ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th December 2021

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

Council lifting Cars  NZ #2!  Fanageddon  Fletch's Christmas Tree  Listener Dilemma  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. You may remember, listeners of the show, that I've spoken about this a few times actually. My cat, Major Murray Fluffington, is on a diet. Yeah.

Because he's just tubby. He's a tubby little fucker. He got too big, didn't he? Yeah, he got. It was like. Yeah. fucker He got too big Didn't he He got It was like Yeah Vets love telling you Your animals are too fat

Oh they do It's a classic vet banter Well it's not actually banter It's It's actual Yeah Health advice for your pet So I took him in

He last was in I think it was November Maybe This Yeah Start of November Jesus I was like

November was so long ago But then I remembered We're not at the start of a year And anyway So yesterday He had really gunky eyes. He said gunky eyes for maybe four or five days. And they like kind of like conjunctivitis. Kind of. Like it's some kind of something.

He never gets gunky eyes. And I was Googling it. And you know, Google's like, it's cancer. You've got to take it to the vet. If it gets bad, it's really bad if you leave it. So I was like, well, I'll go because it hasn't cleared up. And so I've got little eye drops. So I have to put little eye drops in every day.

Oh, that's horrible. But anyway, when I got them in there, they do that thing where they check them over and they put them on the scales. And I was like, okay, here we go. Here we go. Because what was their last time? 6.8?

6.75. Right. Okay, so they put them on the scales and I was like, okay, I'm going to get a compliment here, because he's definitely been getting fed less, and I've been a good dad. Yeah. He's been meowing the fuck out of me. Yeah. And I'm like, no, you can't have any more.

Oh, tough love is good love, though. Yeah. And so she puts him on a scale. I'm like, here it comes. She didn't say anything. And I was like, oh, how heavy was he? And she said he's 6.65. he's lost 100 grams 10 grams because it was point no it was 6.75 now he's 6.65 he's lost 100 grams well that's good right that's a tenth of the kg yeah

that's like a slight that's like on the outside of the block of butter Because everybody does weight By block of butter That's two segments Two lines That's good It's a good When you put it like that But then she was like

Okay you're going to need To feed him even less Because I said Is this good And she's like No you're going to need To go less And otherwise

When he's six And he's got arthritis He's not going to have A great life It's a work in progress though You can't crash diet cats. They don't understand a crash diet. No.

So I was weaning, so I've got to go even more. He'll do fine. It's early days. He's doing good. Is he still going to Pussy Craig's? Is he going for his weekly weigh-in at Pussy Craig's? He goes to Pussy Craig's. He has his weekly weigh-in on a Tuesday.

Yeah. Is he still doing their food three days a week? He does. And then, you know, having one cheat day. But I'm wondering if he's getting takeaways when I'm not there. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's where you got to check. At the bin.

Not the top of the bin. You got to check under because they'll hide their takeaway shame. Pussy Craigs. Play. City's Fleets, Horn and Megan. Hello. good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleets, Fawn and Megan. Megan away today.

Vaughan just putting his headphones on. Yeah. In the middle of a word find. It's just, uh... Well, no, no, again, this is a word fit. A word fit. You've got to fit the words into a predetermined grid. Right, okay.

I like it better. Apologies. The Wizards got another job there, tasting cakes. That's good to hear. No, good. Old, though. How many cakes can he have? You've got to watch when you get old.

You've got to watch how many cakes you eat, don't you? Well, my nan, who's the oldest person I know, personally, her appetite's all but gone. For cakes? For everything. For everything. She said her words don't eat much more than a sparrow. Oh, that's sad,

because I was hoping when I get to retirement, I'm just going to be a lot of cakes. Oh, yeah. All cakes. Or maybe nothing but cakes. Yeah. But then, you know. Time to diabetes and a foot amputation.

What's pudding like at Ryman, though, when it's pudding time? Are you going to be nice At the moment I think Ryman's are predominantly Filled with people who grew up On a fairly basic pud Like a tiramisu would be

Far too rich for them Too rich Too rich Yeah oh that's rich That's a Like a bread and butter pudding Or something Yeah probably that

Maybe an instant pud Oh yeah Probably not adverse To the old butterscotch Instant pud That's a lot of milk, though. Maybe a supermarket. Is Saralee or Suralee?

Saralee. Saralee, one of those. Which one? The one with the chocolate topping. Or a cheesecake. A cheesecake? Too rich. Oh, okay.

Basic apple pie. Not too much crumble. Otherwise, it's just too rich. And none of those fancy berries. Yeah, right. None of those European berries. Okay, just the boysenberries, enough for you, is it? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Pull, pull, pull back. Maybe a strawberry. The top six coming up on the show. Yeah, dogs are going to be employed to chase birds away, seagulls predominantly, from the Sydney Opera House. How cute is that? Little dogs hooning around. Have you ever had a drink or lunch there at that strip of restaurants? Like the seagulls, it's horrible.

You know what else those dogs need to chase away? Those big, gross bin chickens, those ibis with the big curly beak. They are bin chickens. They are yuck. They're disgusting. They are so gross and so noisy. So maybe they'll chase them away as well. But I've got the top six other jobs around Australia for good dogs.

Good dogs. Good boys. Good boys. Good dogs. And good girls too. Next on the show, New Zealand is number two at something. Pretty good stuff. Is it?

ZDM Splashbone and Megan. We have been ranked second. Aotearoa New Zealand ranked second in sexual curiosity. How did they measure our sexual curiosity? Well, research discovered 54,855,300 searches across 10

popular sex terms. Google. Basically, people googling. Wow. Yeah, googling sex terms. Google. Basically, people Googling. Wow. Yeah, Googling sex terms. Is it New Plymouth again? It doesn't break down where in New Zealand it is, but New Zealand had 12.36% of New Zealanders delving into sexually curious searches online each month.

What do they term as sexually curious? Ten terms including porn, fetishes, sexual health, stuff like that. Right, okay. So curious enough to Google terms associated with any of those categories. There's more categories.

There's more words, but some of them you can't say on the radio. No, they don't list them. They say there's and other words of this nature. I really want to know what people are Googling. It could be nipple. It could be erogenous zones. Yeah, yeah.

How to do certain things. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Butthole. I don't know. Stuff like that. There's definitely some but stuff. There's definitely a lot.

Well, I mean, with this many searches There has to be but stuff So it's done by a percentage per capita So that's how we're in at number two So there's so many people searching Does that mean, though, that we're less experienced? That we need to Google these things Compared to other people

Or you don't know how to find it without Googling it? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. So who's number one? The US. Oh, wow. The US, yeah. So we had 596,000 searches a month. Right. They had 54 million. So they've got a much larger population

of viewers. So that falls significantly. That's a head of population. Yeah. Yeah, we're very curious We're ahead Wow okay We're up there with Ireland Finland Denmark

And then Australia in at six Good to beat them Yeah But they've got a massive population So they actually had 2.7 million searches Who's known as like Good lovers

Around the world Like is it the French You know how they always say The French and What are the Italian Languages that came from like Italian, Spanish, French? Where are they on the list?

Those European languages. Where are they on the list? They're not. See? There you go. They just know, don't they? They're not. Yeah, they just know.

They know everything about it. They just know it. They're born knowing. They just know, yeah. They're just born knowing. They just know. Yeah, they're not even on the list, even in the follow-up. Any Spanish-speaking countries, like South American or?

Wow. No. New Zealand, Ireland, Finland, Denmark, Australia, Norway, Israel, Sweden, and the United Kingdom. Very white countries. Yeah, very. Very vanilla. Vanilla like our sex.

Yeah, vanilla. So they're looking to add some chocolate sprinkles. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Well, a council in the UK has had to apologise. This is in a town called Early, but it's early with an L-E-Y. So it's like early in the morning. So it's like the descriptive word when you're describing what an Earl is like. Yes.

It's an adjective for an Earl. What's that Earl like? He's very like. Yes. It's an adjective for an Earl. What's that Earl like? He's very early. Early. Well, this is a town called Earl in Berkshire on behalf of the Wokingham Borough Council. This happened on Sunday. There's a strip of road where they needed to paint some yellow lines for no parking.

Gotcha. Now, the problem was that where they were painting all the yellow lines, there were cars parked on the Sunday morning. So what they did is they brought in one of those trucks with a crane on the back of it. A Hiab? Yeah, a Hiab, one of those trucks. And they put things under the wheels of all the cars

and lifted the crane them up and put them on the other side of the road and then painted the yellow lines. Yeah. And then they craned the cars back. Yeah. And then they gave all those cars tickets. Brilliant. All in one motion.

All in one morning. Lift, move. Yeah, paint the lines. Paint, move back, ticket like that, that, that, that. It wasn't like they left it there for a couple of days and somebody accidentally walked past and mistakenly they're like,

well, all these cars are parked on yellow lines but those people are just brilliant how amazing had they been given warning though had they been sent a thing saying

on Sunday morning we're going to be drawing yellow lines please don't have your cars parked there well the council have said they have accepted

that the fines were issued in error and it doesn't sound like they were because the residents said it's this kind of some kind of prank yeah or trick right but you know no warning but the lines are there now the double yellow lines and the fines have been dropped but very funny you know they're a bit good like prank on a TV

show you know TV shows in the 90s or the early 2000s used to do this kind of stuff. I can't believe they just lift somebody's car. Obviously things can go wrong doing that. Well there's a thing under each wheel. So it looks a little bit safer than like a tow truck. Because sometimes I see tow trucks towing cars and they really like

it doesn't seem like it's good for them. Yeah you mean where they hoist up the back wheels and they... Yeah. Because that's where the park brake's on and they drag them backwards. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how that works. Because I don't...

Yeah, I don't know how that works. But so I've thought the same. So I've always thought it'd be quite funny to... Because, you know, tow truck drivers, they're all arseholes, aren't they? Well, no, they're just doing their job. Yeah, but they're arseholes, aren't they? See, I think I could probably do it. Quite easily do that as a job

because you're an asshole. You'd love to see that. I mean, yeah, it's always your fault, right? Because you shouldn't be parking there. But still, I've always thought it'd be funny just to drill a big hole into the ground, anchor a car into the ground, and then when the tow truck comes,

they can't tow it. That'd be hilarious to watch. Seems like a lot of effort. Seems like a lot of effort. Seems like a lot of effort just to ruin one person's day. Chain my car to a pole just to... Yeah. That would be better as if you somehow had a sneaky connection to all the other cars and they started towing your car

and it just dragged all the other cars as well. They were all chained together. Yeah. Yeah, brilliant idea. We should make a prank TV show. I think they're right for a comeback. It's been long enough. It's been long enough that people are ready for it again.

Yep. I still want to see another one of those series where people are stealing cars. I know, I love those. And they prank the people who are stealing the cars. I know. Because they're thieves, so they can't get too shitty about it. There's obviously one where they'd lock the doors on the car thieves. Snatched?

Yeah, and then it would fill with foam or smoke. Yeah. Oh, hilarious. Or loud music or start filling up with water or like they were all just these prank cars. Yeah. They were brilliant. See, I think that's what Police 107 should do,

to start rigging up cars to be stolen and then cutting the engines off in the middle of... There was a New Zealand show where they left cars. They found out the most it was hosted by the All Black whose brother was floating at sea. That's right. Smoke and Joe.

Is that his name? He was an All Black. They found out New Zealand's most. Was it Norm Killett? Maybe. Yeah, because his brother was Robert because they made all the jokes about him bobbing at sea Because his nickname Would have been Bob And it was kind of funny

At the time But you didn't laugh out loud Yeah And they found out In New Zealand suburbs Where cars were most likely To be stolen And then what car

Was most likely to be stolen And then they'd park it there And wait for it to be stolen Until every time It got stolen Fun times It was brilliant stuff I've watched that show

And they just disabled it While they were driving away And then the thieves Would get out and run away Yeah But that's like Letting a possum out of the trap. Yeah.

You've got them in the trap now. Yeah, and then you got them in the trap, so you drown them in the trough. Possum's an accomplice. I'd watch that, too. Not the drowning bit, but I'd watch that show. At least, mate, let them think you're going to. Sure, sure.

Before the police turn up. Let it start filling up with water and stop when they've just got to keep their head up. From the rat-infested ZM think tank, this is the top six. If you Google Opera House seagull dogs, you're not going to see a hybrid where a seagull and a dog made sweet love

and somehow defying the rules of avian mammal... Breeding. Interbreeding. You're not going to see a hybrid of the two you will however see some very cute dogs that's new job is to keep seagulls away from people who are enjoying a beverage or some food by the sydney opera house those that whole strip of like bars and cafes and restaurants all along there so cool yeah but oh God, anyone that's even been there knows how pisky the seagulls are. Well, border collies and Australian kelpies.

Oh, cute. Very cute dogs are going to be used to shush away seagulls. They'll be on their lead most of the time, but it's a long lead. They can run around and... Imagine if one absolutely mauls us. Just having some... I'd be there mauls. He's just having some... I'd be there for it. French fries and a beer.

Yeah, and this dog's just like... Rips one to shreds. It's a good message to send to the other seagulls. Why don't they just get those plastic eagle-looking things with glass eyes that you see on the top of some buildings? Or just CDs. To scare them away. CDs hanging with nylon.

To scare them away. I hanging with nylon. Yes. To scare them away. I remember when my grandad said to me, now, what's a CD? And I was like, why? And he's like, apparently they're great for scaring away birds. Can I have some of yours? I'm like, no, they cost $30 each.

You can't have. Where do I get a cheap CD? I was like, I don't know. And he went into the warehouse in Matamata and went into the bargain bin. To get like $4.99 CDs. Bought some CD singles for like a couple of bucks. Right.

Why didn't he get the blank ones from the station? Because they were more expensive at the time. Were they? Yeah, to buy a spool. To buy a spool of CDs. Well, if dogs can chase away seagulls, I've got some other jobs they can do while they're in Australia. And I think all of these

Would make pretty good TV shows as well Number six on the list Of Australian jobs for good dogs Putting out bushfires How? With their hoses Doing wheeze on them Oh okay right

But also they could be there With the hoses And barking when they Because you know They can find a hot spot Oh yeah Yeah right Over here

Yeah Assisting Number five on the list Of Australian jobs for good dogs you know, they can find a hot spot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. Over here. Yeah. Assisting. Number five on the list of Australian jobs for good dogs. Driving those big trucks in the outback. Those really big, long trucks where the roads are really long. They probably don't need to be that good at driving to keep it out on the road. You just tie the steering wheel down and they drive themselves.

Yeah. Having that. And then they bite and pull at the handbrake to stop. Yeah. That would work. That would work. That would work. Number four on the list of the top six other good dog, Australian jobs for good dogs, being a flying doctor. Oh, yeah.

See if Flying Doctors is back. Yeah. Is it a remake? Oh, right. Yeah, a remake with one of the guys on Home and Away, who was one of the Braxton boys. Okay. One of those naughty, naughty hotties.

One of those naughty hotties from Summer Bay. He's a bad boy. Probably stayed at Irene's. But anyway, a dog could be a flying doctor. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six other jobs in Australia for good dogs. Rescuing people from the surf on Bondi Rescue. Oh, that'd be cute.

They just grab them by the togs and haul them in. Yeah, good. They can totally do that. Dogs are bloody good in the ocean. Oh, that'd be cute. They just grab them by the togs and haul them in. Yeah, good. They can totally do that. Dogs are bloody good in the ocean. Number two on the list of the top six Australian jobs for good dogs, working in the mines. Oh, yeah, okay.

They could be driving the trucks, the diggers, doing what other people do in the mines. I'm not sure what a lot of the jobs are in the mines. Jack hammering. Yeah. Dogs are capable of all of these things. And number one on the list of the top six Australian jobs for good dogs Driving those Australian motorway patrol cars That are always

On the Australian motorway patrol And if you've been keeping Score of today's top six You'll also notice that was pretty much just Paw Patrol Six through one All Paw Patrol That is today's top six

Hey loser Get a partner Six through one, all Paw Patrol. That is today's top six. ZDM, Splashbone and Megan. Hey, loser, get a partner. Now, that's not going to help. That's the sort of thing you shouldn't say to your single friends. No, no, you shouldn't. Yeah. And don't try to neg them out to encourage them by being like,

do you not have a partner because of how fugly you are? Like, that's not going to help either. No. These are all things I've recently learned. Yep. There has been a study of single people and different aspects of dating, and 78% identify themselves as feeling some sort of burnout from constantly trying to date. Oh, you're right.

78% of people said they were stressed from constant incompatible dates. Repeated dating disconnection is what the term is now called. Because of the dating apps, it's just nonstop. Yep. The average person, according to this research, found six failed dates a year because of mismatched intentions and had spent up to £300 a year on bad dates out of the UK. Wow, I guess that's the thing.

If you're going to a restaurant or a bar, it's going to add up, isn't it? Get a few cocktails, some meals. Now, they believe the main problem is people are unable to be honest about their intentions. Right. Yes. So you should ask someone straight up, like, what are your intentions? unable to be honest about their intentions. Right. Yes. So you should ask someone straight up, like, what are your intentions? Yeah, what are you looking for?

But you can ask them. But people struggle to be honest. A quarter of those surveyed said they found it hard to be honest about their intentions. So someone's like, what are you looking for? And you're just like, just some hot love making. Okay. And maybe twice.

Yeah. Maybe twice, maybe y'all. And that's what you're after. I'm good for two times. But you can look into their eyes and you're seeing they're after a more spiritual connection so you believe the way to get the hot love making is to lie to them about wanting a spiritual connection. Yeah.

Rather than being honest. Are you saying that the guys are the ones lying? I'm not saying it's always guys. Okay. I mean, I am a guy and I would say whatever it took. So I can only assume other men are also on this page.

Yeah, right. So a quarter of those surveyed said they find it hard to be honest about their intentions. 27% said they will say what they think others want to hear rather than the truth. Totally.

So a third of people struggle to express themselves for fear of what other people will think about them until they can get like a... So it takes a few dates for them to... So does this study or article mention what people should do? Should they just be open and upfront? Well, it's all about misunderstanding intentions

and misrepresenting what you're after. So they said you'd probably get less dating burnout if you went on dates with honest people and you were honest yourself. Right, okay. 82% of people said they wanted to be more open and honest about their intentions because they believe it would be easier, but they couldn't. Yeah, because you don't know what they're going to say though if you kind of open up straight away.

Yeah, if you open up all about it. So they did say, have three different like statuses. Yeah. Here to date. That means you want to go on dates and have a good time. No labels.

Yeah. Ready for a relationship. You're looking for some of the last snow games. Open to chat. I'm here to chat and see where it goes. No pressure. Where's the other one? The other label about the just.

I feel like that was under the first one. Hair to date. I want to go on dates and have a good time. No labels. That was the one that said to me. I feel like there needs to be a fourth. Promiscuous good times. What would you think the fourth should be called?

Just pretty can't say it. Banging. Something like that, yeah. Banging, sure. Smashing. Absolutely. No, maybe not that one. Pushing?

Pushing? No, let's just leave it. Touching. Yeah, maybe not that one. Pushing? Pushing? No, let's just leave it. Touching. Yeah, maybe that. Touching bits. Touching bits. Touching bits. Yes.

Because you could put that on any dating app. Yeah. Are you here for touching bits? So dates, touching bits. Here to date, ready for a relationship, open a chat, pretty keen to touch bits. Yeah. Okay, so that sounds very honest. Honest, doesn't it?

And then from one of those four, surely you could let your intentions be known. You could say, I'm here for a little bit of open chat. Look, I'm 25% open chat, 75% touching bits. Touching bits, right. I will see how the chat goes, which will lead to the touching of the bits. Well, good luck with that.

Single people. Singletons. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, despite the fact that we've been unable to leave the country, despite the Australian travel bubble. Oh, yeah, like you mean leave the country. For a holiday. Easily.

Yeah. People have still managed to leave for holidays. In the nine weeks from July 23, which is when the Australian travel bubble ended. Yeah. And this does include people that went to Rarotonga. Oh, yeah, because that was open for a bit. That was open.

There were 180 holiday trips overseas. 180. Which people had to stay in MIQ on the way back. So there are 180 people out there that took up MIQ spots. But I think also people might not have, because, you know, when you leave it, you have to label what you're leaving the country for. Maybe people didn't put holiday because they're like,

well, it's a holiday. They were business. You're not allowed to lie on those, though. Oh, gosh, what have you done? What are you in prison for? I said it was a business trip when it was a holiday. Yeah, I said it was visiting family, but it was recreation. So, yeah, these holidays excluded the people

that went to the Cook Islands. Tonga was a popular destination, 108. Of the 180? Yep. Okay, the most popular destination. They were deemed a holiday. Also, no COVID there, right? So if you are going to roll the dice on a holiday,

a good place to do it. The second most popular destination was the United States. There were 18 holidays. France and Greece, nine holidays each. Six to China. People also ventured to Slovenia, three to Namibia, and three to the Maldives. Oh, my gosh. If I was going, I wouldn't be coming back.

It wouldn't be classed as a holiday. Yeah, this is the thing that blows my mind. Of all the 180 holidays, classed as holidays, 15 days was the average length. So they were doing more time, equal time in MIQ than they were on their holidays. Isn't that mind-blowing? Yeah. That seems like you go and you stay away for a year. Also, I wonder what percentage of those people also left.

You wouldn't leave without an MIQ. Well, I've heard of people that have, like, they were, like, in September, they were like, oh, screw this, we'll just go away for a couple of months. And now they're like, we can't get back. It's like, really? You didn't think that was a very strong possibility? You thought, okay, cool. Yeah.

Interesting to see how you think. We do this every year. We let you know that there is going to be a shortage in fans at some stage over summer because... Because it happens every year. It happens every year. Every single year. We notice that every year.

It always happens. There's a massively humid spell and people haven't got their fans. So it is at this time of year we always issue our fan again and warning. Yeah, now in the past we've said maybe it's a good idea to set a Siri reminder. And Alexa, what are you doing on Samsung? You just say, hey, Sammy. Samsung, just remind me in January or next week to buy a fan. Yeah.

Now you might be thinking this is an Upper North Island problem. I'll tell you that you're dead wrong, sucker. Well, it's a New Zealand problem. It gets bloody wrong, sucker. Well, it's a New Zealand problem. It gets bloody hot, doesn't it? It's a New Zealand problem. Because Wellington in December averages 81% humidity. Auckland only averages 78% humidity. It feels like it's been a lot more than that lately.

It's been very humid the last few days. But humidity is... Is it the worst type of heat? I don't know. Yeah, I of heat? I don't know. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. It's 84 at the moment. We don't get to that

50 degree dry arid desert heat that Dubai has. Our sort of heat we're a humid heat. Yeah, we're a sticky heat. New Zealand does a humid heat. Maybe in the last

you know the last part of January you might get more of a dry summer heat. Yeah. But humidity wise New Plymouth you're hometown there.

Very humid. 81% humidity is its average for December. So you're the same as Wellington, but the highest is Kaitaia. 86% humidity. Average. It's the worst part about summer, the humidity. And it happens every year. The fan shortage.

The fan shortage. And then I'm just saying because of shipping and stuff this summer as well. Oh, yeah. We're experiencing a global shipping situation. Yeah. And shortages. Maybe, you know, it would be wiser to move that possible fan investment. To now.

To now. But then you've got to buy your Christmas presents. Or maybe buy yourself a fan for Christmas. But open it now. Yes, ask for a fan for Christmas. Because humidity's going up. But producer Jared purchased a fan That's what got me thinking

This was yesterday This is good you're getting early Yeah it's a big sexy boy Tell me about your big sexy boy It's about a metre point two tall So it's on a stand It's an oscillating Nah it's not one of the dinner plate ones

It's one of the Like tall long pointy. Oh, the whole thing's a fan. Yeah, the whole thing's a fan. It's like a tower. A tower fan. That's nice. And dinner.

Ooh la la. It oscillates. Yep, and it's got a timer function. Oh, okay. You mean like a sleep timer, like you turn it on and it'll turn itself off in 59 minutes? Oh, yeah. Okay. like you turn it on and it'll turn itself off in 59 minutes? Oh yeah. Okay. Can it turn itself on?

Then you wake up though and you're sticky. You're sticky again. Well, I don't get sticky. You're a sticky little bicky because your fan's gone off and the air's not oscillating around. So what made you buy this fan yesterday? Was it the fact that Fanageddon is coming or you've just had some hot sticky nights? There's been a few hot sticky nights but I was, honestly,

I was just walking through the supermarket and I saw it. Oh, you purchased a supermarket fan? Yeah, just a little $46 job. I've always wanted

to meet someone that buys electronics at the supermarket. Well, I'm right here. I got a toaster. This is like the first time. Have you? Yep.

Did you buy a toaster at the supermarket? Yeah. They're great. But what about, like, I would have thought you first stopped for that kind of stuff.

You're rolling the dice on a house fire there. They're always in the recall thing. If you look at the recall section of the paper, it's like, we're recalling our toasted sandwich maker. Turns out that thing will catch fire if it's cooked. But a cheese. Turns out a $5 hairdryer and toaster was not a good option. The cheese leaks out of the toasted sandwich maker

and it's a very certain part of the outer frame. It'll burst straight into flames. I'm very careful um did you keep your receipt no i don't think i even do you run a hot do you run hot in bed are you a hot sleeper yeah it gets pretty hot in my bedroom yeah oh what about the media is she a hot sleeper um yeah i think so yeah you produce a bit of hate executive engineer are you a hot sleeper i Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you produce a bit of hate. Executive Ingenania, are you a hot sleeper? I am. I'm very clammy.

You're a clammy one. So does Mr. Boon Boon say, hey, you're a hot sleeper? Like you're running out of a bit of hate. There'll be no snuggles in summer. Oh, shit, no. There's no snuggles in summer. Oh, no, no. Yeah, nah, he's all good. So just the top sheet in summer then, no need for a duvet.

Karen, are you a hot sleeper? Yeah, I love to do duvet top half, bottom half sticking out. Right, airing out the bottom half. Oh, no, you're a hot sleeper. Now, you've my little feeties get too hot. You weren't with your boyfriend over lockdown, have you, since, you know, now that you can, have you merged bubbles again? That's not innuendo,

by the way. Yeah. Is he a hot sleeper? Yeah, yeah. I'm fascinated when a couple are both hot sleepers. How it,

because, you know, some people just pump out a lot of heat. Yeah. Like the human electric blankets. I'm just wondering what happens when two hot sleepers.

A lot of distance. Yeah, because I'm a hot sleeper, but Sade's not a hot sleeper. Oh, right. When she gets older, she becomes a hot sleeper. I don't know how we're going to do this. That could be the end of it.

There's too many hot sleepers. She turns into a hot sleeper. Is that why people get separate beds? Maybe. Because if they're both hot sleepers, it's just an absolute bloody oven under there. But then in winter, that's a great thing, isn't it? It can get too much, though. Some people prefer that warmth that you generate yourself and then keep in with the duvet. An absolute bloody oven under there. But then in winter, that's a great thing, isn't it? It can get too much though.

Some people refer to that warmth that you generate yourself and then keep in with the duvet. They don't need another hot stone under there. Well, get a supermarket fan. No, I don't want to burn my house down. As previously stated. You want to be very picky with your electronics. They've got electrical certification. Oh, yeah.

That's the CE. Yeah, so it's fine. You're fine. Just keep the receipt though., so it's fine. You're fine. Just keep the receipt, though. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, I act where a sportswear company have conducted a study into songs that make runners run faster. Oh, yeah, okay.

One's about trains. Are you still doing a bit of running? Nah, my knees. It's hard on the knees, isn't it? My knees. I just didn't want to. I would find myself and I should, nah. Nah.

You did a bit of cycling though because you borrowed my bike for a day. You liked that. Why don't you get another bike? Yeah, kind of, yeah. Sort of a list. Planning it. Yeah. You know, you've got a list of things that are going to cost a fair bit of money that one day, and then you're just like, nah.

Nah. Nah. Yeah. Well, they had runners listening to different music in the study, and they recorded their speed during 60 runs of at least one kilometre. Okay. So they worked out the artists that made runners run the fastest and the ones that made them run the slowest. And specific songs by those artists? Or just the artists on a whole?

Just the artists on a whole. So, I mean, it's... I reckon the artist that would make you run the fastest is a bit of a niche artist, but it would be Scary Clown and their song, I'm Gonna Stab You. So you're running and it's like this. I'm Rob Archer.

I'm gonna stab you. That was a real big hit in 2007. That could work quite well. Yeah. So I'll give you the artist that made runners run the slowest. Katy Perry was the fifth slowest artist. Right. Jared's just messaged saying he's got your list. He's put

some songs in the thing. What thing? Hooks on show bits. Oh yeah, right. Okay, cool. Yeah, nice. That's the button thing. How? What thing? Hooks on show bits. Oh, yeah, right. Okay, cool. Yeah, nice. That's the button thing. I can't see them.

E plus I. I don't know what that means. That's I. Show bits. What did you think I said? Show bigs. Talofa? That's Judith Collins.

What are you doing? That would make you run pretty fast. It made National Party supporters run pretty fast. It made National Party supporters run pretty fast straight to the ACT Party. But they might be like turning around and coming back now.

It did. A slow return. Nicki Minaj in at four. She's the fourth slowest artist. Doja Cat at three. BTS at two.

Yeah. Which I would have thought they're songs of quite high energy. Oh, Doja Cat. I haven't heard a slow Doja Cat song. Doja Cat. And Drake

was the artist that made Runners Run the slowest. Such passionate lovemaking to a Drake song. Really open up your Drake playlist and The artist that made Runners Run the fastest, Justin Bieber at 10, Olivia Rodrigo,

Ed Sheeran. He's got a lot of slow songs. Ed Sheeran's got the slow songs. I Olivia Rodrigo, Ed Sheeran. He's got a lot of slow songs. Ed Sheeran's got the slow songs. I would have thought that Ed Sheeran would have been on the other list. But lately, more upbeat songs. Perhaps. Rihanna at seven. Shawn Mendes at six.

Taylor Swift at five. Again, a lot of slow songs. A lot of slow ones. But you could probably name a song from each of these artists that is really up-tempo. Adele at four. Again, similar thing.

Mostly, I wouldn't have said, her songs were high BPM. Yeah, but you're running from your feelings. Yeah, you're running on that herd of a past relationship. Yeah. Britney Spears at three. Harry Styles at two,

which is interesting because his album was quite, I loved his last album, but quite mellow, some of those. And Beyonce was the artist that made Runners Run the fastest. But again, up songs. Up tempo songs.

Okay. So there you go. If you need some motivation to get running. I'm very surprised. Beyonce. Scary Clown. Scary Clown chasing you. Not on the list. EP from 2007 and make the list. Disappointed even. Yeah, 7.23. Next on the show. EP from 2007 in Make the List. Disappointed even. Yeah, 7.23.

Next on the show, I have a Christmas conundrum. It's not. It is. It's not. It's a horrible. It should be called Fletch is a Grinch Volume 4. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, last week we went and picked a Christmas tree as a family.

We went out to a place where you walk around and you pick one and you have a big flag and then the farmer comes down with his electric chainsaw, the battery-powered chainsaw. And every year we've been, there's an electric chainsaw and I always ask him how it's going. Has it still got battery? Is that what you ask him? Well, I mean, he's charged it.

He might have bought a new battery, but I'm like, how's that thing going? And he's like, yeah, nah, still going good. And I'm like, yeah, okay, cool, cool. Fascinating, fascinating. And this year we got one and it was a good size a little bit bigger than Shade wanted but not as big as I

wanted because I figure if you're going to get a Christmas tree it might as well be like bent over at the ceiling and we've got what do you call these ceilings? Pitched ceilings so it's taller in the middle of the house so my idea was we have it in a different position and we blow out. We get the biggest one we possibly can.

Yeah. She wasn't having it. So we met halfway. Okay. We compromised as every successful relationship does and pretty much just got what she wanted. Yeah. It was after that that Fletch said to me, how much did that cost? And I told him and he was like, you've got to be kidding me.

And I said, why? And he said, I'm in the market for a Christmas tree. And I said, well, how much did that cost? And I told him, and he was like, you've got to be kidding me. And I said, why? And he said, I'm in the market for a Christmas tree. And I said, well, isn't that something? Finally, he's going to be at home for Christmas. No, I'm going to be home, home. In New Plymouth. I'm going to do a couple of days. But you are going to be around.

For the majority of December. Because usually you scarper. You're off overseas somewhere or travelling around. Like last year you did the full New Zealand tour. Yeah, but not this time. I'm just going to stay around home. Yeah, so this is nice. He's going to get himself a little festive feel for himself

and Major Murray Fluffington. And then he said, what about fake Christmas trees? How cheap do they come? And I said, you're really missing the point of the festive season. Yeah, but this isn't why I need it, Vaughan. No, and then I found out the real reason he needs it. So I'm doing a, I've got to do a post. So my cat has his Instagram, Major Murray Fluffington,

and he is going to be doing, he's an influencer. He's a catfluencer. Pussfluencer. He's a pussfluencer. Pussencer. He's a pussfluencer. Pussfluencer. Not a pussfluencer. That's something different. Very different.

He's a pussfluencer. A pussfluencer. Pussfluencer. Yeah, that. And he's going to be influencing an advent calendar, a cat advent calendar. That's pretty cool. So each day there's a little cat treat behind it.

So I've got to do- Does he do any treats i thought he was watching his weight he's fine don't share my cat okay uh he's fine for christmas everyone deserves some treats after the year we've been so i know for this um photo he needs to be in something christmassy right so i'm like well i want to um maybe get a Christmas tree, but I don't want one. But I need one. Right. You can bring them to our house for a photo in the tree.

I don't know what he wants. He won't like that. He won't like that. He only really knows his house. Yeah. He won't like that. It's just annoying. What about your neighbours?

I don't know them. They could be anyone. Could you knock and be like, you're going to have a Christmas tree or both for five minutes, do you? Can't you get like a little foot high one? Like a table decoration. Yeah, like a table Christmas trick. I'll just get one of those.

This is, if you're purchasing this, and he's going to be catfluencing and being paid for it, that's a company expense. That's a tax deductible expense. You're already going to get GST back. Right, so buy a big Christmas tree and claim. Buy a decent one. Okay, right. And then keep it. But then I've got to

have this in my house. Oh my god. People haven't been doing that for a few hundred years in certain parts of the world. But then I'm going to be away for Christmas and then it's going to be there. I don't need a Christmas tree. I see them around. Like we've got one here at work work That's enough for me

That's enough Christmas Walk that home You won't look half crazy Walking down Queen Street Walking down that Christmas tree The baubles are a little full Because of those cheap ones No but also

Awful cheap string loops on them Also I've got to go to the supermarket After work so I don't want to Just leave it outside Holding your bag Or just take it in with me Put some googly eyes on it No one's going to mess with a guy Who's got a Christmas tree with googly eyes on it.

Well, I'm being forced to buy a Christmas tree, basically. And call it Christopher. Christopher the Christmas tree. Also, 17 days till Christmas. Oh, it's crazy. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. I mean, as soon as I start reading this email, you're probably going to guess what our opinions are on the matter.

We haven't been quiet or subtle on it, have we? Even looking at it again, I'm wondering if it's a question even worth asking. But here it goes. Yeah, we received this overnight. Yeah. Hey, guys! That's what I imagine someone saying, hey, guys, like when it's hey, guys followed by three exclamation marks.

Right. Hey, guys! I have a conundrum and I was hoping for help. My best friend is getting married in February. And I'm in the final stages of planning a hen's party next month. A January hen's party. Okay. I booked a venue that uses vaccination passes.

Every venue does. Every venue does, yeah. And to make a booking, I had to confirm that all members of my party would comply. So naturally, I sent an email out to all the guests to let them know and ask them to update their RSVP if that changes their ability to attend. Right. It's a very civil way of doing it, isn't it? Yeah.

After two days, I hadn't heard anything or had any RSVPs change, so I thought, all good. Until I got an email from a guest stating, I'm unvaxxed, dot, dot, dot, shit, cringe, like, face. Yeah. Do you think I could get away with using a friend's vaccine passport? Do you reckon they're stricter than IDing? I know.

How do I tell her no? She has to travel to come, so I don't want her making the trip to get turned away. I also don't want to condone someone committing vaccine passport, pass fraud. And also, I don't know if it's my place to encourage her to get the jab so that she can come. She still has time.

Because if she got one today and then in three weeks, it would be before the event. Never mind the fact that we're all having to fly to attend the wedding, which will also require a pass. So I have no idea how to let her know she's going to have to miss out on the whole shebang if she doesn't get it done. Well, I know people that are having weddings and they're saying you've got to have your Vax.

You've got to be fully Vaxed. If you're having it at a venue, the venue will require you. It doesn't matter if it's a wedding or if it's a funeral or if it's a mass gathering of people in an enclosed space. And you also can't go into like a venue that's a bar. You're going to need your photo ID with your Vax passport. Yeah. So it's got to match.

Oh, I would definitely say don't even think about dragging this men's party into debaucherous forgery. We're already looking to get debauched enough. Yeah. So all my thoughts are just tell her, get Vaxed or you're not coming. Yeah. Or is that the person that's getting married's job to say that, do you think? Hens party? Yeah.

Well, the person organising it could say to the bride, are you aware that they're unvaxxed? They're talking about using somebody else's pass and then the bride will. Because if they've got to fly to the hen's do. No, no, they've got to fly toxxed. Yeah. They're talking about using somebody else's pass and then the bride will... Because if they've got to fly to the hen's do. No, no, no. They've got to fly to the wedding. Right.

Which you can't fly. Well, you can get a test for that. Oh, yeah. You're not getting into any venues. Yeah. With a test. Yeah, heck. So what do you think?

You want to hear from people that are in similar situations? Well, if anybody is in a similar situation. Well, I mean, I've got a potluck dinner on Friday, and they said they're going to scan everybody, which I've got absolutely no problem with. Fantastic. I won't leave my wife in the house until I've scanned her every time.

I know it's her. Yeah, but it's always to be safe. Yeah, exactly. It'd be safe than sorry. So, yeah, it'd be interesting to take some calls. Are you in a similar situation with, I don't know,

a wedding coming up, an event, and you've got some friends that are on the fence, and maybe you don't know how to tackle it, or maybe you do.

Maybe you already have. Yeah, what should she do in this situation? I think personally, just hit her up and say, you're not coming because you're not

going to be allowed in any of these. Put it on the venues. Yeah. She could stand outside. And just what, look in? Yeah. That'd be nice. That'd be nice.

Still feel part of it. Still need to see what's happening. Yeah. So 0800-DARLS-AT-M. You can text in as well, 9696. What should this person do who's organising a hens do and has just found out one of the people on the invite list isn't vaccinated, still wants to come, possibly fraudulently by the sounds of things,

which is a big old no-no because you're putting people at risk. But what should she do? All right, give us a call. Well, to our listener that messaged in, they've got a hen's do that they're organising coming up for a wedding. There's an unvaccinated guest who doesn't want the vaccine, wants to use a fake vaccine certificate to come and party. Yeah.

Not the only one that is dealing with this. We're hearing from so many people with weddings and parties coming up where they're dealing with this exact thing, and they're really close family of friends. Do you know, someone said, ran into someone at a bar over the weekend. I said, how did you get in here? You're not vaccinated. And they said, I just used somebody else's and they never checked it against my ID.

Do you know the best thing that was about being out on Friday night was being in a bar or restaurant and knowing that everyone around you was vaccinated. Apart from that person. Yeah. Or used somebody else's pass. When you're actually like putting... If you get caught doing that Oh, I would have dobbed them in. Absolutely I'd dob someone in. Yeah. That's terrible. and are you somebody else's partner? If you get caught doing that... Oh, I would have dobbed them in. Absolutely I'd dob someone in.

That's terrible. Annie, what do you think? Have you been in this situation before? What should she do? Hey guys, so I'm getting married in February and we have decided to implement a vaccine passport only because

we're getting married in Rotorua and so they're in red currently. So if we didn't do that, we would have to have 25 people without a vaccination passport or we can implement a vax pass and it would be 100 people. Sure.

And so what's happened is my maid of honour is not getting vaccinated and my mum is not getting vaccinated. And so we're implementing this vaccine passport, but half of our family can't come and won't come. And so now it's like, do we just go back to 25 people or do we still keep it 100 and not have like a half-assed tweeting? Oh, yeah.

Wow. Because you want your, I know someone that got the vaccine because they couldn't go to their favourite bar. Like, surely your mum can get the vaccine. Come on, mum. I know priorities right now. Yeah, so it's kind of hard because we're in a tricky situation. But I guess, I don't know, if Rotorua went to green, Jacinda, I hope you're hearing me.

I don't think you're talking to the wrong person. You're talking about getting vaccination rates a little bit higher down there. I know. But, yeah, no, so that's the hard thing. And I guess a lot of other people are in the same situation. Wow. Okay. All right.

Annie, thanks. You call some messages in. So many people in this situation. Someone said recently had it. I said no vaccine passport. You can't attend. It's simple. Your actions have consequences and they're not always, not everything's going to go your way.

I've got a baby shower and the mother-in-law isn't vaccinated and she's just been told straight up not to come. Somebody else said, tell them they can't come unless they get vaccinated. Otherwise, they'll get busted for no pass or a fake pass. It'll take all the attention and fun away from the bride and the drunken tears are going to make you the bad person. Yeah. Also, we've had enough strippers as places of interest. They've been hard hit.

Get vaccinated. Come on. They have been. Get the hens vaccinated, please. They don't need to be shut down anymore. Just when you said hens, I was imagining chickens getting vaccinated as well. I was like, well, yeah, vaccinated chickens as well. Sure.

We've had a listener reach out planning a hens night. Yeah. And someone's not vaccinated. They want to use a fake vaccine pass, and they're in a predicament. Yeah, they've got a dilemma for this hen's party. So many people in this situation, and I'm guessing

family Christmas is going to be like this as well. Yeah. Because people are obviously, the small minority of New Zealanders are unvaccinated. Yeah. And it's like, well, do you want them around? Somebody said, trust me, if you bend the rules to the hen, she'll expect the same for the wedding. We're getting married in January and have already seen it.

We've just cut people off from both. Yeah. It's on them, isn't it, really? Yeah. We're in a similar situation. Our eldest son isn't vaxxed. We're having a big family dinner to celebrate our youngest son's birthday because he turned 21 in lockdown.

Told the oldest son he cannot come unless he gets vaccinated. Also can't come to the granddaughter's birthday because he turned 21 in lockdown. Told the oldest son he cannot come unless he gets vaccinated. Also can't come to the granddaughter's birthday because we've assured all of her friends, parents, and adults attending will all be vaccinated. He's missing out big time and he's a stupid egg. If my mum called me a stupid egg, I wouldn't know how to process it. I think that's what Ashley Bloomfield should say at her next briefing. You're a stupid egg. Yeah, yeah, look, look, look. If Ashley Bloomfield should say at her next briefing. You're a stupid egg if you don't get this done. If you're one of these other buggers, you're

a silly egg. It's meant to be a fun day celebrating the bride, not picking up the pieces from the drama of one selfish person that chose to break the rules that everybody else can obey. Prioritise the happiness of the bride and tell the unvaccinated person not to come. If the bride wants to catch up with that person on their

own, they can. Alright, Nicole, in a similar situation. Hi. So, yeah, I'm actually getting married in January, and I've got this very situation. I've had to contact people to say that they can't come if they're not vaccinated. Just caused a bit of a stir with some family members, and now I have family not coming. But you can't have

unvaccinated. You know you wouldn't be allowed them. Yeah. No, absolutely not. The venue stated that they'll go out of business if they don't do the vaccine pass, so they have to do it. Right. And yeah, that's where we're at. Are you that worried if they're not going to come? Are they top tier family or

are they just some cousins and aunties? Oh, they're pretty top tier family or are they just some cousins and aunties? They're pretty top tier family. But yeah, look, hey, at the end of the day, if they'd rather not come because of getting vaccinated, well then are they really that close? I don't know. We're a bit frustrated. Yeah.

Save a bit of money though from looking for silver lining. That's what I thought. They're big drinkers, too. Ooh, there goes the bill. God forbid they should put something in their body like the vaccine, but on the piss, yeah, of course. Definitely.

Definitely take in the known carcinogen. Amazing. Hey, Nicole, thanks for your call. Adam, have you been in this situation? Yeah, very much so. Well, I'm planning my stag do and thanks for your call. Adam, have you been in this situation? Yeah, very much so. Well, I'm planning my stag do and wedding for next year. Right. Like, we're just in that position where it's like,

if anyone's wanted to use a friend that's been passed, first and foremost, like, it's your friends and family who are, like, attending the event. So that's just ridiculous. And you want everyone to be somewhat safe. Yeah, exactly. You're basically putting the ones you love in danger. 100%. Someone saying, hey, I'm going to do something that is illegal

because you can get massive fines and put people at risk. But you're okay with that, eh? I would love for them to be fined a billion dollars. So what are you going to do about this then? How are you handling it? For us, it's very much about, like, you know, it's ultimately, you you know you have these vendors who are the ones who are sort of saying hey

you really need to ensure that you've got your vaccine passport so the person who's in that situation where they're like oh I really don't want to have that conversation just put it back on the vendor to say like hey well honestly the vendor said this and I'm just following the vendor's rules so it lifts that guilt from the friend and then ensuring that everyone

also who attends is safe really so yeah that's what it is. Good way to do it. Adam thanks you call. Common sense Adam they call him. Yes. Somebody said, someone has actually messaged in saying I am a vendor. Oh yeah. Please don't drag us

into this. Not like please don't drag us into this. Use this as an excuse but don't have somebody knowingly coming trying to sneak one past us. This is not what we need after months and months

of hospitality being shut down. We certainly haven't been encouraging that. I would say it's a real shit move. Yeah. And I'd say

if you see someone that you know, dob them in because kick them out. They should have one of those ones where you get a little MPA used to. Oh, like of those ones where you get a little.

Oh, like if we dob in, you get like $200 or something. Yeah. Yeah. The bounty hunters. We could be bounty hunters. Yeah. Yes. Like.

I reckon you could pocket a thousand bucks a night. Oh, easily. That's five people. Yeah, this is great. Yeah. They'll be the ones coughing. We'll get them. It's a great idea.

I love it. And it's also a great reality TV show too, The COVID Bounty Hunters. Yes. Yes. We wear masks, like full face helmets. Yeah. Like the Mandalorian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sounds great. Okay. I've got a Boba Fett helmet at home. Disney Plus will buy the show. I can see it now. I'm going to freeze those anti-vaxxers in carbonite.

ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. The 12 Days of Fleshmas. It's checking my Christmas countdown. 17 days, 15 hours and 47 minutes till Christmas. That's all. It's the 7th of December today. Yeah, I'm out.

That was the 6th yesterday. And insiders are saying the 8th is tomorrow. It seems to be getting closer every day. It's like every time the sun goes down and I rest my weary head.

When I open my eyes again, another day has passed. I know. Isn't that just wild? When will it end? You can register to play the 12 Days of Fletchmas. You go to ZM Online and you nominate yourself either on the naughty or the nice list. Who's on the nice list? And we're going to meet Casey right now. Casey, you're on the nice list. Who's on the nice list? And we're going to meet Casey right now.

Casey, you're on the nice list. Good morning. Good morning. How's it going? It's good. Now I've got Brianna waiting on the naughty list. She's naughty. She's naughty.

You're nice though. And I'm going to decide who gets a present from under our tree. So why are you on the nice list? Why do you deserve today's present? Well, I think I'm on the nice list because I made five new email accounts so I could get my grandparents and in-laws signed up to get their vaccine passes. Oh. I did this.

I used my, like, backup email for Nan because she didn't have an email and my parents had used both of theirs, the Gmail and the Yahoo. Mum only has one and she'd use that on hers. Yeah, what about your dad? He'd forgotten the password. He'd forgotten the password, so I think she was going to have to make another one. So you did all of that five times for your grandparents?

Yes, and I printed them off a couple each and laminated them so they could keep one in the car. You know what they were like at that age. That is so lovely. That's lovely of you. Because we all know how frustrating it is to help the older people in our lives with technology. But they wiped our bums.

Yes. That's what I think every time. Yeah. I'm like, they had to deal with this. Yeah. All right. Sometimes I don't even like wiping my own bum Yeah. I'm like, that had to do with this. Yeah. All right, well. Sometimes I don't even like wiping my own bum, so I can only imagine what it was like when somebody else was doing it.

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I always do a thorough job. I always do a very thorough job back there. Also, Circle of Life, you're going to have to do theirs soon. Nope. That's Ryman's problem. Oh, who's on the naughty list? That should just be on their billboards. That's Ryman's problem. That should just be on their billboards.

We'll wipe your old people's arses. Oh, my God. That would actually get people... And here's a nice home. Brianna. Brianna, good morning. I haven't pushed the button. Hi, Brianna. You need to do that.

Sorry, Brianna. How are you, Brianna? I'm good. How are you? Good. Why are you on the naughty list? Well, I'm on the naughty list because my partner gets up at 4.30 in the morning for the gym and his alarm always wakes me and our baby up.

So after he's gone to sleep at night, I sometimes change the alarm to an hour or so later so we can get him to sleep. Why doesn't he... And this never raises the alarm with him that someone's tinkering with his alarm? No, well, I've been doing it for a month or so and he just thinks he's so tired that he's been snoozing it.

That's wild. But also, like, that's an inconsiderate volume for the alarm if it's waking everybody up. Yeah, does he have a smart... I know. No, it's too loud. He's a deep sleeper. Does he have a smart watch? Because know, it's so loud. He's a deep sleeper. Does he have a smartwatch?

Because that just buzzes your arm and wakes you up without waking other people up. No, he doesn't have one. Surely there's going to be like a... There's got to be a solution here. Is he one of those a-holes that snoozes five times before he gets up? Oh, yeah, 100%.

Oh, I can't stand those people. Like, sit at once and get up. I know, and I've got a five-month-old baby, so he's been waking her up as well. Oh, no. I don't blame you for doing this. No, no, no, no, no. I don't blame you for doing it.

Oh, this is so hard. Again. Why is this so hard? Because people are good, but people are bad. Inherently, humans are both evil and angel. Live. I don't know. I'm really torn

today. I've already picked the present before you've picked the person that's getting it. I'm going to go with Casey. Oh, hello. I did love Brianna's story but I think doing what you did for five old people in your life

making emails and sorting out their vax passes is just absolutely amazing and you are the winner today of the 12 days of Fletchmas Vaughan you've got a present we're going to open this up you have won, Casey. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You have won a status anxiety handbag. Oh, my God. That is amazing. I need this bag desperately. Well, this is you. This is the cult bag. I thought it had money inside it,

but that's just paper to make sure it keeps its shape. I'm sorry about that. We just stuffed it with a non-existent budget that we have. Yeah, yeah. You would never have known. I even thought there was money in there if I hadn't brought it up. Well done, Casey. That's all yours.

Thank you. Winning today the 12 Days of Fletchmas. And if you'd like to register, put yourself on the naughty or the nice list. We'll do it again tomorrow. ZM Online. Next on the show. We pulled the price tag tomorrow. ZM Online. Next on the show. We pulled the price tag off.

She'll never know how much we spent. Good. Because we probably got that on sale. Did we get it on sale? I don't know. Did we get it on sale? No. Oh, full price.

Jesus, go us. Should we care? Casey, we care. Yeah, thank you. $8,000. It was $8,000. It definitely was. ZM's Fletchborn and Megan.

Right. So I have a lot of fuel cans. Like... Okay. Plastic. They're not all tin. I've got one tin one. Yeah.

And I've got all these plastic things that petrol goes in. For my lawnmowers and chainsaws. Right. All these different things. Couple of two litre milk bottles. Around the place. No. That will slowly eat away at that.

Right. Because you've got things like the chainsaw. Yeah, and right on lawnmower and lawnmower and weed eater and all these bits and pieces. Okay. So I fill them up. Do you look like- And then I slowly use them.

When you go to the service station, do you look like a doomsday prepper? I don't know. I always say my Land Rover, my old Land Rover, because I don't want any of the say my Land Rover, my old Land Rover, because I don't want any of the other cars smelling of petrol. Right.

And it doesn't have like material in the back. So it just like, if the petrol spills on the tin, it doesn't smell. So I always say that. So maybe I do look

like a prepper. Yeah. Because I always drive in like old four wheel drives and stuff. Yeah. Maybe a little bit. But this old guy

at the petrol station, the last couple of times I went, he said, don't, because I just go, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. When that's full, I just take it out, put in the next one, glug, glug, glug, because I just go glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug when that's full I just take it out, put in the next one

glug glug glug glug glug glug and I go on and I pay for all in one whack. Yeah, right. And he's seen me doing it. Okay. And the last couple of times he's like, don't do it all in one whack. Fill one up. Yeah. Until it gets to this certain amount. Right. And then hang the pump up.

Yeah. Pay for it. Stack it certain amount. Right. And then hang the pump up. Yeah. Pay for it. Stack it. Stack the savings. Because you know when you... What's... Because I don't have a car. I don't...

So when you're buying petrol, if you have a loyalty card... Yep. And you scan it... Which they all do, right? Yeah, all the petrol stations have got it. You get some points and then it's like you can use them then

or you can keep them for later. Right. And they expire after like a month or or you can keep them for later. Right. And they expire after like a month or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So that's another one that's caught me is that you stack it up and then they start expiring on you. You're like, well, why aren't I getting any more? It's because if you fill up once a week.

Right. You start losing them. Right. So you've got to cash them out. So then when you go and get petrol, the discount is for next time. Or do you stack? You can use it then. Right. You can use it then, which is to use it then, or you can

stack it up and collect them all and get it up to like 28 cents off. A litre? A litre. Up to a certain amount? Correct. Right. Up to 50 litres, is it? Something like that, right. So anyway, he gives me the breakdown. He's like, fill that one, pay for it.

Fill that one, pay for it. Fill that one, pay for it. Fill those two small ones, pay for it. Keep stacking. And by the end of it, fill your Land Rover up. And that one, you'll save a whole lot on it. So this last time, I went down yesterday and I was like, I'll do what he said. I'm going to follow his advice. He's told me twice in a row.

And I saw he was working. Yeah. So I was like, he's going to tell me again. I don't even know if he knows I'm the same guy every time. Okay. But I'm like, he's told me before. So I was working. Yeah. So I was like, he's going to tell me again. I don't even know if he knows I'm the same guy every time. Okay. But I'm like, he's told me before. So I did it.

Yeah. Was it annoying to pay each time? You just pay at the pump? I mean, it was a little bit. I paid at the pump, but a little bit. Okay.

It was a little bit slower. But I was in no hurry. Or to save 10 cents. Cool. I didn't. I saved so much. On the end of filling up the Land Rover, it cost me $28 less to fill it up than it did last time I filled it up.

What? I know. That seems like a glaring loophole. I know. That's like a gigantic loophole. Yeah. So because each time you fill up something and pay for it, you get that discount.

And then you put it on the next. And you get it added to your loyalty card. Right. But then do you choose when you use that discount? Yes. So you use it on the next. And you get it added to your loyalty card. Right. But then do you choose when you use that discount? Yes. So you use it on the big tank at the end. Correct. So could you.

But I was also going to get an ice cream, so I went into the store for the last one. Oh, okay. Because I worked really hard filling up all those tanks. And you wanted the old guy to see you. I wanted to see in person how much cheaper it was going to be. Right. And, okay, could you do that if you have a car with a big tank?

Say it costs you like $100 and something to fill up your car. Could you just go $40, pay, $40, pay? And then the last bit, nah, but then only the last bit would be like. No, because you've got a maximum discount that you can get off how many litres. Right. So it is best to work out for your specific vehicle how to do it. Oh, it seems like such a punish. It's a little bit of extra work.

It's a little bit of extra work. Huh, okay. But you reckon that's okay. You've got to work it out what petrol station you go to and how they do their discount. How many litres you have to get. Right. And you can max out the discount. Yeah, right.

So you obviously want to hit that perfectly or close to. And then can I use a supermarket discount? You can use a supermarket discount. There's so many discounts. But I don't think that's like save it for later. That's a use right now, then and now. So could you put in $10 in your car, pay $10 in your car, pay? It all depends on what your petrol stations...

Some of them have got, like, you've got to spend $40. Right. And then you... But you're not going to get... You know what you've just done? You've caused massive lines at service stations. Well, we want you to pay, put it in, pay, put it in, pay. The other option is you only

put as much it means you're gonna have to visit a petrol station more often and I still think I've got a really great business idea where I'll come and

fill your car up while you're at work I drive around in a truck with a cute little tank on the back how annoying that would be horrible

I've got three trucks on the go I've got a diesel guy I've got a 91 I've got a premium and we all go around and wow we've got a diesel guy. I've got a 91. I've got a premium. And we all go around and we've got a spare key to your car,

which is absolutely at your risk. And we open it up and we fill up your car. Well, I'm not doing it. I will employ people to do it. I can't imagine anything worse. Nothing worse than just like

on your way home and you're like, I've either got to stop for petrol now or at 4.30 in the morning. You know there's no money in petrol, right? They make all their money

on the snacks. So your business idea is terrible in petrol, right? They make all their money on the snacks. So your business idea is terrible. No, because I'm going to charge people more. A premium. Yeah, because they're lazy. Because they don't have to stop. Right, okay. They don't have to stop now.

I'm pretty sure the petrol station is going to want nothing to do with you after you let out the secret. Well, that's good because I'm starting my own. I'm not starting my own. I'm far too lazy. But work it out. Yeah, right. You might be able to save some money I'm not starting my own. I'm far too lazy. But work it out. Yeah, right.

You might be able to save some money. Yeah. Because it is pretty crazy expensive at the moment. Fact of the day, day have a super sniffer on their task, on their team. Staff. Team, their staff, yeah. And his job is to smell everything before it gets put into spaceships, spacecraft. His name is George Aldrich.

And he was the subject of season two, Episode 10 of Extraordinary Humans. He sniffs everything because he's got such a sensitive sniffer. Does he? Yeah. He sniffs everything, even non-toxic, because things change when you get into space. Yeah. Rapid temperature up and downs and the insurities of space and zero gravity and even things that are non-toxic

can give off odours that make astronauts feel sick. Yeah. Especially like when they're in a confined space and thus undermine their performance, putting other astronauts at danger and the entire mission at such. So he sniffs things. Nostril namus, they call him.

And he smells everything. This is because in 1967, there was a fire caused by a non-toxic, something that was non-toxic. Non-toxic material was leaking an odor. A juice, an odor. Okay. No, it was like a gas. Right.

A gas that was flammable. They could smell it. They said something's not right. Yeah. And it was just because of some rapid change. Right. And that led it to excrete the gas, and then that caused a fire and three astronauts died. So he could sniff it out? So he sniffs things to see if they give off any unpleasant odours

or anything that makes him light-headed. He just goes around sniffing it all. Goodness. He's a professional sniffer and he's full-time employed by... You'd want to be on your game as his friend. You'd want to be deodorised. Oh, yeah. You know?

There's a picture of him. Do you remember in science that, like, if you never, like, sniff something, you put your nose straight over the beaker and go, like that. You hold it away and you wave, lightly wave your hand and you can waft it. But look at this.

Old super sniffer himself taking a nostril right over the beaker. He just looks like an accountant, doesn't he? I don't know what I imagined he'd look like. You imagining some sort of rock star with a huge nose? Yeah, giant nose. With a small nose. Small nose. Little button nose.

Looks like an accountant. Let's see. Or a GP. A GP. Kind of looks like a GP or an accountant. I thought you meant JP, like a justice of the peace. You've got to track him down at the local library to sign your passport copy before you send it away. He could do that.

He could definitely do that. So today's fact of the day is there's someone who works for NASA and their only job is to sniff stuff. Fact of the day, day, Vaughan and Megan. Well, a story out of the UK, and I'd actually be interested to know how many drivers of this age we have in New Zealand, but a 99-year-old has got their license in the UK. Never having driven before, they've learnt to drive.

They've got their provisional licence. They didn't just lose it in their 50s. No, they've never, never had a licence. And they were like, you know what? I'm going to learn to drive. I'm guessing they've always taken the bus or the tube. Why would you learn? I guess maybe you're bored?

Yeah, I mean, I'd imagine when you're older, it can get pretty boring. So according to the Motoring Association, Motor Easy, this is in the UK, the 99-year-old is also joined by a 97-year-old and two 96-year-olds who applied for their provisional licenses in the last, like, five years. Right. So I'd love to know, like, New Zealand's oldest, like, learner or restricted that's just applied. Yeah, well, that would be information that we could acquire,

shouldn't it? But, man, how slow are they going to drive? I don't want to be ageist. They're learning. Yes. And they're old. Yes. But it was a chance to rub into the fact that producer Jared,

this 99-year-old got their licence first pop. Wow. How many times did it take you to get it? Took me three times. Yeah. In your defence, though, you do have to stop at traffic lights here. In South Africa, you roll through. It's encouraged not to.

It's encouraged not to stop. Yeah, I'm not a good test taker. So it was my learners. Do you crumple under pressure? It's just I have to hold a pen and then I have to write stuff. I'm much better at it. Well, that's why you failed your driver's license. You're supposed to have a pen.

You're supposed to be concentrating on the driving. Oh, no, it was the learners I failed. Oh. The easy. How many easy parts? It's the easy bit because you know what the questions are going to be. It's not a surprise. The scratch things.

I've never been a studier. Yeah, look, it didn't go well. Three times that took you? Yeah, so I did the learner's test four times. Wait a minute. Four times? Carmen, did you just call me a boomer? Do you not do the scratch test anymore?

It's all online now, isn't it? Yeah, I did that online. What? You could cheat! No, because I've seen when you go in to get your... When I got my driver's license renewed, they were all doing it at a computer. I saw them.

Could you do it in your own computer, though? No, you have to do it at the BTNZ or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Or the AA is where I saw it. What, do you get a certain amount of time to type your answer? I'm pretty sure they would just, like, click the answer. I remember BP used to sell them and there was like 10 or 20 different ones that you could use.

Yeah, do you still buy the road code from a bookstore and go through and learn all the answers? It's all online. It's all online. All online. What a world we live in. So, producer Jared took you four times to get your license, your learner's. Yeah.

How many times to do like the full and restrict it? Did you have to do that again? No, those ones I kind of crushed. Kind of crushed those pretty easy. What does kind of mean? I think I did one thing wrong. Okay, right. Do you know what one got me?

When you spend too long at a giveaway. And they're like, oh, no, it's a giveaway. You're just supposed to make a call and roll through. Better safe than sorry. The one that got me was when a roundabout's painted on and you just drive straight over it because there's no actual race. Oh, there's no garden in the middle. Yeah, it's like, it's surely indicatory.

Yeah. Is it not? That's if people are coming around, get in the middle of the extra room, otherwise you're straight out of the guts. The fact that a 99-year-old got their driver's license in the UK, first pop, we want to ask this morning, we want to ask this morning, how long did it take you to get your licence? Can

anybody beat producer Jared with three times, four times? Why are we saying three and green? Four on the fourth. I did it three times, passed on the fourth. Four times, we say four then. Wow. You're really bad at tests. Alright, 0800 Dials at M.

You can text as well. 9696. How long did it take you to get your license? Maybe you've got a funny story about what happened when you were actually doing the practical as well.

Yeah. Maybe you crashed into someone or you kept crashing. Maybe you just can't hill start. Do they mark you down if you get a little squeal going and jumping on a hillside?

I think so. So a guy in the UK, a driver, actually doesn't say the sex of a woman. It does. A 99-year-old woman in the UK got her driver's license. And first time, unlike producer Jared, who took the fourth try to get his learner's. And we want to know how long it took you to get your license. Someone said I should never have got my full license first time, but I did because the person marking me

fell asleep. They were like and I noticed that they'd woken up and then they apologized and said that I had a really late night, a really rough night. Oh, okay. And then passed me. Just so you didn't ask any questions. Yeah, I guess so. If you failed, they'd be like, well, he fell asleep. Yeah.

It took me 16 years to get from my learners to my full. I can't remember the exact amount of times I failed anything, but 16 years, but I'm an awesome driver now. Okay. Well, everyone thinks they're an awesome driver, don't they? Nah, some people know they're bad drivers. True, okay. I'm a truck driver.

When I first went for my class two license for the truck, I failed eight times. It cost me over $500. Okay, are they good now? How are they now? Well, they're driving a truck, so hopefully they're confident. Those things drive themselves. And good. My uncle was 40 before he got his license,

failed it multiple times. I ran someone over when sitting my restricted. I don't know how badly the run over was, if it was a tap or if they went up onto your bonnet. Right. Jules. Jules or Jules? Jules.

Jules. Jules. Jules. Like the singer Jules. No. Yeah, kind of. Kind of. Is it spelled J-E-W-E-L or J-U-L-E?

J-U-L-E. Oh, so it's quite Jules. Oh, I've never seen a single Jules. I've never met a single J-U-L-E. It's always a J-E. Oh, I've never seen a single Jewel. I've never met a single J-U-L-E. Like a Jules or a Jules. No, it's got with an F. With an F at the end. There is an S.

A Jules. Oh, okay. I thought you were a singular Jewel. No, no, no. Jewel. I feel like we should still play Jewel. No, there's no need to play. There's no need to play Jewel.

There's no need. Now, Jules, how long did it take you? There's no need to, what Jill song is this? Is this You Were Met For Me? Or do you want Who Will Save Our Soul? Or do you want Foolish Games? Foolish Games. Foolish Games.

Foolish Games. Yeah, obviously. Hello. Jills is on for a little Foolish Games. Now, Jills, how many years? Foolish Games. How many times did it take you to get your licence? Right, so past learners when you're 15 years old

And I think that was a scratch test And then went on to my restricted And then sat on that for 15 years And then work told me that I needed my full licence For insurance purposes Yeah, because you've been breaking the rules all this time Yeah, for a long time And then I got five driving lessons,

worked pay for five driving lessons, and it was the first one where he finally didn't tell me to pull over and said, you would fail. Every time, like, we would drive, he'd say, pull over, and I'd pull over and I'd go, what? And he'd go, you would have failed, because say, pull over. And I'd pull over and I'd go, what? And he'd go, what a fail. Because he went, it's a horrible song. No, it's making your story way more emotional than it should.

I'm almost in tears hearing about this guy playing his foolish games. So carry on. He's always like, pull over, pull over, pull over. Pull over. So, yep, pull over. And I said, why? And he goes, because you were going 60k in a 50k zone. And I said, there's no one that goes down this road.

That doesn't mean the speed limit isn't quite, Jewel, you fool. Anyway, five lessons later, I was able to set my full load on task. Yes! Okay. Jules and Joel, thank you for sharing this morning. It's four minutes away from nine. Keep your texts coming in. Man, some great stories.

We'll get to the rest of those next. A 99-year-old woman got her driver's license in the UK. First pop, More than producer Jared, he got his on his fourth. We want to know how long it's taken you to get your licence. Some great stories and text messages coming through. Kelsey, how many times? I took

seven times for my learners and five for my restricted but I got it first pop on my full. Yeah! I mean, practice makes perfect, doesn't it? Absolutely. In my defense, it was definitely the instructors, not me. Okay.

They were nasty. Two of them got fired after I sat my license, not because of me, just because they were horrible people. So I think that they just put me into such a nervous wreck, I just couldn't handle it. Wow. Yeah, and their argument was, well, we need confident drivers on the road,

so this just isn't okay. And I said, well, what are the chances that when I'm driving, there's some creepy person next to me with a clipboard judging everything I do? Exactly. Amazing. Kelsey, thanks for sharing. You'll remember before I said someone hit somebody.

Yeah. And with going with their restricted. Yeah. And we said, I wonder how bad it was. Did they roll up? They said it was bad. They went away in an ambulance. Okay.

But again, no word whether or not they were running across the road. Yeah. Someone said seven attempts for learners, four restricted. The friend that taught me to drive told me you don't need to worry about cyclists. You do. What? Not worrying about them. Doesn't mean running them over

or nudging them. Probably not giving them enough room. Yeah, all that stuff you're going to be testing on. You've got to give the cyclists room. Or if they're riding like three beside each other, you give them the horn. Just to let them know you're there. No, it's important. It's a warning, is it? Yeah, but horses, no.

Horses don't get the horn because horses Yeah, this is why you're not a driving instructor. Well, that was all very sound advice. All very sound advice. I failed my instructor the first time because I mounted the footpath parking at the end. Haven't done it since and had never done it before, but that cost me my license my first time around.

My cousin failed his license and the instructor made the mistake of telling him when they were still out on the drive, so he got really shitty and kicked the instructor out and said, walk back to the license office. That's why they don't tell you straight away, right? Until you get back, yeah. They don't want to be kicked out. They don't want to walk. ZM's Flash Warner Megan.