ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th December 2020

Episode Date: December 6, 2020

Safety Warehouse Shambles  Aussie Police v Spotify  Top 6: Celebs we need to Vaccinate first  Dr Rudi's  Where's My Medal?  12 Days of Fletchmas!  What's the grimmest thing you've seen at a restaurant?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. Vaughan, the Queen's Gambit. It turns out you and producer Jared. Yes. Has he finally beaten me? Well, he's smoking from the minute we started.

I was like, I've I've lost. So you are two nerd features are playing chess against each other on the phone. Yes. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Oh, what a year. He's checkmated me there.

Well done. Well done. What do you call that? What is that opening? Well, it was actually a mistake. My first move was an accident. Oh, okay. But then I recovered and had you in a five-way checkmate at the end.

Yeah, I know. There was nothing I could do. I moved one and I was like, after I've moved that, I just don't know what I could do. Right. Is that your first five-way? It is my first five-way. My first five-way, yeah, great.

It's a pleasure to be in the first five-way with you. Yeah, it was an honour and a pleasure, sir. Right, so what happens now to start again?

We could start again or we could take a deep dive into the analysis behind it all. Oh, can you re-watch it? Yep, it tells you like,

it tells you what mistakes you made, what was your best move. Oh, I didn't make a good move. I made 23 see this is why i can't bring myself to watch a show everyone says it's great but i'm just like is this what it is no it's not that chess dependent right nah it's real drammary who's got the squeaky door gary gary gary with his squeaky door can we get a bit of crc for that door? Let's get some CRC. I'll put it on my list.

This place is falling to bits. Have you seen my tile? Come and look at my tile under my desk. Look at this. Carpet tile? Yeah. Don't get me started on carpet tiles. I hate carpet tiles.

Look at this carpet tile. Look at this. My chair. My chair keeps it. Look, I can see the bloody concrete. My friend sent me a photo of his office recently, and I said, you need to go about replacing the carpet squares that are directly under the wheels.

Because that's the idea of the carpet square, right? It's so you can replace them without having to replace your whole carpet. Well, they need some glow or something. To hold yours down. Made in Japan. I would have expected better from them. The Japanese. I wouldn't have expected something like that to be made in Japan.

Not anymore. No, I don't know where you get expected something like that to be made in Japan. Not anymore. No, I don't know where you get carpet tiles from, to be honest. I would have assumed a Southeast Asian country. Maybe Indonesia because of the rubber. Okay, I think I've got to put it back. Get that all lined up. Stomp that on. And then you stomp it in, but then my chair wheel hits it.

Yeah, and it'll dislodge it. Yeah, there's one of those in that meeting room. Sometimes we have a meeting and when I swing on my chair, it just moves the carpet square. They must have a few spears. You'd think they'd have spears. should get the carver squares replaced with white ones and make this room a giant chess board then play some queen's gambit awesome what's the one i like checkers because that's better easier yeah yeah chinese checkers that was where you did the jumping it was more like backgammon? Never played it.

Never played that. For I've seen it. Pass the Pigs? Did you ever play Pass the Pigs? Yeah, I played Pass the Pigs. That was a wonderful game. That was a good game, that one. ZM.

Head music. Lives here. Fletchfawn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletchfawn and Megan. Minus Megan.

No Megan. No Megan. She got, oh, she got on the lash at her baby shower. Obviously she didn't. Obviously not, no. Just feeling a little under the weather today. Dare I say it might be a case of diarrhea. Yeah.

Explosive diarrhea. It's what happens when you call in sick. Everyone just assumes you've got diarrhea. We will assign you the diarrhea diagnosis. You will be assigned an illness 90% of the time. It's diarrhea. All right. God, I just saw the date, the 7th of December.

I know. That is nuts. Saw that earlier. And I have to do. You've had this date attached and I have not done it. That does not surprise me at all.

I've got to do it later than downtime. I think a lot of people have mentally checked out of work. We've got a couple of weeks left. Uh-huh. Warm down. It's really important to warm down. It is. You don't want to just stop.

This is like the stretches afterwards. It really is. The next two weeks are just the warm down stretches. The top six is coming up. And the queen is getting the COVID vaccine. She's going to be one of the first. I've got the top six other British national treasures that need that vaccine ASAP. Next on the show, though, there's a new expensive fashion item.

Yes, a very carb-heavy handbag. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. I may remember a light that looked like a bread item. Yeah, this was Gwyneth Paltrow was selling this. Was it on Goop? On a Goop website. Surprise, surprise was Gwyneth Paltrow was selling this. Was it on Goop? On a Goop website.

Surprise, surprise. Yep. It was a lamp, there was a loaf of bread that had been hollowed out and dipped in resin and you put a bulb

over the top of it and it was like a... Yeah, it was a Pampshade Bataard bread lamp. Right. And I believe

$210 US. Well, I can beat that because this is $1,500 New Zealand dollars for a handbag that looks like a baguette. Like one that mum would use to make garlic bread? Or it's a French stick, isn't it? That's a French stick.

That's bougie, though. Your mum does a bougie garlic bread. Well, this was back in the day. Why is that bougie? Well, my mum just bought the ones wrapped in tinfoil that were ready to go. That's bougie. It had an old lady on the front. No, because what did your mum do with the garlic?

We had some of those sometimes as well, those ones. What was your mum's process for doing a garlic bread? I'm fascinated with different... I think it was just literally mixed butter with garlic. I remember when I found out about herb butter. Oh, okay. You could buy the garlic butter and so you could... Mix butter with garlic. I remember when I found out about herb butter. Oh, okay. And you could buy the garlic butter and so you could,

because that was my only gripe with the old tinfoil bad boy. There wasn't enough in there. They were too thin. Yeah. Very heavily salted. And there wasn't enough butter. Yeah, well, you could always add your own. Yes.

That's what I found out. I found out one family had garlic butter. Yep. And they would just like lather a loaf of bread in it and then make their own garlic bread. There's nothing worse than getting a garlic bread and it's just got a smidgen of butter. Not enough. Not enough.

You need that thing soaking. You want to bite into that and it dribbles down your chin. You shut up. These ones are in a plastic bag and they're long. And rather than sliced, it's just one slice that cuts the whole thing in half. And then there's baking paper between the layers. So you only have to cook one at a time.

Right. And there's butter on each. An amazing amount of butter, garlic, and parsley. Right, okay. Because that's the parsley never gets mentioned when everyone's on and on about garlic bread. But parsley's the little green bits in it, isn't it? Yeah, I could go without that. Yeah, but it adds a certain je ne sais quoi

of texture and colour to the garlic bread. Anyway, this baguette handbag by Moschino. We're saying that right? I don't know. Megan's the fashionista. She's not here. We're saying that right? Do you know what this is?

No, I think it's machino. Machino. Michelle, I think it's machino. I think it's machino, Vaughan. Well, it's machino then. This is the latest thing added to their lineup of bread-based items. Yeah. There's a 400 and, so let's just roughly say around $900 clutch bag with a sandwich on the front.

A triangular piece of cake bag. Oh, see, that's me. That'd be me. Yeah, a croissant on a chain. Right. For 758 pounds. So, yeah, over $1,500 now. Jeez, okay.

And the baguette bag, which looks like a baguette. And none of which are edible. And also none of which look any good. You what? Look, it's a bit tacky. Oh, you reckon? Just a smidge. Just a little bit. Just a little.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. While the backlash grows today, the safety warehouse at the weekend, you may have seen this on the news. This shit was wild. It was like, I thought it was quite funny at first, but then it got quite sad because people had driven up from like, there was one guy that drove up from Palmerston North

with the hope of getting all this cash money that was meant to be dropped from the sky. I can't believe I didn't hear anything about it in the lead up. I thought I am talking to some friends at the weekend. Their friends had tagged, someone had tagged them in the post. Right. So the idea was you went down to add to your score.

I believe you needed a ticket though, an entry ticket. Is that right? I don't know. And they were going to drop a hundred thousand000 from the sky or from cash cannons. And if you were there, you could grab the cash and you'd go home with that cash. But it turns out a lot of people only got fake cash. The fake $5 notes giving you discounts to the safety warehouse website.

30% off, right? Yeah. Now, the under fire boss of the safety warehouse has defended the controversial giveaway, saying it's been unfairly characterized as an event with fake money. He's claiming they gave away $100,000 and $40,000 worth of those fake $5 notes. Right.

So they're saying the $100,000 did get dropped. Yes. I'm going to need to see a bank. Who got it all then? I'm going to need to see a bank withdrawal. Because surely if it had, there would be people who went who would be putting their hand up and saying, well, actually, I got $1,000.

And I'm not saying- Or I got a couple of hundred bucks. The only, like, videos and TikToks that I've seen from that event are people with fake money and people chasing them out of the event. Well, people TikTok-ing. I saw Facebook Live. Yeah, I saw a few and people with, like, the fake money. Oh, God.

There's, like, look at this. This is the story on the New Zealand Herald website. Giant blue button that you can press. Did you receive money at the event? If you did, let us know. But as yet, nobody's... Because I haven't seen anyone saying, yeah, here's a big wad of cash I got from the event.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But pretty ballsy for them to come out and say, oh, we definitely gave away $100,000. But yet there's nobody saying, yes, I got cash. Everyone is disappointed or seems disappointed. In the Facebook Live video

that I see is embedded in that story that my wife sent me and was just like, you've got to have a look at this. I know, this is going nuts on Saturday afternoon. One $5 note was all that anybody in that video found.

One real $5 note. All the other $5 notes or things that look like $5 note was all that anybody in that video found. One real $5 note. All the other $5 notes or things that look like $5 notes were. Because they look like $5 notes, the discount vouchers. Yeah, they were vouchers, yeah. So you can imagine people's surprise. Five green back it says on it because somebody, yeah, has put up the massive pile of money that they got, none of which was real, all of which were vouchers.

Wow. That's a whole lot. Surely if they gave away $100,000, there should be a bank withdrawal receipt, right? Well, yeah, even businesses worth enough money to give away $100,000. That's the other thing to me. It seems like an insane amount of money. $100,000. For like a website that sells PPE gear. And if it was all in $5 notes

that's $20,000 $5 notes. You think about how many like a wad of notes. You would have had to be shooting those out of like cannons multiple times. Yeah and how would you have got them there? Yeah. You would have needed bags. You think when you see a bundle

of notes and it's like 20 notes, so there's going to be a thousand of those bundles. How did they get them all down there? It's all very, very suspicious. And as you say, there'll be a bank because you have to go to the bank to get that much cash out. Yeah, show that if you you've got to get the $5 notes from the bank, so

you've got to order them. So show the receipts. Yeah. That would be super easy to do, and then we'll all shut up. But at this stage, there's been a petition set up as well, a change.org petition, demanding people with vouchers be paid real money.

Who would have held onto their vouchers, though? I would have ditched that. I would have, yeah, I would have chucked them out as well, yeah. I just would have thrown it away in the middle. And the man that came up from Palmerston North, somebody hooked him up with a bit of cash. Yeah, there was a story.

He didn't have much money. He drove up, spent the last of his money. That was the saddest thing, is that people are struggling real bad at the moment. Yeah. So it's been the worst year ever. It was a big burly trail of... Yeah, basically.

...come from far and wide for your chance to win $100,000. Yeah, so we'll see how this story pans out over the week. Last week, everyone was sharing their Spotify 2020. This is the song I listen to most. So many times I listen, so many minutes I spent listening to the song. Yep. The Australian Federal Police. This is Federal Police in Australia, not State Police.

This is like the FBI. No, that's a Bureau of Investigation. That's like next level. But they're called the Feds, aren't they? In Australia? No, in America, aren't they? They call them the feds. The FBI? Yeah. I think slang for them is

yeah. So they'd be like the federal police. I also don't know if America has federal police. Yeah, I get real confused over there because they've got police and then they've got sheriffs. Which are an elected official. And then they've got... Who answered to nobody. Who was Chuck Norris? He was a Walker, Texas Ranger. And then they've got... Who answered to nobody. Who was Chuck Norris?

He was a... He was a Walker, Texas Ranger. Yeah, they've got Rangers. All these forces in different places. Yeah. So just have one. It's a big country with lots of states. They all want different things.

Well, the Australian Federal Police on Facebook said, PSA, no one cares about your Spotify top songs. It isn't illegal or anything. I just thought you should know. The Federal Police posted that on Facebook said, PSA, no one cares about your Spotify top songs. It isn't illegal or anything. I just thought you should know. The federal police posted that on Facebook. Wow. And Spotify, the official Spotify account replied, okay, Australian Fun Police.

And Australian Federal Police said, serious question, can you make a playlist of just Ya Ya Ding Dong on repeat? Ya Ya Ding Dong is the song from A Song of Fire and Ice. Right. Will Ferrell, Rachel McAdams, Eurovision movie.

Did they reply to that? The Spotify said, what do you reckon? Like, what do you reckon? Oh, you're right, okay.

I think they were trying to do like Australian slang and that's gone too far now. That's a bit it. Yeah, right. About it,

yeah. Just by the time we got to the end of that, I think everyone was like, well, someone's either got And that's gone too far now. That's a bit about it. Yeah. Just by the time we got to the end of that, I think everyone was like, well, someone's either got to make a king hit, kill this convo, or leave it be. Yeah. I think they've left it be. The war between the Australian police and Spotify is over for now.

PlayStation 5s are hugely sought after. Christmas present. I don't know what the deal is in New Zealand, but I remember reading in Australia, like, you're tough out of luck this year. You'll probably get them next year if you ordered them at the moment for Christmas. Yeah, some stage in the future.

Because of COVID, the production delays. Yeah. Or the production of them have been somewhat delayed. Well, demand has reached fever point to the point where there's been high speed heists

of gangs trying to get them off trucks that are transporting them. Right. Like in America. Yeah. Yeah.

Huh. Like Fast and the Furious. Fast up behind trying to jump on the truck to undo it to get them out to... Wouldn't you just like stop the truck and then get them? Get up behind, try to jump on the truck to undo it, to get them out. Or didn't you just like stop the truck and then get them? Get them off, you'd think so.

Seems easier. Yeah, much easier. Or just like wait at a truck stop until he goes and gets a pie. Because you know they will. Or wait until he's pulled over in a side of the road rest area to play with himself, which is actually recommended by doctors if you are a truck driver. Is it really? Yeah, it counts as a break in your logbook.

Oh, okay. Right. You know, it's good for you. Do you have to write that down in the logbook? Yep. You just put break. Yeah, just put break. And then when they're deep in the throes of doing that

in the sleeper part of the back of their truck. Uncouple the truck. Uncouple the trailer. Take the whole trailer in your own truck or just unload as many as you can carry into the back of your car. Or don't steal. Where is this actually happening?

The States. Right, okay. Where there are plentiful PS5s. Well, I don't even know if it's plentiful there. Because there's obviously demand why people are stealing them. Demand to the point where people are stealing them. Wow. But yeah, some place must have had the orders in,

which has proven that it's... Well, you know, I've just looked online. Yeah, I mean, I can get a controller here from Mighty Ape in some places. But you've got to have... That's no good unless you've got something to control. It'd be like buying a leash for your dog and you don't have a dog. It's just been said, really. But you're just waiting.

You'll get a dog one day. Yeah, and boy, you'll have that leash ready when you do. What does that say there? You've got that open. Well, I can get all of the... I can get all of the...

The accessories, but not actually the unit. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a bit of a wait on some of the units. There's a bit of a wait. Wow, that's crazy.

Hmm. Hmm. Well, I'll go on. It's pretty good. Well, what if you wanted to buy one for someone for Christmas? Would you just buy them a box and then say it's coming? Or a controller and be like, the other part's coming one day. Would that have flown if you were a kid at Christmas?

No. No, because you want it then and there. You got something for Christmas and Dad didn't have batteries and none of the shops were open to get batteries. And we're not buying them from the petrol station on the way to your grandparents. Do you have any idea how much batteries cost from the petrol station?

Yeah. The only people that buy them there are the really desperate people and that's why they can price gouge them. That was what I thought. At least a couple of Christmases. So you'd have to wait until at least Boxing Day to get the cheap batteries.

Yeah, Boxing Day sales, get some cheap batteries. But the cheap batteries never lasted as long. No. No, they didn't. All right, the top six. And therein lies the ultimate situation. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast, ZM. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The Queen has said she will be getting the COVID-19 vaccine when available to the public.

But, oh, I don't need to headline. The Queen will reportedly have to wait in line to receive the COVID-19 vaccine. But she said her and Prince Philip are going to be hopefully going to be getting it this side of Christmas. Yeah. And some celebs are doing it of Christmas. Yeah. Yeah.

And some celebs are doing it on TV. Yeah, public opinion. Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister, has said he'll get it live on television. I am, because even watching the news last night, it's been upsetting me how many times I'm seeing injections, because I can't even look in movies when they're fake. Right. I have to look away.

I don't like seeing. And they've just been showing heaps of footage of people getting needles. Yeah. Willie Nellie and I'm like, ugh. The needle's in there. Yeah, I don't like it. What about the old swab up the nose? See, that's all right.

It's just the needles. Maybe just because I know the injection's ouchies. I'm like, ugh. It's not that ouchies. It's not that ouchies, but I don't want to see it on the news. It's like a little pinch. Well, I've got the top six other British national treasures that need that vaccine. Okay.

Priority order. I was going to say Deirdre from Coronation Street, but remember she died? I can't remember her dying. Five years ago she died. Oh, wow. Okay. I couldn't believe it. Unbelievable.

But then I was like, I do remember she wasn't well. On the show or in real life? I just remember Coronation Street. No, in real life. Oh, wow. Okay. I couldn't believe it. Unbelievable. But then I was like, I do remember she wasn't well. On the show or in real life? No, in real life. Oh, okay. I wanted a Coronation Street reference in there, but I can't do it for you. Number six on the list of the British National Treasures that need vaccinating, Nigella Lawson. Who's going to gob down those butter sticks and Whittaker's chocolates?

This is true. If Nigella goes and kicks the bucket. Yep. We need her yummy recipes. Yeah. Hello, chocolate lovers. Hello, vaccine lovers. Get one of these in your arm.

Penetrates the skin. Number five on the list of the top six of the British national treasures that need that vaccine, Rita Ora. And the way she keeps flouting rules, she'll bloody well need it. I know she was flouting more rules at the weekend. So it came to light that before her party, she had that party. Yep.

The 30th. And she got fined. Yeah, she got fined for that. She'd just been to Egypt and back on a private jet for like a private gig six-figure payday. Yep. And got back and didn't isolate for like a private gig six-figure payday. Yep. And got back and didn't isolate for two weeks before she threw her party. So she literally like could have dragged COVID back.

Yeah, but would you go to the Middle East to do a six-figure concert? Yeah, but I'd take two weeks off when I got back. Shit, six figures, I'd take six months off. Yeah, fair call. You just got six figures. Number four on the list of the top six other British national treasures

that need that vaccine, Stephen Fry. Oh, yeah, he is. Who will read all the audio books if Stephen Fry can't? Yeah. It's a lovely voice. Oh, lovely man.

Yeah, lovely man. Remember that time he replied to your tweet about the cricket? That's right. He did too. That's right. Yeah. Number three on the list

of the top six of the British national treasures that need that vaccine are Sir David Attenborough. Oh, yeah. He's the same age as the Queen and she's going to get it. Yeah.

I mean, we've got to prepare that. We must prepare ourselves. He's... I think he kind of semi-prepared us how he joined Instagram, did a little bit, and then he's like, I quit Instagram.

Yeah. And so that was like preparing us for when he's like, I quit Instagram. And so that was like preparing us for when he's like, I quit life. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six other British national treasures that need that vaccine, Helen Mirren. Oh, yeah. Just because where else are you going to find a 75-year-old that's that hot?

Yeah. Very attractive lady. And number one on the list of the top six other British national treasures that need that vaccine, Bradley Walsh from The Chase. I thought you were going to say Mr. Blobby's not on the list at all. I don't know if you can vaccinate a blobby. They might be immune. Yeah, but what if they're not?

But his system would be different to ours. His immune system would be different to ours. Yeah, I'd never thought about that. Because he's not human, right? I don't know. He's a blobby. Yeah, he's a blobby. So their immune system would be different to ours. Yeah, I'd never thought about that. Because he's not human, right? I don't know. He's a blobby. Yeah, he's a blobby. So their immune system would be different.

He might either already be immune to it or be... Give it to Bradley Walsh. ...like, consensual to it. Give it to Bradley Walsh. We can't not have the chase. No, I know. Exactly. What will we do before the news?

The other chasers, they're two metres away because they're up the ramp. Yeah, they're fine. They're at the top in their little chair. But those contestants could be giving it to Bradley. They're coming in willy-nilly. So give it to Bradley Walsh. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Well, maybe you've got that Monday feel, that feel of... The big case of the CBFs. Yeah, like, you know Christmas is a few weeks away. You're just getting through work. Maybe the mood's a little lower than it normally is at this time of year

because there's a lot of Christmas partying as well. Well, a psychologist in a study's been done. Christmas music actually boosts your mood. Oh, Jesus. Why did that?

Went right through my brain and made my teeth rattle. So that's not having the desired effect for you? Well, it's just that xylophone part. Really hits home. I noticed the other day when we did it too. Can we check what that audio file looks like? I feel like the start's been...

Boosted? Literally started again. Like, you can feel the... See? Like, it really goes right into your teeth. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that's how Mar Like, it really goes right into your teeth. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that's how Mariah wanted it.

I think that's fine. This part's fine. This part's fine. It's just that xylophone at the start. You're anti-xylophone. Yeah. Well, I'm anti... I don't want word coming out that I'm anti-xylophone

or marimba or any of the... Right, okay. ...sort of keyed instruments, the percussion keyed instruments. But just that particular recording really gets in there. or any of the sort of keyed instruments, the percussion keyed instruments. But just that particular recording really gets in there. Well, a psychologist at the private therapy clinic, Dr Becky Spellman,

says that Christmas songs do cheer us up. They bring back fond memories of our childhood and stimulate excitement for the forthcoming season. Right. I can't really remember. Maybe that's, what would have been our Christmas, when I was a kid, Snoopy's Christmas. Snoopy's Christmas. Because, yeah, when I was a little kid, this song wasn't out.

So basically the songs are bright and cheery, they stimulate the brain, endorphins are released, and you're feeling better. What about that, the Pogues Christmas song? Fairy Tale of New York. You know that song? Yeah. And then when you're a kid. What about that, the Pogues Christmas song? Fairy Tale of New York. You know that song? Yeah. And then when you're a kid, you're like, oh, it's that Christmas song.

And then when you get a bit older, you listen to the lyrics and you're like, this is a horrendous story of domestic violence. Yeah. And like a couple that are falling to bits in a city that's in the doldrums. But what a great Christmas song. Right. Well, I'm just saying if you're feeling a little bit down, a little bit moody this morning on a Monday, Christmas songs.

Yeah, but then if you work in retail, it will just remind you of ungrateful customers. Yeah. Constant complaints. Well, and that's the thing. It says it reminds you of your childhood as a kid. If that was a horrible childhood and Christmases were rubbish, it's going to have the opposite effect, isn't it? I stopped working at the petrol station

just before the Christmas break when I worked at a petrol station for $5 an hour before tax. Which was illegal. Which was a while ago, but still was illegal. Yeah. And the Christmas music,

the toilet had its own speaker. Oh, yeah. So often cleaning the toilet would be linked to some Christmas songs. Right. So that just takes you back to a time where you had to clean toilets and work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just thinking, Eve, if you worked in retail and you had to clean the toilets. Yeah, right.

Why didn't you join the union and get better wages? I was 17. I didn't know about unions. They like to keep us in the dark. You've got to eat the pies, though. That was a good thing. Take home the dirty magazines with the covers taken off. Because they'd send the covers back.

Wow. They'd be like, this one didn't sell. And then would they chuck it out, but you'd get it out of the bin? Pretty much. Yeah, wow. Okay. It's a real coming-of-age tale. I don't think it's going to make a Hollywood movie.

A coming of age tale about a man, a young boy working at a service station. It's called Magazines, He Found It In The Bin. Yeah. It was a clean bin. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

I thought, I've heard this wrong when this story was in the news. I was like, I've bloody heard that wrong. Can't be it, mate. Must be in gun riddled somewhere else. America. Yeah. Yeah. But it was in New Zealand.

A gun was fired in a New Zealand nightclub or, you know, a bar. Yeah. Which you'd been to earlier in the day. I know. I was 14 hours away. I went for lunch at Dr Rudy's on Saturday, yeah. I went there last summer. Could have been me.

Could have been. I popped in for a beer. We had a work function there last year. It could have been me again. Yeah, well, I didn't go to that, so it definitely couldn't have been me. No, it wouldn't have been you. I didn't go to that work function, but I have been there. It could have been me again. Yeah, well, I didn't go to that, so it definitely couldn't have been me. No, it wouldn't have been you. I didn't go to that work function, but I have been there.

It could have been me. We actually, a while ago on the show, lived someone's dream of turning off the escalators. Yeah, somebody's dreams come true segment. Dreams come true.

They wanted to push the stop button on an escalator. And they did that. The lovely people at Dr. Rudy's let us do that. Yeah, and then we saw that escalator at the weekend news story because a gun was shot off. Apparently, people were asked to leave the bar.

And after they left the bar, in the foyer outside at the escalators, which has a glass roof that runs up the escalator, a shot was fired into the air. And glass everywhere. Producer Jared, you were actually, we were hours away from losing you. You were there, what, an hour before.

It could have been me, guys. It could have been me. It could have been you. When did you leave? We left town at maybe 1.30. Okay, do you see anyone with a... What time did this gun thing happen? Like 2.30? Yeah, 2-ish.

2-ish in the morning? I saw many suspicious characters, but I do you see anyone with a... What time did this gun thing happen? Like 2, 3? Yeah, 2-ish. 2-ish in the morning? I saw many suspicious characters, but I didn't see anyone. Do you see any gun holsters? No. No. Concealed carry, I think. Did you carry on from Megan's baby shower all the way through? Oh, yeah.

We pushed through. You pushed on through? Wow. The youngins. It was a big day. Have you had something to eat? Did you have something to eat? Yeah, I had a chip or two.

Good. Good to have a chip. Got to have something in the stomach, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah, got to have a couple of chips. Wow. Okay, so you weren't, yeah, right, so not there when it happened. No, thank God.

God, I would have bloody shit myself. Oh, yeah. People were hiding under the tables. It would have been terrifying. Yeah. Mm. When they shot up, do you think they thought they were shooting into, was the glass so clean?

You know how sometimes you think the the ranch Oh, sparrows sometimes. Sparrows hit the windows because you've cleaned them too good. Sparrows and old people. You've got to have, please, anybody with a ranch slider have a strip across it. Or like, please have a large fog strip across because you'll probably have old people come and see you over

the Christmas period. And they'll walk straight through. And they'll walk straight into that. Yeah, or just don't clean your ranch lighter. That's another good reason for not cleaning it. That's a good point. And if you have, especially if it doesn't have that divider halfway through, if you've just got one big pane of glass, oh yeah, you're going to come to, someone's going to come to mischief on that.

So I'm reading a stat, more than 350 people shot in five years. What? Across Auckland. How many? 350 people. Shot across five years? Yeah. So there's like one every five days.

As gang and drug wars surge. Because there was an incident in a strip club a few weeks back where there was a gun as well. Goodness me. How did she get the gun out on stage? I don't think it was Where did she have that?

It wasn't a stripper Oh she might have come out Yeah you're thinking of those Thailand shows Where they Yeah right She might have come out Dressed as a nun perhaps Yeah

And then opened up Or as a police woman Yes And no one would have thought No one would have given second thought To the gun on her hip I can't believe that gun This is why I stay at home Me too And go home early Yes, and no one would have given second thought to the gun on her hip. I can't believe that gun. This is why I stay at home.

Me too. And go home early. Me too. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Marou. Your gold medalist. Where's my medal? That's right.

It's a segment of the show where we celebrate small victories. Too much emphasis put on big things like solving crises, inventing vaccines. Oh, my God. Will they stop giving praise to scientists? We get it. You're brainier than us. But what about those little things? What about the small victories?

Those little things you finally get around to doing. That's what we celebrate in this segment. And we believe, joining us on the phone with her story of triumph, albeit small or great or medium-sized. Christina, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. Now, Christina Christina what did you finally get

around to doing why do you deserve a medal so a couple months ago I bought a new lamp for my bedroom last week I threw out the box Wow where did you put the box when you unboxed the lamp? So it was actually really in the way because I put the box, the really large box, in front of my drawers, and every morning I would have to move the box to get into my drawers and then move the box back. Right. You're just like, I could just throw it out.

So it was there for months. Well, you see, I thought if I put it somewhere that's in the way, I will throw it out. Yeah. Well, you did. It just took a long time. So, okay, did you flatten the box or did you just stomp it? Oh, no, the box was just like.

It's still in box form. Okay, so you didn't do that thing where you cut the tape that holds it together and fold it flat. Oh, no, that's so much effort. So where did the box go then? Where has it gone? Into the recycling bin. Oh, what brilliant. Taking up more than its fair share of space in there as well.

That's good though, that's good. Brilliant. All right, Christina. Thanks, Christina. Wait there, Michaela, good morning. Good morning. Why do you deserve a medal? Well, this weekend we had eggs for breakfast and it all got sunk in the sinkhole and I was going to just put the plug on top

and ignore it and push it through the grate with a fork. But I didn't. I scooped it out. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's actually gross when you have to get your fingers in the plug hole and smear it around and like a little pinchy thing with your thumb.

And it drips. And it drips on the way to the bin. Even one of those sinks that has like a little drain sieve-y thing and you have to pick that thing up and you're just like. Yeah. And somehow a lettuce bit always gets under that. Yeah. And you've got to chase around the soggy little bit of lettuce.

All right. Good on you for doing that. Good on you. Michaaela all right um our meta ceremony in just a minute uh let's go to melanie first though our final contestant this morning melanie why do you deserve a medal hi um well i've finally got to the age where i at the end of the night out i actually take my makeup off. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. I'm pretty proud of it. So you did this at the weekend, did you? Yeah. So I went to a BYO on Friday. Obviously had a few

bottles of wine there and then we went back to our place to play some cards, drink some more and then I almost passed out on the couch but I took my makeup off before I went to sleep. Was it confronting looking at yourself in the mirror as a big drunken mess? Yeah, it was.

Because the first time I tried to make it up, I smeared mascara all down my face. Yes. Yeah. Because I've given myself a pep talk in the inebriated state, but I haven't been removing my pretty paint at the same time. It's just been ugly old mud at the start and at the end I haven't got progressively worse.

Executive intern Anya, is this a big deal? Oh yeah. What's your do you when you get home from a big night at the clubs? I've got wipes and sometimes Andy will have to. No! You get Mr Bun Buns to wipe your face?

Yeah, if I've like started falling asleep And it hates me What, so you're like You're like, Mr Bun Buns, I'm going now Wipe me I'm like, Mr Bun Buns, I don't want these pores clogged Please assist Wipe, wipe, wipe

Wow, alright, it's time for our medal ceremony Wow, these are three great Yeah, very hard this morning These are great Don't start the medal ceremony. Oh, these are three great. Yeah, very hard this morning. These are great. Don't start the medal ceremony music. We haven't conferred about what's possibly going to be gold, silver and bronze. It's all right. The bronze ceremony music is four minutes long, Vaughn.

Oh, great. That should give us just enough time. For the judges to deliberate. Man, I don't know. What do you reckon? What do you reckon? Who's bronzed? You can hold up a finger to indicate, or three fingers.

You reckon bronze is... I don't know. It's so hard. Do you like all of these this week? Yeah, me too. I reckon that's your silver. And then this could go either way. I reckon... what about this?

Okay, yeah. Your call. Yeah, okay. Big Daddy Vaughn's decided. He's taking control. Show me again. Yeah, okay, killed her. Killed her.

Killed her. Bronze medal today for services rendered to her own face by taking off makeup before she drunkenly passed out on the couch. Congratulations and welcome to the new age of maturity, I guess. Mel, congratulations. You honestly could have been gold. This was really hard today. Usually I have a standout favourite, but I like all of them today.

Yeah. Silver today. For services to sink plugs everywhere. And being like... Having to deal with it. She cleaned out the sink plug when it had remnants of... What were the eggs, Michaela? Scrambled eggs?

No, they were poached. Oh. It's extra slimy. Yeah. Who doesn't finish all their poached egg, though? Eggs are gross. What, so you didn't finish the poached egg? Oh, that's a bronze medal for me.

I wish I'd known. I wish I'd known that as well. In my mind, it was scrambled. But it's just like we found out when she's been taking performance enhancing drugs.

We've got a patootch stick in our hands. Well, Michaela, it's too late now. Silver medal is yours. Congratulations. Thank you.

And that means months after she got a lamp and took it out of the box and put the box in the most inconvenient place because that would have hastened her disposal

of the box. It did not. It did not. She's finally got rid of the box but she did not flat pack the box. She just pushed that in the recycling bin.

Probably to the point where the truck comes and tips the recycling bin upside down. The box won't come out. And she'll be stuck with a whole month's worth of recycling. Yeah. And she's got no one to blame but herself.

Congratulations. Today's gold medal winner, Christina. Is this your first gold medal? It is. Yeah. Congratulations. You deserve it. I can't wait to hear about the lamp blowing a bulb

and you just never replacing the bulb. Congratulations. Thank you. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. And we are 17 days away from Christmas. 17. So 17, 7th of December today. What day of the week is Christmas this year?

Hold on, I'm just looking up iCal. It's a Friday. It's a Friday. It's a Friday. So this Friday, it'll be two weeks. People are going to tank off all of that week before Christmas.

Most people, like not this weekend. Next weekend will be the last weekend for most people. What do you reckon people will work through? Are you yawning? No, I was yawning silently so that nobody heard.

But I think it was just looking at my calendar because I've got it scheduled and when our holiday starts and it made me like... Want sleep. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I get that.

A little forlorn for the old sleeping. I think so because you know how like the day before Christmas is so much Christmas admin yeah and then maybe the day before that is also a bit heavy

on the Christmas admin you might be travelling so you wouldn't want to leave it till the Thursday to travel yeah but then maybe leaving it on a Tuesday would be a good travel day Tuesday?

Tuesday probably would be my travel day if I was going to travel that week. So we are that far away from Christmas. A list from studyfinds.org, which basically just runs surveys nonstop, has surveyed what people want for Christmas. And these are some of the things. You've got the top 10.

Exercise equipment. 20% of people would be happy to receive exercise equipment. Don't give me exercise equipment. No. That's number 10. That's the lowest one. Right. Okay. Exercise equipment. 20% of people would be happy to receive exercise equipment. Don't give me exercise equipment. No. It's just number, that's number 10. That's the lowest one. Okay, right. Okay.

Well, no, number 10 is other, but I was just going to skip other. Okay. Because that's everything. That's everything in the world, isn't it? Yeah, that's stupid. They'd be happy to receive. But only 10% of people would be happy to receive things other than what you're about to hear. Books, 22%.

Okay. Maybe it was a book I really, really wanted, but don't make an assumption on my book choice. Yep. This is also great going into Secret Santa. Have you done your Secret Santa for work yet? Nah, I'm a bit stuck on that, to be honest. Food or drink, 24%. Okay. Would be happy to receive that.

I thought that would be higher. Like a nice bottle of spirits or like a really nice bottle of wine that, you know, someone likes. I'd be happy to receive that. Very happy to receive that. Computer accessories are in at 26%. Or like a mouse pad.

I hope no one gets me a mouse pad. Or a webcam. Or a mouse pad for Christmas. Smartphone accessories are just above that on 28%. So what, like a new cover? Yeah, a new cover maybe or a charger. Yeah, a new charger would never go astray. Fashion accessories, 33%.

See, I don't want people assuming my fashion accessory choice. Yeah. So that's risky business. 37% of people would be happy with household items. What, like a toaster? Tread carefully under that. Like, vacuum cleaner might not be what they had in mind. Yeah, because then you're saying, hey, here's a lifetime of work.

Yeah. Merry Christmas. Unless it's a robot vacuum cleaner. Oh, that'd be cool. Which I'm thinking I might get shut out for Christmas. She wasn't for them until, this is classic though, she wasn't for something until her mum told her it was a good idea. Oh, right.

See, I'd need a ramp because I've got stairs. I've got a couple of step ups. You got any more of that carpet when you got your place done? You got any leftover carpet? No. I've got a carpet similar. I could make you a ramp because I've got stairs. I've got a couple of step ups. You got any more of that carpet when you got your place done? You got any leftover carpet? No. I've got a carpet similar. I could make you a ramp for Christmas. And then we carpet it.

But the carpet would look a different colour. That's what I was thinking. Unless we went pink or something. But you would want it to be a slightly different shade because you wouldn't want someone standing on it thinking that it's a stair. They could really hurt themselves. Can a robot vacuum cleaner get up a ramp?

That is a great question. Surely they've tested it. How steep would the ramp have to be? What gradient? We'll say what gradient. Okay, you know what the answer is. Get two robot vacuum cleaners. One for the upper step area.

Yeah. And then one for the rest of the house. That's a real one percenter attitude. It really is. What gradient can a robot vacuum cleaner climb? You know, if there's not an answer on loan, we should do this. We should... Baldwin Street, definitely not.

We should get robot vacuum cleaners and run the test because people would want to know if they had a ramp. That seems like something Consumer NZ should do. Yeah. Is he finding anything online? No, the maximum height of a threshold the Roomba can claim is 1.6 centimetres. So if it came across like a cat shit or a dog shit that was two centimetres high, it wouldn't run it over.

Malteser. That would be, a Malteser would be more than 1.6. Would that be around 1.6? Wouldn't get a giant Jaffa in it. Well, certainly not. I think it'd bump the giant Jaffa around the room. Or a marshmallow. A big marshmallow. Yeah. There's get a giant Jaffa in it. Well, certainly not. I think it'd bump the giant Jaffa around the room. Or a marshmallow. A big marshmallow.

Yeah. There's a flying robot vacuum cleaner. Like a hovering one. What? But I don't know. No, there's no work if they can climb ramps. This is great. I really wanted to get one when I got a kitten.

Because then he could sit on it and go around and it would have been cute. But he's too fat now. He'd just stop it. The robot vacuum cleaner would be like, help. And he'd just start smoking. And he'd get just out of its cradle and he'd be like, return the charge. Left on the list of the top 10 Christmas presents.

Clothing at 40%. Yeah. People would be happy to receive clothing. And at 52%, the biggest is gift card. Because with that gift card, you can buy any of the other things yeah I'm down I know people are like oh it's rubbish

but I'm down for gift cards because then you can either box into sales or when you need something next year just get it then you can get it or put it towards something

that you want yeah and it's not like cash where you accidentally spend it on treats and then you don't buy yourself something that happens

because that happens lots doesn't it that happens all the time ZM's Fletch Warner Megan the podcast Treats and then you don't buy yourself something. That happens. Because that happens lots, doesn't it? That happens all the time. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. The 12 Days of Fletchmas. Well, it's super easy to register. You go to ZM online and you decide if you would like to join the naughty or the nice list.

And do you know what? It's about 50-50. Registration-wise, pretty much down the middle. Well, people know you. They know that it's not going to be the good story that gets them the prize. Are they? Yeah, but sometimes I think Santa's a bit misleading. Sometimes it's all right to be a little bit naughty.

Get things done. Get ahead in life. You have no comment? No, I wish Just as myself Right today We are playing for a GHD Wish Upon A Star Gold gift set

The perfect Christmas present For the queen in your life RRP Recommended retail price For those that don't know What that stands for Of $335 So

What a present Let's go to the naughty list who's on the naughty list freya good morning hi now why are you on the naughty list this year well i did my christmas shopping early but i've liked a few of the presents too much and have kept them for myself. Yep, this is a classic. So will you buy another one of the same thing for people? Well, I think I might have to because one of the presents I'd bought for my boyfriend's sister, she saw me wearing it and she really loved it, so... All right, so you can't buy her the same thing now.

But you bought that when, that thing you were wearing that she said, I love that, you bought that for her originally? Yeah. So how did that make you? It was really cool, so I kept it. How did that make you feel

when she said, that's really cool, and you're like, well, you know, and in a monologue was, this should have been yours. Well, at least I knew she would have liked it. Yeah. Yeah. So have liked it. Yeah. Yeah. So good but bad.

Yeah, but I didn't feel like I could say it was meant for you. No. You didn't have to. Brilliant. All right. Okay, Emma, wait there. Who's on the nice list? Emma, good morning.

Good morning. Why are you on the nice list? So about three weeks ago, my boyfriend went off to Rocket Lab to do some work and he asked if he could go early so he could go and watch their rocket launch and about four days later, I was having my wisdom teeth out. So you let him go away when you needed him the most? Yeah, yeah. Right.

I mean, I just think a rocket is probably far more interesting than me with a swollen face. Yeah, but rocket videos don't go viral online like people high on painkillers after the dentist saying ridiculous things. They do if they blow up. No. No, I know, but I think, well, maybe that was the selfish part

of me allowing him to go because then there were no viral videos of me. Right. Okay, so that was selfish. You should let him go so they weren't there. But really nice of you

to let him go because he really wanted to watch a big rocket. Yeah. Hmm. I've got a real predicament now, haven't I? You've got a real situation

on your hands. So I've got to make somebody very upset. You've got Freya who's already stealing other people's Christmas presents. And she wants that one as well. Some would say Freya's a little bit greedy. But she gets what she wants, doesn't she? And Emma, well, her idea of nice is letting someone be free.

Which is very lovely. Good luck. Freya, on the naughty list. You get the prize. Oh, wow. Cool. That's fine. You don't need someone there when you get your wisdom teeth out.

You needed me? I had to come and get you when you got your wisdom teeth out. I could have got an Uber if Uber existed then. Freya, congratulations. You've won a GHD Wish Upon a Gold Star gift set. Woo, thank you. Wish Upon a Star Gold Gift Set. Yes, don't give Wish upon a star gold gift set. Yes, don't give this to anyone else.

All yours. The perfect Christmas present for the queen of your life. She doesn't even give other people the presents that were intended for them. She's not going to give away a present that she actually just wanted for herself. You deserve this, Freya. Thanks. Congratulations. All right, you can register for the 12 Days of Fletchmas.

Send him online and you just pick naughty or nice list. And I could go either way. Yeah. Like, I was almost going to go on the nice list. And then I didn't. What, you were going to go today? You were going to go on the nice list? Yeah.

I was going to say, you said you almost went on the nice list. There's no way you were going on the nice list. Oh, not after this, no. Well, no, after your year's shenanigans. But I'm pretty sure they're even reluctant to put you on the naughty list. Auckland's, well, I guess it's the council, right? Because they're in charge of doing the food ratings. Yeah.

They have revealed that two restaurants received E grades and 24 received, no, I shouldn't have said restaurants because this could be like bakeries or anything. Yeah, anything like that. You don't necessarily have to, food was prepared there, they must be investigated. And they don't investigate every single place every month. So between September and November,

24 received D grades and two received E grades. Because there are no Cs, no Bs. There's one of the letters that's gone. It's like A. No Cs. B, no Cs. It goes straight to D and then E. A is good, good on you.

Because Cs get degrees. But Cs don't get your bakery or your restaurant. No, Cs get disease. Yeah, maybe. Cs definitely get disease. So they've been publicly named, so I don't feel like I'm going to be in any trouble for publicly naming. Well, if they've been given this, then yeah, fair call.

Western Noodle in Mount Albert received an E rating during its September 10 inspection for poor cleaning, a rodent infestation, cross-contamination risks, poor food storage, and inadequate maintenance and food labelling. Oh, wow, okay. Food labelling. Megan, when they owned the cafe, I remember that was a big thing, food labelling.

Everything had to be labelled. Right, like a mum that's just gone to Kmart to get all the matching containers in her pantry. Yeah, and her brother, P-Touch. Yeah. He's got a label maker. Everything is labelled. Now, it still failed a day later, but it went to a D rating.

It is now her A grade. Oh, well, that's good. Good for them. Good for them. Good for them. Dumpling Ace in Northcote on the North Shore of Auckland, second restaurant to receive a dreaded E grade. A dirty and unhygienic cockroach infestation this time.

Oh, see, sometimes I feel that's not their fault. That's nature. You know, like if I had a restaurant... We must crush nature. We must keep them out. We must kill them for trying to survive. Cross-contamination risks, poor food storage, inadequate maintenance, and it got an E.

It was re-inspected and then it got a D. And now, however, it's also A-grade. Oh, fantastic. Well, see, there you go. That's a story of redemption. There's all, basically, all's also A grade. Oh, fantastic. Well, see, there you go. That's a story of redemption. There's all, basically, all the ones that got D. At some stage, I'm looking through now, got upgraded to an A, apart from Crispy Chicken and Otahuhu.

Oh, okay. Otahuhu, I beg your pardon. Also, everybody else, A, A, A, A, A. Pepe La Vina, Venongo takeaway and Otahu are currently C, although it has been a D. So they do have a C. They do have a C. Oh. Maybe C's do get

degrees in bakeries. I didn't see they did C's. I thought you were right. One of them was missing. You never see a C. Yeah. Red Beach takeaway got a D. And currently it's A. D. New Save Supermarket, a new market. It got a D. Yep. And currently it's A. D. D. Oh. New Save Supermarket

and New Market. It got a D. Currently a A. D. D. Okay, right. Wow.

Follow the trend here. Yes. All the ones that I'm recounting on. Stone Barbecue Browns Bay it got a D. It's currently a D.

You got it. He's onto it now. I think if I was anywhere in there there was a D I'd be straight out of there because that's not And the thing is

they have to display the D until they've changed it and they might not be able to get an inspection for like a month. I'd just get a photocopy in Photoshop up an A.

What is the fine for that? I don't know but I'd still do it. I'd just throw the dice on that one. You could totally be going out of business. Yeah. But on the back of this, we're wondering this morning,

you can text message 9696 or call 0800-DOLLAR-ZM. What's the grimmest thing you've seen in a restaurant? Yeah, the grossest thing. Maybe you saw the classic, when you can see the kitchen. Yeah. I don't like that. Oh, no, I like being able to see the kitchen. Do you? They can't hide anything. Yeah. I don't like that. Oh, no, I like being able to see the kitchen. Do you?

They can't hide anything. Nah, something weird about it. I love those restaurants where you sit at a bar and you watch them work in the kitchen. I love seeing how they do everything. No, because then you're like so close to the food and other people are too. It's weird.

Right. You're like a conversation spit away from spitting on someone else's meat. Well, maybe it's changed in these COVID times. You don't get to sit that close to the kitchen anymore. Maybe you've seen a chef drop something and then just put it back on the grill. I always like going,

excuse me, where's the bathroom? And they're like, um, a little hesitant. And then you walk past the grimiest. Yeah, there's like a bucket of oil that I've not yet put outside in that drum thing.

Oh yeah. Okay, so what's the grossest thing you've seen at a restaurant? It could be a cafe or a bakery, anywhere that would have a food rating. A few D grades passed out in the annual report. People love these. Always wonder why news places print these stories.

I only think about it for like two seconds as I get all fiendish to see if anywhere I've ever eaten is in the list. Yeah. There was a place once that was on a friend and I's most eating out places. Yeah. Restaurants. And I tagged them in. I was like, we're not going here again.

But they swiftly got it back to an A, which was good, I think. Because it's just one. There could be like a random cockroach could get you a D. Yeah. Or on that list. And that's not your fault.

Like it could have just scurried in. Yeah. Well. And brought its family on like a vacation. It just moves in. Come on, kids. We're in Auckland. We're going to go and see the bakery that your granddad, Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great it's a restaurant, a bakery, a cafe, and no shortage. Gemma, good morning.

What did you see? Good morning. When I was having a Caesar salad one day at a nice bar, I got about three quarters of the way through my salad and I kind of took a mouthful and looked down at the bowl and there was a plaster stuck to it. Oh! Was it one of the blue plasters or a skin-coloured plaster?

It was a skin-coloured plaster. Oh, that's also a no-no. That's why they use the blue plasters, don't they? Occasionally you go to a fast food restaurant and you'll see someone with a cart wearing a blue plaster or a teenager with a hickey covering it up with a blue plaster. Covered a hickey with a blue plaster. That just draws attention to the hickey.

I know. Gemma, thanks for your call. Catherine, what did you witness at a food place? Hi, I was in Thailand and so just eating in a restaurant and a truck came and went to the toilet and then it dragged this kind of tube, like, you know, the dryer tube through the restaurant and started pumping the toilet through. Holy.

Like it was emptying the toilet. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So I just left my food and went for a walk on the Yeah. Wow. So I just left my food and went for a walk on the beach. Wow. Oh, that is a great, like, do that when you're shot, eh?

For the day. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. That's insane. I just can't imagine going walking just a long house through. So I did. How do you think you call Catherine? Ari, what did you, the grimacing you saw at a restaurant or a food place?

Hey, guys. So I went to a Thai restaurant and I ordered a pad Thai and I got, there was a worm in it. So I saw something moving and it was a little baby worm. And I told the waitress, I was like, like, what is this? And basically she's like, oh, it's just extra protein for you. How does a worm get a worm in the mouth or something,

wouldn't it? Or a caterpillar? Yeah, I don't know. I didn't even look at it properly. I was so disgusted and mortified. I didn't even ask for a refund. I just left. Just left.

Just left. I mean, she's not wrong with. I just left. Just left. Just left. Great. I mean, she's not wrong with the protein. They do have a lot of protein. And going into the future, we are going to have to start eating insects. We are. Ari, thanks for your call.

Some text messages. Someone said, a group of us went to play rugby in Kolkata in India. We had a live-in butler. When we heard this, we were like, this is going to be amazing.

However, we soon heard him coughing and what it sounded like might have been his final cough all over our food. Oh, okay. We had a game early one morning. We went down

and switched the kitchen lights on and the walls had cockroaches all over the walls. And every morning for breakfast, we had runny eggs. And it was just like, every day was like, rolling the dice.

Where am I die today? Where am I die today? Where am I dieting? So how's this for a privileged lifestyle? I once went to a fish and chip shop and they had no gloves on and they were putting toppings on the burgers. You just went to every fish and chip shop? Yeah. I think you just went to every fish and chip shop.

Somebody said, I had a summer job once cleaning the extractor fans above deep fryers. You have not seen anything more ungodly than what lurks behind the mesh of an extractor above a deep fryer. That's why you just leave the mesh there. You don't touch it. You don't touch it. You just burn it down. Burn it to the ground.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, sharks, as a species, are older than trees. As a species. I'll let you sit on that for just a moment. Yeah, I'll sit on that. And I'm back. Yep. Great.

So the earliest species of the modern tree, the earliest it can be found evidence of was 350 million years ago. And it was in forests where the Sahara Desert is now. So the climate was different. It's changed multiple times since then. Over 350 million years, surprisingly. And there were forests there. And that is the first forest

and first evidence they can find of the modern tree. But sharks, not in their exact form, but they still would be considered sharks, have been around for 400 million years, meaning 50 million years longer than trees. So did they get a shark and cut it in half and then count the rings? Count the rings, that's how they do that with sharks. Oh, that's neat. Yeah, which is a real shame because then you've killed a shark. Yeah, it really is.

It's like when they cut down a tree and they're like, oh, it was 200 years old. It's like, oh, cool, you've cut down a really old tree. Let's make some coffee tables. Yeah, let's get that on a lathe. Yep. And video it and put it on YouTube and Vaughan will spend hours watching you. I know, I always get those videos pop up. It's like we've got a log here and we're going to fill it in with resin in the middle

and make a resin table. Yeah. It was on Country Calendar last night. Was it? He had a lathe and I said to Shadows, I'd really like a lathe.

Why would you want a lathe? I just think it'd be one of those fun things to have. A lathe. Just get a bit of wood and then... I mean,

that was fun back at school when you got to go on the lathe And make like a candle holder Or whatever you made Yeah I didn't get to make A candle holder at school Can't even remember

Being on the lathe Right So maybe that's why We made some of the lathe Did you use perspex as well And you could mould it And because it was a recall Of some candle holders

That were made in High school Yeah Because they used perspex For the candle holder Wellpex for the candle holders. Well, yeah. Because the candle would burn down. Exactly.

You've got a fire risk there. Exactly. I know. Oh, fools. I know. You save that for metal work. Mind you, that would burn down. That would also get very hot, be dangerous to the touch.

But these were the 90s, when you could just play fast and loose with children's safety. Exactly. So, today's fact of the day, and one to, if you're making your own Christmas crackers, we should do fact of the day. We should have done fact of the day Christmas crackers. Where were you on that one? Executive intern, aren't you? Where were you on that one?

We'll do fact of the day Christmas crackers, and rather than jokes inside, it has a short, poignant fact. An interesting fact that you could talk about around the Christmas table. We could do that next year. Write it down. Because it's like too close to Christmas now. I don't even want to be here today. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

I've checked out as well. I can't be... You've been born. We shan't be getting a BSA complaint this close to Christmas. No one's going to complain if you say you can't be... This summer year. Everyone listening will be like, me too, bud. Me too.

So today's fact of the day is that sharks are older than trees. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And if anyone can recommend a good hobby lathe, let me know. Oh, my God. If anyone's got a good hobby lathe, let me know. Oh, my God. If anyone's got a good hobby lathe. They've used it, perhaps, and they can recommend the brand for a little hobby lathe. You've got to get some eye protection and some gloves because you'll lose a finger. Megan's away today, but Executive Intern.

That's how I lost my hair. My ponytail got caught in the light. Which is a real bummer because you were about to do a DJ gig weren't you when you left the jacket I had such a long

beautiful ponytail and the teacher said Vaughan you'll need a hair tie that to go near the lathe and I went I won't listen and I threw my hair around

and then it just scalped me Flesh Vaughan and Megan the podcast ZM just at the NZ Herald website this is the company Synergy here, the newsroom upstairs. Yeah.

I was about to talk about something else, but I've just noticed there's a breaking news banner. The shooting at Dr Rudy's Bar, Auckland Police closing in on suspect after executing search warrants overnight. This is where we nearly lost Producer Jared at the weekend. He was an hour away from being showered in glass. Showered in glass. You were there. What time did you nearly lost Producer Jared at the weekend. He was an hour away from being showered in glass. Showered in glass. You were there.

What time did you leave, Producer Jared? We buggered off at about 1.30. So what time did you leave? 2.30. 2.30. Yeah, 2.30 apparently. So someone was asked to leave. They shot the glass ceiling above the escalators that go up to the bar in Auckland in the viaduct.

So they're closing in there. But what I just wanted to quickly mention mention because there's obviously a lot of talk about the coronavirus vaccine. The Queen, she's getting a shot in a couple of weeks. She'll be this side of Christmas. She'll be getting one. Boris Johnson's going to do his live on the telly. Yeah.

Not himself. What? He's not doing it himself. No, nurse. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's going to get his. I saw a news story last night. It was like nurses are practising on themselves. I was like

you've probably worded that wrong, they should know how to do that. They're nurses, right? Yeah, practising on each other. But does it have to be given differently to a standard day? You just jam it in the old arm. Just jam it in, yeah. But what I wanted to mention is the Herald have done a Zoom interview with Dr

Anthony Fauci. The Herald? The Herald, The Herald. Someone from the Herald. From the Herald. And so they've got this interview, but that's not the most amazing thing I wanted to talk about. On the 24th of December, in two weeks, Christmas Eve.

He turns 80. 80 years old. He's 79. He's 70. What is that man's skincare routine? Oh my God, I simply must know. You must know Stem cells

Do you reckon he just nips in Because he's the head of That, do you reckon he just nips in And he's like Oh guys, where's that jar of stem cells? And then just like Rub some on his face I don't know

I don't know I don't know how stem cells work I assume you just can't rub it on your face No And if he knew how to do that He'd probably be making a lot more money Than he is now Fauci?

That's an Italian? Oh, yeah, maybe. Mediterranean diet. Higher olive oils, lots of fish. Yep. A glass of red wine every night. And a good family unit is what they say. It's not just the diet.

It's the family unit that gives them their long life. I've just realised you're not talking about where they live, like a family unit. Oh, like an apartment. They love a good apartment in Italy. They love a good apartment. They love a good apartment, yeah. They love a two-bedroom family unit. I've been watching...

What's happening? What's happening over there? Oh, Executive Intern Anya's... She's had enough. She's had enough of you today. Are you packing up? You're off. Yeah.

Good on you. Yep. Good on you. Yep. Good on you. Hey, Ruth. It's been a good one. Well, actually, no. Has it? I don't think it has been.

It's been a four and a half. Out of ten. Four thousand. That's a very low rating. It's very low. But lots of room for improvement. Yeah. Which is true.

And possibly can't get worse. So that's always, always fun to silver lining. We talked about before on the show, Fletcher's slightly split level department. It's like the people who owned it at some stage before you put a raised floor in. Yeah. Why exactly? Is there anything under there? No, there's nothing under there.

No storage or anything, right? It's just to look cool. It's weird. It is weird. It is weird, but that's fine. They made their choice and you're living with it. I'm just living with it, yeah. We talked about the fact that you can't get one Roomba

because it wouldn't make its way up onto the top floor. Yeah, a robot vacuum cleaner. Well, we looked up ramps, and the offer's still on the table. I can build you a ramp. Well, apparently, you found on YouTube, people are ramping their homes. Not because somebody's taken a tumble and

they need a wheelchair. Nope. Because they want their robot vacuum cleaners to clean their stair departments or houses. So it just needs to get to the other split level. We've got to build a 10 degree ramp. That 20 degree, it did work but not as well as a 10 degree ramp so it would run out a little bit. But you've got to go one

step to get it up, not two like this guy in the video I watched. But I think the most impressive thing was a guy turned, made his Roomba fly. He put drone propellers on it. He put drone-esque propellers on it, hooked them up to the battery. The basic premise was when it got to the edge of the stairs and it said, I can't go that way.

On the map, it knew that it was a I can't go that way. On the map, it knew that it was a, it was a stair. Yep. Because this would stop it flying into the walls and it would back away and give itself a little bit of a hum just to get up

and then it would clean up there. Amazing. And he did that. Yeah. So we could do, you should buy a Roomba and let me try to do that. Or I could just do what I normally do

and just vacuum the house myself. Yes, I know you could. But that's no fun. But where's the fun in that? Yeah. I just don't know if I need a ramp at my house. It'd be weird. People would be like, why do you have a ramp? A little ramp. A little tiny ramp. You could dress your Roomba up

as something. Right. Like R2-D2 or something. Like a little droid. Like a little cleaning droid. And you'd be like, that's for the cleaning droid. I think the cat would like the ramp too. The cat could slide down the ramp. The cat won't like the robot vacuum cleaner. No.

I think he's got competition and fight it or something. I don't know. Flip it over on its back and he's won because they can't go anywhere when they're on the back. They're like a turtle. Get them on the back. Yeah, true. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

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