ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 9th June 2020

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

Top 6: Looney Tunes!  Who the Bloody Hell are Ya!?  The Treasure Hunt is finally over!  When did friendly competition put you in hospital?  Fletch did a thing  Level One Babyyy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Welcome to level one, bitch! Happy level one, yes. That was a surprise, I thought we were looking on Wednesday. Well yeah, I guess it makes sense, like, no one has to prepare for level one, do they? was a surprise. I thought we were looking on Wednesday. Well, yeah, I guess it makes sense. Like, no one has to prepare for level one, do they?

They just go back to normal. Yeah. I guess level, like, other levels, you have to get things in place, like cafes. That's true, yeah, yeah. Like, what are you going to do at your cafe this morning? Just push the tables together. Everybody's touching, baby. Smooching.

Andrew's going to be smooching all the old girls that come in again. Yeah, from Murray's Bay. It's going to be lining them up. Why Murray's Bay? Well, they be smooching all the old girls that come in again. Yep. From Murray's Bay. It's going to be lining them up. Why Murray's Bay? Well, they love smooching. Do they? They're big smoochers in Murray's Bay. In fact, if you go into Beaufort & Co. this morning

and you take in your ratepayers bill that proves your address is in Murray's Bay, big smooch for Mr. Toyboy. Men or women, he don't care. He's smooching all the customers this morning. Welcome back, babe. Bet you have to buy a coffee and a slice. Yeah. Free smooch he don't care. He's smooched all the customers this morning. Welcome back, babe. Bet you have to buy a coffee and a slice. Yeah. Free smooch with a coffee and a slice.

I'll let you smooch him if you're going to buy a coffee and a slice. It's good for the local economy. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing his part. Getting her back on her feet. Both the economy and the old girls. Getting them back on their feet.

Because they'll have to get up out of their walkers if they want to smirch him. Yeah. I've seen a lot of news headlines from all around the world saying how we're COVID free. Yeah. And a big picture of Jacinda. Yeah.

Us. I think Fiji announced yesterday they're COVID free. There are nine other countries that are COVID free. Yeah. Cook Islands. I'm...

We can go to Fiji. Yeah. I don't know. Are we allowed back in Rarotonga after that scooter incident? I've been back multiple times. You, however, have been blacklisted. I'm blacklisted for hurts. For multiple reasons.

Hurts, I think. From the Cook Islands. Technically, I didn't crash that scooter. It's not enough. Did you paint over the damage? No, we put mud over it. We glued it. over the damage? No, we put mud over it. We glued it. We glued the bumper back together and put mud over it.

And they never knew. Until after you'd left. It's been a long time. I think I can go back. Yeah. All right. And what? I love that place.

It's a beautiful place. Oh, my God. There's some eating to be had, am I right? All right. The top six coming up and some changes. Looney Tunes. Yeah. This is back.

This is HBO Max's most watched show, the new Looney Tunes. Can we get all the HBO stuff on Neon for us, isn't it? I don't know. Maybe. HBO Max is, yeah, it's their online streaming service. It's HBO and Warner Brothers go at Netflix. Right. And they've remade some Looney Tunes cartoons

in the style of old Looney Tunes. Your Alma Fudd's, your Daffy Duck's, your Bugs Bunny's, Yosemite Sam's, maybe Foghorn Leakhorn. But there's no guns. Oh. Alma Fudd always hunted with an open-ended... Muscly Webbit. Yeah, muscly shotgun-looking thing.

And Yosemite Sam had... That's right. Hit her and wrap it. What about... Shoot the... Yeah, muscadine shotgun looking thing. That's right. You don't rabbit. What about when they hunt the roadrunner? Yeah, anvils and TNT. I think anvil doesn't have a problem with people painting fake tunnels in high schools, do they? Yeah, true. So maybe when people start doing that every other week.

So the top six coming up. Yeah, the top six non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I love a success story. And this is from that. I particularly enjoy them when I'm having them. Everybody else's I find I lack a personal sort of connection to.

I can appreciate them. Right. But I always enjoy mine more. But do go on. I'm sure you'll appreciate this one. It's the TV show Eat Well for Less. You know, so they go into someone's house. I've seen the ads for this.

We've watched it. Yep. And they rig up the cameras. Michael Van Der Elzen, who saved me. You might remember I was stuck in the sand at Nuremberg Beach and he towed me out. That's right. And then his kids gave me heaps of shit about not deflating my tyres enough

and you don't stop when you're in the sand. So all that real helpful stuff. But he's on it. And the guy that owns the tasting shed, which is Ganesh. Ganesh Raj. Yes. Isn't too far from our house. Oh, right.

Okay. It's a tasting shed. He's good. This is the one where they rig up all the cameras in the supermarket. They watch them shop. Yeah. And then they look at what they've got in their house. Extreme pantry makeover.

Yeah, basically. So six months ago, this family consisting of parents, Jess and Simon, they did eat well for less. Right. Okay. I'm not shaming them

because they've come a long way, but I also just, I don't know how they spent this much money. So $150 a week, they got a meal box. Yeah. You know, like a delivered dinner. Yeah.

Like a My Food Fresh. Yeah. Box. Bag. Bag. Yep. So they got that. And then they would do two or three takeaway meals a week.

But then they would also spend $780 roughly a week on groceries. On, I don't know, a week. $700 a week? When they'd already got their dinners sorted. Yeah. It blows my mind. It's an expensive lunch,

isn't it? Did you see this episode? I didn't see this episode, no. Executive Intern Anya, you've seen this, you saw this episode. Yeah,

and it was mind-blowing the changes that they made from start to finish. Because this photo, they've lost so much weight, haven't they? Yeah. Well, they spent, it's $1,300 a week on food is what they all equated to. $68,000 a year. This show isn't made to help you lose weight.

No, no, no. It's made to help you realise that you don't need to be spending that much money. So it's not about the healthy food. Well, it is about the healthier options. Right. Like, I think this family was getting a lot of those microwaved meals where you peel the plastic, you pierce the fork,

you hate it for two minutes, you peel it back and you gobble it up. Yeah. They're saying, look, money-wise, you could do this with fresh stuff and it would be cheaper. Yeah, right. With the whole family. So there's two parents, three kids, and their family has lost 55 kgs between them.

And obviously now their weekly shop is 400 or 450. That's massive. Extra 800 bucks in their pocket a week. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves. No. Especially over lockdown. They weren't going anywhere. Yeah, how much money did we save in lockdown?

Yeah, so they're probably ready to go. Yeah. Wow. That's an epic change. That is a good success story. Yeah. All right, quarter past six. Next on the show, the most Googled celebrity homes.

In the world. People want to see what the insides of them look like. Or not like addresses. Or just like what we celebrities look like. In the world. People want to see what the insides of them look like. Or not like addresses. Or just like where celebrities live. In the world or New Zealand? In the world. Oh, I'm so not. I was Googling like.

I was like Richard McCall's house or something. Didn't he do one of those like G.J. Gardner's or something? No, no. He lives in a Skyline garage. Or a gotta get a garage. Gotta get a garage. Gotta get a Skyline. Or a whoa. Total span. ZM's F Gotta get a garage. Gotta get a skyline. Or a whoa.

Total span. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Google searches of celebrity homes have been analysed and there has been a top 10 list produced. The most Googled celebrity homes. I have never done that. Have you done that?

No. I've never Googled a celebrity home. But I guess maybe because of lockdown, it's got more people interested because a lot of people are doing Zoom and Skype. And like doing up their homes and stuff. Well, yeah, or you're just getting a peek and you're like, oh, I want to explore more of this home. Yeah.

Maybe. Okay. So the list, the top 10, Justin Bieber is the 10th most Googled celebrity home. Oh, because we got a good insight into his home from TikTok. Yes. He did heaps of TikToks. Ed Sheeran is at number nine because he's got a whole estate. He bought out his neighbours, didn't he?

Yeah. And just has a little Ed Sheeranville and a pub. Is the pub in his town? No. He owns a pub in London, though. That's close. Yeah, right. Jeffree Star is number eight.

Really? The makeup mogul? Yeah. Seventh equal, people Googling Ellen DeGeneres and Eminem's home. Because Ellen's home, I mean, we've only got one little corner of it on the show she's been doing, but that looks like it would be a monster. Yeah, but it's creepy. There's always a guy hanging outside the ranch, Slider. Have you seen that?

Is he always there? It's the producer. It's like social distancing. That was her gardener, and she was like, stand there so everyone can see you. You're being a naughty gardener. Social distancing.

Next on the list, Tom Brady, the NFL player in America. He's the sixth most Googled celebrity home. Lionel Messi, footballer, number five. PewDiePie. Oh, yeah. Internet dude. Yeah, internet guy, YouTuber, four. Elon Musk, three.

Although he's just... Oh, that'd be a weird house. He's just sold all his houses. He doesn't want any homes now. Material belongings. Where's he staying? I think he's just renting, isn't he? He doesn't want to own any.

Staying at a Bella Vista. Don't try and understand him. Yeah. It's a special guy. Imagine being a fly on the wall with those in that relationship and everything. So weird. Yeah. Will Smith a special guy. Imagine being a fly on the wall with those in that relationship and everything. So weird. Yeah.

Will Smith is in its second equal with Kylie Jenner. Oh, yeah. Okay. What's Will Smith's house look like? Oh, I've seen one of those ones like Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are selling their house. And it's like one of those sprawling like 18 million room mansions. $42 million mansion. It looks like it's got a basketball those sprawling, like, 18 million room mansions. $42 million mansion. It looks like it's got a basketball court and a tennis court side by side.

Oh, no, you just put... Wow, it looks like Disneyland. You have two lots of lines on one court. It's too big, though, isn't it? It looks like Disneyland. Would you want, like, an 18 room... Whoa. That is massive.

It looks like a hotel resort. Yeah. In, like, Palm Springs or something. No wonder Willow and Jaden are so weird. They haven't seen their parents in two weeks. They can't find them. They get lost all the time. Yeah.

And the number one most- Can I guess? Yeah. Is it Chris Hemsworth? No. Oh, that's a good guess. I thought there was who? Heaves of chat.

You said Kylie Jenner, eh? Yep. Kim Kardashian. Yes. Oh, yeah. Her minimalistic weird house. Because you remember her bathroom kind of was in the news a few years ago because it was like minimalistic.

Because it didn't have a sink and everyone's like, where does the water go? That's right, it was a slightly tapered. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I mean, that's cool, but it looks like a concrete bunker. Like, would you want to live here?

Yeah. It's like cool for like a magazine shoot or something, but it just looks cold. Also, I wonder if the other Kardashians are like, hey, we've got houses too. Like Kylie and come first and second. Yeah. Kendall's house is probably really nice.

It's got like a pretty cool apartment. I'd like to see her house. Yeah, okay. Well, you can Google. Courtney, I'd like to see Courtney's house. Rob, I'd imagine his house is like curtains closed a lot. Yeah. Lots of, like it's always dark.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Rob, open a window, bud. All right, the top six is next on the show. Looney Tunes, the rebooted Bugs Bunny will not have guns. Alma Fudd, Yosemite Sam, no guns. The top six non-lethal replacements next. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the

ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Looney Tunes is back on HBO Max. You've got your classic Looney Tunes. You all remember Alma Fudd.

And he always had a shotgun, whether it was duck hunting season or rabbit hunting season or whatever part of the song got spun around. Was it a sawn-off shotgun? No, it was a comical single-barrel shotgun. It was just a little one, but that's because he's a little fella. Yeah, he was. And Yosemite Sam had the guns that he'd shoot into the ground.

The six shooters. Well, times have changed. If you watch some of those old cartoons, some of it's pretty inappropriate. Really? And a lot of the sexual innuendo stuff probably went over your head as a kid. Yeah. There's a lot of... Sexual innuendo?

No money tunes? Yeah, Bugs Bunny dressed up as, like, female Bugs Bunny and, like, smirched dudes to get out of problems and, like, flashed them and stuff. The bunny tunes. Yeah, Bugs Bunny dressed up as like female Bugs Bunny and like smirched dudes to get out of problems and like flashed them and stuff. Oh, yeah. It was a lot of that. Kinky. Yeah, a lot of kink.

You're just kind of like, ha, when you're a kink. Probably explains furries. Yeah, probably, yeah. Where that all came about from. Again, not kink shaming, just trying to identify the origins of your sexual interests. But the guns have got to go. They've said there's a lot of guns and they won't be happening in the reboot.

Guns, these are still aimed well. Parents will have a nostalgic feel to it, you know, and, you know, already know the characters and feel related. They think that the new kids that would be involved probably don't need guns as much. So the top six today

is the top six lethal, non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes. Yep. Because they still need two things. Being hurt is still funny. Yep. And loud noises scare people.

Yeah. So those are your two things. So number six on the list of the non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes, a low coffee table. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that'll drop you hard. Oh, yeah, right in the shin.

And down you go. Number five on the list of the top six non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes, a door that slams shut and bangs and scares you every time if one of the windows is left a little bit open. Every house has got one. And sometimes the door will squeak, so you hear it going, and you'll be like,

block your ears. Bang! I don't know what it is. Jeez. Any wind current in that door is just like, I'm a slamming. Number four on the list of the top six non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes,

a kitchen table that's been moved a few inches. You know how you become very used to where your kitchen table is? Yeah. And then it gets moved a few inches and you'll like kick your toe on the corner. Or it digs into you. Yeah.

Oh, the hip. Oh, yeah. Right in the hip. It's like when you're going through a door and your gene loop gets caught on the little door. Oh, yeah. I've had that. And all of a sudden

you're like, stop shit, get in your tracks. It takes you ages to get off. Hard one. Number three on the list of the top six

non-lethal replacements for guns in Looney Tunes. This one will hurt you. A deck that needs water blasting after some light rain. Very slippery. Yeah.

You know I've fallen over on the deck. Down the stairs. I never have time to put my hands out to catch me. Straight on the ass, eh? Yeah. Ouch. Or straight on the back hurts because you're like...

Funny noise, though. Number two on the list of the top six lethal replacement, non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes. The Remastered for 2020. A shower that goes from really hot to really cold with the tiniest of movements. Non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes. Either Remastered for 2020. A shower that goes from really hot to really cold with the tiniest of movements. Like you've got to... It's like, ah, cold! Ah, hot!

Yeah! Trying to find that Goldilocks zone. And number one on the list of the top six non-lethal replacements for guns and looney tunes. A car that backfires as it drives past. Yeah. You're walking in the street and a car goes past and backfires. You're like, ah! No reason to be scared in your affluent neighbourhood,

but you're always assuming the worst. That is today's Top Socks. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Level one. Happy level one. No active cases. Long gone. Nice work.

Brilliant. Let me tell you about the Monastic Academy. The monastic? Monastic. Hmm. Close enough tell you about the Monastic Academy. The monastic? Monastic. Close enough. Yeah, one of those words. Like a monastery. Like a monastery.

I'm guessing it's got its origins in monastery. Monastic Academy. I'm at their website. This is in Vermont in America. It is a training center dedicated to creating wise, powerful, and loving leaders who are an unstoppable force for social and environmental peace on earth. And they've even got a quote at the top of their website. Fletch, you'll like this one.

Okay. We don't rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our training. Ooh. So you're only as good as you can be prepared to be. So just be prepared. I think Scar said it best in The Lion King when he said, Be prepared.

So you can come. You can just do a few hours or a few weeks. There's lots of, like this one's like the real deal, like the sitting with the crossed legs and the hands. Is that what constitutes the real deal for you? The real deal. And you've got to be silent. Do you have to be silent?

Yep. And there's all these areas that there's no talking in. No way. 181 hours of meditation is the average per resident per month. So you imagine every month you're doing 181 hours solid meditation. No contact with the outside world. You just lock yourself in. Yep.

And you are... And let her play with yourself. I don't think that counts as meditation. Let me, um, yeah. Do an FAQ? As long as you can promise to be silent. Yeah, there is an FAQ. Our work, FAQ, lots of FAQs.

That's why I probably need to do a keyword search. Okay. What should I keyword search? Play with yourself? What are you searching? And a silent retreat. God, it's a long time to be silent if you're not playing with yourself. No, you can't.

It's easier on this one here. What does it say? You're not allowed to. You can't talk. You can't read. You can't use your phone. You can't smoke. You can't make eye contact with other participants, you can't masturbate and you can't leave until the morning of the whatever day you

finish your retreat. What are you supposed to do? Just meditate? Yeah. Wow. Well, Daniel Thorsten did that. He hosts a podcast and he came out of his 75 day silent retreat isolated from the world at the end of May. Now, you may remember May and the preceding 75 days was a pretty wild ride. How much would the world have changed? He went in at about March 8th. Okay, so that was, we knew that it was happening.

We knew that COVID was out there. We didn't have alert levels then, though. Did we have a confirmed case in New Zealand? Yes. We did have a confirmed case. Oh, that's right, because it was after the Tool concert. February. And remember, the Tool concert was a worry because they said a guy had been

and he had COVID, and if you were in the front left-hand corner, you had to watch it. But everyone was taking it pretty casual. And he's in America. The president was saying right into March, there's no problem here. It was fake. He called it a democratic hoax.

Distraction. Yeah. And said, oh, this will disappear. And so, yeah, at that stage, if you were listening to Donald Trump, I don't know why you would, you'd probably go into a 75-day retreat with no worries. So he came out to a completely different world. I bet.

What a shock. Yeah, he said, I noticed everyone he came out to a completely different world. I bet. What a shock. Yeah, he said, I noticed everyone at the supermarket seems a bit more anxious. Oh, mate. You missed the real anxious supermarket times. He probably didn't even have a trip to the supermarket without being able to buy toilet paper. Oh, yeah, that's true. He would have missed all that. And he just said he's decided to declare a notification bankruptcy.

So that's when you come out and you've got so many unread messages and DMs and notifications that you just wipe them all and you're like, hit me up again if it was important. Yeah, right. Because he said all it was was people asking him what he was doing and has he got it and has the retreat got it and everything. But he said it was complete silence and isolation for 75 days. Would you want to know?

Because, like, I mean, you missed a lot, but then do you really want to hear about it? Would you just write it off? He's probably had the most chill 75 days of anyone on the planet. Yeah. And then he comes out and he's like, whoa, this is... You get a shock, but it's not... Undoing all my meditation.

And the person in the monastery in the office is like, hello. How many people? Oh, my God, the place is falling to bits. And someone's like, hey, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Don't worry about it. You guys go back to meditating, like the real deal meditating with the crossed legs and everything.

Oh, my God, we're screwed. So, yeah, it's a completely different world. Wow. And then it came out and was just getting a grasp of that. So yeah, it's a completely different world. Wow. And then it came out, it was just getting a grasp of that and then George Floyd's, oh yeah, of course, murdered. Oh Lord.

Yeah, and the whole thing kicks off. It's crazy. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I really want to know who the bloody hell are you? Who the bloody hell are you? We've got a minute of yes, no questions to then it culminates in one guess each as to who the celebrity is.

Cam joins us this morning. Good morning, Cam. Good morning. Now, you've been given a celebrity by executive intern Anya producer. Anya producer. We've got a guess. Okay, but yes, no questions for an entire minute. And then you

only get one guess, Fletch. I feel like you're going to be the one to stuff up the rules. I got it last week. Remember that? Yeah. I guessed straight away, didn't I? You didn't answer any questions to get there, though. You just rocked in at the end with the answer. Yeah, well, I'm very thoughtful. I don't just blurt it out.

All right, Cam, let's try and work out who you are. Vaughn, are you ready? Yeah. All right, one minute. Let's start now. Do you identify as a male? No. Are you an actor?

No. Actress? Are you a singer? No. Are you a singer? No. Are you just like a celebrity? Yes. Reality star? No.

Are you on the TV? Yes. Are you a news presenter? Yes. Are you from New Zealand? Yes. Do you present the news by yourself or with someone else? Someone else. Everybody does it with somebody else.

Is the show on at 7 o'clock? Yes. Is the show on TVNZ1? Yes. I know who it is. We have done so well. Do you work with Jeremy Wells? Yes.

Are you the cool auntie of the nation? Yes. We don't even need the rest of our time, right? Does your name rhyme with Smillery Rary? Yes. Yeah! Teamwork makes the dream work. Yeah, it was so good.

Are you Hilary Barry? Yes. I got it again. No. He's Millery Cary. That was. I got it again. No. It's Millery Carey. That was just too easy, Cam. Too easy. Congratulations.

Vaughan will find something from the office. It's what we're doing in COVID times now. Vaughan goes into the office. And picks something. And then we just. And that's your prize. Pop it in a bag. Put your name on it.

Fantastic. Great. I wonder if anyone's got their dog at work today. Would you like a dog? Vaughn? Where's my dog gone? Oh, Vaughn gave it away. Not the first time he's done that.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. The Finn treasure has been found. I remember talking about this on the show years ago. So in 2010 was when the book came out called The Thrill of the Chase, a memoir by Forrest Fenn, who is now 89, so 79 when the book came out. And he's an art collector, a real eccentric dude.

I've never read the book, but I think the book would be interesting. Talks about all of his treasures, and in there he puts a poem and a map in his book pointing to a $1 million treasure. So he had this treasure? Yeah, he got a treasure chest.

There is pictures apparently of the treasure chest. I haven't seen them, but apparently a weathertight treasure chest. And he put an array of stuff in there like actual gold, Chinese carvings in jade, so like greenstone, all of these artefacts and this art. And he said the total value at the time of burial was worth a million dollars. So over the decade, it's probably significantly more. Probably worth way more.

And the fact that it now has a story. Yeah. Of being the Fen treasure. So he released a map and it was just pretty much the Rocky Mountains. Yeah. And a poem, 24 line poem. And he said within that poem is the exact spot of where you will find the treasure. So this was 10 years ago.

Five people died looking for this treasure. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Now you've got to think about this treasure was, he reckons he put it in place. He didn't necessarily have somebody hide it for him. So it had to have been accessible to a 79 year old man, which

was when people said he wouldn't have been able to find a sheer ice face. He could have helicoptered. Yeah, true. Could have paid someone to helicopter him there, but then like the helicopter pilot could have just turned around and gone back and got the treasure. Yeah, true. Could have paid someone to helicopter him there, but then the helicopter pilot could have just turned around and gone back and got the treasure at a later date. Yeah, true.

So he has revealed, however, this week that somebody finally found his treasure. He's been contacted by a man who was from back east, so the east coast of America, and he said, I found the treasure, and here is a photograph of me with the treasure, and this is the location I found it, and he said it all checks out. That is where the treasure is of America. Yeah. And he said, I found the treasure and here is a photograph of me with the treasure. And this is the location I found it. And he said, it all checks out. That is where the treasure is. Wow.

So I am equal parts glad. Yep. That somebody found it, but sad that it's over. What if he died before someone had found it? But all the clue was in the poem. I know, but he wouldn't have had that satisfaction. Oh, he wouldn't have had the satisfaction of knowing But it doesn't sound like that was satisfying for him

He wanted it to be unfound Yeah That's like the ultimate geocache You have a geocache and then you get there And it's a button and a safety pin You're like woo And a matchbox car You'd be like I'm great it's treasure

And when you open one there was nothing in it You'd be like this is still fun treasure. Yeah. And when you open one, there was nothing in it. You'd be like, ah, this is still fun. I just found something. I found a Tupperware container. Was there any more details on where it was? Like, was it in a hard to reach spot? No, he hasn't revealed whereabouts. He used to, right?

Because people have died trying to find this. You have to reveal where it was. Yeah, and was it like close to where people died? He hasn't said, oh, I need more data. And he may never. He's still,

he's like, I reckon, hide another treasure. I reckon. I reckon do another treasure. And we talked about this, more rich people need to do this sort of stuff.

Yeah. I know. How much money does Jeff Bezos need? Bezos. Bozos. Bezos. You're right though. Bozos. Jeff. Bezos need? Bezos. Bozos. Bezos. You're right, though.

Bozos. Jeff. Bozos. Jeff Bozos. Yeah. I would do this kind of stuff all the time. I would never need to be that rich. I'd do something like this before I bought a boat.

It doesn't even have to be a million. So I'd never use the boat. Like, put $10,000 worth of coins in a chest and I'd hunt for it. Yeah. This is what the Department of Conservation needs to do to get people walking on the tracks. They're like, we were going to save the kakapo, but we decided to do a treasure hunt instead. But you're right, that would get people out in the backcountry,

wouldn't it? But it would get people all over the track, off the track. Yeah, no. When you're supposed to stay on the track. And probably that million dollars they spend for search and rescue will kind of defeat the purpose of any prize. Yeah, but bring back a clear out a possum or a stoat or a ferret out of one of those little traps on the side.

Yeah. And you can have a clue. Well, while New Zealand entered level one at midnight and everyone can just relax a little bit more. A little vigilance is still required. Yeah. But everybody's lax and loosening. Security here seems to have got tighter.

I don't know the story behind this, but I walked in this morning and there is a safe on the desk in the producer's booth and it says upon it, Jared's safe. Which indicates to me producer Jared has a safe now. Yeah. I don't know what for, and I don't know what has caused this, for the latest member of the team, this distrust. Yeah. Is he putting his vape juice in there?

Well, as the only vaper. Yeah. As far as I know, on the entire ZM team. No one's nicking his vape juice. No one's nicking his vape juice. No one's nicking his vape juice. So let's inquire. Let's make some inquiries. Jared, good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Jared's safe. It's just in front of you. Written in your best handwriting. Jared's safe. My safe. Now is that in...

Don't come in. Pens off. Is that in one of those silver pens for writing on black paper or is that a twink pen? It's a chalkboard pen. A chalkboard pen. Oh, okay. Fancy. Okay.

Why? I don't actually have anywhere to put things in the office. It's just in the drawer there. Yeah, you're right because we... What do they call it? Hot desk. We hot desk. Yeah.

So we don't have a desk that's ours. No drawers that are ours. Right. I just have a school bag. Yeah, I got a desk. Yeah. So we don't have a desk that's ours. No drawers that are ours. Right. I just have a school bag. Yeah, I got a bag. Yeah. I got a school bag too. And then you go home.

What's in your safe? Oh, I'll open it. Now, so you need a four-digit pin. No way. How many digits? There's eight. Oh, no. Did you change the settings on that safe?

I put the wrong code in. Well, they all sound the same. Oh, there we go. Oh, no, I can't open it. Why not? I don't know. You're not holding it flat. I think it's got to be flat on the desk, doesn't it?

Because you've tilted the safe there. That's an anti-theft device. Right. Yeah. How do you know about that? I've cracked a few safes in my time. How do you know about that? I've cracked a few saves in my time. Don't you worry

about that. So inside I've got some gum. Oh my God. No, you're right. People would steal that. People would steal that gum. I would steal that gum.

I don't even eat gum. That's my favourite flavour of extra. Is that the lime one? Lemon lime, yep. That's good. That's my fave. Lemon lime,

that would follow up nicely with that coconut lime mouthwash that you use, which I still haven't tried. Oh, I've run out now. I've gone back to plaques. Anna, do you want us to do a tight five on Listerine?

No, thanks. We could just refrain from all mouthwash segments on the show. We talked about mouthwash last week, and we haven't hit the end of it. So it's riveting radio of 2020. I like to see what she's saying, what are you doing next? I often say, I'm thinking about revisiting the mouthwash. Let's not go down a mouthwash rabbit hole.

Okay, what else is in the same? I've got about 30 mocha sachets. Oh, okay, Auntie Jared. When did you become a boomer and do coffee sachets? I've been paying attention to you, Fletch. No, but you get a jar. It's cheaper. Is it?

Do you have the little chocolate sprinkles? No, mine don't come with chocolate. No, he's not getting cappuccinos. Sorry. He's getting the Macona sachets. Just the individual sachets. Bad for the planet, though, Jared. Oh, yeah.

Let's get a jar, please, and put that in your safe. What else is in there? I've also got a little box of tea. Oh, my. Let's get a jar, please, and put that in your safe. What else is in there? I've also got a little box of tea. Oh, my God. Okay. And then, most importantly, a stack of pens that have not been chewed. Oh! Yeah.

There's someone here that chews pens. Okay, now I want it on that safe. We've got a real pen chew around here. Yeah. Wow. Chew the ass out of all of our pens. I thought you'd have a couple of LeSnacks in there Because you're big on your LeSnacks

I love my LeSnack but There'd be no room in there For a big box There wouldn't be a lot of room left It's pretty snug yeah All the coffee and pens it's running close on space I love that that is what That's like good stuff around here

All of that is very stealable Those look like Bic pens too. They're from my old place of employment, Pack and Save. Yeah. How many did you steal on the way out? Oh, this is a drop in the ocean of Pack and Save pens I have at home.

I didn't know that they were throwing you the beers ever faster than most of their pens. You can get pens there. Well, because we have to sign stuff and then we'd clip the pen onto our shirt or something and then leave. And then you've got like four pens stuck to your shirt. Could they press charges now, Gerrit? Should you be saying this?

Or statute of limitations. No, that's not a thing in New Zealand. They'll definitely chase them down all these years later for some pen. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Bluff or stuff. All right, playing this morning. Tash, good morning. Morning.

Is it Tash or Tash? Tash. Tash. She's an Australian. Okay. I'm going to say Tash. Yeah, but that is a matter in New Zealand. A Tash and a Tash are both.

I'll take anything, whatever. Is it short for Natasha? Yeah. Then it's Tash. Okay, Tash. Well, take anything, whatever. Is it short for Natasha? Yeah. Then it's Tash. Okay, Tash. Well, up for grabs today. We've been trying to give this away for a long time, but it's a hard competition, this one.

We have up for grabs a Dolce Gusto Nescafe coffee machine. In no way... We had to buy this, didn't we? So we're not obliged to say that it's better than Nescafe or better than Nespresso. Isn't it the same people? No, one's Nescafe.

No, one's Nescafe and one's Nespresso. Oh, isn't... Yeah, it's the same people, isn't it? Nescafe do Nespresso, hence the name Nuh. Now Vaughan's got to Google. It's the same people. It's Big Coffee.

It is Nescafe. George Clooney and Big Coffee. The Big Coffee industry. I didn't, I don't, I don't. Nestle, you're dead right. It's Nespresso. Nestle Nespresso. Trading as Nespresso as an operating unit of the Nestle Group.

God damn Nestle Group. Bloody everywhere, aren't they? Fingers in everything. All everywhere, aren't they? Fingers in everything. What's that? It's a finger from Nespresso. All right, Tasha. Your job is now to work out which one of us is holding the coffee maker machine.

Okay, now I can tell you that I'm holding it because it's got a nice kind of a plastic handle, you'd say at the top. Who's ever described a plastic handle as a nice plastic handle? He's got to describe the handle because he can't see it from where I'm holding it. Excuse me, I can feel it in my hand and it's nice because it's not digging in like some plastic handles. I mean, you wouldn't be able to feel that one because you're not holding the box.

Can your whole hand fit under that handle? Yep. No, it cannot. Mine can. He's not wrong. I've just picked it up. I'm holding it. He's not actually wrong about the handle.

It's not a cutty in plastic handle. Smooth urges. You can see that from where I've got it. This one is going to look great on your bench, regardless of your kitchen colour scheme, Tash, because it comes in piano black. It goes with everything, doesn't it? Yeah.

You can see that from the box that I'm holding. Piano black. Megan's pretending to be in on this. I'm waiting for my turn. What does it say on the box? So it says you can have a hot or cold function. I'm going to hold. I'm hiding the box.

What? I'm hiding the box so you can't read it. Sure. Okay. You should put your hands to the side. It's called a Piccolini. Yeah, it's got a hot and cold function. These are the boxes that you get from the supermarket.

That's the capsules to fill the spire. Did you just hear me bang the box? Here's the interesting thing about the box, Tash. It was me as I was moving it. I was waiting. It shows that the Dolce Gusto has a power cord, yet at the end of the power cord there's no prongs on, you know the traditional New Zealand three-prong plug?

No, it doesn't show anything. I'm imagining that is so this box can be used anywhere in the world. Yeah, good on them for the personal jokes. All right, Tash, I'd like you to eliminate one of us. Okay. I think I'm you to eliminate one of us. Okay. I think I'm going to eliminate Fletch. Correct. Correct, yes.

Stop holding it. Okay, so now, now you need to eliminate Vaughn or Megan. Now, who is holding that box? Who do you think is holding it? I'll give you a last-minute piece of information to persuade you in my direction. Oh, it's got cute little icons above the barcode. I can see because I'm holding it right in front of my face.

Cute little pictures of all the different machines above the barcode. Is that what that is? Yeah, I know you can't see it from there. Okay, Tasha. I don't even want to hear my piece of information. Bluff or stuff, who is holding it? It holds 0.6 of a lawn.

Leave it for two delicious cups of coffee. Okay, I think I'm going to say that Megan's holding it. Okay, you want to lock in Megan? Oh, yeah. Are you sure? Oh, don't do this to me. Okay, well, maybe I should lock in Vaughn. Are you sure?

No, okay, I'm having Megan. I'll just stick with my gut. Okay. Okay. Okay. Are you sure? Well, okay. I'll have Vaughn.

Really? Are you sure? Final answer. Okay, Megan. I'll have to go Megan. I'll stick with my gut. Okay, stick with your gut. That's our final answer.

And you are incorrect. I'm so sorry, Tosh. We can't give this thing away. We are giving them so many plugs. Gee, we can't give this thing away. We are giving them so many plugs. Isn't this like the sex time? I'm pretty good at lying. We've never said if it's any good or not. We've just described all of its features,

which I'm sure every coffee machine has. Yeah, hey, thanks for playing, Tash. How's about Megan? What a lying bitch. I'm so sorry. How are you so good? Lots of practice. So two teenage girls ended up challenging each other to a squat challenge.

This was done over the internet chat. I guess boredom was part of it. I managed to escape anyone tagging me in those. Do a push-up challenge. Oh, yeah. People, excuse me, I'm bored. People, sorry, I'm just very bored. People who I'm friends with on Facebook

know better than to tag me in that. They know that that's the end of the tag. If, they know that that's the end of the tag. If I get tagged, that's the end of the tag. It's not going any further. I had a couple of people on Facebook that were doing squats and press-up challenges during lockdown. I was like, I don't need this rubbed in my face. Back to my biscuits.

Yeah. So, Xiao Tang is her name. She is in China. She was talking to a friend over the internet, and they decided, I don't know why, they wanted to see who had the most stamina. Okay. So they started to do squats.

Now- Were they holding a squat or were they- No, doing up, down, up, down. Just body squats. Just body squats. Okay. However, they ended up doing what they reckon would have been about a thousand squats.

Were they going to have sore hammies? No one won. Yeah. They ended up doing what they reckon would have been about a thousand squats. Were they going to have sore hammies? No one won. They ended up saying, look, we're both sore, let's just call it. And they hung up. Unconcerned, a little bit sore. Yep. Went to bed, woke up the next day, and she said her leg wasn't only sore, but she couldn't bend it. Then she went to the bathroom and her wheeze was brown.

What's brown wheeze mean? That's when she went to the hospital and she was diagnosed with rhabdomyolysis, which is a condition that's caused by skeletal muscle injury. Dead muscle fibres. Jeez. Due to extreme levels of exercise are released into the bloodstream. Oh my god! And then what? It goes to

the liver and kidneys? So this, she had serious issues with her kidneys and it could have caused kidney failure and death. This is why you shouldn't do squats. Her body was unable to remove waste and her urine became tea coloured.

Wow. Because they did over a thousand squats. So was it just one of the girls? The other girl was fine? Oh, I don't actually know about the other girl. She's probably dead. Has someone checked on her? I don't know.

But she also said she wasn't used to the exercise. So it doesn't sound like they weren't fitspo. How did she do a thousand squats? When you get back into the gym, if you haven't done legs for ages and you do squats, there's only so many you can do before you start, like, getting sore. And, like, you know, when you get the next day, you, like, fall onto the toilet because you're so sore. Imagine how sore she was. She couldn't even bend her legs.

But she wasn't a quitter. She wasn't a quitter. And we wonder why China's an economic powerhouse. Because they don't quit. They don't quit. Yeah. But the two of these girls were so competitive, they ended up in hospital.

I would have thought it would have just been the lads that got into these. Well, these are two girls. I know. Yeah. We can be just as competitive and stubborn. I know, but guys just love to show off more, don't they? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it'll probably be slightly more weight in the favour of dudes. Trying to do competition. But maybe not. Physical acts of competition

to impress the ladies. It could be an eating comp, though. You decide to have an eating comp with your friend. Oh, yeah. And then... And you vomit.

Or something happens. You have a little vomit. Yeah. All right, so you want to take some calls. It's a competition that ended in injury. Yeah.

So maybe you challenge your friend or co-worker at something, whether or not it was a physical challenge or whatever. Maybe like this girl, you didn't end up in hospital straight away. It was the aftermath the next day. Talking about when a competition between mates ended in injury or hospital. This rubbed up. So many people are messaging and who have had it.

This is where you do so many exercises or squats that it messes with your kidneys. All the dead muscle cell goes into your bloodstream and then your kidneys filter it out but then it can't do anything else and then you pee like brown stuff.

So just don't go crazy. And they say it can cause death. Apparently it was an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Was it? Did Apparently it was an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Was it? Did you not see that episode of Grey's Anatomy? No, sorry. I haven't watched all 84 seasons of Grey's Anatomy.

Vaughn vehemently hates Grey's Anatomy. I don't know why. Because of Denny, that's why. Because they killed off Denny. They killed off Denny. Some text messages in on when competition got well out of hand We were having a competition I mean, this had written all over it

We were on a roof Oh no And we were running and jumping off that roof Onto the roof of the place next door Oh God First person got it Second person got it Third person slipped

And it was just like in the movies Just disappeared from sight and broke their ankle when they hit the ground. Oh, gee. They're lucky that's kind of all that. Exactly. Fram, when did the competition between friends end in hospital? Oh, my God.

Do you guys remember the glass Ribena bottles? Oh, yeah. Glass Ribena? No. I remember them. Oh, like in the 90s. They were heaps fun. They were like the glass Coke bottles. Oh, yeah. Glass Ribena? No. I remember them. Oh, like in the 90s. They were heaps fun.

They were like the glass Coke bottles. Okay. But I didn't even know I was in a competition with my sister to see who could drink it faster. And she got so aggressive, she bashed it out of my hand and cracked off my two front teeth. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So, they were my permanent teeth. So, they're still half filling and half tooth. Oh, my gosh. So they were my permanent teeth. So they're still half filling and half tooth.

Oh my gosh. So did she win? I think so. She's always been a bit of a winner. Fran drank through the blood, drank the broken glass. Came out victorious. Indeed. Hey, thanks you call Fran. Jess, when

did the competition end up in injury? My dad and his best mate used to have tea towel flicking competitions. We sort of grew up in a household that was tea towel flicking competitions. And one night they'd had a couple, you know, a couple bevies, as you do. Yep. And my dad managed to get his best mate in the bottom of the gut and split his kidney. What? With a tea towel, yeah.

Who knew you could do that? Yeah, so he ended up with a hematoma all across the bottom of his gut and in severe pain and, yeah, had to go into ED because he had actually, yeah, burst his kidney by doing it. Oh, I bet your dad felt bad. Yeah, I mean, that was 25 years ago and and I mean, it still gets brought up now. But he won. He won. That's a win for life.

It is. Hey, G6, you cool? Connor, when did competition end in injury? Well, I'm a primary school teacher, and I was having a friendly competition with one of the other teachers at school, and we did up an obstacle course around the field. And I thought it would be a good idea to go full force on it, and I jumped over a mini high jump, I may say, and I tripped, and I did one of those slow falls to the ground in front of a whole bunch of five and six-year-olds and broke my wrist and ended up in the hospital. Did the kids laugh?

No, they were kind of a bit stunned. They all just kind of sat there and just stared at me for a while. Did you cry? Did you show them your weakness? Yeah. No, no, no. I got up. I was all good.

Of course. I would have gone back to the classroom for a cry by myself. You can stay here. Hey, thanks. You're cool, Connor. Jenna, when did a competition between friends end in hospital? It was actually me and my sister. I was like 10 and she was about 7.

Yeah. But we decided just to see who could run around in circles for the longest. So it got to about 10 minutes and she got so dizzy and fell over and actually ended up cutting her head open on one of the chairs. Wow. She passed out because the blood squirting out of her head and actually we had to like card her to hospital and she ends up getting 12

stitches in her head. Oh my god, but you won Jenna. You won Jenna. Well, yeah, I guess I did, didn't I? Oh my god. Wow. Oh my god, brilliant. Jenna, thanks for your call. I ended up with a hernia reads this text message. It got partnered with a guy at the gym. I didn't want to let him down

so I agreed with him on a weight. It was way too heavy for me. Did a whole lot of thrusters and a burpee over the bar and then a few days later the pain turned out to be a really nasty hernia. Oh, ouch. Oh my god. I'm a radiographer. I see many stupid competitive injuries. I once saw

a husband and wife in their 50s. He came in with a smashed hand over an overzealous game of paper, scissors, rock. That would have been like paper beats rock and she would have been like, does it? Correct. And last weekend, my husband was racing my son down the luge,

came off, broke his ankle. Oh, many a luge race has ended in that dream. That's why they say don't race and they stick to the track. But that's just so that when you break your ankle, they can go. Told you. Told you. We've got joined on the phone right now by microbiologist Dr. Susie Wiles.

Good morning. Good morning. Happy level one. Are we clapping? Yay. Happy level one. Are we clapping? Yay. Does level one make you a little bit nervous that we're all going to go all that crazy, Susie? Oh, well, I think we've been going steadily crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, look, the whole reason for going down the alert level slowly was so that if there was virus out there, as we started doing more of the activities where the virus can spread really well, we would start to see that. And so it's very promising that we haven't seen anything so far. I would have liked a couple more days maybe. But, you know, the fact that there was lots of activity the weekend before last and we haven't seen any cases from that should make us feel pretty confident that we've, you know, that we don't have the virus kind of hidden away out there.

So it's an absolutely amazing achievement, really, really, especially when we look at what is going on, you know, in the rest of the world. It's just horrifying outside of New Zealand. Yeah. So are you pretty confident to shake hands and give hugs and stuff now? Oh, that's a great question because actually, you know, there are lots of people who don't like to do those kinds of things. And one of the things that I would love for us to take away from this

is the fact that actually we could use that as the first kind of line of consent around how somebody wants to be greeted, how somebody wants somebody in their personal space, right? So I think at the moment everybody's very awkward about this. Do we hug? Do we not? Why not use that as a, hey, are you a hugger or are you not a hugger? And if somebody's not a hugger, then, you know, there are lots of alternatives that don't require contact

that still say exactly the same thing. I'm just a bit creeped out about shaking hands because we went so long without, like, touching each other, especially hands. And then that's absolutely fine. So, you know, use a different form of greeting and people should not be offended by that. I like to be...

Don't touch me. I like to be booped. Booped on the nose. Boop. I'm more nice to be you. Booped on the nose. I'm more nice to meet you. I'm going to use the Wakanda Forever one, I think. Oh, yes. No, that's a nice one.

That's a nice one. So you don't have to touch them at all. What are you personally looking forward to about Level 1 when you presumably venture out there today? I'm actually not venturing out today. Staying home. I've got so much to do that I'm actually thoroughly enjoying kind of working from home.

So I've got some things that I'm basically going to stay put. But I'm really looking forward to getting to the cinema. I absolutely love the cinema. Me too. But one of the problems is that I'm not sure that we're going to get any new films for a long time. Yeah, I heard that. Because if they're not able to show them in other countries, then we're unlucky to get them.

Well, I just got an email saying Trolls World Tour is going to be hitting the cinemas. But there was that backlog of movies that were due to come out that will probably start getting shown. But then, as you say, after that, there might be a big patch where production was paused. Yeah, I'm just not even sure if it's not safe to show those, you know, premiere those films overseas. Will they even show them here? They might just hold on to them, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. In terms of going about our everyday life, it's just normal now. There's nothing we should not be doing. There are definitely some things we should do. So if you haven't downloaded the Ministry of Health app, then you should absolutely do that because it's so important that the Ministry of Health have up-to-date contact details for all of us

in case there is a cluster of cases and they need to contact everyone. So definitely everyone needs to do that. We still, we need to keep records of where we've been and who we've been with. Again, this is so that if there is a case, you know, it may well come in through the borders. We need to be able to contact trace. Right. And the really classic thing, again, if you have any symptoms,

you know, call your GP or health line to get tested and stay home if you're sick. So those are the things we still have to do. And wash your hands. Let's keep with the washing of the hands because, you know, that's good for all sorts of infectious diseases, not just for COVID-19. And a lot of people are pushing for the trans-Tasman bubble. How do you feel about opening the borders up to Australia?

Oh, look, we have to be absolutely confident that everything is under control in Australia. And different states in Australia are not confident of that yet, so they haven't even opened up their borders to each other. So I think we need to be mindful that for us, if we really have eliminated the virus here, then the way it's going to come back into the country is through our borders. And so that's where we have to be really clear that we have everything in place

to stop the transmission if it does arrive here, but also that we do everything we can to minimise that chance. And there are other countries we could be looking to as well. Before Australia, we could be looking to as well. Before Australia, we could be, you know, looking at our Pacific neighbours who, you know, who again did a, you know, did an amazing job of stopping it from getting there in the first place because they knew if it got to them, you know, they didn't have the health capacity to, you know, with their hospitals and stuff to deal with it. So we've got lots of places we could also open up provided that they knew that we were safe for them.

Yeah. Well, thank you so much. As always, great to have you on the show, Dr. Susie Wiles. Thank you. My pleasure. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You all right, Megan? What is it?

ZM. Saying inappropriate things right before we go on the radio. Because it's funny. All right, what have you done? No. He's been stewing that whole song. 17 minutes past eight. You just said you did something and we had an agreement.

I did something yesterday and I waited 90 minutes to do this as well. 90 minutes? Yeah. Now, do you remember when you last updated your license? You son of a bitch. You absolute son of a bitch you absolute son of a bitch yes I do because every time

I get it out just on Friday I had to get my license out to prove who I was to hire something and they sniggered and I always forget

you're wearing a skivvy and you've got an earring and a chain necklace and a bright orange earring and just all this ridiculous nonsense. Yeah. And I said,

the agreement is next time we update our licenses, we all have to get silly license photos. Yeah. And you renewed your license and you didn't get a silly license photo. You bastard. Well, you know what? I think the joke's on me because

they use a camera from like 2010. I know. You know one of mum's Sony cyber shots? Yeah. And so it's on there and she was like, all right, get ready. And then I thought it had taken it and then it flashed. And I'm like, obviously. And then she wouldn't let me look at it.

I know, they don't let you look at it. It's so frustrating. I needed to do what Kim Kardashian did. She went to the DMV and took a selfie ring. Yeah. She took a lighting ring. Did she? And she got her photo done like profesh.

Yeah. The AA don't even have a lighting ring. That's so rude. So rude. Like, do they want us looking great on our licenses or not? Because I did like a little smile and they're like, don't smile. And then like I turned my head slightly and she was like, no, straight down.

You were doing that Ariana Grande thing. Excuse me, I have a better side. Let me use it. They don't let you do any of that. But then the police also has to ask you to always turn to the side. Yeah, oh, it is you. I would.

No, because they come in your window. So they're seeing you from the side anyway. Yeah, that's true. No, at least they have to go around the passenger side to see your they're seeing you from the side anyway. Yeah, that's true. No, at least they have to go around the passenger side to see your best side. Pure on the motorway. Yeah. Safer. Yeah, safer.

Hence, straight on. Give them the whole 360 tour. But yeah, I think that'll be the jokes on me that... You'll still look terrible. I'll still look terrible, yeah. Yeah, but are you... But I do, I needed to do it. That's the problem, because I need my licence.

Why? For all the driving you do. It was needed so... But I needed to do it That's the problem Because I need I need my licence What? For all the driving you do It was needed so urgently I've got one of those Temporary paper slips Like I just got my learners Oh really? Yeah Cute

This is why I'm just looking at mine Gold chain Skivvy Creepy smile Do you always have to get A new photo? Orange

Yeah And you have to do the eye test. It expires, but if you just lose your licence, you don't, because I've got the photo on file. Because my licence photo is pretty cute. I was doing that. It's not going to be anymore. No, they don't let you keep it.

But I was doing the eye test, and I said, instead of a V, I said W, and then I was like, no, I meant V. But luckily I passed. Fuel. Anyway, that was as exciting as it got. It's just the anxiety. Yeah, well, there was more anxiety reading out the right letters than it was. I could see the letter.

Yeah. It was just like the anxiety of it. Yeah. Yeah, well, as long as you're saying letters and not shapes. It's like A's sometimes look like triangles when they get down the bottom. You're like, triangle. Banana. Yeah, is that a banana?

They're like, you should not be driving, sir. That's a C, isn't it? Do they do a hearing test? It's just visual, eh? Just visual, yeah. Oh, lucky for you. Yeah. Can you hear the truck horn?

No. Can you hear the train coming? No. Can you hear the siren? No. Hey, but that's why they have lights. Oh, there it is. Yeah, that is why they have lights.

All right, next. I can't believe you did that. Yeah. I've hurt the friendship, haven't I? You're a bad man. Flesh, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I have never been to Taiwan. Neither. That's today's fact of the day, day, day, day. No, there's more to it. But apparently in Taiwan, when you get a receipt from a store, up the top there'll be a little number. Now the number will be two letters followed by a hyphen and then nine digits.

And then you get this everywhere when you ask for a receipt. McDonald's, clothing stores, just anywhere. Supermarkets, dairies, etc. So you can even, these numbers are your entry into

a bi-monthly lottery. That's every second month. This was encouraged because when they print you one of these off and it gives a number that is also logged with their tax system. Right. So that

people can't be pocketing cash and saying what goods did I sell? Yeah, right. Because if it's paid in cash and they don't print you out a receipt, they could just say it was lost stock or stolen stock. You could be laundering. Yes. The money could be not

going towards the tax system. So it really encouraged people who were spending money who could win $300,000. The New who could win $300,000. Oh, wow. The New Zealand equivalent of $300,000 just by participating because they kind of worked it out. And apparently that was less than the amount of tax

that was getting skipped out on every couple of months by people doing cash transactions and not reporting the goods. Right. That's genius. As sold. So they said it really made people ask for a receipt because then a little computer would give

that number and then that would report to the government that that number had been used for this much and so if there was ever any accounting by their version of the IRD, they'd be able to see. That's genius. Yeah, and it made shoppers really keep their receipts and you get receipts for everything and you can keep them up and then at the end of that two month period you might have Yeah, and it made shoppers really keep their receipts. And you get receipts for everything.

And you can keep them up. And then at the end of that two-month period, you might have a thousand receipts. Yeah, right. To participate in the national lottery. And anybody can do it. Foreigners, even if you're just visiting. Yeah, right.

But how do you enter? Do you have to write your name on every receipt? Well, you just have to hold on to the receipt. And then... Oh, and they draw the number. They draw the numbers. Right. So you have to go through your thousands of receipts and check if you've got that number.

Or you just take it back in and get it scanned, like you do a lotto ticket. Sure, they might have an app even. You just take your envelope of receipts for that two-month scan. You'd get over that, eh? Because your chances of winning would be minuscule. It's so niggie. I'd be right into that.

March, April. So this was the March, April two month period. The number 919 11374 if you matched all eight numbers you won the big one. 300,000. Yep. The equivalent of. If you matched all eight numbers

in another number you won a fifth of that. Oh, yeah. So, whatever, 80. Yeah. That's all in. I mean, people spend heaps on Lotto and do this every week anyway, right? So, for free, what a great idea.

Exactly. Then they have ones where you can just match some of the numbers and you win a little bit less. And then if you match the last three numbers, you can win the 200 of Taiwan's currency. So they give away 300. They'd be saving so much money. When you go to the supermarket and you go to self-serve checkout, would you buy each individual item?

Would you like a receipt? Yes. Would you like a receipt? Yes. God, and you're waiting in the line and someone's getting like 14 things and paying for them all individually. The lady at the local service station, I filled up on Friday the car, but I took down all like the petrol cans, like the lawn miles and everything.

Right. And filled them all up as well. And she said, next time you do that, just do $40 and then hang up the pump and then do another $40 and then hang up the pump. Another $40, hang up the pump and then do another $40 and then hang up the pump. Another $40, hang up the pump. Come in and pay for them all individually as $40 and stack that discount

and it will give you, because if it's one of those $0.10 stack days and then every, say you spent $160 on gas in $40 amounts, you'd stack $0.40 of savings rather than $0.10 if you did it in one transaction. What, so you get a dollar back?

She worked there! Yeah, right. And she was telling me the loophole. Yeah, but for a dollar though. Yeah, that was all. You probably saved like a dollar. No, because it's that the $0.10 stacked at $0.40. How much are you saving? You're saving $0.40 a litre and then if you're getting like 50 litres

you do the maths. Well, I can't do the maths, but surely it's a dollar. It doesn't sound worth all the effort. It's 20 bucks. Why don't you just go fill, fill, fill. Oh, okay, it's 20 bucks. Oh, okay, that's quite a bit. Because then you can buy pies and stuff.

She said she saw someone do it with a truck. What? I was hanging out at the pub. Where does he have the time? Yeah, right. Mind you, there is a little bit, something quite satisfying about filling up your car manually and stopping it exactly on like a dollar. Yeah. Wow. Mind you, there is a little bit, something quite satisfying about filling up your car manual and stopping it exactly on like a dollar. Yeah.

So, wow. If you got sent over, you've got to somehow just squeeze that petrol in or just squirt it on the floor. Don't squirt it on the floor. You're joking. Don't squirt it on the floor. Of course I am.

So today's fact of the day is everything you buy in Taiwan is technically an entry into a lottery. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Day! ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Level one. Happy level one, New Zealand. Yeah, you did it. We did it. Team of five million.

Some of us did more than others. Minus Mike Hosking. Why? Is he not in our team? He wasn't keen on us. Some people don't want to be in the team. Sure. He was last picked in the team.

Oh. I got his PA. You have Hosking. No, no, no, no. You have Hosking. You, no, no, no. You have Hoski. You have one more than us. Anyway, it's a return of

you know physical distancing gone. Yeah. We're going to be able to sit next to people. I mean, I don't want to. Do you think this has made you

a bit more of a germified? Because even leaving my apartment this morning I got to press the big green button to open the door. Yeah.

I still just use my knuckle or pull my hoodie up and just press it. Yeah. And I was never too worried about railings. You know, like I'd always touch railings or like escalator things. I haven't been touching those things for years. I know. My dad used to always say, don't touch a railing. Especially escalator railings. Yuck.

There was one once and it was a little bit wet and I was like, don't touch it. And Sade said, oh, no, I think it's got like a wipe underneath. It's wiping with disinfectant or something. I was like, what world do you live in? Someone's dropped like a frozen Coke down there or something. Yeah. And every time it goes around the handrail,

it's just going to get a little frozen Coke on it or something. Come on. But with the lack of physical distancing required, we thought we would take this opportunity to celebrate and Fletch, you know, well known for. Why is this about me? You're well known for loving hugs. A very good hugger.

People always say, oh, he definitely didn't come in with a shoulder and one arm. A double-armed hug. Yeah, double-armed. Never limp. What is going on? It's always one-armed, limp. And then your head's like looking away.

He does, ain't it? Yeah. Okay, the other day when we were at the cafe, you hugged my friend and you got makeup on him. This is why I don't want to. Yeah, but he gave me a real good hug. That was like a. That's why you don't want to... Yeah, but he came in real... He gave me a real good hug. That's why you don't go hard with the hug. I don't want makeup on my t-shirt.

No. That's not true. That's just your... What about when you give guys hugs? It's just still soft. I don't want... People get in there. When was the last time you hugged Vaughn? When he was going to Columbia for three months Only because

Because we were like You might die Vaughn wanted a hug Because he said You'll probably die Which is a horrific Stereotype of a beautiful Country I'll have you know

Oh yeah nah Nothing goes wrong then And you're definitely Not one to get yourself Into any No No You're furious

I don't like I'm just not a hugger Okay Well everyone in the office wants a hug so we said they could come in and have one so no coming in one at a time here's jenny first jenny wants a hug look at this you really like jenny and you hugged her like you hate her Peter. Al was a good one for a hug. Hi, okay, yep. Carlin's in for a hug. Celia kept the bottom half of it a long way away.

Oh, no, he's moved on to double hands, though. Oh, no, this is getting worse. What do you mean? Give him a, that was probably the best one. Give him a proper one. Jesus, that was a dismal parade. That was, like, I feel like Sarah probably got the best one, like the parade, like Santa comes last.

Went from level, like, that was, yeah, wow, all very much. You actually started weak and got better, I thought. Well, no, because I was paying pressure from you. I wasn't hugging enough. Now, do I have makeup? No. All good. Good Lord.

We need to make a video, slow motion of your face. No, because those lovely people who came in for a hug will see his... No, they know it's Fletch. ...drastic reaction to Fletch. I don't think I've ever hugged any of them before. Any of them. You've hugged all of them now. Okay, are we done?

Yeah. Happy level one. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. You're out in your boat. Yep. Not me. Not me because I don't have one. You're out in your boat. Yep. Not me.

Not me because I don't have one. Gets seasick. I don't like boats. Yeah. I don't think anybody should enjoy them. I see the America's Cup button. I'm like, God, that'd make me feel so sick. I saw one of those whiz past the other day. They go so fast.

I don't know about it. They go faster than the wind that pushes them. How? Magic. Because it collects the wind. So it's multiple bits of wind. Well, strap. Yeah.

And then strap four of those on a Jeremy Wells Meridian Mercury Energy Genesis wind machine. Yep. And voila. Yeah. Free power. Problems solved. For my sleeves up there. Yeah, free power. Problems solved. For my sleeves up there. Voila, again.

But this wasn't that sort of boat. Hayden and his mates were out 500 metres offshore and they ran out of petrol in their little inflatable. Do they have a petrol gauge on an inflatable? Honest question. How do you know how much petrol is in there? In the little tank, there's one on the, you can get like the ones on the top.

Oh, okay. That screw into the thing and there's a little float in it. And when the float goes down, it pulls the thing and it's. So they should have known that they were getting close to it. Oh, you should never go out in any form of boat without being fully prepared. Yeah. So he tied a rope to himself and jumped into the water in his undies instead of just swim.

It's been caught on camera. It's brilliant. That would have been freezing cold too. Freezing cold. Did he get very far? He got in. Oh, amazing. It was either that or you wait to be rescued, right?

And then I'm guessing you're going to get in a Oh, amazing. It was either that or you wait to be rescued, right? And then I'm guessing you're going to get in a bit of trouble. No, so they were 500 metres off. He pulled up 400. Then the lifeguard, the lifeboat people

met them. Coast guard. Yeah. No, no. It wasn't, no. It wasn't coast guard. It wasn't coast guard. Okay.

Just another boat. Just another boat. Okay. It was called the Sumner Lifeboat Crew. Oh, right. Okay. Whereabouts was this?

We've made an error. Oh, Christchurch. Sumner. Is there sharkies out there? Why? There's sharks everywhere in the ocean. As soon as I get in the water and you can't see anything below you, I'm just like, oh my God, what's down there?

Now you can hear them coming. Can you? Yeah, the music plays. It goes Well it used to be Used to be that Used to be Yeah used to be That's what it used to be

For years But now it's Baby shark And if it's baby shark You're like This isn't the end of the world It's fine yeah Great big shark

Then shake your pants.