ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 8th October 2021

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

Partners Playing Dumb  Yummy Yummy!  1 News Cross  Top 6: Picnic Hazards  When did you nearly die?  Vaughan did something out of character  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play! ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3. And also dine-in at level 1. And then once we've done these podcast intros, after the show I'm getting my second vax. Vaccine, vaccine, you're not the only one.

Wait, what were you singing? You're not the vaccine, Maxine. No, I was singing vaccine like Jolene. Vaccine. I got you, babe. Vaccine. Vaccine. Vaccine.

I'm begging of you, please get in my arm. Maxine. The Maxine works better because it's the same. Maxine, Maxine. I had your back. I don't believe you do me any harm. It's such an odd name choice for a song, Maxine. Yeah.

Who the fuck sung Maxine? Maxine, you're not the only one. I want to say like a female. Sharon O'Neill. Sharon O'Neill. That's right. That's a New Zealand song. So international listeners will be like, the fuck are you singing?

I think even anybody will be like, what the fuck are you singing? No, it's like a regional radio classic. Oh, you're showing your age. Whereas I'm playing a song even older and everyone knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, but Jolene doesn't rhyme with... Donny Pond didn't even sung this, did she? Didn't she go, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. I'm begging of you, please get it.

She gave a million dollars to the development of, which one was it? Moderna or one of them? I can't remember. What are your big ones? One of them. And would that have been like a share of the company? Did she make? Moderna.

Moderna. Carwin has just messaged at the social media desk. She slaps. Referring to Dolly? Absolutely, she does. Referring to Sharon O'Neill. What the? Oh, you're right. Okay. Don'tring to Sharon O'Neill? What the? Oh yeah right, okay. Don't tell me Sharon O'Neill's cool with the

millennials? What are you guys again? Gen Z's? Wait so next time I make a Takashi69 reference shall I say Sharon O'Neill instead? I think it's only me that likes Sharon O'Neill. Why do you know of Sharon O'Neill? Obscure New Zealand songstress.

My mum probably listens to it. Also, Smash Palace in Christchurch. What? Do they always play it? No, she has a song called Smash Palace. Oh, right. But that's about the original Smash Palace, right? Yeah, which is in the central North Island.

Yeah. Which is where they ended up in Taika Waititi's Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Yeah. And the New Zealand film Smash Palace Yes With Bruno Lawrence There we go Some great

Music and film history there I've got Maxine by Sharon O'Neill Playing now If you want to turn my channel Back up and see what that sounds like Yeah Yeah Here it comes

Is this the most well known Sharon O'Neill song? I don't know I feel like she had another one as well Asian Paradise Is this the most well-known Sharon O'Neill song? I don't know. I feel like she had another one as well. Asian Paradise? I don't know if we're allowed to play that now. It was a different time.

She is from Christchurch. I've seen you, Dolly, put Pardon's version of The Vaccine. The Vaccine. Vaccine, yeah. Come on. No, you've got to get to the chorus. I was going to Asian Paradise. I was getting to the chorus. Okay, I'll go back.

Oh, yeah, that sounds a bit inappropriate, isn't it? Scoot through. Oh, my God. Maxine. It takes one free bite. Yeah, all right. I was trying to get a banger in my head. I think I was remembering that better than it was.

That's called nostalgia Yeah This is I mean it can't be As bad as melting pot What we Can it There's some lines In melting pot

That are a bit Fast forward Give us some Yeah, I'm over this Yeah, yeah, me too I don't know Okay, lovely Lovely voice though Let's go to Dolly Parton's to finish up, please

Okay, I'm in the YouTube video now It's me I'm finally going to get my vaccine I'm so excited I've been waiting a while I'm in the YouTube video now. It's me. I'm finally going to get my vaccine. I'm so excited. I've been waiting a while. I'm old enough to get it and I'm smart enough to get it. So I'm very happy that I'm going to get my Moderna shot today. And I wanted to tell everybody, I think you should get out there and do it too.

I even changed one of my songs to fit the occasion. It goes, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. I'm begging of you, please don't hesitate. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. Because once you're dead, then that's a bit too late. I'm trying to be funny now.

Yes. God, she's an absolute world treasure. Absolute treasure. She really treasure. Absolute treasure. She really is. An absolute treasure. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleach, Vaughan and Megan.

Wow. I tell you what, let's start with a round of applause for New Zealand Post. Four parcels a second. That's not even including other courier companies, is it? Oh, no, you got your Aramex. You got your... You're out. A ship came into the harbour.

PBT. PBT. Yeah, that's one. It's Paul Bruce Transport. Fastway. Is that still a thing? Peter Baker, sure, that one. Fastway, sub-60s.

Yep. Courier Post. Yep. Or is that NZ Post? That's NZ Post. That's NZ Post. It's Courier Post. And then that's also DHL.

Who are the yellow ones? That's also, I don't know. The yellow ones. There's red with a little yellow, and then there's yellow with a little red. Oh, yeah. Courier Post is one of them. Yeah. But that was the NZ post, wasn't it?

Yeah. Are you Googling couriers? I'm Googling, yeah, New Zealand couriers. Aramax, you said that. Post haste? Did we say post haste? I don't think we said post haste. Urgent couriers?

Oh, yeah. Did we say that one? They've got the runny man on the side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, whoever you work for, just thank you for getting us our parcels in our mail. And yeah, I'm assuming Christmas is going to be insane. You'll be putting some bloody K's on the high ace, that's for sure, aren't you? Hey, make sure it's got oil, hey!

The next chance for you to win cash, $10,000 to current jackpot with ZM's $50,000 secret sound. All thanks to Neon. It's coming up at 7. We'll give you a shot at 8 o'clock as well, right throughout the day. This is the secret sound that could win you the cash. So, have a think. The Activator just before the news at 7.

The Top 6 is coming up. I'm just looking at the weather. Saturday, Sunday, cloudy, but some sun. A little break from some rain before it starts again and rains all next week. Perfect picnic weather and you're allowed

to have a backyard picnic, but watch out! The top six things to watch out for at backyard picnics this weekend. For our Auckland listeners this weekend.

Yeah, or you can have a picnic in solidarity with Auckland if you're in another part of the country. Yeah. My chat won't load. What's next? Coming up on the show, is your partner guilty of weaponised incompetence?

Wow. Jesus. I don't know what that means. I'll have a read. Is that something you're guilty of? I'll have a read. Weaponised incompetence. Well, I am incompetent, and I do weaponise anything.

So very highly probable. Hard to get out of doing the chores. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. The hashtag weaponised incompetence is getting lots of TikToks at the moment. This is basically where, and it is mostly women, say their partners pretend to be clueless to get out of either like chores or like cooking meals or looking after their kids. This goes both ways though, surely.

I mean, if I'm honest, it's probably me in the relationship. I don't know how to do it. I can't reach that. I mean, I could get a stool, but I'm like, oh, I can't reach it. Just classic round here from you. Yeah, don't know how to do that. I don't reach it. It's classic round here from you.

You don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. But that's my life mantra. Don't get good at what you don't want to do. So literally don't learn how to do it. And then you can say, I don't know how to do it. You don't have to. Yeah, fair call.

It's a fair point. But yeah, mostly these are women who are sharing their clueless husbands, including one who has to send her husband to the store. She writes a grocery list, but the first one like she has to put eggs and then she puts a little picture like she's cut it out from a catalogue. A picture of eggs?

Quantity, one, aisle, 13, price, $1.89. Oh God, just go do the shopping yourself. Yeah, no, you're spending more time to send him shopping than if you just went and got it done. But that's what he wants, right? Yeah. He wants to make it hard for her.

Yeah, so she'll be like, look, I'll just do it. But then she's not giving in. Yeah. I mean, they married them and they knew they were there. Or are they marrying them and then they're weaponising their incompetence? I don't know. Their incompetence could somewhat, you know, double or triple. Yeah.

Do you pull any of this? You're pretty good. You're all like 50-50 house chores. I was raised by a woman, my mother, who wouldn't have stood for any of that shit from anybody. No. And my father was raised by a mother that made her boys

learn how to do everything. Yeah, good. Around the house. Because she was married to a man that just got in from the farm and sat. Oh, right. I've done my work for the day. Super traditional old mate. Right. Yeah. Whereas my granddad on the other side, no, he did heaps of chores around the house.

Okay. Yeah. No, I don't. Like, I'll grizzle, but I'll do it. Yeah. But that, like, describes Sade's dad to a T. Like, he even does it at our place. He'll walk up to the sink with a plate,

and he'll be like, oh. And play this dithery old fool. Where could I possibly put this? I know you like to load the dishwasher a very specific way so I'll just leave that. He's not wrong though. You do have a

specific way. But by the time he gets to it, the dishwasher it's loaded and there'll be a slot left for his plate. So it's not hard to work out. No. Yeah. I don't know what it's called, what I do,

but I do this thing where this is a perfect example. This happened last night. So this is hot. This is a hot bun out of the oven. Fresh, soft, and squishy. Okay. By the way, you tried those buns? I haven't tried them.

I haven't tried them. You purchased them. The brioche. Oh, the French brioche buns? I haven't tried them. I haven't tried them. You purchased them. The brioche. Oh. The French brioche buns. I haven't tried them yet. That's this weekend. I'll give a full review.

Okay. So last night Sade said, can you take the rubbish out in the morning? And I said, no, you'll have plenty of time to do it. It's taking the bin down to the end of the driveway. Oh, yep. It's rubbish day. It's not recycling week. One bin, not two.

I said, you'll have plenty of time to do it. And she was like, because it's hard to argue with that. She will have time to do it. And I'm always rushing in the morning. Definitely rushing. Oh God. I was pressed snooze too many times.

No time for the bin. Full well knowing when I said, no, you'll have plenty of time to do it, that A, I had irked her. Yep. But B, I was going to do it. Oh, okay. So then today I take the bin out.

Yep. So that today when she wakes up, she'll be like, rubbish day. Yep. And walk to the door and look, and the bin will be gone. Oh, wow. And it's raining. Yeah. So she'll be like, oh like oh my god he did it.

He's the hero. What a great guy. So what I did was I I knew I was going to do something but I said I wasn't going to do it. So I'm in arrears. You can draw a diagram to help along with this. We're talking about brownie points. You're in arrears. I'm in arrears of brownie

points because I said no I don't want to do something. But then I did do something. So I earned more brownie points because I said, no, I don't want to do something. But then I did do something. So I earned more brownie points than I would have had I just done it. Right. And I'm coming from a negative. Yeah. So if you draw, how big a gap of brownie points? The difference.

So much more brownie points. Do we call this gaslighting? Emotional warfare. It's not gaslighting. Emotional warfare. It's not gaslighting because I'm not trying to make her think something didn't happen or did happen

that didn't, you know? Yeah, yeah. But there should be, if you're a psychologist listening to the show, this will have a name. You're making her feel something negative

about herself. I should, I should take it out. He's right. I negged myself. Yeah. Okay. I negged myself. Yeah. To then positive myself. Yeah. So that the gap of brownie points

is bigger. This guy's listening who I just like. He's telling them our secrets. But this is just between us. Okay. Yummy, yummy. Well, reports into the yummy Yummy desk of a new chocolate, a vegan chocolate from Cadbury, which has got people very excited.

What does it have in it? Instead of what oil is used, not palm oil. Well, it says plant-based milk. Made using plant-based milk on the wrapper. And then, so this thread, so this news story originally came, I saw from the UK about the launch there. They're saying that it will be launched next month. But a vegan Facebook page in New Zealand already saying

that they've seen it for sale around the place in New Zealand, somebody's commented. Oh, okay. And then in the comments as well, people are saying, well, apparently some of the Whittakers is vegan. The dark chocolate, maybe? Don't quote me on that. Okay. I won't quote you on that.

But I don't want an angry vegan saying they had some workers. Hello, New Zealand Herald? Yeah, withdraw my submitted quote. Yeah, he's not happy to be a sales head with the quote. He doesn't want to be. It's too late. They've printed a provocative headline. Sorry.

Did you hear me, Fletch? They've already printed a provocative headline. Damn it. Did it link directly to you? That I hate vegans or something. Yeah. Which I don't. You said, quote? That I hate vegans or something. Yeah. Which I don't. You said, quote, everything's vegan.

Quote, everything's vegan, sure. Right. But, you know, that's exciting. I know some people are getting quite excited about that. What do vegans eat for sweets? That's a serious question. That might be a dumb, ignorant question, but it is from a place of serious interest. You'll just...

There's lots of chocolates that are plant-based and stuff. Right. So is this nothing new? And there are vegan lolly brands as well. It's not new, but it's a major brand that's doing it. So that's why

everyone's excited. So that's a big step for the major brand. Okay. Yeah. Yum. Good, I don't have anything more to report on that. That's all I got. Interest born? No, I was interested.

All we've got at the yummy, yummy dish today. I'd try it. The problem is it's still, there's still sugar. And that's the big problem, isn't it? Yeah. Remember when I was saying that we had those mushrooms and they were my favourite, not mushrooms, dumplings, and my favourite ones were the mushroom ones

and they were vegetarian. Yeah. It's a big step for me. Okay, cool, you're on a medal. He does. That's a big step for me. You did go on about that. I am a person that outside of breakfast,

every meal must have a meat element to it. Otherwise, I'm like, well, I'm going to be hungry again soon. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The owner of a well-known New Zealand health store, Hardee's. Hardee's, Hardee's in your neighbourhood. When you come to Hardee's, you'll walk out feeling cold and flu symptoms. And with a lack of taste and a subtle lack of smell.

Them. So Diana, she is a naturopath. She is a co-owner of Hardee's. It seems she put up a post bragging that at this stage 99% are choosing not to get jabbed and she supported their staff to make the right informed

choice for them. and she supported their staff to make the right informed choice for them. 99% of their staff are choosing not to get the vaccination. Well, they'll have to expect a few sick days in the coming months. That is now that post. No, man, you keep up your vitamin Cs, you won't need no vac-a-c-a-n-a-c-i-n-a-tion. Yeah. Vac-a-nation. Vac-a-vac Back at vacanations.

So that post has now been deleted. But she is a co-owner with her husband. And Vince, her husband, has said that was not an officially sanctioned Hardee's post. Oh dear. How was the dinner table last night? Hardee supports the government's vaccination program. And of course, staff vaccination at this stage. We have not requested vaccination status.

Info from our staff. Wow. So a poll this morning saying... I'm entitled to my opinion. That's what it would have been. He would have been like, cut it out. I can't go public with...

You can't say that sort of thing in public. Not on the business Facebook page. No, you know there'll be people who, you know, the vaccination rates are getting up there and you're just getting a whole lot of business with that sort of nonsense. He did say Diana was apologetic

and that changes would be made to processes undertaken before a Facebook post is shared to ensure the correct information is provided. So every post has to run through Vince now. Wow. Diana's, I would actually take her off the password. I'd take her off the group admin page. She's not allowed to post anymore.

So a poll this morning saying 91% of New Zealanders want to get vaccinated, even those that have still not got around to it, which is great. But that's like if you're a business to come out and say something like that. That's like you're in the minority. Well, this is the problem is that lots of people were like planning to boycott the store. So, yeah, they need to do a bit of damage control. Maybe remix that jingle, get it in the charts, get people liking it again.

Yep. Yep. Just trying to brainstorm some ideas. Work the vaccine into the jingle maybe. Yeah. Well, I know Diane, was it? Big fan of R. Kelly. So maybe she can get him to remix it for her.

Why does she not read the room on that one either? Shit. She's having a bad week. She just loves the recognition in the remix, you know. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Well, the news did some stories last night on the Waikato COVID-19 boundary. The change of it, maybe move south a little bit more

after some cases popping up in the Waikato. So if you're not feeling good this morning, get a test. Get a test. She's all go. She's all go. TVNZ reporter Nicole Bremner found herself on the mean streets of Te Amutu at an intersection. I always feel sorry for these reporters

because the amount of people that go past and honk and... It's gotten worse lately too. Yeah, small town New Zealand love seeing someone with a microphone. They don't see it every day. So when they do, they just absolutely play up. Yeah. Well, Nicole Maremna, we crossed live to this cross that was recorded last night.

This is how it all went down on the mean streets of Te Amutu. We're going to work like Auckland's border in a stringent way that we are checked and very strictly monitored in the way we move about. Police have told the government that they're going to have resources for roadblocks on every single road. So just a reminder for air travellers

that Hamilton Airport is now inside this level 3 cordon. And that means for people who live outside it, they will be able to travel from Tauranga or Rotorua instead. An unflappable Nicole Bremner in Te Ao Mutu. Thank you very much. She did not even flinch. She nailed it. So that's the comments people rolling in. That's got to be the noisiest intersection in Te Amutu.

No, the Toyota Altezza, which like 10 years ago, they were the car to have. The boy racer go-to. Yeah, but you don't see as many of them out. I'd imagine they've been put sideways into a ditch or something. But somebody said the burnout The guy doing burnouts behind Nicole Bremner Was busted by those coppers

That wasn't even a burnout It was literally he was putting the clutch in and revving the hell out of it You never hear the squeal of the tyres No It's just a big rev Which is a shame Like come on if it was Morrisville someone would have laid some smoke I'm just

You know you get embarrassed By your fellow Waikato towns I was watching it I was like This is so New Zealand Like so Small New Zealand town I was like

Because they went away And then they came back And I was like really And then you hear the cops And you're like What Poetic justice I can't see

A lapel microphone In Nicole Bremner. It would have been a boom maybe. So would it have been a boom below her? Yeah. Well, there's your problem. Even directional boom would pick up. Oh, yeah. If she'd be wearing a lapel,

not as much car. Why don't you send her an email and tell her what she did wrong? Well, I'm wondering if she's worried about the lapel because she's got a wide collared shirt she thought down here might be too far away, but then she's wearing a white blouse underneath. So it was,

this is, now if she'd, I'm imagining she's not from a small white-catted town because she would have known. She would have known what was coming. That someone was going to carry on like a fool in the, a damn fool in the background. You've got to do these crosses away from roads.

Yeah. Yeah. And I know the background's always important because you want it to look like busy and representative of the town, but also giving people the chance to play up in the background. From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Atamari e, and welcome to the Top Six. The Top Six things to watch out for at your backyard picnics this weekend. Auckland and other people picnicking

around New Zealand in solidarity for their Auckland brethren. Are you going to picnic with anyone? Nah. Nah. It was floated, but I was like... It's a lot of effort, isn't it? Yeah.

Not really. Get some food and eat it on some grass. Yeah. And then be distance and kind of yell at each other. Yeah. It's not across the field. But the good thing is, how far away are these people? Because I could whisper to Sade.

Two metres? I want to go home now. And she'd be like, we can't go home. We only just got here. And I'd say, but I've already eaten. The look on your, you don't need to say that, because the look on your face always says it. Everyone knows when you're ready to go home.

You start cleaning up other people's houses. Okay, Vaughn needs to go home. I think we should go. Vaughn, we can hear you. Is it okay if I go then? So the top six things to watch out for at your backyard picnics this weekend. And number six, if I know anything So the top six things to watch out for at your backyard picnics this weekend. Number six.

If I know anything about picnics being represented in cartoons and TV shows, it's those pesky ants you've got to watch out for. Oh, yeah. They come marching in two by two. Hurrah. Hurrah. They come in marching two by two. Hurrah.

Hurrah. They'll grab your sausage roll and go and they'll eat your cream bun. Oh, no. Was that a bug spray ad? That song at one point? Oh, it might have been. It is just a song, though. A marching song.

Yeah. So watch out for ants. Number five on the list of the top six things to watch out for at your backyard picnics this weekend. Olives that look like grapes and grapes that look like olives. I'm just saying it's one of those things when you chuck them in your mouth and you're expecting a predictable flavour. Yeah.

And you're met by not what you were expecting. By something salty and a stone. Yeah, and that's another thing I was going to watch out for. You'll bite through it thinking it's a grape. It's an olive and somebody bought the olives without the stones taken out. Oh my God. Buy olives and have them stuffed with things so people can see that's a stuffed olive.

Yeah. Not all of us can afford a bougie stuffed olive. Or get the olives and stuff them yourself. Okay. Poke a little bit of grated cheese in there. Yum. Okay, yum. That would be pretty good.

Just 10 seconds in the microwave. Would that be revolutionary? I would melt the cheese before I put it in the olive, if I was doing it that way. Oh, yeah, okay. Would you just have to kind of poke it in? I was thinking of using this fat syringe we've got. Yum. You'd start like that, and then you'd end up just putting cheese all over the top of

them. I'd end up squeezing the syringe of cheese into my mouth. Yeah. And then feeling full and not needing to go to the top of them. I just end up squeezing the syringe of cheese into my mouth. And then feeling full and not needing to go to the picnic. Number four on the list of the top six things to watch out for at the backyard picnics this weekend. The sharp edge on a

Waddy's tomato sauce rip and dip tin. Oh yeah. You know those little ones you always get them when you're having a bit of fish and chip, the old rip. It can be sharp and you're getting your fingers in there and because there's a lot of sauce it'll get to the point where you've got to really run it around to get it sharp till you cut yourself. I'm just saying be careful.

And some people don't take the lid right off. They leave it like... Take it right off. You're finishing that sauce then and there. We're not taking that home. Come on. Just drink it if it's not finished. Pour a bit of water in there so it gets runnier

and then just drink it. Number three on the list of the top six things to watch out for at a backyard picnic this weekend. A precuriously balanced drink on a picnic mat. Yeah. You think it looks stable. All it's going to take is a little move, a little pull of the picnic rug. Anything.

That drink's going over. Yeah. That drink is just flat out. Number two on the list of the top six things to watch out for at the backyard picnic this weekend. Where the wee streams go when everyone's going on the lemon tree. Because if you're downhill from the lemon tree, the wees is going to start making its way down.

You can't go inside to use the toilet. Everyone's going to be weeing on trees. Lemon trees are great to wee on. They love the wee. They love the ammonia. So, it's going to run down a hill. You don't want to put your picnic blanket in any sort of predictable stream of wee.

Yeah. Because then you're going to get wee's on your blanket. No one likes wee's on their blanket. No one wants that. No one does. And number one on the list of the top six things to watch out for

at your backyard picnic this weekend, bears wearing hats and ties that want to steal your picnic basket. Here's what to watch out for when they're approaching. If you see another picnic basket, pop legs out the bottom and go toink, toink, toink, toink, toink, toink on the ground. Or if there's a tree

with a rope that they could swing in and grab your picnic basket. You keep saying basket. Jolly Stone Park. That's how easy it is. Let's go get some picnic baskets. I don't know, Yogi. That is today's Top of Six.

ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Season 10. It is season 10 of ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Current jackpot, $10,000. It's all thanks to Neon. Get a Kiwi streaming service.

Get great value. Get it on Neon. Soundkeeper Owls, good morning. Good morning. Talking about Neon, have you guys seen New Amsterdam? I love that one. I have actually. It's a series. I've been watching that.

Yes. Oh, it's so good. I honestly cry every time at dinner. There's some feels in there. There's feels in there. Yep, definitely. Wait, you watch it at dinner knowing it's going to make you cry at dinner? Well, I wasn't prepared for one episode and then boom, bam.

Yeah. Bam. Yeah, I don't know. One time of the day I'm guaranteed not to cry at dinner. I'm at my happiest. I can't do TV while I'm eating. I watch the news or YouTube but I won't do an actual

drama while I'm eating. You don't do drama while you're eating. You don't want to sob while you're eating. I learnt the hard way. Alright, Vicky joins us this morning. Good morning, Vicky. Oh my gosh, hello. You've made it. You've learned the hard way. Yeah. All right, Vicky joins us this morning. Good morning, Vicky. Oh, my gosh. Hello.

You've made it. You've done the hard bit. You've got through. Oh, my gosh, Vicky. Hi. Hi. So, Vicky, this is our Season 10 Secret Sound. Yes.

For $10,000, what do you think that secret sound is? I think it's a car door handle Pinging or like clicking when you open it Okay, let's have a listen to that Yeah, okay This is up close Some people have pretty clicky door handles Yeah, I've been on a car

Have you tried this up close, Vicky, with your car? Some people have pretty clicky door handles. Yeah, I have an old car. Have you tried this up close, Vicky, with your car? Yeah, and I've aligned the two sounds on my handicap. Oh, wow. And so they look the same in waveform. Yeah, I think. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so we've got a professional here. Is it correct for $10,000 Vicky? Look, the secret sound is a little

bit tricky and it's still not correct. That is not the secret sound. Oh, Vicky, you don't go home empty handed. We have All this week Every guest that gets on air A one month Neon subscription So that's all yours Well done Thank you so much ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan Imagine loading your groceries

And your three year old Into your car And then all of a sudden There's a pole across the car And a branch of a tree Has been smashed onto it as well Oh my god Jeez

And it all happens Imagine it'd be quite a noisy situation because the pole fell on your car because a car hit the pole and then the pole hit your car. Again, I'll remind you, you've just loaded your groceries and your three-year-old into the car. Lucky timing of getting the three-year-old in. Yeah.

This happened in Dunedin on Wednesday. Or the other car, the car that hit the pole, that caused it to fall down is an old Hyundai Tucson. That's a sturdy vehicle there. Very little damage from the pole, which is good to know because Executive Intern Anya drives a Hyundai Tucson.

Oh, goodness. Okay. How did the Tucson fear with the pole, running into the pole? It's sturdy. The other car, the station wagon, looks more, it probably looks worse than it is. So this was just in the supermarket car park? Yep, yep.

In a countdown car park. So how did that car just have a crash? The driver had a minor medical event, it says. Oh, wow, okay. And that caused them to accelerate, crashed into the pole, knocked the pole down. But a very near miss. Like, looking at that photo,

the poles come, like, just down over the side of the car, like the passenger's side. Yeah, I think it's come from across on the driver's side of the front. It's crossed the car, so it's done damage to a lot of the car, and then it's hit it. By the time it's fallen, it's hit it, and it's bent itself around the car a little bit. Like, if you were standing on that side of the car,

like, a second earlier or a second later. Correct. Wow. It could have been a dong. It's freaky when you think about things like that. A major dong. Yeah, yeah. That's final destination.

I know. You were like, oh, if I hadn't stopped to pick up that thing or stopped at those traffic lights, I would have been there then. Yeah. Stuff like that. That freaks me out. But then like after the rest of the week you're looking over your shoulder being like... That's timelines

man. That's alternative timelines man. That's when there's a split in the timeline. All these other decisions we're making are creating new timelines man. Parallel universes. And you can't go around thinking things like that because that's just not how it happens. Yeah. Spend your time instead doing what I do and think about how long ago

something was and then go again that far from the event and see how far back it goes. Okay, things are getting a little bit deep. That's the scary way to spend some time. And it really makes you think, I'm so close to being dead. Okay. Oh, my God. Like, how much longer? You need to buy your bonsai tree.

I know. One's looking for a bonsai because he wants to be calmed at home. He wants to be calmed. The world's getting too stressful for you. I think bonsais could be my future. I could be a crazy bonsai guy with lots of bonsais, and people are like, oh, how are your bonsais? And then I'd start talking about the bonsais,

and they stop listening. Yeah. That sort of thing. No, but I was wondering if anybody listening this morning has had a close call. Like in this sort of thing where something fell down in front of you or somebody actually unrelated, they've been listening to a back catalogue of our podcasts

and I was talking about how after that electrical storm, my car wasn't working right. And they said the same thing happened to me, and I even caught it on film. And it's their dash cam, and they're driving, and the lightning strikes the road in front of them. Oh, my God. So it fried their car.

Yeah, but if they'd been closer, it would have actually hit their car. Hit them. That sort of stuff. Wow. Okay. So, yeah, so if you've got a near miss, you've had something happen where if you were like a second or two earlier or a minute earlier, it would have been over.

Put. Sir. Cherry thought. Mashed. I mean, you made it, so it is a cherry thought, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, let's take some calls.

What's a cherry thought? Like cherry. Oh, I thought you meant the fruit. A cherry thought, and I thought it was some South Island thing. I thought it was a South Island saying too. I was just going to let her have it. Like a cheery, like a cheery moment. The way you said cheery, it was definitely more stone fruit than that.

You pronounce that like a stone fruit, not a cheery. Apologies. There are two E's, not two R's. I mean, both are lovely. A cherry thought and a cherry. Cherry. Cherry. Not cherry.

Cherry. A cherry. A cherry. A fruit. Yeah. And a cherry thought. There you go. You've done that right for the first time.

Oh, my God. Thank you. You've pronounced the second E with a bit more flair. Oh, 800-DARLS-N-E. We want to take your calls. You can text in as well. I need a weekend. 9696 is the text number.

Whenever you had a close call, like this woman, the lamppost smashed in on her car. Oh, shh. We're talking about close calls. A lady in Dunedin after shopping was loading her shopping and her kid into the car. Somebody had a minor medical emergency, smashed into a pole. The pole fell on the car.

Like, she was seconds away from being hit by the pole. And that would have been quite a thud. Oh, it is one of those metal. It would have been like, shadonk. Horrible to even think about. But yeah, we want to know when you've been in a moment like that, when you've had a really close call, when you were like, if I was one or two seconds

or a minute earlier, gone is. Bailey's called up. Bailey, what happened? When did you have a close call? Oh, hey. So I always drive to work the same way. And it's like this windy country road. But there's this real sharp corner

that I always cut and sort of go this windy country road. But there's this real sharp corner that I always cut and sort of go over the white line. But there was this one night I was cruising and I just thought, I don't know, I better not cut that corner tonight. And then, you know, it was just getting dark and I didn't cut it as I went past. It was like an 11-year-old

kid standing right on the white line, just where I always cut it. And I was like, holy shit. Would have totally blown him out. There was a kid just right on the white line just where I always cut it and I was like holy shit I like would have totally blown him out there was a

kid just standing on the road yeah yeah like just probably like six o'clock at night

just as it's getting dark you're probably walking home and very close to blowing him out

and so we don't cut that white line anymore do we nah definitely not I would say

you wouldn't cut many corners at all no oh my god that would absolutely scare the hell out of you Bailey thanks you call do we? Nah, definitely not. I would say you wouldn't cut many corners at all. No, oh my God, that would absolutely scare the hell out of you.

Bailey, thanks, you're cool. Frances, this was your dad that had a near miss. What happened? Yeah,

so when my dad was younger, he was driving into Wellington and a guy, a kid, actually dropped a brick off a bridge above him

and it hit the bottom of his car and yeah, a few seconds later it off a bridge above him. It hit the bottom of his car. And yeah, a few seconds later, it probably would have killed him. Oh my, if it hit the bottom of the car, not even a few seconds, if he was driving, probably like a split second later, it would have gone through the windscreen. Yeah. Did they ever find that little shit bag?

No, but he pulled over and tried to chase him. But he took off pretty quickly. Oh my God. He could have killed him. Yeah. A brick. I don't think the kid did it again though. No.

You'd hope not. That would scare the crap out of you. Oh my God. That's crazy. Frances, thanks. You call some messages. When my brother was back at high school, he almost got pulled into a machining lathe.

His sleeve got caught in the lathe. And like the second it started going in, some kid in another part of the class was like, what does this switch do? And flick the kill switch for all the machines. Just purely coincidental. Okay, that's some purely coincidental stuff, eh? Whoa. Yeah.

Oh, that gave me goosebumps, that one. Last year, me and my mates were heading to Blendham to drop a mate off who'd been staying over lockdown. We were approaching an intersection at the end of the road. The brakes failed, and we were flying into double lane traffic. We hit the front tire of a bus traveling at about 50 k's an hour, and it just spun and stopped us. So if we'd been just prior to that,

a little bit quicker, we would have got T-boned. Yeah. And if we'd been quicker than that, we would have gone in front of the bus and been hit by a logging truck that was going

significantly faster. Imagine your brakes just not working. Oh my God. How does that happen? Mmm. Freaky. That's crazy.

In an earthquake, my daughter got out before the earthquake. My daughter got out Before the earthquake My daughter got out of bed To go to the toilet The earthquake hit And her bed was covered In our house's brick wall

Wow If she hadn't taken a poo Yeah She could be dead That's crazy There's so many stories like that Yeah That time

Just that Just that little bit Of timing difference Alright Thanks for your messages Play ZM's Fphone and Megan. So the New Zealand government has announced

the rollout of vaccination certificates later in the year. They're used overseas and it seems likely that you're going to need one of these certificates to go to a large-scale event such as a music festival. I saw people on the news last night and they were like, why are you getting vaccinated today? They're like, oh, because I want to go to some music festivals and concerts. I was like, oh,

that's why. Wow, that's what it took. Wow, that's what it took. Not like your grandparents dying or whatever. But yeah, good to see whatever gets people vaccinated. That's what it takes. And it is looking like it will be mandatory. No announcements yet, but it is looking that way. Same as overseas.

You'll be using the passport to get into these events. So Live Nation and Equal Z Entertainment have launched Vaxx the Nation. So we thought, who better to talk to than someone in the music industry and someone who is also training to be a vaccinator? It's Gabe from Foley. Good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you?

Good. So are you training to be, or have you been giving them out already? Yeah, I'm still in my training at the moment. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I studied to be a paramedic way back in the day, so I thought, you know, what better way to sort of help people out than to start training and giving people the jab.

How do you – what's the training like? I've always wondered that. It's intense, isn't it? Like, what do you – do you? Do you practice on fake arms first? Or do you have to ask all your friends for a... Yeah, back in the day. No, no, no. Once you've done all the required training and the knowledge,

which, you know, it's a bit of study, then you go and actually do it under supervision to real people. But it's all safe and sort of under control at the vaccination centres themselves. So how long have you got until you can actually start giving out the vaccine? Probably a couple of weeks. Yeah.

Oh, wow. A bit of study, a bit of admin. Yeah. You know, it's a big process just to be able to sort of, you know, give out medicine essentially. But yeah, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Okay, I've got a question about training. Does it teach you any distraction techniques or any techniques for people?

Because there must be people out there that are kind of hesitant about it, only on the fact that they're so terrified of needles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they definitely do. It's one of my favourites. It's like tapping a little circle around where the needle's going to go in, and it kind of just sort of gives people a bit of sensation that distracts them away from it.

Or, you know, you can just tell them to look away or different things like that, you know, whatever gets them through. Fletch and Megan are rubbing circles. I mean, tapping. Tapping. Oh, yeah, because that's a bit sensual, isn't it? I know. It just makes me feel like...

They're giving themselves a little tickle. Yeah, just like, and now I'm tickling myself and it feels nice. You don't want to fall in love with your vaccinator, you know? No, no, no. So, Gabe, I mean, being in the music industry, and we know people in the music industry, people are doing it real tough out there because that's their lifeblood, isn't it?

They're their source of income. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's my source of income as well. But it's not just artists. It's the people who, you know, put on the festivals, the people who set up the stages, it's the people who set up the stages, the sound guys, the food truck vendors, like everyone

that is involved in putting on a live show is struggling right now. So that's kind of what we're doing this campaign for, is make sure that everyone can go back to work again and everyone can go to a show and everyone can sort of have fun and have that Kiwi summer again, you know? Yeah, and all the big names. So I saw Benny

had a statement, one of the Finns. Which one? Neil or Tim? Neil or Tim. It was Neil or Tim. Right. Yeah. Everybody's basically come out and said, yeah, let's do this. Even Super Groove. Even Super Groove? Even Super Groove. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they planning a comeback? Get a vaccination reminiscent of my man Mike Plato. Yes. Nice. All right. Well, yeah, I mean, if you, and I saw people as well mentioning, if you get your first vaccine the next week or two, you can get your second before Christmas.

So you can go home for Christmas and you can get to festivals. Yeah. And music as well, hopefully. Exactly. All right. Yeah, yeah. Thanks so, hopefully. See you later. All right. Yeah, yeah. Thanks so much, Gabe from Foley. No worries.

Thank you, guys. ZDM's Fletch, morning, Megan. Yesterday afternoon, I would have said about four o'clock. Okay. Just after four o'clock. I felt like drinking something. Okay. Liquid.

And I thought to myself, I can't get started on the whiskies yet. It's too early. Well, it's, and it was Thursday and. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. But then I was like, maybe it's too late for a coffee. I felt like yesterday I'd already had like eight coffees by this stage. Yeah.

So I was like, I'm going to break the mould here. Okay. And I'm going to try to do it Without bringing attention to the fact That I'm about to have a cup of tea Now I don't drink tea You never have Always do a shit for drinking tea Yeah

I do It's just Soggy cardboard or something Is that what you said? Huh? Is it cardboard or something? No you don't do yours right I think you're too milky

I have like a whoopsie Like I accidentally just like a bit of milk in. How long do you leave your bag in for? Oh, not long. I don't have time do I? She doesn't leave her bag in. She doesn't steep it properly. If you're going to make a cup of tea you've got to do it properly. There's no point drinking gumboot water. That's what I

probably have said because that's what my Nana said. So you've got to leave it in there. So I was like but I'm not a milk guy so I'm not having milk in the tea so I go. So I was like, and I'm not a milk guy, so I'm not having milk in the tea. So I go out and I boil the jug, and then Sade's in the kitchen, but she doesn't say anything. Yeah. And then I'm up looking through the part where the tea and the coffee is,

and I find the box I'm after, a red one. I don't know what brand. I'm not, you know. Bell? Tea spokes first, but I think it was a Bell. Sounds like a Bell or a Twinings, yeah. And it was one of those tea bags that's circular. I think that's, if I could just hop back to when they bought those out,

I think that's a bit of a marketing ploy. Didn't that help with the steeping, apparently? Yeah, the circulation, because it sat in the bottom of a round cup. Give me strength. So I popped the tea in, and then I put the water, I put a little bit of sort of room temperature water in the bottom, so I'll burn the tea and make it drinkable after the three minutes steeping.

And then pour the boiling water over it. Now you don't want to burn your tea, you don't want to singe your tea. Trust me, look I've been to Sri Lanka and done a tour of the Dilmar tea fields. You haven't. And then I go and sit down and I'm sitting there for a while and I'm watching it.

And then it's at that stage that Sade says, what are you drinking? And I said, it's a cup of tea. And she's like, you don't usually drink tea. I was like, nah. And then she said, is everything okay? That's how much me drinking tea is out of character. Out of character. Yeah, right.

Yeah, Sade was like, are you okay? And it was a genuine, are you okay? Right. Not like a, are you okay? Like, that sounds a little sarcastic. Yeah. Maybe rhetorical. But she was worried for your wealth here. Genuine concern. That's your cry for help is a cup of tea. A cup of tea? No, I was having a cup of tea and I was listening

to Weird Al Yankovic. Okay. Which I've, I did this the other day as well and I did it again yesterday because the first day I did it, it made me feel so good. It made me feel happy. Yeah. Because it's overwhelming time.

You can get like dragged down by the news and stuff. Yeah. Stop watching the press conference. I don't need that. I'll just take the basic number and then sometimes in the late afternoon

I'm getting tired and it feels like it's all a little overwhelming and I've found that my life jacket is Weird Al Yankovic. Who does parodies of famous songs. And here's why. Because my mind just wandered into Weird Al. Yeah.

And his first album came out in like 1983. Yep. Good lord. I know, he was really young. This was before I was born. I know. Me too. And he was really young when he did it.

And you know what? People probably thought, who's this dude with glasses and a moustache and curly hair and this weird music? And you know what? It didn't stop him. It kept going, didn't it? It kept going. He was having fun and he was making people laugh and he kept going and he's still active. He's still active all that time.

My entire lifetime. And he's never given up. Do you feel like the man's bringing you down or something? He's worth $20 million. I don't know. He's worth active all that time, my entire lifetime, and he's never given up. Do you feel like the man's bringing you down or something? He's worth $20 million. Yeah, I Googled that too. I was like, he's been at it for so long. Making kooky little songs. He sold more than 12 million albums.

And genuinely, the songs make me laugh. He does a cover of a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, but it's about the Flintstones. It's called Bedrock Anthem and it cracks me up. I've listened to it so many times lately. Do you want to hear it? Can I play a little bit?

Okay, hold on. Bedrock Anthem. It starts with one Chili Peppers song and then turns into the other. But I'm just going to play you the part where... That tickles you the most? Yeah. Okay. But I'm just going to play you the part where... That tickles you the most? Yeah. Okay.

But you famously hate parodies. This is like the original parody, guys. I feel like I own. Now I'll tell you why. What? This is the bit of the song. This is the bit of the Weird Al song that gets here every time. Have you lost your mind?

Maybe. Listen to this bit, though. Well, I got, I got a woman named Wilma. Well, I got, I got a baby named Pebbles. Well, I got, I got a dog named Dino. Oh, my God. You've lost your mind. I can see why.

Well, I got, I got a wife named Wilma. Well, I got, I got a baby named Pebbles. Well, I got, I got a dog named Dino. Like, that's good stuff. Wait, you've missed the chorus. Dabba dabba dabba doo now. Poo-poo always got to run the whole show. Dabba dabba dabba dabba doo now.

So you're sitting there, four o'clock on a Thursday afternoon, having a cup of tea. Losing my mind to Wendell. And today I'm buying a bonsai tree. Because I need calm in my life. Whatever it takes. I am falling to bits. Yeah. At least you recognise it, though.

I'm kind of like riding it, too. Like, I totally know that it's there. I'm just keeping an eye on it. Okay. Yeah. See, this is a reason we need to get vaccinated vaughn needs to get out no i don't need to get out i just need the world to not be so dreary you know what i'm saying so if i wanted to go out i know it would be a nice i don't want to

go out maybe right i want to go out i just want to turn on the news and see something that's not related, you know? Yeah. Oh, my God. What? This isn't... He's got so many great songs. Does he? So many great songs, and nothing will stop him. Welcome, everybody, to Friday Face Yoga. Namaste to you all. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste to you all.

Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. Good morning. What do we call you? Yogi? I'm a yogi. Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey. I'm a yogi. I'm an instructor. You can also call me Yogurt. Okay. Yogurt. Good morning, Yogurt. I'm Yogurt Porn.

Namaste. Namaste. Yogurt. Okay, Yogurt. Good morning, Yogurt. I'm Yogurt Vaughn. Namaste. Namaste. Yogurt Vaughn. That is how you will be known from now on. Yogurt. During Friday Face Yoga. All right, I hope everybody's ready now. Oh, no, don't do the creepy.

That's a creepy voice. I hope everybody's ready to just relax and wriggle out of this week we've been having. I don't know how to do a soft voice other than the creepy one. No, it was never that creepy. It was never that creepy. You've gone into a lower register. You've gone into a... Is it a bit breathy?

Yeah. Okay. Is that what I said about here? Yeah, that's good. That's good. Okay, everybody. That's yogurt. Let's now have a puzzled look.

Puzzled look on our face. One eyebrow. Yep. Try to do the other one. I can only do one. Same. Do the other one. Are those kids on that cabriolet?

Remember the eyebrow kids? Yeah, creepy. Huh? Maybe make a couple of noises, a bit of a, huh? Huh? What? Huh? Maybe make a couple of noises, a bit of a, huh? Huh? What? Huh? Because you've just been told about Auckland's three-stage plan to get out of COVID restrictions,

and you're like, but what? Kids can go back to kindy, but the teachers don't have to be vaccinated. Huh? I'm allowed to do, what am I allowed to do again? Take away sloping? Which takes us on to nicely into our next exercise. Squint. Like you're really, you know, and a little bit of a,

because you're trying to get the wheeze started at a backyard picnic. You've got a bit of stage fright. Because you're not allowed to go in and use the toilet. You're not allowed to go in and use the toilet. You've asked everybody to look the other way, but still. You know they're listening for the tinkle hitting the ground. Yeah. You're trying to do wheeze on the lemon tree.

Aim for the soft mulch at the base. That might muffle the sound of urine. Better than maybe the hard ground to the side. Yeah. And that urine, of course, will help the tree grow. I want everyone to imagine they're a lemon tree. Ooh, moist with urine. Okay.

Charming. Growing, producing delicious fruit. To be, I don't know, whatever you want to do with your lemons. Lemon meringue, boy, maybe. Next, I want you to lick your lips. Mmm. Maybe give it a bit of this.

Ooh. You're a prisoner imagining being bunked up with Brian Tamaki When he's put in prison For inciting A demonstration that breached health orders I'm gonna have me a little bit of that Where's your God now? Vaughan.

Yogurt. Sorry. Sorry, yogurt. All right, next. For our next exercise, I want you to swallow, blink, and squint as if for the first time. You're seeing the world not through a lens, but with your your own eyes because Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp aren't working and you've been forced to look out a window to see what's happening

and you don't like it at all. You don't like it. But look, you're getting your long focus back. You can see into the distance. Things are clearer and brighter. It's like the world itself is the best filter you could ever imagine. Oh no, it's back now, so

if you just put your focus back to right in front of you, maybe a foot in front of your face. That's good stuff. Hit me with that light. Hit me with that fake, fake light and those fake, fake people on Instagram. And finally, tongues out.

Lick things. What are you licking? Ice cream. Could be licking ice cream. Chocolate. Chocolate. You're licking your chocolate. Yeah.

Try something different. But we're NRL players and we've just won the grand final and we're out misbehaving. We're licking things. What are we licking? I don't know. NRL trophy. You sure? Other players' wives.

You lick whatever you want because you're in the Penrith Panthers and you just won the 2021 NRL title. That's all for today. Namaste. Namaste, Yoga. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste, yoga. Namaste. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan play ZM.

ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound Season 10. It's Season 10 of ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Currently the jackpot is $10,000. It's all thanks to Neon Watch, the TV series and movies everybody's talking about on Neon,

our favourite Kiwi streaming service. And each guest that gets on, even if they're wrong, this week gets a one-month Neon subscription. So, Simone, that's you. You've locked that in. Good morning. Good morning. Now, you are guessing on behalf of somebody. Yes, I am indeed. Yeah, I'm...

Sorry. I'm a bit excited. No, that's all right. Who are you taking this guess for? My 12-year-old daughter. She has done the research. She sat there. I mean, we're in lockdown, so, you know,

she's got a lot of extra time on her hands. And she has listened and she said, Mum, this is what it is. And I've been trying to call on her behalf. She's asleep at the moment. Oh, okay. And then I can wake her. Yeah, go wake her up.

Go wake her up. I've thrown a shoe at the ceiling to try and wake her in her room, but it's not happening. Oh, okay. I'll go by her ear and we'll wake her up. Okay, so if you win, if this guess is correct, will you get, will she get all the money? Well, she gets to decide what to do with it, yes.

All of it? Oh, my mum would. My mum would just be like, tough, I got through, I won. Yeah. Well, the thing is, she's a very sensible young lady, so I know that she's going to do it sensibly, and she'll be, yeah, she'll be very generous and very kind because that's just who she is, so.

Okay. All right, all right. Well, Soundkeeper Owls joins us. Good morning. This is so cute. Good morning. Right, well, let's have another listen to the secret sound. Okay.

For $10,000 for your 12-year-old daughter, Simone, what does she think it is? Okay, she thinks it's the pulling of the tab on the coffee grinder to release the coffee grounds. So when you pull the coffee grinds to go into the little coffee holder thing. Oh, right. Okay. We've had a few coffee guesses as well, but that's different. Yes.

So she's going with that. I like it. Well, is a 12-year-old going to become 10K rich? I know, right? That's a headline. Is a 12-year-old going to become 10K rich? Goodness. I know, right? That's a headline. Look, I'm going to have to say that isn't the secret sound, Simone. Simone, go wake her up.

Let's tell her she's lost. Oh, no, don't do that. And say, get back to the drawing board. Tasman. Just pass the phone over to her. Yeah. What's your name? Okay, hang on. Tasman.

Tasman. Tasman, yeah. Tasman, like the sea. Like the sea. Like the sea. Yeah, like the sea. Come here. Tasman.

Someone's on the phone. Sorry. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning, Tasman. Tasman is the New Zealand police. It's Bleach Morning, Megan, from ZDM. How are you, Tasman? Good morning. Good morning, Tasman. Tasman is the New Zealand police. It's Bleach Morning, Megan, from ZM. How are you, Tasman?

Good morning. I'm good, hi. Now, we've got soundkeeper Al's here. Your mum's managed to get through and she's got some bad news. Oh, I'm sorry, Tasman. Your guess is not correct, but please keep guessing, calling through. Thank you for your service. I feel so bad.

Yeah, you should. Yeah, Fletcher's like, well, tell her, and then makes you do it. Yeah. Sorry, Tasman. Sorry, Tasman, but mum does have a one month. She's gone back to bed. Oh, she's gone. I like that she didn't stick around.

She's like, no, I've lost. Well, screw them. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done. All right, well, there you lost. Well, screw them. Yeah, I'm done. All right, well, there you go. You've got a one-month Neon subscription, and there is another chance as well coming up with Georgia. 11 o'clock, the next shot.

Why don't you give me a clue? Oh, okay, no, wait. We've got a clue. Do we have a clue now? Not now, but at 5 p.m. to end our Friday, I'll be doing a clue with Brian Clint. Oh, okay, so you can mull over that over the weekend. That clue, 5 o'clock. Friday Flashback.

But it is a Friday tradition. It's Megan's turn this week to pick a song that has to be at least 10 years old and it has to be a banger. Well, if you're feeling a bit slow on your Friday, this is going to really get you going. A bit of dubstep. This is from 2011. It's a British dubstep trio.

Now, this song, when it was remixed with Skrillex, was actually won a Grammy Award. Did it? Yeah. It was number one in the UK. It wasn't number one in New Zealand, but you'll know it. This was, I listened to this whole album when I was a roller derby player. Do you remember that time in Megan's last year as a roller derby player?

Very well. It was two years. And this was massive in the roller derby community. What was your roller derby name again? Chloe Carbashian. That's right. You had it on your helmet. I even went along to one of those, didn't I?

You did. Yeah, you were dragged kicking and screaming to the YMCA, as I recall. Hated it. Every minute of it. And then they just went round and round and round. There was a lot of bashing in between. There was a lot of bashing.

It was quite aggressive. The best story out of the roller derby days was the Hamilton weekend. Okay. Okay. It's quite aggressive. The best story out of the roller derby days was the Hamilton weekend. Okay. Your Friday flashback. You're such a bitch. Are you not telling us about this? What do you think? Friday flashback today from 2011.

Vaughn looks naughty because he knows he's getting in trouble. Nero promises. Oh, my God. I didn't know this was a song I forgot Never a good sign when someone says I forgot this was a song It's your Friday flashback On to them

You got me so wild How can I ever deny You got me so high So high I can't feel the fire And you keep telling me Telling me that you'll be sweet And you never wanna leave my side As long as I don't break these

Promises And it's still there I'm still wasting it on myself Promises And it's still there I'm still wasting it on myself Promises And it's still there I'm still wasting it on myself Outro Music You got me so wild

Why should I be so surprised? You got me so high Don't you see it in my eyes? And you keep telling me Telling me that you'll be sweet And you'll never wanna leave my side As long as I don't break these Promises

And it's still there I'm still wasting it on myself Promises And it's still there I'm still wasting it on myself Promises On my self They are so wasted on myself Permissive Narrow Promises Friday Flashback on ZM, 12 minutes past 8. I'm awake. Are you awake? That song is 10 years old, and it's also four minutes. And songs these days are never four minutes.

None of us utilize that to go to the bathroom. None of us. Skrillex recently sold, Skrillex was in that song, right? I just assumed every song that sounds like that was Skrillex. Oh, right,

so Skrillex wasn't in that version. No. Oh, okay, because Skrillex just sold a modern Malibu beach house for $17.5 million US dollars. So I was like, what's Skrillex up to these days?

He's doing all right. He's flipping real estate, baby. Yeah, okay, feedback. Banger. That's got three A's and all in capitals. That's a banger. Three flames is another message. That's how you wake up in the morning.

Yeah, nah. Oh, okay. And I'm with Vaughan, Is This a Song? Now, I knew it was a song, I'd just forgotten it was a song, but I was just very much reminded that that was a song.

I think, yeah, good pick. It gets hard when you get to the end of the year because you've used all the good ones that are 10 years old. Yeah, yeah. It gets harder. 10 years old. Vaughan Smith.

Megan. You mentioned something earlier in the show about taking the rubbish out to impress your wife because you told her last night she should do it. Talked. I gave a tip. I gave an insider tip. Because you were talking about people playing dumb to get out of doing household chores or just making themselves

such a chore to get to do chores that the other person just ends up doing chores. And I said, no, the real trick is when you get asked to do something, like my example was take the rubbish bin out this morning. I was asked last night. I said, no, you'll have plenty of time to do that in the morning. Saying no to the task put me in the negatives. Yeah.

But then I always had the intention to take the bin out. So then I took the bin out. So then this morning, Sade will notice that the bin has taken out and I will have gone from negative to higher positive ratings than I would have been otherwise. Thus the gap between the feeling she had about the bin situation to

the feeling she has about the bin situation now, far greater brownie points differential than if I'd just done it, I would have been taken for granted. And you've engineered this whole it, I would have been taken for granted. And you've engineered this whole thing. I do it all the time. It's a secret.

And it may be the secret to the longevity of our marriage. Okay. Now, I said you watch what happens this morning when she sticks her head out the door to take the bin out. Maybe even hears the truck rumbling down the road. And is like, shit, I'm going to have to run with the bins. And notices that the bin is already at the gate. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the message I received at 8.01am. Bertie took the bins out.

Heart eyes, heart eyes, heart eyes. That makes me feel so yuck. So what you've just witnessed is the full execution of my plan. Denial of service. Negative feelings. Service achieved. It's a classic under promise, over deliver, basically. It really is.

And now I'm bathing in brownie points heading into the weekend. Don't. I might get to see some boobs this weekend. Probably not now that I've said that. I think I've done it. I think I've done it. What you've just witnessed is self-sabotage Ladies and gentlemen I put myself in further arrears

Of brownie points than I was in last night When I denied taking That I would take the bins out Can he work his way back up? Oh you betcha Stop deflecting from the fact that We got a new nickname in that wee message What is Bertie?

I can't believe you've known me. What is Bertie? I know that she calls you Bertie sometimes. Yeah. I've known that. That's so weird. It was Vaughan and Vaughan got turned to Vern. And Vern went to Burn and Burn went to Bertie.

And you've always called Shardo Sharts. Sharts McGee. Sharts McGee. Sharts McGee is a great name to Bertie. And you've always called Sade Sharts. Sharts McGee. Sharts McGee. Sharts McGee is a great name. Bertie. Yeah, if I search Bertie in our conversation, it's where she wants something or if she's happy. Board and Sade have overtaken me and Andrew

as the grossest couple on the show now. No, you guys still win that. Bertie, can you bring me my charger? See if she wants something from me there. Bertie's a fixer. I don't know. You must have fixed something there. I have all my faith in you, Bertie.

Good morning to you, Bertie Smythe. That one's there. Bertie Smythe. Yeah. You're a good man, Bertie. You're not allowed to take the piss out of us anymore. This is not fair. You two are just as gross.

This one sounds like Bertie needs a cuddle. That's on that one. Yes. Good stuff. Bertie, answer your phone. Okay. So this is nice. It's always good stuff.

Right. Well, I think you guys take the cake. It's the grossest. Ours is just Swirly, Barman, Meggie Wheeze. Oh, that's gross. Meggie Wheeze. That's worse. Meggie Wheeze.

Oh, because your middle name's Louise. Louise, yeah. See, that needs explanation. People think there's been some incident where you've weed your pants or something. I would like to know this morning if there is a cutesy nickname that you don't use in public. Not the babes. With you and your partner. And the babies and stuff.

The ones that you use on your text messages when you want something. Do you think people are going to admit to this though? Like are they going to want to share their swirly-whirlies and birdie bees? Where's pants? Do you need one? Do we need to make one up for you? Absolutely not. Have you ever been called anything cute?

See? He was Little Spoon. I don't have time. No, I was Big Big Spoon. He was Little Spoon. That's right. I'm always the Big Big Spoon. No, you're Little Spoon.

Little Spoon. All right. We're talking about gross nicknames that you have for your partner that you wouldn't use in public. It's not the babes and the sweethearts and stuff. Yeah, and they're not gross to you. They're just gross to the rest of us. To you, use them in public. It's not the babes and the sweethearts and stuff. And they're not gross to you. They're just gross to the rest of us.

To you, they're very cute. Yeah. Like Vaughn gets called Bertie. Aren't they Bertie? Yeah, they are. It's like, let's pursue Bertie

and Meggie Weez. God, it sounds like an Australian radio station. It does, yeah. Hey, good morning. You're listening to What Are You?

Let's pursue Bertie and the Weezer. Noie and the Weezer. No, not the Weezer. And across the southern coast. Bane, good morning. What's your cutesy nickname? Hey, guys. So my cutesy nickname for my panda is I call him Trouble.

Yep. And his cutesy nickname for me is Snuggle Buzzing. Snuggle B for me is Snuggle Buzzing. Snuggle Buzzing. Snuggle Buzzing. Do you ever use these in public in front of other people? Oh, no, never, mate, no. No way, mate. No.

Yeah, I should know. Bloody hell, no way. I love it. All right, Bain thinks you're cool. Gemma, what's your cutesy nickname? So I call him Man Child or Man Pet. Man Pet. Man Pet sounds like you put a leash on him at the weekends, doesn't it?

He's a submissive. Yeah. Well, he wouldn't let me have a puppy, so I have to clean up after him just like I would a puppy, so Man Pet was perfect. He's a man pet. So it's kind of a nickname as a punishment more than that it's cute. Well, I think it's cute.

It's kind of cute. Yeah, true. All right, Gemma, thanks. You call some messages in, so many. Mine is Chicken Licking. My partner started to say it in public once, and I just made a really loud noise to mask it, and I said, it can't be seen.

Yeah. Chicken. No, what? Hey. My boy calls me his little piranha. I'm Scottish and think I sound a bit grumpy sometimes. So it's like I sound like

what a piranha would sound like. But a Scottish piranha. I'd always imagine a piranha had a Portuguese twang, given that they live in the Amazon. Right. Yeah, right, maybe. My mum used to call my dad Charlesworth Sausage.

No idea why, and now that I'm older, I don't ever want to know why. Yeah, we can imagine. I don't should bring that Charlesworth Sausage to me. He calls me Bum Bum and I call him Hef. Hef. Me and my boyfriend are Trouble and Chickie. Oh, yeah, okay. He's the rubber duck to my Ernie.

So rubber duck became lubber duck. Lubber duck. So now I call him lubber duck. Oh, my God. Nothing too gushy. His name's Nick. I just call him Nick N Duck. Nothing too gushy. His name's Nick. I just call him Nick Nicks and he calls me Washell. Nick Nicks and Washell.

Nick Nicks and Washell. That's pretty cute. That is pretty cute actually. Poopies and Chucky. Between you and I, I call my partner Daddy. Okay. Wow, okay. Teddy Conda. Teddy Conda.

Teddy Conda. Teddy Conda. Okay. Teddy there because they're looking cuddly and a Conda because. They love the Amazon. I've got a massive wang. Okay. Well, I reckon it's because I've got a massive, huge wang.

Good for them. Oh, thanks. Oh, you're right. Did that sound sad? Yeah No, no, no It sounds like you've seen it I was genuinely stoked Oh, you're right

Okay, good Yeah But yeah Earthworm Vaughn Always hanging out on a concrete paper Yeah After some rain It just kind of slugs out on the pavement

That looks a bit dry Is that all right? Better put that away before the sun comes out. Birds are pecking at it. Great for the compost bin. My ex, I call my ex Squishy Bear. Now that I think back on it, I'm like. I don't think about what you call your exes.

That's yuck. My girlfriend is a silver spoon baboon. Oh, okay. Silver spoon baboon. And I'm Oily Pete. Oily Pete. Oily Pete. Sounds like a rugby nickname.

Yeah. Bloody Oily Pete, eh? Sounds like he needs a shower as well. That's good stuff. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Oh, yeah, baby. I found this fact last night.

I was like, this is going to get, oh, the millennials are going to be flooding in. The Xennials are going to be pushing the Gen Zs out of the way. Let me listen to the radio. They'll be yelling. Yeah. Okay. God, you need a weekend. Gather round. Gather round. Gen Z is quick. Yeah. Okay. God, you need a weekend.

Gather round. Gather round, Gen Z. It is quick. He's going to say something about houseplants. Is this because you've got onto your bonsai? This was before bonsai. Because you're in the market. Literally, bonsai obsession is hours old. Yeah, right.

But you know me, I'm all on nothing when it comes to obsessions. Is it true, though, with bonsais that you're not allowed to buy them yourself? Yeah, I just told you that before we went on air. But I'm doing that thing where I'm redoing that conversation for on air. But I was here. I was the one that told you that you're not supposed to buy yourself a bonsai tree. But you're meant to play along and be like, oh, is that true? Gotcha, gotcha.

Okay, let's start again. Let's go again. Let's start again. Hold on, hold on. I'm going to do that. like, oh, is that true? Gotcha, gotcha. Let's start again. Let's go again. Let's start again. Hold on, hold on. Go right back. I'm going to do that now. They're all charging towards the radio. They're like, get out of the way.

He's talking about houseplants. Now, is this because you're looking at getting a bonsai? Oh, bonsai is only hours old. The obsession with bonsai is only, but you know me, I'm all or nothing. Megan, excuse me. You're rewound but you know me, I'm all or nothing. Megan, excuse me. I'm sorry. You rewound too far in the show. No, I'm going right back. It was a tape. It's hard to know how far. It's not a CD. You can't just

go back to the start of the song. You've just got to hold down and rewind and just guess when the song started. Now, is it true? Is it a thing that you're not meant to buy a bonsai for yourself because it's bad luck? What? What? Like the tradition of buying oneself Purnamu. Yeah, apparently it is bad luck.

You should really look into this. Is this just the first bonsai or all bonsais here? I don't know. Sorry. Wow. Okay. Can you buy me a bonsai tree then? Fascinating. I'll buy you something of the equivalent. I'll give you some money and then you buy me a bonsai.

Okay, but then technically you bought it. No, I don't know. Is it a bonsai god that overseeds the loopholes? Yeah. And then it'll slowly make your plants die. I think that's what's happening to me anyway. Did you buy yourself a bonsai once? I bought all my plants.

Fool. You're a damn fool. Okay. Well, this would probably work on bonsais as well. I'm so glad that's over. You're looking to get a bonsai, aren't you? Hours old.

Hours old, this obsession with bonsais. Is it true that you need to be given a bonsai? Jared's plant guy doesn't have any bonsais. A-T-M. So if anybody's got a hot spot to pick up a bonsai, let me know. Preferably ASAP because otherwise my obsession might fade and then I will never have wasted money on something

that I will not care about. It's always important when you get obsessed with something to go financially deep end A as soon as possible. Absolutely. As soon as possible because if your obsession fades, you might actually do something sensible with that money. And that sounds like a terrible idea. Does the fact of the day bonsai related?

It's plant related. Okay. In 2002, a study conducted at the Colorado University in Boulder found that carbonated water makes plants grow faster and makes green plants grow greener. I've always wondered about that because, you know, sometimes you'll have the SodaStream bottle just on the bench and it's gone warm and I'm like,

I could just either tip this down the drain or could I put it in a plant? And then I'm like, nah, surely not. But I've never Googled that. It's good. You shouldn't overwater it because that obviously leads to soggy roots and rot and disease and that sort of stuff. And I didn't know this, but too much water can also deplete the soil's oxygen. Oh, right.

Okay. Because the roots need oxygen. So that's why you like aerate things and you get more oxygen out of the roots and things thrive. I just watched a guy before repotting a bonsai and he put some like breathing holes in it and then put the stones over the tops of the hole. You can't see the hole, but the air can still get down into there. So sparkling water can contain dissolved nutrients that are easily absorbed by the plant's root system

thanks to the bubbles. Nutrients in sparkling water may include, but are not limited to, SodaStream Flavor. That's another... If you're going to do this with a SodaStream... Yeah. Or a Flat Fizzy. Yeah, don't do it with like a Sprite

No Or don't do it post adding flavour Just soda water It can help the roots absorb magnesium, calcium, carbon Hydrogen, oxygen, sodium, sulphur Phosphorus and potassium All things that plants like Huh

Fascinating. Now, this isn't like that fact of the day that you told us and everyone was nipping off their roots and killing their plants. Come on, Steris. That wasn't a fact of the day. That was just plant chat. I was trying to relate to Karwin, the youngest member of our team. We're separated by a generation.

So whenever I want to talk to her, I talk about Takashi 6'9", or houseplants. I think you her I talk about Takashi 69 Or houseplants I think you missed the boat with Takashi Yeah Yeah that's not the right way But I know we all don't like that guy What a snitch Good song though

So And so I told you You killed her plants Did it kill it? She's not doing the best, I must say. Okay, so Monstera's put out these, they've got two types of roots, air roots and water roots. And you've got to be able to identify that it's a water root

that it's shooting out, and you put it in a little tub and it'll shoot some more leaves out. But if you put an air root in there, which is just what it sends out for stability to try to hold on to things and grow and be more stable, that can add some rock. So you've got to be able to tell the difference, which I learned after the fact. That you told everybody.

Yeah, that I told people that. So let the sparkling water get to room temperature as well. So it kind of replicates the natural temperature of rainwater during the growing season. So don't use freezing cold. Don't use hot.

Okay. Use a nice room temperature water if you're going to do it. So today's fact of the day is if you water houseplants with sparkling water, again, completely unflavored, it can make plants grow faster and green plants grow greener. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There is a dairy in Invercargill that sells bonsai. And they're like $20 at the moment. Now, I can't get to that, but if you would like to join me on this bonsai craze that

I've decided to go into the deep end of, I don't know what dairy and invocable, but go on there and try every dairy. Ding dong. Are you the dairy that sells bonsai trees? No? Next dairy. What is happening? I don't know.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. A British relationship expert, Tracy. We've spoken about Tracy before, Tracy Cox. Okay. She has said there are seven signs you have learnt bad love lessons from your mum and dad. Right. So, it's not just to do with like you've had a bad relationship in the past. It's about things you're doing now and a good relationship

that you might have learned bad habits from your parents. So first of all, you have a problem with jealousy. So she said in the first, in the whole 40 years that she's been writing about relationships, she's even met a jealous person whose parents were happily married with no hint of cheating or affairs.

So your parents didn't have a good relationship. You're more likely to be jealous. A jealous type. You find it hard to receive and show affection. So apparently if you grow up with touchy-feely parents who are constantly kissing and hugging and showing affection, you'll grow into an adult

who finds it easy to show people how much you love them. So if your parents don't they're not touchy-feely, they don't talk about their feelings much, you're more likely to be like that as well. You were not allowed to, I didn't know.

And you don't have a big smoochies on the couch in front of the girls? This doesn't relate to me. Oh, no, no, we do it now. This is the game we play. I'll be in the kitchen and I'll say,

there she is. The girls are in the lounge. Shade and I are in the kitchen and I'll be like, there she is and we'll be like, mwah is. And we'll be like. And August will just come steam training in and like wedge us out between us and then go.

And push us apart. So it's just a game. That'd be fun to play. But yeah, my parents would touch you. We can play it now if you want. Me and you could start smirching. Me and you could try to pull us apart. If you just want to kiss, just ask.

I need to make an elaborate game. You know what? That's the thrill of the hunt that I like, though. You're likely to marry your mum or your dad. What? If your dad's really attractive, maybe you're into good-looking men. If he's less attractive but, like, good personality,

you're more likely to fall into that category. What if your dad's dumb personality is an uggo? That's what you're attracted to. Right. Yeah, and bad sex life you can put down to your parents as well. So the way they touch each other or kiss or something will teach you how to interact with your... Have you just done a little vomit?

A little vomit mouth. But yeah, I guess if your parents aren't very open with the sex chats and stuff like that. But then, so how can you fix that? Just go to therapy. Go to some counselling. Yeah, and charge it back to your parents. Seems only fair. Send them the bill.

Get it on Neon. Fresh born and Megan's top picks. And Neon are sponsoring the latest season of Secret Sound. Your next chance at 11 o'clock this morning with Georgia to get through and win that cash. $10,000 the current jackpot. But we have a chance for you to win a 12-month Neon subscription. It's super easy.

You just text the word top for our top picks that we're about to give you to 9696 and you're in the draw to win that 12-month Neon subscription. It's super easy. You just text the word top for our top picks that we're about to give you to 9696 and you're in the draw to win that 12 month Neon subscription. If you don't have Neon you can sign up for a 14 day free trial

at neontv.co.nz T's and C's apply and you can watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. There is so much great stuff on there.

There's an insane amount of school holidays at the moment, and you might be like, it feels like we've been in a constant school holidays with homeschooling if you're in Auckland or level three, but it's got so much kid stuff. All the Nickelodeon stuff's on there. Like my kids have been watching Hendry Danger

for the 5,000th time. But that's not your neon pic for the weekend. Oh, yeah, no, Peppa Pig's my neon pic. Every Peppa Pig episode is also on there that we're watching. No, my pick is Curb Your Enthusiasm. Seasons 1 through 10 because season 11 comes out this month. Yeah, it is weeks away. Yeah.

It's so funny. It's so good. He's the guy that, for those that don't know, co-created Seinfeld. George Costanza characters based on him. And yeah, Seinfeld characters pop up. It's like, oh,

heaps of famous people pop up throughout the series. If you've never seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, but how would you even, what would you compare it to? British Office, Seinfeld. Yeah, it's really kind of its own thing. It's just hilarious.

Watch that before that new season comes out. And mine is along the same lines as well. Succession, which is out on Neon on the 18th of October. That's my pick. If you haven't seen that, you've got time to catch up. You've got like 10 days to watch two seasons. And you'll be able to do it. I think that's what Chris Warner, Michael Galvin,

was watching in lockdown. I remember reading that he was a big Succession fan. So many people are. I only watched it after, I think I started watching it at the end of the second season, so I started watching one and crammed all through. It's an amazing show. So it's based on this family in New York,

the Logan family who control the biggest media and entertainment company in the world. So kind of like Fox, like the Murdochs. And it's wild. And so that new season is out on the 18th of October. So get in and watch that. That's my pick for this weekend. My pick, you might have heard us talk about this before, the flight

attendant. So it's Kaylee Cuoco. Kaylee Cuoco. She is a boozy flight attendant. She it's Kaylee Cuoco. Kaylee Cuoco. She is a boozy flight attendant. She hooks up with... Aren't we all? I mean, weren't we all? She hooks up with like a first class passenger and it doesn't go well.

Hello and welcome aboard Imperial Atlantic Flight 407. Thank you for your attention as we review the safety features of this aircraft. The most important being, Imperial Atlantic cannot be held responsible should a passenger be brutally murdered So yeah, she hooks up with this first class passenger and wakes up the next morning and he is doomed. It is a great show. I love that.

Definitely left it open for the second season, although who knows if she's even still got a job after COVID. Maybe that could be the second season. An international train. Just her sitting at home because she's lost her job. Can we give a special shout out too to Free Guy because we've all seen Free Guy. The movie is coming to NIO on October 24th as well

There you go, loads to watch Our top picks for the weekend Band of Brothers is on there, someone's just messaged in saying they've just finished their fifth watching of Band of Brothers That is like incredible, that miniseries It was coming up 20 years It is 20 years ago

They carried on filming after Saving Private Ryan. Yep. Because they used all the same, like, uniforms and tanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had all that stuff. They're like, we better not just let this go to waste.