ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th December 2020

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

Top 6: Women on the Moon  Vaughan & Producer Jared's new hobby  Drama in Taranaki!  Vaughan Smith: Super Shopper!  When did you have an Adult Sulk?  Sellers' Movie Book  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's brought to you by McCafe, by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. I've just received an email massage that my gin is ready to pick up. Oh, yes. I've ordered a Lamington flavoured gin. Oosh. Yeah, I saw-

Chocolate or Radsbury Lamington? Do you know I was absolutely baited by the people that do the ZM post, because they posted about this and I was like, oh my God, I simply must have that. You were influenced. I was influenced by my own workplace. Wow. Very rude.

So it's gin and coconut flavoured? I'm sorry, raspberry and coconut flavoured gin. So I'm interested to see how that's going to be. Oh, yuck, I reckon. Oh, it sounds delicious. No, it'll be yum. One or the other, not both. But then what do you put with that tonic?

Because that would just smudge all over the flavour. Ice cream. A gin ice cream. A gin affogato. I'll let you know how it goes. Could totally be a gin affogato. What's an affogato? It's where they pour...

Espresso over ice cream. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yum. Whiskey ones and stuff as well. Okay, right. I could get a face massage. I just gave my face a good rub and it provided me with

Do you ever do that? Mountie's now telling me they would have sent that to me for free. For fuck's sake. I'll have one Mountie. For next year. I'm happy to support the local business. Is it a local business? I don't know. I'm assuming so. I'm assuming so. I'm assuming so.

I reckon it's Australian. Back to your face rub. I wear makeup. I never had the luxury of a face rub. Oh, my God. How good is a hot flannel face rub, head rub? What about those little tongy things, the little head scratcher things? Yes, the Orgasmatron was what they were called.

the orgasmatron. They're amazing, aren't they? They don't work as well when you do it yourself. Nah, someone else has to do it. Yeah. Could you,

unless you, could you put it on a stick? Cause then it would feel like someone else is doing it. Uh, no. What do you mean? Like attach the, uh,

orgasmatron head scratcher to a stick or a tree. And then you just put your own head in it. And then you go up and down underneath it. Like imagine you're sitting on the couch but you've like kind of, you get like a microphone stand. Yeah. If you ever set that up, just do us a favour and do a wee video. Oh, absolutely not.

Absolutely not. Never works as well when you do it yourself. It's always better controlled by, piloted by somebody else. Okay. They still sell those Gotta bloody love one of those Tell your secret Santa Yeah tell your secret Santa

I forgot about secret Santa I don't know what to get mine It's $20 it's a silly amount You can get One of those for $10 And then still get a chocolate bar or something No give it $10 and say it cost you $20. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm not stupid, Megan. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. And she's back after, do you know your diagnosis yesterday? What did you say it was? I had the shits. Explosive diarrhea. Yeah,its. Explosive diarrhea. Yeah, classic.

Explosive. Classic. Well, that's the rule if you're not here. No diarrhea, but thank you. That's the, yeah, that's the rule. Now, Megan's just told us she had another Harry Styles dream last night. He's back. It's been a while.

It's been like two months or something. And you meet his parents in your dream. He took me around to his house. He lived in like a farm. And his parents were like, you better like get on this because if you don't hurry up, someone else will.

I was like, oh, girlfriend, I know. What his parents were giving you a talk about moving along. Hurry it up. And then... Like get married or something. Well, like, I don't know. Lock it in.

Lock it in. Lock it in. And then he asked me if he could buy me a bracelet. And I was like, Harry, you don't need to buy me a bracelet. But yes. Just give me some loving. These dreams are constant and disturbing. And they're progressing slowly. Yeah, yeah.

Weird. Wow. What were his parents like? Really nice. Right. His brother gave me a peck talk as well, but he doesn't have a brother in real life. Does he?

Does he have a sister? Yeah. Does he? Yeah. What does she look like? I just Googled his parents. Anne Twist and Desmond Stiles. Okay.

Anne's very, she's good looking that's where he's getting his looks from yeah his sister's quite good looking Desmond, the dad yeah, just looks like a British old mate yeah right, okay so they were

very lovely and yeah so can soon you wake up and you've got a husband and a baby on the way and your dog's like l you wake up and you've got a husband and a baby on the way? And your dog's like licking your face and you're like, thought it was Harry and then it's not. It's your little dog. It's always weird when I listen to his songs right after a dream because you're like, ha. It's a feeling.

You get a feeling. Yeah. The top six is coming up. Yeah. Jeff Bezos, world's richest man? Well, I don't know. He's certainly a very wealthy individual. He recently went through a divorce, but I know Amazon doubled down on how much money they were doing during lockdown

because they were delivering everything to everybody. For the third year in a row, he gave $36 billion to his wife as part of their divorce. He's worth $113 billion. Right. That's too $113 billion. Right. That's too much money for him. But I think him and Elon have been doing a dance,

haven't they? Or they're close. Elon's gone to number two, hasn't he? He's skipped up the line. Right, since COVID. Right. Well, Jeff Bezos wants

to put a woman on the moon. Fantastic. So I've got the top six things women will do on the moon. Okay. It's a tongue-in-cheek top six things women will do on the moon. Okay. It's a tongue-in-cheek top six. Of course. Before you cancel, warn, or complain.

Yeah. Because I've got to read a bit more, but it was kind of weird to be like, I could put a woman on the moon, like it's an impossible task. Yeah. You know what? What Elon Musk has done,

he hasn't put a woman on the moon. I believe I've got the technology to put the woman on the moon. A space bra. I will invent it now. Next on the show. A nine-year-old has done their dad a solid, but the law don't say it that way. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. A nine-year-old did Dad a favour. I'm thinking Indy will be nine in February. So I'm just thinking. Oh, okay. So that's a good comparison. That's a good comparison. Right.

And I have let her drive down the driveway. Okay. Can she see over the? Well, in the Land Rover, she can. And you pull the choke out a little bit because it's old. You can manually pull the choke out and then it'll idle a bit higher and she doesn't have to be able to reach the pedal she just has to be able to see and she has to be able to jump back

across and knock it into neutral before she crashes into a fence. Sounds safe. But big difference between that and a nine year old driving their dad to the booze store to get more booze because dad's had too much to drink

to drive. Now, that would be more responsible than driving yourself? Well, you shouldn't drink, drive, full stop. No. I don't think either is safe. Yeah, I don't think either is safe. No, okay, yeah, that's true. Very dangerous.

Well, this is great PR for crate day, which every year has a couple of oopsie daysies attached. That'll happen when you sit down to drink 12 lots of 750 mils of booze. So this father apparently, yeah, was participating in crate day, but must have finished his crate. Oh, dear. Now, that's when I would either spew, piss myself or both and take myself off to bed and wake up the morrow.

Whenever you can't because it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Well, this was 7.30 at night when this incident transpired. It was a paddy wagon that saw a nine-year-old behind the wheel, obviously spun around. And I don't know if the child indicated to pull off the road. Maybe there's another infringement there. Yeah. Not correctly indicating.

And then when pulled over, they found out that this child was indeed nine. Right. But, yeah, I mean, you can't lose your licence if you don't have one to lose. That's a good call. Yeah, what is the punishment for that? He could go to, like, what, juvenile court or something? I don't know. Or will the dad be?

But what can the dad be charged with? The dad will be the one that gets charged. Can the dad lose the licence even though he wasn't driving? Yeah, because technically he wasn't driving. No, but somebody, the paddy wagon said at one stage they saw his hand on the wheel, which indicates he had control, which is all you'd need to be tied into that, right? So, wow, that is loose. Yep.

Yep. I mean, my kids can't even rinse the dishes after dinner, let alone drive me to the booze store. If I want some more booze. Well, this is an advanced kid. Is that what you're saying? Well, maybe. Depends how his driving was.

Oh, and how's my driving? I'm nine years old and my dad's on the bus. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A Michigan family have got a Christmas present after three years. Something they lost. They went for a trip to suburban Chicago to visit some friends

and their dog ran out of a fence yard at the friend's house. So this is when they were holidaying? Yeah. Okay, right. From Michigan. They were in Chicago and the dog got out and they didn't see it again. So the dog was specially trained to help the owner in case of a seizure. So like a support dog.

Black Lab, and her name was Lola, she went missing for three years. Despite the fact that they hired volunteers and a professional pet searcher. A professional, like a private eye, but for pets. I wonder if they have those here. How do you track a pet down? Are you sure? A pet detective? Posting on Facebook.

Of course. Of course. The most famous of all time. Of all pet detectives. Yeah. So she was missing for three years and they kind of gave up hope, but in the back of their mind they're like, maybe one day, because, I mean mean they never found

her body or anything. Well this is like Dice and Weed you know those two dogs in New Zealand that are missing and their owners won't give up hope. Yeah. Because last time I was in the South Island there's still billboards up. There's posters out by my place in West Auckland. Yeah. There's posters everywhere

for those two missing. Well this could give them hope because apparently Lola, a couple in Glendale Heights, I don't know where that is, it must be in Chicago, noticed Lola for the past few years going into a forest area. So

they'd leave out food for her and earned her trust and then when they finally got the microchip checked, they found that it was Lola. So she was living in the forest with a bit of food from this couple, and they really don't know how she survived. Wow. And it's now, after three years, it's back with the owners.

It's back with the owner. Did they move on and get a new one? No, I don't think so. Wow, they never got a new one. They didn't even get rid of her stuff because they had her little blankie, and Lola wagged her tail when she smelled her old blankie. Right. There are pet detectives in New Zealand.

Get out. Yes, there is. Does it describe? What do they do? Do they track pets down? Well, there's petdetective.co.nz. Yeah. And it's a lost and found service for people looking for their pets. Oh, okay.

Oh, and they've trademarked it as well. The pet detective, the term, is a protected trademark and may not be used by any other individual in New Zealand. What about Ace Ventura? Pet detective, I think that's in the American jurisdiction. Right, okay. And there's a Herald News article here saying, meet New Zealand's very first pet detective.

And this is July 2017. Into like breakdown of services. What does Erin do? She lost an 11-year-old. Human. Baby Marlo went missing. Fur baby. Not a human.

God, no. Weird that she would get into pet Detective if she lost a human. Yeah, no, that's Marlo there. It's a fluffy little yappy dog. And I think that's led to that. So I don't know if she still does that. But yeah, it's in New Zealand. But she lost Marlo.

Did she find Marlo? And then she's like, I'm pretty good at finding animals. I don't have time to read the story, Megan. It's very hard when you ask me questions. I can't read the news story while we're on air. But is she that pet detective from the website, do you feel? Like, if she trademarked it, she can't be saying, I'm the first pet detective.

Somebody would have already trademarked it. I reckon it's her. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Well, that's a cold case. Marlowe is a cold case now, so. Oh, God. Yeah, it doesn't have a website there., but yeah, I mean, there are people

that will look for your pets in New Zealand. Track them down. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the illegal ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there, welcome

to today's top six. Jeff Bezos has said his Origin Blue rocket will be the rocket to take woman to the moon. And it was because, I believe the reason he said this is because people are competing for the NASA contract. So there's three companies competing at the moment. SpaceX, this one, Blue Origin, and somebody else. Okay. Who will probably end up winning because they haven't made a big song and a dance about it. But this was an attempt of inclusion.

Right. To be like, this will take woman to the moon. He's trying to say, well, if this is a government project, there's no reason a woman couldn't be on this rocket. To be like, this will take woman to the moon. He's trying to say, well, if this is a government project, there's no reason a woman couldn't be on this rocket. But then people are like, well, there's no reason woman couldn't be on any rocket. It's not like you have to plug your penis in to make it work. This is true.

Do you know? Yeah. And everyone's like, I kind of can appreciate what you're doing here, Jeff, but I think you've missed the mark a little bit with exactly how you went about it. And he's like, oh, well, you've got to try these things. And I did want to say this Blue Origin rocket, very penis-y looking. Oh, yeah. I've seen, yeah, they do have penis-y looking rockets. That one's particularly penis-y looking, though. Yeah.

Because there's been comment... There's been comment of those rockets before, hasn't there? These specific rockets. Yeah, because I mean your average rocket's quite phallic looking, but this is particularly phallic looking.

It's no accident. Let's put it that way. So I've got the top six other things women would do on the moon. Okay. If we were only allowed. If you were allowed to get on the rocket. Yeah. But don't worry, Jeff's building a rocket that you can go right on there.

Thank goodness. Champ. Sweetheart. Jeff is going to make us some suits that will fit our hips. In fairness, I listened to a podcast about space suit design, which Jeff hasn't touched on, and they totally are male. They're made for males, 100% made for males. And then the female ones were just smaller males ones.

Oh, right. That doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Not as much. Not for comfort wise. So the top six things a woman will do on the moon. Number six, tell you to get off your phone.

Or on the moon. Put it down. Look at the view. Yeah. Something like that. Even though they've just put down their phone. Yeah. And that works both ways.

Number five on the list of the top six things a woman would do on the moon. Change spacesuits four times before deciding on what one to wear for the moonwalk. This one. Okay. Yeah, it looks great. No, you took too long to react. I'm going to go and try something else on. Okay.

Number four on the list of the top six things a woman would do on the moon. Probably have a period. Which is something NASA have struggled with before. Sally. Oh, my God. Sally the astronaut. What was her last name? Sally.

I want to say Field, but that's the actress. Sally Ride. Right. When she was going into space for a week, they gave her 100 tampons. Literally made me snort. They didn't even know if it was a week they were just like just in case and she's like oh and they're like have we given you too many and she's like yeah no they said is this the right number and she said no and so one guy looked

at another guy this is nasa urban lyn. It was like, she needs more. And they had them all tied together. Remember double happies? How they were all linked together because they didn't want any tampons floating around in the lay. Oh, okay. It's like a tampon lay. Yeah, so that's how they had it rather than stacked in a pack. They had it tied so if she wanted one, she'd have to fiddly untie it and then... Oh, my God.

Yeah, neat. The top six things a woman would do on the moon. Number three, run into someone they hate. Oh, my God, what's she doing here? Fuff. Oh, hi. Oh, my God, I haven't seen you for so long. Is she wearing the same fucking space suit as me?

Fuff. I told you I shouldn't have worn this one. Number two on the list of the top six things women would do on the moon thanks to the blue origin rocket that Jeff Bezos has given permission for women to be on. Tell you to clean up your side of the bathroom

when their side is an insane mess of makeup, hair care and miscellaneous products. I just thought of the bathroom as a mess. I got this the other day. I just thought of the bathroom as a mess. I got this the other day. I just thought of the bathroom as a mess. I had like a deodorant can. Yeah. And some beard oil and some perfume on there.

Yeah. And I looked at hers. Hers has got that brown streak when you like spill a bit of makeup. It looks like someone's taking a shit in the sink. Yeah. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't get this. But it's so, and the towels just have a shit streak. You're like, oh. wouldn't get this, but it's so... And the towels would just have a shit streak down it.

And you're like... She's like, that's makeup. You're like, oh my God. I thought I'd wipe, got out of the shower and not wash properly. And number one on the list of the top six things a woman would do on the moon. Just as you're about to take off to come back to Earth. They're like, oh, slow down. Oh, jeez. It's just something my wife does every time we drive anywhere.

Don't get off your phone. That's today's top six. Well, The Queen's Gambit is a Netflix show. One season. I can't see it having a sequel. It's been very popular though. So you know how sometimes things are made for one season and then they're like, that was popular.

We should do another one. And then the second season's like, why'd you bother? How'd you do this? What'd you do the weird story tag on for? So maybe, but maybe not. But it came from nowhere. It's a fictional story too. Right.

If you watch it, you might think that it's real. It's about a young orphan and her rise from like the orphanage to like being really good at chess and apparently it's so chess, the app that Jared and I have been playing on which is just called chess

it's had something like a 5000% increase in downloads. Really? The Google search the rules of chess or how do I play chess has gone through the roof.

Chess sets have become one of the most popular selling like board game for Christmas. For Christmas. Yeah, wow. It's just completely changed it.

Because you know chess had always been played but it was pretty quiet. Yeah. It hadn't had any like huge pop culture moments for a little while. Yeah, you know, chess had always been played but it was pretty quiet. Yeah. It hadn't had any like huge pop culture moments for a little while.

Yeah, not very sexy. No, no. But it is quite a sexy game. It's like a bit of a dance. There's a lot of planning involved. I wouldn't call that sexy. It's sexier than Monopoly. It takes too long

because you do a move and then someone else sits there thinking for ages. They do a move and then someone else sits there thinking for ages. They do a move. You don't think it's sexy to be a landlord with lots of properties

and charge people lots of rent and bankrupt them. If you get off on that, you should meet this little country called New Zealand. It's a real

love-hate relationship. So we've been playing chess and this is producer Jared and yourself. Producer Jared and I on this app. And, well, I got absolutely smug. Is it just the two of you playing each other? Yeah.

How many? What's the score? Who's winning? We've played one game through to the end, eh? Yeah, just one. So it's 1-0. And you lost. Yeah, I lost.

I didn't even really ever feel like I was in the game. Because I forgot which bits do what. I like the little bits. They only go 1A. Yeah, it can be tricky. I forgot. It's hard to learn. That was cute.

It can be tricky, Bourne. I forgot that you can't, like, you know the horse guy that can move an owl? The knight? Yep. He can only move an owl if nothing's in the way. Well, of course. So you can't jump over it. A diagonal guy can't go through someone,

an end on an empty square if he has to go through it, occupied square. Well, I thought that would have made complete sense. No, I forgot that. No, because some of them can jump over it, right? No, that's checkers. None can jump over it. I don't think so.

And then apparently if you get a pawn to the other side of the board, what happens to it? It becomes another queen. You can promote it to any kind of like a knight, a rook. You can make it. Oh, I knew that. You can get back one of your other guys. Right.

I thought that was checkers. I thought you got to the other side and they had to double stack you. Yeah, that's checkers too. I didn't. It's an exhilarating game. I'm sure of that. Hon, maybe you should just go to Checkers. It just sounds like you're more of a Checkers kind of gal.

And you know what makes Checkers more fun? What? Putting it vertically. It's called Connect 4, and I love a game of Connect 4. Connect 4 is great. Connect 4 is a great game. Sometimes you just don't even see it coming, eh? You're too occupied with one side and then someone's

You leave your flank open Now we're talking about it, maybe Netflix need to make a sexy series about the Connect 4 champion They're an orphan and they become really good at Connect 4 Yes So basically the same as the show

and then she ends up playing the Russian Connect 4 champion in the height of the show. And then she ends up playing the Russian Connect 4 champion in the height of the Cold War. Brilliant. I mean, I could write these for you. This is your sequel. I mean, you should be working for Netflix with these kind of ideas. Follow it up maybe with a Guess Who orphan.

Oh, yes. I'm just going to have a whole series of board game orphan champions. The Guess Who orphans just got a phenomenal ability to spot small differences between the players. It all set them apart. This is good stuff. Your person got a mustache? Boom.

Down they go. Riveting. It'll be a riveting show. First question in Guess Who is always like, is your person a female, right? Yeah. Because it was so sexist. Because there's only got like four females on the board.

No, even the later game. But it's a good 50-50 split. You put it down half your right? Yeah. Because it was so sexist in his home. Because he's only got like four females in the board. No, even the later game, but it's a good 50-50 split. You put it down half your board. Yeah. And then that's what you're going to be going for. You've got to be going

for a 50-50 every time, I reckon. Yeah. Or if you're a real, like, champ and you can read the other person, you'd be like,

look at them for a while and you'd be like, go, does your person have hoop earrings on? Which only one person on the board does. And if they say yes, broom. The phone is trying to guess when you play Guess Who.

Bitch. Flesh Warner Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, there's some Taranaki locals that are worried that a popular photo spot could end up with somebody dying. Oh, God. Now, I'm going to show you a photo here, Megan. That's a cool photo. It's great.

I know you'd want that photo on your gram, wouldn't you? Oh, you mean in the middle of the road? Yeah. Great picture of Mount Taranaki. Yeah. So people basically stop on this road on the crest of the hill. It's a double yellow line, so that means you can't overtake because you can't see what's coming.

So it's quite a dangerous spot. And people stand or sit on the middle of the yellow line on the top of the hill looking at the mountain and someone behind them takes a photo. Or I guess they could jump up or do whatever. Yeah. And locals are like, okay, this has got to stop because someone is probably going to die soon.

Well, they're just crouching in the middle of the road. Yeah, basically, yeah. Yeah, so is there any photos of what the part of the road looks like zoomed out a bit more? There you go. Okay, so it's the crest of a hill, so the person getting the photo taken might be able to see both ways. But, I mean, double's like a spot of lines.

If they, if they went a little bit forward and they were sitting down, you might not see them until too late. No, the car's not going to be able to see them. No. But I mean, coming from this direction where that photo's taken,

maybe, but we don't know what's on the other side of that. Yeah. And you did right. If you were wearing dark clothing, you'd probably just meld in with the background, wouldn't you? Yeah.

So it's a 100K area too. 100K road. Yeah. And yeah, it's featured on sites like TripAdvisor. It's a popular Instagram hashtag and photo. Is it just not the same if you step off the road? Like if you do it on the side of the road? No, because it doesn't look as arty, does it?

Because you've got the line. You've got the mountain. Oh sorry. Yeah. And the road looks to be carved through a hill so you've got a little bit of a hill each side of the road there. I mean it's a good photo. Is it marked on Google

Maps? I was amazed in Queenstown when it was we went to look at a Lord of the Rings place out by Glen Orkey and it was marked on Google Maps as like great place for like Lord of the Rings place out by Glen Orkey and it was marked on Google Maps as like, great place for like, Lord of the Rings photo spot. Oh, it might be. And so I wonder if you, because you can mark things on Google Maps.

I just, I'm looking at it now. I mean, we probably don't need to be telling people where it is. We'll just encourage more people to go out there. Well, apparently you can find it pretty easily. Oh, okay. No, I can't see like a, because you see the little photo symbol on the Google Maps. It's not on Google Maps.

Is it the north side of? It's just before Egmont Village, one of the roads that comes off there. Right. But yeah. You'll be getting one this summer then when you hit. I've got plenty of photos on the mountain, mate. It's all good.

What about this? Well, you don't have that angle, do you? I don't have that angle, though. No, you're right. Great news is that when you're down there, there's a tropical cyclone. Yeah, I know. Did you guys hear about this? It down there there's a tropical cyclone. Yeah, I know. Did you guys hear about this?

It's meant to be a tropical cyclone hitting just before Christmas or Christmas. So they reckon they can predict it's path to about the 20th and that's when it's

north of New Zealand but like northwest. So between us and Australia. And they say it'll either keep going and go on to someone's getting a wet Christmas,

whether or not it's us or the Goldie. What if I get a remote-controlled car from mum and dad this Christmas? You'll have to drive that inside. Mum will allow it. Just don't bang into the scooting board. You'll be asleep by lunchtime from too much food. Don't worry about it. Oh, yeah, you've got to have a Christmas afternoon nap.

Yeah. 100%. Especially if it's raining. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A grandmother has asked a question on the internet and it's actually quite divided. She was asking for payment for babysitting her granddaughter.

Oh, no. This would be like your mum, Ray Ray, when you have your baby asking for money. I'm imagining she'd want to do it for free. That's what I was thinking most would, wouldn't they? As long as it didn't inconvenience them and it suited them. I never even thought, yeah, if you're like, hey, would you be able to look after the kids?

And they're like, oh, we've got something on. You'd be like, okay, that's cool. But if they don't, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're bloody well obligated. We used to get palmed off to our grandparents every school holidays. One child would go to Nana and Papa's, one child would go to Nana and Gangie's, and one child would get to stay home, and then it would rotate. So there'd be no fighting.

Where was the best place to go? Grandparents, either or. Yeah. I liked both of the grandparents because mum's parents, they had a big farm And they let you pretty much Do whatever you want Like ride motorbikes Chainsaws

Yep And then my other grandparents My dad's Was pretty much the same You got to do all the cool stuff On the farm And there was just like Always baking

And Nana didn't care How much you ate Yeah She'd never tell you You've had enough Never put the lid on the biscuits And put them away Just sit them out.

Because she knew we'd struggle to get into one of her tins, which was an old sampler tin. And she'd be like, don't tell your papa, but I haven't put the lid on that hard so you guys can just get into that when you need to. And you'd be like, big mistake, Rita. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. But yeah, I just thought it went, my parents love having the kids.

Yeah. Well, she said, do you expect the same level of care from a professional child carer? So like- No, a higher level. You're their grandparent. Yeah, these kids must be awful

if she's asking. Actually, that's true. The kids must be right shits. It's every day too. Oh, okay. No, so that's not on. From 7.30am to 3pm. Oh.

See, no, you can't have them in daycare. If it's every day and you know that. That's a daycare situation. Yeah, that's a day. Oh, I thought you meant like once a month or something for maybe a weekend or. So you could get away with paying them like a little bit less, right? But you'd still pay them to at least cover like... Yeah, you would. It's fair.

Yeah, yeah. In my situation, I just wouldn't want to do it because wouldn't it take away some of the specialness of your grandparents if they were around all the time, if they had to tell you off? Yeah. And then they could start seeing it as a chore. Yeah. To have them around rather than a treat.

Yeah. And then their baking will just repeat. They won't change it up enough. They. To have them around rather than a treat. Yeah. And then their baking will just repeat. They won't change it up enough. They won't have time to do baking. Or the kid is just going to be so huge. So people were what? Split on this? People were divided.

They were saying, look, you're not a daycare. So yeah, you should expect some sort of payment. How old is Nan? Grandma, does it say anywhere her age? Her daughter is 29. So she wouldn't be that old. She could be anywhere from like 49 to, you know, 60s, 50s. 60, yeah. Yeah, no, it doesn't say how old she is.

So she's still young. Yeah. Too young to be full-time looking after this shitbag of a kid. Her grandchild. Yeah. Too old to be doing it full-time. Yeah. Too young to be full-time looking after this shitbag of a kid. Grandchild. Yeah. Too old to be doing it full-time. Yeah. But too young to be both.

Just hampered by it. Get daycare. Yeah. But maybe they can't afford it. But where's the mom at work? Yeah. What country is this in? Oh, unsure, actually.

Because of the United States, isn't it? She wants $17 an hour, which is less than minimum wage for us. For us it is, but there's no minimum wage in a lot of the states if it's there. Yeah, right. Maybe she could just do tips. How is it you get tipped in things like Play-Doh balls, leftover sandwich crusts. Consumer NZ, the podcast, ZM.

Consumer NZ, the good people at Consumer NZ that'll tell you when your oil fin heaters are likely to burn down your house, have done their annual start of summer what sunscreens are full of shit test, which is what they should call it. They should. These guys are full of shit. So they've done their test on sunscreens on the market.

Great news for five sunscreens of the ones that they tested that meet their claims of SPF and broad spectrum protection. Those are, it's weird because I couldn't tell you what the sunscreen I've got at home is called But I see a bottle of it and I'm like yes That one Because you just become used to using it right So there's a blue one with a daffodil on it

That's the New Zealand Cancer Society The Everyday SPF 50 Is thumbs up It is SPF 50 And it also does what it says it does On the broad spectrum protection. Okay. Cetaphil,

the Sun Kids liposomal lotion, Mecca Cosmetica. Oh, good. To save face, Super Screen meets its requirements.

Skinny, the Skinny Conquer with Manuka Oil and the Nivea Sun Protect SPF 50. Oh, that's my use. Yeah.

I think you've got the blue one. The blue one, like me. Yep. I've got the white one on here. I've got a white one for my face. That's because it's for sensitive skin. Okay. I might get that one because I've got sensitive skin.

Those are the good guys. I do. What do you mean? You're a leathery old turtle. I do have sensitive skin. You're a purse. You're an oldy old turtle. I do have sensitive skin. You're a purse. You're an old alligator purse. You don't use sensitive anything.

I do use sensitive deodorant and soaps and stuff. I do. You're snake boots. This isn't a roasting of my skin quality. No, you do have good skin. Thank you. Probably due to the lack of work. I'm not going to deny that.

I mean, we're not sitting out on a hearse. Soft, supple hands from lack of doing any work. Now, you do the same work as me. Even I'm allowed soft, supple hands. Well, you've got soft, supple hands. I don't. No, he doesn't. The callous working hands of a person.

Pretend farmer. Pretend farmer. A part-timeend farmer. Part-time farmer. A part-time farmer. A part-time farmer. A part-time paddock tinkerer. Right. So there's five that have failed to meet their claims of being SPF 50. Right.

Now, sadly, the La Tanne coconut doesn't meet its. Okay. We've got one of these ones. It smells like coconut. That's why I like it. It smells good. It's yum. Now, got one of these ones. It smells like coconut. That's why I like it. It's yum. Now, again, repeat offender.

Worth a mention. Banana Boat, who I can't believe is still a sunscreen because every year it comes out that Banana Boat don't measure up to what they say they are. Yeah. Every year.

And then every year they're just like, oh, we'll fix it next year. Banana Boat. Sukin's Sun Care Sheer Touch Facial Sunscreen Untinted. Is that a natural one? I think that's a natural one. I don't know. It says that UVA, UVB, broad spectrum and SPF 30

and people are like, the consumer is like, no. Natural Instinct Invisible Natural Sunscreen also fails and Eco Soul Water Shield Sunscreen It's not that they do nothing It's just a lot of them are less SPF than what they're advertising Yes, correct They don't measure up to their bold claims They're saying they're 50, for example

But they might only be 20 or 30 For example, Le Tan, the coconut one we were talking about They said we're 50 plus They actually tested at 42 And they didn't meet their broad spectrum claims. So it's still like 42 is better than 15 or as my mum liked to wear in the 90s, four.

Yeah, a four oil. The tan. So they're basically basting themselves. And she'd come back from overseas after New Zealand was like, we don't sell anything under 15 anymore. She'd come back from overseas and she'd be like,

look what I got. It'll be eight. And you'd be like, no don't sell anything on the 15 anymore. She'd come back from overseas and she'd be like, look what I got. It'll be eight. And you'd be like, no, mum. So the overseas sun is very different to the Kiwi sun. Yeah. It's a brutal old sun.

We've got a very harsh sun. So yeah, you can read that. That's at consumer.org.nz and they usually charge for articles, but the Ministry of Health's like, funded it so that you know what sunscreens are best to buy for you and your family. So you can check it out before summer

hauls. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Alright, so I had a pretty successful day shopping yesterday. You went shopping? Only because I made an appointment for 11 o'clock to get the laser.

Got my laser on my back and butt yesterday. How did the ladies that are off and on appreciate that? Apparently I'd had a bit of a mishap shaving my own dairy hair. That had not been, because you've got to shave it before you go because the laser bounces up and down the

hair and you've got to shave it. It works better if it's shaved. So it can zap the follicle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So apparently I'd missed a couple of spots. So I didn't got to shave it. It works better if it's shaved. So it can zap the follicle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So apparently I'd missed a couple of spots. Oh, no. So I didn't get to see it. I'd imagine it's like when you drop a lollipop on the carpet

and you pick it up and there's just a weird patch of fluff. Yeah. Do you smell your hair burning when the laser's happening? No, she just gave it a little bit of a dry shave. So she said you could expect some irritation. It's nothing quite like someone else dry shaving your butt. Beam you too, babes. Don't worry.

It's something I don't think everybody should experience. Face down in a paper G string with these sunglasses on that protect your eyes from the lasers. It's like you're at a really erotic welder's house. You've got the welder protecting mask on.

Wow. And he's laid your face down and he's shaving you. Yeah. Anyway, so that was for 11. Yeah. But you weren't here yesterday, Megan. You were sick. We wrapped it up pretty quick after the show yesterday.

Right. We're in the warm down period of the year now, officially. Yeah. And so I had some time on my hands. So I went for a walk in downtown Auckland. I spent a lot of time at the fence just watching the people doing the central rail loop. Thinking, yeah, I'll have a nosy when I walk home past that too. Yeah.

And then I stood outside an isolation hotel and watched them unpack some people who have just arrived back in New Zealand. Oh, yeah, I've seen them do that too. Wow, that was intense. How close were you to them? Temporary fence? No, not super close. Okay, good. I was back but they all had masks and stuff on and they just got carted straight off the bus, straight into the isolation facility. That was quite cool. The military were there and everything. Did you wave or?

No, I gave them this look. What the bloody hell have you been? You'd not ruin this. You'd not just be coming home for Christmas holidays. There's people desperately no I gave them this look with a bloody hell of you man why have you been not just becoming home for Christmas holidays there's people desperate to get home I gave them that look

you're such a boomer not enough room for everybody and it was then I was like I'm going to get myself some new shoes because you'll be familiar some two or three years ago

Megan in a Labor Day sale, I moved from what kind of? Etnies. Etnies. Probably. To a new balance.

Yeah. I'm not in new balances pocket. Don't want anybody thinking that. But when I put them on, I was like, that's a comfortable summer shoe. You just had the plain, what are they?

The 24-5? 24 What are they The 245 247 The 247 247 yeah And just the black and white And they lasted for a long time Yeah they're good shoes And they were great

But they just started to wear out Where my big toe Pushes against the material At the top Yeah So I've been on the lookout I didn't find anything I loved Over the Labor Day sales

So I was like I've got to have a look Because they've stopped making them, those ones. Dad was like, oh, I want these exact shoes. These are exactly what I want. Heartbreak. So I walked into the Nike store. And a young man was very helpful.

Okay. I am purposely trying to sound like my mum. He was a very helpful young man And I said I'm after Something that looks like this And he's like oh yeah there's these But have you ever thought about Air Force Ones And I was like see ya

Cause I'm not an Air Force One guy I'd love to be an Air Force One guy You're not an Air Force One guy I remember how much we had to twist your arm To get those shoes in the first place. I know. I'm a creature of habit. I would have been alright with a Nike shoe

that was on special. That's the most important part. And looked a lot like the black and white shoe I had. That was all I wanted. And he was like, what about some Air Force 1s? I was like, sorry Nelly. Not for me. Did he even get that reference? No, he's like, my name's

Craig. I'm like, weird name for a kid. See ya buddy. And then I went to the Adidas store. Adidas. One of those two ways to say it. I've heard people say it both ways. And they had a similar black and white shoe for $220. Out the door I went.

Nothing against you. I won't spend that much on a shoe. But you won't spend $100 and something on a shoe that lasted two years. But you still wouldn't spend like close to... $75 is what those New Balance cost me last time. Yeah, but they were heavily discounted. And you got Queen over here doing your shopping.

So that's when I got on the Google machine and I Googled New Balance Shoes, downtown Auckland, and it said that there was an outlet store. Okay. And so I walked a little bit further to the outlet store, which is a little bit of a walk, and I got in and I was like, hey, man, and I was like, already I know we're off for a good start here. And I was like, I need these.

And I pointed at them and he's like, they don't make those anymore. I said, I know this fact. And he's like, we've got something similar though. And he went out the back and he came out with four boxes. Yep. And one of them were white. And I said, you can take that back immediately. I don't want white shoes.

They'll be ruined before I walk out of here and sit straight in a muddy puddle. Yeah. And they'll be ruined. And then another set were blue. And I was like, bleh. Yeah. Not for me. The other And then another set were blue. And I was like, no, not for me. The other two sets were two black and white shoes. Okay.

And they were $80, it said on the box. Well, that's you. That's right in my wheelhouse. And it said beside it, 40% off. And I said, is it 40% off 80? And he's like, I don't know. I think it is. And I was like, what? And then he said to the other girl, he's like, is this 40% off 80? And he's like, I don't know. I think it is. And I was like, what?

And then he said to the other girl, he's like, is this 40% off 80? And she's like, yeah, I think so. I was like, surely it's not. But I said to myself, surely it's not. But I'm going along with this. I'll see where this takes me. And so I got two pairs. I got so excited.

You bought the same pair. Two pairs. Show me these. Oh, yeah. Two pairs of these. these. Oh, yeah, okay. Two pairs of these. They're not bad, are they? They're like 85 bucks. I mean, they're not like your last ones. They're not exactly the same, but they don't make those anymore.

But, yeah, I liked it so much that I'll take both pairs. And I'm considering going back and getting another couple. No. What? Because I took one pair home and I put it in the back of the wardrobe. So when these shoes go, I'm already sorted for my next pair of shoes. What if you want to branch out? You don't want to go

anymore because you'll be off brand in four years. I will not. When those two pairs run out. The things I wear now at my age, I could be dressed in the 80s, the 90s, the 2000s or now. This is what I'm going for.

I'm going for a T-shirt, T-shirt and jeans. I had my time trying to keep up with fashion. Are you retiring from fashion? Are you retiring? I'm retiring from riding the crest of fashion, all right? I'm T-shirts and jeans and a baseball cap in the summer and a beanie in the winter forever. And New Balance.

And New Balance. Shoes. Forever. And New Balance. And New Balance. Shoes. Forever. Right, okay. That's me. I'm done. I'm just going to wear the same thing from now until I die. Okay.

You'll remember what it was like in the 2000s. It was pretty cool. When I was trying to keep up with the DC shoes and the baggy jeans. No one told you to wear your hat slightly sideways. They told me. Fashion told me to wear my hat sideways. I They told me. Fashion told me to wear my hat sideways. I've given up. All right.

This is me forever now. This is you forever now. Till I die. An Italian man has breached isolation rules, quarantine situations, because this has happened just this week. Okay. This has come to light.

And of course, Europe. In the midst just this week. Okay. This has come to light. And, of course, Europe. In the midst of another wave. Yeah. So he's 48 years old. He had a big barney, a big argument with his wife. Yeah. And he set off and he was gone for a week. And he walked 400 kilometers, averaging 65 kilometers each day.

What did he just say? No, I'm going for a walk. I'm out of here. I'll show you. I'm leaving. Yeah. So he got fined 400 euros for breaching lockdown conditions.

And when he was finally caught up with a long way from home, he said, I'm fine. I'm just a little bit tired. So he got it out of his system. I've had a world to think about What went wrong That's a big stubborn soul cake That's too long

You need to be found Because that's too long to be like I'm going home now Like you just need someone to catch up with you And be like come on come home Come on Like yeah like the wife would have actually started worrying And then you're going to be in more trouble when you get back.

Because you made them worry. Because you made them worry. Yeah. Like at least just go away for a day at the most. I like to imagine, you know, the Italians are a passionate people. I like to imagine everyone was just holding their ground. Yeah. People would be like,

I'm not sure worried about your husband. I don't know if you're kidding no he's been gone a long time he might have been eaten by a bear no and then the phone rings and she's like, hello? Arrivederci. Wrong number. And he's out there walking. He's like, it's me, Mario. He's just walking very frustratedly, and she's at home pretending not to be worried.

But what a great sook. Oh, it's a good sook. What a good sook. I love when you see an adult Tanty, a big salt. I love having a good sock. Yeah. But you don't keep it going for four days, though. Oh, you'd be surprised.

You'd be surprised. You don't keep a salt going for four days. You get over it and move on. When you've got kids, you can't. But I'm pretty sure before we had kids, I had a good three days. There was a mutual three-day silent tree bit. Really? Okay.

I mean, it would have been about, I can't even remember what it was about. So that just shows you how stupid it would have been. You probably weren't allowed to buy the latest PlayStation. No, no, no. It wouldn't have been something like that. It would have been like, can that be done? And I'd be like, yes, it can be. But you've just got to stop.

Well, if I do stop, you won't do it. I will do it in my own time. It would have started out like that. Okay, yeah. And then it would have escalated, and then it just would have been a mutual sook. Yeah, right. And then we both would have gone silent treatment

and just packed a big sook until someone cried. Well, silent treatment's one thing, but have you ever had a tanty at a party and gone and hid behind a car? Because it didn't last long, but should have made a good point of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a good tantee.

We made a big tantee. That was so great. I throw shorter sooks, but they're good ones. Yeah. So we want to open up the phone lines now. 0800 DALS at M, and you can text as well,

9696. When did you have a big adult sook about something? Or a big adult tantee? Sometimes it just makes you feel better. Yeah, it does. And maybe... 100% it makes you feel better. Yeah, it does. And maybe... 100% it makes you feel better.

I mean, you might not have gone on a four-day, 400-kilometre walk, just to make a point, but maybe you did do something for an extended period of days. Or maybe you just had to run away and hide for a day. Or behind a car at a party, Megan. Chris, a good adult sook. So we want to know when you've had a big adult

sookie a big tantee a man in Italy went on a four day 400k walk yeah he had a fight with his wife so he's

like well I'll show you some text messages and my partner sat on my sunglasses completely accidentally and broke them

before we went on holiday I had a big sook and I didn't talk to him for a whole day until I had to because we were leaving for holiday. I had a big sook and I didn't talk to him for a whole day until I had to because we were leaving for the holiday.

I had a big sookie. I had a classic adult sook. It all happened. I was overdoing the cooking and the dishes and adult jobs. I had a meltdown. I hid it in my room and had a massive online shopping spree. There's nothing you can do about it.

It's already done. We're talking about when you've packed an adult sookie. And, man, there's some great stories coming in of when, I don't know, sometimes you just get overwhelmed. You might already be in a bad mood and you're just like, no, I am about to act like a child and pack a good old sook. The worst part is having to come out of it because are you going to be the wicked person and be like, fine. You hope when you're in your sook that something really bad happens, like a house

fire, so that everyone forgets. When you like snap out of it, no one can be like, oh, because nothing's worse than coming out of your sook and someone says, someone's getting in a better mood, aren't they? Someone's coming out of their little sook. Sarah, why did you have an adult sookie? I had just, my boyfriend and I had got these really delicious donuts, and he ate all of his, and I was going to save mine until I had a coffee with it. Went to get it, and he had eaten half of it. I was so mad. I locked myself in the bathroom, put myself in timeout,

and then when I came out, I was like, I got the rest of it, threw it in the bin. And then he had the nerve to say, I could have eaten that. Back to the bathroom. This dude is playing with me. I couldn't believe it. I was like, if I can't have it, then no one's having any of that.

Brilliant, Sarah. Thanks, Nicole. Ashley, when did you have an adult tanty? So not that long ago, we were taking the kids out for breakfast. And when we got there, we sat down, got given the menus, went to order you know just order coffees and stuff but they told us that the coffee machine wasn't working but they had someone coming in to fix it yeah and my husband wanted to leave and um and go somewhere totally different and i

said no it'll be okay you know don't it's not that big a deal We'll just have brekkie. And so he went and sat in the car the whole time and refused to get out. And so me and the kids, you know, we ordered a delicious breakfast. And, yeah. He's four foot breakfast because he couldn't have a coffee. And this is, you know, a blokey bloke who's, you know, this big, nearly seven foot man

who was sitting in the car in the passenger seat because he couldn't have coffee. Brilliant. Ashley, thanks for your call. Sean, who was it that had an adult sookie? My actual grandfather. Turned out, this was maybe three or four years ago now. He was part of the SAS, so he knew what he was doing and whatnot. Him and his wife had a big argument, so he decided to walk off and go hide

in a big empty shed at the back of his house. He had him there for like a month. They would come inside at night time when no one was around, take his food back out there again. So he didn't go bush, he just went shed. Yeah. He had for a month. I mean, she's now, so.

Right, but so she knew that he was sneaking back in. Would she leave food out for him? No, she didn't because obviously him being trained, he was real quiet. Right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She would have noticed food was missing over a course of a month.

She would have had to go in shopping and she would have realised that more food was going out than she was eating. Yeah, well, that's what I would have thought. Wow. She just played along and let him have his moment in the shed. That's so cute. Pretty much. I'd better get a couple more tins of peaches.

He seems to think if he's only eating tin food, I'm not going to notice. Right. Sean, thanks for your call, mate. Some other text messages about adult tanties. I've wanted Ugg boots for years. My husband said, absolutely not. Overrated and expensive. Sean, thanks for your call, mate. Some of the text messages about adult tanties. I've wanted Ugg boots for years. My husband said, absolutely not.

Overrated and expensive. He bought himself a pair and raved about them. No, that's betrayal. Huge sucky. Huge adult tantee. A year ago, we were somewhere and there was a really cool truck and someone said, do you want to drive of it? And I said, absolutely. And my missus said, we don't have time.

And a year later, I still think of it every now and then and have a little bit of a sook about it. Oh my God. You want to drive the truck? Yeah. I packed a sookie and drove down to Napier with only the clothes I had on in my wallet. That's a good sookie. That's a run away from home sookie.

My husband had a sook and it lasted for three days. We were on the way home from dinner. I was driving because he had got very drunk at dinner. Okay. And we had a little debate. I was annoyed on the way home. On the way home, he said, can you stop at the vape shop? I want to buy a vape.

I said, no. And I drove straight past. Three days he packed a sook about me driving past the vape store. He slept downstairs, gave me the silent treatment, and then he finally broke and he came in crying and said, I'm sorry, but I never ask you for anything. I only wanted that one thing. He knows he can drive himself to the vape store.

I'm in three. As soon as you're sober up, mate, you do what you want. You do what you need to do. Somebody said, my mum did this, had a massive argument with Nana, decided to storm off in a sookie. She came back later that day and the inside of her shoes was soaked with blood. So always choose good footwear before you storm off in a walkie-salk.

Yeah. So many good ones. And even in our own producer's booth with the story of the half-eaten donut, executive engineer has been thrown under the bus. This is unbelievable. Nothing's in confidence. But it wasn't a donut.

Oh, my God. It was sweet and sour pork. What happened? What happened? We'd had Chinese as a family the night before, and I came home from work, and I'd had, like, a bad sleep, and I was in a real grumpy before. And I came home from work and I'd had like a bad sleep and I was in a real grumpy mood and I was like, hell yeah, that sweet and sour pork will be there.

It's got my name on it. Because I think Andy was going to some sort of lunch and then he had taken it and had it as like a morning tea. And boy, did I throw down. Was it your dish though? No, we just share. We just get three dishes and share. Who said out loud sweet and sour pork?

Like when everyone was like chucking ideas out there for a dish. Well, mum and dad don't normally do the leftovers. They normally leave it for us. So that was kind of an unspoken assumption. And then because he was going to some sort of lunch, I was like. But who the night before had said sweet and sour pork? I got a feeling it was Andy that said sweet and sour pork. No.

Yep. It says sweet and sour pork. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. My mum is staying with us at the moment and she's already done like a... Your mum said something to me

at your baby shower. Oh, I guarantee she said something to everyone. And I still can't decipher what she... We were talking about birthing. guarantee she said something to your mum. And I still can't decipher what she said. We were talking about birthing. And she said that there was assistance when you were being birthed, in her experience.

And then afterwards she said... Now, I don't even know if what I'm about to say is broadcastable. One's deciphered. Should you? Four stitches in a chafe bag was what she said. Now, a chaff, you know what a horse puts on its face

so it can eat? Now, I know what the four stitches are because there's a stitching. What did she mean by a chaff bag? I couldn't tell you. And I said, I beg your pardon. And she said, ha, ha, ha. Like I was in on the gag but I was just like offended by what tell you. And I said, I beg your pardon. And she said, ha, ha, ha. Like I was in on the gag, but I was just like offended by what she said.

And I was like, um, what? I don't know. What did she say? And then she said it again. And I was like, what's that part? And she was like. I have no idea. She winked at me, Megan.

She winked at me. I don't know why she winked. And then she sauntered into the crowd. She was sauntering around the crowd telling everyone intimate details of me being born. She was actually on fire. She was great, yeah. And then I, because I thought she was a little bit boozed, but then later she was like, you know, I didn't have one drink.

I didn't have time. Didn't she? I assumed that that was a gin-inspired. No. Wow. Telling the story of your birth? No. God, imagine how much graphic and more graphic it would be

if she had a few gins. Well, I've had a bit of a telling off because like, I use her Netflix. Okay. But she, we sat down and she was like, do you know, my Netflix has gone up to $21. She's like, that's not what I used to pay. I used to pay $12. And I was like, well, no, they had a price.

They hiked their prices. But it turns out someone, and I swear black and blue, it was not me, someone out of the family has upgraded her Netflix and not told her. How else could that be? You know how you can just go, would you like to upgrade because everyone's watching the screen? So you get another screen. Yeah.

But she might have done that. If you were watching it and somebody else and she wanted to watch it. Let's go with that. It would have been like upgrade and, you know, boomers are just like clicking the button trying to get it. Thinking upgrade and update are the same thing. Yeah. I'd pass the blame straight back onto her.

Yeah. Well, it wasn't me. Anyway, we were talking about what movie to watch on Netflix. And she said, oh, your father rung me today because he needed to know where the movie notebook was. The movie notebook? The movie, the notebook? Yeah. She's like, no, no, no, no, our book.

I was like, what are you talking about? And she said, no, because he was watching, silly old fart, was watching the movie. And then he had a moment where he's like, oh, I don't know if I've seen this before. So we write every movie we watch down in a book. Oh, my God, how cute is that? Do they review it? Do they give it like an out of five stars? I don't think so.

It's purely... You liked this one? You should watch it again. It's purely so they don't end up watching because they've done it so many times they end up watching the same Bruce Willis bloody movie or... Is it one of those notebooks with the alphabet

down the side so if it's like starts with like Bruce Willis die hard go to D open it up oh yes we have seen this After a year or two

there might be several entries they'd have to go through in no particular order Yeah to see wow to see if they've watched it Oh no this needs to be alphabetised

But then in the end Dad was like oh I'm not going to look because I'm quite enjoying it either way. Oh my God. But he could have already seen it. Yeah, maybe. Wow.

It feels familiar, but it's good. So they write every movie down. At what age and at what, how many years do you have to give a movie before you've forgotten the basic premise and plot and lines from it?

And at what age? Because, you know, it's like a TV show you might watch if a new season, you know, it's like a TV show you might watch if a new season's coming out and it's been a year, you might watch the last couple of episodes of the first season just for a refresher, but... Yeah. You know you've done it.

You know, when you're watching it, you're like, that's right, that's right. Yeah. So what did you end up watching with mum? Had it been in the... Now, does she get to put that in the movie book because she's seen it but your dad hasn't? Oh, I don't know what the technicality is of that.

We watched Spongebob the movie and she was just like, what is this? Spongebob's a weird one because I love it. My parents think it's crazy but my kids love it. There's like this generational divide of people

who like Spongebob and people who just think it's the stupidest thing they've ever seen. That was her. Actually, Spongebob and just people who just think it's the stupidest thing they've ever seen. Yeah. That was her. It's a real, actually Spongebob might be like a defining show

of the generations. Yeah. There's a thesis in this if anybody's listening that's searching for a doctorate. I bet it's been done. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Megan had another dirty dream about Harry Styles last night. No, it wasn't dirty. Well, you just met his parents. I met his family. He took me around to his family's place for dinner. I was like, yes, I'm finally meeting the family.

When are you going to stop these dreams? Oh, I thought you were going to say, when are you going to finally seal the deal? I was like, I'm waiting. Are we still progressing? No, it's good. You're taking things slow. Very 19, like 40s of you.

The 12 Days of Fleshmas. Well, it's super easy. If you'd like to play, you just register at ZM Online and tell us why you should be on either the naughty or the nice list. Have a listen to this. This is today's present.

And it's got like a round thing on it. It's a box, but it's got a round thing. Yeah. Have we left the security tag on? Someone stole something from JB Hi-Fi. And they've left that thing that they wire on. That round, wired thing on the top. I don't know what this prize is until we open it with our winner.

And joining us first, should we do naughty or should we do nice list? Who's on the nice list? Chloe, good morning. Good morning. You're on the nice list this year. Yeah, I hope so. Okay, now why are you on the nice list this year?

So probably roughly around the start of the year. So I, like many people, have a Netflix account. It is my account. I don't kind of hook into anyone else's one. Who would do that? And my parents kind of, I was like talking to them one day and they showed an interest and I was like, oh yeah, you're welcome to use my one.

So yeah, I'm a kid and my parents are using my Netflix account. I think I was on the middle tier one. I think you could have like two devices. And yeah, so probably one night a couple of months back, I was lying in bed watching Netflix as you do. And I get this email come through. And it's like, thank you for upgrading your Netflix account. You can now watch on so many devices.

And I was like, what's going on? Oh my God, this is exactly what happened to Megan's mum. But it wasn't me. Someone's upgraded your account. Well, it's your parents, isn't it? Well, yeah, you kind of get what, like, I heard about people's accounts getting hacked and I was like, man, what's going on here?

Like, I had a bit of concern and I was like, I'm about people's accounts getting hacked and I was like, man, what's going on here? Like I had, you know, had a bit of concern and I was like, I'm confused. And I got in touch with my mum and she was like, nope, it wasn't me. And my dad was next to her and she asked him and he was like, oh yeah, I went to watch it and I couldn't get on. So I just upgraded it.

That's how easy it happened. That's how easy it would have happened to your mum. So it comes up with like a little notification. So you're on the nice list because your parents are leeching off of you. Yeah. Yeah. That's a silly list. It's an unnecessary list.

Two thirds. If you split Netflix into the accounts of people that are using it, her parents are two thirds. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, Chloe, wait there. We're going to meet our Naughty List contestant today.

Ho, ho, ho! Who's on the Naughty List? Good morning, Ella. Good morning. Good morning. She sounds naughty. Why are you on the Naughty List, Ella? So I went through a breakup recently.

Okay. Being the slightly petty person that I am, I had a couple of religious mailers pop into my mailbox that had an option for me to post in a name and address for somebody else to receive further religious mailers. Okay. So, you know, Bibles, prayer quotes, anything sort of thing.

So I paid for a stamp and sent them to my ex's new house. I like this. I like it. I like it. They probably would have got a door knock or two as well. I'm hoping so.

It's just something that's mildly inconvenient. Nothing too horrible, but just a mild inconvenience, knowing where did this come from. Are you whispering? Are you at work? Yes, I am at work. Well, they probably all think you're nice.

You're on the nice list, Ella, but no. You should register his phone number as a possibly interested person to join Les Mills too. I'll tell you what, they'll be on the bloody ringer. Any gym would be. That's why you always give a fake number if you just get a free trial anywhere for anything.

Oh, yes. All right, well, Ella on the naughty list. Chloe on the nice list. Who's it going to be, big dog? I can't go past Ella because that's so funny. Ella, congratulations. Thank you. You are the winner of the 12 Days of Fletchmas today.

I think Chloe is just paying it back for her parents bringing her up for all those years. Yeah, okay. Get your parents to her up for all those years. Yeah. Okay. Get your parents to pay for a new sponge offer. That's what everyone does. She's got to run her own way. All right, we're going to open this present, Ella, and see what you've won today for the 12 days of Fletchmas.

It's Megan. You have a drunk elephant glowy cat. It's a night cat. Okay, thank you. Fletch is like, I don't know. I don't know what that is, Megan. The thing that was sticking out is a compact mirror. Oh, nice. Could always do with more of those.

Fletcher's just like, what is this? You've got the night kit. It's a very exciting gift. Great, yeah, whatever that is, cool. Awesome, thank you so much. No worries. I know that all of these presents are fantastic, though, because basically Executive Intern Anya bought stuff that she'd want personally.

Is that how this has worked? Yeah, pretty much. This whole 12 days of Fletchmas? Yeah, pretty much. My Christmas wish list. All right, there we go. If you'd like to register ZM online. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day comes to us from a documentary called Life Below Zero. This documentary was released in 2012, and it was about how Canada approaches winter. Canadian winter is very, very cold. It's harsh. And people often in Canada look at it as something they have to suffer through to be a Canadian.

There's no really magical feeling nationwide around. I mean, there's people who enjoy it. There's no like really magical feeling nationwide around. I mean, there's people who enjoy it. There's your skis and everything. But apparently this documentary is like, we need to approach winter as something that can be celebrated. Right. More than something we have to go through to see summer again. Yeah.

I guess New Zealand's a little bit the same, right? Winter, summer's the months that on a whole, everybody's like, yahoo. And then winter's the ones where we're like, well, it's miserable, but, you know, there's worse places to be. But there's, like, I feel like theirs is beautiful. Ours is just a bit, like, wet.

But see, that's the problem. You're always looking at somebody else's. Theirs is, like, freezing cold and they have to deal with, like, in their cities, like, a metre or two of snow, which costs the city a heap to do up. So they'd probably look at our winter and be like, oh, mild, that'd be nice.

Yeah, right. So that was kind of what they looked at. They said now one country that kind of embraces winter is Russia. And so today's fact of the day is in Russia, it's believed if you eat ice cream in winter, it'll actually warm you up. But it was. It's Russian folklore that cold frozen food in winter warms you up. But it was. It's Russian folklore that cold frozen food in winter

warms you up. Because it makes the weather feel less cold. So they have like ice cream carts in winter. Yeah. They have ice cream

and ice cream sells as much in winter as it does in summer in Russia. That's nuts. Because there's like this tradition

associated with it. And also, apparently in Russia it's unpatriotic to complain about the winter because it was that extreme cold in the winter that saved them from two different invasions in World Wars. Oh, okay. So in World War II,

when the Germans were advancing into Russia, the Germans weren't used to how intense the Russian winter was. Yeah, right. So the Russians just like knuckled down, but the Germans just got frozen out basically, froze to death a lot of them. Stalingrad, this massive battle of Stalingrad, they knew if they could last through to

spring, if they could just see out the winter, then enough Germans would have died that they'd have a better chance. Imagine psyching out the Germans on the front line, you've just got like a ice cream. And you're just looking at it and you're like, cold?

Not even cold. Not to me, comrade. I'm looking it up. Also, apparently, you know the big Russian fur hats? Yeah. It's seen as unmasculine to put the ear flaps down,

even though they've got ear flaps. But I love the ear flaps down. Me too. I'd always wear the ear flaps down. I want the warm ears to stay warm. But Russian men... They've got cold ears and they still won't put them down

because you're not manly, man. It's not masculine to wear them down. Come on. So today's fact of the day is in Russia, it's considered a winter treat to eat an ice cream. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Hasn't Ellen had a rough year? Oh, hasn't she?

Such a rough year. Well, she's decided to cheer herself up. She and Portia lived in a property that they bought in 2019 for $38 million. And this is the property that she called a prison during lockdown. That's right. And people are like, hey, Ellen, that's a mansion. Yeah. Like $38 million mansion.

You're all right, mate. You're sprawling Balinese inspired mansion. Yeah. Like $38 million mansion. You're all right, mate. You're sprawling Balinese-inspired mansion. Yeah. Yeah. She's sold it now for $47.3 million. So in one year she made? Close to $10 million. Wow.

$9 million. Yeah. Yeah. But she's bought a new property. And this was to tear herself up and get her out of that bloody prison that she was in. She's bought a property which is in the same neighbourhood as

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and it cost them $69 million. Whoa! You know how they always list what a property has? Yeah. It's got 1.6 hectares. That's H-A-A. Yep. Hectares. And it has a barn

and a large lily pond. Oh. I would have expected it to be more, like bigger for 69 million. How many rooms? Does it say how many rooms in that? No, it doesn't. Because when there's only a couple of you,

why do you need a giant, I don't know, it just sounds like so much housework. I mean, I know you'd get someone in, but so much admin. Yeah. But I guess she wanted out of that prison and she... She wanted to cheer herself up. Yeah.

Yeah. So we wanted to ask this morning, and obviously nobody's dropping $69 on a house, but you know... $69 million. $69 million, sorry. I can't imagine if a house was $69. Amazing, imagine. Obviously, we're not spending that much money,

but you know, when have you been a little bit in a bit of a mood or maybe you've been feeling a bit down, what have you bought to cheer yourself up? How do we splurgey-wurge? Should we start with Megan? Oh, no. What haven't I bought?

But I like to buy lots of things on sale because then I feel like I've achieved, you know? Yeah, right. But to cheer yourself up. I don't think I've ever thought that I need to buy something. I'm a glum. I need to buy something. When you're like... You've had a bad day and maybe it's late night shopping night.

When you're sick, that's when I go nuts because it makes me feel better. When you're sick? Yeah. When you were sick yesterday, did you do some shopping to make yourself feel better? Oh, I did actually. What did you buy? I bought some maternity clothes because I was like, oh, nothing fits and you deserve it. Well, no, that's okay because you need like maternity clothes.

I was ready to say no, I didn't, but yeah. Well, don't you have enough? You've only got a few months to go. What's enough? Like, I'll definitely wear them in the next two months. And then after that, yep. So, Ellen, after quite a year of it. She's had a rough year.

Right. Has decided to cheer herself up and buy a 69. $69 million mansion. That's all? Good. Get out of that. of rough year. Right. Has decided to cheer herself up and buy a 69 69 million dollar mansion. That's all? Get out of that 43 million dollar prison that she was in. Really cheer yourself up. Jennifer, what did you buy to make yourself feel good?

I bought a car. Just like that? Just like that. I was, it was a Saturday morning. I had been up all night with my young boys. They'd gone to football and I was just like, oh, all I've got to do now is just go home and do the cleaning and housework. And it was wintertime. So as I was driving home, I saw the, you know, the motor showroom on the side there. And I thought, oh, I'll just zip in here and have a look. And ended up buying a car.

And did that pick you up? Did that check you up? That checked me up. Great. Excellent. Loot seat. Excellent. Loot seat.

Checked me up. And didn't do any homework on it. Just drove it out of the showroom, gave them my gold car and gave them a check and then just said, see you later. I'm going home. And like my husband said at the time, he said, it's not a dress. You can't take it back. And I'm going, it's not a dress. You can't take it back. And I'm going, it's fine by me.

I just want a new car. I feel a lot better now. Wow. I don't. I don't. I don't know if I could be that impulsive. Actually, he's wrong, though. You could take it back if you, that check bounce that you wrote them when they got a

cashed out on Monday. They'll come and get it and in fact save you the trip. Jennifer, thanks. You've also more purchases to cheer yourself up. I was having a bad day while transiting through Dubai airport. Nothing was going right and I saw some sunglasses and then I couldn't decide between two pairs.

So I bought them both. Made me feel a little bit better. I purchased $1,200 worth of Kipp & Co beard linen to make me feel better. Oh, is that fancy? Oh, that sounds fancy. I think you'd have to take it home, give it a hot wash, dry it,

get it on the bed and hop in to actually feel better. Yeah, but so that weight would be the anticipation. Oh. The high thread count on a mansion too. Well, for that amount of money, you'd hope so. You've got all the threads. We're talking about what you bought to cheer yourself up. Ellen DeGeneres, after a crappy year,

has bought herself a $69 million mansion. So maybe not on that level, but would love to know what you've bought yourself. Some big purchases though. Yeah. Big purchases. And like, you know, it might be all right for the first hour or two.

You're probably going to go back to being mopey after you've... It feels good and then you look at your bank account and you're like, oh, ouch. Oh, yeah. Like, Kirsty, Kirsty, what did you buy to cheer yourself up? I bought myself a Gucci purse. Wow, I don't even want to know how much that cost. Thousands? Yeah, I can't remember how much the shipping was or if I had to pay shipping on it and stuff.

Right. Which is usually something that I'm like really conscious of and I'm like, oh no, that's $5 shipping. I'm not buying that. Yeah. $5 shipping on $1,000 goods. Yeah, generally on the luxury goods they give you free shipping and then you're like, oh, definitely get it then. Wow. It's very much an impulse.

Right. And were you just having a bad day? Yeah, I was like in a Dunedin flat at the time and it was winter. Wow. It was very much an impulse. Right. And were you just having a bad day? Yeah. I was like in a Dunedin flat at the time and it was winter and it was really cold. Was that your food money for the year? I got the $1,000 course-related cost. Yeah, Kirsty. We've all spent the course-related cost on something we should know.

Yeah. Wow. Amazing. And do you still have it all go into one item? Mine didn't all. Yeah. Wow, amazing. And do you still have it? Mine didn't all go into one item, though. No, mine went into a lot of booze and food. Yeah. Kirsty, do you still have that

or did you have to pawn that off halfway through the year to pay for rent? No, I've still got it, actually. I've finally used it since leaving Dunedin. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, I was really proud of myself. Because I was going to say, if you were using it in Dunedin, people would just think it was fake. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, I was really proud of myself. Because I was going to say, if you were using it in Dunedin,

people would just think it was fake. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's like little dust bags until I left Dunedin. Oh, good stuff. Yeah. Wow. So I was like, oh, that's an investment for the future.

Investor. Okay, handbags. Purses and handbags aren't investments, Kirsty. Oh, it depends who you ask. They absolutely are. They keep their resale flitch. What am I just rolling our eyes? Brilliant.

Hey, Kirsty, thanks for your call. Phil, what did you buy to make yourself feel better? Hey, this is going back a wee while ago. PlayStation 3 days. My girlfriend wouldn't let me buy one at the time. And maybe a few weeks down the track, we ended up going into some sort of break. So I had a night out with the boys, as you do, to get over these things.

And the next day, super hungover, went out, picked up all my new PS3 stuff and controller, spent about, I don't know, $1,200, $1,500 that the girlfriend wouldn't let me. And then come a week later, we got back together. So it was a piece of both worlds. Oh, so you got your case. That's a win-win. Yeah, and you got to eat it too. She didn't make you take it back or anything like that, did she?

No, no. Didn't have to try and disguise it as a... As an air purifier. As an air purifier. Yeah, well, you don't want to take a break for a week just to get the new PS5, Phil? Yeah, I'm trying to wrangle that somehow. Brilliant.

Hey, Phil, thanks for your call. Dom, what did you buy to make yourself feel better? BMW. phil yeah i'm trying to wrangle that from there brilliant hey phil thanks you call uh dom what did you buy to make yourself feel better uh bmw jesus tom how much did you spend on that 20 grand how upset were you well i was in a mood i was like you know what treat yourself treat yourself and did you feel better afterwards? Yeah, I did, until I shot it to the wife. Oh, okay, and then you were in a mood again, or she was in a mood? She was in a mood. Okay, did you buy her a car to make her feel better?

No, but she bought something else as well. Jeez Louise, moods must be expensive in your house. Dom, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. Somebody said, God, I thought when I was having a bad day at work and on the way home I bought pizza for dinner rather than having to get home and cook was a splurge. Some of these people are really

still in the mood buying. I'd rather do that as well. I'd just rather buy food than a Gucci purse. It's a lot cheaper. Somebody else said that 2020 bombed marriage, family dog, cat, sheep, lamb all died, lost job, moved house five times, busted shoulder, house flooded, needs rebuilding,

bought the smell of Christmas for $350 to cheer me up. What is that? The smell of Christmas. Like an expensive tree, maybe. For $315. Well, it's like an Akoya pine candle, but not for $315. No, no, no. But you could get the tree and the delicious Akoya candle,

and that would be the smell of Christmas. Right. What a horrible year. Oh, what a terrible year. They moved five times in a year? Somebody said, sad from divorce, so went and bought a Lamborghini. Probably not the most solid decision of my life. A Lamborghini?

How much are Lamborghinis? I don't know. I'm not kidding. They're a fair amount of money there. Somebody else said that they left their horrible husband

and bought a Porsche. And somebody else said, broke my neck and was told at one stage I might never walk again. Had surgery. Have recovered. Sold my house.

Bought a Ferrari. Whoa! Made myself feel better. Do they my house. Bought a Ferrari. Whoa. Made myself feel better. Do they still live or is the Ferrari it? I don't know if they live in the Ferrari. That's amazing. $195,000 for their Lamborghini. They've just used it again.

That is nuts. That is madness. You would spend that money on a car. Because I would have to go to the car. You have that left over? They sold their house, maybe. Why don't you go to the bank? I'd be like, hi. I'd be like, what can we help you with?

I'd be like, I want to buy a Lamborghini. And they'd be like, this is a terrible idea. I'd be like, yep, you're right. All right, thanks. That's all I needed to hear. You'd have to get a mortgage on top of your other big mortgage. Even the lady before me said she was just driving home and called into a showroom and bought a car.

Yeah. I can't even imagine. How would you do it? Don't you plan those things out? Because even to get finance, wouldn't they need a couple of days to get your finance approved? It doesn't sound like she needed finance. Do you reckon she had that much cash to buy a new, like, sitting around?

I've never had that much money. That money burns a hole in my pocket well before it gets to that size. Holy moly.