ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th July 2020

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

Aussie is banning something  Community Notices  What your sleeping position says about you  Producer Jared had a date  Rich Siblings  Radio Tinder!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day DaaaaaaaaySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch Water Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. You did that so much better than Fletch does it. We're currently 15 meters above sea level broadcasting from our studio. How do you know we're only 15 meters above sea level? My watch told me. We're way higher than 15 meters above sea level. Isn't sea level change like I don't know. With the tides. No it says. Is it a high tide sea level or a low tide sea level or a mid tide sea level? My question in conversation. I'm going to ask, is sea level measured at high tide?

The common and relatively straightforward meaning of sea level standard is the midpoint between a high and a low tide at a particular location. Sea levels can be affected by many factors and are known to vary greatly over geological timescales. Oh, learning. What are you doing now? But do you have that as a setting on your watch? Yeah, it's in the compass.

No, I just put my chair right up and it's at 15. Hang on, let me just go down. Still at 15. No, it's because... Stand on your chair. It's higher, no. Stand on your chair. It's not way higher than 15. Stand on your chair. Be careful.

What do you mean, no? I want to see if the changes help. No, it won't because it's, no, it's a topographical point of the map. You could be on the top floor of this building and it would still be 15. Oh, I don't get it then. But see, like, I believe. Yeah, I'm at 16. That's bullshit.

So we're way higher because we're four or five metres higher than street level. Well, it should be 17. Yeah, we are. You're right. Yeah, so that's bullshit. Yeah, it should be seven to... Yeah, we are. You're right. Yeah, so that's bullshit. Yeah, that's not right. Fucking who do I talk to? This is...

I think that is when you're... Plus, you're standing on your chair. I know. I reckon I'm at least 20. That is when you're in a non-built-up area. I reckon I'm 20 metres above sea level right now. Yeah. 15, 4...

Yeah, I'd say at least. At least. At least. Okay, well... I'm glad we've solved that. Well, enjoy today's podcast from 15 to 20 metres above sea level. ZM. Hit music.

Lives here. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. What? That's the quietest you've been all morning when we go on air. It's been a passionate pre-show today. The microphones turn on and Smithy says good morning. Good morning. It's been a passionate pre-show today. The microphones turn

on and Smithy says good morning. You've been a punish. I've been getting shit done. I think we can all agree. Tomorrow's show is already planned. Passion yelling. I mean it'll be shirt and ideas left, right

and centre. Like one of those automatic pitching machines I mean, it would be shirt and ideas left, right and centre. Dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug. Like one of those automatic pitching machines at a baseball club or a softball club. It's true. You are hard to work with. Depending on the... I beg your pardon. Hey, where's the puzzle page? They've taken the puzzle page!

You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. Producer Jared brought that in and we all gave him shit. We're like, don't put the paper in front of... Don't give Vaughn the paper. It's got puzzles in it. You know what he's like with his puzzles. He's taking the puzzle page.

I will judge on you. I take it back. There's a crossword on the back page. That's a lot harder though, Vaughn, you realise. Salad plant. Rocket. Mescaline. It's eight letters.

Spinach. S-P-I-N-A-C-H. Seven. Lettuce. L-E-T-T-U-C-E. Seven. R-O-C-K-E-T. Six. What's mescaline?

M-E-S-C-U-L-I-N. Eight. Mescaline. Yes! You spell it. M-E-S-C-L-U-N. Mescaline. No, you're losing all the letters.

No, how's it spelled? No, that's a naturally occurring psychedelic alkaloid of the substituted phenylycine. Which one, me or mine or hers? Mescaline. No, mine. I'm right. Mescaline. The salad is U-N.

M-E-S-C-L-U-N. M-E-S-C-L-U-N. That's only seven. What on earth goes in a salad? A salad plant. I need a salad plant. Lettuce. Iceberg.

Does it have to be? Could it be like cucumber? No, that's seven too. No, it says plant. That says to be a leafy. Yeah, it's got to be iceberg. No, that's seven tall. No, it says plant. That says to me a leafy. Yeah, it's got to be iceberg. No, that's only seven. Oh, God damn it.

This is good. This is good. This gets the brain going. There's someone screaming at their radio right now. Is there? They're screaming at it because they can't figure out how to change the station. It's radio crossword. Radio crossword. There's a Crossword. Radio Crossword.

There's a new signal. Radio Crossword. No. All we're here is Radio Crossword. We can really use that. We don't even do the Radio Doctor anymore. Come on, there's not that many other songs with radio in the title. Coming up on the show, the top six this morning.

The top six salad plants with eight letters. I've just Googled there. I can't find any, so I think you'll be stretched, mate. Is this the cryptic? Nah, because the cryptic's always like, purple children fly backwards. You're like, what the? Are you on about cryptic crossword?

Well, the top six dealing with Carole Baskin. Yeah, she's doing cameos where you can pay money to get a personalised message from Carole Baskin. The top six types of messages you'll get from Carole Baskin. All right, it's coming up. Also bad news for TikTokers. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM.

TikTok could be banned in Australia by the Australian government. 1.6 million Australians use it, which isn't a lot when you consider, what's the population of Australia? A jillion. That's just, I guess. 45 million? Of Australia is 24.99 million.

Who? Yeah, 1.6 million. You're right, that's not many considering. I wonder how many Kiwis use it Yeah, I don't know But in Australia The Australian government Is looking at banning it Because of national security

So it's a Chinese company That owns TikTok And they are Worried that they're sharing information. People are sharing information with the Chinese government. Or is it the Chinese Communist Party or something? Yeah, right. And they're big on their facial recognition too.

So if you're doing a TikTok, you know, dancing, you could be in their database and cross-reference when you travel to China. Right. And then they'll see you walking along Vaughan Smith. They'll be like, oh, he did that.

He did that dance. Jason Derulo. Yeah, I get that you shouldn't share private information and stuff, but like, what information are they going to get

from like my TikTok? That I'm a good dancer or? Date of birth. Can you do any in-app purchases in TikTok? I I'm a good dancer or? Date of birth? Can you do any in-app purchases in TikTok? I don't know. Your nudes? Do you give it access to your album? I don't know.

This is purely speculation. That's the thing. When you install a lot of apps, you always just click, yep, okay. And you give a lot of apps access to a lot of your info that you might not even think it needs or anyone needs. I tried to click accept the other day

and I must have clicked read more, like read the information. And I was like, whoa, there's a lot here. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Accept. Yeah, no one reads. Nah.

It's like one day you should probably read that. Nah. Yeah. One day you should probably read that. That day is not today. There's a lot of tension with China and Australia at the moment, so I don't know

how that would go down if they banned TikTok just to get back at China. And how do you enforce it? Like if you've already got it downloaded on your phone? I don't know. It just would disappear. Yeah, it'd disappear from the app store. It's just like when you go to China and they block heaps of apps.

You just can't get through their servers. So you might have to set up like a VPN. Oh, I just love the dog videos. You're still on, mate. We'll still be able to give China all of our faces. Oh, yeah, true. Yes. Every single one of them on record.

Even when you con your grandad into doing a little jig. God, he doesn't trust the Chinese government. That's mostly because he's racist, but he doesn't trust anybody. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, I don't know if you guys saw this yesterday, the ad that was released, it only seems a few weeks ago, starring the naked porn actors, the knock on the door, and the kid drops his bowl of cornflakes because he's been watching porn online.

That's living, though. That's what? Living. Eating your breakfast and watching porn. With your cornflakes. Yeah, I mean, obviously, not at that age. No. Because that's an unrealistic, you know,

young fella might have unrealistic expectations. Sure. That has been viewed more than 22 million times around the world. It's even been retold, I'm guessing dubbed over in different languages. Oh, really? In different countries, yeah, and kind of re-released. Isn't that cool? It's awesome because it's such a progressive message

and it's from like a bunch of Kiwi creatives, right? Yeah. Has anyone thought about what it would be like to be that kid in the ad? Because you'd have to go to school and you'd have to live with this forever. Like there's going to be one of those BuzzFeed articles like what happened to the the kid in the porn ad here he is 10 years later or 20 years later how old would that kid be do you think when he like did the ad he fully understands what he's like doing like signed up for

because that's yeah i know because they're pretty good through like a talent agency or something right yeah that's probably signing up because they thought he was pretty cute but he also wouldn't have been, I mean, the porn stars won't be standing there when he's standing there. They would just tell him to drop his cornflakes. So he doesn't really know. Oh, yeah, that's true.

You don't even think about that. That's a good call. I don't know if they're ever in the same shot, but isn't there a shot over their shoulder? I don't know, I'm just loading up the ad now. He sees the ad all put together. He's like, um. Oh. I didn't even raise his hand. No, you're right then. Oh, no, there's one where you can, I don't know, I'm just loading up the ad now. When he sees the ad all put together, he's like, um. Oh.

I'd never actually. No, you're right then. Oh, no, there's one where you can, it's a shot from behind him and you can kind of see them there, but yeah. But they're also not going to be naked. They'll just be two people standing there. Yeah, yeah. I never actually thought about that, yeah,

how they would have filmed that, but yeah. Because I'm sure his friends at school probably have informed him of, you know, what the ad means. He'd be famous in the playground. Oh, be nice to him. Does he get more money now that it's been, like, adapted? I don't know, actually. Or, you know, watched around the world and stuff. I hope so.

Yeah, me too. I'm just looking. I paused it. I hope so. Yeah, me too. You're just watching the air. I paused it. I've got to, like, I'm having a good look at him. Just being like, yeah, no, you definitely know him. If you were to go with him, it's not like, no, that's not me. It's just someone that looks like me. Oh, buddy.

No. Probably got a new PlayStation out of it. Yeah. Some pocket money. I hope so. Fletch, Vaughan of it. Yeah. Some pocket money. I hope so. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. You can get Carol Baskin to do you a cameo, and that is how Carol Baskin has banked about $20,000 after one day on the video dedication website. Wow. So this is where you pay celebrities to record your messages. And it depends on their celebrity status. So I just Googled, you can get NSYNC's Lance Bass, $249.

Just a video message. Or you can Zoom call with him for $1,250. We can request the Carole Baskin cameo for $199 US dollars. I'd rather have Carole Baskin than Lance Bass. We should just pay and get her to say hey all you cool cats and kittens. Yeah.

You're listening to Fletch Form Making. I wonder if an endorsement is different to to make you pay more. Yeah. Because this is just like a hello You're listening to Fletch. I wonder if an endorsement is different to... Oh, yeah. To make you pay more. Yeah. Because this is just like a hello or like a happy birthday, but if she was to be endorsing something...

Just get her to say a paragraph and we'll cut together her words. Yes. Good call. Yeah, yeah. But she's banked just under $20,000 in her first day. Wow. And you can go on to Cameo and see a selection of her,

I didn't know this until literally right now. Do you want me to play one? Yeah. Sure. What do you want? Do you want pep talk or birthday celebration? Oh, birthday.

I want to do pep talk. Okay. I thought that would consist of. This is a pep talk from Carol Baskin. Hey all you cool cats and kittens at the Goddard School. It's Carol Baskin. Hey, all you cool cats and kittens at the Goddard School. It's Carol Baskin from Big Cat Rescue. Brendan was telling me that you're all in good spirits

now that you're getting to return after three and a half months of being off due to COVID-19. I'm glad all the little kitties have you guys there to help them learn how to read and write and do all of the things that are going to be necessary to lead this planet. Where's your husband, Karen? Carol.

She has a Karen though. Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. It's Carol Baskin at Big Cat Rescue. Nicole, you are one cool cat. Alex and I both agree that it is just amazing the way you volunteer both in Florida. That's a birthday celebration. Right. just amazing the way you volunteer both in Florida. That's a birthday celebration. Right, okay.

These are all fairly like, there's nothing, like you'd want a bit of pizzazz. She's got to paint by numbers. Yeah. Hey all you cool cats and kittens. Yeah, if she didn't say that, you'd want your money back, wouldn't you? So the top six types of Carol Baskin cameo messages are number six on the list is the Hey all you cool cats and kittens, Holy Communion. If you just joined the church, you could get Carole Baskin to give you a,

Hey, all you cool cats and kittens, Happy Communion. Number five on the list of the top six types of Carole Baskin cameo messages, a septic tank company endorsement. Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. Want a heavy duty septic tank that'll never have to be replaced or moved, thankfully. Number four on the list of the top six types of Carol Baskin

cameo messages. Maybe you just bought your first house. What better way than to have Carol Baskin call you a cool cat and kitten for getting into home ownership and to turn your house into a cat sanctuary. Not a big cat sanctuary. She's got that.

She's got that covered. She's got that market cornered. Number three on the list of the types of Carole Baskin cameo messages. A just married Carole Baskin. Oh, okay. Hey, you all, you cool cats and kittens, congratulations on your marriage. She can give you some tips on marriage. Because did you see how lovey-dovey she was with that dude?

Like, she led him around on a leash and stuff in that documentary. So she might have a couple of tips for spicing it up. Number two on the list of the types of Carole Baskin cameo messages is they're just divorced. Because she's, you know, she's separated from people before, hasn't she? Yeah. You don't know where they are. She could be just giving you a little chin up.

Yeah. You know, you cool cats and kittens, there's heaps more fish in the sea than your cat and a kitten, so you're like eating them and playing with them. And number one on the list of the top six types of Carole Baskin cameo messages, it comes just after number two,

the recently divorced but your husband's gone missing? Cameo message from Carol Baskin. Just telling all you cool cats and kittens this stuff. This happens. This happens. They do that. They do it all the time. They just disappear.

Don't look at the septic can. As I previously endorsed, they're very heavy duty. Certainly wouldn't need to do that. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I saw on the news last night that the people of Flaxmere have had a guts full of who they're labelling boy racers. Although that's very gender specific.

I've never thought about that because there's girl racers. But what do you call them? Aren't they car enthusiasts or something now? I believe so. Yeah, they prefer car enthusiasts. Yeah, car enthusiasts. They're driving like lunatics in the Flaxmere area now. The locals have had a town meeting or two to decide what to do with this whole situation.

And Henley. Ali Express road spikes. I've said all from the start, buy your own road spikes. How much are they going for at the Mo? I'll have a look. What other deterrents do Ali Express have for far cheaper than you get them in New Zealand? Anything, mate.

Anything you can think of, Ali Express have it for $2. I'm imagining they'll probably even have an installable judder bar. Oh, yeah, maybe. You'll be able have an installable judder bar. Oh, yeah, maybe. You'd be able to install your own judder bars. And maybe even the signs to go with it to indicate that here comes a judder bar. What are those? Those look like the things that come out the back of the Batmobile to puncture the tires of whoever's chasing them.

You don't want to just scatter those haphazardly. Yeah, and I don't know if they do road. Would there be another? What else would you call road spikes? Because I'm just getting a lot of, like, snow team. What do they call them on American shows?

They call it something. Boom. And they go, across the street. Yeah. Road spikes and... Because nothing's coming up. Something strip or something strip.

Oh, no, I can't remember. I don't know. Anyway. But anyway, no, it's not... But what they are suggesting is a way of solving it, or at least a deterrent could be purchased, no, I can't remember. I don't know. Anyway. But anyway, no, it's not. But what they are suggesting is a way of solving it, or at least a deterrent could be purchased maybe. If you've got AliExpress up in there, how much does a paintball gun cost? Apparently brought up as a little bit of a tongue-in-cheek idea

at a community meeting, but it gathered a bit of steam. $32. Buy your own. Wow. Okay. But yeah, Henare O'Keefe is saying that it was just a bit of a joke, but some residents have considered it a favorable solution. So if you saw someone driving erratically, you're crazy,

you'd pop, pop, pop, pop pop pop them with a few paintball and then that indicates to the police yep that this is a person that could be uh wanted or have been reported for dangerous driving and this would be the proof yeah but you can't be paintball no like then you miss and you hit the neighbor's cat or you hit the neighbor yeah vigilante yeah Yeah, right. Because that's the problem. And then it's up to the individual who's now armed with a gun to work out who's driving too fast.

Someone could be doing 49 k's an hour and they'd be like, that feels fast. Yeah. I'm just going to put a couple of greens in the side of them just to let them know I think they're going too fast. And then where does it stop? And they have their window down. They hit them in the face.

They hit them in the eye and they drive over. Yeah, they hit a pedestrian or they smash into a power pole and injure themselves and then does the punishment for the crime. My brother was a car enthusiast. Was he? When we were younger. What kind of car was his enthusiasm? RX7.

Holy shit. I wrote to him. His major pet peeve was when you wore jeans and then you leant on his car because you got little... The rivets. The rivets. So I'm thinking the traffic cops need to wear jeans, and then if they ever pull over like a boy racer, just lean on their car.

Be like, I'm going to slide, unless you pull your head in. Yeah. If I have to pull you over again, I'm going to slead. So I head in. Yeah. If I pull you over again, I'm going to slid. So I found these on Wish. That's okay. You got some Batman. But they're just like little puncture triangles that you hold in your hand and you throw on the road.

Oh, like little spikes. Like nails. Like jacks. They're pretty hard to stop the point of the chasm. Wish has got everything. How much do those cost? $8. Oh, my gosh.

Down from $29. You can get that and a meth pipe for $10. What's interesting though... Is that a combo deal? People who bought these often bought a glass pipe. What's interesting though is the 10 times tyre punctured triangles anti-theft spikes have 1,300 reviews. And what's the general feeling? Five stars or...?

Yeah, awesome item I would buy again. Slightly bigger than expected but perfect for my James Bond car build. Maybe they have a contraption that ejects them out the back. I have so many questions for these people. Yeah, they're pretty cool. Sharp AF. So that was somebody's review. These are pretty cool.

That's in German. But mostly just giving a four to five star review Without any comment Arrived a few days late But perfect For what? I don't know but that's a lot of people Justice has been delayed

But now that I have them Shall be dealt Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM ZM Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there and welcome to Community Notices. Let's start

on pre-loved items Gisborne, where Lindley writes, does anybody want some cornflower? For free. It was Dad's, but he's gone into a rest home and I don't use it. Pictured, white bag of corn flour. Yeah, that looks like

a white bag of something else. Comment, as you can expect, can we be sure it's corn flour? And she said, yes, I've tried it. But surely you just pop this tiny bag of corn flour in the cupboard

for the next time you're making a stew and you haven't got the thickness you required. Oh, yeah, true. Or in the bin, yeah. Like, yeah, true. Or in the bin, yeah. Like, yeah, just buy some more if you need some. And does cornflour, Megan, you maybe know more about cornflour

because you'd use it at the cafe, I'd imagine, or just for culinary excursions. Does it have a best before? No, I don't think so. Does it lose its cornflower-y? I'd be more worried about weevils, you know. Yeah, you don't want to bring weevils into your other dry goods, do you? No.

Does flour go off? No. No, I don't think so. Your baking soda and powder does. I know soda loses its sodary. Yeah, sodaness. Because I've had baking soda in the pantry for ages. Oh, don't be making a volcano because you won't be getting the squirt out of your vinegar

and soda that you want. I think I used some in my last banana cake. Was it that flat? I don't know. It was a good banana cake, though. Soda would make it rise. The powder in the soda gets you... At least it was old.

Oh, God, I'm going to have to buy some more soda then, aren't I? Sounds like a good idea to me. Sounds best to be safe. Yeah. Why not list your old stuff on the local community board? While we're on the East Coast, let's pop down to the Boycott Online Community Hastings Napier page. Laura asks, this is out of the

red. Color blind when it comes to sayings. This is out of the red, but does anyone know if you got to pay to get a divorce? Oh, okay. Sort of a public declaration that there's a divorce pending there. Let's cross to our divorcee on the show, Megan.

You do, actually. You have to pay to file the paperwork. What costs more, getting married or just the paperwork? Getting married. The paperwork of getting married. No, getting a divorce does. Does it? Yeah. How much is the paperwork? Getting married. The paperwork of getting married. No, getting a divorce does. Does it? Yeah.

How much is the paperwork for a divorce? Is it $150? Does that include a name change? No, you can change your name for free if it's a marriage. Do you get a deal, like a bundle deal? Do you get a bundle deal? What, for all your divorces? Yeah, no, for marriage and then divorce.

Oh, no. Because, you know, sometimes you bundle. But you have to buy that when you're getting married. Your partner's like, what's... You've bought a combo. The receipt's got a... What is this other one? Yeah, they upsold me.

Yeah. Ah! Just in case. $40 cheaper if we get divorced. So I thought, why not? Okay, if you're

getting married at the registry office, it costs $240, including ceremony, or $150 is just what it costs to apply for a marriage license.

Yeah. $211.50 is the fee for applying for a divorce. And that's if you don't have lawyers and all, if you don't have to go to court and stuff. How much do you reckon you could get for your ex-husband's PlayStation on Trade Me?

Because that could cover the divorce fee. Do you reckon I'd get like $200? What is it, a PlayStation what? Four. Yeah, I think you probably would. Okay, you'd cover your cost. I've got a PlayStation 5 coming out soon, though, so. Hurry up and sell it. Yeah, sell that before probably would. Okay, you'd cover your costs. You've got the PlayStation 5 coming out soon, though, so. Hurry up and sell it.

Yeah, sell that before people get their eyes on the prize for a five. Yeah, it'll be a flooded market. Now that we've covered the cost of divorce and that coming out of the red, let's pop in for some cat drama on the Rolleston community page. Paul writes, unwanted cat. My son got a cat and it's been living on my property for months. I have no pet policy and I don't want this cat here. I've called the SPCA and they told me they would take it if they had space, but told me to try to rehome it on this page. The SPCA said, as the landowner, if the cat has lived here for over three months, then legally the cat is mine

and I am free to remove it. I have very few details of this cat. All I know is that it's black and grey and about six months old. Contact me if you want the cat. Why doesn't he get his son to? Charlie has commented. No one is taking our cat. We've been house-sitting my mum's and we'll be back in a few nights.

No one is taking the cat. So the son who bought the cat has been away, not looking after the cat. Oh, wow. And someone said, I am collecting the cat, yes. No, no, you are not taking our cat. Onwards goes the debate. Has the cat got a home?

Someone said, yes. And then Charlie says, Gucci is homed. Gucci. And he is my cat. He has a home. Oh, no. Gucci will not be leaving the house. I thought it was called Gucci.

Gucci, that's a great name for a cat. Great name for a cat. And what's the latest? Where did that leave? That's where it was ended. Oh, no. We don't know where Gucci is. I need to know that Gucci is okay.

It hasn't been rehomed. It's renamed. Versace or something. Charlie will be Devo. I'll be absolutely Devo. And finally, from the Whitby community page, someone says, hello all. I know this sounds strange, but I'm dead serious.

Is anybody else finding random pineapples in their litter box? Wait, whole pineapples? Or tins? Whole pineapples. Oh, that's Wait, whole pineapples? Or tins? Whole pineapples. Oh, that's inexpensive. Because that's what Dylan's question was. Whole pineapples? Question, hand on face emoji?

And someone said, yes, whole pineapples. I'm honestly so confused that it keeps happening. Do you eat them? I'm not wasting a pineapple. I love. They take three years to grow. I know. And we treat them like garbage.

Yeah. They're not a one-season wonder like an apple. Sure, you waste an apple, big deal. Yeah. You waste a pineapple, that's three years that pineapple took to grow. But do you trust eating one that turned up in your litter box? Absolutely. Okay.

There it is. There's your answer, folks. Trust mystery pineapples Those are today's Community notices If you see anything You can screen cap it And send it to our

Facebook page FVMZM Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM Sleeper experts Have revealed what The position you sleep in

Means about your personality Because we all sleep Differently I guess it Is a reflection of Who we are as a person. I've got a couple of manoeuvres, sleep positions. A couple of favourites.

You've got a couple of hot manoeuvres in the bed, do you? I just look through them all. My husband's one's not on there. He sleeps like he's dead. He lies on his back and puts his hands together on his chest. Like you'd put someone in their coffin. Oh, that is weird. Like that? Yeah. Or sometimes he closes his hands together or just like across his chest.

Like he's a vampire. Yeah. I don't like sleeping on my back. I can't do it. It's so weird. It's so weird. Lately I've been, I do it where I like drift off on my back. But as soon as I'm like sleepy, I just roll straight back into the position.

So the first one is called the fetus. So this is when it resembles a fetus in a woman's womb. So you are, about 41% of people do this. You are legs tucked up, arms together. You're kind of curled, like you'd rock on the floor when you're like stressed. I don't do that, but you know, like you're rocking in the fetal position. I had no judge if you did. On your side. Yeah, right. Yeah. Does anyone do that? So know like you're rocking in the fetal position on your side yeah right

yeah does anyone do that so that's a leg tucked up nah I never tuck the legs in I kind of do that like I'll

but I'm mostly on my stomach you like tuck your legs up but I'm a mix of that one not fully up or I'll have a spoon of my pillow sometimes

what I don't know sometimes in the morning I just do that and I'll wake up and I'll be like oh that's weird you're cuddling your pillow how big is your pillow I don't know. Sometimes in the morning I just do that and I wake up and I'll be like, oh, that's weird. You're cuddling your pillow.

How big is your pillow? I don't know if it's like a warmth thing or not. Or a lonely thing. Yeah. That's too small to say. Nah, it's all good. You should get one of those long pillows. It's like you've got somebody in bed with you.

That's real sad. You wake up and you're like, oh, it's just me and my pillow. No, because the pillow doesn't move and talk and stuff. That's great. I should do that. Because you have it between your knees. Yeah. So it keeps you on your side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like on my side. It's good. I like it. Okay. Well, that says about you that you are a very sensitive person. That's exactly right. Sensitive soul. You are difficult very sensitive person. That's exactly right.

You are difficult to relate to. Yep. And people sleeping in this position are generally timid and closed at first but soon let the conversation flow. Very timid. Okay. I wouldn't say timid. I'd just be like, doesn't want to talk to you. Yeah.

The next one's the log. This is people who lie on the side with their arms down. So you're on your side. I guess one arm's like in front of the other. Right. So you're just in a log, but you're on your side. Right. What does that say about you?

That's weird. You're defenseless. You've got to have your arms up. 15% of people sleep like that. They are credulous, easygoing people, and it's easy to get close to them because, yeah, I guess they don't have any guards up. Because they've got because, yeah, I guess they don't have any guards up. Because they've got their arms down, yeah, they don't have their guards up. The yearner is people who sleep on the side with both of their arms in front of them, guards up.

Right. So 13% of those people, they are quite open people, but they can seem suspicious at times. They take their time to make decisions, but they usually stick to it when they finally come to a conclusion. Okay. The soldier on their backs with their arms pinned to their sides. You're just an Australian. That's kind of like you were saying your husband sleeps,

but his arms are on his side, they're on the stomach. On his chest. Folded across his chest. I had like a sore, like a pinched vertebrae thing, and I had to sleep on my back. I hated it. With your arms down. Yeah.

So they're impulsive or nervous. People who sleep in this position have difficulty accepting... Oh no, that's the next one. That's actually me, the next one. Okay. So the people who sleep as a log are quiet and reserved

and don't tell people about their personal lives. Is that your husband? Actually, he doesn't really people about their personal lives. Is that your husband? Actually, he doesn't really go into his personal lives with people. Right. Yeah, right, okay. A free fall, this is me. This is when you sleep on your tummy. Yeah.

Your head's to the side and your hands are under your pillow. Yeah. You're like cuddling your pillow. That's how I'll go to sleep. Yeah, okay. Do you wake up with a stiff neck? Yeah. Yeah.

It's not good for your neck. It's not good for your neck, is it? In fact, I've got a picture of my... Do you have a dead arm? Because your other arm's down there. The weight is on your arm. You wake up and you're like, oh my God, my arm's gone. I know.

And then you're like, oh my God, how heavy is my arm? Whoa. My arm's real heavy. So they're impulsive or nervous. They have difficulty accepting criticism or dealing with extreme situations. This is you to a T. This is you too. You don't accept criticism.

Do you sleep like this, Vaughn? I sleep half like that. No, yeah, nah. I don't. I sleep on my side at the top, but I twist at the hip. And so the bottom half of my body's flat, but the top half's on its side. And I know it's a problem because when I watch The Chase and all those old people ads are on, there's a few ads.

There's that ceramic heater that will heat outside of your house quicker than any gas heater can. There's the bed that goes and it'll like

sit you up and stuff. And there's the pillow ads. Yep. And when you buy the pillows now, you can get something that you shove between your legs

and it holds you on the side. Oh, yeah. Which is what I need to get because, yeah, the bottom half rolls. Yeah. So what is it saying that Vaughan's bottom half is more open to people? Sure. Your bottom half is more open-minded.

It's a very open bottom half. Because you're not protective of it. It'll try some stuff and the top half's like, no. No, no, no, no, no. I don't want any part of this. I'll be over here. I'm not looking. I feel like that's weirdly accurate.

It is. The last one's the starfish. You're a spread eagle, but your arms are behind your head. Who sleeps like that? I know. Like they're being cat. Or they're being pinned down by police. And your legs are apart. so you're starfishing.

What about just your hands are above the pillow? Yeah, I could imagine arms out in that position, but I couldn't imagine arms behind the head. Starfish. That's just when you've got the bed to yourself, right? And you do that for a couple of minutes, and then you roll onto one side, and you go right into the corner,

and you sleep on the 20th piece of the bed. They make friends easy. They're always available and considerate, and they don't like to be the centre of attention. But they the 20th piece of the bed. They make friends easy. They're always available and considerate, and they don't like to be the centre of attention. But they'll be the centre of the bed. Right in the centre. Yeah, right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Producer Jarrod, we've mentioned this a few times, really reeled in the Tinder matches over lockdown. 400, 400 plus. Yeah. And then like a good whiskey or a good wine, he cast that and let it mature. And now he's decided to start. Going on some dates. Or drinking the wine.

Crack that barrel open and see what's come of these, some 400 matches. And apparently he's been on a date. Yeah, I had a date over the weekend. How's Tinder been since lockdown? Because everyone was bored at home and now that they're allowed to go outside, has it

quietened down? Yeah. I don't know if that's just from me but yeah. It's definitely slowed down a bit. Maybe everybody made some really positive connections over lockdown. And everyone's in a relationship. And they're just working their way through the Rolodex of options that they have accrued for themselves.

Right. So was this an old match or a new match? It was an old match, and I actually slid into her DMs just before we went on holiday. Okay, so a week ago. And what were you just like, was she going to date? What was your pick-up line? What did you say?

I think I commented on whatever she posted, like replied to it in the DMs. Like cool waterfall. It was probably like the hands emoji. Oh, yeah. Okay. Now wait, the hands up?

Hands up, yeah. Kind of the praise. Hallelujah. Yeah. Praise the roof. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, so we talked for a good emoji Yeah Okay Yeah so We talked for a while And then We were like Yeah let's hang out And Who decided though Like who initiated the date

Me Yeah definitely me Okay Alright But it was a group decision On the activities We got up to It's a group now

A group A two person decision Mutual Right Mutual yeah Okay yeah Because I thought Things just got a bit kinkier All of a sudden Yeah the activities we got up to. It's a group now. A group. A two-person decision. Right, right, right. A mutual decision. Yeah, because I thought things just got a bit kinkier. She's like, I'm bringing some friends.

Yeah, so all 12 of us went to town. Yeah, awesome. All right, okay, so where did you decide to go? We did go to town, so we went out for a boba tea, if you guys have ever had a boba tea. I love boba tea. That was my first, like, proper experience. You know, I was at the big slimy balls.

The tapioca balls. Yeah. I don't like the texture. I don't like the texture. Yeah, it was a bit weird. And the big straws. The thick straw. Massive straws.

Yeah. The thick straw, and you've got to get a good... And you have to really, like, puncture the top to get it in, and I made a hell of a mess. And sometimes the bubbles go straight down. You're like... I know, like, you haven't even swallowed. They just go...

You're supposed to chew them because they can be different flavours to the liquid. Oh, I didn't know you meant to chew them. They were too slimy and all. What the hell? When I ate it, I was just like... They're flavoured. The whole experience.

Oh, yuck. No, it's not for me. It's just like jelly. I think I've missed the boat on that, Bubba Tea. Bubba Tea? Bubba Tea or Bubble Tea. Bubble Tea. Yeah, OK. I'll say it's Bobba. Bobba.'ve missed the boat on that bubba tea bubble tea or bubble tea bubble bubble tea yeah okay also it's boba boba it's a brand isn't it bubble tea all right so that was the bubble tea yeah i don't know too much about it um it was nice though yeah quite delicious okay all right then what happened on the date um then we went for a wander and we went to

one of those shisha bars jesus yep get a bubble tea then a shisha. It's two opposite ends of it, it really isn't it? Isn't that like a thousand cigarettes? Yep, something like that. Yeah, right at once. Is it? Is it? My hardest part about the shisha bar is sitting on the mat because you know I can't sit on the ground because I can't cross my legs.

You don't sit on the most modest table. I can't find a comfortable way to sit on the ground. Right. Are you guys going to place it with seats? Don't worry, I go authentic when I go shisha. I know when we went to Dubai and we went into the desert and did it, we were all just like, how many cigarettes did we just smoke?

Yeah. I feel very good afterwards. I just Googled, according to research carried out by the World Health Organization, the volume of smoke inhaled. Who? I'm not falling for that again because you've got me twice already with that. The volume of smoke inhaled in an hour-long shisha session is estimated to be the equivalent of smoking between 100 and 200 cigarettes.

Oh. Oh, God. Holy shit. But it tastes like apples. Watermelon. One gulp of shisha is equivalent to smoking 10 cigarettes, according to another doctor quoted. Oh, my jeez, Louise.

Never again. Wow. Good Lord. That's crazy. Okay, so you've bobed, you shishaed. You had 100 ciggies, equivalent. Watermelon flavour. Yeah, then we hung out a little bit more and I dropped her home.

Okay, well, that's exciting. Was there a kiss? There may have been a little bit more and I dropped her home. Was there... Okay, well, that's exciting. Yeah. Was there a kiss? There may have been a little smooch. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, good. Was there a smooch?

There was a smooch, yeah. Okay, and then what happened? That's it. Are you the second date? She called me while I was driving home. Oh! Ooh! This is either really good or really bad,

or I've left my sunglasses in your car. Like how long into the drive? It was about a half an hour drive and I was about 10 minutes away from home. Okay. Did you pull over or keep driving? Hands free. Okay, good. All right.

Let's take bets. Okay, so who thinks it was like, turn around and get back here, stud muffin. Who thinks it was that? I'm calling that tech. I'm going for let's have another date. That was fun. Okay, so that's kind of. I'm trying to think what I would, if I was calling 20 minutes after they left,

I'd probably be like, turn around and come back. Yeah. It all depends on the person. But why wouldn't you text? There's a bit of a girl code about how quickly you should be in contact, isn't there? Yeah. What is the girl code? But then if you kiss, you'd be like, okay, well, he's keen.

You'd just be like, shit, turn around and come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, okay. That's what I reckon. Yeah. But then I was always thinking, the girl thing is you don't want to seem too keen, right? You're treating men keen. But then you always read that guys quite like it when you act keen, as long as they're keen.

Guys, yeah. I don't know. Well, let's, Jared, what happened? She said, hey, I had a really great time. Okay. I think we should hang out again. Oh, yeah. As friends.

Oh, my God. Why did she ring to say that? Why not text? Personal touch, I guess. She decided 20 minutes she had to say, yo, we're just friends. Friends, yeah. Oh, babe. Now, do you think it was the bubble tea that put you into the friends?

It might have been. It might have been. Potentially. Next time, open with, you go to the whiskey bar first. You've got to try these things. Bubble tea didn't work. And you want to drink, so you've got to go these things. Bubble tea didn't work and you want to drink so you've got to go opposite end of bubble tea which is

a dark, dank whiskey bar. You've got 399 other matches on Tinder. Nah, I deleted Tinder. How keen were you? She spent 20 minutes wondering how she was going to call you and be like, alright, how do I friendzone this guy? You spent 20 minutes wondering how she was going to call you and be like, all right, how do I friend zone this guy?

You spent 20 minutes being like, delete Tinder. No, I deleted Tinder after she shut me down. I was just like, no, I've had enough. But what, buddy? But what, because you were hurt? I was a little bit sad. But now you've lost the other matches. You'll never get 400 matches again unless we go back into lockdown.

Don't be mean. No, it was a lot. We're saying that it was a lockdown. You just deleted the app. The account still exists, right? I did both. Oh, no. You just, like, did an absolute, like, burn off.

Yep. Yep. It was an emotional time. Time breaking. What a rollercoaster that was, eh? Wow. And then you celebrated on Sunday by playing Dungeons and Dragons with the boys. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Who needs a man? Did you tell her about that on the date? No, that didn't come up. Okay. It's just one night. I reckon she probably would have called you 10 minutes after you dropped her off. Zayn Malik, very rich, but he also has a sister.

Safar, I think is how you say her name. She has just been gifted a house, a whole house from Zayn Malik. £254,000 he spent on a luxury home for his sister and her husband and their newborn daughter. So what country is this in? Is this back in the UK? In the UK. That's not much for a luxury, like you think about New Zealand house prices.

Like that's pretty cheap for a luxury house. Half a million. He is, I've just googled, worth $65 million estimated net worth. Holy moly, I never really expected I thought the One Direction guys had made a bit of money, but I just thought the way that they came together

under the management and everything, I thought we could be hearing the story about how they all got duped. Yeah. And especially because there's five of them. And Harry Styles as well reported net worth of 75 mil. So pretty even. But then, I mean, Harry probably doesn't take into account his latest album and the tours that he hasn't been able to do from COVID.

Yeah. But he bought her a house and he's also bought his parents a house. He bought her a house just down the road from them. I wouldn't accept a house if my brother was like, My brother won. What? Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't.

You would so. You wouldn't. Fuck off, you up. No, I wouldn't. You would so. You wouldn't. Fuck off, you up. And he's like born. I've won one over whatever. I know we've had our differences and fights in the past. No, it's not even that. Like, we get on fine at the moment.

But I just couldn't. Nah. Why? Like, he wouldn't take it from me either. Too proud, I think. Like, it's a bit stupid. Oh, my God. But totally too, like.

I don't need your help. Yeah, I just can't imagine your brother Phillip in One Direction. It'd be really weird. He would be the different member. Great news for Niall, who always stood out before. Yeah. Now that Phillip's in the band, you're just blending on in. Come on, though.

He's all of a sudden rich and famous and he's you're not going to accept a house from him because you're too proud. Oh my god. If my brother offered me anything I'd be like yeah. Because he'd just be able to look and I'd know he was lording it over me. Yeah that's the thing.

Just take the house and don't look at it. You imagine if he came around and he walked in and he was like, just that noise. I'd be like, fine, have it back. But it's fair to say out of the three of us don't have that super close, you know, like those siblings that really, really, really love each other. Like, we've all said that, haven't we? Yeah.

Oh, I love him. It's just very different. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. But, you know, there are those siblings that would go on holiday together. Oh, no. No. And, you know, there are those siblings that would go on holiday together and... Oh, no. No. And, you know, super close.

Like best friends. Yeah. Yeah. Those kind of siblings. It's weird because my kids get on really well 90% of the time. Yeah. And I'm just like, huh. This is weird.

My brother called me the other day and I shit myself. I was like, oh, my God. Something's happened. Something's dead. Who's dead? He never calls me. What do they want? And I picked up and he was like, oh my God. Something's happened. Someone's dead. Who's dead? He never calls me. What do they want? And I picked up and he butt dialed me.

Oh. I was like, well, that makes me feel better. At least something bad's happened. Thank you. But that's how little we talk. We never talk on the phone. Okay, so if he got rich and famous, would you accept a house from him? Absolutely.

Same. There's not many people I wouldn't accept a house from. But turn it the other way round. You get rich and famous. house from him? Absolutely. Same. Oh, there's not many people I wouldn't accept a house from. But, turn it the other way round. You get rich and famous. Would you buy him a house? Yeah, I'd buy him a house. I still wouldn't call him, though. I'd buy him

a house, but I'd lord it over him. Yeah. Which is why I wouldn't let him buy me a house, because I assume he's going to do the same thing. He has the same motivations as I do. Okay, I wonder, could we take some calls this morning? Does anyone have, like, a rich sibling? Like, a rich... And they're, like, they're just way rich.

Have they bought you anything? And if they haven't, would you accept it if they did? Yeah, yeah. And when Prince Charming came around with the shoe, were you put in the, like, in the attic and told to be quiet while they took a squeeze into the shoe? It must be it in the, like, in the attic and told to be quiet while they tell you to squeeze into the shoe. It must be hard having a rich sibling, though,

because you just be jealous all the time. Why would you be? No, you can't be jealous of that. Like, don't be jealous of people's wealth. If you're motivated by that, you'll never be happy. They might not have other things that you have. Yeah, money doesn't buy happiness, but it should give it a good shot. I will spend it to try to find the happiness.

Well, yeah, I want to see if anyone's in this situation where, I mean, obviously, you know, the rich sibling doesn't have to have Zayn Malik or One Direction type of money. But, you know, maybe you've got that rich sibling and it does kind of cause some issues. Maybe they've offered to buy you something and and it does kind of cause some issues. Maybe they've offered to buy you something and lord it over you. You said no.

Or you just took it because why not? It's free. Yeah. We're talking about rich siblings. Do you have one? Because Zayn Malik just bought his sister a house. She accepted it. Megan's just running through some hypotheticals with her brother, Justin, on Facebook.

Well, he said he's not rich or famous this week and I said, I'd buy you a house, but a really little one. He messaged back to say, I definitely wouldn't accept it. I'd live in a caravan before I took it. Good man. Good man. Wow. Okay. I retract my offer for the future.

Remember that, because if you win Lotto, you can buy him a nice caravan. I'll help you out. I don't need your help. No, he'd live in a Lotto, you can ride a nice caravan. I'll help you out. I don't need your help. No, he'd live in a caravan, but not one I bought for him. Oh, okay. Yeah. Good.

That's a good one. He's so stubborn. I love it. So we want to know if you've got a rich sibling and, like, how rich and, like, does it cause any problems? Or have you accepted anything from them? My brother is a high-paid asset management accountant in the UK and earns a six-figure wage. He maybe visits my parents

every two years and when he does, he might be home for a month and he only sees them for four days of that month. And when he's home, he doesn't treat them very well. But then yesterday,

I found that he's purchasing my father a classic car and is shouting my mother an all-expenses-paid trip overseas when the borders open again. Well, he's just buying their love? Yeah. Comes in and misbehaves

and then buys their love. Sounds like... Interesting. Sounds like fun. If you're a devilish sort. Yeah. I am the rich sibling, somebody says.

Okay. And I hate it. My siblings expect me to pay for everything. I did buy my sister a car and I've helped both of my siblings out with bills. Oh, that's nice. I wouldn't buy them a car. Why?

Because they'd just never be? Or I'd buy them one that I knew they didn't like. I'd buy them like a big people movie or something. But we've only got one kid. I was like, well, there's room to expand. We don't need a previa. Yeah. You do. Yeah, we've got one now. I was like, well, there's room to expand. We don't need a previa. You do.

Yeah, we've got one now. Kate, do you have a rich sibling? I don't only just have one. I have two rich siblings. How rich are we talking? Probably both millionaires. Oh, wow. That's a real kick in the guts.

Yeah, pretty much. Are they happy? Oh, he's a yes, I guess, wow. That's a real kick in the guts. Yeah, pretty much. Is it though? Are they happy? Oh, yes, I guess. Yeah, but Megan was right when she said you can't buy happiness. No, she didn't say that. I was being sarcastic. She said she would.

I believe Megan said something along the lines of, the only thing that will ever make me truly happy is money. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they don't ever have to worry about money so I guess that's a bonus. Have they ever offered to buy you anything or like do you get good presents at Christmas? Not really, Megan you'll get this, my sister once bought me a red door. It's my mum's perfume. Vaughan's mum is a big red door.

Kristy loves a red door. Yeah, not really when you're sort of 20. It's not ideal. So we're kind of juggling for a house, and I don't expect anything off them either. But, yeah, it's tricky sometimes. Yeah, right. Yeah, because what do you even buy them for Christmas?

It's very hard. Nothing. Very hard. Nothing. They're fine. Now, the problem will come when they're like, should we buy Mum and Dad a new car for Christmas? Should we go thirds?

And you're like, no. I know, yeah, absolutely. Oh, wow. Yeah, that would suck, wouldn't it? Yep, a little bit. But, hey, that's life. I don't know what to say. No, Kate's happy.

Yeah, you do. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm happy. Yeah, definitely. I'd be much happier if they bought me a house, though. Right. See?

True. Kate, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. My sister is a lawyer and lives overseas. She pays for me to come and visit her. When I'm there, she takes care of everything. And we do things like fancy spa dates and shopping sprees. Oh, I'd accept all of that.

I'm having a baby and she's buying Bubs and Most Amazing Stuff. I'm just a receptionist. You're not just a receptionist. You are crucial to the recepting of that company. You're the director

of first impressions. You are. Yeah. Damn it. Don't refer to yourself. I don't want anyone referring to themselves as just a.

Exactly. Yeah, you can accept their goodies. You don't have to say I'm just a. Yeah. Don't you let anybody tell you you're just a.

Anything. Unless your name's Justa. And then it's probably short for like Justine or Justin or something. Or maybe it's Justa. It's the only reason to accept that name. You're Justa. I am Justa. A proud person of Polish descent. Sure.

I'm imagining Justa is Polish. I don't know. I'm starting to paint a picture of Justa. Yeah, right. Big dude. You were thinking woman, weren't you? Nope. Big dude. Okay, right.

Huge Polish dude. One of those attractive, large types. Okay. You're like, oh, strong but silent. Where is this going? Yes. We're delving too far into your... Feel free to stop me whenever you want.

Okay. Do that later at home Flesh for an Amigan The podcast ZM Flesh for an Amigan's Radio Tinder Sexy It's just like Tinder but on the radio More confrontational

Joining us in studio to play our first ever round of Radio Tinder is Rochelle. Good morning. Morena. How are you? I'm extremely excited to meet some potential husbands, maybe. Wow. So are you on Tinder at the moment?

I'm going on and off. It's a bit of a, you get a bit sick of it and you jump off and then you're like, ah, I'm bored again and jump back on again. Have you ever matched with producer Jared, who famously during lockdown got 400 matches? Look, I'm bored again and jump back on again. Have you ever matched with producer Jared, who famously during lockdown got 400 matches? Look, I'm very impressed by this. And maybe if this doesn't work out, then maybe I can swipe right on a producer out there.

Oh, okay. And she's met you in person. Okay, look, if this doesn't work. What does that mean? Like that? No, I just meant like that's even better swipe. And she's seen you. Is that how that sounds?

I meant like she's met him in person already. So that's like an extra swipe. And she's seen you is how that sounds. I mean like she's met him in person already so that's like an extra swipe. Okay. No friend zoning here. Do you like boba tea? Yeah I've heard that you've got to chew it.

It was a riveting discussion. I'm going to chew the balls. Now I would have. How How Radio Tinder works is we're going to find out

a bit about you now Rochelle and then we're going to ask out a bit about you now, Rochelle, and then we're going to ask guys to call, and you're going to swipe on them on the radio after we learn a bit about them. Cool. So it is going to be quite brutal. But let's find out about you first. Now, what do you do for a job?

I'm a primary school teacher, so I work with year 7 and 8, so that's 11 to 13-year-olds. Wow, just before they head off to college, yeah? Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and so hence holidays at the moment? Yeah, and I'm pretty bored already, so I'm here. Aren't you meant to

say we do lots during the holidays? Oh, we do, but we need a holiday first. Okay, yeah, fair call. How long was your longest relationship? Would have been about seven months, and it was when I was in America. Okay. What did you do in America? Oh, the typical worked at a summer camp, but I worked with special needs months, and it was when I was in America. Okay. What did you do in America? Oh, the typical worked at a summer camp,

but I worked with special needs children and learnt sign language and stuff like that. I know. Did you learn American sign language or New Zealand? I learned American, then came back to New Zealand and learnt New Zealand sign language. Is there much difference? Yes, pretty different.

A few Zs in there. The Z is this, whereas American alphabet's all on one hand, which makes it easier to multitask. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So what are you looking for in a guy? Physical or?

My must-haves is somebody that can look after themselves at a party that I can take to an event. That is a great one. I'm not here to babysit. I do that during the week. I don't want to do that in the weekend. It's really sexy when you like just, you've taken your boyfriend

for the first time to a party and they can handle themselves. And they're talking with the lads over there and you're with the girls over there. Am I allowed to go sit in the car? Is that concentrate looking after yourself? As long as you're ready to take me home later when I'm like blackout. I'll just be listening. Talk back in the car. I'm going to knock on the window

when you're ready to go home. God, it's lucky you're married. My hangover buddies. What is your age range on Tinder? Like what kind of guy do you want to call up now? I'm not like, I don't have a age preference.

Okay. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. But above 26, nothing above maybe 35. Okay. It's a pretty big range, I feel. I don't know. Okay.

What else do we need to know? Is there any physical attributes or your... I love good lush hair. You bitch. How dare you come into our kingdom and taunt us with foreign treasure.

Okay, all right. Have we found out enough info? Do you have any hobbies? So I own a cheerleading gym, competitive cheerleading, and I coach that in the weekends, and I travel internationally taking young elite athletes overseas and

if you've seen cheer, I'm pretty much Monica. Right. I thought you were about to say I own a chairlift. I was like cool. That would be cool too but you're a chairlift. You have to own the fountain or

no one just owns a chairlift. Hot. You have to own the fountain or... No one just owns a chairlift. I know. I got really excited because I thought you were about to say chairlift. And I was like, cool. Maybe you got a luge as well. Okay. All right.

Well, right now, we want to play Radio Tinder. We want to come back next. So if you're a guy and you've been listening and you think, well, heck, this sounds like a bit of me. Rochelle sounds great. I've got a lush inner hair and I can look after myself at a party. So it's like Tinder, but it's on the radio, so it's a little more brutal. We have Rochelle in studio who is looking to meet her future husband. I don't know if she said that.

She did. I'm quoting. I'm looking forward to possibly meeting a potential husband. You never know what you're looking for. That's just honest. That's what everyone's, you know. If you're not going to like settle down, then what's the point?

Sure. Okay, well. So I guess what we'll do is we'll get, we've got guys calling up now, 0800DARLSATM. I guess you just ask them a few questions and then just like you would on Tinder, swipe left or right at any stage. Cool. All right, let's firstly meet AJ.

Good morning, AJ. Oh, g'day, mate. How's it going? It's good. All right, well. AJ, meet Rochelle. morning, AJ. Oh, g'day, mate. How's it going? It's good. All right, well, AJ, meet Rochelle. Hello, AJ. How are you going? I'm going wonderful.

Now, I've got a question for you. Oh, straight in. Yeah, straight into it. For Super Rugby, which team would you be going for? Oh, Super Rugby. I don't really follow. You're a bit like a breaker. I do love, like, that's

kind of my dream date would be going to a rugby game and eating some warm, some overpriced chips and warm beer. Oh, no. Nothing more romantic than that. So who's your team then, Rochelle? If it's either the Blues or the Crusaders,

depending on who's actually playing at the time. Family goes for Crusaders, but I'm in Auckland, so I think I have to go for the Blues. Right. Okay. Well, you haven't had to for many years, but they're doing okay. I know, they're doing fantastic, so now I'm okay to say I'd go for them.

It's all right to support them again, yeah. And they've got Dan Carter, so. Yeah. Any more questions? Or are we swiping? Okay, one more question. I have never seen the TV show Breaking Bad. What?

I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What series are you ashamed to say you've never seen? Good question. Oh,

series. I've also never seen Breaking Bad, but maybe Game of Thrones? Me too. Oh, you guys have all seen it? That's great. You guys have got a TV That's great You guys have got a lot of TV that you can watch

You've got a lot of TV that you can watch Yeah Alright We can swipe right Are we swiping right? Let's swipe right Is that the good one? Yeah

That is the good one Vaughan's never used Tinder Alright well AJ Congratulations We're going to put you in touch with Rochelle. Sonny joins us for Radio Tinder. Good morning, Sonny. Good morning.

How are you? Good. Oh, so you're going to say... AJ's going to hear all your next dates. Sonny already knows all the answers to, like, the dream date stuff. I just have to say yes or no, right? That's the answer. All right.

So my plan in the future is to travel overseas. If you were to join me, where would be the first stop in our vacation? Oh, I quite like the vibe of Caribbean. So maybe around Costa Rica, Cuba. Oh, yes. Remember, I've seen a jaguar in Costa Rica. It's a beautiful country. All the mojitos, mate.

Yeah! Yes! I want to swipe right on Sonny. I mean, you're welcome to. I'll step back if you want. Radio grinder. This is how radio grinder would work. You can't drink beer in five minutes.

I finish work at nine. See you in there. Great. Stop talking. We've talked too much. Send me a picture of your job. Radio Grindr. Anyway, back to us.

Yeah. That's good. I'm hearing a bit of an accent. Is that correct? Hearing an accent? Yes, if you are, yes. And what would that be? Do you want to have a guess?

Do you speak another language? I do. Can you say something to me in that language that's appropriate for the rodeo? Yeah, namaste. He doesn't know.

It's a lot of pressure, okay, I don't teach yoga at school. It's yoga, it's yoga. It's yoga. He's from yoga.

Do you have any questions for me, Sonny? Outside rugby, what other sport do you like, if you like? I'll tell you what I don't like. It's golf because my dad tried to force me into it growing up and it's just a little bit slow, but I love netball. I'm down for some netball games. I was in Prem's netball for about a week before I realised it was way too hard.

And I have gotten into sailing. My flatmate's into sailing, so we watch a bit of sailing. I kind of get it now. you try and make a triangle or something and then the wind pushes you and the winning boat wins. I don't know, something like that. All right, are we swiping left or right? Left.

Oh. Oh. Sorry, Sonny. That's all good, mate. It's okay. You're cool. I thought you were going to swipe right. I thought you were going to swipe right.

Look, you know, you've got to be a bit picky these days, don't you? Oh, my God, that was brutal. Sonny, you're cool, I promise. Henry, good morning. Yeah, g'day, mate. How's it going? Good. G'day, mate. How's it going? Good. G'day, mate.

How's it going? How's it going? Yep, yep. Hey, Rochelle. How are you going? I'm going great, Henry. Question for you is what do you have planned for today? Oh, today I'm actually on the late shift at work,

so I'm just up having a bit of breakfast and hanging out and thought I'd just give you a call. That's basically it. That sounds wonderful. Yeah. What's for breakfast and can you cook me breakfast? For breakfast today, I've just cooked up some scrambled eggs and yeah, I'm usually pretty handy in the kitchen to be honest, so maybe some eggs benedict.

That's good. I'm pretty useless in the kitchen, unfortunately. Often going for the takeaways or just some easy pasta. Right. Henry sounds like he's got an accent too. Do you have an accent, Henry? I might slightly have an Australian accent. That's alright, look. You're not dating Henry. Well, Vaughan swipes left on you, but...

Which way are you swiping? Swipe right. Oh!, but... Which way are you swiping? Swipe right. Oh! Okay, Henry, congratulations. You might have to come down to Christchurch if you want me to cook you some dinner, though. Oh, I'm down for that. Oh, are we swiping the other way now?

No. No, that's fine. I love travel. I love travel. Christchurch is beautiful. There we go. All right, thanks, Henry. We go now to Anthony Last for Radio Tinder.

Anthony, good morning. Morning. How are you getting on, you as well? Hello, Anthony. Michelle's George is George. Well, something that actual Tinder doesn't give you, the accents. Yeah, yeah, true and all. Whereabouts in Ireland are you from?

I'm from Dublin. I feel like her voice just changed. She's like, whereabouts am I? Hi, Anthony. Lovely to meet you. It feels like no further questionings really needed, does it? Am I already in the room right there? This feels like a super like.

Is that a thing? It is. Oh, yeah, we don't have a super like. We never thought about a super like. Do that a thing? It is. Oh, yeah, we don't have a super like. We never thought about a super like. Do you like rugby? Do you like rugby? I'd watch now Ireland play or the All Blacks, but I don't really watch Super League or anything like that.

It's okay. I can teach you. It's fine. It's fine. Don't need anything else but the accent. Well, that was very quick, Anthony. Congratulations. Who knew all you needed was an Irish accent?

Yeah. Thanks. Can you sing Oh Danny Boy? This is just for me. It's not really for her. Okay. Do you want to go for it? Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes, the cars.

From glint to glint. Oh, no, I can't. No, that was good. Oh, fantastic. Oh, brilliant. Excellent. Oh, fantastic. I'll hear the rest on our first date.

Sorry, I'll take it. It's all right. Look, I never stood a chance. I never stood a chance. All right, congratulations, Anthony, getting through there with Radio Tinder. Was that three matches? Three matches, not bad.

Oh, wild. Yeah, wild. Well, you have to let us know how you get on. Oh. Yeah. It's so much more brutal, though, on the radio. Radio date? Is that the next segment?

Is that where we go to next? Maybe, yeah. It's like Radio Bachelorette. Yeah. Especially to see Anthony, I think. We need pictures of Anthony. Anthony, send a picture through. Calm down. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, I think. We need pictures of Anthony. Anthony, send a picture through. Calm down.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is there is a Russian city that is closer to New Zealand than it is to the other side of Russia. What? That's how big Russia is. Yeah, it's massive, isn't it?

Because when you look on a map, you're like, wow, it's wide. Very wide. Very wide. Sometimes you have to give the globe a bit of a spin. Are there people on all of it? Or is there big, No, vast,

vast areas of nothingness. It's, so the Russian city, Vladivostok, is also geographically closer to Anchorage in Alaska, Darwin in Australia, and Honolulu in Hawaii, than it is to the nation's capital of Moscow. Wow.

So, yeah, those people live further away. Like, they live closer to Darwin, Australia, than they do to the capital city of Moscow. Wow. That's crazy, isn't it? Yeah. It's a really big old. What is it?

Is it the landmass of Russia's more, Like, it could wrap around Pluto, the planet? Like, if Pluto was a present... I'd love to see someone try that. If Pluto was a present, you could wrap it in Russia. Yeah, right. Yeah. Or you could just get a bag. I'm finding it easier now instead of wrapping presents

just to pop them in a bag. Yeah. You could wrap Russia around Pluto. Let me just confirm. I don't want to send anybody astray with... Well, I'd hate for someone to go all the way up to Pluto. Yeah, all the way there. And try it out and they don't have enough.

And don't have enough Russia. And they've got to put another, like, Australia to patch the gap. That would be terrible. Russian land area versus Pluto. Russia fits Pluto. Russia fits Pluto. Okay, so it does. So it could wrap around it, but it wouldn't cover the entire thing. Oh, so you would need a little bit of patch, a little bit of Australia maybe.

Maybe if you put Russia diagonally like Christmas presents. Or just wrap the top of it and put it down under the Christmas tree. And hopefully they don't pick it up and turn it over. So the dwarf's planet size is estimated at 16 million square kilometres, and Russia, in comparison, is 17 million square kilometres. Also, it would fit if we melted down Russia. But then they re-estimated Pluto's surface area, and now it's just bigger than Russia.

Oh, right, okay. Maybe put a bit of tape, put a bit of tape on it, and make sure the part of Pluto showing is not going to give away that it's just bigger than Russia. Oh, right. Okay. Maybe put a bit of tape. Yeah. And make sure the part of Pluto showing is not going to give away that it's Pluto. Yeah. You don't want to ruin that. Just a bit of blank space. Yeah. Yeah, nothing that really screams I was a planet but then they made me a

sub-planet and now I'm a dwarf planet and why are they shaming me like this? I go around the sun, don't I? Yeah. Got the dog, the dog and stuff. I don't know if I'm named after the dog or the dog's named after me, but Mickey Mouse cartoons. So today's fact of the day is that there is a city in Russia that is closer to New Zealand than the other side of Russia.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It was couch shopping because we've only ever bought one couch and it's old now. And to be fair, when we got the couch, my dog chewed it a lot because he was puppy. So we were like, hey, there's a sale. Let's treat ourselves. Okay. Went couch shopping.

Was this quite confronting? Why? For Mr. Toyboy? Because you got something that was new and now that it's just a few years old and it's been chewed on, you're getting rid of it. And he's like, well, I've been chewed on. And I'm not that old. Am I next?

Is she going to be getting a new one of this? He's been chewed on. Because I was worried that part wouldn't stick. But I'm glad that that was the one you focused on. That's the sticking point. He's been chewed on. And he doesn't squeak anymore. Punctured the squeaking. Wait, no, he's supposed to be a. He's been chewed on. And he doesn't squeak anymore. I punctured the squeaking. Wait, no, he's supposed to be a couch that's been chewed on,

not a chew-a-chew that's been chewed on. Okay, right. Good Lord. I don't know. Ask him. Okay. So we count shopping. It's really hard count shopping.

It is. It is. Did you have your measurements? You've got to have your measurements on hand. And then I'm like, how is this going to fit in with the decor? I don't know. I find it really hard to commit. You do what my wife does.

You buy a couch and if it doesn't work, you renovate the house. Because that's what people do. So we were looking at one and it happened to be leather. But it was 60% off. Oh, okay. But while my husband was really keen on it, in the back of my head, I can hear my parents, my mum especially, don't get a bloody leather couch. You can't care for it.

It's got to look worn. What happens when the dog gets on it? What happens if someone spills something on it? How are you going to protect it? It's just get a normal couch that you can clean easily. Get them to Scotchgard for the extra $200. It's worth it. And I said, like, if we get this couch,

it comes with a lot of pushback from my parents. You've got like that mental block. They don't even live in the same city as me, but every time they come and visit I'm going to hear about this couch is it worth it

and then when they come and it does have like a mark or something on it they'll be like hmm and you can never say anything about

like oh it's a lot of care or I'm going to have to do this or that to the couch because yeah you'll hear about it you're a growing adult

do what you want I know but yeah you know you're going to hear about it. It's the same as, like, every time I have a passing thought, like, oh, I could get a tattoo. My parents are in my head being like, that's forever. My mum's thing with tattoos and I hear it, I don't want a tattoo, but if you ever, yeah, see one or you think about it is, I'll take that skin back.

I'll take that skin back. I'll take that skin back. I made it. I'll have it back. That's so aggressive. She's going to skin me. She's going to skin graft you. She's going to skin me. She's not replacing it with any other skin.

She's just cutting it off. Oh, my God. Yeah, I'll have that skin back. Yeah, so, I mean, even though I'm a grown adult, I often hear them in the back of my head. Right. Like, dict I mean, even though I'm a grown adult, I often hear them in the back of my head. Right. Like, dictates my choices in life. And it's worse because when you have kids,

the voice travels out your mouth. And you catch yourself saying things that your parents said to you. Yeah. Like, shut the fridge. Don't leave the fridge door open. Even when you're like pouring milk on the bench and you're going to be back there in a minute, I still hear my parents' voice, don't leave that open.

And now I say it. Well, you're born in a tent. Yeah. Are we heating the neighbourhood? Yeah. And you can't even stop it. It bubbles up and it just goes straight out of my mouth. Well, since I've heard my parents' voice in my head a couple of times recently,

I'd like to know when your parents' voice was in your head, what decision were you making? And you could just hear them telling you. Right. Usually no. Don't do it. Just everyday things in your parents' voice will just pop up in your head. Yeah.

Telling you what to do even though you're a grown-ass adult. And maybe it's some great life advice we can all share today. Yeah. Want to know when you hear your parents' voices in the back of your head when it comes to just anything in life, really. You're doing something or you're making a life decision and you hear them saying

something to you. Alice, whose voice pops into your head? Oh, my dad used to tell me I had a bad attitude and I never really knew as a teenager what he was talking about because I thought my attitude was just fine. But now I've got a 13-year-old daughter, I'm like, oh, her attitude is so bad.

And I say, you've got such a bad attitude. Now I get it. I understand why you used to say that. And you can just hear your dad's voice every time you say that? Yeah, yeah, like I can remember exactly how he used to say it too. So it was quite funny. Do you feel this is like just desserts for your bad attitude? Yeah, and I hope she has a daughter one day

so she can understand what I'm talking about. I hope she has a daughter with a bad attitude. Yes, yeah. Don't want her to have an angel. Someone would say that's a bad attitude. Well, maybe I didn't grow out of it. True. Alice, thanks for your call.

Some text messages. Every time I go to buy jeans with any sort of rip or like purposeful wearing in them, all I can hear is, why the hell would you buy clothes with holes in them? You buy them like that, did you? How much did you pay for clothes with holes in them? Do you need me to fix those? I'm currently cash. Oh, actually, I've got some acidic gooch in the jeans crotch.

They're done. They're done. Nah. You can't fix acidic gooch. How do you keep ripping your gooch? Look, look. Oh, wow. You can't fix those.

You can't fix it. I've tried as I might. I can't. I've got to. Can you bring in your banana? Yeah. You can't because you've got to run it. I can hand stitch it for you.

You've got to run it in another bit more. I'll put a patch. I'll put a patch on the inside. You put a bit of material and then you just sew over it in zigzags. That's what I'm going to tell them to do. I'm either going to take it to the store or if you can do it. Yeah, I'll sew a patch on your pants. I don't know if I trust you because you've got a sewing machine

but you never use it. Oh, but it's easy. It's not your... No, was it your one? Yeah, it was my sewing machine that you used. Yeah, but I've used my mum's as well and one wouldn't grip from the bottom and drag the material through.

No, then that was mum's. You're supposed to pull it through slowly. No, no, no. There's the dog teeth underneath that come up. Oh, mine's got dog teeth. Yeah, they pump it through. Yeah, right. They job dig up and feed it through.

I like how we all do like, you know, one year at school doing sewing and we think we're just... Oh, I'd forgotten everything. I had to Google like how to put the thread on and where the bobbin went and all sorts of stuff. No, because these are my fave jeans. So I'm

going to take them to the store, I think. The alteration place. They do... Judge you? They do pay your ass dividends, those jeans. Thank you. Thank you. It's like you're a major shareholder and they're paying you a healthy dividend. God, ever since you got shares,

your sexy talk has been next level. It's been very financial. It has, yeah. Every time a smoker talks about being sick, all I can hear is my mum telling my sister, I can't feel sad for you if you're still smoking while you're sick. It's in the back of my head. You have to be careful because these are the ones that come in right, you can't stop them

sometimes. Whenever I go to leave the house, I can always hear my mum saying, grab another layer just in case, you never know. Smart, smart woman. If ever I fix my undies or give my bum a quick scratch, I can hear dad saying, you got worms? Every time I throw food out, I can hear my mum saying, waste not, want not. There must be something you can do with that.

There must be something you can do with that. I suppose so. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. There's always some recipient that might call for, like, really mouldy old baked beans that you forgot about. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Baked beans? Have you forgotten about it?