ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th October 2020

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

Most Popular Fantasies  Top 6: TikTok Resume  Producer Jared's Elevator Encounter  Joseph Parker!  Am I a Bad Person?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee. On the go! Yes, our producer Anya is in. Hello. What's happening? You got something to share that you didn't want to share on air? Live on the radio. Yeah. Because mum doesn't listen to the podcast, that's why.

And it's just not the kind of thing that I want follow up questions about. Okay. Something lols happened last night. Oh, juicy. Spicy. Yeah. So I needed to go to the chemist. Oh, spicy.

And this is an item that is going to remain anonymous. Okay. So leave that to your imagination. But it's an item that you have to get from... ECP. I'm not going to say what it was. Okay. It could be anything.

Leave that to your imagination. For the sake of this. Lou, now you can get that from the thing. I need prescription Lou, please. Oh my God, imagine, is prescription Lou real Loubie? Is there a thing? I just thought it would be like bulk. No, I don't need bulk Lou.

Serious question, can you get prescription Lou? Because it would be government, wouldn't it be government subsid lube Because it would be government Wouldn't it be government subsidised So it would be like cheap as I'm also so glad I've googled this Because it isn't going to get targeted advertising For lube for the next hour Nah there's not

Prescription The NHS does a Prescription lubricant Friend who's a doctor Actually you could ask your sister I I'm going to message my friend who's a doctor. Actually, you could ask your sister who's also a doctor. I am not going to message my sister and say, can you get prescription lube? It would be like when you get prescription Panadol or whatever,

and it's just like 500 tablets of the non-branded stuff. It's $5. It's cheap as. Okay, carry on. I'm just messaging. Okay, so I wasn't getting lube. For the sake of this Let's say I was Getting carrots

Okay you were Getting carrots From the pharmacy And lube What a weird combo So I didn't really Know where the carrots Were kept in the pharmacy

So I went in And I was kind of Strolling around You're in the wrong place That's the fruit and veg At least Say you do the Cough lozenges

Keep up with the medical No we're saying carrots We're committing to carrots. Okay. So I was kind of like roaming around. You know when you don't really want to ask someone, you just want someone to approach you, but no one's approaching you.

So you're like, yes, I do need new toenail clippers, actually. Let me just look at the price of all of these. Like milling around. Yeah. Someone comes up to me and she's like, you all good? And I was like, yeah, I'm just looking for some carrots. Right. She was like, oh, carrots.

Oh, I need to know what it it is and she said it back to me and we both shared this like ladies cahoots okay okay and then she turned around and went lisa have we got any carrots oh no back to all the people and i wanted to die um wow yeah everyone knew you were getting carrots everyone knew i was getting carrots and then it like there was some rummaging around for the carrots oh and it was probably like three minutes of cringe so you know what would make this story better as if we knew what you were yeah because i'm in my head i've got a couple of guesses but i don't even want to say them no yeah it's secret okay what time was it i'm not divulging any further details about what carrots it may be.

I reckon I know what it is. What do you reckon it is? Condoms. Wait, okay. How about we turn the mics off for a second and if Megan gets to say. No, I'm not saying it. If you get it right, I'll say yes or no. Okay.

I'll turn the mics off. Stand by. No, I don't. No. Who gets prescription condoms late at night? It wasn't a prescription. No, it wasn't a prescription. No, I just thought that you needed them late at night.

No, look, we're not talking about what it is. It's carrots. I'm putting carrots up your ass. What do you think it is? Very, very peculiar. Yeah. But it was obviously something that you wanted to keep on the down low, but old mate at the pharmacy is just like,

I see this shit every day, you can't shock me. Yeah. And turns around and blurts it out. Were there many other people in the pharmacy? Yeah. That's why I'm horrified. Good, good. Do they sell this thing at supermarkets?

Not to my knowledge. So not Vagisil. Ah, yeah. I don't eat Vagisil, guys. Yeah,asil. Oh, yeah. I don't eat Vegasil, guys. Yeah, that's not, um, yeah, yuck. Okay, thanks. ZM. Head music.

Lives here. Fleshform and Megan. The podcast. Are we good? We're good. We're good. Apologies for the technical difficulties in some parts of the country this morning There have been some behind the scenes

Clock changes And of course they never check them They never double check them What do we say Megan? Every time We'll change the clocks But we won't double check You've got to take my approach And just don't care

Ads are finished now News is finished now You've got to take my approach and just don't care. Ads are finished now. News is finished now. It's Vaughn time, baby. It's time to shine, guys. This is where we shine. Isn't it? All right.

Coming up on the show today, special guest joining us quarter past seven this morning, Joseph Parker. Yes. This morning. Yes, he's going to beat the shit out of somebody. It's fantastic. Well, he's going to going to beat the shit out of somebody. It's fantastic. Well, he's going to try to beat the shit out of somebody. Yeah. And he's not going to get told off by his mum for doing it.

It is an organised fight. Yeah. For a belt. Ta-da. It's happening on December 11. Merry Christmas. It's bruising and everything should have gone down by the time it gets to the family Christmas photo, right?

It blows my mind that someone would go back again after doing a fight because someone would punch me in the face and I'd be like, oh, nah. Take the money, no. No, no, no. Oh, that really hurt. What are you doing? I don't like this at all.

Right, we've got the top six coming up. Yep. Do you doing? I don't like this at all. It's over. Right. We've got the top six coming up. Yep. Do you remember? Hold on. It's in here somewhere. This is what happens when the ads play at the same time as the news. Oh, I was just saying, hey, God, check that thing. I thought you were saying, don't worry about it.

It's warm time. It's shine, baby. TikTok resumes. TikTok resumes. Yeah. Zedders, Gen Zedders, are putting their TikTok, their resumes on TikTok. I'm kind of a fan of that because do you get CVs for cafe work? Yeah.

Because do you find some of them are like long and... Boring. Yeah. Like imagine if it was a 15-second video. And it was catchy and sna video. And it was catchy and snappy. I'd be like, okay, yeah. You can get a lot of

personality through on that. But what if one came in and you're like, and Andy P's like, they're hired. And it's because they're like,

you know what I'm saying? He would know better. Yeah. He's a wise man. I've always said he's wise beyond his years. Do you think we should interview them? I don't better. Yeah. He's a wise man. I've always said he's wise beyond his years. Do you think we should interview them? I don't know.

He would approach cautiously at least. Yeah. They might be really good with customers. The customers might really like them. Call some repeat business. So you're the... Are you pooing? Megan and I are having a bit of back and forth

and I'm getting you in my ear when the producer talks in your ear you're supposed to just carry on like you didn't even hear it you know like

broadcasting professionals what did she say she said that next on the show we've got the fantasies I could have told you that I could have told you that

the top fantasies by gender well I hadn't told everybody what the top six was the top six features. The top six features of a good TikTok resume. It's a great start to the show. Very professional.

So organized. Yep. ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. This is an interesting article. Onbuy.com. Don't know what they do. Let me have a look.

Like buy something or bisexual. On buy. Buy something. Okay. Weird. Well, I mean, you can buy things there, but there's also articles. Oh, weird. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So anyway, they did a survey on the most popular sexual fantasies by gender. Okay. Okay. So anyway, they did a survey on the most popular sexual fantasies by gender. Okay. So men, they separated it only by men and women. Yep. But it'd be so interesting to have this so that you could go by age. Yep.

You know, like there'd be a whole lot of different categories you could break it down by. So you can find out what your parents are into. I mean, I wasn't going to go to parents. I was just going to think people of different age could look into what potential partners could be into. So the most popular sexual fantasies among women of their list, the lowest ranking is at 7%. And that's writing fan fiction for a partner.

That's the lowest that we don't want to do. That would be like Megan writing fan fiction for Mr. Toyboy. Yeah, about like Megan the magician and Andrew the illusionist. And then the cougars come into the cafe

and hit on him. No, it's fan fiction. They can be whatever they want. No, but then Megan fights the cougars. Fights them off her man. With magic. Yeah. Well, just above that at 8% is using flavoured lube.

So everything you're about to hear, women would rather do than use flavoured lube. So just think about that next time you're in charge of purchasing lubrication and you're thinking, maybe I'll get the strawberry flavoured one. I've always wondered what the point of that is. Yeah. Right.

So watching adult content with your partner, just above that. Sex on the beach, 10%. Sand gets everywhere. It seems like a good idea. It's nobody's friend. Yeah. You're picking that out of your gooch for months. It is amazing, eh? You'll be like

A week later, you'll be like There's a bit of sand there Is it? Ever had sand That's been there for a week In your ear canal? No You don't even throw in sand at you

You take a tumble on the sand You get sand in your ear canal That stuff just falls out forever Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm still getting bits of fungal mitar out from 97 Bringing in a third party. So 12% of women's sexual fantasies. Like to an electrician.

So women would rather bring in a third party than use flavoured lube. Wow. Or have sex on the beach. Their sexual fantasies. So now above a threesome is sex in a car. Okay. Not, again, like theesome is sex in a car. Okay. Again, like the beach, seems like a good idea. What kind of car have you got? You need a very roomy station wagon.

Phone sex is 14. 16% have said can I say a little bit of like fixie. Yeah, a little bit of choke. Oh, okay. Yep, right.

Choke play. Bondage at 18. A sexy photo shoot at 20%. Oh, okay. No, that's way down. I would have thought that would have been well down. Absolutely not. But then people have lots of sexy photo shoots, don't they?

You feel so sexy in the moment. And then I can just imagine seeing pictures. You're like, oh no. Oh yeah, delete these. 24% said role playing. 26% sex in a lift. In a lift? In a lift.

So a lift is above a car and a beach. Right. You're doing emergency stop, right? Yeah, you're like. That wasn't the sound of the alarm bell. That was my foreplay on the lift. Just above sex in a lift, sex in a jacuzzi. Again.

Yuck. Pushes water into places that water shouldn't go. Like that's when I accidentally sat on the jet and it went straight up my bum. But always keep your togs on. It's another one that doesn't seem like a great idea. And the number one amongst surveyed women for their sexual fantasies

is blindfold. That's easy. You can do that at home with a tea towel. Get a clean one out of the drawer. Don't use a wet one that you've just used to do the dishes. Although I reckon above blindfold, speaking of the use of a tea towel, your partner doing the dishes must be at least 50% of what woman's sexual fantasy. Sure, yeah.

But different for men. I'll just go over the top ranking ones for them. Interestingly enough, at the bottom, sex with food. So involving food is right at the bottom. Okay. And couples toys, right at the bottom. And one night stands, right at the bottom. Okay. And couples toys, right at the bottom. And one night stands, right at the bottom. Right.

It'd actually be interesting, Fletch, if you were to ding a bell every time I mentioned one of these and you'd done it. Megan, slide me the bell. I'll ding on his behalf. Why not? Simply from what I know about my best friend. Sex or food?

No. When do I have sex? Like, I might have been eating While having sex Let's see you deny this one One night stand Fair ding This is

You didn't do this for Megan Couples Toys Go back and do the Couples No Go back and do the dings for Megan She'd be dinging all the time

I haven't done any of those things Sex in a car Sex in a work car. Just give you a double bell for that one. Ooh! No! Have I ridden in that car? Long live the PT Cruiser.

Oh, no. It's all right. Okay, you. I've forgotten about that. I don't... I never forget. Backdoor. Backdoor.

Bondage. Watching adult videos with a partner. Sex on a balcony. I know for a fact. That Dunedin spot. Remember? How are you there for so many of these intimate moments? I was in the room next door. The cable car motel.

This is absolute slander. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. This is defamation. There's only defamation if you can prove it wrong. And it's not true. Make a sex tape. Role play. Sex in a public toilet.

Oh, no. No, yuck. Please say no. Why are you being asked that hygienically? Bar toilet, though. No. Oh, no. Please say no. I don't think you're against that hygienically. Bar toilet, though. No. Oh, come on. Take that one back.

The disabled toilet, the outback in Hamilton. Sex in a jacuzzi? No. Oh, yeah. Video call sex. Video call sex ranks very highly for men. We'll give you one of these. Does it count if Fletch is covering

his laptop camera with a post-it note? And bringing in a third party, bringing in a fourth party, bringing in a fifth party, bringing in a sixth party. What a load of rubbish. I feel attacked.

I feel broke. I feel viciously attacked You'll be hearing from my lawyer Now we know why you're so busy all the time And time Are we all going to the Cook Islands For Christmas then? That seems to be the consensus The latest talk isn't it Of the next travel bubble

The Cook Islands Prime Minister says he Expects quarantine free travel With New Zealand to be in place by December Quarantine free But would we need to Quarantine when we come back though Nah because I remember When we got all excited about the

Travel bubble talk before the last lockdown Before we Came back and ravaged us when we got all excited about the travel bubble talk before the last lockdown before we came back and ravaged us they were talking about they've divided the airport into arrivals and departures so you can't mingle. Yeah.

Not that you could anyway, could you? But they've made it extra vigilant. Extra separated. So he has also said once New Zealand had gone 28 days without community transmission, the two countries would be in a position to initiate this. It's such a tricky virus. So would you want to book a Christmas holiday

if they said, okay, you can go this December, January? Would you book now? I don't think I would. What's the vibe on refunds and... Unless, yeah, the airfare and the accommodation was... Everything was refundable. Refundable up to 24 hours before I'd do it. Maybe with like a small part of it being a non-refundable booking fee.

A tiny, tiny part. Tiny. I'd be willing to... It'd be like going to the TAB and putting some money on the Warriors. You're never going to see that money again, but you had a little bit of fun while you were doing it. So in July, we were like, we were quite far down the track

and like confirming or like talking about a travel bubble. It felt like we were only like days away. Yeah. A week, you know, a week or so away. I just, I was thinking more of the Cook Islands. Like, what if, like, asymptomatic people went over there? And, like, what if someone from New Zealand took it over there? Yeah, well, that's why it's been closed.

It could be devastating for, like, for them. Oh, yeah, it'd be shocking. Just because we want a, like, summery holiday. It'd be shocking because it's not... Equipped. Yeah, it's definitely not equipped. You're right. And that's like, we were lucky here.

The numbers got so out of control that our hospitals were never swamped. But, you know. We went to the hospital in Rarotonga. Didn't remember we scooted up that road? There were chickens outside. It is. A chicken walkout. They should take you up there when you're doing your scooter license.

As their best reason to wear a helmet when you're scootering around Rarotonga. Yeah. Because you wouldn't want to be stuck up there with a brain injury. And yeah, they're not equipped

to deal with, I wouldn't imagine. Serious illness. Would they have a ventilator there? Yeah, I don't know. I reckon they'd have one of those things

they're like clear. Definitely one of those. Defibrillator. Defibrillator. I thought you were saying their ventilator would be like an old bellows, you know, that blacksmiths used to get their fire going with. You literally can't stop.

No, someone's got to keep it going. Yeah, you'd feel terrible if you draped it over there. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, Megan, you're normally, Christmas shopping-wise, you're normally well into it by now. I kick into it in October which

snuck up on me a little bit what did we do it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas yesterday it was 79 so 78 days

today until Christmas yeah New Zealand Post have come out and said that because of COVID this year if you're sending

and there'll be a lot I'm imagining because like a lot of people are stranded overseas family wise there'll be a lot of sending Christmas packages and presents because people aren't going to be able to come home for Christmas, are they?

I wonder if we'll see a boom of people returning two weeks before Christmas to do the isolation thing to then get to spend Christmas with their family and then stay on from there. Yeah, but have you seen the news stories? People can't book into a quarantine facility because they're booked out. So maybe not.

Wow. So if you are sending overseas, New Zealand Post have come out and said that the deadlines, because you know they always come out and say, you've got to post by this date for it to get there by Christmas. They've changed those and brought them forward a little bit. So if you're sending overseas Australia, November 30 is the cut-off date

if you want it to be there by Christmas. Courier, December 7, and Express Courier is December 14. And you know those, when you're paying for Express Air overseas is like a million dollars. How long do you have to send? That's almost a month before,

like in November. Month and a half. Yeah, November 30. Oh yeah, about a month before, like in November. Month and a half. Yeah, November 30. Oh, yeah, about a month. It was five weeks. Rest of the world, November 25. That got less impressive, by the way. It did, eh?

It did, yeah. You made it sound like it was way out, and then you were like, oh, five weeks. I did that thing where I, yeah. Less than five weeks. Because five times seven is 35. Yeah, okay. Less than four weeks.

Rest of the world, very similar. November 25 for just your standard ear and courier December 2nd. And for you shop, oh, that's for the people that don't worry about that. I'm not plugging their services. But yeah, basically get onto it. And yeah, for New Zealand, just posting around New Zealand for family, post and parcels December 21 and courier December 23. So it's a couple of days before for Courier, so you're pretty good there.

That's rough. What? Courier's going to be run off their bloody feet on Christmas Eve. I thought you were going to say that, but they always are. That's just how they work. Yeah, I know, but they don't need to. They should be doing it a few days out. They should be saying if you want to be guaranteed courier delivery,

it's got to be December 17th. Well, you've been baited, Megan. Executive intern, aren't you? You're all over this Christmas shopping. Yeah, dog. Two down, four to go on the Christmas present front. You've got six presents. Yep.

Who's this for? Mum. Mum, dad. Sister. Sister. Sister's fiance. Well, he doesn't need one, does he? He doesn't need one.

What does he need one for? He's part of the family. Yeah, he's part of the family. No, he doesn't need one. He doesn't use her gift. No. Yeah, it's a joint. Guys, we've been doing this for like three years.

I can't suddenly be like, I have actually decided you're not getting one this year. That's why you shouldn't have started. You shouldn't have started. He didn't come to Christchurch last week to hang out with us for an hour. Why? He's not important enough.

He was on the overnight shit at the hospital. Chuck a sickie and come see us. Oh, my God. And mum, dad, Andy, Soph, and yeah, five. I can't count. Five. Oh, and my sister's birthday on New Year's Eve. Join up that gift.

Be used to it. It's smart, though, especially this year, like, with a pinch, you know? Yeah, got to get... To spread out the expenses over multiple paydays. Yeah. You can say that. It's good stuff. You know, the pinch.

Brother-in-law's not getting one, because, you know... Oh, COVID. Oh, the pinch. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is The Top Six.

Hello there. Welcome to The Top Six. Dealing with TikTok resumes today. These are people who put their resumes in the form of TikTok. TikTok videos. Here's an example. I've got one here, Fletch, if you can feed me some sound. This is a young lady, F-F-I-O-N, Jurno. So maybe Jurno or maybe she's not from an English-speaking country.

I don't know. Let's see. We just make sense. I'm creative and a really hard worker. I even spent my lockdown co-founding this group, Women in Germanism, and I support it. And I've organised and hosted sold-out Zoom workshops, like this one. I just finished an MA in Broadcast Journalism at one of the UK's best journalism.

That's cool. Yeah, I like it. I kind of like it. See, she shouldn't have used the song in the background. No, it was too distracting. It was hard to hear. See, we're good at this. Yep, I'm not giving her the job because of that. We could critique these TikTok.

Thanks to your application. Use an instrumental version of that song. Of the song. So we recognise that it is indeed a popular song. But I... Without the lyrics. If you talk to anyone that, you know, advertises jobs, you get all these CVs and links for LinkedIn

and all this rubbish. But imagine that, just one 10 second TikTok. I like it. Snappy. Her TikTok was longer, but still, I mean, it was 44 seconds

versus five pages of stuff you don't need to know. So today's top six, the top six features of a killer TikTok resume. Okay. Number six, your sick dance moves

to a song that your parents used to love in the 80s. Because then you've got your sick dance moves showing off your youth, but then you like a song from the 80s, so it shows that you're an old soul. That's intergenerational pleasing. You don't seem too young. And they might love that song too. Bingo.

Bingo. Number five on the list of the top six features of a killer TikTok resume, the best light settings on your ring light. You've really got to learn if you look better in the harsher blue light or a warmer glove or more orange light. You've got to learn your lights. What are you?

You're blue, eh? I'm this. Okay, you like both. I can go either way. A warm, cheery glow or a hard, harsh, arctic blue. Number four on the list of the top six features of a killer TikTok resume are that old video of you doing the bottle flip challenge

on YouTube so they know that you're just not some flash in the pan when it comes to internet. You've been there for a while. You've been there. You're OG, man. Maybe even if you did the ice bucket challenge. Yep. Get that in there.

Put on one of your planks. Yeah. Put on one of your planks from the early days. Yeah. Why not? Number three on the list of the top six features of a killer TikTok resume. Have things in the background that make people think, how did they afford that?

Whose house is this? Is this their parents' house? Did their parents buy this? Who is this person? Why do they want to work here? They're hired. See, what you've done there is you've created mystery about your situation. And mystery is very

magnetic. So you're saying film your TikTok resume at a rich person's friend? Yeah, a rich person's house. Yeah, but in the background, draw attention to the art. Let the art speak for itself. Be mysterious about it. Play it down. Number two on the list of the top six

features of a killer TikTok resume. Your best-looking friend should make an appearance at some stage. No, but then they'll show... What? How ugly you are. No, it's not to make you look bad. It's to make employees think that you're capable of things out of your league. Oh, right.

This person strives to have the best-looking friends. Yep, okay. And number one on the list of the top six features of a killer TikTok resume. Make sure they know about that time that David Dubrook liked one of your videos. Okay. Did you just search someone there? Did you just search a famous TikToker? Yeah, I thought so.

Have you heard of this guy? What does he look like? Just your average guy? Oh, no. Seen him? No. He gave away like five Teslas the other day. What? I don't know, Megan.

I don't know how it's happening. He lives in this like insanely nice house. Does he have another job? Is he just doing TikTok? He's a mystery. Wow. And I want to hire him. Did he actually give away?

Because, you know, I see all these people giving away things and I'm like, how do you even know you're doing it? Yeah, he had one of the girls coming to pick it up. Oh, really? And she was like, wow. And he gave away like, wow. Are you being told who he is?

Oh no, I just had a flash about the Auckland Harbour Bridge, but it's open. All lanes are open. All lanes are open. Can you please take off those bloody watches because it interrupts the show. But that could have been important. I thought Mountie at the social media news desk could have let us know who David Dubrook is.

Do you know who David Dubrook is? I haven't seen him on. You've heard of him? Mm-hmm. You're fired. She's heard of him at the social media desk. She's heard of him. She needs to know more about him

Well how did he get those Teslas? He doesn't spread to Elon I don't know I mean you could Google this Yeah I know He's one of those people That I've seen I started following him

When someone talked about him But all I see is Mysterious shit like I'm giving away five Teslas And I'm like What? Okay today I launch my investigation into who he is.

That is today's top six. Jared had a run in an elevator this morning and not the elevator at our work. No, a popular casino venue. We won't say the name. In Auckland. I'm just trying to work out which one it could be It could be any of them

It could be any of the ten What time was this? This was at about Just before 5am this morning So I was walking to the lift Through the car park And I saw to my left A rather sketchy looking dude

But to be fair everyone at that time looks a bit sketchy it's a sketchy time it's a sketchy time of day everyone's thinking what is everyone doing awake yeah why are you here I'm driving to work

I'm like no cars and then I see another car I'm like criminal what are you doing obviously a criminal so I swan into the elevator

and he like hops in behind me yeah and we're probably in there for about 10 seconds and he looks the elevator and he hops in behind me. And we're probably in there for about 10 seconds and he looks at me and he goes, do you want to buy some weed? You've got that look. Yeah, you do have that look. I'm wearing a hoodie, so yeah, fair.

You're awake at this time. Ah, a hoodie. You must smoke weed. So, you know, I was just kind of like, no, sorry. No, I'm all right, actually. Pretty early. Yeah. Or late.

No, but see, yeah, early for you, but late for other people might be perfect. Yeah, he didn't look like he'd slept. Right. Yeah. Well, now, is he going up with you? See, the thing is, we were on a very low level of the car park, so quite far underground. Oh, this could be any casino. And he only went up one level.

Yeah. He only went up one level. He went up one. Do you think he was just walking around trying to sell people weed? Yeah. In the car park. Definitely. Weird.

What a weird place to sell. Like, you'd think there'd be hardly anyone around that time of the morning. Yeah. Maybe it's his, like, busy hour. Dude. Yeah, it's his posse. And was it awkward when you said no? Or we don't even know you said no? I said no.

Okay, good. He looked a bit dejected. Right, okay. He wasn't used to people in the casino car park at five o'clock in the morning saying no to drugs. Yeah, new experience for all of us. Did he click the next level before you said no or after? Yeah.

Before I said no. So I think it was his plan. Like maybe he spotted me from across the car park and he was like, oh yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. Tailed me in. I would have loved to know if you'd said yes, if he'd been like, hop out of this level or

do the whole transaction in the lift or take the money and go up to the Cassie, try to double it on red or black. But there's no ATMs down there, so couldn't even find... Unless you're carrying cash, you'd have to find one. Yeah, I'm a radio producer, I'm not carrying cash. Which is safe for you when you're walking in casino car parks in the morning. Is he still there? I'll go back and have a look.

We'll do a live cross, eh? I'm just like... Did you tell anyone? Did you tell the Cassie people? No, I told you guys, but I didn't see any security and I'm not a narc. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah.

Stitches get stitches. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Two out of three Americans admit that this is a relationship deal breaker. Voting for Trump. Probably be half or 60%. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they weren't asked that, but maybe.

It was whether you are good in bed. So if you're bad in bed, it is a deal breaker. Would that be the same here, roughly, do you think? There's still a lot of people that are putting up with bad in bed-ness. Yeah. I reckon the result would be

higher for men than it would be for women. Explain. Because women put up with a lot of bad in bed-ness. So you're saying the guy thinks it's great and he's getting what he wants. If the guy says it's bad, then they're like, oh, I'm out.

But the girl would be like, okay, we can work on this because it's probably not the first time I've had a bad experience. I don't think it can be bad if you're a guy, can it? I don't know. Just from my experience. I've enjoyed it every single time. That's a red flag, isn't it? Every time.

Yeah, right. Yeah. So, yeah, 68% believe that having unsatisfying relations is a total deal breaker. And we'll, yeah, call it off. But it's a work in progress, right? It's like the first time you've got to find your groove as a couple. I mean, you might give them a couple of chances,

but if there's no spark there, why would you? Yeah. I mean, you don't hit diamonds every time you mine. Yeah, that's true. You have to dig quite deep. But if you've done the geological study and there's absolutely no chance that there's diamonds in this hot swamp. Then you can let men in to find the diamonds down the elevator to deep below the ground.

No, but I'm saying there's no point digging in a swamp for diamonds because you're not going to find them. So if you think it looks good, but then you go there and it's a marshy bog. Okay. There's no diamonds, so you don't go in, you know. Right. No further. Here's another interesting point. So they found that 18% of women fake it, whereas 16% of men do.

Really? How? How? And is it that bad that a guy's like, oh, I'm just, let's go get dinner or something? They pretend to finish and then they're like, okay, that was great. I didn't know that,

I didn't know that guys did that. You thought that you were the only one that could fake it. Hello? It's 2020, Megan. We can all do that. Everybody can fake it. Everybody can fake it.

But like, why? It's just that awful. They're like, tap out. Be bored, just bored, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Well, maybe they're just not enjoying it because of some other thing, maybe like bad breath or something.

I don't know. Again, I can't speak from experience. Because you've had fun every time, haven't you? I've enjoyed it every year. All ten times, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. What? Is that not many times? Oh, no.

Sorry. No, I wasn't laughing at that. Once a year. Been married ten years. So that's once a? Oh, no. Sorry. No, I wasn't laughing at that. I was... Once a year. Been married 10 years. So that's once a year for my birthday. Yeah. That's how that works, isn't it? Right.

It's what everybody does, isn't it? Yep, it is. Good. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. It is happening on the 11th of December. This very year.

Spark Arena. It's Stonewood Homes, Parker vs. Farr, and we're joined in studio by Joseph Parker. Good morning. Good morning, good morning. There it is. Do you, I'm just saying, Stonewood Homes, do they like chuck a pamphlet in front of you

and like pick one? Yeah. Yes. That was how we did the deal. Yes. Yes. That's, I don't know, that's going to incur some sort of tax situation, I'm sure.

But hey, you get free time. That's good. Sort that out later. Because Richard McCord did the garages and he got a garage. All I'm saying is. Did he actually get a garage? He did. He put his glider in it.

Okay. Good. Remember? No, just me. Okay. Right. Fighting. It's what you do.

But you also also you've been right into the social media content lately oh yeah stay in your lane mate oh whoa whoa

whoa too early to fight this morning so how did you get into that that was just a bit of a lockdown there was nothing

else to do really yeah yeah right I mean I spent time with family train and then do some videos to uplift spirits and have some fun.

Yeah. And, you know, shake my booty. How on earth during lockdown do you stay motivated to, like, keep fit and train? I'm actually a lot more motivated now than I was before I was champion, when I was champion. So I trained twice a day, and my goal is to be champion of the world again, and I'm going to smash anyone in front of me to get to that goal.

I mean, I wouldn't say. I am motivated. What does your training look like twice a day? When in the day does it happen? Morning and evening. Right. And it consists of strength work, TRX, running, boxing, punching a bag, pads, a lot of skipping. Do you eat lots?

I don't think so. Really? But my stomach says otherwise. As a heavyweight, we should be eating a lot. But when I'm in camp, I think when you train, your stomach shrinks. Right. What about fight day? What do you, how close to, is there rules for like what you can eat and how close to the fight and everything?

The thing about boxing is you do, the rules are yours. You can do whatever you want. Right. So fight day, you know, everyone has has a different pattern I'll wake up and have breakfast go for a walk play video games and card games

and I always win I think because I am quite good at the games or maybe they're boosting my confidence I don't know yeah they're letting you win so they don't want to beat you

on fight day and then the most important part will be the nap or sleep how long is a nap? before it becomes a sleep 20 minutes okay so it's a long sleep then.

Okay, a long sleep. Three hours of sleeping and then when we get to the stadium that's when we sort of switch on and it's all relaxed. We play music in the back dancing, telling jokes, having fun. It's not until we get into the ring

that we're serious. I was going to say, how do you sleep? Like with that on the horizon if you had something massive in the evening, sleep in must be... Just get your friend to knock you out. Right. Now, when it comes to,

I'm not very good with all the technical terms. Is it the weigh-in or something? The weigh-in, yeah, yeah. When you stand there. Right in front of each other? Yeah. And like, what do you, how do you psych each other out? Like, what do you choose to do?

You just stare him in the eye. Yeah, he was like petting his mo and like what? It wasn't that impressive to be honest. Mine's better. What is the

intention when you're like staring into each other's eyes? He's sort of just trying to see like he's sort of see who's tougher he really

and whoever looks away first is you know weak. Yeah right. Who's the best who's the best weigh-in of all the weigh-ins you've had for your professional fights?

Who's been the best, like, whole night one time? Probably Joshua. Right. But probably the most awkward would be White, Dillian White. Because he started nosing me with his nose and then his belly touched my belly. And it was sort of back and forth. It was not.

And then we were both sweating so it wasn't it was not good do you need a moment Megan I mean awkward for you yeah so this is actually

pretty cool because there's going to be a crowd there and there's been so much sport international sport massive fights

you know like the UFC other boxing that's been happening empty crowd. All behind closed doors, right? So I think this will be awesome to be fighting in New Zealand and have a crowd.

And you feed off the crowd, obviously. Because during the boxing, you're obviously focused on the task, but do the crowd, like, influence you? Oh, definitely. When they're cheering, I mean, when you hear them cheering, it definitely gives you a boost. But with this fight, the crowd will be split. A lot of people cheering for him, cheering for me,

cheering for each other. It'll be good. Wow. Hopefully we have a big, packed-out stadium. That's what we want. Have you been out on the town and people have asked you to hit them? Do people do that?

Oh, yeah, many times. That's so crazy. Or just wanting to get in a fight with you to see if they can beat you. So you hit me and then, oh,

wait, wait, okay, hit me. Oh, wait. Okay, really?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, at me. It's so weird. Have you ever punched that ball that they, you know, time out, you pull down that ball and you crack it? Oh yeah, I broke it. Did you? Yes! In my story

I broke it. Punched it through the back and it knocked the time out. Well, tickets go on sale tomorrow morning at 9am from Ticketmaster. It's happening Spark Arena, the Stonewood Homes Parker vs. Farr on the 11th of December. You can get all the details at ZM online.

And if you text FIGHT to 9696, you can go to the draw to win a double pass. All right. Good luck, Joseph Parker. See you guys there. All right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Sorry, I shook Joseph Parker's hand. I think he just hurt my thumb a little bit with his grippy hand.

His big hand. I don't want that thing clenched coming out. No, absolutely not. His hand just swallowed my thumb a little bit with his grippy handshake. It was a big, big grippy handshake. I wouldn't want that thing clenched coming out. No, absolutely not. His hand just swallowed my hand. I'm out in round one after that handshake. I'm just out. Just at the introduction. Yeah, pretty much. Not a good fight. You'd be like,

ow. Call it off. Call it off. Last night the leaders were asked, was it a leader debate? Yeah, the press. Yeah, the press stuff leaders debate. And they were asked. Different prices of grocery items, milk. This is a thing a lot of celebrities on talk shows and stuff get asked this

because they want to see how out of touch these people are. Yeah, are they doing their own shopping? How much is two litres of milk at the supermarket? $4.50. No, $6. At both New World and Countdown today, it was $3.40. Judith Collins is like, my servants are pocketing my chain And I

No reason No wonder I'm not Paying them a living wage She came in so hot though And confident $9 Yeah Are you familiar with

Judas Collins This is kind of her MO She comes in hot And confident Even when she doesn't know What's going on They asked her at one stage What kind of car she had

And she's like Oh it's a car with petrol. Oh, my God. And then they were like, no, what brand? Because they wanted to, like, know if she was for electric cars, and she said, I drive a BMW. Right. You just see the crowd go, ooh, do ya? Do ya?

That New Zealand thing, like, where have you got a BMW? Yeah, I don't know. Some, like, banged out old ute. A Toyota Corolla, yeah. It's a diesel. Kind of diesel. It's a bloody ute, mate. It got a BMW? Yeah, I don't know. Some like banged out old ute. A Toyota Corolla, yeah. It's a diesel. Kind of diesel. It's a bloody ute, mate. It's a Toyota Hilux.

It's been going hard since 84. Well, we thought, how hard can it be to guess supermarket grocery items? This is, because I'm very competitive, I don't want to lose. But also, it depends on the supermarket. It depends on the week because it could be on special. True. Well, I don't know the price of things. I always just like, for example, milk.

I would look and be like, which one's the cheapest? Same. And then just grab that. Yes. Same. So I don't know the price, but I would be able to point out the cheapest brand. Yeah. That one.

That milk that's two for $6. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, exactly. Well, Executive Intern Anya joins us as Quizmaster. Good morning. Good morning. We've selected some supermarket items, and we've got to correctly guess the price.

Yes. And play along at home. Yes. Now, there's some bougie items and some non-bougie items in here. And comparing supermarkets, the two of the big dogs, the difference was never more than 40 cents. So that's not an excuse. No, I shan't have any excuses.

Thank you. Shall we start with item number one? A 12 pack of luxury three-ply toilet rolls. What brand? Passio? Paceo? That's the one we get! I get that one! Is it $8? Is it the long roll? Is it the long roll?

Because that's $8.50 for the long roll. $8. We're talking long roll. $8.50. Long roll. 12 pack of long roll. 12 pack of long roll. No, it was an 8 pack of long roll.

No, 9 because it's 3, 3, 3. Isn't it? No, it's 4 and 2. No, no, no. Luxury three-ply long toilet rolls, 12 pack. Oh, I get a Paceo long, and that's always $8.50. Okay, $8.50. Fletch, Megan, locking in.

Don't copy me. You have no idea. $8.00. I'm going to say $10.00. Fletch is correct. $8.50. Isn't that close? Isn't that a 12-pack?

Isn't it the equivalent of a 12-pack over eight rolls? Yeah, because it's four. It's two rows of four. Yeah, you're right. Okay, next. I know my cheap toilet paper. Ask my wife every time I bring it home. That's not the cheap one.

The two-ply is the cheap one. I said cheap, not bloody sandpaper. I don't wipe this delicate a noose with two-ply. I don't get up at four in the morning to wipe my ass with two ply. Oh my goodness. And item number two, chicken nuggets. Now this is a home brand or no brand

edition. Okay. Chicken nuggets. Like a KG of chicken nuggets. I'm not buying processed food from a supermarket freezer. Oh piss off. How much? The game is that you tell me. processed food from a supermarket freezer. Oh, piss off. Who doesn't love a bit of turkey?

How much? $10 for a KG. The game is that you tell me. How many in the pack? It's a KG. Oh, I didn't know it was a KG. Is it a KG? Yeah, it's a KG.

Oh my God, how many times do I have to say it? I literally have a 50 pack. You can get them for $10. Like $10.99 if you're on Spish. But you said homegrown, right? Yep.

I'd say, no, I'm going to say $9. $50. Vaughan? I'm, yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep, I'm going to say $9.50. Mullen? I'm, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I don't buy anything from the freezer section apart from ice cream. Okay, bitch.

Well, bully for you. Yeah, my kids live on these. I should know that. Oh, yeah. So do my kids. Do you want an answer? That would be great. You're talking about Andrew, Mr. Toy Boy.

If he's a good boy, he gets a little nug nugs. I'm going to go for, what did you say? I'm going to 950. Or did you go 950? I said 1099. Okay, I'm going to go 950. Okay, Fletch and Bourne correct 950 for a no brand chicken nugget. Yeah, Megan.

Okay. This is the one in the studio that actually buys them. Organic cotton regular tampons. Oh, my God. $40. Can you hit me with a brand? You can't put a price on that. Organic initiative.

Yeah. Organic cotton. Oh, oi. The oi ones. Yeah. How many in a pack? Do you say regular? I'm going to say like 12 to 16.

It's now a time to say they should be free. I was just about to say I'm about to show my ignorance and say like $3, but I know it's going to be more, but it shouldn't be. The thing is, I always buy the same brand because you get used to your own brand and you don't, it just is the price. Do you know what I mean? You need them. It is the price.

How much are your own brand? I don't know and I mean? You need them. It is the price. How much are your home brand? I'm not looking at them. $17. I'm saying $40. I'm locking in $40. You're talking a pack of 16. Pack of 16 regular tampons. Tampons.

Are they like six bucks? Come on, Megan. Six bucks? Okay, lock it in. $6. $5.29. I'm way out. Okay. I'm way out. Okay.

The guy that's never bought tampons. Indomie instant noodles in a five pack. Oh, $2.49. Yeah, it wouldn't be much. It'd be $3. A five pack. My father-in-law lives on these. $3. $3. five pack. Mm-hmm. My father-in-law lives on these. If we're talking semantics. $3.

I actually want to see it. I guess. I said $3.50. Vaughan is the closest. $3.30. Whoop, whoop. Alrighty. We're pretty close.

Yeah. Okay. And finally, a kilo of loose courgettes. Oh. At the moment. Is it like $12.99 a kilo or something with deco? Yeah, they've come down from whatgettes. Oh, at the moment. Like $12.99 a kilo or something with Dicco? Yeah, they've come down from what they were. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, $13. How much are you saying for a kilo? A kilo. Just a lot of courgette. What did you say, $13? $13. Oh, at the moment. $11.99.

Because it got up to $27, didn't it? We said that at the same time, so we're both into $11.99. You guys are both way out. We're talking 6.50. Have they come down? Yeah. It's because we're getting the courgettes back from overseas, right? Oh.

Are they allowed in with COVID? Overseas courgettes. They have to do two weeks at Rotorua. At the Sudema. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day.

Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

My best friend has just planted herself a garden. She's pretty proud of it. Like an outside garden. So not like plant babies inside. It's very grown up.

This is next level. She's planted a bunch of lavender out her front door. I want to get some lavender. Lavender? Is it 80? No, it smells nice. It's a good like edging situation. And yeah, I do sound 80, don't I?

You do sound 80. The bees love it. It is the most important thing. She wanted to support the bees. Brings the bees in. They pollinate everything else you got going on. Right. It's a hot play. It's was, she wanted to support the bees. Brings the bees in, they pollinate everything else you've got going on. Right. It's a hot play.

It's a honey trap. And it's literally. Like actually. It's my honey trap. Yeah. And it's really hardy, so like you can't stuff it up. Fletch. Maybe you should try an indoor lavender plant.

I've got another plant dying at the moment. I'm down to like four plants in the house. And that's it. When they're gone, I'm not bothering again. Fake plants. There's some very good fake plants in the market. And that's it. When they're gone I'm not bothering again. Fake plants. There's some very good fake plants in the garden. I don't know. So I knew she'd planted the lavender but this is a new one

to me yesterday. She has set a regular alarm to water the lavender. But it's outside. Nature does it. Well when it's freshly planted you want to make sure that it's like rooted itself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting a regular watering. I'm the same with my veggie garden at the moment. Oh, my God. Can you set yourself an alarm? No, but I should because I did forget one day. Yeah, right. And the broccoli looked a little thirsty.

But why do you think it's weird that she set a daily alarm? Because I love setting alarms for things. This is an ongoing alarm to remind herself to water her lavender. What is it, regularity, like once a day? Yeah. Every day, repeat every day from henceforth? I don't. I'm not an alarm setter.

You're a big reminder guy. I'm a big reminder. Five or six times a morning. A little pop up on your. Sorry, remind me. It pops up on your phone and you can't, until you actually click into it and press completed, it always stays

on your home screen. So it's like a to-do list on your home screen and you don't forget, I don't forget anything. So I'll just be like, hey Siri, remind me to take that out of the fridge in the morning. You set up all of them here. Sorry. Every single person

has just had it added to their list. Take that out of the fridge. But that's on my shopping list. Sorry. But I do that and it's honestly foolproof and you don't forget any,

I don't forget anything and I'll have weekly reminders or if I needed like, you know, you need to take a vitamin or a pill or whatever, you take, you need to take a vitamin or a pill or whatever, you just set a reminder. I love it.

I don't know what it is, but I just have the type of brain where I remember tasks for each day. I never set reminders. You see, I can remember something that happened to me in 1989 and I can remember every birthday of every person I've ever met, but I cannot remember if I have to do something in 10 minutes time. In fact, you set a calendar reminder in our work calendars yesterday and we're all just like, what's wrong with Vaughn?

What's wrong with Vaughn? It was amazing. He's never this organised. Sometimes I'll be like, okay, like with example watering. I don't want anyone to think I'm blowing Auckland's water or I've got my own water, so don't worry about me. But I'll be like, start the countdown timer from 10 minutes. And then I'll go about doing something else.

And then the alarm will go off and I'll look at it and I'll be like, what is that for? Oh, my God. And I'll be like, oh, God. Should you be taking some omega-3 oils or something? I don't know. For your memory? It's a weird wiring I've got going on.

And then I'll walk around and I'll see like a sprinkler on or a hose on. I'll be like, that may have been it. Oh, my gosh. And then it's five o'clock. I was like, oh, my God, it was picking the kids up from school. Well, I want to know. It's not something I do, but I thought it was super cute that she had a lavender watering alarm. What do you set alarms or reminders for other than getting up in the morning?

Have you got like a cute little daily or weekly reminder that's different to everyone else? Like, call your parents. Yeah, maybe like once a week you've got to call Nana. Because you can forget and weeks could pass. Yeah, or maybe you're like Vaughan and you need

reminders for everything in your life every minute of the day. I tell you what you don't do is you don't, because I went through turn off all my notifications ages ago and you can turn off the reminders notification. So I had all these notifications. I had all these reminders and Fletcher's like, bloody

hell. Because I think I actually went into your phone and set a reminder for you to bring some camping gear and you were like, you'd forgot. The reminder never went off. That happened like four times and people were accusing me of lying. I was like, I'm not lying, but it turns out I turned off the notification. So when I did turn them back on, oh boy.

Yeah, right. Boy, did I get some reminders. I would like to know if you have a reminder for something. A daily reminder. My friend's got a daily reminder to water her lavender. She's just planted. It's good you've got to establish those roots. I'm loving hearing from all of these organised people

that have the reminders and alarms for everything. Or is it that they're unorganised and they forget? It's totally that they're horrendously unorganised forgetful people. That's the situation.

Right, Alicia, what do you have a reminder set for? Well, I should have been anonymous, not sharing my name. Oh, okay. Anonymous,

what do you have a reminder for? That's what we said, anonymous Shisha. Oh, okay. Anonymous. What do you have on your board? That's what we said. Anonymous Shisha. Yeah. Everything at work. And that is after I have twice,

I'm an early childhood teacher, and so I'm flitting here, there, and everywhere, and twice I've flooded my workplace from trying to remember that I'm filling up a jug of water.

It's overflowed and created a great learning experience for the children to jump into. Can you say you've done that twice? Yeah. Don't jugs only take like five seconds to fill? Yes, but toddlers. Toddlers are over there and I have to run over.

So now when you start filling the jug, you see the reminder to turn the jug in what, a minute? Yes, I've got my Fitbit, so I set a little alarm. Lots of short ones throughout the day. Remember, I'm boiling eggs because there's been an incident with that too. I'm a great, I am a great teacher. You can trust me with your children, I swear.

Brilliant, I swear. Brilliant. I love it. Alicia, thanks. We're talking about what you've got reminders for or like regular alarms, like at a certain time every day you get an alarm saying, don't forget to... There are some pretty cute and funny stories coming through.

I thought we'd have so many more of these, but from what I can see on the text machine, just the one. A daily reminder alarm to take the contraceptive pill. Oh, yeah. I just would have thought lots of people would have had that. Maybe even their regular morning alarm would be named that.

Right. Just to tell you what we've had absolutely heaps of. People having to remind themselves that they have children that need picking up. Oh, how many poor Timmies have been left at daycare or outside school waiting? Because the alarm didn't go off. I've got a reminder to pick my son up from Cubs.

Somebody else said I've got a reminder to pick my daughter up from daycare because when I went back to work, I'd just get lost in my work and I'd forget and I'd have to rush there or pay when you stay over your time. You have to pay. Well, yeah, you pay for a certain amount of hours.

So then if you go over and that means a staff member can't go home, you have to stay on because you can only have so many kids per staff member that have got to pay that staff member. Do they not just leave them at the end of the driveway? Leave Timmy with the key and be like, I lock up.

You lock up when you don't need Timmy. Shut the door behind you. I'm doing a swim in a turtle tank. Well, Timmy, it's your time now, mate. You do, you make yourself at home, mate. Amber, what do you have an alarm set for? I have a daily reminder for like 6 o'clock in the evening to take meat out of the freezer for dinner the next morning

because I always forget. And Vaughan's got a look on his face. I forgot to get the meat out of the freezer last night. You need a reminder, like Amber. I do, I do. This is a product because I will sometimes get the meat out of the freezer last night. You need a reminder. Like Amber. I do, I do. This is a product because I will sometimes do the freezer meat and then, yeah, I always forget and then I'm like, oh, well, I'll just have to get takeaways.

Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I've forgotten. So I now have a reminder. And so with the reminder, you never forget now. That's perfect. That is a great idea. Amber, thanks for your call. Chanel, what do you have a reminder for? I have a reminder to brush my dog's teeth at 7.45pm every day.

Oh, that's cutting into some primetime TV and Netflix watching, though. It's a good time because I've had my dinner. Misty's had her dinner. And it's before I'm getting ready for bed. I just leave Leo's toothbrush out. But then for bed. I have my, I just leave Leo's toothbrush out, but then by the time I see it, I'm like, oh, I can't move. Wait a minute. How often are you guys brushing your dog's teeth?

I try to do it as often as possible. Helps their breath. What about you, Chanel? Well, Misty's unfortunately lost a few teeth, so I'm just trying to save the last two that's left. Oh. Do you have a little doggy toothbrush? Yeah, yeah.

It's a little finger toothbrush. You put toothpaste on it and it's poultry flavour. Oh, cute. Poultry flavour. Does that come from humans? I like chicken flavoured toothpaste. Yeah. Has it got fluoride in it?

I don't know, but she doesn't mind it. Wow. You can save Misty's taste. Yeah. Chanel, thanks for your call. Someone said, I get a daily reminder it's time to do my pelvic floor exercise. Wow. So they do the kegels.

Okay. It's a little kegel reminder. Because you can do that just sitting, can't you? Yeah. But it's one of those things you'll forget about. So you could just, are you doing them now? Yeah. Me too.

Flint, are you doing your kegels? Yep. What did you do that face for? Is that? You don't have to. No, it's just a. Okay, right. You don't have to do

the face. How hard are you squeezing? What are you squeezing? Well, I want tight kegels. Of course you do. A woman of your age

needs to start thinking about it quite seriously, doesn't she? So there you go. Lots of people with daily alarms and reminders. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan there you go. Lots of people with daily alarms and reminders. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Am I a bad person? All right. This is a juicy love triangle. And we need you to listen to this correspondence, this email that we've received, and then give your opinion. Not too out there, though.

I think some people might have been in this situation before. Okay. I've deleted names just because I didn't want identifying all the names were included. Amateur mistake. Okay. So I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off straight away.

There was an instant connection and we've been hanging out a lot recently. I don't mean to sound too dramatic but I think he might be the one. He is everything I've ever wanted in a guy and more. I really, really like him. Okay, we get it. Yeah, yeah. Wow, yeah.

Go on about this guy. It's great. God, I'm in love with him now. Didn't take long, did it? I fall hard. I get the vibe that he feels the same way about me. I love spending time with him and I want to keep pursuing what we have, but there is a problem.

Okay. I used to sleep with his younger brother. I became friends with him when we were both at uni about four years ago. We were friends with benefits for about a year. Stop it, you two. I'm trying to concentrate. I'm glad I don't know. I'm glad I don't know what my brother's packing.

Because like what if you lost? You'd be like, oh, how is that happening? It's like we're both bald. My brother and I are both bald. So like that's good because if I was bald but he wasn't, but I grow a better beard than him but I don't want to know what he's packing. Genetically, wouldn't you be

similar? Yeah, but he's blonde and I'm not and I've got darker features. No, what I'm saying is genetically, if you're saying that we should be similar, we should be similar in all aspects. I'm taller, bigger feet. Most of us have seen it. And my wife just has a slightly more satisfied glint in her eye.

Does your brother listen to the podcast? I don't think so. I'm going to tell him to. I think we're too left-wing fam. Okay, back to this. We were both friends with benefits for about a year. We were always sneaking out of our flats to hook up. Our friends knew about it and would tease us both for it,

but it never led to anything serious, and I called it off at about the one-year mark. Okay. We would never even hang out sober. It was always just drunk, meaningless, on a Friday night or Saturday night. Fast forward four years, and I'm now literally in love with his older brother.

He knows that I knew his brother at uni, but he doesn't know that we used to sleep together. I haven't seen the younger brother in years, Right. dramas between anyone or strain their brotherly relationship. And I also don't know if I could deal with the awkwardness and embarrassment of other people knowing, but I really like this guy. Right. What a predicament. My friend says it's crack up. I don't know what to do. So the question is, I really want to be with him,

but am I a bad person for not telling him that I've been with his younger brother? You're going to have to tell him eventually. And why not do it now in the fledgling stages? Because it's going to seem weirder, right? Like if something kicks off and you're two years in and... You end up at Christmas. And brother gets drunk and he's like,

so tell us who's got the bigger wang. Nana's like, now's not the time. And mum's like, please stop hiding. And then you're the one that ruined Christmas because you won't tell everyone whose wang was whose. You're already in too deep. Like the time was at the start to say, oh, by the way, this is quite funny. Don't be.

Maybe she could just say she just realised. I don't know. But, like, what if the guy that she really likes can't handle it? Yeah. No, because she really likes him. So even if she's lying, she can say, you're better. And it's a bigger wang. This is one of those scenarios where you let

it go on for ages so they fall deeply in love and then when it comes up... It's too late. It's called entrapment. When you're engaged to me. Yeah, it's too late now. Oh, by the way, sleep with your brother. What? Nothing. You can't get out now. We've paid the deposit for the wedding venue.

Bury them in admin. Yeah. The Vaughan Smith approach to a long-term relationship. She's not getting out now with a mortgage. Too much. God. Imagine the paperwork. That's what I say to her.

Happy anniversary, darling. Another year deeper. God, imagine the paperwork. It's a lot of admin. Because we both hate paperwork. All right. So 0800DARNS at end. We need you to answer the question.

Am I a bad person for not telling him that I've been with his younger brother? Sorry, did I miss how long had they been together? The younger brother? No, the current. The younger brother is just hookups. A few months, but they've hit it off. The relationship at the moment is two months deep. A few months.

And I think she could tell him now. Yeah. And the other one wasn't a relationship. It was just hookups. Also check if they're one of those brother, brother, brother that like each other. Yeah, whether that, yeah. What? Like siblings that get on.

Like siblings that get on and are close. Because if they're really close and they get on, then yes, that'll be an issue. But if not, don't worry about it. I think either way it's an issue. No, I think if they get on, it yes, that'll be an issue. But if not, don't worry about it. I think either way it's an issue. No, I think if they get on, it wouldn't be as big an issue because they'd want to see his brother happy. Right. Okay, well maybe you've been in this situation. What's

your advice? Even if you haven't been in this situation. Maybe you've been in a situation with friends. Although, again, that's different if it's a friend, isn't it? A really good friend. We're all very capable of judging, even if we haven't been in that situation. Am I a bad person? Alright, quick

recap. This girl has met this guy. They're a few months in. They've had it off. She is head over heels for this guy. Yeah. Then she finds out that his younger brother is who she used to be friends with benefits with at uni for a year. But no relationship.

Like not even friends. They don't talk now. They didn't hang out during the day sober or anything. It was just meaningless. But she's two months into this relationship. A few. We don't know if it's two. It could be three or four.

Really into him. But he doesn't know about the younger brother and the hooking up. So. Maybe he does. This is another possibility. He does, but he doesn't. He's just like, it's not a big deal. The brother might have told him,

but he doesn't want to bring it up. He doesn't want to embarrass her. All right, well, what should she do? Is she a bad person for not telling him? Anonymous, you've been in this situation. Similar situation, yes. Okay, and so what did you end up doing? So, met the brother first.

Yeah. Hung out with him for a bit. Not too serious again. Met the brother. Basically fell for the brother, and now we're married, and it's almost 20 years on. Wow, okay. You could say, because they're like

genetically linked, you'd be like, I liked you but there was something missing and then I met the brother and then it was like, oh, okay, complete package. Yeah, yeah, 100%. But wait, you jumped straight from one boat to another, right? You didn't float in the sea for a little bit beforehand? Not really.

Okay, and dipped your toe, you're like, see, I was in the water. So how long did it take for you to tell him that you'd been with his brother? Well, he, I mean, he, you know, because I was. Yeah, he knew. He knew. So he knew. Okay.

It was more the original brother that would have felt jilted, right? How long did he take to get over it? Oh, well, it's an issue because we haven't technically slept together. Right. Oh, okay. Okay. Right. Yeah. So what okay, okay. Right. So what do you reckon this person should do then?

Just tell them. Just go for it. Yeah. Just go for it. Oh, it's never anything. Sooner the better. Sooner the better. We need some 5G in that area.

God damn it. Yeah. Thanks for your call, Anonymous. Sam, what do you think? Is she a bad person? I don't know about now because it's really early on. Like, it's okay that she hasn't told him yet. Thanks, you call anonymous are Sam. What do you think is he is she a bad person? I Know But she needs to tell him like a set feel like the whole mature things down down be like hey I didn't tell you this before because I did but we had and like you'll get that and like, you know

I've been sleeping with your brother And then if he doesn't take it maturely he's not worth your damn time like yeah good call how soon do you can get to work on moving on past the useless

ass afterwards if he doesn't take it well you're saying it's like compound interest the longer she leaves it the more of an issue it's going to get

yeah then you're emotionally infested and then you have to dump her if he takes it like he's useless and then you just gotta that

you're chewed out far in and then you're heartbroken the whole thing. Just get it out of the way early and then that's a good character test for it. Nice. No, that's so well said. If you leave it, then you're just lying, aren't you? Yeah, great, Sam. Thanks, mate. Tim, what do you think? Bad person?

Oh, no, it's no issue at all. Okay. Me and my brother have been in this situation and it made us closer. Really? Yeah. So how did it go down? Oh, well, he met her first and I met her afterwards. And then, yeah, just all a good time. I feel like we should ask him.

Are you still with her or is this just short term? No, no, no, no. Okay. Short term. Okay. Also, I need to speak to Clint this afternoon. Okay. Oh, okay.

Well, this is off. He's on my Tinder profile and he's not helping me out. Oh, you put him on your Tinder profile. Yeah, right. And it's not drawing in the honeys. It's not the burly you were expecting. No, no, no. He's not bringing in the dogs, you know.

There might be a bigger issue there Tim But we'll transfer you through to them Brian and Clint We'll try and hold and put you straight through to them In six and a half hours time I did not know where that was going No neither Yeah that was off script

I was like uh oh what's Clint done now The ghosts of Christmas past Have come a knocking Alright some text messages. I've been in the same situation. Oh, I don't know what that acronym means. So I won't. Friends with benefits.

Oh, my God. That is so cute. What's that? Although you've never been on dating apps. I thought it meant four-wheeled front-wheel drive. I went front-wheel driving with a younger brother. It was a B instead of a D. Yeah.

Friends with benefits with a younger brother. I never told him. But if I did, I was going to tell him over a drink. Like, oh, yeah, like that time I slept with your brother. Ha, ha, ha. And then next topic real quick. Moving on. Tell him the event is no real big deal, but the secrecy behind it is.

Yeah. So there's this. Okay. And somebody else said, tell them during the Throes of Passion, just lean in and whisper in his ear, that's not how your brother does it. Or you do this better than your brother. I tell you what, don't tell your mum, but you're my favourite. Good times.

Good times. Front wheel driving with benefits, guys. Good luck with that one. Let us know if you're listening, anonymous. You've got the email to message back, though, because I need to find out how this goes down and who the better brother is. Because, you know, we're all wondering that.

I'll ask that in a follow-up question. We're all wondering that as well, aren't we? Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact is that I've got an audio accompaniment If you would please Yeah, absolutely Do you know what that is?

Ice cream truck Not a bad idea Not a bad because this... At the start, I thought it was the thing when you walk into the dairy. And it's like... Yeah. It's Beethoven's Fur Elise as a song. And you're right.

Some ice cream trucks in some countries do use this. But this is in Taiwan. Okay. And this is a garbage truck letting you know it's time to bring out your garbage. Oh, I love that. I know. So there to bring out your garbage. Oh, I love that. I know. So there's a reason for it. In the 70s and 80s, Taiwan, small island nation,

was just, there was rubbish everywhere. They had a real rubbish problem. It led to a horrendous amount of rodents, mosquitoes. They just weren't having great hygiene and it was all linked back to garbage because people would just chuck their garbage on the side of the road and hope that it would find its way into a rubbish truck. The public bins would overflow.

So they decided the way that they were going to deal with this is they had a garbage never touches the ground policy. And that garbage truck comes past, it goes past every house five nights a week. Now the five nights are different. There'll be two nights of the week where you don't hear that song. You hear that song coming, it's time to take your garbage in its little bag, walk downstairs and put

it in the garbage truck and then go back upstairs. You've got to take your garbage to the garbage truck. You can't leave your garbage truck. And that's why it comes five nights a week. Because it doesn't suit everybody to be one day having to be home at that exact time when it goes by. But if it goes by five nights a week, chances are.

And now with the technology, because this came in in the late 2000s. Okay. So now the technology is such that it will send an alert to your phone saying garbage truck five minutes away. Oh, wow. And you'll have time to get your stuff and take it down and throw it in. So the song was to alert people that the garbage truck was coming and it was time to bring it down. Now behind the garbage truck

follows another truck. Doesn't it play a song? It just... Santa. Comes off the other one. It's the recycling truck. Oh okay. Now recycling is free. It has to be sorted. It has to be pre-sorted. So your clear plastics and all your different triangles with numbers in it. It has to be sorted. It has to be pre-sorted. Yeah. So your clear plastics and all your different, you know,

your triangles with the numbers in it. Yeah. That has to be sorted. It's free. However, the garbage is expensive. Okay. So it encourages people to not just dump everything in their bag and chuck it in the garbage truck.

To recycle. So recycling's free. Well, I'd just put, like, my leftover mints in the recycling bottle. They wouldn't know. I know because there's somebody on there and there's also video cameras on the truck that if you blatantly break a recycling rule first time's a warning second time they'll put you on their on facebook page and the government rubbish mints to name and shame you in a bottle yeah as well as they've just got like a

garbage shaming okay if you just dump garbage on the street. So it drastically reduced the amount of trash. Yeah. So for every household per day, the rubbish was over a kg. Yeah. It was 1.2 kgs. And now the trash, because everything,

the recycling is being sorted out, is under half a kg. Oh, wow. So they've drastically reduced the amount and hugely increased their recycling. And because the recycling is sorted when it gets to the recycling station, it's a far cheaper process to actually recycle the plastics and the recyclables. Okay.

That's really smart. Yeah, it's really cool. And I've obviously completely got rid of the problem of rats because nobody's garbage is ever on the street, and mosquitoes and everything as well, as well as giving them a big... Do they take all their recycling and just dump it in Thames? No, that's the New Zealand way. Okay, right.

God, there's so many old mineshafts that need filling up in Thames. And you might be wondering why they used, for release, the Beethoven song. Yep. Because apparently the guy in charge of it was like, what noise would draw people?

Like, what grabs the attention? And his daughter was practising that song on the piano. Oh, wow. And he was like, noise would draw people like what grabs the attention and his daughter was practicing that song on the piano and I was like that's grating and there was no royalties on it because it was such an old song that didn't have to pay anybody that became the song. So today's fact of the day is in Taiwan the rubbish truck plays a song to let you know

it's time to get down and chuck out your rubbish Fact of the day day day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We were looking at an article just before the show started today about celebrities dressing like their kids and how parents dressing like their kids is going to be like a trend. It's on the rise, this trend.

Yeah, there's been some Kardashian influence on it. Some sports people, some, you know, some big names. Because quite often parents will dress their twins the same or if they've got like a couple of young girls or young boys they might dress. Do you guys ever? Nah. The girls. Didn't you guys do a family denim jacket stay photo?

Oh, we were just going out. We all had denim jackets. Okay. So we all looked. Yeah, but that wasn't intentional. Right. The girls like dressing the same. They've got like Taylor Swift shirts that are the same.

So they'll put those on at the same time. Right. And dress the same. But no, I don't have it. Taylor Swift didn't come in my size. So'll put those on at the same time. Right. And dress the same. But no, I don't have a Taylor Swift. It didn't come in my size, so I missed out on that. Family uniform. But we were saying how silly it is.

It's not silly. Having a bit of a roast. And then Megan's like, well, I'll be doing the same for Lawrence and Mr. Toy Boy. Do you know, I heard you say yesterday, you've already started buying stuff matching for Andrew and Mr. Toyboy. Do you know I heard you say yesterday you've already started buying stuff matching for Andrew and Lorenz. So for the sake of this banter, we'll call him Lorenz. We're wearing it out, ladies and gentlemen.

Megan won't tell us the name. It's not going to be Lorenz. You said that we're not going to like it. Ominous, ominous. So Andrew already has a jersey and I spotted one that was exactly the same in a mini size. What's a girl to do? Of course I bought it. And so, they're going to wear them at the same time and I'm going to make an effort

to get the matching clothes. I think it's cute. I think it's cute. What's the problem with it? I just think it's weird Because either someone's wearing Adults clothes Or someone's wearing kids clothes No they both

It's very rarely they meet in the middle They were both from Respective stores Right The same store Is it a onesie? No No it's just a jersey

It's like a knitted jersey. Right. They're exactly the same. Same brand? No, different. They just happen to be the same? They happen to be the same, yeah. Okay.

But we'd already decided that we were going to make a concerted effort to do this. If you'd had a girl, would you have... Probably. ...been fallen on the dress the same sort? I think it's cute. Hasn't everyone been telling you not to spend too much money on clothes? Oh, yeah, blah, blah. People tell me lots of things.

Because they grow out. Yeah, and they don't use half the stuff. Yeah. Well, yeah. I don't need judgment. They're going to have a photo shoot now. Yeah, obviously. That's what I was going to say, and I was like, don't say it.

You're going to get a roasting. It'll be like a photo shoot. And then that nice clip. Just put this on for mum. You put it on, you take the nice photo, and then you was like, don't say it. Yeah. You're going to get a roasting. It'd be like a photo shoot. And then that nice clean. Like, just put this off for mum. No, just put it on. You take the nice photo and then you're like, well, this is nice. We can't wear this around the house.

And then you put it back in the drawer and then you clean out the drawer and you pull it out and now they're six months older. So they have like 18 sizes bigger in clothes and you're like, that was just a waste of money. No, because they got the picture.

Perfectly worth it then. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. This came out a couple of days ago in Britain. There was, there's a sketch show called Spitting Image, and it's satirical. It deals with politics and everything, and they took aim, but like a real light aim. Like, I don't really feel like anybody was wildly offended by it.

It's all puppets. Yeah. It's pretty amazing. At New Zealand and Jacinda Ardern, who was playing a Mary Poppins type character to get rid of COVID-19 from New Zealand. I mean, it came across as pure jealousy. I mean, she had a machine gun at the end, didn't she?

If anything else. Yeah, to keep COVID away. But right at the start of it, it's setting a scene of what's supposed to be like a New Zealand cafe. You can only tell that because it's got New Zealand flags hanging out. Everything else could be anywhere, and I'm guessing these are puppets used in previous sketches for sort of white nationalities.

But this is at the very start of it. What a fantastic day in New Zealand. Meat pies, ginger crunch, and a positive balance of trade with China. Now, the thing that people have got caught on is that meat pie is sure kind of known for a high positive trade balance with China or whatever, but Ginger Crunch, people... Do you think one of the writers came to New Zealand once and was just in awe? Man, there's a Ginger Crunch in every bakery.

Yeah. But I didn't think we were famous for Ginger Crunch or that we... came to New Zealand once it was just in awe man there's a ginger crunch in every bakery yeah but I didn't think we were famous for ginger crunch or that we like I love a ginger crunch me too I love a ginger crunch

but you think of like every cafe you go to that usually there's some form of ginger sliced yeah and I will always

judge it by how thick the icing is I didn't know that that was just in New Zealand I assumed everywhere in the world would have ginger crunch, lolly cake, caramel slice, custard square.

Although I've got a feeling custard squares are quite kiwi. I thought lolly cake was quite kiwi. Yeah, lolly cake is as well. I would have thought lolly cake and custard square would have been more kiwi than ginger crunch or ginger slice. Yeah, same. But somebody's obviously come to New Zealand on a holiday and noticed that we love ginger crunch.

I mean, I'm not mad at it. I do love ginger crunch. Do you have it at your cafe? Yeah. It's my most eaten slice of late because it gives me everything. It's my go-to. It's a coffee fantastic. It does. It's got the sweetness. It's got the tang. It's my go-to. It can't need a coffee fantastically. It does.

It's got the sweetness. It's got the tang. It's not too sweet. Nah. It's kind of like a good, if I was a kid and someone had given me a ginger crunch, I would have been very angry. Because I wanted the lolly cake.

Yeah, you'd want the lolly cake. Yeah. But yeah, people are, New Zealanders that are watching are like, ha ha ha. What? Ginger crunch. Ginger crunch. Do we love that more than everybody, do we? Maybe we do. New Zealanders that are watching are like ha ha ha what ginger crunch ginger crunch do we love that

more than everybody do we maybe we do because we love a ginger nut yeah don't we those biscuits

are like is that still New Zealand's most sold biscuit like for pure packets sold it's up there yeah

I thought ginger nuts were like the top dog so they love a ginger nut and then of course the crunch is the

yeah my local cafe does a good ginger slice does it always and that's the thing is there So they love a ginger nut and then of course the crunch is the... Yeah, my local cafe does a good ginger slice. Does it? Always. And that's the thing, is there a difference between a ginger crunch and a ginger slice? Similar. The biscuity base, right?

One's a bit crunchier. I don't know. Yeah. And you've got to have a lot, you've got a lot of icing on your ginger crunch. Yeah. Good icing to biscuit ratio. I tell you what,

the best, I mean, I haven't sampled every cafe in new zealand so this might be a little skew of my sampling but um the cafe in otorua fat dog like an inch of icing yep you remember those because it's pure bulk and they are huge it's like an inch icing and i'm like it's good it's almost a little too much even even for me. Because you've got a sweet tooth. Because I have a sweet tooth. But yeah, all their slices are like... They do the pie awards. Why don't we do a ginger crunch award?

They need to. Yeah. But who's rocking the best ginger slice or crunch? And that's the thing. Is there a crunch category? Is there a slice category? Or is it just all ginger? You're going in all ginger.

I'll put myself, I'm forward to be a judge. Right. Are we just getting ginger slices after the show? Definitely. Yeah, okay. 100%.