ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th June 2020

Episode Date: June 7, 2020

Community Notices  What Would Rae Rae Say?  Bloody Bathroom Scales  Dinner Party Debriefs  Am I a Bad Person?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Today's the day that Cabinet meet to decide about level one. Right. 16 days. Zero cases in a row. And but one active, pesky active case.

Who is this person? And that's the most exciting thing about the one o'clock now. I don't believe there'll be a new case. Although they do count, don't they count travellers? So if a New Zealand expat

arrives in and they've got COVID, they count that, don't they? As an active or a new. Because it's active in New Zealand.

Yeah. Which is surprising there hasn't been one of those in 16 days. Yeah, because what is it? Considering 200 New Zealanders

are arriving home a day from overseas, is that still... Which I find surprising. Wow. That's a lot of people. So has it been the one person this whole time?

Yes. Right? Have you tried a lemon honey? A couple of vitamin C pills. Yeah, get a Barocca in the morning. Yeah. Good Lord. But imagine when that becomes zero.

Well, that's what I'm most excited about. The day that that's a double zero. No new cases, no active cases. Yeah. That's the exciting stuff. That's the exciting stuff. That's the good stuff. Well, I'm sure we'll find out today, this afternoon. I'm sure they'll do their one o'clock.

Yep. And then they normally do another kind of announcement, don't they? Or maybe it'll be joint at one o'clock. What's the other announcement? Well, about what's happening. Oh, maybe it'll be a four o'clock then today. Yeah, because they do a one, yeah. The days where they've done the big, like, when we're going to level two and all that, they've done a four o'clock instead of a four o'clock then today. Yeah, because they do it one, yeah. The days where they've done the big like,

when we're going to level two and all that, they've done a four o'clock instead of a one o'clock. Right, well, it's assumed it'll be Wednesday because they give you 48 hours. 48 hours, yeah. Oh, exciting stuff. Back to level one, yeah. All right, coming up on the show, the top six. Yep, a kid.

And I'm going to say a kid because he is a kid. A 16-year-old has signed a four-year contract with the NRL for two million smackers. Can't even drink alcohol yet. Smackers. Or vote. Or earn two million dollars. You can't even vote or drink. Why, ciggies?

No. Good Lord. Anybody scratchy? Is that 16? Nah, that's 18. Is that 18 now? He can't vote, but he's suddenly in like the top taxies. No. Good Lord. Anybody scratchy? Is that 16? Nah, that's 18. Is that 18 now? He can't vote, but he's suddenly in like the top tax bracket. Yeah.

That's the thing he wouldn't know anything about. Tax brackets. Yeah. God, I would have gone crazy. 16 and $2 million? Well, the top six things you'd probably spend your money on if you were 16 and all of a sudden you earned $2 million. All right, that's coming up. Next, another person has only earned $1 million.

Oh, is that all? But doesn't have to get smashed by massive NRL players every week either. Well, we're talking OnlyFans next on the show. Maybe they do get smashed by an aerial player But slightly differently you know Someone has made a million dollars On OnlyFans And for what exactly OnlyFans is

We cross to OnlyFans expert Carl Peter Fletcher Why am I not the expert? You're the one that told me about it I haven't even heard of it before Why don't you blow your little mind apart Yeah Why am I? I'm not the expert. You're the one that told me about it. It feels wrong that I would. I haven't even heard of it before. Way to blow your little mind apart. Yeah.

Can you find like a Google to Scott? I don't know how to do this. Like you go on OnlyFans and you like have all your like naughty photos on there. And people subscribe and pay. So I know about this because my friend did it. She did it during lockdown. She's in Australia. She was telling me about it.

Made like 300 bucks in the first week. So I was just like, what? People have got to want to see your photos though. Megan, you do raise a very good point. But there is someone for everybody. And there's tears. Thank you. There's tears, right?

And I'm not talking the tears that scroll down your face, scream down your face when you're on OnlyFans and no one wants to pay to see your bum hole. And your parents stumble upon it. Those kind of tears. Well, you've got to ask your dad what he was doing on OnlyFans. But so there's tears from what I know, from what you told me. There's entry level where you pay, like, say,

I'm not going to say either of you because that's unrealistic that people would pay, but let's say I'm not going to say either of you because that's unrealistic that people would pay, but let's say I'm on there. To be fair, you would have a big gay beer daddy audience. Yes. I think people would pay. It's a moneymaker. It's a moneymaker.

So, entry level, let's just chuck some figures around here. Five bucks a month. You just get to see the photos that are probably on Instagram or whatever. Yeah, right. Or just me lounging about. Would they be like hot lingerie photos?

No, shit no. Oh, no. We're talking tier three. Tier two, you probably just get more. Yeah. Slightly more. Maybe a nip slip. Risqué, maybe topless.

Yep, okay. Three sexy lingerie, and then it goes up. Yeah, right. And I'm imagining top tier, most people, for enough money, would show you their bum holes. Probably. Yeah, sure. So that's... But what's to stop those people from sharing those pictures around? Don't know.

I don't know enough about it to know what would stop. Because I know there's some things that you can't screen cap on your phone, right? You can't screenshot Netflix shows. Yeah, it won't let you. Because I was going to show someone a scene once and screenshot it. It just goes black.

Yeah. So maybe that happens. What about screenshotting on your computer? You know how you can screenshot on your laptop? Yeah, I'd have the whole screen. So she's made a million dollars. Yeah, so this Welsh woman's made a million dollars. And how long? On OnlyFans. Dani, I don't know how long she's made a million dollars. Yeah, so this Welsh woman's made a million dollars. And how long?

On OnlyFans. Dani, I don't know how long she's been on. She said the last few weeks have been huge. Because everyone's locked down. But do people know you can get it for free online? Yes. I don't know the attraction to this because it's not like a dating website. It's not like you get to hook up with them in the end.

They just really like that particular person. Maybe. And then they feel a personal connection because they're paying the money and they might be getting like if you're paying enough then you just get like direct photos. But she's made a million dollars

on OnlyFans from people paying to see her stuff, I guess. She's got 219,000 followers on Instagram and 200-something thousand on Twitter. Now, that's the other thing about this OnlyFans. Apparently, it's given Twitter a bit of a second life. Oh, I should have deleted my Twitter. Twitter to promote your OnlyFans. But I'm just looking at Instagram.

I don't know what you're getting when you're paying for OnlyFans because there's a fair bit here. Yeah, right. I can see how she's made a million dollars. She's not unattractive, is she? She's not my cup of tea. Guys, you know how that radio consultant always, like, Skypes in and says, you know what you should do?

If you talk about something on the East, you'd nudge it and do something more with it. Maybe we should all set up an OnlyFans account and have a competition to see who makes the most money. Again, no one's going to pay. Oh, yeah, that's not going to work. But then what if someone swooped in and was like, okay, here's $100,000. Show me your bum hole.

I don't want that out there. Oh, I was like, ooh. I know because Megan would do that for $100,000. I've told you there's not much I wouldn't do for $100,000. Oh, my. God, I just want to win Lotto and win millions of dollars just so I can pay you to do the most outrageous things. I would.

Yeah, I know you would. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. University of Oxford. The University of Oxford have done research and they say that people who use bathroom scales could do better at losing weight. Right. So people who weigh themselves often. Yeah.

Regularly. Yeah. Are more successful at losing weight and keeping it off. I guess that's what, because you step on the scales after a big day of exercise and or eating and instantly you've got your result. There is accountability. Yeah.

Or in the morning you can be like, okay, well today maybe I don't have treats and maybe I need to go to the gym or something. So people self-regulate better when they weigh themselves. I get that, though. It's that immediate accountability. So there are some scales at the gym in the changing rooms and people weigh themselves all the time.

Yeah. And you see their face. Like, oh, I've become addicted to looking at their face and you sometimes see sheer disappointment. And sometimes you see like, but I'm like, I don't think you should step on the scales all the time. No, I don't think you should either. Especially females, because depending on what time of the month it is, you can be heavier

just because of... Payday. Yeah. Get paid, go a little crazy. Yeah. I'm feeling your sister. You might be like, oh my god, I'm a kg heavier, but I've been trying really hard. Well, it's like the wrong time of the month. Oh, but then you've got to account for that. You're like, well, that's because it's this time of the

month. Yeah. Can't be that hard on yourself. Yeah. You're like, well, that's because it's this time of the month. Yeah. Can't be that hard on yourself. Yeah. I don't know. Is it a healthy thing to do? If you are keeping track, you would see that it goes up every time that happens. So that's to be accounted for. Don't let that bring you down. Do you think you should do it once a week instead of every time you go to the gym?

That's when I did Jenny Craig, that's what they said. Once a week. They said you do it once a week at the same time in the same conditions. So you do it like first thing in the morning on a Monday. Yeah. Well, that might be confronting after the weekend. Maybe pick a time that's going to be kinder to you. But then that says to you over the weekend, don't go too crazy, doesn't it?

Don't go too crazy. But that's the advantage of not weighing yourself on the Friday before the craziness. Yeah, right. Because then you could be heavier come the Monday if you haven weighing yourself on the Friday before the craziness. Yeah, right. Because then you could be heavier come the Monday if you haven't weighed on the Friday. Yeah. Yeah, because if you did it on the Friday, you'd be like, yeah, blow out for the weekend, and then I'll get back to it next week. Yeah, and then you weigh yourself on the Monday, and you're like, oh, I blow out too much.

What's wrong with that, really? Yeah. Like, as long as you're being, you know. Well, if you've been exercising, you go to the gym every day or every couple. Still getting exercise, aren't you? Because I thought they used to say that it wasn't healthy to, like, weigh yourself all the time. And now they're like, people who weigh themselves do better. But then I think that's healthy, like, depending on your personality, right?

Right. If you're obsessive. Yeah. That's probably not going to be helping. But if you need it to motivate and personally, what's the word I'm after here? Keep track of yourself. Regulate.

Yeah. If you need to do it regularly to track it because that's how you work. But if you know, if you're weighing yourself every day and it makes you sad, then don't. Just say to yourself, muscle weighs more than fat. But it doesn't because they weigh the same. But it just, muscle just takes up less room. Aww. That's another thing. That's what I've been

telling myself. No, but if you're putting on muscle, yep. Yes. It weighs more. Yeah. Yeah. No, it doesn't weigh more than fat. It weighs fat and muscle. Well, everything weighs the same. It just takes up less space. Yes.

Less space. Yes. Okay. That's why it looks like nothing's changed when you put on weight because the muscle's getting bigger, but it's hiding. Okay, right.

Yeah, great. That's what he tells you. Next on the show, community notices. Oh, yeah. The weird and wonderful things that you see on your local Facebook pages. You screenshot them,

send them in to us. We've got some real pearlers, and it has all kicked off on the New Zealand Veg and Edible Gardening page. Of course it has. It really has. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

ZM FM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there, and welcome to Community Notices. Let's delve into a post from Julie. Now, I don't know what page this was posted on. I believe this may have just been a status update. Okay. Julie says, how do I create a page within my Facebook for my horse's semen?

Wow. What? How do I create a page within my Facebook for my horse's semen? Julie. Wow. What? I think Julie wants to sell the horse's semen. Does she have a thoroughbred? Or a racehorse? I don't know. I would think you have to, to be a thoroughbred,

they actually have to fornicate the old-fashioned way. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. Horse wang and horse shiny, as they used to say. Back at old veterinary school. That has to be a thoroughbred.

Oh, your messy days. Vet school, yeah. Woo, baby. Those times in Palmy, eh? You've still got that nerd calendar that you did? You and all the other vet students? That's right. That's how we raise money. Yeah, yeah, baby. Those times in Palmy. Still got that nerd calendar that you did. You and all the other vet students. That's how we

raised money. Anyway, it all came crashing down didn't it? Yeah. Turns out you can't do that to an armadillo.

We live and we learn. But Julie, I don't think she must be selling it pre-packaged because otherwise you'd be selling the horse's

services. Yeah, right. But then I don't know. Well, someone needs to talk to her about pages on Facebook. Yes, setting up pages. But then maybe more of a marketplace. Yeah, true. Yeah.

Fair call. Lots of weird things to sell on marketplace. I've still never used marketplace. No, neither. I've seen a couple of, is this still available? And people hate when you do that. Oh, yeah, but then take it down. If it's not, yeah.

Take it down. That's on you if you don't take something down. Yeah, and it was posted like eight days ago. I just need a little update. Yeah. You're still trying to find a trailer, aren't you? Yeah, I'm still trying to find a trailer. A really good one came up.

Yeah. Okay, and this is, it was posted at one o'clock in the morning. This was last week. On Marketplace. On. Okay. And this is suspicious. It was posted at one o'clock in the morning. This was last week. On Marketplace. On Marketplace. And I saw it at work. So it hadn't been up that long and it had been up in the midnight hours. Okay.

And it had been posted on like eight pages. Yep. For sale. Right. And I was like, this is suspicious. Very cheap. Nice trailer. And I messaged five saying, keen as. Yep. In the morning. Yep. And they said, this is suspicious. Very cheap. Nice trailer. And I messaged at five saying, keen as.

Yep. In the morning. Yep. Keen as. And they said, sorry, sold. When they got back to me at like nine, I was like, what's going on here? Was it cheap because it was yellow and had BP on the side of it? And they may have water blasted that part off, but it definitely had that feel to it.

Ah, the Hamilton app is the next page we're going to. I didn't even know that there was an app. The Hamilton app. Oh, okay. But it says, a rogue turkey has appeared overnight and is keeping one bed bird-weary Fairfield resident homebound with its antics in her backyard. Annalise, who lives on Ross Crescent

says the plump turkey gave her quite a shock when she opened her curtains this morning. It was just there on the front lawn, she says, and I don't know what to do. I'm petrified of birds. Despite Annalise propping open the gate, the turkey's refusing to leave and is happily pecking away. She's posted a few photos of the fowl taken from the safety of the house

on the residents of the Fairfield Woodstock Facebook page, but despite a few suggestions of its suitability for Christmas dinner, its owner has yet to be found. I was just going to say, yeah, nurture it for the next five and a half months. Yeah. Christmas dinner. Feed it acorns. Oh, really?

Is that what they eat? If it will eat them. Right. I know that we always used to feed acorns to the ducks before duck shooting. And then they take on the nut. Yeah, give them a nutty, nutty flavour. What about, could you do Nutella and then you could have chocolate? You want a chocolate chicken.

You can't shoot a duck when it's on the ground or in the lake. And if you feed it nothing but Nutella, it's not going to be fast. It's not going to be flying, is it? Guys, you know I'm all about flavor infusion. You've infused the flavor into the word. Yeah, exactly. Next up, let's pop along to the New Zealand veggie and edible gardening page, which I didn't even know it was a page, but I'll be doing it. Yeah. Next up, let's pop along to the New Zealand veggie and edible gardening page, which I didn't even know it was a page, but I'll be doing it.

Okay. A post came in from Sandy. I think I read on here that I should have added sand to my veggie soil to avoid my carrots looking like Donald Trump's penis. My alpaca loved them, though. And there she's got some short, stubby carrots. And I don't know, but I believe that happens when the ground's too hard packed for the carrot to push through as it grows, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that why? So you've got to have what? Sand softens it up. Sand softens it and gives it a bit of space and it can compress through. Oh, nice. Well, her funny joke about her carrot looking like Donald Trump's penis didn't please everybody.

Oh, really? John has written, Is there any page anymore that's family friendly? I'm so sick and tired of this crap. Everywhere I look. Katie says, now is it the penis bit or the Trump bit that you're upset about?

And that's a fair call. Yeah, because old white men, you can trigger them, aren't you, with a Trump? And somebody else said, you're giving Trump a lot of credit, is what I'm saying. Well, John comes back and he said, it's just a totally ignorant remark, Sarah.

This is not a political nor a smut page. You'll find other forums for that crap. Wow. And Sandy says, I saw a naked photo of Trump getting a spray tan yesterday. I vomited in my mouth when I pulled out these tiny carrots. Thought to myself the world doesn't need any more orange dicks so I turned them into alpaca poo.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to state my disgust. John said, I don't give a damn what you think or spew. My point is this is not a forum for that crap. John needs to lighten up. John needs some edibles. He's very that would relax him a little bit. But maybe a little bit too much.

And finally, this one. How's this one for a mystery? The Kapiti Coast community page. Possibly a long shot. And yes, I've done a Facebook search. But at the beginning of March, I got a text from a lady called Ursula asking me to fish sit for three to five weeks as she had to go away. I've not heard from her since and I still have her fish. I've lost her number so

I have no way to contact her and I'm happy to keep the fish but also happy to give them back if she wants them. Does anyone know a lady that might match this description? She has a school aged child and that's all the info I have. Wait, so how did he even hook up with her in the first place to look

after a fish? Must be a well-known fish sitter. Must have previously offered fish sitting services. But also what an ingenious way of getting rid of your pets that you don't want anymore. What if something happened to her on holiday? Well, she's stuck in like a COVID

country and can't get home. At the start of March. We knew at the start of March it wasn't a time to be going overseas, right? Well, she's stuck in like a COVID country and can't get home. At the start of March. We knew at the start of March it wasn't a time to be going overseas. Right. Also, no one was going away in March. No. I think he's been done. He's been had. But he said he's happy to keep the fish. Just keep the fish then.

Yeah, but you don't want to grow attached to a little Nemo. And then she comes back and you've fallen in love with a fish. And you've got to break up with the fish. Heartbreak. I know. Absolute heartbreak.

And they'll remember you for eight seconds. Yeah. Forget about you totally and not know what's going on. I thought it was three seconds. Nah, it's actually way longer than eight seconds now, isn't it? Didn't they confirm that? Yeah. Those are today's community notices.

If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours, FEMZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Prince William, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, had been doing volunteer work during lockdown, it's been revealed. Just on the down low, they were working for a crisis helpline. So Prince William was texting people.

He was texting people. He was texting people mental health advice. So people who felt anxiety, they could be grieving a loved one, anyone who needed help. It could be bullying, relationship issues, anything. They could have been texting Prince William and they reckon

that he would have been using a pseudonym if needed to use a name. But yeah, you could text Shout, this 24-hour crisis messaging service, and, yeah, Prince William could have texted you back. Because he could never be actually answering phones, like a lifeline kind of service, because otherwise people would find that out and ring, wouldn't they? Yeah, and you definitely know his voice, I reckon.

Yeah, he's got that royal accent. No, because heaps of people in Britain have got that voice. No, because he's all like plumbing his mouth proper. Extra posh. If you put on an accent, they'd be like, All right, governor. How are you, mate? To sound like a common person.

Yeah, I'm not doing so good. Oh, shit. No good, sir, governor. Tell me what's wrong. It's definitely not Prince William. Carry on. So he had special training as well, obviously, to do this volunteer work. But he's one of 2,000 volunteers.

Wow. But he was doing it on the secret. And Kate was volunteering by calling and checking in on people who were self-isolating or vulnerable. So you would know that it was her. Kate Middleton's just like, are you okay? Do you think you'd recognise her voice though? It doesn't sound like she was

doing it like on the sly. Yeah, right. But then you'd think if someone was like, hello, it's Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. Just seeing if isolation's going, you'd be like, Prankle, who's this? Yeah. She'd have to use a fake name be like, Prankle, who's this? Yeah.

She'd have to use a fake name, right? Prankle, who dears? So. I don't know what, I don't think I'd feel like opening up to her. I'd be like, no, I'm okay. Thank you. Want to keep her on the phone. Yeah. How's Louie? What are you doing during isolation? I always forget about Louie. I know, it was a big deal made out of Charlotte and George and then Louie and everyone's like, meh. Forget about Louie. Yeah. We've was a big deal made out of Charlotte and George and then Louis and everyone's like, nah. Forget about Louis. Yeah. We've seen a photo of Louis lately. Maybe that's what we need.

Yeah. The post-COVID world. Is he not as cute as the other ones? I think he looks exactly like George. Oh, okay. One direction all over again, isn't it? Top six next. Oh, Louis.

I forgot about that Louis too. I know he does. He gets forgotten about too. That's why I made the comment. Yeah, Louis. I forgot about that, Louis, too. I know he does. He gets forgotten about, too. That's why I made the comment. Yeah, the top six next. A 16-year-old's been signed to the NRL for four years on a $2 million contract at 16. Madness. The top six things I would have spent $2 million on at 16.

Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Joseph Suwali. I apologize if I'm saying that name wrong. Suwali is a 16-year-old, and he has become the youngest millionaire in rugby league history because he signed a $2 million four-year contract with the South Sydney Rabbitohs.

Is that Russell Crowe's club? That's his favourite team. He loves the Rabbitohs. Isn't he like an... Is he a part owner or something? Yeah, I feel like he did own... I don't know if he still does, but there was a few seasons there.

I mean, this season probably very much into it because he'll be... He might be isolating in LA, but he might also be stuck in Australia. Does he still own the? 50% owned by the actor Russell Crowe and 50% owned by James Packer's Consolidated Press Holdings.

Oh, right. Hmm. Interesting. Well, if you know Wayne Bennett, who's been a coach in the NRL for ages, bit of a rugby league legend, this 16-year-old towers him by like three inches.

He's huge. Have you seen the photo? Jeez, he's massive. He is a unit. So that's going to be exciting. He played for King's School, the first 15. At 14 years of age, he was playing for the first 15 for King's. I don't imagine I would want to have met him in a tackle

No He's 197 centimetres Yeah, so he's just shy of two metres So he'll end up being two metres, right? Well, if he's only 16 He might get a little bit of a growth that'll push him over that Yeah He was offered a massive three-year contract with the New South Wales Waratahs

But that wasn't until he turned 18. So he was, they were beaten to the post by the Ramadais. Imagine being offered that much money when you're 16. Like most people will be at a part-time job when they're 16, if they're lucky, right? Yeah. Turning like minimum wage. Yeah. And he is loaded.

So the top six are things I would have spent $2 million on at 16 in 2020. Number six, so many snacks and junk food that I would have been in no shape to play 80 minutes of rugby league. And I would have

I know, right? That I would have voided my own efforts thus far. Just been able to eat it all. Number five on the list of the top six things I would have spent

$2 million on at 16 in 2020 are all the Fortnite skins. Free game to download, but then you get in and there's all these cool looking character skins. Yeah. Very expensive game to play when you're playing it that way. And then add that up with the junk food and the sitting around. You're going to be in no shape for 40.

Yeah, but how would you do all that? And at place number four, I would buy the biggest TV you could possibly buy. Yeah, I would have done that too. It would have been definitely like, assuming 16, you're still at mum and dad's place. Yeah, mum's like, where do you think you put in that? They hear a wall go,

creak, and you've got the TV, you've got the TV bracket on a non-load bearing wall and it's a little bit too much weight. Yeah. And it's pulling the house down. Number three on the list of the top six things that I've spent $2 million on at 16.

A car that would just scream to the police, pull me over and check that I own this. Ever see a young-looking teenager driving because a lot of, you see teenagers driving BMWs that maybe mum had.

Yep. I know, yeah, okay, that just driving BMWs that maybe mum had. Yep. I know, yeah, okay, that's so poor. That's very poor. Hand me down Beamer. But then you see like, mum, why can't I have a new one? You see like a young person driving a near brand new BMW or something and you're like, what's going on here? Trucks?

Or just dad's Beamer? Rich mummy and daddy. Simple rich mummy and daddy. Yeah. But surely they'd buy them. What? Well, they're safe cars, right? I'd buy mine a Volvo if I had the money.

Safest cars on the road. Not exactly attractive. No. But aren't they always deemed the safest cars on the road? I don't know. Volvos? Anyway. Number two on the list of the top six

things I'd have spent $2 million on at 16. A boat. I don't even want a boat. I personally got no interest in boats. But you know, then you've got a boat. So if it's a nice hot day and people are like, should we take the boat out? You could be like, yeah. You guys go. I've got to stay here and play

Fortnite. I've just spent $8,000 on getting all the skins. And I've got all this junk food and Fortnite. I've just spent $8,000 on getting all the skins. Yeah. And I got all this junk food and this massive TV. And number one on the list of the top six things I'd have spent $2 million on at 16 in 2020, Pornhub Premium. No further comment.

It's just that we've all wondered what's different about it. What are you getting for your money? And who is more curious than a 16-year-old with cash? Yeah, that's true. Just saying. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I want to talk about a couple in the UK.

Now, they were married for 22 years when they decided to split up. They did have three children. They had a business together as well. They were part owners in a care home. So what, like a rest home? Wow. And they broke up. And as you do when you break up a marriage,

you'd probably be better to explain this, Megan. You split the assets. You split the assets or you calculate the value of everything and then you split the value. And some people have to pay others out because you're holding on to more valuable assets. So you might have to sell the business if one person wanted it or they couldn't afford to. Or buy the other one out.

Well, over two years, this legal fight happened and they spent £600,000 so double that $1.2 million New Zealand. They spent $1.2 million in legal fees and

at the end of it, they are left with $10,000 New Zealand dollars each. What's the point of that? They were so, I guess it was the principle for them, they were so pig-headed. But then they just, they got the same amount in the end anyway. Yeah. Oh, my God. I know.

That's not. It always blows my mind when people get so set on winning, but the only people winning are lawyers and the legal fees. It blows your mind how much lawyers charge. Sometimes I can understand the principle for lawsuits where you're up against a big company or someone was wronged. Totally. But in a relationship, just like call it and divide it up. At least me and my ex-husband were so both tight with money, we didn't want to pay lawyers. So you'd rather just settle and move on.

Okay, fine, you had that, I'll have this. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. The lawyers are the only ones that won to the tune of 1.2 million New Zealand dollars. That's not only divorces, but also like when someone, when there's a will and someone thinks they're not getting enough and so they want to contest the will

and they have to get lawyers involved. That always blows my mind too. Lawyers, somebody I know was on the way to their family's will contesting and didn't know, got on the lift. These people didn't know who he was.

And on the way on the lift up, the lawyer's like, oh, I haven't seen you for a while. Oh, what are you doing? Oh, we're doing this family wheel. And he's like, oh, I'm the other lawyer. And he's like, oh, let's hope this goes on for a couple of weeks. Easy money.

And then gets out of the lift with them and goes into the same room and they look at him like, uh-oh. Yeah, and he's like, oh, these guys were in the lift on the way up saying how easy they're going to take this family for lots of money. So if we could just all get this wrapped up so at easy they're going to take this family for lots of money. So if we could just all get this wrapped up so at least something's left for somebody. Wow. I love that.

That's brilliant. But I thought could we talk this morning about those times when a relationship broke up and things got petty over like who got what? Like it didn't need to involve lawyers. Maybe it did. But I don't know. You know, there's just maybe some things that you wanted. Yeah wanted and that rather than give it to them, I don't know, you just throw the Xbox into the ocean or the PlayStation. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Or you burnt the house down rather than giving half to her or him. I don't know. You said, you know, sure, you can have the PlayStation, but on the way when they were coming around to pick it up, you microwave it for 30 seconds, you know, sure, you can have the PlayStation, but on the way when they were coming around to pick it up, you microwave it for 30 seconds. You know, just to make sure. That's really good actually.

That's not going to work. It is, isn't it? Yeah. A little bit of sabotage. Yeah. We want to talk about when it got a little petty in the separation. A UK couple have nothing left basically, right? Oh, it's all gone to lawyers.

$1.2 million in legal fees. And they're left with $10,000 each. What a waste. What a waste of money. How angry are you? Yeah. Your argument just cost you how much? $1.2 million.

Million dollars. Yep. That's nuts. What a hell of an argument. But then if you were that stubborn and you hated the other person that much. I'm very stubborn, but I think my tightness exceeds my stubbornness. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Me too. I'm stubborn until it starts costing me too much money. And they're like, all right, then, fine. Don't get me wrong. I will hold the grudge for the rest of my living days. So we want to know from you when you've got petty, when a relationship's broken up. Yep.

I believe we've got Claudia on the phone. Okay. Hi, Claudia. Hi. Hi. When did it get petty in a breakup? My ex actually moved all of his crap out yesterday and took a $20 microwave that we purchased together

and I use every day to heat our son's milk up in. Oh my God. What a prick. What a cuss. Yeah. Yes, yes. We'll let you have that one. Not wrong.

He could have taken anything else. It had to be the microwave. Can we get you a new microwave? Oh, that's really kind. I actually managed to get one late last night. Oh, that's good. Because we're just going to rip the one out from work because we've got like five here.

Yeah. We could have just given you one of those. And you know what? I even would have given it a spray and wipe for you. Oh, yeah, that's even kinder. It's nasty. Right. Okay.

Oh, no, I'm glad you got a microwave, but that's a shit move on his behalf. Yeah, to... Oh, absolutely, yeah. To your kid as well. Yeah, brilliant. All right, Claudia, thanks for your call. I like to think every meal he's going to eat from here on out is going to be microwave Claudia.

Yeah. Anna, how did it get pity with a breakup? Well, we broke up and then a week later he slept with my best friend. So he was really big into magic and gatherings. When he came to pick up his card, I ripped his blue eyes white dragon in half, which apparently is a very important card. Okay. So now we know the very top end of the story.

Magic the Gathering's like a card game. But for further correspondence on Magic the Gathering, we go to the show's Magic the Gathering expert, our producer, Jared. What are we talking about here? It's actually not a Magic the Gathering card, but it is quite an expensive card from a different game. Oh, right. Okay. What

game's it from? A game called Yu-Gi-Oh. Yu-Gi-Oh, right. How much would this card be worth? I don't actually know. Do you know, Anna? No, not a clue, but he was still quite upset about it. Now, is there a blue-eyed white dragon equivalent in Magic the Gathering? There'd be a few.

There's definitely a few rare, expensive cards you wouldn't want to get ripped off. All those 400 Tinder matches, I can just hear them right now unmatching. And you know what? I can hear a couple more matching. Thanks, Anna. Thank you, Jared. Somebody said, 10 years ago, my mum got divorced from her second husband. She went through his whole wardrobe and cut every second stitch in his work suit.

Oh, my God. So it would go on what just with a quick unpacking and just slowly the seams would just fall apart by the time we got to work it would be a slow like move around a little bit for a few hours yeah and then just like yeah oh my god that's brilliant that's brilliant um previous relationship i left in Melbourne, my ex-boyfriend's so petty he decided to keep our pet dog Peaches and not let me see her when I moved back. Oh, that's not on.

That's hard not to see the old dog. I would have sort of gone to the fence with a snitchel and then picked him up and taken him. A snitchel. Like not a crumb snitchel. Just the snitchel. Oh, probably a crumb schnitzel. Just the schnitzel. Oh, probably a crumb. Yeah, surely Peaches has got to go outside at some time.

For a steak or something. A dog napping. You do hear about pet napping. Yeah. In like relationship breakups. Technically it's yours, so it's not pet napping. No, but you've got to organise a custody. A custody arrangement.

Yeah, right. Or get one of those big dog roll luncheon things on a string. Why do they get Peaches until the custody's arranged? Yeah, Peaches and custody. Yum! Brilliant. Now I want custard. And peaches.

Yeah. Yum. And a bit of vanilla ice cream. All right, 19 past seven. Next on the show, Megan's mum joins us for another game of What Would Ray Ray Say Some? Sage advice. Advice!

It's next. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. What Would Ray Ray Say? Good morning, Mum. Or Ray Ray. Good morning. Good morning, team. Good morning.

Good morning. How's life in Nelson? Sweet. Yeah, everyone's out and about. Feeling a bit more normal? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, we're getting there. Are you excited for Level 1 next week? Oh,

no, we've already started Level 1. Ray Ray. He's there in the South Island. Really? South Island, we haven't got all those germs that you've got up there, so we've already started. You're a significantly fewer germs. Wow, okay.

Alright, well, Ray, this is a segment where we take your no-nonsense advice for problems that our listeners have. Are you ready, Mum? Yes. Okay, let's rip into it. How much wine is too much for an evening tipple with dinner?

Too much. I don't think you can ever have too much for an evening tipple with dinner. Too much. I don't think you can ever have too much because you've got to keep your fluids up. That's what the doctor always says to you when you go to the doctor. You must keep your fluids up. And wine? You have a small glass, but you always fill it to the top. Okay. That's a good way of looking at it.

The next day, you know you've had too much the next day. If you wake up in the morning in yesterday's clothes and you can't remember what you had for dinner, well, then you know you've had too much. So if you can remember dinner, you don't have a drinking problem? Kind of. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. And how can I tell my best friend I like his mum? Oh, look, this one is simple, especially for you boys. You tell him you saw his mum at the gym and she was doing yoga and you reckon she's hot and you really like her. But is it not? That's like one of Justin's friends being like, you're hot. Justin's my brother.

Is that not weird? Are you telling me that age matters? No. Yeah, she's got you there. No, you know I'm not. They're more their proponents. Well, he's only saying that he likes her. I mean, crikey, it doesn't matter how old you are.

If she's got it, she's got it. Yeah. But I guess it's just weird that she's got it, she's got it. Yeah. But I guess it's just weird that it's the friend, you know? Yeah. Yeah, well, get rid of him. Get rid of the friend and then you'll be right. This is exactly the opposite of the saying, um, misters before sisters or whatever that, bros before hoes.

Yeah, right. Oh, okay, haven't heard of that one. Have you? Put that in the file of facts. Need before greed, maybe. Yeah. Or something. That's a good one too.

So essentially you're saying if the mum's hot, then it's not her fault. Yeah, she can't help it if she looks great in leotards at the gym, can she? Yeah. Could have real thing for the gym, don't you? Yeah, real. I did that especially for you boys because you know I'm hot on the gym. Yeah, you're very hot.'ve got a real thing for the gym, don't you? Yeah, I did that especially for you boys because, you know, I'm hot on the gym. Yeah, you're very hot. Yeah.

Hot on the gym. I thought that was great. Yeah, a lot happens at the gym. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. I don't think I want to know. Thanks, Mum.

Yeah, I think there's more questions about what you're doing at the gym. I think you're going to be banned from the gym soon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think I might be. Okay, Ray, Ray, Ray, thank you so much. Okay, guys, have a good day. You too. Bye-bye. See you. Yeah. No, I think I might be. Okay, Ray, Ray, Ray, thank you so much. Okay, guys, have a good day. You too.

Bye-bye. See you. All right, coming up on the show, we need to chat about something that happened at the dinner party that Megan and I weren't invited to at the weekend. I didn't see that. It was a different audience. Did you see that he got up super early to prepare meats?

I was like, you don't even get up that early and make it on time to work. Yeah, but true, you guys aren't delicious. You got up at 4am. Yeah. Mad. Madness. But then went back to bed. Right.

For a little bit. All right. I'll do that. I'll get up that early for work if I can go back to bed once I get here. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I had some friends over for dinner. This is our first, like, group social gathering post-COVID.

Lockdown, are you right? Yeah, post-COVID lockdown. Okay. And why went Megan and I invited? Because I saw you all week last week. But you put on social media the food that you had, and I was like, yum. We would have been down for that.

Yeah, I would have just come for a takeaway. Wildly over-cated. I should have left some out of the gate. I would have just come and picked it up. I was going to bring more. I was going to bring some in, but I forgot. There's lots of leftovers. Horrendously over-cated, but that's life.

Boohoo. Just punched my microphone in case you wondered what that noise was. Completely accidentally. We were at the, during the dinner party discussing, because I had barbecued and I'm happy to do all that by myself. You love it. It's like a sport for you. It's your sport.

Cooking meat. It's so much fun. Yeah. It's like a bit of science and a bit of everything. And then when it came to the cutting of it, I was like, I'll just take care of this. Well, that's your reward, right? Cutting it.

Yeah, the cut open, the reveal. You can't let someone else cut it open. That's come good. And then our friend Jana said to her husband, Mark, get in there and help Vaughn cut the meat. And he was like, Vaughn doesn't want help. You didn't want it.

And then I found that out later on and I was like, no, no, no, it was fine. Like I didn't, there wasn't enough room and I knew what I had to do and what order and it was fine. And then he said, I'll be hearing about this in the car ride home. And I was like, oh my God, you guys do that too. Like when you're driving home from somewhere, it's like your wife has memoed things that pissed her off about you during the thing that she doesn't want to bring up in front of other people because it would make her seem crazy.

But when there's no one else around and when you're just saying you sound crazy, that only makes her angrier. Yeah, right. But she knows that it's crazy because that's why she didn't bring it up in front of other people that you get this sort of like debrief of everything you did wrong. No, she doesn't want to embarrass you in front of everyone by bringing it up in front of everyone.

But what kind of things would she say to you in the car home from a dinner? Me? Yeah. I always get, you didn't talk to so-and-so very much. No, it's because I don't want to. You missed the part where I didn't want to talk to anybody. Right. Yeah. I only went because if I hadn't, you'd have made a big deal about it. Oh my God. We're going to

so-and-so's house. And this is me. And then this is me five minutes before we have to leave to go to so-and-so's house. I'm mowing the lawns, by the way, right now. And she's waving and I'm like, come on. And I'm tapping my watch like, I've got plenty of time. Mowing my lawns further away from the house. You are such an introvert. I don't want to go.

But anyway, you end up going. But that's always what I get on the way home. But is it because you're expected to talk to the male partners while the girls have a goss or something? Yeah, and just everybody. Yeah, right. That's kind of what goss or something. And just everybody. Yeah, right. That's kind of what you do when you go to a social. Which I'm fine with.

The small group on Saturday was a small group. That's fine. But any more than that, I just find it's too many. And then sometimes the partners are a bit weird, aren't they? You don't want to talk to them. Yeah. You've written them off a long time ago. Maybe they've got weird views that don't align with yours.

And you're like, I'm not talking to him or them. Well, they, yeah, there was a guy once and he was bragging about a private school and I was like, this isn't a conversation I want to have.

Do you not do this to Mr. Toyboy in the car? No, when we get in the car to leave like a social function, we talk about everyone else. Oh, you just do it. Like you collect moments that you want to discuss and debrief on the way home.

But it's not, I can't remember ever sitting down and being like, you did this or that. You did this wrong. Yeah, no. Okay. He's pretty well behaved. He's been. He's been told, isn't he?

He's been taught. That's the problem. You get them young enough. Oh my God. You can mould them into what you want them to be. Whereas you get them and they've already developed all these bad habits. That's what you've got to tell them off about on the way home. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hype Hype.

Hype Hype Hooray. Monday morning can be hard to find the motivation to get done what needs to be done. And we're here to share some of our enthusiasm, often known as the most positive and enthusiastic show on the radio. You two are definitely the most positive and enthusiastic people I know. That's us. Old positive and enthusiasm. Yeah. Look, this cynical nature of ours has got us through life, Megan. Yeah.

All right? Okay. But we've got some to share. Yeah. We've got some to share. We do. Now, we're going to start with Christy. Christy, this morning, why do you need some hype, hype, hooray on your Monday?

Hi. Well, I am expecting my first child sometime this week. Sometime this week? Well actually it was supposed to be last week but we are still holding out and waiting. So what are we at? How many weeks now?

40 weeks? Yeah, so 40 was on last Thursday. They're not going to let you go for too long though, are they? No, so we've got a date an end date of the 17th, but that's a little bit too far away for me at the moment. So you need a little bit of motivation. What did they say? Spicy food?

Yeah, well, we've tried some spicy food and lots of exercise. What about, and I don't mean to be crass, Christy, but what about some sexercise? Yeah, well, that's still high on the priority list. Apparently, feeling the movement is not a big turn-on for my husband. Oh, right. Yes. Quite a movie baby.

Also, would you want to know that fact when you were growing up, that your parents did that to kickstart you out? You don't have to tell them. Too close for comfort. Yeah. Right, so this is your first child. Are you nervous? Yeah, it is a first child, but I'm

not really nervous as such. I don't know why, which is quite unusual for me, but I can't control what happens, so we'll just go with the flow. That's right, you've got to go with the flow. Do what you're going to do. Well, heck, you want us to motivate this baby to get moving? Yeah, sure.

Okay. Can you put the phone onto your belly? Okay. Okay. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? We do, yes, but we're not telling many people. Oh, okay. No, no, that's fine.

Well, luckily not too many people listen to this radio show, so you can take the risk. But no, no, no. Okay, so phone to the belly. Okay. Okay. Hey, baby. I know you're in there.

I know you're in there. You're definitely in there. Come out. It's time to come out. It's time to come out into the world and see what mum looks like on the outside. Because you've had a good nine-month tour of the inside. You've had a good look.

You've had an elbow in the ribs. You've probably pushed on a bladder. It's time to get out that vaginal canal. It's time to enter the real world. Take your first breath. Scream your first scream. Drink your first milk. Come on, it's a great real world. Take your first breath. Scream your first scream. Drink your first milk. Come on, it's a great old world.

I know you've had some. I know that's really gone to shit since you've been in there. You know, if we look back to when you were created, it was probably we thought it couldn't get worse. And then guess what? It got worse. But you're going to be the best part of it for your mum and dad. So it's time to get on out of that.

And plus you get Happy Meals soon. Yes. You get a toy with your food. Now, we can't rush into the Happy Meal. Can we? I can't tell you how good fries are. I mean, milk's all good. You'll learn.

Fries you can bring. You're going to be eating with Flurry. Hey, we're talking to your baby. You can suck on the fry and you'll be like, I don't know what it is about this combination of carbohydrates, salt, oils, but I love it. And that's all of us. That's all of us.

Get on out here. Come out. The quicker you get out, the quicker you can put a fry in your mouth. I think that was quite motivating. Yeah. I think that was quite motivating. Christy, good luck. Good luck.

Good luck. Thank you. I hope that was enough hype, hype, hooray for your Monday. Yeah, we'll let you know how it goes. Yeah, please do. Please do. Please do. Imagine if it just starts now.

I know. That's us. It's your voices. Our horrible voices triggered a birth. Anonymous caller, good morning. Good morning. How's it going? Good.

Now, why do you need some hype, hype, hooray on your Monday? So I am getting surgery on Wednesday to get some hemorrhoids cut out. Yowzers. Oh my God. And so you need some motivation to just get you in that hospital door. Yeah, pretty much. Hemorrhoids, where do you cut them out from? I thought you put a

cream on. I thought you put a cream on. I mean, that's, I mean, step number one, but we've gone past that stage. Wow. My goodness. Yeah, I actually had surgery in March, so this is like a second one, so. Oh, my God.

Wow. It's not a fun time. So do you have to, like, do you, like, sit on a donut or something afterwards? I mean, that would be a logical option, but no, I haven't really been doing that. So even after your first surgery, you weren't gifted a little donut

to put down on the seat before sitting? No, no. That would have been good, though. Do you need motivation because you remember the first one and it wasn't pleasant and you just need to... Yeah. Okay. And is this the last one

or is there going to be another one further down the track? I hope this is the last one. And is this the last one or is there going to be another one further down the track? I hope this is the last one. This better be the last one. And is this... Sorry for so many questions. Fascinating topic though. Often something that's not talked about. Certainly a breakfast topic.

Yeah. So is this... Are you genetically disposed to this? I don't know. Right. I thought it was sitting on cold concrete. Remember that?

Don't sit on the cold, wet concrete for too long, you'll get piles. Yeah. Yeah, no. Well, I mean, there are other ways to get it. Post-surgery isn't fun, but I always think it's quite nice to lie down and have a wee sleep.

It's always a really good sleep. Yeah, yeah. That's the only thing I'm motivated for is the anaesthetic at this stage. A good sleep, a good sleep. And then would you have to sleep on your side or your stomach for a while? On the side, yeah.

Definitely not on my back or my stomach, just on the side. Just on the side sleep so that's how I sleep anyway, so that's good. And you'll have some medically sanctioned arm painkillers, so that's guilt-free. That's guilt-free painkillers right there. I've tried to find some motivational quotes about

surgery, but I just can't. Okay, we'll see them later, it's fine. Not about hemorrhoid surgery, the closest one I've got is, she got her looks from her father, he's a plastic surgeon. Okay, it doesn't really apply. It doesn't apply though, does it? Well, last week I was

face down on a bed and my ass was exposed. I had to pull a cheek to one side at one stage. That's right, for your laser. For a laser. And I had to be wide awake as somebody stared at that, whereas you will have the comfort of being completely unconscious. Yeah.

So there's a positive. There's a positive. There's a positive. Good luck for that. Good luck. You've got this. You've done it once. You can do it.

The first time's the hardest. Yeah. You'll be in and out this time. And then no more sitting on cold concrete. Amen. Amen. Good luck. Thanks so much, guys.

All you have to do is turn up. Turn up. Show up. And go to sleep. And go to sleep. Well, I think we've been very motivational this morning. Very motivational. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Well, the government cabinet today meeting, I hope they've got a big planter of biscuits. Surely. We'll have to ask Jacinda if they have biscuits at their cabinet meeting. They will decide today when we go to level one. And all indications are Wednesday, if they announce today,

giving us 48 hours notice. Because we've been real good. We've been real good. Yeah. Zero cases again, what, 16 days in a row? One active case. Yeah, this active case. It's really bugging you, isn't it?

Yeah, because every day, yeah, every day at 1 o'clock, I'm like, come on, active case. Like, I've never been so excited for somebody to get well. I'm like, come on, active case. Imagine being that one person, though, and just saying, oh, yeah, that's me. Still got a simple. Sorry. And they ring you up, you're like, what happened to the case? Imagine being that one person, though, and just saying, oh, yeah, that's me. Still got a sick form. And they ring you up, you're like, still going.

Do they just want an extra week off work? Like, what's the deal? I don't know. And I know it's none of our business and we don't need to be known because people were coming out and saying that they had had COVID and they said they were treated like they had leprosy. I saw that. Oh, my God.

Yeah. But I mean, people keeping their distance, that was what was recommended and everything. Yeah. But don mean, people keeping their distance, that was what was recommended and everything. Yeah. But don't be mean to people who have been sick. No.

Like, I really want to know this one person. Yeah, what's the deal? Sade makes the best chicken soup. The best.

And I'm not saying that's the cure for COVID-19. I'm drinking bleach or your toilet duck. I don't know. People toilet ducking? I don't know. But I'm just saying.

You drop off some soup and a lemon honey. I'd happily drop off some soup. I've got some lemons on the tree ready to go. I'd even buy you a little bottle of manuka honey. Let's get that one person well. Alright, well, government announcement this afternoon. Coming up, am I a bad person? This is wedding related. We know that stuff

goes down at weddings. This? I don't know what the right answer is. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Am I a bad goes down at weddings. This, I don't know what the right answer is. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Am I a bad person? Okay, this is your chance to get your judgy pants on and give your opinion on someone's sticky situation. This is from an anonymous guy.

This is from the point of view of the groom, okay? Hi guys, I need your help. I'm getting married in a week to an awesome woman. My brother is gay, but my family doesn't know. Only me and my parents know. I come from a very old school traditional family and we don't think the majority would take it well. My brother has been dating his boyfriend for six months now. The guy is great. I'm really happy for him, but it's a secret from the rest of the family and I've been Exactly. I've got no interest in having someone in my life that doesn't accept my brother for who he is. So supportive. Yeah.

The issue is a few weeks ago, he said he wanted to bring his boyfriend to my wedding. If it was any other occasion, I would be supportive, obviously. But I don't think my wedding day is the day to do that. Imagine all the drama and gossip and BS that would happen. And I don't want to get the attention away from my fiancee. That's her day. And I don't want to have to worry about that on my wedding day. And I think it's a pretty good reason.

I asked him why my wedding day. And he said it's because he wants to celebrate love with the two people that mean the most, me and his boyfriend. This is killing me. I would fight my whole family for my brother and would never speak to them again if I had to. But my wedding day is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight.

Am I a bad person for asking him to come to the wedding alone? Nah, it's not his day. It's the bride and groom's day. If he wants... No. It's like someone proposing at a wedding. You don't do that. You don't do it.

You don't do that because it's not about you. It's about them. If it turns to toilet, it's going to tarnish the day. Yeah. And then this person, they've been together six months. It might last forever. It might only last three more months. And then the wedding will always be the reminder of the thing that happened

with the partner that's no longer around. But then can't the partner, can't he just tell the family pre-wedding? And then if there is any drama, then just don't invite the people that have a problem with it. Yeah, exactly like they said. Just cut them. People who have a, in 2020, people who have a problem with anyone having a gay relationship,

but also the people that won't have a problem with making an issue of it at the event, will they? Do you know what I mean? Could you have someone allocated to kick them out if there's an issue? Like a bouncer. Because it's going to be extended family, right? Yeah. So like assign your dad to be the bouncer on it.

If someone starts having a fuss, just be like, get rid of them. Tell them to leave. I don't know. It's hard. But again, that's a drama that is at someone else's wedding, isn't it? Yeah, but I love a good fight sometimes. And I just think like, I don't know. It's your brother.

Could you have a conversation and be like, maybe tell them beforehand? That's what I reckon. But then you shouldn't, I don't, that's giving someone an ultimatum to come out. And I don't think that's fair either. When's the wedding again? Yeah, that's true. When's the wedding? In a week.

Oh, okay. Nah. Because even if, yeah, as you say, you've got to deliver the ultimatum. And then even then, the weeks, I don't know, is it enough time to digest everything? I understand what you're saying but then they're saying I would fight someone for my brother and I would not talk to people ever again

but I just won't do this. Not on your wedding day. I just won't do this. You know, like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm really torn. I don't know what the right thing to do is. But then the ultimatum about coming out as well,

I didn't even think about that. Yeah. Because they've got to do it on their terms, totally. I think he's just got to have a conversation with him. Yeah. What do you do? I don't know. I don't know.

Because that's a great way to show support for your brother. Yeah. But then... Six months together, is that long enough to get a wedding invite? Eva, gay, hetero, whatever. Is that long enough to get a wedding invite ever gay hetero whatever is that long enough

to get a wedding invite I don't know yeah like if you were with someone for six months would you expect to go to one of their family's weddings with them

as a partner you wouldn't be you wouldn't be that hurt I would after six months yeah I was more on the other foot of would I have invited

someone who's oh yeah right my sibling for six hours? No. I would. That's a hundred and something dollars a head. Yeah, but you, like, they've been together for six months. You've definitely got to know them and hung out with them. Are they getting, like,

they better be really coming with a present. You just don't put them in the photos. Or at the end so you can crop them out. Yeah. Yeah. Am I a bad person? So, this comes from the groom

who was getting married in a week. His brother is gay. Very supportive parents and he is also very supportive. Now, he has wanted him

to come out for a while. Of course, that's something someone has to do on their own terms. But now the brother has decided that he would like to bring his partner of six months to the wedding and use that, I guess, as some kind of announcement to the family. Now, the groom is obviously not very happy about this and wants to know, is he a bad person for asking him to come to the wedding alone

and not bring the partner. Drama. Although very supportive. Yeah. And the wedding's soon as well. So what do you think? Is he a bad person or not? All right, some calls first.

Sheila, what do you think? I don't think he's a bad person. I think maybe there's a little bit of a wiggle room. Could you just invite him in the evening so that all the ceremonies, photographs, et cetera, is all over him? And if anybody doesn't like it, they can just shove off home, can't they?

Yeah, exactly. Well, Nana might have gone by then. But Uncle Todd might have also had a couple of whiskies and he's broken out his Make America Great hat again. Oh, God. That's the danger of when booze gets involved in these. That's true. Thanks, Sheila.

Roxy, what do you think? I think call a family meeting before the wedding. And if he wants to, come out at the family meeting. And then the groom can stand up and say, right, anyone who is not comfortable or not happy with this, you're not welcome at my wedding. Yeah, I don't think it's like, but then it would be hard to, I think they're talking more about extended family.

You wouldn't really invite them all round, would you? It would be, wouldn't it be hard to get all those people together? Before the wedding though, like the night before. Oh, the night before. The night before if people have to come to the wedding. But then again,

that's just big drama, isn't it? And it's also giving him an ultimatum to come out. Yeah. Do it via Facebook chat or a Zoom meeting. Yes, a Zoom. Family Zoom. Oh no, because aunties and uncles

would take ages to get on the Zoom. My audio's not working. No, we can hear you. I can't hear you. No, I can't hear anyone. There'd be a lot of boomer chins in that Zoom meeting,

wouldn't there? Like looking up shots. Yeah. Okay, Roxy, thanks for that. What are people saying text-wise? Well, here's a good message. Why does he, you or your family

have to tell everyone that he's gay beforehand? Did you or your parents tell your extended family that you were all heterosexuals before you started dating? I always thought that. What a great point.

I think coming out is, people shouldn't have to. It's just, they are what they are. If he wants to bring his partner, let him and keep being supportive and make it a non-event for everybody else by not making bedella. It's just, they are what they are. If he wants to bring his partner, let him and keep being supportive and make it a non-event for everybody else by not making bedella.

But I also, maybe that person who texts messages in isn't, isn't. Yeah, true. We don't know how conservative

this family is. And then it's a big thing and it's a possibility to tarnish, tarnish the wedding day. I'd just say, let him go and just. I love chucking grenades

out there, though. Like, I'll be like, come along, kiss. Shit goes down, dad will get involved. Somebody said, invite the partner to the wedding, but if anyone asks, he's an old school friend of both the boys. Just be careful later on when you've had a few drinks not to open mouth kiss on the dance floor. Or do.

Oh, you know how that goes at a wedding. You're always open mouth kissing your old school friends on the dance floor. Or do. Oh, you know how that goes at a wedding. You're always open mouth kissing your old school friends on the dance floor. Somebody said I'd be very interested to hear what his fiancee has to say about it. Yeah. Because maybe she thrives on a bit of drama and would actually quite like it on a wedding day. Why doesn't the brother come out before the wedding? But again, it's a bit of an ultimatum. But then if the brother come out before the wedding? That's. But again, it's a bit of an ultimatum.

But then if the brother was down with that. But if he's going to do it on the wedding day anyway. Yeah, he wants to do it. A couple of days before. Yeah. Because this wedding's what? Next week. Date wise next week.

So maybe it's a wedding that got pushed out from COVID as well. Yeah, right. Yeah. Somehow, I don't know. It's a tough situation. Ham out from COVID as well. Yeah, right. Yeah. Somehow, I don't know. It's a tough situation. Hamish, what do you think? Oh, definitely a bad person. Okay, why?

Well, why are they inviting hateful people to their wedding? Why should he even have to come out? Why is straight the default? Yeah. Yeah, no, fair point. No, I agree. That's, like, we agree, and that's, but take into consideration

the conservative old people that have always lived that that is the way. And, you know, you've probably dealt with people who thrive on a bit of drama and have that opinion before. Yeah. Just thinking, you know, and then it doesn't matter. We totally agree, but then old people, or not necessarily all old people, I shouldn't say that, but people of that mindset could ruin the day by overreacting.

And I totally agree with you. But we've all seen how super conservatives react. Thanks, Hamish. It sucks when you've got a conservative family because then they're expected to be at these things. And you're like, yeah, but I don't align with that. What about your racist nana? What would happen if you chucked in a same-sex grenade?

How would she deal with that? I actually don't know. You'd probably kill her. I don't know. I'd overload her. I don't know how she'd deal with it. She'd start steaming. Steaming up, yeah.

Like a zip. Someone would be like, is the zip on the wall in the community hall broken? Like, no, Nana's seen a same-sex couple of different ethnic backgrounds. Oh, really? Yeah, we can't flick her off at the wall, can we? No, but David Seymour's trying to make it that we can.

So, one day. Wow. Okay, well, good luck with that one. Yeah. But yeah, I think what people, most people just saying not a bad person. No. Wait, what? Wait, what?

Have you yet to sum that up? Oh, it's kind of like nobody said bad. Yeah. But nobody said sweet. That's a real. That's a real grenade. I don't think we've helped here, have we? No.

Good luck with that. Good luck. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, and I don't know if you know this, but Nelson Mandela, Mandela, yeah,

had a soft spot for the Scottish city of Glasgow. Huh. Did he? He had a big soft spot for the Scottish city of Glasgow. Actually went there. One of his first international trips after being freed from prison was to Scotland. And he thanked the people of Scotland. And he said, even though we have been denied freedoms in the country of our birth, a city 6,000 miles away, and as renowned as Glasgow, refused to accept the legitimacy of the apartheid system and declared us to be free.

Because the Scottish didn't believe that the apartheid system should be in place in South Africa and were very vocal in opposition to it. However, you know the Scottish, that's very cheeky. Yeah. Remember when Donald Trump was going there and they had like this sort of like unwritten competition on the best Donald Trump insults that you could.

Yeah, because he's got a golf course. Yeah. Yeah. And they picketed it all around the golf course and everything when he was going there. And I think a farmer in his maze just before harvest wrote like Trump's a wanker or something.

So when he was flying into the airport, if he looked out the window, he'd see it. Very cheeky. Well, in 1986, when the apartheid system was still in place, the South African embassy in Scotland was in St. George's Place. And they renamed it Nelson Mandela Place when Mandela was still in prison and the barcode system was still in.

So anytime they wrote down their address, they had to put Nelson Mandela, their most famous political prisoner, in their address to receive mail. That's amazing. I love that. That's so brilliant. And there was even reports of them using St. George's Place in their address still and the post there

refusing to deliver it. And returning it to sender. And so they'd have to write Nelson Mandela Place if they wanted mail or any deliveries or any packages delivered to

their South African embassy. So good. Isn't that like rightly cheeky? I can see why he had a soft spot after that. Yeah. He had a soft spot for them. They're little absolute stirrers.

So today's fact of the day is that Scotland, the city of Glasgow in Scotland, renamed St George's Place, Nelson Mandela Place, so the South African Embassy would have to write the name of their political prisoner on their address

to get any mail. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There's a story about some fake news. And I think you've got to say that as Trump-like, as you can. Yeah, you do. Fake news. Fake news.

Here in New Zealand, although since being called out for it, said, it was lighthearted, guys. It was satire. Just joshing around. Have you guys seen the Batuta Advocate? I'm basically like, you know, like the onion? Satire. It's just joshing around. Have you guys seen The Batuta Advocate? I'm basically like, you know, like the onion. A photo was uploaded of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern with a young lady. Olivia Madrick was her name.

And this photo was taken last year. Olivia's a cancer survivor. But in the photo, none of this is spelt out. All it is is the photos of Olivia and the Prime Minister. And the caption was, the prime minister is trying so hard to maintain some social distancing rules in this photo. She ordered her four diplomatic protection officers

to immediately wrestle this young person to the ground and arrest her, but only after the obligatory hug and selfie. And not true. Taken last year. Olivia's obviously not stoked. Yeah. She's come out and said that's not what happened at all.

That was last year before any of this. And she was lovely. Isn't it? I don't know. It's crazy that you can look at, you just take stuff like that. It's face value. So sometimes on Facebook, you just see a picture and someone tells you the story and you're like, okay.

And you don't investigate. No. So you're like, oh, well, that must have happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then he, on his Twitter, this guy Hamish, has posted some of the abuse he's been getting. And it's worse. That is, it's a hard one, isn't it?

Because it's like you've seen people who say something and people don't agree with it, but then perhaps what is said to that person in retaliation to something that they don't agree with, I'm not using this example, but in other cases you've seen, or maybe you haven't, but they happen, is where someone will have said something in jest

and maybe people come back with something like, you deserve to die. Yeah, yeah. Or you should be killed. It's like, hold on a minute. You've taken offense to someone saying something, so you've decided to double down and just be like, well, actually, you deserve to die.

Yeah. I think, yeah, reactions are just as important as the initial, you know, like you've got to stand up for the truth, but then also don't turn into an evil person on the other side of it. It's a crazy old world, isn't it? But had they said, no, it was satire, but then like I don't want to give lessons in that because I'm not qualified,

but use like a baby or like a photo of Jacinda holding like a cat, like a kitten. That would be better. Or a puppy of Jacinda holding like a cat, like a kitten. That would be better. Or a puppy. Something more obvious than a teenager who in her own words said when this photo was taken she had just beaten a brain stem tumour.

She had had fluid on the brain and yeah, and I got this picture taken and shared it because it was a nice moment after I'd been through that. Facebook have actually started tagging. Because didn't we, our Facebook, someone shared something on a group, one of our groups in Facebook tagged it as fake news.

Yes, there was a video going around after Black Lives Matter's protests and it wasn't factual. And so anywhere it had been shared, Facebook had alerted administration of those pages that it was there, but it was not what it said it was. It contained falsehoods. Yeah, it contained falsehoods. That was a freaking weird one to get.

Like I got a notification and usually it's like somebody reporting somebody else's silly comment. But I went in there and I was like, whoa. But then if, like, for example, you ran a page and you shared your 5G, you know, coronavirus causing towers. And then Facebook tagged that as fake. You'd just think they're part of the conspiracy, wouldn't you? Yeah. It's not going to do anything.

No, it's not policing that you need to take it down. It's just telling you it contains falsehoods. Yeah. And you would say that Facebook, You're part of the conspiracy. Yeah. All right, Pete Evans. Go, go. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Fletchvorna Megan. If the world was ending, you'd come over. Megan loves this song. Yeah, I was just meaning it. Breathe at the end, Fletch. Oh, same. If the world was ending, you'll come over, right?

Yeah. Or has he got a bunker? No, if the world was ending, they'd, like, have one more night together. I think it's beautiful. And a bunker. It's like love in a hopeless place, you know? Also a bunker. Sure.

Because how long are you going to be down there? It's a bit hopeless, you know? If you're just delaying the inevitable, if one day you open the bunker hatch and you die, what was it all for? Vaughn Scott. Actually, both of you two in the studio have got Apple Watches. And gosh, you love all the little like...

Features. Features. Every morning, there's a new feature. I'm just coming. I've got a great resting heart rate, by the way. I've found that. Mine's got way better. Hey, you never explained why yours was beeping an alarm before.

I think I accidentally pressed the alarm thing. Do you ever do that on your phone? You accidentally sit on the buttons and then it's like, and you're just like, what have I done? My resting heart rate's 48. Mine today is also 48.

No one cares. I've been doing lots of cardio. Nobody cares what it is. I've had two weeks of perfect everything. I've closed the rings. All three rings. The heart rate is... No one knows what closing the rings means unless you've got one.

Down, baby. Okay, cool. So before, Vaughn has found a new feature. It was when his... When his alarm, because we joked that he was having a heart attack or something. And I said, have you set up, and I think you should, have you set up the alarm? Because there was a story the weekend about a lady who fell.

She had an Apple Watch on, she was by herself, and it called the emergency services because it registered that she had a fall. That's amazing. Because there's an altimeter, right? And then also your heart stops. Or something changes. So it knows that you've fallen, that the watch has fallen, and then there's no heart rate.

So it calls the emergency services. So I've set mine up. What are those things called that you get your nana or granddad? A syndrome medialib bracelet. You've got one of those essentially. I told you I wanted one of those. I've told everybody I want one of those, essentially. I told you I wanted one of those. I've told everybody I want one of those. I'm trying to get my dad is like going to be 65 next year

and he's fit and healthy. So it's not like, you know, he's not. But he's always down the farm by himself for ages. And then he's like me. He'll start one task and then he'll see something else and he'll go on to do that one, which will lead him to do, oh, I better do that. And he can be gone for hours.

Yeah, right. And that's why it was a high-vis shirt. So if mum drives up the farm looking for him, she'll be able to find his body. Right. Like, how rude is that? So I thought it would be good for him to have something like that. So if he has a little whoopsie. You don't need that feature because you're like a young adult.

Thank you. Oh, my God. To be fair, you're both older than me. So maybe it's a good thing. I am a young adult. I might. Oh, my God. To be fair, you're both older than me, so maybe it's a good thing. I am a young adult. I might read Twilight or Hunger Games. One of those young adult books that I'm always talking about. Okay, you're a young old adult.

My mum called me middle-aged last night. That bitch got hung up on. I'm not talking to her until she's willing to call me her little man again. Hello, everyone speaking. Hello, little man. Hello, my little man. I'll little man. Hello, my little man. I'll be like, oh,

hi, mummy. Oh, I don't know, I'm going to work today. I'll come home too. Oh, I didn't have a full

and I didn't know how to set up my St. John's medialet bracelet on my watch. So I was setting that up and it's like, do you want to set up

an EKG? An EKG? An ECK. An EKG. Okay. I was like, yep. ECG. ECG. So once a week I have to sit with my arms flat on the table and hold this button and it will see if anything's changed from

the week before. Right. Also, it gives you like some stats. And it measures what kind of heart rate you've got. Because you know on the old medical shows it goes ee-boop-boop, me, boop, boop. And it's similar and it goes up a bit and then down a bit. Yeah. And then back onto the line and then up and down.

But there's all these different sorts of ones. Some of them go up, up. Yeah, right. Some of them go up, up, down. And then that could be like an irregular heartbeat and stuff. So if you do it over time, it saves it all and you can show your doctor. Oh, right.

If something's changing, you could be like, something's up. Yeah, because doctors love that when you go in with some data, right? You tell my own ECG. Yeah, I'll be like, come here, come here. You've got to look at the watch though. So get your glasses. Has it got like multiple emergency contacts? Like Sade will be the first one.

No, it's default New Zealand emergency. Oh, okay. So we're one, one, one. I was just making sure you haven't put me down. Shit, I'm going to laugh if you have a fall down the back of your little farmlet and you're out of 3G. Holy shit, we do have a bad spot. We have a bad reception spot.

Just like, oh, God, it's out of bars. Sorry, with my other hand, I reach my phone and I lift it as high as I can. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, lives here. ZM.