ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th July 2021

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

Great news for NZ Online Shoppers  Treadmill Toons  Top 6: Dogs  What did you learn from TV?  Millennials are Adventurous  Free Tim Tams!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  Guy MontgomerySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Play! The Ends Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. My five McCafe coffees get one free on the Maccas app. Are we leaving what I just said in or do I have to repeat myself? No, please. I'll just do this little set up and then you two can go to war. Fletch today mentioned in one of the breaks, off air, I'll add an ad break, that he was on the hunt for some Sheridans. Well, you know,

I love my Sheridan towels. I love your Sheridan sheets. I love my Sheridan bath sheets. Bath towels. You recently got a new bed. Yeah. You got a new Sealy post-trapedic. So I'm like,

I want to get some nice new, I want to get some nice new Sheridans sheets. So you always talk about Sheridans. I was looking up online for you, because I'm pretty good at online shopping, and only then did I realise how much these fucking sheets are. That's the thing, you've got to wait until farmers, farmers, do a half price. Even when they're half price, you bougie bitch, you're just lying on me. Megan found some, she's like, oh, these are 200 thread count.

I'm like, ah, bitch, please. I need at least 500 to 1,000. Yeah. I found you some 700. Do you know how much these cost? Ah, no. For a king set. Oh, see, we've gone to the super king.

So I'm imagining we're like, the minute you go super king, your linens, your bed wear, your budget blows out. Out of control. So that's why you've got to wait until there's like a massive sale, like a New Year's sale or a Queen's birthday. Even 50% off. There's no way I'm paying that for sheets. But then I don't want to buy some sheets and the threads start coming off. That's not what happens.

Not if there's not 1,000 of them. Are you an Egyptian cotton man? Well, I don't know what that means. Is that what 1,000 threads? Oh, my God. My Briscoe's, when I'm asleep, it's all good. My Briscoe's sheets, I don't even know what brand they are. I don't know if I'm going to trust Briscoe's sheets.

What brand are they? Sure, I bought some sheets and they arrived and I don't know what the deal is because they're still in their pack. They're in the laundry where I didn't have the pre-bed wash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like she must have lost a lot of passion for them when they turned up in the bag. They were and made them feel like a hessian sack. Oh, yeah. Are they, what, they're rough, are they? Oh are they what they're rough like are you talking about a linen sheet yeah yeah that's all the rage what what to sleep in a bloody sack a hessian sack i did that under a bp at

our kearney mardi gras one year i can tell you my friends it's not all it's cut out to be i'll tell you what the linen bedding is cheaper than the bloody sheridans i cannot believe the cost of those you're paying $500 for sheets. No, I haven't paid $500. But then you spend so much time in your bed. They say you can't spend too much money on your bed. Because it's your home base. It's a way to disagree.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. It's three minutes past six. Happy morning. Welcome to the show. Fleets, Vaughan and Megan. It's three minutes past six. Happy Wednesday.

Yay! Wednesday the 7th. Thank you. Of July. 7th of the 7th. That sounded like you didn't want to be here. I know. I just had a little bit of no. I absolutely am thriving to be here. Somebody had a late night, didn't they?

Slightly late night. We went and saw Black Widow. And the new Marvel Studios Black Widow movie. Scarlett Johansson. Florence. What? Florence Pugh. I love Florence Pugh.

Everybody was like, Florence this, Florence that. She's great. I love Scarlett too, but everyone knows Scarlett. Is she the one that's going out with Zach Braff? Yes. And everyone's like, um. Um what? Well, the age gap thing.

Oh. I wasn't saying that. I was just like... And because I saw a news story yesterday. They were hit up about it, or she was, in an interview. What did she say? She just said, I don't know. It's my life.

Leave me alone. We're happy. Florence Pierce says her relationship with Zach Braff upsets people because he's not who they expected. That's what she said to Elle magazine. 21 year age difference. He's 46. She's 25.

He was on Scrubs. And he did Garden State. What's not to love? It happens all the time. I don't understand why people are still shocked by that. It happens all the time. Yes. You've got Mr. Toyboy.

You wouldn't say people are, you would never have had anyone shocked by that, would you? By our relationship? Yeah. 100%. Especially because I'm older. That's what I mean. She's younger and he's older. So that happens all the time.

Who cares? Yeah, right. But what have people said to you? Like, what do you want to do with him? Like, we give him shit. Do they want to be walked through it? Strangers don't say anything, do they? 100%. Do they?

Yeah, not anymore. Like, we rib you and stuff and give you shit, but it's all lols. People say to his mum, like, what does she want with him? Like, excuse me, a relationship? I don't know. Just. Wow. Oh, yeah.

Hardcore sex stuff. Ruthless. That should be the response, is to see what they say. Yeah, just to get them off your back. Yeah, the boys my age now, and I'm getting into them. They have things like coronary bloody failure.

Is that my voice that you're doing? Yep. Oh, yeah. After a few packs of sexs and some burps. You've got a few dairies. Coming up on the show, it's your chance to win $2,000 cash with Fussy Cat. If you go to our Facebook page, you've got to do a little bit of research and some homework for this. Go to our Facebook page, FVMZM.

We've got a bowl of Fussy Cat kibble and a cute pussy cat. You've got to tell us how many pieces of kibble are in that bowl. It's way more than you'd imagine. Shall we say it's over? I want to give away a clue because we've got until Friday to give this away. If we get to Friday, I'm just going to open up the phone lines and we'll just plow through. We'll just plow through. We'll just keep going.

So it's between 1,600 and 1,700 pieces. Which is way more. The guess we had yesterday was like600 and 1,700 pieces. Which is way more. The guess we had yesterday was like 600 and something, right? Yeah, and the one before that was like 450. So it's a giant bowl. It's not the kind of serving size you give your cat every day. But yeah, so have a look at that picture, and then you can have a guess on the show before seven,

a chance for you to win that $2,000 cash. If you're bang on. Otherwise, we do have a Fussy Cat prize pack up for grabs. Next, fantastic news for online shopping in New Zealand. For online shoppers. I'll tell you what the update is. Maybe not good if you're a retailer. Oh, yeah.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. It's the news we didn't know we needed and then the retailers in New Zealand probably don't actually need.

Right. But Amazon, after three years of being in Australia, are going to be able to, well, Kiwis are going to be able to buy direct and get

the goods shipped direct to us. So it's obviously cheaper deliveries and quicker deliveries potentially. Yeah, because you know when you're on Amazon and you see it and you like click something, you're like, oh, that's great, it's cheap.

And then you go, I'm in New Zealand and it's like, we're not delivering there. Doesn't ship to New Zealand. Or it's $50 delivery and you're like, no, that's more than it costs. Sometimes it's $50 delivery, but sometimes it's like $4 delivery. I know, it's $50 delivery and you're like, no, that's more than it costs. But then sometimes it's $50 delivery but sometimes it's like $4 delivery. I know, it's wild.

I know, but then I don't trust the $4 delivery. I also don't know enough about Amazon. Do they like pay middleman? Is that how they roll? Because they don't have all the stock. I don't know. Just from what I've seen in America, it's just an all giant warehouses

all over the place. Right. And then they treat their workers poorly. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, it's not ideal. Yeah. Even calling them workers can be a little... Yeah.

They said, we're excited to offer Kiwis access to millions of products at great prices. We know many New Zealand customers are already shopping on the US store and we are pleased to be offering them a faster option. So yeah, we'll get there. Ah, okay.

I mean, maybe not in the current climate, super fast, but, you know, faster shipping than what you would have got. I haven't really done much since COVID, much online. I've done the odd AliExpress thing, but that always takes, you know, three months, four months, and you forget you've bought it. But that's my favourite thing about AliExpress. Yeah.

And then you're like, oh, wow. Those taco holders turned up. Anyone ever bought anything off Wish? No. Very sexually charged website. But I was just, yeah, I'm wondering if anyone has ever bought anything off Wish. There's so much targeted advertising for Wish, considering I've never bought anything off them.

Yeah, me neither. But what else have you been Googling that's kicked off there? They know. Wish, no. But have you, how have you found stuff lately coming from overseas? Well, I haven't actually been, I've been doing online shopping, but New Zealand companies. Good. Because it gets here quicker.

And the only reason I do online shopping is because I don't want to leave the house. Yeah, right. It's not as specifically I want stuff from overseas. I do it for Kiwi companies too, just then I don't have to go out. Yeah, right. Okay. I even bought a dress from a New Zealand retailer recently. I bought two sizes because I didn't know which one would fit.

Oh my God, just go to the store and try it on. Send the other one back. No, because I don't have time and I don't want to. Your carbon footprint is off the charts. It was a recyclable package that it comes in and then you put it back in the package it comes in and you send it back. Wasteful. No, but is it?

Yeah, because there's still planes and vans and trucks that need to be. It was a New Zealand company. And it was in a camera car. And if she went in her car, she would have had to have taken a car there. That's true. And if she'd gone there. And I used the packaging twice and the packaging is eco-friendly. And the mail person's like a bus for mail.

It's not just specific mail. Is that that route already? Yeah. It's like public transport for mail. Okay. Whereas if I'd driven there specifically. One car. Larger carbon footprint.

And she wouldn't have stopped there. She probably would have gone to the next mall over too for another look. See as soon as she's out. Yeah, right. Okay, so what you're saying is. And you know how she likes to sit. She does doughies at every intersection. Puts that black smoke up. them all over too for another look see as soon as they're out yeah right okay so what you're saying is and you know how she likes the set she does doughies at every

intersection puts that black smoke up famously love to do a doughy huge doughies in the Ssangyong you're from Nelson

it's believable so what you're saying is you're an eco shopper yeah an eco warrior shopper 100%

yeah slightly more on the eco side than the other option here sure alright ZDM's Fletchvorn

and Megan I need my nine year old here to give me further information on what an albino reticulated on the eco side than the other option here. Sure. All right. ZDM, Splashbone and Megan. I need my nine-year-old here to give me further information on what an albino reticulated python is. I've Googled it. Why does your nine-year-old know? Indy's, I don't know,

she started watching some woman's snake YouTube channel and now she knows all about like bull-nosed snakes and all sorts of things. Lucky you don't live. That's an albino reticulated python. Okay.

That's not bad. It's like a yellow and white one. What are those bits on the nose? The spots. Yeah, I don't know. Not teeth. I don't know. It looks like they've got eight nostrils.

Do you know it looks like a croc? Its head looks like a rock shoe. It does. You can get albino reticulated python themed crocs this summer. That'd be yellow and neat. So it's a 1.6 metre python. That's what I want you imagining. Okay.

Now, it escaped from its owner's containment vessel. I don't know if it was like a terranium or what exactly it was being stored in, a large sort of area. But because this woman on the snake videos that Indy watches, she keeps all of her snakes

in like plastic, you know those plastic storage bins you get? Yeah. And you click the lids on and you put all your old shoes and jackets and stuff in it. And then stack them

in your wardrobe or the garage. Yeah. She's just got like a wall full of those. So then they just chill out and they like hibernate in there. Right, okay. And they don't get to run around. They're caged those. So then they just chill out and they like hibernate in there. Right, okay.

And they don't get to run around. They're cage snakes. So a 1.6 metre long one of these white and yellow pythons escapes. When it is found, it is in a man's toilet just after it nipped him on the genitals. Where did this happen? In Austria. It went through the... So it must have gone up into its owner's toilet.

This is how they surmised that it escaped its owner's and slithered through the pipes of the apartment building and popped up in the toilet next door. And this man was... This 65-year-old was relieving himself sitting. Yeah. But then he's 65, so he might just sit to wee because you sit to wee.

Oh, only at night time in the dark. Well, this is just after 6 a.m. Wake yourself up. Yeah. This is just after 6 a.m. Might have been in darkness. Well, this is just after 6am. Wake yourself up. Yeah. This is just after 6am. Might have been a darkness. Yeah, maybe. He was sat and he found a nip in the genital area and he looked down and there was the

python. The python. And so it only would have been a little bit because it's so long it still would have been up the S bend and down the pipe a little bit. We have a photo. Oh, it looks like a white. Oh, Lee's just staring back at you. A white long squiggly poo with eyes. It photo. Oh, it looks like a white long squiggly poo with eyes.

It does. Oh my god. That's the worst nightmare. Yeah. So they're a python so it's more of a it's not like a venomous. It's just a bite. Why does Google does Austria have snakes? It's got heaps of snakes but none of them are venomous. Right.

And I'm assuming you're right. It blows my mind how many places have snakes but they're not venomous. They're not. It's got heaps of snakes, but none of them are venomous. Right. And I'm assuming you're right. It blows my mind how many places have snakes, but they're not venomous. They're not, there's not heaps of them, so you don't hear too much about them, because Australia just blows everywhere else out of the water. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, you forget that mainland America has snakes.

Yeah. That whole continent pretty much has snakes. Like, I always think, like, when we go, you don't go hiking, Megan, but when we go into the bush, like, you know, you go on a couple of has snakes. Like, I always think, like, when we go – oh, you don't go hiking, Megan, but when we go into the bush, like, you know, you go on a couple-a-day trip. Like, nothing's going to kill you apart from maybe, you know – Falling down a cliff. Falling down a ravine.

Your own ill preparation. But there's bugs and spiders. But there are no snakes. There are no bears. Nothing super poisonous. Yeah. And wetters. Yeah, but they're not going to kill you, are they?

No, they're not going to crawl on me. But then people go and do that Pacific Coast Trail or Pacific, what do they call it, PCR? Yeah, yeah. Like from Oregon down to Mexico. Get eaten by bears and there are coyotes and yeah, it's wild. Like in Australia. It's mad.

In New Zealand, if you want to light like a little campfire, you just go out and you pick up wood. But in Australia, you can't do that because you could pick up wood, there could be a snake underneath and it'll just be like whack and get you. Yeah, we're pretty lucky, guys. We're pretty bloody lucky. We're pretty lucky. And you're not even allowed pets of snakes in New Zealand.

No. Zoos aren't even allowed snakes. That's probably a good thing if you've got a nine-year-old that's into snakes. Yeah, very much so. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Yesterday, it was criticism on what a mum had put in the lunchbox of her child. Well, it was a pals, Megan. Zero alcohol.

Zero alcohol pals, but still a pals. So a mum in the US has been criticised. She put this on TikTok. It was her kids exercising. But the kids and the one on TikTok is 11 years old. So it's an 11-year-old boy walking on a treadmill. And she said she only lets her kids watch cartoons if they're walking on the treadmill. Christine, Christine, this is Christine.

Like your mum. Our rule was we were only allowed to watch as much TV. And this was well into high school because she was our hockey coach. And she was like, you need to be fitter. Yep. Or she was dealing with them, a little tub-tub set. Oh, my God, yeah. And had a pack of home-sold biscuits every day.

I ate the whole farm-baked bag. Yeah, farm-baked daily. Farm-baked. Polish off a milk, all the milk. But the rule was we were only allowed to watch TV for as long as we would exercise prior. That's a good rule. So you build up credit with exercise. Yeah, yeah, prior. That's a good rule. So you build up credit

with exercise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. You build up minutes. How did you do that pre-smartwatch days? No, but pre-smartwatch days you'd be like,

I just did half an hour. Well, the exercise, the only real option we had was going for a bike ride or a run. Oh, yeah. So we'd, well, my brother would sometimes

would do it properly. He'd go one way, I'd be like, well, I'm not going the same way you're going. So I'd run the other way down the country road and I'd just go around the corner and sit down under a tree. Yeah,, well, I'm not going the same way you're going. So I'd run the other way down the country road. And I'd just go around the corner and sit down under a tree.

Yeah, I was going to say, how does she know you're running? You just go down the driveway and wait. Yeah, yeah, out of sight, out of mind. I think she just wanted us out of the house, to be fair. And so I'd sit under a tree. Yeah. Get deep in my thoughts, my teenage thoughts. Yeah. And then... Your teenage angst. Head back, maybe after three quarters of an

hour. Yeah. And then say I was gone for an hour and then watch some telly. Party of five, just in time for party of five. Party of five. What was on? There was no chase back in the day. If there had been, I would have saved up all my TV watching for an hour before the news. For the chase. It didn't count once mum and dad got in from the farm.

And they would watch the news and stuff. That was three hours watching. It was prior to the news. If your mum, Christine, had had a treadmill, this would have been an absolute option. Totally. But she's not standing there watching them the whole time. Like, I can still imagine you just jump up on the sides of the treadmill

and stand there and watch. If you were really anti. Yeah, but then you're standing, you're right, and sometimes it's easier to walk than it is to stand. This is basically what I do now when I go to the gym and I do cardio. I've just got an iPad and I just watch Netflix. And then before you know it, you've done

half an hour's cardio. You've watched a show. She said one day her 11-year-old walked 25 Ks. My man! That's more than a half marathon just to watch some TV. That's not bad. No. But some people were like, you know,

your kids are going to talk about this in therapy one day. My mate Mark used to ride his Exercycle playing PlayStation and he'd tell himself that if he stopped cycling, the power would stop to the PlayStation. And he said it was like he was powering it. Yeah, yeah, like he was powering it. So he had to keep cycling to play the PlayStation. And it was just a little trick in his head to pass the time

and also do some exercise. And now he plays PlayStation sat down. Yes. Sat down, not cycling. From the hard to find ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. If you have always wanted to take your dog to a restaurant and the restaurant's like, no, and you're like,

but I'm vision impaired, and they're like, no, you're not, and you're like, damn it. Damn it. Yeah. Well, your dog can now go to a restaurant pretty much without you. This is a story, Megan, by the way. This is in West Auckland. Is it?

It's in Westgate. You can take your stupid little dog. It's in Westgate? Yeah. It's like just down the road from my Auckland. Is it? It's in Westgate. You can take your stupid little dog. It's in Westgate? Yeah. That's like just down the road from my dog. Here's the dangerous part about Westgate. You know, you've got your gentrifiers, your Megans, your stupid little dogs.

Yeah. And you've got your original West Aucklanders with huge rotties, pitties. Leo's going to rock in and be like, and this dog, and it's going to be like and be like at this dog and it's going to be like I beg your pardon sir I know it doesn't take social cues

well either I'm going to eat you now so it's a really interesting spot yeah all these townhouses popping up people have little dogs

the original West Aucklanders they preferred a big old dog so what's the idea you take your dog along and it's all the food and this dog restaurant it's all the food in this dog restaurant. It's all for the dog.

Just for dogs. You can have a coffee, but otherwise it's all for the dogs. Right. So Sam Kim is the guy that opened it. His mum flew to South Korea to get certified as a pet chef. Wow. A certified pet food chef. This food looks really good.

Like, I'd eat it. Yeah, right. But of course it's dog safe. This food looks really good. Like, I'd eat it. Yeah, right. But of course it's dog safe. There's like fried chicken. There's like, what do they call those things? I always say it wrong. I say macaroons. Macarons.

Macarons. Macarons. There's like little doggy pizzas. There's desserts. There looks to be like doggy sushi, doggy fried chicken. Yeah, I guess so. You should just be like, I have some fried chicken with my dog. It might not taste exactly like you're have some fried chicken with my dog.

It might not taste exactly like you're used to, but you totally could. Yeah. So you could get coffee, but that's the dog that gets all of the flash. And then do they have little tables and chairs? Yeah, low tables, low chairs. Oh, my God. It's supposed to look like a legit restaurant. Oh, he just had his birthday.

This would have been such a cute birthday treat. Oh, my God. You could have a birthday party. There's the birthday cakes. Oh, he just had his birthday. This would have been such a cute birthday treat. Oh my God. You can have a birthday party. There's the birthday cakes. Oh my God. You know what? Dog owners will pour here. Because listen to this.

Pour? Over here. Yeah. Don't you invite his doggy friends? Yeah. Oh. Cute.

Get in there. I'm so down. Have a birthday party. Well, I've got the top six today as the top six things dogs can do at their restaurant that we humans can't do at ours. Okay. And number six, drink out of the toilet.

Yeah. They're allowed to do it. Yeah. We're not. We'd be frowned upon if you did it. Yeah. That sucks. We'd be running the risk of some kind of camp lumbacta or giardia.

Yeah, that's true as well. Unless they had a... What if in the dog restaurant they had a specific toilet just for drinking out of? Like they're drinking vouchers in the toilet. Yeah, like, excuse me,

can I get some water? Oh, yes, sir, just over here. And they go, oh, yes, sir. Number five on the list of the top six things dogs can do at their restaurant

that we humans can't do at ours. Smell the waiter's ass. They do it. Not a problem. We do it. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the steakhouse.

And you know, fair enough. What? We're just saying hello. Number four on the list of the top six things dogs can do at their restaurant that humans can't do at ours. Eat with their mouth open and spill food out of it and then still eat that food that just came out of your mouth. Yeah.

Get that all going. And lick the bowl when they're finished. That's frowned upon in restaurants for humans. Number three on the list of the top six things dogs can do at their restaurant that we humans can't do at ours, growl at any other diners that look at your food. Yeah. I'd like to be able to do that in restaurants.

Sometimes someone will see your food arrive, and they'll walk past and give it a lingering look. And you're like... What if it's just your wife wanting a chippy? No. Sometimes when you're ordering and you see people eating next to the table, you're just like, I want that. What is it? Yeah.

Sorry, excuse me. What did you order? You have a sniff. But we can't do that to people. Number two on the list of the top six things dogs can do at their restaurant that we humans can't do at ours Lick their genitals at the table I mean lick their genitals Full stop but at the table

Definitely at the table I'd be impressed even after a few weeks of yoga If you could do that A few weeks I reckon A good six months of hardcore Yoga you might be getting close Top six things dogs can do at their restaurant that we humans can't do at ours are,

number one, eat the food too fast, vomit it up, but waste not want not, eat it again. Dogs, yeah. But do you know what we can do at our restaurant that they can't do at theirs? What? Eat chocolate.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's toxic to you. It'll kill you. Yeah. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. kill you. That's today's top six. Apparently over the time of 2020, start of 2020, when America

was predominantly affected by COVID, kind of getting back on their feet now with vaccines and such, there's been a study that showed that the average American started two home improvement projects during COVID. That doesn't say if they finished them.

No. And it doesn't say how well they went or if they ended in divorce. But it said that they talked about the top lifestyle changes over the time. And the most popular ones were moving. People moved. Okay. Some people, renovation of the place where they already lived was also massive. Yeah.

Adopting a pet was a huge... Well, yeah, I got a cat. A lot of people adopted a pet. Yeah, I got a cat. Oh, yeah. If you're going to be stuck at home. Yeah. But imagine starting your life like the dogs or the cats,

and it's just like tension, tension, tension. Then one day it's like, I've got to go back to work. Well, that's what happened. A lot of dogs suffered anxiety. Yeah, a lot of dogs because they were smothered with attention. Yeah, well, I'm going to have to tear this couch to pieces.

Buying a new car or a motorcycle and starting a home business, all very popular things to do that people did during the pandemic. Yeah, right. Which goes on, actually. You were just telling us about the new strain. Yeah, Lambda.

Lambda. So this is apparently more, it's a real downer news. I don't want to make everybody downer this morning. It's more, it's in Australia. It's more contagious than Delta. It just keeps getting more contagious. Yeah. Okay, cool.

Anyway, don't worry about it. Okay. Just living. Okay, Uncle Fletch says don't worry about it. So, the things that these people took on, the home improvements, the moving, the renovations, the starting, the thing they always wanted to do, the reason that they hadn't done it prior

was, um, no time. No time. Everyone considered themselves quite time poor. And then all of a sudden you're locked up in your house and why not do that? Yeah. Project you've always wanted to do. The second one was not knowing how to handle it.

And so that's when people had the time and they were at home. They just Googled how to do things. They YouTubed how to do things. And they kind of got underway things that they'd always done. Remodeling the bathroom or the kitchen, which sounds to me like you need a professional.

Yeah. That's the two rooms of the house where I would say lots can go wrong. I imagine how many plumbers and builders had to come and fix DIYs after like Lassie's lockdowns. Yeah, but they're busy because, you know, so many houses are being built. So the other day, my leaf blower vibrato'd itself

because it was running. Yeah. But it was sitting on wood and it vibrated across and it jumped into the pool. And I was like, fair enough, you're hot,

you've worked hard. And you could tell it needed a cool off because it went as it hit the water and when I pulled it out it was kind of steaming and such.

Absolute first world problem. Yeah. Oh, leaf blower in the pool. Oh, my leaf first world problem. Oh, a leaf blower in the pool. Oh, a leaf blower for the pool. Leaf blower in the pool is a real thorn in the side. So it got put in the garage like on an angle, so I hope all the water wouldn't leak out. I'm bad with stuff.

And people offered advice like carburetor. What does that mean? I know where that is on my Land Rover. Only because I've been shown four times. Right. It's the part where the petrol, the air filter. Yeah, okay. It's in there somewhere.

Yeah, it's in there. Okay. It's a petroly thing. Okay. Anyway, so I've been watching this new show called Big Timber and Big Timber is about logging in Canada and this guy buys... There are so many shows

on all the streaming platforms and you watch a show about old mates logging? I'm a sucker for like one of those reality, like I loved Gold Rush, Deadliest Catch, like those reality shows where the producers were happily. You love a gruff old man.

You love a dirty old gruff mate. I love a gruff old man in wet weather gear that's also high-vis. Yeah. With a helmet and built-in earmuffs. Yeah, and whose life's in perilous danger at any moment. All the time. Thanks to quick camera pans and effects added post. There's like babes in bikinis on like Too Hot to Handle and stuff, eh?

I'm not watching that at the gym. Someone will walk past the treadmill and be like, what's he? It's disgusting. But now they walk past and I'm watching a big truck and a big digger doing things. Anyway, Kevin found himself in a bit of a pickle because his barge sunk. This is so sexy. And on his barge, there was

a water pump because the barge had been leaking, so he'd been pumping water out of the barge. Yeah, right. Anyway, he had to fix the pump. And so he was in the same predicament I was in. His engine had been submerged. Right.

So you could relate to Kev. So he's like, get the bloody air filter off. I'm like, okay, air filter. I've got to find the air filter. And then he's like, get rid of all the petrol. That's buggered. Get rid of the fuel. That's buggered.

Water's got in it. It's no good. So you've got to get rid of all that. Empty the tank. Take the spark plug out. And then what else did he do? And then he just, Paul started a whole lot of times and all

the yuck water and stuff was like out of the hole. I like when you're CPRing someone when they've been in the water and they go in the ocean and they're like that's like That was your leaf blower, it sprung to life. Dry the spark plug, put that back in, bang

put that back in, fresh tank of petrol and then what else did I do? Dried the air thing, put that back in. Yeah. Bang, put that back in. Fresh tank of petrol. Yeah. And then, what else did I do? Dried the air thing, put that back on and then I keved it

and I was just like, brr, brr, brr. And then it went, brr, brr, brr,

brr. And I was like, oh. Brr. And it started and I was like, it lives. And I carried it inside

and I said, Sade, brr, brr, brr, brr, and she's like, get that thing outside. It's blowing black smoke all in the house.

Was she not excited that you fixed it? She was like, how'd you do that? And I explained, she was like, I'm sick of hearing about that show because I've been talking a lot

about like buying some secondhand equipment and just getting into a bit of logging. This is another thing I do. When I watch the Gold Rush show Rush I was just going to be like oh that's it I'm moving to Alaska

was that the desired response from Sharts did you just expect to be like suddenly I'm keen take it out oh no she wasn't like aroused

I would have thought she would have been I would have thought she would have been like just straight just put that leaf blower down and ravage me you sexy man.

It didn't happen though, did it? It didn't happen. But it was a, I learned from a TV show. I learned how to fix something. And that's the last thing we could talk about this morning. Not necessarily fixing something, but maybe a problem solved. A life lesson. Yeah, a life lesson that you learned from a TV show.

How to do something. Oh, I'm just trying to think if I've had any pearls of wisdom from a TV show. Well, but would you know, because you've been watching a lot of that SWAT show. Yeah. Would you know how to like breach an entry, for example? I would 100% be able to breach an entry. Like if you had to use a battering ram, do you know what part of the door to hit with the battering ram? Oh, I don't know, but they use.

Where the lock is, isn't it? Okay, so I did a bit of Googling about the show SWAT, and when they breach a door, they put these coloured things on, and they flash lights, and then they explode and the door opens. Now I'd put them on the hinges. No, so I found out that you can actually buy those on, like, AliExpress. They're just light machines.

They're not actually explosive devices. But a real SWAT team would put them on the hinges. Maybe, yeah, just where the hinges and the door and the lock is. put them on the hinges. Maybe, yeah, just where the hinges and the door and the lockers. Cool. Yeah.

Cool, man. But they still explode the door, but I was just, yeah, I was... But the light machines you buy on AliExpress don't explode. No.

They just got lights in them. They're just like, it's just a colourful light machine. Oh. And I was like, oh my God, I'd be lying to you. They use them pretty much

every episode. I'm like, I thought they were a thing and they're not. But yeah, so I haven't learnt that much from that show, to be honest. What about like cocktails? For shows? Like how to make a cocktail from a show.

Or maybe. It's just thinking about things. Yeah. About things that are on shows. Or like learn about a meth business because of Breaking Bad. Yeah. Or how to launder money through a car wash? That taught me what laundering money was, Breaking

Bad, because I didn't know what that meant. Were you like me? You just kind of thought it meant cleaning it to make it look new? Yeah. Forever, right? They iron it. Clean it, iron it, and then it looks like new money. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably just because we were brought up with mum saying, don't put that 50 cent coin in your mouth.

It's been other places. It's filthy. All right, so 0800.ZM. We want to take some calls now, and you can text her as well, 9696. What did you learn off a TV show? Anything you've learned from that beautiful screen. We want to know this morning what you've learned from television. I learned how to get a motor going again

that had been submerged in water. From a TV show. From my friend, Kevin on Big Timber. Wow, you really... He buys, he won't spend money on new equipment. He only buys old secondhand equipment and then his stoner son fixes it up. His stoner son.

He's definitely a stoner. Is he useless? The son, Eric. You're really selling this show. Where did you find this show? Jared, tell me about it. Producer Jared. It's a History Channel show.

It's one of those ones where literally they had to pack up their equipment because a thunderstorm was coming in. And then they were like, oh, did you hear that? And then literally you could tell the sound effect had been added afterwards. It was like, boom. They're like, that's thunder in the distance. And then all of a sudden they added like a flash.

So literally in five seconds, the thunder went from being ages away to the lightning being right on them. And they're like, we gotta go! I was just like, okay, we don't need to be that dramatic. Just calm down and show me another digger. So it doesn't always need to be how to fix something. No.

Maybe it was a pearl of wisdom. And we are getting messages in, like even some old TV shows when, you know, you're a kid and it's stuck with you. Yeah. Life lessons. Pearl of wisdom. Alana, what did you learn from a TV show? So, I learned how to say medical conditions off Grey's Anatomy for my job.

Oh, really? What's your job? I've just started with an insurance company. Oh, so you have to deal with all the medical terms. Yeah. And you're like, I know what that is because I watch Grey's Anatomy. Season 3, episode 18. I think medical shows told me, what is it, intubating?

Is that where they put the tube in? Yeah. Yeah, a lot of like cardio ones I've like figured out from it. Yeah, I know what tachycardia was from Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, they're like precisely that, honestly. Like I think the other one was ischemic and cardiovascular. Oh, yeah. Like the real, real long ones.

You know, I've heard that. Grey's Anatomy. It's just dramatic, but they use real medical terms. Yeah, it's unrealistic, though. There's not that much hooking up in hospitals. It's not that much hooking up in hospitals. It's unrealistic. There might be. No, there is. That's why that much hooking up in hospitals. It's unrealistic. There might be.

No, there is. That's why it always smells of disinfectant. Is that right? Alana, thanks. You called some messages in. Watching ER, I learned how to dislodge

a bead from a three-year-old daughter's nose. You block the other nostril and then you blow in their mouth. Who did that? George Clooney? Probably.

Or Anthony Edwards. Or Noah Weil. Who else got a name? George Clooney? Probably. Or Anthony Edwards. Or Noah Weil. Who else can I name? Juliana Margo Ali. Oh my God. Noah Wiley. I did such a crush on him. He was the hot young doctor.

Yeah. It was something for everybody on that show. So wait, when you blow in their mouth, do they go out their nose? Well, no. You blow in your mouth. You just go. Yeah. Blow in your mouth.

And because this is right, because if you blow in and it's unexpected something shuts off here so I guess it just forces it out the nose they said the first time I did that the bead fired with such ferocity

across the room the kids had to go look for it so we could confirm it was the one I saw her put up there oh my god yeah

I learnt from the TV show four house held dads this is supposed to be loving and supportive ha ha ha sorry dad sounds like it was you an apology show for house held dads. This is supposed to be loving and supportive. Ha ha ha. Sorry dad. Sounds like it has you in apology. Few Grey's Anatomy

ones. Someone said I can't remember what TV show or movie it was but I learnt the signs of your partner cheating on you. Those signs were in my life at the time and it turns out I was indeed being cheated on. Wow. What's the movie? He's just not that into yet?

It sounds like it, right? I learned how to properly reverse a car from the TV show Mythbusters. How did they? What did they? I don't know. Is it not the arm over the passenger? That's what I don't know. That's so hot. It's a good move, eh?

Years of watching Bear Grylls meant we were sorted for survival after the earthquakes in Christchurch where the composting toilets set up while we had no running water because we'd known how beer had done it on so many of his shows. They better not have

boiled their wheeze. No, you wouldn't drink wheeze straight from their sauce. You don't want to boil it. It loses its... You don't need to purify that. It loses its flavour. We've got some responses

on Instagram as well. I learnt from the Big Bang Theory that bread goes stale faster in the fridge What? I thought it would have gone stale slower because there's less air flow in the fridge

Maybe I'm wrong I didn't know that I don't have bread long enough to have it on the bench or in the fridge I just put it in the freezer straight away And go slice for slice I remember as a kid Susie Cato taught me to tie my shoelaces

after months of my parents trying and failing. That's why she's a national treasure. Yeah. I learned from Friends, the TV show Friends, that babies come out of the vagina. I was 12 years old. I always thought they had come straight out of the bum.

Wow. That's fair enough. That's a fair enough area. You don't know at that age, do you? They come from somewhere. Somewhere down there. Just's fair enough. That's fair enough. It's that area. You don't know at that age, do you? They come from somewhere. Somewhere down there. Just pumping out babies. ZM's Fleetwarner Megan.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers, going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz

slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. I was just wondering, I was going to say, conspiracy theories have really found their own lately, haven't they? And I think social media and stuff has connected a whole bunch of conspiracy theorists who then get in this echo chamber and tell each other they're right. And oh my God, that's a good point.

I hadn't noticed Jeff Bezos had a lizard tongue either until now. And then it just kind of goes on and goes out of control and it gets, you know, crazy. Before the internet, you just had to run into one of these people. Good work holding back there. I was just trying to think of, like, older conspiracy theories. Oh, like moon landing? Yeah.

The moon landing would probably be a famous one. Right. Yeah, yeah, good call. People believe and continue to believe that that never happened and it was all faked in a film studio, right? Yeah. The Illuminati, I suppose, that's another one. Oh, okay.

I was into the Illuminati. What? No, like as in I was like, whoa, conspiracy. Look at her. Because Beyonce, she's got one. She's a shapeshifter and she's Illuminati. And then like every time a pop artist did something with one eye, you're like, whoa, Illuminati.

Yeah. So I've just actually found a Wikipedia page of conspiracy theories. They fall into the different categories. Aviation, which includes chemtrails. Business and industry, I don't know about that. Deaths and disappearances, like Elvis isn't dead. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that was another big one.

Avril Lavigne's got a double. That's one. Avril Lavigne's got a... You kind of forget about all of these until you... That's right, Avril Lavigne's got a double. Yeah. Avril died. And Paul McCartney from The Beatles. Remember, he died because he was the only one in bare feet crossing that road and Abbey Road on the thing. And then there's like economics and society.

That's got the New World Order, all of these things. Then there's a whole lot of ethnicity, race and religion ones. UFOs, of course, that's another big one. But it was all shits and gigs and it was all funny until COVID and now people's lives are in danger because people are burning down 5G towers and they don't want to get vaccinated and it's all out of control with the internet. Yeah, that's wild. So there's been new research published in the Applied Cognitive Psychology.

They run articles in psychology, as you may have picked up from the last word in their title there. And they've looked into what makes people more likely to believe conspiracy theories. Now, at this stage is probably when conspiracy theory people will say, Well, that's what they want you to believe. Bingo. It's the ultimate comeback for any conspiracy theorist. And what they found was that there's evidence supporting that people who are with greater critical thinking skills are less likely to believe in conspiracy theories.

Because if you're a critical thinker, well, you think it through, don't you? Yes. And you think that's ridiculous. Yeah. There's no way to do it. But apparently they lack that critical thinking and think instead with like passion. And especially if they're told by somebody

who tells it passionately, they are more sold on the passion than the facts. And then the facts are just like fall into place as and when they need to make something up. It's like when reporters go to Trump rallies and they drill the Trump supporters on actual facts and they don't have any. They're just so completely...

But there's no moment of realisation when they get asked for facts and they realise they don't have any. There's still no moment of realisation like huh, you know, maybe this isn't right. That doesn't happen either. It does every now and then. That's still no moment of realisation like, huh, you know, maybe this isn't right. That doesn't happen either. But it does every now and then. That's the other thing over the course of COVID when everybody became worried about these sorts of hot spots for meeting

online. There was the odd person that came out and said, I was wrong and I was deep in this and this is why it's dangerous and this is how people get caught up in it. And those people were like really important to, especially if you've got, I don't have, I was raised by people who were far too cynical.

Same. I think we all were. Shut up and stop being so stupid. The amount of times I've heard that in my life. To this day. Oh, stop being so stupid. Don't be so bloody stupid. So basically to paraphrase dumb people.

People that don't have critical thinking. Also what they've written in this article isn't going to help. Yeah. Because it just makes the people burrow in deeper. Right. Yeah. So how should you approach these people? You're not a critical thinker. Yeah, it doesn't quite get into that deep enough on how to.

But again, the whole thing is you don't attack, right? If you've got friends. Yeah. But you don't attack them. Yeah, but that's hard, isn't it? And you don't abandon them. It's harder with your family. Take a deep breath and...

What do you try to gently persuade them? I like the tools. I like the patience. Yeah. Yeah, I just like the caring. But we don't lack the critical patience. Yeah. Yeah, I just like the caring. All right, the latest. But we don't like the critical thinking. No.

Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Millennials are adventurous when it comes to cooking, when it comes to being in the kitchen. Okay. They apparently are the most adventurous, but they know the least about what they're actually doing. Is it because we were all brought up on bland vegetables? No offence, mum.

I honestly think I'm boiling all the veggies. Yeah, boiling veggies until they were mush. No offence, mum. But the generation before us, maybe it was different in big centres, but Thai food, hadn't heard of it.

Mexican food, my parents still will not have eaten Mexican. I remember guarantee they have never had a like taco. I've had nachos. They love nachos. Did you make tacos when you were young? Like white people tacos. But it was probably like. What a folded sandwich.

Just like bland mints in a shell. No. You didn't? No. Never. We had that at least. I remember making sushi at school and thinking, this is crazy. And then because sushi shops didn't really explode in New Zealand

until what, like 2000s? Yeah. And then it became a thing. It's come a long way. There was no exciting. There might have been like a Chinese takeaway. Oh, yeah. There was always a Chinese.

There was always just sweet and sour pork. Yeah. Oh, yum. That was all New Zealand could do. And lemon chicken. I can love a lemon chicken. Yeah. Oh, yum. That was all New Zealand could do. And lemon chicken. I can love a lemon chicken. Yeah. You're such a basic person.

People weren't going yum cha as much as now. You go into yum cha now and there's so many white people in there. And you're like, you're one of those white people. I know I am. But even when we first started going with Shadow's Dad, first took me to yum cha. Yeah. Like not too long after we kind of got together, I was just like, this is wild. They push a trolley around and I can be like that, that, that, that, that.

Write a little thing on the ticket and then we pay with the ticket. Wild. What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that?

What's that? So I can see that this is for a lot of people, especially rural people who move to, because what is it? It's still like what, one in half of Aucklanders weren't born in Auckland? Yeah. That's some phenomenal amount.

So, so many people are moving from areas that wouldn't have had a huge cuisine choice to like this melting pot of cuisine. Yeah. I can see why it's the most,

you know, adventurous. Yeah. So, yeah, most adventurous, but they also don't know what they're doing. And then they're also the people who will dine out the most. I was going to say, so they're most adventurous, but they don't know what they're doing.

So that immediately says to me, they're eating at lots of different restaurants. Yeah. I could do that. But they're not cooking at home. No. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

But baby boomers are the least adventurous. That's our parents, right? Yeah. See, that's like your mum with spice, isn't it? Oh, my God. Too much white pepper is too spicy for you. White pepper too, not even like a good cracked pepper. It's that white powder.

Even a sweet chilli sauce would be pretty booze. Absolutely not. My mum had a lemon aioli and thought it was spicy. I was like, no, that's lemon. That's also, I think, because they haven't tasted a huge array of things, they just assume everything's spicy. Yeah. Like tangy, like something that's really tangy.

My mum has been like, like lemon ale. Oh, spicy. It's not spicy, mum. It's tangy. Shocking. Shocking. Wow. So reluctant to try anything, but then tries it and likes it.

Yeah. I cooked them. Some chicken salt was still juicy and moist. Oh, no. They'll freak out. They'll go get your hand back. Yeah. I don't think it was cooked enough. Yeah. I cooked them. Some chicken so it was still juicy and moist. Oh, no, they'll freak out. They'll think I'm getting hamplebacter. Yeah. I don't think it was cooked enough. Yeah.

I'm like, no, that's what chicken's supposed to be like. It's like when I've smoked chicken before and then they open it and they're like, Vaughan, this is pink. I'm like, no, it's smoked. It's smoked chicken. It's been to the right temperature. Trust me.

Oh, I don't know about this. I like my chicken whiter than I am. CDM's Flet the right temperature, trust me. Oh, I don't know about this. I like my chicken whiter than I am. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Well, we can now reveal the person that fell victim to a crime last night and became a statistic of crime is producer Jared and his trusty

red Toyota Vitz. The little Vitz. The little, oh, your mic's not on. You've fallen victim to another victim of crime. Crime did not turn on the button. Yeah, Valentine the Vitz. The Little, oh, your mic's not on. You've fallen victim to another victim of crime. Crime did not turn on the button. Yeah, Valentine the Vitz copped some flack last night. When did you name your Vitz Valentine? When I got her, because I got her on Valentine's Day.

And she's red. And she's red, yeah. Like a little love heart with wheels. Yeah, someone smashed in the window and reached in and grabbed me. Rainy night last night, eh? I didn't know, but robbers like rainy nights. Windy nights are their favourite because they don't get wet. I always think, oh, it's raining, no crime tonight.

No, no, no, big crime. No, and that's why. That's the weird thing, I always think criminals don't like rain. No, because you are putting yourself in the position of the criminal. You're like, well, I want to get wet breaking into cars. I want to ruin my hair.

But rain and storms mask alarms and window smashing. Oh my God, this goes against everything I've always believed. And criminals aren't made of candy floss.

So they can withstand drizzle. That's such a trigger for me because of the AMP show and it was raining and I lost a whole bag. Oh yeah. Where did it go? It like melted.

It melted. Yeah. Poodles. And the thing is it wouldn't take much water once it's inside that bag. No I know. Mum and Dad wouldn't buy me another one. Well as they should and they've got to teach you a life lesson. Has it happened again? No. Exactly. I don't eat candy floss in the rain now. Huh. Take that parents. You've learnt.

So Valentine the Vitz smashed driver's side window too. Yeah. So do you park on the street? Yeah, so my flat doesn't have a driveway because we're in a granny flat, so we have to park either on the street or there's like a little bay at the end of the cul-de-sac. So I was lucky enough to get a bay yesterday.

He even sounds sad, doesn't he? He sounds sad. He sounds sad. It's a rough time because I'm moving flats shortly. Well, at least now the long things can hang out the window. Yep. True. Yep, that'll do it.

You can always wind down the window. Always with the silver linings. No, because some cars' windows don't wind down far enough. Yeah. Look, I'm a silver linings guy. You know me. They always say that. Born endlessly positive.

Silver linings. Yes, that's how we all describe you. So did they smash the driver's side window? Yep. You sent a photo to the group chat this morning. Did they try to get the car started? Like, did they wreck the ignition? No, I'm a bit offended because they didn't even attempt to, like,

jimmy the ignition thing. They just saw it was a Wurzmuller. Like, nah, you can keep it. Oh, no. So your car's, what was stolen my wallet and um then i checked checked the old bank and they spent all my money um oh my god at a gas station this is cool though because now you get the security footage wait today okay so firstly you left your wallet in the car yeah i've already been told off for that

because that was my initial reply. Do you want to leave your wallet in the car, you silly billy? Do you always leave your wallet? My husband does that. Don't worry, Jared. You're not the only one. Well, it's a South African thing.

Have you been lured into a false sense of security that you're in New Zealand now? You literally will roll through red lights in South Africa because you don't want to be carjacked, but you'll get to New Zealand and leave your wallet in plain sight in the car. Yeah, look, I don't often, like sometimes I'll leave it in there just because it's too far to reach.

It's too far to reach. So, okay, so they nick your wallet this morning. At what time was the purchase at the servo? My bank didn't go into that much detail, so I've got to call them and then talk to them And did they just pay wave it? Yeah, I think so. Oh, so I've got to call them and then talk to them about that. And did they just pay-wave it? Yeah, I think so. Oh, that means they had to go in. Footage, footage.

I can't wait. Service stations have footage of everything. I mean, the car might have been stolen that they were filling up. Yeah. Yeah, but their face is going to be... Get their big, dumb face on it. Get their big, dumb, ugly criminal face on it. Yeah.

Yeah, it's good. It's been a good day. Oh, that sucks. To make matters worse, because I didn't have my wallet. Yeah, it's good. It's been a good day. Oh, that sucks. To make matters worse, because I didn't have my wallet, so I couldn't grab my daily Red Bull. Oh. No wonder you sound down.

Is there some in that vending machine out there? No, this is where I'm headed. So we had to sign an NDA a couple weeks ago, and they gave us $2 each for some reason. Oh, yeah. So I went into that producer fund and took $4 out. The producer kitty. The producer kitty, yeah.

Got $4 out, put it in the machine, pushed my buttons, and it was like... Yum, those coins are nice. And it didn't give it to you? No. Did you shake it? Did you shake it out there? Yeah, I shaked it.

You still burned the shit out of it. Oh, my God, Jared, I'm so sorry. You're having the worst day ever. Yeah. I'll buy you a Red Bull. I've got one now. Okay. Do you have a pie?

No, I couldn't get a pie. I had an old muesli bar at the bar. Vaughn will go buy you a breakfast. He'll go buy you a full breakfast. A full breakfast. I love how Fletch is like, Vaughn will go buy you a full breakfast. He will. He's very generous in giving us our Vaughn.

A full breakfast. So thoughtful. So thoughtful. Wait, did you say Vaughn? Yeah. No, sir. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Do Briscoe's sell Sheridan?

S-H-E-R-I-D-A-N? D-E-N? D-E-N? D-E-N I know farmers do Yeah, I can't see it under the initial briscoes Yeah, I don't think they do Do you know how I got onto this train of thought? The briscoes lady is Tammy

Yes That's her real name And today is World Chocolate Day Yes We did an ad before We voiced an ad before the show Yeah Today about World Chocolate Day.

And Arnott, who do Tim Tams, are doing a special deal. Now, if your name starts with Tim or Tam. Tamara. Tamron. Tam Zaya. Tammy. Tam Zaya. Don't judge someone's name.

I've never heard the name. I was going with, you know, names that you hear. Tamarind. Tamarind. Tamarind. that you hear. Tamarind. Tamarind. Tamarind. Tamarind. Tamarind. Now apart from Timothy or Tim Tamara? I don't know any other. Timone.

Timone. He's a meerkat. He shouldn't be eating that. So if your name starts with a Tim or a Tam, you register. And we've got the link at ZM online. It's the first thousand people on World Chocolate Day that do this. You win some packs of Tim Tams.

Now, I've found a little loophole. I don't know if I should be encouraging this, but I said my name was Tammy Fletcher, and they let me fill it out. So I said my name was Timothee Chalamet. So Hollywood actress Timotée Chalamet. So Hollywood actress, Timothée Chalamet. At any stage of the registration, ask for any ID. So I'm like, I've got away with this. I think they're going on board.

They have, apart from Tim's, like I'm looking at male's names that start with T-I-M. There's Tim. Tim-ath-hat. So that's Timothy with an A instead of an O. And Timber. I've never heard a boy called Timber. No. But then an A Instead of an A And Timber Never heard a boy Called Timber No

But then there's Timbo Timberland But Timbo Would just be Tim's nickname What about last names Like Timberlake

Yeah maybe No Any Kiwi with a first name Starting with Tim or Tam Yeah So I'm fine Because I'm a Tammy And you know what

When my Tim Tams arrived, my three packets. Tammy, Vaughn and Megan. You're not getting any. Yeah, today I will be called Tammy. Tammy, Vaughn and Megan. But it got me to thinking. Yeah. And I was like, woe is me.

Yeah, like what do I get? I'm a white middle class male, so it's always woe is me. Oh, I'm left out. What about me? I was thinking, I can't, there's no brand. And then I thought, there is. I always get sent this. They're like, you should buy this hammer.

There's a hardware brand called Vaughn. Is there? Yeah. Do they sell it in New Zealand? American hardware brand. Yeah, they do. Vaughn Hammers. Yeah, there's a Vaughn Crowbar.

Oh, yeah. That looks like a good, oh, no, Placemakers. Yeah. Mitre 10. Yeah, they do. Vaughan Hammers. Yeah, there's a Vaughan crowbar. Oh, yeah, that looks like a good... Oh, no, Placemakers. Yeah. Mitre 10. Yeah, they've got them. Yeah, yeah, I've seen them. Vaughan, that looks like a good... Why don't you have one of these?

I should have one. You should have one of these. And it's spelt the right way because it's A-N, not that mongrel, just N. $84. But yeah, if they did a promo on World Hammer Day... For free Vaughans. For free Vaughans. You would be in. Yeah. But free vans. You would be in.

Yeah. But you're not. I'd be in full of hammers. Yeah. I'd be in. Megan, is there a brand called Megan? I'm just looking. Does there have to be a brand?

Because there's a brand that does a boot called a Megan boot. No, it needs to be the brand. It needs to be a brand, yeah. No, there's nothing. I'd be getting a free construction crane from Fletcher's. No, because it's first names only in this situation. Otherwise, if it's Smith, I'll have a crane as well because I always said cranes with Smith written on them.

Do you know once you... Smith glass, I could put my foot through my windscreen and be like, free windscreen, please. Yeah, we were walking past the convention centre a year ago and there was a Smith crane and a Fletcher crane and we were like, huh, that's us. Cute. It was a Smith crane that was being contracted

out by Fletcher yeah it was a cute moment it really was because there was a real argument on who owned the crane and I said well I own the crane I'm contracting to you

you're leasing but it's definitely the Smith crane right so you're on the back of this this morning wanting to try

a little experiment yeah if you were entitled to free stuff from a brand that had the same name as you, what free stuff could you get? What free stuff?

Okay. Do you do first and last names as well? Yeah, yeah. Why not? Because then I can have a construction crane. And Megan can have a Papadopoulos whatever. Oh, biscuits. Papadopoulos biscuits in Greece.

We're like biscuit magnets over there. There are not. Yes, there is. It's massive. It's massive. We're like biscuit magnets over there. There are not papadopoulos. Yes, there is. It's massive. It's massive. It's like Arnott's. It's too long a name to be an effective brand. When we went over there, we were like, oh, this is our family.

And they were like, wow, you guys must be rich. Oh, my God, it is. So you're like the Griffins and the Arnott's in Greece. I'm a biscuit magnate. Bow down, bitches. Yeah, that's why people say, you must be related to Fletcher Construction. I'm a biscuit magnate. Bow down, bitches. Yeah, that's why people say, you must be related to Fletcher Construction. I was like, no, I wish.

Yeah, no, there's hundreds of Fletchers. There's hundreds, yeah. Very, very popular name. Okay, all right. So a little experiment this morning. 0800 dials at M. You can give us a call. Text in 9696.

If your name entitled you to free stuff with the brand that shared your name, what free stuff would you be getting today? All right, give us a call. If your name entitled you to free stuff only of the brand that shared your name, what would you be getting free? Because Tim Tams have said if your name's Tim or Tam, you can get some cookies. It's World Chocolate Day today, so happy World Chocolate Day.

Indulge in that. Because we've got a link on the ZM website We're obviously doing something with this First thousand people who register So I mean it could be gone by now Because New Zealanders love free stuff And chocolate and biscuits And Timmy Tams

So yeah if your name's Tim or Tam Or any of that combination You're entitled to these free bickies, if your name's Tim or Tam or any of that combination, you're entitled to these free bickies. So if your name, if you share your name with something famous, a brand, what would it be? I don't know why we thought we'd do this. Just thought it'd be funny. It's fun.

That's why. My name's Craig. I guess that means I get all the jams. Yes. Oh, Craig's jam. Somebody else messaged in saying, my name is Zara. Does that entitle me to an entire wardrobe? Oh, yeah.

Do you reckon if you went into Zara, you'd be like, my name's Zara. They'd be like, cool. That's pretty much how that would go, I reckon. Pretty much is. Chanel, good morning. Hi, how are you? Oh, Chanel number five. You're getting some hand Handbags and shoes and...

And puffers. Clothes and everything. I could have a wardrobe. Are you spelt the same? No, I'm not. I've got an extra L and an E on the end, but most people just spell it... Well, then you get nothing! Chanel-y?

I guess so. But then in saying that, of people Sell their rolly anyway So Oh yeah You can have the One that someone Picked up at the Thailand markets

Chanel number four Chanel It's nearly Chanel Number five It's very close Not quite Thanks you call Chanel Anna

This is your son Yeah I have a son Called Hunter So he gets those Awesome gumboots Oh the those awesome gumboots. Oh, the posh gumboots with the bundles on the side. They're the posh ones that all the celebs wear to Glastonbury and festivals.

Yeah, so I'll just put my size down instead of his. Yeah, good. I mean, they're not doing this, so I should probably point out that it's only Tim Tams that are doing this today. There will be a sweet spot where your son's feet are the same size as yours? Yeah, sadly, that's really soon. He's only seven and I have tiny feet. So it could be on the way.

He's got big flippers. Will you get rid of the place? That's right. We've made this whole thing up. This isn't happening. In my mind, I'm like, get ready to contact them then. Amy, A-M-I. Hi.

Yeah. It's spelled like the insurance company. It's spelled exactly like the insurance company. It is, and do you know what makes it even better? I was actually conceived when my mother worked at AMI Insurance. So is that why you're named AMI Insurance? No, it goes back further than that. My mum was actually named Amy, AMI, when she was born, but it was changed when she was about three days old.

She turned on to it, and here I am. What did they change your mum's name to? Tower. State. No. I miss what they actually called your mum. They named her Lee, L-E-E. Lee. Alright. Lee Jeans. Yeah. There you go. Sort of great for mum too. Brilliant. Amy, A-E-E Lee Lee Jeans Yeah

There you go Sort of great for mum too Brilliant Amy A-M-I Thanks for your call Lizzie That's my favourite joke

Of the week so far A cheap A cheap pun on Insurance Loved it It's good Thin Lizzie Would it be Thin Lizzie

Hey there How are you guys Good That's the only thing I can think of Thin Lizzie I'm also afraid They would need to change it To Thin Lizzy? Hey there, how are you guys? Good. That's the only thing I can think of. Thin Lizzy. I'm not afraid they would need to change it to Curvy Lizzy because I'm definitely not thin. It's free makeup.

Why is it called Thin Lizzy? I don't know. Is it because it goes on thin? Or maybe. I make sure it goes on thick. Roll her out. Brilliant. Lizzy, thanks.

You called some text messages And if your name Is the same as a brand What free stuff Would you get Some text messages In Victoria So when I lived

In the States Everyone would joke If I had any secrets Oh yeah okay Or the staff Would always find it funny When I'd shop there It was so weird

But now I guess That would pay off If they were doing The free stuff For the same people Yeah My name's Tiffany My partner's name's Phillip So I guess that would pay off if they were doing the free stuff for the same people. Yeah. My name's Tiffany.

My partner's name's Phillip. So I guess he'll take care of the TVs. I'll take care of the jewelry. Yep. Good. Desiree. My name's Desiree. So that means I would get- Potatoes.

Potatoes. Yes, they said. Desiree Potatoes. Oh, okay. Desiree Biscuits. okay. Desiree biscuits. I've never heard of those biscuits. Okay. I'm Abby.

There's an Abby effluent tank, so I guess I would be entitled to something to take away. That was definitely a guy naming that after an ex-wife or something, eh? Yeah. What am I calling this effluent tank I've made? What am I going to call this big round thing that's full of shit? Abby. Someone said, my name is Sarah Lee,

so I guess cheesecakes are on me. Oh, yes. Yes. Tuscany. Oh, that's a nice name. Tuscany. So I guess you're entitled to the seasoning.

Yeah. As a star, the Tuscan seasoning, but also apparently free fridges and washing machines. I have no idea that brand, but you get in there and get it. Sheridan.

Someone messaged in called Sheridan. Towels and sheets. Bit pricier as well. If they get a discount, let me know. You know I love my Sheridans. My surname is Wiltshire. Does that entitle me to the name? Oh, cutlery.

Cutlery. I've got some Wiltshire knives. Not bad. Not bad. So many people. And someone said, I spend so much time thinking about this sort of thing. Us bad, not bad. So many people. And someone said, I spend so much time thinking about this sort of thing. Us too, it turns out.

Same, same. We were like, we should do this. I don't know why, but it'd just be stupid. I just think, you know, as soon as there's a big brand name and that's what you want to name your kids, you don't do that anymore. My surname's McKenna, so do I get bourbon?

Yes, you do. Oh, yeah, go for it. If this fictitious thing we invented happens, yes, yes, you do. Yeah, if you're messaging in, McDonald's my last name. Yes, cheeseburgers are on me. I've got a 502 bad gateway

for the free Tim Tams. So I think we might have crashed it. I don't know what a 502 bad gateway is. I think we might have crashed it. I don't know what a 502, bad gateway. I know a 404. Jared's frantically Googling what a 502, bad gateway is. Jared, what's a 502, bad gateway? It's a 502, 504.

Yeah, it's a 502. Oh, no, we're back, we're back. I refreshed. Oh, we're back, we're back. We're back, we're back. So they've fixed the 502. Scroll down, they might have pulled the pin. No, it's still there.

Yeah, it's still there. Give them their Tims and Tams. It's a thousand. Okay. Well, 999 because Tammy's getting some. And also, I feel like we've given Tim and Tam like heaps of head... We give them a head start. Now I go in.

As what's your name? Tim Vaughan Smith. Tim Vaughan Smith. Hyphenated? Or is Vaughan your middle name? No, Tim. Or is it his born-year-old middle name? No, Tim Ford. So is it Timmy and Megan today? Tim and Megan.

Timmy, Tim and Megan. Yeah. Okay, cool. We sound like an Australian right now, Sean. We do. Tim, Tammy and Tazeroo. ZDM, Splash, Ron and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is a little bit of a serious one. Oh, okay. But like a really interesting fact. I happen to stumble across an article called Eight Ways to Prevent Alzheimer's Wandering. Oh, God. Is this when I get real old and forgetful and I'll just wander into a forest? Super dangerous.

Okay. Because I personally haven't dealt with anybody who has had Alzheimer's or dementia, but I know family, friends and stuff have seen their grandparents and stuff go through it. Horrible. So wandering is a big problem because they'll get confused, go outside, start walking,

forget where they're going or what's happening, get spun around a whole lot of times and just continue to walk aimlessly and can obviously cause a lot of problems. So this article on ways to prevent Alzheimer's wandering taught me something about Alzheimer's. And this is the fact of the day. This is today's fact of the day.

Okay. Put a dark mat, like a black mat, on the floor in front of any doors that lead to outside with ink in it. Soak it in ink. No, no, no. And follow their footsteps. I mean, that's... It's not like a stamp pad. No, no, no, no. And follow their footsteps.

It's not like a stamp pad. Yeah, a big stamp pad on your front door. So not because of that. Yeah. A black mat, like a dark black mat. Yeah. Apparently people with Alzheimer's or dementia will see it as a hole. And not want to step over it. So a big mat.

So dark. And it's the same with any like largely dark spot. Like if a shadow has been cast and it's a real dark shadow, they'll walk around it from studies and people have been studying it because they think that it's just black. Oh, that just must be a hole. Wow, that's fascinating.

Then Nana will call us all the time being like, there's a hole in my doorway. Nah, because she'll forget. She'll shut the door and go back. If she's calling you in a moment of like a lucid moment, you could say that's your doormat. But it's when it's,

when the, because I don't know how this, I don't know how it works, but I know there's periods of like lucidity and you can interact like normal or certain things

will, you know, spark the, you'll see the person that you knew and then it might fade away again. But it's in that, it's in that state

of wandering. Right. That they'll walk around dark things, like, yeah, just like a black mat on the ground, because to them, in the wandering state, it looks a lot like a hole. Wow. Isn't that amazing?

Yeah. So they won't, and also another way to do it is to put, like, a shower curtain in front of the door so they can't see the handle. Then you're confusing them and they think they're in the shower. Well, you could just put an ordinary curtain. You could get like a curtain rail and hang it in front of the door. Because if they can't see that it's a door, they won't attempt to go through it.

They'll think it's a window. I don't know what's driving them. It's so confusing and crazy, right? Isn't that sad dealing with that stuff when, you know, it could be like your parents. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's like reading about it and it's just like everybody's still so in the dark about what causes it. It's just a really interesting article, actually. Okay. I can pop the link. If you text in the studio and you want to read the article, I can reply with the article link. Just to help you out maybe if this is something that you're dealing with

or going to have to deal with. It's actually a really informative article. But today's fact of the day is that people with dementia or Alzheimer's, when they see a dark spot on the ground, be it a shadow or a dark mat, think it's a hole and will avoid it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. A couple are very upset at Gordon Ramsay for gate crashing their wedding. Okay.

So they had a ceremony on a beach. Now, it was a private wedding, but the beach is public. So you're running that risk, eh, that someone's going to frisbee through your wedding. Or a dog's going to be. Yeah, pooping in the background of your wedding shot. Take down your driftwood pergola that you're getting married under. So apparently there was, this filming was booked on the same day as their wedding.

Right. So Gordon Ramsay was filming a TV show, it's called Future Food Stars. Is that where he goes around with his mates? No. That was the loosest idea for a TV show. He's just like, okay, me and my mates are just going to travel around Mexico.

I loved that Italian guy. What was his name? He's so great. So funny. The two dudes that he was on there with were loose units. Yeah. Gordon was like the afterthought on that. The other two were great.

But he took over the kitchen of the place that was serving the food. Whereas if you were maybe serving a wedding that day, you'd maybe want to do it on a different day. I don't know. But he took over the kitchen and they said they were unhappy with the food. They called it cheap and nasty food was instead served. Oh, no.

Wow. Was it going to be better than the food they were getting? What? Was it worse than the food they were getting? No, apparently it wasn't very good. But, like, was he trying to make a point? I don't know, because it's Gordon Ramsay. He's got Michelin stars.

Yeah. So, but they weren't happy. They called it a complete kitchen nightmare. And they have complained. Now, the executive producer apologised in writing and said, I'm mortified that we affected your special day. I can assure you it was never our intention to upset you or your guests. So they were always going to be taking over the kitchen?

Yeah. Oh, right. So they didn't just walk into the kitchen and be like, I'm Gordon Ramsay, let me do this. But also there's pictures of it. And so they said they felt like extras in a TV show, which I guess they were. But the whole beach was completely covered in this production.

And the wedding people had no idea this was happening on the day. You would be pissed then. You would be pissed. Because you don't want to be standing around for a TV show. The executive producer is now pissed because apparently before they went to the media, they paid for their wedding in full. So they reimbursed them. Oh, yeah, okay.

When they said, as soon as we found out we'd ruined, you know, So now they just want everyone to see their wedding photos. They paid for everything. You see, that's a bit, that's a bit rich. But then they should have made them sign something. Yeah, they said it's a real shame the couple is still complaining. Their bill was generously covered. And they happily chatted with Gordon on the day.

They didn't have exclusive use of the beach. And all the beach goers had a really great time joining in and off camera. What do you care? It's paid for now. Yeah, exactly. And you probably got a photo with Gordon Ramsay. It's a good wedding day story. It's better than most wedding days.

You know, we just had a wedding on the beach. And you met Gordon Ramsay and he ruined your day. It's a great story. Yeah, and there's a behind the scenes video when you go watch that episode. And then they reimbursed the Valentine's Day. It cost us nothing. Whinging palms, eh? ZD Valentine's Day. It costs us nothing. Yeah. Whinging poms, eh?

ZDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan. Tonight on TVNZ2, 8.40. It's the new season of the Taskmaster show. Uh-huh. And we're expecting any minute Guy Montgomery. Hosted by the lovely Jeremy Wells Is he still lovely? New Zealand

I haven't heard anything to the contrary Megan Paul Williams on there as well Ursula Carlson Yes now we had booked as a guest on the show at this very moment Guy Montgomery New Zealand comedian He had chosen to prioritise Radio Hauraki

where his taskmaster himself, Jeremy Wells, is working. That's why I said he's still lovely, stealing our interview. The issue is he was meant to be here at 8.30 to do their interview. Oh, he's late. He's late, so he's doing them now and we're running out of time. This is unbelievable. Now, what's happening with Executive Antonania? We've sent her over on the phone to wait outside the studio

so we can literally start the interview the minute she walks out of the studio. On the phone. On the phone. And then end it in studio. Yeah. Can I pick up Anna's line? Oh, I can't.

They're en route. Now, where is he? He's currently walking through the foyer. Guy, good morning. Good morning. It's a wonderful foyer. A wonderful morning, actually. I'm really excited to be in the booth with you in a matter of seconds. Okay, fantastic. We just want to get this thing rolling.

Yeah, we're just, we're nearly there. The door is opening. Three, two, one. There she goes. There she goes. There he is. And here he is. Guy Montgomery live on the radio. Good morning.

Good morning. No, she hasn't got his. Is that not plugged in? It says mic on. That one's mic's on. There he is. Hey, how are you guys? Good.

Good. Thank you. It's so good to be here. 8.30 is too early for you, isn't it? Only by, I can't do maths, 24 minutes. No, do you know, in my defence, such is my appetite for broadcasting that I actually was late because I recorded a podcast with some Americans at 6.30am and these bloody, these tardy pricks,

you know, they run over. So all of a sudden I'm navigating Auckland traffic from, the rural listeners will love this, Mount Roskill to the CBD. You can only imagine. Sandworm gets clogged up like an old man's artery. And there's no pushing through that. Absolutely. But I've made it.

I mean, there's no denying I'm here. I would defy any of your listeners to say that this isn't my voice. Here you are. So Taskmaster Season 2 starts tonight. Now, I didn't know this, but there's a real, in the comedy rankings in New Zealand, there's a real feeling of I need to be on that show. Why is that person on that show and I'm not on that show?

When they came out and said, well, this is who's doing it, and they named it, and there were some comedians, I'm not on that show. When they came out and said, this is who's doing it, and they named it and there were some comedians, I'm not saying about you specifically, but there's some comedians that are like interesting choice, interesting cast. It was real competitive. Everybody wanted on it. Well, when it got announced that New Zealand was making a

Taskmaster last year, it was immediately the most desirable sort of show because it involves the least amount of preparation. Like you literally show up on the day and it's the most sort of freedom of expression of self. Like you're putting the entirety of yourself and your brain on display inside of the show because you're just showing up and responding to sort of elaborate, well thought out and infuriating tasks that are in front of you.

And it's also like I believe globally it's the most airtight and brilliant format for a panel show there is because you get to be spread across an entire season. It's 10 episodes. And so there's a real arc to it. And, I mean, it's also evergreen. Like with due respect to topical panel shows, of which this nation has some. I think you might be involved with one of them.

I'm lightly involved. They have a very, you know, the turnover of their value is much higher. But Taskmaster, it lives in a vacuum. Like the tasks are all so ludicrous and not sensitive. Like it exists purely within itself. Right. So it's just, I mean, I've watched... That was a very intellectual answer.

Well, I just, I truly, I've been such a fan of the show. And this is the other thing, is I think all comedians love Taskmaster because you watch it and you feel like you're forming a deeper bond or a closer relationship with the comedians you're watching. Yeah. And so the idea of getting to do it,

it's the number one thing you want to do. So to get to do it is like, it's the number one thing you want to do so to get to do it is like it's a literal career dream come true so how did everybody feel when ursula hadn't watched a single episode uh-huh well i mean she's ursula carlson you know it's a big part of what she does that's what she wants uh yeah it's it doesn't make a difference because also you you've got no control like you have to hand over any idea that you're going to control how you come across on screen or like you're sacrificing so much if you go and try to perform as someone else it's not unlike reality shows actually where it's like if anyone who puts on a facade it will crack because the show is designed to crack you yeah and so we're

not used to it seen it before it's once you doing it, it's not really relevant because it's so immersive. Like you're being asked to do, I don't know what tasks I could probably say, but you're being asked to do sort of, you know, to chop the most onions and build the highest tower. It's not a great example, but it doesn't matter whether or not Ursula's watched the show before because she's got five minutes to chop onions and build a tower. She's got a tower about it.

Yeah. And you say the facade cracked and she actually did crack. No, no, no, no. That's not specific to Ursula. No, no, no, not her facade. There was a cracking. I don't know if that's common knowledge. No, no. Like a physical cracking.

Yes, yes, there was a physical cracking. Is this a story fit for us? This is one of these wonderful stories that we can look forward to sharing over a steaming hot cup of java in between talk breaks. Yes. A little tease on a series. It's the sort of thing that you want to talk about while Doja Cat plays on the airwaves.

Well, boy, you've come to the right place. You're out for a little douche-a-cat. So that's tonight. 8.40 on TVNZ2. Yeah, the iconic broadcast time of 8.40. Is it MasterChef that's running? Probably. God damn, MasterChef.

MasterChef have taken the lack of respect that streaming platforms have for regular formatted syndicated television and brought that to free-to-air TV. Like, you're watching it on TVNZ On Demand. It's like one episode's 59 minutes, the next is 73. Okay, figure it out, guys. Average it out.

All right, Taskmaster is on tonight, TVNZ 2 at 8.40. Guy Montgomery, thank you so much for coming in. Thank you for having me.