ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th May 2020

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

Top Sex Positions  NZ is #1!  What Would Rae Rae Say?  Post-Breakup Transformations  Sam Cane  Fletch & Vaughan need Technical AssistanceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch for Namegan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch for Namegan. The podcast. Good morning. Morena. She's nippy this morning. Guys, look. You've got your track pants on. And your socks pulled up so there is no ankle exposure. Yeah, there's no exposure to the real cold weather. I was five in my car when I drove in.

And I don't know, people on the mainland are like, but that's well cold for me. There was a 10 in my car when I drove in. Oh, really? That was me. Vaughan drives in. It's half an hour difference. You're a 10. Oh, you're a 10.

I'm saying he's a 10, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a 10 in your car. I'm going to work on the delivery of that. Yeah. Was it five in your car? There was a 10. I'm saying he's a 10, yeah. I'm going to work on the delivery of that. Was it five in your car? There was a 10 in my car. But anyway, those high-end prostitutes are killing my back. No.

Currently the warmest place in the country, Gore. Who would have thought? The warmest. 13 degrees in tropical Gore. Microclimate in tropical Gore. It really is. Actually, some of the warmest places are at the bottom of the South Island this morning. The coldest, minus 1.6 currently in eastern Rangitake.

Because I know that they were forecasting some snow in the central plateau yesterday. Yeah, I was wondering what your Taumaranui's were doing this morning. Your Ohakune's, they would have been. Your Turangi's. Nipei. Yeah, I was wondering what your Toa Murunui's were doing this morning. Your Ohakune's. They would have been your Turangi's. Nepe. Yeah. Oh, there's actually

no temperature next to Taupo or Ruturoa, so somebody might need to, the Met Service might need to go out and shake the thermometer. Give that a reboot. Just turn that off,

turn it back on. Sure. You've already missed your coldest temperatures, though. The top six coming up on the show. Police in the US have pulled over

a five-year-old. Yep. He was on his way to buy a Lamborghini and then taking mum's car to, I guess, what he was going to trade in, mum's car,

on a Lamborghini. Like, this is a ridiculous story. How did he even reach the pedals? How does he know about a Lamborghini? No idea. No idea. But the police pulled him over. know about a Lamborghini? No idea. No idea. But the police pulled him over.

So I've got the top six features of a car for five-year-olds. Brilliant. Okay. And also, there's been a study done in Australia, and we've learned a lot about what they're like between the sheets. Oh, okay. Would this apply to us because we're practically neighbours? Well, yeah. Okay. like between the sheets. Oh, okay. Would this apply to us? I'd say so.

Because we're practically neighbours? Well, yeah. Okay. We're the other. They're our third island. All right. Holy moly. What?

I just, on Facebook, refreshed and it popped up a Fortnite post. Yeah. So, Fortnite was waning off. No, this is just a little tidbit. Yeah, Fortnite was waning off and probably relates to the sex stuff. Yeah. Because if you're doing one, you probably can't be doing the other. True. Shit, don't knock it until you've tried it.

It had a resurgence during quarantine. In April, players spent a combined 3.2 billion hours in-game playing Fortnite. Wow. Well, because they've got nothing else to do. They're locked in-game playing Fortnite. Wow. Well, because they've got nothing else to do. They're locked in. Well, I go back into it and spend some hours in it. 3.2 billion collective hours in-game. Wow.

That's hot. That's hotter than whatever position you're going to tell us about. FleshForn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A study's been done, and this is Aussies. This is done by an adult fun toy manufacturer in Australia. So, I mean, we're very similar to the Aussies, but maybe we're not similar in the bedroom.

I don't know. I've never had experience with an Aussie in the bedroom have any of you? neither thanks that was the most unbelievable neither

god at least put some effort in neither neither neither okay well you can be our correspondent on this so

okay a study's been done about what position they prefer in the bedroom. Oh, okay, right. Some of these I feel like I can say and some of them I maybe can't. So, the favourite of Australians and it's, is this, that can't be percentage.

409 and then, or should I count upwards? That's what you do for a list, eh? I don't know. No, let's just hit number one. Okay. 409. Place number two is 302. So it's always 100 ahead.

Right. Is straight up missionary was their favourite. Right. In Australia. Now. We cross now to our correspondent. Vaughan Smith. Missionary specialist.

Thank you. Now, what constitutes that? Man on top. No. It's just lying down, right? It could be either on top. Can it be? So the woman can be on top?

No, but it's if the... Yeah, I would have thought that. Yeah, right, okay. This is going to be very difficult to talk about. Pancaked on just lying down. Megan, never describe sex as pancaked. I'm trying to say like on top of each other. According to Women's Health magazine,

missionary requires the vanilla ice cream sex position. That's a bit rude, but mean. Yes. The person's on top. What about if it's the man?

Is that what you're saying? Whoever's right. But that's what Megan was saying. The man. Is that what you're saying? Whoever's right. Yeah. But that's what Megan was saying. Yes, the man. In a heterosexual cis couple, the man would be on top. For missionary? Yes.

But it can't be the other way around. No. Yes, exactly. But then, okay, what about in a gay? Because it comes from the old Christian missionaries of you just do it as plain as you like. Yeah. And of course the man had to be in control and the woman had to be right underneath his eye. Did everyone know that?

Did you know that, Anya? No. That it's named after the missionaries. No, I didn't know that the guy was on top. I thought it was just like that position. Because there's another name for that, isn't there? Woman's on top. Yeah.

What is that? I don't know. Cowgirl. Yes. No,? Woman's on top. Yeah. What is that? You talk about cowgirl. Yes. No, but that's like that. Not like that. Not lying down. Sluts cowgirl. What's that angle?

90 degrees. Like 90 degrees. The two of you are 90 degrees. Do you and Mr. Toyboy get up the protractor? I'm just trying to describe it. You've gone down to 45 degrees. I'm trying to describe it without being cr down to 45 degrees I'm trying to describe it Just pop back up

Angles are not crass Very boring But what about if it's a gay couple It can be missionary But the person It has to be on top I did not know that The top has to be on top

We're learning How do you know that. The top has to be on top. Okay, right. Yeah, good. We're learning. How do you know that term? Those terms? I'm very in touch. With the community. Okay. Very much.

Oh, how do I say the next one? So second favourite position, 100 behind, pretty much behind missionary, is a style. A something style. Oh, okay. Can I say that one? No.

That we get off our canine compatriots. Yeah, right. Okay. That's number two. Yeah, okay. Can I say that one? No. That we get off our canine compatriots. Yeah, right. That's number two. Yeah, right. Okay. As previously mentioned, cowgirl is third. 200. Yeehaw.

Now, hold on because I need to know if, what constitutes that? God, I tell you what the cosmopolitan's got. 90 degrees. It's 90 degrees and nothing below 80 degrees. The girl is, what's up and down? Vertical. Yeah. The guy is horizontal and you're at 90 degrees.

No, hello, because according to this cosmopolitan, there are eight sub-positions that still fall under the cowgirl umbrella. I know, but that's like straight up, right? Because then there's reverse. There's straight up, there's... Oh my. Are you learning some things on cosmopolitan.com? No, I'm wanting to know if it's...

Yeah, okay. If it's... The cowgirl's slumped over on the horse. Is it still cowgirl? Lazy cowgirl. Tired. Shot cowgirl's slumped over on the horse. Is it still cowgirl? Lazy cowgirl. Or, yeah, like shot cowgirl. Like she's been shot by one of the cowboys. Yeah.

Right. And then spooning is fourth. Okay. There's a number that is fifth. Next on the list. Yep. Okay. Two-digit number.

74. Yeah. 74. Yeah. Yeah. And then reverse cowgirl, other, and tabletop with standing coming in last. Standing coming in last. Brilliant. Okay. Tabletop.

Now, that's an Australian. That's an Australian study. They're just like a table. Is that the table or it's on a table? No, because if they were the table, they'd be. I would say that the. Tabletop. I tell you what, this is all public record because I'm Googling some stuff.

Yeah. Lying on a table. I hope you've got a tablecloth. You don't have to eat on that. The picture's standing up. Brilliant. Okay. No, no, it doesn't need to be on a table.

Does it not? Okay. No. Well, that's good because we eat on that, don't we? And do puzzles. You can do it on the edge of the bed. Sit on the edge of the bed. Okay.

Lie back. Okay, great. Yeah. And you're going to be facing each other. Right. Poor Sade. She's going to get an undead today. No, but these, I like, well, it's no time during.

You can't be like, all right, should we try the tabletop? No, you're going to get home and be like, right, let me show you some things. I've found an article. God, I told her about OnlyFans yesterday. That was a real kitchen. That was a real kitchen bench conversation. She's like, what?

And then we were, wow. I mean, that needs a deep dive on your own time there. It does. Gentile listener. All right, quarter past six. Top six is coming up. We're going to talk about

supermarkets, online ordering. Oh, you're a bit flustered, mate. A little bit. Get off Cosmo. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

The supermarkets have been inundated lately. Have you been lately to the supermarket? Not much. Lines? Not too bad. No, there wasn't. Because it's dead in the city. I go to the little metro supermarkets.

Right. During the day, no one around. I went last week and did the big weekly shop on Friday on the way home and it was the first time there's been no lines. Oh, wow. But all the,

like the fences, the cattle yard, you know, you get in the line and then you weave your way in and then you get in there but there was no line for it. Right.

But there's been a study into what supermarkets were the cheapest over level four lockdown and into level three. Okay. And the study not only found out who was the cheapest, but whose prices fluctuated the most. Oh, okay. So, Pack and Save was the cheapest.

It should be no surprise. They've made ads where they literally do a shop at Pack and Save and a shop at another supermarket and then name that supermarket and how much cheaper they were than them. Ouch, hey, if I was at the other supermarket I'd be like, bitch.

You caught us on a bad day. Yeah. But you had to get a wet banana box to put all your groceries in at the end, so. Yuck. But there was a group

of 15 items that were purchased at Pack and Save New World and Countdown two times, April 25th and May 6th. Okay. Why they chose to do that on Anzac Day, that would have been a very, very busy day to be going to the supermarket

because it didn't open until a little bit later that day. But Pack and Save came in the cheapest. It was $7 cheaper than Countdown over 15 items. $7.36 cheaper than Countdown and $6.24 cheaper than New World. Wow. Over 15 items? Yeah. So it was crazy.

It was, the items were like essentials, but chucked in a couple of COVID essentials, like your hand sanitizer and stuff like that. So, but then they found out when they went back, the changes, the prices had fluctuated the most at Pack and Save. Right. However, a couple had gone up, but the ones that had gone down had taken it down further.

Right. So it was actually less the second shop because of the specials and what had been in there. New World and Countdown didn't fluctuate as much, but it wasn't a bad fluctuation because it ended up being down even though a couple of the items were slightly more expensive. See, if I had to go to a pack and save, it would cost me $7 in petrol because I might only have one close to me.

Have you filled up lately? At the petrol station? No. What a pleasant surprise. Petrol's quite cheap. Is it? Yeah. Have you filled up lately? At the At the petrol station? No What a pleasant surprise Petrol's quite cheap Is it? Yeah Well I don't need as much

Somebody I know right I saw yesterday in Christchurch Someone found 91 for under $1.40 What? Wow Excuse me Yeah

No what really? Once they had used the discount thing There was Right okay Yeah it was like $1.39 Which is insane, right? Yeah. Yeah.

$1.91 when I filled up yesterday was $1.90, I think, flat. $1.90 flat. And premium was $2.03. Well, we're going to be able to do some laps in level two. Feels like it, eh? Yeah, good. Feels like a return to that. Doing some laps, cranking that sub and those six by nines in the back of your mum's Mazda 323.

There's been a massive boom in online spending, which is good because we're supporting local and everyone's getting behind it, getting excited because that's how we do retail at the moment. But some retailers were unprepared and there is backlog. Some people were reporting waiting for things up to six weeks. There is notes on the warehouse and I think Farmer's website saying, please be patient, please be kind. We're shipping orders as fast as we can. Farmer says due to unprecedented damage through our website

and the Korea network. Your delivery will take longer than normal to reach to you. Unprecedented demand. Demand. Well, I say damage. Damage. Sorry. I was like, what have they done?

Unprecedented demand through our website. Sorry. Right. Okay. Yeah. But there's lots of people complaining as well. I would have thought that if you see those notes on the website and you kind of expect that we've come out of lockdown,

everyone's like gone a bit cray. You expect to wait a little bit, but yeah, lots of complaints. I've seen couriers on the news talking about the backlog and just the sheer volume of packages. Yeah. Like unreal amounts. Yeah. Oh, they're under the pump.

Yeah. So go easy on the couriers. You're doing the best they can. And you're doing the right thing shopping local, but you do also have to be a little bit patient. But there is, with outdoor equipment and clothing, it's two to five or three times, between two to five and three times higher than this time last year.

Wow. So everyone's getting ready to go outdoors and do some stuff, which is good. Not going overseas anytime soon. No. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're number one. New Zealand is number one. I think we'd probably

agree that we deserve this actually. We can stand up and be like, yeah, okay. This is a survey. It's done about the public relations industry over the COVID-19 period. So who is doing the best from a public relations point of view? Oh, like from a government. Yeah. Whose response and whose communications has been the best?

America. Also, just before I tell you the results, most of these people came from North America, most of the respondents. Okay. North America, Asia, and Europe. So these are experts in PR. Yeah.

Right, okay. So these aren't even Kiwis. It's not like we're turning our own horn. So New Zealand was voted as having the most impressive response to COVID-19, 20% of the votes. See, we tune in every day at one o'clock for these briefings. We don't know how rare that is to have such open information. And it's just delivered factually. Whereas some countries aren't even doing daily briefings.

And when they do, they're kind of spinning it. Yeah. Next is Germany. So we they're kind of spinning it. Yeah. Next is Germany. So we got 20%. Germany, 16.5. Singapore was next with 9%. And then fourth, the most common answer was none. 5%.

Oh, wow. So it goes New Zealand, Germany, Singapore, and then none. Wow. Wow. Isn't that good? Yeah. So on the other end of the scale, they asked who had the worst response.

United States, 60%. They were way out in front. Yeah. Next in line was Britain on 12% and then China. So they were voted as having the worst response. Britain denied it was a problem. Yep. For a long time

and then decided to hurt immunity and then people started, numbers really started popping up of people dying so I think they changed around. Well, exactly. It took their prime minister

getting sick for their government to take it so seriously. Yeah. But China was, everyone thought they were a little bit quiet about it.

Like not sharing enough information. Like they started sharing some information, but America just, yeah, just goes on to completely say that they know best and the other. So we got number one, but they also gave us some feedback on our homework and they said, much of that is to do with Jacinda Ardern's personal style and empathy

and the calm and rational presentations of Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. Yes, daddy. Daddy Bloomfield. But it also takes a great communications team. The daily detailed briefings are exactly the right thing to do. I have wondered who is behind them, the actual briefings themselves.

The sign language person. Ah. So when they're doing the hand stuff, it's sign language, but also magic to control everything. Yes. I don't actually know who's behind the signs. Like, who's all, like... Because someone has to, I always think someone's got to collate

all that information. Because they have a briefing in the morning, and then they've got to collate and write something for... The Prime Minister's team. Yeah. Do you know, are they still doing... Because during Level 4, when everyone was tuning in every day,

it was driving me nuts how they only had one camera there and Dr. Ashley Bloomfield would be talking and then he'd gesture towards the Prime Minister and the camera would be like, slow pan.

There she is. And then she'd be like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Back to you, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. And it'd be like... I don't know who's running the AV department at Parliament, but give them some budget for another camera.

Give them another camera and one of those things to switch in between. Yeah. Yeah, and this is New Zealand's most watched show. It deserves some budget, some production budget. Well, today's one o'clock briefing. I believe we're going to hear today more about what Level 2 is going to involve. What's it going to look like? And what that's going to look like exactly.

And I guess what businesses will be able to open and what we'll be able to do, like gathering numbers, that kind of thing. Can we go to a bar? I reckon it's going to look hot. You reckon it's going to look hot? It's going to look good. But we don't know, they're not going to tell us when, are they? Or they'll tell us when they'll make a decision maybe to go to Level 2.

So that'll all be today at one o'clock. The top six is next. A child, a five-year-old, took mum's car to go buy a Lamborghini. I have the top six features of a car for a five-year-old.

Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. A five-year-old stopped by the police in the US. A car reported to be driving erratically.

The police... There's footage of it. Yeah. He's actually doing a pretty good job for a five-year-old, I thought. Like, because it's obviously an automatic, but how's he reaching the pedals? Or just... It's just going slowly? Very good question.

No, it was going at a decent speed. But he would... Burrowed mum's car is off to buy a Lamborghini. No, I was going at a decent speed. But he would borrow mum's car and he was off to buy a Lamborghini. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe mum listened

to lots of rap because Lamborghinis are mentioned in rap songs because so many things rhyme with Lamborghini. Yeah. Genie,

Bambini, Yeah. Fettuccine. Yeah. Fettuccine. Yeah, I think you're showing why your career as a rap star didn't take off. There was lots of ums in my career as a rap star. It was slow and lots of ums. Yeah.

But if a five-year-old's going to buy a car, it's got to be suitable for a five-year-old. So the top six features of a car for a five-year-old are, number six, a very adjustable seat and pedals. Yeah. Because that's the thing. How was this little fella reaching the pedals? How was he doing it? Don't know.

Because it's either seeing or reaching the pedals. Yeah, that was the deal, right? Well, at least you just go down for a bit of acceleration and then pop back up. Make sure you're on track. There's been a caper before where the kids, one was doing the pedals and one was driving. Yeah, that makes sense. before where the kids, one was doing the pedals and one was driving. Yeah.

Break, break. That makes sense. Number five on the list of the top six features of a car for a five-year-old, a spot for a good nap. Yeah. So that would be

just the back seat, I'd imagine. You're five, you could probably sprawl across the back seat. Yeah. But then the belts always get you right in the back.

Yeah. And sometimes the middle back seat's raised. Raised. So you're humped. You're like, mm. Number four on the list of the top six features of a car for a five-year-old. A cup holder that holds a juice box. Because mostly they're round, but you can't fit a square peg in a round hole.

So it needs to be a big. Mind you, some American cars have massive cup holders. Oh, yeah. Because have you seen their takeaway cups? Yeah. Like, they're large as like ours. It's like a 1.5 litre. Pretty much, yeah.

Well, yeah, my in-laws have got American trucks. Yeah. And I've borrowed them before and put a coffee cup in the cup holder and it, like, the danger of it is it rolls around. It's too much roll. And then you've got to reach your hand right into the bottom to get it because it slips to the bottom of it because it's so massive. Number three on the list of the top six features of a car for a five-year-old

and in-studio TV to watch YouTube. Yeah, good. So they just need a little YouTube time every now and then. It's necessary. Number two on the list of the features of a car for a five-year-old, a timeout sign. If they get naughty, they have to have a little timeout. They give themselves a timeout.

Yeah. Okay. All right, just a little timeout in the backseat. Or the boot. Yep, true. Through the backseat. Yeah. That was great when you were a kid, climbing into the boot through the backseat.

Yeah. And then pulling the seat shut behind you, but not clicking it because then you were going to be locked in there. I was always excited if someone had a car and it had a way through to the boot. Yeah. It was just like, what is this magic? Your parents come back from the supermarket and they're like, where are you?

I'm in the boot. Ta-da. But I pulled the seat closed behind me. Can you put a boot? No. You've got to learn your lesson. Then they drive home real fast going around corners. Speed bumps.

And number one on the list of the top six features of a car for a five-year-old are stain-resistant interior. Yeah. Those little buggers with their filthy hands on everything. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Today, one o'clock, we find out in the daily briefing exactly what Level 2 is going to look like. Yeah. That doesn't mean we'll go to Level 2.

And joining us tomorrow on the show, the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. We can talk to her after the briefing today. This is a segment where we see you some homework. We give you a topic. Well, you get to pick a topic, actually. Then you've got one day to research and make a presentation. Then tomorrow we hear from you in a one-minute homeschool presentation on your subject. Yes, a lockdown special.

Keeps us busy. Yep. Keeps the brain active. Tara, good morning. Good morning. All right, so we're each going to give you a subject, a topic, and you've got to pick one of them. Okay.

Now, I've been delving back into one of my favourite television shows, Air Crash Investigation. Oh, okay. And I am going to give you the subject of Aloha Airlines Flight 243. Okay. The option of the subject. You don't have to pick that. You don't have to pick that. Look at this. It's when the roof came off. The option of the subject. You don't have to pick that. You don't have to pick that.

Look at this. It's when the roof came off. The roof of the plane came off and it still landed. Is that the one where Sibs got sucked out the hole? Sibs got sucked out the hole. The flight attendant. The flight attendant, she got sucked out the hole. She got sucked out the hole.

Is she okay? They never found her. No, Megan, she's dead. No, they never found her, I don't think. Look at that though, Megan. Look at that. That landed. Yeah. There's like never found her, I don't think. Look at that though, Megan. Look at that. That landed. Yeah.

There's like eight rows of seats exposed to the air. So what people... What happened? What happened? What a landing. Well, you just kind of told us everything. I didn't tell you everything. It's quite an incredible episode of Air Crash Investigation.

Yes, I'm intrigued. It's up for grabs, Tara. Megan, what's your subject? Don't say it like that. I feel like you get real competitive about Tara. Megan, what's your subject? Don't say it like that. I feel like you get real competitive about this. Megan, what's your subject? I do. I went completely in the opposite direction.

I would like to know the history of the high heel. Oh, okay. Okay. Who thought that was a good idea? And now we wear them around Were you talking to a stiletto or were you just talking a heel? Well

a stiletto is a type of heel I'll just save you time Tara Short people want to be taller Easy I haven't got much of my heels over the last few weeks Well the subject I will offer you to present tomorrow on May the 8th is Enrique Iglesias,

as tomorrow is Enrique Iglesias' 45th birthday. Is it? Yeah. So I thought we could celebrate Enrique Iglesias for the hero that he is. Well, I didn't know that because tomorrow is tomorrow? Is it my turn for Flashback Friday? Should we have some Enrique Iglesias? Oh, my God. We could almost do hero

and dedicate it to Ashley Bloomfield. Oh, get it. And our frontline workers. Yes. Yes. First responders. What up? You were part of this brainstorm, Tara.

I think the stars are aligning, Tara. I think they are. I think it was a really, really hard decision for me because I love, absolutely love air flight mysteries and things like that. Oh, yeah, okay. But it sounds like the stars are aligning. Okay.

And it sounds like tomorrow's the day where New Zealand needs to learn a little bit more about Enrique Iglesias. Yes, it's his birthday. I'm not mad about it. We will celebrate. Brilliant. All right, well, Tara, that is your homeschool homework on Enrique Iglesias.

Tomorrow we'll hear your 60-second presentation. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We're all at home. We're spending more time at home. And there's something you can do at home that is very good for your mental health. It's not actually going to help you much,

Fletch. Great. Because the small little part of this that you can do, you suck at. Megan, this is not positive.

Well, everyone else is positive. Okay. Vaughan does a lot. I do a little bit. Okay. It's pottering in the garden. Oh,

why don't you have an apartment? I've got an apartment. I've got an apartment. I can'ttering in the garden. Oh, why don't you have a garden? I've got an apartment. I've got an apartment. I can't be in the garden. My veggie garden's not existing anymore. Because I don't have time. But like my actual garden

and then all my house plant babies thriving. And it's like there's nothing more relaxing. Oh, and how good is it when you get a new leaf on your indoor plant? Oh, that's always pretty exciting. A new shoot. We've had one that's sprouted too many. It's like we've put it up high and it cascades down.

But it's grown too many. So we had to choose which ones were going to get the snip and went to snip off some of its limbs as it was becoming too dominant, like a monstera. I can't relate to this problem. New growth on inside plants. Fascinating. Oh, my monstera got two new leaves recently. I was like, lockdown looks good

on you, baby. You can't spell monstera without monster and those things do get out of control. It's good knowing that they're happy, you know? Yeah. This isn't something you can relate to. No. You kill all your houseplants. 71% of people who used their garden and potted around in the garden were in good health.

This is quite a big survey too. They said that if you pot around in the garden, it's really good for your mental health. It's very relaxing. It's like meditation, right? Therapeutic. It's really hard to sit still and not think about anything. But when you're in the garden, you can just kind of think about the weed. Quiet nature, getting fresh air.

Yeah. A little bit of low burn exercise. Yeah, in touch with nature. Can you count it as exercise? Well, I don't know. Well, it depends what you're doing. If you're digging. If you're mowing the lawns, I guess.

And moving and pushing a wheelbarrow. Yeah. Yeah. Last night the sun was down. I went to take the sheep some hay and some, yeah, I guess. And moving and pushing a wheelbarrow. Yeah. Yeah. Last night the sun was down. I went to take the sheep, some hay and some bits and pieces. And I was down there and I heard, hello. And I turned around and it was Norma from next door. And the sun was down.

That's Norma. Did you think that's where that story was going? I thought the animals started talking. No, that would be, this story is about having good mental health. If your animals start talking to you, you might have poor mental health. Yeah. Because how old is she? A man never asks. Right. But

the sun was down. Like the moon was coming up. Big full moon last night. Yeah, it was. She's like, what are you up to? I was like, I'm just bringing the sheep some hay. And she was like, oh, okay. I said, what are you doing out here? She said, I'm gardening. I said, well, go and pick your feet up. She's like, no, it's nice. It's a cool night, I'm gardening. I said, well, go and put your feet up. She's like, no, it's nice.

It's a cool night. I'm all rugged up so I'm not too cold. She was gardening in the dark. She was gardening. She was pottering. She had gardening gloves on. I was like, shit, they don't make them like they used to. Did she ever torch?

She loved it. I told her she could garden by moonlight. I said, that's very romantic, isn't it? Don't flirt with Norma. And then I came in and told Shada that story. She's like, you and old ladies, man, you are unstoppable. I was like, they're my people. They are absolutely my people.

They like going to bed early. They love watching The Chase. Love a whiskey. Love a whiskey because, you know, why not? And love pottering in the garden. They're my people. They don't like a crowd. They don't like too much noise.

They can't hear properly. You are basically an old lady. They're my people. They don't like a crowd. They don't like too much noise. They can't hear properly. You are basically an old lady. They are my people. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, Ray Ray. Yeah? What would you say?

Good morning, Mum. Morning. Now, Ray Ray, how have you been in lockdown in Nelson? Oh, is there lockdown? Here we go. She's emptied the fridge and found meat in there from 2009. Yeah, we made a casserole last night. It was beautiful.

You didn't. You didn't eat that. Waste not, want not. Yeah, don't waste it. No. We're pensioners now. We've got to be careful. Did it actually taste okay?

Yes. It was divine. Look, we put heaps of stuff with it. We soaked it overnight in Worcester sauce and soy sauce and garlic. Oh, Worcester sauce. Yes. Goodness. And then slow cooked it for 12 hours.

Sounds like a sodium nightmare. Well, Ray Ray, it's a brand new segment. What would Ray Ray say? Because you're known as someone with, you know, some upfront advice. Sage, I'd say. Sage advice. You just really never know what you're going to get. So we put the call out to our listeners.

Do you have like a problem that Ray Ray could give you some advice on? And wow, a lot of people responded. And Megan, you've picked out one. Yeah, I've got one for you, Mum. Are you ready? Yep. Hi, Ray Ray. I need your help.

I've been living with my boyfriend of three years and our three other flatmates during lockdown. We've been getting on okay, but the extra time to think has made me realise that we just aren't compatible long term. And now that I've made that decision, every single little thing he does has been driving me nuts. Whenever the man even breathes a little loudly,

I'm ready to pack my suitcase and say, see ya, but we are living in a new town, so we don't have much of a support network here. I feel kind of mean breaking up with him now, but it's also driving me crazy. Ray Ray, what do you think I should do? Well, yeah, she can't go anywhere at the moment though, can she? Is this she

or he? It's a she. Well, if she had a shovel, she could hit him on the head. I don't think we should be murdering each other, Ray Ray. She's got to be very patient. I mean, I can relate to that situation because I've got one of those in my house.

You married him. It's too late now. That's 44 years. It's just the last four weeks. Yeah, we had 44 years, but four weeks were too many. Relate to what she's going through, but you've got to be very tolerant. I mean, it's just the fact that she's stuck in the house

with all these other dweebs. And are the other dweebs males or females? Because you know what? Males are like bloody useless. That's true. Ouch. A little bit patient

and see what happens when they come out of level two. Right. So you're saying she shouldn't rush into breaking up with the boyfriend? No, he might be thinking the same thing. She's got to be very careful because he might have packed his bags before she gives her time to pack her bag. Or she does. Right, so you

want to be the first to leave is what you're saying. He might be thinking the same about her. I mean, it's a pretty intense situation at the moment, really. Do you think that she should talk to him then? I think so. I think she needs to say, well, look, you know, we've just got to be a little bit tolerant and we'll see how things go when we come out of Level 3. Yeah, I think so.

Is that what you've done with Dad? No, I've cleaned the shovel. I was going to say. She fed him age-old meat and hit him with a shovel, and hopefully the rest, nature will take care of the rest. Yeah, well, he's getting quite good around the house. He's done lots of jobs, and he's doing a bit of cooking. Oh, what a good man.

Are you still doing your meditation? Because you started doing that before lockdown. Yeah, no, we haven't been able to get up there because they've closed. Yeah, right. Are you not doing meditation at home with Dad? Oh, yeah, a little bit, but it's sort of the atmosphere up there is really peaceful and

really nice. Yeah, but not peaceful with Dad. Right. You know, really nice. Yeah. Yeah, but not people are dead. Yeah. Right. Well, it sounds like it's been a testing four weeks, Ray Ray. Thank you so much for your advice. What would Ray Ray do?

Ray Ray from Nelson, thank you so much. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A photo of Adele popped up on the internet yesterday, and everyone was like, whoa. Because last time we saw Adele, she had lost weight. Yeah. But she's not been big on social. She's been living a quiet life.

Oh, you could have been out of the public eye. You could see why. She couldn't go anywhere without... Well, she probably could now. I honestly say she could have walked past me in the street after seeing that photo yesterday. I wouldn't have even recognised her. It was a photo from her birthday

and she was standing in front of like a flower wreath-y thing. I scrolled through it. It was her 32nd birthday, right? Yeah. Scrolled through it and I was like, I don't know who that is. And then I saw someone post it online being like, Adele! And I was like, what? Went back to Instagram. I was like, oh my god,

it is! I didn't even look at the name. Yeah. Like, unrecognisable. Do you, could she walk past you on the street? You wouldn't have been like, that's Adele Yeah I reckon Because not only that she hadn't You know how she always had like a winged eye And she always had like kind of coiffed hair

And like her style's completely different as well Yeah So you just I just don't even think I'd recognise her Completely different So that has made everyone feel so fat During this lockdown I was just like, how dare you? This has been a long journey for her.

It's not like she's emerged out of lockdown like that. There's two approaches to it. The internet's kind of divided. A lot of people saying, well, hearing that she's had a trainer and she's worked hard and calorie restricted. Good luck on that

one. Right in my right. See how much calories are in bread? How dare you? So people, you know, very much congratulatory and she's worked hard and she's achieved what she wants. But then there's the other side of it where people are saying that she looks gorgeous since she's lost weight, but what if she had disappeared and come back and had weighed more?

Would people have said, oh, she's blown out, and it would have been all negative just because she'd put on weight. And also there was those reports a while ago that she was on a really restrictive diet that potentially isn't very safe. Yeah. So, like, it's kind of a difficult thing. If everyone's congratulating her and she's not actually doing this in a safe way, then that's not beneficial either.

Adele lost some tweets. If you Google Adele weight loss, then surprise, surprise, Twitter's got an opinion. But a nutritionist said she lost weight and the media's all over itself with positive comments. If she gained weight, it would have been all negative. The point is stop making people's bodies into news stories. It reinforces a disgusting and harmful obsession with thinness.

But it is still a fascinating transformation. So we are fascinated about it, aren't we? But do you know what? I just went on her Instagram because you can still see likes on a webpage. And of all the things Adele's done, she's an amazing singer. Like performances and everything on her Instagram, this photo's got the most likes. Really? How many likes? 5.9 million. Wow. This photo's got the most likes. Really?

How many likes? 5.9 million. Wow. And it's not even been up a day. Yeah. Because it's her first post for a while, because it's about transformation, and because we're talking about it,

so if you haven't seen it and you're hearing us talk about it, positive or negative view on the whole situation, you'd probably be interested in seeing it. And it was posted everywhere yesterday. Yeah. Interesting. As long was posted everywhere yesterday. Yeah. Interesting. As long as she's happy.

It's the classic post-breakup. Because, you know, she got divorced, didn't she? What, start of this year? From Swampy. From Swampy. She got divorced. No, it's been a while now. Has it been a while?

Yeah. She got divorced and she's like, well, it's a classic post-breakup glow up. Yeah. Well, you concentrate on yourself. You want to rub it in their face. Yep. Especially if it's got a bit messy. Your husband, your girlfriend, your wife, whatever, isn't making you eat ice cream and biscuits.

So it was like over a year ago. Right. Okay. It was, yeah, the start of April 2019. The divorce being finalized because remember she didn't have a prenup and we never heard like exactly how much money she had to give up for that. Yeah, I don't know.

Well, she can be, yeah. She can be happy she's rid of that now. What, half of her money? No, I mean... Him. Him. And like... And half of her money.

And post all the photos and be like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, I would be interested in hearing about your post-breakup transformations. And it doesn't have to be outstanding weight loss. It could just be a complete change of lifestyle, attitude, hair. Yep. New style.

Yeah. And then especially bonus points if your ex was just like, damn it. Yeah. What about like a total life pivot, like a complete change in career or something? Yeah, post-breakup. Yeah. Because it is one of those reflective periods. Isn't it mentioned like thinking back if you'd been a goth and you were going out with another goth

and then there was a messy breakup, maybe looking in the mirror and seeing the goth was too much. Yeah, right. So you ditched the goth. Yeah, okay. Maybe you went away from the goth. Yeah. After a goth breakup. All right, well, give us a call.

0800 dials at M. You can text as well, 9696. Have you had a breakup transformation? Like a huge change after a breakup. Adele has everyone shook after posting a picture from her 32nd birthday. Total transformation in every way. Yeah, like you'd scroll past it or walk past her in the street. You wouldn't even recognise her.

Yeah. Crazy. So we wanted to know your post-breakup transformations. Jeremy, good morning. I don't know what happened there. With the phones? I don't know what happened there with the phones. Jennifer, what was your post-breakup transformation?

Oh, well, it's going to happen soon because I don't trust what happened there with the phones. Jennifer, what was your post-breakup transformation? Oh, well, it's going to happen soon because I don't trust myself with supermarket box dye. I'm blonde at the moment and I'm going to dye my hair red. I'm going to launch my website that I've wanted to do for four years now and I'm kind of like, you know what? I'm Jennifer Duffield. Nothing's

going to stop me. Yes, girl. Do it. Jennifer, is this a lockdown breakup? It was two days, two days into lockdown, yes. Wow. Okay. But did you have to stay together during lockdown?

No, thank God. I think that was the kind of silver lining of the situation. Right. How long had you been together? Oh, I prefer not to say. I prefer not to say, but it was very unexpected. Oh, okay. Mystery there.

A bit of mystery, Jennifer. We're talking post-breakup transformations. Adele has been through a divorce, and she put up a picture from her 32nd birthday yesterday, and everyone's like, oh, is that you? You just wouldn't recognise her. No. Massive weight loss, hairs different, styles different, everything.

And we want to know your post-breakup transformations. Renee, how did yours go? Hey, so it was a little whirlwind. Yeah. Found out that he was turning on me, but then I turned my whole life around and ended up losing 40 kgs. Wow. Did you hear from him when you'd lost the 40 kgs?

No, but I do have friends who, I still have friends with him, and he just pretends like I don't exist, which is fine by me. Right. Good riddance. His loss, eh? Yeah. Good on you. Totally. How riddance. His loss, eh? Yeah. Good on you. Totally.

How long did it take you to lose 40, like just getting some tips here post lockdown, how did you do that? So I started by walking every day and just like eating healthy and then once I'd lost 20 kgs, I decided to join the gym and focus on strength and building up my body so I was much stronger. Yeah, nice. Good on you. Good work, man. I decided to join the gym and focus on strength and building up my body so I was nice and strong. Yeah, nice. Good on you. Good work, man.

It's always interesting when you're like, how did you do it? And they're like, diet and exercise. And you're like, damn it. It's hard work. Damn it. Damn it. No magic pill yet. Damn it.

Hey, thanks for your call, Renee. Aaron, what was your post-breakup transformation? Moved jobs and a new city. Lost a bit of weight. Okay. How much weight did you lose? Not much. It was only about 10.

That's still a lot, though. That's needing new pants, though. You need new pants. Yeah. When you changed jobs, was it a completely different career? Yeah, probably different career. So it was a big life change. Yeah.

Wow, okay. Alright, and again, did you hear it from the ex? Were they just like, what's going on here? You're better now? Nah.

Thanks for talking to me. Good, yeah. You do want to rub it in their face though, eh? You do. You really do. You just want to hope that they see your Instagram

and, you know, it's just a little middle finger to them. They see it. Over the gram, they do. Aaron, thanks for your call, mate. Some text messages in. I broke up with an ex-boyfriend. He was cheating and blackmailing me to stay.

Lost 30 kgs. Cut my hair. It was, I cut over a metre off my hair. Now it's just above my shoulders. Took a long time, but I've left that baggage behind and it feels bloody great. Broke up four years ago. Good on you. Good on you.

My ex used to make me feel incredibly insecure and killed any confidence I had. She was also very self-centered, so every second of my life was spent on pleasing her and thinking about her. I mean, good on her for being confident. But after it ended, I was able to channel my inner thoughts and focus on me and what I needed in my life and what I had always suppressed. And I accepted myself as transgender, female to male. I'm currently a year and a half into that transition and now I'm with someone that loves me for me. Oh, that's awesome. That's nice.

Yeah. 41 years old in a 21-year relationship. 17 years married, four kids. And he cheated. I went blonde, dropped 24 kgs. Oh, yes. Actually, 90 kgs if you count his dead weight to the total. Hey, yo.

Yes. Left my husband in February, moved out of a beautiful home, and I'm in a flat for lockdown. Total life changed. I've used lockdown to exercise and feel better about myself. That's the thing about exercise. It often is just a good bit of mental clarity, getting out and

having a huff and puff. Even though I completely flipped my life upside down, I've never been happier. And one of the biggest transformations that come along with these physical transformations is the mental transformation that you already go through, that you go through as well.

And now, of course, he's going to change and do all the things I've been asking for years. Blah, blah, blah. Typical not going back. Too late. Yeah. Split up with my ex on an adventure weekend. After being years of downtrodden and kept in my place, I went wild. Got a tattoo.

Went whitewater rafting. Did a marathon. Did a marathon? What, just like on a whim? Who's not letting you go whitewater rafting, did a marathon. Who? Did a marathon? What, just like on a whim? Who's not letting you go whitewater rafting? That would be so much fun. I would instantly dump someone if they wouldn't let me go whitewater rafting. If they said no whitewater rafting.

Be like, it's over. And I'm going luging. Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not going abseiling, are you? I'll do that if I want. It's over. Went horse riding, mountain biking, drank champagne in a spa with an amazing bunch of friends. Was a wicked weekend and a new start to a new chapter.

Loving these stories. Yeah, great transformations. Coming up on the show, we've got the All Blacks captain, Sam Kane, the brand new captain. We'll chat to him. The most important question we have is one that we asked former All Blacks captain, Kieran Reid. What is your coffee order? And that is when he divulged to us that he was a moccaccino drinker. Yeah.

He arrived in studio. We said, can we get you a coffee? And he said, oh, yeah, it'll be just anything will be fine. And we said, oh, we'll go to the cafe. He said, oh, yeah, moccaccino. And we went, wow. I loved it about him. Yeah, me too.

Yeah. And he wasn't ashamed of it, was he? No. Time to change, because remember back in the late, probably in the 70s, they probably had a DB for breakfast. DB and a Rothmans. And a Rothmans. That was before the professional era. Yeah, wasn't it?

That was before the professional era. Well, that'll be one question we ask Sam Kane in a Sports Talk special. And also, you had an accident in the Smith house yesterday. Well, if you're wondering if your kids are taking all this staying inside your bubble stuff to heart. Yeah, there was an accident. There was a possible bubble breach.

There was panic. Flesh forner Megan. The podcast. ZM. The America's Cup is now New Zealand's Cup. On his team. Adams. Oh, beautiful connection.

Long black celebrating already. Sports talk. We're at Darkerabub Spits. There's not been a lot of sports happening, have we? I was going to say, listening to all those clips. Remember sports? Yeah. I actually miss it.

The virtual motor racing is pretty interesting, but we're not here to talk about that. No. We are joined on the phone by the newly capped All Blacks captain, Sam Cain. Good morning. Morning, team. How are you going?

Morning. Congratulations. A round of applause. Thank you very much. Thank you. Wow. I heard you had to sit on the secret for two months. Yeah, it was a little bit unusual.

That wasn't the plan, obviously, but with COVID-19 coming about, it wasn't really the time to announce it. Yeah. Now, how's it training when you're in lockdown? Is it hard to find the motivation? Because I know with my gym routine, I've just switched it out with biscuits and eating. Oh, unfortunately, yeah. I suppose, if I'm honest, the first couple of weeks during lockdown,

when it was uncertain when we'd be back playing and sort of what the future looked like, motivation was a little bit tough. But it is our job to stay fit and in good shape, so we don't really have a choice. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah, that's hard.

It's not too bad. It's not too bad. It's not too bad. Look, people are exercising all the time. I'm pretty lucky to get to do it in a job. It hasn't been too bad, actually. It helps structure the day, a bit of exercise in the morning. What does the future of rugby look like? Is there any more clarity now than there was when we went to Level 4?

Yeah, a little bit. New Zealand Rugby and the Players Association are working really hard. I think they're having chats with the government shortly, so hopefully we'll find out a little bit more. Definitely when we get to level two, we'll find out a little bit

more. Really hopeful that we can get back playing at that level. But we'll see. Because over the course of a year, with all the international rugby, domestic and the super rugby, you'd clock up some travel miles. Have you thought about the fact that you're not going to be getting on a plane to go overseas anytime soon?

Look, if there's been one positive, it's been enjoying this time at home. I haven't spent so much time at home in literally years. But yeah, looking forward, I can't say I'm travelling overseas much at all in the future. One positive, I suppose, is maybe teams will come out here because as a country, we've got it under control. But what they could do is stay in a hotel for two weeks prior to it.

It'll be like being an all-black captain in the early 1900s. You could get on a sailboat or a steamship and go to England. Lose a couple of players to dysentery on the boat on the way there and just have plenty of reserves. Yeah. Who knows? We don't know what the future holds, but I'm really hopeful,

and a lot of people are really hopeful that definitely by the end of the year, hopefully we can get more Blacks team on the park and maybe get a test series against Australia or something. It could be really good, I'm just spitballing and thinking here, it could be really good for Pacific Island rugby, doesn't it? Because they've not been able to go to England and face the likes

of England or Japan or France or Italy. There might be more chances for the Fijian team, the Samoan team, the Tongan team to get involved in a bit of higher end rugby. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, if we're thinking practically, it's probably Australia and the islands

which are closest to us and have this whole thing under control, it's most likely that those are the borders that I'd open up first. So that'd be pretty cool. And has there been a lot of, you know, to avoid that feeling of isolation, has there been a lot of chat between the All Blacks? Like have you guys all been keeping in touch, having any Zoom meetings or anything?

No, it's funny because at this stage of the season, we're in our Super Rugby team. Oh, right, yeah. And during this time, you're tight with your Super Rugby team and you sort of build a little bit of hatred with those other teams. There is plenty of different calls in there because there's a few player working groups that are looking at different competitions

and all sorts of different calls. And there's a few player working groups that are looking at different competitions and all sorts of different things. So you're on calls with a few of the boys. Yeah. Yeah. Well, one thing we've got to know is because we were very impressed, Kieran Reid came in during his time as All Blacks captain and we asked him if he wanted a coffee

and he said he wanted a mochaccino. And we thought that was a great step for an All Blacks captain to openly order a predominantly chocolate milk drink with a smidge of caffeine and it really stuck with us. So we need to know, what's your coffee order? Should you ever come in studio, what do you have from the coffee shop? Nah, I'm a small flat white guy.

A small flat white? Yeah, I'm happy with the tulip size. Respect. Yeah. Six ounce. Like the tulip size. Oh, respect. Yeah. Six ounce. Like a little piccolo? No, six ounce. Nah, not a piccolo.

A little bit bigger. A little bit bigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Respect. Because if you're thinking, if you're having about three coffees a day and you're having the big ones, you'll be drinking, you know, at least half a litre of milk.

Yeah. Yeah. True. Right, okay. Okay, well, good to know. Good to know. Right, okay. Well, well, good to know. Good to know. Right, okay. Well, we'll know for next time when all this lifts and you can come in for a proper face-to-face.

If I come in and you guys have a coffee sitting there without asking for my order, I'll be I will remember you want a small flat white and a six-ounce tulip cup. I'll remember. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, but what milk? Full milk? Skim milk? True. Full'll remember. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So what milk? Full milk? Skim milk?

Trim. Full milk. Full milk. Good. Imagine the day when an All Blacks captain can openly say they drink soy milk.

What a bloody day that will be. What a day. Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps. Sam Kane, thank you so much

for taking the time to talk to us this morning. Congratulations on becoming the All Blacks captain. And yeah, all the best for the season whenever that happens. Thanks, guys. Thanks for having me on.

Appreciate it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Today, the briefing at one o'clock, we're going to hear more details about what Level 2 is going to look like. And then I'm guessing we'll hear when maybe a decision is coming on going into Level 2. Hopefully, the Prime Minister joins us tomorrow on the show at 10 to 8 after that press conference today for a chit-chat.

Yeah. Yesterday we did the family exercise thing. Okay. We popped down to the local park because it's an area the girls can ride their bikes on. Yeah. Special footpaths for that. So we were down there.

We'd only just begun. The girls were on their bikes. Indy was in front of me. I was running with a dog. Did they have training wheels? Nope. Okay, when did you get your training wheels off? I'm just trying, because I... No, that's a fair call,

because August is of that age where if... Because there's some kids that maybe don't have a bike accessible until they're a bit older. But Indy could ride a bike, because it's your first, and you put a bit more effort in. Yeah.

Some brutal honesty there. Or it's your second one, you're just like, wow, you tell me when you want the training wheels off. Yeah. But when Indy was five, we put a lot of effort into teaching her to ride, and then I remember once she rode 14,

she rode her little bike, as like this little tot. Yeah. Alongside me, I went on a 14K run. Two things about this are amazing. I could like this little tot. Yeah. Alongside me, I went on a 14K run. Two things about this are amazing. I could run 14Ks. Yeah.

Which is mind-blowing to consider now. And she, yeah, she rode the whole way, no stopping, on this little bike with no gears. Yeah. What? Is that child abuse? No, she loved it. Really?

Oh, my God. It's horrible. It's a long way. But, yeah, August has been a little bit slower. Plus she doesn't have the, the Indy's quite persistent. Like she's like, oh yeah,

I'll keep going. But August is like, eh. Yeah, she's, she's my spirit animal. I have this horrible memory of my training wheels coming off

and going into a rose bush. That's why, that's just why, what made me ask. The first time your training wheels came off, you hit a rose bush. I just remember it. Yeah.

Horrible. Me and bikes it. Yeah, horrible. Me and bikes have never had good memories. No. Well, August was very concerned. At home, on the road by our house, you go down the hill and there's a creek at the bottom of the hill. And she's like, I'm going to walk down the hill every time

because I'm going to end up in that creek. I think about it too much. Yeah. So we're biking. They're biking. I'm running. I've got a dog. And then I hear ba-dumph.

And there's been a crash. But I know it's not only because she's in front of me. I'm running. I've got a dog. And then I hear ba-doomph. And there's been a crash. But I know something because she's in front of me. I turned around and August is, you know when your handlebars go down on the ground and your legs are kind of in the frame of it? Yeah. She landed straight down on her hands. And you know when you kind of like skin your hands and it feels like they're burning? I turn around and there's the usual drama. I don't know where she gets it from.

She is you in a small female body. The usual full three-act play of, I'm never riding my bike again. Dramatic situation. And a woman was walking the other way. Yeah. And she said, because I was a little bit in front because I was running and I turned around

and I saw that she was on the ground. And the woman, because I was a little bit in front because I was running and I turned around and I saw that she was on the ground and the woman walking the other way was like, are you okay? And went like towards her to help her. And we've been talking about like when we go down there, whenever there's somebody else in the footpath, they give them a big wide berth, a two metre thing we've got to stand so they don't wobble. And August stopped crying and looked at her and just started like backing

away in terror. Now, not because she's scared of strangers or she thought this woman looked terrifying or anything, but we've drilled into them so much about how if we don't know people, we can't get too close to them. She was backing away and the lady's like, it's okay, it's okay. And August is just terrified, backing away from her. My bubble.

My bubble. And I got back there and I was like, she's fine. Thanks for stopping. She'll be all right. And then as the lady went away, August was like, she almost breached my bubble. And then the whole rigmarole. So dramatic.

Later on when we got home and everything had calmed down, she came out from the bath and she walked into the kitchen, she stood there with her hands on the hips, looked at me. I was like, are you all right? And she's like, I just remembered, what was that lady thinking? I could have COVID-19.

I was like, I think she assumed that you're a kid and you're out on your bike with your family so you don't have COVID-19. She doesn't know. She doesn't. Pretty good from a five-year-old. The ones that probably Are following the rules More hard line

Than a lot of us When it comes to Seems more into it Than Mike Hosking Yeah Oh no yeah No What all this is doing

Is listening to the professionals Not thinking that she knows Better than them Ah yeah Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is that researchers at the SLAC, which is at Stanford University. SLAC. So the S probably stands for Stanford. Stanford. There are lasers involved. The SLAC University. The Stanford Laser Club.

Awesome Club. Awesome Club. What have you got? You got slacklining, didn't you? Did you get slacklining? Small Liberal Arts College Oh, that's better Small Liberal Arts College?

What have they got lasers for? I don't know No, that can't be right Because why not? Stanford Law Associate Cool dudes National Accelerated Laboratory Stanford University No, that can't be right. Because why not? The Stanford Law Associate. Cool dudes. National Accelerator Laboratory, Stanford University.

Yes. Oh. Yes. That doesn't say what SLAC means. What SLAC stands for. It is the National Accelerator Laboratory. Yeah. It was originally named Stanford Linear Accelerator Center.

Right. Hence SLAC, but is now the National Accelerator Lab. Based at Stanford University. Yes. Well, they created an underwater sound so loud that it instantly vaporised the water. So it boiled the water. Like underwater.

Gone, yeah. Wow. They'd made it in water. They used powerful X-ray lasers to blast tiny jets of water with short pulses of a high-frequency energy, so a sound.

When they hit the microscopic stream of water, it vaporised the water molecules around them, like you know when a drip of water hits a really hot pan with oil in it? Yeah. And it goes, and it's gone because the oil is so much hotter than water can be at liquid temperature, so when it hits it instantly vaporises it., and it's gone because the oil is so much hotter than water can be at liquid temperature.

So when it hits, it instantly vaporizes it. Megan. Could you use that for spearfishing? Go onto the water and be like. Jesus, Clark Gayford, that's. Is that just going to vaporize the fish? No, this is like super tiny and in completely controlled laboratory.

No, but I'm saying. Laboratory conditions. Could you do that though? Megan's right. Can you weaponize this one? I can't see why anything can't be weaponized. But I know, super tiny. It was at 125 frames per second.

And I'm watching it one frame at a time. And it just basically expands out and then disappears, vaporizes. Underwater vaporizing. That's insane when you think about it, isn't it? Yeah. So they could shoot an X-ray so that when it, yeah. Yeah. When it was underwater, but it went to a certain point in the water

and instantly vaporized that water. So you might be thinking, Vaughn, how loud is this sound if you were to compare it to something that we would be able to understand? Yep. Well, I can tell you that the sound pressure equivalent is 270 decibels.

Okay. Which is louder than a rocket launch if you were standing right beside it and equal to the intensity of directing all the electrical power in an entire city into one spot. So the sounds associated with jet planes go between 120 and 140 decibels. And decibels, I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, is like the Richter scale.

Like the difference between one and two on the Richter scale is half the difference between two and three, right? So every number it goes up, it increases exponentially, not just a straight scale. So 270 decibels. If you were to experience that sound, earplugs wouldn't help as it would rut your eardrums and probably your heart and lungs as well. Oh, wow. So it could be weaponized. Yes. Yeah.

By the sounds of it. Oh, Lord. As long as you could use it could be weaponized. Yes. Yeah. By the sounds of it. Oh, Lord. As long as you could use an X-ray to shoot far away. Just put it into a cassette player, press play in the city. Not quite how it works, but. And then the sound goes off. And it explodes the city. And it explodes the city.

But you're out of town. Because it was on a cassette tape. Well, no, but someone's going to have to press the button. No, no, no, no. But it's on a cassette tape. And you remember how they were 30 minutes on each side? Yep, yep. It's at 29 minutes and 59 seconds.

So it's the last thing before the tape flips over and goes back to the other side. Great idea. Yeah, right. And by that time... You're out. Allow for traffic. Yeah. If you're going to use a cassette tape to commit a horrendous act of terrorism,

which is impossible because this was by x-rays. Yeah. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is scientists created a laser that made us expel energy in the form of sound waves so intense it vaporised water. Fact of the day, dayughan and Megan, the podcast. Vaughan and I experienced something yesterday

and we need the help of the tech department here at work. It was quite something, wasn't it, Vaughan? Yeah, it was. Should we get the tech representative on the phone first? We can run through the entire situation. They might not be aware of it. We're joined by the lovely Chris Bradley. Now, when we asked the

producers both who we needed to talk to about this, everybody said the lovely Chris Bradley. The lovely. It's even written in there as the lovely Chris Bradley. What would he be without his adjective? He'd be lovely, but he must be known as the lovely Chris Bradley. LCB.

Yeah, LCB. Good morning, lovely Chris Bradley. Good morning. First of all, you've got many fans in this corner of the building. Everybody speaks so lovely of you. We said someone needs to pay, sort of jest and jest, and all the producers said, we shan't let you poo-poo the fantastic name and the brand

that is the lovely Chris Bradley. We won't have a bad word said. So, many fans. Wow, that's very nice. We do need your help, Chris, because yesterday after the show, I actually used the bathroom first and I came out, didn't I? You warned me.

I warned you. I warned Vaughn. I said, Vaughn, I don't know what first and I came out, didn't I? You warned me. I warned you. I warned Vaughn. I said, Vaughn, I don't know what's happening in there, but it sounds like someone's either giving birth or in pain. Having been at two births, it doesn't smell like that. No. No. So maybe the noise, if we were to use all of our senses,

it sounded like a giving of birth. It smelled nothing like a giving of birth. And then you came out and you said, good lord, you were right. Yes, I was. That was something else to hear. Now, was it years ago, maybe Chris, correct me if I'm wrong, perhaps before your time, Jason PJ put a lot of effort

into getting speakers installed in the bathrooms. Because Jason couldn't do any kind of function without, in silence. Yes, without a musical mask. Now, I don't know if it's a lockdown situation, but we have noticed there's been no music in the toilets lately. Toilet FM is gone. Yeah.

Yeah, that was actually something that I was asked to do, was to turn off the music in the toilets. Oh, my God. Is it a cost-saving measure? I'm not sure. It came from facilities, so it might actually be facilities that you need to talk to here.

But I mean, look, lovely Chris Bradley, surely if we ask, are we above facilities? No. We're on a billboard, Chris. We're on a billboard. You are on a billboard.

Speaking of not today, actually the billboard was not working. Also put that on your to-do list, lovely Chris Bradley. The billboard is not working. It says, oh, snap, something went wrong, and then there's the mouse cursor. Is that you or is that faculties, facilities? Sorry, I didn't catch what that was.

The billboard outside is not working. It says, oh, snap, something went wrong. Okay, all right. That's also my area. That's, ah, snap. Yeah. Something went wrong. Okay. All right. That's also my area. That's you too. Lovely Chris Bradley. Well, you've got a few things to work on today.

Yeah. No, I'll have a look at that one. Well, yeah, the music, it sounds, it just seems a bit silly. Was it Joe Riddell that arseholed the music in the toilets? Was it Joe? Oh, I don't want to put names out there. I don't want to put names out there. You know that Joe, who's in charge of...

Tap the desk once if it was Joe. He's so lovely and he's throwing no one under the bus. He is truly, he deserves the moniker of the lovely... Yeah, with a gun to his head. Chris, I mean, is there any way that you can just, like, make an executive decision? Can we get Bogsy? Would Bogsy, if Bogsy said yes, would you do it?

Oh, absolutely. Bogsy's the CEO. Get Bogsy on. Do you have Bogsy's number? No, Bogsy's got no time for the shenanigans. He's a busy man. He'll be fine. What else is he doing?

He's at home like the rest of us. Do we have Bogsy's phone number? Yeah, we'll get him on the phone. So if Bogsy says yes to CEO, you'll do it, Chris. You'll go above facilities. Yep, I'll do it. I like this. This is an absolute power play.

We are to win. We just have to wait because Anya has to ring. She's going to have to say, look, Bogsy. She's sweating. She's sweating now. Now, I'm loving this, but what about everybody at home who's got their own business to run they're loving this too

because they love the inside work they love a little peek behind the scenes okay I believe she's got no she hasn't got Bogsie

we don't have Bogsie she's trying what number did you try why wouldn't you have tried the mobile first always try the mobile what do you have

as direct lines mobile number do you not have Bogsies I've got Bogsies I'm sorry if there's a landline and a mobile. Yeah, I'm going to text him right now. I'll be like, pick up your phone.

You're such a brown noser. It sounds corny. You are the worst. If you saw the way I speak to him, you wouldn't say I'm a brown noser. You'd say like. You should be fired. Can you bring him from your cell phone? Should I bring him from my cell phone?

Oh my God. And put it on speakerphone. Oh, I'm actually a little bit worried about this because we've got like this bit of a lads group. What if he answers with some... You and the CEO have a lads group. Like he calls you by your nickname. Yeah, I'll be like, Bogsy.

He'll be like, Smuddy. Why is this taking you so long? And then we'll be like, Bogsy. It's because... Smuddy. Anya's calling from a no number. He won't be picking up. What are you doing?

Why can't I find his number on my contacts? Did you say that's Bogsy? Oh, that's why. Stand by. Yeah, I said it was Bogsy. Oh, my God. What were you searching, Michael? No, yeah, I was.

It's just Bogsy. I don't know. I'll call him on the speaker. Oh, my God. I need to distance myself from this. Oh, I'll give them a pretty... He'll probably be like, smithy. Smithy.

Smithy. I don't know if he will. Did you give him a heads up at all? No, I didn't. He's not answering. See? Busy. Am I being screened? I think you are. Oh, I didn't. Okay. Well, I know. Okay.

Well, Chris, it looks like we've got another day of no music in the toilets. Yeah, I'll see what I can do. I forgot you were still waiting. God, you're lovely. Just waiting there while we just... Why are you just waiting so politely and nicely, guys? He might be this company's loveliest employee after me. See, he's even letting me have that.

Okay, he's the loveliest. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. My sheep have just had their pre-winter... Sheer. Sheer. That might seem madness.

Now, is that when they listen to Cher and her top hits? Yes. Do you remember concerts? You bloody love that Cher concert, don't you? Oh, my God, did I want. That was so fascinating. Never seen Vaughan so excited at a concert. It was really, really great.

I was told why sheep can be shorn before winter. You'd think more in the summer months. They get a big Cher. They get a big share. Yeah. They get a big share. In November, I think they got a big share. Like a number one. They got some skinheads.

Now they do it like a number four. So I think, yeah, I think it's too, I don't know, it helps in some manner of speaking. But you're right, because wouldn't you want a big coat? You wouldn't want dags going into winter, would you? How would you feel, Megan Pappas, if you had some dags going into winter? You'd have to go to Off and On pretty quick, actually, when they open back up to laser.

Oh, God. I've seen some things, but have they seen dags, like proper dags? I don't think I'd inflict them. You'd hope not. So anyway, that was meant to happen yesterday, but due to delays and everything, and you can't be anywhere near them. Global warming. Yeah, you can't be anywhere near them. Global warming? Yeah, you can't be there.

Vets and such are allowed to operate in level three, but obviously we couldn't be anywhere near them. But anyway, I got a call saying we've been delayed. It'll happen tomorrow. I said, that's absolutely fine. They said, it's all done. This check came through just before. Here's the invoice.

Now, the invoice breaks down. Right. The costs. It says sharing normal sheep, four for the quantity. Now, I've got six sheep. So what do the other two fall into? Two sheep, XXL sheep. Ouch.

Now, it costs $5 to share a normal sheep. Yep. Oh, that's so cheap. I know. It costs $10 to share an XXL sheep. And what would an XL sheep be? Well, I don't know because I would have thought one of those sheep would have been an XL. Yeah, right. Before moving on to an XXL.

Yeah, but no. Because they're all pretty, pretty fat. Yeah, yeah. But I've been, I feel real mean because, you know, like you leave them somewhere and they eat the grass down and stuff,

but you look at them and you're like, you're pretty fat. You don't need much more grass. I think you're all right in this paddock where there's still something to eat. Yeah.

And you go out there and they come up to you and they're like, meh, meh, meh, meh. And they look at you like, where's all the food? And so I'm like, all right,

I'll go get you some hay. How do you know that's what they're saying? They could just be like, hey, pat me. Nah, because they're not about pats unless they want something. The sheep. Right. The goats. Oh, yesterday.

Yep. Goat chat, just quickly. I was trying to get the cows out of the little, you know, the little paddock at my house. Yeah. I was trying to get the cows out of there. I had them in there because there was a whole lot of rotten Fijas. So I was like, you can eat the Fijas. Because they're fat too.

Why am I fat? Anyway, I opened the gate to get the cows out and the goats ran in. Wow. Then Harold pushed the gate open and got into the section and went straight for the Fijas. And I said, come here, Harold, you little bugger. And he jumped into the Fijoa tree. He was in

the Fijoa tree, stuck, eating Fijoas. And he could have just left in there and he just would have eaten himself sick. So, obviously I couldn't see the entire situation because I was in it, but I couldn't get into the Fijoa tree. You know what a Fijoa tree is like? Branches everywhere.

It's almost like shrubby bush like. I had to be climbing through I couldn't get into the feed jar tree. You know what a feed jar tree is like? Branches everywhere. Very thick. It's almost like shrubby bush-like. I had to be climbing through. The only part of the goat I could reach was his leg. So I had him by the leg and I'm pulling him out of the feed jar tree. Sade said she, her phone, she didn't have her phone on her, but she wished she had because it would have been the funniest thing she'd seen all week. And me trying to wrestle a goat out of a feed jar tree by the leg.

He's a pesky boy, but gosh, I love him to bits. Can we go home? I want to go see my animals. I miss them. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, lives here. ZM.