would you. Yeah, it's your phone, your prerogative. Do what you want.

Now, what would you say if someone got a new phone, started afresh, and didn't update their wallpaper in the background of their phone to maybe a photo of a loved one or a picturesque landscape they may have experienced? If they just left it on that one, that's just a picture of the world that we all live on. Well, it's their phone. It's their prerogative.

They're going to look at it. Quite a beautiful default wallpaper. They are. They are. They're very well taken photos so you can see why they put them on there as an option. Thanks for that. Good chat. Well, while we've got you here, Fletch, what do you think? You know this

irks me because I mentioned that I saw somebody at the supermarket and over their shoulder while I was two metres apart in the line for the checkout saw that they had an iPhone with the picture of the world, the default screensaver. Now, you can have any photo in the world on that phone, but you've gone for the default. It just gets me so wild. Wait a minute. What you said, they could have any photo in the world on their phone?

Yeah. And the one on the phone is a photo. But don't use the default background. Like, surely you've been somewhere nice? But all your apps are there. It's the person that, you know, makes travel their priority. No, but surely you've got an animal you could put on there. Surely you've got a sunset picture.

But they've got all their apps on there. It covers most of it anyway. But it just, it does my head in. Just put anything there. Don't use the default. You have such a strict criteria to be your friend. In a movie, when someone's got the world as their screensaver

on their phone, or a TV show, I'm like, at least give this character a bit of personality. Give them a backstory. Do the minimal work for quiet. Like, at least give them a nice sunset or a mountain range that you've quickly googled. But my background

on my laptop is this like sand dune. you've quickly Googled. But my background on my laptop is this. Like sand dune. Yeah, I've never been there. But I've changed my laptop background, and every time I restart my computer or do an update, it just disappears. I've been to a sand dune when we went to Dubai. We went together.

We got a picture of the three of us on the dune. It wasn't this good. I'll give you that. I could say I snuck off and took this when we went on that Sandra and Safari in Dubai. Do you have a picture on your laptop background? What have I got at the moment? You won't have fault.

Yeah, because I personalised it. This is a picture of Mount Taranaki. Oh, that's beautiful. It's beautiful. Is that from the Maui oil rig or is that just from the sea? I don't know. It's just from the sea. Who sent you that?

Mum sent that to me. Where did she get it from? Oh, I think someone from work. Oh, so you're using somebody else's photo that somebody else took of something that you like as your personal background, huh? Yeah. But this is just my work. Oh, that's just your computer, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah, this is my work laptop. It doesn't matter. But at home, I've got like a photo I took on my desktop and on my phone I've got like a photo I took on my desktop. And on my phone, I've got like a photo I took. But what does it matter who took it? Just don't use the default. Like at least have some personality. I don't know.

It's a real sticking point on our computer at home, the desktop one. I've just always just copied. When I got a new one, just copied it all onto it. Yep. And the background is a photo of Indy when she was young, before we started here, so over six years ago.

Okay. And I've always really liked it. It's a beautiful photo of her and me and her on a trampoline. And it's a real sticking point with August now that she's doing school at home. As to why she's not made the wallpaper, the cut on the wallpaper.

You can't just have one child on the wallpaper. I said, well, we've got to find a photo of you both. And she's like, there's lots. You should use it for good behaviour. We've got to find a photo of you both. Yeah. There's lots. Can you just like crudely cut out a photo and stick it over?

Stick it on. No, you should just use it as collateral. Like when Augie's good, she gets the photo. Well, it could be this afternoon's computer class. Teach yourself how to change a wallpaper. Yeah. Is that an NCEA credit? The reward is being on the wallpaper. Yeah. Until then.

No. So what would your advice be if someone is now listening to the show and they're looking at their phone and they see their default wallpaper? Go for a walk and take a photo. Of anything. What if it was a selfie? Is that acceptable?

Sure, anything. Oh, that would be weird. If you had a selfie of yourself. Oh yeah, that would be weird. If it was just you. Yeah. What if it was a real good one? Still weird.

Still weird, yeah, still weird. If you were in it and it was of like a picturesque area, that's fine, but if it's just your face, that's really weird. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Am I a bad person? Oh, it is. This has three big issues all wrapped in one. Okay.

Three big topics. This is someone who needs our advice. Yeah, we need your help now. We need you to decide, New Zealand. If they're a bad person or not. Hi, FVM. I need your advice on what to do about my Level 3 wedding on Friday. My partner and I have decided to still get married in lockdown.

We're pretty casual about it all and it will be a low-key affair. This is this Friday? Yeah. Feels like two days out from a wedding. You kind of want all your questions answered. Well, it's okay. It sounds like it's going to be, you know, just on Zoom or something. Right.

They are allowed to have 10 people attend in person. Or hit us with a Zoom link. I always love a Zoom. I don't know how you're going to get me the free booze and the food. See, this is a wedding I'd go to because I could just slip out. You could record a background of you just sitting there. Yeah. And then you wouldn't even have to be there.

Brilliant. We've both got siblings who we want to be there, leaving only four spaces left. I get on fine with my partner's parents, but I'd rather have my two best friends there than my parents. If we were still having a big wedding, we'd keep them on the invite list. Now that it's down to the bare essentials, I don't think it's necessary. My partner thinks I'm going to regret the decision, but I feel fine about it. We haven't fallen out or anything. We

just aren't close. I think they'll be a little upset they weren't invited, but it's my decision, right? Am I a bad person for choosing to have a couple of my friends at my wedding over my parents? As someone who's had two weddings, and you two are among the few that were at both, I mean, I don't... Did you hear that? We are her best friends. Yeah. And Ross Boss and my parents? We are her best friends Yeah And Ross Boss Did you guys hear that? And my parents

We are her best friends That's about it Really? Ross Boss isn't your best friend I've heard you say some horrendous things About him lately Some real horrible Horrible things

Yeah He deserves them So then Minus Ross Boss We're your best friends Yeah Okay I just wanted that special moment to be had.

Well, you're still here and I can't get rid of you. Fair call. But my point is that your friends kind of rotate sometimes. Like, they don't have to stick around. You can fall out for your parents. You think about how many weddings you've been to and, like, do you even talk to the people now? Some of them? Nope. I know, isn't that crazy? Wed weddings you've been to and do you even talk to the people now? Some of them?

Nope. I know, isn't that crazy? Oh, weddings I've been to I talk to more than some of the people I invited to my wedding. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Who did you invite to your wedding that you don't talk to now?

You. Megan. Megan's ex-husband. You dropped balls. I thought you were actually going to say the people. Everybody we used to work with. Yeah. Right. Okay. You dropped balls I thought you were actually going to say the people Everybody we used to work with Right, okay They made the choice

I didn't unfriend them on Facebook I thought we could have remained civil The next thing you know, unfriended Wait off my shoulders Wait off my shoulders I was sick of carrying them, to be honest. Oh, my God.

Fair call. But that is a good point. Because you might not be, like, really close with your parents, but they haven't fallen out. So they're still your parents. They're always going to be there. Also, most parents are paying a bit for the weddings, aren't they? Yeah, but this is, like, a low-key affair.

Yeah, okay Are you saying that's why most people have their parents at their wedding? Yeah, because they pay for it Well, I'm just saying If you raised me, you know, you told me right from wrong But if you ain't got that money Well, I'm just saying if they gave you, you know, 10 grand or something Yeah, it'd be rude not to

Yeah She did say she's pretty casual about it all, but it might not, so she is casual about the whole thing, but for her parents, like, that might mean a lot to them, you know? Now, it's interesting, because I would have thought this would have been,

with parents involved, I thought this might have been quite one-sided, but early voting, and we'll give you the poll result next from our Instagram, but it's quite... Oh, good tease. I thought you were going to tell me. It's quite even.

Really? So you tell us now what you think. 0800 DALS at M9696. Is she a bad person for not inviting her parents to the isolation wedding and wanting her friends instead? Yeah. Very good immediate question is, why don't they just wait

until lockdown's over? It's only a couple of weeks. Well, yeah, especially if it's low-key, right? Yeah. Or do you think they've got a venue? Does it say where they're having the wedding? No. In the email? No. Pretty casual. It'll be a low-key affair. Yeah, but if it's during the stage of lockdown it can't be a venue.

It's got to be at the house. Yeah, true. In a public park. Also, remember she said they've both got siblings who they want to be there. This is another family where they get along so well. Who likes their siblings better than they like their parents? Yeah.

That's odd, eh? You compete against your siblings for your parents' love. They're your enemy for the will. Don't be nice to them. They will stab you in the back and take all of mum and dad's sweet money. Now, it's most important that you are a frontrunner or executor of the will so you can make that thing fall in your favour when they leave this earthly plane. Megan wouldn't know what it's like to be the executor of their parents' will

because she's not trusted. No. But neither is my brother. Yeah, I'm the executor of their parents' will because she's not trusted. No, but neither is my brother. Yeah, I'm the executor of her parents' will. And your parents. And my parents. And I'm trying to wiggle my way into your parents' as well. It's a great day to be me.

All right, 0800-DARLES-AT-HEM-9696. Is she a bad person for wanting to invite her friends, not her parents, to her lockdown wedding? Breaking news. I have some breaking news. A surprise for you, Megan. This involves you, this breaking news. After Am I a Bad Person and just before Fact of the Day,

I am going to break this news to you, Megan, and the entire country. It's news. At once. It is news. Big news involving you. Oh, God. And it's not a puppy. Do I not know about it?

No, you don't know about it. Okay. But did you just say it's good news that I am the executor of your parents' will? They're not dead. Wait a minute. Did someone tell you something? Died. Yes.

And you just found out the news, Vaughn? What is it? Did they tell you? Should you tell me? Or am I the only one that knows? Yes. No, absolutely. Are my parents, Vaughn? What is it? Did they tell you? Should you tell us? Or am I the only one that knows? Yes. No, absolutely. Are my parents okay?

No, this is fine. Okay. Your parents are fine. It's not about your parents. Their house, though, burnt to the ground. Ten minutes. Oh, good Lord. Ten minutes.

There goes my bloody... Ten minutes. No, but they were over-insured. Excuse me. If we can get away with this fraudulent insurance claim, we're all going to be rich. I don't know about this. All right, 10 minutes, big news.

Am I a bad person? I can't concentrate now. All right, am I a bad person? Now, the nation quite divided on this. So a person, a female and her partner, I can't concentrate, decided to get married in lockdown this Friday. They're casual about it.

They're allowed 10 people now between both their siblings and they want their friends there. There's no room for the bride's parents. So the question is, is she a bad person for choosing to have a couple of her friends at a wedding over her own parents? Now, is it hard for us because we don't understand what that would be like? I mean, obviously some people don't have a good relationship

with their parents. But she does say they haven't fallen out or anything, but they're not close. Well, again, we don't know what. You don't have to have fallen out with your parents to not get along with them. You could have just given them a few chances. You've been let down over and over and fool me once,

shame on me, fool me twice. I don't care if you're my mum. Get out of my house. So we don't know the entire backstory there. All right, so is she a bad person for not inviting her parents to the isolation quarantine wedding? Nyree, what do you think? I don't think she's a bad person because it is her wedding.

It is her choice and that's something we were always told when we were doing ours. Yeah. But she should put the thought into it, though. Family's forever. Friends aren't. I had friends at my wedding that I no longer really talk to anymore. So, you know, you kind of got to weigh it up like that. Yeah, I agree with you.

That's what you said, Megan. Yeah. They'll always be your parents. Yeah, and, like, you know, my wedding was only two years ago. It was actually the same day as yours, Megan. And, you know, like, yeah. Were you stressing about the rain as well? Oh, yeah, and miraculously, like, we had a gap where it was perfectly fine,

and it came out sunny and hot, so that was kind of beautiful. Oh, my God, same as yours, Megan. Did many of your guests have a taxi driver that drove a van at about 100 k's an hour down a gravel road on the way home? No, but we had a massive bus that was swinging around corners instead. So many parallels. Good time. Nairi, thanks for your call.

An anonymous caller. Is she a bad person, yes or no? Hey, guys. How are you goingairi, thanks for your call. An anonymous caller. Is she a bad person? Yes or no? Hey, guys. How are you going? Good, good, man. Hey, after listening to what Nairi answered, I guess it's yes and no.

You can choose who you want at your wedding, but like you guys have reiterated, you've said it multiple times before, your friends, sorry, you won't have your friends always compare to your parents, you know, like your parents still. Whereas like, you'll fall out with your friends, but I feel like your parents might resent you a little bit afterwards for not letting them share that special day with you. And what happens in the future if you become close then then you're not going to

be able to get that moment back yeah also if i was a parent i would uh i'd be really i'd just change the will and jokes on them yeah if you could have one thing as a parent like why would you not want to see them on the happiest day of your life kind of thing you know yeah for sure so you're erring more towards bad the the bad, bad person. Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Text messages. Terrible person. The parents will be heartbroken.

You're a spoiled brat. But again, we don't know the entire situation. Yeah, true. So maybe not. And somebody said, this feels like the parents don't really like the partner. If there hasn't been a falling out, they're not inviting them.

So maybe it's a partner issue. Okay. Yeah. Imagine carrying your child for nine months, pushing that thing out, wiping its shitty ass, loving it and nurturing it for years just to have them pick a few temporary friends over you. Yeah. 100% a bad person.

So our Instagram poll, and this had about 13,000 votes at last look. 59% said bad person. So 60-40. Okay. Or 59-41. I'd say the text and the calls we've got today would be slightly more towards bad person. So what, you reckon even higher? Like what, 65?

Bad person. I was thinking like 70-30. Okay. Yeah. So invite your parents. Yeah. Invite your parents because you might regret that down the track. All right, next on the show, a little deviation from our normal programming.

We're going to just delay fact of the day a little bit. We've got some breaking news that involves Megan. She doesn't know what this breaking – Is it something that I will like or does it involve me? You'll like it. It involves you. And we're going to break the news to you, Megan, at the same time as we tell the nation. This is

exciting. You are going to be on cloud nine for the rest of the day. Forgive me if I don't trust you. Are you hearing this? We're her best friends and she's not trusting us. Well, we've been to both of her weddings. Yeah. Short list of people who have.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Breaking news. Something that has just come to our attention that involves Megan. It involves me. And it's fair to say none of us like it when there's a surprise. When it involves you. Yeah, and you just put on the spot because it's awkward. How do you feel right now?

My mouth's dry. I'm like, what have I done? What have you done? That's a guilty conscience, eh? Yeah, isn't it? When you're like, there's a surprise

and someone immediately assumes it's something bad, I mean, that's a guilty conscience. It's you two. What do you mean? I just feel like something's come to light

that I've done. Something's going to happen and you don't know what it is, I'm like, who's here to say thank you? That's immediately what I think. Yeah, yeah.

I think who, what charities come forth to praise me for my wonderful work I've done for them? Sure. What persons I think. Yeah, yeah. I think who, what charities come forth to praise me for my wonderful work I've done for them. Sure. What persons come forward to thank me for, I don't know. Well, this isn't about you, Vaughn. Endless good times.

This isn't about you, Vaughn. This is about Megan. Oh, yeah. Wow, so it'll be bad. We could just announce it to you, or we could play, should we play the audio? Would that be better, do you think? Oh, no.

Is it me? What did I, no. What have you done? Remember that inappropriate voice you used to do? I think you'll recognise this voice though, Megan. I've noticed that because we can't go anywhere, everyone's shopping online, but it's hard to tell what something looks like,

can't try it on. Take a look at this video of something a woman invented to make it easier to shop online. There's one woman out there in New Zealand. She's being hailed as a hacking hero for her method of shopping for shoes. Megan Pappas printed out a mini version of herself and then holds it above each style of her shoes that she's considering on buying. Okay, so this way she gets a somewhat realistic preview of what they'll look like on her Are you trolling me? Right Twitch? Yeah

Yeah That's very smart You're on Ellen! You! Are you trolling me? No, you're on Ellen, look Did you put that together? No, no, no, it's on Ellen's official YouTube

You're on Ellen! You were on Ellen! Oh, see ya! It's been great! Oh my god, I'm so happy! Vaughn's just showing you the laptop. So you're on. Oh, my God. I'm on Ellen.

You're on Ellen. And there she is. It's your technique to shop for undies. They said my name. And you can see you, the cutout of you that you made for your shopping hack. Why does this make me so proud of all the things I've done? Wow. Wow.

That's real, eh? Now, it wouldn't be. Is that real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's real now. 100%. It wouldn't be us if I wasn't to take this moment to rob you of that and say that was Fletcher's idea. I was going to take this moment to rob you of that and say

that was Fletcher's idea. I was going to let her have that. I was going to let her have that actually. Well anyway, life achievement. You could have been on Ellen. Life achievement, you've been on Ellen. How amazing is that? You popped up on Ellen.

I really thought that was going to be something terrible that I'd done. And after all the nice things you've said about Ellen lately. Yeah. Should we please that she gave you some promo? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, dayletch, I'm going to need my aux cord turned up. Yep, it's ready to go, mate. I'm going to play you in the background this classic.

Evanescence. Yes. Bring me to life. Correct. Year it was released? 2005? Four, six, four, three, two. Bring Me To Life correct year it was released 2000 and five four six

four back three back two one three no three

you went back too far you backed into the wall damn it it was 2003 won a few awards a Grammy Award for the best hard rock performance Billboard Music Award

for soundtrack single of the year yep and a massive song kind of launched Evanescence you would agree by the way I just looked because I'm playing this track single of the year. Yep. And a massive song kind of launched Evanescence, you would agree. By the way, I just looked,

because I'm playing this off Spotify, 368 million plays for the song. Wow. Wow. So for a song that came out so long before,

it obviously still resonates with a lot of goths or people who were goths that every now and then tap back into the goths. Yeah. Now it's the chorus I want to talk about, this part. Wake me up.

Wake me up inside. Wake me up. Wake me up inside. You'll notice it has some male vocals in it. Wake me up. Yeah. That is Christian rocker Paul McCoy. Okay.

Didn't know that. I assumed it was someone in the band, but no, it was Paul McCoy. And that is not how Amy Lee wanted the song to be. When she released the song originally and played it for a record company and they sent around the demos and tested it on some radio stations, it sounded more like this.

Oh, that's rubbish rubbish isn't it I think I prefer it Yeah But that's because we know it The shouty new metal phase is kind of

done right Yeah And that was what Paul was adding to the mix I mean that was like Linkin Park kind of heightened

Linkin Park new metal She was Linkin Park, new metal. She was told by a record company, she's told this story since, that it sounded too chick and no one would buy it. It sounded too, wow. Are you surprised? It sounded too chick and no one would buy it. She said it wasn't masculine enough. While she has a lovely voice,

it wasn't quite throaty enough. She said, I remember having many talks in the early 2000s with the suits about my femininity. Being a negative thing. Right. And they said there's nothing on the radio like this right now. This again has radio people to blame.

They are scum of the earth. These. I like to call them entertainment light. Yeah. Play more mute. Just play a song. I'm sick of hearing your relatable stories about what you're experiencing in life and how that might relate to people possibly listening.

Like, I don't need that from you. I've got friends that I have conversations with. Playing a song. So, yeah Yeah She said that It went in Sounding one way And came out Sounding completely differently

No No No doubting That she has In the most amazing voice A very powerful singer But this is what it Ended up sounding like

It just goes to prove Sometimes Sometimes you just need To add a bit of Christian rock, hard-up rock to anything to make it better. Anything. Yeah. This beautiful piece of art that she created, and they tell her that she needs a...

It's beautiful. Your voice is stunning. The whole production's wonderful. Now, can we just get a dude to yell? Would that be something you'd be interested in? Oh, not really. It kind of takes away from the, what we really want is just some dude to scream.

Wow. So yeah, today's fact of the day is Evanescence's biggest song, Bring Me To Life, was never meant to have this guy in it. Call my name and save me from Fact of the Day! Day... See, that was better. Kiwi couples are getting married less. See, that was better. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Kiwi couples are getting married less.

Kiwi marriages has dropped to its lowest level in nearly 60 years. Oh, God. I've become a wedding celebrant. I shouldn't have done that, should I? You chucked it all in, didn't you? I chucked it all in for that. Last year, there was still 19,071 Kiwi couples that got married. Okay.

I think you meant celebrants. It feels like there are. Are they making it harder now? Everyone's a celebrant, aren't they? It's because everyone says to their friend, can you marry us? No, it's cool, but I hate going to weddings anyway. It's kind of strange as weddings. God, what a waste of your weekends.

Do you hate going to weddings? No. You've definitely saved some cash on you. I said that to Sade last night. I was like, I've got the urge to go to a wedding. Really? She said, that's very unlike you. It is unlike you.

And I said, well, you know, I like getting boozy and silly and eating nice food. I said, it'd have to be nice food. I'd want to see a menu before I go. Wow, even someone like you, this is what the lockdown's done, even someone like you wants to go to a wedding. But a strictly time-restricted function with limited people. Okay, yeah.

Yeah, right. What's the least people getting married? It's almost 2,000 down on 2018. That was 20,949. So in New Zealand, it peaked in 1971 with just over 27,000 couples getting married. Now we're down to 19,000. I blame the eroding family values in this country.

You like that, didn't you? I like it a lot. I like it a lot. It said a lot without saying much at all. Yeah, didn't it? Didn't it? Delivered. 72% of those marriages were first marriages.

So 28. 72% did you say? Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. So 28% were repeat offenders. Well, you would be in that stat. No, I got married in 2018.

Okay. Right. Yeah, 2018. Okay. Right. Yeah. 2018. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Okay.

I'm just thinking how we can bolster those numbers for the celebrants. Well, I don't know if five weeks of lockdown is going to do wonders for marriage. No. Although a friend of ours just got engaged, didn't they? We won't say who in case we're spoiling that. In lockdown. Yes, yes. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Like just proposed in lockdown. Yes. Like just yesterday. Is that, you know, they say you shouldn't like do things during a traumatic experience.

Right, you shouldn't go to the supermarket when you're hungry. Yeah. Should you propose when you're in lockdown? Because. I think if you've survived that long in lockdown and you're still in the mood to be romantic,

it's amazing enough, but to propose to somebody. Yeah. Phenomenal effort. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hit music lives here. ZM.