ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th November 2021

Episode Date: November 7, 2021

Baby Shark  Big Bird  Top 6: Police Hats  1/4 Would Rather text their Ex than...  First Words  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hey! ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McC delivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. Just not too far from heading home, Fletch has let us know he's got to pop in to pick up his online shopping. It's click and collect.

Yeah. Six... Makona sachets. Why are you giving me shit about this? Why did you need six at once? Because every time I go to the supermarket to get my favourite Makona caramel

flavour, they don't have any. It's like living in fucking Cuba at the moment. And anyone that's been to Cuba into a store or a supermarket knows what I'm talking about. It's like Britain at the moment. And anyone that's been to Cuba into a store or a supermarket knows what I'm talking about. It's like Britain at the moment. They've got shelves empty. I'm sorry, Russell Kurtz, but you're coming across

slightly privileged in the fact that you can't get your caramel, a hint of natural caramel in your Macona and you're comparing New Zealand to Cuba. Jesus, go write an opinion piece for the Herald. I've got a lot of love for Cuba. Do you know that you've actually got it too?

Because you know how it says when you get there, oh, this item was in short supply. Oh yeah, we're supposed to switch it out. It's there. It's in one of the online click and click lockers. Which is fantastic. Are you collecting the bricks? Producer Jared really wants the bricks.

If anybody listens to the podcast who's getting the bricks but not collecting them, you can send them to us. But then, do you know- Producer Jared wants those bricks. Shots fired in these supermarket wars here in New Zealand. I mean, overseas listeners will know that we were into the knives that New World had earlier this year. Wow.

They're back. Shots fired. They've got some KitchenAid pans. Well, they look legit, don't they? Oh, shit. What are you talking aboutots fired. They've got some KitchenAid pans. Well, they look legit, don't they? Oh, shit. What are you talking about? I don't know about the KitchenAid pans. Do you not know about this?

I shop at a New World. And that's why a New World was throwing shade at Countdown. You sons of, you cheeky sons of bitches. They said instead of standing on some plastic, get something that you will actually use. Oh, you are so cute. Do you think they were just sitting on all these KitchenAid pots and pans and they were like, we'll just wait for Countdown to bring out their shit. They best have a shit tonne though, otherwise they're going to wear it.

No, they have, what was I reading? It was like 900,000 pieces, I think. Did I read that correctly? No, this is the first I'm hearing about it. KitchenAid club card scan and win mixer terms and conditions. What, is it a mixer? No, you've Googled the wrong thing'm hearing about it. KitchenAid club card scan and win mixer terms and conditions. Is it a mixer? No, you've Googled the wrong thing. Cookware.

Yeah, Horne, you've Googled the wrong thing. Mum's just learning about Google. They have like a matte black casserole dish. I think they've upped it too because I think you've got to spend $30 to get a stamp. But isn't that the same with the plastic? Oh, is it? But last year the knives were $30 to get a stamp. But isn't that the same with the plastic? Oh, is it? But last year, the knives were $20 to get a stamp. Jesus, inflation, eh?

Inflation, yeah. But they look legit. They do look legit. Oh, yeah. These do look good. A little pie dish. Yeah. A little pie dish.

Shame we have to shop at that bloody New World by your house. It sucks. Oh, you don't like that because of all the rich people with their rich cars. Range Rovers are going to mow me down. It's not Range Rovers. It's Ford Rangers you've got to watch. Oh, okay. Those guys drive like assholes.

Yeah, right. And they're the most popular car on the road, so there's a ton of assholes on the road. All right. Well, yeah, supermarket war's on. But I'll get you some bricks, Producer Jared. Can you get me the stamps? Do you have a child or something?

He's a child at heart. Are these for you or a nephew? Yeah, these are for me. I just really like Lego. Are you joking? No judge. Okay, yeah, no judge. So wait, we're going to go around to your house

and you're going to have one of these Countdown Lego Supermarkets set up in your house. That's odd. That's very odd. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan.

Happy 90% to all those three Auckland DHBs this morning. Well, that's a good start to the day, isn't it? Get some traffic light action happening soon. Yeah, that's a good start to the day, isn't it? Get some traffic light action happening soon. Yeah. There's a cabinet meeting today, isn't there? Yes. To decide whether or not to follow through. God, how about the crack the two hundy at the weekend?

Saturday? Yeah. Yesterday was back down, but... But we knew that was coming, right? That's just life going forward, I think. Yeah. Pretty sick of hearing Russell Coots' thoughts on the matter, though. Go back to your mansion, mate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be fine. The world's gone back to normal for multi-millionaire dudes who can afford to do whatever they want. Yeah. The world's always been pretty normal. Coming up on the show today, more chances

at ZM's $50,000 secret sound all thanks to Neon. The extended sound, you guys heard that? No. Ooh. It's extended.

How much extended? Like, can you give it, Will you play it for us now? Will you play it for us or do we have to wait? I don't know if we've loaded it into this button bar.

I don't think we have, have we? Right. Producer Jared's looking for it. Oh. Probably should have organised that before the show. I didn't even think about it. I don't think so. Well, anyway, ZM Secrets on Instagram.

That's where you can listen to it. All the clues that we've had, all the wrong guesses, seven and eight this morning. Always when we give out the extended, it's always at least a week or two and it's gone. Yeah, it starts picking up. I'd be surprised, yeah. So seven o'clock, eight o'clock this morning,

your chances to have a guess. Top six coming up. Yeah, the New Zealand Police have spent $600,000 on new hats. That seems like a lot of money for hats. They got the caps, didn't they? They've gone to caps, which is cool. $600,000 on new hats. That seems like a lot of money for hats. They got the caps, didn't they? They've gone to caps. $600,000. Yeah.

Where are they getting their caps from? The bloody Gucci? Gucci, Versace hats? Yeah, I don't know. They don't look like Gucci or Versace hats. Well, I've got the top six other sorts of hats they probably could have got for cheaper. Okay.

I think a bit of a hat connoisseur. Yeah. All right, it's coming up on the show. Next, people are suing and it has to do with Baby Shark. Oh, jeez.

America. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. A group of former inmates in Oklahoma are suing because they say they were tortured

by jail officials. They made them listen to Baby Shark for hours. Everybody knows. Do made them listen to Baby Shark for hours. Everybody knows. Do you want to YouTube Baby Shark? Everybody knows what Baby Shark is. Everybody knows.

I mean, it's used to torture prisoners. Do you want to play it now? It just feels like... I feel like, yes, we know. I feel like we know. It's cute once. Yeah. Okay.

Hold on. Is this an ad? No. Okay. Is this an ad? No. Oh. Yeah. There's a metal version. Do we roll the dice on that? Oh, really?

Well, it's not going to have swearies in it. No, it wouldn't. Well, who made it? Did they make it? No. Oh, okay. So there could be swearies in it. Oh.

People chose. That. People choose. That sounds ominous. It better have the doo-doo-doo-doos. That's better, isn't it? That's better. Is it? That's your inner Hamilton coming it? That's better. Is it? That's your inner Hamilton coming out, to be honest. I think I do prefer this one, actually.

That could also be my inner Taranaki coming out of me as well. We've all got a little regional New Zealand rocking around deep inside us that prefers, you know. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it's fine once, but they were playing it over and over again for hours. They were making them stand while listening to it. And it was apparently so loud, it was reverberating down the hallways.

Oh, dooms. So they said, look. What were they in there for? I killed someone, but they made me listen to loud music. It's so annoying, so I couldn't get it out of my head. They said it was tantamount to torture, but in Guantanamo Bay, they play heavy metal music really loud.

And they're like, it's worse than that. Baby Shark repeatedly. Well, like that would be worse, yeah. There's like heavy metal and Baby Shark together. Do you know how much the official Baby Shark... First of all, it is the most viewed thing on YouTube. Is it? I knew it was in the top 10.

So what do you reckon? How many views? Do you even know how to read that? Is it in the billions? Must be. Yeah. It's got it written. How many billions?

Something point something B, which stands for billion. Oh my God. Two point something billion? Five? Seven billion. 9? Seven billion. 9.6 billion. But that would be parents just leaving it on loop, right?

Well, there is a one hour loop of Baby Shark underneath that. That's had 127 million views. Wow. So, yeah. And so how much money does that equate to? I don't know. A lot. A lot.

Like, that is a lot. A lot. Like, that is a lot. A lot. It's had, that version we were listening to before has had 360 million plays on Spotify, which is significantly less, but it doesn't have the video accompaniment and there's no way that's getting played more than once in a row in the car.

Good God. Is it? Until it's like, that'll do. Yep, nah, that one, just that'll do. That'll do. That'll do. Right. Apparently the family that started Baby Shark is worth $125 million.

Pretty much because of that. Yeah. Wow. That's US $125 million as well. And they can sleep easy knowing that their song has also been used to torture prisoners. They can. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Well, a study's been done and it's bad news if you listen to music

right before you go to bed. A study's found that if you listen to music before bedtime, your brain continues to process the melody while you sleep. Why's that bad? Well, apparently it's a phenomenon called earworm, like DJ Earworm who does those. Smash-ups at the end of the year. Yeah.

We always see him around now, and then you never hear from him all year. And then he brings out that music. When he goes back into the air. Right. Okay. Where he lives the life of a worm. But that phenomenon, earworm, is associated with lower sleep quality. Huh.

I always used to do that, listen to music as you were going to sleep. Really? Yeah. It's too, like, stimulating for me. Oh, no, it was always the classics. But you'll quite happily, like, stop watching whatever you're watching on Neon or Netflix and then go to bed. Yeah, but I'm not going to, like, sing over and over and over again Ted Lasso in my head.

Although, Roy Kent. He's there. Yeah, and there was that, Jamie Tartt. Jamie Tartt. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that might get stuck in your head. But yeah, that makes sense.

And then you dream about the song. Does it matter what kind of music it is? It just said familiar or just melodies that get stuck in your head. That probably wouldn't be classical music, right? Because it's not. You can still go with classical music. You can still, in your head, you can be like. You could still, you could still in your head.

It's any, it's any melody. Yeah. What was that one? Yeah, exactly. See, you could still be doing that. And so your sleep quality is less. And some of those years, classical music can be quite uplifting, quite triumphant.

Yes. Because of its association with, you know, like the conductor swinging the arms and everybody really getting into it. You want like a nice chilled out one, don't you? Yeah.

So I don't know, what are you meant to do before bed? Because they say, they say TV's bad as well. Reading? Play with yourself. I did the sign, I told you the answer and you ignored me. Reading? Play with yourself. I did the sign. I told you the answer and you ignored me.

I wasn't going to say that. Oh, no, that's actually scientifically proven. Is it? Okay, right. Okay. And then once again in the morning when you wake up just to get your day started right. Yeah, right. When you get home because you're bored.

Well, maybe at lunchtime too if you've got an hour break. Oh, my God. 17 past six next on the show. Someone has been vaccinated. A high-profile vaccination targeting children. Oh, okay. To get vaccinated. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

Big Bird has been vaccinated. Oh, that's lovely. And Americans, Republicans in America are labelling this brainwashing of children. Ted Cruz condemned it, said Big Bird should not have been vaccinated. Are they aware that Big Bird is just a giant puppet? I don't know. So, yeah, so the final approval for 5 to 11-year-olds to receive the Pfizer vaccine was approved in America.

Right. It's still going through our testing with MedSafe. Yeah, yeah. But they have ordered the doses, which is good. I think, to be totally honest, the most shocking thing of this, how old do you think Big Bird's supposed to be? Supposed to be? Like, on the show, how old is he?

Not how old is he since he was made. Like Bart Simpson is forever 10. Yeah, right, okay. Lisa Simpson is forever 8. 32. But Big Bird's an adult, right? Big Bird is forever 32. 25.

Six and a half. What? I know. Jesus. The big ass bitch. Did they finish growing? It's like a Labrador. They? I know. Jesus. He's a big-ass bitch. Did they need, like, they finished growing? It's like a Labrador. They were all grown by two.

Far too advanced for a six-and-a-half-year-old. Also, did he need, like, a bucket of Pfizer? Like, dose-wise? He needed a lot. He needed a lot. Did the FDA approve it for? Yeah, for bird consumption? For big birds.

I don't know, because I, on Instagram, I follow a couple of people who do the falconry. The big falcon birds. That have the falcons sit on their arms. They put the cute little leather hats on them. The little leather hats and stuff. But there's bird flu going around. Oh, okay.

In Britain at the moment, there's a bit of avian bird flu. So they're like, obviously, we've got to be real careful with our hawks because our falcons, we could let them to go. They could, like, smash a pigeon because that's a lot of their work is pest control. Right. And mostly just showing off and having a cool-ass bird sitting on a leather glove on their arm the whole time.

But yeah, if they ate the wrong bird, they could get the bird flu. Huh. And then Big Bird's got that to contend with as well. Well, Big Bird said that he'd been getting vaccines since he was a little bird. The person who vaxxed him said that that was the case. He said, I have no idea. So he's been vaxxed all his life for different things.

Oh, that's pretty good. I love that. Because I didn't know he was six and a half. I thought he was one of these people that's waiting until they have a sausage sizzle in a lottery. To get a free hot chicken. To get a free hot chicken to then get a vaccine. I don't think Big Bird's waiting to get a free hot chicken to then get a vaccine. No, no, no. I don't think Big Bird's waiting

to get a free hot chicken. I am for that. Mind you, have you seen a pigeon eat a seagull or a seagull eat a pigeon? I have. That whole thing. I have.

It's very confronting. I watched our chickens. The cat killed a sparrow or something and then I saw the chickens eating it. I'm like, loose. But they are sort of like creatures of opportunity, a chicken. Yeah.

So you know how people say, oh, Carol died and her cats ate her toes. Yeah. Because no one found her for a few days. If I was out in the paddock, they wouldn't even find anything of me. The chickens and the pigs would team up and get their revenge for all the bacon and eggs I've eaten over my life. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. There's been a study, and this isn't the first time either,

there's ways to compare it to previous studies on what New Zealanders' gaming community looks like. Gaming can be anything as long as it's... Games on your phone? Yeah, yeah. Yeah? Yep, video games. On a console, on a computer, on your phone, it all counts.

Okay. And the average age of the New Zealand gamer is going up. It was 35 this year. It was 34 in 2019. And when it started in 2010, the average age of the New Zealand gamer was 32 years old. Oh. Do you know how many oldies are like?

Yep. Because I always love those, like, stories of some, you know, many oldies are like? Yep. Because I always love those stories of some you know, like Granny Gamer. Yeah. And she's like turned pro and she's beating all the youngins. 75 to 84 age. 47%

play some form of game. But that could be Sudoku on the iPad, couldn't it? Yep. That could count. Yep. And then you go 85% to 94%, 33% have played some sort of digital game. Because I reckon that's what you do, right? If you're in the rest home, when you're in your Ryman,

just get on the PlayStation 10 or whatever they're up to by then. Absolutely. Keep you absolutely dialed in. Some of the coordination, bit of thought. Yeah. Got to move around. So much time. Yeah.

So people asked how they play. 76% of people play as some form of social situation. Oh, yeah. So they play online with other people or a game that involves other people. 24% said they only ever play alone. So there's your Candy Crushers and your... Oh, no, because Candy Crushers has got a social element to it too, right? You can send...

Does it? I remember there was a change at one stage and you could send people. And the more people you were connected with, the more things you got daily. I just see people playing that on the plane all the time. Blows my mind you see some people still playing Candy Crush. I know. So many options. And gender-wise, woman just behind men.

Right. And gaming statswise, woman just behind men. Right. In gaming stats. Huh. Yeah. So did this surprise you, these stats? No, not really. Not really. Like the younger end playing a lot of games,

like 93% of 5 to 14-year-olds play games. Oh, wow. Which is higher than the same age group that participate in sport. So 76% of adult New Zealanders play some form of sport and 94% of kids five to 17 participate in some form of sport. But it's about the same as gaming. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't have games on my phone because it just leads to me like doing it all the time. Get addicted. Well yeah, there was that Kim Kardashian game you got quite hooked on. Yeah, and then I downloaded the RuPaul Drag Race one but I've deleted that because I could see what that was hitting. Didn't you just get that last week?

Yeah. Yeah, right. But I felt like triggered. I was like this is going to go down. It was ticking the same dopamine boxes. Yeah, it was. It was. Yeah. You're like, oh, how does it work? Does RuPaul's like crystal recharge after like every hour you get another crystal?

You know those games? Yeah. And it encourages you to come back every six hours and use the energy you've. Yeah, you have to create things in the workroom. Accrued. But what keeps you coming back? Different tasks and stuff. Right. So every day there'll be a new task. Yeah. Right. But you were you coming back? Different tasks and stuff. Right, so every day there'll be a new task.

Yeah. But you were just like, I can't do this. No. I could see. But that's good though. I recognised. You recognised the problem. I recognised the problem before it became a problem.

From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. $620,000 budgeted for the New Zealand police to get new caps. This is to replace the Farage. Farage? I'm all for this. You know I love a cap.

Yeah. Because Australian police look really cool in their caps, don't they, when they're out and about? I think Australian police look cooler in their big, wide-brimmed Stockman's hats. You like a big, wide-brimmed hat? Yeah, I keep some off them. Those look pretty cool. Well, it's pretty much like your hat without the dome on top.

Yeah, right. The new one they've got. I went to, I found this from the New Zealand Police website, 13,000 employees. Oh, yeah? So let's say every single one's allocated a hat. You'd get two, though, wouldn't you? In case one gets soiled.

Sometimes a perpetrator might soil your cap so you might need to put it in the wash. Right. So you think each uniform would be two hats? Surely. Well then do you think all 13,000 police staff would get a hat? No. Not if you were in the office. Just front line. Because you're not going to give

Wendy one at reception are you? What about up top? Gary who hasn't been out in a police car for like 10 years. Yeah. Does he get a hat? Probably not. Nah. He'd be old school.

So should we still say there'll be 13,000 hats then? Okay. You've done some maths, haven't you? Because half of the people want to get a hat, but everyone who does get a hat would need two. Yeah, sure. $48 a hat. $48?

That includes the embroidery. Yeah, sure. $48 a hat. $48? That includes the embroidery. Oh, yep. The thing that runs around. Quite a lot of embroidery and apparently some tartan has got to be worked in somewhere. Tartan?

That's the tartan. We don't need the tartan, do we? Is that what they call the chicken? No, no, just like a decorative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, like it might be inside or... Oh, okay.

Don't need that. No. I don't know. No. I don't know. No, I don't think it's part of the logo because it was said in a different part. It said it will include embroidery of insignia. Oh, right. And some part of tartan.

Yeah, I don't know. Do we need the tartan? Anyway, I got the top six hats that I reckon you could get for less than 48 bucks a hat. Okay. Including embroidery. Number six is Fletcher's FlexiFit hats. When you buy in bulk, how much do those come to?

I can't remember, but it's not that much. It might be like under $20 a hat. How many do you buy? Remember the last time I ordered heaps, I got like 30 at once. Yeah. Yeah. They're my favourite hat, Megan. And that's because you get a discount.

Yeah, you get a discount. Yeah. You get a bulk discount. I'm imagining when they buy $13,000, even more of a discount. Yeah, but for $48, that's not much of a discount, is it?

No, but what I'm saying is if I can get it for under $20 a hat and then $20 on the logo and that, that's coming in good. Oh, yeah. Save a bit of money.

And they do different sizes too. They've got the same colour too. It's such a commitment to buy 30 of the same colour. I don't like the other colours. Do they come in different sizes? I thought it was a one size fits all situation. No, because I get the small, medium. Oh, small, medium, medium, large.

Yeah, yeah. And then a big giant one. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six hats the New Zealand police could try if they're going for a new look, a peaky blinder. Oh, yeah. Those are Renee. Or like a driving cap.

Yeah. Yeah. Mostly because of how hot Killian Murphy looks wearing one of them. Yeah. Peaky blinders. But they could give it a go. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six hats the New Zealand police could try

if they're spending $620,000 on hats. A Deerstalker hat. That's one of those ones like Sherlock Holmes wears. Imagine all the crimes they'd solve if they had one of those on. I think the hat alone would add 50 IQ points to their detective IQ. Hot though in summer.

Yeah. Because aren't they woolly? Yeah. A little bit woolly. Next on the list, number three on the list of the top six hats the New Zealand police could try, an NBA hat from Culture Kings. Plus, if they bulk purchased them, they'd get a discount, and they'd save on postage because they could get it all delivered in one. And then just choose your favourite team.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, like, they could go for, what hat have I got on today? Timberwolves? Yeah. Does this look a little bit like a police dog? Not really. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like, they could go for, how did I go on today? Timberwolves? Yeah. Does this look a little bit like a police dog? Not really.

Enough. It looks like a banana. It looks more like a police dog. It looks like bananas in a palm tree. Don't you reckon? Bananas. It does.

I'm quite far away from you. Bananas in a palm tree? It's a howling wolf. Nah. With a star up here. It's terrible embroidery. I really can't see a howling wolf. It's a howling wolf with a little star somewhere up there.

Or they could pick whatever team. Looks like a vagina that you say. When was the last time you saw a vagina? I'm offended on behalf of all of them. Yeah. Nero, someone's going to see a vagina next time and they're like, it does look like A howling wolf

Or a banana tree Whatever Fletch saw Number two on the list Of the top six hats The New Zealand police Could have tried A fedora Because they would

Look like cool dudes Yeah Hey I'm not one of those Old I'm not your dad's Cops man I'm a cool guy

Look I've got a fedora on Yeah It's got a fedora on. Yeah. It's got a band around it. Number one better be that one where you can have two beers on either side of the straws because you've really missed out if you're not doing that one. Oh, you mean the refreshment hats? Yeah. No, they're on duty.

They can't be drinking. They can put in a Pepsi Max. No. Number one is a beret. Oh, boy. Not even the hat with the fan in it. Because it's too beret. Oh, boy. Not even the hat with the fan in it. Because it's too... That's impractical.

But I do like those ones that have a fan in it and a solar panel on the peak. Yes. So it's, you know, ever powering off the sun. They could be charging their crime devices. What crime devices? Crime solving devices? Yeah, like their torches and tasers. I just went with beret because...

Yeah. Look at these cops look badass in berets. Oh, they do. That guy looks really... Are they French? No one's going to mess with them. Yeah, that's Romania. It's a very...

Singapore, they also love a... Oh, yeah. Southeast Asia are big fans of cops in berets. It's very authoritative. Yeah, they smash you if you're naughty. Absolutely smash you. That is today's top six. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Season 10. Well, it's all thanks to Neon. Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. And the extended sound is out. Good morning, Soundkeeper Owls. Good morning.

How are you guys? Good. Well, now, let's play the secret sound, which normally is 0.33 seconds. 0.33 of a second. Good Lord. Now, this is the extended secret sound, which is.73. Does it help? Does it help?

No. Yeah. No. I tried. But it was like, do you remember the umbrella last year? That was like, that really helped a lot of people. Because. I guess if you had something in mind, it might help. Yeah. I've had no idea the whole way through.

All right, well, we welcome Angelina. Good morning, Angelina. Oh, man, it's me. It's you. You sound so rapt about it. Oh, God, it's me. It's me. You sound so rapt about it. Oh, God. It's me. It's me, Angelina.

I thought I could have been put in the queue or whatever. I did not know it was going to be me. That was crazy. Well, Angelina, we've heard the secret sound for weeks now. Does the extended sound help you? Honestly, I thought it did when I listened to it on Friday and listening to it again over the weekend, we're torn between

two options. So, I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Well, $50,000 cash is yours if you can tell us what that secret sound is.

Okay, so my guess, my original guess was that it was tying of a balloon. Tying up, tying up like a blown up balloon. Tying up a blown up balloon. Like one with helium or one that you've blown up yourself? One that you blow up yourself. With your fingers? Yeah, tying it up with your fingers. You know, when you tie up and... Yeah, that to me would be more of a...

Like, because the sound to me sounds... Can you play it? No, because you know how it's quite slappy at the end? Yeah. It could be. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite...

Oh, no, but we did have another guess, but it's like... Well, you only get one guess. Well, you only get one guess. I know. Angelina. Okay. One guess. I reckon that could be.

Oh, shit. Maybe she's right, guys. It still sounds more either wooden-y or plastic-y or mechanically or some kind of... Maybe that's the trick. Don't let them throw you off, Angelina. Lock in your guess. Don't let them throw you off. No, I'm with Angelina.

I think that's a good guess. All right. Okay. Angelina. I'm just going to lock it in. We're going with that? Yeah. All right.

Well, for $50,000 you're locking in, tying up a balloon. Angelina, that is not the secret sound. Angelina, well, you can try your other guess.

You can try your other guess. Not now! We do have a chance for you to test your guess, though. Soundkeeper Owls, you're giving people the chance to run their guess past you. Yes, basically I'm opening up a hotline today on my small little brick phone from 7am till 5pm. Now I will be answering this phone and telling people if their answer is hot or cold. Oh, okay. It's going to be a busy day.

So if they actually tell you the secret sound, like if they've guessed it, you'll say that's hot. I guess so. Yep. Yep. I will have to. If it's close, will you say that's hot? Yeah. I've got like a list.

Parameters. What? Parameters. Oh, that's okay. That's exciting. All right. How do people get hold of you? Well, all the details will be up on ZM online or ZM Secret Sound

Instagram. However, I'll say the number on here. Okay. 021 0912 7965 We should have got a catchy 021 guessy guess or something.

Oh, someone's calling me. Oh, Jesus. Oh my goodness. Rain man with the numbers. I was like going to say, can you say the number again? There's no way anybody would have got that. Just give us the number again

before you answer that. 021-912. Oh, sorry. 021-0912-7965. There you go. Jesus, phone numbers are getting long. I know. You have to, I guess. All right, well, there you go. Jesus, phone numbers are getting long. I know. You have to, I guess.

All right, well, there you go. You've got till five today to run your guess past. Soundkeeper Owls will give you another shot at the cash. $50,000, all thanks to Neon, at 8 o'clock this morning. Next on the show. Frustrated, would we be putting it lightly? Yeah. I had a Facebook marketplace experience.

Contactless. Contactless. Contactless. I don't know why you bother. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Friday. I made a purchase online. It was actually a very cool gadget. You tow it behind your ride on a lawnmower and it picks up your grass scraps.

I saw this on your Instagram stories. It's a little bit of a tweak. I think I put the connection on upside down. I hate connecting to the ride on Walmart. So when you say it needs a tweak, you just need to put it on correctly. Well, no, because there was two options. It said if you've got this much ground clearance this way,

if you've got this much ground clearance the other way. And I just kind of guessed. I may have got it wrong. So I need to just turn that up the other way. But it's a pretty cool little toy. So I was going out to pick that up. Purely coincidentally, I accidentally opened the Facebook marketplace tab. Oh, yeah.

I try not to go in there. Yeah. Yeah, neither. And there was two cast iron pans. Now, I'm a massive fan of cast iron cookware. For your barbecue. It was there when you opened it up. It was the first thing. Now, I'm a massive fan of cast iron cookware. For your barbecue. It was there when you opened it up. It was the first thing.

Oh, thanks. They know what you want, don't they? They know what I'm into. And I was like, man, there was two of them and they were like $40. I'm like, that's a pretty good price for cast iron. Stolen? I don't know. I don't know what kind of, who's stealing a cast iron?

Very heavy too. Too cheap. Can't make a quick getaway. I figured it must have been close to my house because you know, Facebook marketplace stuff's always like close. Yeah. And I was like,

oh, I messaged a guy. I'm like, hey, I'd be keen for these. Yeah. I wasn't like, are these still available? Because I've learned that that's a really annoying thing to get. So I just said, I'm keen for these. And he said, yes, sweet. And I said, whereabouts are you?

And he happened to be close to where I was going to pick up the other thing. Oh, yeah. The lawnmower towing thing. So I was like, what a fate, man. Good things happen to good people. It's a universe, eh? You put it out there. I put it out there.

And so away I went. I went and he said, yeah, 11.30. Yeah. And I said, how are we going to do this? He's like, well, I'll bring them out and put them down. Yeah. And then you come and put the money down and then take them back away. I was like, cool, like a drug deal.

Yeah. If we were in like the Mojave Desert. Yeah. Cool, man. I'm going to feel Friday. I'm going to feel like a badass. Yeah. So I was like, sweet. And he said 11.30. And I. Cool, man. I'm going to feel Friday. I'm going to feel like a badass. Yeah. So I was like, sweet.

And he said 11.30. And I was like, cool. So it was 11.30 on the way to the place. I said, I'm five minutes away. And he said, nothing. And I said, hey, I'm outside your house. And he said, nothing. And so I said, I'm going to go and get this other thing.

I came out here to pick up. And he said, nothing. And then I picked the thing up, which was 15 minutes away. And I turned around and I said, I'm leaving this place now. It's 15 minutes to your house. And he said, nothing. And then I'm driving and then I get a thumbs up. I'm like, cool.

So then I'm at his house and I said, I'm back at your house. And he said, I'm not home. And I said, you told me to come at your house and he said I'm not home and I said you told me to come at 11.30 and you didn't answer and now it's like getting closer to 12.30 and now you're letting me know you're not home

and he said I'm 10 minutes away and I said ha ha okay I'll go get something to eat and I'll come back so I go and I get something to eat and I come back and I'm 15 minutes and I message him I say hey I'm back and he says nothing

then I said what the hell's going on and he said nothing and I said this feels like a waste of my time and he said nothing and then I said well I can't wait around all day I've got dogs in the car I gotta go and he said nothing so I got home and then I said, well, I can't wait around all day. I've got dogs in the car. I've got to go.

And he said nothing. Okay. So I got home and then he said, I'm home now. And he said, sorry, man. Stop for lunch. Completely forgot. I was like, how did you forget in 10 minutes? You said you were on your way home. Surely when you're eating at some stage, you're like, oh, should I have told that guy?

Or like, look at your phone. Yeah. And he said, here's my phone number. I'm home now. I said, well, I'm on the other side of Auckland. I'm not coming back. Yeah. And he said, oh, knock $5 off the price.

I feel bad. I was like, you should feel terrible. So I didn't get the pants? No, you didn't get the pants. No, I didn't get the pants. This is, you know, this is your fault for engaging in Facebook marketplace. I know. Or any online sellers. I'm so reluctant.

This is why if I buy anything on Trade Me, it's being delivered. I'm not going to someone's house. I'm not dealing with pickups. No, neither. People are horrible. When we have a clear out, like a tidy out and like the kids have got older and so they're not onto the stuff, but it's in good condition, we just donate it. Yeah, right.

Because there's no, like, I'm not. I'm not a seller. I don't have the patience for it. I know some people do a thriving business on Marketplace and Trade Me. You can make a lot of money off of it, yeah. Get rid of your old stuff. I've just got a little headache coming in thinking about the amount of time I sat on the side of the road

in suburban South Auckland on Friday. It was a lovely neighbourhood. The people across the road were very suspicious of my activity. Yeah, you were like lingering in your... I came and then I went and then I came back and then I went and then I came back and I lingered and I walked up and down the road and I kept going back and patting the dog through the window.

Were you in your nasty car? No, I was in the nice car. Oh, okay. Because I was tying a trailer with a thing on it. That's the other thing. I had a trailer with a big, weird, suspicious box on it. Yeah. And then I'd wave to them every now and then to put them at ease.

Oh, you don't. So you definitely look dodgy then. Yep. Anyway. Yeah. I was wondering if we could all share this morning your annoying stories of, I mean, Facebook, Mark, do we need to touch the pool that is Trade Me? Oh, absolutely.

A mate of mine said Trade Me is better because you pay success fees. There's fees involved. So people are paying fees. They want it to be. Yeah. That doesn't stop people. Someone bought outdoor furniture and then they said they didn't talk to their wife, so they had to withdraw.

And then you have to go to Trade Me and get the success fee back and relist it. I didn't know that. No, you could have held them to that. He didn't talk to his wife. It's like there's been miscommunication. I didn't talk to my partner. So he's been shopping on Trade Me and he has not got permission. Were you insulted that your wife didn't like your outdoor furniture?

His wife didn't like your outdoor furniture. He was like, I bought some outdoor furniture, and she would have been like, yuck. You're not paying for that. Tell them you can't have it. We don't know who sat on that. Also, wapish under the thumb. He made a pish.

Wapish. But make up some other excuse. Don't say that. Yeah. I'm such a wimp, I can't tell my wife that we've bought that. So you want to open up the phone lines and talk about people's bad online trading experiences. I know there'll be no shortage. I know there'll be absolutely no shortage.

Yeah, I mean, let's open it up to Trade Me, your bad Trade Me moments, your bad Facebook Marketplace moments. Maybe you went around to someone's house and things escalated. Things were weird. I want to know if those pans are still for sale. You got a discount. I can't believe you didn't close it up. You would have spent at least $5 in petrol going back.

Way more. We're talking about your online purchase nightmares. It might be Facebook marketplace. It could be trade Me, it could be where else, just like a free pick up on community pages on community page oh yeah those are a nightmare

someone said speaking of free, literally a free giveaway, it took me 5 weeks to give away a lounge suite for free on Marketplace I literally had 13 people contact me and arrange a time for pickup and then just not show up. Oh my God.

13. 13. Just take it off my hands. Yeah. That's nuts. I reckon they were like, oh, I'm probably going to need a trailer for that actually. I don't even have a tow bus.

Nah. Yeah, I just don't think. I won't need them, no. I won't tell them. I don't think people think it through. So yeah, we want to know those. Oh my God, some of these texts are so frustrating to me.

I know. Ashley, what happened? I was moving out of home for the first time at 18 And I'd organised to pick up a couch for my house off Facebook Marketplace And I'd organised the time and everything, went round there to pick it up And I knocked on the door and he said that his wife had sold it just before I got there And so you were like, oh, I've on the door and he said that his wife had sold it just before I got there. And so you were like, oh, I've got the trailer. Yeah, I had the truck from work and I turned up and not there.

How did this happen? You were like, oh, by that. Again, poor husband-wife communications here. Yeah. But do you think that was an excuse? Did they get like a better offer or something? Well, I paid what they were asking for, so I was going to. Wow. Yeah, they just sold it before I got there.

This is why I don't like dealing with people online. Ashley, thanks, you're cool. This is why I don't like dealing with people, full stop. Yeah. Becky, what happened? Hi, good morning. Good morning. Morning.

My friend put her phone on a Facebook marketplace and this girl bought it, sent her through what appeared to be a transaction for the payment. So my friend then put it in this Uber that the girl had arranged and it turned out to be a fake payment. Oh my God. But then also police... This girl had sent an Uber.

But then also police could just check what Uber that was charged to, right? Well, apparently she'd given a fake name, fake address, everything. So I think they looked into it and where they picked up the Uber, like from her end, it was all totally fake. Oh, my God. Yeah. So my friend lost her iPhone and lost her her money what a scam how much did she sell it for about eight hundred dollars oh wow so she didn't get there oh no way that's why

i know so she's scarred for life obviously yeah see i'd wait till you see the money in the account yeah yeah yeah well she thought she had but yeah oh i see what you mean on there yeah i'd be like, you know what? We'll wait an hour. You don't need it. That's a red flag. Send it immediately. No, she was saying, oh, I'm going away.

This was before lockdown. She was like, I'm going out of Auckland. I need to get it now. This also, this isn't her first time running the scam either. You can tell. Amazing. Becky, thanks. You called some messages in.

I tried to buy a set of drawers off Marketplace. Asked the guy for dimensions. He asked me what dimensions were. It's quite a deep question really, eh? What are even dimensions, bro? What even are dimensions, man? It was at this point that I thought it might be a waste

of time situation. I tried to explain to him what dimensions were. He said, I don't have anything to measure your dimensions with. I gave up at this stage. A few hours later, he said, you can have it for free on one condition. Okay. I foolishly asked what the condition was, and he replied, insert sexual favors here. I would have asked what the condition was, and he replied, insert sexual favours here.

I would have asked him for his dimensions. Because then he's got nothing to measure it for. Joke's on you. Somebody else said, I've had that same scam. Sold an iPhone, waited for the payment to come into my account. They sent me through a screen cap saying it's gone in. But then I was like, yeah, okay, that's cool, but I'm going to wait for it to show up.

And then they deleted their account. They like completely ghosted there because I guess it would have been easier. I would hop into the Uber that comes. I'd hop into the Uber. With a baseball bat. When we eventually sold our outdoor furniture, we asked for a screen cap because they wanted to pick it up on the same day, a screen cap of the Uber. With a baseball bat. When we eventually sold our outdoor furniture we asked for a screen cap

because they wanted to pick it up on the same day. A screen cap of the payment. We were like oh could this be fake? But when they'd

screen capped they'd googled how do I take a screen cap? So I was like oh no they haven't fabricated the payment.

How could you see their google? They'd taken a screenshot of the whole page. Of the whole computer? Yeah. For some reason they're still on their phone. So they've got their other tabs the whole computer yeah yeah for some reason they're

still on their phone right so they've got their other tabs open i think someone that's googling how to screencap is kind of yeah yeah doesn't have a photo shot um drove all the way uh to auckland from perongia for a car we get there it's parked in a random street with two different sets of plates on it. The seller never showed up and messaged once we got home saying, sorry, I was at work. Yeah. A few red flags there. Yeah. Yeah. Big, big red

flags. God, people are the worst, aren't they? They absolutely are. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Mattel, they are responsible for Barbie, for Hot Wheels, for Fisher Price. It's a toy company. Yeah. And they have confirmed that this job description was authentic.

So this has gone viral because there's a few things in here that are questionable. So first of all, they were looking for seasonal employees. I like to pick fruit. Pick the Barbie fruit. Yeah. They would be subject to periodic unplanned visits from supervisors during work shifts. So this is work from home?

Work from home. Wow. So a supervisor would just turn up at any time during the day unannounced. Doesn't that defeat the purpose from working at home? Like you're meant to be isolating, right, in your bubble. Yeah. Or does the boss come to the door to make sure you're home?

But then what? You don't have a recording on. Just distracting you and very weird. And unannounced, like it's not like they're booking at a time to see you. Right. Also, the unplanned visits, as well as the unplanned visits, they are to work in a closed-door area

with no distractions, provide their own high-speed internet, and be free from the caretaking of others. Man, that's full on. Like, lots of people are looking after kids at home. Can't have kids. Oh, okay, that's what that read out. Okay, I was wondering, like, what that meant.

Like, lock yourself away so you can just work. Yeah. No distractions in a closed door area. Oh, it sounds like fun. And you think that's, it's gone viral because it's controversial. They've said the ad was legit

but it's been taken down because in October they got 250 employees to work that job. So 250 people have been hired to do that. Although they have said they took away the visits from the supervisor. But people are still working in a closed room and doing everything else. Well, they're saying they are, right? Yeah.

Like I just say you were. Yeah. Yeah, imagine who's going to be checking them. That's the next person that's going to be hiring a checker to check the supervisor. Sounds like one of those, because, you know, some companies are quite strict with the old work from home. Like they'll monitor how long you've been online for so they can see your work computer.

But I'd just leave it open playing a YouTube video or something, because does that count as being online, working? I don't know. Can they see what you're looking at? I think they just playing a YouTube video or something because does that count as being online, working? No, I don't know. Can they see what you're looking at? I think they just make your screen share or something. But then if you're getting your work done, why does it matter? Why does it matter?

If it gets to the end of the week and you've not got your work done, then totally they can be asking questions. But otherwise, yeah. If you can get it all done by 11, knock off for the rest of the day, sure. Yeah. They said that they needed to be in a private

workspace to protect and maintain customer confidentiality. Man, you're really killing my buzz. Selling toys. Really killing my buzz here, Barbie. But you'll probably know when your supervisor arrives because they'll pull up in a hot pink Corvette and then they'll get out in a 7 foot 4 with unrealistic body proportions.

And no genitals. No. And a very like, I don't know, I'm not into Ken, you know, I need a bit more of a rough in my man. He's too preppy for you.

Oh, far too preppy, far too clean. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. What wrecks the relationship? It's from a survey from the affairs website, A List of Encounters.

But it's not like deal breakers or anything like that. It's why you don't want to be with them anymore, essentially. What has wrecked the relationship for you? So they've asked men and women, what wrecked the relationship for you? And you've got the top 10 for men and women. Yeah. And they're vastly different.

They vary somewhat, yes. Okay. I'll do women first. So number 10, he's always been... Wait, that means the men's is going to be worse. Why?

A, the tone, and B, how you're making us go last. We'll go with woman first, that tone. No, just ladies first. Okay. Women first. Ladies before gentlemen.

Yeah. 10, he's always broke. Okay. Number nine. Ladies before gentlemen. Yeah. Ten. He's always broke. Okay. Number nine. We never share anything and watch TV alone. Eight. He's put on weight and let himself go. Number eight.

Out. Bitch. Number seven. I have started desiring other men. Ooh. Yeah, that'll wreck a relationship pretty quick, won't it? Yeah, well. Number six is I don't trust him.

I mean, trust is... You've got to have trust. You've got to have trust. You've just got to have trust. We're getting into the top five. So this is the top five relationship wreckers as told by women. He is always down at the pub with his mates. He's lazy and never helps out around the house is number four.

He's obsessed with computer and video games. Yeah. Number three. And number two, he... Oh, I almost just rocked right into that one. He cannot satisfy me is what I'll put. Wow. That's how I'll put that.

That's number two. And number one, he likes football and watching sport more than me. But that won't have... Maybe it's developed over the course of your relationship and you got into a relationship with someone who always enjoyed watching sport and stuff. But they're prioritising

sport over time with them. But also you got into a relationship with someone that doesn't satisfy you. Well maybe they did initially. Oh but now they're just lazy. And they're not trying. It was probably laziness, complacency, spice it up, you know. Okay, so men. This is a top ten relationship

There goes that tone. There was no tone. I tried to do that neutral. Hard time, strong time. I tried to just be neutral with it. Number ten. I have more fun with my mates. Okay. Nine, I'm bored and I need a fresh start. I'm bored.

That will, I mean, but that will wreck a relationship. That relates to number two for the women, I think. Yeah, right. The satisfaction, I'd say. Number eight, I'm too busy with work. Wait, that is men saying I'm too busy with work. Yeah, and that's what's wrecked their relationship. Right.

Number seven, not enough passion generally for life. Lack of passion. For the relationship. Lack of passion. Lack of passion. Oh, okay. Number six, we never have fun. We never have fun.

Number five. She's always whinging probably. She's always moping about the bloody footy, isn't she? We're getting to that. Number five. I want to sleep with other women. That'll do it. That is a big relationship wrecker.

That is about the same price as women saying I want to. I've started desiring other men. But that's how men say it. That's just different words. That's the same intent with different words. Men are like, wanna sleep different woman? Men and women are like,

I'm started desiring different men. And you think you're better than us because you use nicer words. That's all that is. That's true. Number four. Her friends are toxic. Hates the friends.

But then they had the friends when you started going out with them. Yeah, but if the friends have turned, if the tide's But then they had the friends when you started going out with them. Yeah, but if the friends have turned, if the tides turned and they're against you. Number three, she's always complaining. Because you're always at the pub and you're watching footy all the time and she's not hanging out with you.

Number two, she never instigates sex. It's because she's number two for them. It's not getting anywhere. Wow, this might sound bad, but I tell you what, so far we sound pretty... We're opening up. We're being honest. We're telling you our true feelings. So the number one relationship wrecker for men...

This is from men. This is what they've stated to be their number one relationship wrecker. I feel like I know what it's going to be like because there was one on the other list that I was expecting to be on men's list that isn't there yet. Number one is I stopped fancying her on men's list that isn't there yet. Number one is I stopped fancying her. She's put on weight.

That was the one I thought it might be. Wow. I stopped fancying her. This is definitely a British study. Yeah. Footy, down the pub. Stop fancying her. I don't fancy her anymore. Yeah. I mean, it was put slightly better on the women's list.

He's put on weight and let himself go. It was still a concern for the women. Number eight, but it's number one for men. Right. Wow. Also, they're probably no oil painting themselves. Yeah. I mean, if you're basing your whole relationship on what they look like,

I've got a spoiler alert for you. What is it? What's the spoiler alert? Everyone sags in the end. Oh, no. We're all going to sag. Gravity. Different times for sagging, though.

In different bits, maybe. You've got to find someone who's going to sag at the same rate you're sagging at. Yeah. Oh, God. So if they ever look at you and think they're starting to sag, then they say to themselves, and they're like, uh-huh, I'm also sagging. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the key to happiness. Sag synchronisation. It doesn't work for you because your wife doesn't look like she's aged at all. Yeah, mine's 10 years younger. And as for you, Fletch. Yes. Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Season 10.

It's all thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. Christy, welcome to Secret Sound. Hello. All right, so Christy, the secret sound that we've been hearing for weeks now is this. And the extended sound that was released on Friday is this. It's just over twice as long. Did that help you when you had your guests locked in already? Well, I actually kind of thought I knew it before I heard the extended sound,

but, oh, it's so hard. But then when you heard the extended sound, did that kind of cement it for you? No, no, no. It kept me going down that track a little bit, yeah. I mean, we had a few different guesses, and they're all so different that it's kind of like, yeah, that could work and that could work, so who knows? All right, well, Christy, for $50,000 cash, what do you think the secret sound is?

Is it when you open the door and it hits the doorstop? Right. Christy, have you seen the TikTok video? I have seen the TikTok video. Okay, and you saw that in there? I heard that in the very first couple seconds. Wow, right. I'm not going to lie. A lot of people have commented online the same thing. Ooh. Yep, a lot of people agree with you.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, but I'll get down to it. $50,000 You're locking in The door stop Yep Well Christy that is

Not the secret Oh Christy Oh you're a big tease I know. Now, today, Soundkeeper Owls will answer the special hotline that we've set up until 5 o'clock, and she will take your guess for the secret sound and tell you if you're hot or cold. How many calls have you had so far?

Honestly, I was trying to keep count, but I think like 50 maybe in the last hour. It's ridiculous. It just hasn't stopped ringing. No, I had to turn my little brick off just to do this. Yeah. Okay. Did you give out any mini-hots? I don't

know if I can disclose that. I'll say I've given a lot of colds. Okay. Yeah. So maybe there have been the odd. Okay, so people could be getting close. Well, yeah. All right.

I'm not saying anything. 11 o'clock is your next chance with Georgia to have a crack with ZM Secrets. And also today on ZM are the 660 Saturdays Ticket Blitz. We're going to start this soon in about half an hour's time, 25 minutes, half an hour's time. Listen out for the activated get through and we will give you a double pass to one of 660 Saturdays Stadium Tour locations. Rotorua, Dunedin, Christchurch, Wellington, Napier and Auckland in 2022. And those tickets go on sale at midday today as well if you're wanting to see 660 live.

My baby boy's nine months old today. Bastion's nine months. He's been out as long as he was in. Yeah. Is that what you say, nine months? Yeah. But there is something he's doing that is... Did you just grimace?

...coming out. Excuse me. Like a really heavy swallow sort of. Don't. Ugh. Jesus. There's something he's doing that is causing an issue at home. I don't want to talk about next.

Oh, okay. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. So I come to work, obviously, but my partner is technically a stay-at-home dad. So I would spend more time with my son, Bastion, than I would. But he has, he's nine months today, he has said his first word. Do you want to play it, Fletch? No. Oh, no, no, no, no.

What you're doing here, what you're doing here is the classic mum nonsense of romanticising an easy mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum noise. You've taken one syllable. It sounds to me like nom. Nom. Like nom, noms. No, that's definitely a mum. You want some nom, noms?

Nom, nom, nom. I put it on. Nom. The grandma was like, does this count? And 100% everyone was like, totally counts. Mums were like, yeah, it counts. It counts. We're mums.

We're mums. Now, we've got an extended clip. This is like the secret sound. This is the secret sound. Every clip has to have an extended sound. No, God. What? No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. That's incomprehensible garbage. Dad's everywhere. No, there's definitely a mum mum. Mum. Yeah, see? Nom.

Dad's everywhere are also too scared to tell tired mothers that they're definitely not saying mum when the kids first make the mum mum. He gets frustrated and he's like, mum mum. And I'm like, what? What do you need? No, he's frustrated at you. He's calling me. But yeah, it's obviously annoyed Andrew a little bit

because I go dad, dad, dad. And he says, mum, mum, mum. Mum, mum, mum, mum. Easier noise to make than dad, dad, dad. They've really got to try for their dads. Mum comes easy. And to be honest, that wasn't mum. That was just a series of noises.

Are we going for amount of time spent together or like favourite time spent together? Like maybe I'm just more fun and they're... Are you the fun parent? I'm the fun parent. You've got the food though. Not anymore. No, not anymore. He's got teeth. Absolutely not.

But I would like to know mum's a pretty like pretty boring one really It's stock standard Lots of people were telling me What their kids first words were Were there any good ones? And they're not always mum or dad

What celebrity was it? Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Said that their son Was it crocodile? Crocodile Everyone's like Three syllable crocodile Crocodile A three syllable word No And like like. Three syllable crocodile. Crocodile.

A three syllable word. No. And like the D's in there. That's very hard. Dial. Yeah. And how many times are you saying crocodile to him for him to recognize it and say it back?

What about your girls' first words? Indy's. I think it was like the mom and the dad, but like the first word she said was bacon. That was so weird. You're like oh my god that's my girl. They grow up so quick. She knows what she wants. Yes we can have bacon. Yes.

What about August or because she was the second you'd stop caring? Hippopotamus. It was early she's very advanced. We watched a lot of Nat Geo. I thought it was going to be like Leave me alone You're ruining my life You can't remember though

Leave me alone Can't control me No it was mum or dad It was definitely Just like your standard Your mum or your dad's So it was mum Yeah

Oh it was probably mum Yeah Well I'd love to know If you had an interesting first word Whether it was yours Or whether it was your kids Yeah whether you remember Or your parents have told you what your first word was.

And it wasn't mum or dad. Yeah, or your kid's first word. Maybe it was something a bit different. Or maybe, yeah, it was dad and you got to revel in that. 0800 Diles at M. Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. What was your first word or your kid's first word?

Bastiano, my son has said mum. It's his first word. It's official. He has. He's made a series of noises. That says mum. Yeah, but in context. Yeah. God, he's like you already won't stop going on.

Mum. Says you, bitch. Would love to know your first word or your kid's first word. Was it something other than mum or dad? Yeah. Liz, was this your first word or your kid's? It was my child's first word, Tessa. Okay.

And what was her first word? It was button. Button. Button. Did that have any meaning? Yeah, she swallowed a button off the back of her dress beside like an old, like, 20-cent piece. Jesus. And we couldn't find it, and we sort of just got lost, and it was really weird.

And then I changed her nappy before her bath that night, and the purple button was sitting in her nappy. It's gone all the way through. And we thought she should have died because it was really large. Like, I've kept the button and we must have talked about it so much. And she was doing the jibber-jabber

and then she just started saying button all the time. She talked about it so much. Please tell me her nickname is now button. It's not. It's still Tessa, but Tess put out the time. She talked about it so much. Please tell me her nickname is now Button. It's not. It's still Tessa, but Tessa put out the button. That's still going to be a great 21st story, isn't it? How old is she now?

She is 11 and she's so embarrassed. I was going to say, just at that age, I bet she's stoked mum's calling a radio station and said her name like three or four times. It's a great story, Liz. Thanks for sharing. Nikki, what was the first word?

So our son's first word was deer. Deer. Deer. Yeah, so his dad and I are hunters, and we have a taxidermy deer head on the wall. Wow. So it was used in the right context, like pointing at the deer? A hundred percent.

Like I used to, the deer head's like above our couch, so I used to feed him on the couch and he used to just stare up at it, like it was directly above him. My head could be up on that wall next. That's what I was thinking. Watch yourself. Well, Vaughn's head might up on that wall next. That's probably what I was thinking. Watch yourself. Yeah. Well, Vaughn's head might be on the wall next.

And were you upset it wasn't mum? No. Like, he was, I'm sorry, Megan, he was totally doing the garbled, like, mum, mum, mum, mum, dad, dad, dad, dad. But he had no idea who he was talking about or what he was saying. But when I pointed at him and I said, George, what's that? Pointing at the deer head. And he said, deer.

Ah. I'll go home and point at me and say, what's this? And say, what's this? Oh, you probably don't want to know what he said. Don't want to do that. Don't open that camera. Don't open that. You don't want to hear that.

Thanks, you're cool. Nikki, some messages in. I'm thinking of a couple of other one-syllable words. Rocking your face. My daughter's first word was bugger. Oh, that's hilarious. Even used in the correct context. We're two mums, and ironically, our child's first word was dad, dad, dad.

That's a slap in the face. Yeah. I said mum is the first word, but my second word was Batman, apparently. Amazing. Yeah, while pointing at something to do with Batman. My daughter dropped her toy. The F word came out. Claire is about.

Wow. That's amazing. That's what you say when you drop something. Yep. Dad and I had a chat about, the child's father and I had a chat about words we can use in front of our children. Yep. My first word was bubble.

That was our pet cat when I was a baby. Aww. Oh, we had bubble. We had bubble and squeak. Really? Yeah. Bubble. Yeah, okay.

That's a good. That's so British. Bubble and squeak. It's like a. Bangers and mash. Yeah, it's like a leftover, isn't it? Like leftover. Leftover. Potato. Potatoes and ham. Friedangers and mash. Yeah, it's like a leftover, isn't it? Like leftover potatoes and ham. Fried up and stuff, yeah.

My daughter's first word was Rambo, which was the name of our cat. Lots of cats. My third daughter said mum, then dad, then light bulb. Okay. Light bulb. That's two syllables. Yeah. It's advanced.

Yeah, very advanced. Shoes. That's two syllables. Yeah. It's advanced. You're very advanced. Shoes. My first word was shoes. My second word was hat. Yeah. Is that your first word? Shoes. Do you remember yours?

No, I don't remember mine. I just messaged mum, but she hasn't messaged back on WhatsApp. She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember. My sister's first word was tuatata. Oh, wow. No, it wasn't. That's four syllables.

Wow. Come on. That's another crocodile situation. Coming from the mum that got mum out of that. Mamba. Mamba. Mamba. It's mum.

It was more of an ad for 90s clothing brand Mumbo, the farting dog. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Guys, sitting is bad for us. Yeah. You know, how much sitting you do directly reflects your health. People are always trying to design the best chair, but the best chair is standing up.

Oh, but standing sucks. You can't do that forever. It's all leggies. So the first ever time this was linked was in the 1950s, and how they found out about this was they saw that double-decker bus drivers were twice as likely to have heart attacks as their bus conductor colleagues. Oh, yeah. So they were like, how is this happening?

They work the same hours. They work in the same environment. They eat at the same, they're eating the same food. Probably breathing in lots of fumes as well. They're living exactly the same lifestyle, except the drivers are 90% more likely to have a heart attack. A heart attack. Well, they found out it was because the drivers sit down for 90% of their shifts, but conductors on average during a shift climb 600 stairs.

Because they'd be up and down, up and down. Yeah, because it was a double-decker bus. So they're not only walking up and down checking the tickets, but when they get to the end, they go up the back stairs and they come back along and they come back down. Then they sit down. Do it again. And then it's time to do it all again. So they said even though they weren't working up a sweat or puffing, they were just keeping moving and keeping standing up, led to them being far less likely to have heart attacks.

Ah. Wow. Hmm. So they thought at the time that they said it seems excessive sitting may slow the metabolism, which affects the ability to regulate the blood sugar and the blood pressure and metabolize the fat and also lead to weaker muscles and bones.

Well, this is not great news if you're a double-decker bus driver. No, if you do lots of sitting. Or a truck driver. Yeah. Get up. Yeah. But for a truck driver, you can't stop every hour to do a couple of minutes of walking on the spot, can you?

It's going to be problematic. But yeah, they found out that that was exactly the first time that they linked it. Between sitting and being stationary versus moving around. And all that time we've really done nothing to change it. Nope. You've done nothing about it. Like standing up driving. Standing up driving? Like cycling?

Yeah. I don't know. But that's also sitting, but it's athletic sitting, isn't it? Yeah. Love a good athletic sit. Because you're still taking the box of having a sit down. Yeah. But there's something, you know, you're doing a little bit of extra work around it.

So today's fact of the day is the first ever link between illness and sitting for an extended period of time was done thanks to studying double-decker bus drivers and the conductors. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. been published in archives of sexual behaviour. And they have looked at what men and women are upset at when it comes to online dating, the deceptions by men and women. Okay. So this is how someone has deceived you before you meet them. So it's a deception to get the date.

It's a catfish, really. It's a minor catfish. A minor catfish. A slight infringement on the catfish scale. Like catfishing is just absolute total deception whereas these are minor. What do you think it would be for men and women? Height? Not me. I was going to say height would be

one just because I've watched so many bachelors. Right. Not for me because I married a short person. You did the first time Yeah Yes But I'd say height would be one For women

Well researchers found that women Ranked deception about occupation As more upsetting than men did Really? While men ranked deception about attractiveness As more upsetting than women did So women said he lied about his job. Yeah.

And man says she lied about her face. Yeah. Whether that was filters or makeup. You don't do yourselves any favours. At least lie when you're answering these questions. At least lie. I think that's probably what we're doing. We're like, we'll come off better if we say something like occupation.

But how do you lie about your job? What you do for a job? I think maybe your pay grade. Embellishing it? Yeah, you might lie because they might be impressed

if you're a pilot as opposed to, I don't know, like a manual labourer. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but they might be like, well, that's lots of money,

that's status. Because the various studies indicate that men, more so than women, search for youth and physical attractiveness in their potential mates. So hence, if somebody lies about their looks, they find that quite deceptive. And that's an evolutionary theory that argues that female attractiveness, you know, serves as a cue for reproductive capacity, etc.

So research suggests that women, more so than men, prefer partners of higher social status. Again, that's a primal thing, isn't it? Resources and the ability to provide. Resources. We're just monkeys, man. We're just monkeys with FBOS cards. Yeah, basically.

Monkeys with jobs. Yeah, so when you call us gold diggers, it's not our fault. It's the monkey's fault. Yeah. It's bred into me, man. I mean, I'm willing to, you know, deflect all blame for anything horrendous I do. Straight on to a monkey. So they've said, like, when people use dating apps, for example,

men are more likely to display their resources like flash cars, athleticism and strength while women are more likely to alter their physical appearances through clothing or use of makeup. So we're well aware of what the other person's looking for. 100%. Okay. Cool. Again though, monkeys.

It's all monkeys. I'm going to blame everything. Every time I get in trouble from now on, I'm going to blame my primal functioning. Yep. Vaughan, you didn't scrub the toilet. You've left a mark in there. I'll be like, well, monkeys.

What about if the police pull you over for going 50 k's over the speed limit? Monkeys. Because you didn't know about... Pooning away from predators. Yeah. I had to get away... From the dinosaur. To get to the safe area of home.

Yeah. Dinosaurs will never run at the same time as monkeys. I know. Police will see right through that flawed argument. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. There is a lot of awful things that people would rather do than physical exercise. So one in four people would rather text an ex

or quit Netflix to never exercise again. Like ever watching it ever. Text an ex though. Is this like one of those things like, I text them, but I want the benefits of working out without working out? Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I don't know what they were saying.

You're reading into it too much now. I don't know the ins and outs. I don't know if they were promised a six pack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like minus 10 kgs. Do something horrendous and then you get a six pack. I think just to maybe maintain or like... Just never have to work out.

Never have to. Right. 34% of people said they'd rather hand wash all their dishes for the rest of their life. Than ever work out again. I would, yeah. Yeah. I'd do that if I didn't, you know, if like you could pick the perfect weight or, you know, you just stayed as you were. I wouldn't.

What? Hand wash all the dishes. What if it was like Weet-Bix and they've been on the bench for a couple of days? And then the cake did. And that is a workout actually. That'll get you. You've just got to, just a bit of soaking there will help. Soak with the hot water.

A bit of hot soak, yeah. 33% said they'd stay with their in-laws for a long weekend. That's not... That's wild to be like. I consider staying with my in-laws such a horrendous act that I would rather do it for one weekend than work out. Yeah. And then, yeah, a quarter of people said they'd cancel Netflix for a year.

To never work out. For that year or forever? I think it's forever. Because people don they'd cancel Netflix for a year. To never work out. For that year or forever? I think it's forever. Because people don't seem to be making much sacrifice. These are all low-end sacrifices. Do you remember that study ages ago? It was like, how much would you have to be paid to give up a cell phone? And people were like, $5 million.

That was their... I think it was even for just a year. I was like, $5 million. That was their, I think it was even for just a year. I was like, $5 million? I'd absolutely give up a cell phone for $5 million a year. I'd give up a cell phone for like $100,000.

I don't want to do anything on it. We've got an extra IDO promo. I'm just going to find someone to offer up the $100,000. There's not a lot

I wouldn't do for $100,000. I wouldn't murder someone. I wouldn't do like anything. What's your't murder someone. I wouldn't do anything. What's your murder rate, though? Would you walk away from helping someone? What do you mean? Like they hurt themselves. Would I walk away from helping someone who had hurt themselves for 100K?

Yeah. That's where your mind went. What if they're going to die? No, I wouldn't take the 100K. See, you said you'd almost do anything, but I'm already finding a lot of things you won't do. ZM's Fleshworn and Megan.