ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 7th September 2021

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

Celeb Naked Attraction  Top 6: Aucklanders  Dental Hygiene during Lockdown  Vaughans Rake  Lockdown Categories  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, Barista Made Coffee, from Drive Thru and McDelivery in Level 3. Yeah, I'm off home today for a bit more gardening. The weather is going to turn.

Yeah, it's supposed to rain, isn't it? Yeah. Are you going to go out in your raincoat? From lunchtime, it's going to pour down. Oh, is it? Well, I guess I'll just be having a drink and watching some television. Oh, well, I tried my best. I was going to, but look at it.

Yeah, it's full of bits out there. Yeah. Yeah, but that'll be a good excuse for Sharts as well, who said yesterday, literally, I was like, oh, what are you doing? I said, I'm going to go out. I'm not going to go for a run today. I'm going to go and do the gardening instead. Okay.

It was a fair bit of digging. I'll say there was some sweating. Okay. And she said, oh, okay. Okay, I'll be out in a minute. I'll give you a hand. I'll be out in a minute. Weird.

She never turned up. I was out there from one o'clock till sundown. So like five hours. I stopped for a cuppa. Yeah. But no, she never came. I waited and I waited and I waited. And then it got to the end of it and I walked in literally five hours later.

I said, were you going to come out and help? She said, oh, I forgot. I said, so when you looked out the window and saw me out there, you never like recharged your memory as to be like, oh, that's right. I said I was going to help do that. She was like, nah. So, oh, well, if it's raining, that's an easy excuse for her not to come and help then. I like that she offered, though.

The thought that counts, right? It was the thought that counts. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Two minutes past six. Good morning. Hey, I've got a

sock on here. I've got a pop sock on my microphone. Ooh, take that off. I know, who's that? Listen. Oh, it's like taking a, oh yeah, listen to that. Roar, Smith. Straight in your ear. Roar,

Vaughan Smith, just the way we like it. Yeah, roar. Roar, baby. Raw Vaughan Smith. Just the way we like it. Yeah. Raw. Raw, baby. Okay. Good. That's second carol. You're ready to go. Problem of my soul for the day.

Problem of my soul for the day. Ready to do it. From level four. What's in your Facebook memories today? Do you like to always go into those to start the day? This is how we start the day? This is how we start the day when the first song's playing. Oh, it was four years ago today

that... It was seven years ago today that Megan took her shoes off on a 787 and it stunk real bad. So that must mean tomorrow's Ariana Grande day. The anniversary of seeing...

Oh, when we flew to see Ariana Grande. Oh, when we flew overseas. Meeting the Grande. She was so lovely. That's the main one. That's the main memory today. Okay.

Yeah. Ooh, parties. Remember them? Horrible. Affairs with far too many people. God, we were playing fast and loose with group gatherings there. Oh, seven years ago. it was a different time. It was just a different time.

It was just a different world that we lived in. Well, tonight, 11.59, the rest of the country outside of Auckland gets to move to a level two. I'm so happy for you. So happy for you. I felt like a real bitch yesterday watching that. I was like, you bloody... Yeah, it's hard when we're not all doing it together. And everyone on the news is like, I can't wait for burgers.

It's like... We've got burgers at home. Basically, living with my mum was like level four the whole time. Don't you takeaways? What are you there for? We've got perfectly good buns at home. Well, you were stranded on the farm. Of course it was like that.

A little bit of level four. You all needed a bit of level four, didn't you? The top six is coming up on the show. And it will be dealing with it as well. The top six ways of showing compassion to your Auckland friends as you enter level two, but they stay exactly where they are. Yeah. Next on the show.

There's a popular TV show that wanted to do a celebrity version, but it's been cancelled because not enough celebs were into it. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Naked Attraction. You've all watched today. Oh, yeah. It's a good show. I love it.

The best episode is that 60-something-year-old church organist. Yes. What's her name? Janet or something? Yes. And she plays the organ, pun completely not intended, and not even factual, an actual organ at a church. She's a full-blown member of the church's fundraising committee,

but she's got a kink. She's a horny old dog. And she goes out there, and the minute it's like she's got a kink and she's a horny old dog. And she goes out there and the minute it's like, she's a bit coy, but the minute it gets to the nether region, she's... Oh, she's all about it.

She's like a snapper on a burly trail. She's on the hunt. I don't know how anyone goes on that show. Like, I just, I couldn't. Absolutely not. Yeah. Like, all power to people Absolutely not. Yeah. Like all power to people that do. Yeah.

Because it's a great watch. I love watching it, but yeah, I couldn't go on it. I think it's a great watch because it shows you so many different body types. Yeah. And then you try and pick who you think they're going to pick, and they never pick who you think they're going to. And you're like, they're into that. That's cool.

You know what I mean? You're just literally like, everyone likes different things. Everyone has different things. I think it's great and healthy. However, I would never do it. And they wanted to do a celebrity version. So like get celebs to strip off. The charity.

The charity. But you'd still be seeing their bits. And so this is why it got canned because they only, after months of chats with celebrities, they couldn't get anyone on board. No, that's a lie. They could get,

they got a broadcaster, India Willoughby. She was keen to do it. She was like, while my body still looks like this, I'll be keen. But she was the only one. They couldn't even get like

Old Big Brother or Love Island or any of those reality show people. Yeah, but they I mean, they show a lot of their body, but they don't show everything. Yeah, that's true. And then once you show it, it's there forever.

It's going to be on the internet forever. 100%. Just opening as a celebrity, even more so opening yourself And then once you show it. It's there forever. It's going to be on the internet forever. A hundred percent. Just opening as a celebrity, even more so opening yourself up for judgment. And ridicule, yeah. You're expected to be perfect. Yeah. Because everyone would have comment because they all know who you are. Well, adult movie stars could do it, but then, yeah. What's the, eh?

And that's an unfair representation. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So, I mean, it's cute that they an unfair representation. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So, I mean, it's cute that they thought that was going to take off, but... I wonder who they asked. Or did they just say,

approach us if you would like to know. Or they did just go like, let's just hit the Big Brother circuit. Let's hit the... Because they'd get an appearance fee, right? Surely there'd be some... Surely. Surely there'd be some celebs that would be for charity, wouldn't it?

But like how much money would they have to pay you to do that? Also, you are asking these celebrities after 18 months of lockdown in the UK to show their bodies. I've said before there's not much I wouldn't do for a million dollars, but I don't think I'd do that. The slow reveal, you've got to stand there and you know it's getting to your jennies. But do you reckon the air's warm? And then you're eliminated first.

No, we talked to someone and they said it was cold. Oh, you know, because then it'll go up. It'll shrink. It wouldn't affect me. You'd have to give it a quick warm-up before the... But then you don't want to go too far in your warm-up. Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, oh, God. Oh, no. No. quick warm up before the but then you don't want to go too far in your warm up oh yeah exactly yeah oh god oh

no absolutely not play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan a new study has been published and it shows that surrounding yourself with friends and family who actively listen to you when you're venting when you're just having a whinge

having a moan, having a vent, that helps you build cognitive resilience. And so simply put, that just means someone's ability to retain their mental sharpness as they age. Oh. I feel like a lot of the people that I surround myself with glaze over when I'm having a vent. You too. But is it active listening or do we have to actively listen? Also I feel there's got to be a good balance right? You can't just

be the person that's, you know this sounds bad but you know like you might have a friend that they do nothing but whinge Yeah. And you've actually in the larger scheme of things don't really have too much to whinge about. Yeah. You're all good. Yeah. Don't get me wrong everyone needs a whinge. Yeah. Every now and then you just need a little event, a to whinge about. Yeah. You're all good. Yeah. Don't get me wrong. Everyone needs a whinge.

Yeah. Every now and then you just need a little event, a little whinge, get it all out. But don't be the person that just actively looks for things to whinge about because you're not a heck of a lot of fun to conversate with. But we're listening. No. It did feel very pointed at you.

Yeah, I was like, just look at me. No, you see people glaze over. I don't know when I glaze over. It's because, like, somebody who just look at this stuff. No, you said people glaze over and I know when I glaze over it's because like somebody who just loves a whinge is having a whinge. It's good to check.

It's important to check. Yeah, you've got to run it through a sieve. Yeah, and pick out the stuff that didn't go through the sieve. That's not worth whinging about. That was a weird metaphor. I don't know why

I picked a sieve. So... But you just basically let your friends have a whinge and a venti-renown. Again, it's good for them. I don't think. Are you allowed to rag on them in return?

Because that's quite often what our lads group is. Someone will have a vent and then everyone just sets upon them for having a whinge about something that wasn't even that big a deal. Well, you listen to them and sort out their cognitive functions and then you bring it back down to earth.

And that keeps them mentally sharp as well because they've got to be retorting as three other dudes are just sitting on them. And humble. Yeah. I don't know how healthy that is but sure. 20 past 60, top six is next. Yeah the top six ways of showing compassion to your Auckland friends

as you sons of bitches enter level two. Some of us are still stuck in level four. Yeah. From the first class ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Te Rua Toruwha. Four. Four level Auckland. Rua to the rest of the country as of midnight tonight.

And it'll be a new Delta level two as well. Yeah. It's a little bit different. Masks are mandatory. Sign-ins. Do it.

Yep. And before you have a whinge think about those in Auckland that are still in level four. Shut your face. Top six ways of showing compassion

to your Auckland friends as you enter level two. Oh, that's such a joke. No one's showing us compassion. Wait, is this serious? Yes. Okay. Number six.

Remind them that the house they live in is probably worth twice as much as yours so it's nice they're getting to spend twice as much time at theirs. If they own it or if they rent it, they're probably paying more, so it's nice that they are getting to spend more time there. It's lovely, sure. And then your friends and crushes should have a much nicer house than you

and paid much less for it. But. Yeah, what? I don't know. But. You're trying here. Yeah. Just a bit of compassion here.

Number five on the list of the top six ways of showing compassion to your Auckland friends as you enter level two, you should totally send them videos of you at one of the many ski resorts that can be open under level two. Enjoying that snow. Just remind them how cold snow is and how much they hate it

and how Auckland's subtropical. Is there a bit of a wintry dump this week? The weather's packing in, isn't it? Good for the ski fields to finally get open. Number 4 on the list are the top 6 ways of showing compassion

to your Auckland friends as you enter level two. Send them a photo of your worst workmate that you're back at work with. Meanwhile, they're still working from home with the best workmate. Booze. Booze at hand. I think you're about to say your wife or your partner. So did I. Or their children.

But anyway, drinking, day drinking. They can't do it anymore. Number three on the list of the top six ways of showing compassion to your Auckland friends

as you enter level two. Get your hair cut. Hell, get it dyed. It's what your Auckland friends would want for you. As that box of L'Oreal hair dye and some blunt scissors start looking more and more

appealing for them. Where they're like, maybe we'll just do it. Maybe we'll just do it. Yeah. How bad can it be? Maybe we'll just do it. Later in the show,

we're actually going to talk to a hairdresser because they've got a whole lot of new rules. Yeah. If you're going out tomorrow to get a haircut and a whole lot of people,

this would have been their haircut period. It's been in lockdown so they'll be gagging to get the roots done. Number two on the list of the top six ways of showing compassion to your Auckland friends as you enter level two.

Send them a video of you eating takeaways saying it's yuck and they wouldn't like them anyway. Same goes for a nice coffee or even a sit-down restaurant with social distancing. Yeah. Tell them it's not as nice, it's noisy. It's not as nice as at home

where you can see the TV and watch the news while you have your dinner. And number one on the list of the top six ways of showing compassion to your Auckland friends as you enter level two, get to the gym. Start working on that summer bod because I swear, I swear when they open here,

all the hottest girls and boys are going to be going hard as a mother. Watch out, rest of New Zealand. It's hot Auckland summer, and you know Aucklanders love travelling over summer to all those beaches that you go to. And when it's level one, those 09 hot bodies are going to be coming to your beaches, snapping up your

gals' eyeballs, having your men's eyes on their shapely cabooses. Run, bitch! Run! We'll give you a head start! I'm going to mow you down! That is today's top six. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. It's Conservation Week.

This weekend kicks off Conservation Week. Yay. Why are we clapping? Yeah, clap. Clap for nature. I don't know. Conservation. Clap for nature.

Set a possum trap. Kill a rat. Yep. That's my ideas. Kill a rat. Yep. That's my ideas. Do your bit. Yeah, I moved the rat trap yesterday because I haven't had any action on the rat trap for a while. Right. So I moved it and I had to catch more rats.

These levels, we weren't able to go to stay in dock hunts where we get out into nature. You're not allowed to. You're not meant to. No, no, no, no. God, that'd be perfect. Just go find a dock hunt for a couple of weeks. Here's why a trip to a dock hunt when the levels allow is a great idea. There was a study into this.

There was market research done. 3,900 people took part in it. And from there, a focus group was put forward. Okay. If you've never been in a focus group, it's where someone with a pre-existing idea of what the answer should be pretty much bribes you and shapes you into giving them that answer so they can go back to management and say, see, people agreed with me.

And that's what a focus group is. Yeah. It's a very cynical take on a focus group, Vaughn. Oh, heck no. No one's ever been led in a focus group. Or they plant a person in there that's hotter than everybody else. And we all know when you're in a group with hot people, you tend to agree with them because deep down you're like, maybe I could sleep with them if I agree with them. Yeah, that's why on that jury we all know when you're in a group with hot people you tend to agree with them because deep down you're like maybe I could sleep with them

if I agree with them. Yeah, that's why on that jury we all went for murder. Yeah. She was like I just want out of here. He's guilty. We were like

he is. She'd been in FHM. Yeah. This is a wild story. It was a while ago too judging by that magazine reference. Yep. So embracing the outdoors

is good for your resilience in these challenging times Those with access to green spaces locally or gardening who got out and did a bit of gardening were better suited to cope with challenging times, 45% of them Okay

58% of respondents who said they were enthusiastic outdoor types said they were more comfortable facing the challenges that were facing us in a global pandemic. While 36% of people who had less regular access to the outdoors said that they were coping and felt comfortable with it. So yeah, all signs point towards if you get outside and embrace nature a little bit more, you're less worried about the stresses that come with lockdowns. But then that's unusual, isn't it? Because I would have thought if you were a real outdoorsy type, when you get locked inside, you'd hate it.

And you would be absolutely itching to get out there and get into the outdoors and do something outside. But apparently not. Apparently if it's just your love of it and you've been out there previously and you've got some green spaces to tinker around in when it's all good. I did some gardening yesterday.

I've just got a sore back. And I'm very, very tired. So what's the moral of that story? Don't bother. I feel less. See, you wouldn't have injured yourself on the PlayStation. Absolutely not. God, I would have had some adventures too

and probably a green space. Yeah. There's that lawnmower simulator game coming out soon that I keep getting tagged. What? Really? Yeah. So from what I can gather about reading about this game is you take over this property with a bad lawn and you've pretty much got to nurse the lawn back down.

Oh my God. There's going to be so many people that isn't it. With mowing and fertilising. Is this aerating rolling? Is this a phone app or PlayStation? It's on like the next generation consoles. Oh my God. I could see you doing that.

Do you get weeds and stuff? Yeah, of course you do. It's a lawn. It's a lawn. You've got to come maybe do a spot spray or a specific weed removal. Oh my God. Wow. I mowed my lawns the other day and I was like,

you're right, now it's happening because we're going to get that spring growth. I've got to get my roller. I know, but don't tell me it compacts the soil because I'm also going to get an aerator, which pops little air holes in it. It's the nutrients down to the root. Can I just walk on the grass with rugby boots on or something? To aerate it?

Yeah. Oh, you'd probably need longer sprigs, longer spikes. Apparently this game, you've got to mow the lawns at specific lengths. Within a time limit, you get docked points for running over the flower beds. Right. So you've got to be careful. And you get judged. I'm like, because you know on the rugby games when you see the grounds

and it's got the pattern and it's been mowed in two different directions. Yeah, you get extra points for that too, I think. Wow. If I get this game, I'm going to be in so much trouble Because I've got a lawn to mow Yeah man You're spending more time And I'm spending all my time

Mowing a virtual lawn Yeah Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan Yesterday we Brutally the news That Australians And particularly

Those living in Victoria Melbourne Yeah For example Are not brushing their teeth During lockdown They're only doing it Yeah they're not routinely Brushing their teeth during lockdown. They're only doing it.

Yeah, they're not routinely brushing their teeth like they would when they wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. Yeah. And they grab their glasses and they're out to hit the city. Brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack. They're not doing it. They're not routinely brushing their teeth. They brush it when it feels furry or when they look at themselves in the mirror and feel disgusted.

That sort of thing. And that was 50% of Australians in lockdown. So we asked you, we're just interested to see if New Zealanders are still brushing their teeth. Yeah. 95% said yes. That's good to know. That's good.

But should we have maybe been more specific? Because we asked, are you still brushing your teeth? It doesn't say how many times a day. Are you still brushing your teeth? It doesn't say how many times a day. Are you still brushing your teeth twice a day? Yeah. But it was so grim that 5% were like, nah. Nah, I'm brushing my teeth. Yeah. Nah, I'm grim. I'm yuck.

I wasn't brushing them beforehand, maybe. I don't know. When you just feel they're furry, you're just like, oh, I should probably brush them. Nah, it's time for a brush. How are you not wearing a mask? I mean, is that the other thing? Well, if you're staying at home, you're not wearing a mask, are you? But at least you're going out for exercise, right? Yeah.

Or to the supermarket. And even if you're not going to work, surely you've still got the routine of getting up, brushing your teeth. Nah. Like having a shower, brushing your teeth, or eating breakfast, then brushing your teeth. But people know that brushing your teeth isn't for other people, like to stop you having bad breath. It's for your own dental hygiene, right?

Yeah, mostly for other people, don't worry. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. So in case you are not in a happy relationship or you're wondering if you're in a happy relationship, I can give you five things couples do in a happy relationship. Do you not have the list? Is that what's happened here? Is that why you're doing that thing?

She's really born this way. You've really pulled a Vaughn. Except I would be able to pad adequately or I'd just make them up on the spot. I'd make up this has happened before, I just can't find it so I'll just like make up five things that people in long happy relationships do. But I tell you what, leave it to the old sexy wheelbarrow. I'll do some

absolutely flawless padding while you load up that list which I can see by the way your eyes are darting around your screen. You've been sent the link now. You're opening it up but you're gonna need a probably i reckon 15 to 20 seconds to kind of like oh old pad we've just been invited to a forced zoom no it's not zoom it's another app hey yo that um that website's a bit weird because it won't, is it? It says it's dodgy.

There's nipples. This is going well, isn't it? Why don't you just tell us, you've been in a relationship for 12 years, what do five things people do in happy relationships? Do what you're told. Mostly do what you're told. Every now and then put up a little bit of fake resistance

just to, that's more for yourself than anything. They'll hate it, but then they'll know that they don't have to push too hard to just push you over on it. Don't leave wet stuff on the floor. That's a big one. I mean, that works both ways. That's not always just men who do that.

I kind of feel like these would have been a little bit more, you know, like deep. Poke them in the ribs every now and then. Okay. Just so they're like, ah! And you're like, ha, ha, ha, yeah. Do your chores. Eat all your dinner. Wait a minute.

That's five. That's children. Eat your dinner's five. Is that okay? That's good enough. You'll be happy to know I've got the actual list, but I don't know if you... You might prefer Vaughn's. You better make it smart now. One!

There's zero judgment. This is how you know you're in a happy relationship, by the way. This is the list we were... No, you've got to ask if they want judgment or not. This took a long time for me to learn, but sometimes when they're asking you a question, you've got to ask them the question

do you want me to just agree with you is this a trap or do you want my actual like opinion oh like when she asked you what about fittings and stuff for the renovations yeah i was like you just want me to agree with you right so then later on i i don't have a leg to stand on if i say i don't really like that tap will you agree to it no well i don't agree a leg to stand on if I say I don't really like that tap. Will you agree to it? No, well, I don't agree to it because I knew anything I would have put forward would have been absolutely poo-poo. So just agree with them. Okay.

That's it. Well, you can ask, do you actually want my opinion or do you just want me to agree with you? Okay. That sounds very passive aggressive. It is. You have discussions, not fight. No, no, that's not right either.

A full-blown argument. Ending in some sort of storm off. Stand off. Oh, you were going to say hot sex. Silent treatment. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. I'm glad that you've said that because I've never engaged in, like, make-up. Who does? Because when the silent treatment finally ends, you're talking, but it's still, you know.

Yeah, it's eggshells. You've got to work with it. But I was talking to someone once, they're like, oh, yeah, we had a fight. We just, like, the fight just turned into the craziest, like, make up sex. I was like, how does that happen? You guys aren't fighting right.

Someone hasn't called someone else a psycho, I don't think. I thought that was just the movies. Stop acting like a psycho. You're not having make makeup sex after that. You're a crazy bitch. You have not called her a crazy bitch. Only when she calls me an effing psycho. Oh, my God.

Because she knows I hate that. Wow. Stop acting like an effing psycho. There's mutual support in the relationship. Yeah, I get that. Only when it's about hating the same people. God, that person Drives me crazy

Oh my god I was just thinking that Oh my god I can't stand it When they don't hate Someone with you Yeah You go to a party And you're like

I'm not talking to them And then they talk to them You're like That is betraying That should be in marriage vows Excuse me For sickness For poor

For poorer Blah blah blah And in health And we've just got to Agree to hate the same people Like what are you Talking to them for You know I'm not Talking to them They're like Yeah but I am You're like for poorer blah blah blah and in health and we've just got to agree to hate the same people. Like what are you talking to them for? You know I'm not talking to them.

They're like yeah but I am. You're like. I wouldn't even. No no no. Our agreeing on hating people you'd never even cross paths with. You are frequently intimate. With yourself. As long as someone's getting off.

It doesn't matter how. It really doesn't. And the final one, in ways you know you're in a happy relationship, there is unwavering mutual respect. Why are you people doing that? You've just described five of the most annoying qualities of a couple. If you saw someone carrying on like that, you're like, this is never going to last.

Everybody's putting in too much effort. And, I mean, he has been married a long time now. It's true. I mean, I don't have the greatest track record. Yeah. By the way, you can now pre-order my fourth cunning book. Vaughn Smith. Yeah.

If you're having to try too hard, it's probably not worth it. And it's not just about relationships. It's just about anything in life. Life in general. Yeah, okay, great. Alright, well, we've recovered from that, Vaughn. We got there, didn't we? Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Yesterday, I was doing some gardening.

Because, why not? What else was I going to do? Level four. Plus, I just like gardening, so whatever. You do love it. Love it. As out there. Green fingers smithies, they call you.

You know, heating in the spring, I thought it's just time I zhooshed up around the base of the fruit trees. I don't have any blood and bone, though. You know, I'd love to scatter a bit of blood and bone on there. Anyway, um, I was zhooshing up around the base of the fruit trees, which involves... The base of the... Yeah, right, at the bottom. So I bark around the bottom there.

Mulch helps it keep a little bit of moisture over summer. Okay. Good, and you can add a little bit of furt in there and it slowly releases down into the soil. But, you know, that cheeky kui grass we've got, that sneaks in there and makes it all messy. So I was like, I'm going to clean this up. So I cleaned up and I had some mulch, so I put some new mulch around.

Now part of mulching is spreading it all out with a rake. Oh, yeah. And I was getting myself all organized and the rake was on the ground. Prongs, is that what we call the things on a rake? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Prongs up. Not one of those rakes that fans out. Not a leaf rake. A leaf rake. A rake rake. A rake rake? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Prongs up. Not one of those rakes that fans out.

Not a leaf rake. A leaf rake. A rake rake. A rake rake, yeah. A proper, like, garden rake? Yeah. I don't have a rake rake.

You don't have a rake rake? No, just a leaf rake. Yeah, I don't think you need a rake rake. 90% of what you'd be doing is leaf rake stuff. Yeah, right. Because you can't,

just like you can't rake leaves with a rake rake. Yeah. Because it gets caught in the grass. I don't even have a rake rake. Yeah. Because it gets caught in the grass. I don't even have a rake rake or a rake. Or a leaf rake. Rake feels weird now. You have absolutely zero use for a rake.

I know. Or a leaf blower. Is rake the one? If you had a leaf blower, I'd be like, why has he got a leaf blower? Unless you just took it upon yourself to clean up the council park by your house. Sure. How weird does rake feel now that we've said it so many times? Rake, rake.

Yeah, rake, rake. I need to know the origins of the word rake. Feels. How weird does rake feel now that we've said it so many times? Rake, rake. Yeah, rake, rake. I need to know the origins of the word rake. Feels Greek, but only probably because of the common k sound of rake in Greek. What do you got? Latin? Who invented it? The Egyptians? Just keep naming.

It could be of Asian origin because, you know, the old Zen gardens, the Japanese Zen gardens with the sand, they've always been fairly rake. Germanic. Germanic word. Does that mean German? Yeah. Oh, does it, Megan? I don't know.

There's a big stretch there. Why did you say Germanic? Why did you say Germanic? No, it's not German. It's Germanic. How did you get to German? Shit. I don't know. I might be going in on a limb here. Guys, guys, guys. Why did you get to German? No, it's not German. It's Germanic. How did you get to German? Shit. I might be going in on a limb here.

Guys, guys, guys. Who says it's Germanic? Stop. Who says it's Germanic? I'm going to get this Germanic. We can't finalise the divorce until after level four. We've got to make it through. Who says it's Germanic?

We've got to. No, they say Germanic. Megan, they do. I'm going to have this Germanic beer. No, that's German. That's a different time. Germanic is of the area. It's like old.

It's like Latin. It's old. I need to see other people. Me too. So the origin was Germanic and then Old English. Raka, Raku. And then Dutch, Rak. And then it's become rake.

I love knowing the origins of rake. We've got there now, and I'm so educated for it. So you're playing with a rake. And you're educated even more now because of Germanic. The rake's prongs up. Yep. And I take a step backwards. Okay.

And stand on the rake. Like in a cartoon from the 1950s, I'm Alma Fudd. Yeah. And that wascoey wabbit has popped a rake down. It comes up. I feel, I'm like, oh, what have I stood on? And I turn to look and it smacks me so hard in the side, I'm immediately like.

You were lucky it wasn't your face. I know. It stopped here. It came right close to my face. Kind of on your upper ribs on the side. From down here, I can feel it still. It just was such a hard whack. Because you've put all your weight onto that.

I put all my weight. I stepped back like a bit of a... And all my weight went on this rake, and it just went smack. And I was like... Man, that would have looked cool. I wish that was a video. Guy stands on rake.

Would have got so many views. But I can see, like, if it had smacked you, if it's caught you in the face. You'd be out. It would break your nose. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Rakes, as the old German saying goes.

Fast. I think you mean German. Origins. You do mean German. No, it's Germanic. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. I feel the wheels are falling off today. Relax, baby.

I got you. I got you. Just relax. I feel the wheels are falling off the show today. I'm going to teach you how to swim. You just relax. On your back. Look up at the sky.

Breathe. Push your hips up. For some reason, it makes me so nervous. We're floating, baby. Relax, baby. You've won. Relax, baby. I got you, baby.

I've seen you swim. You are the last. I've seen you nearly drown. You are the last person that needs to be teaching swimming. You need to relax, baby. Very rarely do you panic, but in water. I'm a panicky man. I was like, I can get to that bay over there.

I don't think you can. It always looks closer than it is on the sea. Yep. And it was cold. That was cold. And then when I was in, I was like, oh, I'd forgotten about sharks. I was a good friend that day and I didn't laugh at you. I got there, though, and I got back.

Just a wee little bit. But, you know, no one else jumped in that freezing cold water. I would have if you'd gone under. I would have liked to have think so. Hey, Rarotonga, the Cook Islands have been so lucky on the COVID side of things.

No COVID infections whatsoever. They have absolutely smashed the vaccination too. I think it was like 96% of adults had been vaccinated. That's so good. They're a sensible people. They're a good bunch of folks. I love them. They're good.

Well, they have said now, if you can't prove that you're vaccinated, you will not be allowed to stay at the Rarotongan. Which is the biggest one. One of their biggest resorts. Do you think this will be the case for the whole country? Well, I mean, if you've got 96% of your population agreeing to be vaccinated and already vaccinated, why not?

Yeah, just to open up. Open it to people, but only those who are vaccinated who can provide a negative COVID test as well. Because that's the other thing. You still don't want it there that's the other thing. Yeah. You still don't want it there if it can be avoided. Yeah. But with vaccination rates like that,

you can totally see why they've got the power to say, no, you can't come here without a vaccine. You can't destroy our little beautiful pearl in the Pacific with your lack of vaccinations. Now I'm looking at the map and I'm thinking there's the mooring and I could go fish burger. It's a great place, eh? Yeah, beautiful island. And if I'm there at the same time as you, I'll teach you to swim.

Just relax, baby. Absolutely not. It's no surprise that we are hitting the screen time real hard. It was, what, Monday yesterday is when the Apple screen time reports come out, nine o'clock, you get the day. Mine had increased a little bit. Yeah, let's not talk about it.

Yeah, you were upset about that yesterday. Well, no, I'm actually about to talk about it. Oh, okay, let's talk about it. 94% of the New Zealand population is on the internet and the average screen time is seven hours online a day you were five seven yeah it's up to five i don't think i've ever breached five as an average but i did last week and it was yeah

i did not like it what was after a week into lockdown carl wayne at the social media desk it is your job um a weekend what was your screen time? It was phenomenal, wasn't it? Yeah, it was like 60 hours or something. In a week? Yeah. What was yesterday's report? Daily was 9 hours and 40 minutes. That's more than 60 hours then. Yeah, probably. That's on

your phone. As we've talked about before, I do use it for Netflix and stuff like that. How many hours was it again? A day? Nine hours, 40. It's 20 minutes shy every I've been, so 70 minus 65.8.

That's exactly what I was going to say. Proud of myself. It's your PB. You did better. Yay! Wow, that's confronting, isn't it? Is it better? It's your PB. You did better. Yay. Wow, that's confronting, isn't it? Is it better? It's more than 60, so yes. Yeah, no, but is it better?

It's a higher number, but is it better? No, I think that's why we were ironically claiming. Oh, you're being sucky. You missed that. Yeah, yeah. New Zealand Post says that 170,000 Kiwis tried shopping online for the first time. Oh my gosh. Wow, really?

Okay. Hans, come on over. It's good stuff. And the most popular websites within the last year. Do you want to? There's one, two, three, four, five, six. In the past year? Within the past year.

There's six of them. Yes, that's in there. Are you kidding me? That's in the top five websites Top six Yep Pornhub I can't hear you Why is that surprising you

Pornhub What Pornhub Pornhub Oh I can Yeah right okay What number is that on the list Which is where you go

To get new hubcaps For your For your Porsche These aren't necessarily Listed in order. Okay. So I don't know where that sits in the order. This is just the top six.

So yes, that's in there. Reddit, Trade Me, Facebook, New Zealand Herald, and YouTube. Well, that's great for the company. Great for the company, isn't it? Great for the company. I'm always pleased to hear the company's doing well. But you can check out the latest on all the COVID information at the nzherald.co.nz. Nzherald.

So yeah, we spend three hours streaming TV as well, 42 minutes playing online games and 58 minutes reading mass media that's on average a day. Right. But someone on TikTok said that everyone falls into kind of two categories when it comes to lockdown. Okay. You are either hitting the screen time,

the average is seven hours a day, or you're hitting your 10,000 steps. So people go one way or the other. Can I say both? Yeah, because I did like 20,000 steps yesterday and I did a lot of screen time. Wow. Okay.

Tell everybody about your walk. No, I just went for a big walk. He went for a massive walk. Because I was listening to the new podcast that you recommended. Great podcast. Great podcast. Better make you think about how you think. What's it called again?

Cautionary Tales. Cautionary Tales. With Tim Harford. He's got a lovely voice. He's got a lovely voice. Lovely voice. Very calming. But very well.

Articulated. Spoken. Yes, that's the word I was after. He's a a lovely voice. Lovely voice. British. Very calming, but very well- Articulated. Spoken. Yes, that's the word I was after. He's a speak well man. Right, so you want to know what people are falling under. Which category? I actually am proud to say this time I'm doing the exercise rather than the screen time.

That's why it's taken me so long to get through Love Island. It's because you've got the Pepper's Pump House. Yeah. And you've got the home gym. Getting it and taking baby beef for walks and stuff. Good to get out there for a walk. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, apparently we fit into two categories. So which one do you fit into?

The 10,000 steps a day or the 10,000 hours on the internet a day? Alright, well do you want to take some calls? Yeah. Let's see where we are as a nation. So, so you want to take some calls? Yeah. Let's see where we are as a nation. So apparently Kiwi's fit into two categories

during lockdown. Either you're the get active and get outside type or you are the watching heaps of stuff online type. Yeah,

some messages in. Someone said, weirdly, a foot in both camps. Doing 10,000 steps a day because I just have to take myself out and go for a walk

but my screen time has almost doubled according to the report. And then you're like, how do I find time to do both of these? But again, I think someone messaged in

saying that's because they don't have kids. Yeah. That'll do it. Someone said, definitely screen time. I'm actually embarrassed they won't even tell you

how much it's got to. Is it more than Carl went at the social media desk? Got to be. 65 hours a week. Every waking hour. Yeah, they're always on it. To stop myself from eating all the food in the house, I go for a walk.

My average step count at the moment is 36,000 steps a day. Whoa. Whoa. That's nuts. Even with that many steps, you can probably afford to eat some of that food. I'm still working working I'm a nurse I'm hitting 10,000 steps Per shift

In Crocs Absolutely of course Absolutely Hope so Crocs and socks That's good The combo But too tired to watch anything

So You're doing amazing work Yeah thanks for your service Yeah But yeah It is crazy when you're on your feet all day How many steps you tick up Versus sitting on your bit in the radio studio.

Yeah. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, after the show yesterday, walking home through the city, very quiet in the city, like eerily quiet. Well, we're level four, baby. I know.

Yeah, but the council have made it so hard to drive my car there. You know, bit of balance on this show, please. Yeah, you're done. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, it's very eerily quiet. There's not many people out.

There's the odd person walking around for their daily exercise. Well, where is everybody that lives in central Auckland? Is it a temporary population? Like is it a lot of students who have left? I mean there's so many apartments downtown but I reckon when I got home yesterday and I had lunch and it was maybe 10.30, quarter past 10.

You had lunch at 10.30? Yeah. I always have lunch here. You know this about me. I breakfast at 5. So lunch is at 10. What about a snack to push you through to 12? Nah, that's just when I have lunch. And then what do you have between ten and five when you have dinner? I have snacks and then I have dinner between five and six.

Yeah, if he switches on the TV and the chase is up to the second contention in the cash building round and Fletch hasn't started dinner he's on grumpy. I'm getting very grumpy. No, but I was going to say it was after lunch I noticed and I have just noticed this a lot during lockdown. So many

people have all their apartment curtains drawn until like late afternoon. Like people must be staying up until like three, four, five in the morning and then just sleeping all day. Like it's... Or they just are living in darkness. I don't know which one it is. But I was like, that's pretty

bad. Get out there, people. You need that vitamin D. You need the D. You do. You do need the D. You'll get the rickets if you don't have the D. It was when I was going home

after work that I noticed what I believe, now I don't have any proof on this, but I witnessed what I believe was a contact full drug deal. A full contact drug deal. A full contact drug deal because they touched the hands. He didn't leave it on the ground and have a distance.

He put it in her hand. And then they walked to different areas and he went back to the apartment. Did she put money into his hand? Drugs. I didn't see that bit. I only saw, I only, when I turned around, saw him handing something to her, small. Might have been a USB stick. When she grabbed it, was she like.

I don't know, but they just looked dodgy because they saw me looking. So I was like, oh, that's drugs. Got to be. And then the other day I walked past two men in a Suzuki Swift counting 20s. And I was like, since- Advise a drag dealer and have a Suzuki Swift. There's lots of them.

Yeah. It's not like, you know- How dare they count 20s? You're only counting 20s in a Suzuki Swift. Yeah, no one's dealing with cash. You're not in a Suzuki Swift in level four counting 20s up to something good. Are you?

Like, how many 20s are we talking? Wads. Oh, really? Yeah. That, yeah, I'm just thinking there'd be no other place where you'd get that many $20 bills. No, not during level four. I'm sorry to drag Suzuki into this.

I know they don't need to code. As you should be. As you should be very sorry. What a reputable brand. Japanese motor vehicle company Suzuki but that's what I'd go for small economical

doesn't you know there's so many on the road it doesn't get their whole lot of attention if the police are like what are you doing you're like

I'm on my way to course you can say something like that which is nondescript but everybody who's going to course and it can be any beauty therapy hairdressing massage

yeah skin stuff. It's a reliable car. You call it course and you drive a Suzuki. That's the rule. Jimny or Swift? You're being very stereotypical here. I'm not wrong though. You want a Jimny.

People are going to think you're going to course. I am going to course. What course am I doing at the local polytechnic? Have a guess. Go on, have a guess. Woodwork. Could be. I think you'd look like you'd be doing welding.

No. No. It would be something labour-y. No. You've got to do it. It's beauty therapy. Oh, okay. Sorry, yeah.

Nails, specialising in nails. Speaking of hairdressing, for those tomorrow, outside of Auckland when it does turn to Delta Level 2, haircuts will be available. Yeah. But there'll be rules. We're going to talk to a hairdresser after eight this morning. Yep, find out what those rules are.

Because it might be a bit harder to get in, I think. Harder to get in. After distancing and so many people wanting them. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Well, it's the return of I bet I can guess your mum's name. Last week, Vaughn failed, a rare fail, in a year that you have dominated this game. And time after time, you have guessed people's mum's names.

Correct. Well, a chance for redemption this week, Vaughan Smith. We welcome to the show Leah. Good morning. Good morning. Is it Leah or Lee? Leah. Leah.

That's because there's an H, isn't there? Yeah, but sometimes you meet a Leah and they're like, no, it's Lee. Yeah. Or they're a Leah. Drop the H then, sweetheart. Yeah. Now, Leah, Vaughan will ask you five questions about your mum and then he will have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name.

Okay. Question one. What is your dear mother's sibling's names? She's got eight. Oh, four. That's good, though, because that's going to tell me the names. But if she's the youngest, they might have run out of names. Okay.

I'm going to try to remember them because there's a lot, and I don't really know them. So this is good because if I can't guess your mum's names, that's fine because you don't know your auntie's and uncle's names. Okay. If I can't guess your mum's name, that's fine, because you don't know your auntie's and uncle's names. Okay, Stephen, Calvin, Rovina, Adrian, Marion, Roxanne, Ephraim. See, the guys' names are all like Steve, Mike, Dave. The girls' names are all like Rhododendron. That's a white body.

You'll go with that. Acorn. But that's a clue, though, isn't it. That's a white-skinned acorn. But that's a clue, though, isn't it? That's a clue for you, Vaughn. Okay. Shit. Yeah. Question two. Oh, he's already thrown it in.

What are your mum's hobbies? What are her hobbies? Shit. Do you know this woman? You don't know her family, you don't know what she's into. She likes karaoke. Oh,

yeah. Yeah, okay. What's her, what's her like go-to set, what's her go-to number? I'm not actually sure. I just learned she loves karaoke.

She just, she's asked the thing at my wedding. So I'm like, okay. Does she have a loves karaoke. She's asked to sing at my wedding, so I'm like, okay. Does she have a machine? Does she have a machine? No, she goes out every Friday to a karaoke place. Oh, my gosh. You need to get her a machine for these lockdowns.

She needs a machine. Yeah, get her a little. Relatively cheap. Yeah. She probably got her own, bringing it to the wedding to surprise me. Oh, God. This is just a sub-question. Is she married?

Is she still married to your dad? Um, no. Okay, because I'm trying to porn off my father-in-law, and he loves singing. He loves karaoke. He loves recording his own. He's got a machine. He's staying with us during restrictions,

and he constantly makes us listen to his recordings of the Lion King soundtrack. Oh. Would we be allowed to play those on here? Please. Please.

He would love that. Yeah. He would love that. It's his voice. Sade would divorce me. Now, here's the long term. I don't want that to happen. Yeah.

I'm going to message Sade. But message him directly. Are you friends with him on Facebook? Fletch, ask him for the links. He's got links. I'm going to ask Sade real nicely. She can't divorce me. She can be angry at you, but she'll get over it.

She'll get over it. Oh, we need to play those. Shots, can we please play? She's not going to let you. I don't even know why you're asking her. I don't know why he recorded the Lion King I think it was to impress

Indian August right okay did it impress him no okay so mum likes karaoke siblings have from what I could pick up the males had

fairly standard names the females have different names I've got COVID I've gotta go home what's mum's favourite TV show? It's like I don't know my mother at all. What an eye-opening morning for you.

What kind of genre does she like? I'd say my mum likes TV shows about the... What's that, sorry? CSI and stuff like that. Oh, like crime shows. Yeah. CSI and NSI. She loves a police procedural.

Yeah. Okay, so crime. Like, I feel like you're not going to guess her name. Like, I should pay you if you actually do guess her name. Oh, wow, okay. Rather than us paying you. Yeah. Which is always a weird way for it to have worked, I thought.

All right, what's mum's vintage? Like, what year was mum birthed? 60. 60s. 60s. Okay. 60s or 60? 60.

1960. 1960. 1960. And if mum's cooking, what's mum's best meal? Okay. This creamy chicken dish. Oh, that sounds great, doesn't it? Cream chicken.

A creamy chicken dish. We call it cream chicken. Okay. All right. Well, Leah, Vaughan does not look in a good place. He looks thrown. He looks flustered. He looks disheveled.

And I'm not getting money today. I just rang because I knew it would be hard. I like you, Leah. What is wrong with you? I like you. Well, Vaughn Smith, you now have 15 seconds to guess Leah's mum's name. Okay. And your time starts now.

Christina, Tina, Penelope, Kay, Jocelyn, Tracy, Joy, Maureen, Anna, Teresa, Janine, Jeanette, Glenda, Shelly, Sarah, Lynn, Debbie, Beverly, Bronwyn, Ruth, Diana, Gail, Carolyn, Franza, Stephanie. No. No. Leah, what's your mum's name? Philomena. Like the orchestra.

Oh, my God. I was like that Steve Coogan movie. Oh, yeah. Was that about an orchestra or was it about a woman? I think it was about a woman. The Philomena. No, that's not right. The Auckland Philomena Orchestra.

It's Philharmonic. Oh. You've totally made it. I was like, oh my God, I've never thought about that. It's named Philomena. Why?

But you were lying and I absolutely fell into your trap. Because it's similar. Philomena. Leah, sorry that we couldn't guess your mum's name today.

It was a toughie, but we do secretly love seeing Vaughn fail. I love it. The Kiwis in us want to peg him back and keep him down. No, Kiwis don't want to peg me. Can I just say? Some might. No one says knock him down a peg is the saying. Kiwis want to peg him is not a saying.

Peg him back. Yeah. Peg him in the saying. Kiwis want to peg him is not a saying. Peg him back. Yeah. Peg him in the back. Goodness me. Next on the show with outside of Auckland moving to new Delta level two. What does it mean

for getting finally getting that haircut? Well, there's been a hairdressers conference overnight and we're going to find out all the goss and what happened next.

Like, why do you hold the scissors Because they're the same Hole I always put my Three fingers In the big old hole You know what I'm talking about With holding scissors

ZDM's Fletchwell and Megan Tonight at midnight Level two for The country Excluding Auckland And they're actually Building a big wall

To keep us in. So you guys should be okay. It should be fine. It's like that wall off Game of Thrones. You won't get the dragon. I'm going to burn it down. But that means level two for the rest of the country, you can do things like get haircuts.

Yeah. And maybe a whole lot of people had haircuts booked over that time and it got shut down. Paraponting, you could do that. You can get your nails done. I don't know. Just singular though. You couldn't do a dual parapon.

You're breaking social distancing. True. Nails done. Is that a thing as well? Yeah. Look. Oh no. Poor Han.

I know. You've got a scratched nail. We will rebuild. We will. This is the problem plaguing the people of Afghanistan at the moment to me. But we're joined on the phone by a hairdresser who did a webinar. There was a webinar last night. Brooke, good morning.

Good morning. Now, was this every hairdresser in the country on a Zoom? Oh, at some point, I thought it was every hairstylist in the country. It was very busy. Right. So were people dropping in and out? And who was running this webinar? And had they talked to Ashley Bloomfield or the Siege, Hipkins?

What was the deal? They've been talking directly with the big people, I guess. The ministry, MB, the ministry. Because there are going to be rules for people if they want a haircut in level two. So what's kind of the big deal? Well, one thing that's going to make it really tricky is everyone's going to be wearing a mask. So a lot of people are worried, you know, how are we going to cut or colour around the ears? But I'm just really worried about how I'm going to make up, like, small talk and make sure I'm reacting the right way. So the person getting the haircut and you are both going to be wearing a mask?

Yes, we'll both need to wear a mask. Right. So your small talk's going to be like, how's it going? And then, you know, when you, like, laugh at the wrong thing. Yeah, because you've got to look in the mirror that they're kind of looking into too is where you get the full facial recognition of how they want you to react to it. So if you're doing a colour, could they not just take the mask off for that little bit or could they hold it over maybe?

I wish they could. We've got little tips and tricks on how we can do it. I have been Googling ways to cut around the ears and to colour without making too much of a mess. Okay. And we were given some tips last night, so hopefully we won't be too messy. What about double-sided tape? Oh, this is an option.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like women already get disgruntled when we wipe off their makeup from their hairline. So if we're also going to wipe it off from their cheeks, it's probably going to be an issue. You've come to the right guy because I am a world-renowned problem solver. Okay.

Yeah. You know that boob tape? The Holly Hustler, yeah. When girls are wearing a plunging neckline and they put the boob tape on because it is a, what is the word? You react to it. You've got sensitive skin. Yeah.

There's a word for it though. Is there? For the type of tape it is. Hypoallergenic. Oh, yeah, right. Hypoallergenic tape. Like a cobotel. Yeah, like a dog.

Like a half poodle, half anything. You could put that tape on the mask and stick the mask to the face. This is also an option. And we have thought about this long and hard. But we'll probably just go with the standard mask loop around the ear for now. Right. Okay, yeah. So I'm seeing a lot of mullets then?

Yes, there's lots of mullets coming back into fashion at the moment, which is going to work out well because we'll just chop it off at the ear and leave the back. It's going to save lots of time for people who are waiting for their appointment. And are you finding that a lot of people are booking appointments now that they know that it's going into level two? Or do you have to wait until tomorrow? What we're doing today is calling everyone who was booked in over lockdown and giving them priority.

I think a lot of cell phones are doing the same. And then we'll open it up to the masses. Right. And how many box hair dye jobs are you looking to be fixing over the upcoming week? Oh, golly, I'm hoping none. I'm honestly hoping none because you go in and you think it's going to be $30, but then you end up spending like $600 at the salon trying to fix it. Yeah, okay.

I was going to say, could you give some people who are still in level four in Auckland some advice who are like, oh, just get... Definitely, definitely. Changing your part can help. Head scarves. You know what? No one's going to see you, so just don't worry about it. Don't do it. And bald men, this is offensive

Yeah, I find this, I'm being excluded as a white middle class male I feel like I don't have anything to add to this You can expect a complaint to the BSA about how you made me feel today Best of luck getting through the backlog of people needing haircuts.

Thank you. And if anyone's rude to you, you get them to call me because I'll tell them how lucky they are to even be able to see you right now. Oh, if anyone's rude, I just put them to the bottom of the list. Oh, I think you're going to say just cut right through the hair. Also, accidentally shave reverse. Whoopsies. Yeah.

Whoopsie, you moved. Whoopsie, you moved. Whoopsie, you moved and cut the top of your ear off. Good luck holding a mask on now. You've got no ears. Oh, that's only happened like once or twice. Yeah. As it always does. You've got to be forgiving of these things.

Brilliant. Well, thanks for that and good luck with the level two tomorrow. Thank you so much. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about pet ducks. Ah, cute. Apparently it's a thing in America around spring. Lots of people get a pet ducks. Ah, cute. Apparently it's a thing in America around spring.

Lots of people get a pet duck, like a duckling, and then they like raise it and then I guess when it gets full dark, they're just like, oh well. It's not cute anymore. See you later, mate, down the pond.

Unless they've grown like really attached to the duck. And you can. And ducks apparently can be trained. Yeah. They're quite like a dog in their behavior. And you can. And ducks apparently can be trained. Yeah. They're quite like a dog in their behaviour. Really? Yep. They'll like waddle out to meet you when you get home.

And Muscovy ducks even wag their tails. Muscovy ducks are a pretty good duck. I feel really bad now for having that duck pancake. Don't. My God, how does duck? Duck pancakes are so yum. It's crispy skinned barbecue duck. Yeah.

With the hoisin. If I was Alma Fudd, I would have gone more for duck season than rabbit season. Okay. Rabbit, right. A lot of meat on the bone. I mean, it's eatable, but he could have had a little... Edible, I think. Yeah, I was going to say edible.

Did I say edible? Yeah. That's all right. You've seen it there. It's okay. Edible. I've? Edible. Did I say edible? Yeah. That's all right. You've seen it there. It's okay. Edible. I've just seen it. I just said it.

I said it. I know. They are delicious. I know they are. You have distracted me a little bit. But today's fact of the day is the average duck relieves itself once every 15 minutes. They do poop a lot, eh? Yep, meaning it would be a nightmare pet if you were going to have it inside.

It's got a little duck nappy on it. You can get duck diapers readily available online. The Lucky Duck Rescue and Sanctuary in Los Angeles, where Carol works and owns. Carol Baskin? No, she's like the duck version of Carol Baskin. Oh, my God. They're like little aprons that go up around their neck and then...

I'm sorry, but a duck does not need to be bought inside. You could have an outside duck, but it's still the poop's the problem. And if you've ever been to a place where ducks are, like, prominent, you will know this. Yeah. Because there's just poop everywhere and it gets a little bit stinky and when they take over a lake. Yeah, the lake ponds full of ducks. Western Springs in Auckland, if you've been there beside the zoo.

Yep. In the venue. Is that a duck and a duck? It's quite cute. It's actually quite cute. It's like a little apron situation. But they poop every 15 minutes. How long could they be wearing that before they need to be changed?

So that used to be totally swimmable, Western Springs. It's where a majority of Auckland in the very early days got their drinking water from. And if you go to the part where the water comes into that spring, it's super clear, but you can't swim in it or anything because of all the ducks. Yeah, and the giant eels. Yeah. They're eating ducklings, aren't they? But eels, oh yeah.

But eels don't sully the water like a duck does. Yeah. You could probably swim in there with eels. They slither around your feet and stuff, but they poop a lot. So it's another thing to consider if you're thinking of getting a duck for a pet. The poop problem. This duck pet has got little shoes, a diaper, and it's on a leash, and it's going for a walk.

I'm sorry. Why has it got shoes? Stop that. You don't need to do that to a duck. It shouldn't be. It looks happy. Well, it's going for a walk. I'm sorry. Why has it got shoes? Stop that. You don't need to do that to a duck. It shouldn't be... It looks happy. Well, it's going for a walk. It's really stoned. Probably sniff a loaf of bread

somewhere. Oh, no, you're not supposed to feed them bread. I know, but it's the cheaper option, isn't it? Get a loaf of dollar bread. Yeah. Much cheaper than getting a one square meal and breaking it into pieces so they can eat the seeds and nuts. That's true. And then I don't even think that's that much better for them.

No, probably not. On cheap white bread. So today's fact of the day is that a duck poops every 15 minutes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. CDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Okay. I might swim. Kingslayer and Khaleesi. That was a Game of Thrones time. Somebody called their kid Kingslayer. Yeah. They knew it though, didn't they?

Diesel Duramax. What? Duramax? Isn't that a battery or something? Yeah. Were they just looking around the room? Diesel U, batteries. Battery from Duramax. Oh, there's a Duramax V8 engine.

Okay. So they're V8 fans? Maybe. Someone said my co-worker named her baby Strawberry Rain, which would be great if she hadn't given birth to a bottle of shampoo. I met a girl named Jennifer in college.

And apparently her parents just wanted to be different, so they just put a T on the end of Jennifer. Never. Oh, I'm sorry. And apparently her parents just wanted to be different, so they just put a T on the end of Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Never. Oh, I'm sorry. Jennifer.

Jennifer. When you were old enough, you'd just change it, right? You'd just say Jennifer, right? You'd just be like. Yeah, Jen. Jen. Jennifer. Yeah, I'd say it's French.

I'd be like, it's actually pronounced Jennifer. And you're being a racist when you call me Jennifer, okay? Oh, yeah, she'd get Jennifer. Yep. She'd be everything. Cocaine. How can you legally call your kid that? Surely you wouldn't get, I don't think that would pass in New Zealand.

I've always said there should be a panel, and the panel has to accept every name. There is. And it's too trashy. Oh, not every name. No, it's just literally, yeah, there's only a few. Like, you can't have an official title. Yeah. Felony. But it's spelt with a PH.

Oh, okay. Like a felony. Like a Stephen versus a Stephen. Yeah. PH is a little classy. Yeah. People had a last name Turner and decided to call their daughter Paige. Paige Turner.

I like that. That's actually pretty good. That's actually pretty good, that one. And a lot of these. I like that. That's all right. That's actually pretty good, that one. And a lot of these are like Caitlin, which is cool. But this one, K, stay with me, B-I-I. There's eight. That's eight in the Roman. L-Y-N.

Oh, my God. Caitlin. It's just kind of like cool, you want to be different and stuff. But it is like A bit of a wild disadvantage Yeah I think there's lots of Beautifully different names

That aren't like Rainbow Written R-E-I-N B-E-A-U-X I want to know This morning If there's anyone listening

Either In the parent On the parent side of things Where they regret Naming their kid What they did name them or somebody listening that has changed their name

because they didn't like it. Because your parents called you Jennifer. Yeah, like maybe you had name regret because you were Jennifer. Yeah, exactly. Or felony. Jennifer. It's nothing on the people

because you had no say in it, you know? No, it's not your fault. No. Your parents did that to you But I don't know You hear of And someone in the group chat Said they knew of someone That called their daughter

And this is before ISIS ISIS And there were lots of businesses With that Like there was a hairdresser Just down the road The origins Well no don't Google

It means she abthrown apparently Yeah it was an Egyptian Did you Google that? No it's And someone in the group chat Has helped this out Someone on the live stream The origins? Well, no, don't Google. It means she of throne, apparently. Yeah, it was an Egyptian. Did you Google that? No, it's someone in the group chat has helped us out. Someone on the live stream. You don't want to be on some terror watch list. Oh, I'll Google how to join ISIS. Is that what I'm doing?

No. Absolutely not. Okay, no, I won't press enter then. Yeah, we want to know from you. Yeah, names. Do you regret giving a kid a name? I mean, that's a big thing to also admit, to be like, but then also a reason I wasn't, I'm glad I didn't have a kid young.

Would have called them like Tasmanian devils. Well, people are sharing on Twitter the worst baby names they've ever heard. There's some doozies. There are doozies. We want to know if you as a parent listening had name regret or had regret about your name. Maybe you even changed it. Somebody on our live chat said they babysat for an Isis.

Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Beautiful child, but the horrible group was definitely already known and had been in the headlines when the child received its name. Oh, no. Maybe it'll fizzle out. ISIS? The group or the name? The child or the group? The terrorist cell.

Hopefully, fingers crossed. Alice, good morning. Hello. Now, you changed your name. I did, yes, earlier this year. Okay, now why did you do that? What was the reasoning there? There was a few reasons. I grew up never liking my name

and I also, during lockdown last year in the UK, realised I was non-binary and so I wanted something a bit more gender neutral. But the main story was my mum named me after her imaginary friend. Wow! Wow! Had the imaginary friend stuck with her or was it just that she remembered the name from childhood?

Well, she claims that it was a woman who used to hang around the school gates and give her sweets after school. Yet neither of my uncles remember this woman. And so after multiple questions with them, they're like, yeah, no, we don't think this woman actually exists. So I'm like, this must be an imaginary friend. Where were the sweets coming from?

Where were the sweets coming from? Were they imaginary sweets? I have no idea. Apparently she's a woman who used to dress up in a fur coat and hung out by the school gates. And I'm like, well, that's my name. And so what was your name? What did you change your name from?

My original name was Sally. So it's very English, very kind of old fashioned and always felt a bit grandma-ish growing up. No offence to any other Sallys, but yeah. Okay, wow. Okay. And then so, and just this year? Yeah, just this year yeah just this year i moved back to new zealand in march um after being in the uk during the pandemic um and yeah so i'd give a new name ago and it went rather well how much is it easy to change your name um it's a lot of paperwork

and deep pool information and then um when you decide to tell your family it's a lot of paperwork and deep hole information and then when you decide to tell your family, it's a lot of reminding them. Yeah, but aside from that, that's been pretty easy. Nice to meet you, Alice. Parental name regret, do you have it or are you

the kid that's like, why did you call me French? Jennifer. Well, we talked about the Jennifer Fridge? Jennifer. Jennifer. Well, we talked about the Jennifer. It's Jennifer with a T. And apparently that's now. Well, someone just said my mom just messaged me saying she'll only refer to me as Jennifer from now on.

I like that. Sorry about that, Jennifer. In fact, I shall now always call Jennifer's. Jennifer. Jennifer Lopez. Some messages in. Somebody said My only name regret

With my child Is I should have given My son my last name Not his father's My best friend hates Both of her kids names She did it Yes

On her No one to blame But themselves My best friend was named After her grandfather's Mistress Which only came out When she was in her 20s, and there was more questions about where she got her name from.

And it's too late by then. Granddad's mistress. You can't change it. Well, did Granddad suggest it? And Grandma was like, yeah, okay. I like that name. My boyfriend's name is... It was hard back then.

You couldn't, like, track them on their iPhone. There was no iPhone. Oh, no. Yeah, they'd always be like, yeah, I've got to go out of town. See you on business. Yeah. Yeah. And then they'd be away because the train would take eight days to get there.

Honey, I'd love to come home right now. Stop. But I can't. Stop. Because he's sending her a telegraph. Yeah. She's just imagining the telegraph in his voice. Train delayed.

Stop. Bad guy. Blew up the bridge. Stop. That's how affairs happen in the... Be home soon, but he wasn't. No, he wasn't. He was at the local hotel.

My boyfriend's name is Ben with two Ns. His parents are always offering to change it for him, but he's okay with it. What? But then you're always correcting people. It's a lifetime of correction that you're imposing on this kid. Yeah, that's the thing. And you account all the time spent wasted.

Yeah, explaining it. Jessie joins us. Jessie, do you have name regret? Well, my parents did. Okay, so what about the name Jessie? No, that's my name now. But when I was born, my parents named me

June, April, May. No. They did not. So what was your middle name, May? No, May is my surname. So my first name was June, middle name, April. Are you now Jessie April May? June May. No, they completely changed it. They went the opposite direction and changed it to Jessica,

the most popular name in the 80s and 90s. So yeah, Jessica Ann is what they changed it to after they got quite a bit of grief from my uncles and aunts about what they named me. Yeah, right. Did they just think it was funny? Because you're June May, but then like April Was the middle name Yeah

I like all of those names But You can't go Double month In Kenya Yeah No June May

Even if it's June May Is your middle name April Actually yes It is I think you Shat your face God I actually Quite like that

I've never checked A day of the weekend I've always been a fan Of a Wednesday Or a Tuesday. Well, like a June, Thursday, May. No, but then she'd be like, Wednesday, May, and you'd be like, but I'm 18.

She's like, yeah. Wow. And so how old were you when they changed it? I was only a baby, so only a few weeks old. But I didn't find out until I was getting my driver's license because we had to find my birth certificate. And then it came up of my parents like, oh, funny story. We'll have to get your updated birth certificate.

So you had no idea until then? No. And my dad used to call me Junebug as a nickname. But I didn't know why. Oh, my God, that's brilliant. Yeah. That's really cute. Does it not call you Junebug anymore?

On occasion, but growing up, I just thought, oh, you know, random nickname, not used to kind of be my name. That's amazing. Jessie, April, May, June, thank you so much for sharing this morning. That's really tickled me, that. Some more messages in. April, May, June. Thank you so much for sharing this morning. That's really tickled me, that.

Some more messages in. April, May, June. No, May was her last name, right? Yeah. I don't know that that's not an order. June, April, May. That was my biggest problem with that. June, April, May, yeah.

Oh, it's not an order. That it wasn't an order. Some other text messages in on name regret. Lots of teachers messaging in. Oh, I bet, yeah. One of which can't talk to us on air because last time she was, a parent gave her a lecture about it. Yeah, only if you use the past students.

Yeah. And change your location in school just to really throw them off the scent. Oh, someone wanted to name their daughter after the guy that invented the rotary engine. The wife wouldn't allow it. You should be thanking your wife for that. Is that my brother? It might be. My friend taught a

child with the name XXTYN. XXTYN. Said Christine. Crosston. Oh, God. We've got patients on file where I work called Isis and Nemesis. I hope they're not from the same family. I was working in a pharmacy.

Mum came in for a prescription for her kid, said the prescription's for Absurd And I was like I beg your pardon And she said absurd And I said is that a person's name is it And she said yes it's my child's name I said give me the spelling Absurd was spelt A B C D

And someone else said You should go to prison for that I'm sorry but that is trash A M Our son's 15 You should go to prison for that I'm sorry But that is Trash AF Our son is 15 years old Turns out his name Is also the name Of a famous porn star She wouldn't have been

A porn star When we named him Oh okay And I said Which one And they won't tell me You wouldn't know anyway No I

You know I watch the show Okay yeah They go to the porn store Right and they Sell this And the guy's like The best I can do is 50 bucks

Yeah And then he turns around And sells it for like a thousand They're very cheeky aren't they Porn stars Very cheeky indeed ZM's Fleshborn and Megan