ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 9th November 2021

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Calculus  Top 6: Police Shopping Unit  Anna the Day Trader  Christmas Traditions  Pet Pics  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleets, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleets, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista Mate Coffee available, Drive-Thru and McC Delivery Level 3 and Dine-In Level 2. Oh God, I'm bloody knackered today. Why, Vaughan, are you knackered? Why are you knackered?

God, I'm glad you've asked. No, I had a bad sleep. Oh, okay. I don't know what was going on. How many hours did you get? I didn't get many last night. I got six. Two and then another two. Four and a bit. Why do you have a little wink? A mid-wink? I woke up to go wheeze

and I went wheeze off the balcony because I'm not walking all the way to the outside toilet. It's nature's fertilizer though, eh? It is. It's great for the... Did you wee on the citrus? No, I just weed on the hedge And yeah, I know But I wasn't going to go out to the citrus Because that's as far as the other toilet

So, you know Yeah So And what a clear night it was last night Oh, okay Oh my goodness I could see stars And I even saw one of them

I think it was moving But it might have just been blurry So that might have been a satellite or something That might have been your internet satellite Oh yeah No, because they're all in a line oh yeah right and um where was i going with this uh someone down the road had all their lights on so then i was like why are all their lights on and then i couldn't turn my brain off so i kept ticking along do you think they were robbers well maybe because it was security lights

so yeah maybe someone might have been skulking around the hood and then i yesterday afternoon spent all afternoon in the garden. Right. Doing a range of tasks in the garden. And you weren't on your phone because you weren't messaging. No, I wasn't. I was listening to podcasts, but that was as much on the phone as I got. I spent all afternoon outside in this beautiful weather,

not aware of what a clusterfuck the world is. Yeah, right. And at the end of the day, I was exhausted. I had dirt under my fingernails, which that hand still got, yeah, that hand's still got a bit of it. Oh, my God, do you shower? Yeah, but I can't get out under there. You can't get that all in one go. And I just found it's the best I've found in a while.

That's lovely. You know, just getting out there and getting some fresh air. Yeah, Carwen at the social media desk is all over social media. It's her job. She does point out lies. You posted four Instagram stories. Oh, that was at the social media desk is all over social media. It's her job. She does point out lies. You posted four Instagram stories. Oh, that was at the end of the day. Yeah, no, but you still went.

And also you're like not on your phone, but you're listening to podcasts. So your phone's. You're actually full of shit. You're a fucking liar. Well, now I feel terrible. Now my mental health's back in the shitter. Welcome back. Welcome back.

All right. Oh, we're doing that old situation, are we? The old bring you down. What do they call that? Why should you feel good when we feel shit? There's animals, right? And if they're in a trap, is it a crab pot or something? And if one crab looks like it's going to get out, the crab's like, no.

And pull it back in. Isn't that just called New Zealand? Oh, my God. New Zealand of crabs. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan.

Two minutes past six. Good morning. Where's producer Jared gone with the bricks I've given him? We were going to have a sexy unboxing. No, and then it was promised to me if I paid attention before the show, I'd get to watch them open the Lego things. Oh, not Lego. Bricks.

Wink. Countdown, I know what you're up to. Yeah, these are the things they're doing in store. Can I have your New World stickers? Because I just want those cast iron. No, but that doesn't start yet. That's another week away, I think. Oh, and it doesn't start yet. That's another week away, I think. I'm going to collect those, I think.

Hey, man. What did you get, Jared? Did you open them? What are you guys? You were waiting for us. Well, open one and tell us what you've got there. Because what are you vibing at the moment? The produce department.

Because I got seven, didn't I? I got seven and I've given them all to Jared. Should I have given some to you? Nah. You're not getting the kids hooked on this? I got seven, didn't I? I got seven and I've given them all to Jared. Should I have given some to you? Nah. You're not getting the kids hooked on this. I got a fruit stand. A fruit stand. That's cute.

I'm going to build it later. I've actually got a shelf that looks like this. You probably don't need to wait to build it. It's three blocks. Yeah. I got some tomatoes. Oh, it's a vegetable stand. Tomatoes and potatoes.

Have you got a vegetable stand already? No, but I've repurposed a seafood counter to contain all the little fruit and veg that I got in a different packet. You can't do that. You can't do that. Well, now I can move them to their appropriate spot. You're gonna

misrepresent how Countdown stores its fruit and veg. You'll walk up to that spray thing that always got those smelly muscles on it and you'll be like What's gone on here? You've put the mandarins in the smelly muscle container.

That's what you've done. I went to checkout I didn't do anything in the store. Right, right. Open another one. Yeah, another one, another one. I can see why

this unboxing shit's addictive. What's the best one that everybody's after? Oh, is that the same thing? You won't know. I don't think you'll know you again. Fletch, you gave him

two of the same thing, man. I didn't. You're the worst you'll know yet. Same thing again. Oh, Fletch, you gave him two of the same thing, man. I didn't. You're the worst uncle ever. I didn't package these. I'd really like a trolley. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A trolley.

Right, okay. Is that a trolley? What's that? These are just bricks. You'd be able to feel if it was a trolley. It's an aisle end. I got the end of it. Oh.

Yeah, you've got to put some chocolates on there. You can put some loss. Yeah, put some loss leaders on that. This is addictive. Get me more end of the store for them. Oh, it's another island. You need both ends of the aisle. Well, you need a lot of islands, Megan.

You've got 12. Oh, something just fell out. I'm going to go home and watch some unboxings. This is exciting. Yeah. It's another shelf. Another shelf. Now, what happens if you get to the end of this promotion

and all you've got is a produce? You've got produce, produce, produce and a couple of eyelids. It's vegan countdown. I might start a farmer's market. Can I open one? Oh, this is going to be annoying, isn't it? I can see how people

get hooked on this. Oh, I know. What did you get? Bloody fruit and veg. How many bloody Perla's little potatoes do we need? I got one more packet.

You gave him six packets. Seven. I got seven. And so far there's six packets. Seven. I got seven. And so far there's only been two things. Oh my God. It's another what? It's another potato. There was only two things out of those seven packets.

But the main reason I wanted them is because it's technically free Lego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not allowed to say Lego because the Danes will come for them. Oh yeah, it's not Lego. It's not Lego. It's bricks. Well, that was something, wasn't it? Cool. Hey, thanks for that.

Well, good luck building your supermarket. No, that's the excitement of an unboxing. You don't know what's in there. It's a little blind bag. I'll keep collecting them for you, Jared. Maybe we can do it every time we can do an opening. Yeah, I'll use them as work bribery. Like, oh, Jared, I need a coffee.

I've got seven packets. I've just given you seven packets of bricks. Would it be too much to ask? Wow, what an asshole. I've just given you seven packets of these things I got for free when I went to the supermarket. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, today's top six.

There is going to be a new police task force specialising in stopping the abuse of retail. People who work in retail. That's how much of a problem it is. Well, and that it's going to be when retailers start asking for vaccine passports

and masks. So they've got a new, I've got the top six names for the anti-retailail Abuse Task Force. Alright, it's coming up on the show. Secret Sound is coming up seven and eight this morning.

$50,000 all thanks to Neon. If you need the clues, the extended sound, ZM, Secret Sound on Instagram. Next though. If you get,

if maths gets you hot, I've got a one-stop shop for you. Can't say maths has ever got me hot. Yeah've got a one-stop shop for you. Can't say maths has ever got me hot. The guy in maths class, yes. Really? The teacher? No. Okay, weird. You had a crush on the maths teacher.

No one had a crush on the maths teacher. She's got a toy boy. It's not going to be the teacher. Is she the teacher? Because that's ethically very questionable. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. There is a Is she the teacher? Because that's ethically very questionable. What's next? ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan's. There is a calculus teacher. I was trying to think of what brand of maths it is.

Oh, yep. A calculus teacher. What's calculus? Is that the one with Syntan Cos? It looks like there's a bit of Syntan Cos. Yeah, good. Okay, I know then. Yeah.

Wait. Yeah. I don't know. Me neither. Synt't know. Neither. Syntankos. That's triangles, right? There's geometry. Oh.

Calculus, originally called blah, blah, blah. It was not originally called blah, blah, blah. It's the mathematical study of continuous change. What is Syntankos? In the same way that geometry is the study of shape and algebra is the study of generalisations of arithmetic problems. Trigonometry. Is that calculus?

Don't know. What was it originally called when you... Is it a Greek word or something? But look, it's the one with all the squiggly big long things. Workings and stuff on the blackboard. I thought it was cosine and tangent, not like because you just like sit in cos tan. Yeah, look.

Looking back at high school maths, I didn't need it at all. We've all got a calculator on our phone. We didn't see that coming, did we? I seem to remember at the time saying, I'm never going to use this. And the teacher said, you've got to be able to do it in your head. You won't have a calculator on you at all times. Ah, iPhone

Take that You're wrong Stupid teachers You don't even need to You don't even need to type it anymore Yeah Watch this Hey Siri

What's 47 times 63 plus 8? The answer is 2,969 Oh, that was noice. Coincidence. Absolute coincidence. Noice. I didn't even need a timer. I just needed to say it.

So we could actually probably save some money in the education system by getting rid of math teachers. And giving everybody an Apple Watch. Yeah. And then they'll know if I've got their clothes, their rings too. True. What are we doing? Solving problems over here.

Grab your problem and get in line. Sorry, any maths teachers listening? Well, this guy is a maths teacher, and ChungSumath666 is his username on online video sharing platform PornographicHubble. PornHub. Well, PornographicHubble is its full name., Pornographic Hubble is its full name. Porn Hub is just what its friends call it. Okay. And I see you called it Porn Hub, so you're obviously familiar.

Under the handle ChungSmooth666, this 34-year-old math teacher is sharing calculus. Is he doing stuff in the videos? Yeah. No, he's not doing sex stuff. There's no sex stuff unless you find math super sexy. Right, he's just uploading calculus videos. Yes.

Wow, okay. Yeah. Is this working for him? He has uploaded it there as a form of advertising. Okay. He's not paying for it, though, because it's content. So he's uploading it. And are they letting it on there?

Because is that a kink to someone watching someone do maths? You can upload anything to Pornhub. Right. Good or bad. Apparently they're doing more to stop the bad

but the good, like this maths stuff, that can happen. And the idea is the more views he gets, the more money he gets as a user. And his goal

is to get people to sign up for his online course, but also to help pay to keep the fees down with how much money comes in. Right. And is he doing all right? Are people watching this? I would love to click on his profile to give you an up-to-date breakdown. Right. But I'm assuming the work Wi-Fi won't let me, so I haven't even tried.

Yeah. Okay, fair call. Yeah. Because the news story says here 1.9 million views. Okay. That's good. Not great for Pornhub. I'm told that some videos on there get a phenomenal amount of views.

Yeah, right. Yeah. You can also follow him on Instagram. Yeah, because it does say here that he uploads to YouTube as well. Yeah. But I think he's doing pretty well on Pornhub. Yeah. Which, imagine explaining that to your mum when you're studying for exams.

While you're on Pornhub? Yeah. No, I'm doing calculus. Just get ready to tab out. But then the videos underneath, it'll be like, do you want to try this video? Well, that's the thing. Imagine trying ready to tab out. But then the videos underneath, it'll be like, do you want to try this video? Well, that's the thing. Imagine trying to concentrate on calculus.

Yeah. With all the advertising for not calculus around. I was trying to find the average view count for a video. On? Pornographic. Pornographic. Hubble. You've just been flagged by IT, haven't you?

Yeah, I have. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello and welcome to the Top Six. Today's Top Six, the Top Six new names for this anti-retail abuse police force. This is in the light of stores saying no vax, no entry, and the sorts of people they'll have to deal with on that front. Neat for them. Yeah.

So the police are going to be stepping in. Kind of sad that we're going to need one. Very sad. People are, customers are fun at the best of times. This is just going to be so much fun. You've seen even in the last few months, like security people at like, you know, pack and save in the supermarkets getting abused.

Did you see a video during the rounds? It was in America. This couple found out that this woman running this like bakery donut shop was, said you can't come in if you don't have a mask. Right. And they went in and started spouting, this is against my civil liberties, and R4773 subset 2.

Yeah. And she's like, please leave, please leave. And they're like, no. And she's like, get out of my store or I'll throw you out. And they said, if you touch us, blah, blah, blah. So she reaches behind the counter and grabs a baseball bat and walks up and says, get out. And they grab the baseball bat off her and start fighting her.

And they're videoing the whole thing. And then the police, they call the police. The police come and end up arresting the people, the anti-maskers. Yes. Because they're like,

no, this woman's private property and she came out using reasonable force to ask you to leave her premises. Yeah. And you attacked her. Well, sadly, this new police unit's going to be needed. It is.

It's horrible. But the top six names for the anti-retailail Abuse Task Force. Number six. Task Force Karen. TFK. Yeah. New Zealand Police TFK.

We need TFK. We need TFK. They all know exactly what it's about. Yeah. Our number five on the list of the top six names for the Anti-Retail Abuse Task Force. The ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am,, the ma'am, ma'am, ma'am please, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am please, ma'am unit. Yeah.

Or the M-M-M-M-M-P-M-M-P-P-M-M-M-U. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six names for this new police force to deal with the abuse in the retail sector, the Westfield Enforcement Detail. Oh, yeah. Oh, Detail. That sounds cool.

I know. They'll be hacked into the Westfield security camera so they can see a problem before it even happens. Yeah, good stuff. Number three on the list of the top six names for the anti-abuse retail police force, the Caroline Eve containment crew. Are you saying there'll be a high number of...

Caroline Eve. Megan shops in now she's a mum. I'm excused. She does. There's nothing wrong with Caroline Eve. I didn't say there was. We need help down at Caroline Eve. We need the Caroline Eve containment crew.

We'll be there in a minute. We're just at, what's another mum brand? Posty Plus. Oh, they're everywhere. Number two on the list of the top six names of the anti-abuse retail police force, the Super Sassy Susan Squad. Dealing with Super Sassy Susans in a squad formation.

And number one on the list of the top six names for the anti-abuse retail police force, Operation Customers Never Write. They very, very rarely are. That is today's top six. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, we were just speaking just moments ago about the Countdown bricks promotion.

I gave producer Jared all of my bricks that I got yesterday shopping. It's not all good news for Countdown because they are assuring customers its fresh chicken is safe to eat after complaints on social media site Reddit of a sulfurous smell coming from the chicken.

Yes. Now, in a post on Reddit, the Countdown shopper said two packets of chicken bought from different stores recently both gave off a sulfur smell, a smell similar to a compost bin. Oh, my God.

Both packets were within their best before period, one or two days, and the other by seven. But, yeah, customers said they were told by Countdown the slight aroma came from gases used in the packaging process and would dissipate naturally. So maybe just give your chicken a sniff. I don't like this.

Just give your chicken a sniff. It's just chemicals, guys. You all need to chill, all right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The Reddit post said... I guess that counts anti-vaxxers out of a hot chicken then.

Because they don't know what's in it. True. One of the posters said, even my dad, who is normally a bit too lenient on food that's gone off, agreed that it smelled horrible. Wow. Dad doesn't want to waste anything. Dad does not, no, yeah.

Others on the post compared it to a wafting fart and rotten egg. Wow. You love a hot chicken. I've been known to do a rotisserie chicken. Yeah, and I've never encountered that. Now, I haven't got one for a little while, not that I haven't had one. Yeah. But I remember when you used to pick them out of the thing

and pop them in the tin foil bag. Yeah. They still do that? Yeah, they still offer you a bag to keep it hot. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah. But sometimes that was just in a tray. It wasn't in the whole bachelor's handbag situation.

They either come in the bachelor's handbag or the tray. Or the tray. But then the tray, when you put that in the tinfoil bag and rolled the end, if it jostled, when you opened again, the bag, sometimes hot chickeny liquid would pour out. Oh, no, they seal in the chickeny liquid. Or boys claim to have sealed in the chickeny liquid. Why are you jostling your chicken?

Always keep it upright. Oh, but that's the thing. Once it's in that bag, I don't know which way it's up. Well, that's on you. You're manhandling your juicy chicken. Yeah, and then you open, you, you know, tenderly open up the bag and the juices just flow. Hot, often hot and greasy.

So if it ends up on your clothes it's an oil stain. Once you've bought a hot chicken and put it in your car, you can smell it. It smells delicious. Well apparently not. Great for a picnic too, get a few buns from the deli. Bottle of coleslaw. Yeah, bit of coleslaw. And where do you go?

Get some mayo or some burger sauce. Burger sauce ticks both boxes. It gives you a bit of flavour but gives you that mayo vibe as well. And then you just chuck the whole thing in the park bin. Do you know? You push it all into the bag. You push it all into the bag. You just absolutely pummel every left bit into the bag and then in the bin, the whole thing.

Yeah, exactly. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Well, she's joined the property market and now she's looking to spread her wings into financial investments. So we've got the day trader, previously known as Executive Intern Anya, now known as the Wolf of Stanmore Bay.

That was good. That was good. That was good. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, I've got no idea what I'm doing. So you're getting into, you're using sharesies. Yeah, I read some article a couple of weeks ago that said that like 16% of investors are women. And I was like, right, I've got to change that. So you're doing it for the wahine.

Yeah, and then that's about as far as this wahine got. Yeah, so I tried with Hatch. I researched all of them. And I was like, yep, Hatch, cool bananas, US stock market, Tesla, you're tried with Hatch. I researched all of them. And I was like, yep, Hatch, cool bananas, US stock market, Tesla, you're going to be mine. And then did you realize how much one stock costs? Yes, I put in $100 and then I got in there and I was like, this is very confusing. And then I went into Sharesies because it was all pink and appealing. And I was like, oh, this looks a bit more digestible.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Once you put $100, that's your one now. Yeah, no, I thought I'll pop that one on the back burner. I didn't actually buy it. It's still sitting there. Oh, right. It's just $100 of chill in. So then I tried Sharesies and then I put some money into that,

but then it wasn't going to, like I did a bank deposit and I was like, oh, no, I'm not going to be able to play with it for like 24 hours. I'll do the credit card thing. So then I put another $100 in there. So now I've got like $250 in shares. He's also just chilling because then I got overwhelmed at that as well.

But you just click on something and buy it. Yeah, but I don't know which one to pick. Well, that's the idea. You've got to pick one. I know, but I don't know how. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. I don't know how to do it. Well, that's the idea. You've got to pick one. I know, but I don't know how. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. I don't know how to do it. Well, you've got to do some research and read about the company.

Fletch did day trading. He profited largely when a company made a huge layoff of staff. Oh, yeah. It's not my fault. Classic Fletch, eh? Classic Fletch. It was an accident,

and then I just read in the paper. It was an accident. Bullshit. You knew exactly what was going to happen. I did not. I did not. I didn't go back in our conversation. Do you still have shares in that company? Nice. I sold read in the paper. That was an accident. Bullshit. You knew exactly what was going to happen. I did not. I did not. I didn't go back in our conversation. Do you still have shares in that company?

No, I sold all of my shares. I made like... He buys and sells. I made this money and I was like, oh my God, I've made all this money. I'm getting out. You've profited off people's misfortune. Demise, yes.

I know. I'm invested in like... I do not know how share traders live with themselves. Trading on people's misery. This is what you're going to have to... I know. You've still got investments

in weapons though, right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of GPS technology, weapons guided kind of stuff. Yeah, good, good, good. Yeah. I don't like chucking money

out there not knowing if I'll get anything back. Like, because I might lose it all and then I'm like, oh, but that was mine. Give it back. But you'll quite happily buy some expensive shoes online. Yeah, but that's a tangible good.

Yeah, but they don't last forever, do they? But how do you sell them? Like, do you put them on Marketplace or Trade Me? I've got a lot of questions. Don't laugh at her. You go into your wallet and you go sell. Is that it? To who?

Well, I'm probably going to have to buy something in order to sell it first. You sell back to the market. But like to one, do you just chuck it out there and be like, hey, these are for sale to the market? Do I take a photo with the shares? Really simply though, it's like supply and demand. So if you sell yours and no one buys them, there's an excess in supply. So the cost goes down.

All right, mansplainer. So you just have to wait till everyone's real keen for what you've got. Wait a minute, you just said you didn't know how it worked. I offered you a very simple explanation and now I'm mansplaining. Classic mansplainer. No wonder there aren't enough women in the share industry. We keep condescending to them. Yeah, you're mansplaining to them.

Cut that out, please. Just answer the questions. Well, you've just got to do some, you know, there are some Facebook pages, though. Don't join them. Yeah, because everyone thinks they're the, like, the walk of war. You think you're being mansplained here.

Until you get onto those pages that talk about the stock market. Yeah. You might as well join up with bloody Bitcoin at the same time and get a real rundown on how the world works according to white guys. I just end up googling up and coming investment.

Who should I? Who are people saying is the next big thing? I just go on Vibe. I'm a Vibe investor. Totally. It's probably why I invested a lot in Canisalf, and it's down 11%.

How much have you made? Because the good thing about these apps is it tells you how much you've made overall, over the whole time you've been doing this. Rather than say the amount, I'd rather tell you the percent. What does that mean? Tell us both.

Percent return. I've made 16% return. And how long have you been doing this? No, that's really good. Oh, is it? Oh. Well, you imagine if you had $1,000 and you made 16% on that. Isn't that $160?

Yeah. Well, that's better than no dollars. That's shit ass. But that's better than losing. How is he going to make $160 off of $1,000? I thought it would be better than that. And for how long? But that's the thing.

I'm not a day trader like old bloody Skinnerman, Skinnerman, Sal and Fletch. I'm investing for life here. How long have you been doing it? I don't know. How long have I been doing it? A year and a bit? Two, three years?

And you've made $160,000. Oh, for Christ's sake. Yeah, you're actually a bit of a loser to be honest like that. 16% return. Over how long? Every year. But it doesn't matter how long. It does.

It's a 16% on total investment. Maybe I'll just get OnlyFans. Effort versus profit. I'd say so. If you're on OnlyFans, way better. I'm definitely doing a foot thing on OnlyFans. I'm just warning you. Effort versus profit. I put zero effort in. I only just logged on for the first time

in like three months and I've got like neat little money to spend. So why am I going to invest in? My food bag's down. Someone told Nadia? I'm sure they have. She had a rip in her pants the other day on the gram. I saw that. Yeah, that's why.

Yeah. She can't afford new pants because the food bag's tacking it. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound season 10 all thanks to

Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon this is the secret sound that's driving everybody crazy any ideas yet Megan? none sounds like a train Any ideas yet, Megan? I've forgotten none. None.

Sounds like a train. Yeah, I don't know. I wrote a train track or something. The extended sound was released on Friday. Has that helped anyone? Soundkeeper Al's is on the line. Yesterday, the hot and cold hotline was set up. That's over now, isn't it? Yes, thank the Lord.

That was busy. It didn't stop ringing all day, did it, the phone? No. No, I had to, like, just turn it off for lunch and to go toilet. It was crazy. And people could run their guests past you, and you would tell them if they were hot or cold. How many people were, like were on the money can you tell us like how did anyone guess the secret sound on the phone

well i can't really say that because then you'll know how many hots or colds i gave out um but what i can say is that at five o'clock we did reveal a surprise clue that maybe the whole time the hotline was a clue. Oh, okay. All right. Inception. Inception. Well, Lauren joins us. Good morning, Lauren.

Good morning. How are you going? Good, good. Well, $50,000 cash is all yours if you can tell us what the sound is. Okay. All yours, if you can tell us what the sound is. Okay, my guess was closing a thermos flask. A what? A thermos, a thermos. Oh, a thermos flask, like a takeaway?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Okay, no, your phone just kind of glitched just when you said thermo. I was like, what is that? Thermo nuclear weapon. A thermo flask. A flask. Okay.

Okay. Lauren, have you also seen the TikTok video where the sound is in that video? Yes. Lots of times. Oh, wow. So you've studied it and you've found your guess in the video? Yes, although you have done a good one, Ella. It's very difficult.

Yeah, it's a very cluttered room, isn't it? And you saw a thermo flask in that, a thermos. Yeah, I did, yes. Yeah, one facade, Ella, and I feel like maybe one on the windowsill too, but I'm not too sure. Okay. And Lauren, $50,000 is a crazy amount of money.

What would you do with it? Yeah. I would probably treat my mother. She's a wonderful human. I'd probably take her out to do something for sure, like go on holiday. Go to the town, maybe. That's lovely.

That is so sweet. Wait, would you have said that's lovely, but it's not what his face was saying? Are you going to spend any on you, though, Lauren? Oh, of course, of course. I would, definitely. She's not going to blow 50K on her mum. Oh, yeah, student loan, that's good.

Okay, half my mum, half my student loan. There we go. Okay, nice. Okay. Well, Lauren, we're locking in, closing a thermo flask. Hmm. Lauren? Yes?

That is not the secret sound. Oh, Lauren. Alright, so we can roll out thermo flasks. We're in the video. Next chance at 8 o'clock this morning. If you want to hear the extended sound, the closer we've had, ZM Secret Sound on Instagram.

Next on the show. 70%, 75% of people say doing this thing improves their marriage. Okay. I don't know that I would suggest it, but... ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. 75% of people have said that this is improving their marriage. Do you want to wager a guess? You're not going to.

Listening. Communicating. That would be a good answer. It's not that though. Touching. Cuddles. Cuddles. That falls under the touching.

Yeah. You're kind of close I guess cuddles could be included in this answer Caring Affairs Caring Affairs 75% of people who cheat

Say that their affairs Oh well no Yeah no You've skewed the results your honour 75% of people who have done it said it helped their marriage. Because why? Because they regretted that and then they, what, they scratched an itch and then they could just go back to their partner.

Exactly. So apparently, this is from Illicit Encounters, which is a dating website. They said that happy people often cheat. Because if you're unhappy, your mind is elsewhere. There's no way you can compartmentalise an affair. Right. So adulterers don't necessarily want to leave their partners. They just want to spice things up.

They just want some fun. So, yeah, they're not. But I also don't know if these people, they haven't admitted it to their partner, right? Well, yeah. So it's made them happier. Yeah, but it might not necessarily make their partner happy because they've

broken the trust. Yeah, but they haven't told them, surely. 94% of these people said they would be furious if they found out their spouse

was doing it to them. But yeah, they answered a study, a survey and said, I'm, I've cheated

and it's made me happier in the relationship. But if my partner did it, I'd be so pissed. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I don't want to leave my partner. I just wanted to, like, I've made myself happy.

That's having your cake, eating it too, and then being angry because your partner was talking about cake. Yeah. You're living a lie. You might be happy momentarily, but, like, you're lying to your partner. Right. So yeah, I think that does answer the question.

They haven't told their partner about the cheating. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay. But it did help their relationship. Them.

They were happier. Yeah, they were happier. Right. Wouldn't that be stressful though? Because then you've got this secret. Yeah. Especially if like people were doing it all the time.

They're trying to hide The situation Maybe that's making the whole thing spicier And they feel happier I don't know No comment your honour You don't like socialising Plead the fifth I can't even imagine how you would meet another person

I don't want to meet another person I've met all the people I could ever want to meet. In fact, there's too many. Absolutely. Wait, are you going to cut? You're not going to cut me, are you? I'm going to start making some cuts. You know what?

You'll survive that. I think you'll survive the cut. Yeah, because it would be awkward if I didn't survive your Facebook, Carl, but then I had to work with you every day. Prison company is going to make the cut. Okay, right, nice. But look, I'm looking to downsize him. You're looking at some friends and you're thinking,

I don't need you anymore. I've met everybody I'll ever want to meet. Everybody else is, everybody I've met from here on out, for the last 10 years, everybody I've, oh, no offense. Everybody I've met. He's got producers. Everybody I've met is just a remix of somebody else I already knew. That is the saddest thing.

That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. You're not open to any new friends. I don't want new, why? Why would I want to be? Fine, nice to meet you. No offence, you're just a remix of someone I've already met. I wouldn't even say it's nice to meet you. They might say it's nice to meet you and I'd say, well, it's happening.

All of our producers you've met within 10 years. They're all a remixing people we already knew. Right. But is that a compliment to them? I would actually say you're better than the originals. You know when you hear a cover? Yeah, right. Is this making you feel better?

You know, Sinead O'Connor's version of Nothing Compares to You is better than Prince's, but Prince did the original. He wrote it. He wrote the original. Yeah. So there's Sinead O'Connor, not Prince. Correct. So there's Sinead O'Connor, not Prince. Correct. So you're Sinead O'Connor. Sounds like a hell of a backtrack.

It does, doesn't it? You must admit, everybody, after a while, everybody's just... Oh, you remind me of my friend John. Yeah. So I don't need you because I've got John. But if you had a wedding today

You'd invite the producers Oh 100% Oh I very much enjoy their company Because they're better than John Yeah So you've ditched John So you're John Well there are a lot of people

That were at your wedding That you don't even talk to now 100% Yeah Yeah Absolutely I reckon I could get the guest list Of my wedding down to 8 people

Jesus That doesn't include everyone here in your family. Well, they don't all need to come. They were the first one. You can Zoom a lot of things these days, Megan. Absolutely. Absolutely, you can. In fact, now would be a great time to get married in Auckland

because a lot of people couldn't come. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, news this morning that Air New Zealand are saying from mid-December, you will need to be vaccinated to fly domestically and show your COVID passport or have a pre-departure negative test, which I'm guessing you just get where you get a COVID test now, right? How far?

I mean, I don't know the details and you don't know these answers. I don't know. How far between the negative test and flying because you could catch it in that time. I'd say it'll be a day or two before, because you need to get the result back, right, to catch your flight. But then, yeah, you could totally get COVID in two or three days. So, yeah.

So that news today, and also news yesterday. Jetstar announcing and putting on sale 85,000 discounted fares for domestic and trans-Tasman flying from Feb 22. Right. So from next Feb. But you've got to be double vaccinated or negative test

or do the Jetstar jump. And that's so embarrassing. You'd rather get the vaccination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were anti-vax, you'd rather get the vaccination, wouldn't you? And so, yeah, fares domestically and, like, some of the ones to Melbourne, $139, $129 to the Gold Coast. Like, these are cheap.

Queenstown to Melbourne, $199. Christchurch to Melbourne, $139. Like, these are good. And the domestic fares, like, Auckland to Christchurch, $25. So, really, they're really like, come on, guys, next year it's on. But do you guys feel? No. Like, I would book a domestic flight for next year,

but I just don't know if I'd book Aussie flights yet. I'd just wait until it's closer. I've got no interest in going to Australia. But then they're not going to be $139 like next year. They're not going to be that cheap when you want to go a week or two out, are they? They're going to be like $400 or something. Let's talk islands. Yeah, I don't want to go because my home's Nelson.

And I don't really want to take my baby on the plane because he's not going to wear a mask. Yeah, and you shouldn't take it. He's anti-mask, isn't he? Yeah. I thought I saw him at the Destiny Church. I can't stand it. Really? I know.

He just took the car and he was in the tomato. You won't tell me what to do. You won't tell me what to do. Wah! Wah! Wah! But if you didn't have a newborn baby, would you fly? So I'd be keen to, but do you reckon Aucklanders are going to travel around the country and people are going to be like, oh you fly? So what, I'd be keen to,

but do you reckon Aucklanders are going to travel around the country and people are going to be like, oh, yuck? Yeah, 100%. Serious question. 100%. 100%. They did that when there wasn't COVID in New Zealand. 100%.

They did that before COVID was a thing. So I can imagine, yeah. But would you book something to go to the islands or to Aussie or overseas for like Feb, March, April next year now? Nah. Nah, neither. Islands I would. Would you book something to go to the islands or to Aussie or overseas for like Feb, March, April next year now? Nah. Nah, neither. Islands I would. Would you?

It would have to have some sort of like, if it gets shut down due to COVID regulations. You get a refund. Get a refund. But you're not going to get a refund. They'll give you a credit if you're lucky. That's right. I'll use it at some stage. Yeah, but then like how many credits do people have already?

I don't have any credits. I wouldn't do it if I had tons of credit. Right. Well, we asked on Instagram, is it too risky to book travel for 2022? 77% said yeah

and 23% nah. Wow. Wow. To be honest, I thought everyone would be like fizzing. I thought it'd be way more. Yeah.

But yeah, the years, it's too risky. 77%. So I guess people are just going to hold off But yeah, the years, it's too risky. 77% are just, so I guess people are just going to hold off and wait, right? Yeah. See what happens. Well, everything's a bit uncertain at the moment. We don't know how this is going to roll out.

Yeah. It feels like we've been saying that for three years. Yeah. To 18 months? It feels like it's been longer. We don't know how this is going to turn out since like... March 2020? No, no, no.

Way before that. For like 2015, people started saying that. Okay. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. This is a big survey on casual relationships. First of all, they found that the average person had the most hookups at age 27. Oh, yeah. Okay. Maybe older than I thought it would be. Different people. Yeah. Hookups at age 27. Oh, yeah, okay.

Maybe older than I thought it would be. Different people. Yeah, casual flings. Like you mean in that calendar year? Yeah. Of your 27th birthday. The most times you'll hook up with someone. Were you with your wife when you were 27?

Oh, yeah, I was with her when I was 22. Good Lord. Yeah. Wow. That's a long time. I never did the maths. was 22. Good Lord. Yeah. Wow. That's a long time. I never did the maths. That is a long time. You packed a lot of debauchery in such a short space of time.

Ma'am, I will see you in court. That is slanted. I think that's defamation. Defamation and pre-digital cameras and social media. So very hard to prove. Oh, you're just lucky there was no... See you in hell. So it also found that two-thirds of people

wound up having romantic feelings for their no-strings-attached hookup. So if you're, like, casually hooking up with someone on the rig and being like, oh, it's no-strings-attached, everyone always ends up feeling something, or one of the two do.

When do you reckon you'll start hooking up with 27-year-olds, Fletch? I feel like 2021's really ruined your stats. Speaking about slander, I'm turning your microphone off. It's not been a very good year, though, has it? Lockdowns really hit you hard. Yeah, what are you? Shame. That's tough. That's tough.

That's tough. Bloody watch out 2022, eh? Open those borders. All right, we're moving on. Open those borders. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Guys, it's been a year. Ain't it?

Yeah, it's been a lot. Ain't it been a bloody year? Remember in 2020 we were like, get that year done. It's gone really fast, but also really slow. There's got to be a word for that. There's got to be a word for a period of time that feels like it's gone far, both fast and slow. It flew by, but also I felt every single day.

Yeah. Painfully fast? No. Torturously fast? What's something that's slow? Snails. A sloth. A lightning sloth?

Or something like that? Like the fastest thing and the slowest thing. Yeah, but that doesn't explain the pain. A lightning glacial pace. How about that? How about that? Because glacial pace is established. Yeah.

Or maybe we could do a brainstorm on that at another time. I don't want to. It's happening now and it's not happening. So, I don't know. I just thought of this. And I don't want this to come across grinchy. Okay. Or just like, who can be bothered?

Because it's not a who can be bothered. We recently cleaned out the girls' playroom, and it was just full of stuff that they've been given. But I was like, this has hardly been used. Yeah. This happens every time we clean it. If you've ever cleaned out your kids, and then you make a grandiose statement to your children,

like, no junk this Christmas. Well, it just happens when I clean out things. I'm why did i get this no more junk i've played with this twice yeah but i messaged my brother and sister and i said hey instead this year of like everybody buying every bloody child a present why don't they do the kids cousins secret's secret Santa. So one, there's a drawer. I suggested the family's justice of the peace, Nana. My mum does a drawer and then draws out

a name from each hat and the two names that she draws out each time, they buy each other, or that one buys that one a present. You know what I'm saying? Secret Santa works and there's like, I like this idea because it's cheaper. It's cheaper. It's better for the environment.

It's less stressful. Yeah. You know, like you're also reducing the chance that, you know, something's not going to arrive. Yeah.

But then are you taking away from kids Christmas? But then kids get so much... We're very, very lucky. These kids, there's no shortage of gifts for these kids at Christmas. Right.

So they don't need extra. They don't need extra stuff. And I'm not saying like pull down the value or anything. You can probably get them something they're more likely to use rather than something you're like, I don't know what to get them. Spend money on something. They'll be like, cool.

And then it just goes on the pile of these presents. So I'm like, let's cut down the presents. Yeah. What's the thoughts on this? This is a problem when you've got a big breedy family like you. Well, I've got two children. Yep.

My brother's got three. Yep. My sister's got three and her partner's got a child. So I'm going to say it's not fair. Uncle Vaughn's wallet's taken more of a hit

than everybody else's. Oh, yeah. Would you like a cash? Her child birthed. Yeah. We're paying more. Oh, yeah. I want a cash cash? Good child birthed. Yeah. We're paying more. Oh, yeah. I want a cash equivalent.

So now the truth comes out. If you had four kids. It's not really that. It's just thinking of gifts for all of them. Anyway, I just thought it would be easier and I just thought

this is easy and I don't even know. We're not going to see my brother at Christmas because he lives in Australia. Yeah. God knows if we're going to get to see my sister's family

for Christmas because Auckland could still be in some restrictions. So I'm just like, like, let's do it. And my sister was like, ah, this is kind of a good idea. She's on board. My brother's like, ah, look, I don't know. I think we've already

bought presents for two. And I was like, but that's fine because you've got three kids, so we'll just rig the Secret Santa drawer so that your two children, two of your children can already have bought for the other children. Yeah. And he's like, you can't rig a secret, Santa.

I was like, bitch, please. We are adults. We do what we want. Yeah, yeah. This is our time to shine. There are other things, I don't want to say, but there are other things rigged at Christmas. Aren't there, present-wise?

Crackers. Yes, exactly. Someone pops a little eye through the cracker, don't they? Yeah. That is a good idea though Totally And so then I forced my wife To do it with her side Of the family too

Uncle Vaughn's saving Lots of money this Christmas And did they go Grinchy old Uncle Vaughn She's yet to float it to them Do you So you only buy the kids You don't buy for each other

No You don't buy for your brother No Okay We've never bought each other presents. Even when we were kids, we got given money like one Christmas to buy each other presents and we all just kept... And then my sister wrapped up a toilet roll and there's a family video somewhere of me

and my brother absolutely firing on Christmas about how could you do this to us? How could you do this to us? Love it. So yeah, we don't ever buy each other presents. But it is apparently messing also with the Christmas tradition of what? Buying each other presents.

You're still getting presents. It's early. These children are young. Yeah. I hardly feel that this is a tradition that's really established. Get the tradition in now and they won't remember

how it used to be. Exactly. Start the tradition. But I was wondering, it got me thinking about, you know, how some people take family Christmas traditions

or, you know, holiday season. Maybe you don't celebrate Christmas, but maybe you've got a tradition around the holidays. Yeah. And someone dared mention changing it. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. I remember when my mum said to her mum, Nan, maybe we'll have Christmas at our place this year because we've always had it at Nan's. Oh, yeah.

And she said, I'm going to offer to have Christmas. I was like, this is a big change, Christine. Yeah, how did Nan take that? She was fine. She was gone with it. Was she, though? No, it was far less stress for her. She just bought the lovely potatoes she always grows in her garden and boils.

Yeah, right. And that was her. That's all she really wanted to contribute, the potatoes. And that's fine by us. But I said to Mum, it's a real roll of the dice to change a Christmas tradition. Yeah. People can take it pretty badly. Yeah.

As a Kiwi who's married into a South African family, I always open presents in the morning on Christmas Day. But they stay up till midnight and open them on Christmas Eve. That is bloody stupid. All of them. Yep. Because I remember when we grew up Catholic, after midnight mass on Christmas,

all the kids were just talking about how they got to open one present when they got home from church. No, we opened all of them. And my mum was like, no, wait till the morning. Do it in the morning. Because then when you wake up in the morning, you're like, oh, it's Christmas Day. I'll wait for lunch.

I wouldn't even wake up in the morning on Christmas if there was no presents. I'd sleep till lunchtime. That's the event, right? And have you tried to change this? Yeah. How did that go? We've only managed one year where they changed it, and then the next year we went back.

They had a meeting and they spoke in Thailand Afrikaans. I can only get bit words. Megan couldn't understand the thing, but they kept looking and pointing at her. Yeah, right. I can hear the occasional swear words. Okay, well, 0800DARLS.M, give us a call. You can text as well, 9696.

When have you tried to change a holiday season tradition and how did it go down? How'd the family take it? Give us a call. We are talking about if you tried to change a Christmas tradition. Firstly, how dare you? What did you try to change and how did it go down? Some Instagram responses.

Rachel said, we no longer have a Christmas tree. I print out a pre-decorated one on A3 paper and stick it to the wall. Went down well, laugh face. So I think went down well sounds sarcastic there.

I mean, I'm a Christmas grinch, but even I wouldn't do that. No way would that fly in my house. No, that's divorce. Kate said, I tried to introduce

smaller gatherings over more days to up the quality time rather than a day where everybody's there and it's just chaotic. I can't relate because that's a large family thing. My family Christmas is always small anyway. Mum said no and absolutely put an end to it. That was not going to happen. All right, we'll keep your texts coming through.

9696 0800 dials it in. When did you try to change a Christmas tradition and how did it go down? Alright, more of your texts and calls next. We're talking about if you've tried or someone's tried to change a Christmas tradition and how it went down. Because you're trying to get secret Santa gifts happening for all the kids. The cousins.

Yeah, they buy one present for one of the cousins. It's a good idea. Otherwise, you end up buying like 10 kids presents. And I've only got two children. I'm just saying the ratio's out of whack. I'm giving more than I'm getting, and that's not what Christmas is all about.

You end up just counting the presents as a kid. Did you do that? They bought a semen, and I got sex. My old is so fastidious. One year in me, there was kind of a, this is the sort of ungrateful shits we were.

Yeah. There was an argument because my brother and I believed my sister got more financially. We always got exactly the same but different colours. She did not have to get out receipts.

She receipts. She still does it. She still does it with all of her grandkids. She'll have it down to within 10 cents of what she's spent on them. Sometimes one will get like a little bag of lollies or something and the others will be like,

and she's like, that's just so it's even. I'd still be pissed if my brother got a 10 cents more than me. Like it's got to be even or I've got to have more. I'd just be pissed if they got lollies. I'd be like, where's my lollies? Well, now you didn't get lollies because you wanted the bracelet. The bracelet costs more. You don't get the lollies.

Kate, when did you try and change your Christmas tradition? Oh, well, I didn't, but my mum's new partner did years ago. Oh, you're not my real dad. Yeah, pretty much. And so what did he try and do? So my mum does this amazing glazed ham for Christmas lunch. It's like from my dad's mum's recipe and it's like glazed with Guinness and it's like amazing. Oh.

I know. I'm hot under the collar. I know. So my sister and I are like obsessed with it. And every year we look forward to it. Yeah. Well, we turned up for Christmas lunch this year and mum had done turkey. And we were like, oh. Oh, my God.

And we were like, what is this? And she was like, oh, well, Gav really likes turkey. Gav can fail him just. Get out, Gav. I was angry enough, but now his name's Gavin. Oh, get out of my face. Oh, Gavin. You don't want to sound ungrateful, but.

Gavin is a jerk. He's not your real dad. No. And so what's happening this Christmas? Is the ham back? Oh, well, they're actually going to be in quarantine, but they're coming back from Australia. So they won't be.

But when we have our, like, the latest Christmas lunch, it will be ham. It has been ham ever since. Okay. I'm guessing Gavin picked up on the icy mood when the turkey came out. He can get one of those little boneless turkey roasts for himself. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Mum can just do him a side turkey. Yeah. Hey, thanks you, cool. Kate, Emma, when did you try and change the Christmas tradition? Again, wasn't me. It was my sister. Ever since we've been young, well, to be fair, it probably was me, but she was the one that got angry about it.

Ever since we were younger, we've always had, we've got like two living rooms at mum and dad's and we've always had the stockings by the um fire yeah and then after we've done the stockings we'll move through to the other room where the christmas tree is and open up for the bigger center gifts and um gifts from mum and dad but nana and granddad have always come in so whatever time we got up when we were younger and had opened the presents with us and had breakfast with us. But over the years, they've got a bit more like less mobile. And so we thought one year that we would put the Christmas stockings in beside the Christmas tree. Wow.

Did not go down well. You literally just moved the Christmas stockings. It's like some sort of present parade through the house. Yes, pretty much. And if you dare have a shower before you open the presents, you've got to be in your Christmas jammies. Oh, wow. Okay, wow.

Our rules were completely different. We had to be fed. We had to be bathed. We had to be presentable. You weren't allowed to open presents until breakfast had been eaten. You always had to be clean because Nana always bought new clothes and you had to be clean to get into Nana's new clothes

which you wore for the rest of Christmas. That was the rule. It was, okay. Emma, thanks. You call some messages in. This is good. This is good, man.

I like the thoughts of this many arguments happening at Christmas. Yeah. Somebody said, Megan, they are, they married into a South African family as well.

Okay. And they said after 10 years of trying, they finally managed to get the Christmas presents open Christmas morning. Not at midnight. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They took a video of their kids having a meltdown after midnight about opening their presents and how tired and everything they were. And then the next year when it was like,

oh, we'll do Christmas presents after midnight, they played the family the video from the previous year. That's great evidence. Yeah. That's great evidence backing it up. I offered to make the Christmas Pav for dessert one year as I discovered I was really good at making Pav. Oh, that's nice. My auntie didn't talk to me that Christmas.

Did you take away auntie's need for it? Like she, that was her use. Apparently that was her thing. And she had done it for over 20 years. Yeah, I don't see the problem with two pavs at Christmas. One with kiwi fruit, one with strawberry. No, but then it's a competition. Which pavs are you going to have the competition?

Why is Auntie's going to step up her game? Then no one's eating Auntie's pav and then she has a sulk anyway. Well, then she'll realise. Yeah, okay. One year my sister decided she wanted to host Christmas after it had always been at mum and dad's. We all went with it and now I take turns every two years with hosting. There's

four siblings. Guess who never wants to host now? Yes, my sister who suggested the stupid idea in the first place. And guess who always ends up hosting by default? Yes, you've guessed right again. It's me. I do love all these arguments. It's so great. My mum tried to get

rid of... She contacted Santa. And said, you don't need to come to our house anymore. Because my children are 21 and 24. That is not your call to make. And I tell you what, we threw the biggest tantrum that there had ever been.

And Santa must have heard our cries and continued to come. Yeah, maybe mum called him back. Oh, that's nice. He's on the list. I would love to see some early 20-year-olds having a tanty about that. That would be hilarious. Someone else messaged in, they're also very angry at Gav from before. Do you remember Gav?

Yeah. The Guinness glazed ham. Which, by the way, I've looked up some recipes and it does look amazing. And they said a Gav ruined our Christmas as well. You said that in sex with my mum. Get out of here Gav. Not now Gav!

ZM's Fleshborn and Megan Play ZM ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Season 10. And it's all thanks to Neon. Get a Kiwi streaming service. Get great value.

Get it on Neon. This is the secret sound that has been doing our head in. And Friday, the extended version was released. Megan's face says it all. I wish that... Sinead, good morning. Good morning. All right, so you've done the hard bit, you've got through.

Yes, it was very hard. For $50,000 cash, what do you think the secret sound is? I think it's a chili bin closing. So one of the chili bins with the lid and a handle. Hmm. I have one of these. Well, mine's an Esky. Mine's an Esky. It's the same thing, isn't it?

Yeah, what? Yeah, same thing. Esky's a brand. Esky's a brand, yeah. Esky's a brand and Australians were so synonymous with that brand, that's why they call them an Esky. Oh, there you go. Thank you. And I think Chili Bin might have been our brand.

Right. I literally just used that at the weekend and that didn't... Did it sound like that? No, I don't know. I can't remember. I had a few wines. Yeah, it doesn't sound like Chili Bin. Well, I've got a flap in the top of mine for easy access.

Oh, la la. Are we still talking about the Chilli Man? Sinead, have you seen that TikTok clue video where the secret sound is in that video? Yes. Okay. I think I can see it. You think?

Okay. It's sitting inside a container, I think. Okay. And did you call up the hotline yesterday? No, I could not get through it all. Oh, okay. So that was a little hard. And honestly, $50,000 is a ridiculous amount of money.

Jesus! Excuse me, dog! What has happened? Are you okay, Sinead? Get him, dog. My dog can see other dogs. Quick, quick, take a photo of the dog and we'll plant a tree. Quick, quick, the tree must be planted, Sinead.

God damn it, the earth is suffering. Everyone take a photo of their dog. Okay, well, what would you, yes, what would you spend with the $50,000? I think we would do house renovations and go on a holiday. Oh, that is nice. As someone who's in the midst of house renovations, I hope you're not planning too big a holiday. No, no.

Just a dieting will do. Okay. All right. Well, Sinead, we're locking in your guess of closing a chili bin, correct? Sinead? Is she there? Yeah, you're locking that in. Locking it in.

Lock it in? Yes, sorry. Okay. Well, $50,000. Sinead? You take so long. Excuse me, this is not your job. You're dragging this.

Come on, come on. Put her out of her misery. Put her, yeah. Okay, Sinead. It's time to get your hammer out. It's renovations time, come on. Put her out of her misery. Put her, yeah. Okay, Sinead. It's time to get your hammer out. It's renovations time, holiday time. You have just won $50,000. What?

Yep. The chili bin closing is the secret sound. Woo! Woo! Get it! Get it! Yeah! Woo!

Are you kidding? Woo! Yay! Oh, my God. Oh my God. Are you serious? Oh my God. Oh my God. These are the best confetti candles. I can't help my partner listening right now. Shanae, you've done it. Oh my God. Oh my goodness, congratulations. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. right now. Sinead, you've done it. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. Congratulations. Oh my God. Oh.

Are you okay? This is just a life change that I want to see. Change that life. We're still going to need a photo of that dog if you want to plant that tree though.

Come on. Not the time. Oh, congratulations, Sinead. That is unreal. Oh, my God. Wow. Deep breaths. What's your partner's name, Sinead?

I don't know. I don't know if he's listening. I'm the one that's speaking, Sinead. Let's not tell him. Let's not tell him. Run. Grab the dog and run. Run after Sheamus.

Can we call him next? No one tell him. No one tell him. No one tell him. I tell you what, Sinead, let's get his number. We'll come back next. I also want to go through the clues as well that we've had throughout Secret Sound.

Let that sink in. Let's get you your partner's number and come back next and tell them that you've won the $50,000. Sinead, congratulations. Thanks to Neon, you have won our Secret Sound the Chili Bin Closing. Amazing.

Here you go, guys. I also need you to just take your pulse as well because we may have paramedics on standby. Alright, let's come back next and break Go, guys. I also need you to just take your pulse as well, because if we... Maybe they have paramedics on standby. All right, let's come back next and break the news to Sinead's partner and go through those clues. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound with Neon has been won.

Woo-hoo! ZM's Fletchbord and Megan. Well, there's been a winner. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound, Season 10. All thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. Sinead is the winner of $50,000. The extended secret sound, this is it. And Sinead, what was it? It was a chilli bin closing. A chilli bin closing. How are you feeling? You've had a song to let it sink in.

I don't know. It doesn't feel real, to be honest. Yeah. And you said you want to do renovations with your partner? You want to travel? Do you think... Oh, okay. When the borders open. And a vaccination, I'd say. But need a pre-departure test.

When you can. And a vaccination, I'd say, but you'll be good to go. Oh, look, we can probably pay for MIQ anyway. Yeah. Someone's rubbing their wealth in our face now. Must be nice. Sinead, now what's your partner's name, Sinead? Richie.

Richie. Now, we don't know if he's heard, but he's at work. No, yeah, he's at home. Oh, he's at home. Okay. And where are you? I'm out in the park. In the park.

Wow. You were like, I know what the secret sound is. I'm calling. I'm in the park. Yeah. Okay. I set my alarm at 10 to 8, sat down, started to call. Wow. Amazing.

Okay. This is because Richie's like, get out of the house with that bloody secret sound noise. Sinead, we're going to pop a call through to Richie and then you can tell him. We'll just wait in the back room. Maybe say that you're going to be on air so he doesn't, you know, get too excited. And then, yeah. Is he a sweary type? I think if he's on the radio, he might be, right?

Okay, now it should be going through. Let's just check. I hope no one's messaged him. Hi. Hello? Hello. Hey, Richie, you live on here? Hi, there you go. You're live on ZM, hi. air. Hi, how are you doing?

You're live on ZM, hi. Oh, hi, how are you? Good, so I just won the secret town. Did you? I just won $50,000. No, you didn't. You're live on air right now. Oh my God.

Hi Richie. Oh my God. Hi Richie. Hi Richie. Hi, how are you? Good. Holy hell. I was really expecting you to swear, Richie. Yeah, I'm trying really hard not to.

$50,000 Richie. Oh wow. It doesn't actually feel real. Now, Richie, Sinead says she Oh, wow. It doesn't actually feel real. Yeah, I know. Now, Richie, Sinead says she wants to spend it on travel and bathroom renos. Is that what you'd want to do with the cash?

Sure. I think Sinead would also like a new car, so I think they might... Oh, yes, yes. I just heard about the car. Wow. Now, Richie, how involved have you been with The Secret Sound? Are you sick of it or were you on board with this guess? I was helping where I could. It was definitely taking up a lot of time.

I know, husband. We want to have fun to chat. That's like, I'm sick of this. I'm bored. Oh, my God. Wow. Well, all the time and effort was worth it. Yeah.

Congratulations. Well done, sweetie. All right. Did he just call me sweetie? I took the sweetie. I thought I was the sweetie. A collective sweetie. Should we say that she's the sweetie?

Team. We just referred to you guys as team. Well done. Sinead and Richie are taking out all thanks to Neon, the $50,000 secret sound. Soundkeeper Owls. Hello. How are you feeling now?

Could we break down some of these clues? Absolutely. Do we want to do all of them or just a few? I'm looking level three. I reckon we can do them quickly because people want to know all of them or just a few? I'm looking level three. Let's go. I reckon we can do them quickly because people will want to know all of them. Clue one was level three made me. Yes. So the secret sound was made during Auckland level three lockdown.

It was accessible to me in my little bubble. Okay. Simple. Clue two, buy now, use later. Very self-explanatory. Chili bins are often an item purchase and stored for long periods of time. So you buy them and you use it later. And you use them later.

The third clue was in New Zealand Sign Language. What did that say and what did it mean? Yes, so I was taught by a member of the New Zealand Sign Language Committee. So this translates to, hey, Soundkeeper Ella. Oh, hey, I'm Soundkeeper Ella. Here's a clue. This weekend, don't forget the secret sound. So I'm saying because we can now go on picnics,

everyone's going to go on their picnics and bring their chilli bin. Yes, and then their picture clue. Now, everyone was confused about this. It's like a reel-to-reel audio player. Tape machine. And it had the number 1994 on it. So 1994, the band Reel the band reel to reel released the single the classic single i like to move it move it alluring to the fact that a chili bin is a

transportable item we move it oh that is so that like is so loose stretch um clue five was gb um Clue 5 was GBUM714039202-09. Yeah, so this is a time code clue to Sam Smith's music video of his song, I'm Not the Only One. Now, there are many different types of chilli bins, not just one. So, I'm not the only one. But also, immediately after he sings that line, he's surrounded by bottles of wine, which could also be kept in those chilli bins.

A little bit of a double clue. Okay, clue six was text big clue to 9696. What did that do? Well, this sent you to a video on TikTok, and the chilli bin was hidden inside this room. It was full of junk and everything. However, it was hidden there, and you can see it at 11 seconds in the video on the bottom right corner. There was then a clue

at neontv.co.nz? Yep. It coordinates to watch two seasons from Brooklyn or two scenes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One scene spoke about the secret sound literally and then Jake also just says cool, cool, cool, cool, cool in the other scene referring

to a children. Which is cool, cool, cool, cool, cool in the other scene referring to a Chilean. Which is cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Of course, the extended sound and then the hot or cold hotline yesterday. The clue was in the fact that it was a hot or cold. Yes, well... Oh! It was a cold. Cold, it was just cold, yeah.

And how many people yesterday when they called the hotline guest said to you Chilean? Okay, I think around four or five, and I felt terrible, but I was giving them a clue. It's cold. I didn't say no. It's cold is what I said.

And there you go. There you go, guys. Cheeky bitch. Thank you, cheeky bitch. Wow. All right, well, there you go. It's another season of ZM's $50,000 secret sound

All thanks to Neon Watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon Sinead taking it out and she can get a car she can do some renos and go on holiday Can you play it one more time? I need to associate it.

That was the extended sound. Right. Still sounds wooden to me. It's not a wooden chili bin. You're just upset because you didn't guess it this year. Yeah, I've never guessed it So I was not going to do anything different Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan

Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day Is that on March the 5th in the year 2000, Ines Romero Perez. Yeah. That's a lot of... Ines Romero Perez.

Yeah. Or Ines Perez. That's her first name, last name. Yeah. She's a woman. She's a 40-year-old mother of seven. She made medical history on March 5th, 2000 by performing her own C-section. There is a woman that has performed her own C-section

and the first woman to ever perform a C-section on herself in which both the baby and the mother survived. Jesus. How did she administer painkillers? She didn't. Good God. Wow. This is a wild ride.

A wild story. Did she have to do this? Was she in the middle of nowhere? Yes, she was in the middle of nowhere in a one-room cabin home. She was unable to seek medical help or attention, and her husband, who was also her birth coach and assistant during labour of their previous children, was out at a cantina.

Now, I... The pub. He was at the pub. You say cantina, it sounds slightly more cultured. Yeah. He was out at a cantina and didn't have a fine. It was the year 2000, not everybody had cell phones. That's where you should tell your wife you're off term. To the cantina.

Yeah. I'll wait till the cantina's open again. I'll be like, hey. So she'd been in labour for 12 hours and she said it was unbearable pain. You've got to remember she's got seven kids already. She knows what it's all supposed to feel like. Now question, is she a medical professional by training? Oh, God.

So she's cutting in the dark. She's got the kitchen knife. Had she had any previous C-sections? I can't find whether or not. The line would already be there. Yeah, it would be like, okay, that's where I need to cut. Like a perforated edge. Yeah.

Or a light cut along the lines. Oh, I feel sick even thinking about this. As someone who's had a C-section, I feel a bit lightheaded. So she said she knew it wasn't going to happen the old-fashioned way out the canal. So she said, well, I've got no knowledge where she found the sharpest knife. I'm not going to go into detail. That's a hell of a thing.

She got it done. She reached in there. Then what? This is where it gets even better. She pulled the baby out. And as a final act of bravery before fainting due to blood loss, she cut her umbilical, her new son's umbilical cord with a pair of scissors and tied it off.

And then passed out. This is wild. But then she obviously survived. She regained consciousness. She said to her oldest son. Oh, I forgot. The other kids, were they there? Yeah.

Oh, God. And she's cranking them. Because her oldest, you remember Mother of Seven, her oldest kid's eight. Right. So she said, you need to go find help in town. And she bandaged up her wound with a sweater. I don't think that's sanitary. Jesus.

Unless it's been freshly washed. Did she wash her hands before the surgery? And then the son found someone. Health workers arrived and they found her next to the newborn infant. They took her to a medical centre 16 hours after she

delivered it herself. So that means 4 o'clock in the afternoon because she did it around about midnight. 4 o'clock in the afternoon because she did it around about midnight. Four o'clock in the afternoon the next day she underwent surgery at a hospital to repair the incision site.

She's superhuman. Is this, where is this? Mexico. Mexico, wow. Yeah. And you know how long she stayed in hospital?

Until they closed her up? 10 days all up. Oh, wow. Which when you have a C-section, how long did you stay? Oh, I was only in there two nights. days, all up. Oh, wow. When you have a C-section, how long did you stay? Oh, I was only in there two nights. Oh, tough, bitch. Oh, tough, yeah.

I've got to go. I've got to get home, mate. You just wanted to get outside for a ciggy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not standing here. Look, I've got to be sitting here. Lawns need doing. I love when you go past the hospital and these people grasp and go into drip bags

and they're having a ciggy. It's like, I think you're defeating the purpose here somewhat, but okay. He's a silly, silly person. He makes me feel woozy, to be honest. Apparently the obstetrician gynecologist who examined her at the hospital wrote a

journal entry on it that was published in the Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics. Yeah. They said she did a pretty good job. Oh, okay. All right. Megan, question.

Someone has raised a good point on the text machine. How long was the dad at the bloody pub? A long period of time has elapsed. I know. But she said the labour was 12 hours

by the time it got to midnight. So either he'd been at the pub all day or it got to 4 o'clock and he's like, I just can't stand the noise. I'm nipping down the cantina. I'm nipping down the cantina. So today's Fact of the Day is on March the 5th

in the year 2000, a woman performed her own caesarean section and it was the first one where both mother and baby have lived to tell the tale. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, day, day. Yeah. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 45 days, 15 hours, 20 minutes, 40 seconds away.

Less than two months. I can't believe it's 45 days. It's a month and a half if we're doing fractions. I've definitely noticed, especially in the supermarkets, in the last couple of weeks, it has gone up notches in Christmas penetration. And with retail reopening in Auckland today. Tomorrow. Midnight tonight, yeah.

Am I right in saying that? Yeah, midnight tonight. You know I love retailing. I know you do, sweetie. Christmas penetration. Tell everyone about your balls. Do we want to know about your balls? Well, one of them.

Because Henry sent me a photo of your balls too. Yeah, so giant balls. One of them's giant. Do you need to go to the doctor for that? One of them's striped and one of them's giant. Oh, Christ. And one of them's red. Oh, you definitely need to see someone.

Down in the Britomart Square outside the train station in Auckland, they have erected gigantic Christmas ball balls. That's lovely. Yeah, it was. That's quite lovely. Although one of the Christmas balls that the council uses, they've gone over it in red vinyl, and you can see it used to be here for the soccer.

Remember when we had that FIFA World Cup? I like that. They've upcycled it. They've upcycled, but you can still see the soccer ball pattern up close, and I don't like it. It annoys me, because I know what they're doing. They're cheapening out. Well, I like it, because it's a reused, recycled.

What's that stuff you put over top of nails when you put a nail into a jib board, and then you sand it off? Plaster. Yeah, could you not just plaster it and then sand it down? Oh, you plaster out the gaps. Well, you can. I mean, yeah, I don't know. Look, I don't know how the ball was made, but maybe you could.

Sure. Other reports of Christmas penetration sure have been flowing in lately. God, I screencapped some really stupid shit, I tell you that much, because when people have been sending it to me on my own personal Instagram, I'll pop a little screencap. Yeah. Well, Sally did the same thing. She said, bloody beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Screen cap from Spark. Merry Christmas from Spark. Get two Great Britain's bonus data. Oh, that might be gigabytes. Bonus data. So they're doing a little bit of a Christmassy, like, I don't know, send your partner a festive picture of your genitals. Here's a few bit more a Christmassy like, I don't know, send your partner a festive picture

of your genitals. Here's a few bit more data to do it. A lot of genitals are two gigs. Yeah. Christmas Penetration Update from Morgan

in the Bay of Plenty. I'm not sure if this has been said but their Christmas song has been played at Bayfair. Oh, okay. Is that too soon

for Christmas songs? No. Okay. First of November. You'll remember if you're a long timetime listener of the show, basically as soon as the big old Santa went up on Queen Street in Auckland, that was it, wasn't it?

That was the sign that Christmas was here and we joked last time, didn't we, that Christmas this year felt like how the Santa is. Dumped in the bottom of a water quarry. Decaying. Yeah. With rabbits living inside his wiggly finger. His holes, yeah. Do you want to see something depressing?

Oh, have you got a picture of it? No, they did not take a photo. Scott said, thanks, Scott. Oh, no. Here's the Santa. It's the shade of my dreams. It's quite small. But that's the Santa.

So he's in Wanaka. They literally just dumped it in a quarry. It hasn't moved since it got there. His face isn't even near his body. He looks like he's been chopped up and decapitated and left in a quarry. Yeah, that would be the saddest thing. I'd love to see the Google Maps. If your kids are misbehaving in Wanaka, though,

great way to get their behaviour back on track. That's been there for a while, right? That would be on Google Images, right? Google Maps satellite. I don't know. How often do they redo that again? It's intermittent. Look for a Wanaka Quarry. Wanaka Quarry.

Because if that's on Google Maps, because it's facing up, all the parts are spread out. They've done that for Google Maps. They've totally done that. Do you reckon? I don't reckon they would have totally done that for a Google Satellite. They 100% have. I reckon all the bits are up just so the paint's not sitting downward. You reckon? So it wouldn't deteriorate as much.

Do you know the name of the quarry? No, I don't, sorry. Well, Megan, it's Wanaka. There's like one quarry. There's one of everything. I don't know. Peach messages in as well. Christmas penetration at Countdown in Bukino.

Some quality Christmas treats here. Oh, my countdown put up its tree like a week ago. Did it? All go, yeah. Well, I also reckon if you're in Pocono, keep an eye out for the person grabbing more Christmas mints. It's not as unusual because they might be the one that won all that massive lotto draw a few weeks ago. Oh, yeah.

That'll be a giveaway. They said it's all go. There's even gluten-free plum puddings. Oh, lovely. Joel wants us to know that Bundaberg have been penetrated by Christmas. Bundaberg have released their spiced ginger beer. Oh, I might give that a go. Do they do it low sugar or no sugar?

I don't know, Nan. Why are you watching? There's a lot of sugar in that, yeah. Yeah. We joked about before when we were unwrapping those countdown bricks you bought Jared how important the end of the aisle is for peddling Christmas wares, and Nicola says that is indeed the case.

And she's counted six different aisle ends that were dedicated to Christmas in her supermarket. So whilst Christmas has been there, it's really starting to dominate the area. So with all that in mind and 45 days away from Christmas. Dasher, dancer, get your reins on. Christmas penetration is at... A massive 75%.

Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And if you see any Christmas creeping in, screenshot it. Send it to us, FBMZM. Yes, well, just to update you, I've found the poor old bugger on Google Maps. You remember the Farmers Queen Street Centre. We last reports at a quarry in Wanaka and we've received photos. Yes, Scott said we'd asked what Nicky was in. Yeah, a friend, Raewyn's messaging,

she said he's out the back of the toy museum in Wanaka, which is behind the airport, I believe, the Wanaka airport. And I've just looked on Google Maps. You can't get a good zoom in high res, but you can see him broken up and lying in the quarry from a satellite. Yeah, you can make out his head. Wow. Yeah.

You really realise how big he is when he's compared to buses and stuff. It's really big. Somebody said actually my friends own the place and they're making sure Santa stays okay and isn't getting eaten by rabbits.

That's good. To be honest, they bought it. They didn't promise it was going to be up. No. The first Christmas. It would cost a fortune to put that up. Oh, yeah, yeah, no. It's fiberglass, too.

You know what it's like when you get to this time of the year? You've got lots of outside jobs to do. Yeah. Weeds they're doing, hedges they're trimming, lawns are hard to keep on top of. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. I think I first saw this Sunday afternoon. We'll plant one tree for every pet picture.

And everyone was up. Because it's a new feature on Instagram, right? Yeah. Because I've seen it before. It's like add a photo of your Land Rover. Because that's one of the accounts I follow. And everyone was sharing it. And you could click on the thing and you could see all the photos.

It was pretty cool. But this one was even cooler, because it gave you the chance to show off your pet, and it gave you a chance to plant a tree. Now, those are two things that tick a lot of boxes. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm super cynical, but the first thing I did is I clicked

it, and it just opened my camera to take a photo. And I was like, oh, where's this from? No, you can't see where it's from. You can't see where it's from. So I Google Newsed it. I Googled it. There are literally no, I think there's one or two articles that are very vague and really can't tell you anything about it. Because they don't know.

They don't know. They don't know who started it. No one knows where it's from. No one is planting an effing tree for your tittles. Also, what's it up to? Last time I looked it was up 700,000. No, no, the last one I saw was posted last night had 1.5

million. That's nuts. But then there could be different ones as well. There could be multiple. It's just, it's ridiculous. But no one's questioned it because they just wanted to put up a cute pic of their pet. I know, and it's a nice sentiment. We'd all love more trees to be planted to save the planet. It's a lovely sentiment.

That's why I think everybody did it so freely is because it's easy to do and you felt some sort of good out of it. Young people are becoming those, you know, aunties and uncles that post those $500 Mit might attend voucher prize things. That is the equivalent. It's the equivalent, isn't it? Except that's an unrealistically large prize when you do the basic maths on it.

So is the planting of like bajillions of trees. Didn't India plant like eight majillion? Majillion, by the way. That's bigger than all of the other ones. Trees, the government was just like, we can probably do this. And it kind of proved to everybody how governments can just be like, we can plant some trees. Well, I want the person that started this found and absolutely build.

They're going to need you to send all your apple seeds. Every time you're eating an apple now, spit the seed into a wet napkin and send that to them. They've got a lot of trees to plant. Oh, my God. You would just be planting forever. I was toying with the idea yesterday. This is the sort of fight that continually goes on in my head.

Okay. I should start a conspiracy that it's pet thieves that started it so that now they... If you've got a public account, they can see... I don't know if this is even possible, but this is the thing about conspiracies. Nothing about it needs to be true. No.

You could say they can geotag your pet, and now you've pretty much just supplied them with a shopping list of dogs and cats they want to steal. Yeah, because they're microchipped. Yeah. And then the Democrats ate them. Bingo. They ate the blood of them.

Yes, that's right. Because they can't get enough blood from the children that they're getting the blood from. Because JFK Jr. will be coming back from the dead and the blood from the animals will feed him and he will use that to energise himself to become the next president of the United States. And then animal blood mixed with ivermectin.

Yes, cures COVID. But also makes you a superhuman. And so because you're posting your pet, you're actually helping them. And this is what Jesus wanted all along. Yeah. See, you laugh, but people believe. That was fun.

Wasn't it fun? It was a bit of improv, a bit of yes and. You know? Yeah. Maybe that's all this, like, conspiracy theory, QAnon, COVID's not real situation. It was just an improv class that got out of hand because you know those theater kids. They can't be stopped.