ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th December 2021

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Viagra  Drinking  Top 6: Google Year in Searches  Sunblock Exposé  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Poll-y Moly!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hey! The men's Fleach, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. You've just been taken aback. You said, oh my God, I said, what's happened? And you said, Hitler's been swept away by a raging river.

I said, Hitler? I was scrolling through the news and it said, Hitler lucky to be alive after being swept away while trying to cross a raging river, but it was Haika. And in my haste of scrolling, that was my surprise there. But yeah, it's a story about a central Otago haika. She set off to do the Aradoa Trail. Well, she wanted to see how far she could get.

Was she going from bottom to top? Yeah, she was doing... She was doing the reverse Aradoa cowgirl.-huh. Well, she wanted to see how far she could get. Was she going from bottom to top? Yeah, she was doing- She was doing the reverse Aradoa cowgirl. Which way do you go? Top to bottom. You're meant to go top to bottom. I think you can go either way, but traditionally it's top to bottom. But someone must have worked out a way, if it's quicker to walk from top to bottom or

bottom to top, like less hills, ups and downs, right? Oh, it would be much of a muchness, right? Well, are you saying because the map goes down What goes up must come down I thought you were supposed to plan it so that you got to the South Island In more inclement A warmer Better weather

Because the far north is obviously a bit more forgiving And winter For those that don't know this is the trail that goes from the top of New Zealand to the bottom I'd love to do it one day 3000 kilometres Same that goes from the top of New Zealand to the bottom. I'd love to do it one day. 3,000 kilometres. Oh, no. Same. I'll give it a miss.

Because I think what's good about it is you can just tap in and out at towns, right, and cities. So you can be like, well, I'm going to have a bloody big quarter pounder combo today. Will you? And not have a bloody camp stove noodles. I think you could have a quarter pounder on the way. You could time it so one of your lunches

Is a quarter pounder Absolutely But imagine if you stop Like you're walking through One of the towns And there's like It's Tuesday There's a $10 curry on the go

You're like I'll go that And then the next day You've just got rumbly guts Rumbly bum Oh that'd be the worst If you got the shits on this How many days is it meant to take you? What's the average?

Takes a fucking long time Because god it looks like a lot of hills. I mean, I love my hiking, but I also love, like... It's phenomenal that there is a trail that literally goes from top to bottom. Yeah. It really is. It's so fantastic. Yeah, but... But so what happened? Adolf Hitler's

doing the Aradoa Trail. Adolf gets sweeped away by the river. Yeah. Which, um, and, I mean, you know, hikers know you shouldn't try to cross a ranger. It's this one thing the German scientist said valid was the secret of eternal life. I, Adolf Hitler, have not aged a day since 1945. I am doing celebratory walk of New Zealand. And then he's walking and he's like, I'll be able to cross this river.

It does not look that dangerous. Yeah. If only he had a panzer tank or something to help him out there. I have managed to grab onto a log. Somebody come and help Adolf Hitler. Rescue him? You're like, oh, my God. You know who you look like?

Yes. Adolf Hitler. I am him. Oh, I should have let you drown. I mean, but really what you've done can't be undone by letting you drown in a river

yeah thank you I must continue my walk I want to get to Christchurch for the mating I have some friends there

sadly sadly yes I'm going to show them how to draw a proper swastika okay let's eat this here Stop, stop. Good in time! Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Wednesday. It feels to me like it should be a Thursday or a Friday. I'm happy for it to be...

Friday? Well, it's not. I vote for Friday. It's not. It's Wednesday. Okay. Unfortunately. Well, says you. Well, you're quite happy it's Wednesday,. It's not. It's Wednesday. Okay. Unfortunately. Well, says you. Well, you're quite happy it's Wednesday, are you?

No. You say it's Wednesday. Oh, right. Okay, but it can't be Friday in my mind. Yeah, okay, fair call. You live your truth. Or not. Coming up on the show.

Viagra. The top six. Top six. Well, yeah, Viagra is coming up as well. I want to talk about Viagra first. Yeah, okay. Otherwise, I'll forget. You don't know why that's a joke yet, but you'll find out when you listen to the show. Because there's a new use for Viagra.

That's not just getting a stiffy. Okay, right. It's another one. Well, that wasn't its intended purpose In the first place right Viagra No it wasn't It was a heart medication Heart medication

And then all the old mates Started getting Excited again Excited down there And they were like Oh Hello Yeah

Yeah The top Are you alright Not COVID Not You must always Follow up a choke With a not COVID I heard a sneeze In a crowd yesterday I was like Not COVID. You must always follow up a choke with a not COVID. I heard a sneeze in a crowd yesterday.

I was like, not COVID. Not COVID. Because the kids sneezed. So the parent was very quick to be like, not COVID. I was like, okay, cool. That makes me feel more like it might be. Yeah, when you proclaim it in a crowd. But the top six are the Googled things of 2021.

We'll get into that end of the year. Yeah. It's the right end of the year for people to start saying, here's what happened this year. Because if they did it at the start of the year, they'd be telling the future. News organizations are lazy. It fills a page on the website, doesn't it?

And their laziness makes us even lazier. So don't blame us. So you're dealing with the the top google searches of 2021 yeah the things i'm surprised weren't on there viagra which is the brand name owned by pfizer for the chemical the medication sildenafil okay and up until up until probably, what, a year ago, it was probably their biggest earner, was it? I would say it was Pfizer's most well-known blue pill. Yeah, until they started vaccinating us all.

Yeah. Against COVID. So we might as well go for the Pfizer double and grab ourselves a prescription of Viagra as well. Well, I wonder if that's a way to get some of the 300,000 New Zealanders that are hesitant or anti. Let's just do a combo. For the men?

Two for one. Yeah. Cool. Half of them are men. Those old, you're talking about the old white guys? Yeah. Yeah. Well, they are, you know, if you were to draw a Venn diagram,

two circles beside each other, one people who won't get vaccinated that are old white guys and people who have erectile dysfunction. I'm sure there'd be some crossover. Huge crossover. Yeah. Huge crossover. So they'd trust the little blue pill.

Well, they want to get it. They don't want to seem, you know, they're not the bloody big man. They've promised everybody they're going to be. And they link those things intrinsically. Well, it was actually discovered because it was a blood pressure medication. Initially, Viagra, yeah. High blood pressure medication, yeah. It opened up all the little bits and apparently let the blood flow. Yeah, let the blood go, baby.

And as a side effect, it also opened up all the little bits down there and let the blood flow into the penis. Yes. And it was a rectal medication. So a team of academics have looked into what other medications are out there that could possibly have other positive side effects. Because that's the thing, when you list, what did you just ask for? I just Googled,

how much has Pfizer made off Viagra? Billions. It generated in revenue, in 2019, 500 million US dollars. Right. Just from Viagra. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha.

Yeah, and it's made hundreds of millions off. Just in America, or is that 500 million? I don't even know how much it costs. In US dollars. Yeah, I it's made hundreds of millions off. Just in America, or is that 500 million? I don't even know how much it costs. In US dollars. Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't have to do a deep dive. Yeah, because there was that time I took one of those

stiffy pills from India. Because why not, eh? Because I was in my 20s, and the guy who imported them said, do you want to try one of these? I've got 900. And I said, 900? He's like, yeah, I've had a couple. They were all right.

No side effects. And so I had one. See, I did that in Thailand, and everything went blue. And I was like, I don't know if this is for me. That's what Blue Balls is. No, that's apparently a side effect of it. But it wasn't a legit one. It was, you know how in Thailand they have the rip-offs?

Okay, yeah. Because blue balls is actually how you describe what happens to your eyes. Right, okay. It's the eyeballs that they're talking about there. So, another article says, in 2016, global sales of Viagra, $1.6 billion. So, wow. That is good stuff. Yeah.

Well, they have found out that Viagra not only blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, it may be able to reduce the risk of a person developing Alzheimer's by 69% Wow, okay. How crazy is that? This is like a wonder drug. Is that because old men that are using this, they're... I'm really looking forward to seeing how you think this works.

No, but I'm... Did they find this out accidentally? Like, they're just like, why are these old guys... Why don't they have Alzheimer's? Oh, I see what you're saying. And they find a correlation between Viagra use and the fact that these guys don't have Alzheimer's. Did they find that out accidentally?

Yeah, they said that it may be effective at targeting some of the proteins involved in development of Alzheimer's in the brain. So a lot of medications target specific proteins. Right. And one of the side effects of Viagra is that it may deal with those proteins. I forgot where I was at and I've got a raging stiffing. I can't, you know, you'll know, we can't work both at once. It's either boner or brain.

There's no pill for that yet. No. No. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Well, a study's been done and 70% of dog owners admit that their dog will overeat during

the holidays and that is because they're a little bit looser when it comes to the table food. Everybody's a little bit looser. Everybody's a little bit looser. They're like, it's Christmas. Give the dog what they want. Are you a feed, if you've got two dogs? Yep.

Are they? Three dogs. Three dogs. Oh, you do. Lulu. We often forget about Lulu. Yeah. She's semi-retired.

She sleeps a lot. She's in the Ryman wing. Yeah. Of the home. Oh, very much so. Just sits there all day. Yep. You blow on her to make sure she's still alive.

Because you can't touch her because she can't hear you coming and she freaks out. Oh, because she's deaf, yeah. Oh, that's sad. And she's like, what's that, a breeze? I remember when you got that dog. Isn't that nuts?

I know. And up until like a couple of years ago, she was an absolute spring chicken. People would be like, how old's your puppy? I'd be like, 10. Well, so you're eating dinner.

Are the dogs always around scabbing food? I hate that. I hate when dogs, I don't even like them looking at me while I'm eating. Right. I don't like them sitting somewhere and just watching me eat. I don't like it.

So you won't flick off a bit of chicken or meat? No, no, no, no, no, no. Big no, no. Right. Apparently there's always one family member who can't resist the pumpy dog eyes. 29% mums. Mums are the worst. No, Sade's very, very good.

She stays hard and fast. Because I thought it would have been the kids. Getting rid of the food. Well, that's another reason the dogs go outside when we're eating. They're not allowed anywhere near us. What about any data there on cat owners that put down an ice cream bowl when they're finished?

Because that drives me mad. That is yuck. Well, cats probably shouldn't have dairy, right? No. But they want it. They want it. It's the same when,

oh God, we saw a guy let his dog have a lick of his ice cream and then he went back to licking it. That's disgusting. Yeah, because they all straight up, that dog probably in the last 10 minutes has licked its own butt.

Yeah. Or ate the shit of another animal. That guy does not care at all. And then he'll get Giardia or Camelback Day, and I wonder why. Or probably won't get vaccinated. Yeah, true. 78% of respondents, people that have dogs,

strictly monitor what their dog eats normally. But when it comes to Christmas, normally about two-thirds deviate from their dog's diet. And because it's Christmas, they're like, you eat what you want. Right, a bit of turk. Yeah. Right.

No bones, though. Make sure it's not the bones in it. No, doesn't mention that. You don't want a bloody vet after hours, vet trip at Christmas. Well, yeah, and I just had the hard word from the vet the other day, didn't I, when I took Major Murray Fluffington, and he's lost 100 grams. Yeah. That's a good start, though.

It's a start, I know, but, yeah, he's not happy. Who, Major Murray Fluffington? Well, no, because he's walking on me at, like, 2.30 this morning, being like, feed me, feed me. I'm like, it's too early. Do you say maybe have a piece of fruit? Because there's plenty of water in the tap. You're going to get to children.

We've got food at home. Have a piece of fruit. You'll ruin your appetite for dinner. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Boo, Texas. Boo, Texas. What have they done now? Not only

what is it the abortion, they're proposing a change to the abortion laws. It's very conservative. I know there's little bubbles of, and we've got some listeners who listen to the podcast. We're not painting them with it because they're great people. And they say there's little progressive bubbles of people throughout Texas.

It's not just all. And they say everything's bigger in Texas. The one star, the lone star state. Yeah. So boo to them, though, because a school substitute teacher has been relieved of their duties. The reliever has been relieved. Yes. Oh. That's why they're relieving other teachers.

Yeah. That's why they're a relief teacher. But they are also being relieved of their relief duties. I think if I was... Relieving squared. If I had to be a teacher, I'd be a reliever teacher because it's no care, no responsibility, isn't it? I turned to page 14 in the notebook.

But I wouldn't be tangoed with. I wouldn't be messed with. Oh, no. I'd be strict. Yeah. I wouldn't let them have an inch because they'd take a mile. Well, this guy's been let go because he was a substitute teacher and he chose to bring his karaoke machine

and accompanying light set up to class. And he decided he would show the kids how it's done and sung Britney Spears' Toxic. Please tell me you have audio of this. Mm-hmm. Just wait for this digger ad. Why is there a digger? It's an ad for forestry gear.

It's their... That's a pretty cool thing. That picks up a whole tree at once. Someone feeds it into the machine. All right, I can skip ad now. It's an ad for a machine picks up a whole tree at once and feeds it into the machine. You're getting an ad for a machine that eats a whole tree. Is this toxic?

How do you say that? No one got their work done. Yes. He wants to be fired, right? And then rumours went around that this dude was just like a prankster who just, like Jack Black in the movie School of Rock, just kind of like turned up, no qualifications,

and decided to make the most of it. But people are saying, no, no, no, he's a registered teacher. The school district sent out for him. He came in. But he has been relieved of duties and won't be back. I don't know why. Because that would be me if I was a relief teacher. I'd just wheel in that.

You know when teachers couldn't be bothered, they were hung over, obviously. Well, you're talking about the months of November and December. Yeah, they dragged in the big TV on the trolley and you just watched a movie. Yeah. Do you know what they do now? Because I say to the kids as a joke every day now that they get back from school, I say, what movie did you watch today? Yeah.

And it's not a joke anymore. It's actually they've watched a movie most days. Mitchell and the Machines. Really? The Mitchells and the Machines. Have you seen that? That is great. Anyway, apparently they've got Netflix at school now.

And TV's built in. They don't have to wheel anything in. The TV's already in there. That's wild. It's wall-mounted. That's wild. It's wall-mounted. How do you know when you're about to have a chill lesson?

Yeah. Does the teacher pull it like slightly because it's on those hinge things that come off the wall? Well, maybe. We don't hear that wibbly ass wheel coming down the hallway no more. Wiggle, wiggle, waggle, wiggle, waggle, waggle. Well, that thing was top heavy too. Did you ever see one of those go over? No.

I always wanted to see those. We saw one go over. It was awesome. That would have been expensive. It was everything you hoped for. It didn't break. Oh, really? That was the miracle Out of everything

Well they made TVs Big and thick Back in the day Didn't they Those CRTs Those big old Girthy CRTs From the fart-addled

ZM Think Tank This is the Top 6 I was trying to swallow That one But I couldn't COVID Not COVID Not COVID

Not COVID Good Today's Top 6 Are dealing with The Google searches I was trying to swallow that one, but I couldn't. COVID? Not COVID. Not COVID. Not COVID. Good. Today's top six are dealing with the Google searches of the year. The biggest Google. We're going to delve into all the categories a bit later in the show. I know, it's cool. There's so many categories. Overall searches, global figures, Kiwis loss, TV shows, movies, sports, financial terms,

COVID-19, non-COVID-19, when, actors, recipe, sweet, recipe, savory. Hmm. All these categories I've had a look through, and there are some glaring missing Google searches. Okay. And that is today's top six. The top six searches, I'm surprised, weren't in there in different categories. Number six, in the general Google, it's not in there.

How to spell Omicron. Omicron? Or how to say it? Omicron? It's Omicron. Omicron. Omicron. Omicron. Omicron? Omicron. That's the best word. Yeah, because initially everyone was saying Omni.

Omicron. Omicron. Omicron. Omicron. Omicron. Omicron. I liked how up on their high horse, everybody got two days after it was announced, you're saying it wrong. You stupid fool, you're saying it wrong. Number five on the list of the top six searches, I'm surprised weren't in their different categories.

There's one about loss that primarily deals with people who have passed. Okay. But I'm surprised in that loss category there wasn't a Google search for weight that I found over lockdown. I found it.

Now, how do I loss it? Yeah. I wouldn't. What did they say? What was that stat the other day of how many people in the world are obese?

Is it like 40% now or something? I think that's what I read. Would that be right? There's a map doing the rounds of the different countries and the different shades. And we're red,

meaning over 30% of the population. But to make New Zealand fit on the map nice and rectangular, they've moved us up just underneath Japan. We're in that big bit of the Pacific Ocean there. But still in the Ring of fire, so that's nice. Well, we'd kind of be in the middle of the ring of fire.

I actually think it would be wonderful for our climate. We'd be a tropical nation, that is for sure. Yeah, so 40% of all men and women, 2.2 billion people, this is from the World Health Organization, are now overweight or obese. So not obese, but overweight or obese. Okay. Is that still done on PMI?

Are we still getting a brioche? Hell yes. During the 8 o'clock news? Yes. Today could be our last day. Number four on the list of the top six searches, I'm surprised, weren't in their different categories. There's a Kiwis one about famous Kiwis.

Oh, okay. And not a single person, well, not enough people, Googled the goodnight Kiwi to get an answer, not enough people Googled the goodnight Kiwi to get an answer on where we're at with the goodnight Kiwi who went very quiet over lockdown.

And I'm just saying... Do you think he's anti-vax? Mm-hmm. Right, okay. I think the cat... It's a very old reference. The cat... The cat that was with him.

By the way, cats huge risk the Kiwis. I always thought that was an unusual pairing. That cat more likely to have tried to attack the Kiwi. To attack it, yeah, absolutely. And the Kiwi would have him. By the way, cats huge risk the Kiwis. I always thought that was an unusual pairing. That cat more likely to have tried to attack the Kiwi. To attack it, yeah, absolutely. And the Kiwi would have gone down, you know, gone down easy. They've got the claws and the beak.

They would have defended themselves against the TV cat. But no mention. And yeah, my theory is it's gone off the deep end and there's some conspiracies. Okay. Number three on the list of the top six searches, I'm surprised, aren't in their different categories. The category would be movies. It features some big list of the top six searches, I'm surprised, aren't in their different categories. The category would be movies.

It features some big movies of the year, but not a single mention of nude movies in there. Oh, okay. When do you see those? The little nude movies? They're not as long as a standard movie. I don't know. You can get like a condensed 12-minute version,

sometimes slightly longer, and apparently unedited more of an hour-long situation. Are you talking about an arts festival? Mm-hmm. Okay. An arts festival you can have at your home with the curtains pulled. Okay, right.

Number two on the list of the top six searches, I'm surprised, aren't in their different categories. There's a sports category. Yeah. And I'm sure enough people would have asked, but it's not there yet is Quidditch real? all these years after Harry Potter

still need to know if that's possible to play that at all and number one on the list of the top six searches I'm surprised aren't in their different categories there is a TV shows category given how much time has been spent at home watching TV and the 1pm press conference not in there

I mean it's on IMDB it should be It's been at home watching TV. And the 1pm press conference is not in there. No. I mean, it's on IMDB. It should be. Yeah. I mean, one of the main questions is what time is the 1pm press conference on? Well, sometimes they throw it at a four. Wait, that's after there's a cabinet meeting. Yeah.

Yeah, but you catch the last couple of minutes of Emmerdale. Yeah. Lots of stuff happening on Emmerdale, and then you get your 1pm press conference. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, it's that time of the year, baby. Sunscreens. Sunscreens that meet their claims,

and sunscreens that don't, and sunscreens that seem to just not care because this isn't their first year on the list. Now, looking through this news release, this news story. I'm straight on consumer. Are they? Oh, you're on consumer.

Have they released the full list, or do you have to sign up? Because. Are they? Oh, you're on consumer. Have they released the full list or do you have to sign up? Because I feel like... No, it's all there. Oh, okay. Oh, that's good. It's all there, baby.

So I was looking for a minute because I used my Nivea one in the big pump bottle. Six. That's a good one. Of the nine tested sunscreens met the SPF label claim and the requirements

of broad spectrum protection. Wait, they only tested nine? Of the nine big ones. That's a bit half-assed. Why don't you test them all? Is my Nivea one on there? That's in the past. It's always passed.

It's not in the ones that have passed. Okay. But the Cetaphil, that's specifically for kids. Okay. Havigny. That sounds expensive, doesn't it? It does, yeah. Or either that or you just can't say it. I, yeah. That sounds expensive, doesn't it? It does, yeah. Or either that or you just can't say it.

I love how some just sound expensive. You're like, no, that sounds expensive. Well, sometimes you look at what the bottle they come in and you're like, you're paying a lot for the bottle there. I use that, is it Neutrogena one for my face? Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Sunscreen Lotion. Is that good? Yep, that's made, that's passed, baby.

Yes. That's good news. The one I like, Skimmies. Skimmies? Skimmies. No, Skimmies. It looks like an M. No, it's Skimmies.

No, it's not. It's two Ns. No, it's not an N. Well, if it's got an N, they've got a big dip in the top of the N. No, you're right. It's Skimmies. It's met its claim. Oh, that's good.

I like that one because it's like you put it on and you don't have to keep rubbing it until the white disappears. Oh, yeah, because I used one the other day. I forget the brand of it. And it was like I'd put PVA glue on me. Yeah, or toothpaste. And then you couldn't get rid of it. Yeah, and you just keep rubbing. Yeah.

And then you just have to hide for a bit longer. And everyone was laughing at me and called me Voldemort. Oh. Because, like, yeah, it was quite rude. Well, that you did try to kill Harry Potter, though. In their defense, it's not just the sunscreen. In their defense, it's not just the sunscreen. So Cetaphil, that everything here,

Skinny's Reef Coconut Sunscreen, UV Guard Max Sunscreen, Neutrogena Ultra Sheer, which is what you use on your face. Now, what's that one that 80s mums use, LaTan 5? Is that on? My mum loves a little LaTan, and they start selling the LaTan below a 15. Christine Livid.

How my mum hasn't had skin cancer or a melanoma or beyond me. Really? Right. When she was a teenager Just before she got married Yeah She used to cover herself In actual baking oil And lie in the sun

With her friends Baking oil Yeah yeah Like I'm guessing Cooking oil Like canola Whatever cooking oil Not olive eh

That wasn't a thing No that wasn't too expensive Yeah right I'm surprised she didn't She didn't bloody Bake herself Right Cover herself in lard

Pam's vegetable oil Yeah Or something Cooking spray Yeah Get out there She probably shouldn't bloody bake herself. Right. Cover herself in lard. Pam's vegetable oil. Yeah. Or something. Cooking spray. Yeah. Get out there. And she wouldn't stick to the pan either, which is great news.

Yeah. But guess who failed again? Banana boat. Banana boat. Banana boat. Banana boat. Don't they every year have one that doesn't live up to the SPF claim? Yes. Because some of them don't fail completely.

They still have an SPF factor. But it's not what they're claiming. So Banana Boat Daily Protect Sunscreen Lotion claimed to be an SPF 50 plus. It got a result of 34.2. Right. And failed to meet the broad spectrum requirements as well. Last year, it didn't meet SPF 50. It got 40.4.

So it's actually six. It slipped a little, has it? Six SPFs down. Right. So yeah, it's just not meeting its claim. It's still got 34. Okay. So you're still getting SPF 30.

Yeah. But when you're paying that extra for what you think is a 50. Yeah. And banana boats shit. I'll say it. I've put it on my kids before and waited the time and they've had like a swim or something and got out and then like a little while later I'm like, you're reddening up quite a lot.

Yeah, right. Yeah. So you're not a fan. Only use it as stretch. Not a fan. Not a fan of the boat made of a banana. Well, you can check out Consumer for that list of the tests. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

Clay. ZM. Went to a retirement village last night Why? Straight up moving in that's why Right Nah not enough lawns I wonder if they'd let me mow the whole lawns No

Cause they're used to old mates like you that have to go to retirement homes Imagine if there was a schedule you move into your retirement village And there's a schedule of old mates who want to mow the lawns Trevor it's not your Tuesday. Get out of it, you son of a bitch. And then they're all having a go at each other

about how bad the lawn is. Yeah, they're not doing it right. Oh, you can tell it was Russell's week on the lawns. The past palum's out of control. Have you put Ian and Christine

in a home? No, but I sent them a photo. They were like, that's cool. It's not like a, it was like a village. Like you buy the house

and it's just like there's social, like everybody else is retired and there's social stuff. Why were you there? August's class was singing songs for the people who lived there. Outside of school time? Yeah. Well, I don't know if I'd sign up for that. Can they make you do that?

So we're sitting there last night and I said to Shada, I was like What happens With like Because lots of people were there Yeah All of the people that lived there Came down to watch Right The retired people

Came down to watch I was like What happens when someone grumpy Like Fletch moves in here And I'll be like Keep it down Yeah And Shade's like

See I think there's a There'd be a couple of old mates Who haven't come in They're like Nah bugger that I'm gonna sit and watch the I've got the chase I'll watch the chase

yeah and yeah I said oh do you reckon they'd just stay in their room yeah and they wouldn't put up Christmas decorations

so then we created a whole story about you living in a retirement village and how you were like grumpy I'd bloody hate it yeah I'd bloody hate it so is it like

that TV show where they get the young kids to go yeah it's Robesado School it's cool they go School. It's cool. They go across and like not so much with COVID but before COVID and like when, you know, we were COVID free and stuff.

They'd do stuff with the people and the old people would tell them stories and they'd bring a bit of youthful vigor. Yep. So August's class sung some songs. That was pretty cool. So Christmas carols. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah, Christmas carols. Yep. Right. Did they do any Nicki Minaj? No Nicki Minaj. No, they're Starships but they ran out of time. I mean, no your audience but yeah sure. August did say before we went down there, she's like, I'm thinking of doing, because

there was this part where one of the songs they did have a dance breakdown. Yeah. Where you could do whatever dance you wanted. Oh, okay. And before she went, she's like, now is this appropriate? A twerk? And did like a twerk. I was like, no, no, definitely not. Give it a miss, mate.

Just spin around on the spot or something, I reckon. Yeah. But then after they sung, the other, the cutest performance of the night was the people that lived there started a ukulele band. Oh, okay. And they sung a whole lot of lived there started a ukulele band. Oh, okay. And they sung a whole lot of songs and played their ukuleles. And it was just cute because apparently

none of them had ever played ukuleles before. Oh, did it sound terrible? No, it was cute as. Okay. I mean, it was no, what was the Wellington ukulele orchestra?

Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. That thing was tight. But these guys hadn't been able to have group rehearsals and stuff because of lockdown. It's just strumming is it? On ukuleles

But it's no They keep changing Do they? They're changing chords and stuff Right okay Yeah they learnt the chords They had their little song books out It was very very cute

But in between A ladies choir sung Yep And they were amazing Right But there was one who got Like she got carried away And we still don't know

where, can I ask someone? Shadow and I like, lost our minds. Yeah. There was a part where the music was playing

but obviously no lyrics. Yeah. I think it was like a Beatles song but it was a bit of an artistic interpretation and the lady on the end went,

Scooby-Doo-Bop-Bop Dee-Dop Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Dee-Dee-Dop Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo Oh, that's not in the script. And all of the girls in the choir looked at her, and I just was like.

And I could feel myself beginning to lose it. And I looked at Sade, and she is just like also in the same place. And I just got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. Because Camel Sue on the end had absolutely just been vibing the moment and all power to her just decided to scat. Yeah, yeah. And the instrumental breakdown, she just threw out a loud.

But everyone else in the choir was looking like, oh, this is not what we. They were like swaying side to side and then all just like, what? And I was just, I got the giggles and I could not stop. Was everybody looking at you? No, because everyone was just like blown away by the freestyle. Right. Jazz scat would all just go.

Okay, right. And I was like. And they were singing, so it was kind of muffling it. But Sharno's like, stop, stop. People will think you're coughing. I was like, what do I do? Covering my face. I couldn't stop laughing, so I had to step back for a few moments.

Right. But every time I thought about it, it made me laugh. But that's what makes the giggles uncontrollable, is that you also know you shouldn't be laughing. I know. And it just... I mean, at least it wasn't a funeral, right? Nobody gets the giggles at a funeral.

Um, I haven't, but I can't say it hasn't ever happened. Some funerals are cool, like that big celebration of life and it might be like a real goofy picture and maybe your emotions are high and the old brain might get confused between what you're

supposed to be doing. So I was wondering this morning on 0800.M you can text 9696. When did you get the giggles and how inappropriate was it that you were giggling

at that moment? You just could not stop. And that's the problem. When you break, it takes a long time. It's gone. And you might not have even known,

like you might have just been sitting somewhere And not knowing the seriousness Or the formal setting you were in Yeah And just full blown giggle attack ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan Well we're talking about when you got the giggles

In an inappropriate time You got the giggles last At a Christmas thing last night It was singing And someone just went freestyle scat jazz And I just I loved it so much. In the middle of a choir,

that would have sounded quite different. Yeah, it did. It was a real standout performance. So much to expect. We want to talk about when you got the giggles and you said, surely not at a funeral. Wow, was I wrong, right? You were wrong. You were wrong. At my mum's. Oh, is that who we've got on the phone?

No. Oh, maybe. I don't know. Did we get the one At my mum's. Oh, is that who we've got on the phone? No. Oh, maybe. I don't know. Did we get the one about the mums? Okay. At my mum's funeral, as we were putting her in the ground, my two nephews, who were two at the time, jumped on top and said, we're writing Nana down. I'd lose my mind.

That's so good. I wish I'd seen it Every time he wishes I'd seen that Just two kids What a great amount of Woo Cause you know when you're a kid

The idea of riding anything Is a good time Yeah yeah Supermarket trolleys Conveyor belts Like If it even slightly Resembles a flying fox

You wanna see How it goes Wheelbarrow rides Casket into the ground rides Hello I can ride this thing down and then I'll reach my arms up and dad can pull me out. That's good stuff.

That's amazing. Another funeral one. I got the giggles at my sister's funeral reception. They played another one, Bites the Dust. She would have found it hilarious. She had that kind of sense of humour,

but we all got the giggles. Was it intentional playing that song? It must have been. I sense of humour, but we all got the giggles. Was it intentional playing that song? It must have been. I don't know, maybe. I got the giggles just yesterday when I was getting my lady parts lasered. Oh, okay. Whenever I'm in pain, I can't help but laugh. And the therapist was like, what the hell is she on about?

And I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Because, I mean, that hurts at the best of time The old laser Yeah I know But They obviously found it funny My brother and I got the giggles

At our nana's funeral During the reflection song Because it was that song That Will Ferrell sings At the Catalina Wine Mixer In Step Brothers And all we could think about We looked at each other

At the same time and said It's the mother effing Catalina Wynne, Nixa. Ellen, when did you get the giggles? So we were at my great-auntie's husband's funeral. And for a bit of context, this was her fourth husband. She had met in the retirement village and buried. Oh my God. Wow.

She was a black widow. She really was. We were going through the photos, you know, when they play the big video montage, and his whole family was crying. Yeah. And then there was this photo of him jumping out of a plane, like airplane skydiving. And my mum made a comment that he looked like he'd already died. His skin was drying everywhere.

And the whole pew proceeded to shake from my family laughing. We got dirty looks from his whole family. They were not impressed by us. Well, they already think your Nana's going through these dudes, just killing them. They're all serious. Have a bit of fun. Wow.

I know. All right. Alan, thanks. You call some more messages in. Somebody said, I was in the middle of church. It was Christmas And I may have patuk In the Lord's sacred herb

Oh okay Oregano Though yes Of course that was one of the three gifts From the wise men Before we went And something the priest said Just cracked me up

And I couldn't stop laughing And my mum was just like You get out of here And I removed myself from the church and I haven't been back since. Mid-adult fun times. Oh, okay. I farted and then got the giggles. And he didn't know why I was laughing until I said,

I'm laughing because I farted and it totally killed the mood. At my great nana's funeral Right at the front Couldn't stop laughing My cousin joined in All the aunties were scowling at us Nothing was funny It was just knowing we shouldn't laugh Made us laugh

And then like You know what it's like When you get with your cousins Yeah It gets a little bit out of hand And yeah We laughed My uncle's married to this nasty

Great start to this text This nasty Westy Mullet bitch Seriously Tell us what you really think I get to describe someone as that Sometimes

Sometimes in my life And when my granddad died She sang this nasty As song in his funeral And my sister and I Just absolutely lost our minds. Tears were rolling down our face. I slipped off my chair because I was laughing.

People thought I was so overtaken by grief, but we were just overtaken by the fact that the singing was so, so terrible. And then that text finishes with stupid mullet head. There is so many good. Thank you very much for your messages. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Well, 2022's not that far away.

Eminent. Eight, 31 days, 22, and then one more, 23 days? 23 days until January. Left in 2021. Great. Guys, just like last year when we said, man, 2020's bad, 2021's gotta be better. Man, 2021 was bad, how about 2022's

gotta be better? Fingers crossed. So, I'm surprised you hadn't scurried this up. It's usually around November you start... Well, I'm looking at next year, like you just alluded to, I'm managing expectations for 2022.

Gotcha. I've got friends that are, you know, they're like, we're going to Europe next year. They're like, we're going to go to Fiji or something. I'm like, are you? Like, I'd love to. Don't get me wrong. I want to be optimistic. Yeah.

But I'm just, I'm not getting too excited. You could go to a European deli. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, some meats and stuff. But I don't know about Europe, but could go to a European deli. Absolutely, yeah. Get some, you know, some meats and stuff. But I don't know about Europe, but we'll see. We'll see. We'll see.

But yeah, there is a chance for you next year to get a bit of bang for your buck. Holidays wise. Yeah, so if you're on a, this works if you're on, you know, your usual standard fixed term employment contract, right? You get your annual leave days. Correct. So next year, it is a Sunday, Waitangi Day,

falls on a Sunday, which means it will be Monday eyes, meaning the 7th is a day off. So if you take the 4th, you get a day free at the other end, you get a four-day weekend for the price of one day. That's good. One day annual leave. And Easter next year is the big one. That's the one, and it coincides with Anzac Day.

When this happens. Correct. This is where we get lots of holidays. Eight annual leave days. We'll see you get 17 days off. So what day is Easter next year? It's obviously April. April the,

I believe. Well, it must be the. 19th is the end of Easter So Good Friday is the 15th Okay So if you take that from there off And then take that week in the middle

19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd And then you've got Anzac Day on the 25th That gets you a heap of days That's a long time off And then you've got the 25th off So if you jam heap of days. That's a long time off. And then you've got the 25th off, so if you jam four more days on, I mean, you can get two and a bit weeks off there. And you're using hardly any leave days.

Yeah, eight annual leave days will get you 17 days off if you make the most of that week between and then the week after as well because it's a short week. Well, and that's when Rhythm and Vines has been rescheduled too as well. Yes. And then Queen's Birthday, if you want to take a four-day weekend for the price of one day, on the 3rd of June, take the Friday.

Okay, so Queen's Birthday is the Monday. Yeah, and then you get the Monday off. So that's a four-day weekend. Matariki joins the hooray. And that's what, end of June or so? End of June. Yeah, it changes. But next year is the end of June.

So take the 27th. That's my birthday weekend. So your birthday's the 23rd and then Matariki's the Friday. Oh, it's like Cindy knew. She definitely knew. Yeah, she went back in time to, you know, the establishing days of multicultural. It was like, hey, guys.

See that star? That one. That one. That one. Celebrate that. That's going to be Fletch's birthday. And then she jumps back in the time machine. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom.

Comes back. She's like, oh, we're going to make it a holiday. First time, 24th of June. I don't know. I don't know why. You're welcome. Just because it's somebody I like's birthday the day before. This is great.

And then, of course, we miss out on July, August, September, and then October on the 21st. If you take the 21st, you can turn it into a four-day weekend around Labor Day. But if you're in Hawke's Bay, you don't need to because it's their anniversary. Or just take another day and make it a five-day weekend. Yeah. Or just say you've got family in Hawke's Bay

and it's for religious reasons you'll be taking that day. Sure. I think that works with employers all the time. Oh, famously. Famously. Very understanding.

And the good news with all of those holidays and the Matariki, that's an extra long weekend group toot next year, isn't it? A lot of long weekend group toots coming up

in 2022. The 12 Days of Fletchmas. Well, the 12 Days of Fletchmas, you can register to play. We've got amazing prizes under the Christmas tree in the studio. And every day, we talk to somebody from the naughty list, somebody from the nice list. And I have to pick who wins the present. Who's on the nice list?

Crystal, good morning. Morning, how are we? Good, you're on the nice list. Yes, I am on the nice list. Now, what have you done this year that puts you on the nice list? Well, so I bought this lovely pounamu online and

you know how you get a whole bunch of items online and they split the package and send it to you. Yes. So I got the necklace first. Yeah. And then they sent the rest of it, but they accidentally put another Pounamu necklace in there.

And that would have been quite expensive, wouldn't it? Yes, very expensive. Okay. So instead of being greedy and things like that, I considered, you know, it's been COVID, it's a New Zealand company, and also it's Christmas. So, you know, no one wants to ruin anyone's day. I decided to contact them and say,

hey, I think you've done a whoopsie. And they came and picked it up. I'm very grateful that I told them about it. That is lovely. That is good. Because that time that booze company sent me six extra bottles of very expensive gin, I kept them. I kept them all.

But they were a giant conglomerate. Yeah, giant multinational company. And alcohol's not good for you. So you were actually doing everybody a favor by taking that out of circulation. Yeah, exactly. I had that dream I had that time about how you bought meth just so it wouldn't fall into the hands of the youth. I'm a charity man. Yeah.

I'll give you, it was a weird dream. Crystal, that is lovely. I would do the same for a New Zealand company for something so expensive. Good, that is on you. Very lovely person. Okay. All right. Well, that is on you. Very lovely person. Okay, all right. Well, wait there, Crystal.

Ho, ho, ho! Who's on the naughty list? Zorana, good morning. Good morning. Did I say your name right, or is it Zorana? Yeah, Zorana. Zorana, Zorana. I've never encountered that name before.

You sound like a wizard, like a naughty wizard. A naughty wizard. That's why you're on the naughty list. Serana, what have you done to be on the naughty list? You naughty little wizard. Okay, okay. Can I ask you, though, would you have returned the necklace? I don't know.

I was thinking about it. I'm like. Okay, there's a reason. Mistakes that make you a more powerful business You stop making them, you stop making mistakes You stop making profits So what have you done? Okay, so I'm

Only 17 weeks pregnant And sometimes when I go to the supermarket With my 20 months old I Pretend like I'm more Pregnant than I am So what I do is I stick my belly out And when I'm told I pretend like I'm more pregnant than I am. So what I do is I stick my belly out.

And when I'm walking to the cash register with the trolley and the baby, people usually just look at me and be like, oh, my gosh, she's really pregnant. And they just offer for me to just cut the queue. And I decline. I decline politely first time around. But then when they insist, I mean, I have no choice, right? Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh. So I just go. Oh. No, I'll wait back here. I'll wait back. Oh, I'll wait back. Oh. Oh.

So yeah, it works. I know it's not a great thing, but yeah. I mean, I have so many things to do when I get home, so I just really can't, yeah. Do you look around when you're loading into the boot as well? You just look around for someone? No, no, I don't. Okay.

No, no, no. Pick things up, carry them for you. I mean, that's fair enough to use that to your advantage, but perhaps a little bit naughty to be skipping a cue at this time. Yeah, all right, well. It really is every day. It's such a hard dilemma. It's hard, yeah.

Do you think it's hard, too? Would you have trouble picking this? Yeah. I pretty go nice most of the time, but that's because this is why you're in charge. This is why you're, yeah. Because pretty go with nice most of the time, but that's because I'm, this is why you're in charge. This is why you're, yeah. Because you're not traditional Christmas. He's just contemplating now we're watching him.

He's thinking he's looking at the screen with the names on it. I do, because I do like cutting in line, and I would use that to my advantage. Yeah. Eyes darting up and down between the two names. I've got the cast already. I don't know today. It's very even for me

because it was such a nice thing to do for the Kiwi company, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. And then if you imagine you wouldn't have done the same thing or you would have. No, I don't know. I'm going to go with today, Crystal.

The nice story today. I'm going to go with today, Crystal, the nice. The nice story today. I'm going to go with you, Crystal. Yay. I mean, so Rhonda, I would use that to my advantage too. But she already skipped a cue. She's already winning. She's already getting the.

Yeah, yeah. Whereas you've returned something. Yeah. Okay, well, Crystal, we're opening a present here for you. Ooh, you've won. You've won. I've seen these. I've seen these.

Nanoleaf Triangle Starter Kit. Now, these are like flat lights, LED light panels. Oh, these are... And you can buy more of them and link them up. Like smart lights. Pick what shape they go in. These are all over TikTok. Yeah, all over it.

Nanoleaf Shapes. Ooh, that's exciting. Smart modular light panels to brighten up your home. There you go. It can be even more perfect to make the room more Christmassy as well. Oh, yeah. We love that. Touch them.

They connect to, like, Apple Home or whatever you use around the house. That's right. And if we accidentally send you two, don't tell us. Okay. You take them. Mum's the word. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan Play ZM

It's Polly Moly Moly Moly Moly Polly Moly Moly Moly Come on And today Polly Moly A bunch of polls We're delving into Using the phone Yeah

For it's original purpose A study has found that 85% of Gen Zers don't view phone calls as being an important function of their phone. Wow. And 75% of millennials avoid phone calls if they can. And you'd imagine voicemails, right, would be low on the list. So I don't even leave a voicemail. I don't. Until, actually, until Spark. I don't know leave a voicemail. I don't, until,

actually, until Spark, I don't know if people know this, but Spark had this amazing app and it transcribes. Yeah, and then sends you a text. Yeah,

so it's in the app and you can delete it, play the voicemail. Until Spark had that, I ignored voicemail. Yeah. I had a lot. Yesterday,

Sade said, oh, I've got this voicemail, listen to this, I can't understand what they're saying. And I was like, Yesterday, Shade said, oh, I've got this voicemail. Listen to this. I can't understand what they're saying. And I was like, okay. So I told her, I think it's like, you've got 49 saved messages. I was like, do I have to sit through 49 saved messages?

She said, no, there's a quicker way of doing it in that app. Yeah. Had it in that app. Very helpful. So we wanted to know from you if you dodge phone calls. Yeah. And we've asked a heap of questions. Bunch of questions about phones, basically.

How many phone calls do you make a week, we asked. Oh, you see, I still make calls. But not as many. How many would you make a week? Not many. More than 10? I'd be like maybe four or five. Okay, so four or five was about sort of the average.

Okay. Well, just over five was about sort of the average. Between, well, just over five was the average of the people we asked. 13,500 people answered this. I mean, that's more than, we should bloody print these, isn't it? It's more than Carl Myer Brunton, isn't it? Yeah, way more, way more so. More than a One News Media leadership poll. Yeah, take that. So we asked

and people said, yeah, just about, just over five. Okay, that's the average. Five calls made a week. Do you answer a call if you don't recognise the number? What do you reckon, percentage-wise? I reckon it's going to be like 70% or 80% don't.

54% of people won't answer a call if they don't recognise the number. 46% will. Again, curiosity factor. I know. So many times I always regret it. Yeah. Because I'm like, I don't, it's like 04 and I'm like, I don't know anyone in Wellington. 04.

That would ring me. Or like, it's like an 03 and I'm like, who would be calling me from the South Island? Executive intern Arne has just said she will call sometimes, call people back to give them prizes and they won't answer because it's an unknown number. So you're saying I should answer the phone because it could be a radio station giving me a prize. If it's 040s in Wellington,

it might be the government saying, hey, congratulations, you don't have to pay tax next year. We've selected you to be one of our tax-free recipients for 2022. I didn't know the government did it. They're trying it out next year. Right, okay.

Five people. If you paid all your tax this year, you're in the draw to win a tax-free year. Now, all I'm going to need is your bank account. Okay. We'll just put it on Australia in your credit card. So if you've got your credit card details, name, expiry. Do you need the three-digit number as well? I don't think so, but just in case.

Okay, sure. I don't think so, but just in case. We also asked, do you leave a voicemail if someone doesn't pick up your call? A resounding 76% of people said, absolutely not. Yeah, it's horrible. I will not leave a voicemail. However, still a quarter of the people, 24% do. Like, do you phone with voicemails?

Like, we talk on the radio every day. It's our job. But then the beep happens and you're just like, it's me. Hi. Yeah. Oh, I talk way too much. It's like, leave a message after the beep. G'day, mate.

It's Vaughan Smith here. I'm just calling. Explain the entire situation. I was born in the rural Waihau town in Warrensville. Matta, Matta. It's 1982, February 20. Where I lived until I was 19 years old. Shadows often like, you just, with a voicemail,

just say, hey, give me a call back. Here's my number. You're giving the whole story. I'm like, I need, with a voicemail, just say, hey, give me a call back, here's my number. You don't give them the whole story. I'm like, they need to be prepped for the return call. Do you prefer to call someone

or text them or message them? Send them a message. A message, right? That would win. Or call someone. Yep, 77% of people said they would rather

message. They would rather send a message than make a call. And a final question. We found this, because we got so many spicy responses, we thought we'd take some calls on this one as well. This was like we got deluged. Yeah.

Have you ever missed an important call because you didn't recognize the number? So someone's calling. You're like, I'm not answering that because I don't know the number. And you either miss out on something or it's like bad news and they're trying to get a hold of you. You could be someone's next of kin or an emergency contact and they need to talk to you, please. Oh yeah, never thought about it

because you can set that on your phone, have your emergency so that an ambulance guy can pick up your phone and just be like, we're taking them to this hospital at this time. Who's yours? I don't have that set up. Do you know what's weird? I went into my phone settings the other day, Sade, and then Ross. Ross Boss. Why wouldn't I be above Ross Boss? I don't have that set up. Do you know what's weird? I went into my phone settings the other day, shard A, and then Ross.

Ross Boss. Why wouldn't I be above Ross Boss? I don't know. He doesn't pick up his phone. I know, I don't know. I don't even remember setting him as anything. Well, I demand to be above Ross. He's at the absolute bottom of my favourites on the dialing part as well.

Okay. He's like a reserve favourite. Yeah, right, okay. So we want to... I'll change it. We want to open up the phone lines. It's like a reserve thing. Yeah, right. Okay. So we want to... I'll change it. We want to open up the phone lines. 0800 dials at M. You can text 9696.

What important phone call did you miss because you didn't recognise the number? Yeah, or you don't answer calls. Or you don't answer calls. All right. Ironically, give us a call to tell us about that.

We will see your number. We'll answer regardless. Absolutely. We're just solicited. We'll answer regardless. Absolutely. We're just solicited for it. So we want to know from you this morning when you missed an important phone call because you didn't recognise the number and you didn't answer it. Like this isn't

just missing a call, is it? Like you come back to your phone and you've missed a call. This is the calls there on your display. Yeah, you see it and you have to wait for them to stop calling so you can get back to scrolling through Instagram because if you divert them, they'll know they've been diverted because they didn't ring enough times before voicem display. Yeah, you see it and you have to wait for them to stop calling so you can get back to scrolling through Instagram because if you divert them, they'll know they've been diverted because they didn't ring enough times before voicemail. Yeah. We've got some responses on

Instagram. Unsolicited people just let us know. Lucy, I worked at Bunnings and they were calling me to offer me a spot on the Bunnings TV ad but I ignored it because I didn't recognise the store number. My chance at fame is now gone forever. You could have been like, oh I'm Lucy recognise the store number. My chance at fame is now gone forever. You could have been like,

I'm Lucy and the barbecues here are really shiny and great for Christmas and barbecues at the back with your family. Yeah, that could have been you, Lucy. Could have been you. Now you'll never be Barbecue Lucy because you're going to get a nickname from all your friends if you're ever on a Bunnings ad. Also, we used to work with someone here who, before they worked here Worked at Bunnings

And they got to do that Yeah And they didn't get Any extra money No they didn't get paid They didn't get a voucher Just get ripped By all their friends

Yeah they had to go in On their day off to film it Yeah I mean But Lucy would have been Barbecue Lucy At least get a free barbecue Yeah yeah yeah

You'd expect they'd give you A free barbecue Yeah Lisa Or imagine going to the Bunnings Doing your bit for the barbecues, and then it never makes the cut. Oh.

Ouch. Yeah. Lisa, when did you miss a really important phone call because you didn't know the number? My daughter won bonus bonds, and it took them three weeks to get hold of me. How much... To tell me.

If they're ringing, how much did you win? $100,000. Holy shit! And you're just like, ah, I don't know that number. Not answering. Yeah, avoided that one for a long time. She cried when she finally got hold of me. She was so excited.

Oh, the lady from Bonus Bonds cried. Yeah. This is a lady from ANZ, and I've never given away that much money, and she was so excited that I finally answered the phone. Oh, wow. So, because I saw a news story this morning about bonus bonds, and I've just Googled, because they wound up bonus bonds. Yeah, they did.

And growing up, grandparents would always get you bonus bonds. Yeah. That was like a thing. And apparently, 800 million bonus bonds need to be homed because that's how many people they haven't been able to get in touch with or haven't claimed or withdrawn them. We should just chuck that. Like give them to a date and then if not,

we should just chuck it on the country's debt, I reckon. Just pay off for that. 800, like there's people out there that have forgotten about money. Yeah. That's crazy. And it must be a lot of them. Yeah. So I don't know what you do. Get in touch with them. Gives about money. Yeah. That's crazy. And it must be a lot of them. Yeah. So I don't know what you do. Get in touch with them.

Gives them money. Yeah. Okay. Hmm. Other people that have missed important phone calls because they didn't recognize the number? My now boss called me to offer me a job and I wasn't going to pick up because the number looked like it was the dentist. The only reason I did answer is because my mum

was in the same room and said, no, you should really go to the dentist. And when I answered the phone, I sounded really grumpy when I said hello because I didn't want to go to the dentist. But then, like, you got a job. Because I'm ignoring, because I did that thing where I accidentally answered a number I didn't know, and it was, like, KiwiSaver or someone trying to sell me something. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, no, no, not now. And he's like, when can I call you back? And I was like, next week, afternoons. And now every afternoon I get this 04 number and I just hang up on it. Okay, that's not. I didn't deal with that right. No, you didn't. Don't call, not interested.

Yeah. Somebody said my ex and I were the original winners of the trip to Dubai you guys did a few years ago. I didn't answer my phone because it was on silent. And then I didn't recognize the number, so I didn't answer it. And they tried again and I didn't answer it. And then your producer, Caitlin, your old producer, tried to call me for a third time off her personal phone

and I didn't answer it because I didn't know the number. So after a lot of searching, oh, this was in the good old days where you could take a number to Facebook and search and it would tell you who was calling you on Facebook. They disabled that. I mean, of all the things they disabled that seems like

well down the list like I don't know all the racist stuff and misinformation that would have probably been slightly higher on my list but no they don't want us

to know who was trying to call us and I searched her number but by the time I called back it was too late you guys had to give it to somebody else

because you needed to like start booking all the classic ass can we move on to the next? I mean, not like we didn't try. We tried and then she tried out her own personal number. Oh, and I tell you what, I'm getting all the memories from that trip because that was seven years ago

that we did the show from Dubai. Six years ago. Six or seven. Great times. You really missed out there. Matt, what did you miss out on because you didn't know the number? Well, I didn't miss out completely, but I didn't answer the first time. And then I saw the phone go again, so I answered it, and I'd won a trip to Coachella for two. Oh, wow.

But the first time you were like, no, don't know this number. Yeah, I mean, I was at work, and I thought, I'm not answering that. I don't know who it is. And, yeah, so it rang again a little bit later, so'm not answering that. I don't know who it is. And yeah, so it rang again a little bit later. So I thought, well, let's just see who it is. And yeah, I went on a trip for two to Coachella. Oh, lucky you aren't. Otherwise you would have had the story from the Dubai winner

before you mucked around too long and then moved to somebody else. Matt, thanks for your call. Anonymous, what important phone call did you miss out on because you didn't know the number? I almost missed out on adopting my second child because I dodged a phone call from sis. Oh, wow. They were like, we've got another one for you.

Yeah. You were like, yeah. Yeah, they don't tell you that a baby has been born until it's, or they don't tell you there's a baby for you until it's actually been born. And we had been waiting for quite a few years. So I thought they were just calling to tell me that our profile was about to expire and that we needed to renew. So I was like, meh.

We'd kind of talked about it and been like, oh, it hasn't happened yet. So, you know, we'll just let it expire. So when I got the voice message, I was like, eh, they'll call back if it's important. And then a few days later, I got a panicked call from the caseworker, like, why didn't you call me back? There's this baby sitting here for you. The baby's just sitting there like, wah. And the caseworker's like, I don't know, baby.

She won't answer the phone, baby. Amazing. Anonymous sex for your call. Some more messages in. Lots of messages of people who are just like, no, I'm not answering that. See, all these stories make me want to pick up these calls, but they never end like this, do they?

I'm not answering the phone winning a trip to Coachella. I miss calls. I didn't answer it. It was my dad when he was in prison because the calls came up from, I don't know a number. I'm like, I'm not answering that. I don't know who that is. And that was dad in prison.

When someone calls you from a New Zealand prison, does it do that thing on American TV shows where it's like, I'm not answering that. I don't know who that is. And that was dad in prison. When someone calls you from a New Zealand prison, does it do that thing on American TV shows where it's like, you are getting a call from an inmate at... Yeah. Parama-rama. And then you're like, do you accept? Do you accept? And you're like, yes.

You're like, which one of my family is it? Yeah. Who is it? Tell me their names before I accept the call. It's Philip. Not answering. Tell him no before I accept the call. It's Philip. Not answering. Tell him no. I can hear you.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. I missed at this weekend just gone. I missed Nana's St. John's alert bracelet. She pressed the life alert button. No. I didn't know the number and I was a little bit lit. They were a little bit lit. But shouldn't Nana's St. John's bracelet go to St. John's?

Maybe it rings both. Oh, okay, yeah. to St. John's? Maybe it rings both. Rings St. John's but also lets you know. You pick it up, it's probably like, hello, Nana has had a fall. I'm not shitting you. Does it actually say that? Yeah, it might be a pre-recorded message. Well, how does it know what's happened to Nana?

Gyroscopes. Gyroscopes, all right. And the St. John's bracelet. Wow, okay. And you press it and it rings everybody. Nana has had a fall or smacked a child for being naughty.

That's the same action. I could imagine when your kids abandon you on a rest time, you'd just press it for attention. 100%. Just wanted somebody to talk to. Yeah, I'll be like,

I've fallen over! And then the neighbour will come in and I'll be like, I got up, but now that you're here, what's happening? Oh, she's lonely, what's happening? Oh, she's lonely.

She's lonely? Yeah. Who knows? Who knows what's around the corner? All right, Fact of the Day is next. Dua Lipa on ZM825. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Fact of the Day, day, day, day, day. Here's that starter bag.

Do you reckon I could pull this off? No. My friend got a starter bag. No. Because he was a kid in the 90s as well. His parents told him we didn't have money for that sort of frivolent nonsense when everybody wanted starter jackets. Yeah. And then he bought starter bag. No. Because he was a kid in the 90s as well whose parents told him we didn't have money for that sort of frivolent nonsense when everybody wanted

starter jackets. Yeah. And then he bought this bag and I was just like, I love your bag. He's like, yeah, my parents would never

have bought me this and I was like, me neither. And then I may have found the bag, the starter bag. No. You're saying it's ugly.

That's hideous. It's not you. I agree to disagree. It's not you. I'll talk to you after I get my Russell Athletics hoodie. Okay, sure.

No, today's Fact of the Day is not about starter bags, even though that is a pretty cool bag. Today's Fact of the Day is about, and I don't even know if I'm saying this right, Angostura bitters. You know Angostura bitters? If you have a lemon-limon bitters, maybe a little bit of vodka.

And you put a couple of drops, Angostura. Yeah, I think that's how it's said. Angostura. Oh, I've got a British pronunciation here. Angostura. Angostura. I'm going to click slow so she sees it slower.

Angostura. Angostura. And they've always got that paper label that goes too high up the bottle That's what I'm talking about That's today's fact of the day And it's got the yellow cap It's 30 bucks a bottle

Yeah it's a little thing And you just cut the splashes Yeah And it's alcohol right It's quite a lot of alcohol It's a very closely guarded secret Because I've got I've learnt other facts About Angostura bitters.

Because lemon lime bitters with vodka or without, delicious. Delicious, refreshing. Allegedly, only five people in the entire world know the exact combination of herbs and spices that go into a bottle of Angostura bitters. Okay. They never fly together. It's your classic old secret recipe. They never fly together, et cetera. Okay.

Some people use it as a cooking ingredient. I'm just going to go through some other things until I hit you with today's main fact about Angostura bitters. Yep. There's an old cookbook for people who use it every, in little bits and pieces. Okay. Pies, turkey.

In Wisconsin, it's just a big drink. Some people will do just Angostura, just the bitters. Wow, okay. It'll be tangy. And originally, it was a recipe developed for upset stomachs. Oh, okay. Yes, 1824. Johann Sigert, the Surgeon General for the Venezuelan military leader,

Simon Bolivar, developed it as a stomach tonic to make your stomach feel better. But here is today's fact of the day about Angostura bitters. And you said the label's too big. The label, and it's annoyingly too big. Why? Well. Is it dribbles to stop dribbles?

No. Oh. It's a big mistake. It was a big mistake. Right. Two brothers launched it. Yep. One was in charge of big mistake. It was a big mistake. Right. Two brothers launched it. Yeah. One was in charge of the bottle.

One was in charge of the label. Yeah. The guy in charge of the bottle changed the bottle without telling the brother who was in charge of the labels. He printed off a whole lot of labels. He got all the bottles. Yeah. And he's like, wait a minute, this isn't the same bottle.

And the guy's like, we've got no time. They were entering a competition. Oh, yeah. Okay. For it to be recognized as a great drink. So they were like, well, there's no time. So they stuck all the labels on that were too big for the bottle. Yeah. And you know, the iconic yellow lid of the bitters and they entered the competition. They didn't win, but a judge said, I really liked the signature label look.

It made it stand out as a product. And they're like, what are you talking about? It's like, you know how your label's got like, it's too long and it's got like. Yeah, like a turtleneck. Yeah, like a turtleneck on. It really made it stand out from the crowd with the yellow lid and the label that was too big.

And they were like, oh, really? He's like, what? And they're like, oh, it's kind of a mistake. And the judge is like, I reckon keep it. Wow. And then it makes it stand out. It's your signature look. And so they did.

And now that's why the Angostura bitters for lemon-lime bitters. You'll see this hanging around different places. You always see it behind the bar, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's on purpose. Well, it was a mistake that became a signature

look so now the label is made too big entirely on purpose so today's fact of the day is that label's meant to look that way after a big old balls up because brothers weren't communicating with each other fact of the day day day day day Tay, Tay, Tay. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The top lists, top movies, top Google trends, top, they're all out this time of the year, which is fantastic for media companies. Oh, yeah, who are just dialing it in the last... Yeah, absolutely.

What? Well, Tinder. Not dialing it in. There's much passion. So much passion. As you would something in April. Absolutely. You bet.

Yeah. Well, Tinder have released a whole bunch of stats from the year. And one in particular, the mentions of the word vaxxed in bios. Uh-huh. How did they spell vaxxed? V-A-X-X-X-E-D. Yeah. Gotcha.

That grew in bios in the US three times. And then, of course, they rolled out the badges where you could actually put that on your profile. But I remember we talked, because America, you had a choice of vaccines, didn't you?

And people would be like, I'm Pfizer or I'm Moderna. Moderna. AstraZeneca. Yep. Emojis. Emojis in bios. The top emojis.

The number one emoji, the eyes, the side eyes. What does that mean? Maybe like looking for, and then you'd put what you're looking for. Oh, okay. Maybe, I don't know.

The eyes and then like love. Looking for love. The most popular emoji of the year from, do you remember we talked about this the other day, from the actual emoji people. Laughy face with the tears. Yeah, that's the second most. Unicode.

Unicode. That's the second most popular emoji in a Tinder bio followed by guy with arms up shrugging his shoulders. He's shrugging. A winky face. A black flag. Like a, what winky face. A black flag. Like a, what's that? Like a black flag.

I guess a red flag is the term. Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. What? The black flag emoji. Followed by the ghost. Obviously when people are putting their Snapchat in their bio.

And then the peace sign, camera and stars. Those are the most popular emojis used in people's Tinder bios. The most popular TV shows that people mentioned on Tinder. Too Hot to Handle was five. I'm a Celeb, Get Me Out of Here, four. Bridgerton, three. And Line of Duty, Love Island, number one. I'm guessing this is from UK bios.

Right. Because, yeah, Line of Duty is a great show, but you're one of the biggest shows in the UK, so is Love Island. The top 10 interests in people's bios. Sports was 10. Dog lover. I mean, you could just probably put all of these in your bio, right?

Totally. If these are working for everybody else. Working out, number eight. Seven pubs. Six movies. Five nightlife. Four Netflix. Grab a drink, three. And travel, number two. And music, number eight. Seven, Pubs. Six, Movies. Five, Nightlife. Four, Netflix. Grab a Drink, three.

And Travel, number two. And Music, number one. Travel, the second most popular interest on Tinder. Right. Music, the number one. Yeah. Okay. But there's so much music.

Yeah, the number one anthem. Because, you know, people on their Tinder can link their Spotify. The number one anthem for the year. Good for you. Olivia Rodrigo, you choose a link their Spotify, the number one anthem for the year. Can they? Good for you, Olivia Rodrigo, you choose a song. That's the number one song that people chose. That's what Bebo used to do. Bebo used to be like, chuck a song on your profile. Yeah, right. And you'd open

up their page and it would start playing whatever song they picked. Well, if Bebo was still a thing, a big thing, that would have been the song. So you go, you link your Spotify account and then you're like, I'm selecting my Tinder anthem. Yeah, so along with Olivia Rodrigo.

What's your Tinder anthem? I don't have Tinder. And if I did, I wouldn't put an anthem on there. I'd tilt my head and I'm like, come on. You did tilt my head. Black flag.

Black flag. No. I can't find what black flag means. If anybody knows. What is, because I've never seen that before. A black flag means If anybody knows What is Because I've never seen that before A black flag and a tinder Like as an emoji black flag

Just as a general reference for anything Carwin your job depends on knowing this Because you're at the social media desk And this falls under the social media umbrella What does a black flag and a dating profile mean? Okay I don't really know Fire it fire it But I feel like some people might use it for Black Lives Matter.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, can you please do some research and report back to us tomorrow? Fine. Oh my God, I'm sorry you have to do your job. I'm sorry you've been asked to work.

Please don't ask in return for us to work because that simply wouldn't happen at this time of year. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Two entrepreneurial young Kiwi lads have released an app. Emery and Ben have released this. It will help on the great Kiwi road trip.

It is called Road Trip. Yeah, because you know there's always fights about petrol money. I was just saying to Executive Intern Onion, I've never had always fights about petrol money. I was just saying to Executive Intern Onion, I've never had a fight about petrol money. Yeah, I'm always the go, like, you go Harveys or thirds. If you aren't driving. Even sometimes I was happy for the person whose car was being used not to pay petrol.

Yeah. Everybody else just chucked in. Oh, no, they should still pay petrol. You reckon they should still pay petrol? I mean, I know they're getting the wear and tear on the kilometres. Yeah, they definitely are. But they should still put in some money. Just the know they're getting the wear and tear on the kilometres. Yeah, they're definitely in the wear and tear on the kilometres. But they should still put in some money.

Just the insurance. They're covering the insurance they're covering. I think they're almost covering their fish here. Time behind the wheel too. Yes. Yeah, they are. There's an argument there to be made. Yeah, definitely an argument to be made.

Well, Road Trip is an app where you put in where you're starting from, where you're ending up, and your licence plate, and then it'll tell you how much it's likely to cost you. How does it know? It draws, I'm guessing the same place, carjam.co.nz draws information from number plates? Yeah. An open government sort of thing.

You can't get people's details, but it'll tell you what year the car is, what model it is, what engine size it is, and its average fuel efficiency. Oh, right. So that will work, because that's the thing. If you said, oh, I'm going to drive from Wellington to Auckland. How much is this going to cost me?

It's different for every car. Yes. Because every car is different. So this takes the average fuel economy. If you've got a heavy foot, I would allow a little bit more. Does it? I haven't downloaded the app, but does it allow for a heavy foot? It doesn't allow for it.

Well, you just put it in and it's the average. Right. So it'll allow for stop starting. Right. So it would say you're driving a Nissan whatever. Maxima. Maxima. That you got off your parents. And you're driving that from Wellington to Auckland.

You put the route in and then it will tell you the best way to go. Oh, wow. And then it'll give you the amount of petrol that you'll pay. Yes. How much it's like for the cost. It doesn't at the moment have regional differences. With prices? With prices of petrol.

So what price is it using? I don't know where it drags its price from. Right. I think just like maybe... Maybe that, what's that other one? Gaspi. Gaspi. With gas spy?

Gas spy. Because it's spying on gas prices. Team this up. Put the old Vaughan Smith $40 at a time Stack the things Get the last $40 You got yourself Trying to save

And so you'll be able to split That fuel bill With your friends On the app Before you've even started Oh that's good So you can say This is where we're going

We leave tomorrow Please bring $60 cash for gas But then what if you get stuck Behind a Fonterra truck And A tanker Yeah This is where we're going. We leave tomorrow. Please bring $60 cash for gas. But then what if you get stuck behind a Fonterra truck and- A tanker. Yeah. Well, your fuel efficiency might go up because you'd be sitting there. It can go no faster than 90. Yeah, but then you get in a passing line and you floor it.

Yeah, and you use it again. What you say, it all averages out. It all averages out. Yeah. All right. So if that app sounds like a bit of you, what's it called? Road Trip. Road Trip.

One word? Yeah. Okay. That's lovely, isn't it? Yeah. People are great making apps. I'm too lazy to ever do anything like that. I don't.

I just don't know how. I've got absolutely no idea. I'm happy for it to stay that way.