ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 6th November 2020

Episode Date: November 5, 2020

James Blunt  Top 6: Other TV Shows We Need Back  Yummy Yummy!  NZ's Favourite Ice Cream!  Am I a Bad Person?  Vaughan's Girthy Zucc'  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fleets Morning Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Download the Macca's app to get McCafe rewards today. Great day for us because old Smithy from the farm let has brought in a giant tray of eggs that we can all help ourselves to. 30 eggs. The eggs, I tell you what, they're all laying. We're back to a full laying roster. They're laying. Oh, I forgot my container as well. I know you said bring in... You can cut those trays. Okay, we might have to do that. You can cut the tray in.

You're going to walk home with a tray. I've done it before, Megan. Sometimes I individually wrap the eggs in paper towels. Eggs. I wrap the eggs. I wrap the eggs. In paper towels. Individual.

Just roll the dice and they'll make it. And just put them in a little container. Ooh. Yeah. Well, the kitchen here is always full of rogue systemas or containers that somebody bought a curry to work in and then was just like, I can't be effing taking that home and washing it, so they just leave it here.

And then the cleaner cleans it better than they probably could have cleaned it at home anyway and deposits it on the bench and then you just swoop in and grab one. So that's an option. Good idea. I'm amazed at the difference in size though. You've got some size 8s, you've got some size 6s. Yep, there's some loose cloackered chickens difference in size, though. You've got some size 8s. You've got some size 6s. Yep.

There's some loose cloacid chickens out in that paddock. I don't want to name names. Oh, my God, look at that little one Jared's got. That's like a bantam one. That's a tea egg. I'm not taking the little one. It's a standard-sized egg, but it's just that other one's a really big egg. I'd need two of those to count for one if I was making my four-egg omelette. That's egg math.

Yeah, that's egg math. That's definitely egg math right there. Good morning. Happy Friday, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Friday. Friday. You did have a couple of sick days, of course. I had a weekend in the middle of the week.

Yeah. I reckon there's something to that. Yeah, me too. We talking about doing that? What, just every day? the middle of the week. Yeah. I reckon there's something to that. Yeah, me too. We talk about doing that? What, just every day? Breaking up. Every week. A seven-day working week with a couple of days.

That would make Monday better because it's your Friday. It's already Thursday. I'd rather do like a long weekend every weekend. So you'd rather have three at the end than one off in the middle? I do Tuesday to Fridays or Tuesday to Wednesday. I do, yeah, I do Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm willing to work Tuesdays and Wednesdays. You're willing?

Thank you. This is how my contract negotiations go. Right, okay. And they're like, you don't even work here. And I'll be like, not yet, I don't. But I could be working for you Tuesdays and Wednesdays on a five-day wage. See how this is a good deal? Yeah.

This is why I've won someone with LinkedIn. Yeah. It's this kind of attitude. Always on the cusp of getting fired for being useless. I thought you were going to say always on the cusp of business innovation. That too. That too. Sure. The new Vaughan Smith two-day work week. Everyone's

getting fired for not going to work. Vaughan Smith ruined my life. Coming up on the show, the top six, and yesterday, TVNZ. In fact, you were at this, were you at this? Yeah. They announced all their new shows for 2021. Yes, and Popstars is back, baby. If you don't know what Popstars was,

it was the TV show that gave us True Bliss in 1999. And that was off the British one that gave us The Spice Girls. Is that right? Similar? Well, they ripped that off, didn't they? Wasn't it Bardo? No, it was Bardo in Australia, but they sold the idea to Australia because Bardo in Australia were after True Bliss.

But it was after the Spice Girls thing, but I think Spice Girls was a bit more behind the scenes. Was that televised, Spice Girls? No, I don't think so. Yeah, but kind of the same idea as they did a whole bunch of auditions and then a whole bunch of strangers got put in a band. Right, they ticked all the different boxes. What was the British one?

Liberty X. Yes. Just a little bit. Was that it? Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Was that it? Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

There was five of them. They all wanted to make a different noise. They wanted just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. That's exactly how that song went. That's how the Liberty X song went.

No, they weren't actually. The Spice Girls weren't a little bit. That's exactly how that song went. That's how the Liberty X song went. No, they weren't actually, the Spice Girls weren't a TV show. No, everyone just wanted to recreate that, though, afterwards. Yeah, so it was Popstars was the first one. Right. So maybe, yeah, they still own that, perhaps. Yeah, okay. So I've got the top six other TV shows that we would like to invite back to our screens

if we can bang a bit of a nostalgic dive back into the 1990s. Okay. And one of them, I honestly, number one, I honestly think it could be good. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, they finally listened to me. Who's they?

The government. Okay. Right. God, you sound like an old mate like finally finally bloody listen to me no do you remember when it was ages ago and I said

I think I said on air we might be able to find the audio could they test the poo it was one of those ones when we were talking about you know what it was after that TV show that I was watching on Netflix

called Connected and they did a thing about water and fecal, the fecal processing situation and how it's all linked and how crazy it is. Well, they can test water in cities, like wastewater, and see what drugs people are using. Which they do around New Zealand, but in the River Thames, in England, they can take a test and they're like,

oh, it was a big weekend three weekends ago for MDMA. And the most popular MDMA is this kind of MDMA. That's nuts. They can like narrow it down to, if they have a sample of the pill, they can identify how many of those pills, specific pills were taken, however long it. I know during one of the lockdowns, I think there was like, they did samples in wastewater in Auckland.

Yes. And they could see COVID. And I know in Australia, they did it only a month ago and they were like, oh, yeah, it's still in the community. So they can tell. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah. But then would it be coming from the COVID hotels? Well, that's what they said. There would be sewage sampled at managed isolation and quarantine facilities, as well as communities that don't have

facilities. And they'd be testing at major wastewater plants which some quarantine facilities would feed into. But how does a hotel have a... Say you went down to the Grand Mercure.

Can you just open up a lid? What do you mean downstairs? In this building? I don't know, we're not a hotel, but we're a pretty big building. Oh, in our building? Oh yeah, no I haven't. Downstairs where? I'll show you after the show.

Is there a poo processing thing? I came across it when I was being a nosy parker. Of course he wandered down. This building's got lots of like cupboards and, well, no, there's a pipe right literally above. You are so nosy. Literally above Rai Park, there's a pipe that says soil. Now I know that means poos.

Yep. But they can't write that on. Because if you soil an Uber, they're not meaning you're taking home some pot plants and you drop a bit of soil in the back seat. You've either pooed or you've spewed. So I like followed it. Like, where does this go?

And then there was this wall in the back of the toilet. I mean, the toilet's downstairs, which is always a bit feral. And I was like, oh, there's a door in here. So I went in the door, and there's just all this processing bit and this pump thing. And, yeah, you could totally – I'm imagining this big pump that I saw pumps it into the system, keeps the pressure going, and it goes out to pump thing. And yeah, you could totally, I'm imagining this big pump that I saw pumps it into the system, keeps the pressure going and it goes out to a thing.

But you could definitely like, there'd be- Pop a Q-tip in there. Yeah. Like a little put-in bud. There must be an area where you can like isolate it because if you opened it while it was pressurized, that would be poos on you. True. But there must be a little bit where you can stop it or turn it

off or isolate it or something. Do you think if they did this at the one o'clock briefing they'd tell us? Would they be like, guys who found some COVID in the local poo system? Or would they just keep it quiet and then ramp up testing and we'd be like, why are there so many more ads on?

Because that's like just saying it's in the community but we don't know where. And then I want to tell everyone that. No, I think New Zealand would. I think I'd like to know. I think they'd say if it was in a town, it's not, it's not, it's not. But for example. What?

Because that's one of the places they're going to be testing. Oh, okay. Without a managed isolation facility. Okay, right. Gisborne, Dunedin, Queenstown, Taupo and Whangarei are going to be tested. Yep. So I was just using Gisborne because it was the first on the list. Okay.

I think they would say, we've found a positive sample in Gisborne if you are showing any signs. And they might even say, isolate. Yeah, right. And we'll track it down. I think they would. Well, just to reiterate, they haven't found any in Gisborne. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.

Yeah, rolling out testing, which I guess is good. Oh, jeez. I found a't found any in Gisborne. No, absolutely not. Yeah, rolling out testing, which I guess is good. Oh, jeez, I found a few of those in Gisborne. People freaking out halfway through a smoke and they flushed in the toilet. All in the wastewater. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Some very important news about James Blunt. James Blunt? It's kind of just an excuse for you to play this.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Is he still really funny to follow on Twitter? He is a funny guy. He's very funny. That's what boosts this music for me. But this song, I'm going to quickly tell you, is about seeing a woman on a subway.

Yeah, because he said, we're smarter men on the subway. She was with another man. So that woman, apparently, who was on the subway, is now asking for royalties. She's written him a 50-page document saying he was stalking me. James Blunt was.

Yeah. Oh. She was with another man. She was with another man. She was with another man With another man With another man Cos I've got a plan I've got a plan Yep, he's got a plan.

It's great. So she's seen him, yeah, a 50-page document, accusing him of stalking her, insisting that she is entitled to a cut of the royalties. But she was in a public place, wasn't she? I know, but how can she prove that that was even her? You can't say,

I was on the subway with you back in the day and you were looking at me. But he's claiming it's the other way around and that she's stalking him. And I guess that could be true. But I don't know how she plans to prove this.

He's 46. Yeah. And he released this in 2004. My God. Is this a censored version? Yeah, it's a radio version. Where he says, I'm flying high in the actual version, he says, I'm effing high. Oh, I didn't know that.

Just as it got to that, everyone stopped talking. I was like, are we just purposely highlighting the swear word? But no, it was okay. Radio vision. Okay, so the woman in the US's Adamant the Song was written about her on the subway in 1984. Now, that would have made James Blunt 10. And he said, I haven't been to the United States.

Mind you, I was a creepy 10-year-old. I saw her on the subway, but she was with another man. I was really sad and I cried into my hands. He didn't go to the United States for the first time until 2002. Definitely not about her. So she's batshit crazy. Yeah, and she wants royalties. Until 2002. Oh. Definitely not about her. So she's batshit crazy. Yeah. And she wants royalties.

How much would you have made off this song? Do we have that figure? Ooh. Because this was huge at the time. It's been used in multiple properties, like movies and TV shows. It's one of those songs that still gets played all the time on adult radio. And have you got a...

Well, it's sold over $3 million in the US alone. He's got a net worth of $18 million. And I'd say like a chunk of that would be that song, right? A good chunk. Yeah, a good chunk. Every time they play the song on it, like you say, adult radio. Adult radio. This is for Julie, who's crying into her hanky.

She's just broken up with her long-time husband. She met him on a train too. And now he's with another man. Tough break, Jules. I'm glad that he's found... Well, he was lying to himself all along. I'm happy he's happy. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan all the time. I'm happy he's happy. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the exotic ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. The Top Six today, I'm just kind of stuck in one particular branch of the Top Six. The Top Six is the other TV shows we want back because Popstars is going to be back next year. It was the original talent show. Like we just read, the backstory was the producers sold this to people who later on... Simon Fuller from Idol.

Yeah, gave us Idol, which gave us Britain's Got Talent. And X Factor. And then there's X Factor. All of those situations came from pop stars. Crazy. And it all started here in New Zealand. So we can claim Kelly Clarkson. We will.

We have. Who made it here in New Zealand? And did they make a heck of a load of money? I know. It was just a producer that I don't know the name of. Jonathan. Yeah. Probably not.

Probably got ripped off. Probably. Yeah. Got real excited and was like, yeah, you can have it. Yeah. And we've said before that Liberty X was the British winners of Pop Sub, but they weren't someone correctly messaged in. Yeah.

So they were the rejects. They were the runners up. Oh, okay. It was actually Hearsay that won. Pure and Simple. Was that their song? Pure and Simple. Wow.

Didn't hit like Liberty X. Right. So they've also announced coming back, there'll be a new Bachelor. Yep. The Bachelor, The Bachelorette. Both of them. Yep.

There'll be Apprentice is coming back. Yep. A New Zealand version. So they'll need a new Donald Trump for that. So if you're a business person with nothing to hide from the IRD, put your hand up because this will be a big,

hey, why don't you Have a look at my taxes And make sure I've been Doing them properly To a government agency But I've got the top six Other TV shows We want back Number six

The Strip Do you remember The Strip Was that a police It was set in Wellington No it was set in Wellington And it was this woman And she got divorced And she bought a strip club

And it was Jodie Half On her in a strip club Jodie Rimmer That was great Jodie Rimmer was strip club. It was Jodie Halfoner and a strip club. Jodie Rimmer. That was great. Jodie Rimmer was her best friend. Oh, okay. Jodie Rimmer was in that. I just remember she was in that.

Robbie Magasiva spent a lot of the show with no top on. Okay. So you say it's time for that. In your mind, was the strip, was that police officers at strip in their spare time? Yeah. When you said it was a police show. That could be the new version. That's right.

Taika Waititi was in it. Was he? He is this, he's shirtless. He's the manager? What? Was he? He was a stripper. What?

He was. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Okay. Oh my God. We need to bring that up. Under his birth name, Taika Cohen. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Who else was in it? There are lots of people that you'd know now Yeah, under his birth name, Tyker Cohen, yeah. Wow, okay. Who else was in it? There are lots of people that you'd know now from Lake Shippen that have gone on to Shortland Street and Outrageous Fortune and everything, but yeah, it was all about a strip club. Just one for the ladies. And the men there? Yeah.

Some more topless gents on the telly. Number five on the list of the top six other TV shows we want back is the one that I can't get out of my head. Stars in Their Eyes. Because we were just joking about Stars in Their Eyes British and then we were like, didn't you say we're going to do Stars in Their Eyes? And then I've Googled it and yes, we did. And not even that long ago.

2008 was season one. Both seasons hosted by the ageless Simon Barnett. New Zealand's favourite vampire. Absolutely. So 2008 and 2009 was New Zealand stars in their eyes. I remember it being a bit terrible. Like, you know, because you grew up with the British one

and it was always so good. But I think it was because the British one was so much earlier. When you're younger, you have a lower bar. And it was amazing. They walked through that circle and then the magic smoke hit them

and then when they came out they looked like someone else. I know. But when you're a bit older you're like, oh okay, I understand how this works. The smoke machine

and then they cut and then they do all the makeup then they come back. But in your mind when you're a kid you're just like, they've just walked in and out. How did that happen?

I don't know if it worked these days. I just love when people are like, I look enough like Shakira. Shakira. Shakira. I'm going to be tonight. Tonight, Simon, I'm going to be Shakira.

It's like Sharon down the road. And then they walk out in a Shakira wig. Wherever, whenever, we're meant to be together. I'll be there and you'll be near. And that's the deal, my dear. Don't tell me you wouldn't watch that. You're always too scared to tell Sharon she sucks. You know, Shakira,

Sharon-y. But anyway, I could totally do another one. I probably wouldn't watch it, but I'd laugh. That's why anyone watches these. You know that famous thing about when people want TV shows back? They don't want to watch them. They just want them to know that they're there. Number four. This is actually just real. I think we could do with another series if we're bringing back TV shows of the Jackie Brown Diaries.

Oh, God, I loved that. That's right. She's like a mum now. Don't tell me there's not an endless amount of content there. That'd be great. You know how much I love Jackie Brown. Big fan of Jackie Brown. We're all big fans of Jackie Brown.

That was such a good show. She was five minutes late for an interview once, and to make it up, she bought a 12-pack of beers. No one else has ever done that. No one and no one has ever. Also, do we know that she didn't get those beers for free? I don't care. She gave them to us.

I just think that's great. If I bought everybody a pack of beers every time I was five minutes late for something, I'd be bankrupt. She's a good woman. Absolutely bankrupt. Broke. Number three on the list of the top six

other old New Zealand television shows we want brought back for 2021. Holmes. What a current affairs show that was. I can't see

any logistical issues. What? Apart from the fact he's dead. What? Yes. I thought he'd retired. No.

R.I.P. You worked with him back in the day, didn't you? I am. You know who I haven't heard from for a while, and this will all make sense now that he's dead? Yeah. Lady Debbie, his wife. Yeah, right.

She could front it. She's a Holmes. All we need is someone with the last name Holmes. My nan could do it. Marlene Holmes. Marlene Holmes. Should it get pretty loose? Like I'd be like, you can't say that nan! That's pretty much what the whole show would be. You might run it.

She'd need a censor beep. Not everyone thinks that nan. Hello. And just me standing behind the camera and be like, no, no. She opens the show, tonight we're talking immigration. I'd be like, um. Cut. She opens the show, tonight we're talking immigration. I'll be like, cut to ads. Let's tread lightly. Number two on the list

of the top six other New Zealand television shows we want back for 2021 are The Hot Seat. This was a Matthew Ridge hosted TV show where they sat on the seat and they had to keep

their pulse under. Oh, that's right. And they had heart numbers on it. And the more panics they got, the faster the clock went down. And the seat would heat up. So if you kept losing, it would actually burn you. Yes. And the dumber you were, the quicker you'd catch on fire.

And it was at that moment, people were like, oh, Mark, Alice and Matthew Ridge need each other. But you're a bitch. Gotcha. Because there's just one... Gotcha. Mark was doing the heavy lifting. Gotcha.

Uh-huh. And you're going to see Matthew Ridge on the street one day. I will get on my BMX and try to out BMX him on his BMX. And I'll be wearing a helmet. So we'll know who's going to last longer on their BMX. Riding down Busy Ponsonby Road. Is that because you saw him once on a BMX without a helmet? And no shirt.

It's the Ridgy. It's Auckland Folklore. Yeah, I know. But you know summer's going to be six weeks longer if you see Ridgy with no shirt on. Riding his BMX without a helmet. And number one on the list of the top six other New Zealand television shows we went back. And I'm actually serious about this. McDonald's Young Entertainers.

That was pretty good. Blow the dust off Gunny. He'd be keen as a bean, I reckon. He would be. He'd be keen as to get back on, even if it's not Gunny. Yeah. Oh, you know, you couldn't not do it without Gunny because he does a bit of singing. Maybe Gunny could be like, he could pass the baton.

No, Gunny's got to do it. You want him singing and dancing? Absolutely. He had a bloody heart attack a couple of years ago. He's right his way. He fell out the wheelie bin. Do we even have his permission?

Does he want to be involved? I don't. I'm sure he'd love to. He was trying to organise a reunion during lockdown. Oh, he's a good man. He's a good man. Not necessarily the same cast.

Yep. They might not want to. No one's seen Drew Mamie since 2016. No, but you need young. They need to be young. That was the thing. They need to be young. That's right.

And there's a whole bunch of very talented youngsters in New Zealand. Well, reach out to Gunny. He's a national treasure. Reach out and touch somebody's hand. Make the world a better place if you can. Didn't they sing that at the end of every episode? I thought that was what you were getting at there.

No? No. Reach out, you just stumbled across a beautiful out. What a broadcasting professional. Thank you. Born a ruggy young entertainer. No, absolutely not. I can't sing. And you don't like children. And you're not young. Yeah, you're bordering on like,

What's he doing in here? Ruthless. Is that? That's today's top six. Hello. Hi. Hello. Hello.

Yummy Yummy is a segment of the show where we look at new food items that are coming to New Zealand. But in this case, it's a return of a Kiwi summer favourite. Now, it was on the New Zealand subreddit that someone shared their back and forth with the Tip Top Consumer Care. Apparently, Tip Top Consumer Care at tiptop.co.nz, if you've got any queries. Okay, so this is a screenshot of their conversation.

Yes. So their initial email to tiptopconsumercare said, in capital letters, where's my effing tropical snow? Now, this is what they, I don't think I've ever had one of these. Are you joking? Nah. It's like a- Super refreshing.

Super refreshing. It's pineapple,... Super refreshing. Super refreshing. It's pineapple, mango and lemon with the strips going down. Oh, no, because I always do the fruit juice. That's the grapefruit one. It's not a fruit juice consistency. It's like snow. It's soft. It's soft.

Like sorbet kind of. It's like a... Right, okay. That's what I would always get because I remember it being like 80 calories. So that's maybe why at the end of it, I often wouldn't feel sufficiently ice blocked. Yeah, that's why you'd always buy three.

So I'd get two or three tropical snows. But they were yummy, like you say, those three different flavours and stuff. Right. So what did Tip Top reply? Well, to that eloquent email of where's my effing tropical snow? They said,

Hi, I couldn't compete to that eloquent email of where's my effing tropical snow, they said, hi, I couldn't compete with your eloquent email. So all I'm saying is date of purchase in a couple of weeks. What's the date on that? Well, this was posted two days ago. So great news.

We've done it 12 days. A couple of weeks is to be believed to be 14 days. So with summer, does that indicate the return of the tropical snow? So the week before summer.

While they're at it, they can do the Paradiso. I think it's a different company, Megan. No, it's Tip Top. Oh, is it? Yes. I thought it was streets.

Someone knows their ice creams. I would get in the way of a pregnant woman and her ice creams. Get your finger bitten off. Are you Googling? Tip Top Paradiso. Yeah, she's right.

So that is... That was passion fruit, like... Oh, yuck. It's passion fruit shell, and then... God, I'm in big ice cream money. And vanilla ice... Was it vanilla ice cream? God, that was good.

Yeah, it was premium vanilla ice cream topped with a soft tropical fruit sorbet. Ooh, okay. That was that. They must have updated the packaging. The thing I'm looking at is very 1990s. You wouldn't have got away with that. I mean, eating that in your hyper-coloured T-shirt,

you would have, but it needs an update with remarketing if it's going to get that happening. So, okay, bring back the Paradiso, but tropical snow sounds like it is inbound. Couple of weeks. It was all 81 calories of it. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Stats have been released about our crime but tropical snow sounds like is inbound. Couple of weeks. All 81 calories of it.

Stats have been released about our crime in our country. Yeah. What areas have the highest crime or what areas have the lowest crime rates? Now this is per 10,000 people per month. So it's like based on per capita because otherwise your big cities would probably win, wouldn't they? Yes.

Yeah. Just purely because there would be more crime just because of a higher population. Sure. I get what you're saying. Yeah. So it's per person per month. Okay.

I'll just do the top five. This is the lowest. So number one on this list is the place to be if you don't like crime. Who likes crime? Also the top five places where I'm imagining not too much happens. Okay. Number five, Waimate.

Just out of Tamaru there. That area, 17 crimes per 10,000 people. Wow. See, I reckon this is, you know, you laughed before, but there are people that don't lock their doors that live in places like these, because you just go out and nothing ever happens. You know everyone.

Sometimes they don't even shut the door. Growing up rurally, sometimes you go to someone's house and the ranch light will be open. You'll be like, hello? No one is home. The ranch light was open so the cat could get out. Right. Why not get a cat door?

Well, you have to get the glazier in. Number four, the McKenzie District, 15.8 crimes per 10,000 per month. Southland is at number three at 15.1 crimes. Central Otago, 13 crimes. I would have thought more in Central Otago. I don't know why. Holiday homes? I always think that that'd be an easy target, right?

And there's quite a few holiday homes in Central Otago. I'm not saying go out and rob holiday homes. I'm just saying if I was a criminal, I'd target holiday homes. But I'm not a criminal. I don't target holiday homes. Leave me alone. I've done nothing wrong. Are you arresting me or am I free to go?

And the Selwyn District, 12.7 crimes per 10,000 per month. Right. So those are the five best spots in New Zealand. Yeah. Five worst spots. Okay. Topol, 50.4 crimes per 10,000 per month. Really?

So that's, what's 12, 412s. Let's just settle on about four times as bad as Selwyn. Wow. Which is our safest. Hamilton is at 53.5 crimes. That's number four on the list. So my mate who lives in Hamilton, who was telling me he hasn't locked his door for five years,

probably start. Probably start locking your door. He lives in Hamilton and doesn't lock his door. Yeah. Ever. He said he hadn't. We were talking about it the other day. He's like, you would never lock your doors out here, eh?

Because we love it. Like, see you rural. I'm like, yeah, all the time. He's like, oh, really? I don't even lock my door for like five years. What do you tell insurance when they're trying to find the point of entry for your burglary? They picked their way through my lock. Have you seen the movies?

It's easy peasy. Number three, Palmerston North, 54.4 crimes. That's all the vet students. Yeah. Vet students, horrific criminals. Number two, Napier, 59.7 crimes per 10,000 per month. And number one,

Rotorua, 61.2 crimes. Wait, so all the ones on the safest list are in South Island and all the ones on the naughty list are in the North Island. Is that correct? Yeah, that is correct, Megan. Well done. In fact, if you look at the top eight highest crime rates in New Zealand, all Well done. In fact, if you look at the top eight highest crime rates

in New Zealand, all of them. Oh, no. So Carditon is the only North Island representative in the top eight areas that have hit the safest. Carditon, other than that. But those are also on the safest list where very few people live and it's more rural. Yes.

Yeah. But that's also because you're not going to attempt to rob someone's farm because they'll's more rural. Yes. Yeah. But that's also because you're not going to attempt to rob someone's farm because they'll come out with a shotgun. Yeah. What are you trying to take off with their tractor? And that tractor's famously slow. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Ah, end of year. It's the end of the school year. I know, this is confusing. Doesn't it feel literally, I was trying to think of something, I was like, oh, that was July. No, it can't have been.

It was only a couple of weeks ago. I was like, no, it's literally got July in the title and then I was like, huh, where's this four months evaporated to?

What's the 6th of November today? Yeah. I know, the year's coming. It was the first yesterday. And then like three, so like just over seven weeks left in the year,

in the whole year. Yeah. And what, a few till Christmas. Yeah. That's nuts. So the school year is coming to an end. And as they do, the end of year pranks are happening. Some schools, I don't know how you'd best control it if you're in charge of a school.

Be like, they can all, yes, they can happen. They can happen in this time period. Like this afternoon, there's going to be no classes. You guys just go ham. But anything outside of that is going to have serious repercussions. If I was a principal, I'd lay down the law in October. I'd walk out onto school assembly while everyone was silent. Whip your pants down.

No. Show them who's boss. No, I was going to say whip out a shotgun. Oh, good, that's better. Just and fire into the ceiling. And then everyone will be like, whoa. And everyone will go quiet. And I'll be like, that's what happens if you prank.

And then someone stands up. Don't do that. Someone stands up and they're like, I don't believe you. And you put like a into their chest, but it's a plant. And make it hit in the chest. Yes. And the blood pack explodes. Yes. And all the kids think the chest. Yes, and the blood pack explodes. Yes.

And all the kids think you've shot a student, but you haven't. And you say, look, that's what will happen if you prank at the end of the year. Because he definitely won't get in trouble for that. And then that's your school prank. And that's your school prank. You prank them, you out-prank the pranksters.

But our principal used to always say that. Be like, don't do a prank. And everyone's like, yeah, okay. That was like principals have been like, don't have an afterball. They have to have been like, don't have an afterball. They have to be on record saying don't have an afterball. So when the afterball goes badly, and they do, they've got deny. They can deny.

But over the years, there have been some infamous pranks. So there's been weed killer in fields to make a big dick and balls. Which I'm not for. As a grass loving lawn man. That hurts me. Also, a waste of time doing a weed killer into a field if Google aren't satellite photo imaging that week. Yeah.

You best to wait till they are so it's there forever. I wouldn't encourage it. No. What was the one with nude students on motorcycles a few years ago? Marlborough Boys, Marlborough Girls. Yeah, Marlborough Boys and Girls do epic ones. Not that we're encouraging that either every year.

They're well known. There was someone nude backwards on the back of a scooter. But then there was a crash and someone got hurt which is why it was in the news. The scrotum hit the exhaust pipe.

It was ouch. Oh, the smell. Horrific injury. Because that's the smell of burning hair and burning skin. So that's like, that's a double whammy of stinky fire.

But anyway, I was at Christchurch Boys, the other first school this year to break the seal on the headlines that are with the end of year school pranks. There was a group of year 13 students. I'll read this as it's written in the story. Christchurch Boys High School Principal Nick Hill said the group of year 13 students chased in through water balloons and eggs at two year 11 students just before 1pm on Wednesday. One of the boys was chased onto Stravan Road

outside the school where a ute drove over the top of his foot. The other student was pelted with eggs. Both students were shaken up. See, this may sound, does that sound to you like a ute was just driving by and this kid was frantically trying to get the hell out of the way and he was like, ah, and stop. But the ute ran over his foot. Yeah.

Ouch. But that's inches away from being a completely different story. Yeah. But that's also not a very pranky prank. That's just like bullying and chasing after someone and... Yeah, there's nothing smart or clever about it. Do you remember that? Was it in Auckland High School they did a fake letter

and put it on the notice board? What was that one? Avondale. Avondale, what was it? And they did the fake letter about... That was good. Yeah. And they put it on the letterhead and everything.

And it was clever. Yeah. I mean, it was naughty. We shouldn't be encouraging it. No, no, good. Yeah. And they put it on the letterhead and everything. And it was clever. Yeah. I mean, it was naughty. We shouldn't be encouraging it. No, no, no. It was naughty. But I remember it being a little bit more clever

than say like the eggs egging and waterbombing and chasing and looking to physically assault someone. Full body inspections was the hoax letter. That's right.

No, I thought it was like have a day off or something. No, it was before. It was. Before entering right. No, I thought it was like, have a day off or something. No, it was that. It was. Before entering their exams, they needed a full body inspection. Because they were worried about people cheating. That's right.

See, that's funny. That's good. It's supposed to be a prank on the collective rather than like bullying people. End of year high school pranks, what we're talking about this morning, off the back of one making headlines, not a clever one,

not anything more than bullying by the sounds of things at Christchurch Boys. Yeah. Egging and chasing someone to the point where they nearly got hit by a car. Doesn't like ring of one that will live throughout the ages is, you know, an Einstein level thought out prank, does it? So we want to know the better ones, the ones that I don't really want to hear of anyone getting hurt. No, because it's a prank.

It's supposed to be a bit of a joke. Yeah. No one gets hurt. Someone also said, just to let you know, as someone who's looked after a damage to school field, can cost your school between $20,000 and $50,000 to rectify that little situation. Oh, okay.

Okay, that's not good. Especially if you get the cricket pitch. And then next year, the students will be like, oh, these computers are running Windows 95. That'll be why. Well, we had to use the upgrade money on the grass.

Yeah. And you can all get sunburned because we can't afford that shade sale anymore. Olivia, what was your infamous end of year high school prank? So my mum's actually the principal at a high school. I always hear about the year 13 prank.

Is mum quite stressed at the moment? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Literally. She's had the whole assembly about don't do it, blah, blah, blah. Does mum drink a lot? Oh, when it's school prank season, yeah. She's on a steady diet of Chardonnay.

Yeah. All right, so what have some of the big ones been over the years? There was actually one of the worst ones was when I was a student there myself. And the Year 13s, or like a group of Year 13s pranked the school pretty hard. They put marmite on all the door handles. They TP'd the trees. They also, this was the one that was like the hardest thing to get out, was they used paint powder just like everywhere.

Paint powder? Yeah. So that's destructive, isn't it? That's really, yeah. I like the Marmite because you can wipe that off.

Yeah, and it's yum. I mean, I probably wouldn't put it on door handles. Yeah, wow. Okay, Olivia, thanks for your call. Chris, what was the

infamous end of year high school prank? Hey, good morning. I'm from New York City and I had, back when I was 16, the seniors, I went to an all boys school

and there were three pigs that were released in the school. So they had spray paint on their backs and they were numbered one, two and four. Obviously, there's only three pigs. Oh my God,

that's amazing. Oh, that is genius. I thought it was. Genius. That was amazing. I mean, they let them loose in the school. And, you know, the school had to go on. The day had to go through.

And the students went to class. And the administration was going absolutely nuts trying to find these things. So they found number one. They found number two. And eventually found number four. And they still couldn't find number three. I mean, it took them the entire day to figure it out and, you know, eventually made the local news and everything.

I was so flabbergasted. And is this in New York City, like Manhattan? So the New York City metro area. So I probably just outside the area, yeah. Still though. Still though. Pigs at school. One of the biggest cities in the world.

I bet you in New York right now wish their biggest problem was three pigs. Yeah, that's true. Chris, thanks. You're cool. Div, what was the end of year high school prank? Hey, guys. Pretty much we had a school pool and we were like, what's the best way to not actually get anyone hurt?

But we put foam mattresses in the pool and it literally sucked up all of the water in the pool and they had to get cranes to like get the mattresses out because they're so heavy. I was like,

at the start I was like, I tried lifting a wet mattress and you're like, I'll be able to get this. Yeah, we'll be able to get them out and holy moly, they're heavy

once they're full of water. And there's no, like, you can't pick them up. There's no structure to them. Yeah. There's nowhere good to grab a mattress

Yeah because it's flimsy And it's Oh my Oh that's Brilliant I can't believe they sucked up All the water in there Literally it took

Maybe like Only like four or five Of those like Warehouse like mattresses To like suck up the whole pool Which is oh so funny Oh my god That's brilliant

It probably cost the school A bit of money Yeah I know I know with the crane and all. Have we stumbled across a way to clean up oil spills in the ocean? Yeah, perhaps. Perhaps it's a cheeky warehouse mattress. But then wouldn't those sink to the bottom of the ocean?

You can't see them. I mean, look, the price we have to pay. The price we have to pay. Are you saying cranes? We'll chuck a crane on a boat. Yeah, right. Okay. Soak up the oil and away we go. All right, thanks. Well, you said cranes. We'll chuck a crane on a boat. Yeah, right. Okay.

Soak up the oil and away we go. All right, thanks. You could give some text messages. Yeah, lots of ones that are costing schools thousands of dollars of damages and a principal that's asked us not to give any of his ratbags any ideas. Yeah. But someone said, wow, all the year 13 synced up their alarms to go off because it was all on, I'm guessing, on phones and watches that get their time from the internet, so everybody synced up

at exactly the same time. So in the middle of the principal's speech, which was going for too long, everybody's alarms went off and everyone made the agreement that no one was going to pretend it was happening and just keep looking at the principal. Oh, wow. That's good. See, that's good. It's not bullying anyone. It's not costing them money.

It's not. It's a little bit of disruption. And in a school hall, that would just echo. I know. I reckon that's my favourite. You're only as strong as your weakest link by the minute that first person turns it off. That's so good. There's one that would freely say, don't try, but.

Oh, you can't do the winky noise. I can't do the winky noise, no. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, I don't know about you guys, but when I think of laughing, I think, man, while I'm laughing, I wish my mouth was full of mayonnaise. And it's that sort of buy-in that means Best Foods is again sponsoring a comedy gala, but due to COVID and that whole comedy gala being pushed, it is now the Best Foods Christmas Comedy Gala.

And it is happening in Auckland this Saturday, tomorrow night, the 7th of November, and Wellington at the Opera House on Monday the 9th of November. Tickets on sale now. Yeah, you can go to comedyfestival.co.nz. Big lineup. Yeah, you've got the Top Twins,

which everybody's just been like, holy moly, in studio. Megan was saying one of them's a volunteer. One of them's a volunteer firefighter. I can't remember if it was Jules or Linda. Could you mention that? You'd ask for a yodel if your house was on fire. Would you ask for a yodel?

I would replace some spoons. I rescued this banjo. Any chance of a song while my house and belongings burn to the ground? They'd probably do that for you. Also performing, Mel Bracewell, Ben Hurley, Justine Smith, Eli Mathewson, The Fan Brigade, Melanie Bracewell, and who I said twice now, sometimes people deserve two mentions.

And Hayley Sproul, who joins us in studio. Hello. That was the most wound up introduction. I know. I'm not headlining. I'm sort of right in the middle, I reckon. And Mel Bracewell. Did you say Mel Bracewell twice because you forgot that we were actually different people? I was going to. I'm sort of right in the middle I reckon. And Mel Bracewell. Did you say Mel Bracewell twice

because you forgot that we were actually different people? I was going to. I actually said to somebody yesterday, we caught up yesterday and I said to someone, I was just walking here with Mel and I was like, I don't walk here with Mel. Far out. That was hailing. How many years is this going to haunt me? We're different

people. Very different people. Tall though. Can't deny that. Both tall and woman. That's where the similarities end. If it was a game against who I'd be out. Yeah. Are you a tall woman? Well you must be Mel Braxwell. So this is everybody pretty much

on the card that was going to be performing at the Comedy Gala for the Comedy Festival earlier in the year. Yeah. Well I swept in actually because I wasn't going to be performing at the Comedy Gala for the Comedy Festival earlier in the year. Yeah. Well, I swept in, actually, because I wasn't going to be doing a Comedy Fest show. And then when it moved to a Christmas Gala, I was like, well,

I've got all this Christmas content just brimming out of me. I'm a festive performer. I'll be there. I am. I perform once a year and it's just around the Christmas period. That's it. I only do Christmas content now, strictly.

Have you met the top twins before? I haven't and I'm quite nervous. They're a big deal. Yeah. New Zealand comedy royalty. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's lots of royalty on this line-up. Mel Bracewell, Melanie Bracewell.

Yep. Em Bracewell, whoever that is. Ma Bracewell. But no, I haven't met them and I'm excited to. Do you know what? It's quite a, I don't know how many I'm excited to do you know what it's quite a I don't know how many people are in the line up all together quite a few

yeah there's a big list big list but four of them Mabracel's on the list twice and four of the the people performing

are musically based myself included but we've all got a bit of a difference so there's the top twins yeah they do their yodelling jokes and oh my god that sounded so disrespectful it. But we've all got a bit of a difference. So there's the top twins. They do their yodelling jokes

and Oh my god, that sounded so disrespectful. I love them. But then you've got fan brigade and they do their different thing and then you've got two hearts and you've got me. So it's very musically based. Right. What do you musically play? Keyboard?

You're clearly not a musician. You're the little tinkle fingers there. I've got these long piano playing fingers. I am. I'm playing. They're clearly not a musician. You're the little tinkle fingers there. Look at these long piano playing fingers. I am. I'm playing. They're very long. I'm playing the piano and I'm singing a song about Christmas. Christmas content. How timely. Great. It is timely.

I'm doing a gig at the Classic tonight and I'm going to warm the song up and I feel like, what's the date? November 6th. I feel like it's too early. I feel like the audience might be a bit confused. You should have talked to farmers about that. Oh, yeah. They love jumping on the Christmas bandwagon nice and early.

Well, it's 48 days till Christmas. So you don't need to feel too early. But 48 days till Christmas, it's not even in the song yet. Do you know what I mean? The 12 days of Christmas. I've seen the 12 days of Christmas four times. What's the 48th day of Christmas? What did your Christmas four times. What's the 48th day of Christmas? What did your true love give to you on the 48th day of Christmas?

A reminder to take the bins out. Yeah. Hot. Hot. Hot content. Hot content. So tomorrow night in Auckland and then Wellington, a Monday night?

Are people... Monday night. People want a mouthful of mayonnaise to watch their comedy on Monday night? Yeah, I think it's the only day you want a mouthful of mayonnaise to watch their comedy on Monday night? Yeah, I think it's the only day you want a mouthful of mayonnaise. Monday. Mayonnaise Mondays. I think Monday's the new Saturday in Wellington.

I'm a Wellingtonian. Hipsters, eh? Yeah. Couple of long blacks at 7 o'clock at night. Always bucking the trend. Yeah. I drink my coffee when I'm about to go to bed. I'm from Wellington.

Fizz it on a kombucha. And watching some comedy with a mouthful of mayonnaise. Yeah, it's going to be so fun. There's so many great people on it and I'm just one of them. And we need a laugh don't we after this year? We do. I feel like after such a rubbish year what we need is comedy and mayonnaise.

You know? Well it's come together. The Best Foods Christmas Comedy Gala tomorrow night in Auckland at the Civic, the Opera House in Wellington, on Monday night, comedyfestival.co.nz for tickets. Still available? Yeah, I would like to thank Mel Bracewell for coming in.

Hayley was here too. Mel didn't even say anything, but God, the star of the show, you'd say. The presence. All right, thanks, Mel. Oh, my God. And also thanks, Hayley. Yeah. Alright, thanks Mel Oh my god And also thanks Hayley Yeah

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 48 days, 16 hours and 16 minutes Until Christmas And it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas The segment of the

show where we take a look at Christmas penetration. We've done this for quite a few years now. Because of COVID it's kind of thrown off the Christmas penetration normally. It's a lot more by this time of year. Yeah, it is. And you'd say the phrase Christmas penetration

synonymous with it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The segment, surely. That was a bad start. I'm going to say the segment. That was a bad start. I wanted to sound like a lawyer. Which we've been doing for a long time. Well, imagine my frustration when I've

been sent from multiple people the following email. A EDM, electronic direct mail. Okay. Mail out from none other than Burger Fuel without promoting their Santa's Boars pork burger. With the following introductory paragraph. Goodness.

Christmas paraphernalia penetration is currently at a solid 64%. So we thought we should get it on the action ASAP. And there's other stuff. Excuse me. You don't own the word penetration. Or Christmas. That whole sentence is what we say. Christmas penetration is currently at, and we give it a percentage.

Are you just trying to get a free burger or something? Burgers will not cut it. That was the singular. Right, okay. It shan't cut it. And this won't be the last you're hearing from me. Right. What are you going to do?

Are you lawyering up? I'm lawyering up. Old Trump over here. Get the lawyers in. Stop counting. But keep counting. But stop counting. Okay?

Yeah. I'll wait to hear from them. Okay. So what did they say? 64%. What was our last penetration percentage? It was 68%, but prior to that, it was 63%. Right, okay.

So they're right in our wheelhouse. Yeah, they're right up in my wheelhouse. Get out of our wheelhouse. Yeah, they're right up in my wheelhouse. Get out of my wheelhouse. I didn't give you permission to get in my wheelhouse. Okay. Elsewhere, though, where Christmas penetration is happening, Hayley has reported it's all on at Chartwell. She's written Chartwell Mall, but it's Chartwell Square, I think.

They've always called it Chartwell Square. Okay. She said written Chartwell Mall, but it's Chartwell Square, I think. They've always called it Chartwell Square. Okay. She said Chartwell Mall. My first girlfriend worked at Muffin Break in Chartwell Square. Did you get a free muffin? You bloody bitch. And I think I was, yeah, I was 16 and I was like, she's like, do you want a hot drink? And I think I wanted to seem quite mature.

Yeah. So I was like, yeah, I, do you want a hot drink? And I think I wanted to seem quite mature. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, I'll have a coffee. It sucks then, I was like. It wasn't supposed to stink. It was like drinking a cigarette, I remember it. And now look at me go as he tucks into his third. Macona for the day. Nothing but hot water and black coffee mix of the day.

Sweet taste of amber. Okay. That was her name. It wasn't. She didn't taste like coffee. I never. We were young. Nothing like that.

Anyway, I dig my way out of this hole by taking us to Palmerston North where Avril, not Levine Okay I bet she hears that all the time has said that Christmas decorations are up at the Plaza in Palmerston North So that's another report of a mall type setting where Christmas penetration is happening How old is Avril though?

Because if she's like 18 or 19 she'd totally be named after Avril Lavigne. Nah, you're older. Oh, okay. Older than that. She'd be, yeah, gutted that. Not old. I'm not saying Avril's like old.

Oh, but you're just saying that, yeah, she would have been named before the singer. Yes, I believe so. And spelled differently. Oh, right, okay. But then people will often do that if they're named after someone famous, won't they? They'll change the spelling so there's a denial.

And that's a smart thing to do because you don't know what that person's doing. They could get cancelled. Yeah. Like you might have called your kid Bill Cosby. Horrible.

I hope you spelled it B-Y-L-L. Bill. Because now you've got deniability. Deniability. Just. Deniability. Just stumbled across that one. Happy it happened, though. And many other reports of Christmas penetration coming in. After we talked about Christmas music,

I remember Earl got in touch and said Christmas music in the mall. Someone said, oh, Earl's just there, are they? Like they're some sort of, although I didn't get their report of Christmas music beforehand because they said they've been experiencing awful Christmas music at work for two weeks now. Oh, wow. Okay.

Okay, so 48 days away from Christmas and with all that in mind. Donner and Blitzen start stretching those legs. Christmas penetration is at... 82%. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas If you see a report of Christmas creeping in Send it to us on our Facebook page FVMZM

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast Coming up it's my pick for Friday Flashback This started when Vaughan was strumming in the guitar this week And you struck the What do you call it? The first strum Yes

Was like I strummed it The start of the song And I said What do you call it, the first strum? Yes. Was like the start of the song. And I said, what do you think that sounded like? And Fletch knew exactly what song I was talking about. Could you do it now on the guitar? Yep. I've just been handed the guitar. Yeah.

No, that was kind of it. That's your ZD, so you don't hit the top two strings, do you? Okay, so that's a clue, and it's a one-hit wonder from 1995 and it's a sing-along. Megan thinks it's the crappiest song ever released. It's a terrible song. But Vaughn and I had a jam to it and we're very excited to play this for Friday Flashback soon.

But now... Okay, shush, please. That was a subtle way of saying put the guitar down. Do you guys know Wonderwall? No. Good, because I don't. Yeah, it doesn't sound like that. The Ice Cream Awards, the New Zealand Ice Cream Awards have happened.

Okay. We know now what is the supreme winner. There is actually two kind of winners. Okay. So they have the Supreme Champion Award, and then they have the Boutique Champion. So that's all your favorite. Your ooh-la-la flavors. Expensive ones.

This isn't gelato, eh? Because if I could choose rolled ice cream or gelato, I'd go gelato. Get out. Get out of my

face with this anti-cream propaganda. So earlier they tasted 316 different products. So that's gelato, sorbets, ice creams and dairy-free

desserts. Okay. They whittled it down to 17. Dairy-free desserts? What's that? Apple crumbles in the mix? Did you just say whittled it down? Yeah, is that what you say?

Oh, whittled. Whittled is when you did a whittle. Oh, I just got back. Oh, I whittled over there. The joke is whittled it down. It's a soft tea. Whittled. Maybe not a whittled on the ice cream.

And then, yeah, they went up against each other. Right. So you want the champion, overall champion? And it better not be vanilla. It is. And we've sung the praises of this brand before. Much more's awesome vanilla ice cream. Come on, people.

No, because vanilla goes with other things as well as playing its own role with sprinkles. Now, are they the company that does the Goody Goody Gumdrops? Yes, that you like. They call it something different. I'm going to go out there and say they're Goody Lolly Gumdrops or whatever they call it. I reckon it's better than the Tip Top Goody Gumdrops.

You've said that before, eh? Because the lollies are bigger and more lollies. Right. I like their, they do a few versions of the four flavours in one tub. Oh yeah. Not to be stripped Neapolitan. I'm talking like they go

They do cookies and cream. Corners, yeah. And there's like a Goody gum drops. Maple and walnut or something. Really? And that one. Yeah, it's good.

And it is, it's good. That's a great four flavours. Okay, so they've won for vanilla. Yeah. Boo. The winners have perfected aspects of their product from ingredients, recipes

down to packaging and freezing. Okay. Then in the boutique awards, these are the fancy ones that come in those smaller little tubs that are real spinnies. Sometimes you're just like, you need one of those. You're just like, I'm going to splash out. And you eat the whole thing.

Yeah. Yeah. And at the start, it's really hard. You hit it with a teaspoon and you're like, oh, you're going to be a challenge. And then it softens up and by the end you're like. Yeah. By the time your tears and your warm lap have warmed the ice cream, it's really soft to eat. Yeah, my hot crotch is always

the first thing to do. Why do you have a warm lap? Your tears and your warm lap. I sit on my ice cream like it's an egg and I'm a duck. Oh my god. Let me warm your ice cream to a point of being able to pop a spoon straight in. My tears and my warm laugh. Come let me defrost that cold heart with my fire crotch and my tears. So the boutique champion was awarded to Lewis Road Creamery and the flavour Double Mint and Dark Chocolate. Oh, yes.

I like a mint and chocolate. Like an orange chocolate. Chips, also a great flavour. But do they do like flaky chocolate? It's not like those cooking chips. It's shaved. It's shaved through, isn't it? Shaved.

I don't know if that was your job, shaving chocolate. Speaking of shaved, my hot crotch would. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Friday Flashback. All right, it's my pick for Friday Flashback. This actually started, you were away sick this week, Megan, for a couple of days, and Vaughan had the guitar in here.

And you did one chord, Vaughan. I did one chord, but I had it with such ferocity that I was like. And it sounded exactly like the song. Yeah, it was like that. And we both started singing the song. And this song is from 1994 slash 5. It was big around the world in a lot of countries. It was number one.

It reached number one in Scotland, the UK singles charts. It was in the US number three. In most countries, it made it into the top five. In New Zealand, you would say maybe we had better taste. It only reached 21 on the top 50 singles charts. This is the band's only single. Is it really? They are certified one-hit wonders.

This song has been in a few music lists, though. It did make it into some 50 most awesomely bad songs ever. At number six, according to VH1

and Blender magazine. It was also called the second worst song to come out of Texas after Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby, also a one-hit wonder. So it's not glowing. It's not glowing, but I'll tell you what, it is a sing-along. Now, the title to the song has the word breakfast in it. And one of the singers, people in the band

said that because radio stations obviously wanted to do some publicity they liked the idea that there was the word breakfast and so they'd always get them in very early at 6 o'clock into radio stations and wonder why they weren't keen to be there because they'd been playing gigs until 3 o'clock in the morning.

Radio. Nothing changes. No'clock in the morning. Radio. Nothing changes. No. Also, in the genre, it's classed as jangle pop. Jangle pop. Jangle pop. It's been on heaps of TV shows. Yeah.

I mean, everybody knows the song, and it's your Friday flashback today, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Don't do that, please. You'll ruin the song. No, no. Deep blue sub things. Enjoy it. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Don't do that, please. You'll ruin the song. No, no. Deep blue sub things. Enjoy it.

See you then. See you. We've got nothing in common. No common ground to start from. And we're falling apart. You'll say the world has come between us Our lives have come

between us Still I know you just don't care And I said what about breakfast at Tiffany's? She said, I think I remember the film As I recall, I think we both kind of liked it And I said, well, that's the one thing we got I see you

The only one who knew me But now your eyes see through me I guess I was wrong So what now? It's plain to see we're over. And I hate when things are over. So much is left undone. And I said, what about breakfast at Tiffany's?

She said, I think I remember the film and it's I recall I think we both kinda liked it And I said, well that's the one thing we got They say that we've got nothing in common No common ground to start from And we're falling apart You'll say the world has come between us Our lives have come Between us

Still I know you Just don't care And I said What about breakfast At Tiffany's? She said I think I remember The film I Desire to call my thing

We both kinda liked it And I said, well that's The one thing we got And I said, what about breakfast at Tiffany's? She said, I think I remember the film And as I recall, I think we both kind of liked it And I said, well, that's the one thing we got And I said, what about breakfast at Tiffany's?

She said, I think I remember the film. And I said, it's Oracle, I think. But can I like it? And I said, well, that's the one thing we got. It's your Friday flashback today. Deep Blue Something, Breakfast at Tiffany's. And do you know what? I know there's some hate on the text machine, Megan.

And I know Megan for a fact absolutely hates this song. Someone was like, and Megan gets ripped for bad Friday flashbacks. It's baseless, tasteless hate. That made Vaughn and I so happy the other day And you know what, that's the main thing When we played that, yeah we were happy You were having a good time Exactly

Banger, my child was trying to sleep But I was not going to miss an opportunity to belt this out What a thing to wake up to, mum screaming that song I hate this song so much I can't help but sing along I worked at Tiffany's restaurant in 1995. Oh, my God. That would have hurt it.

I got all excited when you played the first chord. I thought it was going to be Tenacious D, but instead I had to mute my radio for approximately three minutes. We've played that song. You're not wrong. That's a great song. Shada and I sung that very loud from start to end with the children in the car, and they were like, I don't get it.

Some things are just for mum and dad. That's what I said. Am I a bad person? It's time for Am I a Bad Person? We need you to get your judgy pants on. Oh, and I think the nation will with this one. Okay.

So here is the anonymous and you'll see why email. Hey guys about 18 months ago I started seeing my boyfriend and about 6 months ago we moved in together. He is a bit older than me and has 3 kids. I am so in love

with him but I am really struggling with his kids. Okay. They're rude they say really mean things to me and frustratingly are angels when he's around. He has them... Oh, set a trap. I'd love to do this.

You know, you see this on a movie every now and then, but it's the opposite way around. The step-mum's real nice when the step-dad's around, but then when he's not, she's a monster. And the kids, like, set a trap. Set a trap. He has them every weekend, and we both work Monday to Friday. He can't see them during the week as they go to school in a different town.

But seeing them every single weekend is driving me nuts. Am I a bad person? This question, everyone's going to say yes to, but the whole scenario, we need we need to like help them out. Okay. Am I a bad person if I ask him to scale back how much he sees them? What, like say every second weekend or something or once a month? Yeah.

I mean, you can't ask a dad to scale back how much they see their kids. No, because a dad's not going to want to do that. But that is not a fun situation. Good luck with that. You've got to try and address the situation with the kids, surely. And make them like you. But, like, as soon as you tell someone that their kids aren't nice, that's not going to go down well either.

Hey, sweetheart, your kids are really evil. They're monsters. You're raising monsters And then like If you do this Set a trap Do you mean like Film them or something

Yeah Yeah but I don't think That's gonna go down well Just put your phone up Or a GoPro Yeah Hidden camera stuff And then be like

You'll never guess What your kids did to me today And they'll be like Daddy we didn't do that Daddy no way We're angels daddy I'd be like Please Daddy, we didn't do that, Daddy. No way. We're angels, Daddy. I'd be like, please address the television.

Share screen. Play. Oh, yeah, that'd be so good. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what the answer is to that one. Because, yeah, I mean, they're his kids. And we're trying.

But she really, she loves him. Like, they've been together 18 months. Yeah. She's into him, just not the kids. Wow. Okay, this is quite a predicament. Yeah. I'm sure there's other people that have been in this situation.

How do you navigate around that? You're just going to have to be open and have a conversation, right? But you can't. She can't give the ultimatum of the me or the kids because he's never going to choose her. Is he? No, that's never going to choose her. Is he? No, that's not going to work. Say your kids less, please, because I don't like them.

But it might work after you've set a trap. Yes. You're all about this trap. So Vaughan's all about setting a trap. I'm all about exposing them. Megan's about talking. Okay. All right, well, we're-

And Fletch is about- I'd just probably find a new relationship. 0800 dials at M9696. What should she do? Is she a bad person? She doesn't like seeing his kids every weekend because they're mean to her. Have you been in this situation?

Any tips? Just feel free to weigh in. Am I a bad person? Recap. So recap, Megan. We'll recap. They've been together 18 months. And six months ago, they moved in together.

Now, he is older than her. He has three kids. They're really in love, but she's struggling with the kids. So they work all week, and then they had the kids at the weekend. And she wants to know if she's a bad person, asking him to scale back how much she sees them. So they're like perfect around the dad, but when it's just her around the kids, they hate her.

Yeah. Do you reckon mum's in their ear? Oi. I hope not. Mum's like, if you can make her cry, I'll take you to McDonald's. Oh, my God. No one does that. Yes, they do.

So, Vaughn, you mentioned maybe setting a trap. Yeah. Like get the kids on video being shitbags. Yes. I have changed tack slightly because someone said that adds a lot of dishonesty to the situation. And I thought, no, that's fair enough. So say to him first maybe. Yeah.

Hey, your kids are C-bombs. Maybe don't use the C-bomb. I don't know how casual you are with your language. You could say they're acting up. That's a nice way of putting it. Yes. And then if he's like, oh, I don't believe it, you could be like, okay, I think we set a trap.

And then he's in on the trap. Yes. Perfect. Well, what do you think? Anonymous, is she a bad person? Oh, totally. Okay. Have you experienced this situation? I have. Anonymous, is she a bad person? Oh, totally. Okay, have you experienced this situation?

I have. I was dating someone for three years that had a daughter who was very, very similar. And there is no way on the face of the earth do you ever ask a father to reduce the time they have with their kids. I mean, she's extremely lucky that that father is a doting father and wants to spend time with his kids.

Yeah. I mean, that's something that blended families should actually treasure. Yeah. But then I want to know how long she's spending because she's saying when she's alone with these kids, like, where's he off to?

Maybe his work or something. Oh, right. Yeah. I mean, he could play weekend sports. He could, you know, go out and do things in his own time, which is fine. But to ask her to look after the kids is a good thing, but then it's also a bad thing.

Is he relying on her too much to do that? Well, yeah, if he's away for hours at a time, I'd be like, take them to watch you play rugby or whatever you're playing. Anonymous, thank you. Kira, what do you think? Is she a bad person? Yeah, I think it's probably a bad thing

to ask your partner to not see your kids so much. Yeah. So what do you think she should do um i think the best thing to do is probably talk to him i mean i've been through this as well but i was i was unfortunately the kid in the situation right um i couldn't get along with my stepmom for like 10 years um and it was probably quite horrible but in hindsight like there's a lot going on when parents split up and the children are right in the middle of it and it was probably quite horrible. But in hindsight, like, there's a lot going on when parents split up, and the children are right in the middle of it, and it can be really tough for them,

and there's a new figure to let it all out on. So I think a bit of understanding goes a long way. How many times did you say to your stepmum, you're not my real mum? Oh, countless. That would absolutely, that would just burn you, you'd just be like Yeah

What's the best Comeback she ever had To that That you're I don't know if she ever I don't know if she ever did Really She was a bit scared of me

Really I couldn't help myself Wow You know my real dad Good Kira thanks for your call. Gemma, what do you think? Is she a bad person?

I don't think she's a bad person. I just don't think she really understands the situation between the kids and their father. And I think she needs, if she hasn't got kids of her own, she's not going to understand the bond that they have with their dad. They're certainly not going to understand, like the last caller said, the situation that's going on at the moment. So I don't think she's

a bad person. I just think she needs to educate herself more on kids and the way they're dealing with things so that she can actually relate to them and see them as a friend as opposed to somebody who's trying to take over their mum's position, maybe. Yeah, it's very traumatic for kids. Should she do like a parenting course or something? Oh, yeah. I mean, there's a huge amount of courses out there. I mean, there's books coming out of the Wazoo with regards to how to deal with kids. So, I mean, there's, you know, parenting centers,

all that sort of stuff. And they do specialize in, you know, partners that are coming into a split home. So it's, you know, the kids are going to find it really, really tough. And of course, people don't necessarily understand that kids are pretty clever. And they do know how to, you know,

they're cleverer than we give them credit for so they can take a lot on and I think if she tried to get, you know, see it on their level, she'd probably be a lot more successful than trying to alienate them from their father's life. True. Alright, Gemma, thank you. Anonymous, you're an expert in this area.

Well, not an expert, I've lived it and also part of my qualification is working with children okay so there's two things here one why is she looking after the children if they're coming to him in the weekend because they're coming to him yeah what's doing that she is looking after them for that period yeah the other thing is is this that I spent a number of years in a relationship and we came to an agreement that one weekend out of four would be our weekend and that was

also to allow the children to spend time with their friends where they live through the week so and it gives them time to make bonds and friendships that are really important and do sporting events because you guys mentioned something about being out of another

you know in another town so it's a give and take events because you guys mentioned something about being out of another, you know, in another town. So it's a give and take situation because you've got a relationship that needs to grow, but you also need to make sure the children are looked after. Yeah, someone messaged in saying as a mother, as the mother in this situation, they wouldn't want to give their kids away all weekend because that just means your bossy mum,

Monday to Friday, making sure they've done everything and then you don't get to enjoy any leisure time with them on the weekend. Yeah, I used to lose every weekend for months on end until I said, no, this is enough. One weekend is ours. They can spend one weekend with their father. And I said, and that is so they can spend time

with the children they go to school with. Yeah, for sure. All right, Anonymous, thank you. Some great tips. Yeah, right. Some very understanding people. I'd still set a trap. That's me, though.

That's me. I'm not very good at this. Yeah. Sort of, I'd be that woman off parent trap. You know, the one with Lindsay Lohan. Good tips, though. Good tips. Yeah.

Yeah, very understanding. And lots of people have been through it. So we really appreciate your feedback. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Okay, so today's fact of the day,

I need everyone to play Imagination Theatre. Okay. Okay. We need to imagine we're in a black and white movie. I don't know why, but in my mind, I picture we're in a black and white movie. Okay. Okay. Okay.

And I am, I'm a good guy. Okay. I'm a good guy. I'm a, I got a little I got one of their little guns A pistol A pistol A revolver

Wait is it a western? No no More like a 1940s Detective Okay right But you are Someone I've got to take in Okay

So there's a bounty on you And you're like Doing something And I'm sneaking up behind you And in my hand I've got a white cloth Now in my other hand I've got a white cloth. Now in my other hand I've got a bottle and I pour something onto that white

cloth. And I sneak up behind you and I put it over your mouth and you're like and you're out. Wow, okay. What's that? Phil, chloroform. Correct. However, I didn't know

this and this is today's fact. Chloroformed rag on somebody Yeah. However, I didn't know this, and this is today's fact, chloroformed rag on somebody's face to actually make them pass out. Oh, my God. The movies have lied to us. What if I was going to use that as my defence against a robber one day? You were going to chloroform him. Yeah, I was going to sneak up on him. You hear, like, your friend will go, click, click, and you're like,

Andrew, give me the chloroform. And a hanky. Preferably a white cloth.y and he's like preferably a white cloth yeah he's like not now i'm not into it i'm already asleep no mummy no i so almost swore at you you're like no not for that there's a robber in the house and he's like oh my god get the bat and you're like. How long has this been a thing in movies? Forever. But it's like in the movies when they pick a lock.

Like if you actually- They make that shit look real easy. Yeah, they make that look like it takes two seconds. And they often do it without the right tools. You need like a couple of different tools. You can't do it with a bobby pin, eh? No. You need to go,

you need the thing to click the keys into place and also hold them in place while you're going through and the other one to be guiding it through. Yeah, but quite often they'll just chuck one in and then the door magically unlocks. Like it's a dinky diary in the 1990s that your sister's keeping all her secrets in. Yeah.

But you're in now. You can read the secrets while you're into the lock. So chloroform is like that as well. Yes, it could be in the early days of surgery, it could be administered, but it would be literally inhaling chloroform gas for five minutes. So you know where they were like,

count back from 100, and you're like, I'm going to be able to do this. Is that the gas they give you? No, no, no, no, no. This is in the early days. I was wondering, because I remember as a kid having a, and you got put under with gas,

and it was a real weird taste in your mouth. Yeah. And they'd be like, count backwards. You'd be like, I'll be able to do this. Ten, nine. I can't. Then you wake up and your tonsils were gone. Yeah.

Nate. And then you got jelly in hospital. Yeah. Yeah. Nate. When you woke up, did you not have... Because when I had anesthetic for my broken ankle ankle when I woke up, I weed. I couldn't stop myself.

No, that didn't happen to me. They told me it happens to lots of people. Oh, no, no. I've never had that. Oh, and I was like, hey, what? Don't try to shame me for wetting my pants or wetting the bed or whatever I was wearing, the robe at the hospital. Absolute mess. But anyway, today's fact of the day is you can't

chloroform someone in five seconds. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I've been growing a vegetable garden of late. I tell you what, this week I've seen some exponential growth. Huge growth this week. I just think the wet conditions and the warmth we've been having. Soil conditions have been perfect.

Granted, I've been... Okay, we're all losing interest. I've been fertilising, naturally, of course. But I've seen some huge growth. Now, one of the things I've been watching like a hawk is my zucchini plant. Now, do you remember when we sent Producer Jared to the supermarkets, the great courgette price hike of 2020? Yes. What are like 20, 27?

How much? $27 a kilogram? And you've got your very first one for free. You grew your own. It wasn't for free, but it's, you know, that's not what it's about when you've got a vegetable garden. It's therapeutic. It's my therapy. Okay. When I get away from this madhouse,

I go home and I... Because you're not the one who makes it. Madhouse, that could be a good... In the morning. Yeah. Well, I'm home by lunchtime. More of an afternoon zoo. So you get out of this morning madhouse. And I go home to the afternoon zoo. Okay.

With my menagerie of animals and my vegetable garden. Okay. And so I've been watching this courgette because, Megan, you'll know this. If you don't pick a courgette, it'll turn into a marrow. Turn into a marrow. But that's not always a bad thing. So, so quickly. I thought they were two different.

Are they not two different things? No. No, the courgette blows out. Excuse me. Don't be patronising. Don't call me sweetheart because I don't know. Haun. Haun. Champ. It's okay, champ't be patronising. Don't call me sweetheart because I don't know that. Hon. Hon.

Champ. It's okay, champ. Right, okay. You'll learn one day, sweetheart. Okay. So I was, last night I picked it, this courgette. I was like, well, is that the steak and my tomatoes? Okay.

And I popped a squiz and there it was. And it was a good size. So I was like, I'm going to pick it now because otherwise it could blow out to a marrow. And I don't want that. And so I picked it. You might be wondering where this chat's going. I was very proud. Because it's the first produce.

It's my first piece of produce. Did you plant this when you made your veggie garden? That was only a couple of weeks ago. I'm telling you, I've got the green finger thumb bits. All the bits on my hand. They're all green. And so I put a photo on my Instagram story. Vaughan Anonymous,

hard to spell. I should have thought about that when giving myself a social tag. Yeah. Make it easy to spell, but I didn't. So I put up a picture of my zucchini and I said,

first produce from the veggie garden, a girthy zook. You set yourself up for this. And I put it in my hand. Like it was, my fingers were curled. The thumb was at the top. Well, I don't know what, I did not expect the replies that I got from people. Yeah. Particularly the homosexual community.

Right. I've been called veggie daddy. I've been called his girthiness. I have been absolutely wildly persistent. I've sent back a couple of blushed faces as an emoji response and nothing else because I didn't know what to reply. You made that phallic. Yeah. That's on you.

That's on you. Someone else said, I can't wait till your big cucumbers are on show. I said, well, they're a few weeks off. Okay, right. I've got some apple cucumbers as well. So it's not all the long. It's not all the Lebanese cucumbers.

Okay. The telegraph. Yeah. It's not the telegraph. And somebody else said, I love the way you're holding that girthy zoop. Someone else asked me if I wanted to hold their girthy zoop. Like some sort of courgette swap. Someone asked me for another photo of my girthy zoop,

but I don't think they meant this edible one. Yeah, right. Okay. Why did they sexualize my vegetable garden? And my prowess. Yes, I've just heard from another homosexual. I was just saying now they're going to look at your Instagram story to have a look at your girthy zook.

I don't want to turn anybody on at this time of the day. Okay. But it turns out sometimes you just can't help if you're a hit with the homosexual community. A sexual being. Sorry. It's an involuntary. It's an involuntary gag. Don't tell them about that.

They'll be bloody messaging you next. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Still ending. It's still ending quite abruptly, that song. As soon as I hear. Look, I have spoken to my people about that. Your people.

Name and shame. Name and shame. Name and shame. Harrison Parley doesn't have a job anymore. Good. Someone's got to pay with their job and their inability to pay rent because they didn't trim a song.

It does seem fair. He might have a couple of other things to do. Live and die by the sword. Yeah. That's what I always say. Okay, well, it's been two weeks.

Join us next week on the show when hopefully that song is not abruptly cut off. Abruptly cut off. So you can start going on about it.

It would be a fascinating behind the scenes documentary for our socials to watch Harry fix that. He's been fired. Oh, man. No, he'll be back in for a severance package. We'll sort that out.

We'll sort that out. That'll be a great little documentary. And you'll get a little insight into how songs are trimmed. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Now songs are trimmed.