ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th April 2021

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

Yummy Yummy Top 6: Aussies are Back  Post It Notes  PJ in Quarantine!  Dr Google  Guy Williams!  Producer Jareds Maggi Mixup  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. Now look at the stitching on your t-shirt. Oh yeah, these do this, they blow out on the... Unbelievable. I thought your t-shirt was inside out and I was like, you know what, it's all good. Nah, it's not. We're just gonna let him have his t-shirt inside out all day.

It's because you buy them and they've got a slightly worn look to them and then you wear them and you wash them. Like a stone wash. They've already done that. Yeah, right. And they start getting a bit like that. Well, it just looks vintage now, doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. It's like people buy ripped jeans. Yeah. Sorry, I will apologise. I forgot that you're on the cutting edge of fashion. Yes. You've really put me in my place. Are you doing that thing?

Because that's a real look For women's fashion Is the sort of Cut out shoulder Oh yeah You should pop a shoulder I probably will Maybe pop a shoulder I remember as a child

I tried to pop a shoulder In a t-shirt And everyone was like What are you doing And I said Is this just for girls This is when I was like seven Right

Is this just for girls Yes I was told it was And you got that Beaten out of you Yeah Yeah Shamed out of me. Now, imagine you wouldn't do that in 2021.

You'd say to the child, that's absolutely anybody. Well, you should embrace it later in your life. You don't have to conform to those gender norms. Show it to us. Look at those beautiful things. Things? Smooth shoulders. Shoulders.

Right, okay. You've got quite a lumpy shoulder. Quite a bony wee number A bony Well now you've shoulder shamed me again You've got bones in areas I don't have bones So now as a 7 year old

And as a 39 year old Yeah I've been shamed You've been shamed twice Put those bumpy lumpy shoulders away 32 years apart The shame echoes through Bounces off the wall And hits me again

I'm sure Sproul can be there at your rest home Just to keep you going Yeah, well, schedule this in for another 32 years What's 32? Well, you've been to rest home then? A bit two, and then 74 Yeah, I reckon you will be You'll need help wiping your ass

71 At 71? Yep I hope not No, you'll have a tractor accident Oh, that'd be pretty cool Yeah That means I have a tractor I reckon Vaughan's right on I'll take a Oh, roll on me The bank, you'll have a tractor accident. Oh, that'd be pretty cool. Yeah. That'd be pretty cool. That means I have a tractor.

I reckon Vaughan's ride-on will take a- Oh, roll on me. The bank. You had a roll on you. Oh, I wouldn't go on a bank. No, you'd be like- Why would I go on a bank? How do you mow a bank?

Not on the ride-on. With a push? Yeah, maybe you go with a push. I don't know what Vaughan would have mowed that. I'm actually going to get a- Yeah, you've lost any of your bite, mate. You need to get up on that bank. I'm going to get a new wheel for the push mower. Oh, okay. Yeah. God, I wish you hadn have mowed that. Yeah, you've lost any of your bite, mate. You need to get up on that bank. I've got to get a new wheel for the push mower.

Oh, okay. Yeah. God, I wish you hadn't even started this. I've got to call him. That actually reminds me. Might attend on the way home to get a new wheel for the push mower. They sell wheels. What?

They sell wheels. Yeah, they sell individual wheels. The bearings went. God, I love that place. It's so great. Them and Bunnings. Two new wheels. Yeah.

Then I like when you leave, they treat everyone like you've shoplifted something and they want to check your receipt. I love that. That's my favourite. Oh, no, I never get that. That might just be you. Yeah, it might be. You don't really look like you belong in a hardware store.

Do you not get to check the docket and look in your bag? No, I've never been checked. Oh, okay. But you've also got a backpack on full of spray cans, so they're really watching you in your urban youth. You've got a bit of silver spray under your nose. Oh, I was thinking graffiti. You were thinking huffing.

Yeah. Oh, right. I do both. Okay, well, good. Yeah, no, great. ZM. And music lives here. Fleece, Fawn and Megan, the podcast.

Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleece, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Happy Thursday morning. Kia ora. Let me just do a quick mic adjustment. There you go. I feel maybe I'm taller today.

Or your seat's a little higher. Or lower. Or higher. Roundabout or somebody else has fiddled with the microphone. Gosh, damn it. Someone's always fiddling with the microphone. I'm having a rough start to the day, not only microphone-wise, but this smoothie. Can you see? It looks like puddle water but this smoothie. It looks like puddle water.

It is. It tastes like puddle water. Nothing in it has brought anything to the party. Why is your smoothie always a roll of the dice? Like, why don't you

do the same every day? I don't know. Ingredient-wise. I don't know. It really is hit and miss. Right, because you need the energy. We've got a gym class later.

We do. We're doing our first gym class together. Va Right, because you need the energy. We've got a gym class later. We do. We're doing our first gym class together. Bourne, you're not invited. Oh, no, carry on with this engaging tale. What time is your gym class? Ten past one, so we've got to... You've got to book in. It's one of those cycle ones in front of the movies.

I wonder why you suggest a book at... What? We're going to the trip. What's the trip? It's a 180. I've got no idea. It's like a 180 screen, like virtual reality. Yeah.

Do you remember that thing at the Rainbow's End? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The big globe theater thing. They've got that thing. They busted that down. It's like that, but you're sweating. What are your visual accompaniments? Well, you go to all these different worlds.

Everyone who goes to the trip will be listening being like, it's the trip. So you don't just cycle like the Tour de France, for example. No, there's some you might go to Greece, but it's all sort of twisted reality.

Like someone like Star Wars and you race ships. Like you race other ships. Oh, now Vaughn's on board. Now Vaughn's on board. It is dependent on how fast you're pedalling. Or your people are pedalling.

No, it's not. But you move fast and so it feels like you're in control of it and you sort of lean. You're going to have so much fun. It sounds like I'm going to sweat and die. And is the person up the front leading the usual spin class with their usual words of encouragement?

Yeah, but they're facing the screen. But are they like, okay, pedal fast. We've got a starship to beat. They'll tell you when to crank it up and crank it down. But then you're following like these crazy virtual reality worlds. Like some of them make no sense. Wow. Okay.

Okay. Get ready to Some pretty. Okay. Get ready to get fit. Okay. Is it half an hour? No, it's a little bit longer than that. About 45 minutes. Oh, okay. Wow.

Well, you do spend a lot of time cycling. Yeah, and I do a bit of biking. But I think you dilly-dally. I think you have an ice cream when you get to Mission Bay as well. You don't say you've never admitted, but I feel like you're only going out there for a gelato. For a gelato every time, which is counterproductive to the cycle. All right, well, I'm sure that'll be fun today.

We'll update you tomorrow. Yeah. Coming up on the show, 7 o'clock and 8 this morning, we've got your chance to win free fuel with Zed Empty Tank. So make sure you're listening for the activator. The top six is coming up. And next on the show Would you like your free wine on a plane?

Maybe the Trans-Tasman bubble opening And you're looking forward to a free beverage Mid-service And it's not quick enough Well one thing you shouldn't do is scream I'm going to crash this damn plane I'll tell you why I mean it should be obvious

It should be obvious But someone tried it Okay It didn't work Well with the Trans-Tasman bubble Opening up again In a couple of weeks

I think it's a timely reminder To remind ourselves Of some In plain etiquette Yep What behaviour is acceptable And not You can always pop along

To the A little quieter lately, Instagram page, passenger shaming. Oh, that has been so quiet. Yeah, well,

international travel down. They would have pictures of people like, drawing their undies on the air vent. Oh, I've seen that. Or people putting up their bare feet. nasty ass toes, like poking through the gap in the seats.

Or like, hair coming down. Okay, this is my worst one. I was travelling with my mum, overseas, poking through the gap in the seats. Or, like, hair coming down. Okay, this is my worst one. I was travelling with my mum overseas, and we had our trays down with our food out, and there was a guy in front who had the longest dreadlocks, and then one of them flopped through the gap in between the chairs

and went into my mum's food. And she was like, no! And then got the food taken away, and then, like, kept trying to flick it back into his side, and then ended up just putting a pillow on it and was like, no, and then got the food taken away and then kept trying to flick it back into his side and then ended up just putting a pillow on it and was like, I can't deal with this. Oh, yuck. And ever since, you've only exclusively flown business.

Yes. Good. Yep. I can't believe Patsy was slumming at an economy with you. Oh, I know. She's a tall woman. Sometimes she just likes to get back to the roots. Yeah, humble roots of data.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is another thing you shouldn't do. And it's been, it was November last year. Yeah. When 31-year-old Hannah, who is described in the story as a former Instagram glamour model. Former? Former. Is that the news media saying that

to get some headlines? Because I've found her on Instagram. It's a private profile. She's got 3,700 followers. She's got a private profile already. You're like,

well, that's not how an Instagram model works. No. Exactly. You're not going to get any HelloFresh sales with a private page. That's how annoying

meme pages work because someone will forge you the meme, but you can't see it because you don't follow the page, but you want to see what your friends are recommending, so you follow the page, and then it wasn't worth it. Gotcha. But now they've got you.

Now they've got you. Well, apparently, November 7th last year, while 72 other passengers were also on this flight, a trans-Tasman flight, she requested a glass of wine. Now, I didn't think wine was being served. Yeah, I would have thought. On planes, ATM.

I would have thought they would have just had masks and no food. Yeah. For three hours. Just suck it up. So it was Melbourne to Auckland. Right. So I would have thought, yeah, there would have been the bare minimum food. Yeah.

No drinks. No unnecessary lips, you know? Yeah. Agreed. Because you've got to take your mask up to have a drink, don't you? And eat and everything. So I would have thought it would have been the bare minimum. 72 other people on the flight.

Well, she was told that her ticket did not. Oh, she had a seat only. Yeah. She didn't get a wine. Seat or bag only. She didn't get a wine. Sheat or bag only. She didn't get a wine. She could pay one, pay for one, but she didn't

want to do that either. The words, according to the flight crew, were, I don't give an F, get me an F in wine, she yelled. In the summary of facts. This is my soul sister. This sounds like Hayley Sproul on a plane after a long day. Can you quickly scan the details of this flight to make sure it's not me?

So it's not you. Good. Same age, both very attractive Instagram glamour models, although this is former and I know you are a current. Current. Yeah. Current Instagram. Have you done a HelloFresh?

Yep. Right, how did that go? Did many people buy the HelloFresh boxes? I didn't do a discount code. I did like a have dinner with some fun people. Right. So it was a competition-y sitch. Yeah, it was like me and Guy Williams in all black.

Right. So then she said, after she swore, you'll remember, about the effing wine, she stood up and yelled, I'll effing get it myself. Give me the effing wine. And then called the attendant a B word. Oh, okay. Barry. Busty.

Bugger. Silly bugger. Silly bugger. Then tried to leave her seat and they diverted it into a vacant row of seats, which sounds like a tackle to me. It does. It sounds like cable ties. You were diverted into an empty row of seats, which sounds like a tackle to me. It does. It sounds like cable ties. You were diverted into an empty row

and held there. She grabbed a crew member's arm in a tight grip and squeezed very hard. Oh dear. Like a mother to a child who's misbehaving in public. And much like a child being held down,

they'll try anything. Apparently movements with her head then caused some staff members to believe she was trying to headbutt. Oh, a bit of thr down, they'll try anything. Apparently movements with her head then caused some staff members to believe she was trying to headbutt. Oh, a bit of thrashing. Bit of thrashing. Good bit of thrashing. There was some more thrashing.

She continued to thrash. And then she said, get me an F and wine or I'll blow up the plane. Now that's your cherry on top. Okay. You're not coming back from that. No. Crew handcuffed her and strapped her to a chair using spare seatbelts. So she got the seatbelt extenders around the chair, tied up and handcuffed.

I was going to say, did she get drunk at the Melbourne airport before this flight? Because you can't even do that. Nothing's open. True. Because I was going to say, she obviously had a few on board, and she was getting to that point where she was like, I need more. I've got to keep going or I'm going to get tired. It does sound like it though

because then she fell asleep yep okay then she woke up on landing and continued the verbal tirade

oh wow okay yeah like she's in handcuffs she's going down she's still at it yeah so what we're hearing

about this today because what it was in court yesterday yeah it was in court yesterday? Yeah, yeah. It was in front of a judge. The judge remarked the airlines would probably be quite happy if she didn't travel. Well, yeah, I imagine she'd be on a blacklist now.

Yeah, she would be blacklisted for sure. Well, even if it escapes conviction, there'll be a little asterisk. I've always wondered, like, when they said there's a black mark, a travel black mark against you, man. I've always wondered what that looks like. I had a friend who had one. Why? So he shall remain anonymous, but he was on a work trip and he was flying just between cities in New Zealand

and he was with a workmate and she went through the beeper thing and it went off and he goes, she's got a gun. And they arrested him. And they, I can't remember what he, so he spent one night in jail, like in a cell. In like a remand or something.

Yeah, like not prison, obviously. And then he was banned from flying for a year. That's all he got. But so now when he flies, it's totally, I mean, this was years ago.

Yeah, right. Like two years ago or something like that. But yeah, you just get banned. You are on a blacklist. So when you try to book a flight or you try to board a flight. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. You can't come on board. So he got that for just that small thing.

So she'll be getting a lot worse. Oh, yeah, imagine there'd be a ban. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the things. So she'll be getting a lot worse. Oh, yeah, imagine there'd be a ban. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. AA Insurance have shared some of the weirdest claims they've had over the years. One involves a horse. I like these. And I see why they do these lists,

because they're trying to scare you into getting insurance. Yeah, I know. But also, I always wonder when I'm claiming insurance, like, will they believe me? Is this, you know, like I've got to make it airtight. And then some of the things that they've paid out insurance on, you won't believe. One woman was driving a rental

car when a horse came out of nowhere, jumped on the bonnet, absolutely smashed the car to pieces. Look at that. Oh my God. When you say shattered. How did it take the end? She came around a corner and it was in the middle of the. Look at that. Oh, my God. When you say shattered. How did it take the end? She came around a corner and it was in the middle of the road. She wasn't parked enjoying her lunch somewhere

and it trotted around the corner. It was like up on the bonnet. Take this. No, she was driving past. Oh, wow. The horse got a skier and kind of ran at the car and trampled over the bonnet like that. The horse was fine. Well, that's a dumb the bonnet like that. The horse was fine.

Oh, really? The horse was fine and the woman was fine, but the car was an absolute write-off. So imagine writing that one down. Horse came out of nowhere. You'd be like, they're not going to believe this. Another one had done some homemade ginger beer, something I'd done before, had put it in the fridge

and they all exploded, causing the fridge to explode and put holes into the ceiling. There was glass everywhere. How does that happen? Were the bottles too full? Well, they would have had too much fermentation and so the whole bottles would have exploded. But then how did that cause the thing to explode, the fridge to explode? Broken glass became embedded in the fridge,

cracked the cover, and made holes in the kitchen ceiling. Oh, my God. Here's another one that seems a little far-fetched for a rear-end collision. So a woman was driving. She opened the window and claimed that her contact lenses... Her contact lenses...

I don't believe this one. She claims that her contact lenses... Her contact lenses... I don't believe this one. She claims that her contact lenses flew out of her eyes and then because her vision was impaired, she then rear-ended the car in front. Okay, that sounds like a bit far-fetched. I don't wear contacts. I never have, but would that happen?

Typically, they don't fly out of your eyes. I know you can't go underwater with them and open your eyes, right? Because they'll fall straight off your eyes. But then if you're going at 100 Ks and you open the window and put your head out, then sure they would, right? Could do. Huh. This is a great one.

There was a person who noticed a car had broken down. So they were like, not all heroes wear capes. Got out and pushed the car straight into a lamp, like a lamppost. Okay. How much damage did that do to the car? $2,400 in damage. Oh, my God.

It's only going slow, though. Yeah. Imagine I'd be like, I'm so strong. Once I pushed a car into a power bomb, it did two and a half grand worth of damage to it. Yeah. Have you ever had to make any embarrassing insurance claims? No, not really.

It was that time, do you remember that time we were in the car and that car tried to squeeze between us and a traffic island and just scraped it

down the side of my car? That's right, yeah. And then she blamed me. I was like, no, I'm pretty sure I was like, indicating I

was about to parallel park and you were just impatient and couldn't wait. Yeah. But you drove in and down the side of me. That's you. Yeah.

Yeah. The lamest one was I went fishing with my godfather and I caught this sort of lame fish. And I was like, I'll take a photo. And I just pulled out my phone and went like, broof, over the side. Straight into the ocean. Straight into the ocean.

Right. Just at the same time, the new iPhone came out. Oh, yeah. Whoopsie do do. Oh, man. What's it doing? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Yummy, yummy. Well, it's time for Yummy, Yummy, a segment of the show, a regular feature where we take a look at new food trends, new food items and flavours. And this started on April Fool's Day, a week ago today. And, you know, people were doing all their hilarious April Fool's Day pranks. The Subway coriander cookie.

Yeah, that was one. That was a big one. And that was obviously not real. That was an April Fool's Day prank. But Shapes put up a post of Hawaiian pizza flavoured shapes and everyone was like, oh, okay, that would actually be pretty good. There's already a pizza flavoured shape. So this would have an added pineapple-y tang?

Pineapple element. Pineapple juice. Yeah, well, it's actually... They're soggy, aren't they? They've just been dipped in pineapple juice. Yeah. It's actually happening. It's not an April Fool's Day prank.

It's kind of a great April Fool's prank to like prank us and then be like, it wasn't a prank. The fact that it's not a prank is the prank. It was like there was that prank a couple of years or a few years ago where it's like, we're giving away a BMW, come down to the car yard. That's right. And everyone's like, ha, ha, ha.

And someone went down and they actually gave them a BMW. Wow. I mean, because we were just discussing, weren't we, some of the current Shapes flavours and where we stand on those. It's controversial, but I don't like any Shapes. Is that a controversial call? One of those other ones that are like Shapes that have come out recently. Is it Snacks?

And there's the American Cheeseburger one and it's just a pickle. It's just pickle flavoured. Doritos do them now, don't they? They do. No, snacks, crackers. Snacks, crackers are the other ones I'm talking about. Yeah, snacks. No, snacks, crunches.

See, I just don't. It's too much biscuity. What do they call those? Are they wafer biscuits? They're just like powder. They're just powdery crackers. I'm not a fan. I feel like I would never go and buy a box of shapes.

I'd rather buy a bag of chips. Same. A bag of chips. A bag of chips. A bag meets a packet. But if someone was like, had a box of shapes open, I'd definitely have a snack. Now I'm controversially,

and I have been drawn and courted for this before, I'm a chicken crimpy. Yeah, we've talked about this. I doned for this before, I'm a chicken crimpy. Yeah, we've talked about this. I don't need your judgment. I'm a chicken crimpy, but then... It's like saying, I'm a racist. It's not. How dare you?

It is a very Pakeha element of me that I like chicken crimpy. And also, what flavour's crimpy? I know crimpy's the shape. Yeah, the shape, but like, most of the other ones aren't like pizza hexagon. They don't acknowledge their shapes in their title. Yeah, yeah.

Although that's a great idea. But then I was reminded of cheese and bacon. Oh, yeah. Because what's cheese and bacon? Is it rations? The cheese and bacon first? Yeah, rations.

Rations are a phenomenal snack. Have a bag of rations rather than a box of shapes. I'm starving. Yeah, that's actually, but for some reason I don't feel rations rather than a box of shapes. I'm starving. Yeah, that's actually... But for some reason I don't feel as guilty

after smashing a box of shapes or snacks as I do after smashing a bag of rations. I'm riddled with orange guilt. Yeah. And you've got orange fingers and you're like, this is not good.

What have I done? So when are these shapes coming out? Because I'm keen to try them. A pineapple flavoured shape. I wonder if they'll be as dry as the other shapes because you could just open the box and bag and leave it in the corner of your room and it could act like a little damp bread.

July! Yeah, what an absolute tease from shapes. Because I want to buy a box of the pizza shapes and then a box of the Hawaiian pizza shapes and see if I can really tell the difference. Do a blind taste test. Because the pizza ones are quite oregano-y. Yeah, they're quite

herb-heavy, aren't they? Whereas this I expect to be a bit sweeter and maybe it tastes more like ham. Tangy hammy pineapple. Hammy pineapple. Hammy cheesy pineapple-y. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. Last year it was revealed that New Zealand's Netflix

has the worst library. Like we don't get the goods on Netflix. We've got just the rubbish. Because I know a few people do the old VPN thing and get the American Netflix. Yeah, I've done that before. It's all about the deals that TV networks make with like the TV networks here. So like TVNZ On Demand have a heap of shows that otherwise would be on Netflix. Yeah.

Or Sky, Neon, whatever. Which means you kind of have to have multiple subscriptions along. Yeah. Across multiple platforms. Anyway, but despite this, yeah, so we were 23rd out of, no, that's not too bad actually. Anyway, but we've got a crap catalogue, basically. Despite that, we are some of the biggest watchers of Netflix in the world.

We rank in the highest. I believe we are 13th in the world for hours spent watching Netflix. Is that per capita? I believe so, yes. Oh, okay, because if it wasn't, I was going to say, the way we always get higher is by then saying per capita. Per capita. Like at the Commonwealth and Olympic Games. We'll always be top five per capita.

Is it per capita? They've just worked out hours. Yeah, they've just worked out hours. So at the moment, New Zealand watches 8.5 days per year. Per person? Per person. What? I'd watch more than that, wouldn't I?

No, full 24-hour cycles. So seven full weeks of non-stop watching per year. Holy moly. Wow, that is so much. That's a great effort. But then you think about if you binge a series or a show and you do lots of shows every year and you're on the couch from after dinner until bed every night or most nights,

that is a big chunk of time added up. When you binge watch, like, what do we binge? When you binge watch, like, the whole series of Sopranos or something. Like, that's hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. Like, seasons that have multiple, shows that have multiple seasons and episodes. You just binge them. The Crown, that's our biggest watch, is The Crown, Stranger Things and Tiger King. Well, you get on a run, don't you?

Yeah. And then you just, it would be interesting to, When you finish a series, this would actually be... This is a great idea for Netflix. Yeah. When you finish a series, it'll say, you took three weeks to watch this show. The average person watched it in two weeks. Or, you know, you started on this date, you finished on that date.

That's three weeks from start to end. And the average person took one week or something. Just so at the end, you could be like, well started on this date, you finished on that date. That's, you know, three weeks from start to end. And the average person took one week or something. Just so at the end you could be like, well, at least I'm not that person. Yeah. To give you an idea, a website has totaled up the total number of hours it would take you to watch, like, all the biggest TV shows in the world. If you watched all of Friends, that would take you five hours in one day. What?

Sorry, five days in one hour. I was going to say. What are you watching on triple speed or something? I've just got like this massive list of hours, days, hours. So, yeah, that would take you Friends five days, one hour. SpongeBob SquarePants, 120 hours, five days. Wow. How I Met Your Mother, if you were days. Wow. How I Met Your Mother,

if you were to do the whole How I Met Your Mother, that would take you four days, eight hours. See, that takes up, I mean, I feel like some of us are doing more than the average because 8.5 days a year, 8.5 days. How many hours is that? Is 204 hours. Right.

That's a lot, eh? Yeah. But yeah, so Game of Thrones, that was two days, 22 hours. Right. Just all in a row. Yep. So nearly just shy of three days. Yeah.

So I mean, it'd be pretty easy to add up to eight days. Yeah. So if you were to watch all of Friends, you've already used up way more than half of your annual quota. I think I watch more. I would hate to know what I watch split over all the subscriptions I have. I think I'm subscribed to all of them.

Lots of them. Yep. Imagine if you got an end of year total. You know how Spotify do your year in music And you got a year in Hours Hours you spend on the couch Watching TV shows

You'd feel pretty bad right It's like how you get that Do you get those weekly updates On your iPhone It says you Screen time You use four hours Of screen time per day

Yeah Yeah And you're like But then But I didn't have I didn't have 30 minutes To exercise But heaps of those

Were while you're watching Netflix or a show So I don't have 30 minutes to exercise. But heaps of those were while you were watching Netflix or a show. I don't watch Netflix on my phone. He's trying to help you out. No, you're on your phone while you're watching Netflix. Oh, yes. So your screen time's doubling. That's my point there. Oh, dear.

I'm just trying to make you feel better about your sloth life. My sloth life. I'm very slothful. Hey, we've got a gym class today. We do. One o'clock. But technically you'll be watching that screen. Can you guess what our favourite...

Yeah, we will be watching a movie while we're doing it. Can you guess what New Zealand's favourite movie is on Netflix of all time and the whole time we've had Netflix? Like a Christmas movie, like Love Actually? No. Adam Sandler movie. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Oh really? Number one. The OGHP.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the exotic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello! Travel Bubble is incoming. Hello! And that

means Australians are back, baby. Australians, they're coming back. Back and better than ever. They are snapping up tickets. So Air New Zealand saying they had a record sales day yesterday. Qantas as well saying that they had strong demand and Queenstown will see an influx of Aussies in July and September. Where's Jetstar at?

Well, I guess it's under Qantas. They're Qantas. Yeah. It's under a Qantas. So they're flying Virgin Isin until October. Playing it safe. Yeah. That's not the attitude that made Sir Richard Branson a billionaire.

And also a wave of people applying for passports yesterday because we did mention yesterday 400,000 passports have expired in the last year. And no one wants a stressful passport get because I got one and I had to live with that

photo for five years. That was me like in tears the day before leaving for Edinburgh like the pharmacy getting a quick photo to get an overnight passport.

And they never want to take too many at the pharmacy do they? No their job isn't photography. It's not a job. They don't care. They got a Sony Cybershop from 2003 and they never want to take too many at the pharmacy do they? No, their job isn't photography they don't care. They got a Sony Cybershot from 2003 with 3.2 megapixels, they then have to

take the memory card out of and plug into the computer, and they got other shit to do people need heart medication so I've got the top 6 ways to tell that the Aussies are back number 6 on the list the stink of Vegemite permeates the air. If you're just walking around,

you'll be like, I can smell Vegemite and it's not breakfast time. That will be... It's very distinct from Marmite as well, isn't it? Yes. Yeah, it's a lot more yeasty.

Yeah. I prefer Vegemite. I do too, controversially, but, you know, keep it in the kitchen. The smell of Vegemite's in the kitchen, but Aussies put a little behind the ear before they head out. It's like a mating thing, isn't you know, keep it in the kitchen. The smell of Vegemite's in the kitchen, but Aussies put a little behind the ear before they head out.

It's like a mating thing, isn't it? Yeah, it is. To attract other Aussies. Yeah. Maybe they even slap a bit around, you know, the nether regions. Just to get them going. Top six ways to tell that the Aussies are back.

When the wind blows from the west. This is are back. When the wind blows from the west. This is number five. When the wind blows from the west, you can hear the gentle rustling of the mullet in the breeze. Yeah. They do love a mullet. It's their time, though. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. But only from the back.

Yeah. Yeah. Only from the back. How dare you even consider the front. Number four on the list of the top six ways to tell that the Aussies are back. Yeah. Yeah. Only from the back. How dare you even consider the front. Number four on the list of the top six ways to tell that the Aussies are back, baby. What's that sound in the distance? That, my friend, is the sound of the didgeridoo.

Didgeridoo music will fill the air. You'll see a Toyota Yaris rental car drive pass and you'll hear the unforgettable, non-mistakable tones of the didgeridoo. They're always on their didgeridoos. Always on the didgeridoo. And if they're not on the didgeridoo, they're listening to their favourite didgeridoo music. Yeah, they are. On any of their streaming services.

Sure. Number three on the list of the top six ways to tell the Aussies are back, you'll open up your barbecue and it will have a sticky shrimp-type residue on it because, you know those Aussies, they can't help throwing in another shrimp on the barbie. They love it. And they don't clean it afterwards. It smells. You've got to scrub it away because it's fishy and shelf.

You're not getting your Airbnb bond back. No. If you leave a sticky shrimp mess. Leave a bit of pork mess on there, a bit of beef mess, but lamb mess, never a shrimpy mess on the barbie. Number two on the list of the top six ways to tell Aussies are back. As you said,

Queenstown for the snow season is going to be overrun. They're the ones with corks on their beanies. So they've got their beanies on and then they've got corks hanging off the beanies. Well, that'd really be quite close to the face, wouldn't it?

Very close. Because the brim of the usual hat keeps them away a bit. But no, it's right on there. It stops the flies getting on the face of the little cork tap. Got to do what you got to do to keep the flies away. Yeah. And the number one way to tell that the Aussies are back, simply anywhere you are, stop in the silence of nature and yell,

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Aye, aye, aye. It'll happen. Yeah. They can hear that from miles away. Their ears are especially tuned for it. Yeah. That is today's top six.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Spells, ZMD Tank. Miriam, good morning. Hi, how are you going? Good, good. All right, welcome to ZMD Tank, Hayley's favourite radio competition. Now, you're on the imaginary forecourt. Your fuel is pumping.

The cash amount will go up. You can say stop at any time to secure that dollar amount. But if you are two to that and moved on, you lose the cash. And we've had many amounts. We've had it go at 50, at 100, at 200, at 250. It's gone up to 600. Yeah, we had a devastating blow yesterday, wasn't it? So disappointing.

We had a loss at seven. So, Miriam, are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. All right, yell out stop when you want the cash. $5. $45. $100. $5 $45 $100 $120 $175

$200 $230 $250 $250 $285 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $310 $285, $310. Oh! No!

No! No! No! No! You didn't get it. It beats. It beats before. It was like, I got through.

No, there was. I believe there was a buzzer. Now, we may be able to get an action replay of this. We will just have to give Producer Jared just a quick second to bring up our replay system. Oh, my gosh. That was so close. Executive intern Anya, for your listening ears, you would say that the buzzer went after she said, before she said stop. That was your initial thought?

That was my initial thought. That was also my initial thought. We are going to check the replay for you, though, Miriam, because that was an absolute split. This is like a run out in cricket. Yeah, or a try and the foot's in the touch. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I hope we get this, because that was a high amount. You've got bowels of steel,

babe. She's like, I don't care, give me the money. Miriam, I believe, producer Jared, you can send that through to us, that replay. We're going to try. I'm turning my volume right up. Okay. It's not.

Oh, here we go. $310. Stop. Oh, no. Go again. Go again. As soon as the buzzer started, you said stop after. Let's have another listen.

$250. $250. $285. $310. Oh, no. It buzzed you. It got you. It got you.

Miriam, you've lost. Damn. I'm so sorry. You were so close. Why didn't you stop? I would have stopped at the 200s. I was getting so nervous. Every time we get to 200, I'm like, I'm so close.

Okay. Well, Miriam, unfortunately, we cannot give you that free fuel. Oh, that's all right. Okay, you were moved on, but we do have another shot. Miriam's not angry at us. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, who knows? Miriam, we just work at the service station. They put the prices up Miriam's not angry at us. Yeah, it's not. Yeah. Miriam, we just work at the service station.

They put the prices up. Don't be angry at us. Don't be angry at us. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A British, a young man, a British young man's made headlines for leaving a post-it note in his car.

Oh, yeah. To not get a ticket in an area. Now, he says at the top, phone and pay app not working. Oh, okay, right. Please don't give me a ticket. Please don't give me ticket on proper skint. I've done that. I left a note when my car's broken down in a car park.

I parked on a hill once and, you know, when you've got no gas and you've got no money to put gas, you park on a hill and it won't start. Yeah, because it's run to the front of the tank. It's run to the front. And I did the same. I said, car broken down, please don't take it. And I didn't get a ticket. But then just because your car

is broken down, that doesn't mean you can't afford to pay for parking. Yeah, but then you've got to leave it there for days. I'm not paying for days of them. And that worked. Do you reckon that worked? Or do you just reckon no parking wardens went past that day? Oh, I reckon no parking wardens.

I don't think that would work. Yeah, it's a real roll of the dice. Yeah. With the old parking wardens. Because when I locked my keys in the car and I couldn't get into my car, I just left a thing saying, oh, please don't tell this. I've locked my keys in the car. Yep.

And came back. And they'd written underneath, okay. I was like, well, that's nice. It's good that they saw it. Wow, okay. And I was like, that's good. And I left my number and everything. Oh, okay, yeah, right.

For them to call me if they needed to know what the story was. Yep. And I mean, I didn't get away with it that time on Queen Street recently when I was nipping into that computer store and I parked in the loading zone and left my indicators on. Yeah. That guy took a photo of me.

I look like a criminal. But I find generally if you leave a note, people are pretty good about it. I see the odd note left and I'm like, you're just trying your luck. Yeah. You're trying it on. Handy, but it didn't work for this guy. He got the ticket. He got the ticket.

He got the ticket. And what blows my mind is in Britain where this happened, well, this particular city, they put your ticket inside a sealed plastic sleeve so that you can't claim it blew away. Yeah, the water ruined it or it blew away. It's like this big thing, boom, under the window. You know when you get a box and a package

and they put the invoice and the address in that sealed thing? The pocket. The pocket, the plastic pocket. It's so that you can't say it blew away. That thing. Yeah. It's crazy. And so what, is he going to pay it?

He's put it online and heaps of people, he's had like 31,000 likes. A whole lot of people have retweeted it and people are offering to chip in. But if the app wasn't working, like he says, then if you can prove with a screenshot or something, but then they'll always say, oh, just go to the nearest machine.

Even though it's like a K away. One of the big car parks in Auckland, the machines were on the fritz. Do you remember that? It's the underground car park. What's that called? The civic car park. And the machines were on the fritz. It was like, oh, card's not working, must pay cash. But who's carrying cash? Yeah.

I reckon if you can't provide a way for people to pay, you can't expect them to go out of their way to pay it. I reckon your Honda Accord could get under a barrier arm. Ah, it can't. I've tried. I'll tell you exactly where it hits. At about head height on the windscreen. Yeah, right.

They don't have any gear. You can't just... Nah. Oh, no. Famously, those arms will either snap right off and then they become your $2,500 situation to replace or they'll just scrape all over the roof of your car. I reckon an MX-5. Yeah, or a go-kart.

A lower MX-5. A little Mario-kart. Yeah. Don't try this at home. Oh, no, we're certainly not encouraging that at a car park. Goodness me, no. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, apologies to the truck driver somewhere in New Zealand that we just called.

PJ gave us the wrong number, but we have now been connected with PJ. Good morning, PJ. Good morning. Great friend. Who would have known that you need the extra two? It's quite important. Right. Well, you've just given everybody one step closer to knowing your mobile number.

Yeah, there you go. It ends in a two. It does. Knock yourselves out, New Zealand. And for those that don't know, PJ used to work with us here at ZM, currently on KISS in Melbourne, and is in managed isolation in New Zealand because you're going to do the show from New Zealand for the next wee while.

That's right. And you flew. Round two. Round two, baby. Did you fly in what day, Friday or Saturday? I honestly don't know what day it is. Thursday. Sunday.

No. What are we now? We're Thursday, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah, so I flew in Sunday. And then like literally days ago, we find out that the bubble is

going to open on the 19th and that is the day before you get out. Yeah, I just like to live life on the edge, guys. Oh my gosh, that is so infuriating. I'm just crazy. Now, the funny is, there was a lot of speculation this would happen.

And I actually thought maybe it would happen next week. And even the nurse came to my door and she was like, all eyes and ears on the announcement. And so I thought we were going to maybe get an early release. It's like I'm in prison. But it's fine. It's actually really good. Have you got a good sitch?

Like a good hotel? Well, I've just opened the curtains really wide because I swear Wellington's never been this beautiful. I don't know if it's like every day that goes that I can't actually get out. I just want to see it more because it's just getting more and more beautiful. You can't beat it on a good day.

That's a stunt. That's why they say that. Yeah, very drippy. Very drippy. When it rains, yeah, Lambden Cay is very drippy. We've had an issue it rains, yeah, Lambda K is very drippy. We've had an issue with that for years, haven't we? Well, it's looking stunning this morning. That's good.

Now, has there been any change in managed isolation since you did it last time? Like, are they any stricter? So, I'm actually hanging out from my exercise window, which is at 8 o'clock. Right. So, that's when the little army guy comes and knocks on my door. Okay, and is he good looking? You've got a fiancé now, you're not allowed to answer that. I am, but look, they're very lovely to deal with.

We don't need another case of that though, do we? It's a work of having a little hanky-panky with a guest. No, yeah, no. of that though, do we? We don't. I work out having a little hanky-panky with a guest. Yeah, no. So I got told off actually because I, yeah, like, it is quite strict and like you have to sanitise everywhere and like remember to social distance when you're going everywhere and downstairs and stuff. But yeah, I'm hanging out to go for my little 30-minute walk.

What did you get told off for? Were you talking too much? Yeah, well, I just walked in the lift without sanitising my hands. Oh, fancy. I've been quite nonchalant. Yeah, right. You know, you kind of just forget, because we've come back from getting as normal over in Melbourne now. Yeah, right.

Okay. So it's just getting used to it. Right. And then you'll be released the day before the bubble opens. Yeah, so I get out at about 5pm and the bubble commences, I think it's about 12am. Yeah, it is.

Pretty sad. Why didn't you wait? Because I just like, the thing is, nothing's certain in 2020, well, after the year we've had. And, you know, like, you can say, yeah, it's going to happen, but then who knows.

So I just wanted to get back on home soil and, you know, make sure that I can get out. But Jase has been threatening me that he is going to come over and literally as I walk out, he's going to pick me up. Oh, yeah. That is something he'd do. That's something he'd do. I know. I'd be so

filthy. But I don't think it can physically happen. Wow. The timing truly couldn't be worse. Yeah, it really couldn't be. As they said in the news article yesterday, ouch. Yeah, ouch. PJ, all the best in managed

isolation. Good to have you back on home soil. Thanks, guys. Love you. Kia ora. I'm Simon Bound, and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting

and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network

in partnership with Sparklab. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A new survey is looking to our food habits, particularly after this pandemic thing that's been happening. What? They've changed a little bit. What's happened? Oh God, I don't know.

Carbs. Where do I start? What's happened? Where are we at? Carbs. Carbs have been happening. Carbs are up. Looking particularly at dinner.

Okay. Looking at dinner. Do you guys say how often would you get takeaways in a week versus how many times? Well, it depends. Am I being healthy

or am I being not? Am I being a good boy or am I being a naughty boy? Or am I being naughty? When you're being a naughty boy, how many times? All the time. All the time.

Because I live in the city. I'm surrounded by food options literally two minutes walk in any direction. I wouldn't handle it. No, it's very hard. Well, I'm a cooker. I cook in any direction. I wouldn't handle it. No, it's very hard. Well, I'm a cooker. I cook in the family.

Last night, Wednesday night, I spent an hour and 45 minutes and I made a full family roast for my fiance and I. On a Wednesday? On a Wednesday. What meat? Chicken. A roast chuck. I did a lemon oregano sort of Greek style roast chuck.

My carbohydrates of choice were koumira and baby carrots. It was sweet and I put a little bitgano sort of Greek style roast chuck. My carbohydrates of choice were kumara and baby carrots. It was sweet and I put a little bit of honey around it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're glazing carrots now. For my greens, I did do a bit of steamed brock. It is my favourite. Controversial. No, not at all.

Not with gravy. No, and then I made the most beautiful panjoo gravy. Oh, here we go. It was beautiful. It was all lemony and herby. That is so much time. Yeah, and then we ate it in like 10 minutes and went to sleep. Yeah.

Well, a survey of 2,000 people has found that. Hold on, hold on. What did you have for dinner last night? Fletch? Fish? Fish. Fish? I was just like, what did I have for dinner?

Still haven't watched Seaspiracy then? No. Yeah, I ate fish tacos the night before and I was like, I'll watch that taco. Later. Maybe the weekend. Yeah, after I had fish. Well, it's found that 59% of people feel way too tired at the end of the day to actually cook anything. Totally.

Come home from work, you a good normal work hours, 5pm, 6pm, and you're just like, I can't. I'm done with the day. Let's get a takiawais. Let's just not do that. One in three people surveyed

said that they don't want to cook because they just can't decide what to eat. Well, that's, do you and your partner fight over what you're having for dinner much? Or do you just No I cook I do

95% of the cooking And I feel like No we don't fight about it I'm cooking What's Greg Grover From Nova's dish If he's gonna cook He looks like a

Meat and three taties Don't shake your head And breathe out your nose Like that God I hate that I get that a lot at home Say something And then I just get

I shake it I shake it And breathe out the nose He's. God, I hate that. I get that a lot at home. Say something and then I just get... A shake of the head and a breath out the nose. He's getting better. He's getting better. He'd usually cook something healthy for me, like some chicken thighs and maybe some brock and some... The thigh is the ultimate kind of chicken. Yeah.

Oh, my God. If we've got time to talk about that. You'll quite often have an argument about what's for dinner. It's the indecisiveness about what's for dinner. Yeah. What do you want for dinner? I don't know. What do you want for dinner?ecisiveness about what's for dinner. What do you want for dinner? I don't know. What do you want for dinner?

I don't know. I asked you, what do you want for dinner? I'm sure it's everybody. Oh my God, I hate that. And then you finally decide, then you sit down and you're like, what should we watch while we eat dinner? You're like, I hate you. Well, this confuses me though,

because one in three Americans say they don't cook because they can't decide what to make. But then you're like, we'll get takeaways. And then you've got to decide what takeaways. The whole conversation again. Yeah. And here's an interesting one. 31% of people surveyed

admitted that they don't cook because they can't be bothered doing the dishes. Wow. That's like, ha ha, but at the same time you think of all,

you can't be bothered doing the dishes, that means everything that they're getting, they're just throwing all the packaging away. I know. You don't wash your plastic containers? No. And did you see- Well, that doesn everything that they're getting, they're just throwing all the packaging away. I know. You don't wash your plastic containers?

No. And did you see... Well, that doesn't sound like they are. If they can't be bothered doing the dishes, you can't be bothered properly rinsing out and reusing a plastic container, can you? Do you see in America at the moment, they've got a shortage of takeaway sauce sachets?

Really? Because of the last year, basically all the ketchup places haven't been able to keep up with. They just didn't see this coming. Okay. No, I bet not. And now they're just like, okay, we're going to...

Heinz is like, we did not see this coming. Why don't people, if they're getting takeaways so much, just buy a big bottle of Heinz and have it in the fridge and still get there? Yeah, I don't... It doesn't make any sense. It's like when you get caught short for fishing, you go to the beach for fish and chips

and you forget to take your own sauce and you go to buy one of those rip and dips and it's like, yo, yo, and I'll grab a little rip and dip can of sauce and they're like, okay, that's $1,000. Yeah. You son of a, that's too much for sauce. All right, the latest is next.

We've been talking about food a lot. I'm hungry. Also tongs, eh? How much of a pain in the ass are tongs to wash? Not that bad. No, I just put them in the dishwasher. Oh, you dishwasher and your tongs. I don't buy that dish.

No. Takes up too much room in the utensil bonger. No, I put them on the side in the tray in between a thing so they don't flip or open the full way. Same. You're an absolute amateur with tongs. No, I'm not an amateur with tongs. You are an amateur.

If you wedge it in between the glass, you're not going to get a good wash. My tongs always come out squeaky clean. Yeah, same. You're not going to get a good wash. You are an amateur with tongs. Put it in this thing and put a bit of elbow grease in it and stop complaining.

I pre-wash everything. Well, there's a water shortage. Yeah, but my wife is a shocker. She has no idea what the dishwasher is. She half-arses the dishes because she knows I can't stand it. And then I'll come in and sort the whole thing out. Better wife? Yeah, okay, you're fine.

I'll take the feedback on board. We'll leave it there. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, a study's been done about Dr. Google. They call it cyberchondria. Ooh. That's a good one, eh? That's a good term. Like hypochondria or it cyberchondria. That's a good one, eh?

Like hypochondria or... Cyberchondria. Because you get online and you make it a whole lot worse than it is. But that's not to belittle symptoms. You should always go to a doctor if you've got symptoms. Don't go to Google and then put it off. Get to a medical professional. Well, so researchers did a study

and they have said that patients that use Dr. Google, or just use Google, to find out what's wrong with them, will likely get the right diagnosis. Oh, really? And that's what doctors love, eh? When you go to the doctor, you're like, I've actually been Googling, and this is what's wrong with me. They must just think, God, all that time I spent at med school,

that was worth a day for this. Jumped up little shit to come in here and tell me. I know. And then when you get it right, they'll be like, Damn it. Yeah. Do you know how big my student loan still is?

I'd say to the patient, if you're so smart, write your own prescription. That's right. You can't. Yeah, true. Exactly, yeah. That's crazy, you can't. Yeah, true. Exactly, yeah. That's crazy, though, that they usually get it right

because I feel like when you Google anything, all the symptoms are the same. Fatigue. Yeah. You know, headache. Diarrhea. Diarrhea, cramping. And you're like...

And everything's cancer. Everything's cancer. And you're like, oh, great, I've got cancer. Well, you just... if you eat too fast. Yeah. Sometimes if I'm really hungry, I'll eat too fast. And then I'll get that sore stomach, that indigestion. Yeah.

And I'll be like, you Google the symptoms of that. And it's like, well, yeah, you're dying. You're dead now. Yeah. You've got moments to live. This is what I wanted to ask. So this study is saying that, you know, people can use Dr. Google and normally get the right diagnosis, but has anybody Googled their symptoms and freaked out

and they've got it completely wrong? Yeah. Because I, you know, this is Google. I don't think this is that right. No. I mean, you know. People might, there might be a long list of things, but you always go, it's that, like, what is it called?

Cyberchondria. Yeah. You go for the worst case scenario, you start running through that in the old head. Like, have you ever Googled something and you've been completely wrong and you've seen the doctor and they're like, oh, you're nuts, there's nothing to worry about. I had a lump under my armpit once. Oh. And I was like, that's weird.

And I could feel it and I Googled it and I was like men can get breast cancer too. Did you tell me about this? Nah. Why didn't you say? Because I would have just said go to the doctor. I know you probably would have said, something's always wrong with you. I never get sick. I probably would have said that. No, I would have said go to the doctor. I said, oh, the only

appointments during the show and you would have said go at the weekend. Or go after the show. I said, oh, the only appointments during the show. And you would have said, go at the weekend. Or go after the show. So, I was like, I googled it and it was like, men can get breast cancer too. And I'm like, well, that's it. I'm the guy that's going to get breast cancer. Yeah, but that's not your breasts. It's your armpits.

Guys, get it under here. Do they? Yeah, under here. And so I was like, finally went to the doctor and the doctor was like, oh, no, there's nothing to worry about, mate. That's an ingrown hair. And then I was like, finally went to the doctor, and the doctor was like, oh, no, there's nothing to worry about, mate. That's an ingrown hair. And then I went home, and the next day, it was gone. Oh, wow.

It was like, they didn't give me anything. So you don't... Okay, well, see, this is what I want to know. They didn't even pull the hair out or nothing, and it was gone. I, too, have had a number of ingrown hairs that I've suspected of something else as well, but in a different region.

And I've had that panic. Oh, really? Of something that may stay with you for life. Oh, you thought you had herpes. So you Googled and it's like, Dr. Google's like herpes. And you're like, oh, well, that's great. Yeah, if you've got sort of like a painful,

maybe get a Brazilian or something, you're on holiday and then you get a lump and you're like, well, here we go. This is me for life. Yeah, I sat on that toilet. I got the hurt. I got the hurt. I want to know this morning, 0800-DARLS.N.

Give us a call. You can text 9696. When did you Google something and freak yourself out and you were completely wrong? When did Dr. Google put you wrong? Give us a call. But talking about Dr. Google. Yeah, Googling and obviously jumping to the worst case scenario immediately.

Yeah. Rather than the more low level, easy to solve problem that it turned out to be. Yeah, so when did Dr. Google put you wrong? Yeah, some text messages. I Googled iTwitch and how long it had been going for, et cetera. It said I was about to have a stroke. Oh, no. It just sounds like you need more sleep. Magnesium deficiency.

Oh, okay. Magnesium deficiency can lead to cramping but also twitching. Bananas. Bananas. Oh, no, that's potassium. That's potassium. What has magnesium in it? Fresh greens, right?

Oh, yeah. Green vegetables. Silver beets and spinach. Yeah, they got a little bit. Okay, I can see why. Pumpkin seeds, almond spinach. Silver beets. Yeah, silver beets. Spinach. Yeah, they got a little bit. I can see why. Almond seeds and spinach. Boring stuff. What about cake?

Could you make a cake and open up those magnesium tablets you get and sprinkle them in the cake? Magnesium. And then that tastes yuck, so add more chocolate. Yeah. Beth, when did Dr. Google put you wrong? So about a year ago. Okay. Just over a year.

2019, anyways. Okay. So I Googled all my symptoms, and I was, like, feeling real crappy, you know? Can I say crappy? Yeah. Yeah, no, we'll get that slide. Yep. I was feeling real terrible, you know? And then I Googled all my symptoms and it recognised

like stomach cancer. Oh, no. Okay. That's a big one. I went to the doctor because I was like, man, I can't live with stomach cancer. Right. Because I was pregnant. Oh!

You know, Beth, we'll get to more of these messages soon because so many people thought they were very, very ill and it turned out they were pregnant. Wow. We've had so many text messages, people who went to the doctor thinking they had one thing and it turns out they were pregnant. Did you at any stage, Beth, say to the doctor,

I've Googled, I think it's stomach cancer? No, I went in there and I was like at my pre, like that triage bit where like they do it before. Yep. And they're like, did you know you're pregnant? And I was like, what? I would have been like, you shut your mouth.

We are talking about Dr. Google when you've Googled your symptoms and you've been wrong and you freaked out. So some text messages on the subject years ago. My friend who's a doctor has messaged in saying,

oh, this drives me nuts. It's always cancer or people want scans for nothing. Always abdominal pain. Vets have been messaging in saying, if you think humans are bad when they're diagnosing themselves, wait till they're diagnosing their sweet little tittles. Yeah, I did that recently. We went to the vet with these real concerns.

We're like, our cat just won't stop crying for food. He's so hungry. He was like, it's a cat. Yeah. But he's stressed out. It's like, that's all they do. Go home. Somebody said that their sister diagnosed themselves.

Oh, they had a rash all over their chest and upper arms. And they did a Google and it was scabies. Oh, no. So, oh, God, it was all on. Mum washed every single thing she owned, the whole house, new bed linen. Mum Googled how to get rid of scabies. And then we went to the doctor and she had a test and it turns out she's allergic to tomatoes.

Oh, but at least you've got some new linen. Oh, my God. Yeah, I hope mum splashed out on some nice linen. Me and Aaron, me and my fiancé thought we had scabies once and we did that full wash, like the bath wash thing. What was it? I can't. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, no. She's crying everybody They were two totally separate things But we like egged each other on I had an eczema breakout And he had a stress rash But because

But at the same time We were like Scabies A couple of hypochondriacs there And then when you were in Just like this echo chamber Of hypochondria Just egging each other on

And then like looking at each other Being like oh my god Scraping Scabies. So Tegan, when did Dr. Google put you wrong? It was actually a few weeks ago. So I had like real bad abdominal pain.

I went to the doctor, seen a nurse so she took a urine sample and she found bilirubin in it. She told me to Google it while sitting next to her and she was freaking out and it actually said my liver was failing. She got me an emergency appointment with a doctor. He'd done all these tests and stuff,

and it just turns out it was just from these detox pills I was taking. So she freaked out and said my liver was failing. Oh, wow. Okay. Is it fair to say that if the detox pills are giving you the same results as liver failure, they're probably not the best things to be taking? Like most detoxes.

I stopped them. I stopped them, but I couldn't believe a nurse told me to Google it. Yeah. Oh, my God. She's busy. Nurses are busy. They're multitasking. Brilliant.

Tegan, thanks for your call. Anonymous, when did Dr. Google put you crook? I used the toilet. Yeah. And some, I had to Google my symptoms because it was black poo. Oh, no. Had a couple of Guinnesses, had you? Or charcoal? Post-San Patrick's Day.

So then I Googled it and Google told me that I had internal bleeding. Oh my gosh, that's serious. Right, and that could be any number of things, couldn't it? It could be cancer. So did you go to the doctor after that? Yeah, well, I went straight to the ER because it was late at night. And I took my partner with me because I needed some moral support. Of course, you're dying.

And after like five hours of waiting in the ER, the doctor finally saw me and was like, the first question he asked was, what did you eat recently? Did you eat anything black recently? And then that's when I remembered that

I had charcoal bread like a few days earlier. How does one forget one ate charcoal bread? That's black bread. There was a lot of dread. Anonymous. Brilliant, anonymous. You ate charcoal bread to the things along like beetroot.

You've got to put a little mark on your hand to remind you. Yeah, exactly. Anonymous. Thanks for your call. Some other text messages. I was so thirsty. Like I was drinking three litres of water a day and I was still thirsty. Dr. Google said you've got diabetes, type 2 diabetes, which seemed plausible.

Went to the actual doctor, not diabetes, pregnant. Oh, wow. That's another one of the pregnancy stories. So many of those. I had a shooting pain in my lower left abdomen. And I thought, after Googling, this has got appendicitis written all over it. Yeah. I went to the doctor.

They took a urine sample, and it was a twofer. I got told I was pregnant and had a urinary tract infection. Oh. Yeah, right. So that's a twofer there. Happy Tuesday. Dr. Google tells me I've got an autoimmune disease, but I'm too scared to go to the doctor in case it's right.

Now, here's the thing. Oh, no. The doctor has medication that could help with that. Yes. And avoiding it does not make it go away. This study that actually got us onto talking about this found that most people will find out what's wrong with them. They're likely to get a right diagnosis.

Yes. Someone said, I thought I had an ingrown hair on my sternum. Dr. Google said I had shingles. So I went to the doctor and bingo, it was shingles. They got it right. Got onto the antivirals early enough.

It saved me a lot of time and pain. Few people getting shingles. Shingles. You've had shingles? I've had shingles. Horrible. I've got scars all over my face. Oh, did you get it on the face?

And Aaron got it years later. He got it on the face as well. And it's so dangerous because it comes down near your eyes and it goes in your eyes blind. I thought only over 50s got that. No, it's people who work hard. Yeah, I got it when I was at driver school.

Why did you get it then? Yeah, very stressful time. High stress. Yes, stressful. Work to the bone. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Breaking news. Stop the show.

That Rachel Jackson-Lee's failed to mention, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Breaking news. Stop the show! That Rachel Jackson-Leigh's failed to mention, we've all just received targeted advertising for a 10-week chicken schnitzel festival. It's called Schnitty Fest. Schnitty, schnitty, schnitty. It's Auckland only at the Bavarian in Newmarket. Suck it, rest of New Zealand. This is a 10-week Auckland-based schnitzel festival.

I literally feel dizzy. Will they do a chicken palming? It's featuring 10 new... Get out. It's 10 new limited edition schnitzel flavours at the Bar Varian in Auckland. Ugh. Including Mexican schnitzel.

When did the Mexicans start doing schnitzel? There is a photo of this Mexican schnitzel. It has guac and corn and mints and corn chips and sour cream and coriander on top of a piece of beautiful schnitzel. There's Hawaiian schnitty. That's got double smoked ham, green pineapple, neapot, nalapalooza sauce and fries. Oh my God. Listen, on Wednesdays, there's a $10 schnitzel blitz. Oh, it's a schnitzel blitz.

Yes, yes, yes. All of the limited edition schnitzel blitz. Oh, it's a schnitzel blitz. Yes, yes, yes. All of the limited edition schnitzels are available for $10. Schnitzel blitz or a blitzel schnitzel blitz. Wow. As you can see, this news has taken us by surprise and we're absolutely over the moon with it. The only time my brother and I ever like high-fived was when we'd be like, what's for dinner?

And mum would be like, schnitzel. We'd be like, yes! And you'd bond. The only time. This is okay. It was the 90s. We're getting the tap on the watch, but I don't care. Joining us in studio soon is Guy Williams.

Hey there, Schnitzel guy. His show is back. His schno. His schno. His schno. His schno is back. From now on, every word that starts with S has got a sch. He said today is back.

I will bring us back to the topic. And Guy Williams is going to talk to us about it. Such a good show. Pleasure born in Megan with Hayley Spells. ZFD Tech. Good morning, Libby. How are you? Hi, I'm good, thank you, how are you? Hi, I'm good thank you, how are you? Schnitzel fan, Schnitzel fan Libby?

I can't say I've ever had one You've never had a schnitzel? It's just thin meat I don't think so What? But it's just meat, It's crumbed thin fried meat. Yeah, I don't know why. You need to get yourself to the 10-week Schnitty Fest in Auckland. Libby! Now, Libby, it's time to play.

We're going to get afterwards. Stay on the phone. I'm going to get your parents' address. I feel like they need a visit. Right. If you win some money, you're going to spend it on schnitty. Alright? Yeah. Alright. Well Libby, you're on our imaginary ZM4

court here. We had a close Oh my god, it was dramatic. 7 o'clock, 7 o'clock, a bit of drama. The buzzer came in, she said stop. She missed out on $300 odd dollars of the fuel. Would we say by a split second, half a second? We did an action replay. So Libby, you yell out stop when you want the cash amount. It could by a split second, half a second? We did an action replay.

So Libby, you yell out stop when you want the cash amount. It could stop anywhere between, what, $50? We've had $50 amounts. Up to $600. Before? Okay. So you yell out stop when you want the fuel. Here we go.

$5. $55. $95. $100. $100 $110 $165 $165 That is 16.5 schnitzels. That is not bad.

I heard that like boof sound and I was like, it's coming. All right, should we see how high it would have gone, Libby? Yeah, sure. $190. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, thank God. $165 free fuel is yours, Libby. Congratulations.

Thanks so much. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Slightly distracted by schnitzel in studio, but we move our topic now to Tinder. Tinder. One of Tinder's most swiped.

Ah, yeah. Tinder, did you say? Tinder schnitzel. I did not. It's a fine line, though. It's a very thin meat. You can go dry so quickly. Oh, so easily.

One of Tinder's most swiped right daters has shared some top tips on how to achieve dating app success. I've never been on Tinder. I've been with my partner for 10 years, and so we missed the chance. The dating app. I would have thrived. Are you like Vaughn when

somebody single has Tinder or a dating app, you love to just get on and give it a go? I love it! And it's absolutely like I was sort of doing human Tinder at the time. You know what I mean? Walking through a crowd. Walking through a queue of dudes. And like the Warriors waiting at the toilet.

You're like, nah, nah, nah. You wait there, I might be back. Nah, nah, nah. Well this You wait there, I might be back. Yeah, no, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, well, this is one of the all-time swipe riders. I can see why. His name's James. He's well-kept.

Do they reach out to you, Tinder, and they say, you are one of the top swipe people in all the world? Well, you'd know how many matches you've had, wouldn't you? I guess so, yeah. But then you'd have to

swipe them as well. So is this dude just swiping every single person in the hopes that even if a smaller percentage swipe back? It would be people swiping him. He's stat hungry. I mean, he's a hottie. He's an absolute hottie. Right.

So, I mean, is that, you say you've got his tips. I've got his tips. But is that what it comes down to? You've just got to be an absolute stud muffin. It doesn't hurt. Right. It doesn't hurt the stats. He's got a good jawline.

So we'll start at the bottom of his top tips. I'll give you those five hot top tips to become a Tinder swipey hottie. You might not know this, Hayley, and you listeners to the show, but last year in the lockdown, when before he had a midi, producer Jared was actually an absolute Tinder Casanova. How many, tell Hayley how many you got? I was hovering around 456. Exactly, around. Around, exactly.

Roughly, yeah. Like 500 hotties wanting to have a go. Yep, I'm a bit of a skunk. A go on a date. Wow, having a hoon on a date. That's a high hit rate. How many dates did you go on before you met the mini? Not many.

She was one of the matches, though. Yeah, she was one of the matches. But she was just right down in the hay pile. She was like the needle in the haystack. Yeah, yeah. Took me a while to find her. That's right. That is only a testament to how beautiful and how interesting and wonderful she is.

Because if she fought through nearly 500 other hot hotties that had the swipe match. Would it be interesting to compare, to see if any of these were the same as you, Gerard? Yeah, you might not need these, but listen up. Number five, activate the recently active button. So you want a bit, you know, because you don't want people to be like,

is he even around? Is he even engaged in this? Because you know a lot of people have Tinder just sitting on their phone. They might not use it. They might not use it. They might not say that, but then I feel like they're alone. They're definitely using it. I'm not even really using it, but you can tell that they get bored and use it.

Do you know how, I'll just do a little sidestep. He says how he decides to swipe right on someone, they have to meet one criteria is, would I be happy to be sat opposite this person in a bar? And you're judging that on their appearance. Of course you are. Number four on his tips, ensure that

all information and photos on your profile are fully finished, including additional links to social media pages. So don't have a lazy half-arse profile that you're like, interests include dogs. Right. Did you link your Spotify emo music playlist, Jared?

I did, actually. Wow. But it's good. It helps to tell what kind of person you are. Yeah, good. Number three, use Tinder on desktop rather than logging in through the app because it reportedly boosts your ratings.

Really? Your rankings. So he is actually, he's going for the stats more than the actual finding your ratings. Your rankings. So he is actually going for the stats more than the actual finding love in a hopeless place. I didn't know you could log on on a desktop. It's like Instagram, I guess. You can go on. Can you? Yeah.

Number two, avoid any mention of your job or financial status on your profile. What if you're a baller? Yeah, and you're on your private yacht. Would you put a photo up on you? Maybe it's like you don't mention it, but you have a photo of you on the yacht and you're like, well, I want this. This is my means of transport. And it's number one,

have photos that tell a story and detailed bio with a clear call to action. What are you there for? Are you there for a long time or a good time? What about me holding like a giant fish? A giant schnitzel. I won't have a picture of a schnitzel because it is universally pleasing to everybody who lays their eyes on the perfectly cooked golden crumb schnitzel.

Well, there you go, Daters. I hope this helps you out. All right, some top tips there from one of Tinder's most swiped. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Joining us in studio, his show on television tonight, New Zealand Today, Guy Williams. Hello. Thanks so much for having

me a pleasure I feel stressed oh we're gonna plug the show sorry and I'm just gonna start straight off with a first of all I'm worried why are you stressed just because the show's starting tonight and it could go bad it could go well I don't know what's gonna happen but you've seen it right you would have seen some of the episodes I mean you made it it's not an entire gamble yeah but the thing about comedy and you guys would know this is sometimes it goes well and sometimes it goes very badly. And for me, it's a real 50-50, Paul, isn't it? You never know which way it's going to go. So I pray it goes well.

I think because you had a break, didn't you? You had your first go at it. Yeah. And then. Not go at it. We made a show. It got cancelled. I didn't want to use

The word cancelled Better than ever Or worse than ever We're not sure We find out tonight But I mean The show was It had extremely high ratings

The first time round Like people loved it Yeah it went It went pretty well But that's the other thing Is you've got to live up to Like I've never done anything Good before in my life right

Never And so no one's ever Had any expectations of me And now people have like People are like I'm excited for the show. And I was like, just don't just,

it's New Zealand. It's just temper expectations. And if we surpass those expectations, that'll be positive. That's my dream. Yes. Under promise, over deliver.

You ever go to a movie and you expect too much from it. And then, you know, Parasite was a great film, but when they hype it up, they're like, I got a seven minute standing ovation at Cannes. You're like,

this is going to be, this is going to change my life. It doesn't change your life. It's a little bit underwhelming. Yes. Even though it's a great film. So we'll try to downplay how great it's going to be. The show's going to be terrible.

Don't watch. Tell us about where you go and what you get up to. Okay. You're heading all up and down the country. You guys probably run across this all the time because you guys, every day on the radio station, you have to talk about stories. Three years ago, I saw a headline from the Dominion Post that was there was a man who broke into Wellington Zoo

to steal a monkey. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah, and my dream, I was on Jono and Ben at the time, and my dream was to talk to him, and he went to jail. Oh. Isn't that a problem when you're trying to do an interview and your interview subject's in jail, right?

Yeah, like, can you just hold off a little bit longer? As soon as we got funding for season two, I got my Facebook. I'm like, who's this guy posting photos? I longer? As soon as we got funding for season two, I got my Facebook. I'm like, who's this guy posting photos of the most hurtest guy in my life? I put the name into Google.

It's the guy I followed on Facebook because I wanted to do an interview with him because he stole a monkey from Wellington Zoo. I get to talk to him. I'm so excited.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Do you share with him how pumped you are? Were you nervous that this long anticipated interview? I was terrified.

We had to pick him up from like rehab jail stuff. I was like, do I have to fight this guy before it starts? What's the situation here? And I just wanted to find out why someone would steal a monkey from a zoo. What kind of monkey did he try to steal? Was it a capuchin?

Capuchin, yeah. I think it was a spider monkey. What do you know about capuchins though? I'm interested in your capuchins. Ross had on Friends, right? I was just wondering if this guy was some sort of sick Friends fanatic and he wanted to set up his own Ross Geller. But Guy, you've put yourself in some extreme positions over your career.

Bad situations, yeah. Bad situations. My whole career has been nothing but bad situations. But I feel like people meet you and know you and go like, Guy, such a confident guy. He must not be scared. Do you ever get nervous before you go into one of these interviews? I get nervous before doing this radio interview right now.

Yeah, absolutely. You'd be a psychopath if you weren't, right? Yeah. Because you went into like a gang. You hung out with gang members last time. Yeah, that was the worst time of my life. We had to have a safe word and stuff like that. Oh, wow.

Yeah, I can't remember what it was. What was your safe word? I think it was Kathmandu. And I don't know how you work that into a sentence, eh? Yeah, because no one in the gang here causes wearing a Katmandu puffer jacket. I love that patched leather jacket. Is that Katmandu?

There's no way to get out of that, eh? Yeah, it's a terrifying experience. Wow. Is there an interview in your head that you are most looking forward to people seeing or a place you went to other than the monkey guy? Well, I'm surprised you have any more questions about a guy who stole a monkey from a zoo.

No, I know. Are you not amazed by that? No, did he get it out? Okay, this is what happened. He climbed the electric fence. He dropped the monkey on the wrong side of the fence, on the zoo side of the fence. So the monkey was hurt, but still in the zoo.

He cleared the fence. He made it over the landing, three metre drop but then he hit that drop with too much momentum went off another drop, eight metre drop broke both his legs and smashed his face into the concrete. I know this sounds bad but don't feel sorry for him. He was trying to steal a monkey for a zoo. I know but he must have really wanted that monkey.

He was trying to steal it for his girlfriend. That's quite romantic, eh? Oh, that's a nice bit. Isn't that a heartwarming New Zealand story? Why did he put it in the backpack? Yeah. Why would you not think that through? Was he just trying to sort of hold it like groceries when you forgot the bag?

I would assume a monkey would hold on to me. I'd be like, hold on, monkey. We're getting out of here. And then the monkey knows that it's been grabbed from its home. The monkey doesn't want to leave. But the monkey would hold on to me. I'd be like, hold on monkey, we're getting out of here. And then the monkey knows that it's been spiked from its home. The monkey doesn't want to leave, but the monkey's well now. But I think, Vaughn, the question you were looking for was... Was he... Was he on pee?

Yeah. Was his judgment clouded by substance? Yeah. That's a difficult thing in New Zealand Today. It's a bit serious here, but like every New Zealand Today story that I think is a laugh normally goes back to is the person like deeply mentally ill or are they on pee

or is it a combination of the two? And he was definitely at least incredibly drunk, if not under the influence of more. But he claims he's been three years sober. He claims jail has been quite good for him, straightening his life out. So that's kind of positive.

No more monkey stealing for him. Wow. Is the girlfriend still on the scene? Well, that's the quest. That's why we're doing this segment, to try and reunite him with his girlfriend. I don't know if that's a good idea or a bad idea. Do you get a monkey to give to her if you find her?

We're not stealing another monkey. It's only gone to the situation of the first place. It'll be a cycle. Then I'll do a show and I'll try to find you to talk to you about the monkey yeah yeah yeah but that's the exciting thing

is going on a mission to try and win her back for a bit or worth because they say they're in love it's a true New Zealand it's a New Zealand love story

wow from the Hutt Valley yeah you gotta love it the Hutt of course where else in Wellington would it be yeah

wow we actually ended up in Wellington a lot on this trip. We also went to Mermaids, the strip club. Oh, it's incredible. They don't have a fish tank anymore. They have a swimming tank. The girls kept getting sick.

Yeah. They did. The girls kept getting sick in the thing. Why didn't they get some of those little snails that crawl on the glass and eat all the algae? Yeah, could do. I feel like that's not that erotic if there's a woman swimming naked in a tank Why don't they get some of those little snails that crawl on the glass and eat all the algae? Yeah, could do. I feel like that's not that erotic if there's a woman swimming naked in a tank with a bunch of snails on her to clean the algae. And oxygen weed in a little bubble that oxygenates the water.

And she can't get to the surface because of all the oxygen weed and drowns. She gets tangled in it. Osh would have a field day. You can see why they got rid of the tank. This is why Vaughan isn't working at more strip clubs, eh? Guys, we've got the perfect solution to the algae problem. Mini pool snails, obviously. Sea snails.

You could rebrand it from mermaids to snails. Well, the second season of New Zealand Today premieres tonight on three at nine o'clock. Guy Williams, thank you so much for coming in. Looking forward to this first step and the season. Thanks so much for having me. Cheers. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about serotonin. What do you guys know about serotonin? Not sera. Tonin. Serotonin. Serotonin. Good.

You need it, don't you, to feel good? The joy chemical. Yes. Or happy hormone. Yeah, mood regulator. If you've got a constant feed of serotonin, you are good. But if it goes up and down. You always experience happiness and sadness.

Yeah, a couple of people in the office on Monday or Tuesday that look like they lack some of it. Tuesday blues, yes. Yeah. Well, that is actually true. The MDMA can cause sort of like a milking of the serotonin gland, so you feel extremely happy. But then, of course, what goes up must come down.

Yeah. And because you've milked the gland, it takes a while to replenish itself, and that's the origins of the old phrase, the Tuesday blues. Right. But serotonin, today's fact of the day, serotonin is also a major component in many animal venoms. Ooh. And it is actually, when you get stung by scorpions,

stingrays, snakes, hornets, serotonin is the thing that causes the pain. What? Yes. Wouldn't that feel amazing? Inject serotonin into your skin and it causes pain. So serotonin,

other things it does in our body, works in the gastrointestinal system and it's like the muscle constriction that you don't even know what's happening, but it's in your stomach and it's pushing everything through. Yeah. So like get to the stomach and then it goes, does it go to the stomach, then intestines? I've got no idea.

It goes small intestine, large intestine, colon, bum hole, toilet. So that's how it works. And the muscles are pushing it through the whole time. So serotonin controls that as well. Right. So it's actually when you get And the muscles are pushing it through the whole time. So serotonin controls that as well. Right. So it's actually when you get stung, it's doing that, but in a muscle that has its own way of functioning. Oh, I see.

So it causes the muscle to freak out. Right. And that's what causes the pain and the nerve endings when you get stung by it. I did not know. So it makes you happy. It pushes the poop through. And animals use it in their stings. It's part of animal stings.

Yeah, right. To make a salt cheese. That's in the sting. A lot more complicated than I ever imagined. So today's fact of the day is the same thing that makes you happy can make you really, really sad. Serotonin. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Act of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I made a beautiful gravy yesterday and I was very proud of it. I made a roast chalk and with the pan juice. You've got to use the pan juice. The pan juice. Some animals tip it down the sink. Yeah, people that don't use the pan juice to make gravy are... Here's why that's a bad idea.

It's a delicious, juicy flavour vest of fatness. An hour and a half of just draping into that pan. Here's the other reason it's a bad idea. You're just pouring fat down the sink and you're going to cause a fat burn. Yeah, it's really terrible. It's better to put it in you and make you fat. Do your part. No, you do it and then you poop it out and then it gets flushed and that's fine.

Sure. Disguise it. I was bragging about my homemade gravy that was just simply jus and butter and a bit of flour. And it was unctuous. And then as I was describing this, producer Jared chimed in and I said, I made a gravy from scratch. And he said, do you use a packet of Maggie?

And I immediately dropped him. Like I just pinged at him. I was like, she was describing a delicious gravy and you just said packet. And I just, boom. But you didn't even say Maggi. Now, right. There's two things wrong here.

There's two things wrong. One is the suggestion of using a Maggi packet. I was trying to be facetious. But you, you use it. Yeah, of course. Why do you call it Maggie? Nobody calls it Maggie. It's how it's spelled.

M-A-G-G-I. Maggie. No, M-A-G-G-I-E is Maggie. It's the same thing. M-A-G-G-I is Maggie. Right. Have you always called it Maggie? Yeah.

Do you buy like Maggie Shepard's Pie Mixers? Yep. Yep. Maggie Nacho Mix. Maggie Devils Sauce. What is a Maggie? It's the brand., nacho mix. What is a Maggi? It's the brand. The brand.

I don't know. Maggi. No, isn't it like a religious, in some religion, isn't it like a name for a priest? It's a girl's name. The tale of the Maggi or something? It's a girl's name of Greek derivation. Oh, you're thinking of Magi, which is a type of wizard.

Maybe I am. Maggi. No, this is Maggie. International brand of seasonings and instant soups. Right. I just went for 1G. Right, okay. Now he's got me doubting.

Right, okay. If it's Maggie. Is it a South African thing, do you think? Could be, but yeah, I don't know. As an immigrant, I just read the packet at like five years old, and I was like, this is Maggie. Look, as an immigrant. You've really stopped our arguments here.

Hey, hey, hey, no, welcome, welcome, welcome. But say it right. So its place of origin, Maggie, is Switzerland. Does that help us? It's named after the founder, Julius Maggi. Now, he's a Swiss entrepreneur, inventor of pre-cooked soups and sauces. Does it have a phonetic equivalent? How is Maggi pronounced?

Yeah, the magic of Maggi. Ma-gi. Maggi. Ma-gi. Maggi. Maggi. I'm sticking with Maggi. Maggi with a J.

Maggi. Well, it's Swiss or Swedish, that area. It's not Swedish, but I'm just saying in that area. Swedish chef in the Muppets would say Maggi. Okay. He would like bounce it around a bit, I think, more than just saying Maggie. Bye.

Well, yeah, I think we'll just leave it there. Just say it right. Don't. Just say it right. Unless it's an absolute emergency, use it. Yeah. Yeah, in emergencies, if you've really cocked up the gravy, you might be able to slash a bit of the old rich brown in there.

Don't get me wrong, because some people might be thinking I'm anti-MSG at this stage, and I'm a huge fan of MSG. Huge fan. Yeah, monosodium glycocosamine or something. And then you can take it outside and sprinkle it on the prickles on your lawn, and it will kill that too. It's great stuff. It's great stuff.

It's good stuff. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Some text messages. Re, the pronunciation of the packet of gravy invented by Julius Maggi. Maggi. South Africans have messaged in saying, in South Africa, we say Maggie.

Oh, that'll be why then. Another one. I'm a fellow South African, we say Maggie. I've always said it Maggie. Yeah. Double G is a hard sound. Maggie would be one G. Well, that's not your surname. I don't think you can say that. It's a name.

It follows no rules. Yeah. That's why you can't use it in Scrabble. And he's right, you're wrong. Ask anybody in Germany. Oh. Hmm. Germans wouldn't use it.

What about Texan support of our stance? Pretty quiet, man. I think it was when all three of us ganged up on the immigrant. That he ushered in the support, that real New Zealand support the underdog thing. Okay. I'm actually really proud of New Zealand for getting behind him. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Wow, the Masked singer in America is huge. And we're getting our own version here. We're getting our own one. It's so exciting. The masks are going to be from Look Sharp. Oh, my God. It is going to be bougie, isn't it? I imagine our budget is slightly smaller.

It's going to be like, and next, wearing his mask, the Italian plumber. You know, look sharp always the name to get it around. Oopsie-daisy. That's not Mario. That's the Italian plumber. Because the American one has incredible, like, effects. Like, you know, the transitions when they come on stage. It's insane.

I reckon we'll just have a smoke machine. And America has celebrities. Yeah, true. New Zealand, we're not so celebrity focused, but I think it's going to be great. But anyway, so there was on a recent episode of The Masked Singer, there was a certain performance, and I bet you can guess who it is immediately.

Wake up in the morning feeling like Peter. This is a skint. You're going to hit the city. Before I leave, I wish I could. Well, it's certainly not Kasia. No. Because when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back. Oh, pitchy. I'm talking pedicures on the floor.

That's how a 71-year-old would sing this song. And this person is indeed 71 years old. That's Caitlyn Jenner, 71. Yes. That's Caitlyn Jenner, by the way. Yeah. It's the strength voice. Gonna get a little bit tipsy.

Oh, my God. Yes, it's so... Oh, it's so embarrassing. It's so hard to watch. You have to watch through your fingers. She started the song. She is the phoenix, I believe, voted off immediately. They figured it out very quickly.

Is that the idea with a masked singer? The judges also aren't allowed to work out who you are. I really don't understand it. And then they do a masked reveal and everyone was like, yeah, it's Caitlyn Jenner. But when she started her performance, the judges, you could see in their face that they were just like, yeah, it's Caitlyn Jenner. But when she started her performance, the judges, you could see in their face that they were just like,

what is happening? And then Kesha has posted a video on her social media watching it, and she was like, I'm living for this. I'm living for this performance. I'm living for this dress. But honestly, and she's like covering her face. It's not even the quality of the voice. It's the, when I leave,

I brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack. It's all the timing. The timing and the certainty. It's like when you think you know a song when you go to karaoke. Yeah. And you start it and you're like,

nope, no, no. I know the chorus. Next line. Next line. Zedium's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, I know the chorus. Next line.