ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th July 2021

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

Young Entrepreneurs  Busy Air NZ!  ScoMo Curry Scandal  Top 6: Fish on Meth  Producer Jareds Car  Do you have a Calming Voice?  Hall Pass  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Play! The N's, Fleetspawn and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleetspawn and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. We're just gearing up for a departure. We've got a 12pm meeting time with a bunch of other civil engineer enthusiasts to have a little look around the Altair Centre train station for the Auckland Central Rail Loop. Oh, I'm trying to find the email here

from the Link Alliance. Here we go. Reminder for the ATC station public site tour. So I'm hoping we get to wear a hard hat. Oh, we 100% will be wearing a hard hat. Oh, I'm so excited. So what happens? Is it just the...

I think they just say, here's who's been digging a big hole. I know where they're digging the hole. I've seen the hole. Do we get down into the hole? Well, I don't know. I don't know if we're promised to get into the hole. Have they dug the hole for the ATC?

They've covered it over. Oh, we should be in the hole. Well, yeah, I don't know. I'm not meeting people if I don't get to go down and underground. Well, I need you to manage your expectations because if you don't go in the hole. If I don't get to drive a train today along this rail loop, I'm going to burn

the whole place to the ground. Don't you care about what's being built in the city Megan? People might wonder if I'm actually here for this break. I am. I'm just using it as a moment to do some mindful meditation. As a rate payer and a tax payer, you're contributing to this.

You should be more excited about getting down there and having a look. No, they've got this. I'm happy with what they're up to. This is why I'm always just knocking on old people's doors. Why? And saying, give me a look around your house. And they say, you've got no right to be in here.

I said, God damn it, you collect superannuation. I'm a taxpayer. I want to see what my money's been spent on. Actually, that's a good point. Yeah. Superannuation is taxpayer. So they could mow our lawns. Or they should be doing something for this handout,

these dull, bludgeoned 65-pluses sitting on their asses doing nothing. These old people are a real drain on society. I think, Vaughan, the idea is that they work and contribute to society all their life and then society. They also get to retire. Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Another 25-odd years and that's going to go up, and then when we get there, we'll see about that. Another 25 odd years and that's going to go up

and then when we get there there'll probably be nothing left. Of your body or what? Oh, both. Body and superannuation. The big money part for superannuation

and the bod. Yeah. Oh, we just let those old people retire. Nah. Put their feet up. Nah. Work till you die.

That's my answer. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, three minutes past six. Hello. Good morning. Hello. What day is it? Thursday. What day is it? That's never a good sign.

Yeah. Val Kilmer's getting a documentary. Just watching the trailer for Val. It's not about Valerie Adams, so don't get confused when you watch her to watch this. I don't. Well, he's just had throat cancer. He's still recovering, and he said that he's struggling to talk. And this is the narrator that's saying it, but they were talking like they're him, but it doesn't sound like him, so I'm wondering if someone else is narrating it.

Right, I wouldn't have thought there was an appetite for that movie about him. Well, I forgot how many amazing movies he's been in. And then at the start of it, they start flashing all the movies he's been in. Right, okay. It was Batman, wasn't he? He was Batman. Yeah, it was Batman. Yeah, but like 20 years ago.

Nearly 30 years ago. I think he was like the better of the 90s Batmans. Yeah. He was better than Clooney. Keaton was a good Batman. Keaton was a good Batman. It's the jawline out of there. Great jawline.

Great jawline. Handsome man. Handsome man. Heartthrob. He was in Top Gun. Fletch, you like Top Gun because you like planes. Good, good, good.

And you like Tom Cruise's can-do attitude. Is he going to the International Space Station? Tom Cruise? Yeah. Oh. For MI8, 9, 10.

Oh, yeah, they were going to space. There's some kind of Mission Impossible that's going to be at the International Space Station. That's right. And I feel like they were filming a lot of it on the

set, but he was at some stage going to the International Space Station. Wouldn't surprise me. I reckon he just wants to get to the International Space Station because he knows that Scientology God's coming around the corner sometime soon and he wants to just hook up the International Space Station and get taken off to whatever planet

Scientologist is going to get taken to. Are you there? Take me with you. Coming up on the show, the top six. Top six science. Your fish that you're eating is addicted to drugs. Here's the reasoning. You smoke meth.

I'm not saying you smoke meth, Megan. No. Fletch, you smoke meth. Again, I'm not saying you smoke meth. I don't. I'vech, you smoke meth. I'm not saying you smoke meth. I don't. I've never had. But there's meth in your system and then you do wheeze and some of the meth comes out. It goes into the wastewater.

Now, the traditional wastewater plants take care of your poos and your wheeze. Yeah. But the meth passes through. Now, then when it gets reintroduced to the water system, the aquatic circular system, the meth's in the water and the fish are in the meth now. And then the fish drink the meth and they get addicted to meth. And then we eat the fish. And then we eat the fish.

Circle of life. It's a circle of meth. How do you get the meth out of the water? I don't know. Figure that out, Megan. You got a million dollar idea and a stack of meth. Yeah. That you can sell back into the system.

All right, well, the top six dealing with that. Also coming up, Fussy Cat, your chance to win $2,000 cash. Your chance to do this before 7 this morning on the show. If you go to our Facebook page, FVMZ, we've got a picture of our Fussy Cat there with a huge bowl of kibble. You've got to tell us how many pieces are in that bowl. Now, we know it's between 1,600 and 1,700 pieces. So if you can nail that, $2,000.

I think we should give another clue too. I was going to say, are you still running the idea that tomorrow you're just going to... Oh, we'll just keep going until you give it away. Like auction it off. Yeah, otherwise if you can't nail it, we've got a Fussy Cat prize pack that's coming up on the show. Next though. A quiet UK town is being disrupted.

People are very angry. I'll tell you how they were disrupted next. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. A small UK town is very upset because they were disrupted. The noises they heard were screaming and moaning coming from a festival at the weekend. At a festival? Yeah. What is this village called?

Because I just watched Jeremy Clarkson's farm. Okay. And granted, it's Jeremy Clarkson. And what does he just go on a farm and do things? He was kind of going to do this anyway but then COVID hit. So it was like started filming

at the start of last year and he's owned this farm. He bought this farm in 2008 but he's always just had somebody else run it. Right. And he this guy said

I'm retiring because he was an old guy and Clarkson was like I'll come run the farm for a year. We'll make a TV show of it. It's actually a brilliant show and it made me like

Jeremy Clarkson more. Oh because nobody likes Jeremy Clarkson, do they? But also, like, I wondered how the average farmer would react because he literally bought a Lamborghini tractor before he'd done any farm work whatsoever. Classic. But the reason I bring this up is any time he wanted to change anything, he had to go to, like, the village council,

and they just don't want anything to change. Right. They want their little quaint English village to look and stay exactly the same as it's always been. Right. Like he built the store on his farm to sell stuff that he grew. Yep. And they wouldn't let him have a tin roof.

Right. But he couldn't get the slate stuff for it because it was like months on back order. So he just needed to put a roof on it. So he put a tin roof on it and they like shut it down. Like nothing. And he's just like, these little towns don't want anything to change. And he said, I can understand why.

Right. But then that got me thinking about, first of all, it got me thinking about that woman. Remember she was trying to control that council meeting and they screamed at her? Yeah, Jackie Weaver. Jackie Weaver, you've got no authority here. And so I'm wondering if this is the same thing.

I think they've been disturbed. This is slightly worse than putting a tin roof on. But you said, what's the small town? It's Oseby in Lincolnshire. Okay. Lincolnshire.

So this festival was a four-day festival. It went from Thursday to Sunday in large open fields. I would have thought that maybe now's not the time for a festival. Or if they're vaccinated.

Especially this festival. It's called Swingathon. Swingathon. People on swings. Not quite. No, this has happened before. Isn't this a regular? We've talked about this in past years. Have we?

And don't they all get in a field, put up tents and stuff? Yeah. So the event included wet t-shirt competitions, a mobile dungeon, and fetish demonstrations. A what? A mobile dungeon? Were there any food caravans?

Yes. There was a sweet bar, there was an outdoor cinema, and there was clay pigeon shooting. Yeah, right. Side events. So there was also a Mr. and Miss Swingathon contest. Okay. But they sold 400 tickets in this small town.

Yeah. Well, you know, it was held in this small town. Yeah. And locals have complained because they were disrupted by the screaming and moaning noises coming from the festival. Okay. Yeah, okay. Clarkson didn't try to get away with that. No.

He just wanted a roof on his shed. So, yeah, they did have to take a test. So how many people were at the festival? Well, they sold 400 tickets. Oh, wow. Okay, right. So. I thought they was just the locals that were going. And you'd think how many people decided. Jump, wow. Okay, right. So. I thought they was just the locals that were going. And you figured how many people decided.

Jump the fence. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, they had to take a test before they went. So, hopefully that's not a surprise. Right. And no COVID. You wouldn't think a 400-person festival would be enough to warrant, you know, getting the mobile dungeon out.

I don't get my mobile dungeon out. Four days. What's your number for mobile dungeon?. I don't get my mobile dungeon out for like... Four days? What's your number for a mobile dungeon? At least a thousand to get the mobile dungeon. Well, you've got so much cleaning involved, you know? Like you've got to clean it beforehand and then during and then after and then prep it up for storage again.

Four days and 400 people. It's a swing-a-thon. Yeah, I suppose they are having sex. That's a lot of people to be in a field. If you saw 400 people at a... We might not have all been there for that. There was the clay bird shooting. That's just something you do while you're recharging your battery.

Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Well, it's time to brag that I know some entrepreneurs. Okay. They're eight and seven... Nine and eight. Okay. We're eight and seven, nine and eight. Okay. We used to live next to them. Our kids were friends.

So when this was in the news yesterday, that the flat pack girls, Jala and Alia, were out there putting together flat packs and being entrepreneurial. Like kit set furniture. Yeah. And also donating some of the money they made to charity. I looked at my turn.

I was like, what have you two done today? Nothing. Nothing. You didn't even eat the banana I put in your lunchbox. Nothing. No money for charity. No helping people at all. No, just bloody Roblox.

That's all they want to do. Coming out, Dad, move this fence. I don't want to. It's cold outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they go around to people's, this is a business. Yeah. They go around and they put together flatback furniture.

If you have bought flatback furniture but don't like putting it together or don't back yourself to put it together and not be wobbly, you'll do it right. I don't back myself, but I back myself better than an 8 it together and not be wobbly. Or do it right. I don't back myself, but I back myself better than an 8 and a 9-year-old. Dad's helping, right? I think Dad's helping. Dad's helping. A little bit, but you saw them putting it together themselves.

They said that one guy tried to put together a cot and spend a couple of hours and they said they worked on it for like 20 minutes. But that's because kids aren't reluctant to follow instructions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas grown as adults, men perhaps worse than women at this just be like, this is a cot. How many ways could it possibly go to get it?

Yeah. Instructions are only there if something goes wrong. Yeah. That's really what they're for. But there are people who just literally can't. Like my father-in-law cannot look. He got a desk recently, the simplest thing. Yeah.

Because the legs were already in the shape they need to be. Yeah. He just looked at it and he's just like, I just don't know where those legs could possibly go. I was like, it's on the bottom side of the desk. Where do you normally see legs on a table? There's like grooves for the screws and stuff. An indication. It was such a simple for the screws and stuff. An indication.

It was such a simple flat pack that it had no words whatsoever. It just had drawings. Yeah. And it had the actual size of the bolt. So you could be like, okay, I need four of those because there's four holes to connect two legs to the table. So see how that one says four. That's the only lot of screws that's got four. This one's got eight.

And he was like, how'd you work that out? Like, it just... He was a doctor. He was a doctor. He was a doctor. He was an audiologist. He fit people for hearing aids. He knew how to...

He, like, said one of the great joys was when he gave, like, a baby a hearing aid and it heard for the first time. Yeah. The dude can't put together a desk. So maybe these eight, eight and nine-year-olds have got onto something. Oh, totally. There's a bunch of people who are like, oh, I like the look of that. They'll be hanging out for the IKEA launch, whenever that is.

They keep teasing us, aren't they? They're not going to need to put together an army of small children to put together flat pack furniture. Although, from what I hear, some of their stuff is quite intricate. Who?

IKEA? The IKEA stuff can be a bit... Yeah, there's a... They're professionals. They've got this. They've got their own tools. Yeah. They can't prepare.

Yeah, by the time they... IKEA finally gets here because hasn't they been coming for like 15 years? They'll be teenagers. No, they're going to be full of grown adults. They're going to be putting together your own flatbed furniture, you lazy shit. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

Well, Air New Zealand and airports around the country are just putting out a little warning ahead of the school holidays, which start, what, tomorrow after school? Yep. Yeah. Although, do, heaps of people do that thing where they just take their kids out of school to do it. Just to beat traffic and all the rush.

Well, Air New Zealand is preparing for its busiest ever July school holiday period. They say that 670,000 seats have been booked across the domestic network

this July alone. So, yeah, more than half a million Kiwis are flying on 7,500 flights. Farts McGee, that's a lot of people. I didn't know what I thought you were going to say. No, neither. The number of seats booked for the winter break is 52% higher than last year. Which is also, like, crazy because where are we going? Yeah.

So they're offering 50, they're actually putting on 56% more flights. Wow. And this is just Air New Zealand. These aren't even Jetstar stats as well. Now, Auckland Airport are saying it is going to be a hectic month and I'm assuming it'll be the same for other airports. More than 700,000 passengers are forecast to fly in and out of Auckland in July on 4,000 flights. That's 44% higher than this time last year.

Now, tomorrow is going to be the big day at Auckland Airport. They're saying 28,000 people are going to use the Auckland Domestic Terminal. That's you. And, you know, I bet they only have one person on the screening line. That's a bitch. I wish I was with you. You're going to be so foul. If they know now that it's going to be their busiest day ever

and they've only got one thing open, and they've got one screener open. And Fletch is coming. So just, if you're going to be there. If you're in front of Fletch, just make sure. Your laptop's out of your bag. If you've belted, set it off before you take your belt off. If you've got a big watch, that'll set it off.'s out of your bag. If your belt's set off before you take your belt off, if you've got a big watch, that'll set it off.

Everything out of your pockets, because otherwise you're going to hear an exasperated, you'll be like, behind you. I'm just looking, we're on a flight on Sunday, and it is like, I went to seat select, and it is absolutely chock-a-block. Oh, really? Yeah, well, that's what they're saying.

And also, I know you're going to Queenstown. In New Zealand, saying Queenstown is the most popular destination for customers these school holidays. 10,000 seats are booked. Wow. Nelson, Napier, and Tauranga are also set for an influx of visitors with, yeah, like hundreds of people there on flights each day. Wow.

Yeah, and most popular destinations from Auckland Airport are Wellington, Christchurch and Queenstown. So, yeah, she's going to be crazy. And also, they reckon about 10,000 people flying to the Cook Islands as well over the holiday period. Oh, yeah, that was great. So, with the travel bubble. When we booked our trip, it was pre-Cook Islands bubble.

Right, okay. Yeah, how good would that be right now? So yeah, they're saying that the busiest days are Auckland Airport, and I'm assuming this will be the same for other airports around the country, tomorrow and then the Friday, the following Friday, July 6th, and then the following Friday, the 23rd of July, I guess with people heading back. And then yeah, in between days, you're crazy.

So pack your patience too. Yeah're crazy so pack your patience too yeah you bloody pack your patience tomorrow who the hell are you telling other people to pack their patience I'm just trying

you don't even know you sold your patience on Trade Me one dollar reserve pick up as is where is I'm going to go to the airport

nice and early and try this patience thing yeah okay some meditative breathing play ZM's I'm going to go to the airport nice and early and try this patience thing. Yeah, okay. Some meditative breathing. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. A curried controversy in Australia involving the otherwise, I would say he's been absolutely flawless, wouldn't you?

ScoMo, their Prime Minister Scott Morrison. You know, I can't think of a single thing that he's done wrong. Everyone loves him. Yeah. So this is the accusations cast against the Prime Minister of Australia. ScoMo. ScoMo is accused of staging a curry. Staging a curry.

Apparently he showed off a curry that he cooked on Facebook and chefs are looking at it and saying this is a staged curry. Because there's a before and after for all the ingredients on the bench. Yeah. And that's why people are like this doesn't look right. No.

Apparently a potato and beef masuman curry. The after looks really delicious, doesn't it? I love a masooman. The problem is it's like really heavy on potato and then you put it on a whole lot of rice. Feels like I might be having a few too many curries. I'll never know what a masooman, is that how you say it?

Masooman. Masooman curry tastes like because I can't go past the butter chicken. Yeah. Because I'm basic. Yeah, you are. You should too. I'm basic. Yeah, you are. You should do that. You should branch out. I branch out sometimes and do a korma.

Well, isn't musselman, isn't that Thai? Musselman, like, because my mother-in-law makes a killer musselman. And they've always said Thai, but you can get it at Indian restaurants. Oh, okay, right. I've had it there. So it might be sort of more a generally Asian-wide curry. Okay.

Or that might just literally stand for potato-based curry and our ignorance to it. So he put up a photo of all the ingredients on the bench and was just like, just after a month away, it's just good to get home for some cooking. And then a picture of the finished product and chefs are like, just after a month away, it's just good to get home for some cooking. And then a picture of the finished product.

And chefs are like, no. No, he didn't do that. Because there's like eight cans of coconut milk, right? Yeah, there's coconut milk, coconut cream, a lot of beef and everything. And they said, no, I think what he's done there is either not had anything to do with it or he's ordered in because it went so poorly. But because he put up the before photo, he's had to put up an after photo. Yeah, right.

Okay. Yeah. So there's not – a chef said there's no way there's four cans of coconut milk in a curry and there's absolutely no potatoes in that curry. At least if you're going to fake up, you know, making a curry, know what the curry's going to look like and the ingredients that go into it. Yeah, that doesn't look like a muslin curry.

That doesn't look like a muslin at all. No, because you can't see, like, the big, because the idea is it's got big chunks of potato in it, right? And also, isn't it generally kind of like orangey-reddy situation? That's a very brown... This looks more like a... Meaty mush. Yeah.

Like a stew. I just love that Australia is in the midst of outbreaks everywhere, and you know that the next press conference, it's going to turn to questions about his curry, and did he make it? And where's the peanuts? No, ScoMo. No, no, no. Liar. Yeah, and apparently there's this peanuts? No, ScoMo. No, no, no. Liar.

Yeah, and apparently there's this one particular journalist, a guy called Cameron, and he's just absolutely, he's like, I will talk to any curry chef that says they can make a masamune curry that looks anything like that. Oh, really? He'll get to the bottom of this. Yeah, you make it and I'll be like,

okay, there's a small chance that it could happen, but he's still yet to find a single curry chef that would say, yeah, you can make a mastermind that looks like that. This could be his downfall. The Australian Prime Minister bought down by... Well, you can lie about all sorts of things. You dare not lie about making a curry. No.

And what kind of curry? From the majestic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there. Today's Top 6 dealing with what we're putting in the water. Yeah. Because there's something in the water. Not what Brooke Fraser was singing about because it's meth. No.

Now, apparently meth use is getting fish addicted to meth. This has been studied at the Czech University of Life Sciences. Okay. And so they've been checking freshwater rivers. This is freshwater rivers. And brown trout are apparently swimming around in meth-tainted water, and they get addicted to it. It's crazy that it can go from their wastewater to their rivers.

Yeah. I guess it's just the circle of life. But I remember I watched that show, that Netflix documentary series, was it Connected? And there was the one on water. Yeah. And they'd done tests on these little fish that lived in there. And they were freshwater fish as well.

Oh, yeah. And the wastewater from everybody's anti-anxiety medication was getting into the wastewater, getting treated, but then getting put back into the water system and it was making these little fish fearless. Oh, wow. They no longer had, they always stayed by the shore because it was a safer place for them to be

rather than being out in the deeper water where the big fish were. They stayed in the marshy area because it was undercover from the birds from above and it was protecting them from the big fish in the middle water where the big fish were. They, like, stayed in the marshy area because it was undercover from the birds from above. Yeah. And it was protecting them from the big fish in the middle of the thing. But they were just wandering into the middle of their swimming.

Were they getting eaten up? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. And then so. A little bit of fear was a good thing for them. I know. It kept them on their toes or their fins in this case.

And then the big fish would eat them and they'd be getting little doses of this anti-anxiety medication as well. What do the big fishes have to worry about? Well, the other big fish. Bigger fish. There's always a bigger fish. Yeah. There's always a bigger fish.

So today's top six is the top six signs the fish you've just caught is on drugs. Okay. Number six. They used to be a great student, but recently the fish left school. The school. The school. The fish school. They just up and left their school with no plans for the future. This is how this is going to go.

The school. It's top six. Number five on the list of the top six signs the fish you just caught is on drugs. It asks you to borrow $20 as you take the hook out of its mouth. Just wants its next hit. Just needs $20. It's good for it. They'll pay you back. Promise. Number

four on the list of the top six signs the fish you just caught is on drugs. It's got bloodshot eyes, poor skin tone and appears tired or run down. That might also be a fish that's not on drugs. You just literally ripped it from the ocean and it's fought for its life. Yeah.

Either way, it could be on drugs, could just be tired from the fight it's put up. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six signs the fish you just caught

is on drugs. It really just wants to touch your fishing jersey because it looks real soft. Oh my God, it's that wool. Oh my God, I love wool.

That feels amazing. Have you felt this thing? Just a little bit. First, have you got that wool? Oh my God, I love wool. That feels amazing. Have you felt this thing? Lady, just a little bit. First, have you got anything to drink? Just a little fish snuggling. Just a little bit of

right up on you. I love you. Number two on the list of the top six signs the fish you just caught is on drugs. It's not technically on drugs.

It's trying out microdosing. So just a little wee bit every morning. Yeah, right. Okay. Of LSD. Apparently it's the future. Yeah, totally. Totally. Of LSD. Apparently it's the future. Yeah, totally.

Totally the future. That fish is just quite progressive with its thoughts. And number one on the list of the top six signs the fish you caught is on drugs. It can't stop laughing. And it's trying, but that in itself is really funny and it's only making the problem worse. Yeah. And it can't stop. But hang in there.

It's going to be very hungry in a minute and then it will probably just fall asleep. Yep. That's today's top six. Play a minute, and then it will probably just fall asleep. Yep. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. There's been a huge uptake, especially over the last few years, of people using apps. It's not really an app.

It's more of a homepage, isn't it? Sharesies. Yeah. The thing where you create a shortcut and save it to your homepage. So people using apps like, or pages, services like Sharesies, there's InvestNow

or Hatch. Similar ones that are available here in New Zealand. The FMA which is the Financial Markets Authority. This is sexy stuff guys. They've done a study looking at investors here in New Zealand and they've found that

there are a lot of 25 to 39-year-olds responded in this survey. And they, of everybody that they asked in the survey, six out of 10 had used platforms like Sharesies, InvestNow or Hatch. Right. So not your standard, you know, old school traders. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't even know how to go about that stuff. Neither. The old school. Well, no, before like Sharesies. I don't even know how to go about that stuff. Neither. The old school. Well, no, before like shares, I'd never. The FTSE and the greenback. I still don't know what, yeah. The greenback's the US dollar. What is the FTSE?

The FTSE is the, isn't that the? No, the Nikon is the Japanese stock share market. No, that's a camera. 2Ks. Oh, 2Ks. All right. Is that right? 1K. One of them's got 1K's a camera. 2Ks. Oh, 2Ks. All right. Is that right? 1K.

One of them's got 1K, one of them's got 2Ks. And that's the thing. It basically made like share trading a game, didn't it? Accessible, yeah, yeah. Because you could put $100 on

and then all of a sudden you were trading and then it would go up and you'd be like, ah, I'm rich. And then you'd cash out and spend it all on drinks at the weekend

and then start again. That's what you did. That's winning. Well, you know, because do you remember the pandemic? I made all that money when that company fired like hundreds of people and I felt so bad. I cashed out and spent it all. You felt really bad.

Yeah. You felt awful. It was terrible though. I was like, wait, I made money because lots of people lost their jobs? Capitalism, it's crazy. I don't invest like that. I invest like, what do I feel? I actually,

a lot of mine is tied up in like ethical ones and green ones and stuff. So easy. That is the future. Until he found out that he was invested in a GPS company that was in missiles.

See, that's where I get- No, see, I'm down for that. We need missiles. I get caught up in like arms trading and be like, oh, what? That's like, I shouldn't be investing in that.

You get dragged in front of the UN at the Hague. You're like, look, I don't know, guys. It tells you what companies you're investing in, and you choose. But someone scared me with a tax chat about that. So I was like, oh. I don't know. What happens if what? It's if you're a day trader, you've got something to worry about.

Otherwise, you just take care of it when you get your cash out, right? I don't know. Exactly. Every pay, I i get 25 put in yup and then i get a little notification saying you got money and i'm like and some of it's an automatic it automatically invests in some of the ethical versions and then i go in and i just chuck 10 bucks wherever i feel like feels good i'm bloody born of wall street over there yeah 10 bucks at a time baby i'm I'm saving for my retirement.

So this study that talked to people in New Zealand that have been investing said 72% of investors were confident in New Zealand's financial markets. 72. Wow. That's up from last year. That's good. You need confidence. Six out of 10 are using places like Sharesies,

and those that use those online platforms to buy their shares were more likely aged between 25 and 39. Right. Which is you. So there's a Sharesies Facebook group, and I joined it and I've absolutely regretted it since because it's like so intense.

What are your thoughts on A2 and Keneself and Bliss for the long, long, long term, and then everyone weighs in with their opinions and then you click on it and they don't actually work in shares. They're just someone who's got an opinion on it and their opinions are like bumholes. Everybody's got one.

Some people don't have a bumhole anymore. Yeah, there are some people who legit don't have a bumhole. So we take that back. That out of date term. Thank you. You apologise to people without a bum. But look, so everybody, like, there was, and I always wonder this because whenever I open it up, I swipe across and it tells me

that I've made $125. I'm rucking at a 12% return. Wait, so in the last two years you've been doing this, you've made $120. Yeah. You're useless. That's not much. Yeah, that's not worth the effort in my mind.

It's a 12% return. But, okay, so look at this. That's over much. Yeah, that's not worth the effort in my mind. It's a 12% return. But okay, so look at this. That's over two years. What's your hourly rate? No, well, that's the thing. I only give it about two minutes every paid day to be like, oh, there. So look at this. This is pretty much a flat line over the last month.

But it is going up. Yeah. Three months, it's going up more. Now, you go down to show over the last five years, look how steep that line is. Oh, but that looks good in that graph. Yeah. You've made $25. But that doesn't matter.

Because, look, if you put it on five years, it's a steep line. It's a steep line, baby. It's $100. I mean, it's still better than putting money in a term deposit and getting 0.2% at the moment. Exactly. I got $16 to invest. What are you guys feeling?

Because I'll be like, something about biscuits. Can you invest in biscuits and cakes? Fisher & Puckle Healthcare's down five. Down five. What did they do? Someone fall into a fridge and it shut behind them? It's a bad day for Fisher and Paykel today. Somebody else got stuck in a fridge again.

Again. And actually made them far less healthy than the Fisher and Paykel health promised. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Yes. Yes. Yes Yes Crime watch Crime themed music Yesterday our very own producer Jared was the victim of a crime He became a statistic in the vehicle break-ins

The vits had its window smashed His wallet got stolen. He did, for attentive listeners, he did leave his wallet in the car, which was a bit nuanced. He doesn't need to hear that again. We covered that quite well yesterday. We all

make mistakes. Putting it out there again. But there's been an update. There's been various updates, in fact, across it. We go to the producer's booth now for the latest in this crime story that's breaking. Good morning. Well, Tim, you know how popular true crime podcasts are.

I think that's why we've got to be all over this. People just lap up true crime. Yep, we're going to be number one in the Spotify charts. You know who else had their driver's window smashed yesterday? That woman that ran the police car in downtown Auckland. That was wild.

That was a crazy video. That was the wildest thing I've seen in a long time. I was like... They tasered her and she thudded out of the car when they pulled her out.

Did they tase her to get her out of the car? Oh, I heard they tased her, yeah. Because I thought they were grabbing her. So did they get a little bit of second-hand electric shock there? I don't know, I don't know, but wild.

That was wild. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you to people who see something like that unfolding and think, I must get my phone out. I can't thank you enough. I know. Because otherwise I wouldn't have seen that. What kind of car was that? It felt like a Nissan Tita.

It looked like a little blue Suzuki Swift or something. No, it wasn't a Swift. It wasn't high enough. I think it had Teter written all over it. And then when she ran out and pulled a very tight U-ey and then just slammed into the cop car. The car I'd imagine slamming into a cop car would. No.

You wouldn't ram right a pharmacy in a Nissan Teeter. No. You wouldn't ram anything in a Nissan Teeter. So producer Gerard's car got broken into the window smash. They took the wallet and then they fuelled up at the service station using PayWave.

Yeah, they took all my money. Did they fuel up at the petrol station? I'm not sure. I can just see that they've taken a couple chunks. How much did they spend

at the petrol station? $218, I think. Whoa! Okay, so that's a tank of gas and a few packs of cigs Yeah Okay But then that's dumb as well because forecourt's a camera to up

The minute they stepped on that forecourt, there was a shot of their face So what's the, like, have you requested the footage? Um, the police are requesting the footage at the moment Oh my god, what? Do you know, I'm watching SWAT at the moment, absolutely binging it on Netflix When they request the footage at the moment. Oh, my God. Do you know, I'm watching SWAT at the moment, absolutely binging it on Netflix. When they request the footage,

they get it literally the next frame of the TV show. Because otherwise you're going to be watching the TV show for a couple of days to get the next part of the story. I know, imagine if it was real life. You'd just be sitting around at the staff room. Oh, no, we can't go out because we're waiting for the lab results or we're waiting for the security footage. Yeah, so I'm waiting for the security footage? Yeah, so I'm waiting

for the security footage. Oh my god, don't they know there's been a crime? It makes people in real life very impatient. Yeah. Why hasn't this been solved within 40 minutes? Forensic scientists are the ones that really deal with this. They love that. So we're still waiting for the footage.

Can they release it to you? Or they have to release it to the police? Someone told me they'd give it to me. So I'm excited to get that. I've seen people who've had stuff stolen before who get the footage and put the screen caps up on local Facebook pages. Does anyone recognise these people?

They're kind of like, well, I'll help the police out by vigilante. I want to see what they look like. Yeah, me too. Because then we can share it on our socials. We're going to find these people. We're going to find them. What other leads have we got?

I'm going to break their legs. I'm going to tie them up in a chair and smack them in the face. I don't think you're allowed to. I'm going to smack them in the face. I always wanted to tie someone up to a chair and smack them in the face. Right. Now, you found your licence yesterday. Yes, I got a message from a lovely Russian man being like...

The mafia, Rudolph! Being like, hey, I think you lost your licence. I was like, oh, I didn't actually... How did he find you? Well, my name, I guess, and then he just Facebook messaged me. Oh, right. And a message request. Yeah, right.

Okay. No, but you said you got a call from him. It's not the 1980s, Grandad. How would you find somebody? How would he find you? He said he got a call from him. It was a misspoke. I'm sorry, Fletch.

Well, you can also call on Facebook Messenger, Grandad. Not a person you haven't messaged. Once you open communication, you can. Well, yes, you could, but Jared didn't stipulate that. You could be like bump and then they're like, what up? I was paying attention to what Jared was saying. Okay, SWAT, calm down. Just fill the gaps.

Fill the gaps. Right, okay, so you got your license. Where did he find it? About a K down the road. And he... So they tossed it. They just yeeted it out the window. Nothing else in your wallet.

Yeet? Did he put it in an evidence bag for fingerprints? No. Oh, he's probably handled it. Oh, for fingerprints? No. He's probably handled it. Oh, for crying out loud. He's contaminated the evidence. He's getting tied to a chair too. I'm going to smack him in the face.

Do these people not watch any crime shows? Apparently not. Christ's evidence is contaminated. What other leads have we got then? When I was cleaning up all the glass and stuff yesterday, I had a few neighbours be like, oh, what happened here? Okay. And I was having a chat with one of them and he was like, oh, what time?

Yep. He got so excited and then I noticed he had a little camera on the side of his house. So he's trawling through footage for me. What do you mean? Why didn't he get it back to you last night? His internet was down. Oh, for crying out loud. This is the worst crime show ever.

Imagine there was a crime show where the police actually had to deal with all this dumb tech stuff that happens to everybody in every job. So when can we expect Neighbours footage? Um, I might go have a chat with him today. Oh God, he's moving at a glacial pace, isn't he? He's in no rush. Somebody texted them. They were on jury duty once and the footage took so long once they'd requested it that the hard drive got to the end and then went back and taped over it. This is a winner race against time, Taryn.

Oh my lord. Okay. I'll run over. Let's go straight to the petrol station and just be like, give me the goddamn tapes and I'll tie them to a chair and I'll smack them too. What's wrong with you? Someone's got to get smacked. No, Vaughan's right. Every cop show needs a good cop. Bad cop.

I'm the good cop. You're good cop? I'm good cop. Christ. And then halfway through, after I'm smacking them about the face, I lean in and I'll be like, how is your mum? And all of a sudden, I'm the good cop. Switch room.

And then Flash comes in and he's going to smack them. And I'm like, wait. And then I'm like, no, no, no. Go ahead. Well, the slowest moving crime drama will update you as we. God, if I don't get to tie someone to a chair and smack them in the face, I'm leaving the show. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan.

When I tie someone to a chair, do you reckon I smack them? Do I smack them backhand? Like a slap. Do I smack them slap open first or do I just punch them? Because I think punching would really hurt. You're not... We can't... Well, you're not interrogating any of the suspects.

You've been taken off duty. You've been stood down. I won't be told how to run my precinct by some bureaucrat tie wearer like you. News that New Way is days away from full vaccination. They don't have many people living there. So that's... There's like 2,000 people. Oh, that's cool. So it's not going to take long to vaccinate everybody.

Always wanted to go to New Way. Yeah, and then they reckon that by the end of the year, it could be a travel bubble option. Yeah, and one day I'll learn how to spell it. Like, in what order do the I, the U and the E go? Because I, I, N-I-U-E. N-I-U-E N-I-U-E I always go N-E-U

And then I'm like No, no I goes in there Earlier Yeah They used to Because I wanted to go there I was like

Oh well that looks beautiful And had friends that went there But they only used to have One flight a week Yeah that was the problem So you had to go You had to go on like a Friday And come back

And stay for a week And stay for a whole week Which might be a bit You know long Because it's not the biggest island I could totally do that So you have to go on like a Friday and come back. And stay for a week. And stay for a whole week, which might be a bit, you know, long. Because it's not the biggest island. I could totally do that. You could? And great spot for whale watching, apparently.

Really? But it'll be too late because the prime whale watching season is July to October. I remember looking into that. Oh, right. They reckon that they've only had a 3% rate of people declining the vaccine. So it'll be pretty much 97% vaccinated. Send 2,000, gang up on the 3%, hold them down and jab them. In the chair.

And ask them if they know who broke the window. Yeah, I will tie up every single... What's 3% of two? How many people did you say? I was trying to work it out. Six people. Yeah. That'd be 60.

So line them up. I didn't know. Line them up in 60 chairs. I just made Yeah. That'd be 60. So line them up. I didn't know. Line them up in 60 chairs. I just made up a number. And I'll have them tied up and I'm like, Vax or Bax? And the Bax means backhand. And then I'll go Vax. The latest.

You're very aggressive today. Why are you so aggressive today? Well, I'm sick of criminals. And anti-vaxxers. And anti-vaxxers. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. Yesterday after lunch, I went for an X-ray.

Are you all right? I thought you were getting a scan. No, it's an X-ray. It was an X-ray. It wasn't a scan. An X-ray. An X-ray. It's an X-ray.

And so because I've had this like torn disc or disc problem in my lower back. Okay. It's just real niggly. It's always there. And it's been five weeks and I'm like, why aren't I better? And so the physio's like, well, you can go get an X-array. That's what the physio said. An X-array.

I don't think you were putting enough syllables into that. I think it's X-arr-ray. X-arr-ray. Array. X-arr-. I don't think you were putting enough syllables into that. I think it's X-array. X-array. Array. X-array-ray. I went in there and I messaged Vaughn. I'm like, oh my God, Vaughn, I just met the loveliest X-array lady. What do they call them?

Radiologists. Radiologists that do the X-arrays. And she had the most calming voice ever. It's one of my simple pleasures in life, listening to people speak who have one of those voices that's super calming. Yeah. Is it because you're the absolute antithesis of that?

I believe so. I believe so. I am too. I am too. I'm not. It's a piercing. It's a piercing tone. My voice sits in this register of garage door openers.

It's also the volume, I think, of which you hit it most of the time. Well, if you're going to talk, let yourself be heard. Stand out from the crowd. So I had to, for this x-ray, I had to get into this gown and leave my knickers on. I always have my knickers off.

Even if they are, I'm going to keep them on. Really? Is that something you have bits on the lead? Lead my knickers off Even if they are I'm just going to keep them on I take them off Really? Yeah Is that something Your bits on the lead Lead line Lead line knickers Yeah They won't see through it So anyway

So I'm there And she's like Just the way she was speaking Because she had to do Like four different x-rays Yeah And I had to like Lie on my side for one

On my back and the other And then she'd change it up And she's like Okay breathe in, hold. No, you're not doing a good enough job. No, I can't. I can't do. Oh, my God, she was just.

Breathe out. But it wasn't just relaxing. It was also, like, very instructional. No, no, no, not arousing. It was calming, but also it was very matter of fact, and just you could tell she'd done it a million times. Well, because people get quite anxious, you know, going in there, and then you have to put on that lead thing. It was calming, but also it was very matter of fact. You could tell she'd done it a million times. Because people get quite anxious going in there,

and then you have to put on that lead thing. I know, because every time you get an X-ray, they leave the room. Like the dentist. You're like, you're leaving the room and X-raying me. Yeah, but they're doing hundreds a day. You're just getting three jolts. They're doing hundreds a day, every day. Get a helmet and a vest. Stay in the room with me.

If I have to be in the room for this, you're in the room too. Yeah. Get them a Chernobyl suit. Saddle up, dentist. Exactly. If I have to do this. You wanted to hold your hand. No, it's fine.

It was fine. But I was just like, just as I was there, she was just so calming. And I was like, what are those people with a calming voice? Oh, I love them. Did you give her compliments? I didn't because I didn't I just thought that would be weird. Yeah because it comes across creepy I've tried

You have such a calming voice You have such a calming voice I remember them too the first one I ever experienced was a dental nurse when I was a kid and she started speaking and I was like a little kid and I was like what's and the voice just like kind of like relaxed speaking and i was like a little kid and i was like what's what's and the

voice just like kind of like relaxed me like it was like a vocal anesthetic yeah right okay and it relaxed me i remember her um she had a he's got a friend yeah um ashley who's got a very very calming voice but only when she's like talking quietly because they're like if a kid's in bed so she brings the volume down a little bit. And it's just, I can just be like, keep going. But then she was the one that I said, you've got a very calming voice. And Shada was like, something groovy. Yeah.

And we recently had parent-teacher interviews. And August's teacher had like the most calming voice. Is that good for a teacher? I think so. Because you want to, what about if they need to tell the kids off? They probably can tell kids off. Oh, right. Yeah, these are all people that like would use it for their job.

Yeah. Like the dentist needs to be calm. Calming. The teacher. But there's something about, it's like soft and it almost just like sneaks out of the mouth. And there's always a little bit of some of the, is the tongues hitting the back of the teeth? Because there's always just a slight, that's not a lisp. Yeah.

But there's a slight hit on that. There's a soft S. Oh, my gosh. So as you can tell, this is a passion area of mine. I love hearing relaxing voices. Okay. So I would like now, if you have ever been told you have a relaxing voice, to call us on 0800-DOLL-ZM.

Or you can text 9696. We'll ring you back. Yeah. And here you're coming. Are you trying to do a relaxing voice? You're talking down a notch. I'm taking it down a notch. No, don't.

Taking it down a notch. I'm taking it down. It just sounds unnatural. Everyone you've described, though, has been female. Do you reckon there's guys that are like... Yeah, because who reads the audio box? You've got your McConaughey's.

Harry Styles did one that was quite popular. They always did the calming app, didn't they? But I think that was more because people were just imagining Harry Styles whispering in their ear and their beard beside them. Yeah, he's got a lovely voice as well. Okay. Do you think we're going to struggle to find people with calming voices in New Zealand because of our accent?

We can still be calming and have a Kiwi accent. Kiwi accent. I don't know if we can. I don't know if we can. All right, well, I'll... I'm here on the beach. Just relaxing with my feet in the sand. Okay, I don't know how this is going to go.

Peter of the waves on the beach. We are talking about calming voices and we may have had a bit of a wall here, Vaughn. Yeah, they know what it's called. That's a wall? I think maybe you're being a bit creepy about it. We should have called it the impossible phone and topic. Do you have a relaxing voice? And then that would have triggered everyone to be like, I'll show them what's impossible. It's like Tall Poppy in New Zealand. No one wants to be like,

I've got a calming voice. Because we'll be like, no you don't. I don't think that people would give you a compliment about having a calming voice because it does come across a bit creepy. We've actually had more response. We have had people recommending calming voices, celebrities with calming voices,

and actually more feedback about your incorrect use of radiographer, radiologist. Your incorrect use? I didn't. Yes, you did. You were the one that got the x-ray. I got the x-ray. Takes x-rays, radiographer.

Reads x-rays, radiologist. And that's exactly what I said. Apologies. Vaughan would like to apologize to the radio community. The radio. If you're a grapher. Apologies to the radios. A grapher or a logist.

You're all very important. Yes. Cogs in the machine that is x-rays. Yes. And stand in the room with us next time. Yeah. Take all the radiation all day, every day. There.

So somebody said, have you guys heard the Chris Hemsworth kids meditation app? Is it calming? So I've just got a little sample here. I found a little sample. Are you all tucked up in bed? Feeling warm and comfortable? I think more mums are going to be downloading this. I know, this is for the kids, this is for the mums. Is there more?

Each time you breathe out, feel your body go soft and wobbly like jam. Oh, hello. And then that, the Harry Styles. Hello. Don't talk over it. I'm Harry Styles. Hello. No, no. Don't talk over it. I'm Harry Styles. I know. And tonight, I'm going to help you drift off to sleep.

Okay. Is that actually him? Yeah. He did the calming. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't heard that before. And calming music. A sleep story. Even the way you said sleep.

Sorry. Do you need a moment? I do. Hold on, here's another one that's apparently quite popular. Hi, it's Spawn. Are you nice and relaxed and tucked up in bed? Big breathe into your belly. What a day we've had.

We'll be another one tomorrow. Days. Am I right? Night. From Harry to that. See them. From the calming noises before on the apps to get you to sleep and the celebrities' voices to a couple of New Zealanders

that are not getting a good night's sleep because they live next to factories. Oh, okay. In the news's sleep because they live next to factories. Oh, okay. In the news about a couple who live next to the Waddy's factory, they said they haven't had a decent night's sleep in seven years. What does living next to a baked bean factory sound like? They'd have to squirt the beans out.

Smells like tomatoes. I reckon they'd have a pretty strong tomato-y smell. Oh, I reckon you'd know the day they were making the hash browns too. But that factory did, oh my God, that'd be, I'd be happy. That'd be a good day. Yeah, imagine if you went outside to complain about the noise, but there was like a tray of hash browns waiting for you. You'd be like, I can't be angry at you.

Yummy, yummy, yummy. So they've been there for 32 years, apparently. Oh, so who moved in first? The factory's been there forever and a day. But they said recently it's really ramped up. It's really ramped up. Here's what I've been looking for in this picture about this family. I want to know what kind of glazing they're rocking.

Because you could double glaze. Yeah, but double glazing is expensive. Whaties can pay for the double glazing. And I just say, oh, double glaze the windows and we'll be all G. Right. And then you've got a little added value to your property because now you've got double glazing. They might not be able to afford double glazing.

Wadis is paying for the double glazing. But why should they pay? Well, just to shut them up. I reckon they should try the hash browns first. I reckon you want to try hash browns over the fence every day. But what if they become hash brown fiends and it ends up costing you more than double glazing? Would you put up with the noise for unlimited free Waddy's products? No, because the same reason I declined a gold card to a fast food outlet once,

I'd just be there every day. You just couldn't help yourself. If they said endless Waddy's products, I'd be like, well, we'll see. We'll see. Yeah, but this is up there, people that move next to a sports stadium. And then complain about the noise. Speedway, and then complain about it.

It's like, you moved in there. That was a big problem. Oh, I've got to move to the foot of a runway. It's too noisy. I've moved into the flight path. Now, I've noticed. Another one is is another factory that's keeping people awake is the Farrah's Flatbread Factory

in Silverstream. Oh, yeah. In the Wellington area, Upper Hutt. Yeah. Now, when I read this, I immediately got angry because that's my favourite flatbread. Now, if anybody gets in the way of me going home from work and almost every day without fail having a delicious Farrah's wrap,

there will be hell to pay. Smoked chipotle. Oh, really? Niche? No, it's the yummiest and it's the lowest. The garlic one. It's the yummiest and it's the lowest calories. Oh, right.

And you know what else is a good one? They've got a green one, a spinach one, and they've got the beetroot one as well. Right. The beetroot one. It's the yummiest and it's the lowest calories. Oh, right. And you know what else is a good one? They've got a green one, a spinach one, and they've got the beetroot one as well. Right. The beetroot one. And so how noisy is that? Who was there first? To me, that's the argument winner. Well, this one says Resident

Helen moved into her dream home and only discovered 24-7 noise from the neighbouring factory. So it sounds like she's moved in. Now there's a picture of her glazing. Yep. Single pane wooden glazing. Yeah. Let me tell you something Helen. Yep. You should be

pushing Ferris for a full double glazing stall. Either that or just glue some wraps to the window. The noise absorbent of the wraps. I don't know if you know this but... ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan Norway has introduced a new law that says influencers and this is for like

paid sponsored posts and non-sponsored posts will now have to say if they've edited their photos in any way So any advertising including Yeah, is that like magazines as well? Sounds like it.

Social media. New law in Norway is coming into force. Social media influencers can't post modified photos without declaring what they've done. So what they've done. Oh, I didn't know it included what they've done. Oh, they have to do a breakdown. That's great.

So like now, for example, in New Zealand, if influencers post anything that's an ad, the first words have to be ad so that people know that it's an ad. Not everyone adheres to that, don't they? You can see my eyes rolling. Yeah, no, that was a good eye roll. They went right back in your head. That eye roll brought to you by OPSN.

Hashtag ad. If you've eye rolled too many times and you've strained your eyes And you need some glasses OPSN Yeah What happens if you don't Hashtag ad Has anyone been pinged For that yet They make you go back

And edit it Only if someone reports you And then you go to the ASA And then the ASA Goes through the whole process And I don't think there's fines You just get told off And then you have to amend

The situation And delete it And change it So what are they proposing In Norway If you put up a photo You just get told off and then you have to amend the situation. Okay. Delete it and change it. So what are they proposing in Norway if you put up a photo that you've changed and altered and you don't save? Fines. Fines, okay. Do we know what the fines are?

Fines. Norway is a hell of an expensive country. It's 15 salted herring. Which I think is quite steep. And a fjord. Like if you own a fjord, you've lost it. You now owe them the fjord. The government owns the fjord. Yeah, they talk to a bunch of Norwegian influencers

who honestly don't look like they need much touch up anyway. God damn Scandinavians. These are good looking people, aren't they? I'm 3% Scandinavian. Did you know that? Swedish. You'd never know. Even my ancestors.

Double burn. That was a double dip on that one. And I appreciate it. That was good. They both hit it at the same time too. That's what you often get with a double dip. Burn. So they talked to one and she said she's never edited her photos, but

she does, however, change light colours and sharpness to get a bit of vibe. That was my question. It's because that's like I use presets and filters and stuff. Are they included? Because, like, I don't even know what those presets have done. There's colours and all sorts. If you change exposures in some filters, it does lighten your skin,

so it would make you look blemish-free. And the idea is that would be saying to people, I've got perfect skin, whereas they don't want, they want people to have a realistic expectation. A duty is introduced to mark retouched or otherwise manipulated posts when this means that the person's body in the advertisement deviates from reality in terms of body shape, size, skin. So if you're using like Facetune and you just pull your hips in.

Yeah, of course. And pull your face in and get rid of your bag. You have to say this is an old photo. But yeah, no, that works to do filters as well. So it covers filters like Snapchat filters where you take a photo and it smooths out your face. Because what was the one, it was the dog ears? Yeah.

And the tongue. But it also skinned your face. Skinned your face and smoothed your face, right? But when you do stories on Instagram and you slide across to Paris, it makes everything smoother. So do you have to be like, I've used Paris. I've used Paris. That's funny.

Yeah. But what about the magazine industry and the modelling industry? This is coming down very hard on Instagram when we have very high... It's any advertisement. Any ad in Norway. So do they have to break down what they altered in the photo? Yes. So you would have to say, I've got rid of my wrinkles,

I've made my bum smaller. Use face churn. Wow. Et cetera. I kind of like that. The ones that they talked to And they said Would you do it

They all said Well we don't But you know They're very defensive And I feel like No one was accusing them So they said It would be so embarrassing

To list what you had done That a lot of them Just will And people that are Editing their photos Will probably stop Just because Well I wouldn't have a problem

Putting down the bottom Like filter used Blah, blah, blah. You know, like, I use this preset filter. You know? Yeah. But if you're sitting there and you're editing, like, I've made my bum smaller or bigger. Well, are the police going to raid your home

and find the original photo and then compare it? Or are you going to have to keep the original photo on your phone? And imagine lodging a complaint with their advertising standards authority like over there, like, I think she's pulled the hips in there. Yeah, and even if you made a complaint, then what are they going to do? Like, prove to us that this is the original? Yeah.

But then don't we all know that it's all filtered and touched up? Well, I mean, I don't know. Well, we've asked on our Instagram, do you think that influencers here in New Zealand should have to disclose the use of Photoshop and filters? 83% of people, thousands of votes have said, yeah,

definitely. Only 17% saying nah. Because that's the thing, you know that Instagram's not reality, but it can still make you feel bad. Like, when you're scrolling through and you're like, everyone's life is better than mine, you know? But at least it's good to know someone's having a better that Instagram's not reality, but it can still make you feel bad. Yeah. When you're scrolling through and you're like, everyone's life is better than mine. You know?

But at least it's good to know someone's having a better life that at least had to pull in their hips or, you know, smooth out their wrinkles. It might give you some joy. Yeah.

I don't know. Good luck with that one, Norway. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Friend of the show, lovely lady, Hilary Barry. She popped this on social media. Anything she puts on social media gets a fair bit of interaction. Yeah.

The news sites lap up the Hilbaz content. She's funny. And here we are. We're going to put our little snuffly nose into the trough of content that Hilbaz has swapped out for us. Yep. She, 23 hours ago, said, the most unusual conversation of the past 24 hours went like this.

A woman said, can I please get a selfie with you for my husband? Hilary Barry said, sure. Woman says, you're his leave pass, meaning like hall pass, meaning who he can sleep with outside of the marriage. Like free pass, like like hall pass, meaning who he can sleep with outside of the marriage. Like free pass. Like if it ever happened. And Hilary Barry said, your husband needs a better hall pass. That's a compliment.

But you know what? The husband is. But also. This is a realistic hall. Because, you know. Yeah, I thought it couldn't be like Kiwis. It can't be someone you can run into. It's more like international fame.

You got to readjust your rules. You're never getting in the hall. It's got to be un-assertainable. Yeah. Un-attainable. Un-assertainable? I don't think ascertainable is a word. What's that sort of word?

Why do they say that? Un-attainable. Un-attainable. It's got to be un-assailable. Un-assailable lead is where you'll never catch them. Un-attainable is also... Unattainable. It is ascertainable.

What is ascertainable, man? Ascertainable, capable of being ascertained or found out. Ascertainable facts are discoverable, determinable. Okay, so that could work. Unascertainable. God, sometimes I'm so accidentally smart. Unascertainable. The point is, your pass

card cannot be a person of local nature. They've got to be like a celebrity that's, you're never going to, like remember we ran into Hilary Barry at the um, the Girmores, the bulk play place.

Imagine if I was that lady's husband and I was getting a couple of big bags of flour. She's not going to sleep with you there. No one even asked if Hilary was keen. No. Yeah, obviously not. Well, she's happily married. She took it in good steed. But, yeah, see, people might not always take that right.

Yeah. That they're being fawned after. But we asked on our social media for your hall passes. Some samples. Just a sample of the nation for a hall pass. Why is it called a hall pass? Because you're getting out of class. You're getting out of class.

Your marriage is class. Oh, yeah, of course. You're getting a hall pass as an excuse to leave the classroom. For a pass card, yeah. The teacher is your partner, which is already problematic given that that's a morally questionable relationship and your partner is giving you the hall pass so you might go and explore the school when everyone else is in class.

It's in your emails. Am I reading it? Shit, I don't worry, I'll carry the whole break. I mean, he tells the Hilary Barry story. He looks up if acetoneable's a word he then gives an explanation

as to what a hall pass is but don't you'll get your night hood after the show he'll do that for the day next

but don't worry he'll also read out the list of hall passes you can read the list if you'd like Jesus Christ this is like a wheelbarrow and I'm lifting

and I'm the wheel and you draw those useless legs at the back you're the back legs on a wheelbarrow and I'm lifting and I'm the wheel. Oh, my God. And you draw those useless legs at the back. You're the back legs on a wheelbarrow. Like, oh, okay, you provide a bit of balance when it's stopped. But when it's in motion, when it's in motion, baby, hang on. I'd love to see you have a break and not have the back legs. Don't just flip it on its side.

Dumbass wheelbarrow legs. All right. List of more buses from Instagram. I mean, just behind the scenes, we did say before the show, Vaughan, the list is in your inbox. You're reading that out. Then given the legwork I did on the rest of the break, I thought someone would.

Who got you out of it? John Campbell. He's a national treasure and a total fox. He's a lovely man. He is, yeah. Would he be a frantic lovemaker, do you think? You know in an interview when he smells blood, he just pounces. He won't make the politician away with anything.

And he's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if I can look at him next time we run into him the same way. It's worth questioning. I'm going to ask Manny McClain what he thinks. I'll carry on the break. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not. Stop. So just hang what he thinks. I'll carry on the break. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not.

Stop. So just hang on, Wilbur O'Leary. Matt LeBlanc. Now, is that even after the Friends reunion? Say no more. What? He's not Matt LeBlanc that he was in the 90s. One.

But maybe they've also aged alongside Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, Han Solo. Who's answering these questions? I mean, I'm not. Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie. Sorry, I was just trying to pace the list. Both mine and my husband's.

She's in trouble. She's in trouble. Daddy Ashley Bloomfield, somebody else said. Okay. Harry Styles is another one. Is that your? Yeah. I don't know what I'd do if, I think I'd chicken out.

I don't think I could follow through with that. Could I? It's happening in my head. What about Mr. Toyboy, your husband's passcards? Because famously he does love the older birds. He, oh, you know he's got a penchant for Diane Keaton and her turtlenecks. And is it Helen Mirren or Judi Dench? Yeah, Dame Helen Mirren.

Or both. And Meryl Streep. Because Diane Keaton and Meryl Streep were in a movie together, right? And he was fizzing. Ooh, yuck. Ooh, yuck. What's that movie Book Club where there's like three older women and he was like, I love that movie.

He's certainly got a type. Excuse me. Wrinkly ass old woman. I'm not up to a turtleneck set. But this is great. You don't even need to worry about getting old and getting that thing

under your chin. The gobble. The gobble. He's so keen for me to start wearing turtlenecks. Does that mean I've got a gobble? No, I didn't say you had a gobble. I said when you get older and get a gobble.

Have you ever woke up and he's poking at your under chin and been like, not quite yet. Soon, my precious. Soon you'll be gobbling on top of a turtleneck. Don't put that moisturizer on. Remember when you put the turtleneck on, tuck the gobble into the turtleneck. Like, see the difference between this?

And if you, like, cleavage your gobble, Yeah, yeah. That's the difference there. Turtlenecks can be your friend or your foe. It's nice that he finds a gobble attractive. Magic Mike,

the XXL cast. What does that mean? Oh, the whole cast. Was Magic Mike XXL the sequel's name? It's the movie, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and three people, this is factual too,

I didn't compile this list. Three people, one including Maddie McLe and three people, this is factual too. I didn't compile this list. Three people, one including Maddie McLean, said Vaughan Smith's there. He's holding out hope for you, isn't he? I can see why. You've seen me single-handedly carry this radio show for the last... The wheelbarrow. That's what they call him. The wheelbarrow.

The sexy wheelbarrow. Yes. I'm actually really happy for that to go going forward to be my name, the sexy wheelbarrow. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about Wall Street. Wall Street in New York City. Okay.

In the borough of Manhattan. Because, you know, streets, if they've got a name like School Road, will be because the school was down there. Or Wharf Road. The wharf was at the end of it. Because it was a wharf, yeah. Rifle Range Road. There's every city.

Oh, yeah. Every city yeah. Rifle Range Road. There's every city. Oh, yeah. Every city has a Rifle Range Road, and it's because it's where the gun club or the Rifle Range was. Queen Street, because that's where the queen lives. Named in honour of the queen. Yeah. And all the queens. And there's King Street and Church Road and all of those ones.

So why is Wall Street called Wall Street? Oh, let me guess. There was a wall. Yes, go on. You're on the right path. That's all I've got. Okay. There was a wall for the money. No. Well before

the money. Okay. In 1653, the Dutch, who called it New Amsterdam, by the way. I like the hospital show. Is that set in New York? Yeah, in New Amsterdam Hospital. Well, that's, yeah, yeah,

because that's what New York used to be called before it was New York, when the Dutch got there. Right, okay. They called it New Amsterdam. They were, there was going to be an English invasion, so they built an earthen wall. Okay. And it followed that exact line of where the street is now,

where Wall Street is. So it was a street built next to what was the wall. They pulled the wall down. Okay. And that's where the buildings are now. But there was a big earthen wall so that they could, the English would have to come up and over it and the Dutch could do things like pour boiling oil on them.

And, you know, those sorts of neat things. Make them eat black licorice. What's that? Dutch licorice. Oh, that very salty one. I'd just go home. Try these delicious snacks. Was that South African?

It was a little bit. My Dutch is very South African. But the origins of the South African accent and language is Dutch, right? Yeah. So it'll often slip in there. So, yeah, next time someone says something about Wall Street, you can say, well, do you know why it's called Wall Street? And you can tell them about the earthen wall of which the Dutch built

to repel the English invasion. Fact of the day, day, Vaughan and Megan. So there's, this was a comment that was dropped this morning before the show. And it turns out that we all felt like we were the only ones but we are not when it comes to tv shows that you're really into um not watching the final episode because you don't want it to end which is like that's mind-blowing to me especially executive intern on your shits creek you have still to watch the very last episode no that's car's Carwen. For Schitt's Creek? Yep. So you've seen Schitt's Creek? I've seen, oh my god, that's

so hard to say. I've seen Schitt's Creek, but we dragged it out probably about four nights for the last episode. You watched the last episode over four nights? Yep. Well, you paused it. A seven minute instalment. Did you cry or something?

Yeah, because it's so beautiful. I think everybody oversold how emotional the final episode of? Like a cry or something? Yeah, because it's so beautiful. We just want it to end. I think everybody oversold how emotional the final episode of Schitt's Creek was going to be because when I got there, I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. It was good. It was good. No, no, it was good and stuff, but I wasn't crying.

Stone Cold Smithy. I wasn't crying. So, Carwen, you have still to see the last episode of Schitt's Creek. Yeah, it's just sitting there and I continue watching, taunting me. Is it because David dies? Why you don't want to watch it? Oh, my gosh. That is not what happens.

No, I just know that once it's done, it's done. It's over, yeah. Because I don't really re-watch shows except for Glee, so. Oh, what a terrible admission. We liked you until then, didn't we? Because I told you about this other show, It's a Sin. Yeah. Which is five eps or six?

Yeah, five or six. Oh, no. Is it only short? Oh, I just started it. It is like, I reckon that and Mirror of Eastwick, Easttown. Easttown. Eastbourne. It is like, I reckon those two shows are the best dramas of the year so far.

Right. And Carwen's done the same. She's not watching the last episode of It's a Sin. It's getting really emotional. Yeah. I can't handle that right now. Do you not find that when you watch these shows, if you binge it too quick, you're like,

and you feel like a... I'm sad when it's over, but I'm not going to wait. Because I did it with Jane the Virgin, but that's five seasons, and that was such a long period of my life, and everyone went on about the final episode. So I was like, I actually don't think I've watched it to this day because I didn't want it to be over.

And then you're like, okay, well, I have to park that whole. Was she a virgin? Did you finally find out whether or not she was a virgin? She was a virgin, yeah. Even right at the end? No, no, no. Did she have sex at the end? In the last episode?

She, spoiler alert, did it very early on in the seasons. Oh, change the name. That's misleading. Just call it Jane. Yeah, now it's Jane. Jane the. It's Jane. The Jane.

But, like, are you saving the final of Schitt's Creek for, like, a special occasion? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a little fun treat. Yeah. I hear you. You're like, you see it there and you're like, not the day. Not the moment. Yeah. It's like a little fun treat. Yeah, I hear you. You see it there and you're like,

not the day, not the moment. Yeah, I need time to profile. Now, will it be a day when you're like sad and you need cheering up or a day where you

feel things are going too well so you need to be like smashed back into earth? I need to be brought back down. Yeah. I can't deal with this. Also, God, it's annoying when you don't finish a show and it's constantly in whatever you're watching it on,

any of the streaming services. It's always like, continue watching, continue watching. It's right there. It's like, hey, remember me? You didn't finish me. But it's been so long I've just got used to it being there. Right. It is really hard because you've got to avoid,

you've got to go a certain period of time to avoid spoilers. You don't just want to smash it out. It's a real treat and you've got to savour it. But you just smash out the shows in the end. I feel like a pang of like, oh my God, it's over. Now what? Yeah, move on to the next show. All right.

Chug along. Yeah, right. Just keep going. Well, we would love to know if we're alone. Is there a TV show that you hesitated to finish or you took ages to finish? Because you knew that that was it, it was over after that. Yeah, you wanted to treat yourself and drag it out.

Like Carwen, you've just got last episodes just waiting there. For a treat. I honestly can't deal with this. You're so bemused. I'd love to know how big a thing this is. We would like to know if you ration a show. Three out of the six of us on this show like to take the slow and steady approach.

The scenic route. And then sometimes don't do the last episode or leave it for a bit as a treat. See, there's no closure for me. You don't want it to end. Olivia, have you been rationing a show? Did you ration a show? Yes.

I was obsessed with Lost. I watched it religiously whenever the new episode came out. Yep. And then when I found out it was finishing, I couldn't deal with it. So I didn't watch the last episode. And then I did maybe a year later, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on so it was even more disappointing maybe if I had a different...

No, I 100% agree. When you're watching a show that's heavy on the story and then you give it a break and you come back to it, you've got to watch the last few for the recaps to catch up again. Although, as someone who did famously watch that week to week and was very into it, the last episode was confusing and disappointing.

And a little bit of a letdown. So you probably could have just let that one go. Yeah. It really was, wasn't it? It was, yeah. And then it was a total letdown. Yeah, it was a bizarre, that was a bizarre ending. That's like, and that'd be like the top five worst endings for a TV show.

I'd say so, yeah. That and Dexter, which they are bringing back to make amends for that. I think they are, yeah. This year. Somebody said, I'm the opposite. If I get hooked on a show... Thanks, Olivia. The...

I just keep watching it, and it'll get to the point where I've got to get this done, so I'll watch it on one and a half or two speed just to get through it quicker. Oh, no, no. Then it's over so fast, you monster. Yeah, you're not watching it as it was meant to be watched. All right, keep your calls, texts coming in,

the shows that you've rationed, or you can't bring yourself to finish. We would like to know if there's anyone else as it was meant to be watched. All right, keep your calls, texts coming in, the shows that you've rationed, or you can't bring yourself to finish. We would like to know if there's anyone else that rations TV shows or maybe doesn't hit the last episode because you don't want it to end. Then it's over. Yeah.

Is there a psychology behind this? Like you not being able to deal with something ending or letting go? Yeah, not being able to let go of something. Not handling loss well. Especially with like Jane the Virgin or like Schitt's Creek when there's so many seasons and

episodes because you get so invested. Yeah. They feel like you're friends and then it's over. Maybe there is some kind of psychology. Because you know Schitt's Creek for example was one of those shows we all binged after the fact. We knew that it ended.

We all heard the rumors that it was an amazing ending. And it was. And then, yeah, it's gone. So you know that's coming. Yeah. So some text messages in. Somebody said, I fell so in love with the character Boxer on White Lines. This is a good show.

It's in English and Spanish. Oh, yeah. And so you read the subtitles in Spanish And you feel real smart It took two months to decide to watch the last two episodes It was lots of wine and chocolate Because it felt like the end of our relationship Yeah I get that That's crazy

I understand Katrina what did you ration Or you couldn't finish Game of Thrones I haven't watched the last season So you still haven't no see I almost think

that is make up your own ending or wait for the books yeah I almost think that's the best thing you could have done because not many people were happy with the ending

oh really so yeah I'm going to have to watch the entire series again yeah to be able to watch the final season. You've managed to avoid spoilers then?

You don't know what happens? No. It's been so long that I can't remember what everybody said. Wow. And was it, is it the fact that you've heard it's a rubbish last season

or that you just don't want it to ever end? No, just don't want it to end. Wow. It's so, it's't want it to end. Wow. It's fascinating. Thanks, Katrina. Some text messages in. Somebody said what people are describing sounds like separation anxiety.

Yeah, probably. Someone said the US show Shameless. That was my one. I grew up with the family. And then when it was over, but somebody else said the last episode was stunk anyway, so don't watch the last episode just live happily in the fact that

the Gallaghers are still out there doing their thing. If you relate so heavily to the characters and you've like experienced them for so long and then suddenly they're not, they don't exist anymore. It's really sad. Maybe this is why you know when you finish a great show and you're just scrolling through all the streaming, you're looking for your next show

just nothing ever feels right. You're looking for your next show just nothing ever nothing ever feels right are you like I can't do this now I haven't moved on from my last relationship yeah yeah yeah I've just broken up

with the ships the roses I can't be to watch a Fast and the Furious since Paul Walker died somebody said oh really because it feels like

Fast and the Furious without Paul Walker is not going to be Paul Walker it's not going to be Fast and the Furious without Paul Walker is not going to be Paul Walker. It's not going to be Fast and the Furious, is it? Yeah.

Well, that's when they just started like ignoring physics and stuff a bit more. I mean, they were pretty much ignoring physics the whole way along,

but they really just decided to rip the middle finger to it. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.