ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 9th December 2021

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Tiniest Camera  Yummy Yummy: Caramilk McFlurry  Top 6: Divorce  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Community Notices  Vaughans Dinner  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hey! ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. Now I just, I received a message saying that I had a courier parcel. Oh! So I went to the mail room just before and who should I run into?

But someone we never see on the commoners ground floor level. Not his royal highness. Mike Hosking. Oh my god. In the commoners' ground floor level. Not his Royal Highness. Mike Hosking. Oh, my gosh. In the prize cupboard. Oh, my gosh. So I don't know if he was there for his Katie. The mailroom.

For my Katie. Yeah, the mailroom. Well, because she leaves before the mailroom opens. So he might have been picking something up for my Katie. He was on the phone to his Katie, I think, saying, I can't see it, there's nothing here. And then he looked, he was very um very terse and he was wanting whatever was in the mail room and i was like oh i'm just looking for my package right let's get out of here

yeah that's because i um i bought in an excess amount of rubbish that i had at home to dump in the company's bins today look at the whole room full of bins i'm like i don't feel like these have been utilized but all people are here we're still paying to have the bins removed i might as well bring in my rubbish to fill it up yeah i don't know if that's how it works but okay i'm pretty sure okay i haven't read otherwise and did you run i saw his range i saw his range rover two-toned range rover all right ugly oh okay right well and i'm pretty sure i saw katie's car at the other end of things right she's driving some flash situation as well of course course, of course. Well, anyway, so I backed into them. Both.

In the Honda record. The Honda, which only has to get a warrant. It only needs one more warrant before my Jimny arrives. You need new tires, though, don't you? I may need new tires. I think when I hit that tree that time, the wheel alignment went out. Yeah, that'll also stop you getting a warrant, too, if the wheels are wobbly.

Yeah. Well, anyway, something I ordered online. I actually got into a deep, dark internet forum the other day. I should rephrase that. I went down a hole on an internet forum. Okay, now you belong to QAnon. Is that your member package? Yes, it's my member package. Oh, no, that's the thing that's going to suck the vaccine out of you.

Because you've been vaccinated, and now you want it out. I've changed my mind and I'm wanting my body's natural immunity. Of course. To help. Which is exactly what the vaccine does anyway. No, that's not that. I actually wanted to know what the best cat brush was for your cat. Okay.

Do you know there's different types of brushes? Very familiar with it. Because I use a Furminator. And it's a real thick... for a short-haired cat. Apparently, these internet forums were like, you don't use them all the time because they can damage your cat's ear. Because there's an upper layer. Do you know there's two layers? Yes.

There's a bottom layer and a top layer. And I'm taking too much from the layer, the top layer. Gotcha. Did you know that? Retrievers, because we've got Richie, they've got two coats. Right. Because Ralph, in summer, we just get him shaved so he can be not overheating. But apparently, retrievers will lose their own hair,

and then there's these brushes for it as well. Well, yeah, and I didn't know that there were two layers because he'd always look a bit, not patchy in summer. That's what you're right. You're right. It wasn't even. You've got a manky puss. And I was like, my puss is a bit manky. So I was like, I don't want it to look manky.

I want it to look nice. Everybody wants their puss to look the best it possibly can be. 100%. Everybody wants, everybody else, when you see somebody, when someone sees your puss, you want positive feedback. Exactly. You don't want someone saying, oh my God, did you see Fletcher's puss?

It's manky as fuck He's got a manky puss Imagine it Because he's been brushing it too hard Yeah so look I've got this one What in fuck's name is that A slicker brush

And apparently And I'm only just opening this now It's got this thing here Look they come out The things Fascinating And what do you select The height

No it's just in and out So when you go out It pops the hair off That's a great idea It's very wiry And so I'm going to put that on puss later Right So the little needles that are part of the brush

They retract back into the brush And that's where the hair drops off Fantastic So the brush you had before was longer than that Could I try it on your beard? My beard's very short at the moment Yeah it is Try it on my moustache Okay I'll try it on your beard? My beard's very short at the moment Yeah it is Try it on my moustache

Okay I'll try it on your moustache I'll come on over Now you tell me if it hurts Because I don't want to hurt puss later Oh no it just gave me a fright It didn't hurt It didn't hurt It just gave me a fright

Okay nothing came out I'll do it again Ready? Is that good? Yeah but I'm not molting My moustache doesn't molt I know you're not molting I just wanted to see, did it hurt you?

No, it didn't hurt. Okay, that's good because I don't want to hurt myself. No, there was no scratch aspect to it. So this is an AliExpress ripoff of something that's very expensive that everyone on the cat forum was raving about. Yeah, how's your English on the back of that package? A slicker cleaning brush. I always find you can tell which ones are the fake ones

because they've got some, you know. Grooms and massages for a healthy coat increases blood circulation. Now, this is all good. It's all good England so far. Okay, so now pass it to me. Oh, hang on. Here we go. Warning.

Please keep the grooming tool away from fire and high temperature. Yeah, it'll melt because it's plastic. Okay, so see, this looks like the grooming tool package it came in. Yep. Lose the back. What does it look like? It looks like a cock and balls. That looks like I bought a giant fucking d in Yep Lose the back Oh that looks like What does it look It looks like a cock and balls

That looks like I bought A giant fucking dildo Doesn't it He's bought a cock and balls Oh Well isn't my Isn't my puss in for a treat later It straight up looks like

Like a weird Sex thing But it's the brush. I mean, knowing that the brush came out of the cup. Yeah, yeah. What's the brush and what's not? And that's the little button there. Yeah.

That's the spot. We should almost put a photo up of that on the Instagram, on the podcast fan. Saying, guess what this is, and then listen to the podcast today to find out. Do that now. Do that now. Yeah, I'm going to do that now.

I'm going to do that now. I'm going to do that now. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleetspawn and Megan getting in a tangle there with your headphones as per. I need a new headphone bag. Oh, right, yeah. The little drawstrings get all tangled up in the curly cord. I don't know where you get headphone bags from.

AliExpress? It's not a bad suggestion. Yeah. It just feels kind of like the carbon footprint on that bag is going to be monstrous by the time it gets here. I've got a cat brush coming from AliExpress. It should be here any day. You are a huge fan of an AliExpress purchase.

Love an AliExpress purchase. I mean, I feel like this could be fixed with a sewing machine. It's always just all the things come undone. Take it to one of those places. Those alterations. Yeah, I always go and take my jeans there once a year to get the gooch fixed. Because that blows out of green. What do they do to fix the gooch?

So they put some material on and they just sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew. Does it make the gooch too stiff? Not after a while. It gets back to its norm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Denim moves. Yeah. Okay.

You don't wear jeans that much. How are you blowing the gooch out? You're not an everyday jeans guy. Oh, I don't know. It's acidic gooch syndrome, isn't it? It's acidic gooch. Oh, don't look at me like that. Executive Intern, I need a tip.

It's a thing. AGS. AGS. It's a set of Gooch sufferers. AGS. AGS. A set of Gooch syndrome everywhere. Well, you've blown out some Goochers. Yeah, but I wear the jeans all the time. Yeah. And I'll also ask a lot of my jeans.

I'll do a lunge in the jeans. Right. A big step up onto things. Work on the farm let. Yeah, I really, you know, put the Gooch to the test. Yeah. The Gooch, the crotch of the pants. Not my

Gooch. Hardly touched at all. Wouldn't know a hard day's work. What are you looking at me like that for? On the show today, the 12 days of Fletchmas. Again, your chance to win. Just got to register. Send him online. Tell us if you're on the naughty or the nice list.

And we could be calling you back this morning and hearing your naughty or nice reason. And I'll choose one to win. So ZM Online to register. The top six is on the way. That's right. The more expensive the wedding, the more likely it is to end in divorce.

How's that? Wow. So I've got the top six. Other signs that the marriage you are celebrating is doomed. Next on the show, though, there's been some leaps and bounds in science. The world's smallest something. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. The world's smallest camera.

That's what we were talking about when we said leaps and bounds. I don't know how it works. It's what is described as an ultra compact camera, the size of a coarse grain of salt. So not like Sarah Boss salt, the boy chasing the chicken salt. Wait, like a

Himalayan that I've... Like a Himalayan, like a coarse... Wait, has that gone through the grinder? Maybe on a thick grind. Does your grinder have settings? Do you see your grinder have settings? Do you remember when we talked about how before Peugeot made cars, they were the go-to posh brand for salt and pepper grinders? Yeah, they were.

And somebody sent me a Peugeot salt and pepper grinder. Is it legit? The salt one stopped salting. I don't know. Maybe Peugeots were never made to grind the Himalayan. Yeah, but do you know what gets your grinder clogged up is when you do it over like a hot, boiling... It's not clogged up.

It's an actual blade grinder. I took it all apart, cleaned it out. Of course you did. I felt like I was in one of those Facebook videos that you watch for like 25 minutes, an old restoration of something, but all I did was take it apart and blow it. And it is working a little bit better, but I feel like I could sharpen the grind somehow.

So, a tiny grain... I'm just talking about salt. If I could just have one more moment on salt. Because, have you had kosher salt? No, but I've seen... Or maybe. It's the salt. Is it?

I don't muck around with any other salts anymore. Is that the one that restaurants sometimes have in a little ramekin and you have a pinch of it? It's like a flatter, flakier salt. Yeah, I have had that. And it's great for like cooking, barbecuing and stuff because it almost sort of melts. Oh, yeah. That's great salt. That's what you need.

Those salt level, that salt intake up. Yeah. That's what you need. Yeah. So a camera the size of a grain of salt. Of a thick grain of salt. A coarse grain of salt. That is wild.

How does that even work slash like charge itself? It doesn't work like a traditional camera. It can take crisp full-color pictures just as well as conventional cameras, which are 500,000 times bigger. It's more of a medical... It's going to be used for medical photography, so you can just get it inside you. That's going to be smaller than anything you attach to get the camera into your body, right?

Or are they just going to let it flow into you? That's what happens. So traditional cameras use several curved glass or plastic lenses to bend light rays into focus, but this new device uses a meta-surface, which developers can make just like a computer chip. That's wild.

So it works differently to a traditional camera. See, that's interesting, because my first thought when you read that out is, oh, the pervs are going to be all over the place with these cameras. They'll be in your bloody salt and pepper shaker. They'll be in your digestive tract. You could put a camera anywhere.

You wouldn't know it's there. Yeah. Upskirts aren't going to be the problem. It's going to be down throats. They're going to be getting photos of everything. Yeah, I don't know if... Ever wondered what your penis looks like from the inside? I don't know if that's...

We can pop a salt grain up there and get a crystal clear picture. I don't know if that's attractive to your penis looks like from the inside? I don't know if that's... We can pop a salt grain up there and get a crystal clear picture. I don't know if that's attractive to pervs, to be honest. The insides of your body. Everybody's got... You know, there's something out there for everybody. There's a kink out there. So it's tiny. It's teeny tiny.

And it even... Because this would have been great for your colonoscopy. Less pain. Imagine that. I don't think it does video. Oh, but not yet, Vaughn. Not yet, but it will. Not yet, it will.

Yeah. I had to go old school, I had to take a deep breath and the GoPro went up. So, and it wasn't even like one of those GoPro 7s. Yeah, just steady. It was original GoPro.

A little bit at a time. Yeah. A little bit at a time and then you're fine. Well, the other option was an iPhone 7 on a selfie stick. So, I'm quite pleased I went with the GoPro and the garden hose. Very hard to manoeuvre up all the tracks.

Very hard. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, yesterday Consumer released their list of sunscreens that didn't make the cut. That's right. We talked about what SPF claims versus FPF facts. Yeah, well, they test the sunscreens, and yeah, some of them fall short. Some of them don't even live up or come close. Right.

So there were three trio of sunscreens that didn't meet the SPF claims that were on the bottle, and this is in the news again now because of the price of sunscreen. One of those sunscreens that failed sold for, when they worked it out, $450 a litre. When you took the price and worked it out. Jesus. That's like printer ink. Yes.

Or even champagne or printer ink wouldn't be that much, right? Maybe printer egg. Maybe it might be champagne. Very nice champagne. Very nice champagne. It'd be very, very, very French. It would actually be champagne. Yeah. It wouldn't be bubbly, spritzy water.

Yeah. With grape bits. Grape bits. What do they call it? Wine. Sparkling wine. Sparkling wine. Yeah, yeah.

They call it wine. What's that water in the bottle? It's water, but it makes you feel funny. It's got grapes in it. Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum. Wine. That's the word I'm after. Correct.

So I guess the point of this article is that if it's a fancy bottle and it's more expensive, it doesn't necessarily mean it's better. No. So the three that didn't live up, one of them was $27 for a 200ml tube. The Sukin sunscreen was sold in 60ml tubes for as much as $28. I would use 60ml every time I put on sunscreen.

I'm heavy handed. I've bought the big pump. I get the big Nivea. Always get the big pump. And the blue bottle, I think it's like 500 mils of sunscreen. It's a whole very dark blue bottle. Yes.

With a yellow umbrella on it. It's got like a little, no, it's got a little hand. Oh, like a, yeah, it's like a orangey tap. Yeah, but on the logo is a beach umbrella. Yeah, it does. Yeah, that's the one.

And yeah, they worked out the other sunscreen as well was, yeah, $57. 50. i know this is going to make pharmacists absolutely later you know roll in their hover hover crafts yeah because famously they pharmacists don't have legs prove to me they do yeah they're always behind a tall beach you just see them hovering they're hovering hovering. They're a hover pharmacist. Why do we have to look up at them? It's a power play.

My brother's a pharmacist. They're egomaniacs. Does he have a raised stage for his pharmacy? Yeah, of course he does. Yeah. Of course he does. And he's got a white coat. Thinks he's better than me.

Thinks he's a doctor, doesn't he? Thinks he's a chef. He wants to be a chef. And he's back there making an appetizer of Viagra and all those other bits of penicillin. Oh my God. Right. This will make the pharmacists roll in their graves.

But is the chemist's warehouse a good option for a cheap sunscreen? Well, yeah, if they've got it on special. Because they sell everything cheaper. The supermarkets, yeah, but it just depends on the labels. You do have to get past Dan and Honor on security on the way in. They're on the door, yeah. They've also got the key for the fragrances as well. Do they?

I bet they do. I bet they've got their own key for the fragrances. They're allowed to walk into any chemist's warehouse. And just open up the fragrance cabinet. Yeah. Absolutely. And they'll be like, excuse me, Mr. Carter, what are you doing? And he's like, I've got a night out.

I'm just coming to absolutely bathe myself in testers. Because he's got nothing else to do, right? Yeah. That's us, sir. That's Katy Perry's fragrance. It's more feminine. He's like, that's how I like to smell. Ever smelled Dan Carter?

I bet he smells all right. I bet he smells all right. Smells all right. My theory is he would smell better than Honor. Oh, okay, right. Big call. She'd smell neutral and not overpowering, slightly floral. He would be an absolute aromatic bouquet.

He'd be all over the smells. Even I reckon he'd be one of those people that doesn't smell bad after exercising. He smells musky. Oh, those people. Yeah. Yeah. Son of a bitch. Well, it's happened.

It has. We told you, didn't we? We gave you a warning. Yep. It was in Australia. We said it was coming and it came. The Caramilk McFlurry. Has landed.

Has landed, yep. So, apparently very popular in Australia. Do you think they'd do a sundae with caramilk sauce? So, they've got the caramilk-flavoured sauce. Oh, they would then. So it's caramilk flakes sprinkled over soft serve drizzled with the caramilk-flavoured sauce. So they've got a caramilk-flavoured sauce. Oh, yeah.

Which I'm very interested in knowing more about. Because I'm more of a sundae than a McFlurry. Right, so you go super sundae, you go sauce. Yep. Ice cream, sauce. Then caramilk flakes on top. Ah, yeah, if you want, sure. Sauce, ice cream, sauce. Then caramel flakes on top. Ah, yeah, if you want, sure. A McFlurry, correct me if I'm wrong.

It's all mixed in. It's just all mixed up. Yeah, but I don't like that. It's a sundae, but it's all mixed. I don't like that. Okay. I like to do my own mixing. Separate your food on your plate, do you?

Yep. Yuck. You're one of those people that can't have your food touching? No, I do it. In a little segmented bowl? No, it's all a mixed mash. Yeah, like you're in prison? No, I just... In a little mash in that corner of the bowl? No, I do. A little segmented bowl? No, it's all a mix. Yeah, like you're in prison? No, I just...

A little mash in that corner of the bowl? No, I'll just mix it all. I don't care. So there's just sweet stuff you don't like mixed? Yeah, because I like the sweet hit of all the sauce on a spoon

and then I'll go just ice cream and then I'll do a whole spoon of sauce. Right. Is that bad? So a whole spoon of sauce, neutralise the palate with a soft serve.

Absolutely, yeah. Back for a bit more sauce. And then you've got to eat heaps of ice cream to get to the bottom and then you get spoon of sauce. Neutralise the palate with a soft serve. Absolutely, yeah. Back for a bit more sauce. And then you've got to eat heaps of ice cream to get to the bottom. Oh, what a terrible challenge. It really is horrible. Your reward for eating through that yucky ice cream is more sauce at the bottom of your sundae. A well-earned treat by the time you get there.

Well, for caramilk lovers, and we do know New Zealand loves caramilk. Famously. It's out. It's here. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Great work from Wellington City Council putting this out there. They've released the most popular dog names in Wellington. Okay. According to registered dogs.

So they've all got like registered dogs names. Unregistered dogs. Could be a completely different list. Yeah. Top 10. Archie, Millie, Ruby, Luna, Molly, Coco, Max, Poppy in at third with 104 poppies.

Wow. 108 Bellas in at number two and 166 Charlies. Charlies. Charlies. But they also released a list of their favourite names. Oh, okay.

So these are names of actual dogs in Wellington according to their registration. But I'm imagining they've got shortened versions. Okay. Captain Nanna Spider Pig Wolfstein II. That's so good. What would that short name be? Captain. Cap.

Wolf. Yeah. Wolf. Yeah. Wolfstein II right at the end there. Captain Nana Spider Pig Wolfstein II. That sounds like they've said to a three-year-old. Or they got every kid got to give it a part of its name. Algud Imperial Stout I Scott. What?

Algud Imperial Stout. That's a type of beer. I, Scott. This sounds like they're looking around the room naming that dog. Naming bits and pieces. Yeah. Detective Justice Butterfield. That's my favourite so far.

Oh, there's better. That is my favourite so far. Fenra Boldur von Reitzweiber. Okay. That sounds like aitzweiber. Okay. That sounds like a Warhammer character. Yeah. Flash Sparkle Moonbeam. You give three kids each a naming right.

Go Fetch Quantum Leap Frankie. Okay. I'm imagining Frankie for sure. Yeah. Joan of Arc, which I liked. I really liked Joan of Arc. Tip of the hat for that one. That's good. Miss Dolly Porton.

Yes, also good. And Nuggy McSchnugglebutt. Okay, now I'm torn between Nuggy McSchnugglebutt or what was the other one I liked? Detective Justice Butterfield. Yeah. I want to know why every other council aren't doing this. I know, this is fantastic

Do you think we can ask the Auckland City Council Should we ask Richard We'll ask Councillor Richard Who we know Think about how many dogs are registered in Auckland I mean you'd be able to do your top 10 easy But it's a great It's kind of a reminder you've got to register your dog

Yeah that's true And you know I mean everyone knows that, right? Councils have interns, right? This sounds like a great job for an intern. A summer intern. A summer intern. Compile the best list of dog names.

Someone that's halfway through their uni degree, you know, they really want a serious job in the council, maybe a city planner, and they get into work and they're like, okay, here's... Give them this dumb, meaningless task so we can laugh about it for three minutes and then completely forget it ever existed. Yeah. Yeah.

Sounds great to me. Yeah. What's that anti-vax mayor of the Coromandel doing? She's not allowed to go into work. She's got to work from home. She can do this. Perfect. Work out her tenureship as mayor and then obviously not get reelected.

Yeah. But yes, it's like a job for her. Go on, councils. You know what to do now. Get us the funny dog names, please. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there.

There's an article that says, the more expensive the wedding, the lower the chances of living happily ever after. Well, luckily, your wedding was done on the cheap. Oh, my God. It didn't cost a penny. Just that bloody run down place on Waiheke. Yeah.

I just scraped it together. They're saying people that can be happy with a smaller financial investment on the day are going to be able to get through the tougher times in life. Well, okay. That's probably a good point though, isn't it? But if you want everything

and you're an expensive bridezilla Then when things don't go You'll weigh a little bit Down the track I'm not just saying bridezilla This could also be a grooms Yeah I don't want to put the weight

On the woman But yeah If it's expensive And agreements aren't made And then it could You know Show that later in life Yeah

You might not be able To settle for less Yeah exactly And times get tough. You want, want, want. Spend, spend, spend. You can't always spend your way out of trouble. So I've got the top six other signs that a wedding is...

Top six other signs at a wedding that the marriage is already doomed. Okay. Number six. A non-traditional wedding cake. Look, I love banana cake. As much as the next guy. But it's got no place at a wedding. It doesn't have the thickness

to hold up the icing. I'd rather have an amazing banana, like the Annabelle Langbine banana cake. Look, Annabelle, Annabelle Langy does a great cake.

If she was doing a wedding cake, I'd be all for it. Yeah, not a sponge. See, I'd rather have an amazing banana cake than a wedding cake. I find wedding cakes, the icing, yuck.

Oh, I like that almond. Yeah, yuck. You can peel that off. You've got to have a big, dense chocolate cake. See, I'm a massive fan of fruitcake. It's up there. It's in my top five cakes. I love it.

You're just happy with a trifle. You love a sponge. I love everything. Yeah. He loves a sponge. But it wouldn't make a good wedding cake. No. Number five on the list of the top six other signs at a wedding that the marriage is already doomed.

Wacky wedding songs. Oh, okay. Where people have got wacky songs. Yeah. Like walking down the aisle to wacky songs? Yeah. Yeah, okay. If it's wacky.

Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other signs that the wedding you're at in the marriage is already doomed. No red meat options on the menu. What if they're vegan, so getting married? What? Do vegans get married? Apparently they do, yeah. Right.

Yeah. You tell me you can put on an entire wedding ceremony and an animal is not involved at all. Yeah. In any aspect. In any aspect. Fascinating. Yeah. In any aspect. In any aspect. Fascinating. Yeah. Number three on the list

of the top six other signs that the wedding you're at and the marriage is already doomed, the mother-in-law's acting like it's her wedding. Oh, yeah. You can always see that. Yeah.

She's stomping around. Wearing purple with a fascinator. Yes. All right, mum, you gave us five grand. Calm down. Yeah, stop there. Okay.

Number two on the list of the top six other signs that the wedding you're at and the marriage is already doomed, the flowers are dried flowers. Why is that a bad sign? The flowers are dead, man. Oh, okay, right. The flowers are dry. Yeah, okay.

They're full of husks of their former selves. I'm just saying it's, you know, provoking a little imagery there. Yeah, right. And number one on the list of the top six other signs that the wedding you're at, the marriage is already doomed, no canapes.

You've got to have canapes. You've missed canapes, don't you? I said just before, I said, that's why I brought it up when I was writing this list. I said, you know,

I've just thought about it. Something I've missed massively over lockdown, no canapes. Yeah, going to an event and someone's walking around with a tray. Yeah. You're like, what's this?

And they're like, I don't know. I could go and ask somebody. I was like, no, because by the time you get back, your tray will be empty. I could start with you next round. You're damn right you start with me next round. And every round henceforth.

Yeah. Now go get me another one of those little weird paper cones of fish and chips that are hot to hold and there's no dipping sauce for. Go, go, get out of here. Bring back a couple of those little dry sliders as well

with the crusty buns. Someone's overcooked them. Tell them they've overdone the buns. I'm a real canapé bitch. You are. I can tell. I really love critiquing the Canapés. That is today's Top 6.

You'll be familiar with George Clooney. Nespresso spokesperson. Yep. Tequila billionaire, because he sold that. Yeah, he had the moped accident. He was saying, what, just a few weeks ago that people were filming him while he was dying. While he was lying on the ground. And he was like, that's pretty effed up.

He was 1990s Batman. Yeah. What else has he done? ER heartthrob. Absolutely. ER heartthrob. He's Danny Ocean from Ocean's 11, 12, 13, not 8. And he took a dump in that guy's litter box, didn't he?

He did. It's a very... Richard Kind? Yeah. His very good friend who he used to live with. He had a kitten. A phenomenal story. He had a kitten, and George Clooney was crashing on his couch

when he was a poor actor, and he'd clean up the cat litter. Yeah. And Richard Kind just thought the cat wasn't pooping. Yeah. And he was starting to get worried about it. So one day George Clooney took a dump in the litter box and Richard Cline just assumed that the... This cat was like messed up.

Yeah. Great story. Absolutely known prankster. Yeah. He used to buy old paintings from like op shops and then Richard Cline would come home and he'd just be sitting there with a brush being like, I'm just finishing up this.

And Richard Kind thought it was amazing. But they were like these $2 art shop. Yeah. He's not dead. He's not. No, no, no. He's not dead. He's not dead.

We're talking like he's dead. He's not even involved in this. No. Here's a refresher on what George Clooney sounds like. But, you know, we finished ahead of schedule and under budget. We did everything we were supposed to do. You know, it's about the idea of first and foremost, what man can do to man. He's got a great voice. Great voice. Wonderful voice. Wonderful voice. So this is the weird part. Joe Biden, President of the United States, has a cold at the moment, confirmed not COVID,

but a cold nonetheless. And it's affected his voice, and he sounds exactly like George Clooney. Listen. This worldwide effort we're leading won't solve the problem of high gas prices overnight. But over the last month, likely due in part to the anticipation of this action, we've seen oil and gas prices out of the wells. Oil and gas prices on the wholesale market come down

significantly. That's incredible. That's legit. I looked it up. Looked it up. Found the press conference. It's not a deep fake. No. It's not George Clooney in on a prank. Because he's a prankster. But if so, Joe Biden

was mimicking that. You've seen the press conference. Yeah. But he's got a cold so his voice is deepened. Because they did release the doctors. You know when a president has to go to the doctor, they always have to release all the notes and stuff. Yeah, right. So they've released that just saying he's got a cold,

a frog in his throat. Yeah. So where's Joe Biden from originally? Are they from the same area? Well, George Clooney was born in Lexington, Kentucky. That's where he was born. But Joe Biden's not from the South, is he? No, he's not.

He's just out of Delaware. He's from Delaware, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Crazy. Because when you can't see the video, when you just listen. It's just Joe Biden. Just sounds like, yeah.

I mean, it's just George Clooney. That's incredible. But when you see the video, it's coming out of Joe Biden's mouth. And it's you just listen. It's just Joe Biden. It just sounds like, yeah. I mean, it's just George Clooney. That's incredible. But when you see the video, it's coming out of Joe Biden's mouth. And it's not a fake. It's not a fake. Wow. From all I can see, it's not a fake. I mean, you know, most of us are terrible when we have a cold,

but to sound like George Clooney. I know, one more time. Imagine if you sounded like George Clooney every time you got a sore throat. You'd be absolutely stoked. I mean, this is, again, Joe Biden, not George Clooney. This worldwide effort we're leading won't solve the problem of high gas prices overnight. That's incredible. It sounds exactly like him.

It doesn't like Wayne and you don't get used to it and you sat here and Joe Biden and you just hear George Clooney the whole time. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. The 12 Days of Fletchmas. 15 days, 16 hours away from Christmas Day. Oh, it's gone so fast. Flying. The 12 Days of Fletchmas, a chance for you to win.

You've got to register, send them online, and tell us if you're on the naughty or the nice list. And then each day, I'll decide. I picked nice yesterday, didn't I? Had a moment of weakness. I wouldn't look at it as a moment of weakness. A moment of resolve. I actually found it very hard every day to choose a winner.

We're going to start this morning with the nice list. Who's on the nice list? Good morning, Nicole. Good morning. Okay, why are you on the nice list? Tell us. There's a bit of a back story, but the reason I put myself on the nice list

is because I came up with the idea to buy a stranger a new backpack. Aw. A new backpack? Yeah, a new backpack. So for the last year, we've had an older gentleman walk past our showroom office. Yeah. And he's always waved out to us in the mornings and the afternoons,

and I noticed that his backpack that he had was falling apart and faded. Okay. So I came up with the idea to buy him a new backpack. And the office contributed. We custom designed him a new Christmas card and put some treaties in there. And we recently got the chance to give it to him on Tuesday. Oh my gosh, that is so wholesome. Was he like, I didn't want this?

Or he loved it? He was a bit hesitant to come into the showroom at first because he didn't understand why. But he was so grateful. So you didn't take the backpack out to him? You were like, come in here. Come in here. Lured him into the showroom.

We had to try and get him into the showroom so that we could all say that it was from us and everything like that, yeah. Aww. And have you seen him? This only was on Tuesday, but did he walk past yesterday wearing the new bag, backpack? I didn't actually get the chance. I was out doing a quote, so I didn't get to see.

Oh, okay. But do you think he's going to use it? Yes, definitely. So we nicknamed him Mr. Wavy. We didn't actually know his name. Because he waves! Oh, that's so nice. But you know you always run the risk with

old people, they love to use things until they're absolutely hanging by a thread. It was really hanging by a thread. Yeah, okay. That's cool. That is very nice, Nicole. That's the Christmas spirit. It is. Very awesome.

Lure an old man into your showroom, surround him and say, we got you something, we got you something. Ho, ho, ho. Who's on the naughty list? Good morning, Steph. Good morning. Now, why are you on the naughty list? Well, look, I'm renegotiating that.

I think I should be on both. Okay. That's such a naughty person thing to say. So is. So on the old mate Tinder, having a little bit of a casual swipe left and swipe right, and I saw a guy that very clearly was a married profile. You can tell because they don't have pictures

and things like I'm not going to be available all the time, et cetera, et cetera. That's cool. So I swiped right on him. And I played innocent. Oh, I've never done this before. What happened? And did the single mum thing.

Sorry, can't be available all the time either. But, you know, kind of struggling. And so he was like, oh, maybe't be available all the time either. But, you know, kind of struggling and so he was like, oh, maybe I can help you out with that. I'm a big manager of a store and not happy and blah, blah, blah. Casually, accidentally asked for my bank

account, which I gave to him. He put in $50 here, $100 here, and then I was messaging him one day and said, oh, I'm so mad because I had a smart TV in my room, but it wouldn't play Disney Plus. And I was having a whinge about it. He goes, oh, maybe I could help you out with that. And I was like, no, it was too much.

We haven't even met yet. What are you giving him? Are you sending him pictures or something? Well, I mean, family show, guys. Family show. Family show. Okay, right. He is getting the odd, like, naughty photo.

All I will say is top half only. Okay, right. And again, we hadn't even met at this stage. And yeah, he asked my address so I gave him my real one and three days later this 50% smart TV turns up and it's like

Oh my god I'll send him top half I'll send him top half He's available. And then, yeah, so he sent me messages afterwards, hey, maybe you could take the day off and, you know, I'll give you your wages for the day and we can hang out. And I was like, look, you're just a bit too full on for me, mate.

And just go to them. Like. He has your address though. He does, but he also has a wife, so I don't think he's dumb enough to come and pursue that in any way, shape or form. This is a good old fashioned standoff.

He does want to pull the trigger on the And the reason why I think I should be on the good list is because really I'm doing that man's woman a favour, aren't I? Because he's not going to try it again if the last one cost him like $1,000 and he got nothing out of it.

No, but do you know what, Sev? And we've talked about this on the show before. There are some guys out there, this is like their thing. They love being financially drained and shamed. Yeah, well, thank you. He got nothing out of it. He got top half. He got top half only. Well, I mean, anyone, thank you. He got nothing out of it. He got top half. He got top half only, though.

Well, I mean, anyone, you know, might get those. She's given it away for less, is what she's telling us. Yeah. Wow. Okay, all right. Well, Steph, wait there.

Oh, my God. We literally could not have gone from one extreme to the other, like, more. Mr. Wavy's new backpack. Mr. Wavy, a wholesome story about a cute old man getting a new backpack to... Steph, financially shaming and ruining a married man. I don't think he ruined himself.

Good luck. I know what one you've picked already. You just, you're just trying to delay it to make yourself seem like a nice person. But I know which one you immediately want to be like. Yes, you do know me too well, Vaughan Smith. Steph. Hey!

I know you got a TV out of this, a 55-inch TV and some cash. And Nicole's story was incredible. It was very touching and heartwarming. But Steph, very naughty, and we are rewarding you with a present today from under the tree. Now, do you want the biggest present? You just go with whatever. I'm good.

The TV just keeps on giving. I like the biggest. Vaughan, you've gone for the biggest present under the tree. Yeah. That round one, the tube down there is really tickling my fancy, so I want to know what's in that. In the tube one? Yeah.

Okay. All right, well, we've gone for the biggest present under the tree, Steph. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Oh, it's got bloody type on it I need my knife and it's coming with the scissors oh the snips I know that package oh okay Wow I know this is that worth? This whole package is worth about $360. Okay.

It's from our friends at the Adult Toy Megastore. Oh, yes, you did. Nothing in here is 55 inches. Like the TV. No. But we've got a... I'm blushing. We've got a sheer satisfaction karma,

a satisfier... thing, a sheer satisfaction three-piece plug kit. Do they do plumbing now? Yeah, they do electrical points. That's cool. Oh my gosh, that is so tame. Uber lube, that's to help you slip into an Uber, I assume? Yeah, they do electrical points. That's cool. Oh, my gosh, that is so strange. Uber lube, that's to help you slip into an Uber, I assume.

Yeah, yeah. It's a small Uber. And a sheer satisfaction set. Oh, look at him. Steffi's all wound up. Look at Dick. Can you hear him? I'm salivating.

Sheer satisfaction massage candle set. Oh, yeah, yeah. From Adult Twin Megastore, New Zealand's favourite online retailer for everything adult. There you go. Well, congratulations, Steph. Being naughty has paid off for you. The 12 Days of Fletchmas.

I was reading this one. I was like, what's a gespot? You mean gespot or hon? They have missed off a dot there, though's a gespot? You mean G-spot or hon? They have missed off a dot there, though, haven't they? Yeah, it needs a hyphen. It needs a space, a gespot. Yeah, a gespot. Okay, that'd be great on the gespot.

I was like, it must be a German thing. If you would like to register for the 12 Days of Fletchmas, ZM Online, tell us if you're on the naughty or the nice list. You need a moment. Need a glass of water. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. A British study has said that in 2021, women are doing 21 hours more unpaid work than men in a week.

Is this housework or at work work? No, it's unpaid work around the home. Right. Basically. The most shocking offenders were heterosexual couples with young children. Oh, okay. Does that make me like, what am I then?

Am I, because I do everything. So am I like an absolute? An anomaly in this situation? Right. Or I cancel myself out? Yeah. If you spend an hour cleaning, there's the female version of you out there,

someone that spends 13 hours doing it. Right, okay. Yeah, for every hour you clean, she cleans for 13. Imagine how clean a lesbian's house must be. You could eat off the floor. Could you? Probably not. Yeah, probably not.

Probably not. I wouldn't imagine it's healthy to eat off the floor anywhere. No. But yeah, 21 hours more unpaid work. Why did I say 13 before? 12 before? I'm sorry. I've whittled down there.

Hard work. Whittled it down. Whittled it white down. Right. Would that be the same in your house? Would that be the case? I would probably have a loophole in the fact of how many days, how many hours of the day I spend outside doing things.

Because you do all the outside stuff. Yeah, I do all the outside stuff, and sometimes I'll just disappear into the paddock for an hour and have a chat to a cow and move a fence and tinker with a pipe. I mean, I could write that off as work. Easy peasy. It's not, is it? And then you mow the lawns and you're like,

wha, big day's work. But it was mowing the lawns and just chatting to a pig. You were literally sitting on the mower too. Yeah. But pointing it. Yeah, but that's not that hard, is it, really? Well, it's going to keep those lines perfectly straight because if you don't do a straight line on the square part of the lawn,

you're going to see that. So does the study say how to rectify this? Just do more? Offer to help out a little bit more. Right. Especially after you have a kid. Yep. The hours skew far more heavily to female.

Now, this is a broad... A broad study. Yeah, a broad study. I'm sure there's situations where men are the at-home body and women are back earning that bread. But, yeah, around about after you have children, the workload spikes a lot for whoever is home-based. So maybe help out where you can.

Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Yeah, these are the things that you see. If you see anything that tickles your fancy, screenshot it and send it to us on any of the socials, FBMZM. As someone did do from the

Tikofota community page, Anna writes, can anyone please help? My daughter has her finger stuck in a plastic bucket. Basket. We can't get it out and nothing sharp enough to cut it off. I'm assuming she means cut off the... The basket, not the finger. The basket, not the finger.

What about some margarine or some oil? That's a good call. Yeah. Not what's suggested in the comments. Cal's writes, you can probably get a sharp knife and carefully cut it out, even though she just has stated she has nothing sharp enough to cut it. Bridget with a good idea. A hairdryer will warm up the plastic, giving it more flexibility, and then you'll be able to get your finger out. Bridget with a good idea. A hairdryer will warm up the plastic, giving it more flexibility

and then you'll be able to get your finger out. Bridget? Maybe the heat it would need to get to would also burn the finger a little bit. Yeah, true. Your margarine suggestion's the best suggestion yet. Thank you. And Cal said if you've got dental floss, you can wrap it tight around the finger.

There, I believe, she believed they were going to cut the finger off. Sort of amputate the finger. Right, okay., she believed they were going to cut the finger off. Sort of amputate the finger. Right, okay. Misguided there. Yeah. This one, Jessica wrote in the

Kmart and Warehouse Hacks and Decor NZ. Yep, that's a page. Anybody else have this problem? She recently purchased a Merry Christmas hanging decoration

that says Merry Christmas. The letters accept it. It's about Merry Ristmas because it's merry. Yeah. And then where the C should be to start Christmas, it's another R. Right. That sounds like a whole different thing, Merry Ristmas.

Yeah, very different. Very different. So some people end their Merry Christmas with a Merry Ristmas. Yeah. This one is what I was mentioning before. Speaking up for the ducks. Cambridge, New Zealand grapevine. Jack writes, it's come to my attention that a certain duck has been attacking people

relentlessly at the lake. Okay. And I would like to take this opportunity to speak on behalf of Mr. Duck and share his side of the story. Mr. Duck says he's frantically trying to tell people to stop feeding him bread. He comes across as aggressive but has good intentions. And here comes the plug.

Okay. Mr. Duck has also told me you can get a special duck seed mix from Petstock, Cambridge, which is cheaper than a loaf of bread and tastes way better and is much healthier for him. Be kind to Mr. Duck, and if you don't like him, don't visit his home. Fair call. That's a fair call.

Yeah, because you shouldn't feed... Also, good little plug there. You shouldn't feed the bread, should you? Not good. No. Not good for them to have the bread. That means my whole childhood was a lie. Yeah.

Because mum and gran would always take us to feed the ducks. I wonder how many ducks we've killed. A lot. With bread. Yeah. A lot. They look like they're enjoying it. They're having a good time.

And then when we walk away... You don't see the death. No. But, yeah. You don't see the slow stumble. Yeah, duck side. the death. No. But yeah. You don't see the slow stumble. Yeah, duck side. Duck aside. Yeah. From Nelson

Shirame. Okay. Has posted, I've seen a, I've just seen a front tooth plate at Countdown Richmond near the middle trolley bay. I'm sorry, I'm just not touching it due to not knowing the mouth it came from. I hope to find I hope to find

the toothless fairy and who it belongs to. So someone's left their denture, their tooth. It's one. It's like one of those plates that you like clip in. And it's got one tooth on it. And it sits between your teeth. Yeah, it's got one front tooth on it. How do you just leave that in a trolley?

I don't know. By the trolley bay. Oh, yeah. So what, they were just like, well, I'll just leave this here while I get a trolley. I don't know. By the trolley bay. Oh. Yeah. So what, they were just like, well, I'll just leave this here while I get a trolley. I don't know. They sneezed and it fell out and they didn't notice straight away. Oh. I'm not 100% sure.

Do you hand it in to lost property? You tell them it's there. You don't touch it. Yeah. Yeah. And finally today from Dunedin Jobs, Charlie's got $30 cash. Okay. For someone who can take out a small bush and dispose of it,

must have own gear. I want it gone at some point as it's starting to grow against the roof and it won't be long before it starts damaging the roof. Warning. Yeah. You must know what you're doing and be comfortable with spiders. This is what's known as a spider's nest bush. Oh, no thanks. There are multiple spider's nests in the bush

and possibly hundreds if not thousands of spiders within it. You are very likely to get bitten if you don't know what you're doing. That sounds like the start of like a horror movie. I don't know what all the... How have they just happily had this spider factory right beside their house? If you can identify a spider factory, you'll move the spider factory and you're going to offer people more than $3 cash.

Burn that to the ground. This is a specialist. You'll get bitten if you don't know what you're doing. I don't know all the species in there, but I've seen pure red spiders, black and yellow spiders, white spiders, normal black spiders. And a white tail was found in our house before. And I can't say for sure if it came from this bush or not but I think it did. Just putting it out there

so you're well aware of the risks. I can be on standby to call an ambulance if need be. Okay, they're very positive about this. The job needs to be done in a weekend or after 4pm during the week excluding Fridays. Someone would do that for $30.

What is a spider's web bush? Spider's nest bush. Is that a thing? I mean... Could spiders of different species happily live in the same bush? I don't know. Maybe it's like an apartment complex. Just get a whole lot of different people living together, don't you?

Right. Nobody... I'm looking up, there's no such plant as a spider's nest bush. I need a follow-up. Was this removed? No, it's still on the page. I don't know. Oh, God, I need to know if they died or

if they successfully removed it. Did they get their $30? Does he still have to pay them? Yes, and did the spiders shake out and just move into their house? I would shake the spiders out before I started on the bush. If anyone's got any follow-up on this crazy bush, that would be much appreciated. Those are today's community notices.

If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. F-E-M-Z-M on Facebook. ZM and Countdown's Christmas Holiday Helpers. Ho, ho, ho. Countdown's Christmas Holiday Helpers. We've got a ho. Countdown's Christmas Holiday Helpers. We've got a chance for you to win a $500 Countdown voucher each week leading up to Christmas.

All you've got to do is tell us if you've had a Christmas feast that's gone horribly wrong. Horribly wrong. Jackie, what happened? We had a glass bowl explode all over the food. Was it one of those glass explosions where it's like safety glass and you can just nicely pick that out of the food? Or was it shards?

No, it was actual shards. It was ruined, yeah, all of it. Was it one of those bowls that's supposedly heatproof? Like you can put it in ovens and stuff? I actually have no idea. All I know, like, because it was at a crib and we were kind of in the middle of nowhere and it was just one that we grabbed from the cupboard. So I don't, yeah, I don't know.

I don't feel, but it wasn't pretty. I'm just going to run a bit of translation for our North Island listeners. A crib is a batch. Right, okay. I think we knew that, didn't we? Oh, not everybody. Was it one of those bowls that's more suited for like a fruit salad or a trifle, but you were putting hot stuff in it?

No, no, no. We had salad in it. So what had happened was we were running out of space on the table, because, you know, crib, sorry, batch, being really small. So, yeah, we had no space left for the food. So mum had just, you know, finished cooking the nespas on the stove and, you know, pulled the pot off. And then my sister was like,

oh, free space. And put, yeah, wasn't thinking. Put the bowl on the element. If you're in the middle of nowhere and Christmas dinner's ruined, what did you do? Yeah, we ended up having scrambled eggs on toast. That was all we had. Oh, my dudes.

Wow. That's rough. All right. Hey, well, you can enjoy the magic of Christmas with Countdown because we have for you a $500 Countdown voucher. Jackie, well done. Oh, thank you so much. And watch out.

Don't put anything on the stove this Christmas, please. Don't be like my sister. If you would like to register and win as well, you can go to ZM Online and tell us how your Christmas feast went wrong. Well, next on the show, 2020 was the year of sourdough starters and sourdough recipes and banana bread. The most searched recipes for 2021. We're going to run through those next. Got to break down the sweet and savouries.

Play-Doh's on the list too. That's hit a big year. What does that fall under? Sweet or savoury? Savoury. Savoury. Salt. Yeah.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The list of the most Googled recipes for 2021. This has been released to Google searches. When you need a recipe, you Google. And then that's normally followed up with like NZ or metric. Because, you know, you Google recipes and it's all bloody American. And you're like, what's an LB? Yeah.

How many LBs is, yeah, and grams and stuff. And, yeah, my most constant barbecuing, it's constantly, what's so-and-so Fahrenheit and Celsius? Yeah. Constantly. And they have different names for some things, eh? I forget, but I've had to Google things. I'm being, oh, we don't call that that.

Cilantro. Yeah. Oh, no, I know that one. I know that's coriander. Coriander. So they've broken this list down into the top savoury searches and the top sweet. What one do you want first?

Sweet or savoury? Well, you start with your savouries and you end with your sweet. Let's do this thing like pudding. Okay. Like meals. Okay, the most Googled savoury recipes for 2021. Ten. Hash brown.

Yum. That's where you just... Great potato. Yeah, but it's what you put in it. I bet there's a bloody great hash brown recipe out there. So many. Cottage pie at nine. Play-Doh made it onto the savoury list,

despite the fact we're not eating that. No. That peaked in August, which correlates to lockdown, where I'm guessing parents needed to shut kids up with Play-Doh that they made because the stores were shut at that stage where you couldn't buy Play-Doh. Focaccia at seven. That's a plus.

Naan bread at six because, you know, people are doing the supermarket like butter chickens and curries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those supermarkets and my supermarket has like in the...

You get a naan in the Frozens? Yeah, where they have the pizzas. The pizza bases. The pizza bases, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some good naans there. Carbonara at five. Uh-huh.

Carbonara. Bread at four. Just general? Just general. Carbonara at five. Carbonara. Bread at four. Just general. Just general. Pizza dough at three. Homemade pizza dough, fantastic. It's so big. I didn't know you had to leave it.

The yeasty bit. Yeah, you've got to leave it to yeast. Pumpkin soup, the second most Googled savory recipe of 2021. Just buy it. And guacamole is number one. So that correlated with late August when avocados were ridiculously cheap in supermarkets. Right.

Your trick for a good guacamole, rock salt. Yes. And a bit of lemon juice or lime. Yep. Finely chopped. Limes over lemons but lemons will work. And finely chopped peppers. Red onions. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

Just a little bit of kick. A little bit of kick from a finely chopped, yeah. Or some chili flakes. Yeah, it's good stuff. Oh, you can go chili flakes. I'm a big fan of a chili flake. Yeah, same. Bloody love it.

Huge fan of a chili flake. This is why we're friends. I put chili flake on toast. Oh, okay. What, like a marmite? A bit of avo, a bit of marmite. Yeah, good stuff. Salt and chilli flakes.

Okay, the most Googled sweet recipes for 2021 are Afghan at 10. Afghan biscuits. Biscuits, yeah. Cheesecake at nine. Chocolate brownie at eight. Banana bread at seven. Banana cake at six. Pancakes at five.

Cinnamon scrolls. I saw a return of the Cinnamon Scroll. My Nana made a mad Cinnamon Scroll. You know the only reason I love Cinnamon Scrolls is the frosting. The drizzly. Well, not drizzle, a thick inch of frosting. Oh, no, I was thinking that gooey drizzle that they put over them. Oh, yum.

Yeah, good stuff. You're robbing the Cinnamon Scroll of its starring role in the play if you're putting it in frosting. The drizzle's playing best supporting character. It's winning an Oscar for it, but it's leaving the main role to the star of the show. Scones are at three of the most Googled savoury recipes of this year. Sweet.

Carrot cake at two. You're on sweet now, Han. Sorry, sweet. Sorry, Han. Sorry. Sorry all the Hans I put wrong there. Sorry to the Hans. So many Hans.

Carrot cake at two for the most sweet recipes Googled. And number one, this peaked in May, August. Gisborne, Tasman, Nelson. The most Googled areas for this recipe. Number one. What goes with weed well.

That's what I'm trying to think after you said those areas. Or what do we do with all these leftover apples? Apple crumble. Oh, love a crumble. It's an apple pie. Not even on there.

Kiwis prefer a crumble, don't they? Yeah, they love a crumble because of the... Yeah, because of the crumbly bits. All right, next. How about a rhubarb crumble? No. You don't want a rhubarb though? I'll leave that and take the apple crumble.

Don't eat the leaves. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Play ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Vaughan Smith asks somebody five questions about their mum and then has 15 seconds to guess their name. And that person today, am I saying this right? Is it Anstey?

Yes, Anstey. Anstey. Anstey. A-N-S-T-E-Y. That's me. Wow. I've never heard that name before. Yeah, you'll probably never will.

It's quite rare. Was it like a one-off, a boutique one? No, it was like my great-grandmother's middle name. I don't know. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Wow. A boutique one? No, it was like my great-grandmother's middle name. I don't know. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah.

Wow. Vaughan's like, oh. Yes, it doesn't bode well for guessing your mother's name. All right. Five questions now to try and work out your mum's name. Well, actually, even before you said that was your great-grandmother's middle name, my first question was, what is your mum's mum's name? Betty. Betty.

Okay. Yep. Okay. Betty. That's a classic, isn't it? It is. This is a subset question of the first question. Is it short for Elizabeth?

No, it's just Betty. Just Betty. Just Betty. Okay. But Betty! Betty. Just Betty, okay. But Betty! Don't do that. Number two question. What's mum's favourite shop?

Shop? Yeah. I don't know if I could say my mum's got a favourite. Maybe the plant store? My mum. Oh, yeah. That's what we can also do is like what sort of industry, like what does your mum go to

the most regularly? It could be a plant store. I mean, probably a supermarket, right? But outside of that. Well, we'll say countdown to the wine. Okay.

She loves the wine. Okay. That was my fourth question was what was your mum's favourite booze? Oh, okay. So maybe you've got a whole other question

Yeah, yeah My favourite shop Wine Okay, anything with wine Right Wine slash supermarket I wonder what kind of wine What kind of wine does she like?

Drinks She flips between a salve and a peanut grist Oh, a peanut grist I love it She's like, this is right up my mum's alley. Yeah. Yeah. What does your mum drink?

Fletch. I can't remember. She was in the Chardonnay Club for years. That's right. Do you remember they used to go to the Chardy Club? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to put down a Marie.

Oh, okay. I'm going to put down a... Are you just writing down all your mum and her friends that like wine? Pretty much Yeah Oh Janine's going to be on the list Okay She's not afraid of a

She's not a bloody afraid of a wine that's for sure Linda on there I haven't even delved into my mother-in-law She loves a wine She does yeah Robin I'm going to write down some of her friends' names. Okay.

Okay, next question. Oh, Sade's calling me back. I'll call you back. We're on air. Yeah, I know, but I called her. Oh, okay, right. What is mum's job? She is a primary school teacher, new entrant.

Oh, that explains the wine, doesn't it? Yeah, it totally does. God, if I was a teacher, I'd have a cask in the lower drawer. Only Tuesday through Friday, though. You know, she's not... Oh, yeah. I'm just going to write down all my... It's good to know she has two days off.

All my teachers' names. Okay. I'm just going to write down all my... It's good to know she has two days off. All my teachers' names. Okay. Who do you think even knew my primary school teacher's first name? Lynn. Lynn, okay, right. Lynn Meredith. Lynn, right. She wasn't afraid to dish it out, boy.

If you were misbehaving, you were getting a ruler across the ass or a knuckle. I think she just slipped in there. She was just allowed to do it. Just, right in there. She was just allowed to do it. Just to be right. She was just allowed to do it. Just before it was outlawed in the 90s. Okay. Okay, so mum's a teacher.

Booze, I already asked. Yeah. What about parents, brothers, sisters? Well, that's my next question is, what were her siblings' names? So she's got a Barry, a Terry, and a Dennis. Wow, okay. Okay, because when you were named Anstey, I was thinking

we're going to have a real strong Dutch influence. I wasn't sure where Anstey originated, but now you've got your Bazzi, your Tezza, and your Denno. Yeah. So she's going to be a Anstey Yeah Originated But now you've got Your Bazzi Your Tezza And your Deno Yeah So she's gonna be a She's gonna be a A Mary Maybe a Mary Okay

Mary Terry And Ah Love it So one more question Or was that a Maybe a

Nah Well I don't have another question So I'm happy to go Four Oh wow Are you sure you wanna do that Is there I'm I another question, so I'm happy to go with four. Oh, wow. Are you sure you want to do that? I'm a madman. I'm a loose cat.

What about what kind of car does your mum drive? That's always a classic. It's a bit of a classic, but, I mean, whose segment is this? Okay, you know what? You might mess with my mojo. You know what? Let's not answer that. You only need four questions, mister.

I know the name already. Yeah. Fine. All right, Anstey, you've got 15 I know the name already. Yeah. Fine. All right, Anstey, you've got 15 seconds, Vaughn. Yeah. To read out the name. Anstey, if you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop. That's my mum's name.

Vaughn, your time starts now. Angela, Patricia, Louise, Christine, Bev, Marie, Janine, Linda, Robin, Lynn, Claire, Jenny, Mary, Heather. Yeah, stop. That's my mum's name. What? Which one? Because I got to a Mary or? Jenny.

Jenny. Are you kidding me? I would like to thank Jenny Clements, my intermediate teacher. Okay. First year of intermediate. Did she love a wine as well? She wouldn't have been afraid of one. Okay, good. She wouldn't have been afraid of one. Okay, good.

She wouldn't have been scared of one. Shout out Jenny Clements. Well, Antsy, congratulations. $100. Woo. Yes. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name.

And you've... Also, my mum's middle name. Jenny. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Well, you've triggered the bonus round. So, Vaughn, you have now one guess at Anstey's dad's name. Jenny and...

I don't know it. Don't look at me. You don't know it. I don't know it. Jenny and Mike? But then I'm thinking Mike, Jenny and Holmes. Okay, right. No, is it Mike Greer Holmes? It's Mike Greer, I think, yeah. Jenny and Holmes are their own in the Holmes. Okay, right. No, is it Mike Greer Holmes?

It's Mike Greer, I think. Jenny and Holmes are their own in the Holmes. Yeah, they're their own thing. Jenny, Ian. Ian. Ian and Jenny? Ian. Well, that's your dad's name.

That's my dad's name. Your mum's middle name. Yeah, it could work. I've got to take the blinkers off. I've got to look wider afield. Yeah. Jenny and Holmes. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Genitals. Jenny and Holmes. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Genitals. Jenny. It wouldn't be a Terry. No, it wouldn't be a Terry because that's her brother. You wouldn't marry someone that's your brother. It wouldn't be the brother Terry.

Terry Irwin. Steve. Steve Irwin. She was married to Steve Irwin. Oh, we watched that video before. Steve Irwin is a really good surfer. He loves surfing. And he jumped off the surfboard and grabbed a poison snake.

Yeah. R. He loves surfing. And he jumped off the surfboard and grabbed a poison snake. Yeah. R.I.P. I miss him so much. Yeah. I know you do. The great stuff he could have done. I know. Yeah.

He's a good guy. Okay, you need to choose a name. I can't. Green Steve. I just, I can't stop thinking about him Now I'm a little bit like sad about Steve Okay, well do you want to lock in Steve? Yeah, we'll go with Steve

Okay, Anstey, what's your dad's name? Shut the front door, my dad's name is Steve I beg your pardon? I beg your pardon? Are you kidding me? No, it's my dad's name. How did that happen? Let's walk down the road of how that happened.

Because I told Anna ages ago to stop messaging me the dad's name when you were deciding because I didn't want to think that my face... There was our dad's name once that I was stumbling along and when I got to the right letter, Fletch turned away and I was like, I feel like I'm in the right place. Now you don't know it. I've made sure for a long time.

How did we get there? Jenny and Holmes, I thought it was Mike Jenny and... What did I think it was? Mike Greer Holmes. You said you wouldn't marry the same name as your brother, Terry. And then you said Steve. Steve because of Terry Irwin. Yeah. Because we were watching the Steve Irwin video this

morning. Just before of him surfing. And man that dude could rip. Jenny Tools I believe. Jenny Tools. And you went Jenny Tools. This has been done abode well. My husband and my father think that you're all BS and that you Facebook your parents' names. Oh, you mean stalk?

Yeah. I don't know who you are until you get on air. I don't even know your name until you get on air. You've talked to Executive Intern Anya, who gets the name, who ferociously hates how I get this. She gets so angry. Oh, I love that. Do you know what we should do is we should record the whole process one day

so people know how it works. Okay. I've got nothing to hide. Yeah, no. Wow, okay. No, because you don't have time to be Facebook stalking. No. So I just find out we get you on air, know your name.

Also, like, I'm mean quite common names really so your parents aren't on your facebook did you say and see oh no yeah they are they are unfortunately because also you do you could google her name because it's very unique but normally when you have say like you have a tina or a fiona yeah Or a Michelle. You know, that's very common. Hmm. Well, I don't know. You've done it again. I don't know how you've done it.

$200. We did it together. You're welcome. A team. We did it together. Oh, wait. So now it's my segment. No, it's still my segment.

Oh, right. I'll take all the praise. But I'm happy to have an arm hand. And, Stee, $200 is yours. Congratulations. Thank you. Awesome. Don't give your husband a goddamn yours. Congratulations. Thank you. Awesome. Don't give your husband a goddamn cent.

Nah. Don't worry, I will not. You tell him to get stuffed. I can't believe that happened. ZDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan. Behind the scenes at Rocked by Allegations of Cheating during I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Appalling accusations.

From Anstey's husband, whoever he is. Appalling. Give me five questions in 15 seconds, I'll probably have a go at guessing his name. I didn't even think about the Googling or the Facebook stalking a contestant. There's no time for it. I was able to do it, but it took me maybe two minutes.

So the process of it, we say, call now if you want to play, but you can guess your mum's name. You call. Yep. Executive intern Anya deals entirely solo with the calls and she keeps the name secret to herself just so because you won $100 if I guess it right. And you never ask for

surnames. Nah, I have no business with your last name. I don't need it. Not until you've won. Yeah. So then you just get a name and the only reason you get the mum and dad's name then and there is because the person on the phone, if they cheat, they could win $100. So you've got to say that's the name then

and to match it up at the end. But if the person listening now, Anna could send that name to you. Sure she could, but she actually hates it when you win, so she doesn't. Yeah, it drives me wild. I'll do anything to stop it. The more unusual your mum's name, the better. So, yeah.

Do you think we need a... My first question is, what are your mum's siblings' names? And she's like, well, they still live in France, but I think they're something like Pierre and... Then you're screwed. Do you think we need to get a policeman in here They still live in France, but I think they're something like Pierre and... Then you're screwed. Motel Rochefouin. Do you think we need to get a policeman in here for the next time we play this?

Like at the Lotto D'Or. Like, yeah, like, you know... An adjudicator. Yeah, an adjudicator, like a justice of the peace. But then also the video shows you not Googling, Vaughn. I do a lot of scribbling. The video's... Yeah, bloody hell. It hurts. It just hurts to have the accusation. Don't let them hurt you. It just hurts. Now, you've got a dinner dilemma, Vaughn. I do a lot of scribbling. The videos yeah, bloody hell. It hurts. It just hurts to have the

accusations. Don't let them hurt you. It just hurts. Now you've got a dinner dilemma Vaughn. I've got a dinner dilemma because the Auckland borders open next Wednesday. Yes. The 15th of December. Now my mother-in-law

hasn't seen our kids for ages and her other grandkids that live in Auckland, and she's just chomping at the bit to get up. She missed her son's 40th because of the border closure, and I know people have missed a lot of things, so it's going to be a big day for reuniting. However, there's a problem. It's also the night of the media screening of Spider-Man No Way Home.

Now, I've seen my mother-in-law, I'm guessing, upwards of a thousand times. And not much has changed. Yep. How many times have I seen Spider-Man No Way Home? Zero times. Now, this is the night before it's released worldwide, right? Correct. So you would be one of the first people in the world to see this movie.

This is insanely highly anticipated. Yep. It's going to be full of the first people in the world to see this movie. This is insanely highly anticipated. Yep. It's going to be full of twists and turns. Yep. There's the return of some villains. Who else is going to be in it? You know there's going to be surprises. And there's no way those surprises won't be spoiled for you.

It'll be online as soon as it happens. I need to see it before everybody else for my own maniacal reasons. But also, I daren't have this spoiled. Now, there's nothing at that dinner that could be spoiled if I delayed that to another time. Right. You know, like it's not going to be a big plot twist. Yeah.

Oh, Sade got a wine. Ah, who saw that one coming? Right. You know, have you floated this idea with your wife? So I said last night when I got the email with the date and the invite, I said, Spider-Man, are we home? This is awesome. We've got nothing on next Wednesday, do we?

And Shade said, that's when Mum's coming up for dinner. And I said, I don't really need to go to that dinner, though, do I? And she said, the movie will be on for ages. I said, your mum's not going anywhere either. So there was a bit of a dinner dilemma. A stoush, if you will. That I'm expected to attend this dinner and miss the premiere of the Spider-Man movie.

You're not going to find any resistance from me because... You love Spider-Man? I just love movies. to find any resistance from me because you love Spider-Man? I just love movies. And you know, I wouldn't want the surprise ruined. So, yeah, but I can imagine your wife will have an issue with this. Yeah, she thinks it's silly that I'm prioritising this movie. The Spider-Universe over...

Does she know what's going to happen when they open the multiverse? No, she doesn't. And she's excited? No, she's't. Yeah, right. Is she excited? No, she's not. Spider-Man top five superheroes. Would your mother-in-law care? If I wasn't there, she would probably prefer it. Okay, well, just less cheekiness.

That's what I need to get her on side. Okay. Because I'm assuming we're going to do that thing at the end of the dinner where she's like, I've got to go to the bathroom, and then she goes up and pays. Famously, I eat a lot. Especially, I'll eat more if there's a hint that somebody else is going to be paying.

So that could save her a lot of money if I wasn't there. Yeah, if you're ever paying for a table or a dinner, you never say that before. That's always a last minute thing. Yeah. Because then people order expensive drinks. I can tell in the vibe. Yeah, exactly. But I can pick up the vibes beforehand.

Okay. But I want to go to Spider-Man UC. Well, I don't know how you're getting out. Why don't you just go the next morning like to an early session and avoid the internet? Can I have the daft work? Absolutely not.

Well then, no. I could do an all-nighter. You know me and my all-nighters. What a party animal. Yeah. Dinner.-nighter. You know me and my all-nighters. What a party animal. Yeah. Dinner. Midnight screening. Spider-Man.

Keep us updated. My crystal ball says you're going to this dinner. I think your crystal ball might be on to something. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about silly string That stuff in a can And you press it and it goes

And squirts everywhere That's annoying to clean Yeah, really annoying to clean. It's horrible. And it will stain. If it's coloured silly string, I've found it will stain things. How much?

If it sits for too long. Right, how much silly stringing are you doing? On a silly string? Yeah, you do that quite a bit, silly string. No, I don't like it. Right. I kind of liked it if I didn't have to clean it up, but now that I'm a parent,

it's on my list of stuff I don't like. Slime. Yep. Silly string. Play-'t like. Slime. Yep. Silly string. Play-Doh. Play-Doh. Gooblek. What?

Gooblek. Is that what it's called? It's where you do the little bit of food colouring and cornflour and like just the right ratio of cornflour to water. Isn't that Play-Doh? Nah. Oh, okay. Play-Doh is like other stuff. Flour and that. Gooblek's like Play-Doh? Nah. Oh, okay. Play-Doh's like other stuff.

Okay. Flour and that. Gooblicks like Play-Doh except way slimier. Oh, just slime. And you tap it and it goes slime. It's that corn flour thing.

You tap it and it goes goopy and then it just sits and it's not goopy. Right. It's like liquefaction. Well, food colouring's never a good idea. But Gooblick.

Yeah. So Indy made some Gooblick and then she's like, this is my favourite lot of Gooblick. We've got the mix just right. And so she put it in a container and put it in her room and forgot about it and then like last week she's like, this is my favourite lot of gooblick. We've got the mix just right. And so she put it in a container and put it in her room and forgot about it.

And then like last week she was like, ah. And I was like, what's wrong? And she's like, the gooblick's alive. And it had like gone mouldy and grown like these massive spores. And I was like, don't open it. And then we like burnt it. Right. Because I didn't want what was in that gooblick getting out.

We were stealing with enough. Like a new variant. Yeah. The gooblick. The gooblick getting out. We're stealing with enough. Like a new variant. Yeah. The gooblick. The gooblick. Gooblick variant. Yeah. You got your Delta.

You got your Omicron. You got your ooblick. Yep. Watch out for your ooblick. So this is, no, but we're talking about Silly String. It was invented by two men, Leonard A. Fish and Robert P. Cox. Old Fish and Cox. Yep. And they were trying to invent basically a spray-on cast.

Oh, yeah. An instant cast. They wanted something where you could hold the arm in place, spray it on, and then it would set, and it would do like a temporary cast. It wasn't as good as the old plaster of Paris or the fiberglass wrap, but a temporary cast. Right.

Now, they invented, they got their foamy residue, resinous stuff at the right mix, but then they were like, we need to check nozzles. Yeah. So they tried two nozzles, one a wide spray and one a concentrated spray. And of course, when it came through, the concentrated spray, they just giggled.

They sprayed it and shot 30 foot across the room and they were like, that's amazing. Like, we're growing mene, hee, hee. We're growing men. Yeah. Clever scientist inventors. But heck, that brought us some joy. So they were like, well, let's take the stuff out that makes it sit hard.

Yeah. Test again. Still shot across the room. Hee, hee, hee. Ho, ho, ho. Hum, hum, hum, they said. But neither of them had any experience marketing toys. So they set up a meeting with Wham-O. Oh, yeah. A toy maker in California and went out there and they said. But neither of them had any experience marketing toys, so they set up a meeting with Wham-O.

Oh, yeah. A toy maker in California and went out there and they said, we have invented something and we call it Squibbly. Squibbly, okay. Which I think is a better name than Silly String. Yeah. Silly String tells you exactly what it is. Squibbly, there's an air of mystery.

But once you've played with Squibbly, it sticks with you forever. Sure. And they were like, oh, we absolutely love it. And so that's how it was born. How much did they make? Does it say how much they sold it to them for? Don't know. Because yeah, it's either on one hand, it's like you've already got a company that can get that into stores immediately, or do you try and do it yourself and make way more? Right. No, no, they went through it. Wow. It got licensed and produced by

Wham-O and a whole lot of colors. But today's fact of the day is, did you know that the US military used silly string to detect tripwires? Right, because it would land on the tripwire. It squirts far and it holds its form. Yeah. But it also is light enough not to set off a tripwire. So they spray it.

Like if there's a hallway, they'll spray it down the hallway to themselves. And if they see a bit where it's going up and over something, they'll identify if that's a tripwire. Nice. And then also, if it's somebody's birthday in the platoon, like Terry's celebrating his 24th, silly string him. Neat. And then you're like, yay, all fun and games.

And Terry's like, guys, this was such a great party. And then you're like, yay, all fun and games And Terry's like, guys, this was such a great party And then you're like, Terry, don't move And Terry's just about to step backwards into a tripwire Thank goodness for the silly string So today's fact of the day is silly string is used to detect tripwires by the US military Fact of the day Day day day day The only country with a young prime minister. How old is Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern? 40? 41 years old. 41.

Man, when you think of... What did Elon Musk say the other day? He doesn't think anyone over the age of... Was it 65 should be a prime minister or president? Because Joe Biden and Trump are so old? Yeah. Well, Finland... I think that's a fair call.

Finland's prime minister, she's 36 slash 37 in another article I read. So 36, 37. Her name is Sana Marin. Yep. I think I'm saying that right. Well, a bit of controversy there because she's had to apologise because she left her work phone at work.

I'm assuming she has two phones as prime minister. And she missed the text telling her that she needed to isolate because of COVID, and she went clubbing till 4 a.m. Finland have a prime minister that went clubbing till 4 a.m. Can you imagine that? How old? 36. Yeah. No, no.

Even there, no. Or even when you were 36. Gosh, no. Like just a few years ago. No. There's no. Even there, no. Or even when you were 36. Gosh, no. Like just a few years ago. No. There's no way you would have been. Not till that time. No, 4am.

Absolutely not. That's like. She's got a, if you just think she might be free, easy, single gal. Right. She's not. She's got a husband and a child. She got married last year. Right.

Well, just because you're prime minister, you don't need a not party. Although, could you imagine anything more punishing than being at the club and you're the prime minister? Are you a prime minister? But apparently the foreign minister in Finland tested positive and because she'd been around him. Right. Close contact.

Close contact. And yes, she had to not be in a packed club. But she is fully vaccinated. Yeah. But still. Close contact. Close contact. And, yes, she had to not be in a packed club. But she is fully vaccinated. Yeah. But still. But still. But a controversy there. Yeah.

Okay. Even if you weren't prime minister, what time did she get home? Well, that's when she left the club, so, yeah. She probably had a kebab afterwards. Oh, could you imagine how much lettuce will be on the floor of a kebab place at 4am? So much lettuce. It's bad enough at 2am. Yeah.

God, so much tabbouleh dropped off. Those little bits of tinfoil, when you're unwrapping it and the whole tinfoil doesn't come off at the moment, you put it on the table for later and then a light breeze blows. Or the fan they've always got in a kebab shop. Always a fan in a kebab shop. Always a warm-out in a fan doing some oscillation. Because they've got the meat slab Rotating next to the hot element That's going to be a hot place to sit next to

And a hot plate to put it on after And then you've got your hot chips as well Oh so much heat in a kebab So I'm absolutely God I need a kebab now I can see I had a kebab last night No night before

First kebab I've had in ages And Sade said Isn't it funny in England How kebabs are things people get When they've been drinking I said What are you talking about New Zealanders only eat things people get when they've been drinking? I said, what are you talking about? New Zealanders only eat kebabs when they've been drinking.

And she said, no, I've only ever had sober kebabs. And I said, who am I married to? And now divorce proceedings have begun. Haven't we been on a That's Without Her? I've said to her, I've definitely had a drunk kebab with you. And she said, well, I must have been so drunk, I can't remember. I said, you've got to get lots

of sauce on a drunk kebab because otherwise it can be very drying of the mouth. You've got to go sauce heavy and always get an accompanying drink, a beverage. Always. It can get a little dry down there. That's delicious. Pepsi Max. Stop.

They are fuelling both Spicy Hot Gossip and this hot kebab chat. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.