ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th March 2021

Episode Date: March 7, 2021

Meghan & Harry Interview Update!  Top 6: Collabs we don't need  When have you had to Nark on a family member?  Vaughan made eye contact  Should I Feel Guilty!?  Vaughans Fingerprints  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Fauna Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. I've got my headphones on because I've given them to Gary to be fixed. So if I need to be louder, finger me up. If I need to be quieter, finger me down. Okay. A little quieter. A little softer would be nice. No, maybe I'll just finger you up there. A little bit louder.

That's perfect. About here? Okay, I'll sit about here. Lovely. Okay, I'll project, but I'm not going to yell. How does that sound? It's like if you're ever watching a TV show or a movie, and they go to the people at the radio station, and they don't have headphones on.

Bullshit. Unrealistic. How are they hearing? How are they hearing the callers and the monitors? What if it's not in the room? Yeah, you can't. You can't? That would be...

Feedback. Wild feedback. Central. Wild feedback. Speaking, you can't. You can't. That would be... Feedback. Wild feedback. Central. Wild feedback. Speaking of radio and feedback. Yep. A lot of chat around the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern. Jacinda.

Jacinda. How do you... Jacinda Ardern. I love in the comments and people are like, bloody Jacinda. Yeah. Or Stephen Colbert kept calling her Jacinda Ardern. Arden. Arden.

Like hitting the R. That's American. We still haven't forgiven her for not giving us a heads up about that. About Stephen Colbert. About him being in the country. Huge Stephen Colbert fans.

Huge fans. Are you? Yeah. So apparently she has, the Prime Minister has said I don't need to do a weekly spot with Mike Hosting

at the moment. So every, I think it's to do a weekly spot with Mike Hosting at the moment. So I think it's every Monday morning she'll do the media rounds. Yeah. So she said that she's still going to go on the show, but only when there's like something. Only when there's issues. Yeah, big issues or big news. So she'll still put up with him, but only when she has to.

Good on her. Like, I don't know why. I wouldn't go on that show every week just to get a roasting from that a-hole. Do you reckon the AM show's next? What has she said about the AM? So she said Ardern and other ministers will appear on the country's top performing commercial radio show, so ours,

as and when issues arise. Hosking said she's running for the hills. Well, because I think we've got a scheduled chat, now that it's an election year, every month. Issues arise. Hosking said she's running for the hills. Why? Because I think we've got a scheduled chat now that it's an election year every month, once a month. That's enough. That's enough. You don't want to be talking every week.

No. And I can't blame her for not wanting to talk every week to Hosking. Yeah. She's got enough on her plate without having to put up with people that actively hate her. She's got a platter-sized plate to put up with People that actively hate her She's got a platter sized plate And it's chocolate It's a charcuterie

I wonder if she will keep going on the AM show Because they They think she's a warrant Well Mark Richardson's just an orange Leathery hosking really isn't he Like a Handbag He is fit though isn't he

He's a lean man Oh yeah Anger will do that to you You've got to think for Mark Richardson Right I wouldn't put too much Energy into that Anyway we've slandered enough fellow broadcasters Yeah we have but we can say now

That we will have Jacinda On the show regularly. She hasn't cancelled with us. No, of course she hasn't. Is that because of your schoolyard friendship? She daren't cancel on me or I'll do that thing that you hate to hear from people you went to school with. You changed, man. Yeah.

You changed. What happened to you, man? You used to be cool. You changed, man. The old Jacinda wouldn't. Yeah. She would have been all here and stuff. Just drink, man.

Just drink. What's wrong with the way you drink? Calm down. You still smoke the durries? Gotta diet, man. Just drink. What's wrong with the way you drink? You still smoke the durries? Gotta die, bro. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleeche, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Two minutes past six.

Monday fun day. When I got that news alert last night, I was like, not now. You're talking about the flight attendant. Yes. Posse. Yeah. And went to the supermarket. But did everything right by the sounds of things.

They had their tests. They had negative tests. And luckily, Auckland was in level 3 last week. Hardly anyone around. We should be, fingers crossed, sidestep that one. Fingers crossed also seems to be working for us.

Has anybody scientifically tested whether or not fingers crossed it works? Has anybody? We need to put some money into that research. Yeah, some antiviral properties. We've had a lot of close calls and somehow the damage has been minor. Fingers crossed and a bit of

collagen powder I reckon would be the great preventative. Collagen powder and amethyst I find really healthy. I'm a rose quartz. I'm a rose quartz in the middle in between my two eyes every night while I sleep. Just on your chakra, on your brain chakra.

Yeah, right on the chakra vein. The third eye. To the nose and mouth region where it can block. Oh, don't get me started. I used to be a really witchy kid. I did witchcraft courses in my school holidays. Was this during the goth phase? No, this was like well before. Oh, wow.

Me and my best friend, I don't know what, we just thought we were witches at like seven and eight. So we went to these witchy classes. Oh, seven and eight? Yeah, I've always been a spiritual. You were unattended with people who believe in witch at like 7 and 8. So we went to these witchy places. Oh, 7 and 8? Yeah, I've always been a spiritual. You were unattended with people who believe in witchcraft at 7 and 8. Yeah, there were these weird like, when everyone was offered a normal basketball holiday program,

me and my bestie Jess were doing these like spiritual Wiccan courses. Where did you find these? Were they advertised at the notice board at the supermarket? There was a place in the heart called Arcadia. I think it's still going. And it was one of those real like crystal places. And they offered these courses. Oh, right.

So it was a shop, but. It was a shop, but it had like an out the back where they did readings and stuff. And we went there and did these holiday classes. All of them began out the back. Yeah. Weird. I'm a witch. Are you still into crystals and that now?

No. Good. They're pretty, eh? I've got a couple of Disney pretty. Yeah. All right, coming up on the show, it's back today. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. All thanks to Star Streaming now on Disney+.

Disney what? Disney plus. Plus. You and Disney plus. Unbelievable. Lazy time. I don't need this kind of... Get it together.

Scrutiny this early. $30,000. This kind of scrutiny. Are we teething you? I haven't done my vocal warm-ups, okay? Baraga, baraga, baraga. Please pass the pens. Is that your vocal warm-up?

I don't know. Please pass the pens. The that your vocal warm-up? I don't know. Please pass the pencils. A quick fox. The pencil needs to be passed. Unique New York. Yeah. So $30,000 your chance to have a crack at The Secret Sound is coming up at 7 and 8 this morning.

And even if you get it wrong, $100 cash. All yours. The top six on the way. There's a new Flavor Pringle coming out. It is in get it wrong, $100 cash. All yours. The top six on the way. There's a new flavor Pringle coming out. It is in conjunction with Halo, a video game. It's a moa-flavored chip named after a bird in the game, a big bird that looks like a computer game version of the actual moa.

Okay. The now extinct bird from here in Aotearoa. So I've got the top six other chip native bird combos that I would like to try. What? No. I would 100% eat one of those if it presented itself. It must have been delicious. If it presented itself

it would be put into a very safe environment. Just give me a slice of it. I think that's why they're extinct. They were delicious. They must have been good, man. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. The CBS, Megan Markle, Prince Harry, Oprah interview. It's out tonight. So we're going to see like, this will be blasted all online tonight, I'd imagine. New Zealand time. It's already been blasted. They've been teasing it for like a month now, releasing little clips of like, remember that first trailer?

Yeah. And it was like, boom, every time Megan said something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what they want me to think. Boom. Oprah's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You've said some crazy things today. Boom.

Boom. Well, yeah, that's happening tonight in America and tomorrow night in New Zealand it is on three at 7.30. How much would three have paid for this? Well, CBS paid between seven and nine American, I've done that wrong, seven and nine million American dollars. So that's like... But then how many people are going to be tuning in? The advertising will be through the roof.

So many. Yeah. So many. Everyone is going to be watching that. And then I'm assuming they then sell it to places like New Zealand. Jesus, if I worked at TV3, I'd be watching for the axe falling because someone's got to lose their job to pay for that oh yeah absolutely i can't even imagine what we paid to get it because we're only getting it i mean it's tonight in america and then we have to wait

and then we're gonna wait right but not that long like usually we'll wait like a week or something most people will hone it online right find a way to find a way to. Especially those who are wanting to watch Have You Been Paying Attention, which is on at the same time. Oh, yeah. Get out of the way today. Are you guys up against the Meghan and Harry interview? We are. I think so.

Oh, that's horrible news. But then the kind of people that are going to watch us, like, you know, mums mostly, they're not torrenters or illegal downloaders. No, they're not. So they'll hang out for tomorrow. But there's so many juicy little clips that they've released that the recent one was about Megan saying that she, you know,

what did she call it, the firm? The firm, yeah. And they're perpetuating rumours about them from the inside. When she called in the firm, I was like, oh, it is on. This interview is going to be great. I know. about them from the inside. When she called in the firm, I was like, oh, it is on. This interview is going to be great. I know. It seems, yeah, it's too good to be true.

So that's on tomorrow. The royals have come out with an absolute PR offensive over the weekend. The queen got corgis. She said she wasn't going to do that. No. And now everyone's like, talking about the queen getting corgis. They're coming out at all angles. They're like, quickly, Prince Philip, get on death's door. Do the only thing you can do that's not racist.

Almost die. Maybe they just put a little bit of cyanide in his soup. You know, they're just like, just for a little bit. A little bit of wear off. He'll survive it. He's invincible. Because he's still in hospital. God knows how he's surviving.

Prince Charles was out. Camilla was doing the chat with the COVID first responders. Doing a bit of charity stuff. Yeah. It's all go from the royals. I will say, good move, Queenie, because those corgis are cute. Yeah, and Kate squirted out like two more babies. Squirted out.

It's all go for the royals on the PR offensive. All right, well, tomorrow, New Zealand time, it's out. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, I thought this sounded familiar, and I thought it must have been the same kid. Okay. Because it's in the same area. But no, there is just something in the water in Taradale

that makes people want to break world records to do with sitting on a swing. Is it milk? Isn't Taradale a dairy place? Also, wasn't there actually something in the water a few years ago? That water problem? That was in Hawke's Bay. There was something in the water.

Maybe it's got long-lasting effects. Because I remember a few years ago, there was a young fella who swung on a swing, and when he was finishing up, they had the TV crew there. They were doing a live cross to him. Everyone's like, how'd you prep for this? He's like, George, I sat down. Would you do it again?

No. And I was like, it must be the same guy, and he is doing it again. It's not, though. It's just another teenager from Taradale. This time it's Patrick. He, on Sunday night, he did it at 10.30, and he just jumped off the swing, and they played Hooked on a Feeling,

which we just had as Friday flashback like two weeks ago. Oh, my God, stop it. And you were very proud of it, too. Yeah, and you poo-pooed it. No one knows it. The teens. The teens, they love this song. They knows it. The teens. The teens. They love this song. They love it, do they?

The teens. Well, now what's the deal with the, how many hours did he do on the swing? He is, he had 36 hours. You were like, obviously there is a toilet break in there. Or no? Nosh. Or is that not mentioned? The toilet break isn't mentioned, but I'd imagine there must have been.

Okay. Is he allowed to be pushed or does he have to self-propel? No word whether or not he has to self-propel for the entire 36 hours. Is it official Guinness? Confirmation pending. It will break the current world record of 32 hours set by another New Zealand woman. From Matuako. Amy Pivot. Okay.

Yeah. Now, so apparently five minutes every hour. He's allowed to wheeze. He was allowed, yeah. And he stacked it to have a half hour break every six hours. Half hour break? That doesn't feel right. You can't accumulate these things.

If you don't use your five minutes one hour, you can't use your... It's not rollover. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe those are the rules. Think of it like sick days, not holidays. You can't accumulate these things. If you don't use your five minutes, one hour, you can't use your... It's not rollover. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe those are the rules. Think of it like sick days, not holidays. You can't accrue them. You've got to use them or they disappear.

Stretching, food, and sleep. That's the preparation. A lot of stretching. Yeah, he said. You'd have to screw your glutes a bit of a good stretch, wouldn't you? And the swing. I'm imagining it's that... Plastic.

Plastic-y, leather-y. Leather-y, yeah. Yuck. Plastic. Plasticky, leathery. Yuck, that would not be good on the boot arm. Pushes in on the hips. A lot of sweat as well, I'd imagine. He said it was 2am that he really struggled, quite cold, and was struggling to stay awake. And then it started raining. Did he have people around him?

Must have had a support crew. Yeah, there was a support crew. And then he said there was difficulties with the generator powering, the lights and the video stream. Had a support crew. Yeah, there was a support crew. And then he said there was difficulties with the generator powering the lights and the video stream. Had a few issues. Right. Yeah. So.

He's done it though. Yeah, he's done it. And it's kind of videoed, which is the thing that they need for the Guinness World Records. Because if they can't have somebody there to witness it, they need proof that it happened. So they can provide them with the proof. And he raised some money for Starship Hospital along the way. So he's a good young man. He's a good young man. He sat on a swing for a long time.

All right. Good young man. 19 past six. Bit of a dodgy app. Not on any of our phones, I hope. Well, look, parents are panicking about apps on phones, iPads all the time. And usually you're like, calm down, mum and dad. Let the boy grow into a man.

You've got to make your own mistakes. Yeah. What other way are you going to learn? But there's an app now, I don't know if you're familiar with it, called Discord. Now, none of us have. The only one here that has Discord is producer Jared. Now, give us the rundown of Discord for the people that don't know.

It's like basically WhatsApp, right? Yeah, it's kind of like Messenger or voice chat, but you can run it in the background while you play games. And predominantly for gamers, right? Initially. Yeah. So initially set up for gaming chat. What's a bit of gaming chat? Hey, to level two yo sick sick is it like while you while you are gaming yeah so you

can be talking to your chums yeah i think it has like lower internet requirements so you can not lag so much when you're talking to the brass but you could could be like, bruh, come gank me top G. Yeah, I was going to say, come gank me top G. You're always saying, come gank me top. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I had to say, come gank me top G. You'd have three dollars. Yeah, I would. But now it's being used for a little bit more sinister purposes. Apparently some users are using it to buy and sell drugs.

Oh, not true. Here in New Zealand. I've heard about these. I've heard about these. I know. Should we be worried about you, Jared? Producer Jared? No, I'm a good Christian boy.

Okay. Are you on drugs? No. Be honest with me. No. You won't be in trouble if you tell me now, but if I find out later. Does that ever work?

And as a kid, you've just got that split moment to think. That's all they're looking for. It's a hesitation, right? Tell me now you won't get in trouble. Tell me if I find out later I'm going to be angry. It's that hesitation and then no. Do you use that on the girls?

Does that work? No, I just say you're not going to get in trouble for this, but you're going to get in trouble for lying. So kind of. Yeah, right. Oh, that hurts me. Yeah. I remember that.

I'd be like, I don't care. Like, just tell me. You're not going to get in trouble for this. It's no big deal. But you can't lie to me. That's what you're getting in trouble for. Yeah, that's good. The first part's a lie because they are going to get in trouble.

They are, yeah. So apparently, yeah, people are on here sharing photos of big balls of marijuana. I'm terrible at the drug chat. I've got to say. Buds. Buds. Tinnies.

Look, I'm not on the app, okay? But also more sinister stuff. Cocaine, LSD, CBD, Dexys and Gamma. What are Dexys? Itma the what are Dexys it's like a Ritalin like a Ritalin I don't know what Gamma is the

the picture that they've used in this news story oh it's so good is brilliant because it it's like got a picture of some drugs you can buy

and then underneath it's got free K-Bar yeah like they're offering specials as well I love K-Bar can I just have the K-bars? Yes.

I'd love to get into an illicit online trade of K-bars. Of K-bars. Soft ones. Can you go on just to innocently buy K-bars? Because they're actually quite hard to find these days. I know. Yeah, I was trying to send a mate of mine in England some and they're very hard to come by.

Maybe you could just go like, hey, bruh, sick skunk. Hold the skunk, dog. Yeah, brah, sick skunk. Hold the skunk, dog. Yeah, hit up Decay Bar. See, I'm not sure. Put Decay Bar. I'd like a prize.

But anyway, it's sort of all over the thing. And it's very explicit, like grams, cost, I can drop off, I'm in this area. Because I'm imagining it's like, it'll be encrypted end to end, right? Yeah, and the messages aren't being scanned. Yeah, right. So, yeah. Yeah, just another thing for parents to worry about. Okay, well then, if you're a parent, watch out for those big balls of marijuana. I believe that's the street term.

Yeah, absolutely. Just one ball, please. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the smoggy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. There's a new Halo coming out this Friday. Or am I already out? Is it out?

The chip's out this Friday. Is the Halo out? Is Halo out? Halo the video game. And Pringles has jumped on board to release a timely flavor-associated chop. So it is Pringles wavy. Ooh, so not, you know, your traditional.

It's got a wave. I haven't had a wavy Pringle. I've never had a wavy Pringle either. This might be America running at this stage. But it's called a Moore Burger flavoured chip. And it's based on the Moore Burger available in-game in Halo. Or, you know, it's from a video game in Halo. And the bird is also in the game Halo.

And it looks a lot like what our Moore did. The now extinct New Zealand moor, biped, flightless bird, large, long neck. Allegedly extinct. Allegedly. Well, they reckon there could be some in Fiordland. Yeah, I don't believe that. You never know. Come out of the bush and shoulder barge to German tourists doing the root burn track.

Yeah, do you remember that time when Holmesy got a mower on and everyone got real excited about it? It was a lawnmower. What? Remember being a kid? This was, as a kid, I remember this being, it was like appointment viewing. There was this time in the 90s and it was like,

tonight on Holmes, has this man got a mower? And everyone's like, no, of course he doesn't. But I don't know whether or not the Holmes production crew were in on it. I don't know if Holmes himself was in on it. It was a stitch up from the start. And they were going to meet this guy who had caught a moor. In Fiordland or Southland. And there was all this big theatrical thing.

And you're like, maybe it's going to be a statue that moves, an animatronic moor, because we were living in the time of the big fresh animatronics. Yeah. You go shopping at Big Fresh, there's a singing kiwi fruit. Oh, I loved them. It was a wonderful time to be alive, Hayley. In the 90s.

And then they got there and they started the show. They were like, we'll show you at the end of the show. And so you watch the whole show and at the end of the show, they literally opened this stable's door and it was a, I almost swore because I was hurt as a child And the hurt remains It was just a A lawnmower

And they wonder why We're cynical Because we're It was a lawnmower Watching this It was a lawnmower How did they get away with that? It wasn't even

April Fool's Day No Ridiculous I told you I had a mower I'd love to I'd love to talk to somebody That was working on the show At that time

About like How Because I'd imagine Afterwards the executives somebody that was working on the show at that time about, like, how. Because I'd imagine afterwards the executives would have just been like, don't do that again. We'll find Susan Wood. Wood? Susan Wood? She'd know. She'd know.

She was on Twitter there for a while. Give her a tweet. Oh, I need to know. Ask her about the backstory. Someone needs to investigate. I think it was in the middle of last year, there's that place, Junk and Disorderly. Oh, yeah. Which is like a big second-hand was in the middle of last year, there's that place Junk and Disorderly,

which is like a big secondhand store That's where I got my drinks trolley from. Yeah, so great. And they had two of the vegetable animatronics from

Big Fresh. Big Fresh. Oh, yeah. For sale. And they went. I was like, who has this? Someone in their lounge.

Are you just trying to watch a movie and they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Because they couldn't go outside. They weren't made of material that would last. No. It's not a garden feature.

So with the wavy Moaburger flavoured crisps, I've got the top six other chip slash native bird flavour combos I'd like to try. Oh, okay. Number six on the list is the more pork munchies. More pork munchos. Oh, yum. I love munchies. More pork munchos. Oh, yum. I love munchos. And you love more pork.

You ate them all the time, you were telling me. You sneak into Zealandia when you're home in Wellington. Getting around the thick neck. Grab them, look at them in their beady little eyes. They're so cute. You're like, shh, shh, shh, shh. Keep me up at night. I'm imagining it just tastes like chicken.

Yeah, it does. Scare me with your myths of being a death harbinger. I'll show you who's a death harbinger. It's me, I'm a eater. Number five on the list of the top six chipped native bird flavour combos is the Grey Warbler Grain Wave. Ooh, yum. Wow.

They change grain waves through speed, didn't they? I haven't had them since. I've had them once since and I said never again. My children were eating Grainwaves the other day and I said, children, gather round. Let Papa tell you about a time when Grainwaves were actually a delicious treat and not some shitty cardboard. What have they done to them?

We did it. There was an expose a year or two ago and they changed the recipe and they're not as good now. Oh, my God. They were like one of my favorite. Oh, they were the go-to. Get a packet today and report back tomorrow. You will just be shocked.

So in 2017, they changed. Sunbites. They went from being bluebird grain waves to sunbite grain waves. Right. And they were like healthy. And they just taste like nothing. They're just rubbish. Yeah.

I wouldn't even bother. And if you've only ever had them in the last two years, you should have been around in the golden years when Holmesy would trick you into watching for half an hour to see a lawnmower

and you could eat a pack of grain waves and they'd be delicious. Number four on the list of the top six chip slash native bird flavour combos are pork pickle Pringles. Oh. Oh, yeah.

So many of these bloody Porkeko. Is that what mum's got a problem with? Yeah, she hates them. Yeah, and they've got a death wish as well. Like, they're always on the road. Yeah. They go very flat on a state highway. Oh, they do.

Run them right through. That's probably the ones for the Pringles. Pre-flattened. Yeah. Lovely long legs too, the Porkeko. Number three on the list are the top six chip native bird flavour combos, I'd like to try blue duck Doritos. Oh, yeah.

Because you can have them blue. Yep. And they have a ducky flavour. Yeah, that'd be great. And they'd be yummy Doritos. Number two on the list of the top six chip native bird flavour combos, I'd like to try. Number two, kakapo corn chips.

Ooh. Good run, the, kakapo corn chips. Ooh. Good run, the old kakapo, but why not take the five that are left and make them into corn chips? And number one on the list of the top six

chip native bird flavours, it could be none other than the kiwi. Yep. Kettle fried kiwi. I'd imagine. Those kettle fried chips were yum.

We have spoken to someone on the show that's eaten kiwi many years ago. What? They found it in a trap. And they were like, let's show that's eaten kiwi many years ago. What? They found it in a trap. In a trap. And they were like,

let's eat it. They didn't say the trap. It was in a trap and they said it was on the way out. What did it taste like? Chicken. Chicken.

Yum. They said, honestly, don't worry about it. Yeah, it's just chicken. Just eat chicken. Not worth it. Just eat chicken. Just eat chicken.

But I've always said, if you want to get the population of kiwis to boom, we need to start eating them. You know how many chickens there are? If we were eating them, there'd be millions of Kiwi. It wouldn't even be a problem. You heard it here first, everyone.

Vaughan wants to eat Kiwis. I do. But only when there's enough of them to sustain it. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, the news last night, an Air New Zealand member tested positive for COVID-19.

They went to the countdown right by the airport in Auckland. That is a location of interest. So if you want the times, you can go to the COVID website, Ministry of Health, just to see if you were there at that same time. That is quite a big countdown, but I've only ever been there when you're on the way to the airport and you realise you forgot something. Yeah. I just want to admire their mental strength

and not popping into the warehouse at the same time. Oh. Every time I'm in that complex, I'm always like, I'll grab a Carl's Jr. burger, then I'll go to countdown and get a bottle of something. Yeah.

How long did I just drive out to the airport with a half a burger and a bottle of wine and a sleep in the little lookout? Also, you know when you go to a strip mall or a mall, you don't have to go to every location. Yeah, but it feels rude to the other shops. So they arrived on a flight from Tokyo on Feb 28.

They tested negative on landing so they were obviously allowed to go home. But they tested positive with a routine test on Sunday. Yeah. And so all their family and other crew have been contacted and are now isolating, including a member of the family that went and played golf,

but wasn't... Golf's a bit of a social distance sport. Yeah, it is. It's not like rugby, there's not a scrum. But they've tested negative since and we're not showing symptoms. Okay, and they're isolating and they've done everything. It's not a witch hunt because they did everything they were supposed to do. Yes.

They didn't get a test and then go do some squats. It's surprising this doesn't happen more though, eh? Oh, yeah, totally. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. It's working well for us. Fingers crossed is working. Touch wood.

Touch wood and fingers crossed. Yeah. So, are the Auckland going into level two on Sunday? I was very surprised we got a level two on Sunday. Were you? I thought we were going to get level two end of Sunday. Like, today would be the first level two and the rest of the country for level one.

Because you know what, it's like... Because you thought people were going to go crazy. They do it after the weekend for lower the chance of too much social interaction, just to give you another day buffer. And they did go crazy. I've never seen the gym at 9am, because I went at 9am-ish on Sunday.

I was going to say, you're looking quite buff this morning. Thank you. And I've never seen it so busy. Did you get your full pump on? I got my full pump. You did a full pump? You got full pump? It was heaving.

I've never seen it. Normally I go to the gym then, it's empty. Everyone's going to use their, convert their food into gains. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's been a lot of dirty bulk. Oh, a lot of dirty bulk.

We've been inside for a week, basically. And people were, turns out we were hungry. All the restaurants had lines out the doors. Which is good because you- Great for the hospitality industry. Yeah, the hospital industry is like, it's hurting. Cannot recommend enough. And remember with, you know, the week before or the week before. And remember with the week before,

or the week before that, no, the week before, KFC got a bit of a bad rap because one of the workers went to work. They were in a COVID family and everyone was like, oh, I don't go to KFC. Well, it turns out it hasn't had much of an impact

because one of the KFCs on the North Shore ran out of chicken. That's how hungry we were on Sunday. We were lining up for chicken to the point at Glenfield Mall At Glenfield Mall they had huge queues Imagine waiting in line for KFC When there's a McDonald's right next to you

And then you're like All I want is the famous chicken And a $10 butter chicken On the other side You've got kebabs as an option I'd have been straight over to Macca's But then you get to the counter and you're like, a bucket of your finest wings, good sir.

And they're like, oh, sorry. We're out. That was like when the country came out of level four. And do you remember lines outside every fast food outlet pretty much around the country? Yeah. They had to have like crowd control, like cones out, traffic management, nuts.

We love it though, eh? We do love a bit of... We love a little takeaways. As Aucklanders, we spent all that time cooped up and we're like, going to go to the gym, eating bad and then you just get a taste of freedom. That's why everybody was at the gym because they had a big feed planned at midday

and they just needed to go into it guilt-free. Fair call. That's exactly why the gym was busy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Tell them what the secret sound is.

It's ZM's $50,000 secret sound. All thanks to Star streaming now on Disney Plus and including originals like Solar Opposites. You can learn more at DisneyPlus.com I watched the first two episodes

of that the other night very funny it's animated there's not a lot I can repeat here oh really but it's really good it's a cartoon for adults

yes very much so we call them animated shows not cartoons oh right yes of course of course I call them cartoons

oh do you you want to sit down and watch your cartoons I want to watch my shows Animated shows, not cartoons. Oh, right. Yes, of course, of course. I call them cartoons. Oh, do you? You want to sit down and watch your cartoons? I want to watch my shows. Watch my stories. I'm more grown up when you say I'm just going to watch an animated show. Soundkeeper Gary's in, the boss of The Secret Sound. Good morning, guys.

Hello. Hayley, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Got some news, guys. Okay. Now, we know we've had Soundkeeper Elle's in quarantine herself because she's an intern, she's new. We can't trust her with $50,000. Well, not in the open world.

She's open to bribery. Yeah, she is. Probably coming from me, to be fair. Yeah. Because this secret sound, it's grinding me. Well, we're heading into week four of Secret Sounds now. Okay. And I feel like she's got enough experience and I trust her,

so we're going to let her out. We're going to let her out and lift the quarantine on Soundkeeper Elle, so she's going to come in here from now on. Doesn't that feel good? She can finally leave. She doesn't have to live in her bunker. Come on in, Elle.

Come on through. Is it because there have been complaints from the building management about this manky little cave thing that was happening out the window? Yeah. Soundkeeper Elle's in the studio. Yeah. Soundkeeper Ells, in the studio, you are free to go out into the big, wide, open world.

It's so nice of your captor to meet you out and to give a woman some trust in 2021. I think it's about time, man. Gary, sorry. Soundkeeper Ells' friends, try her. Ask her what the secret sound is. She's a seasoned veteran now, and she won't give it away, will you?

I could have given it away online as well, but I didn't. You're quite smiley, considering. Is it a bit of Stockholm Syndrome? Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do now. What's your captor? Oh, it's exciting. Thank you.

Okay, well, we've got Brad on the line. Good morning, Brad. Hello. Good morning. All right, you have a shot right now at $30,000 if you can tell us what this secret sound is. Come on, Brad. All right, guys.

My guess is that it is flipping over a pin art toy. A pin art toy. It's what? Flipping over. Flipping over. Flipping over. You know those pin art toys? It's got the little pins in it.

You just push your hand into it. You push your hand into it. I love those. Yeah, and you make a hand print. And you'd pull the fingers and then roll it back onto it. And then you'd slowly stand it up. And you could sit that up and it was like you were pulling the fingers to everybody. You'd put it on your bookshelf like, screw you, mum and dad.

That's a good guess. Yeah, because when you flip them all over, the pins all rush back through. Is that a good guess? Because Hayley off-air was like, I'm sick of all these stupid guesses. Oh, I know. I was like, stop saying fabric. It's a pretty obscure guess. It's very specific.

It is very obscure and specific Does it fit with any of the clues Brad? Yeah that was my question Clues I think so There's a hand one in there You know you push your hand into it And the sound does sound like those

The needles Little pins pushing against the perspex Do you have one at home Brad? Have you been testing this out? I'm pretty sure Nana had one back in the day We used to play with Nana That's sweet.

Did Nana also have one of those things with sand and liquid in it and it was like you'd flip them upside down in the sand and the water would run and it would always look different? I love those. Oh my god, probably. She had everything. Who got the pen art sand

thing of Nana's? When she passed. Now I'm just wondering where mine went. Because every now and then one of the needles would fall out or get a bit munted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one's stuck and you'd ram your face into it. One of them wouldn't go down. You'd be like, ow!

Blind yourself. All right, well, enough of our trip down memory lane. That was lovely. Thank you for the spread. Soundkeeper owls. Well, I'm free. Am I free for, like, one second? Brad.

That is not the secret sound. Oh, Brad. Well, I tell you what, you've got $100 maybe to buy one of those. Oh, yeah, sand pin things. And he aren't saying things like, oh, one of those electric balls that you turned on and you put your hands on and the lightning went to your hands. And we're talking about gimmicky shit your nan bought in the 90s.

Brilliant. All right. Hey, thanks, Brad. Next shot. The Secret Sound is coming up at 8 o'clock. Mm-hmm. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

The Prime Minister received a handwritten note. Pop that up online. A little bit of light relief from an otherwise weak of pretty intense posts from the Prime Minister about COVID, earthquakes, possible tsunamis, and Satan himself appearing. Oh, that's right. Remember Friday?

We were waiting for the announcement. What a week that was. Do you reckon she would have screamed into a pillow a lot Yeah, yeah She'd be like, goodnight Niamh She's like, Clark Clark, I need you to Take a punch to the guts For the good of the nation

Clark, I'm going to call you some names right now I'm going to do horrible things I'm going to sock you once with the right I'm going to sock you once with the right, and I'm going to sock you once with the left. It's going to be a gut punch. You're not going to like it, but this is just... And then scream into a pillow. So she received a cute handwritten note from a little kid

saying that their dad isn't washing his hands properly. Oh, it's so cute. Is this also... It's very cute. We didn't find out the roots of this, but does this scream to anybody else? Divorced parents. Oh, it's so cute. It's very cute. We didn't find out the roots of this, but does this scream to anybody else? Divorced parents. Oh, yeah.

Kid comes back from dad's and kid's like, dad's not washing his hands properly. Mum's like, get your paper and your little crayon. Yeah. We're dobbing dad into the highest authorities, that son of a, who just swoops in every second weekend and takes you to Macca's for every meal and now he's your favourite

and he's not washing his hands properly. The Prime Minister must hear about it. It's so cute. The little note, isn't it the cute... It's written in felt pen. It says, Jacinda, my, comma, dad. So already wrong. Grammatically.

Grammatically a pissball star. All I'm saying is, yeah, the dad is neither Educating their child My dad is not Washing his hands properly He is not Putting soap on his hands And not rubbing for 20 seconds

I will work on this With him And then something Allegible Happy New year oh it's too late girl it's march but it's very very cute but what a knock knocked you're gonna knock you know absolute knock you never just get stitches yeah well on your own family you don't knock on your own family i'm trying to think if i've ever narced on my family. Because I would never... My parents weren't up to trouble, so I never narced on them.

And I never narced on my brother. We were tight. We were a tight unit. Really? No, because I would... Oh, my God. Any opportunity, we were selling each other out. No, we were secret keepers.

We were like... Really? Are you like the siblings that like each other? We love each other. Always have never fought. He's three years older than me and we were just like chums. Oh really? And he's still tight now? Yeah, as tigers.

That's weird. Never narked. And we've had narkable offences but we've always just shared and like helped each other get out of some sticky situations. It's kind of like your hope as a parent that if you're not going to hear about it, you hope one of the siblings is going to step up. Are your daughters, will they sell each other out? Yep.

Yep. Oh, yeah. No, but the older one has to. The minute trouble's looming, they'll sell each other out. Yeah, same. Because my brother was quite responsible. So when he was like 19 and I was 16 and I was up

to no good, he would like pick me up and take me home. Oh no. Narc territory. No, no. No narc-ing. I would have used that to get ahead and get stuff out of mum and dad. I don't know. My brother used to write down the kilometres on the clock before I left home.

And then when I got home, he'd note them down again. He was like a log book. And then he'd say in front of mum and dad, oh, so where did you go today? And I'd say, and he'd be like, interesting, because that's significantly less kilometres than the car has accrued. Where were the extra 50Ks to? Yeah, where'd you go?

50Ks isn't a small amount. It's over a marathon. Oh, my God. Yeah, he loved that shit. I know. He loved it. What about your parents? Have you ever narked on your parents?

No. No, I wouldn't have heard a nark on them, too. And my parents don't really. But do you think anyone, I mean, on the back of the, this is a little nark. Yeah. Right. And it's cute. See, you know, it's not really a nark.

It's not cute that her dad's not washing his hands. No. That's not cute. Letting down the team of five million. But is there anyone listening that's actually had to narc on family? Like maybe because there was something criminal? Yeah. Because what are you doing?

I cannot remember who. One of my friends called the cops on their brother who had a little plastic bag in his drawer filled with green stuff. They didn't let that slide. Called the cops. I can't remember who it was. I didn't go to a verse for an opportunity

to sort this out. No, didn't tell the parents. Just called the cops. Called the cops. And what, did they come round? And they came round. And did they arrest him? No, no.

Oh, okay, right. But they would have put the shits up him. Oh my God. As a teenager. What a narc. Crazy. I'd be able to forgive.

Like, go to your parents. Yeah, yeah, narc to the parents. Yeah, and then they can deal with that. No, you're already wrong. Don't narc to the parents. Sibling code. No, no, there's no sibling code. Because I'm imagining the deep-rooted part of it

is everybody's vying to be favourite. See, your parents disliked you equally, so you were on your own. We were each other's favourite They were like screw you two So 0800DARLS.M let's take some calls You can text 9696 Have you ever had to narc on a family member

Narc Are we taking calls just narcing to the authorities Or narcing to other families Higher power maybe you narced on mum to grandma It's a generational The hierarchy What narked on mum to grandma. It's a generational narking. Right, okay. The hierarchy. What about narking on mum to dad?

Yes. We accept those. We accept those calls. Okay. Because those are the good ones. Those are always like dad says he's not smoking anymore and you catch him smoking so you get to nark to mum. Or what if you found out one of your parents was cheating

and then you had to nark to the other parent? Oh, would I? What a conundrum, would I? Would you? Would you? 0800Diles.com Give us a call. You can text 9696 whenever you had to narc on a family member. Talk about when you've narced on a family member. After a small child wrote a letter to the Prime Minister about Dad not

washing his hands properly. He wasn't using soap or doing the full 30 seconds. No, 20 seconds. 20 seconds. If you've got the extra 10 seconds, use the extra 10 seconds. Oh, you'll be probably burning your skin off at that point. I'm quite eczema-y after that small lockdown. Oh, right, because of the dryness of the moisturizer.

Yeah, the old hand, Sandy, that wrecks havoc on the skin. Oh, it does. It does, but hey, no COVID. No COVID. Yeah. So taking some calls, anonymous first up, you've knocked on a family member. Yes, good morning, I have. Which family member was this?

It was a cousin of mine. Okay, and what had they done? I don't know if I'm allowed to say. Okay. You can insinuate. So basically we worked together and she was caught doing something very naughty in the bathroom and I had no choice but to tell our boss on her. What?

Hang on. So you worked in the same office place or workplace as your cousin? Yes, yep. And then they were up to noughties. Well, Fletch and I are both doing hand gestures of what we think it could be. It's either of a drug nature or a sexual nature. Which one?

I'm going to go with the first one. Drug, drug. Drug, that was what I... So then they were up, ping, ping, pinging in the bathroom. Hey, oh, pinging in the bathroom, pinging in the bathroom, pinging in the bathroom. I come out, it's a bloody bathroom, pinging in the bathroom, pinging in the bathroom.

I come out, it's a bloody good day, and then you... Time to get back to work. Did you have a moral conundrum? Were you in turmoil over this decision to tell the boss? I was, and I was humming and harring, but at the end of the day, I was like, well, screw you. I'm not going to go down for you if it gets down down. They knew that I knew.

It's the Titanic, and you're getting on the boat. You're not going to keep playing the violin. Yeah, exactly. All right, she's in the engine room pinging in the Titanic. Hey, oh, pinging in the Titanic. Put my coal, put my coal, put it in the fire. Here comes the water. We're sinking, we're sinking.

Have you two been in the bathroom during that song? Ruby, thanks for your call, Anonymous. Ruby, you knocked on a family member. Who was it? I knocked on my dad to my mum, which is the worst offence. Oh, my gosh. Ruby, what did dad do? My dad works in the city centre and he goes for his lunchtime stroll through the city

centre and he got convinced to sign up for monthly donations to a religious group. What? Or I think a charity slash religious group. Okay, right. And you had to tell mum that dad was secretly siphoning off money. Oh, well, mum's the breadwinner, so I just felt, you know, I had to say something. She has to know. She has to know where her money's going.

It's hard. I tell you what, because I walk through the city centre every day to go home after work and they are on every corner. What do you say? And they always have a smart-ass comment for everything. Yeah, I'm always just like, oh my God, I'm in such a rush. Too much of a rush for God? Yeah.

The dolphins? I'm like, God's everywhere. He can keep up with me. He can sell me the pitch on the way. I've got to be somewhere. Ruby, thanks for your call. Some text messages. When I was seven, I heard my dad get home from night shift.

Early at around midnight, I was seven, I heard my dad get home from night shift early at around midnight. I was so excited to see dad. I looked out my bedroom window and I saw dad's mate running out from the garage. I said, dad, Sam just ran out of the garage. Did he get a ride home with you? Found out years later that I had knocked dad about mum cheating on him. Because Sam was going to get out of there, but dad came home from work early. What?

With his friend. Oh, my God. Scandal. Scandal. When I was five, a police officer came to our door of my grandmother's house asking for my mum, not wanting to get anybody into any trouble. Nan said, no, she's not here. The cop said, do you know where she is?

Nan said, no, I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her. And I said, Nan, are you old and forgetful? You know where mum was. She was just here. She's popped home to the address and read out the address, set out the address out loud. The cop wrote it down.

I never told my mum this, and I still have no idea what it was for, but I'm 36, and I can still feel guilty about the fact that I told the cops who my mum was. Oh my God, you have to ask her. You have to ask her. I would. I'd be like, do you remember when I did this? What was it for?

I got home once. It was quite funny. My daughter had knocked on me. They were doing an environment thing at school and they were talking about littering and my daughter had knocked on me for every time I finish an apple core, I throw it out the window.

And there was a letter and everything and a story about how I threw apple cores out the window when I went to, yeah, when I went to parent-teach interviews, it was a big poster about my prolific littering. My husband had given up smoking. Our husband, when my husband has given up smoking, my son wouldn't think twice about narking.

If he once even smelt smoke on my husband and said, I think Dad's smoking again. Well, it's of interest to the son, isn't it? That his dad doesn't smoke. So good on him for narking. And more money for lollies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gifts.

I had to call the police on my uncle who was living with us because he'd fallen on hard times and mum reluctantly took him in when I found a very large container of what turned out to be methamphetamine. Oh, okay. I was only 16 but didn't feel guilty in the slightest. No. Because we gave him another chance and he threw it back in our face. Yeah.

Wow. When I was 11, my dad tried to get us into the zoo cheaper. But then I didn't want to be short-changed on how old I was in case there was an experience in there that I had to be a certain age for. Oh, yeah, okay. So I spoke up when dad said, oh, the kids are all under 10. I said, actually, I am 11 years old. I'm a grown-up.

I'm an adult now. I reckon that would happen a lot. Oh, yeah, totally. Have you ever had to tell your girls to? Yeah, but you've got to prep them. Yeah. You've got to prep them. Be like, say you're four. We all know you're six. That them. You've got to prep them. Be like, say you're four.

We all know you're six. That's fine. That's all good. But just say you're four. It's cheaper for Dad. It's a game. It's part of a game. You'll get lollies if you lie. Yeah, we'll use that extra money on lollies and then you don't. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is

your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damian Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, there is nothing quite like a pandemic to bring you closer together to your loved one.

Apparently. News to me. You know, we heard a lot about COVID divorces and peaks in relationship counselling are trending. But apparently, according to this survey, a lot of people believe that being in lockdown with their lover made their relationship stronger. In fact, 59% of couples surveyed believe that COVID has made, COVID as a whole, all the stress of it and lockdowns, has made their relationship stronger.

And only 8% of those surveyed felt that their relationship was weaker due to COVID, which is surprising because it's very stressful. Well, I guess it would just end, and most of them would have ended, right, if they felt that they were in way worse that end. It was either going to make or break. Well, this is what they're saying is if you went into COVID in a good place, you're probably stronger now. If you went into the COVID epidemic, pandemic, already at breaking point, chances are you're not together anymore.

You broke. But yeah, they're saying that there's lots of reasons like being working from home, you could start to appreciate the work that each of you do for your relationship. You're forced to spend more time together. People saying that it's brought them emotionally and physically closer. Lies. Physically. Because they've been in the home, they've had to find new ways of connecting with each other.

Yeah. Which has found themselves telling their partners more how much they love them, cooking and cleaning together as opposed to separately and having deep and meaningful chats because there's nothing else to do. Do you think people saw that they were going to be locked down and some people continue around the world to be locked down with their partner

and they thought, well, I'm going to have to put in effort and then it was that conscious effort of putting that into the relationship. Maybe, yeah, maybe. Yeah, and this is also saying, yeah, a level of consciousness brought to the relationship so that when you're in lockdown with your lover, that you're actually forced to confront some of the issues that maybe in your daily life you can just sort of push to the side.

So I just Googled divorce and COVID. And in the EU, Italy is one of the EU countries that have reported an increase in divorces 60% in 2020. The increase in divorces is 60%. But one of the few, yeah, it doesn't seem like that's an overall trend.

I think it just made you reassess everything. Really? Is this the person? Yeah. Is this the person? Yeah. Is this the job I want to be doing? I've lost my job, you know? And then that's sort of... And maybe you're with someone for comfort,

but then you're at home in your track pants all day. So comfort was already taken care of. Times Live, reporting South Africa, says divorce lawyers have seen definitely a rise during the pandemic. Wow. With just all the pandemic. Wow. With just all the pressures. Maybe when they're talking about these relationships,

in this study, they're not specifically talking about marriages. So maybe marriages were splitting and these new sort of younger relationships were getting stronger. But your divorce is coming, I'm telling you. The title tune. You will not forget this time. The honeymoon period's over soon. Oh my god, imagine if your honeymoon

period was in lockdown. Ugh! I love my partner. I've made this whole segment seem like I just cannot stand him. But I mean, lockdown. We were in a one bedroom house. Yeah, not a lot of room. Not a lot of room. And each other's faces.

Yeah. And he's a big lad, so even if you were in the kitchen, you could still see his feet through the door. That would be really annoying. I just want some space. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. For a light yog yesterday morning in the a.m., a yog. I went for a yog this weekend. Yeah, you've got shin splints as a result. I've got shin splints as a result, yeah. Do. A yog. I went for a yog this weekend. Yeah, you've got shinsplints as a result.

I've got shinsplints as a result, yeah. Do you not yog that much? I haven't yogged for about maybe a year. Oh, wow. I got really into yogging for a while, and then I was like, you know what? It's not for me. And I just felt it the other day. I was like, I'm going to go for a little yog around the block.

Yeah. I need new shoes. I've yogged my shoes out. I got new shoes last year because with all the lockdowns and stuff, yogging's been my... The gym I belong to is not right by my house, so sometimes I can't be bothered going to the gym, so

I'll just yog. Sometimes I can't be bothered going to my gym and I live 60 metres away from it. I find some things on country roads doing yogs. I've found like four or five cell phones that have been like, I presume, burner phones. Like for drug deals. Yeah, yeah.

Don't pick them up. Sim cards removed. And like sometimes I snapped in half and chucked out the window. Really? Yeah, yeah. And I'd always take them home and plug them in to see if I can get them to go.

And you always find lots of empty pals. Vaughan's always like, stop throwing your pals out the window in the country. Just stringing the pals. And they're like, ah, delicious pals. Moof. Out the window. I shan't be taking this can home. Moof.

Out the window. And Nangs. Oh, really? What are those? They're these little silver containers that I only know from my extensive pastry chefing when I need to whip the cream and I'm short on time. What are you doing out here, Nang?

Who's whipping a cream on the road and then throwing it out the window? People just chucking them out the window. Who's doing littering? Be a tidy Kiwi. Littering is so early 2000s. I would even say it's 80s. We don't litter. I grew up in the 90s.

I littered. We were called litterbugs. And, I grew up in the 90s. I littered. Yeah. Litter bugs. We were called litter bugs. And if you littered, you had to go, you spend your lunchtime going around and picking up all the litter. Picking up everybody else's litter. Yeah.

Fair enough. So I'm out running. It's not the littering that caught my eye. I just see a guy. And because I'm always like, hi, to people. Yeah. Hi, when you're out running. You're that guy.

Yeah. If someone else is on the bike, because lots of people were on their bikes yesterday in big groups, because, I don't know, it was level two. You're cheery. They're like. When you're out running. You're that guy. Yeah. If someone else is on the bike, because lots of people were on their bikes yesterday in big groups, because I don't know, it was level two. Cherry.

They're like, you know, you try to look, you try to look like you're enjoying it. And so I'm jogging and there's an older man and he's kind of

pottering around his garden. Oh yeah. And I'm kind of like watching and he's walking and he's stopping and then he'll stop for a little bit and then he'll walk onto the next plant and he's like looking at the plants. I'm kind of like watching and he's walking and he's stopping and then he'll stop for a little bit

and then he'll walk onto the next plant and he's like looking at the plants. I'm like, he's just doing a bit of an evaluation seeing how they're going,

maybe spotting if there's any issues with the leaves. And as I get closer, he turns towards me. I'm running along the road and we make direct eye contact and it's at that stage

I realise he's urinating on all of his citrus trees. And I lock eyes with a man who I presume would be in his 60s. Yeah. As I look, I'm not, like, close enough to look, but I see at his hand, his hand is holding his wang, and he's taking a whazz on his citrus trees. Hang on.

How much urine does this gentleman have to be able to go? And then to stop midstream and then move to the next citrus tree. And then obviously you're not tucking it away between wazzes on different trees. So he's shuffling along. He's got it out and he goes. Side step. Stop. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Wah. Stop. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. He's got it out And he goes Stop Stop He must have had such a bursting bladder

I wonder if it was his first of the day How many trees? Well I don't know He had a whole bunch of trees But I only personally saw him like Actually wazzing on Like go get some fertiliser Like everybody else

Yeah get some blood and bones, some lime. But you saw his. I locked eyes with him as he turned, because he was like wazzing on that tree, wazzing on that tree. Then he turned to wazze on the tree behind. And that's when you locked eyes. And that's when I locked eyes with him and realized that he was wheezing on his trees.

And he looked at me and I was like, hi. And I waved. Why did you acknowledge him? Because we've locked eyes. It was weird. Look away. No, he wasn't going to look away. I was like, hi.

And he was with his bare hand. He was like, morning. I was like, all right, he's all right by me. He doesn't care. Wow. Because I waze on my lemon. I waze on my citrus. Really?

Oh, yeah. If I'm outside doing something, and and I need to go to the bathroom, I'll just go over to one of the citrus trees. Right. Nature's fertilizer. And go on it. Is it really proven? It's urea and urine, and it's a good fertilizer.

Citrus trees love it. I think tomatoes. Is it tomatoes? Don't plant tomatoes. Tomatoes are serious. You've got to eat that. It wears on it. Yeah, but it wears on the stem. You're not got to eat, yeah. Yeah, but you're whazzing on the stem.

You're not whazzing on the fruit. Yeah, but it goes up. No, but it spritzes onto the tomatoes, and then we all wash our vegetables. You've got to give the tomatoes a rinse, but. Oh. Yeah, I locked eyes with an older dude as he was weighing penis in hand. Wow.

As he was weighing on his lemon trees. Did you have a, were you, how much of the penis did you see? Oh, I didn't, I wasn't, like, come on, give us a chance. You lit up there, you lit up there. You could see that there was a penis, you could see that. Because it's funny. How many metres away from this man were you?

Well, I would have been from, well, how far is it from here to the other side of that digital billboard just outside, like, 25, 30 metres? Yeah, 25 metres, 30 metres? Yeah, 25 metres. 30 metres. My vision isn't great at distance. You would have

absolutely eagle-eyed it. I've got good eyesight. 2020, this guy can read a road sign a kilometre. You would have been like I'm like that movie you know in the fighter jets

and that little green box goes and then it locks in and then I fire. I've got eagle eyes. Right. Specifically on other men's penises or is that just in general?

I just lock in on them and then I fire. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Not national. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Here's another one. Soundkick Rouse.

Happy International Women's Day. Thank you. I was looking forward to that. NZM's secret sound. All thanks to Star Streaming now on Disney+, including more originals like Solar Opposites. You can learn more at DisneyPlus.com. Joining us this morning, Jo.

Good morning. Oh, my gosh. Jo, happy International Women's Day. Another lady. Yay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're outnumber. Happy International Women's Day. Another lady. Yay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're outnumbered now, Fletch. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I lost count. Three, two. I was like, there's two of you. I'm okay. All right, Jo. ZM Secret Sound, have you gone through all of the clothes that we've had and the wrong guesses? I sure have.

Okay, so you think your guess works in with the clothes that we've had and the wrong guesses i sure have okay so you think your guess works in with the clothes that we've given you um i'd like to think so all right well thirty thousand dollars is yours if you can tell us what this sound is i i think it's the winding up of like a manual watch, not the digital watches. Manual watch, okay. You know, the old-fashioned wind-up watches. Yeah, the Gen Z and X-Force was like, what the hell? A manual watch? No.

Watches come in manual? I like the specific, how specific it is. Yeah, so thank you for the manual. It's a very, yeah. Because I do have, I have got a modern watch with one of these I guess it's much like your if you've got a digital like an Apple watch it's like the crown turn dial on that right

you wind it up every 24 hours like an analogue watch to your Apple watch there's no similarities the only thing they haven't given is the bit on the side for those that don't know, that you would just wind it every 24 hours to wind it up, to give it the power, right?

Just like you charge the Apple Watch. You actually charge the watch? No, you don't charge that. You plug it into a wall. It springs inside and you wind it and it turns the spring and then it slowly clock, like clockwork, tick, tick, tick, tick, ticks undone. But every so often it needs to be wound again.

Very coggy. I'm guessing the fact that we're explaining this to Sagi Bowles isn't really looking good for Jojo. Do you know what a Roman bowler is? Yes. I do, I do. Right, we'll go down to it, Jo. $30,000.

A manual watch. Are you getting a call? Who's calling Joe? Joe, answer it on speaker. They're probably going to tell you you're on the radio. Oh, maybe. Who is it? It's my work.

I've just hung up on them. Oh! Look at that. That's a sucker. Hanging up on your work's antics of somebody who's $30,000 richer. All right, Joe, we'll get down to it before work gets mad. $30,000. That is not the secret sound.

Wow. You've got $100, though, Jo. Every wrong guess gets $100. So congratulations. Thank you so much. Your next shot at the secret sound is coming up at 11 o'clock. We'll give you chances throughout the day at 11, 1, 4, and 5. Flesh, Vaughan, and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Should I feel guilty? Listen up, scumbags. Sorry, that was good cop, bad cop, not judge. Hi, I'm Judge Vaughan. And if you've got a problem and you're like, should I feel guilty about this? Then you can, I've got a wig hair in my eye.

I tell you what, as a bald man, having hair in your eyes is horrible. Yeah. It's something I had forgotten about, but it's itchy. It's worse when you apply lip balm and then the wind blows your hair onto your lips. Onto your lips. Long hair people will feel me there.

I get that sometimes if I smirch my cat and I get cat hair onto your lips. Long hair people will feel me there. I get that sometimes if I smooch my cat and I get cat hair on my lips. Stop licking your cat. I'm not licking my cat. You're licking your cat. I smooch my cat. They eat dead rats. True.

They kill them when they're alive and then they eat them when they're dead. So this is the email I've received today. So caught in session. We really need a new gavel. It's embarrassing. Because you need the gavel, but then you also need the gavel pad, the thing that the gavel hangs on.

Well, do you want to use my mouse pad? That might make it sound better. I think it will do it. Hang on. It's made it worse. No, it's no good. I'll use a cup. Hold on, I'll just turn it upside down.

Wait a minute, let's just smash a cup in the studio. No, nothing's working. Okay, let's get a wooden one of those. Here's the email. Hi, Judge Vaughan. Good day. Please approach the bench. I have a problem I need your ruling on.

My sister and I are currently both pregnant. Okay. Congratulations. I hope it's the different men. I'd say so. And our due dates are just two weeks apart. Okay. They might have been at the same event.

You don't want to go, yeah, no. It sounds like a lockdown baby to me. Yeah, it does. This could be the other day she was reading me her list of top baby names. As she has not does. This could be the other day she was reading me her list of top baby names and she has not found out the gender of the baby so has a top three

for boys and girls. Okay. This is an organised sister. This sounds like the more organised of the two sisters. So with the top, I mean, you've had babies. Okay, yes.

But you have a top three list. You get it out and then you see what it... Yeah, and then you look at it. Yeah, you do. You actually do. Yeah, okay. So do you try?

Do you look at the list and then look at the baby and be like, Peter. Hello, Peter. Peter. And it doesn't look. You're like, doesn't look like that one. So the sister shared that with the other pregnant sister. Other sister, yeah.

Now, sister one who has messaged said, I know I'm having a boy. You may remember sister two has not found out the gender. That's why she's got the top three for each gender. I know I'm having a boy. And one of the names I adore is on her list for boys. I told her this at the gender. That's why she's got the top three for each gender. I know I'm having a boy and one of the names I adore is on her list for boys. I told her this at the time and she said, well, shotgun.

It's not the front seat. I think that's it. No, that's it. Shotgun rules. They call it shotgun. Caught over. Could they see the car at the time? Could we get her on a loophole? I don't have a physical list that I could show her to prove I was already thinking about this name. And I don't want her thinking I'm copying her, but I genuinely love that name

and have had it in mind for years. If I have my baby first, is it open season on the naming? Oh, this is hard. So she might have it. She could have it two weeks before because what is she saying? She's due two weeks before.

Yeah, okay. Two weeks apart. Just do it. Your Honour. Counsel. Question I want to put forward for evidence. Do we know the name? No, the name's not actually on here.

Is it weird that the sister even shared the name? Because most people keep it really secret, don't they? Their potential names. Well, some people like go all out and give the whole name

and everything. I don't know some people that are like, this is the name, we're having a girl and this is what we're calling her before the baby's even out. Yeah, and they're like

waiting for baby Jenny. Yeah. Okay. Jenny's kissing. You're like, there's still time to change your mind on Jenny. No, no, we're sticking with Jenny.

For the purpose of this argument, the baby name is Jenny. kissing. And you're like, there's still time to change your mind on Jenny. No, no, we're sticking with Jenny. For the purpose of this argument, the baby name is Jenny. Okay. Well, it's a boy. It's a boy. Jen. Yeah. Jenny. Gino.

Yeah, Gino. Gino. Gino. Gino. Huge fan of pizza. So, I mean, she's first. If she's first, name it, done. You can't call shotgun on a name.

So your sister. And she's got two others to fall back on, right? Yeah, exactly. So the sister has expressed, I want Gino. Yeah. And then the other sister, the sister who's emailed in is like, oh, damn, I wanted Gino. I wanted Gino.

I just was keeping it, mum. So she's going to give birth. Yeah. Boy. She looks at it and she's like, hi, Gino. And Gino's like, hi, mum. Mummy, where's the pizza? What is she supposed to do?

But then I feel for the other sister who's like, well. See, as previously mentioned in the show, you're very tight with your brother. I am very tight. So you're imagining two sisters that are very tight. I'm imagining my brother, my brother's partner being pregnant and me being pregnant and me being like, I love the name Jenny. I'm going to go back to Jenny.

Yeah. And he's like, no, we're calling our kid Jenny. In a way, I'm like, call them both Jenny. No, you can't have two kids. You can't have cousins called Jenny. You can't have cousins with the same name. How much time are we going to spend together? All right, well, 0800 TARLES at M.

We want to take your calls now. 9696. You can text in. We want to know if she should feel guilty about... About having a name that she loves, that her sister also has written down on a list, that she's like bags, even though she's due earlier. What's the whole rigmarole?

Has this happened to you? Yeah, maybe you've been in the situation where a friend had the same name and you got in there first. Or someone else trumped you and got in there first. Should I feel guilty? Order in the courtroom. We have a plaintiff, plaintiff, plaintiff, plaintiff, plaintiff.

Somebody's turned up and they said, Lookie, lookie, lookie here. A plaintiff. A plaintiff. A plaintiff. Somebody turned up and they said, looky, looky, looky here. A plaintiff. A plaintiff. A plaintiff. What court dramas have you been watching? A plaintiff. Can the plaintiff approach?

Also, we need a wooden hammer. That plastic hammer is laughable. You will be held in contempt of court if you stop laughing in my courtroom. This is serious. I can also see the mesh net of your wig. Oh, my wig's falling around. So should I feel guilty?

Somebody said, I am currently pregnant. So is my sister. I'm due just before her. I don't know. I'm having a boy. She doesn't know what she's having. Presumably it will be a human child. Yeah.

She has a top three names for boys, top three names for girls. One of the names on her boys list is my pick. Is it open season if I have baby first? She did call a shotgun, but a baby is not a front seat of a car on a road trip. Famously, they're not. Famously, no. So what do you think? Has this happened to you?

Should she feel guilty? Meta New, what do you think? Look, I think I was just sort of blown out of the gate to know that I'd come up with what I thought was quite a unique name and she's that, you know. And then all of a sudden, she's come forward and, you know, come up with the same name. And it was, you know, her thought.

And I'm going, what? I think the most awkward thing was nothing was discussed. And my son's eight months now and she now has a three-year-old. So, yeah, I was flying out the gate to know that she stole my name. But hey, that is what's right. So you stuck with it. You named your child this name and she had obviously stolen it and named her child that name.

So I obviously chose a different name. But we had, I guess, our top three names that we were going to go with. And obviously the top one being the one that she chose. So you backed down. You went, you win. You know what? I did. First out of the game.

This is why I know a lot of people keep their baby name secret. Like they tell their partner and that is it. Maybe their bestest friend. This is my I know a lot of people keep their baby name secret. Like they tell their partner and that is it. Maybe their bestest friend. This is my first one, so I've certainly learned my lesson for next time, right? Sometimes they tell their partner. So your partner wasn't involved in naming their child. Sometimes you can't trust them.

So do you think that this person that has emailed in should feel guilty? You do? Yeah, look, I think a little bit, right? You know, come on. Yeah, I do. I do. I do. Come up with your own name.

Yeah, okay. The uniqueness of this name, though, like, our caller said that they chose a really unique name. Yeah. But this could be a, you know, a bog standard. Bog standard. It could be a bog standard Brit. Just a boring old British name. John.

Just a James. Yeah. Stacey, what do you think? You've had this happen to you? Yes. I have a sister who's seven years older than me. And she had her baby first. And I have had the boy named Jackson since I was maybe seven years older than me and she had her baby first and I have had the boy named Jackson since

I was maybe seven years old um and she knew I am younger so she was going to get pregnant first yeah but I didn't know that she ever thought that Jackson was a cool name and it's even the spelling that I wanted, J-A-X-O-N. And she stole it. Yeah, so she stole it. Now I have a nephew who's like almost three and his name is Jackson. And I love him to pieces but like it's my name.

I love him but you'll never love him completely. Admit it. I love him, I love him but you will know one day that that was actually my name. What about Y-A-Q-Q-Z-O-N? You know what? I actually thought about just chucking like something silent in there. Yeah, yeah.

Do it. Like J-A-X-Z-O-N or something like that. Or a T-J-A-Q-Q-X-O-N-E. P. And then it's like tsunami. It's a silent T. Yeah. It's a T, yeah. Yeah.

Or a K at the start, like on a knife. Yeah, do a K at the start. Do a K and then a first sound, P-H. Oxen. Yes. It's like a five in there, eh? Yeah. You know, like the sand with theen. Yeah. You've got the five in there, eh? Yeah. You know, like the sand

with the five. This is also how they name medications. Yeah. Change the J to a Y, change the F to a P-H. Yeah. Just get a couple of X's in there.

And then take a Jaxacillin in the morning and then a Jaxacillin right before bedtime. Get a shot of the old Jaxacillin. Don't OD on the Jaxacillins. All right, thanks for your call, Stacey.

Yeah, so it's happening. Text messages in. Someone said, these people obviously aren't Greek. My name is Felia and I have three cousins who are also called Felia. My brother's name is Kostas

and in our cousin group there are four other Kostases. If you're going on a family trip to the Hydra side and they'll be like, Kostas! Kostas Feleli has left you. But is this a family name?

Like that's sort of different. You give your firstborn your parents' name. Oh, okay. Probably solved. Oh. I have a cousin and a sister both born on the same day, two hours apart, both called Amy. Okay.

I feel like maybe. No one's called Amy anymore, right? This is why I wanted to know the name of our emailer because if it's a bog standard, as you wanted to call it, if it's a sort of a classic name. If it's an Amy or an Emily or an Olivia. I mean, it was a female, yeah. But if it's, you know, Jehoopinia or whatever. Jehoopinia.

Now, how would you spell Jehoopinia? I'd go Y-T-Y-A-A-A, but one of the A's has an omelette. Jahoop. Not an H. I don't want to use an H. That's too predictable. F. I really just want to apologise to all the Jahoopanias.

We shouldn't be laughing at your name. They're loving it. They're hearing their names somewhere. They've never got any souvenirs with Jahoopanias written on it. Jahoopanias. That's brilliant. They're loving it. They're hearing their names somewhere. They never got any souvenirs with Jehovah Naya written on it. Jehovah Naya. It's brilliant. Holy shit. Hard to find a key ring.

And they're never getting a good solid minute on the radio. They can't believe it. Our poll, should I feel guilty? 66% saying no, you shouldn't feel guilty. Use the baby's name. Just do it. She doesn't even know if she's having a boy. If she has a girl, the name's gone to waste.

Yeah. Get in there. Use it. Do it. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, watching movies about relationships.

Yeah. And then discussing that movie afterwards with your partner lowers divorce rates as much as intensive early marriage counseling. Oh, okay. So if you watch movies like rom-coms or movies centered around a relationship, and it doesn't have to be a successful relationship. It could be a relationship falling to bits that doesn't resolve itself in the end. But if it's a movie about relationships and then afterwards you discuss that movie. Like, I like the part in that movie where Adam Sandler, yes,

had to remind Drew Barrymore every morning that they were in love. I liked the part in that movie when she tried to lose a guy in 10 days. Yes. That's my favourite rom-com. Well, you could watch that, but as long as you discuss it afterwards. But the trouble with rom-coms Is they always end happy Don't they?

Most of them No Well Do you know the one That always cut me Was The Breakout Yeah I was just about to cite that

As you expect Vince Vaughn And Jennifer Aniston To get back together In the end Yeah being like a happy Bubbly rom-com And actually

It's very sad But it's more realistic Very real And then they run into each other Some months later And kind of like go Huh Remember being like a happy, bubbly rom-com. And actually, it's very sad. But it's more realistic. And then they run into each other some months later and kind of like go, huh, remember? Huh, us. So five movies about relationships over a month. And then you discuss, after you watch each movie, you discuss the movies.

And this study involved 174 couples and compared their early marriage. And some did counselling, some did nothing some watched the movies and the ones that watched the movies and discussed aspects of the relationships portrayed on the screen lasted their three year divorce rate went

from 24% to 11% Wow So you talk about specifically what the couples do in the movie. Yeah, and aspects of like, I've always thought if you cheated on your partner and then every time you were watching a movie that involved someone cheating on someone, wouldn't it be like really awkward to be watching it? Yeah.

I always think that. It would be like, especially if they knew, because they'd be like, remember that time you cheated on them? Yeah. Barry. We have moved on this seems familiar doesn't it

oh wow is that how it went down with you two movies from the study was the original A Star Is Born with Judy Garland like the 1954 one

not the Lady Gaga one Gaga Lady Gaga Gaga Lady Gaga Gaga darling as good as it gets

Jack Nicholson Helen Hunt that's from 1997. I saw one with Matthew Perry. Fool's Russian, Matthew Perry, Salma Hayek. Okay. Matt Perry and Salma Hayek. That casting.

How far down the list do you reckon they got? That's the thing. It doesn't need to be like Academy Award winning. There's like Gone With The Wind. Are we calling Gone With The Wind a rom-com? Not a rom-com, but it's a movie about relationships. It doesn't have to be a rom-com. It just has to be central.

The central idea of the movie has to be a relationship. Right. Nine Months, the Hugh Grant movie's in there. Steel Magnolias is in there. Oh, I love a Hugh Grant rom-com. I just can't ever imagine sitting down after a movie and saying to Aaron, let's discuss. Would you even be able to get him to watch a rom-com?

Oh, no, he loves a rom-com. Oh, does he? Yeah. Okay. Aaron has very fine taste in movies, unless I'm like, should we watch a rom-com? And he's always like, yes. Every now and then we're like, what do you want to watch?

And he'll be like, something with Paul Rudd in it. Oh, my God. But you can't go wrong with Paul Rudd because you know there's going to be humour and love. Yeah. Paul Rudd. Look know there's going to be humour and love. Yeah. Paul Rudd. Look at us. So today's fact of the day is if you watch five movies

about relationships over a month with your partner and discuss the movie afterwards, that is as good for your relationship as marriage counselling and will lower your divorce rate. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Tuesday, 8.30 tomorrow, TVNZ 2. You guys will be filming after the show today.

Who are the guests? Ben Jammin Hurley. Yes. Ben Hurley. Thomas Hillary. Patricia Sainsbury. Oh, Tom Sainsbury. Always a favourite.

And Angela McIntosh. Patricia as well. Yeah, coincidentally. It's Angela Driver's first show. And for those that don't know, Ange won Taskmaster that was on last year. And, oh, she's a quiet riot. So she gets to choose whatever show she wants to be on now.

She's hosting Lotto next week. Basically. And you can be in the audience. Just text the keyword Hayley to 9696. Fire you back a link. You can fill that out, get free tickets, and head along for the Monday, normally Monday evenings, aren't they? Yes.

Over the weekend I have removed three of my fingers' fingerprints. Permanently? I don't know. The jury's out. One of them's just smooth. You can still see the print. One of them is marked, shall we say, and one

of them's just gone. Very, very smear of... I was barbecuing and I was using my rendered beef fat. Remember when I got all that beef fat and I put it in the crockpot for ages and I rendered it down and I said I was going to use it for cooking? I used it for cooking twice the weekend and both were

succulent. Lord. Succulent pieces of beef. But there was a little bit left in the bottom of the jar. So I put the jar upside down over the meat in the barbecue to get it to drip out. But then that caused

what I believe chefs call a fat fire. Oh no. And I opened the lid of the barbecue and I was met with a wall of flames leaping out hoping to kiss me and remove me of all the hair on my face. But it didn't. It was a way back. But I was like, whoa. And then I saw that this jar was on fire and I grabbed it with the tongs and I started moving it and it tumbled out of the tongs and it was going to go onto the deck. Now it was hard. I don't know. I didn't want it to break,

but I also didn't want it to mark the deck. So I caught it with my hand. You idiot. I caught it with my hand and quickly flipped it onto the chopping board I had beside the barbecue. So I was like, catch, fool. And I was like, man. Now, I'll tell you what.

I didn't even look at them. That was hot. Oh, dear. I didn't even look at them little fingers. You burnt your fingerprints. So, yeah, for these three, the main amount, I'm glad I didn't catch need to look at them little fingers. You burnt your fingerprints off. So yeah, for these three, the main amount, I'm glad I didn't catch it with the whole palm of my hand but just the main part of the

so quick it happened. I was only touching it for a moment and it wasn't over like direct flame either. I burnt my this, the middle finger on my left hand fingertip off, the fingerprint off the top of it and mine didn't go smooth.

Mine went like, you know when you burn hair and it goes, and it goes like a scrambled jiggly. Yes. It did that. So at the top of my fingertip on the left hand, it's, yeah, like a jumbled scramble. So very definitive, like at a crime scene. If they had your fingerprints, it would match.

Yeah, it would be like fingerprint, fingerprint. What the hell is that? Old squiggle fingers. Yeah, mine was on the iron. And I remember I was possessed. I was a teenager and I was on the phone just talking to a friend. I was on the landline. That's how long ago it was.

I was on the landline talking to a friend and I saw an iron. I just went, hmm. That's how you tested if it was hot or not. No, I wasn't going to iron anything. I just saw it was like, iron. And then I just put my hand on it. That's how you tested if it was hot or not. No, I didn't. I wasn't going to iron anything. I just saw it was like iron. And then I just put my hand on it. Are you hot? This was like, I don't know, 15, 16, 17 years ago.

I've got, I was because my mum was there and she was like, you're a silly boy. That's what she was like. Going to be 40 next year. She's like, what a silly boy. What a silly boy thing to do. And she said, you're always putting your fingers in things. Which is true.

When I was a kid, see this scar across the top of these fingers? These are my other fingerprints on my other hands. We were in a truck with one of Dad's friends and, you know, like a big truck. Not like a little truck. You guys are familiar with trucks?

Okay, so I'm the passenger in the truck and you know the windscreen goes down and that's where the air comes out. If you turn on the fan, I was like, wonder how far down here I can get my fingers, and I stuck them down there straight into some sort of choppy blades. And I remember as a kid being scared that my dad wasn't going to tell me off, so when I pulled them out, I kept my hand close real tight.

And he looked at me, and I just had blood running down my arms, and he's like, what have you done? I was like, nothing. And then I had to get stitches across there. That one there is from when I was waiting for my mum in the car

outside Weight Watchers and... Did you play with the lighter? Yes. I popped the cigarette lighter in and then when I pulled it out I blew on it and it was hot.

It didn't feel that hot. I was like, it can't be that hot and I stuck my finger straight onto the cigarette lighter. It's like a burning coil. Do you know what you are? You're a silly boy, boy. are? You're a silly boy.

He's a silly boy. Infidelity. Come on, own up. Who's done it? Infidelity. Cheating. That's what it was. Cheating. Sleeping around, doing the dirty, cuckolding someone,

whatever you want to call it, it's being unfaithful. And there's... I've never heard that word said on the radio. We're entering our 17th year as a show. I don't think we ever said no. Cuckolding. Is that a bad word? I don't know. I guess it's a hard case. No, it's not. It's an old word. Yeah, it is. Youuckold. Is that a bad word? I don't know.

I guess it's a hard K. It's an old word. Yeah, it is. You're right. It's not. It's a Shakespearean word. I think it's the hard K sound followed up with another hard K sound. It's a horrible word.

If my partner Aaron was able to cheat on me, I would say to him, you have made a cuckold out of me. Right. It's a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful, often regarded as an object of derision. Oh, so he would have made, you would make one out of him. Yeah, but it's National Women's Day. It's National Women's Day, and now it's, sure,

it doesn't have to be gender specific. But this may shock you, but probably not. But turns out men and women see cheating very differently. It's all about the perceived threat. So for men, their biggest issue lies with the physicality, the imagery of thinking about your partner at it with another bloke or woman. Whereas for women, it's more about the emotional,

the perceived emotional connection. Right. Even though there might not be an emotional connection, it's more about women feeling threatened, that it's going to be bigger than just a sexual attack. They might see them again kind of thing, and that they're under threat. Right, okay.

Yeah, but whereas for men, they're just like physical, physical, physical. It's very transactional. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Wow. I mean, that makes sense to me, doesn't it? Women being the more emotional potentially.

Well, we ran a poll. What do you think is worse, emotional cheating or physical cheating? I thought this would have been way higher for physical cheating. Physical cheating, 57% think been way higher for physical cheating. Physical cheating, 57%. I think that's worse than emotional cheating, 43%. Oh. That's still very close though, isn't it? It is.

I would have thought, because physical, I have always thought that physical was like all the way. You've done the thing that is made for the marital bed. Yes. And nothing else. Whereas like emotional, I was like, I can kind of see how friendships may turn and then suddenly these feelings happen.

It's more confusing. It's more blurry. It's the making of a good movie. If you are sleeping with someone that is not your partner, that's black and white. You're like, that's wrong. Whereas when the heart's involved, who are we to say? And what do they call that?

Is it cushioning? Where you have a, there's lots of terms for it, where you have that kind of backup secondary person that you may be emotionally cheating on your partner with now. And you might not even be aware of it. Well, no, it's a cushion. It's a fallback. So if you break up with your partner, it's a safety net.

Lots of terms for it. It's a backup hard drive. It's a time machine. Yeah, it's basically your computer's backup fallback. So if you break up with your partner it's a safety net. Lots of terms for it. It's a backup hard drive. It's a time machine. Yeah. It's basically your computer's backup hard drive. And then you break up with your partner

and you've got the second one. They're ready to go. It's been on the back burner simmering away. And then that relationship is fraught with the fact that they watched you do it to somebody else

so they're only waiting for you to do it to them. Yes. This survey says that women are less likely to forgive men for emotionally cheating rather than physically cheating. So, like, you know, they're talking about relationships, how they recover after an infidelity,

and lots of relationships do. Someone messaged it saying, when it comes to cheating, no one sexually disappoints my wife apart from me. It's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, apart from me if you enjoyed this podcast why not give zms free and clint a listen to subscribe on the iheart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts hit music lives here zm