ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th October 2020

Episode Date: October 8, 2020

National's Whoopsie Men with deep voices Leigh Hart Top 6: Political Homewares What are you still scared to do? Vaughan's Covid Tee Indie's Username Six60 Megans AnniversarySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee on the go. I never checked, but are we recording? We're good? Yeah, we're good. Okay, good. Carry on. Good to know. I wanted to raise, just before we get into the podcast, Megan's biscuit. Oh yeah, it's cute. You wanted to raise my biscuit.

Yay! It's a melting moment. Mr. Toyboy packaged this up for you, didn't he? He put it in a little bag. Yeah. And he's drawn a little smiley face on it. Because he was concerned on our travels I'd be hungry. Peckish.

So he brought me a little melting moment from the cafe. Because these are my favourite and I'm never allowed to eat anything from the cafe. Good. I'm melting moment. I can't eat a profit. Eating into your profits. It's like a drug dealer that's like, oh look, I'll just have a little bit. You think that when you have a cafe you'll be like, nom nom all the time, but not when he's like working oh, look, I'll just have a little bit. You think that when you have a cafe, you'll be like, nom, nom, all the time,

but not when he's, like, working there. I would. Does he take you off? I would. That's probably also why I don't own a cafe. But, yeah, I'm not sharing at all. Oh, we're not sharing, are we? No.

Is that how we're playing? Yeah. Well, I won't be sharing my Copenhagen cone either. Oh, yuck. Why would I want to lick your cone? I hadn't thought of that. You have a look. I thought you were yucking Copenhagen cones,

but you're just a sharing one. I'll get my own cone. Yeah, right. Nah, true. That's right up your basic bitch alley, though, isn't it? Ice cream. Yeah. I'll get gelato.

You know me. I'll be at the gelato store. I don't think anyone Can call a Copenhagen cone A basic bitch ice cream It is and everybody does it It's in a waffle cone It's in a rolled waffle cone The waffle cone's right there

Yeah so it is Yum you're right There's actually one of those Places at the Mount too That smash up the ice cream With all the bits Oh I love those Like a cold stone creamery

Like a cold rock Yep yep Those ones Those ones Yum Okay well we've got a couple of days We've got a lot of beach time today So trust me Megan

When you go on a road trip with us, you're never going hungry. I love how you say it's a road trip. We're literally road tripping to the airport. And then we're flying. What do you call flying? An air trip. When you're on an air trip, you certainly have to eat a lot. Yeah.

It takes it out of you. Yeah, it is. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletchford and Megan. The podcast. Play. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Play.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Three past six. Happy Level 1. Oh, yay. Auckland. Yay. I was going to say the entire country, but the rest of the country has been Level 1. We've caught up. Don't stuff it up.

Do you know the difference coming to work this morning in level one than coming to work in level two? No. Pushed over scooters, rubbish, drunk people.

Everyone got drunk last night. Are you serious? I would say a lot of people when it hit midnight were into clubs. So they went preloading. I'd say so, yeah. On a Wednesday night?

Mm-hmm. On a Wednesday? Well, no, Wednesday night's quite a big night anyway. Is it? Yeah, that Thursday morning coming to work is always the morning when you encounter the most drunk people. Student night? I think so, yeah. I think Wednesday is, yeah.

But yeah, I think people missing to clubs last night. So they were back into clubs. Yeah. And to clubs were upsetting. And you could notice this morning. Coming up on the show, joining us very soon, in fact, before seven,

Lee Hart, late night Big Breakfast is back. Yeah. He's going to come in and tell us what we can expect because I'm pretty sure they had a lot of this done before initial COVID lockdown

back in April. Of course, this is the, it's like a good morning show that they film in a furniture store. Yeah. It's a breakfast show on a night. Yeah. If you've seen previous episodes, very funny.

He'll be joining us in studio soon. It features one of my favourite ever moments of New Zealand television. What's that? Which is where Nadia Lim came on for the cooking segment and Jason Hoyt comes in and she's cooking eggs. That's right. And Jason Hoyt goes, Cook the man some effing eggs.

Once the Warriors quote Nadia Luke's face is just like, What am I doing here? She's like, I signed up for this. It's one of my favorite moments. I could watch it every day and still laugh. So good. He's in studio with us soon. The top six is coming up.

It's election season. Yeah, and apparently Clark has a Jacinda pillow. She's out and about so much. Yeah, this is the Prime Minister's fiancée. He's been gifted a pillow with her face on it.

It looks like... It's hot. It looks pretty cute, like some Nan's made today. So I've got the other top six pieces of politician homeware. Okay, that every home needs.

Yeah. Okay. Briscoes, hope you're listening. Some ideas in this. Some absolute money makers coming up for you. Next on the show it is the election

that we want to talk about because something happened yesterday on the election trail that was straight out of a satirical TV show. It was pretty wild time in Ponsonby. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well done, New Zealand, being democratic.

In the first two days of early voting, so Saturday and Sunday, more votes than the whole early votes of 2011. Wow. And it's already tracking to be like a lot of, like, I don't know, I can't. I don't know how to explain this graph. Look at that orange. It's real big.

You can start by calling it a graph, not a graph. Yeah, I know. That really grated me too. It's a graph. English maths professor from the 60s. It's a graph. It's a graph. Look at the graph.

But, yeah, a lot of people getting out to early vote already 165,000 in the first two days alone. That's cool. I want to early vote. I want to vote. But at the same time, I love the whole two days That's cool. I want an early vote I want a vote but at the same time I love the whole tradition. Day of wake up. What do you get out of doing it on the day? Have some brekkie. I don't know A cue. Yeah exactly

You get a cue. It's the only thing you get It feels more like It just feels more like voting. It's a special day Yeah yeah it feels like it's the day It's like doing a family Christmas before Christmas. Right well You it's the day. It's like doing a family Christmas before Christmas. Right. Well, you know, like you're getting the Christmas, but there's a day for it. But I can understand why people are early voting.

I'm all for early voting. I think voters... There was no... There was like three people when I did it at lunchtime. Voting Zed has a map of all the locations. Super easy. There's heaps as well this year. They've made it super easy.

I've got a whole shop dedicated to it. Yeah. What, like in a mall? In like, yeah, well, just outside a mall. They're taking over like a lot of like

empty spaces and stuff. It's good. But then, so it had all this like orange stuff in the window saying like, vote here. It's in North West

in Shopping Mall. Oh, right. Shopping Mall, yeah. In West Auckland. And there was all like orange, it's like vote here. It's very eye-catching.

And there was an orange car parked out front and vote here. I was like, that's very eye-catching. And there was an orange car parked out front and Indy said, my daughter said to me, is the orange car part of the orange decorations? I was like, I don't know.

But if I had an orange car, I wouldn't park it in front of an orange building. So there's very lots of orange. We saw the orange man drive. You literally could have popped in and voted. But I don't want to.

I want to vote on the day. We've talked about this. I got my quick vote card yesterday. Okay. So I'm ready to... Charlotte got hers like four days before me. I feel like I'm being pigeonholed. It's because the names thing.

S is above V. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how they print them out. Watch out if your last name starts with Z. You're like three months away from getting yours then. So last night,

this was a story that kind of broke yesterday afternoon. After the press debate in Christchurch, Jacinda went to Dunedin yesterday, met a whole lot of Dunedin uni students. Judith came back to Auckland and decided that it will walk around Ponsonby. Now it was on this walk around Ponsonby

that she was with, what's the, she's your possible national MP. Mello Yellow. Yellow. Mello. Sarah Mello. Emma Mello. Emma Mello. Claire Mello.

One of three names with Mello on the end. Yeah. All of the candidates for Auckland Centre are white. Right. So they're all like Sarah or Abby or Jess. Abby, Jess and Sarah. Emma Mallow. So she's walking around with Emma Mallow and the news cameras are there.

Obviously, they're all just absolutely fiending for any sort of political story to lead the news with. Well, it seemed too good to be true as when Judith was walking along a predetermined path at almost identical gaps between, people would approach and say, hello, love what you're doing, love your leadership qualities. Love the new national park. Yeah, just while the cameras were there.

Every like 50 metres. Journalists got a little fishy on it and thought this seems suspiciously like these people have been planted here for this predetermined walking path. Benedict Collins from TVNZ hits one of them up about if he just happened to be in the area or if he was a plant. You came up to Judith like you're just a member of the public?

Yeah, no, I've been involved in the party for a long time. Right. Yeah, it's pretty common. Is it? To put supporters along the walk. No, I was in pod. Right. Yeah, it's pretty common. Is it? To put supporters along the walk. No, no, I was in pod speed anyway. Yeah, right. Any chance I can grab your name?

It just seems like you guys were stacking the walk with... No, no, no, there's a whole lot of general members of the puppet. There wasn't. Any chance I could grab your name? The poor guy got ambushed. he was like do i lie on national television yeah do i say pure coincidence or yeah no but then it's like no i'm a yeah i've been affiliated with the party for a long time yeah but but just i was just it was just and then they showed a couple of them sitting together at like a cafe so they were all they had previously

been 150 meters apart at individual locations. Both wishing Jude as well. It was like out of this hysterical TV show. Yeah, it was. Like Veep or The Thick of It. It was brilliant. The best part was

when the news started and they were like, we're going to cross to Benedict Collins soon. He was the reporter. He's just in the little screen in the corner just smacking his lips.

Been like, boy, do I have something juicy for you all to sink you to. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We said bad news for people with deep voices. I mean, I don't know if they'll see it as bad news, but anyone in a relationship with them will. So this is just for men.

Men with deep voices are more likely to be unfaithful in a relationship. This study was done with men and women, but they found no correlation between the pitch of a woman's voice. But they actually found correlation with men with deep voices and cheating. So they were all young heterosexual adults in good health who are non-smokers. They took a psychological test, and it asked them questions on their attitudes to infidelity

and relationships and how they felt about cheating on a partner. Right. They found the correlation between someone with a deep is it a baritone voice? Ugh. Like all the James Bond characters, means that they have a high tendency to cheat. And

it is directly related to how much testosterone they have. Do you know how the more testosterone lowers your voice? Yeah, but that, I think, is bullshit too, isn't it? Because it's a testosterone imbalance that leads to male pattern baldness and then the ability to grow a beard and body hair, but I don't have a deep voice. Are you feeling hard done by? But do you mean, do you have high testosterone levels

if you lose your hair? I don't know. I think so. Because it means that you... Or a testosterone imbalance. Yeah, I don't know. So high testosterone levels also attract women. So it's from both sides of the story.

So they'll have a deep voice, so women are attracted to deep voices evolutionary-wise because they make good partners because they have high testosterone. So that's just one of the signs of high testosterone. So it's more likely if your partner's got high testosterone that that's what's going to cause them to cheat. Yeah, cause them to cheat. Okay.

Signs of high testosterone in males. This is what I've got. I just googled what are the signs of it. Okay. Acne. Aggressive or risk-taking behaviours. Okay. Bad boy.

Excessive body hair. A high sex drive. So there's increased appetite. Is there a deep voice on there? No, not really. Unexplained weight gain. Swelling of the legs and feet. Yeah, so I don't know.

So if you've got high tensile stress, that's what it's going to be. Guys with deep voices right now in trouble. Feeling targeted. We've done nothing. Yeah, they've done nothing wrong. I've done nothing, love. I've done nothing. Do I listen to that bullshit, love?

This is why we listen to The Rock. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I was social last night, and I actually did pretty well on my night out. I went to a quiz night. Oh, we haven't heard the end of it. The Vixen? Yeah, oh, I'm coming for it.

The Beast? No, I prefer the Vixen. The Vixen and the Beast. Start with the Vixen. I was going to say, what would my chase name be? But I don't want the answer to that. Yeah, none of them are good, are they, really? The underdog.

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. Because everyone backs the underdog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But apparently Megan blitzed the quiz. So, you know, you go along and, like, we have people in our group that are so smart at, like, all the... They're very competitive, aren't they, your quiz people? Yeah.

Don't they like keep track of all the other teams? It's my old neighbours. And every week they write down every answer, how many they got for each like, what do you call it? Section. Like section, how many they got right, what the answers were. They keep a booklet. What, so they can revise?

Yeah. And they also keep track of who won that week. It's quite intense. Yeah, that is. Sounds to me like they're not there for the drinking. No. There's drinking as well. But I usually go along and you contribute a couple and you're like

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's people who know all the sports questions and all the history questions and the boring ones. Yeah. Well, last night, I really came into my own. So there was a question right at the start. And it was like Dynamite, the song debuted at number four on the top 40 New Zealand charts.

And it had a video. And everyone drew a blank. Like no one knew. Who sings Dynamite? Is that what the question was? Yeah. Who is this band? And I was like, oh, guys, that's BTS.

It's a Korean boy band. Right. Really hot right now. Oh, I thought you were talking to Teo Cruz. I was thinking of an old school Dynamite, but I didn't see the video. Yeah, right, yeah. I am familiar with BTS, and that is the start and the end of my K-pop knowledge. Yeah, same.

So that was my first one. Right. They were pretty impressed with me. Okay. That's why you're there, though, the music. Yeah, and the... Pop was my first one. Right. They were pretty impressed with me. Okay. That's why you're there though, the music. Yeah, and the like. Pop culture. The pop culture.

But never pick music, TV or movies as your like jackpot round. We did. We had music as our jackpot. It's because it's always like you think you know, but then they go into like music can include like Beethoven stuff. Yeah. Like really hard questions. And then there was a picture of Britney and Christina

and they were like, which is older? And I was like, this is deceiving. This is deceiving. Because Britney was successful on her own first. Yeah. But Christina is technically older. I'd say Christina was older, yeah. Yeah, that was correct.

No one knew that one either. But Jenny in a Bottle, when did Jenny in a Bottle come out? I thought it was the same time. Was it? Like 99 time. Was that? Like 99? It was 99. Wasn't 99 like just the pinnacle for pop music? Yeah, it was.

A big pop year. And then another. This one wasn't a music question, so I was pretty proud. Okay, hit me. Go. I'll see if I can get it. What is the longest bridge in New Zealand? Oh, it's in Canterbury.

So everyone was like, well, the Harbour Bridge is pretty long. I was like, Aucklanders. It's longer than that because you've got to try to hold, you play the game hold your breath. See? Yes. And you can't do it. You die. You can hold your breath going 80 over the Harbour Bridge. This bridge.

Can you? Jesus. Can you? You probably shouldn't be doing that driving. But, like, this bridge, you're going 100km and State Highway 1 was the clue. Require. You cannot hold your breath. There's a trout one.

I know you see a trout at the end of it. And no one knew. I was like, please trust me. I've driven this bridge so many times. I promise you. Holy shit. How long do you think the Rakaia Bridge is? Have a guess.

177 Ks. No, that's a long way. How did you know the answer yet? 177 metres. No, that's not long enough. Oh, I don't know. Did you look at the reflection of the glass? 1.7.

No, I'm really good with numbers. I remember it was one in seven. Right, 1,756 metres. That's insane. I don't know if you can really count yourself as good with numbers if your first guess was 177 kilometres. One in seven. So Auckland Harbour Bridge is 1,020 metres.

Oh, so it's not too far shy. It's not the longest. But again, probably wouldn't be holding your breath over either of them. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM, this is the latest. So this has been published in the Rolling Stone. It's exposing record labels for illegally compensating radio stations in order to play certain songs.

This is in America. In order to play certain songs by specific artists more often. I mean, don't get me wrong. If a record company like Sony slipped me $100 to play one of their songs, absolutely I'd do it. I am corruptible and I'm open to money offers. Right. You are too, but you don't press the buttons.

No, I don't press the buttons. I'll go half so. Then that would make me the ultimate person to play on your song because I'd never suspect it was me because I don't know how. Claim ignorance. But I can learn. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah.

So the illegal scheme was apparently called Payola. So they've uncovered emails from back and forth from these people. Right. Do you want to hear the list of artists? Okay. Specifically? Shawn Mendes, Dua Lipa, Halsey, Ellie Goulding, 5 Seconds of Summer, Ed Sheeran, and Panic at the Disco.

So they would pay the radio stations to play their songs, make sure they were being played. Yeah, so one particular text has been uncovered. I don't know how they got all this, but Panic at the Disco had been getting less radio plays in one week. And the text comes from someone

at a record label and says 11, they're down in panic. I just did a 2K deal with you. I need panic back up. So they're literally paying thousands of dollars to get these plays for these artists. But what's sad about that is that, like,

Ed Sheeran or Panic at the Disco, they'd have no idea that's happening. No. They'd have no, it'd just be the record company or someone, one person at the record company. Dodgy dealings. Yeah. Explain to me why it's bad.

Because you're influencing, you're paying to influence the charts and the success. Right, so it's all linked to the charts. So the radio stations have played a bit more and it might go up a couple of places in the charts. Then what, more people see it in the charts and so they buy it. Yeah. Or more people hear it and then want to like it. But that plan can only work so much because if the song's rubbish

and it makes people not listen to the radio station or, yeah, it's been a detriment to the radio station. Then they're not going to buy it or download it. So the song's still

going to be good to start with, doesn't it? All of those artists are very successful, so pretty good songs. That is the latest it's thanks to Pump. Get that fresh feeling

with Pump's sparkling berry in lime with no sugar. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and That is the latest. It's thanks to Pump. Get that fresh feeling with Pump. Sparkling berry and lime with no sugar. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. It's the return of Late Night Big Breakfast hitting TVNZ Jerks Sunday the 11th of October. It's going to be on 8.30pm, but then on TVNZ On Demand you can watch it at your own leisure.

And we're joined in studio by the man that sits on the couch and commands the whole thing. Lee Hart, hello. Get it. How are you? I think it gets repeated on TV too as well later in the week, but who knows? Oh, okay.

Yeah. Okay, so Duke and then a two. Yeah. Okay, that's a good mix. In case on Duke there's some complaints, they can dodge the TV too. That's right. Pull it.

They can pull it at the last minute. Stick an episode of Fair Go or something. Yeah, yeah. That's right, pull it. They could pull it in the last minute. Stick an episode of Fair Go or something. So you were filming this before COVID really got its teeth in, weren't you? Yeah, so before the first COVID, we filmed three quarters of the show, interviews and stuff, and we're about to finish it, and then we went into lockdown, so it didn't make any sense. So I thought, we have to delay this and film again just to link it all up have introductions ends so we waited to the end of this last lockdown filmed a whole lot of other stuff weaved it together and it still

doesn't make sense so uh it's good though but it gave us a chance to an election special because they gave us an on-air date which is on Sunday, which happens to be a week before the election. So we thought we might as well make it election special and get the big leaders in there. And did you manage to get them in? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. I saw Judith Collins on the –

it was lucky you didn't go with your pre-COVID national leader. I think we've been through three since then. Well, that sort of comes through on the show in a way because we have a bit of a comedy of errors, who actually is the national leader at some point in the show because we hadn't researched that before we went into the filming the other day but we got there in the end. But we,

as I say, Jacinda Ardern came on, Judith Collins, so ooh, it's going to be interesting. You didn't have any of the other sort of smaller party leaders kicking up a stink that they weren't invited? They get a bit like that at election time. Once, once they see it, they probably won't mind. They'll probably get

emails going, thanks guys for not having us on the show. Who knows? So what else can we expect from late night big break? It's a, you've got infomercials.

I mean, the show's got to pay for itself, I suppose. I mean, the camera crew and et cetera, they sell furniture

while we're making the show as well because it's filmed at Target Furniture Store Yeah, I'm not we do the odd infomercial to pay the bills There's we have a woman's panel, which is basically Inclusive well, yeah, well, you've got three guys basically talking about woman's issues Woman's issues. Yeah, yeah. And we've already been getting a bit of feedback saying, guys, loving the women's panel. This is coming through from the early edits.

Would it not be a good idea to get a woman on the women's panel? But we're sort of thinking they're too close to the problem. We love it when men try to solve that problem for us. Well, we might be able to start up a men's panel with three women on it because I think that could be interesting. You're right. Remove yourself from the problem and get a wider view on the whole situation. Who knows?

But I'm really looking forward to the initial feedback on that one. Let's see how it goes. So you actually film in a furniture store. It's the Target. It's on Dominion Road in Auckland. I never see, I've drove past every now and then, I never see anybody in there apart from when you guys are filming. Well, I'll tell you what, they keep it open when we're filming.

So we've got shoppers walking in and checking out couches, often even the couches that we're sitting on during interviews. Someone will come in there and go, does this come in suede? And it's like, sorry, mate, we're just filming it. The beauty of it is we can move from, you know, this the the studio we call it you call it furniture store um we can move from this part of the studio to do home furnishings over here and it looks like a completely different set yeah so it looks like we've got a massive budget um and they're great and if a cameraman needs to get a high shot to shoot down on something there's always a futon or or a bar stool you can grab it's the most

functional place we could ever ever film and yeah it really is so you jason hoyt uh jeremy wells returns yes jeremy is really he's been allowed yes but i mean he's pretty busy obviously you know there's radio of course i don't know how he does it and seven sharp commitment so he's kind of pulled back a little bit. So we've factored him in there, but we're not relying on him to be there all the time. He didn't adjust his money, though, but I noticed that. But he's there, so we've got a thing called Jezzy's Corner

or Jerry's Corner where he'll talk about animals and this sort of stuff or stuff that's for sale. Mike Minogue, of course, he's on the woman's panel. Oh, great. Oh, brilliant, yeah. Which may probably morph into some sort of other panel, I'd say, after all. What else do we have? Yeah, we talk about typical breakfast show stuff.

Yeah. Real estate chat, financial chat. Yeah. Cakes, sponges, you name it. And aside from the political leaders, what other guests Have you got joining you? Well I could probably Give you a huge list Of guests

That have cancelled In fact we actually Dedicate a whole part Of the show To cancellations Right No we've got Who else have we got

Coming on there? Kimberley Crossman She's in the show Pretty regularly She does infomercials Etc for us So we've got Jay Josh Thompson Oh yeah He's sort of Kimberly Crossman, she's in the show pretty regularly. She does infomercials, et cetera, for us. So we've got Josh Thompson.

Oh, yeah. He's sort of working his way in. He's like a floor manager that you'll often see on the show and selling furniture. He was top salesman, I think, last week. Was he? Get to the gab. Yeah, plus who else would you say? Big names, big names.

Big names. Sam Neill. Stay tuned. Sam Neill. Stay tuned. Sam Neill. Neil Finn. Anybody with Neil. All the Neills. All the big Neills.

You can catch it on Jerk on Sunday. It is late night breakfast, Lee. Thanks for coming in. No, thank you. Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the illegal ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

There's news. People love a cute Clark story, don't they? Of how the first man on the moon, the first man of New Zealand. Yeah, I don't know. The first de facto partner. First fiancé. The first affianced of New Zealand. Yeah, I don't know. The first de facto partner. First fiancé. The first affianced of New Zealand.

Handles life with Jacinda. It's a modern love story that we all can't get enough of. Well, somebody's gifted him a pillow with Jacinda's face on it so that when she's away,

because she's all on the campaign trail, busy as they come, that he's still got a little cuddle pillow. Do you think Peter had one of those when Helen Clark was Prime Minister? Remember Peter? Peter definitely does.

He always caught the bus. Remember we saw him on the bus? Sandringham 274? Yeah. Dominion Road 247. What was it? 277. 277 was it?

It was 27 something. Yeah. Yeah. He was happy. He always looked content. Me. Peter. What's Peter doing? I don't know. I'll have to catch up with Peter. Yeah. He was happy. He always looked content. Me. Peter. What's Peter doing?

I don't know. I'll have to catch up with Peter. Okay. Sure. So I've got the day's top six pieces of politician homeware for this election. And pay attention, Briscoes. Yes. People could want these.

Yeah, definitely. In their home. Number six on the list of the top six pieces of political homeware for this election, the Judith Collins nutcracker. She'd crack some nuts, eh? Yeah, Christmas is around the corner. Why have a stereotypical soldiery-looking thing when you could have Judith's mug? Yeah.

With the lever on the back, put the nut in the mouth, crack. And the raised eyebrow on her face. Nutcracker, yeah. And it could even come with a little Simon Bridges and a little Todd Muller standing either side being like, ooh! You could call it a nut crusher. The nut crusher.

Actually, that would work better. That would work better. Yeah, that'd be really great. Get into those macadamias. Number five on the list of the top six pieces of political homework for this election are the Winston Peters Ashtray and Whiskey Decanter set. If you're going to have

a cig inside, you might as well do it in Winnie's style. Have his face in a whiskey decanter as well. Do you reckon he'd be allowed a ciggy inside? Probably, eh?

He wouldn't be on the patio, would he? I reckon in his own house he'd probably smoke durries and stuff. Yeah, totally. He's definitely been a durries inside guy

at some stage. The only thing I'd want to tell him, no. He's got that old, like, asbestos ceiling that had the glitter in it. My parents still have it at their house. Yeah. That spray-on texture. Yeah. Except he smokes so many durries, it's gone, like, yellowy brown.

We've all been to a golf club where they've still got that ceiling and they used to be able to smoke inside. Number four on the list of the top six pieces of political homework for this election, the David Seymour ventriloquist dummy. Who wouldn't want? And the best part is it just looks exactly the same. Number three on the list. You're going to get messages in from ACT supporters now calling you the mouthpiece of the left

David Seymour will message you on your Instagram and tag you in Nah, well I'll just tag him in a video of himself and be like, well prove it Number three on the list, speaking of Number three on the list of the top six pieces of political homework

for this election, the Chloe Swarbrick weed tin. Okay. It gets legalised. She's done a lot of hard work. Everybody should have a little celebratory tin. Tin, okay. With her face on it. She should even market them.

Okay. I just did a wink, but you won't need to do a wink if it's legalised, will you? No. Won't need to be wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It's out in the open. Number two on the list of the top six pieces of political homework for this election. The Advance Party lead lining to stop the 5G and satellites and vaccines from getting into your house bunker.

Great idea. It's just got their political party logo on it. And I don't know, like stay inside. Oh no, someone that supports advance is never leaving their house again. What a shame. And number one on the list of the top six pieces of political homework for this election, the Jerry Brownlee beanbag. Who hasn't looked at Jerry Brownlee and been like,

I could imagine relaxing into that. The problem with sitting back into a Jerry Brownlee is it's, I can imagine relaxing into that. The problem with sitting back into a Jerry Brownlee is it's very hard to get out. Oh my god. Yep. Mouthpiece of the left. I mentioned at least one left wing politician in that

list of six. Granted, hers wasn't a complimentary manner. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. So an article, this is actually written by executive intern Anya's boyfriend, Mr Bun Buns, upstairs at the Driven desk. Does he want to be credited by his real name? Have they printed my review yet?

Don't know. What do you review? Reviewed your... The Land Rover. Yeah, right. He said he really liked it. Did he? He said it was a very good review, actually.

Oh, did he? No, I haven't told you because I wasn't going to make your head break. No, I sent it through and I hadn't heard. Oh, yes, positive reviews, my friend. Really? Like, really good reviews? So the review of my review is a good review? Maybe I could review their review of my review.

I think possibly their expectations were pretty low so that's what I like right it's a really nice car like I've never

driven a brand new car it's so shiny it was real nice when I turned on the wipers it actually worked I can unlock it

with the key yeah jeez aren't we we're working with Jeremy Clarkson. We never knew. We never knew. But there's a story that he's written about Mercedes, and they have followed Audi in saying goodbye to the manual transmission.

Really? They're getting rid of automatics. Getting rid of manuals is only going to be automatic. Apparently this is just a thing that's happening, is that, yeah, manuals are becoming few and far between now, which I'm all good with because I don't, I mean, I learned to drive in a manual. I loved, I've driven a manual up until like a year or so ago.

I love driving a manual, but in Auckland it's just, it sucks. It's because you're a regional. Because you do hill starts all the time. You're a regional bogan in the big city. I like driving a manual. I love checking on an iLab flat peak hat. You put your phone number on the... It's hard to read because iLab's always upside down,

but then I go... When I'm going around, what would it have been just to give way? But I've decided to make it a real show. Okay, right. I feel like you've got more control of the car when it's a manual. Because you can slow down with the gears and, you know. A lot of clutch work.

Around the city, automatics are just great. And unless you get a flash-ass car, when you put your foot down, it's like. Yeah. This is what I wanted to know. Because I know people that have learnt to drive in automatics and don't even know how to drive a manual. And, like, would just be absolutely petrified. Even being grown adults.

I love seeing the panic in their eyes. I know. Remember I had to teach my husband how to drive a manual when we got together? I was like, we have to drive my car. You had to teach him how to drive. He had his full licence, but he'd never driven a manual. Yeah. And that's what I wanted to know,

like those people that will be stoked with this news because they are, as grown adults, absolutely petrified of manual driving. But also people that, like we mentioned before, are scared of parallel parking. And these are all things you have to do to get your test. But then when you're an adult, you're still scared and you won't

do them. Like I know someone that will just drive around until they can find a park that's either easy to drive into or knows kind of first. So many people do that. Or people that won't, I know someone that won't overtake logging trucks because of Final Destination. They won't overtake them. No. I never get, no. I never sit behind

one because of Final Destination. You'll want to pass it. Yeah. Hell yes. Or stay well behind. Yeah, give it lots of room. Maybe just pull over and have a break. Yeah.

Yeah. Rather than fall in. How are they staying in there? But that's what I wanted to ask this morning on 0800DARLS.M9696 to text in. What are you still scared to do driving-wise? Like, is there something you just won't do when you're driving? Like, maybe hill starts? Parallel parking? How are you going to avoid a hill start?

Maybe you're someone that doesn't even... Never park on a hill. Yeah, maybe you're someone that doesn't even like to overtake. Or you won't do drive-throughs because they stress you out. Or you won't do car park buildings because they stress you out. They are very tight sometimes. Some of them are quite skinny, aren't they? Yeah.

That's the problem when you've got a wide, if you have a wide car or something. Very stressful, car park buildings. Yeah. Do you think there'd be still people that, as grown adults, are just like, there's those little things they won't do? Yeah. Mountie at the social media desk has one. What are you scared to do in a car, Mountie?

Drive it. Just turn the car on. You actually hate driving, don't you? I hate driving. It stresses me out. Like, I remember you came,

did you come to work? It was at Monday. You were like, guys, I drove in the city at the weekend. Yeah, I think it had been

like a year. Was it stressful? Did you cope okay? That would be another thing is people coming to like a big city like Auckland or Christchurch and Wellington, there's like one lane, you know, one way streets or multi-lane. One way streets.

I remember. Yeah. Auckland doesn't have too many one way streets. Christchurch. Christchurch. And then after the earthquake, it was like they're moving stairs in Hogwarts and Harry Potter. Like one day there'd be a road there, the next day it'd be like, no, this isn't a road anymore.

Yeah. Alright, 0800 TILES.M, give us a text 9696. What are you still scared to do when driving? I'd say Vienna, who joins us on the phone. This would be one of the most common text messages we've received into the studio.

Good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good. Now, what are you scared to do? I hate turning right on busy streets. So, if there's oncoming traffic, there's a median, like, little park for you to turn right? More like a T intersection.

Oh, OK. She has to turn right across the lane. So, what, do you just turn left and hope for a roundabout later on? Yeah, I'll just turn left and then maybe do a u-ey or I'd rather do that. You'd rather do a u-ey than do a right turn? Yeah, because then she's only tackling one lane at a time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, does that add with the Grim Reaper and the thing, that add, you know,

where it's all foggy and they spin the wheel, does that freak you out? Yeah. Yeah. It'll stop me from going places because I don't like turning right. See, now I feel bad because I'll pull in behind someone who's obviously like you're a little bit nervous and there'll be a big enough gap and you don't go. And I'm like, arms up, like, just come on. Come on.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. But you reckon that we're getting overwhelmed with messages. This would be the most popular text we received in. Somebody else said, I'll do whatever I can to avoid turning right across a main road. Too much traffic, too much pressure.

I'll never find the right gap. I can't judge how far away the car is and how much time I'm going to have to get across there. Is a lot of it the pressure from the car behind you, Vienna? I think so, yeah. Definitely makes me more nervous. Okay, well, we're not going to do that anymore. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Definitely makes me more nervous. Okay, well, we're not going to do that anymore. Yeah, I know, because I'm guilty for that as well, definitely.

Well, yeah, if you look back and see me throwing up my arms, just imagine, I'm like, it's an encouragement. Yay! Thanks, you call Vienna. Shannon, what are you two scared to do still, driving? I won't reverse down my driveway, so I just park my car on the road. Oh, really? I think because I grew up, my parents had a long driveway.

I was really good at reversing down the long driveway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a few of mum's roses all the time, but that was her fault for putting roses on the driveway. A couple of rose scratches on cars. Yeah. I don't know how they got my fault. Thanks for your call, Shannon. Amy, Amy.

Hi. What are you scared to do? Pass an ambulance. What, if it's got... Like a parked one? No, like, if they're going slow and I want to pass them, I won't pass them. Why?

No matter how slow they're going. I don't know. I have this thing that if I pass them and then crash, they won't stop for me because they'll be like, let's just get to parking. What? You think paramedics are like, huh, that'll teach you? Maybe.

No. They might be going slow because they've got to, like... Somebody on board, they might be doing a transfer. Or they might laugh and have a chuckle momentarily and think it's ironic and funny, but they're still going to help you. That's what I'm scared of. What if they don't?

Brilliant, Amy. Thank you. Rachel, what are you still scared to do driving? I won't drive over the Harbour Bridge. What? Because of the recent ding? No, no. Since I've been driving, I just won't do it.

I live in West Auckland, and if I need to go to the shore, I will drive around. I'll go through town. I just won't do it. Even live in West Auckland and if I need to go to the shore, I will drive around. I'll go through town. I just won't do it. Even if you were in the city, you'd still take the ring road? Yep, and I've done it before. Is it final destination when that bridge cracks? No, it's just, I don't know why.

Maybe the narrow lanes and the wind and I don't know. I just don't trust it. I know it's fine. I like being on the outside lanes of the Harbour Bridge. They feel a bit more open. I love driving on the outside lanes of the Harbour Bridge. They feel a bit more open. Oh, no, I love driving on the inside. It makes you feel alive. And you're right next to the water, and what if you go over?

That's what somebody else said. They won't drive on the outer lanes of bridges or, like, roads up hills because they feel like they'll go off the cliff. Because I'll drive over lower bridges, like nice, long, lower bridges. The Talbot Bridge is fine, but I won't go over the Harbour Bridge. Really? Yeah.

And so when all this stuff was happening the last few weeks and it was, you know, closed, you were like, huh. She was like, get out, because I'm taking my route now. Yeah, totally. Rachel, thanks. You call some text messages.

My mother is the complete opposite of the people who don't drive manual. She can't drive an automatic. She was in the States. What? They gave her an automatic. She couldn't work out how to do it. They had to teach her how to do it.

It's stop and go. Yeah, because you've got to leave your left foot low. Like some people use two feet, hey? Yeah. And that's bad. My nana couldn't drive an automatic. She tried once, didn't like it at all, freaked her out. The strangest thing is trying to get your keys out

because you haven't got it in park. You're like, it's eating my keys! God, oh, you try to start it, but it's in neutral. Nothing, nothing! It's broken, stupid car. Even though it's your car and you've done that five times previously, all the time happens. All right.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Joined in studio by New Zealand's most quarantined citizen, Ursula Carson. Hello. Good morning, team. Yes. We're just talking 11 weeks.

11 weeks and a swab every three days. You can't leave an earbud out or I just jump on it. My nose wants it and gets it. You know those where you pour a teapot up your nose? Yeah. Just to wean yourself off. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, honestly, I've been doing the whole saline thing

just, you know, because I cannot. But now I like it when they swab because people go, does it hurt? It doesn't, not really. It depends on who you have. But when they come near me, I go, hurt me. I think if you creep them out or if they go, we're only going to do this for 10 counts,

when they get to nine, grab their wrist, go, do it. Go 15. That's like 22 swabs, though. Like, if you're saying on average two a week and you're there 11. All right, mate, we all pass math at some point. That was also 11 weeks over how many? 16? No, 11 over 11.

I literally just came out this week, this past weekend was my freedom. Friday I got out. And I left in July, mid-July. Wow. So my Netflix special came out the next morning I got on a plane and I've been in lockdown ever since. Because you were on The Masked Singer in Australia and then someone

brought COVID-19 into that production so then there was quarantine before you could even come home to be quarantined again. Yes and during that time because Melbourne was in stage four lockdown so there was curfews, you couldn't go out and every second day we would work so it was literally just from my Airbnb to the

studio so I got no sunshine in that time. It was pretty grim there for a while. And I just said to people, I can't post anything online because it won't be very friendly. And that's maybe where you tapped into the source of your comedy tour. All the rage. All the rage. all about people's anger because I realise, you know, when you get to know yourself, because you do after 11 weeks, like I

finished porn, I did all of that You clopped it Yeah, I read all of the books I was ever going to read, you know I read the Bible It does not have a happy ending, or just when you think this is really bad, he comes back so it's not all bad I read the Bible. Yeah. It does not have a happy ending. Or just when you think this is really bad, he comes back.

So it's not all bad. So I did a lot. And then I realized at the core of myself, I'm actually really angry. And I think most people are really angry. And also, it's not great to be locked in with yourself for 11 weeks when you've just heard from your doctor that you're perimenopausal. So then you have a lot of time to reflect. So, yeah, I wrote a show about that. Wow.

Yeah. Not just about the menopause, just about rage in general. Right. Yeah. So this show is all from your lockdown time. No, I started writing it beforehand because I live in Auckland so I have to deal with all people trying to merge into the lane and not understanding how personal space work and stuff like that.

So, no, I mean, if you work it like that, I've basically been perimenopausal since I was three years old. I've always had that rage. So you're going around the country. I see her in Auckland playing at the Kiriti Kanoa Theatre. Now, she was angry, wasn't she? She had that rage. So you're going around the country. I see her in Auckland playing at the Kiri Tikano Theatre. Now, that's angry. She was angry, wasn't she? She had her moments.

I thought she was a well-known diva. No, she's a diva. No, I know, but I thought she also embraced the diva lifestyle. You don't say diva anymore either. Why's that? Just because she's a strong wainer. Right, okay. Yeah, I'm not even getting involved.

See how I just kept quiet here? I'm not going to say anything. And you're playing in the Michael Fowler CD. He was a diva? Yeah, I'm not even getting involved. See how I just kept quiet there? I'm not going to say anything. And you're playing in the Michael Fowler Centre. He was a diva. Yeah, I've heard that. I've heard he brought out a lot of diva. Actually, I have no idea who that is. So Christchurch Town Hall on the 10th of December.

Yeah. And then the 14th of December in Auckland at the Kiriti Kanawa Theatre. And Wednesday the 16th of December at the Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington. Yeah. So before people get their rides on, like we're working on extra dates. But as you can understand, it's taken a year to get these shows up and running. You know, because COVID keeps coming back. So at this point, we're only having those three.

And then we'll see how everyone does with their personal space and keeping their snot to themselves. And then, You know, I'll be adding extra shows, but for now, that's it. So when people go, I thought, national tour? Is that where it ends? There's more to the South Island than Christchurch. Well, not to me.

Not to me. That's a real Invercargill thing to say, isn't it? There's more to this country. It doesn't end at Dunedin. You're like, okay, Invercargill, you just shush. We'll be down for blood for the season. They love to have a go.

They love it. They had the Rolling Stones once, didn't they? It was at the Rolling Stones that called it the arsehole of the world. I don't think that's fair. I've been to other places that are fully the arsehole. What's Ranganui doing in all of this? They've got no way. She talked about the giant pencil.

They've got a lot going on. Wanganui. They're in the running for the most beautiful city in New Zealand. Again, they're the defending champions. They're up against Hamilton. The judges have never been there. That's why. They've gone, nah, it's alright. You need to

Google the giant pencil. It's beautiful. What is so beautiful? I mean, it's a pencil. It's weird. You'd love it. You'd get it up your nose. If there's a little cotton bud up the top, I'm climbing it. ZM's Fletch

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Level one, baby. Yes. The old country. We're all reunited at the same level again. It's like you were getting really good at spelling everywhere apart from Auckland, but Auckland put in some hard yards with some after-school tutorial, and now we can spell too.

And they've caught up. And we're back on the same level. Now, I know you've got a very important thing for Level 1. Because we've been here before. Before we get to that, can I just mention, and you may have seen this article that came out, I think, late last night or this morning, Ashley Bloomfield, the lovely Ashley Bloomfield,

head of the doctors. Our constant. Head of the doctors. Head of the doctors of New Zealand. The doctor boss. The doctor boss. Big doctor. Big daddy boss. The doctor boss. Big doctor.

Big daddy doctor. He sat down with Sir John Kirwan to talk about mental health because he does a podcast. And he said during the pandemic there were times he was struggling to sleep. I can feel that. There would have been people without the weight on their shoulders that he had. It was just a lot to take, wasn't it? He said he had dreams about COVID-19 and moments of self-doubt

and that he just had to back himself. Which is weird to think because he was like, yeah, like you say, like our constant, like he was always like so reassuring and so to the point. But who was his constant? His family. I guess, yeah.

But yeah, if that's something of interest, that's Sir John Kirwan podcast. But as we are now all in level one, Vaughan, what's your important message? Well, I've got to go. I'll go and come now. I'll come back and I'll be... You're leaving us.

There'll be a visual... Oh, right. Okay. Aspect. Right. Okay. I'll be back. Talk amongst yourselves.

Have you met Megan? I have, yes. Hi. I'll actually, just while you're out of the room, say it's our anniversary with Megan today. You added me to spice up the relationship. How many years? 12 years.

After 8 o'clock, I believe Vaughan has a special moment for you. Right. To celebrate the fact that we've been with you now for 12 years. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay, this is your special. Oh, my God. I have a mobile QR code so you can check in on my vicinity.

Vaughn Corp Limited. So all you had to get, all you needed to get a QR code was a New Zealand business number. Oh my God, I'm going to do it. Check in. I'm going to scan it on the app. So now in a COVID app, I can wear this and you can check me in. So it's a legit QR. Oh my God.

What does it say? It says here, Vaughn Corp Limited, 7.43 a.m. You checked in. So that means that, like, now if people scan me. Right. Are you wearing this on our way to Tauranga today? Yeah. Now, here's an issue.

Okay. I had this idea, but that was where it ended. So I palmed it off now to somebody else to get it put on a T-shirt. I got the COVID QR code all sorted through my business. And all the person in the office had to do was screen print it onto a T-shirt for you. Okay. I'll just show you this. Excel.

Oh, that's why you're wearing it over your T-shirt. It's very baggy. Yeah. But then they probably wanted a big enough T-shirt for the QR code. Weak, Sal. Weak. I'll roll the sleeves up into a cute knot in the back. Yeah, yeah.

So your important message is still use the tracer app. Yes, yes. Still use the tracer app. So that if this horrible virus does pop its head up again in New Zealand, we're already on top of it. We can contact trace. Yeah, we're already halfway down the path of the contact tracing. Everybody that comes in your vicinity has to scan into you.

They have to scan in. Brilliant. So, like, don't talk to your A. Just scan in. Oh, yeah, well, you don't talk to the door that it's usually stuck on, so just scan and move on. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Now, there's move on. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Now there's a game. It's an app. It's pretty cool.

It's called Fletch. I reckon you'd love this. But you know I don't play games because I get addicted to them. Yeah, so it's called Among Us. The basic premise of it is you jump into a lobby and when there's 10 people the game can start. You're on a spacecraft. Oh, okay. And a whole lot of tasks need to be done.

Like the electrical station, you need to line up the wires and stuff like that. Can I outsource that and get someone in? No, you all work together to get your tasks done. However, there's somebody on the spaceship. Somebody among us. Among us, randomly assigned at the start to go around and sabotage the spaceship

or kill the people trying to fix the tasks. Okay, I would like this. Now, so the idea is you're running around doing your tasks. You find a dead body. You hit the button that's like report incident, and it's like dead body discovered. Then you go into a room where you have to convince people that you weren't the person that killed that character.

And it's all just like, I saw them do it. I saw them do it. Where were you? Where were you? I was in electrics. No, you like, I saw them do it. I saw them do it. Where were you? Where were you? I was in electrics. No, you weren't. You were in security. I saw you.

You killed that. And then you vote. Yeah. And then whoever receives the most votes gets ejected into space. They're out of the game. And do they die? They're out of the game. They're done.

They can watch the rest of the game unfold. When they're ejected, you find out whether or not they were actually the person. And if they weren't, the game continues. Right. And you have to keep going. So the game could be over when the first person's ejected if they were the killer. Yes. Okay, right.

So this happened to me in one game. I was running around and I was like, well, someone's by themselves. And I went up and I was like, kill. And I turned to leave the room and three people were at the door. And they were like, ha ha, the door. And they were like, ha ha, played yourself and I was like,

I was out. So this was on my phone. So Indie was like, can I play a game on your phone? And I said, I've only got this one game on my phone at the moment. And she started playing it

and she loves it. Right. She loves like, she's like, these people are lying. They're saying it's me. It's not me. I'm like,

yeah, but that's the idea of the game. So she's really into it. So she's got it on her Chromebook now. Right. So this is effectively teaching her great lying skills. Deception. Deception.

If it is, if she is. Otherwise, you have to work with the other people to, like, solve the problems. This might be good for her because she's very innocent, isn't she? Yeah, yeah. There is that worry, like, August will suffer no fools. No. Yeah. But Indy is, like, believes the best in people and maybe a little naive.

So it is good it's teaching her the art of deception and, like, flushing out lies and stuff. So last night she's like, oh, do you want to play Among Us with me? And I was like, yeah, I'll play. And it was at that stage that I discovered this. Thanks, Lisa. Indy, what's your username on the game amongst us? Trump2020. Mine is Poobum.

Trump2020. And Poobum? And Poobum. Pretty much the same thing. So I log on and she's playing and it's Trump2020 and I was like what's happening here? Because she knows who Donald Trump is every time he's on Trump 2020. I was like, what's happening here?

Because she knows who Donald Trump is every time he's on the news. They're like, here we go. They know. They're on par. They know what the story is. And I was like, what's going on here? Explain this to me. She's like, okay.

So one day I was playing and there was a person called Trump 2020 and they convinced everybody else that they weren't the killer through like three or four rounds except for me. Like I knew that it was them, but nobody believed me, but they believed Trump 2020 and all these lies that they were telling. This is sounding very familiar. So she's like, so I decided I would change my name to Trump 2020 to see if I could convince people when I was the one that was doing the killing in this game. If I was that, I could convince them I wasn't.

And she's like, and it works. When you're the bad guy and you're called Trump 2020, it's easy to convince people that you're not. And I was like, okay, sweet Indy, time to get off that ass. I was like, and that's enough of that get off that and I was like and that's enough of that for one day but I am proud that you've worked that out

yeah Flesh, Vaughn and Megan the podcast ZM 660 Saturdays are back and Macho and Chris from 660 join us in studio

hello what the hell do you want we just wanted to hang out we missed you guys that's fine that's fine it That's fine. It's just a grand entrance.

There's a camera here. It feels like there must be some sort of announcement coming our way. No, nothing. Yeah, no, we're going on tour. 660 Saturdays is back. We're doing it. Live music. Yeah, absolutely.

We're going to get all around the country, go see everyone, go to some places we've never been. We're going to Waitangi, actually, Go see everyone Go to some places we've never been We go to Waitangi actually Kicking the whole thing off On 16th of January in Waitangi Which I'm really excited Beautiful spot I've never been

So nice It is amazing It said Waitangi Sports Grounds On my piece of paper here I thought it said the Waitangi Grounds I'm like that's cool Yeah no it's not that though

Seaside location That's a beautiful spot Where else are we playing? Hastings Yeah New Plymouth Bowl of Brooklyn Good on Fletch He'll go on about that It's a beautiful spot. Where else are we playing? Hastings? Yeah. New Plymouth Bowl of Brooklyn. Good. Fletch will go on about that. It's a great venue. It really is a good venue. Did people swim in the bowl?

No. I think they kicked it out. We covered it last year. Oh, okay. Scram a few more people in there. Was this, is there something built that slides over it or did you have something built? Um, I don't know. We had something built that slides over or did you have something built? You were like, what's cooler? We had something built. Wow, yeah. Custom.

Build something. Cover this. Hagley Park. Cover this. Sky Stadium in Wellington and the Claude Lins Oval. Yeah. Auckland missing from the list there. I don't know.

Maybe you can come in another time. That's why we left it off. We wanted to make sure we'd come see you guys again because otherwise we see you once for a tour announcement and then it's all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good. This is your trip feeding us.

Yeah, exactly. And different people joining you at different parts as well. Like I see Broods will be with you for the Christchurch Hagley Park show. That I love then. Yeah, I'm really excited to have Broods with us. I love those guys. I don't think we've ever played with them. Never.

So that's going to be really fun. They're not on a festival somewhere, but never on the same bill. Yeah, and they're such good people, you know, so it'll be fun just hanging out with them and seeing them play. And we've got that kind of up-and-coming artist, Dobbin. I was just going to say, David DeBean? Yeah, David DeBean. You know, we saw this young fella, David Dabeen,

and he's got an interesting sound, interesting look, especially for a young fella. And we thought, you know what, why not? Give him a hand up. No, I'm such a huge fan of Dave Dobbins. It was quite a treat to see him on our list. Are you thinking you could work in and do a remix of Loyal or something? Maybe.

I think it'd be pretty cool to have him come out or we'd do some kind of song together. That'd be fun. I don't know. There's still a lot of... Look, there's still heaps of work to do. I'm thinking about their Slice of Heaven. Okay.

Oh, yeah. You guys join him for Slice of Heaven. So a deep cut. You're the new Herbs. I like it. You can be the Herbs. I like it. Dave Dobbin and the Herbs.

Dave Dobbin and 660. Yeah, I like it. That's a really cool idea. We should redo that. Okay. Thanks, guys. Dave Dobbin and the 6 Herbs. And Spices. Yeah. Yes. Love it. We should redo that. Okay. Thanks, guys. Dave Dolbin and the six herbs and spices. Yeah.

Love it. This is all just a brainstorm. Yeah. There's no wrong input on a brainstorm. Just put everything out. I mean, the six herbs thing was pretty bad, but other than that. That's what happens when you follow a path for too long on a brainstorm. Yeah.

What was it like this year? Because you guys would probably obviously be getting around the world a fair bit. You know, New Zealand, you do summer shows and stuff, but you would have been, did you have any plans that were just kind of wiped straight off the board? Yeah, we had a lot of plans that were all screwed over by COVID-19. I'd be like, that's just the common story for everyone in whatever industry. And it just is what it is, you you know like regardless that this industry we're in

you kind of have to call audibles and adjust as we go so nothing changed in that regard um it just kind of sucked just being stuck at home for a while yeah it's the least travel we've done in 10 11 years as we were sitting catching up the other day we're like oh we would have been on tour and remember you know reminiscing all those times we're overseas and caught in strange situations yeah um but i mean at the same time there's opportunities to come out of this thing Remember, you know, reminiscing all those times we were overseas and caught in strange situations. But, I mean, at the same time, there's opportunities that have come out of this thing. I mean, I love the fact that New Zealand music has been put on a pedestal

and, you know, like, a lot of... And the arms of a lot of festival organisers have been twisted to only have New Zealand acts on there, which is really cool, something we've been kind of campaigning for a while. And we're proud to do that too. We're going on the road with all New Zealand acts, a variety of genres genres um of experience of ethnicities you know just trying to capture new zealand music as it is and shine a light on it and and and a production level that's

you know unseen in new zealand particularly unrivaled you know it could well be this is the biggest tour in the world at the time. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Well, at least the biggest tour in the world that's not resulting in thousands of people getting an extremely contagious pandemic virus. Touch wood.

Give it a knock. Well, it starts in 2021 in January. Saturdays, the 660 Saturdays. You can catch all the dates at our website, ZM Online. Your website. Sure. 660.com.

Google.com. Google.com. Ask Jeeves. Ask Jeeves, yeah. Absolutely. Alta Vista. Yeah, Dogpile,

all of your classic Dogpile. All of your classic early 2000 search engines that gave way to the giant beast that is Yahoo. Guys, thanks for coming in.

Thanks for having us. Thank you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It was 12 years ago. 12 years ago today. 12 years ago today. 8th of October. Always remember.

Vaughan always remembers. Fletch has no idea. I've got no idea. You know I'm bad with dates. You were like, 2009. No, it wasn't. It's the 8th of October for you and it's the 5th of April for you. It's our anniversary.

We are, Vaughn and I are New Zealand's longest running radio couple that are still together. What about with me? Are we still the longest? You would be up there. But today marks 12 years ago since you joined us. I remember we went out for that Japanese lunch and you didn't know how to use chopsticks. But I've learnt.

You stabbed it. You stabbed everything she wanted to eat. That was a slippery courgette. Like, that was unfair. I was set up to fail. We were like, what have we done? They can be deceptive. What have we done?

For your 12 years, what did you say? It's silk. Yeah, silk is the present you're supposed to get me. I can't believe it's been 12 years. That is absolutely nuts. That's like half my life. You've had two husbands in that time. Oh.

Half your life. Yeah, I'm like 25. Either you're lying or you're really bad at maths. Yeah. Yeah, 12 years ago. So you've written us something, which is one of your little written pieces. You do do this very, very well. 12 years ago. So you've written us something, which is one of your little written pieces. You do do this very, very well.

Don't condescend me by saying your little written pieces. I'm not going to stand for that today, you bitch. Also, Vaughan's written this. I have not, sir. I think that will become very apparent very quickly. Right, okay. Well, Megan has got a heartfelt one of her cute little pieces. She's emailed that to herself and it will be in her inbox. My cute little written pieces.

One of your cute little written pieces. Pass off. You've got one of your very articulate, professionally written pieces. You know when you write. Remember I was like, she's so fat, you weren't here because I don't give compliments to people's faces. That's not how I do things. But I do, I always speak very highly of Megan's

spoken word. Can you back that up, Anya? Yep, can confirm. Oh, that's nice. And I think I said, yeah, that's right. I concurred, didn't I? I'm really good at compliments also. We don't give each other compliments ever in front of each other. No way. That would be weird.

You'd be like, are you dying? Is everything okay? Alright, well, let's not detract away from Megan's nice moment. Megan's lovely. Do I have like

cute music or something? No. Did we find any? Oh, really? Oh, okay. What have you got? Hold on, Fletch is looking for something.

What are you looking for? Oh, apparently you've got an aux cord this music right here. Oh, yeah, sure. Apparently this is some nice music that we can play in the background. Yeah. Should I start?

Dear Fletch and Bourne, Firstly, thanks. You're welcome. Thanks every day. You're welcome every day. Thank you and thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Twelve day You're welcome every day Thank you and thank you You're welcome You're welcome

12 years of thank yous 12 years of you're welcomes You took a young and experienced Gothic broadcaster We did And turned her into something better Yes Not the best

You're right Room for improvement But I hope with another 12 years Oh God help me now, of working with my broadcasting idols, I can be as good as you are now. But by then, wow, what level will you guys be on? Who knows? But you know, you're right, Megan.

We're never happy with where we are. We're always looking to advance, aren't we, Fletch? Always looking to be better. So it will be hard for you to catch because we're that far ahead. Exactly. Secondly, individual thanks must be given. Fletch,

I recall listening to you on the radio when I was at school, which is amazing, because we're the same age. No, we're not! Oh, which is 29. I just started young. Yeah. You were always well beyond your years with your skill and talent. Thank you.

Your push button's really great. Thank you. You don't always get the time right, but what's time anyway, man? Exactly. It's a social construct of which you're beyond. Yeah. Yeah, man. Also, I don't know if I ever said it, but thank you, thank you, thank you for cutting your well-deserved summer break short to come to my wedding in 2018.

I couldn't have got married without you there. I know. And now I look back and I think, God, imagine being in Europe for that extra week. I'd put your attendance on level with my dad being there. Thank you. It means a lot. Your patience, understanding and empathy are what I like best about you. Thank you. It means a lot. Your patience, understanding and empathy are what I like best about you.

Thank you. That and the fact you've regularly, you put that in on purpose, you often hook up with people with a bigger age gap. What is it? Is this going to roast on me? Between my husband and I. That's true. He does do that. Sometimes up to double.

Yeah. Vaughn. Yes, Megan up to double Vaughn Yes Megan Oh Vaughn Oh Megan Vaughny Vaughn Meggie Meggie poo You're like the brother I never had I have a brother

But you'd have been a better one Yeah I am a pretty great brother Your work ethic is second to none Thank you I just finished this speech moments before we went on air Pretty great brother. Your work ethic is second to none. Thank you. I just finished this speech moments before we went on air, but I know if you'd done it, it would have been done, spell-checked, proofread and edited last night.

It would have been. It would have been. I definitely wouldn't have finished about 10 seconds before it was due to be read. Before then being changed into a size 16 Calibri font, which is far easier to read. Of course it is. What else can be said about you, given that it's only two minutes until I have to read this on air? Acrostic poem time.

Brilliant. B is for valuable. Your advice is always great. Yeah. A is for attention. You always listen, mate. I do. Thank you.

U is for unique. Not many things start with U. G is for great. You're that through and through. Oh, yeah. H is for handsome. You're a 10 out of 10. A is for attention.

Can I use it again? And N is for nice. You're a really nice guy. We had to end on a rhyme on an odd number but there's not a rhyme to the last line. 12 years. It's a dozen. It's half a 24

which is how many hours there are in a day and that's how long I could sing you praises. This is so touching. Very nice. Thanks guys. You're my favourites. I couldn't work with anyone else. Mostly because now that I've worked with you,

I'm tarnished and no one else will want me. That happens. I love you. Aw, we love you too. Well, I love you too, Fletch. I love you too, yeah. Ah, oh my God. That was lovely.

Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I meant every word that I wrote Beautiful kind words Thank you so much Sort of paying a homage Yeah To us after 12 years Silk scarf I thought you were going to say and seen

You're not actually getting a present Oh what I should have expected as much Was that literally the present The and scene. Oh, and scene. No. You're not actually getting a present. Oh, what? I should have expected as much. Was that literally the present? Oh, that song ended perfectly. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. I didn't even know this, but did you know in Argentina there's a gnocchi day every month? A what day? Gnocchi. Gnocchi. How's it spelled? Gnocchi.

You know the potato pasta? Gnocchi. Oh, gnocchi. Right, okay. Gnocchi. Gnocchi. Gnocchi. Gnocchi. Gnocchi. You know the potato pasta? Gnocchi. Oh, gnocchi. Right, okay. Gnocchi. Gnocchi. Gnocque. Okay.

Oh, I actually had it up how to say it in Spanish. Is it a Spanish word? I always thought it was Italian. It is Italian. It's Italian, but this is, if you turn this up. Gnocchis. Gnocchis. Oh, okay. There is a Spanish take on it because it's every month,

there's a Nockie Day and it's the 29th of the month. Any idea why this is a tradition? Because what's it made out of? Potato. Is it just because they've got lots of potatoes left over and they want to get rid of them before the next month? Not quite. Not quite.

They do have leftover potatoes. It's because the tradition in Argentina is that people got paid on the first day of the month. So by the end of the month, the only thing that was like regularly left in the cupboard was flour and potatoes. And of course, gnocchi's made from those. Yeah, right. Like noodles right before payday.

It's like two minute noodles before payday. Yeah, right. But so much nicer. But. It's like two minute noodles before payday. Yeah, right. But so much nicer. I know, so much classier than that. So yeah, apparently every month, and you would eat it just before payday. And there was also a tradition that the person, the head of the household would put a one peso coin

under every person's dinner plate. And then when you finished your gnocchi, you discreetly took the peso from under the dinner plate in case you were struggling just before payday and a peso could help you in some way. Oh, that's cool. Okay. That you would, yeah, get the peso and the gnocchi. What did they put with it? If it was the end of the shopping week?

Yeah, because that's what I was wondering. You wouldn't be able to afford a nice sauce. Butter and garlic. Yeah, I guess just with whatever else you had around. I ain't mad about that. A bit of margarine. I ain't mad about that pasta made of potatoes and having it with more butter and then some garlic. I mean, that sounds to me

like an amazing meal. So yeah, today's fact of the day is that there is a knocky day every month in Argentina and it's the 29th because it was the easiest thing to make with what you had left before payday. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So I cleaned out my car.

If you listen to the show, my Honda Accord gets a fair bit of bashing, even though it's just ticked over 240,000 k's and it purrs. Not unlike. You got a ride this morning? I did. It was very clean. Very clean, wasn't it? Yeah. Replaced that wing mirror, but as you said, I haven't scratched the little number off it.

It's still got like white writing. Yeah, the part number on it. Oh my God. That'll be there for two years. Yeah, couldn't get it off easily. But I cleaned out the car. Yeah. I did like a top to bottom valet style clean out, but did it myself.

And I made myself a promise that I wasn't just going to leave stuff in the car willy-nilly anymore. Because I always just take stuff from here and I'll chuck in the back of the car and then just leave it there. Yeah. Because you get home and you're excited to be home. Yeah. And you've got things to do. Yeah. And you're just like, I'll do that later.

And then six months later, there's a smell. Yeah. Or you just come to clean it out and you're like oh that's where that was or I really didn't need this because it's been sitting there for six months not being used. So I said I'm not leaving

anything in my car. This is your mantra. I'm not just going to leave everything in my car unless I know for a fact like I'm putting it in there when I'm at home to bring to work tomorrow.

Okay. I can't just sit there for weeks. And that's allowed. So yesterday I took something home and I was like oh oh, well, I'm not going to use that straight away. I'll leave it in the boot. And then I thought, no Vaughan Smith. You get that out of that boot, you lazy son of a gun.

Okay. And you put it where you were going to put it. Somewhere else. So you've done it for three days. Well, it feels like it would be closer to a week. I cleaned the car last week when we were going to go away. Okay. Remember?

Because Shada had to use it. And I was like, it's actually a bit yuck. So I cleaned it out. So yeah, it's been a week of this mantra. Of Googled, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a person to form a habit, an average of 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic. I thought it was 21.

18 sounds better than 250. I know, and an average of 60, so that's two months, just over two months to make a habit. So if you think of like gym or quitting smoking or taking stuff out of your car, two whole months.

And just not just treating your car like a storage unit. No. But then there was, when I did clean it out, there was some things that had been in there for ages. Yeah. And that got me thinking about people that are driving around now with something that's just been sitting in their car. Oh, yeah. One thing I would never do, I never leave anything that's going to smell in there. Like, you know, some people leave a gym bag in their car and they'll be like

oh no I just get new clothes and they're like it's getting a bit smelly I must remember to deal with that and then they don't and the boot stinks and then the whole car

smells like mold and sweaty stuff so I know those are things that people quite often leave in the car sports gear and stuff yeah golf clubs

I don't play golf but when you play golf and you don't use your boot, I can imagine leaving them in there would be handy because then you could just have a game of golf. Yeah. But there'd be stuff people would listen to. Do you reckon anyone's got a burger or half a burger? Like in the paper bag?

Yeah. Rolled down tight and put somewhere? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. There'd be half a bottle of like a Gatorade or a Powerade. Oh, yep. Yeah, I had a friend that like she wouldn't have even known what was there.

You just had to push aside the rubbish. Everybody had the friend that's foot well was full of rubbish. Yeah, my mate Matthew's car. He'd be like, well, should we just take your car? I'd be like, we'll always take my car. Let's take your car. He's like, you asked for it. Here's some rustling in the wrappers. You'd be like, what do I say it's my car? Let's say it's your car. He's like, you asked for it. Here's some rustling

in the wrappers. You'd be like, okay, let's say it's my car. Alright, so 0800DARLS.NM we want you to call us now or text 9696. How long has something been sitting in your car?

Like, anything. Yeah, bonus points if it's food. Well, bonus points for us, not obviously for you. No, bonus points if it's smelly

or weird as well. 0800 DALZATM. Give us a call. So what are the things that have been in your car the longest and how bad it's got? There are some dirty people out there, eh? Somebody said, I got given a beautiful big tray of fresh eggs from a workmate.

I put them in the back of my car very carefully, drove home, went inside, and that's when we found out the next day it was going to be level four lockdown. So I didn't use that car again for a few weeks. Oh, no. And worked from home when I finally got back into the car some five weeks later,

because we were using my partner's car if we needed to go anywhere. It wasn't pretty. Real sight for the neighbours watching us carefully carry a tray of rotten eggs to the wheelie bin and try to place it in the bin without breaking any. See, I'd want to put it in something before I put it in the wheelie bin. I'll put it in a plastic bag, but then that's bad

for the environment, isn't it? Not as bad as rotten eggs. Although you brought in your eggs yesterday. Somebody's left them. Who left their eggs yesterday? I took eggs. It's an empty container off you. Someone brought it back. Somebody's left them. Who left their eggs yesterday? I took eggs. It's an empty container. Oh, okay. Someone brought it back.

Did you bring your container back? How very thoughtful. I'll fill it back up. She wants more eggs. She wants to be first in the egg queue. She's a formerly egg queue. And they said some of them are already popped. So that meant that the tray they were in was also like really stinky and a bit weakened.

Right. Jenny, what have you left in the car the longest? Dog poo. We took our dog for a walk and I put it in the boot and it stunk. But did you put it in a doggy bag, a little tie up doggy bag thing? No, in a brown paper bag. Oh, good on you. Look at you go environment wise.

Saving the environment, not saving your car. No. How long was it in there that you forgot about it? A couple weeks at least. It was during one of the COVID lockdowns as well. Oh. Wow. That's going to be smelly. Yeah. Alright, hey, thanks for your call.

Alida, your mum's left something in the car? Yeah, I left school in 2015 and gave her my school uniform to take back. It's still in her boot. Had it been washed or did you just crumple it up and chuck it in? Probably just crumpled it up. That was, you know, last year. Graduation day, that was it.

But then that's one of those things, a uniform, if you've got to take it back to the school, you're like, oh, I just can't be bothered going pie there today. But you never know when you're going to need that for a Bar 101 party, you know, a back-to-school party. So you just hold on to it. That's true. And it's nice after the first year of uni to look back at what you used to fit

before all halls of residence fed you nothing but complex carbohydrates for a year. So, Elisa, what have you left in the car and for how long? you used to fit before all halls of residence feed you nothing but complex carbohydrates for a year. True. Elisa, what have you left in the car and for how long? So I gave my son a packet of hot chips and he managed to throw it everywhere in the car and it only managed to take a couple of pieces back. And then probably about eight months later, I was going to sell my car and then there Mike tried to scrape everything off my car in the booth

underneath the seat, and they all moldy and yuck. This is something Megan's got to look forward to. You've never had a kid's seat in the back of your car. When you take it out, you're like, how long has all of these biscuit pieces been? And those rusks, you know babies chew on those rusks? Yeah, I don't cope with it. And then just drop it, and it goes under under their seat and they'll live there for two years

Yeah, hey Lisa, thanks for your call. David, you've seen it all? I work for a valet company so we're mobile, we come to you and we clean your car at your house Oh, so you've seen it all Yeah, yeah, like you'll be surprised what's inside some people's cars Like what's the worst you've found? I mean, like, you wouldn't say the worst, but I cleaned this gang member's car, and I found, like, a huge butcher's knife hidden underneath the seat. And then I was like, hey, do you remember this?

He's like, oh, I forgot about that. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Okay that. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Okay, thank you, bro. And that's it. You remember me shitting you like, hey, mate, what do you want me to do with this? Do you need me to wipe the DNA in the fingerprints off? Oh, my God.

Do you want me to clean that too? Wow, David, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. I left a soiled nappy in a nappy bag in a hot car. Oh, yuck. But it only took overnight to stink the car out. So that's just a warning for anybody that thinks they can leave that sneaky in there. Somebody else said that I've got my zombie kit in my car.

Doubles as a survival kit. Wouldn't want to explain it to a cop if they pulled me over. Right. Now, you may have, earlier in this piece, we talked to Kennedy, who borrowed her friend's car, and she was at a moment going through a fishing stage. Oh, yeah, fishing phase. Bryony M, I believe she was referred to. She was named and shamed.

Well, Bryony M was listening and has called through to defend herself. Good morning. Hi. You might remember, Bryony, I said you sound fun. I was panicking when I heard that. I just heard Bryony emails. I can't believe this.

So you're not denying the fact that you left fish bait in your car for a prolonged period. It's just a period of time that you wish to debate. Yes, it was a week and I was away but the day that we found it, it was such

a hot day and we got into the car and we were like why does it smell so bad? We opened the boot and there was all this bait in there with maggots all over it. It was so bad. We were really late to a potluck on the day so we cleared out the boot and it smelled so bad in the car the whole bad. We were really late to a potluck on the day, so we cleared out the boot and it smelled so

bad in the car the whole time. We were all like our heads out the window driving there. Everyone's holding their little mac and cheese dish. Holding their mac and cheese dish, permeating the stink of fish. I would have just poured petrol in the boot and definitely not done car insurance fraud.

Is that when your fishing phase ended? Oh, well, no, my fishing phase actually ended because my car got broken into and someone stole my fishing rod. Did your fishing phase start to impress a boy? No. Okay. No, it was just all on my own. What started your fishing phase? What was the... Oh, just boredom. I thought I'd be good at it, but was just all on my own. Well, what started your fishing phase?

What was the... Oh, just boredom. I thought I'd be good at it, but I didn't catch any fish, so... Were you standing in the right place, Bryony M? Well, I went to lots of places. I didn't... It wasn't like a one-hit wonder. I went many times.

Did you check the Bill Hohepper fishing calendar? Um, no. Well, no, you need one of those, because it tells you what time the best fish are. Yeah, and if the fish is all full of black ink, that means the sea's full of fish that day. Oh, right. I think. Yeah, no, I didn't really get much into it. I did get a fishing book for Christmas, but, um, yeah, it didn't go that well.

You didn't catch a single thing. I caught one, um, little one, but it but it was like I had to throw it back. Oh, my God. I love you. You sound so much fun. I want you to get, is there any chance you can get back into fishing? What's your current phase? My current phase?

No, I do have another fishing rod, but I need to get more line on it because it keeps... I have to keep having to cut it because I'm keeping the... Snags, snacks. Yeah, yeah. The worst part about it.

Oh, my God. You have to keep fishing, Bryony, and keep us updated. If you catch a fish... Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, if I catch a fish, everyone will know about it

Okay I even think we could do a segment Bryony goes fishing And you update us on how your fishing goes Because I'm just riveted at the moment I want you to catch a big fish Oh, same You know when you watch a fishing show and they always catch fish

But I want the underdog To go out there and finally catch a fish Yeah No, I've caught a few off the boat I always catch fish, but I want the underdog to go out there and finally catch a fish. No, I've caught a few off the boat, but I want to get good at shore fishing so, you know, I can live off the land. Yes. Oh, my God, I love this. I love this. Will you keep us updated, Bryony, if you end up going fishing more?

Because I think we're now invested. The listeners are invested now. Yeah. The ones that are left are. because I think we're now invested the listeners are invested now yeah good luck the ones the ones that are left are but that's on us not you yeah yeah that's our problem

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