ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th April 2021

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

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Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Morn and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Hayley's, you're off swimming soon? Yeah, I think I've just had a friend who's recently started swimming. Is it me? He's not a gymmer. No, I know that you swim.

You swim cycle workout. Look at the state of you. You're gorgeous. He's just started swimming. He's a hot, ripped piece of ass. Thank you. Thank you. He started swimming and he just looks great He feels great It's good for the shoulders

I'm not a cardio gal I love to lift some weights I like You do the odd class We were going to do that class together It's been months since we said that Oh my god we need to do this. Well, you keep drinking wine.

I know. I keep going home and drinking wine and then being like, I can't go to the gym. I can't. I'm drunk. I'm too drunk. I can't go to this class. I'm drunk. But I was thinking maybe the pool because it keeps you nice and cool.

It's such a nice feeling being in the pool. I find like doing lanes, it's quite meditative. Yeah. Like a lot of time to think and it's quite relaxing. I wish you could listen to music, but I don't have the technology. No, some people do have. Waterproof. Yeah, waterproof headphones.

I just feel like you need a bit of time without music. I'm a little bit anxious though because I'm not sure of my style. I haven't properly swam. Well, just give us like a little. Okay, so here's my breaststroke, which is the one that I prefer because it's easier. You've got to get

these arms around, girlfriend. You're not scooping any water there. Yeah, scoop the water. Oh, yeah, I was sort of too like that. You've got to scoop,

scoop, go down a little bit. It's more kind of like that. It's not that one so much that I'm worried about. It's the freestyle.

Okay, show us that one. Yeah, show us that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The hard part about freestyle is looking straight down at the bottom of the pool. Yeah. Because that's what he says today, so when you breathe you only have to tilt your head a little bit. And you see plasters in here. Oh, yeah. And I don't

have the right gear. Like, I've only got kind of like fun summer togs. I don't have like a modest one piece. Like a Speedo kind of a, yeah. Goggles togs. I don't have like a modest one piece. Like a Speedo kind of a, yeah. You know, just like a neutral. I've got some goggles you can have. You can borrow.

Yeah, borrow. Yeah. Have borrow. Just buy your own. Buy your own goggles. He'll be up your ass about those goggles every day. I'll be like, where are my goggles? Hey, I'm so glad you got into swimming.

Hey, where are we at for um i'm so glad you got in swimming hey where we at for those goggles give them back i'm just not sure how much i'm ready to invest in this if i'm going to go straight in like i usually do with things you get a swim cap goggles in one piece yeah or if i'm going to go today and just go what about um if you just go swimming in like ordinary togs because it creates a bit more drag But that's just like Fitness anyway It's not like you're Going for speed You know

Yeah I know But I'm talking like I've only got like a bikini And that doesn't sort of feel Right Like I'm doing lanes No A wetsuit

I could go in a full Surf wetsuit Wall and jumper Track pants Yeah All about that drag Resistance training Maybe I could wear

Some of Aaron's little shorts And a t-shirt I could be that girl. What, like sort of the Kim Dot Com look? I'm going to go nude. Okay. Yeah, go nude. Go nude.

All right, so we'll bail you out at five past three. Thank you. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletchforn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning.

Welcome to the show. Fletchforn and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Wednesday feels like a Tuesday. Welcome to the show. Fleach, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Wednesday feels like a Tuesday. Feels like a Tuesday. And then Thursday will be like Friday. And it's six, but it feels like seven. I know. Whoa.

But that's just because we've been drinking. Nothing to do with daylight savings or hotel. Yeah, we haven't left since yesterday morning. Yeah, just been here. Live here at the moment. I got my new swipe card. I'm back, baby. You're like a new man this morning. Yeah, just been here. Lived here at the moment. I got my new swipe card. I'm back, baby. You're like a new man this morning.

I'm back. I'm accessing all areas of work that I have not been able to access for a while. What are you going to do first with your new swipe card? I'm going to set up my printer dot. Oh, don't bother. It doesn't work because you've got a Mac. You can't lock. It's impossible.

Oh, really? Just send all the printing to producer Anna and she'll... But that's what I was told not to do yesterday. She'll print my taxes? Yeah, she'll do that for you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She'll do your taxes. Oh, my God, amazing.

Yeah, her dad's in the know. She'll take them home. Yeah. And get them. That'll come back, I'd almost say, with a guaranteed refund. So this took you a while to get a new swipe card because you didn't want

to pay for a new one. Oh, yeah. And you were kind of at loggerheads, weren't you? Well, not really. I just said I wasn't. Full stop.

You weren't paying. It wasn't so much loggerheads. You were just sticking your tyres in. It was, but then it was just, so when I'm ready to leave here,

I just want to get in the car and go home. I can't be bothered going to a reception and asking for someone to come down and then talking to somebody or going somewhere. I just want to go home. Yeah. It's like having a stop for petrol on the way home. How bad is that? Just like, I don't want to stop.

I am home. So anyway, it's sorted now. So you're basically a man-child. Yeah. Well, that's what they kept saying to me're basically a man-child is what you're saying. Well, that's what they kept saying to me yesterday when I was getting my new swipe card as well. Okay. Coming up on the show, the top six returns. Yeah, the top six text messages your balls would send you

if they could send you a text. Okay. Because they might be able to send you a text. There are some new underwear. Some jockeys. Some new jockies. Is this a bit of a... Is this legit? Or is it a bit of a, is this legit?

Or is it a bit of a marketing thing? It's a marketing thing, but it's a positive marketing thing. I think it's about prostate cancer awareness, and it'll send you reminders to check your testes. Right. I don't think the undies themselves are sort of sniffing around the boloss and going, it's time. Let's send a text.

What's going on down here? All right, we can delve into that soon. Free fuel this morning at 7 and 8 with Z empty tanks. So they activated just before 7 and 8 this morning. And if you've got a strong hand and eight hours to spare, I'd say strong hand wrist combo actually and eight hours to spare. I've played a bit of squash and tennis in my time. Have you?

Much like this man, you'll be able to cook a chicken. Okay. How the hell did he do it? We'll tell you next. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A YouTube user has used a slapping machine he built. Yep. To slap a chicken.

Oh, how many hundreds of thousands of times? Over eight hours, it was over 100,000 times. And he's cooked the chicken. Yeah. He's raised it. I watched this. The kinetic energy has been transformed. Yes.

To thermal, and it cooked the chicken what is this based on that thing that was going around a couple of months ago

or at the end of last year it was like if you slam a chicken at X amount of kilometres an hour

into the ground or speed into the ground it would instantly cook it yes but it's impossible

right to do that you can't go there well it would destroy the chicken yeah because the put it in a bag Yes. But it's impossible, right, to do that. You can't go there. Well, it would destroy the chicken. Yeah. Because the... Put it in a bag. Put it in the oven bag with a bit of flour.

You're welcome. And some seasoning and it won't. This is a weird story. I spent... How many minutes did I spend watching this video of a chicken being slapped? Let's slap, slap, slap. 13 minutes.

I gave up 13 minutes of my life, and life is short, to watch this chicken be slapped to cookery. And this man spent, like, ages. He built this machine, and then it wasn't working. Yeah, multiple attempts. Yeah, like, kept modifying this machine until it slapped the chicken, and then he ate it. Well, he didn't eat the whole chicken.

It was a full roast chicken. He tried a bit and he said like it was so tough and it tasted like it had already been chewed a little bit. Would it have been

beaten viciously? Do you feel like... Yeah, right. So he had to work out the change because the original physicist, which is a word I was struggling with before, physicist, worked out exactly how hard you would have to slap it once. Right.

And then he said, well, okay, that's hitting an immovable object. So this is going to be a slap from a machine I'm making. It's got to be the average strength of the human slap. How many times is it going to need a slap? How hard were the slaps? it's got to be the average strength of the human slap. How many times is it going to need a slap? How hard were the slaps? Because, like, how was it holding on to the chicken without it disintegrating after, like, a thousand slaps? It was in, like, a sealed bag.

Right. That he had, like, placed on this board. And this thing just goes bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And it had, like, an internal temperature thermometer and stuff. Or just put it in the oven or go to the supermarket and buy a cooked chicken. This took him eight hours and 135,000 slaps. Takes 60 minutes in the oven. Yeah.

And he used three times the amount of energy that an oven would have used because he just had a little motor running the slapping machine. And it was like grey afterwards. Oh, yuck. Okay. And it had been viciously pounded. But good to know

if you're stuck on earth somewhere, like an island, for example, and you don't have a fire, and you find a chicken, and a slapping machine,

and a slapping... Well, no, you don't have to slap with your hand. I reckon the energy you're putting into slapping the chicken, you'd be out of light of fire. Whether rubbing sticks or something. I reckon the energy you're putting into slapping the chicken you'd be out of light of fire.

Whether rubbing sticks or something. I feel like if you're on a desert island and you're trying to start a fire by slapping your hands together or something.

No, I mean like the energy instead of back and forth, back and forth holding a stick rubbing a stick into a thing. Do you reckon

you could start a fire? Like from scratch Yeah but it would take me ages Yeah with the pine needles Is everyone using Tom Hanks and Castaway As the reference? Yes that's what I was thinking, Tom Hanks and Castaway And once he's got it going he's got to keep it alive

That's why he retreats into the cave Yeah ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast We're talking about the Wiggles Who are in New Zealand a bit of light. That's why he retreats into the cave. Yeah. We're talking about the Wiggles who are in New Zealand. Yes, in New Zealand after some controversy, wasn't it? Oh, they had death threats. People were like, they're taking up my son's space.

People waiting for kids to come home. Yeah, I just don't think your son wanted to come home. Yeah, he never booked mum. He never booked. And then he just blamed the Wiggles. So I remember when the yellow Wiggle and the purple Wiggle got married. Emma and Lockie. Emma and Lockie got married.

In real life. In real life. Yeah. Not Greg and Jeff. No. That would have been very progressive, though. No, that is good to clarify. So they got married a few years back after two years of dating,

after meeting when they became the newest, youngest Wiggles. They got married in this beautiful wedding ceremony. We'll love story. And then heartbroken, they split up. I remember when it was announced. A year or so later. Split up but still toured together. So they still had to work together.

Their friendship endured, they said. Okay. They realised that they didn't, you know, it wasn't working, but they were still friends. Okay. So that happened and everyone's hearts broke around the world. And now Emma is engaged again, Yellow Wiggle is engaged, to someone from the Wiggles band,

the banjo player from the Wiggles band. And banjo player from the Wiggles band. And then I didn't realise. This guy's new. I haven't heard about this Wiggles banjo player. His name is Brian. He plays the banjo and other instruments. Oliver Brian. If this is all you did, tour around the world,

these are the only people you'd see day in, day out. Exactly. I mean, I know you get some holidays and breaks, but. I know, but yeah, not a lot. No. I remember I watched a documentary on Emma because she has endometriosis. And she talked about touring with it.

And the look of their touring schedule was horrific. Yeah. Oh, it'd be horrible. Oh, it's all going. We were just saying, like, imagine the energy you have to exert and then be surrounded by kids. Like, of course you're going to be looking for a little bit of Hank Panky after the show.

And then when I was reading up about this, I didn't realise that one of the other Wiggles is married to the dinosaur. Oh, the red Wiggle, Simon, married Dorothy the dinosaur. She did a stint as Dorothy the dinosaur, but she was a gymnast. God, it's very incestuous, isn't it, the Wiggles? And then the purple Wiggle, who used to be married to the yellow Wiggle. Lockie. Lockie, who used to be married to Emma.

Yeah. He is now married to a ballet dancer who also performed on the show. Oh, wow. They do not meet anyone else. They need to go out. They're too busy. They need to hit the house parties and hit the clubs. They're also now just making us imagine them having the wiggles.

Yeah. What do you mean? Wiggles? You know, they're having wiggles sex, aren't they? So they're all like in front of there, but back at the hotel room it's an absolute love fest. I mean it's obvious if the blue wiggle and the yellow wiggle had a baby, that would be the green wiggle.

And if the red wiggle and the yellow wiggle had a baby, that's orange wiggle. Yep. But. This is how colours work. Red wiggle and blue wiggle, there's already a purple wiggle. Yeah, true. And that's where you start getting a bit messy

after you get past your secondary colours. What would the yellow wiggle and the purple wiggle make? Just a sort of brown. It was a brown wiggle as well, but he's now a green wiggle. He's the green wiggle. They're wiggling. They're jiggling.

There's a lot of wiggling. There's a lot of wiggling. Oh my gosh. Imagine that. I didn't realise the parties went off so hard after the wiggle shows. They're jiggling. There's a lot of wiggling. There's a lot of wiggling. Oh, my gosh. Imagine that. I didn't realise the parties went off so hard after the Wiggles show. There's a lot of adrenaline. We stayed at the same hotel as one of the Wiggles. Oh, yeah.

I had to call reception on them. Did you just get the Wiggles to stop bloody toot-toot and chugging? Chugging through the walls. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is this week a new record in the UK in the top 100 music charts. A song has now set

a new chart record after spending 260 weeks, otherwise known as five whole years in the UK top 100. And we all know this song. Is it W wannabe? No Is it? It's not a pop song

No pop songs don't last as long as your rock songs No and that's the point isn't it? It's pop, popular Popular for a moment Is it a Okay I've got the top 5 Is it Metallica?

No, it's not Metallica. I'll give you, for example, like I said, the new chart record, five years, 260 weeks. I'll give you the top five. Number five, Kings of Leon, Sex on Fire is the number five song. That's been 124 weeks. This was my album. Yeah, this album.

When this album came out, It was a banger. Song after song. And you can still listen to this song and you're like, I'm not sick of it. Yeah, you're not like, Ugh. Love where you're laying. Do you also do a Kings of Leon covers band?

I do, yeah. Catch us on Thursdays down at Paddy's Pub. Frank Sinatra, My Way, spent 133 weeks. This song here. Fast forward to the... Oh, what a voice. Oh, what a voice.

Great song. He's like the only one in the top five that's, I guess, older. An older song. Yeah, right. Ed Sheeran and Perfect spent 165 weeks. That's still three years. That's a long time. In the top 100.

Because of the weddings and stuff. Yeah, the weddings. It's a big wedding song. Big weddings. Because now streaming online counts towards charts, right? Not just sales when it's initially released. It should,

because otherwise it's not accurate. Number two on the list of the UK's longest running chart hits, Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars, 166 weeks.

Well, I wouldn't have picked that because Snow Patrol, I mean, that's a good song. This is horrible. Was this on Grey's Anatomy or something back in the day?

Takes me back. What was it? 2007? And pretty insane that it's got that run in the charts, but there wasn't really the streaming then. Because this song would be... How old would this song be now? I am just...

Wasn't this when Watts' face died? And she was like... 2006. Who was it? Was it Denny? Yeah. In Grey's Anatomy? Yes.

Then he came back as Negan on The Walking Dead with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. So 2006. Six. Wow. Was when this song came out. Yes. Well, number one on the list.

Now, bear in mind that this song here spent 166 weeks. The song that has now been five years in the charts came out in 2003. It is streamed 1.2 million times a week. Wow. In the UK. And it came out in 2003? Okay, what is it?

It's not this one. Let's just drag out for dramatic effect It's like double this song And the numbers Oh my god It's the song white people love Just fan It's a good one

Does this surprise you now that you know what it is? It surprises me that it's the number one. But also, I'm unoffended by it. It's a good karaoke banger. Every time it comes on a bar, everyone joins in. But why did it, when it came out in 2003, all of a sudden spend the last five years in the charts? What made it?

Streaming. It's not the last five years. It's five years collectively, right? Just crazy. What about the likes of Bohemian Rhapsody? I suppose, you know, it's not top of the charts anymore. Yeah, maybe it never, I don't know how long it spent in the charts initially. But you think like with that Queen movie being released,

it would have gone back into streaming charts. Yeah. I don't know. Wow, Mr Brightside. It's interesting because a lot of these bands, and I won't say that's true of the Killers, but Snow Patrol for example. Like where are they now? Yeah, like they didn't follow it up

with banger after banger after banger. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. From the. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the illegal ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Testicular cancer. It's no joke.

It's no joke. It's no joke. Check your balls. Check your balls. It is testicular cancer awareness month. So give yourself a check At home Later

You can do it here I mean that's not every workplace But if you wanted to check yourself Sure I want you to know that I'm comfortable I'm fine with it Thank you I just want you to look after yourself

Okay thank you 100% Well there's a new gimmick on the block To remind men to check themselves about monthly. Okay. That's the vibe. No, you're shuffling around down there every day looking for small changes. No, don't touch them otherwise.

Absolutely. Hands off. That's for Jesus only. That area. And your lovely wife one day when you get married. Otherwise, don't touch it ever. Don't ever touch it. Oh, no.

So testicular cancer is the most common cancer affecting men between 18 and 39. How about that little stat? Yeah, wow. Okay. There's the old story of a guy who ignored some pretty obvious signs and his wife badgered him and it turned out he did have testicular cancer. So, just get bloody check,

will you? Yeah. Don't do that dumb thing of, oh, she'll be right. Oh, no, we'll see how it's going in another month. Go and get a doctor

to have a look and a feel and a prod and a poke and just take these things seriously. Well, one of the one of the team-ups for

testicular cancer awareness is with Jockey who have released Remundies. This is where you buy the Remundies that literally say check yourself written all over them with little illustrations of balls. Reminder Undies.

Yes, Reminder Undies. And then when you buy the Remundies you register online and you can get a text message every month. Saying check your testicles. So the undies aren't actually texting you fine. Oh, misleading. Which I'm let down for this weak PR spin on this one.

To be totally honest with you, I want something in the gruts. You wanted a... Something sort of scientific, eh? Like it reads you... I want a Fitbit for the balls. Yes. I want a temperature read. I want a moisture rating.

I want... I'm sure we're not... Time since last use. I'm sure we're not far off an Apple update on your watch for that. For the balls. Would you have to put a microchip in the balls? I'd put a microchip in the balls. Or like a little patch.

You'd put a little patch under there. Or it would be in the underwear. It'd sit against the bolos. Yes. Yeah, it could. And maybe the heat of the body would power it. Are we just solving problems? I think we are. To be honest, I'll tell you, you don't actually need to

buy the undies to sign up for the reminder. You can just go to remundies.co.nz and put in your name, your number, your email address, and you can get a monthly reminder, an email or text message. This is no way to get Jockey to send you free undies, Vaughn. I exclusively only wear Jockeys.

I know, but you're absolutely breaking down their marketing thing here. Well, no, it's not Jockey's fault. It's their marketing agency. True. But anyway, if you were going to get text messages from your balls, what would they say? This is with our technology that we've invented.

Oh, right. The Gooch Patch. Yeah, the Gooch Patch. The heat-powered Gooch Patch. Yes. It's like the heat. Cheer thermal energy. Yes.

Number six on the list of the top six texts your balls will send you. Number six comes from Lefty saying, excuse me, you're sitting on righty. Sometimes, I don't know if you know this as a non-testicle owner, Hayley, but sometimes you might sit on one, not to the point where it's sore, because you immediately know if you've accidentally flopped a

torch here and sat on a ball. It shoots right up your spinal cord and hits the base of your skull. That pain. And then you feel sick in your stomach and empty. And for some reason, the colour white. Yeah. I feel the colour white.

But sometimes you'll accidentally just be sitting on one a bit and then when you stand up, it's numb. Yeah. That's also pretty scary. I heard that's even worse than pregnancy, that pain. Giving birth. Yeah. Do you know what?

I heard the same thing and usually I'd be like, you shut it. But they say it's the same, but obviously birth lasts longer. Longer. And we don't get it. The brain doesn't release that oxytocin during a kick to the balls or a hit to the balls that you get during birth. So you remember the pain, whereas with giving birth, sometimes a little bit down the track,

it might seem like it wasn't so bad and you'd do it again, but no one's lining up for a second knock to the nuts. No. Are they? Did you get an epidural before a bike ride? Just in case. That's going to be a good idea. Because then your legs aren't going to work.

The bottom half goes completely numb. You'll be on your bike. It's an e-bike. You'll be on your bike with your octopus legs out the side. I'm not. No, going down a hill's fine, but you just get to the bottom and then you just flop over. You can't even put your leg down to stop yourself.

Number five on the list of the top six texts your balls would send you if they could. A little reminder saying, I need a tidy up. Don't leave it too long or you won't be able to use a standard shaving razor. I'm going to need a pre-trim, then a shave. You're going to need to get the kitchen scissors. Or a machete, one of those Samoan gardening machetes. You don't want to be opening up a packet of something in the kitchen

and then there's just a pube there. A little bit of pube. Don't use the kitchen scissors. You've got to have trimming scissors. For kitchen only. Sure. Well, you use your clippers, then you go to the shaver. Yeah.

Great combo there. Number four on the list of the top six texts your balls will send you. Number four is just a careful reminder from the balls to play safe while aggressively zipping up the fly in a hurry. Oh, yeah. Do you want to catch a little bit of their housing? Nothing worse than a little pinch. That's why you never go commando. Very dangerous.

It's very dangerous. Number three on the list of the top six text your balls will send you is, hey, it's January. How about you crack a window

and let me get some fresh air down here? It is hot. I am hot. I can barely breathe. Yeah, sometimes you need to get the dehumidifier in there at some point.

Oh, yeah. Get one of those big industrial drying fan situations. It's like you've had a flood in the downstairs carpets. You've got to air it out a few days. Yeah, open the windows, crank the dehumidifier. Number two on the list of the top six texts your balls will send you if they could is, hey, it's a righty here, lefty stuck to your leg. Just a warning, when you stand up, don't come in too hot for a rear range.

Peel them off. Peel them off a little bit there. And number one on the list of the top six texts your boys will send you if they could is, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Just give us a break. Come on. Come on. You're exhausted exhausted We're pulling Factory shifts down here You just Hey

Whoa fella You just Give us a break That is today's top six Big day yesterday A big day Big announcement That Jacinda had to make

We've all been waiting for it The travel bubble with Australia. And it's happening. And so April 19? Yeah. Is that the date? Like two weeks away. Yeah.

And people were actually like crying and very emotional about this yesterday because obviously some people haven't seen their family for like a year, a year and a half. Yeah, there's a lot of trans-Tasman family missing each other, which I totally understand. My brother lives in Melbourne. I know my parents have really been missing him. So I know it's very, very exciting. I'm not sure

I'm going to dive into it. I think I'm going to stay put. Yeah, I'm not. Just for myself. I just can't really afford, both financially and time-wise, to get stuck over there. We ran a poll this morning on our Instagram, FVMZM. Are you staying put or are you going to travel bubble, baby?

76% of people said staying put. That's a lot. That's three quarters of people are not keen to travel. Do you reckon that's going to be, this is going to be us for many, many years to come that people will be so hesitant? Like imagine when we start going to Europe again and we start going to Asia again. We're going to be like, oh, I'm scared, you know.

I don't know. We're very hesitant now. We don't want it back. Yeah. I'm on the next flight to Bangkok, I tell you what. But you say you're going to straighten the fire. You won't go to Australia on a travel bubble. I will not go to Melbourne to see my brother,

but I will go straight to Bangkok. But will he come here? Yeah, he'll come and visit. See, that's the thing. Like yesterday, there were several mentions of, by the way, this is on you. If you get stuck there, we're not helping. Yes.

Like beware, if you travel, you could be locked down for weeks in another country. Yeah, and that's the risk that you take, which is covering your ass. If you've got somewhere to stay. Yes. And you can just stay there for an extra two weeks like in someone's spare room. Great. You can't work.

If you could work from home, cool. But if you can't work from home and you have to pay for a hotel for two or three weeks and maybe even isolation when you come back. Yeah. Then can you afford like five grand? I don't know. It would be a lot to do if you went over just for like a gal's weekend like a shopping trip yeah i said to my mum are you going because my brother

and his kids live over there yeah and i said are you going to go over and she said well i might but your father won't because if we get stuck there um no one can no no one can build the cows and he'll get very bored he would he would he's so good he'd go no He gets so bored. He would. He'd go nuts. Cats get so bored on holidays. So bored knowing they wouldn't have to sit still. There could actually be another issue for those who are excited to pop over the ditch. And that is the Department of Internal Affairs has let us know that 400,000 passports have expired since the New Zealand border was closed. Holy moly. So nearly half a million passports.

Imagine you finally get to get on the plane and they're like, oh, by the way, your passport's expired. Yeah, you can't travel. Wow, so check that. Why so many? Check your passport. Half a million? That's a huge amount of New Zealanders. I guess because people were like, well, we don't know.

Why would you renew your passport and pay all that money? And pay for years that you're not going to use it. Passports were five years, right? They're 10 now. And now they're 10. Right, so this might be the last bit of the five-year passports. Of the five years. Yeah.

Ah, gotcha. Literally just wait a few weeks before you're going and just get a new one. Yeah, and they make them so quickly now. But don't forget as well, I don't know what, I'm sure with Australia it won't be the thing, but even, remember you have to have sort of more than a year left on it for some countries? I think Australia's year, like a month or... Yeah, so Australia would be fine. But when we open up the world, get a new passport.

They're not too expensive. I've got some flights here. Yeah. If you want to go for a long weekend because Anzac Day is coming up. Yeah, so you're searching for the Anzac long weekend. Yeah. Because the good thing is, so Qantas and I'm assuming Jetstar as well in New Zealand have got flights available.

Virgin have said they're not going to fly until maybe October. Yeah, right. So that's going to limit. Can't be bothered with all the. Airlines. Yeah. Virgins are. How much?

Wimps. Wimps. Well, okay. Sydney. Yeah. Leaving on Friday. Yeah. I think we're going to make the most of this.

Yeah. We'll go straight after work or somebody else can, you know, knock a Friday off. If we leave at lunchtime, $333 there with a bag. Okay. A seat and bag. Yeah. And then coming back on last thing, hold on, what did I pick here to come back? Oh, yeah.

So leaving Monday there, but arriving like at midnight. Oh, okay. So you have to rush home, have a quick sleep, and then go to work. $376. So $700 returns not too bad. Not too bad. Could we do a work on Friday and then get someone to cover a Monday?

Well, Monday's Anzac. So you're arriving at the end of Monday to start work again on Tuesday. Oh, I see. I don't think we're getting any of those $300 return specials anytime soon. No. Melbourne's about $300 seat and bag there, but then $379

back. Right, okay. But still not, I thought it would be quite expensive to start off with. Were they trying to recoup? Absolutely. To make the most of the people that can afford to travel, that really want to. And they won't be making any money because people will be using their credit. It's still going to take people a while to burn through their credit, isn't it?

For all those overseas. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, in Adelaide, a woman has been caught driving. Oh, my God. Disgusting. Women driving? Not in my town. It wasn't the fact that she was driving,

it's that she was doing something while driving. Police have slammed the behaviour of the motorist who seems to be driving while reading a book on a busy road at high speeds. In the concerning video, you can see the woman driving with a book nestled

on the steering wheel. Oh my gosh. And two kids in the car. Oh, mum. And it was a good Friday. What was it? Fifty Shades of Grey or something? She was just catching up on this whole,

she's like, what have I got today off? Right. What chapter am I? But do you know when you're reading a good book and you can't put it down, you're like, I don't want to go to bed now,

just one more chapter or. But when you're driving, good book and you can't put it down, you're like, I don't want to go to bed, no, just one more chapter or... Yeah, but when you're driving, there's these neat things called audio books where someone will read it to you. Yeah, people like Stephen Fry with amazing voices. I want to know what the book was. I know. Because I want to read it.

It's a good... It's probably a good ad for the book. That'll be a... Yeah, imagine on the next edition of the cover of the book, they write, so good, a woman was caught reading it while she was driving.

Endangering others and her own two children. It's the book no one can put down. So, I mean, I try to think about, I mean, I sometimes maybe at the lights might have a little flick through an Instagram story or something like that. Oh, yeah, same, but that's allowed because you're not moving. Is it? No, it's not, but I tell myself it's okay and then put the phone down.

Yeah. But this is next level because you have to, like, go do, do, do, do. You know, like, with a video or even when you're scanning through Spotify, you kind of cast your eyes down. You know, like, you don't have to be, like, paying such close attention. But reading, you're going word, word, word, word, word, word, word, word, word. She had it on the steering wheel. Hasn't the odd bus driver been caught doing that as well?

In like slow moving traffic just with the paper on the wheel? Oh, the bus driver. Yeah. It was a picture of a bus driver reading the paper. And you see, especially this time of day, people eating cereal, people putting lipstick on. What's my worst food to eat? Oh, salad.

Salads are hard to drive with. But this is what I wanted to ask the question this morning on the back of this woman reading and driving on a motorway in Adelaide. What is the weirdest thing you've seen somebody doing in a car? While driving. While it's driving. What have you seen? Have you seen makeup applications? I've gotten changed.

Bra included. Wow. On like a motorway? Or a road? A 50k. Did you have to go like knees to steer when you did the bra? Yeah. I can't remember what I... I think I was taking off a pair of togs and then putting on a bra.

So why didn't you pull over? I was in a hurry. I can't remember what I, I think I was taking off a pair of togs and then putting on a bra. So why didn't you pull over? Wet togs as well. I was in a hurry, I don't know. Wet togs, one piece or two piece? I thought I could do it all, two piece. Right. I'm a two piecer. Because I was just thinking if it was one, you'd have to like slide it all the way down.

And be nude for a period of time. Yeah, yeah. Imagine pulling up to the lights. You never know how high. And there'd be a truck that can see in, yes. Alright, so 0800 DALSLS-IT-M, 9696, especially this time of the morning when you're always driving to work and people are multitasking because, like Hayley, they're late

and they're probably getting changed out of their togs. What's the weirdest thing you've seen somebody doing in a car? Maybe you want to own up to doing this yourself. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We're talking about a woman in Adelaide that has been caught reading a book, driving on the motorway with two kids in the car. I hope it was a picture book, you know, because then it's less attention.

It looked thick. It looked like a novel. Yeah. Unsure what book that is, but we want to know the weirdest things you've seen people doing in the car. So some text messages in on it. I was driving down a pretty quiet street and this car started swerving everywhere.

I was like, WTF? Outrageous swerving. Then suddenly it pulled over and so I was like, oh, maybe it's someone who's had a mishap or a turn. And it was a young couple, just absolutely full noise getting it on. Apparently she had...

While driving? Well, by the time they'd stopped and they'd got there, it all happened very quickly. She was already strapped Like over him She was sitting Driving?

Well, he was driving And she was on top So I'm guessing he was like Whoa, what a surprise That was the swerve And then he pulled over And then the fun times began Lara, what happened?

Oh, so I didn't actually see anyone doing anything But I was the victim of it I had a lady Was reading a anything, but I was the victim of it. I had a lady who was reading a road map and driving down the road, jumped the curb and run me over. Oh, no! Oh, my God, how badly were you okay?

Get your phone out and get directions. You know, they speak to you. Oh, no, we're talking about 35 years ago. Oh, right, okay. Pre that, yeah. Was it one of those, Matt, like a Jason's AA travel map book, or was it one of those big outfolding situations? It's a big outfolding thing.

Wild. No. Wild. Very wild. Wow. I hope you got some compensation. Oh, yeah. No, I never heard from her.

Yeah. Not even a sorry. Unbelievable. All right, Laura, thanks to you. Laura, thanks Oslo. I never heard from her. Not even a sorry. Unbelievable. All right, Laura, thanks to you. Lara, thanks to you. Cool. Some text messages. Somebody messaged in saying I was half an hour away from home in peak Auckland traffic.

I was absolutely busting for a wee. It's just like the story you told us before, Hayley. Oh, it's different. Different. Slightly different. I did a wee in my keep cup. I'm not proud of what I did. Please tell me you threw away the keep cup.

No words if the keep cup was thoroughly rinsed, dishwashed, and then... No, throw it out. Wees is very sterile. I know, but throw it out and get a new keep cup. That's you not keeping the keep cup. Is this a male, female? That's...

I also don't know. I could... I'll reply with questions. Male, easier. Male or female. Did you keep the? I'd be impressed if a female. Honestly.

Because that would be hard. Male or female. Also, did you keep the keep cup? We need those answered, those questions. You're earning questions. I've just replied to them there in case they, I witnessed someone braiding their hair while driving over the Harbour Bridge, like full on French braids.

I think she was driving with her knees and occasionally taking one hand off just to rearrange the steering wheel. It's not safe. Not safe on the bridge. Stayed the absolute hell away from her. Right. Jelena, good morning. Good morning. I was like, Jelena,

yes. What did you see somebody doing in the car? It's not somebody, it's me. Oh, okay. I'm admitting. So toast or cereal and coffee. Yeah. And a full face of makeup every morning on the way to work.

Toast and cereal? Well, it depends. I mix it up. It's either toast, cereal or toast, coffee, cereal, coffee. Where do you put the toast or the cereal? Do you have like a special little cup for it or? The toast goes on the passenger seat beside me, kind of nestled in between my work bag.

And I've got a little hole for my coffee. And the cereal, I kind of have like a bowl that I used to put my kids' snacks in when they were little. Oh, okay. Like a non-spill bowl. Yeah, right, I hear that. When you're putting on the makeup, are you in a 50K zone or a 100K zone? Oh, no, no, no. I'm in a 50, and it's crawling.

Okay, crawling in a 50. That's all right. Are we all right with that? I think I'm all right. What are you doing, though? Are you slapping on some mascara? Are you doing a full-winged line? Oh, no, no, no.

Full face, full face. Wow. Somebody messaged in saying they pulled up alongside someone who was watching a makeup tutorial on their iPad. It was on their dashboard. Oh, no. And trying to copy it. Wow.

Hey, Jelena, thanks for your call. More texts in. I saw someone reading a book on the back of a motorcycle. So they were the pillion passenger. I'd be so scared to be on the back of a motorcycle. So they were the Pillion Passage. I'd be so scared to be on the back of a motorcycle. I'd be holding on so tight. Your seatbelt is your arms around someone's waist. I know.

That is terrible. And like 100 Ks on a motorway. No thanks. No thanks. I saw someone smoking a bong on a highway in the States, though. It was like a whole giant ass bong set up it was very concerning to see that whilst driving um i saw someone watching netflix on their ipad resting it on the steering wheel so same as the book person it was um there uh lots of people eating

their breakfast lots of people engaging in um fun times both solo and duo. No word of trio. Who would do that? Filthy, filthy individuals. I've seen two men in a convertible roof down playing with each other. That's mutually playing with each other. There's something for everybody. Yeah, roof down, baby.

I reckon they were doing that for the truck drivers. Yeah, if you've got a boyfriend and you're off for a Sunday drive with the roof down, remember that trucks can see in. Yeah, definitely. We've also heard from the Keep Cup urinator. Yes. I have your answers.

Good. Final bets? I'm going to say female and she kept the cup. I'm going to go. I'm the same. I think female kept the cup. Correct. Whoa.

Female and she kept the cup. That is disgusting. Throw the cup out and get a new one. And she kept the cup. That is disgusting. Throw the cup out and get a new one. Let's give it a good soak in some boiled water. I saw a woman. She was driving. Her husband was in the passenger seat. She was playing with herself and he was just like chilling.

What? This was in Tauranga going over the bridge. So she was driving. Did it look like he was aware? They rolled down the window and said, for God's sake, help her out. Which then alerted them to the fact that people in higher vehicles could see them. Yeah. She should be passenger if she wants to do that.

Yeah, he should drive. Yeah, or assist. They could take turns, couldn't they? Yeah, pull over. I'll go and you drive and then you go and I'll drive. Well, people really get the mood just tainty, doesn't it, on the open road? Somebody said, I did...

It's those rumble lines, isn't it? It is. Somebody said, I did not know you could get a Nespresso-type coffee machine that ran off a cigarette lighter, but apparently you can. I've seen someone making themselves a cup of hot coffee on the road. Oh, amazing. Wow.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So yesterday after the show, we were just lightly discussing a story in the news. This wasn't on air, wasn't it? We do chat off air, don't we? Talking about it. Yeah, we were just chilling, waiting for something. All sorts of revelations. And talking about a news story that women had been arrested in Dubai

because they got naked on their own balconies. Yeah. And even though no one saw, like, it wasn't a problem, they were just doing it for themselves. I mean, they were having photos taken and stuff, but they were going to be arrested. They're, like, tracking them down. They're arresting them. And we were just saying how when you're in Dubai, it doesn't

always feel super conservative. Yeah. And we were just talking. But it is. Yeah. It is super conservative, but they have like bottomless branches and stuff, but then they just like turn a blonde out of that because it's money making and. Yeah.

But you can't be drunk in public. No. But you are literally encouraged to drink as much as you can for a few hours and then, I don't know, disappear. But we were talking about Dubai and the conservative nature of the United Arab Emirates when Hayley-Jane Sproul just pops in with a line that pretty much went... When I was in Oman, I was heading to clubs all the time and we're like oh okay and then um

the the follow-up sentence was when when i was in oman teaching the oman omani omani military marching techniques yeah when i was in the oman when i was in oman teaching the omani military marching techniques um we were going out all the time and we were like. Caridon was going out stories. We were like, wait a second. You taught the Omani military marching. Yeah. A bit weird, isn't it?

I feel like when I came back from it, when was it? 2018, 2019. When I came back, I talked about it all the time. And I remember being like oh people are really really shocked by this and like anytime I'd be in an interview

like promoting something they'd be like now you went to Oman and I talked about it a lot and now I have a yeah I went to Oman it was a it's a long long story

that involves lots of people but we've got time we're on till nine so feel free to hit us with the details because we didn't ask too many questions at the time no so my marching team who i used to march with who are now uh retired uh lockheel they traveled to oman to perform in the omani military tattoo in

2015 and while they were there the sultan of oman saw our style of marching, which is unique to New Zealand. It's kind of different to male military style marching. Saw it and was like, this is excellent. And in Oman, they have a female, all female marching band that plays for the military. That's their role. They're a marching band and he loves classical music. So he got,

well, him and his people in the military approached my coach, Colleen. So she literally got an email from a Omani sultan. Well, from the sultan. I mean, that's like there was Nigerian prince, right?

It wasn't like sultan at oman.co.oman. At hotmail.com. No, but he requested that she come over to Oman and coach these women. Was it a hard request? Like, if you don't do this, you'll disappear off the planet? No, no, no, no, no. It wasn't like that at all. Anyway, so my coach and a couple of the girls

in my team went over and did this. And then the following year, my coach didn't go and just her niece and our leader went over. And then the following year, they asked again. So it became this kind of contract. And my coach didn't want to go. And my teammate Nicole was going over, and I was a freelancer, so I was like,

yeah, I'll go and I'll teach the Omani military how to march. So we go over there for like a few months, and we live at the army barracks, and you teach the girls how to march in the morning, and they're really funny, and then the day gets too hot, so then you lounge by the pool for the rest of the day, and then you go out and hit the clubs at night.

And then you do it all over again. That sounds like an absolute dream to Oman. And then at the end of your time there, they did a performance for the Sultan at his palace and we went in. And if they didn't perform well, you got your head chopped off. We, it was a kind of an interesting thing

because it was, I don't know, there's, you know, like the relationship with women in Oman is unique. It's different to how they approach women. So we were kind of kept a bit hidden. Wow. Under a blanket or something. No, we were there. It was just sort of like, it was

sort of downstairs behind the stand. Yeah, we really like pushed our way in to be there. When you say lounging by the pool, what did that look like? So we stayed at the officers' mess, so like where the high-ranking officers are. And I mean, they would have been shocked because there's like the Omani military high-ranking officers

and then like two very Pakeha women in bikinis by the pool. They were like, what is this? And then, yeah, like you would just order food from the kitchen because it was too hot for them to train in the day. So we would train very early in the morning, go to the hall and have breakfast and then hang by the pool. And then, yeah, that was my job for a bit. Wow.

Okay, next Fletch is going to tell us about the time he spent two months in an army barracks, lounging by the pool in a bikini. It is a hell of a story. It really is. I think it's going to outdo your story. Yeah. And it certainly didn't happen in the Middle East. What an absolutely weird life I've lived.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, well, well. Hello. Joining us on the phone, Megan Papadopoulos. Good morning. Good morning. Wow, you sound different. Tired?

She's a mum now. What do you mean tired? We're all always tired. Oh, yeah. Just next level parental tired. What do you mean I sound different? I sound mumsy. Oh, that's what it is.

Yeah, it's mums. You sound like you've got a bob. Are you wearing a pair of pedal pushers? Yes. No, not yet. I haven't donned the capris yet. God damn, those capris with a nice comfortable pair of shoes, slip-ons, maybe some comfs.

Do you know I'm like, I'm determined not to cut my hair because I know you guys will be like, you've got the mum bob. No, we don't want to say it once to your face. All right. How old is, first of all, congratulations. Thanks. Bastion is here. Where did the name come from?

Lots of people have asked me, and I'm sure you've also been asked a thousand times. People have asked me a lot, too. It's not really from anywhere. We just kind of liked it. It's a boy's name of Greek-Latin origin, meaning man of... It's a Greek. Man of Sebastia. Oh, okay.

Well, that's handy. Fancy. That's Papadopoulos. He's not going to find any cups or anything with his name on it at souvenir stores, though. No, he's not. And so, how's it all going? I mean, I've been around. I've seen you.

I don't know if I said it to you. I said it to Sade and I've said it to many people. Absolutely natural. Really surprised me because you didn't even like holding babies before you had your own. No, and I still don't like holding other people's babies. People think when you've got one, you want to hold their one. And I still don't. But no, I just, I don't know.

I'm not so worried about dropping him. Yeah. Because he's yours. He's tough. Yeah. Yeah. If I drop him, there's no one to blame but myself. Don't tell that to Plunkett.

That doesn't sound like a chat you should be having with Plunkett. I can say that I haven't dropped him. But do you know when we were giving birth, I'm not going to give you too many details, but because I had a C-section, the first thing the doctor did was pick him up and almost drop him on the floor, apparently. Well, they are slippery, though.

They're very slippery. Very slippery and wriggly. You've given him a wipe, though. Otherwise, it's going good. Yeah, yeah, it's all going well. I don't know how babies work, but is he up running and talking and learning? What's his first word?

Yeah, yeah. When's he starting school? What you can't see is that the doors are all shut to my bedroom because he's actually screaming his lungs out right now. Oh, really? Horrible. This sounds like, you'll notice I haven't been over to visit Megan. I like to wait until babies are...

18. Just not screaming. Yeah. Right, so 18. 18... 18. Just not screaming. Yeah. Right, so 18. 18. 18. I'll come over then. Megan, I'm having an absolute ball covering for you

while you're away. I'm looking after the boys. I can hear the pain in your voice. Oh, look. They're giving me an absolute runabout, but it's a blast. I do want to know, though, while I'm being you,

do I also get all your PR packages that turn up? Well, do you know, producer Anya bought some round for me the other day and I literally said to her, I was like, I just assumed Hayley was going to take these. I will send things to you and I'll just be like, I guess that's mine now. That's part of the drill, yeah. Her chair, her microphone, her packages, it's all mine. Steal it all.

Well, there's a couple of packages that Hayley can't have. We've got a, well, it's just one package, but we've got a little present for you there. I believe it's there. Okay, so I'm opening it. It's not like a, oh, my God. Oh, it's actually so cute. Yeah, there it is.

There it is. There it is. We've nailed a gift, haven't we? You've outdone yourselves. Okay, so there's two little black onesies. One says Fletchy with, like, an attempt at the Gucci logo. Yes, it is. It's a Gucci font.

Yes. And the other says Vauntino. Yes. Vauntino, I presume. Yes. Oh, that's actually so cute. Okay, well,

put him in it and take some photos and that'll be great. Yeah. You won't even see them because no doubt you've hidden me on social media anyway.

Well, not yet. It's happening soon, though. And Gary from work's getting hidden as well soon because he's had a baby. I do this just moment. It's like six months and then, yeah,

Clint's getting hidden as well Oh no Clint's already Been hidden Because he's already Had Tilly That's right No but I do take people Off hide after six months

I get over posting All these incessant photos But yeah no Just to be done Yeah Okay Well thank you This is very

They're very cute They are Will he'll still fit them He'll fit them Yeah I've been told he's petite And I was like Oh my god thank you They're cute. This is very, they're very cute. They are. Will he still fit them? He'll fit them. Yeah. I've been told he's petite and I was like, oh my God,

thank you. Yes. Taking all their compliments. Like it's got something to do with me. I've got them on trim milk. That'll be from, that'll be from mum's side.

Yeah. Awesome. Well, you get back to that screaming child. I think legally you're not allowed to leave them

for too much longer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Great to chat screaming child. I think legally you're not allowed to leave them for too much longer. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Great to chat. Can I babysit Fletch? I think he's cut. Yeah, he's cut off.

I've cut her off. Oh, you cut her off. Ruthless. Nothing's changed. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Dating certainly has changed shape over this pandemic, hasn't it? We're not hooking up, we're not going out and having many a casual date before we land

on one. Speak for yourselves, man. What character is this? Vaughan Smith, surfer dude. Vaughan Smith, single surfer dude. Yeah, it branched off from 17-year-old Vaughan Smith, he had a choice to make. Do I study for this exam or do I just like catch some bodacious waves, man?

Oh, my God. Wow. Guess what he did. Guess what he did. You're lucky you're not going to end up being single anytime soon. Yeah, I know. Guess what he did. What did he do?

He caught those bodacious waves, man. Check his bro hang ten-hand loose. Well, according to a survey conducted by Bumble, the dating app Bumble, I'm just explaining it for anyone like myself that's never used it. That's the one where you have to be dressed as bees? Yes, it is. Yeah, it's fetish. It's a weird key, but I'm also not here to kick shame anybody.

No, that's the one where the females make the first move, right? Females have to initiate communication. Kind of like a queen bee. So according to them, because we have only been able to communicate with matches via chatting and not meeting up, 67% of people now believe it's possible to fall in love with someone without even meeting them. So I'm imagining this is coming out of America where people aren't meeting. Because people are still obviously meeting here. It's coming back to normal, isn't it?

Yeah, this will be in America where they haven't been able to have a face-to-face date for a long time. So they'll be creating these very deep connections. Because you know, like on chat, sometimes you open up more than you think you're going to. You don't have a filter at all. They know your life story. And I guess in the UK, so they've been locked down for like a

year, pretty much, haven't they? People are falling in love and making these intents, but they haven't met. Yeah, never met. But it's the same reason why people can send pictures of their junk to people they've never met. They don't have to look them in the eye while they're doing it. Everybody's raving when they're behind

a keyboard, right? It's like that filter like you can just sort of be... You can be a bodacious single surfer dude. You can be a bodacious single surfer dude. How did that work for you in the after school? No, I didn't become it. Oh, you didn't become it. I've chosen instead to be the studious professional young gentleman

you see before you today. Right. Okay, right. Well, so in Britain, they've obviously opened up those park dates that you can have now. So you can't go to a Okay, right. Well, so in Britain, they've obviously opened up those park dates that you can have now. So you can't go to a restaurant, you can't go to a bar, but you can go to an open park

and have a little date. 50% of users said that they would consider that as their first date instead of waiting to go to somewhere like a restaurant. They'd go there. But they're falling in love. I mean, I don't, I've never fallen in love without meeting someone. Oh, I did.

I did. Was this the time you were on Catfish? So this is when I was like, oh, this is going to be bad. Okay. This is when I was like 13 years old and I used to go on MSN chat rooms. What are you speaking? I'm making a terrible revelation, Mum. I'm sorry. And did you fall in love with someone?

You just liked someone, right? I chatted with a young man. A young man. With my friend. And then we used to text back and forth. Oh my God, I'm only just remembering this now. And maybe I did think I was in love with him for a bit. Right.

He was probably like 80. Did you ever meet? I was going to say, did you ever meet him? No. I'm not that silly. I never met them. No, you just fell in love with a guy from an MSN chat room

without seeing a real photo of him. You've got daughters, this is what happens. Oh no, the internet will be disconnected tomorrow. This is to come. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

ZM, Fletch, Vaughan. Fletch is shaming me because I used powder I'm honestly surprised it's taken this long. I'm honestly surprised it's taken this long. I am so surprised it's taken this long. You use powder in a washing machine. I, an ex-Mesufferer, use powder. What's wrong with powder?

Is it bad? It gets in the folds of your clothes. Use a liquid. Only if you're stuffing the load too much. Do you use bar soap? No, I don't use bar soap. Okay, good. That also gets me.

That triggers me. Bar soap and powder. Laundry powder. Fletcher's got to use the sensitive liquid because he's got a pH imbalance and he gets a urinary tract. I've got a sensitive fanny. Well, my area is a self-balancing entity.

Both the American and the British beating a fanny. You have them sensitive. I've got a sensitive fanny and I like a sensitive liquid. You know they have sensitive powders. Oh, all right. Oh, my gosh.

Well, the reason we're talking about this is we were just discussing who does washing better out of us or our mums. And I said, I mean, love Bev's washing, but she uses the powder still. Patsy washes clothes like none other. Like there's something about when I stay with my mum or when she's, you know,

I always send her like a nice thing and be like, I don't want to wash it. You have to wash it. You will send your mum who lives in Wellington something from Auckland

and be like, wash this please. It's nice. If it's expensive, yeah. Or if it's like white. Why don't you just do the dry cleaner?

Yes, dry clean. Because mum, that's what I'm doing. Mum. Mum is dry. The carbon footprint on you cleaning an item of clothing is ridiculous. But she makes it smell so nice. Right. It's like she uses half a blooming bottle of softener or something.

Did your grandparents ever do your washing? Like, did you stay with your grandparents to get your washing done? Like, by Nan? Yeah, yeah. When I stay with them, they do it. I only think it's getting worse as generations go by nans yeah they're good oh oh it's not so good so i mean this could be the reason and we wanted to talk about this pete davidson uh celebrity ariana grande's ex comedian snl cast member yep he has only just now moved out

of home yeah at age 20 27 it's late 20s, 30s. He's had the money. He's been looking after his mum. His dad was a firefighter that died in the September 11 attack. So, you know, admirable that he's stuck in there and he supports his mum. He openly talks about how much he loves his mum. But he lived in the mum's basement.

When he was making SNL regular cast money. He'd be worth so much money. And so now he's moved into a multi-million dollar apartment. And he was making SNL regular cast money. He'd be worth so much money. And he's done movies. And so now he's moved into like a multi-million dollar apartment. He's worth six million. Okay. I thought it would have been a bit more. $1.2 million.

Is that all? $1.2 million apartment. Yeah, what a povo. $1.2 million condo near his mum's home in Staten Island. But he, you know, so that's like a couple of million New Zealand. Like, that's a lot. I like how he's kept her close so he can do the washing. He can get the washing done.

That's all he's saying. But how old is he, Pete Davidson? He's in his 20s now, mate. I've just got 27. He's 27. So he's 27 years old. That's quite late. I was 18 when I moved out.

To be fair, I moved around the corner as well. And I would always go back and borrow money or petrol or food or... So you were basically living in a sleep out. No, no, no, no. I'd moved suburbs. I moved out. It was basically a sleep out in another suburb. I went...

Yeah, basically. Basically. I went flatting for my freedom. But I would visit my parents all the time for the perks. Yeah, basically. I went flatting for my freedom, but I would visit my parents all the time for the perks. On the back of this, we want to ask the question this morning. Why aren't you moving out of home? What is the reasoning? What's the sweet perk?

What keeps it sweet, sweet, sweet to live with mum and dad? It's the washing. If we go to my parents, like now I am a parent, I'll still just take washing and just be like, dump on the floor in the laundry, and and just be like, dump on the floor in the laundry and mum will be like, oh, washing

because she loves doing washing. I assume she's not being sarcastic. I lived with my in-laws for the first year when I moved to Auckland and they did my washing and they would fold.

And so why would you move out when they're doing that? They would fold my undies and everything. What other like sweet perks were there at the in-laws? Dinner. Yeah.

Beautiful dinner and Aaron's mum cooks like home-cooked meals, like a corned silver side with cauliflower and cheese sauce. Did you have to pay for those? No. Free. Okay, so free home-cooked meals. Executive Intern Anya, you're living at the moment with the parents.

I hate freedom. It's not for me. What's the perks? I love the spa pool. And is that the one reason you haven't moved out? Yeah. Because you're never going to find a flat with a spa pool. Yeah.

My boyfriend says that when we get a house, we cannot get a spa pool. So until he changes his mind, we will be staying at a spa pool. Apparently very expensive to run. Expensive to run, expensive to buy. Not a priority spend. You wouldn't know this because your parents pay the power bill.

I'm just splashing away, having a good time. It costs about $100 a month just to run, and that's electricity only. And the water's free if you go across to the neighbours when they're sleeping and use their tap and hose to fill it. Then you've got the chlorine. Take the lid off when it's about to rain for a top up. Yep. Put it back on.

I'll play. So we want to take your calls this morning. I'll wait 100 dials at M if you are still living at home. Why? What's the sweet spot? Or maybe you're out of the nest now, but you spent a long time living at home because of the perks. And you missed.

Yeah, what's the perk? What's the thing you missed? Celebrity Pete Davidson has finally moved out of home, 27. Yeah. Ariana Grande's ex. Ex SNL cast mate. And yeah. He's moved out.

He's moved into a million dollar pad just around the corner from Mama. But again, he's worth millions. But it would have been that sweet washing and cooking. Absolutely. And maybe he was looking after her financially, so it was beneficial for both. Good company. Yeah, did he live with his mum or did his mum live with him? No, he did.

He lived in the basement of his mum's house. But we want to know what's kept you at home. What's the sweet perk of staying at home? Maybe you've moved out now, but you can remember the sweet perk and every now and then it calls. Yeah. You hear an echo in the night. Come back. Yeah.

Meow. So we want to know from you, what was the sweet perk of living at home? Grace, what was it? So it's not me, it's my sister. Okay. We're one of six. She's 27.

She is the youngest and she still lives at home with mum and dad. And what does she get? Does she get the whole place to herself, pretty much? She gives the whole second story to herself. There's a pool. There's a spa. She's a high school teacher, so she lives about two minutes from work.

And up until about a month ago, she was still driving one of their cars. Your poor parents have got six kids. They've waited their whole damn life to have some alone time. You know what? They bitch about it often that she's still there, but I guarantee you

as soon as she leaves, they'll be bored out of their brains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got no one to care for. They had six kids. You guys must have been like Stockholm Syndrome them. They don't know what to do without you.

Yeah, exactly. We got mum a dog for her birthday a couple of months ago, and now the dog's two. And does she pay any rent at all? I don't know if she pays any rent, but like once every couple of weeks, she might pick up a few things from the grocery store. Oh, you're like a big thing in mints.

Yeah. She's not buying premium mints either. She's buying mce mints. No, and then she'll just give it to Dad and he can do what he wants with it. She is getting an absolute free ride, isn't she? She keeps his mum from upstairs when she wants to have her breakfast. No, your mum needs to cut her off.

Get her out. They do, they do. They definitely do. She's not going to be able to deal with actual life when she does move out, though. I know. I think she's just going to wait them out, though. She's playing the long game.

Well, yeah, but jokes on her when they need care, like wiping bottoms and stuff. It's nap time. She'll be upstairs. They're not going to be able to make it up those stairs. Exactly. They can barely make it up there now. Brilliant.

All right, Gray Six, you call some text messages. My brother's 55, still lives at home, and it's just because his rent's so cheap. And that's what we're hearing from so many people. I think parents need to look at the market valuation, the market average at the moment. Oh, boost that rent, baby. Yeah, boost it.

Make some money. Boost that. Put up the rent! I'm still at home because my parents have a bath. Oh, boost that rent, baby. Yeah, boost it. Make some money. Boost that. Put up the rent! I'm still at home because my parents have a bath. Oh, yeah. I love a bath. It's hard to find a flat

with a bath, eh? Yeah, or just a first home with a nice bath. My partner's six foot five so he's never enjoyed a bath. So you get to a certain height where baths are just all knees out of water.

Yeah. Aaron's the same. Can you buy a long bath or is that a swimming pool? Would you want a six foot six bath? Well, if you were six foot five, yes, you probably would. Yeah, I suppose so.

But when does a bath become a swimming pool? Sort of around the spa point. It has to go through the spa size first and then it turns into a pool. You can get one of those triangle in the corner jet baths.

Oh, yeah. I see them sometimes still in hotel rooms. Yeah, they were a big vibe in like the 80s and 90s. People's parents were splashing out on a corner jet tub. You don't want to touch a hotel jet bath. No. I actually had one recently in, where was I? Napier.

Oh, yeah. And it was one of those hotels that has it right next to the bed. I had one. Very damp. It took 25 minutes to fill up. I stayed in for 10 minutes and 15 minutes to drain. What a waste. And when you fill it up and you first turn on the jets and that water comes out and it's

cold and you're like, how long you been sitting in there water? Yeah. Who's water are you? A couple of pubes that aren't yours. Yeah, floating around. Pumps out some soap scum. That's the good stuff. I'm 34. I live at home with my mum. I stay there because I can keep my cats. It's hard to find a place that allows

cats. So I don't have to give them up this way and I can keep my cats. I get that. I love cats. I love cats. And hey, friends. I would have said it that many times in one text message though. Can we have this person's number? I feel like we might be mates. We could start a club.

Crazy cat club. Crazy cat, ladies. Cat club. Somebody else said, we tried putting the rent up on the kids and they just still stayed because of the perks. Yeah, right. Again, rent's not high enough.

Yeah, and you need to hike it even more. My partner lived at home until 27. He's 29 now. He'd still be living at home if I hadn't made him move out. Sounds like you stole mum's little boy there. Yeah, mum won't like you. And that's another thing. Have you inherited mum's

Achilles heel? You're the mum now. I bet she does everything for him. Yeah. Somebody else said living at home because of mum and dad's liquor cabinet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have one of those at our house because it just goes.

Yeah. You know, we can't store it. It'll just be temptation. How did your day of drinking go yesterday? No drinking. I had just one. Big one. Small steps.

I had a big red wine glass full of white wine. But it was only one. Well, I made it one by pouring all of it into one glass. All of it into one glass, yes. Okay. Might be more than one standard serve, but... ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day looks into what would happen

if every person on earth jumped into the ocean at the same time. It'd be like when you get into the bathroom or quack and you're like, oh, too much water. Or you push yourself back and the water goes. Yeah, loved doing that as a kid. So if every single, what's the population of the world now? It's going to be 8 billion sooner or later, but like 7.4 billion. Are the people in landlocked areas going to have to trek to the coast

to make this jump in the ocean? It'd be worth it to see what happens. This is purely hypothetical. No, we're making a call. Let's do it. Nine o'clock on May 24th. We'll be there in the ocean. No. Purely hypothetical. We're making a call. Let's do it. Okay. Nine o'clock on May 24th. We'll be there in the ocean. Okay.

What do you think would happen? I want your theories on what would happen. Well, that's a lot of mass, isn't it, of people? Would it cause a water gap? A tsunami? And the coastlines would go under? Who would disappear? Venus? Venus, you're gone. Gone. No? Who would disappear? Venus?

Venus, you're gone. Gone. No. What would happen? I'm just listening to your theories. I'm interested to know what you'd think. Surely they're massive. It would be really warm.

Huh? It would be really warm. That would be interesting. I haven't looked into the temperature change. Because everyone would be peeing and farting and moving around in it. Yeah, there'd be a bit of movement in there. Yeah. And water warms up.

Would there be no space for the sea animals? Would they be like, hey, good animal. The whales are like, hey, this is my crew. I reckon the water level would have to go up, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would have to. Because you're putting so much mass in.

But then in the scheme of things, maybe it's not that much. Well, I'm not putting in a lot of mass. I didn't say you were. Well, you looked at me when you said you're putting in a lot of mass. Yeah, yeah, you did. You looked at it right in the eye. And then you gave it the up and didn't say you were. Well, you looked at me when you said you're putting in a lot of mass. Yeah, yeah, you did. You looked her right in the eye and then you gave her the up and down

and you were like, someone's putting in more than they're fearing mass. I'm putting in more mass than when I started this job, yes. But not that much mass. So I've got an equivalent of what it would be like

to be able to put it into perspective. You're familiar with Olympic-sized swimming pools? Yes. Standard 50 metre. We're talking about it today 8 lane Yeah you're talking about doing some swimming

I'm going to maybe do some swimming So you can chuck a little less mass in the ocean So I get some less mass happening So imagine 260 Olympic pools Yep But joined together Yep Throw one grain of sand in

That is the equivalent of all humans on Earth jumping into the ocean at the same time. Oh, wow. So it's not going to do anything. You have absolutely... I was reading this and I was struggling to even comprehend

how much water that means there is in the oceans. On the Earth. Yeah, that's nuts. Those facts really freak me out. You know, like how many planet earths can you fit into Jupiter

and how many Jupiters fit in? I'm like, it freaks me out. How tiny. How tiny we are. I don't know, it makes you feel better because you've got less mass. You're so tiny, you're a grain of salt. I am so petite.

You are. One 7.4 billionth of a grain of sand. Wow. Yeah. In the earth's ocean.4 billionth of a grain of sand. Wow. Yeah. In the Earth's ocean. I wouldn't have expected that. That's interesting. I know.

Like, I would have might. Where's all this ocean? I mean, they still might not let you on a ride at Rainbow's End, but you're still at one. You might need a seatbelt extended. And you're just like, well, you know what? I'm a grain of sand. You can all get screwed. Some of the booty stand'm a grain of sand. You can all get screwed.

But no, if we all jumped in, it would be the equivalent of throwing one grain of sand into a 260 adjoining swimming pools. I'm going to go to the pool today. I am going to have a little swim today and I'm going to think about that. 260 of them. And comprehend my own mortality

and my own purpose and influence on this world. If you're in a 25 metre pool, as lap pools often are, you'll need to double it to 520 of those. Okay. Okay. At a standard depth. I might go to the Olympic pools in Newmarket

and just really grapple with that. Yeah. I like that this fact has freaked you out. I'm going to maybe delve into a few more of these sorts of facts. Yeah. Like how insignificant you are. Yeah. Just to really put you in your place. As 117.4 billionth of

insignificant nothingness, how insignificant are you? And that's not just you, Hayley. That's you, Fletch. That's you, me. Yep. That's you, everybody. If I didn't exist, the world would just carry on. Yeah, wow. I know. Thanks, Vaughn.

It's a grandiose scheme. You're back down to earth now, aren't you? Yeah, I am. Good. So today's fact of the day is if every human on earth jumped in the ocean at the same time, nothing would happen. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, the travel bubble was announced yesterday. We will be able to travel between Australia from the 19th of April. Travel bubble. And good news as well, because what, in New Zealand, what, a few weeks ago announced that they're going to go to Hobart. I've always wanted to go to Tasmania. I haven't even thought about Hobart, but I would love to go.

Beautiful. Oh, the food, the seafood. Food. Qantas also announcing that they're going to do a Gold Coast flight, which will be their first one ever. And also to Cairns as well. Now, is that in the Koolangatta? It's in the Koolie, yeah. Is that in the Koolie?

Yeah. And then you've got to drive up to, like, Broad Beach. Yeah. Now, that's a good drive, though. Do you know where I went once, which I highly recommend, is Darwin. Ew. No, I went to Darwin. I had the best time.

I went in the middle of winter and it was hot and we blazed by the pools. We drank meth. You blazed by the pool. Lazed. Lazed by the pool. Lazed and blazed. There were a lot of crocodiles. You can't swim in the ocean.

They got it all closed off. But it was amazing. There's a festival there, the Darwin Festival. It was amazing. What else? Good weather. Blazing by the pool. Yeah, it doesn't sound... Lazy by the pool. It's not on my top five

Australia list. I'm telling you, it was a great spot. Okay, well, yeah, so from the 19th of April, airfares already on sale. Yesterday in New Zealand said that they were just absolutely rushed off their feet. Travel agents are back now. Are they complaining about it? No, not complaining. Imagine if they're like, oh, now

we're too busy. Can't we find a happy medium? We also mentioned earlier in the show, internal affairs, people that are in charge of passports say that 400,000 New Zealanders' passports have expired in the last year. Let this be your reminder. Go and check

today because you don't want to get there with your blooming togs on, ready to go. I asked, you're still not allowed to smuggle drugs into the country. Oh, you're not. Okay, great. That hasn't changed? Or apples, no. So no blazing by the pool. Blaze locally. So we asked, in the trans-Tasman travel bubble,

are you planning on traveling? Yes or no? I'm staying put or travel time, baby. Three quarters of the vote said I'm staying put. And that is surprising because I had so much chat yesterday and so much excitement. But do you know what?

Like even the press conference yesterday there were the little asterisks, disclaimers that if you travel you're on your own. The traffic lights? The red, yellow, green situation for travel and how the travel world will work. You think about how quickly we've gone into lockdown if that happens in Australia

and you're there, you may not be able to get back within like even half a day or a day. No. Because if you've got an airfare that you can't change I think that's my hesitation is I would love to go to Melbourne and have a lovely time. I would love to visit family and have a lovely little trip

trippity do, but I'd hate to get stuck. I'd hate to be like. Or bring it back. Well that's the worst part. Yeah. So we asked for some responses on the matter. Somebody said, stupid idea. We'll be back in lockdown within the month. Somebody said, I finally get to see my family.

They haven't met their grandson. Who is four? Oh, four months. 4M. I was like, that's on them. They had three years before lockdown. Nervous but happy for those with Fano. Someone said happy but nervous for what it may bring.

A little bit nervous. So people are still like, people can't wait for the world to be past COVID. I think was more of the buzz that everybody was on than travelling before we're ready. Out of interest on the Air New Zealand, I just looked at some random flights last night and they are doing an opt-out credit until the end of the year. I think it was the end of the year or until a certain date. So even if COVID did happen before your holiday, if you've booked accommodation that you can get a refund for,

you'll be able to get credit for your flights. Right. So that's, I guess, a bit of a safety net if you're worried about that. And people are concerned about being stuck there. Yeah. We also asked, where in Australia will you be going if you go? Yep. Great Barrier Reef, Perth, Brisbane,

Sydney to see family, the Gold Coast, another Sydney there, the Whitsundays getting a mention. Oh, yeah. Perth again, Rattalade, and then Ashaka. I don't know if that's like sarcastic or not, but, you know, shout out there to Adelaide. Gold Coast and my sister's wedding.

Woohoo, here's hoping it happens. That's great, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying home. And what will your reason be for traveling, we asked. With this travel bubble, what is the reason? Seeing family, seeing family. I have family in Australia. I don't know if I'll be able to attend a wedding later this month.

I'm to see my family, my sister's wedding and having my parents meet my nine month old daughter they haven't met somebody said work and business haven't been able to do that lately to see my friend that I haven't seen in two years visiting my partner's daughter so family seems to be

the number one reason for travelling. Family. And getting blazed by the pool in Darwin. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Executive intern Anya joins us in studio. She's the producer when she's not peddling us discount codes for whatever app she's using.

Oh, I know. Gosh. Don't forget NH23. It's my first I know. I've used it, by the way. Don't forget, AnnaH23 is my first table code. I use it as well. So what's that? You've just got $10. There goes your $10 book.

This is something to talk about at a different time. This is fascinating. This has been fascinating to me. You're welcome. Well, yesterday in the group chat, there were accusations flying that a courier delivery, a box for yourself, a box, for yourself was stolen by somebody.

Yeah, unimpressed is a word that crosses my mind. Disappointed. Infuriated. Went to the mailroom after getting an email. Nothing there. Asked around. No one had seen it. Looked around myself.

Went out to the lovely reception ladies and said, have you seen anyone take it? And they said, I think maybe Hayley might have taken it. I came back. Inquiries were made. Hayley said, no, no, don't think that was me. Oh my God. They threw you under the bus.

Yeah, they threw you under the bus. And then I started getting it yesterday afternoon. You were like, where is it? Why did you take it? Now, in fairness, I did take that time you got delivered the Easy Buy catalogue. And I hid that. And only to talk about it on air, I didn't steal it. That is, yeah, I was witness to that as well.

I just delayed. It was the only thing stolen. I've no interest in stealing your packages. You know, I have such respect for you. Thank you. And I wouldn't dream of it. I haven't even been stealing Megan's packages. I know.

I have zero respect for you, but I still want to steal your packages. Hey, look, I appreciate the honesty. Okay, well, now we turned up to work and it was just sitting on the desk. Yes. So now's the time that you would apologise. It's huge. Look, Hayley, it's just unfortunate that you haven't come forward because in the box...

What is it? what is it what is it oh my god yeah it's a series of limited edition barbies it's which i would love to give you but you know my hands are tied now so these i believe they um after you broke the limited edition karen walker barbie doll glasses i believe they after you broke the limited edition Karen Walker Barbie doll glasses I believe they were listening and they have reached out with some Barbies for you

I've literally got tears in my eyes You actually do because how many did you own growing up? 52 52 Well you now have 50

What are these all? One doll, two pets, two looks and more. Carnival to concert reveal. Carnival, concert, Barbie. I mean, Vaughn's got girls. He should probably just take their time. Suck it, Vaughn! What?

Create your own Barbie there. There you go. Oh, wow. So you get to choose. With that, create your own Barbie. It's like a child-sized Barbie. Is that Barbie? Yeah, she looks smaller.

And you get to choose if it's male or female or gender fluid or whatever you want. It's weird seeing a woman in her late 30s go so crazy for Barbie dolls. Are they seriously? What does the note say? It says, Dear Anna, enjoy. Even though you have no business having Barbies, enjoy.

No, it says that you can have them. It says, Dear Anna and the team at ZM's Fletch, Warner Megan show, big thank you for you and the team of their support. What support?

I broke it. Please enjoy the gifts. Well, so it's not just for me. If I have to share it with your stupid children. I'm going to take one. Suck it, Sprout. I'm going to take one just so you can't have one.

What? And then throw it in the bin. What is wrong with you? That's really me. You should listen back to a recording of that because sometimes I think, does he hear himself? And I think that's a great example. I did hear myself.

Suck it, Sproul. Suck it, Sproul. Suck it, Fletch. This is Fletch.