ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th September 2020

Episode Date: September 6, 2020

Random acts of Kindness improve something...  Top 6: Apple Vaccuums  What did you come home to?  Where's my Medal?!  Vaughans Fathers Day Prezzie  Go-To Song: Roadtrip  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee. On the go. Vaughan's playing with his, I don't want to ruin the podcast, it is a bit of a spoiler alert, but Vaughan is playing with his birthday present. Should we give you a clue? No, his father's day present. Oh, your father's day present. Sorry, yes. There's your clue. And then put it on yourself. I ever got something to say

This is what happens if you smoke too many cigarettes kids Yeah And that's the only way I can talk now This could be Are you doing some What was that? Did that sound pretty good? Yeah

I want you to listen to what I have to say I'm not actually talking. That's just how those things must work. There's a vibration in your mouth. Yeah, and it's kind of reverberating around your mouth. You sound like a villain in Batman. Don't keep doing that. You'll be doing damage.

I can use simply a dub to the dub. This slime is born into it. Freaky. You can find out what that is soon. It's a dildo. Putting it on your neck. It's like hard out. It's like fletch level.

It's like if you were to buy one. What the fuck is fletch level dildo? What? Multiple attachments. Multiple attachments. Matt Black. You love Matt Black. I do love Matt Black. Carry love Matt Black. I do love Matt Black.

Carry case. Yeah. Rechargeable. Heavy, heavy jutes. That's a good spot. I mean, out of the two of us, you're the only one that does own a large vibrating black tool. ZM. Head music.

Lives here. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Ash. Hit music. Lives here. Fleece Fauna Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleece Fauna Megan. Happy Monday.

Yay. Put chairs low. I'm putting my chair up. Have you got a sinking chair? No, I think whoever used... It was a good weekend, was it? Wow. Wow.

I was going to say 2020 is that chair A sinking chair No I think Whoever used this last Must have been A low rider Right

Those people that have Their driver's seat Like way back I don't know how people do that I have to have mine At least like a 90 degrees You like to be straight up I like to be straight up

And hands at 10 and 2. Yeah. You'd be a recliner driver. Oh, back in my girl racer days. Nah, not too recliner, not straight up and down. No, you like a little bit of an angle. Yeah. Yeah.

What was your girl racer days? Early days of your MX-5? Or your Holden Barina? My Barina. Cool, man. Can you say that? You heard that TLC song, No Scrubs? I used to bang the crap out of that car.

Oh. Was laps a thing in Nelson? Well, yeah, but I lived in Christchurch. Oh, when you had the Barina, you lived in Christchurch. Lips around a cup. Oh, wow. Roger. And a Barina. Oh, excuse me, the Barina, you lived in Christchurch. That's around a couple. Oh, wow. Roger. In a Barina.

Oh, excuse me. It went. Did it? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't imagine you being a girl racer. You could do some great peelies in a Barina.

In a front-wheel drive Barina? Yeah. Get a couple of takeaway trays, put them under the back wheels, lock on the handbrake. Is that what you're talking about? No. That was fun. Did you do that? I was driving on ice.

Oh my God. You look shocked. I'm like, wow, that sounds fun. Oh, it was. It was really good fun. Good Lord. Coming up on the show today, again, your chance to win cash.

It's our 50K fact of the day. All thanks to Save My Bacon. Your chance to win $500 cash at midday and four, but you've got to be listening for that fact of the day. All thanks to Save My Bacon, you have a chance to win $500 cash at midday and four, but you've got to be listening for that fact of the day question at 8.25 this morning. The top six is coming up. Yep, it sure is. Samsung has jumped into the vacuum cleaner game. Okay.

You know, this could be you. You're a vacuum cleaner influencer. I am ready. You, last week, were just saying your Dyson battery pooped itself. Yeah. And they sent you a new one. No questions asked. Well, if Samsung's getting into the vacuum game, it's only a matter of time until the Apple

vacuum comes out. Apple Vac. I Vac. I Vac. I Suck. I Vac. I Suck. That's a great name. The I Suck, the top six speeches of the yet-to-be-announced, probably never will, Apple vacuum cleaner. Coming up. All right.

Next, we need to discuss the sales of something have gone up 700%. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We need to discuss the rise of the Shiwi. It has gone up 700%. Sales. in the past five months of sales. Yeah, five months. Now, Shiwis are the, how would you describe it? It's a device.

It's a wee apparatus for females because we're lacking the device that you naturally have. And it means you can stand up. So people use them at festivals, don't they? Yeah. I've never owned one, never used one. You're on record as being quite disgusted by festivals, don't they? Yeah. I've never owned one, never used one. You're on record as being quite disgusted by these, aren't you? I mean, I don't mind if other people use them. I just, not for me.

Not for me at all. It's sort of like a folding up funnel, isn't it? Yeah. It's made of, I've never seen one, but I always imagine it's made of a similar sort of thickness of plastic of like an ice cream container. I always thought it would be silicon like those spatulas. Oh, yeah.

Like a muffin tray. Yeah, yeah. No, but that's too flimsy. Yeah, a bit harder. So it's like pliable. Right. But, I mean, I don't know if I'm going to use one. I imagine, I just imagine it's like one of those clear files

that you put your A4 paper in. You could probably just use a clear file. You just cut the corner off one and just make a little hole at the end. I wonder if you could just use a funnel. There's the Shiwi Flexi. Oh, okay. Is that the silicon-based one?

God, I'm glad I've Googled this because now for the next eight months I'm going to be getting on the target of advertising. Taking a mims. But why 700%? In the next eight months, I'm going to be getting on the target of advertising. But well. Taking a mims. But why 700%? In the last five months. Like what does coronavirus have to do with buying a sheewee? Public toilets have been shut down for health reasons.

Lots of public toilets are not available. But in level 2.5 and 2 they are, right? I remember I went for a bike ride during level 3 or 4 and I was like, uh oh. I need to get home. Because they shut down the public toilets. No, I was in a wee-wee's.

You've got your own she-wee. We've got so many places we can go mad. We are very lucky. But I made it home. I made it home. But I mean, yeah, I'd have no problem with finding a bush. But yeah, lots of facilities closed down. So people were buying these.

The Shiwi Extreme. What's that? I don't know what makes it extreme. The Extreme comes with a carry case and an extension tube. In case you need a wee over something. Lightweight, discreet and NATO approved. What's the North Atlantic

Treaty Organisation got to do with this? NATO approved. Wow. Does that NATO stand for something else? It's made from polypropylene which is recycled,

makes toilet dilemmas a thing of the past. But I don't know the difference between it. I'm looking at the Shiwi Extreme and the Shiwi Flexi is $10 cheaper. Does it just not have the extension tube?

No, it has an extension tube and a case. Well, you could make your own extension tube for free. Just cut some of the garden hose off. And use a funnel from a kitchen. What's that brand of hose? What's that extension tube that fits inside the Shiwi? Oh, okay, right. I mean, you could do the Gardena. Gardena, yeah. You want to

spend a little bit extra and get a good quality hose. Otherwise you've got to use it and it'll be cracked and a little bit will come out the bottom. You don't want that happening. And you don't want your hose in knots. No. No. Not when you're busting. Oh no, you don't want to kick in your hose. It'll flow back

and go in your pants. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast when you're busting. Oh no, you don't want to kick in your hose. Or flow back and go in your pants. It's official that random acts of kindness not only make you feel better, but it's actually good for your physical health. Okay. And well-being. Fletch, here's an apple. Why are you giving me that apple?

It's a random act of kindness What sticker's it got on it? Yeah, but is it a yummy one? What do you mean? Can you keep all your yummy stickers? August is collecting them Why? Alright, you collect a hundred of them

And you get like sports equipment for your school Oh, that's cool I've got a Pacific Rose But does it say yummy? No Mine doesn't say yummy The brand Yeah, the brand No, mine doesn't say yummy. The brand. Yeah, the brand.

No money. So they're really getting a foothold in there with this. That's cunning, that idea. Well, Sade went shopping yesterday and came home with apples, and August went through and was like, Mom, none of these are yummy. The yummy ones. Oh, yeah, like, it's clever.

Because then there's this little competition on who's going to fill out the thing. Yeah. And so there's a competitive element to it. So what do they do when they fill out all the stickers? I think you take it to school and you get, it equates to some sports equipment. That's cool. They did it at the girls' last school as well and

one of the mums just took the kids to the fruit store and distracted the owner and they picked all the stickers off and got a whole sheet in one day. I was like, well, that's a great idea. It's fruit fraud. That's something you would do, though. Yeah.

You're just jealous you didn't think of that. Yeah, I got a couple off Granny Smith's the other day, but I wasn't buying Granny Smith's. I was just next to them. But anyway, from fraudulent fruit sticker climbing to the random acts of kindness actually being good for you, the Psychological Bulletin studied 201 independent studies. And through those, it took in over 198,000 people

over those 200 studies. Right. And they did. They found a modest, non-deniable link between good deeds and good health. Wow. Right. And they did, they found a modest, non-deniable link between good deeds and good health. Wow, okay. So I don't know what end of that it comes out of. Like maybe people who look after themselves also look after others,

whereas people who treat their body like a dumping ground also have a little respect for other people as well as their own body. Or just like when you do it, it releases endorphins and then your stress hormone goes down. Stress isn't good for your body. And you get addicted to kindness. Oh, imagine that. What do they say? It's 21 days to develop a new habit.

Yeah. So if you're kind for 21 days. For 21 days, maybe you'll get addicted to kindness. How do you make addicted to kindness? Yeah. Walk up to people

is there anything I can do for you? Just to help you out? Oh no no I need my hit. I need my hit to end all this. And it keeps them healthier

but a little bit like scratchy. Then you've got to check into rehab for your kindness. You're off the wagon. It's not going to work. Vicious cycle. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

The Great Depression was in the 19, was it? 19. 20s. No, it was earlier than that. Just after the roaring 20s. And our 20s off to a roaring start this time around? Well, there's something that's much worse than it was during the Great Depression. There is now, this is in the States, but I would be keen to know what it is here.

In the States, 52% of young adults are now living with one or both of their parents. And COVID is obviously to blame. Lots of people losing jobs and stuff. But during the end of the Great Depression, 48% of young adults live with their parents because times were tough. So it was worse than that. That was 29, 1929 to 1933.

Lasted 43 months of living at home with mum and dad. Yeah, 48% were, and now we're up to 52. So that's between 18 to 29-year-olds living at home with their parents. God, there'd be some arguments sort of there. I wonder if they're counting

ones that have gone and then come back or whether they're just still living at home. Because going away and living away and finding your independence and then going back, that's a bit harder. Oh, that's when it's tough, yeah. It's super tough. Or it's like when you realise that

washing clothes is hard because it needs to be done quite often. And that has definite benefits. Yeah. You're like, dinner gets made for me. Well, yeah, some parents would love it. Yeah. Having their kids back. Others, on the other hand,

would be like, oh God. Get out. And yeah, whites are always so white. So white. Oh, yeah. And the towels

are folded different. And everything gets ironed. Yeah. I don't even know what my iron is in my house. Christine's not an ironer. Oh. Only the very special things get ironed. Do you iron? No. I don't even know what my iron is in my house. Oh, no, my Chris Dan's not an ironer. Oh. Only the very special things get ironed.

Do you iron? No. Are you one of those people that iron sheets? No, I don't. I don't iron anything. Does your mum know? Yeah, I think she gives them like a wee press to flatten them. Does she iron them on the bed?

No, she's an ironing board. The ironing board is so much smaller than the sheet. Yeah. No, she folds it and then presses it so it's nicely pressed. Oh, right. The only thing she doesn't iron is underwear. But see, I have ironed underwear in the past. You can't go for the two higher nylon.

Is it nylon that melts? Oh, yeah. Oh, man, that's good stuff. You're really feeling yourself if there's a crease in your undies. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. Right. ZM yourself. There's a crease in your undies. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Like it or not, we are heading into Santa territory. When do you usually see Santa in malls and stuff?

Nov. Nov. Like start of Nov. Nov, start of Nov. Around Nov. Where was year we get invited to go to Santa-y things. Yeah, Nov. Started Nov.

108 days away from Christmas. Wow. Well, this year it could look a little bit different. So, Santa's helpers that are in malls that can take your wishes for Christmas. And your money for photos. Yep. Mum and Dad's money. You don't. Yep. Mum and dad's money. You don't need that.

Mum and dad's money, yep. They're going to look a little bit different because it's kind of dangerous for older people to be out talking with the public and especially children. With COVID around. Could be carrying COVID and it could make them quite sick.

So Santa's helpers this year may be more like in their 20s and 30s. What was that creepy look you just did? Right. So, he'll be sending his younger helpers and he'll leave the older

helpers in the grotto to help with the presents. Yeah, where they can work in socially distanced toy making desks. Brilliant. Okay. And the younger ones will go out. Okay. So one young helper has said that they are going to say, you know, they've been like

eating low calorie and they've been working out quite a bit. Okay. It's good for their health. That's why I've got the muscles. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Paleo Santa. Will they be growing their own facial? Oh, I don't know. I doubtful. Right. Okay. They're just trying to tiptoe around there. Yeah.

Like a darker beard. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Will they? Yeah. If Santa's younger helpers, they probably wouldn't have gone grey yet. And also, it's important to prepare your kids that Santa might be wearing a Chris mask. Oh, I can imagine it'll be one of those nice like velvety red. Yeah, it'll be velvety red.

And it'll have the white trim. White trim, yeah. I'm sure it will fit in. Hello, kids. Hello, kids. Hello, kids. I like behind the muffled mask. Yeah. But we need to protect everyone's health, including Santa's. It's very important.

I just googled hot young Santa. There's a lot to take in. Are you down a hole? Down a rabbit hole? Yep. Do Indy and Augie need me to take them to Santa this year? I'd be willing to take that bullet. Well, technically, you're carrying, child.

So I can sit on Santa's neck. And no questions asked. Loophole. Pregnancy loophole. Yeah, you'll be banned from another Westfields for two years if you keep this up. There's lots of Westfields around. Let's see them ban me from one. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Sexy content alert. We're about to talk about something very erotic. Vacuum cleaners. Fletch bloody loves a vacuum chat. I love a good vacuum chat. You know I love a vac chat. But a vac chat.

Well, Samsung's getting into the vacuum cleaner market. I guess they've just launched into a whole lot of homewares. Like we've got a washer dryer. Oh, yeah. And they didn't used to do that, did they? Primarily consumer electronics. What, like back in the day? Yeah, it was just like TVs and CD players.

Five stack CD players. Yeah. Oh, you've got everything now. Kids are never going to know the joy of being like CD3, but you're on CD1 and it goes. And then it would start playing. Oh, my God. How good was a big.

And like three CD changer. Okay. Four CD changer. Now we're talking. And I think a mate had a CD changer in his home stereo that was like six. Oh, rich. Some people had like 10 stackers in their car boot. Yeah.

But you had to pre-choose your 10 CDs before you set off on your journey, didn't you? Yeah. And slick it in there. Oh, God, those are the days. Anyway, they're doing vacuum cleaners now. So now that Samsung's moving into vacuums, the Apple will have to seriously consider it. Otherwise, they're going to get left behind.

The top six features of the non-existent Apple vacuum cleaner. Number six, it's got a charging cable that bends too easily and frays at the join, and then you start getting little shocks from it, but it's still good, it's still good. And then it finally stops charging the vac altogether. Yeah. Classic.

They do that on purpose. They have to buy more, right? You buy one from Kogan, which is that brand that numbed Dick Smith. You know Dick Smith's brand? Yeah. It's because the guy, you might be wondering why.

I looked into it. Let me take care of this. The guy that bought Dick Smith. Yeah. His name is Kogan. Oh, okay. His surname is Kogan. So he puts his name on all the cables and stuff.

Because he didn't want to rename Dick Smith because he wanted to keep the right recognition of that brand. Pine towel. Well, I want charging cables. I might get into that and just put my name on them all. Imagine everyone's like, oh, this bloody Fletcher cable's frayed at the edges again. Yeah. Why don't you say this Fetcher cable's like the best?

These fletcher cables like to be rammed in quite hard, don't they? You can't treat them gently. You've really got to thrash them. Number five on the list of the top six features of the non-existent Apple vac. As soon as you buy one, they'll announce the next model, which is much better, but also much more expensive, and you won't be able to say no to it. Yeah. Number five on the list of the non-existent

Apple Vac, the features of it. Number four, it needs a 10 gig software update straight out of the box. And when it's older than two years old, that next 10 gig software update will be likely too much for it, and the vacuum cleaner will start running really slowly. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six features of the non-existent Apple vacuum. The vacuum comes loaded with a U2 album. Remember when they did that? What an assault. That was so... It's assault. It's weird because where would it have been? Mid 2000s?

The great Apple U2 debacle. Everybody's software updated and all of a sudden we had a U2 album. Yeah. And if you bought a brand new one, yeah, it came, they had a U2 what year? Are you Googling? Debacle. Apple's $100 million U2 debacle.

Did it cost them $100 million? They apologised, didn't they? September 9, 2014. It was 2014 they did that? Yeah. Oh, my God. It feels like it was well before that. This year's really messed with the space-time continuum.

Number two on the list of the top six features in the non-existent Apple vac. If you want to vacuum hard floor and carpets, you have to download an app from the app store to do it because otherwise it'll only do one or the other. And number one on the list are the top six features of the non-existent Apple Vac. Any good features on it that you want to talk to your friends about,

you'll be told that Samsung vacuum cleaners had that two years ago. Yeah. It's always a good time. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. In Britain, a student who had to leave his halls of residence in March

due to COVID-19. Yep. By the way, where was that stat? Britain had its worst day yesterday since May for new infections. It was like 3,000 and something. Yeah, like seeing friends that live in London, they're all like out barbecuing and enjoying something. Yeah, like seeing friends that live in London,

they're all out barbecuing and enjoying summer. I think we've done the hardest part of this. No, we're back, baby. We're COVID-19. We're back, baby. Because wasn't Sydney creeping up as well? Sydney's, yeah. Sydney is creeping up because they had a cluster in the CBD of Sydney.

What was yesterday? 6th of September, 72 cases. Right. So it's been going down since like August, but yeah. Yeah, it's starting to sneak up again. Well, so March, April, May, June, July, August, September, six and a bit months later, went back to the halls of residence

and it turns out that there had been a window left open and pigeons had moved in. Squatting pigeons. Everything was covered in pigeon shit. There were pigeon eggs in the sink. Like they'd made the sink into a nest and there was even a little baby chick

laid in a blanket in the lounge. He called people and said, oh, this is no good. Pigeons have been in here. And they said, oh yeah, okay mate. There'll be a bit of pigeon poo. Here we go. And they came up and they're like

who? Like the photos are grim. It's a cupboard. Every surface. Everything's covered. Yeah. Everything is. Every surface. Everything's covered in pigeon. Even, yeah, like, cupboards were open. There was pigeon shit in there. It was just everywhere. All over the place.

They should have put those spikes in their flat, you know? Just everywhere. The spikes that they put on. On top of the microwave, on top of the cupboards. The pigeon deterrent spikes. Yeah, that'll keep. Or hide an owl. Yes. Or a bird of prey. keep them. Or hide an owl. Yes.

Or a bird of prey. That would have kept the pigeons away. One of those fake owls with the big glistening. Yeah. How hard is it to get a real owl? Do you want a real owl? Asking for a friend. Right.

I've always wanted an owlery. An owlery. Pre-Harry Potter, I always thought the idea of having a place on top of your barn that was full of owls would be badass. Wouldn't it be? Yeah. Sure. They fly almost silently.

Yeah. And they killed that woman who was on the staircase. Well, that's debatable. That's a very good theory. It's a theory. Micro feathers. But I'm imagining this is going to be, who was it that somebody went back recently and cows had got into their house?

That was in the New Zealand news, eh? Really? The cottage on their farm had been vacated because somebody had to leave. Did they leave the door open or did the cows? I think the cows might have just pushed in. We're in trouble if cows are picking logs. If they're evolving that much. Oh, with their little hoofs.

Yeah, or just turning around and booting the door hard enough and easily opening it that way. There'd be cows inside and it was right off the carpets and everything had to be pulled up because cows don't use the toilet. Sure, they can pick a lock, but they still haven't worked out how to do a poo in the right place. So we want to know, what did you come home to? What mess did you come home to?

Don't know how long you've been away. I was always quietly chuffed when someone with a beach house would go to the beach house after like months of not going to the beach house. They'd go to their beach house and there'd be a mess. Because you're like, ah, they don't teach you for being rich

and having a beach house. They don't teach you to have a house that can sit unoccupied with no one going in and out. Yeah. Maybe a window gets broken or a window gets left open and you've come home. Something gets in. Doesn't have to be animals, right? No.

No. Or chest freezers. Yeah, or like a water pipe burst or something. And you come home and it's... Because remember, I don't know if you guys remember, but there were these times when you could go overseas for like weeks at a time. Holidays.

You mean to the South Island? No, to another country. Wow. What are other countries? Yeah, I know. What are they? Other countries. How did you get there?

They're like our country, but you get on a plane. Wow. Yeah. Is that the one, the same plane that you take to the South Island? Yeah, the same plane. Bigger planes even. Bigger than that. They seem very large. You could go away for weeks on end and then come back.

So maybe, you know, looking back, you came home after a couple of weeks away and there was a big old mess. What did you come home to? What surprise did you come home to? XJs, I'm having a meltdown. Having some technical difficulties behind the scenes. I'm also having technical difficulties.

Have we caught you in the middle of a software update? Yes. I need more coffees. I've already done two. I could probably do three. It's definitely a multi-coffee morning. Yeah, it is. And it's not even daylight savings yet.

That's coming. That's a couple of weeks away. That's coming. We're talking about what mess you came home to. A student who had to vacate the halls of residence has finally gone back after, by our calculations, over six months and pigeons had moved in and there's just pigeon shit everywhere.

It's nasty. And there's little, a pigeon chick. Yeah, yeah. And eggs. And a blanket on the couch and some eggs in the sink. So we wanted to know from you the messes you came home to somebody said the possums had moved

in when we went away but so had the rats it was like a turf war in our little rural cottage did the possums stay at the high

ground and the rats settle on the low ground and then the kitchen benches where the turf war would happen because it's kind of not

the floor but not the roof I can't deal with rats corpses that had been like you know sitting there for ages I caught the mouse in our chicken coop would happen because it's kind of not the floor but not the roof. I can't deal with rats. I'm hoping there wasn't corpses that had been sitting there for ages. I caught the mouse

in our chicken coop. There's been a mouse living in our chicken coop. I thought there was a rat. Did you get the rat? We're rats. No, I haven't got the rat yet. He or she is under

the compost bin but they are very clever. But the mouse got caught in the rat trap that I set and then something ate the back half of the mouse. Oh my God.

Could that have been the rat? Could have been. You need to have a rat trap on a rat trap. So when the rat trap catches whatever the other one comes down to get whoever's eating the rat. Sort of like a succession of. Yeah. Like a bigger. It ends with this massive trap.

Yes. I can't see a problem with this at all. Somebody asked me, we went overseas for three weeks. Someone was feeding our cat but never came inside. Feed the cat on a problem with this at all. Somebody else messaged in, we went overseas for three weeks. Someone was feeding our cat but never came inside. Feed the cat on the porch outside. Oh, okay. Who did come inside was the 12 other cats that set up residence. They must have got in through a window and we just came home and our house was just full of cat.

Cat was having a party. Yeah. Come home and dad are away, come over. All the neighbours. Snacks on the porch. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Somebody else said they came home to a water leak. However, the water leak was in the laundry where also their main switchboard was.

So the water leak triggered a serious electrical problem because the electricity source got wet. Apparently, we were very lucky our house didn't burn down. Yeah, not literally coming home to just charred remains. Yeah, but the house was semi-damped though, wasn't it? So it'd probably take quite a bit to set that on light. Yeah, put itself out or just smoulder away. Or everything's burnt. Your whole house is burnt down apart from your soggy laundry.

Right. Anne-Marie, what did you come home to? We came home and we couldn't, we'd stayed in a hotel the night before we left. We flew out from Auckland, we're from Tauranga, and there'd been a police chase and the guy had gone through the gates to try and get away of the hotel

and he'd lifted, they were locked, lifted the wrought iron gates in his car and the gate had smashed three or four other cars. Ours was only the taillight because we were further down the line. Some of them were quite badly damaged. So we had to stay another night in the hotel because we couldn't go home

and we got in late until the next day because we had to replace the taillight. But yeah, there was about four or five cars damaged in the hotel in Auckland. Wow. So somebody hit the gates with enough strength to lift the gates off and smash cars on the other side of it?

Yeah, on both sides because it was a police chase and he tried, it was out at Manuka, he tried to divert the cops and thought he could sneak around the back but he couldn't, the gates were locked and so yeah, it was a high speed chase. I would have liked to have seen that.

People describe something that happened and I was like hmm. I would have liked to have seen that. Yeah, same. When people describe something that happened, I was like, hmm. I would have liked to have seen it. Thanks, you call Anne-Marie. Somebody said, we went trucking for a week, came home to a wild cat in our house. The curtains were ripped to shreds and the house never smelt the same again.

Oh. Yeah, I'd get rid of everything. Yeah. Nasty, stinking cat wheeze Alright, so people are coming home to an absolute shambles Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM Me and my husband went to a cafe at the weekend

We own a cafe So we like to go around and see what everyone else is up to Try different things Kind of snooping, but just like Market research And I like to see how they've decorated the place and like what plates they're using. And we're real geeks like that.

Do you ever see like a slice or a cake and you're like, we have to do that. We have to steal that idea. Yeah, all the time. I've been with it. Vaughan, take a photo of it. I'll be like, why do I have to take a photo of it? Because then Vaughan looks suspicious if you're taking a photo of it.

I'll be like, okay. So I take a photo of it. And then what? You're just like, excuse. Yeah. So I take a photo of it. And then what, you're just like, excuse me, can I have the recipe for this? And Sade's like, why have you got all these photos of savouries on your phone?

No, you just try and replicate it. Right, okay. Yeah, or do like something similar. I don't know. This is incriminating myself. But we went to a cafe supporting local. What makes a good plate?

Just on the plate check. So I think that's something I could get caught up with in a cafe. I'd overcapitalise in my cutlery. I like, depending on what the dish is, I like to have a contrast between the plate and the food. And also, does the plate complement, the shape of the plate,

does it complement what you're eating? Are the sides too hard? Heavy plate? High, heavy plate. I like a heavy plate. Bit of texture. Oh, yeah, but you don't want your knives and forks like screeching on the... No.

Some of those plates have a bit of a texture. You know, like a bit of a rustic one at the moment. Yeah. A bit of a French country style plate. Yeah. Yeah, like a heavy... This place had great cutlery too. Oh, yeah, good.

It had like gold cutlery, but it was like kind of French style. It's really quite something. Okay. So everything was great. The food was great and everything. I definitely don't want to bag the place. I'm not going to tell you what it was, what the place was,

because there was one little... Situation. Situation. And I didn't complain about it because I found this hilarious. But we were not the only people dining at this cafe. There was some families. It was Father's Day?

Yesterday or Saturday? But there was a lot of people out and about. It was the first weekend out of lockdown for Auckland. And there was also some older women having coffee together. And the music when we first got in there, I noticed

the music was really loud. Okay. But I didn't mind. But it's more the choice of music. So as we were sitting there enjoying our breakfast, some Cardi B came on. Uncensored Cardi B. Wow. Her latest song, which I'm not going to play you the uncensored version like they did,

but this song came on. That is the censored version. Yeah, this is the censored version. I don't even know how we explain this song. How many awkward conversations have there been? What's WAP? It's about playing in the rain. Marama Davidson asked this.

The MP. Yes, yes, the MP tweeted, who is WAP asking for all us nannies? Now, some of the replies were amazing. The National Party's meme working collective group or something. Yeah, I know that's as lame as it sounds. On Twitter said, it stands for well-thought actual policies, something you have none of.

To which she replied, you will never make anyone whap with such weak bitch replies. Slay better. Which I was just like, that's a view. You're taking shots. They're going to hurt. See, when you see the name whap, you don't know. No. But I tell just like, that's a view. You're taking shots. They're going to hurt. See, when you see the name WAP, you don't know.

No. But I tell you what, when that song is blasting in a cafe, it's very detailed. It's very detailed. The non-sense version. Yes. Very detailed. And I was just in hysterics. My husband was devastated for them and was like,

we have to tell them. He'd only just learnt from you last week what it meant. He was devastated and wanted to do something about it but the two older women

at the counter were just looking at me and quite horrified. But I'm with you. It's very funny when the staff get to, you know, plug in their playlist.

I think that's all they've done. Played good as Spotify and just... They don't think. They're just like, yeah, I'll just chuck on this. What other songs were on this? So I'd never heard the unstinted version of Savage Love, but there is one. The Jason Derulo song?

Yeah, that played. Everything just was... Yeah, there was lots of Fs and stuff. Right. Which, I mean, I didn't have a problem with, but I think if I was the owner, I probably would have. No, there was one point where they ran over

to the counter and was like, they've realised they're playing WAP. But they'd seen someone at the counter and they just needed to serve them quickly.

So, yeah. It was like a nightclub as well. Wow. So, review. Cutlery. Great food. Nice.

Great cutlery. Broccory. Good. Food, fantastic. I enjoyed the Cardi B. Musical accompaniment, not for everyone. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Nauru,

your gold medalist. Where's my medal? Yeah, where's my medal? Well, this is the segment where we reward everyday New Zealanders for doing... Everyday things. Everyday things. Yeah, where's my medal? Maybe it's your first time doing something.

Maybe you've been putting something off for ages and you finally stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park. Vaughan washed his jeans last week and we didn't care. Even though we had told you every day to finally wash your jeans. We didn't wash those. Was that the first time? I scrubbed them. Was that the first time they've been washed? Maybe.

Also, you guys didn't care when I said I didn't eat any junk food during lockdown 2.0. I felt bad for you. Or drink. No, I was being healthy. Why deprive yourself? I was like, where's my medal? You didn't drink. Not alcohol. What is wrong with you? Where's my medal? You didn't drink. Not alcohol. What is wrong with you? Where's my medal?

Where's my medal? Oh, that's on you. Yeah. I can't endorse that sort of carry on. So we're going to take three stories and we will award bronze, silver and gold. We're going to start this morning with Tia. Good morning, Tia. Morning.

How are you? Good, thank you. Now, why do you deserve a medal? I washed and cleaned my reusable bamboo straw for the first time since purchasing it in March. I never... Wow. I have medal straws. I put them in the dishwasher and that's it, but I don't do the insides.

You've got a little brush that goes... Yeah, I don't use that. Yeah. A bamboo straw has lasted since March. Yeah. That's a great ad for the bamboo straw. How often would you use it? I'd say maybe twice a week.

I'd use it for an iced coffee, smoothie, lemonade. How do you even... You weren't washing between the treats. How do you even fit that in the glass or even your mouth around it? It's quite a skinny little thing. I do love the thought of an actual big old bamboo. What is a piece of bamboo? Like the width of a vacuum cleaner tube.

You'd need some great suction to even get it that much looking at the straw at once. See if you're drinking bubble tea. Okay, so you explained a straw. I like that. That's a good one. Molly, good morning. Morena.

Morena. Molly, why do you deserve a medal? I didn't pop my pimple. Oh! So you could, whereabouts, first of all, let's establish Where on the body Was the pimple

Right next to The corner of my mouth Oh Oh no Was it When it had like Four heads on it I could see

And I didn't touch it The whole time And it was real Like you could have Got a lot out of it Yeah I could have Got heaps Those are the simple

Pleasures we need in 2020 I know That was just handed to you You left it And it retreated? It's retreating and it's almost gone. Wait, so my God. Hang on, if you leave a white pimple, does it just go away? Yeah, because you're not supposed to pop them, I thought.

That's the rule. Don't touch them. But where does the white stuff... Claire Chittum once said that in a Dolly magazine article. Don't pop them. I'm pretty sure she said the Kaden, because she's got wonderful skin. She does, yeah.

But where does it go? But where does the once... It's still back down. It's still loose. No, it doesn't go back in. Because you know those real sore ones that are under the skin? Oh, yeah.

Those and those go away. That's what I thought you said. You'd resisted popping a pimple that wasn't ready yet, but then once it had heated, you'd given it a squeeze. But you've resisted it even after it showed itself. That is incredible restraint. Holy shivers. Molly, please hold the line.

We'll go to Taylor, our third contestant this morning. And where's my medal? Taylor, why do you deserve a medal? I finally moved my cup from the bedside table to the kitchen sink. After how long? I actually have lost count of the weeks that it sat there for.

There was like a little layer of dust sitting on the mouthful of water left. Wait, so there was water in the bottom of the cup? Yeah, but I don't like drinking it after it's sat there all night in case like bugs have done something in there. Yeah. So it just sits there. I get that.

I get that. Okay, and you finally moved it to the sink. But that was only after I saw your segment on Instagram. I was like, oh, I must do that. Wow, so we inspired you to do something to then qualify for Where's My Medal? Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Okay, Taylor, the judges must now decide who receives bronze, silver, and gold. I feel like it's going to be unanimous gold. Our gold is unanimous, right? Am I correct, panel? Yes, I believe so. Yep. No, no, it was too many fingers at once. Yeah, I agree with you.

Okay, yeah, yeah. We're just doing some hand signals here. We're just doing some hand signals. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, bronze medal for moving a cup from beside her bed to the sink after weeks and dust accumulating on the top of the water,

Taylor, congratulations. Bronze medal. Congratulations. Man, what does the week hold for you now? God, the world's your oyster. You can get out there and do whatever you want, but we don't care. Silver! Silver!

For cleaning a straw that she's had since March. That's nasty. And in that time, changing it between sour drinks and milky drinks and hot drinks and cold drinks. Tia, congratulations, silver. Thank you. And that means no one lingers too long on silver, Tia, so I'll just ask you to stop being an attention hog because now everybody's put it together.

Gold medal in the inaugural. Where's my medal? Must go to Molly, who resisted popping a pimple even after it showed a white head. Multiple white heads. Congratulations, Molly. Well done. It's so nice to be family. I love you.

I love you too. Tell your family you won a gold medal today. We're raising the flag. Molly, just if you could. Beautiful. It's going up. Medal around your neck. Flowers passed you by somebody.

You've done us all proud. What a moment. Congratulations, Molly. Thank you. Tears, real tears. Real tears there. Brilliant. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. It was Father's Day yesterday. Hope everybody had a lovely day being a father or with a father or remembering their loved fathers. I did not know what I was going to get for Father's Day this year. Normally you do. Oh, I asked for a pocket knife. Okay.

You didn't get that? But that can wait till Christmas. I'm in no hurry. But I got it and I unwrapped it. Wait, why do you need a pocket knife? There comes an age where every man needs to be able to cut things at any given moment. That's what you get like a 16-year-old boy. Like a pocket knife.

And a 38-year-old man. For cutting things. I've got knives hidden all around our property for different things. Good Lord. This is all the apocalypse. Well, yeah. Well, I'll know where they are when I need them. Yeah.

But we've got like hay for the cows and you need to cut the baling twine. So there's a knife there. Right. And then there's a knife down by the chicken shed to cut open meal for the chickens, the sacks of food for the chickens. So there's these weird... But if I had one that was my Swiss Army knife,

I'd be able to carry it everywhere. So you'd get that and then we'd fly to Christchurch for work and they'd confiscate it at the security. What's your length of blade? What length of blade are you allowed now? Post 9-11. Aren't you allowed a little blade? I don't know.

It wouldn't be a big knife. It would be a little Swiss, like a Swiss Army knife. But not with all the knives and forks and spoons. But you could do something on a plane with a Swiss Army knife. Of course you could. But you wouldn't. You wouldn't. Right, okay.

It's the oath you take when you get a Swiss Army knife. Right. So I opened this and it was not a Swiss Army knife. It was this nice case. And on the front, I was so confused because this logo on the front looks like a tow bar. But then turn it on its side, it looks like a sex toy. What? Well, that's what happens when you zip it open and take it out.

It looks even more like a sex toy. But if you have wanted one of these, it's not a sex toy, forever. I think if you've ever Googled physio near me, you would guarantee the next waking moment to have had targeted advertising for one of these massaging guns. It looks like a real masculine hairdryer. Yeah. Now, what attachment would you like?

Because it came with multiple attachments. We've got one about the size of a tennis ball. That one's like a squash ball. There's a very... This still looks like an adult fun toy. And then that one looks like a kettle prod. Two prongs. Yeah, the two prongs.

The two prongs. Do you want this one? Yeah. Okay. Are you going to do it on me? Yeah, and you click it in. Oh, okay. This is exciting. There's something so sexual about this. And so you turn it this one? Yeah. Okay. Are you going to do it on me? Yeah. And you click it in. Oh, okay. This is exciting.

There's something so sexual about this. And so you turn it on at the bottom. Okay. And then it says, this is how much battery you've got. So I'm 99% battery. I charged this overnight because I knew you'd want to be absolutely worked. Like a tough old piece of meat. I'm going to tenderize your steak.

And then you turn it on. Yeah. I didn't put the end in properly. You're really going to push that in. So I was like, wow. Push it around a little bit. So this is on on. Yeah. I didn't put the end in properly. You're really going to push that in. Okay. Push it around a little bit. So this is on one. Right.

I can hear that. Put it up again. Put it on the mic. Yeah, I'm trying to find the best. Oh. Oh. So that's one. Okay.

And what is 10? What is 10? Is 10 the highest? I'll turn it up while it's on the microphone. Okay. That's 20. microphone. Okay. Oh. That's 20. That's 20.

God, I'm tingling. God, if someone's got the bloody, if someone's driving a car with a big subwoofer in it, turn it up for a minute and I'll give you a bit of work, drive to work pleasure. It's like you're on the rumble lines.

Someone's swerving. Someone's just, the car in front of them is just like. Are you sure this isn't the Satisfyer Pro 3? Yeah. If it is. Or men's edition. Yeah, so I'll, now do you want me to come around and. Okay, and do it.

Can I. Do you have a sore foot? No, I've got like tight shoulders at the moment. Can I just ask though, what do physios think of these things? Do you have a sore bit? No, I've got like tight shoulders at the moment. Can I just ask though, what do physios think of these things? I can't imagine they've got very good things to say about them. This is all it turned into yesterday. Me putting it on the throat and talking like,

August, oh, don't waste a sweet spot, here it is. August, I am your father. Me, my, me. I mean, I am your father. I mean, I'm not a massive Star Wars person, but I know that it didn't sound like he had an AFT to his throat. Hold on, can you do a tube? I can't do that. Are you ruining your vocal cords with this?

That's why Shadow's like, I don't know if you should be doing that. All right. Okay, you just do it on my shoulder. Okay, Sam boy, here we go. It's going to make it worse. That feels so good. You've just joined us. Vaughn is now tending to Fletch.

Is it on 10? No, it's on 20. That is nuts. Should you just haphazardly be like doing that around his back? Shouldn't you know where you're supposed to do it? Do it on Megan or are you allowed to? No, I don't know if pregnant women are allowed. Oh, really? Okay, well, you don't get the pleasure.

You don't get lots of pleasure. I'm okay with that. Soft cheese or massage gum. This is on low, so this is on one now. Okay. I think all that it changes is it's less. Oh, God. That is really pounding.

I feel like if you did have like a real knot, that would really be good. That feels so good. Are they not? Are they not? What was that noise? What was that noise? What was that noise? I guess we know what noise you make in the Throes of Passion now.

I would seriously love to know if physios think those are a good idea. You know that they don't. Because of what? They're doing them out of a job. They're doing them out of a job. But also like just in the hands of anybody. Oh, my shoulder feels so much like freedom. So that was what I...

Ouch. It's hard to do your own back. How long until Vaughn comes to work and he's like, I need to go to the physio. I don't know. I don't know. But I did my arm. It wasn't sore or anything,

but I just ran it up and down my arm. And then it did. Afterwards, it felt lighter. Really? That's on 20. You've got it on 20. Really? That's on 20. You've got it on 20. That's 5G, bro. That's what the conspiracy theorists hear.

Anyway, whatever makes you feel good. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Your go-to. Roadie.e. you'll be driving on the roadie. Yeah. Everyone be careful on the roadie when doing your roadie. But with that in mind. And, you know, it is getting there. We're in spring now. We're in spring.

Spring has sprung. I know. And a lot of people have already started planning New Year's and summer. Yeah. But then also, like, you're like, well, should we plan that far ahead? We're going to have something to look forward to. Yeah. We're going to have plans on. So your go-to song in the past, we've done,

what's your go-to song to make you cry, if you need to cry? Get you going. Yeah, or amp you up for a big moment. Today, your go-to roadie song. What is that one song? We want to hear from you this morning. 0800 DALES AT M. You can text her as well, 9696.

What is that go-to song for a roadie? You always play it on your roadie. Yeah. Do you have one with the family? Maybe the start of a roadie.

We do the Frozen soundtrack and there's always an argument on who's going to be Elsa and who's going to be Anna. One or two? I say to Sade, one. Okay.

We haven't done a roadie since Frozen 2 soundtrack has been available but we do a whole array of Disney movies actually but I always say to Shade I'm like look you're more of an Anna

than an Elsa. Leave the Elsa to me. And then I end up singing a little bit of Anna as well as all of Elsa and she gets very angry that I've broken on the deal. But we will often do

Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody as well. Oh that's a given. Absolute, absolute banger. Yeah. Anything with like a good drum. Guitar solo. Yeah.

So you think you can stop and spit in my eye. Yeah. Bam, bam. Yeah. Okay, bangers. You can sing the guitar part of that song too. I always love when you can sing an instrument part. Yeah. You're like, wow, wow, bam. Yeah, okay, bangers. You can sing the guitar part of that song too. I always like when you can sing an instrument part. Yeah.

You're like, wow, wow, wow. All right, well, we want to take your calls now and your texts. 0800-DARLS.M9696. What is your go-to song for a roadie? Your go-to roadie songs. Seamless. So your go-to song for a roadie.

We've done go-to songs to make you cry. Those songs when you need a pick up as well. But today, our category, the ultimate roadie song. And as Megan raised a very good point behind the scenes while that song was playing. These are all terrible songs. I wouldn't want to be in a car with any of these. But when you're in a car, it's okay to play these songs. When you're on a roadie, terrible songs are okay.

Why? I don't know. Why is that? Because you wouldn't even play... Do you know all the words? You wouldn't even play a lot of these songs at like a party if you had a house party, right? You're vulnerable. You're tired.

Everyone knows the words. A one-off play is okay. Maybe. So a lot of text A one-off play is okay. Maybe. So a lot of text messages and calls coming through. Yeah, I'm just compiling a little playlist here so we can play some of the ones that have been text messaged in. Here we go. Oh, okay.

I mean, I'm a bit soft spot for that song. Glee killed this song for me. Did it? I used to really like it. But then, bloody, I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, and there's like three of them that are not with us. But yeah, the Glee cast really killed that song. I mean, it's journeys, don't stop believing.

Okay, Chris, what's your go-to roadie song? Boys of Summer by DJ Semi. Oh. Not the worst version of Boys of Summer. There's like five versions of that, isn't there? I think so, but DJ Sammy is our go-to in the car. Every time. Oh, here we go.

Is this the DJ Sammy version? Yeah. Oh, if it's summer and you're all in the car, yeah, I get it. You're vulnerable. Yeah, windows down. Windows down. Why are you going on a roadie? Pop your lung.

You're vulnerable, Megan. You're in a good mood. You're going on holiday. Because I'm tired. I'm sitting in the back seat and I'm feeling car sick. And you forgot and you're leaving on the morning of a long weekend and you're really not going anywhere. Cool shotgun, Megan.

Yeah. There's certainly some BPM here. Why would you want that when you could have this version though? I don't know. We love that one. The classic.

All the time. The classic. Yeah. Don Henley. Oh, fast one. It takes ages to get into it. Hey, next roadie,

you can just go through all the different versions. Yeah. Way to make your roadie feel... Oh, are you mixing? I did, I mixed it back. No! Yeah, man, I can't wait to see you at Rhythm and Vibes.

This is why I lasted one night in the club. Because you just, what, randomly started two different versions of songs and then turned one up and turned one down. Don't forget your Raspberry Cruisers. $3 for a Raspberry Cruiser. $3. Mate, it's been a while since I've been at the club.

$2.50 for a shot from the tray being carried around. Yeah, right. Hamish, what's your go-to roadie song, Hamish? Fat Pettys Drop, Wandering Eye. Oh, yeah, that's a good Kiwi classic. That's a good... Yeah, that says summer to me, doesn't it? Yeah.

The full long version? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I, that's a good Kiwi classic. That's a good... Yeah, that says summer to me, doesn't it? Yeah. The full long version? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't know. What's it called? Wandering Eye. We know how it goes. Oh, yeah, everybody knows, right? It's five minutes.

Yeah. This is Kiwi classic. Oh, this is summer. Yep. Yeah, brilliant. Hamish, thanks. But then they talk about crayfish at one stage, and I'm like, well, I don't have crayfish.

And now I'm sad because I don't have crayfish. Some of the other messages we've had in include... I saw this baby. Somebody said their whole family raps it. That's, like, pretty cute. That would be pretty funny to see. The Tenacious D song tribute. Oh, yep.

This is a good... It's the best song in the world. Oh, okay. This has got sweet words in it. So I'm just going to... Free Falling by Tom Petty. R.I.P.? Don't you R.I.P. Tom Petty?

Wait a minute, are you right? He's R.I.P. Damn it! Oh my God. What about this one? I know Fletch, you'd be on board. Oh, classic. Have we sung this on a roadie?

I feel like we might have. Side of the road that says 50 miles to the left track. Yeah, okay, yeah. This is how roadies go when we go away for work. Vaughan sings loudly. You guys don't sing enough. We trip off to sleep. Or we try to.

Or you pretend to. Yeah. It hurts my feelings. What's this? Tell me the minute you work out what song this is. Dreary as. West Virginia. It's Take Me Home Country Roads.

Don't care if I never hear that song again. Are you kidding me? It's a drive-in classic. He's talking about roads. And guess what you're driving on. Nah, do it without that. Oh, okay. Might only be a search on this one.

This text message just came in. I knew you were going to play that. Fast car, because it's got cars, and guess what you're sitting in? A fast car. A car. It might not be fast. It should be going to the speed limit. Absolutely no room for allowance of speeding.

Kara's called in. Good morning, Kara. Hello. How are you,. Good morning, Cara. Hello. How are you, team? Good, good. Now, I think, because we have played each week when we do this, we have played a song, haven't we? And I believe this could be what the nation needs right now.

Absolutely. What, not Tracy Chapman, Fast Car? No. Coco Jumbo. I'm going to turn that off. Coco Jumbo? Someone text that out. It was a great song.

What's that song? Coco Jumbo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Coco Jumbo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. I that off. Coco Jambo. Someone text that out. It was a great song. What's that song? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Coco Jambo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. I got it. You know. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Coco Jambo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that a pan flute? Yeah. There is not enough pan flute in songs. There isn't. I was just saying this at the weekend.

I was just saying this. Steel drum and pan flute is what I need more of. Does your go-to roadie song have pan flute? Unfortunately not. I feel like I was there and you guys have just pulled the rug out from under my feet. Could you Google some pan flute on YouTube maybe? Sure. Because maybe we could add some pan flute music. We could add pan flute on YouTube maybe? Sure. What would you do? Maybe we could add

some pan flute music. We could add pan flute to your song. You want to do another hot on the spot Fletch remix? I was thinking about it. Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, here we go. This is two hours thirty-seven of relaxing pan flute music. Oh, beautiful. Alright, Cara, what is your go-to roadie song

because we're going to play it. It's Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. With pan flute. With pan flute. The pan flute remix. It sounds terrible so far. No.

I'm cutting the pan flute. ZM. No, I'm cutting the pan too much pressure and I'm nervous That's when the taxi man turned on the radio And the Jay-Z song was on And the Jay-Z song was on And the Jay-Z song was on So I put my hands up to play my song The butterflies fly away I'm nodding my head like yeah Moving my hips like yeah

I put my hands up to play my song You know I'm gonna be okay Yeah, it's a party in the USA Yeah, it's a party in the USA Get to the club in my taxi cab Everybody's lookin' at me now Like who's that chick that's rockin' kicks? She gotta be from out of town

So hard with my girls all around me There's definitely not a Nashville party Cause all I see is the letter I guess I never got the memo My tummy's spinning and I'm feeling kinda homesick Too much pressure and I'm nervous Cause when the DJ dropped my favorite tune And the Britney song was on And the Britney song was on

And the Britney song was on And the Britney song was on So I put my hands up to play my song The butterflies fly away Nodding my head like yeah Moving my hips like yeah I put my hands up to play my song And now I'm gonna be okay

Yeah, it's a party in the USA Yeah, it's a party in the USA Feel like I've been on a flight Back to my home town tonight Something stops me every time The DJ plays my song and I feel alright So I put my hands up to play my song The butterflies fly away

I'm nodding my head like yeah Moving my hips like yeah I put my hands like this Moving my hips like yeah I'm not in my head It's the play of my soul You know I'm gonna be okay Yeah It's a party in the USA Yeah

It's a party in the USA I'm not in my head It's the play of my soul The butterflies fly away I'm not in my head like this Moving my hips like yeah It's Miley on ZM, Fleek, Tremor and Megan wrapping up our go-to song, the roadie edition

and tip of the hat as well to any musical artist that features pan flute in their songs. It's very hard to incorporate. Oh, yeah. I think we've all learnt that lesson the hard way this morning. Pan flute. Yeah. A tricky instrument.

I'd put it just behind a speedy 80s sax. Yep, absolutely. Those 80s guys that put a bit of saxophone in their song, they were really hollering on that reed. They knew what they were doing. Yeah, they would have needed to take a break at the chorus and go with their spit valve to empty it because they were going for it. Right now, though, it's time for...

Fact of the Day, Day, Day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about slot machines. Now, just before you get into that Fact of the Day, May I tell the people about the thing we're running at the moment? Okay. Thank you for that. All thanks to Save My Bacon, helping you borrow money online and growing your credit score at the same time.

We have a chance here to win $500 at lunchtime, midday and four o'clock. You've just got to answer a question about this fact of the day. If you can get through and answer that correctly, that cash is yours. Today's fact of the day is about slot machines. The old one-armed bandit.

You know, they... I actually listened to a podcast about the design of them. It was the design of addiction. And how a lot of people, this blew my mind, a lot of people don't even play to win. They play because there's this part of their brain that gets all this pleasure from just seeing the spinning and hearing the noises. You may have noticed like when you win you look at the but like just when they're playing they're also making a series of noises yeah

so yeah i was like oh like i chucked maybe chuck 20 bucks and then if i don't get my 20 bucks back i pack a strop i never go for like two years and i'm gone and i'm very very angry but some people just play to play play to, not play to win. Really? Isn't that something? Yeah. And they've been designed and they're getting more and more crafty to get them to, even when you don't win,

it ticks the boxes that write what you liked about winning the lights, the flashing, the symbols and everything. Because I like the ones sometimes that have cats on them. Because I like cats. And they're designed to get you. Maybe they should play music in pretty lights flashing the symbols and everything. Because I like the ones sometimes that have cats on them. Because I like cats. And they're designed to get you. Maybe they should play music in pretty lights when you do something like eat your veggies or something. Yeah, and then you get addicted to broccoli.

You just eat all the broccoli. So have you ever wondered why the traditional slot machines, not so much anymore, you say like cat themed ones, but a while ago it was all fruit. Like you'd spin up three lemons or three cherries or three apples. That was because the earliest slot machines, the one armed bandits, to get around gambling laws, you didn't actually win money.

You won flavoured chewing gum. Huh. And the cherry was a flavour of chewing gum. All the sort of traditional fruits that spun up were flavoured fruits that could be made for the chewing gum. Right. Of the company that was into it. And you know the one that says bar?

Yep. I always thought that was like gold bars. Yeah. It's not. I mean, you got to pick a bar of chewing gum and you got to pick what flavour you wanted. And so that was a good one because then technically you'd win the one you wanted rather than being given cherry

if you didn't like cherry. So you were putting actual money in gambling for chewing gum. Yes, but winning odds were far higher. Right. And you would win a lot of chewing gum. Right. Yeah, you're right. Like, why would you want that much chewing gum

when you could just buy a roll of chewing gum? So it was to get around gambling laws that said you couldn't have, but then a lot of the times, next door or somewhere in the place with the fruit machines, you could switch that chewing gum for money. Right.

So that was the sneaky one, and they were worth more. And you might be wondering what the bell meant because there was a bell in there as well. That was the Liberty Bell, the big American Liberty Bell, the bell that rung when the English were coming that warned America. So it was the start of the War of Independence in America. So it was a reflective of the bell, which was an icon.

So, yeah. Today's fact of the day is those fruits that traditionally used to pop up on slot machines were flavours of chewing gum that you could win. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Hamiltonian, Letitia, I believe it is said. 38 years old.

She's had a restricted licence for 16 years. Oh, wow. Finally, she's got five kids, but then you can drive with your dependents in your car on your restricted, right? Oh, no, we've talked about this on the show a few times. Just people just don't get round to it. Insurance cheaper? If you've got a full licence? Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Because I know

once you're over 25 it gets cheaper, but is that just presuming that if you're over 25 you've also got a full licence? Maybe, yeah. Hmm. Well, she went to get her full licence because apparently for work, needed her full licence. Pulled into the VTNZ Frankton in Hamilton.

And she was told she'd failed before she even went anywhere. Oh, because I had a friend that didn't have the up-to-date rego. That'll get you. No, it wasn't that. Or an indicator. It wasn't an indicator. It wasn't an indicator, no. No, it wasn't an indicator.

No steering wheel. Oh, actually, there's a photo here. She doesn't have a steering wheel, but no, that's not the reason. Was it something wrong with the car? Yes, but not like mechanically wrong with the car. It wouldn't stop you getting a warrant of fitness. Otherwise, I would have failed my warrant of fitness for this reason. Doesn't it have to fall under the guise of a warrant of fitness failure?

Well, the testing officer said this car is dirty, and because of COVID, I don't feel comfortable getting into a grubby car. Now, I've just sent you guys a picture of the offending front seat. What? You're kidding me. That looks like...

What? That's what she said. I've got kids and a dog, so I don't imagine that... Well, there's a bit of like... A little bit of like, I guess like... A little bit of hair. Hair and specks of dust and dirt and particles

on the floor. But it's not full of rubbish or anything. And the actual seat that you're sitting on looks I'd sit on that. And COVID's not like a dirty car mat. No, it's not on dirt, is it? I would have thought getting into a car with a stranger is risk enough. That's what she said. She said, oh, if that's

if it's COVID, I've just actually coincidentally, I recently had a test and I've been negative and since then, you know, I haven't been associating with anybody with symptoms. He's putting his feet there. So, like, what does that mean? Yeah, the seat looks clean. It looks like to be like a little, maybe that's a mayonnaise stain.

Like, I can see two visual stains on the seat. Now, I believe the front one's a mayonnaise stain because that's like where you'd be sitting and you'd be eating your cheeseburger with more mayo and it would fall down between your legs. This one over to the side, you might have sat in something at the park. Then when you get back into the car, like chewing gum, then you sit in your car and you drag in some chewing gum remnants, but it doesn't look sticky.

I reckon testers would have sat in way worse than that. Yeah. Like, there's no rubbish anywhere. It's just a little bit of dirt. You know, everybody's got a mate that's car and, you know, like the footwell's just like full of takeaways. Yeah. That's what I thought you were incinerating, Vinosh. Not that

bad. No, no, a mate of mine went to sit his full and the person was like, you better clear this out. And so he just like pushed it all into a bag and put it in a bin on the side of the road and then they started the test. Yeah, no, a mate of mine went to sit his full and the person was like, you better clear this out. And so he just like pushed it all into a bag and put it in a bin on the side of the road and then they started the test. Yeah, right. And he passed. So she's going to have to pay all over again. Yeah. That's rough. Like

at least reschedule her. Yeah, yeah, I would have thought rescheduling. Like that's not on her. Yeah. And if you're scared of COVID, don't get someone else, Don't be a tester Or take your own safety stuff to work Yeah, exactly But anyway

Maybe if you're setting your full licence Sometime soon and you fail Because you didn't stop at the stop sign Just say you failed because of COVID Sure ZM's Fletch Warner Megan The podcast Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Santa! Hi, Santa! It's 108 days, 15 hours and 8 minutes until Christmas. You can't tell me that that little ditty in the background doesn't get you just a little bit jazzed. It confuses my body clock. Okay. It feels like last Christmas.

I gave you my heart. It feels like last Christmas was, I don't know, man. It's coming fast. 20 days away from daylight savings. Yes. So three weeks yesterday. Three weeks yesterday. Yeah.

Good Lord. Well, it started to roll in, and for a while I was telling people, not now. Not now. That's what I was saying when it came to the Christmas reports. I was like, it's not the time. Yeah. Not now. For those new to the show, we've done this for the last how many Christmases?

Forever. Yeah, as long as I can remember. Yeah, at least seven or eight Christmases. Seven or eight years we've done this. And we've been keeping a tally. A daily. Yeah, we've got every year going back at what the penetration, the Christmas penetration is right now.

And do you think because of COVID it's less? Correct. It's taken longer for it to poke its head up and it is significantly less than it has been previous years. But I don't know, maybe that's going to mean a really sharp uptake. Yeah, right.

In October and November. I just realised I've got one to add to this list. A personal one. It might affect penetration. Do you want to add it now or do you want to add it at the end? Yesterday, for Father's Day, we did our secret Santas.

We all drew our secret Santas. So we know who we've got for Christmas. Oh, God, you're way too organised. Is this for the Andrews family? Yeah. Because we need to, like, there's a lot going on. We were like, let's get in early. Make sure that if anyone's getting anything sent online, you can get it in time.

It's Father's Day. Yeah. We're not in Halloween yet. You can't be Secret Santa-ing. We're doing it. Well, a report in that last Friday at my work, writes Teal, and they work at Bunnings by the looks of things,

we put our Christmas lights from last year on display. For sale. I was going to say last year on display. For sale. I was going to say for sale? Yeah, for sale. Sort of maybe a get rid of last season's Christmas lights situation. So there's Christmas lights for sale. Does that mean we should wait for the new range of Christmas lights? No, because they'll be full price.

Has there been a huge advancement in technology in Christmas lights over the last 12 months? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe these scientists have been pulled into help with the COVID thing. Maybe there's extra blue, green, red flashing. I don't know.

This is my shtick. You'll always get, now's the time where you get like Christmas decorations and stuff for half price. You want your Christmas lights this year to be yellow and white and diagonal and when you turn it on, it does the COVID-19 announcement.

And triggers you into the fetal position on it does the COVID-19 announcement. And triggers you into the fetal position. This is a COVID-19 update. This is really ruining Christmas. And then immediately we also received a report that they had indeed spotted those lights for sale at Bunnings. Oh, okay.

Howick, not to be left out, have added an event they will be having the Howick Village Christmas Fair on Friday the 20th of November this year. Kicking off at 5.30. COVID and social distancing. Applicable. Yep.

Permitting. Yeah. I mean, you've got to plan events. Like we said before, you've got to have something to look forward to. It doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen. This one from the Cattery at Balmoral. There's a picture of a cat with a Christmas hat on. It said, Christmas is coming far too fast.

And where is your cat going to spend it? Book now to make sure you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Probably at home with me. We won't be going anywhere. I forgot I have a cat now. Yeah, but where are you going? Nowhere. New Plymouth?

You and Major Mary Fluffington could do a road trip together. You can be at your home with your family on Christmas Day for once. Yeah. Bev won't know what to do with herself seeing her actual son

on actual Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Wow. Listen how excited you are about it. From one side of Auckland to the other, the Torbay Fruit Shop have said, is it too early for Advent Calendar?

We have them available now in store anyway. God, supermarkets will be having those up soon. Yeah, it's a race to the bottom. And this one from Countdown but falling under the Woolworths brand. Okay. Candy Cane Star Cookies. So they're cookies in the shape of a star with broken bits of candy cane in them. Black peppermint cookies. Pretty good. They good?

Yep. They good? All right. Well, with all the spotting and Megan dishing out secret Santa amongst the family. We're getting warmer. Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 9%. Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Christmas penetration is at 9% It is

beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Alright if you see any reports of Christmas you can send them in to us FBMZM on Facebook ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too. Subscribe

on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM