ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th August 2020

Episode Date: August 6, 2020

Vaughans Screen Fiasco  New Vape Laws  Aussies last longer (Allegedly)  What was your dumb tourist moment?  Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's brought to you by McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only four dollars. Look at you. Disgusting. Look at that piece of paper. And like you can talk. You leave your bloody Mandy skins everywhere. No but you've put Megan's got her sheets of paper in front of her and look at that she spat out her pips. I cannot help it if the tangelos from Vaughan's Tangelo tree are full of pips They are full of pips I have planted a seedless mandarin Oh, thank you

But how do they reproduce? They don't Oh my god, that's the end game That's the end game Yeah, they've been engineered to not So that tree can't have baby trees It's been chemically castrated But it does mean you can eat it without having to go.

Like a sex offender, really, isn't it? Um, no. Nothing like a sex offender. It's been castrated. One delivers you vital vitamin C to fight off, ward off illnesses, and the other is a citrus fruit. Okay. But both have been castrated. In a way, yes.

In a way, yes. In a sense, yes. Great. Correct. They are delicious, though. In a sense, yes. Great. Correct. They are delicious, though. It's a great, juicy tree. So I had your grapefruit and I squeezed four of them and made a giant glass of juice. Very juicy.

Jeez, that was like, I could feel that burning on the way down. Just like. Did you have hot wheeze? Yeah, I had some hot wheeze. I ate one yesterday in here for breakfast. I thought it was lovely. Yeah, it's not a bad. They're pretty good grapefruit trees.

We'll say that about Vaughan Smith. Great grapefruits. Great citrus. You're not peeing on those trees, are you? No, I've peed on some of the new ones I've planted. And I do have a lemon that's not looking well. Yellow leaves? Nah, like no leaves.

It was all right last year. I don't know what's happened. And I had So I If we're just talking In a quick chat About trees I got given these Lemon trees

Remember I showed you The lemons online How expensive they are Those long lemons That look like chillies Yeah And you can squeeze it out And it comes out

You can squeeze out The little goblets Of the cells All stay together What? There's a special name My mother-in-law Bought me two trees

And they were thriving, and then all of a sudden this week they're just like, nah, fuck this. I'm out. Now, they put up a 5G tower near you. Oh, don't. So I don't want to draw. No, because I hung a crystal around every tree.

Oh, so that kept it away. I always crystal protect my trees. Did you charge those, though? Oh, fuck's sake! Yeah. Of course they were out in the full moon, but I didn't go out and go... your crystals and protect the 5G from your citrus plants this weekend and enjoy the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

Happy Friday! Yay! Megan was a bit delayed on that. Is it because it's moving day? It's because it's felt like Friday all week to me. Like we're finally here. No, it's been a week of Tuesdays. Oh.

Don't you reckon? Nah, the week's gone fast for me. Oh, really? It's funny how it's different for everyone, right? Time, man. Time, brah. No, a week of Fridays means it's gone slow. Like, you'd think every day's a Friday.

I thought a week of Fridays is enjoyable because everyone's like... Oh, no. Because I wake up and I'm like, it's Friday. That would be like a week of Thursdays then, wouldn't it? Thursday drags. Look, I don't know.

So you're moving this weekend as you start today. Yeah. What are you going to do? I've got the bathroom to pack. But you normally make... No, you just go... Into a box. Yeah.

But you normally make the donuts for your cafe on a Friday. I've started doing that. I'm still going to do those this weekend. Do you need Vaugh donuts for your cafe on a Friday. I've started doing that. I'm still going to do those this weekend. Do you need Vaughn and I to make them? Absolutely not. Would be great at that. It would be. No, there's some quality control required.

Donuts with sprinkles. No. Sprinkle donut. Yeah, we'll just go old school. Just pink icing and sprinkles. And Nutella inside. No, it's Neapolitan flavor this weekend. And strawberry juice.

Strawberry juice? What? You dip the donuts in strawberry juice. Oh, my God. Strawberry milk. Strawberry milk donuts. This is why you get to dip the donuts in strawberry milk. You know you have them with strawberry milk.

They come with a complimentary glass of strawberry milk. That's where you get your strawberry from. Chocolate comes from the icing, which is dimpled in the sprinkles. Dimpled in the sprinkles? Sure. And then vanilla ice cream inside. Oh. Yum. No, this is why you're not doing donuts. Join me at Vaughan's Donuts this weekend. It's a pop-up.

Imagine if you were so spiteful you made a donut store over the road from Megan's cafe. Yeah, drive in, drive out. Yeah. Ashamed at how many donuts you want to order? Don't worry, you won't have to leave your car. Vaughan's Donut. The top six is coming up.

So the All Blacks, obviously the international rugby, not happening. I've got the top six other New Zealand teams the All Blacks could play. Yeah, right. Because we've got the North-South game coming up soon. Yeah. That'll be exciting. Do I remember that happening as a kid? And then did professional rugby get in the way

because everybody had the obligations and it was just a bit more of a fun? There's been the North-South cricket game too back in the day. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's cool. But the top six other teams, the All Blacks can play. All right, it's coming up the top six.

Also, it's an end of an era for a TV show that's been on our screens for as long as I can remember. ZM's Flet up the top six. Also, it's an end of an era for a TV show that's been on our screens for as long as I can remember. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. After 29 years on our screens, another victim of COVID-19, E! News has been cancelled.

It started in 1991 and I mean... The E! News, Ryan Seacrest. It's not Ryan Seacrest anymore. No, no, no. Juliana Rancic. Yeah. Yeah. E-News. It's gone. Is that

because there's a lack of celebrity news at the moment? Like I know you find it hard trawling the internet every morning. Could be. And also it's been suspended or like on hold since March on hiatus. And they're just not bringing it back. There are no movie junkets that they normally go to?

No red carpet events? No, they're not really getting any interviews. If they are, it's over Zoom. Yeah, there's so much going on. I would have thought that would have been a cheap show to make. Yeah, because they never did anything. People in the studio on camera talking. And they would occasionally go to the set of a TV show,

but you could tell that that was the TV show's publicity, people that would be paying for that. But they're not doing any of that, though. Where am I going to get my high-energy, ultra-cheesy celebrity news from? I know. Always watch it and be like, if we came on and presented like that,

it'd be like, I don't know. Play the music. This is what it's like when they go to And that's it. E-news. We went to the set of Grey's Anatomy. And I tell you what, it wasn't Meredith Grey who was feeling grey. And then

the other one was like, oh my god, that was a stretch. And he's like, hey. It was like awful. And Juliana Rancic never got any better. Yeah. She was awful. Good Lord.

She'd managed to make a career out of it for years. I mean, she's probably got enough money to not worry about E! News being cancelled. But like Ryan Seacrest used to do it. And they used to host all the red carpets too. Yeah. E! News red carpets. I don't know what's happening with that. It's definitely on hiatus, but is that coming back? Red carpets, never again.

Yeah. Not for a while, yeah. Who's that celebrity? I can't see their face. I know they got their eye makeup done, but they probably didn't brush their teeth or put on lipstick. Nope, there they go. Oh, my God, it was Reese Witherspoon.

No, mister. Next on the show, Vaughn has cheaped out on something. And he's whinging about it. So far, so good. No, no, there was just a minor glitch moments ago. We're back, baby. We're back. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Megan, the podcast.

I don't have a problem with this, so you talk about it, because I'm fine. Is he fine, Megan? Is he? He is stubborn, so yeah, he is fine. It's fine. It's not as great as it once was, but... Okay, well, let's set up the scene. A couple of weeks ago, you dropped your phone.

Oh, God, yeah. How did you do this? I've dropped my phone so many times, and every time it drops, I'm like, oh, God, and pick it up, I'm like, sweet. So I dropped it this time and I'm just like, of course I'm going to be sweet. I'm Vaughn Smith. I've had two and a half years of this phone.

By the way, this phone's last, it'll be three years at the end of this year. That's pretty bloody good for a phone. That's good for no screen crackage. Oh, no, so the first week I got it, I scratched the screen, but I've been living with that for two and a half years. Oh, yeah.

That's fine. Yeah. And then I've dropped it many times. And then, yeah, a couple of weeks ago, I had my hands full when I got home. Yeah. And I was walking from the garage to the house and it hit the cobbles.

You didn't want to do two loads. You didn't want to. You were just like... It's not a big distance between your car and the door. I'm not going back. Megan, I'm not going back. Once I've taken my boots off and I'm inside, I'm not going back.

Yeah. I'm not going back to the car I'm not going back. Once I'm taking my boots off and I'm inside, I'm not going back. Yeah. I'm not going back to the car. You load yourself up. Yeah. Takes ages. And I think my phone was like wedged between my ring finger and my middle finger

and like I had a drink bottle hooked over the little finger like that and I had like the keys in that one. Oh no. And I had my arms full and I was like,

away we go. And it slipped out and it smashed. And I was like, oh my God. Yeah. And it was that and it smashed. And I was like, oh my God. Yeah. And it was that kind of smash that you can't...

Oh, it was cutting me every time I... Yeah. It was like a little cheese grater. Yeah, yeah. Like a little thin slither. Yeah. I tell you what,

great for the exfoliation of the fingertips, but it wasn't working properly. And you also don't have any fingerprints now, so you could probably do robberies. Oh, I've already started. Okay.

As long as you only use your thumb and your index finger for the robbery. Yeah, sure. They call him the pincher. There's only ever two blank fingerprints at the scene. So classic Vaughan Smith style, you go to fix your phone at the cheapest back alley place possible. I've used this guy before because literally in one weekend,

Indy dropped an iPad on tiles and that smashed. And then Sade's iPad, they dropped, no, it was Sade's phone, I think. They dropped that and that screen smashed as well in the same weekend. And you just went out and repaired them. I had to do a double repair. So I had to find someone with a good reputation. Yeah. But it didn't cost the earth.

Okay. And so I found this person who literally works out of a cupboard on Queen Street in Auckland. It is a cupboard. It's tiny. I mean, is that not a good indication of like maybe- No, because he'd won a business award. Okay, great.

He's got a sign saying he won a business award. But did he make that sign? Maybe. But then I like the entrepreneurialness of making your sign saying he won a business award. But did he make that sign? Maybe. But at the end, I like the entrepreneurialness of making your own sign to claim a business award. I would totally claim I won a business award. I'm not saying he has. Why more fish and chip shops aren't claiming a fish and chip shop award?

No one's checking that. No, I'm not. No one's ringing Metro magazine and being like, Hello, Metro. Are they still around? I don't know, actually, if Metro are still around. I don't want to rub it in their faces if they're not. Oh, no, but they are very famous.

No, Metro are still around, right? Hello, Metro. I'm just standing outside the Monganui fish and chip shop. Now, they're claiming they're your favourite. Lovely people. That's a great spot. And they've got the little cardboard cutout, the little thing outside.

They do have great fish and chips. Famous fish and chips. I said that because that was the best fish and chips that popped into my mind immediately. So they should be claiming more. But this guy's claimed a business award and had great reviews online. Yep.

Where people can be savage. Yeah. You know? And so I got it repaired. Those things repaired there. So then when this week, well, the other week when my phone broke, I'm like, I'm going to go back to see my mate.

Yep. And I went back and saw him. And I noticed that my phone, the iPhone X, because it has the screen prices outside, because Shadows was a seven when I got it repaired. The prices are all like 99 bucks, like 85 bucks. And then it gets down to the iPhone X is like $290. I'm like, what?

Like this huge jump. Because I'd looked online. If you get it done like properly, it's way more iPhone X. It's like $290. I'm like, what? Like this huge jump. Because I looked online. If you get it done like properly, it's way more than that. It's like twice. I don't know. What is it about these screens? What? Like how much for a proper?

It was like 800 bucks, 700 bucks to get a screen replaced. Like you had a registered Apple repairer. Yeah. It's like insurance claim territory. Oh, wow. It's nuts. Get this fixed for. So it came to less than that.

I don't know how. Maybe it updated his prices prices but not changed his sign when he won the business award. So I got it fixed. Now there was an issue with the first screen. I took it back yesterday and got it fixed and the second screen, so far so good. What was the first issue?

The first issue was it seemed to have this weird patch at the bottom of the screen. So anytime I went to hit the space bar, it'd just go crazy. Okay. Or if I was typing fast. You'd go to a authorized... No, I went back and he fixed it, and the second screen seems to be doing the trick.

But what just happened? You just had a song play, and you couldn't stop it. No, no, that was on my computer. This was happening at the same time, so I got tech panicked. I had to be dealing with multiple things. And then I put my swipe card down on the bench and it did something

to the screen and the screen was trying to swipe left constantly but I had it unlocked so it was just going into all these apps and swiping left so I'm like,

no, no, and it's like deleting emails. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, but it stopped. Well, I mean, I guess if you don't mind going back every two weeks

you'll be fine. I actually quite like the guy and now I'm going to go back and investigate this business award. And every time I get my phone fixed he's like, come back in 45 minutes. There's an arcade like the guy. And now I'm going to go back and investigate this business award. And every time I get my phone fixed, he's like, come back in 45 minutes. There's an arcade across the road. I've played so much Spaces lately.

It's just been a nice, relaxing time. Because when you take the kids, they're like, we want to do this game. We want to do this game. And sometimes they're not very good at the games. No. Oh, man, I had like five consecutive wins on Mario Kart at the arcade yesterday, and it felt pretty bloody good, to be honest. Okay.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Welcome to the Top Six. All blacks have been pretty much Ruled out of any International games For this season Right

Yeah are they gonna Play Australia No no no It's looking very unlikely It'll be very late in the year If it is Right I mean there's the

Isolation Yeah The quarantining At 8k Who goes where Do the all blacks go there Do they come here Would you be disappointed

As an all Like you've made the squad Yeah And then You? Do they come here? Would you be disappointed as an All Black? You've made the squad and then you don't play too much or are you like, I would be stoked. This is the easiest year as an All Black. Did we get to go to the Adidas shop and get all of our free Adidas kit?

Okay, well, that's fine. Do we get Gatorade? Yeah. Okay, fine. Cool, man. Do we get to work out with the other All Blacks and then like commune a shower afterwards? Sure. Okay, great, yeah. I'm New Zealand's, in this, you know,

purely hypothetical situation, I'm New Zealand's first gay All Black. Well, I mean openly gay. There has to have been one. Statistically, there has to have been one. Yeah. Or at least a bi-curious one. Oh, no.

Riddled with bi-curiosity. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. And if you think that that's not possible, that's just your heterosexuality clouding your judgment. Yeah. Like, come on.

Statistics. Let's talk it. It's happening. So today's top six is the top six other New Zealand teams that All Blacks can play at sport just to, you know, stand on their toes. Are they going to play like a team from like kind of the islands? Is that what they're going to do?

Again, it's a possibility, but it's not. Nothing's confirmed. Right. Okay. Because travels on the no-no. It's on the no-no. It's on the no-no. I mean, the Warriors are playing, but they have literally relocated to Australia

for the rest of the season. And that was a nightmare. They talk about the All Blacks taking on the Kangaroos, the Aussie league team, but then they're fighting about TV rights and logistics and again, COVID. The minute there's money involved in these sorts of things, there's going to be a whole lot of admin as well.

So the top six New Zealand teams that All Blacks can play at sport. Number six, they could play the Blackhawks at badminton. It's great for speed. You have to be very quick to be a badminton player. Right, yeah. And you have to do the lunging. So that's good for like lunges, for reach, for flexibility, speed. So there you go.

That could add to the... But then to the... Okay, yeah. But then do they play them at badminton? Black clocks. The black clocks. And then... But then do they line up on the rugby field?

No, in this situation, they just play them at badminton. Right, okay. Yeah, just to keep fit and keep that whole sporting thing. Okay. And because there's so many all blacks You could just hire out The whole badminton hall Okay

Great You know how sometimes You go to like a weird Like a hall Yeah I grew up rurally So we spent a lot of time In these rural halls

At 21st's And birthday parties And stuff And they always had Lots of markings on the floor Like There was eight different Sports games Marked on the floor I couldn't was eight different sports games marked on the floor.

I couldn't remember the last time anybody played any form of sport in Kuta Hill, for example. That's why you always stepped out at netball, didn't you? Yeah, it's just like, which line am I going for? Yeah, I don't know which line I had to go on. Yeah. It was all go. There was a blue line.

It was, yeah, the indoor sports, but no one ever played it. But now they can. Hire up the whole thing. Number five on the list of the top six teams the All Blacks could play to keep busy are the Blackfins. Oh yeah. What sport do you think they play? The Dolphins. Blackfins.

Aquarobics. Polo. No. Water polo. Water polo. Water hockey. Underwater hockey. Underwater hockey. The Blackfins, but controversially, there's two Blackfins. What do you mean? I think they need to sit down.

The Blackfins is also the New Zealand representative surf lifesavers. Oh. Oh, no, they should be something else. Who do you think should be somebody else? The Black IRBs. Yeah, the Black Herbs. The Black Herbs. Yes.

The Black Herbs. Yeah, the Black IRBs. Yes. Black Herbs. Or the IR Blacks. Because the IRB herbs. Yeah, the black IRBs. Yes. Black herbs. Or the IR blacks. Because the IRB lacks. Yeah, yeah.

IRB lacks. Or the, I don't know, there's definitely some other names. Anyway, surf life-saving. Great for fitness. Yeah. Like? Seaweed blacks. Because there's always seaweed in there. Yeah, just say, what's that?

The little caps they wear, do they have a special name? Oh, probably. Because they can't be black caps. But they have little, like, cute little. Yeah, they say, what's that? The little caps they wear, do they have a special name? Oh, probably. Because they can't be black caps. But they have little, like, cute little. Yeah, they do. Oh, yeah, they do. You guys, neither of you guys have ever done any surf lifesaving, eh? No.

Because it's massive in New Zealand. I know it is, yeah. It's insane. Like, yeah, back home in New Plymouth, there were heaps of clubs. Yeah. But it just looked very sandy. Oh, I wouldn't do it on a West Coast beach. That's a rugged beach. I'd do it on a West Coast beach. That's a rugged beach.

I'd do it on like a relaxed sort of a... Yeah. A relaxed beach. A harbouring. Like where you are, Megan. Tohono. Get the IRB out on the Tohono Beach with like your little waves a foot high.

And then the tide goes out and the herbs... Absolutely. Beached on the sandbar. I think that's why you guys always get to nationals and you're like, these waves are too big. Yeah. Club caps seems to be what those little hats are called. I don't know.

Okay, well, let's work on that. Yeah, but then they could do the, because this is where, the point I was getting to, the All Blacks, they always do it in speedos. Oh, okay, yeah, great. You're going to get

a lot of additional viewership. Yeah. If you promise her. Who's an All Blacks, who's a sexy All Black at the moment? Bowdoin Barrett? Would people like to see him

in his undies? In his speedos? Maybe. Your TJs? Your TJ? Maybe, yeah. I wouldn't say no. You wouldn't say no?

You just shook your head quite vigorously then. You hurt your neck. Don't say shook. Nodded. Nodded. All right, number four on the list of the top six teams the All Blacks can play, just to keep, you know, on top of the sporting thing, the Black Sox. Oh, okay, yeah. of the sporting thing. The black socks. Oh, okay.

They play softball. Okay. So that's just good, like, pace between the bases. You know how I had to remember that? I was like, what do they call it when you, like, hook up with someone and then you're like, second base. And then, you know, like, and then home run is having sex with them, right? Yeah.

And third base is? I don't know the bases. What? Second base is? I don't know. Oh, okay. Third base is? I don't want to see you do that.

Fourth base is? I've just had confirmation. Third base equals kissing, including open mouth or French kissing. Okay. Second base equals petting above the waist, including touching, feeling, and fondling the chest, breasts, and nipples. Wait, was that second base?

Yeah. There are only three bases. I'm already at third base then. Third base, below the waist, touching. I thought that was second base, and third base was more of the mouth stuff. Google searches are saying there are four bases. Yeah, and then the fourth base is home.

It's a home run. Yeah. Yeah, four. You've made love. Yeah. Sweet, passionate love. Okay, great. Anyway, number two.

Oh, no, number- Where was I up to? Number three. Gosh, this is a long one, isn't it? We're going to get told off about this. It's been going on for quite some time. Hurry it up. Number two,

three on the list of the top six teams the All Blacks can play to stay on form, the Wheel Blacks. You're not so tough now that you can't run around on your legs,

are you? Have you seen that? Wheelchair rugby? Insane. I think I'd rather play rugby rugby. Those dudes in dudettes are nuts.

It's, yeah, incredible skill and power. Number two on the list of the top six teams the All Blacks can play just to stay on form, the Black Sticks. Yep. At a game of hockey or rugby hockey, sort of a hybrid of the two, except the Black Sticks get to keep their sticks.

Okay. The All Blacks don't get sticks. And number one, I didn't know this was even a team, but I'm stoked to tell you it is, and it fits into this whole, what was the Wikipedia article called that I looked up? New Zealand national team nomenclature? Nomenclature? Based on the All Blacks.

This is why all of our teams put black somewhere in their title because of the fame and the notoriety and the worldwide knowledge of the All Blacks. Nomenclature. We don't know what you're trying to say. Nomen... What is it? Nomenclature.

What are you saying? Are you saying a person? Nomenclature. Oh, I don't know. Is it a sport? Nomenclature. It's the devising or choosing of names of things, especially in the science or other disciplines.

We got it. Nomenclature. Number one on the list of the New especially in the science world. Oh, okay. We got it. Or what's the sport? Number one on the list of the New Zealand teams the All Blacks could play to stay on form, the Steel Blacks. Steel Blacks. That is New Zealand's international representative team for historic medieval battle recreations.

Yes. We have a team? Yes. And they're called the Steel Blacks. Can you imagine the All Blacks dressed in like old school medieval gear with like swords and shields. Well that'd be great.

The Crusaders probably threw out those uniforms. They've got some stuff. We can colour them in, take the red out, make it all black and be ready to go. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, our government wrapped up yesterday and they've pushed through a whole bunch of laws

before they all start campaigning for the political season. New laws if you rent. You've got like new rights and stuff. We're going to talk about that later in the show just so you know where you are with that. Yeah, if you are renting. Yeah. But another one, the laws to do with vaping have passed.

Advertising vaping has been banned. There'll be no more pop on in for all your yum yum vapes. I think everyone knew this was coming, right? Like it was a bit of a Wild West situation. That's exactly how this news article describes it. Oh, really? The Wild West of the vaping industry. They've got three months to sort it all out,

so there'll be no advertising. Anywhere. Do you know what's funny is at the moment, I've noticed... Like cigarettes. Wow. It's sort of be like, yeah. Yeah, basically the same advertising rules as cigarettes.

Because I've noticed lately at the gym, there's Sky Sports and playing heaps of retro sports matches because there's no new sport. And it's crazy to see rugby games and cricket games and there's like, and even tennis. There's Benson and Hedges, like signage. And even sometimes the players had like it on their jerseys. It's like, it's crazy.

Your league teams in the 80s, some of them were sponsored by cigarettes and beers. His motorsport was like the last great bastion of weird. And it is unusual now to see alcohol and cigarettes sponsored. Because alcohol can't either. Because I remember the All Blacks had Steinlager on their shirts, didn't they, back in the day? No, no, no.

No, no. Alcohol's not allowed. Right. Just insurance. It's not allowed to sponsor any team that could be considered like a role model for children. Right. Okay.

Like you might be able to get some local brewery to sponsor your old boys' rugby team. Yeah, right. Shout you a few afterwards for a little patch on the sleeve, I think. The local tatham. Yeah. Sponsor the local cricket club. I'll get in on it.

But also, so advertising's changed and there's going to be a restriction of flavours. Because that was always vape's advantage over smoking is if you walk past someone smoking it always just smells like gross ciggies but if you walk past someone vaping every now and then you're like candy floss apples i know and it doesn't apple pie it does smell good it's better than walking past a smoker yeah yeah i don't know what all those chemicals are doing your lungs but that's not my concern. You smell like apples. I've noticed quite a few friends have moved from ciggies to vapes.

So is that a good thing? Well, the jury's out on that. The jury's out on vaping. I mean, it's not great. It would be better if nothing was going into your lungs, but it's better than tobacco smoke at this stage. We cross now to our resident vaper, producer Jared. Good morning.

How are we? You'll occasionally disappear. I remember when you first started here, we looked over and we saw you in a puff of cloud and we all went, what's going on here? Thomas the Tank Engine. He's a vaper.

Yeah, sorry about that. That's what we said. So what's your go-to flavour? At the moment, I jump between peach rings and grape. Peach what? Peach rings. Like peach rings. grape. Peach what? Peach rings. Like peach rings.

The $2 lolly bags at the dairy. They've got so specific with flavours that they've got specific lolly flavoured vape juice. Yep. So, yeah. You love grape, eh? You were drinking grape Fanta yesterday. Yep. I'm a grape man.

He loves a bit of grape. So your flavours will both be banned? Yeah. So it'll just be what? Like a menthol and there'll be yucky flavours? Yeah, so I think the three flavours are mint, menthol and tobacco. Why? Because there are only three flavours? Yeah.

Wow. It's because flavours are more those things that taste like lollies are enticing to youth, right? Yeah. I'm crushed. I'm heartbroken. What is it going to mean for your vaping in the future? Are you going to go menthol? Well, for the next three months,

I'll be stockpiling whatever vape juice I can find. Yes. Oh, no. Wow. And then, I don't know. Did you used to smoke cigs? Oh, big time. Did you?

Yep. Yep. Right. Sorry. Do you actually feel different switching from one to the other? I feel a lot angrier now that I'm on the page. Wow. Okay.

Like, the vape helps, but I do miss the diaries quite a bit. Right. That's addiction, though, isn't it? That's addiction. That is addiction. I made my bed. I'm lying in it. Yeah.

And it smells of smokes. Because he smokes in bed. So the new law, I'll give you a quick rundown. The ban of the vaping products to be sold to anyone under the age of 18. Advertising of products and encouraging people to buy them in store is prohibited. Limit the sale of all flavours to specialist stores, including online retailers with shops like... Okay, so hold on.

Specialist stores might still have different flavours. But stores like dairy, supermarkets and petrol stations are restricted to mint, menthol and tobacco. Right. What's the point of that? You just go to a different store. It's to stop the ease, I guess. Like, if you're

going into a specialist vaping store, you'll have to be over 18 to get in there, but kids and under 18s are in these other outlets all the time anyway. Right. They'll see them. Allow specialist stores to continue offering loyalty points and discounts. That is allowed. And vaping in cars with children.

So that's on par with smoking, which I saw the other day. And I gave someone a swift. Did you? Yeah. I've always been against smoking in cars with kids. Oh, yeah. That's disgusting. But I don't think I'd waggle my finger at someone.

Well, it's illegal now, so you're entitled to a waggle. Enable all retailers to display products in store. Provide a framework for regulations. So that was where people are going to be able to vape, in or off premises. And there's going to be, the Ministry of Health will have the ability to recall products if there's proof that they are

more dangerous. Yeah, someone's OD'd on peach. Someone's gone deep on peach rings. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. The study has looked at Kiwis and Aussies in the bedroom and has revealed

who has a longer period of time in the bedroom. Longer isn't always better. You're right. Vaughan Smith. You're right. But Australian men seem to go for

a little bit longer than Kiwi men. Okay. What men did the survey? What do you mean, what men? Heter you mean, what men? Heterosexual men, homosexual men. I don't actually know.

It doesn't specify. Right. But it has broken down into different generations. So I have like a generalisation for each generation. Okay. So boomers are more likely to have quickies. Gen Xers. Those little things that stop their indigestion.

My mum's always got those. Quickies Rather than cookies not feeling it tonight So doing it for less than five minutes Okay

Generation X they're the ones that said over 30 minutes is average for them Generation X is not getting a lot of press

at the moment are they? Middle ground between like the war between boomers and millennials. Genie X is just chilling.

Yeah. And then there was one in four people said 10 to 15 minutes was ideal. And then 19% said 15 to 20 minutes is ideal. Now the stat that has blown my mind is that

most men said there was end game. 16% of women, only 16% of women orgasmed out of this study. Wow. Ever.

16%. For every time. Every time. Right. Well, no wonder the Satisfyer Pro 2 has been flying off the shelves. 16%. That's absolutely nuts.

Every time. And what was the percentage for men? I mean, of course, it was 100%. Yeah, it was up there. Yeah, it's up there. So one in three people that responded to this survey said they orgasmed and the result is 16% of women.

One in three people said they did. Even that's 30%. So that means that not all men did either. But 16% of women don't. So they're bringing the stats. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Definitely bringing it down. But how do they know when to stop then?

Who? Everybody. Like if there's a couple and neither, because statistically there's got to be a couple where they're doing it and no one's finishing. You just go, Shorty's going to start, so I guess we should. Yeah.

You could just hop off. Should we just go to bed? You could hop off. I wanted to catch the weather to see what it's doing tomorrow, whether or not I can hang the washing out. Well, it's fair to say there are some work-ons there. Yeah.

A lot of work-ons. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An Austrian guy was touring around Italy. He was on holiday. Isn't that nuts? We're stuck here, but he's touring around Italy. Yeah.

And he went to an Italian museum. Now, to be fair, the sculptures, the room that he was in was full of sculptures. Yep. None of them are cordoned off. But I feel like there's an unspoken rule, you look and you don't touch.

And there could be signs that say please don't touch. Well, even, do you remember when we went to look at the Roman sculptures? We weren't even allowed to take pictures of the funny little penises. Oh, no, they were very, they were very angry. They were like, no, and it's just a photo. Were you zooming in on the peepees? I was definitely about the penis.

It was like pointing at it or something. Just juvenile humour from, you know, men in there. That should be old enough. This man is a sculpture of a woman draped across a couch. Okay. So in order to get his photo, he decided he was going to sit on the couch with her on this sculpture. Was it marble?

Yeah. Well, it looks to be, yeah. Yeah. And he sat down, got his photo taken. When he stands up, he must have heard a crack or he must have felt something because he broke one of the toes or tore the toes off the statue. There's a picture of it. How old would the statue be?

Well, it's Rome, isn't it? Italy. So it'll be like... It's old, yeah. It'll be old, old. And now I can actually see there is a little plaque that says, please don't touch. But yeah, it's not cordoned off. And there was no one there telling him not to. Yeah. It'll be old, old. And now I can actually see there is a little plaque that says, please don't touch. But yeah, it's not cordoned off.

And there was no one there telling him not to. Yeah. So he snapped two of the toes off. So this is caught on video. Now, does he try to pretend he didn't do it and walk away? Is that what I'm seeing there? So he stood up, realised what had happened, looked at it and tried to walk away and then played it cool

and kind of like paced around like looking at the other sculptures. You can't bolt straight away. You kind of got to linger for a little bit. That's a nice statue. Look at that one. Like just wandered around a wee bit. Make sure anybody that was there when you did break the thing

has moved on. Yeah. Yeah. And then you move on. So obviously the museum has released the footage. Everyone can see that he did it. And they've said, can you just, you know, you've got to be very careful. We have people who can restore these, but obviously we need them in there.

Right. Whatever the statue version of superglue is, probably a big tube of superglue. Super paste. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what you'd glue. Maybe they have to drill a little kind of metal. That would be a more secure thing to do. Yeah.

That held the weight, but then the glue. Yeah. Love a little kind of metal. Oh, that would be a better, that would be a more secure thing to do. Yeah. That held the weight, but then the glue. Yeah. Love a bit of adhesive chat. Good adhesive chat, yeah. Maybe a bit of Araldite. You know that when it comes in two syringes next to each other and it's like two individually non-adhesive products and then it mixes and baby, you've got to move.

Yeah, strong glue. You've got to move. So I thought we could reminisce about times when we could travel and you can tell us your dumb tourist moment. Maybe you saw one. Maybe you saw someone doing something stupid. Oh, yeah. Bonus points if you broke something.

Or saw someone break something. You've just been sent through. Contact cement is what you'd want. Contact cement. Thank you. Love some adhesive, chat. Tiles, rubber, wood, metal for mica, most plastics. God, that sounds like a wonder product. cement is what you'd want. Contact. Thank you. Love some adhesive chap. Tiles, rubber, wood, metal, formica, most plastics.

God, that sounds like a wonder product. And I bet if you got it on your fingers and then that finger touched another finger, you'd never get them apart. No. All right. So yeah, 0800DARLSATM9696. Let's try to remember those days when we could travel. Yeah.

What was your dumb tourist moment? An Austrian tourist went to an Italian museum, lay on one of the statues and broke two toes off. It was caught on camera too. We want to know your dumb tourist moments. You're going to have to dig deep in the memories. Yeah, and own up. Oh, from when we used to travel.

R.I.P. R.I.P. We'll go to Brianna. Brianna, what was your dumb tourist moment? Hey, so I was flying from Krakow to London last year. I'd been tossing up, like, what kind of days I was going to fly back, just based on what was cheap, you know. We're rolling on a budget.

Megan just looked at me like, is that a place? Did you say Krakow? Poland to London. Krakow in Poland. I thought you said Krakow. I was like, what? They invented the Christmas cracker. That's why it's called Krakow. Yeah. So, obviously, like, the cheapest flights are I was like, what? They invented the Christmas cracker. That's why it's called the cracker.

Yeah. So, obviously, like, the cheapest flights are always, like, the ones at half o'clock in the morning. So, I was like, cool, got up at four o'clock in the morning, took the bus to Krakow Airport. Like, I don't speak Polish, don't understand how the buses work. Get there, check in for my flight, go to go through the security gates, and my tickets won't scan.

Like, it's scanning, and the light's going going red and I'm like, this is weird. Security guard comes over, scans my ticket, does the same thing for him. He picks it up, looks at it and just starts laughing at me. And I've obviously got a very confused look on my face and he goes, you're flaked, do model. And I was like, sorry, what now? But they let you check in. Yeah. So budget airlines in Europe let you check in 48 hours early,

not 24 like they do here. What? So what did you just live at the airport for a day? Well, no, I went and sat down and had a full Kim K ugly cry. Ragged up about 30 euros worth of, like, debt calling my mum, which I didn't know until two months later when I got billed for it and then had to call my hostel at

six o'clock in the morning and be like, hey, can I come back and have my bed, please? Wow. I just had to stay there another 24 hours. I was like, I can't really go anywhere. Better you, you know, it's in the future rather than in the past and you missed it. Exactly. Brianna, thanks for your call. Alex, oh, wait, we'll go to Taylor.

Taylor, what was your tourist moment, your dumb tourist moment? So I was in Mexico. It wasn't me specifically, but it was the tour that we were with. And we sort of did a tour that was a little bit off the beaten track. So it wasn't, you know,

super touristy towns that we were going to. And we'd been out for dinner, and a couple of us started heading back to the hotel, and a couple of guys were like, no, we're going to stay, we're going to have some drinks, or whatever. Okay, whatever, you do your thing. Come to find in the morning that they had been propositioned by some drug dealers. They didn't know that they were drug dealers at the time. Right.

They were just chatting to them. And then the drug dealers and the cops are kind of in cahoots a little bit. So basically they all kind of honed in on the fact that they were tourists and stuck out like a forked thumb. And the cops came over with handcuffs wanting to arrest one of the two guys. So then our tour guide had to bribe the cops came over with handcuffs wanting to arrest one of the two guys. So then our tour guide had to bribe the cops so that they didn't end up in jail in Mexico. Wow.

So they're all working in a loop of everybody's getting some cash. Drug dealers sell you drugs, they take the money, and then the cops swoop in and they want some money to not arrest you. Guys, remember when we could travel and get shaken down for cash by corrupt officials? Oh, those were the days. Travel scams. Alex, what was your dumb tourist moment?

Oh, it sounds like it's not going to be as fun as that one. I went to the Philippines with my wife about two years ago. And what I didn't realize is that places don't have toilet paper they use um which is like a little bucket that you pour water on your bum and yeah yeah or they might have like a tissue at the front when you first walk in so I didn't realize that okay um so obviously did my business and went to look beside me and there was nothing um so i had to sacrifice a pair of underwear and shed a prayer for them and put them in the bin next to me yeah and i had to then call my wife to go and buy me some underwear um as we were meeting her family for dinner that night. So I then needed to redo myself before I left.

Yeah. Redo myself. I like how we have... I'm a big white lad. I've had to buy undies in Southeast Asia as well. And large there isn't large here. I had to go like four or five XL just to find some undies that fit. Not good for the ego, is it?

Not really. Not really for the junk in the trunk. Thanks for your call, Alex. I was literally told by somebody about jaywalking in America and literally they finished telling me about it and I was like, that's amazing. And jaywalked right in front of police.

Yeah. That's, yeah. Also, the thing about jaywalking in America is you walk out and then you don't realise the car's coming from the other way because you're not used to it. Oh, yeah. You don't nearly get hit as well. Look both ways. Yeah. not used to it. Oh, yeah. You nearly get hit as well.

Look both ways. Yeah. I was a scorcher of a day. We were headed to the Vatican. I wore a skirt to say cool. Yeah. But obviously when I got there, I was going to put on tights or leggings because you can't go into the Vatican in a mini.

You can't show Jesus and God your legs. No. Because they're everywhere and that concludes down there. Yeah, they can look up through the vents and the grangs. So I went, I snuck down an alley and I hiked my skirt up to put on my tights and I hear a door open and I turn around

with my skirt hiked up and one foot in tights to see a long line of priests coming out of a door and having to go right past me and they were more embarrassed about it than I was. Brilliant. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

I would join on the phone because we're going to chat about the Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill, which has been passed. Bindi Norrell from REINZ joins us. Hi, Bindi. Good morning. Good morning. Obviously, a lot of people listening now will be tenants and are flatting.

And so there have been a lot of law changes that will affect them. Yeah, that's right. I mean, it needed to be reviewed. And what it has done is really made sure that tenants are protected. So I guess there's a couple of key changes that people that are renting can think about. I mean, they limit rent increases to every 12 months now. So that provides a lot more clarity. They also, there's no rental bidding anymore. And you can make adjustments to a property.

So you can put a picture up on the wall or put a baby staircase in. But you just have to make sure it's fixed before you leave. So, yeah, a bit more freedom for tenants. So I could bang nails into the wall and hang giant pictures of Harry Styles in my bedroom, and then that's okay, I'm not going to get evicted for that. No, you're not going to get evicted. You just need to make sure it's, like, as you left it,

or as you, you know, came into the property when you leave. Use a bloody 3M hook. Nah, they're a nightmare. They promise an easy off, but sometimes they'll take the paint or wallpaper with them. That's the thing though, like if you hang a picture and then the landlord wants it back, but it was a wallpapered room, what a nightmare.

Absolutely. There's all that to still think about, right? True. You still have your bond and all that that you have to. With rent increases being limited to once every 12 months, is there a percentage that that can be increased by? No. I mean, I guess it's still a competitive market

and we're hoping, you know, landlords in general do the right thing here. So, you know, it just makes it more certain for the landlord and the tenant to know when it's coming, they can plan for it. And it's still a competitive market. So look, it will still be as per usual, hopefully. One of the items is that renters who are victims

of domestic violence can end a tenancy with two days notice. I'd never even heard, I'd heard about the other things, you know, like being able to hang photos and the rent increases. But that was a point that I had not even considered. That was news to us as well. That was completely new in terms of the changes. They were put in right at last minute.

And I guess they're just designed to protect people with domestic violence. Obviously, that's become increased post-COVID probably. Yeah. I'm not sure. It's certainly not a bad thing because if somebody's going through domestic violence, as you said, it's a competitive market. So finding another tenant's not going to be

nearly as much of an issue to deal with as someone who's dealing with domestic violence. Yeah, that's right. What is... No, you carry on with that. No, I was just going to say that there's a lack of properties already in the rental market. It's really hard to find a good property as it is. So, yeah, I was just agreeing to say that, you know, there's a lack of properties already in the rental market. It's really hard to find a good property as it is.

So, yeah, I was just agreeing with what you were saying. So in terms of the rental bidding, because I've been there, what is to stop someone doing a sneaky anyway? So there's a whole bunch of people all wanting this one house and then someone's like, I'll pay, I'll pay a little bit more. Well, it's really designed to get rid of that. And if there is a case of that, that people need to go to the tenancy tribunal.

And it's really important that that's not happening and pushing up prices more than needs to be. And I think, you know, that whole thing about playing other people off, you know, that's just, it's just not transparent. What about like freebies? Leah, someone's like, I work in an avocado orchard. I work in an avocado orchard. What about like freebies? No, because remember I gave a bottle of wine. I work in an avocado orchard.

Let us rent it and I'll pay you what you're asking. No more. But I'll give you a box of avocados every two weeks. Remember I gave them a bottle of wine once with my application and they said I had to come back and pick it up. It's not allowed. Boo! Okay, so those are the basic changes. Thanks for walking us through that.

No problem. I think it's designed to be a bit better for renters, that's for sure. Yeah, for sure. And it's important that if you are renting, you know you're right. So, awesome. Thanks very much, Bundy. Thanks for your time. No worries.

Have a good day. You too. So, student-led conferences are what they call parent-teacher interviews now. So, you have to bring your kids. Because I remember mum and dad would always go. So parent-teacher interviews were like after work. They were like a night, right? And your parents would go.

And unless it was really bad, you didn't have to go. I had to go once. Really? There was an English teacher who had a very big problem with me. Okay. But even mum and dad were like, this does seem ridiculous. I think dad said at the interview, this all seems a little trivial. And the teacher

was like, I can see where he gets this. Ah, this is where he gets it from. Roger that. But student-led conferences are where you go in and you're well, for my age, for my daughter's age, so August is like six. So her books, like her reading book and her writing book

and her maths book were out. And you go around, you get the different books, and she shows you what she's been learning. Right. And then the teacher says different things. All good. But then how would you say bad things in front of a child? You're not going to get bad things.

August actually sucks at maths. How are you going to say that? Well, no, you'd say, like, they're trying their best. Because if they're trying their best, that's the main thing. But if, like, oh, well, you'd say something like, Timmy would be better at maths if he could just pay attention a little bit more or here's a couple of things to work on. No teacher's going to be like, your six-year-old sucks.

Teaching's probably not for you at that stage. Timmy would be better at maths if maybe you two hadn't bred. Timmy would be better if you'd laid off the ciggies. I would actually love to see Fletch do one of these. Timmy would be better if you hadn't consumed alcohol during pregnancy. I'll be honest with you, Janice, I hate Timmy.

Mr. Fletcher, should you be saying this? I'm being honest with you, Janice, I hate Timmy. Mr. Fletcher, should you be saying this? I'm being honest with you, Janice. This student is incapable of leading this conference. Let me take control. Hence why I'm not a teacher. But somebody messaged in saying

they will 100% call out the kids in front of their parents at student-led conferences if the kids are lying or, you know, making themselves out to be. Yeah, right. They'll be like,

well, let's just... So, Indies was making themselves out to be. Yeah, right. They'll be like, well, let's just do it. So Indies was good. That was great. I don't want to brag, but that's a pretty good kid. Well, she was all right. She had her storybooks. She just told us her favourite subject is writing.

So I opened the book. There was a story that started with, my dad told me, and she started reading it out. And I was like, because, you know because this has been in a book for months, and I've not heard about this. So has there been chats about me at the staff room? But it was something like, my dad told me,

and it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Because I tell them a lot. Here's one that she wrote on the 30th of June, just after she'd been at my parents' place. Okay. I like my granddad because he smacks me for fun. Wow. I like it.

He's cool. I love him and I love my grandma too. So my dad does this thing where he'll put his hand, it was what my granddad used to do, but he'd put his hand, the back of his hand, and he'd smack his own hand, but at your bum. So a loud clap. It was like he was smacking.

And you might be a bit like, ah, and give a fright. But it's just to get your attention. Did you have to clarify that to the teacher? That needed minimal clarification. That was just obviously because I like my Nana. She is silly. So that, my mum's like, what have I done that's silly? Because I sent that to mum.

So she got worried that, I was like, but it's a good silly because they like it. My favourite games. I like Subway Surfer and Roblox and Minecraft. But because August has to read us these stories. Yeah. To show us what she's like. So she's like, I like Subway Surfer and Roblox and Minecraft. Then she looks at us, she's like, I've never played Minecraft.

Everybody else was writing Minecraft. I just wrote Minecraft. Wow. I was like, that's all right. And she's like, and I love Fortnite. I don't play Fortnite. I do not know how to shoot. She's like, see, I wrote I love Fortnite, but then I thought, I don't actually play Fortnite, but I'll watch you play Fortnite. I do not know how to shoot. She's like, see, I wrote I love Fortnite,

but then I thought, I don't actually play Fortnite, but I'll watch you play Fortnite. So I told the truth at the end of the story. My family is my mum. She likes donkeys. Does she? There's been chat about a donkey. My sister likes snakes.

She does like snakes. Okay. My dad loves his barbecue. Accurate. I love them and my mum loves me too. I just want to clarify, I love her as well. Just mum though. Right.

But mum seems to be really doing the majority of the loving there. But no, it was all good. After the initial, my dad told me, heart drop, everything else went fine. That's good. ZM's Fletch, Va else went fine. That's good. We're joined on the phone by the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern. Good morning. Good morning. How are you?

Good. Good. Thank you. Did you have a couple of drinks last night? I came up and gave a lecture in Auckland. Dude. It's like your last day of school right Yeah it was

Yes it was Parliament's finish for Not for the year Just for this term This session obviously So everyone can go off and campaign now Do you have to do like a clean of your Office you know have you put your chairs up

And like do a vacuum and clean everything? Well, it's one of those really funny things I was thinking about this because in some ways, you know, we finish up with speeches in the house and everyone says thanks to everyone. We do all come back though. It's just we don't know where we'll be sitting

in the classroom when we come back. So that's the difference. We come back, we don't know which office we'll have so you kind of leave that till after the election and does not everybody that's there gets the comeback right? No, no not necessarily yeah but no one wants to jinx it

by doing anything that suggests you would or you wouldn't be back so we all just kind of leave and hope for the best because you wouldn't go carving your name under the desk in the Prime Minister's office just yet, eh? Because you're kind of, like, fingers crossed for another go. Or just generally.

Are you telling me? My predecessors haven't done that, although John Key did leave his little shorthand of phone numbers taped into the inside of the desk drawer. So that's... So it was like Bronner extension 442. Exactly, yeah. I've never dialled them.

For Mac, dial 484. You're telling me Jim Bolger, Ruth Richardson, they never crawled under the desk and scrawled their name in with a sharp knife? Not that I've found. No, not that I've found. Jim Bolger left a lot of his letterhead at the house, though, but obviously that's been left there

by a number of other prime ministers. Just for nostalgia, they obviously just, oh, yep, there's Jim's stuff still sitting in the court. Well, it's a residence you get to live in when you're prime minister. All these prime ministers just walked out and left their shit there for someone else to clean up. No, that's the only

thing. It's the only thing. It's just a leftover envelope. Mind you, he got ushered out pretty quick. So he didn't get a chance to do a good clean and take his stationery with him. Well, so yeah, it's like you're on school holidays, but you've been dealt a big assignment.

A very large assignment. One that you would say is make or break. Right. So, this week we've been told that every New Zealander should have masks. That's scary, first of all. Oh, don't... Oh, look, the reason that we...

Actually, a couple of weeks ago we were talking because I'm sure everyone feels confident to know that we're doing all the planning for the just-in-case scenarios and so we've been working on that for you know quite a while and a couple of weeks ago I did say if we have if we have cases that crop up in New Zealand we will use masks as part of our plan and so now the Minister of Health has said look everyone just keep them in your keep them in your kits in the same way you should have a kit for earthquakes. So just have those two because it's just part of our preparation. It stops people having to rush out.

If we have a resurgence, we're likely to use those as part of our plan. Right. Yeah, that's what we're trying to do. I saw some suggestion that we should have a drill day where we all have to wear a mask. What are your thoughts on that? Well, I mean, I'd just like to know that people have them with them and things. I haven't discussed an idea of a drill day with anyone.

We have been doing, though, our own drills around making sure all our systems are working, but that's us as government, and you'd expect us to be doing that, checking all our contact tracing's working and all of our protocols and things but that's us as government, and you'd expect us to be doing that, checking all our contact tracing's working and all of our protocols and things like that are in place. But for the public, it would just be great if you're prepared. That's what we ask.

Be prepared like the Scouts. Yep. We should get little badges. Badge system. Mask badge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I had my mask on. People love certificates.

We'll have a little hand-washing badge. We already have, yeah. Like I had my mask on. People love certificates. What about a little hand-washing badge? Yes. We already have those in Scouts. Yes. This is, that sounds like

an election idea. Badges for everybody who's a good citizen of New Zealand. All right. Yeah, I think I get the Girl Scout poll a little too much

already anyway, so. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, well, there's far worse things to be called. Notice you guys didn't deny that. Not even for a second. You just went straight in there with the affirmation.

Well, it's not like a bad thing, is it? No, no. I mean, it's a little belittling, but. Yeah, look, you can't help it if it's true. So there you go. It would be worse to be called like a pippin or a brownie because then, yeah, anyway. Anyway, important chat.

We'll let you go. Thanks. Thanks. Have a great weekend. Thanks, everyone. You take care. I'll talk to you soon. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Friday Flashback. Friday Flashback and it's my pick today for Friday Flashback. So as always, it'll be an out of the park banger. It was a panic one that you sorted out 10 minutes ago. Well, because we'd already done my first pick. I'd just forgotten. This song made it to number 24 in New Zealand

on the top 50 official charts. Actually 26. Pegged at number four in Ireland and the UK. Scotland made it to number three. Otherwise it did pretty alright. Way to sell it, man.

I can't wait to hear what song you pick. I know. I thought when I was I looked up her streams for her biggest singles. This isn't even close to her biggest.

She's got a song that's nearly had a billion streams. This artist. And it's not it's got a song that's nearly had a billion streams. This artist. And it's not this song. But this is one of her earlier songs. Also, you think about streaming. In 2010, people were still downloading and buying songs.

They weren't streaming them. Totally. So this song is her second single, but the first song that kind of got her a lot of attention from her very first album called Lights. The song featured in... Anything.

MTV team drama Teen Wolf and Awkward Butt. Do you remember the superhero movie Kick-Ass? It was in that. Was it? Yep. And it would have featured

at a royal wedding. Was it? Wasn. And it would have featured at a royal wedding. Was it? Wasn't it? Well. Well, not this. It depends how many songs they did. Wasn't it the reception that she performed at? Yeah.

Yeah, so maybe it did. It was part of her set list, surely. Perform, sure. So today's Friday flashback going back to 2010 is Ali Golding and Starry Eyed. On to them. bars, let go, let go, for anyone, take me in, and I'll throw out my heart and get a new one, next thing, we're touching, look at me, it's like you hit me with lightning, oh a story, I, and everybody knows Oh, everybody a story, I, and my mind knows Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh So we burst into colors Colors In carousels Four headphones My favorite planes And playground games

Next thing we're touching You look at me It's like you hit me with lightning Everybody's stirring And everybody's glowing Everybody's stirring And my body's glowing Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching Next thing we're touching

Next thing we're touching Oh, everybody's story-eyes And everybody goes Oh, everybody's story, yeah. And my body goes, oh. Everybody's story, story, story, yeah. And everybody goes, oh. Oh, everybody's story, oh.

And my body goes, oh. Ali Golding on CDM. It's your Friday flashback. 11 past 8. Do you want feedback? I mean, I don't know if it's what. My jaw dropped when I heard this song came on. Oh my God, Waterbanger.

Can't believe it's 10 years old. Yeah, great. This song sucks. What is this song? on. Oh my God, Waterbanger. Can't believe it's 10 years old. Yeah, great. This song sucks. What is this song? What do you mean, what is this? Everyone knows that song. Fletch should have to forego picking at least two Friday flashbacks in the future. You don't know how we would all enjoy that because it's fresh every week.

I feel like sometimes people pick on Fletch a little bit. I've found a new Joy on Friday flashback. It's trying to annoy me, isn't it? Yeah. By playing the oldest most ridiculous songs. Yeah.

Well, no. Join us next week. I've already got it picked out. Can we check with Ross Boss? It's a sing-along classic. Okay. You'll all have fun

next week. Long tease for Fletch. But yeah, not great. Not great. Yeah. Yeah. I enjoyedcher. But yeah, not great. I enjoyed it. Thank you, Megan.

Thank you. I want to talk about now, Virgin Australia. I mean, this is really sad. This is the state of it. There was a news story about New Zealand unemployment. 11,000 people had to work. 10,000 of them were females. Yeah.

That's wildly skewed, right? Yeah. And with airlines just not being able to fly or drastically reduce domestic routes, a lot of people are getting laid off. And it's horrible. It's absolutely horrible. Virgin Australia has axed 3,000 jobs. Wow.

Tiger Air's gone. But the thing is, and there's no good way to handle this, and I'm certainly no expert in it, but you don't tell people they're getting a leaving gift unless it's a good leaving gift. Yeah. You're better just to surprise

people if it's nothing of note. People are going through a hard time. They might be looking for some silver lining, and you say, we've got a leaving gift, and you'll... God, if you told me that, my mind would start running wild. What would you think Virgin Australia would give you? I would have thought like a Westfield voucher. Or a hamper.

Some money on it or something. Like a food hamper? Yeah, or like a nice bottle of something that would have been on the plane, but they're not flying. So they're just going to let you have that now? Or a seat. Is that where you think they're just stripping the aircraft for gifts?

Just stripping the aircraft. Okay, right. Of things he won out of it. So people were a little like, what are we going to get? They got a picture of an aeroplane signed by Richard Branson that they could have literally downloaded

and printed off themselves. So they were a little bit like... It says signed, but it's printed signed, right? Like he hasn't gone through and signed 3,000 photos, has he? No, God, no. No, no, no, no, no. Pre, like there was one that he signed and it got scanned in

or his digital signature got imposed on a picture of the. So here's an aircraft. It says always part of the Virgin Australia family. Thank you for your time with Virgin Australia, Richard Branson. So here's an airplane, an aircraft that you had an entire career and, you know, job with. Yeah. Just to remind you that you now don't have a job on that plane. Signed by

the guy who fired you. Yeah, the multi-billionaire. Yeah. I mean, obviously, he's got to make the business decisions. I'm not going to try to judge that horrible time. You can't just pay everybody when there's not the work and everything. Just that.

To say you're getting a gift. Don't give. I'd just rather get nothing. Or don't call it a gift because it's not really a gift. But even we've seen this pre-COVID times when people have been leaving work and they get a gift

and you can see that they're just like, they might've been with the company 10 years or five years and they get this gift and you can see that they're just like, they might have been with the company 10 years or 5 years and they get this gift and you can just see their face, they're like oh, this is what I meant to you. It's so awkward. It's a wild ride when Fletch can look at somebody's face

and read an emotion. But also it's a wild ride when Mr. Robot here can see how to have solved the situation with a bit more thought. That's a see how to have solved the situation with a bit more thought. That's a wild thing to witness. But we've witnessed it a couple of times.

We saw somebody get a radio as a gift when they were basically shunted out of their job after years and years and years. We were like, probably not the best gift. Here's a radio to listen to. Oh, not yourself. Oh, not the radio. And not a Great Radio.

Yeah. Just like, okay, that wasn't well thought through. Not a lot of thought put into that. Yeah. But we'd like to know

this morning, I don't want $100 anymore, you can text 9696. What is the shittest leaving gift? Nothing would have been better. That you've got when you've left the job.

And not necessarily like you were made redundant or like you were just maybe moving on. Yeah, but still, it's a thing to do. If you've got when you've left the job. And not necessarily like you were made redundant or like you were just maybe moving on. Yeah, but still, it's a thing to do. If you've been at a workplace for years and years, you get a gift, right? You get a little something. For your service.

Yeah, thanks for your service. And then everyone writes in a giant card. Yeah. That's what we're always doing, giant cards around here. Well, sadly, Virgin Australia have laid off 3,000 crew and staff and given them a gift. Well, they were promised a gift, which ended up being a signed photo from Richard Branson of a plane.

But not signed personally, signed like, thanks for your long service, Darlene. Yeah. You were a wonderful stewardess or steward. Here's a signed photo. It was literally like printed. Shit-leaving gift, although times are tough. But don't say you've got a signed photo. It was literally like printed. Shit leaving gift, although times are tough.

But don't say you've got a leaving gift. Yeah, I wouldn't have. Just don't just be like, hey, thanks, because I would have gone like. Yeah. Fantastic. I mean, I know what planes look like

and I knew who my boss was, so I don't. Yeah. I don't need that. That's great. Yeah. I don't need that rubbed in my face. Man, we have had so many text messages.

Okay, so we want to know the worst gift that you have ever received. After you've been in a job for ages, ages, Greer, what did you get? I got a $50 voucher for the company that I left. Oh. And they knew I was going to, like, another company in the same realm,

but, no, they still gave me... Oh. Yeah. Someone that left at the same time got a gift basket as well, and it was personalised. Oh, so you were going to the opposition, so you're saying they stiffed you out of a living gift. Do you know what that's like?

Yeah, pretty much. We know what that's like. In fact, we didn't even get a gift. We got nothing. Oh, yeah, no, not good, not good. Yeah, Greer, we know what that's like. In fact, we didn't even get a gift. We got nothing. Oh, yeah, no, not good, not good. That's weird because I got a really good gift. Yeah, you're a bitch. Thanks for your call, Greer.

Anonymous, what leaving gift did you get? Hi, it wasn't actually me. It was my co-worker. Okay, so what did she get? So, Hay. Hay was here for 12 years. Yeah. And he was actually one of our top guys.

And he got given a stationary pen with our logo out of the stationary cupboard. Wow. And that was it. I got a card with it. So, yeah, that was it. He got a pen and a card. And was that pen expensive? No.

Was it just like a... No. Okay. No, it was probably, yeah. We were quite a cheap company. Yeah. It was not very thoughtful. But then we've had girls who have gone on maternity leave coming back

and I've had massive, massive shouts and birthday gifts for the baby and yeah, it was a little bit... That was on the nose, wasn't it? Yeah, anonymous. That seems to be a trend though, grabbing something on the way. Like somebody said they worked at a pharmacy and on the day that someone who had been working there for a very long time was leaving, the boss just literally picked a pair of earrings off that little earring stand when you're getting your ears pierced at the pharmacy and gave it to them, never having looked whether or not they had their ears pierced or not, they didn't. Alex, what was the worst leaving gift you got?

Hi guys, so I dedicated two years of my life to a company and I normally made them cakes every now and again just to celebrate. And whenever I was leaving, they told me to make a cake for my leaving party. And it was basically just an extended lunch break. And they didn't get me anything else. You had to make your own cake. So you were in negative arrears for gifts from that workplace.

You had to give yourself a gift to leave. Yeah, pretty much. I wouldn't have made the cake. None. But then you're not getting anything. I would have done what Octavia Spencer did in that cake on that movie to help. Oh yeah. Larissa, what did you get?

What was the worst leaving gift you got? I got a clothes iron. A clothes iron? To iron your clothes? Yeah, yeah. Maybe it was a hint. I don't know. Yeah, what are they trying to say?

Your wrinkly old blouse. Oh, Larissa's hearing her wrinkly old blouse. Oh, God, he has old wrinkles. That's terrible. I was only 18. I didn't even know what it was for. No, I'm kidding. That's something else, isn't it? That's an interesting move only 18 I didn't even know What it was for That's something else Isn't it That's an interesting move

Yeah wow It's like getting your mum A vacuum for her birthday Yeah I mean You didn't work at Briscoe's Because then they could Just grab one of those Off the shelves

It might be a nice new one Oh yeah true Yeah No no I worked at the New Zealand Pharmaceutical Pricing Office Had nothing to do

With clothes ironing Oh there's lots of money In Big Pharma, isn't there? Okay. Apart from when it comes to leaving gifts. All right, thanks, Larissa. Some text messages. My work colleague got a used mug for her leaving gift

because it turns out they had these mugs with the company's logo on them, but someone had been using them, so they washed it and gave her a mug. That's terrible, isn't it? It's serious. Somebody said, when I was leaving a shop, they literally handed me a plant off the shelf. It was the saddest looking plant on the shelf too. That's what somebody else said. They said they worked somewhere for 23 years and

on the day they left, they got them a really saggy, droopy pot plant. And they said it was really sad because it was kind of like 23 years like come on this person's given you so much service. Yeah. Hey they got paid.

Probably not enough but that's okay. I recently got a lanyard. I left a job after two years. There's nothing on the lanyard. Well like a thing

you put around to swipe into the building. Yeah with the company's nothing on the lanyard. Well, like a thing you put around to swipe into the building. Yeah, with the company's logo on it. Got a little... Because you want to be reminded of that place. Got a little lanyard. A customer gave chocolates to the business to say thanks.

They sat in the staff room for six months when I left. Guess who got the six-month-old chocolates? They would have had a little white coating. Man, there's so many text messages. It's like, yeah. You can draw from this that companies really respect their workers.

Well, you don't love them. Yeah. Really a big fan of thanking them. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, Day, Day, Day. And it's time for our 50K Fact of the Day. All thanks to Save My Bacon, a safe place to borrow money online. We're going to ask you a question about this Fact of the Day

at midday with Georgia and at 4 o'clock with Bree and Clint. $500 is yours if you can get through and answer a question about the fact of the day. Also, just a reminder, you can play along with your very own fact of the day. We've got an Instagram filter. So jump on the gram. Just slide along to filters.

It'll give you a fact. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is about where in the world is the most expensive place to have a date night? Oh, Iceland. Where? Very close. Oh, really? Norway.

Yes. Not surprised. Norway's just an expensive place. So expensive. To do anything, right? Yeah. Oslo comes in as the most expensive place to have a date night in the world, edging out London and Washington

DC. The cost in Oslo for a date night, you might be thinking, hey, Smithy, what's the date night entail? Well, how they did this, and by the way, it was Elite Singles that worked this out. They saw where they had the most

users, and so they dealt with those cities around the world. And what goes into a date night? Dinner for two. Okay. A bottle of wine. Not like a really expensive bottle of wine. Wait. Do what I do.

Yeah. Second cheapest. No, the one that's got the biggest discount. I'm so flunked. No, no, no. On a date night, you're at a restaurant. Oh, yeah. You could be way over. No, no, no. On a date night, you're at a restaurant. Oh, yeah. You could BYO it.

You could BYO it. Yeah. No, I don't think this was BYO. Okay, so don't go for the cheapest. Go for the second cheapest. No, because this is how my wife looks at a wine menu. She's like, that's the cheapest one. That's the one he's going to get.

That's the one. That's the one. Never mind. I know she doesn't say it out loud, but I know she's thinking that. I just get the cheapest one. And I go, ah, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I see the cheapest one, and then I find the second cheapest one, which is only a couple of dollars difference.

Yeah. And I'll be like, oh, you'll have that bottle of Pinot Noir, please. And then it also makes it sound like you're kind of, you know your wine. Yeah. Because you're not going for the cheapest. She doesn't immediately look how much that costs. She just knows that wasn't the cheapest. So she's like, oh, okay.

He's treating me. $2. Five brownie points. He's trading me. $2. Five brownie points. That's a great exchange rate. Your wife has been married to you long enough to know you're a tight ass. She knows. She knows. We went out for dinner last night and I got to the table

and I had a Guinness and she's like, what did you get a Guinness for? I was like, oh, I just thought I'd try it. It was because this guy next to me was like, do you want a Guinness? He's like, I ordered a Guinness, but my mate's gone. I was like, what did you get a Guinness for? I was like, oh, I just thought I'd try it. It was because this guy next to me was like, do you want a Guinness? He's like, I ordered a Guinness, but my mate's gone. I was like, yep. You were such a tight ass. I don't know.

Yeah, and now I'm just thinking back on it. What if he had spiked it? I know, he could have spiked your drink. Compliment received. But no, he didn't. Unbelievable. He didn't. I'm such a tight ass.

So dinner for two, bottle of wine, two movie tickets, and a five-mile taxi ride. Okay. So five miles is 8Ks. 8Ks. Then no movie snacks. No, Megan. Well, just for the purpose of this, no movie snacks.

So Oslo, the most expensive place in New Zealand dollars. I ran this through a currency exchange. You're most welcome. $238 is what that would cost. Wow. That doesn't seem like that much for everything that you're doing. So, yeah. Dinner for two.

Dinner for two. That's for not each. That's combined. That's combined. This is a whole date night of what it would cost. Dinner for two. Bottle of wine. Two movie tickets and an 8K taxi ride. Where was the cheapest? Ankara.

Am I saying that right? Ankara. Ankara in Turkey. Ankara. Okay. That total cost of that was $53.84 New Zealand. Whoa. Is it West New Zealand on the list?

Is that in there? They had a Wellington New Zealand and that was $143.59 oh yeah okay so if you think about that dinner for two 80 bucks

yeah bottle of wine that's not surprising having been in Norway it's so expensive you ever been to Turkey no

no neither I didn't know it would be renowned as a cheap maybe one aspect of that was really cheap in Turkey. Okay. But yeah, they looked into it and how much it encourages people to date

and how regularly they date. And apparently in Oslo, because of the cost, people do date a little less often. Yeah, well, if it's going to cost you that much. Which is interesting. So today's fact of the day is the most expensive city in the world to go on a date where you'll go to the movies, have a bottle of wine, have some dinner, is Oslo, Norway. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Wednesday, the fact of the day,

and people won money from this for the 50K fact of the day, was that the phrase, cool as a cucumber, actually has scientific merit because the inside of a cucumber could be some 20 degrees cooler than the air temperature around it. Yeah. Different if you put a cucumber in a pot of water and heat that water, then it will heat.

Because of its water content, 90% water in a cucumber. And we joked and said, well, maybe MacPak and that should make jackets. Cooling jackets for summer. Cooling for summer out of cucumbers. Yeah. Well, it was a joke. And I said, someone messaged during that break,

I said, well, they're going to take it to the team. The R&D. And you joked at that as well. We laughed. I think we all laughed. Because making a jacket out of a cucumber is a bit ridiculous. But you can see on our Facebook page that they took it and they ran with it. It's been done.

MacPak have made a cucumber jacket. What we've learned is that cucumbers can be up to 20 degrees cooler than the outside temperature, and obviously that's got some significant performance benefits during, you know, hot weather training and so forth. Yeah, so we're seeing some real possibilities here for performance wear. It's a little bit on the heavy side, but, you know, we're thinking there's some performance benefits long term. I've never done a cucumber jacket before. I'm just just following my nose I have no idea what I'm doing. This guy's sewing a jacket. Sewing a jacket with cucumber so you'll see the light colours you know and that sense of freshness.

But then also seasonality is an important thing so we're going to have to consider that as well. You know cucumber seasonality is tricky. They're expensive right now, so this early development is coming at a cost. But, you know, later in the season when they come down in price, you know, we think they'll be fine. Well, that's the vibe, isn't it? Cucumbers get so much cheaper in summer. Yeah.

Yes. Freezing. She puts it on. She says, I'm freezing. I'm actually freezing. I'm cold. Can't take it off. At work.

Actually, they made, made I think quite a funny Little mockumentary Yeah on the development So well done At Matpack HQ And there's photos up So we put the video At our Facebook

FEMZM You can go on Instagram FEMZM There's a picture I think the jacket's Quite chic to be honest It's very cool Well it's almost like

They can slide the cucumbers So if the cucumber Got a bit manky You could slide that one out. Yeah, a fresh new one. A fresh slice. And then maybe leave the jacket in the fridge as well. I mean, we are just an ideas factory for new products.

This is what I've always said. I'm no good with follow through, but if you want ideas, you're there. Ridiculous ideas. Yeah. So thanks to the team at Mac Pack and Christchurch. That is the first time that one of our stupid ideas has actually come to fruition. I know. We literally had nothing to do with this.

They just said, oh, by the way, here's a video. It's like, wow. We've made a cucumber jacket. Incredible effort. So check it out on our Facebook page, FVM ZM. Thanks to Mac Pack. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

We, the other day, none of us can recall how we got onto talking about this. It's probably completely unrelated. But if I'm being totally honest with you, it would not have been, the start of it wouldn't have been anything to do with this. No. It happened. It just somehow got brought up in conversation. That if you've got a wobbly table at your cafe, it's bad for business.

Very bad for business. Oh, I know what it was. It was in the top six uses for the New Zealand passport when the New Zealand passport can't get you overseas because it was the best passport in the world

and I said to jack up the wobbly table at the cafe you go to. That's a good memory. And then I said, Megan, I've been at your cafe and there's been a wobbly table. And you showed zero Fs

as to this wobbly table situation that we as the customer and last time I checked, we were always right. We're telling you that this is a big deal. Yeah. And we said to other people that were going to Boffin Co. to review the tables. To give the table a thorough wobbling.

You said as soon as you left that day to go to the cafeteria that you would sort it out. Yeah. You'd check all tables. Yeah. How did that go? I got busy. You forgot, soon as you left that day to go to the cafeteria that you would sort it out. Yeah. You'd check all tables. Yeah. How did that go? I got busy. You forgot, didn't you?

I had a lot of things to do. Now, you also said that those tables with an adjustable tourney thing. Easy solve. That's a dream situation. If I'm at a cafe and there's a wobbly table, at least if it's that, I can sort it out myself. But also, isn't that on Mr. Toyboy's checklist when he opens up in the morning to check all wobbly tables no it's not on the checklist there's a lot of lot to do like bake all the food you've got a good service you've got to make all the coffees yeah but wobbly tables should be number one open the doors first thing i check wobbly

tables or the last thing you do before you go unbolt, unbolt, click, open for business. Because Jeff says that every day when you open the cafe. Open for business! Okay, nah. Another thing you're doing wrong. How do the people in the village know that you're open for business? I know the lights are on, there's people in there, the doors are

open, the sign that says cafe open. If you run any kind of business, you must open the door and say, open for business. Hear ye. Get the bell. Oh, no. You're getting.

Hear ye. Hear ye. Open for business. I've checked the wobbly tables. Tables aren't wobbly. Coffee's hot. Wow. Treats freshly baked.

We're open for business. Megan received a Google review about her tables. Only because you two went on and on about it that someone's been cheeky on Google, haven't they? Yeah. But, okay, I'll read you the review. Okay. This is from Marty.

Absolutely fantastic food and lovely atmosphere and people. Thank you, Marty. That's lovely. The only annoying thing was the wobbly tables. At least two were wobbly and it was very unpleasant. Apart from that, it was great. Five stars. Because that was my thing.

I was like, you're going to wreck my very good rating if people start giving me joke bad reviews. Don't give joke bad reviews. No. You can give joke five-star reviews. Don't be like, ha-ha, one-star wobbly tables, because I can't take those away. She can respond, but she can't average out your...

You should only get a four-star if you've got wobbly tables. Wobbly tables are such an issue. Well, fix your tables. I'm just saying. So thank you very much to Marty. Thank you, Marty. That was such a lovely review. And rest assured, any wobbly tables will be sorted out.

Tomorrow you won't hear on Otea Valley Road, hear ye, hear ye, we're open for business, until the wobbly tables have been un-wobbly. Zeddy's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, this until the wobbly tables have been un-wobbly.