ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 9th September 2020

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

Tony Hawk Pro Skater  Electric Fly Swatters  Fletch went to the Dentist  Mask Littering Jingle  Have you planned your funeral?  Doctor Sash  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe Coffee for delicious barista-made coffee. On the go. On the go? Yes. On the go? Is that what I say? On the go?

It is on. I think I've added that bit on. On the run. On the boil. On the boil. They've got the jug on. Yeah, right. Okay, great.

Maybe imagine pulling up to McCafe and they're like, we'll just turn on the zip. And they had a wall-mounted zip. This is not the case as it's barista made. No, yeah. It's not an instant in a big pot being made for multiple people at a community hall. Just us, Vaughn, Megan's in the makeup department. Us and the zip. Us and the

zip. Ever overfill a zip and the water gets caught in the whistly bit? I feel like you're a very niche audience, zip users. Okay, so what a zip was, was it was a wall-mounted water boiler. In staff rooms, they're big in staff rooms. Huge in staff rooms. Community halls. And the brand was zip, wasn't it? Zip, but they still make many water boiling apparatus.

They do hot water cylinders, don't they? It was on the wall and you'd turn on a tap, generally sort of bench-mounted tap, and the they? It was on the wall and you'd turn on a tap. Yeah. Generally sort of bench mounted tap. Yeah. And the water would go up into the zip and it had a measurement gauge on the outside that would tell you

how much water was in the zip and there would be a maximum line. Yeah. Now it needed to be the maximum line because if you overfilled it when it got to boiling

it would expand and it would bubble out and whistle. It would be trying to whistle and it would be like spinning hot water on all that came with this. They don't whistle now, and they just automatically fill, don't they?

Yeah, and then they turn off, and then you might see some steam coming out of them. Oh, how I miss the days of a potential third-degree burn at any moment from a boiling zip. We used to get sent at school. The teacher would say, go turn on the zip like 10 minutes before. Really? And so you'd go into the staff room? Yes. And you'd flick on the zip. I went to a small rural school. Our staff room was also the sick bay.

What's that? Pretty horrible place to go for a smoker when you're a teacher and have to deal with a vomiting child. Yeah, yuck. Those were the days. Enjoy the podcast. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletchvorna Megan. The podcast. Welcome here. Fletch Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan.

What? Nothing. Why are you looking at me and laughing? I didn't laugh. What? No, I'm not. I don't know. Do you see him?

He totally looked at me and laughed. Yeah, but it was something Anya said. She stoked the fire and pumped the ballast. Why did you two talk and then look at me and laugh? You are being so paranoid. We were just laughing about something nothing to do with you. It's always about me. Everything's about me. Yeah, exactly.

Always making it about you. The top six is coming up on the show before seven. It is. Apparently streaming games of chess on Twitch is doing really well. People are watching. Twitch is the streaming service. Gaming, isn't it? Yeah, but anything.

There's that New Zealand Twitcher streamer on Twitch that does carvings. Oh, I can understand that. That's who the Prime Minister did a Twitch video with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big wooden carvings. That would be like, what do you call it? Like calming. Yeah, relaxing.

Yeah, what? Like a Bob Ross Netflix. Oh, yes. That's good for the soul. Yeah, right. People are also watching chess. People play games of chess. They've got the top six other board games

that would be good to watch on streaming services. Maybe they're the ones that... End in fights. End in a fist fight. Like dictionary. Yeah, it could be anybody's game right until the end. Yeah. Your chance to win cash this morning,

$8.25 will give you today's fact of the day. All thanks to Save My Bacon. And then you've got to be listening at 12 and 4 to win the cash. Next on the show, a Blenheim man has had a spelling whoopsie. You spell Blenheim wrong. It's very hard to spell.

I before A except in Blenheim. Megan's got the saying. You had the saying. Bees love something, something, even in Marlborough. Eating native honey. Oh, it might be there. Even in Marlborough. It's even in Marlborough that you need to remember Oh, it might be that. Even in Marlborough.

It's even in Marlborough that you need to remember. That's the part that's the... Yeah. It's the E-I-M. E-I-M. Right, okay. E-I-M.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. That's the sound of Vaughan perusing a menu, a restaurant menu. Oh, yeah. I believe.

Yes. It's a little Brazilian flair. Oh. We go to South Americans. They know their meats. We go to Blenheim and a restaurant, which we have just been perusing the menu. Gramados. Gramados.

Gramados. Oh, meet the chef. Don't mind if I do. Eduardo, the main man in the kitchen. Eduardo, he cooks an awesome steak. That's all I need to know. I'll see you soon. Is that all it says?

That would be amazing if that's all it says. It says he cooks a great steak. Oh, you can get a Brazilian cheese bread. What do you guys want? What are you feeling like for mains? There's a Brazilian fish. There's porco loco, which I believe is pork, right? Crazy pork.

Isn't loco crazy? He's crazy pork. Slow cooked pork belly. Oh. Served with Cremado's homemade Brazilian guava sauce. Ay, ay, ay. Guava sauce. Beautifully spicy and sweet with a hint of hickory barbecue,

smoked chipotle, cinnamon chiles, and then more chiles. Chipotle. Chipotle. How do you say it? Chipotle. Hello, I'm here for your chipotle. How do you say it? Chipotle.

I don't know. Fijada. I've always wondered because whenever I'm Googling things about Fijas, it always comes up Fijawada, which is like Fijab with da on the end. It turns out to be a traditional bean stew. Well, a man was asked to leave this delicious-sounding restaurant. He was a 36-year-old. Ashley was his name.

He was asked to leave for being too intoxicated at about 9.45 p.m. on Friday. My question is, how do you get drunk at a restaurant that's serving this food? Because I would just forget about the drinking and I'd just be all about eating. And then you know when you get too full to get drunk? And you're like, alright, bedtime. Yeah, but you say that,

but I've also, you know, you can get into the cocktails. Oh, don't get me wrong. And also, like, sometimes people take ages to order, so you have a beverage or two. Well, he'd become agitated, so they asked him to leave.

He actually went across the road to his house to grab a pink spray can from his work vehicle. This is according to a police summary of facts. Oh, hit the road, yeah. He then went back outside the restaurant where he wrote on the footpath, R-I-R-E, you off. R-I-R-E. Police off. R-I-R-E. Police believe it was a misspelling of rip you off. And he's been charged with graffiti of public property,

which he admitted at the Blenheim District Court on Monday. His lawyer, speaking on behalf of the man, said he had made a stupid mistake while intoxicated. He'd had no conviction over the last several years, and was in full-time employment. Also, if you're trying to prove that you're not wasted, like, I'm not trying. Right.

Right. He was fined $200. Is that all? Did he have to clean up his bloody mess? And apologise to Eduardo? Cooks a mean steak. Who cooks a lovely steak. I'm looking at the cocktail menu.

I can see how it got out of hand. Right, okay. Yeah, they've got lots. They've got a Brazilian old-fashioned, Brazilian gold cacacha. This has been a brilliant advertisement for the place because I want to go there. Man, I want to go there so bad. They've got lots and lots of... Should we just go?

Should we just go? Yes, we shall. How much are flights to Blenheim with social distancing at the moment? Do you want me to Google it? Flights. Well, I mean, we can't go to Brazil, so... Fair call, Megan, fair call.

Although I'd say these flights will probably be as much as going to Brazil pre-COVID. When do you want to go? We'll go Friday. Okay. And then come back. Friday the 23rd? Yeah, and then we'll come back.

Well, you're booking a few weeks out. Why are you booking so far out? Oh, when do you want to go? Oh, shit, it's only the 9th. Okay, so let's see about going tomorrow. Okay. Coming back Sunday. We might as well make a weekend.

We might make a weekend. And all three of us. Tomorrow's not Friday either, by the way. Oh, no, something to look forward to. What's happened? Why did it take me back to these dates? Maybe there's none available. No, there will be some bloody flights available, or there'll be hell to pay.

Why does it keep doing this? Well, there can't be any flights. No, there are. Non-stop, from Auckland to Blenheim $264. One way. Each. Looks like it. Okay.

Each. And what about on the way back? More no, my problem is that's probably on par with what I'm going to

spend eating at this restaurant. So plans off? It's starting to get pretty expensive a weekend away. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

the podcast. I have been a little bit jazzed About this video game For nostalgic purposes This is the Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 and 2 Remastered

Same tracks But all high def If you had a Like a Was it a Playstation? Original Playstation? And then Playstation 2 These were the

These were You could spend hours Playing Tony Hawk And it made Tony Hawk more money than skateboarding ever did. Actually, that's crazy.

Yeah, because he put his name to it. I think they pretty much had it designed or this idea for the game and they went to Tony Hawk and he was like, okay,

and then that, oh, he made him. He's worth $140 million. Yeah. So yeah, he's done all right. A good chunk of it

from the video games and then that boosted His profile with people Outside of skateboarding as well He's hilarious To follow on Twitter Because all these people Always say

You look like Tony Hawk And say stuff like that to him Yeah Or he's at a skate park And people are like Oh can you skate and stuff Like Yeah you're old

You're old guy Can you skate And he like always Posts about it Watch your kids skate And he's like Yeah And then somebody said Oh your name's Tony Hawk Like the skateboarder Tony Hawks oh, you old guy, can you skate? And he always posts about it. Watch your kids skate. And he's like, yep.

And then somebody said, oh, your name's Tony Hawk, like the skateboarder Tony Hawk's. He's like, yep. It just goes with it. Well, the Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 and 2 re-release has caught some controversy, excuse me, some controversy as one of the purchasable in-game tattoos is tamako. You can buy for $100 in-game dollars for tamako. And yeah.

People have an issue with that, I'd imagine. Yeah. Rightly so. Yeah. It's not, this is what people in the know. I know that it's very special and each one to the individual catered specifically and carries much mana with it. I've never talked to anybody specifically about the ones I've got,

but I have seen the stories and know enough to know that it's not something to be played with. Yeah. Or drawn on for a laugh or make money off. To make money off. Yeah. By downloading. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's caught some controversy. There's a few different versions of it as well in game. And isn't it called something... Polyface. Yeah. Wow. One of the options is... Polyface. Yeah, that's... Wow. One of the options is called Polyface.

That's not good. So that's being taken down? I would... Because that's the thing with games now. If you can see something that is problematic, you can do a patch so then it downloads. The game can download a patch and it can be removed. And yeah, I'd say there'd be contact made about that being in the game. so then it downloads. The game can download a patch and it can be removed.

And, yeah, I'd say there'd be contact made about that, being in the game. And, yeah, be interested to see what happens from here on out. We've got a referendum to consider. Referendum, we learnt, was the plural of referendum. It's like sheep. One sheep or five sheep. Same thing. One referendum plural of referendum. It's like sheep. One sheep or five sheep. One referendum or two referendum. If it's on the same

ballot paper, which it will be, then it is just referendum. But we've got the legalisation of marijuana to consider and also the end of life choice bill. Just briefly on the end of life choice bill, I've seen a lot of billboards and they're up amongst the political hoardings. Yeah.

Vote safe NZ and it says stuff like lethal dose with no parental permission required. That's obviously freaking people out, that wording. Yeah. Because everyone's just imagining their 17 year old. Are all just going to go and...

Just have themselves put down. Yeah, okay. So that's... year old are all just going to go and just have themselves put down. So that's, and I've just looked it up and that's very anti that's not some sort of like don't go there thinking it's an impartial presentation of

facts on the end of life choice. It's not. Just like I'm not. I'm voting yes for that. You saw that on a hoarding. Yeah. Is there any regulation for stating facts on these hoardings? I've been on their website and it says they are a charitable trust,

but they're also registered as a third party promoter with electoral commission for the End of Life Choice Act referendum. So I don't know what that means, but that makes me feel like they are registered and maybe that's why they can put their hoardings up and make it look like a political party or that it might be presenting a place to go to get balance. But it's not. It's anti. Yeah. Okay. So I just think those things are being worded to specifically freak you out because they are anti. Yeah. But the other

thing I wanted to talk about is that research has shown that legal cannabis, when taxed, could earn the government nearly $1 billion in a year. Or just over a couple or the next wee while. Well, it would be due to a short-term spike in consumption because there would be this whole, let's go and do it. I mean, it's Lego now.

We might as well see what's happening. And that it's just, the people would be supplying and then the sales of which would lead to a billion dollars once you put the tax on it because it will be heavily taxed. And I like the approach lately.

Again, I'm not going to present this with any unbiased because I'm probably voting yes for that as well. After talking to Chloe Swarbrick and hearing a very compelling argument on her side, which she is for, and then just hearing that and the latest little bit saying

marijuana sold illegally funds gangs, marijuana sold legally funds hospitals. Much prefer to see the hospital with the tall fence outside. And also, like, we're going to need to pay for all this COVID stuff. A billion dollars would come in handy. Even if we didn't have to pay for the COVID stuff,

a billion dollars would come in handy. Have you seen the moldy schools? So, yeah, apparently legal cannabis could, yeah. Woo! A billion dollars. A billion dollars and that would only be with the laws

as it is put forward. So people 20 years or older. Right, okay. Yeah. So that's just another thing to consider this election day. Got to be some

hated family arguments over this, won't there? No, it's weirdly not in my family. Oh, yeah, because your mum's all for it. Mum's got a sore hip at the moment. She told me, she's like, if it's legal, what's the problem? She's never, I said, have you ever

smoked, like, when you were younger, did you ever try it? And she's like, no, I've never, ever tried it. I said, you might want to start with some edibles then. She's not a smoker. She'd cough and then she wouldn't like it. I said, you might want to start with some edibles then. She's not a smoker. She'd just cough and then she wouldn't like it. What about when they went to Amsterdam? Did they not nip into a cafe? I don't believe they did.

No. Interesting. I don't think they did. Let me confirm that. I'm pretty sure they didn't. I can imagine Dad just getting a bit stressed and just popping down the farm. Walking down the farm. He. Walking down the farm. He wouldn't take the motorbike.

He wouldn't drive that when he's baked. He'd just go for a little walk, maybe sit in the paddock with the cows and smoke a spliff. Well, who knows? Maybe next year there'll be a Morrinsville dispensary. There will be. Well, I tell you what, he's got a bit of land and it can't be turned into a paddock for dairy. We should get in there. Fence it off. Grow a little marijuana. Someone did grow marijuana in there once. He thought it was me, but it can't be turned into a paddock for dairy, we should get in there. Fence it off.

Grow a little marijuana. Someone did grow marijuana in there once. He thought it was me, but it wasn't. It was all fenced off. It was a great system. Okay. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Chess is taking over

Twitch, I'm told. Twitch, if you don't know, is an online streaming service where you can watch, generally it's video games, but it's just turned into streaming anything, really, if people are interested in what you're doing. You can watch, there's the New Zealand

Prime Minister today, a Twitch. The other day visiting Rotorua. That would actually be, I'd actually quite Zealand Prime Minister today, a Twitch. Yes. The other day visiting. Carving. Yeah. That would actually be, I'd actually quite like that, just watching you carving. Yeah, me too. You could really put it on the telly and just kind of like have it as background. Yeah. Pop back every now and then and see how he's going.

I feel really bad that we've, let me find his name. Twitch streamer carving NZ. Bronx. Bronx. Bronx. Twitch streamer carving NZ. Brox? Brox? Brox? It's Brox, but it's got an H on the end. Broxer? Oh, okay.

So, yeah, Jacinda Ardern did some Twitch streaming carving with him. But you can log on and watch these guys play chess, including Grandmaster Hikaru Nakamura. He's got 528,000 followers on Twitch, and he only started when COVID-19 started. Do you think he does any kind of Slim T endorsements as well? Is he an influencer on the side, a chess influencer? I don't know.

There's a screencap here, and he's sitting in front of just like a standard fan. Now, I was thinking if he was a real influencer, he'd have a Dyson bladeless fan. True. He also hasn't pulled the curtain in the background, so we're getting a lot of lens glare off the outside light. Amateur. He's very good at chess, apparently, so lots of people are watching chess. The appeal of watching a game of chess.

Maybe it's soothing, just like the carving. It's tactical, right? Yeah. And maybe he's also, after he makes a move, explains why he makes that move, but not too much because the opposition might be watching him too much and they'll know what his next plan is. But I've got the top six other games that would be good to stream.

Okay. Our family games. Number six, the game of life. Do you remember that one? Even if it went badly, it never had COVID, so it's already a better Game of Life than the life you've been playing in 2020 so far. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six other board games that would be good to stream, Mahjong. Now, I don't know a lot about it, but I've seen a few hot people playing it on Instagram, and that was an enjoyable watch. I don't remember Megan playing Mahjong on Instagram. How do you play Mahjong? Is it dice?

Tiles. No, it's not dice. Mahjong is a tile based game that was developed during the Qing Dynasty in China. Yeah, kings and queens play it. Okay. No. Q-I-N-G. Oh.

Not king. Okay. But a bit of mahjong. Some nice mahjong pieces. People will be watching your stream going, are those a nice mahjong piece? Number four on the list of the top six other board games that would be good to stream are Monopoly.

Because who hasn't wanted to watch a stream of someone punching their grandma in the throat? Oh, my God. I told you, grandma. Put a hotel on Mayfair. I was going punching their grandma in the throat. I told you, grandma. Put a hotel on Mayfair. I was going to punch you in your throat. Rent's coming next week, grandma. Take it out of my inheritance.

Number three on the list of the top six other family games that would be good to stream. Twister. But with hot people. That's the twist on Twister. It's all hot people. Number two on the list of the top six other board games that would be good to stream. Yeah, okay. That's the twist on Twister. Yeah, it's all hot people. Number two on the list of the top six other board games

that would be good to stream. Cranium. Maybe then my wife can give up on somebody else's amazing humming of a song. And not try but then get angry when she loses. And number one on the list

of the top six other board games that would be good to watch a stream of, Connect 4. Because you know when you're watching someone else play Connect 4, you can see them falling into a trap and you're just screaming like, No! And it'd just be so tense watching a good game of Connect 4. There's no greater feeling when you drop one of your tokens in Connect 4 and you've got them either way.

Yes. You can win no matter what they do next move. You're just like, yeah, I got you. I see your, for there's no greater feeling though, and I double down on the fact of when you accidentally get a Connect Four. Yeah, that's usually me. You drop it in. You drop it in and they're like, ah, and you're like, what?

And you're like, no, you got a Connect Four. And you're like, what? Where? Oh, wow. Oh,'re like, no, you've got to keep four. And you're like, what? Where? Where? Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I beat you by accident. This is the greatest game of all time. The bonus trying to guess.

No, that's guess who. Yeah. That would be fun to watch too. That is today's top six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Now, I know, Megan, your mum's got one of these, and I actually have one too.

Do you? But I don't have the other aspect that made this dangerous, but this is aspect one, electric fly swat. The tennis racket type that you push the button. As you swipe, you swat, you push the button, and it zaps. Remember the last time we were at your mum and dad's house for dinner? She went at a cockroach with one of those. And it did not.

She held it on it. Yeah. They love the electric tennis racket. Did it set it on fire or was that another time? The cockroach. Oh, it may have been another time. I mean, I don't love cockroaches, but I felt like that was a bit mean. By the way, where do you buy those from?

Because I'm actually keen for one. I got one in Mitre 10. Okay. Cool. Because August was with me. She really wanted one. She's like, what's that? I was like, oh, you push the button and they get electric

and then you swing it, it flies. She's like, I'll have that. I can't begrudge you, child, for wanting that because I've always wanted one too. And so we got one. But then she pushed the button and touched the wire and shocked herself and that was the last time she picked it up. That's what my brother used to do, chase me around the house.

Oh, yeah. It's so scary, eh? It's not a huge shock, but it's just the thought of being shocked. No one wants to be shocked. It's like putting your tongue on a 9-volt battery. Yeah. Like, and probably wouldn't hurt that much, but I'm just scared to do it.

Yeah. Didn't stop you when you were a kid, though, did it? Only because someone would trick you into it the first couple of times. Yeah. So this guy, in his 80s, he had his electric fly swat, and the fly was buzzing around while he was getting ready for his dinner. Yeah. So he's like, I love you.

But it was in France, so I was probably like, I love you. And he stood up, pushed the button, swiped, hit the fly and exploded. He didn't, well, no, he didn't explode. The fly exploded. There was an explosion. Because he was old, in his 80s, his sense of smell wasn't great, his gas was leaking.

And when he hit the fly, you know how they spark? That was enough to ignite it, it went back to the source of the gas leak, exploded the gas bottle, blew a hole in his kitchen

and his wall. Yeah, his house is very heavily damaged and his kitchen is completely destroyed and his roof's got a hole in it. Do your parents have gas? Yes, and you know

my mum doesn't have a sense of smell. That could easily be my mum. Why did your mum lose her sense of smell? So prior to COVID, like years ago, she had a flu or a cold or something and she lost her sense of smell. Like COVID? Yeah.

Wow, okay. Yeah. Wow. Well, you better get her, I don't know, a fly can, a spray or something. Or one of those automatic misters. There's definitely been times when my dad's walked into the kitchen and he's like. Gas is on. You know the gas is on.

She's like, oh, no, no, I'm just chasing a fly. I'll get back to it in a minute. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, guys. You were a whingy mess. I was a whingy mess. Oish. No, you weren't that bad.

I went to the dentist last week and I needed to get a crown because my teeth move because they're half British. Yeah. And probably because I ate a lot of lollies. But yum. But yum. I've got so many fillings. Anyway. And you drank primarily orange juice when you were growing up?

That's what I reckon. A lot of Raro. I just didn't drink water when I was a kid. And because my dad doesn't like water, we were never forced to drink water. My dad still doesn't like water. He's like 60. He's like, oh, I don't like it.

It doesn't taste like anything. That's my lemon barley drink. Don't drink my bark as lemon barley. Don't drink my bark as lemon barley. That is the cutest thing. I can just imagine your dad mixing up a big lemon barley. Shakes it because he gets the milk bottle. What a weird-ass flavour. Lemon barley. Oh, my imagine your dad mixing up a big lemon barley. Shakes it because he keeps the milk bottle or shakes it. What a weird-ass flavour.

Lemon barley. Oh, my God. No, I'm all about lemon barley. Love lemon barley in summer. Reminds me of haymaking. Well, it's another reason I have a million fillings. So I went in last week to get a crown, the first bit of that. And then a couple of days ago, I just got a lot of aching on another tooth.

And I was like, are you kidding me? Did they not spot this problematic tooth last week when you were there? Well, I did say, I did say, I think maybe there's a bit of a sensitivity there. And they said, well, here's some Sensodyne. Stop being a pussy. I think the exact words are stop being a pussy, here's some Sensodyne. And I was like, and then when I went back, I was like, look, this Sensodyne, it's not, that's not going to cut it. It's got worse. And he's like, look, this Sensodyne, that's not going to cut it. It's got worse.

And he's like, oh, you need a root canal. And I'm like, oh, yeah. He went from Sensodyne to root canal in just one sitting. Or it was a couple of days. No, we did say it could be, but let's just see. But it got worse. And so I was like, okay. And so I went in yesterday for the first part of a root.

Have you ever had a root canal? Yep. I've never even had a filling. Oh, my God. As I added, it was like 10 years ago I got this temporary, ever had a root canal? Yep. I've never even had a filling. Oh my God. Ten years ago I got this temporary. I got a root canal and a temporary thing. Oh my God. Ten years, temporary. So hang on a sec. So you're saying, because I've got the

temporary bit in at the moment, because I've still got another hour. No, don't take tooth advice from him. And it's real cute because it's pink filling. Oh, show me! Can you see? It's pink. Well, I can't see it. Well, you're too far away, but it's right. Right.

If it wasn't COVID, I'd invite you into my personal space and you could really look in my mouth. Right. But it's pink, so I could just leave it and not go back. That's cute. I'm booked to go back next week. Because you meant to abscond, my friend. About a week max, I think I was told,

that you should go back for the rest of your work now. I got it done in 2010. 2015, it broke in half. But five years later, here I am. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So it broke in half and you didn't do anything about it? No. It's got no nerve in it.

It's got no nerve in it, Megan. I can't feel. They took the nerves out, right? Yeah, so it could be really like infected or yuck and you can't feel it. It's insane. Yeah, it's not infected. It's like they're chimney sweeping your root canals with like little kind of flossy metal.

Have you watched an animation on how they do a root canal? It's nuts. Phenomenal. Yeah. It's like a renovation on an old building. They leave up the facade, but they gut it. So with my crown and my root canal, I could have gone to Thailand if we could have flown to Thailand

and got some world class Thailand dentistry and a holiday for less than what I've paid now. But that is life and that's just where to steal with it. RIP savings, but this is why you've got to brush your teeth and not eat so many lollies.

But I did have some fun when I got home last night because I went in at 2.15. I got two injections. I was numb in the face. And I was touching it. And I reckon I didn't stop being numb until about 6.30. That's how much drugs they injected.

Yeah, that's good though. That's the way you want to go on a root canal. Yeah. Like you feel the vibrations and you know if you could feel it, it would hurt to hell. Yeah. So at about 4.30 with a really numb face, I was like, well, I'm going to have a shower. And I was like, oh, I might have a shave.

And I started shaving my face and I was like, oh, I can't feel the shaver. You can't feel how much pressure you're putting on. And I was like, what have I done? What have I done? And I was like, real slow. You look down in the shower, it's just red. But no, I didn't even cut myself, but it was real scary. Oh.

Yeah. Someone texted and said, if you think having a root canal is bad, try it was real scary. Oh. Yeah. Someone texted and said, if you think having a root canal is bad, try being a dental assistant. Oh, yeah. I bet. I mean, there's a lot more to the job, but one aspect is the sucking.

Yeah, they're in charge of the sucking. Unless the splashback. Yeah. I know someone who's a dental hygienist. Yeah. And they're in full PPE. Oh, yeah, okay. Was your dentist great?

Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, well, they had masks and all the safety stuff on. Yeah. Somebody said, my husband had a root canal yesterday, Fletch. Oh, really? Are we root canal twins? Yes, except he was in Mongolia and it cost him $200. Are you effing kidding me?

That's like... And then he probably went to Genghis Khan BBQ. Because those restaurants are everywhere in Mongolia. It's their McDonald's. All you can hear. It really is. Well, New Zealanders have taken to wearing masks quite nicely with COVID-19 and the

re-emergence of COVID-19 in New Zealand for round two of New Zealand versus COVID-19. But now we've got another problem. Single-use face masks are becoming a very having a very high count

amongst the litter picked up around the city. I think because I live in the city, I've seen a few just lying around on the street and in the gutter. Oh. Which is weird because, I don't know, I just don't, like you were saying before, Megan, it's kind of just bred out of you, isn't it? Yeah.

Like littering. I just don't. I just thought Kiwis were like, no, we don't litter. Apart from people who drink Pals. You see that everywhere. Drink a Pals and then toss it out the window in a rural road by Vaughan. Why is it the pastel-coloured vodka drinks that people are just like, well, I've finished that and I tell you what, no calories.

See, the only thing I... No calories, no conscience. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. The only thing I'd chuck out a car window would be like an apple core. Yeah. I'm even... Are you against that?

Well, after I've been told it just feeds pests. Yeah, I kind of don't even do that anymore. Like apples, bananas. You're like, oh, compost. But then people are like, oh, yeah, no, rats. That's like rats love it. But if you've got takeaways in your car, you just leave it in the passenger's seat. Forever.

Down by the footwell forever. Or next time you're at the servo, you just get it all out there and fill the bin up there. Yeah, when your car's filling up with gas or you're putting gas in your car, you open it up and just grab everything and shove it in their bin. But some people just love chucking it out while they're driving. I don't know. I don't get it. But yeah, apparently masks are a huge problem now.

Yeah, one of the, believed to be the biggest increase in what they're seeing in rubbish. So people are walking out of a shop and just being like, done with that, chuck it off. I don't know. Yeah, and then putting on another one. Or chucking it at a bin, but because it's light, it might catch the wind and then they're just like, eh, I tried, didn't I?

Yeah. Didn't I try? And it's probably another good sales point for the reusable mask. You know what we need is a video like that turtle with the straw stuck in its nose. Because I feel that was the video that got everybody onto the reusable straws and against straws. Maui dolphin choking on a mask.

Sure. How many of those have we got now? Not many. Or a national icon. Like a Kiwi. A Kiwi. Like a Kiwi or Ashley Bloomfield. Choking on a mask. Choking on a mask that's blowing into his face.

The gross part about it is that mask is like yuck anyway because it's got all your breath germs on it. Yeah. And then somebody else has to pick it up. Yeah. Or a solid advertising campaign like this wee ditty from the 1990s about putting your rubbish in the bin. Do the right thing.

Do the right thing. Put it in. Put it in. Put it in the bin. Do the right thing. Larry's a senior. Do the right thing. Still remember it.

Wow. Do the right thing. There was a longer version. Right. But then I think that was the 15 second version Of when their funding got cut And they could only afford Half the advertising time

And there was The Be A Tidy Kiwi I remember They brought back that campaign Was that the one Where the Kiwi used its beak As a rubbish spike? Yeah maybe

It couldn't do that With the masks That would encourage Covid to Kiwi bird Yeah Transmission If it was touching the masks

But It's got some got some instrumental music in the system. Do you want him to drop a beat for you? Yeah, well freestyle. Okay, what have we got here? That is a quality jingle

to live up to. Yeah, I know. Probably not that. It's going to feel cultural. I feel like I'm Culturally appropriating The minute I wanted To do a Spanish accent

That's what you Go to I just said Jingle Fiesta jingle Okay Is that not a Yeah maybe you're right

Okay we'll try this one Is that better Yeah And then like It's like light hearted And then it's like Hey you dirty Filthy mongrel!

Because that would be really contrasting and surprising. Okay. But like, you dropped that on the ground? How would you like if I took a shit on your kitchen table? That's what I feel is like we need to get really aggressive, really drive home the message. Or like the message is aggressive but you sing it in a sweet way. Yeah, okay.

How'd you like it if I took a shit? On your kitchen table. Your mother raised you better than this. She's ashamed she ever gave birth to you. That would be. And then at the end, the voiceover's like, put your mask in the bin. And yeah. Yeah.

And then cuts off just before the swear word. What about this one? Hey kids, what are you doing with your rubbish these days? We're doing TikTok dances. It's the latest rubbish been crazed. Put it in the bin, put it in the bin, put it in the bin. Dab. Put it in the bin, the recycling bin, in the other bin.

And then do a dab and then do that dance that goes... Because that's what an advertising campaign needs, is an overuse thing like a dab. Too late to people. Bring it back to the dab. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The El Dorado fire, this is in California, the massive bush fire

was started after a gender reveal party. So on Saturday morning they set off a smoke bomb and it was ignited in heaps of dry grasses. Dry wild grasses. I don't know why you'd want to set off a smoke bomb

in that area, but yeah, that's what ignited the wild fire. A hot graham. Probably a hot Graham. I know that you're smarter than that, aren't you? Like there's tender dry grasses. Oh yeah. 21,000 people have evacuated. I laughed at this headline from the LA Times this morning. Stop setting California on fire to announce your kids' genitals.

It's a fair call. Like it's a fair call, isn't it? Like has it gone too far? Like, there's... You know, most people don't do a big smoke bomb in a tinder dry park. They pop a balloon or there's a cake. And there's a different coloured sponge in the middle.

Because the reality is people are like, the biggest question, do you know what you're having? Are you going to find out? And then later they'll be like, are you having a boy or a girl? Like, I understand gender in these times is a complicated thing. And if, like, of course, my child can choose whatever goes for them when they grow up.

But initially, they fall under like a, you know, like a boy or a girl. So, I don't know. How do we feel about gender reveal parties? Will you be announcing your baby's genitals? But I'm not. It's not as simple as saying that I don't think. Penis! Blue!

Blue! Hear ye, hear ye! Village people. Vagina. That was an old time gender reveal. Yeah. In the 1800s at a castle, I'd imagine. I was planning on just doing something with the family.

Just because we are going to find out. Right. Are you going to do it like a cake? I don't know. Let's not just say family if there's going to be cake. Close friends and associates. Surely, if there's cake.

Work friends, work mates. When did they start? Because the person that started this craze has come out and said, I think enough's enough. Enough already. Yeah. But is it five years old?

Ten years old, this craze? Did you do a gender reveal? Nah. Nah, because we... No. Well, we didn't know with Indy and then with August. Apparently, we did find out. Was it a surprise with Indy?

Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm not down for surprises. You want to know? Yeah. Do you want to know because you're colour coordinating your Kmart buys at the moment? It's purely for clothing.

Right. And I'm not like, girls wear pink and boys wear it because boys can wear pink and I don't care. But like, when it comes to kids' clothes, it's very much one way or the other. Okay. Well, we ran a poll. How do you feel about gender reveal parties? Really surprised. It was surprising. 78%

said they are not in favour of gender reveal parties. Do you think, I was wondering, do you think that's because it's another event you've got to go to, A, which may be socially taxing for you, or B, do you... Why are you pointing at me and saying socially taxing?

Because you don't like going to events. I do not. But if you went to a gender reveal party, are you expected to bring a gift as well? No, I wouldn't have thought so. No, that's a baby shower. That's a baby shower. Right, okay.

So there are a few responses. Someone said, but I am happy to just cut a cake. So I don't know if people were meaning like these kind of gender reveal parties, the outrageous ones, like just stop. Why find out you can't push them back? Can we all need surprises in our lives?

Is what one person said. But yeah, I mean, I just don't, I'm not a big one for surprises. 2008 is the earliest example of a YouTube video featuring it and a woman who ran a blog, High Gloss and Source, also in 2008 on her blog and that's some of the earliest examples of a gender reveal. Right. Yeah. Right, okay.

Another person said, just stick to the cake idea. Americans always have to take things one step too far. Because there was a famous Australian burnout, wasn't there? Yeah, it's more than just America. With the smoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, That was very Australian. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. This, what we're going to talk about comes out because there's a story from the public trust CEO who said that half of New Zealanders over 25 don't have a will. Last will and testament. I don't. If you don't know, last will and testament just ties up all the loose ends,

takes care of all your business. I said, though, when I made you godparent of Major Murray Fluffington, my cat, that you get my cat. Yep. Well, that's one of the things. What do I get? The scratched up couch. Oh, what about my, no, you like my mixer.

Yes. Oh, I win. No, no, no. The cat's got to come with the mixer. There's got to be some sort of, no, you like my mixer. Yes. Oh, I win. No, no, no. The cat's got to come with the mixer. There's got to be some sort of, like, I'm taking on a burden. I don't want to be burdened without the reward. No, you get my KitchenAid mixer because you really like that. You don't do enough baking or cooking.

Well, because I don't have a KitchenAid mixer. Okay, well, yeah. God, I feel like this is what I feel like. I feel like a nan and my two grandchildren are visiting me in the home and they're putting stickers on things. Coloured dot stickers. My nana made me do that.

Yeah, I was at your nana that did that. But did you run the same time as the cousins and you were only put a little bit one dot at a time? Someone did that with coloured dots and like, so you'd be like, okay, there was like a random order decided, like picking teams and sports, and they each had a different coloured dot.

And you were only allowed to put one dot on something and then wait till all the cousins picked something. And then you were allowed to put another dot on something. So everybody was fair. And then by the end of it, everything's covered in dots. Nan had dots on all of her positions. And then when she died,

you got whatever you had a dot on. I don't think my Nana told anyone because after she passed, everyone's like, why is your name written on everything? And I was like, that's what I'm getting. So that's the sort of if you would like to avoid the dots

being put on everything, that's what a will is for. Right. And you don't need to be old or rich to have one. The minute you've got like responsibilities, children, mortgages, businesses, anything. You've got a you're children, mortgages. Mortgages. Businesses. Anything. Anything.

You've got a, you're best to have a will. What about, have you got a will for that? I would be around to worry about it. Who gets the secret donut recipe? Okay, that's my father-in-law's opinion. And all it's doing is heaping worry on everybody else left behind. Okay. He's like, I trust you'll take care of that.

I'm like, no. No, I'm not taking care of anything. You sort it all out before you clock out of this life. But they talk about, with the people who do have wills, the sort of wishes and stuff that people have. Some of them are really weird. Some people put in really

specific, odd things, right? Yeah. Like itemise. Well, somebody just said, in one world in particular, and this is about taking care of pets, if somebody not like put their hand up

to take care of the pet, it didn't say until they were like, yeah, I'll look after the dog. I'll give the dog a good home. That person also got $25,000. But it wasn't stipulated. That's a trick.

It wasn't like, here's $25,000 to look after the cat. It was like, who would like to look after the cat? So it went to the most caring person. Yeah. And then the most caring person also got the money.

I'm allergic. That's not fair. You're allergic to $25,000. Also, you're not getting a cash reward for looking after my cat. Please. She got the mixer. Come on. Come on.

I'm leaving money to particular people but that it has to be spent on particular things that's weird because can you legally do that but it's like fun stuff

it was like this money is being left to you so you can take the whole family to Disneyland oh okay that's cool

and the trip will be all about me right get my name put on some Mickey Mouse ears okay and then pop it on my little funeral.

And then there's, of course, casket. And then there's, of course, the funeral. If you've got plans for your funeral, if there's something you definitely want,

if you don't have it in your will, it could be forgotten or it could be ignored. Yeah, right. Like my Viking funeral is in the will and I will not be ignored. We're not allowed

to just put you on a raft and push you out to Seabourn. You are. It's in my will. It's not allowed. We're not allowed to just put you on a raft and push you out to Seavorn. You are. It's not allowed. It's not allowed. It's not allowed. I've changed location, though. I want it done at a West Auckland beach because there's so many rips.

Just pop me in a rip and it'll just take me out. Because it'll be hard to get me over the breakers otherwise. You ever try getting one of those contenders? You just roll off. Like Tom Cruise in, not Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks in Castaway. Yeah, right. Oh, she came off that raft a few times before I got over the breakers and you don't want that happening to my dead body.

Right, okay. So I need to get up, put me in a rip, up over the breakers. Somebody just wants to get on TV one last time and pay her a rescue, don't they? No, they won't dare go near my flaming body raft in the IRB because it would melt it and then they would sink. It would be disastrous for them.

They'd be best to just let me be. Okay. Right. I am aware at how I don't sound morbid at all when I talk about death. And I don't know how. I don't know why. Because I get sad. I get sad when people die. Yeah, obviously.

But I don't feel like it's worth worrying about too much until it happens because no amount of worry is going to stop it happening. No. And you've got to have a laugh, don't you? About my death. Feel free, when I die, to have a chuckle at the raft as it gets overturned in the breakers.

You're not getting a Viking funeral. I will have it. I'll do my darndest. I will see you in Valhalla my friends. So I would like to know if you've got any I mean this is, our audience is on the younger end of things. Some of them, some of them a bit older. Maybe somebody's

got some notes for their funeral. Nobody's. We're the most unprepared bunch. No but I mean like I haven't got it written down but you've got like ideas. Hey, you've got like okay well I don't want to be cremated anymore because I've watched too many crime shows and my death might have been accident and you might need to exhume me later.

Bury me, you might need to exhume me. To run some tests on my skin to see if I was poisoned. Yeah. It was Putin. By the KGB. Or whether I was pushed down the stairs or whether it was an owl. Yeah, exhume me. Wow, okay.

We've thought about this quite a lot. So you want to hear from people that have an odd request. Have they got like a funeral? It could be something like a song. Right. I mean, I don't know if anyone's going to call for this. It's a bit morbid. For what? It's got a song for this. It's a bit morbid. For what?

Someone's got a song they want as the coffin leaves. The what? Someone's got a song they want as the coffin leaves the church. Bass Hunter, now you're gone. But the Swedish version, because life is confusing. Wait a minute. You find the Swedish version. life is confusing. Wait a minute. I'll find... You find the Swedish version. What is the lyrics?

Now you're gone, I realise my love for you is strong. Yeah. Okay, well, that's fitting. Realise my love for you are strong and I miss you. I don't know if this is the Swedish version. No, it's English, so maybe not. You have to get a march on. Yeah, because I imagine it would...

Oh, yeah, like the marching dudes. So I imagine it would go from something nice like funeral music, like this, into Bass Hunter. Are you ready? Yes! I love that. Okay. Feel free to bring some speakers and put this,

because he's from the Viking area of the world. For your funeral? Yes. Wow, okay. All right, well, I don't know how we're going to go with this. 0800 dials at M9696. Give us a call or a text. Do you have any funeral plans?

Odd funeral plans. Not one of those Keith Quinn pre-planned funeral plans. Any requests? So on the slightly morbid side this morning, we are wanting to know if you have a weird, unusual request or a plan. Somebody said, as I'm lowered into the ground, I want the Cranberry Song zombie to play and then three knocks

to come from inside the coffin. I don't know why three. I like it. I like it. Very specific and you've got to be specific. Emma, good morning. Good morning.

How are you? Good, good. Now, how old are you? You've got a plan. I do. I'm 34. Okay. And what's your plan?

So I've got like a Word document written out. Okay. And because I'm quite a happy, bubbly person, I hate Woolwich Funeral. So everyone is going to be turning up in bright colours, no black. Okay. And I've got all the songs written down. And then because I love running, at the end when I'm taken out, everyone's going to be doing relays with my coffin.

In a set area. Someone drops you. This is like an F45 funeral. And then they're going to do burpees. Wow. Yeah, so what I'm wearing is going to be like active wear as well. Like I want to, you know, I want to be active. Some PE Nation. That's so great. You I want to be active. Some PE nation.

That's so great. You're in your PE nation. Right, okay. How do we get this Word document though, Emma, if the worst happens? Oh, my family and friends

will have it. It's a bit of a program. Right, well, you've already, you've sent it to them. Yeah, yeah, because of my job, like you never know.

So I just think, well, got to be prepared. Your Google Doc. And you could just update it and they'd have the updated Google Doc, wouldn't they? Yeah. Fantastic. Emma, thanks for your call. So many text messages coming in.

We're trying to know if you've got any funeral requests. What are they? Get them in now or forever. Hold your peace. My foster mum wanted us to put a teaspoon of her ashes in our shoes once a week so we could feel a bit of the pain that we put her through on a daily basis. Maybe fostering wasn't for her.

Maybe it wasn't for her. Somebody said, if you're looking for the actual Swedish version of that Bass Hunter song. It's called... It would be confusing because I'm assuming the person that messaged that originally would be young. So in another 20 years, you'll be like, I know this song, but where from? I don't speak Swedish. Did I ever go to Sweden?

Somebody else said, my uncle had a song When he was being lowered into the ground It was that song from Dennis Leary I'm an arsehole Was that his request? Yeah, yeah, yeah, his request Brilliant His request

Somebody said the Scottish funeral My grandad has demanded he gets a traditional Scottish funeral He moved here from Scotland And that's where, much like the Viking Except you get put in a boat and floated down the river and set on fire Wow Waikato It's a traditional Scottish funeral. He moved here from Scotland. And that's where, much like the Viking, except you get put in a boat and floated down the river and set on fire. Wow. Waikato.

Again, I don't think the local authority is going to be down with a flaming boat. You go down to Waikato and you hit the Karapiro Dam, and they're like, what do we do now? Still burning. Janine, you have a request? Morning, guys. Good morning. What's your funeral request?

Yeah, so I went through a cancer diagnosis about five years ago, so I had a little bit of time up my sleeves to think these things through. So my theory is that I want to be put into like dollar mix lolly bags and handed out to about 10 to 20 of the people I actually like. And then they can throw me out wherever they are that they think, Janine would think this place is cool. That's cool. That's cool. I always really like that because when people request

being spread somewhere, you might go and spread them there, but then you might not go back because it wasn't a special place to you. But if they spread it somewhere, they go, every time they go there, they'll think of you. Yeah, and I'm like, well, sneak a bit of me to the Eiffel Tower, you know. What if they go to a nice restaurant and they're like, Janine would have loved this place.

As long as I don't get vacuumed up, I'm fine with that. Janine would have loved Yum Char. Put me in the dried flour restaurant. Put you in the tank with the lobsters at Yum Char. Well, the other side of the theory is that you could be walking down the street one day and get a bit of dust in your eye and you'd be like, is that Janine? Janine. That happened to my wife when she went with her family to spread her grandparents' ashes. The wind

changed when they were on the beach and they got all the ashes blowing back in their eyes and face and her gran was a bit of a prick and it was like everybody agreed it was his one last shot at the family before it was gone. Hey, thanks for your call, Janine. Jess, what's your funeral request?

Oh, hi. My best mate and I have a pact where whoever goes out first, the other one gets to plan it. Okay. And it's going to have bouncers at the front, so whoever you, like, fake friends, they're not allowed in at all. And white shoes. Yeah.

Stand outside and they can wait on anyone, anyone at all who posts on social media. It doesn't matter if it's my mum, anyone who says fly high. They're not coming. Wow. Brilliant. I love coming. Wow, brilliant. I love that. Oh, God. Hey, thanks for your call, Jess. Dan, this is your dad with the funeral request.

So he's wanting to be buried right down the bottom of the South Island, South West corner, with his coffin standing vertically facing west. So why? So he could look out at the view. I have no idea. He's mentioned it a couple of times to me, eh? Right. Is he from...

Well, Dan, you'll need to be braced into the coffin because he'll just slump into the bottom otherwise. Yeah. Go down right into the feet wide. Right, and does he want like a perspex window in the coffin so that he can see out? I haven't got that far with him, but yeah. Just because he's getting buried vertically,

it doesn't mean half of the coffin's going to be above the ground. That would be awful. It's going to be all under the ground. I thought that it would all be standing up above ground. No. Okay, isn't that like a national park, that area anyway? Yeah, lovely. It depends where it is, mate.

This area in particular is not, mate. Oh, right. Okay, you'd probably strike a deal with a farmer then. Yeah, rocky ground though. But hell of a dig. Hell of a dig. Thanks you, cool Dan. No worries.

Good Lord, his voice is deep. I know. He's rumbling my bits. Flesh, faunaan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I was just in the kitchen at work scooping some powdered stuff into a cup. Mine was coffee. Yeah. Celia, who works here, was also scooping something into a cup.

Executive intern, can you grab Celia? Because this is something I want to ask her more about this because I said, what have you got there? And she said, it's protein powder. I said, it doesn't look like it. And she said,

it's also got collagen in it. And I was like, what is that doing? She said, it's making, you know, my hair grow and all this. And I was like,

is that legit? I'm seeing like so many people influencing and posting about collagen. Yes. Yes. I've got quick. Here she is now. Good morning. This is a safe. this is a safe place.

This isn't a roasting. This is, I'm asking questions because I don't know. Now what you were just seeing scooping something into your, was it a protein shake? Yeah. Well, no, it didn't look like protein powder. It had a finer, that's why I said to Celia, what do you got going on there?

Yeah. And she said, I said, is that collagen, is it? And she said, yes, with protein. Yeah, so I got protein powder with collagen in it. You're looking very, your skin's looking amazing. Oh, thank you. How long have you used this for? Really not that long, to be honest.

Only about a month. Right. So still very new to the whole collagen buzz. Have you teamed it up with a change of lifestyle? No. Nothing else has changed? No. So you haven't changed your diet, you haven't exercised more,

you've just added. And have you felt any different, noticed any difference? I have noticed my nails growing a lot quicker. But that's it so far. I mean, it's only been a month and I'm hoping. That sounds like a pain in the ass. Like that doesn't sound like a good thing. I love eating mine.

So I quite like when they rejuvenate quickly. So I can have another yummy chew. Because Lewis Road Creamery, they always do the chocolate milk. They do the collagen milk. Yes, they do. It's kind of everywhere at the moment. And there seems to be so many brands of collagen around.

So I've just Googled collagen on the rise news. Native collagen market to reach US $252 million by 2027. Another headline, much the same. It's a market expected to reach $1.8 billion by 2029. Right. Why is everyone putting... Because they tell you it makes you look better. Hair, skin, nails.

It's the most abundant protein in your body. It is a major component of connective tissue that make up several body parts, tendons, ligaments, skin and muscles. Yeah. So it's supposed to be the fountain of youth. That's kind of what I was. Is it Celia?

That's right. How old are you? Well. Because how old do you look? Oh, God. Tread lightly. Tread lightly. Well, I read somewhere that your collagen stops naturally producing as much when you turn 26.

And I'm 25. Right. So I'm jumping on that train early because I just want to make sure that it doesn't stop. Because I'm really confused by it because I've had tablets. I've tried the collagen supplements. I've tried powders and I've got a million creams you put on your skin.

Hon, you're starting too late. No, but I've never really noticed much, if I'm honest. I've never... I mean, maybe your nails seem... But I've got really noticed much, if I'm honest. I've never, I mean, maybe your nails seem, but I've got like fake nails anyway. I've got like. Because is it expensive?

No. Well, it depends. There's a million different types. How does it grow? You can, there are several foods you can eat to increase your collagen intake, including pork skin and bone broth. I'm down for pork skin.

That's the crackle on a roast. I'm just getting out of the roast shop and be like, hi, I'm looking after myself. One kg of crackling, please. I'm trying to make my skin a little lushter. Vaughan Smith's been on the collagen train forever. And gosh, he's fat.

Isn't he? He's really blowing out. Getting nothing but pork skin the whole time. But like, it's everywhere now. Yeah. And does it work? Well we know a no nonsense doctor. We have her contact details we've talked to her before and I think we try to ask

Dr. Sasha about this whole collagen thing because what if people are just pumping I don't know if you guys know this but the health and wellness industry has been known to tell a tale or two to try to make some of that dollar. Will you listen to this advice, Celia, or would you stop buying it if it wasn't good for you

or it wasn't doing anything? Yeah, I probably would stop buying it. But you're liking the longer nails, so. Yeah, I am. But then if I find out it's actually really bad for me, I'll probably stop. Right. I mean, it doesn't sound like it's bad for you.

It just sounds like it could. It just sounds like it might not be doing anything. Yeah. And we all buy into it, don't sound like it's bad for you. It just sounds like it might not be doing anything. Yeah. And we all buy into it, don't we? But we need a medical professional. Let's get a professional on the show next. Okay. All right, would you like to hear this, Celia?

Yeah. Let's do it. Collagen. We're seeing it everywhere and everything. It's in milk. So many Instagram posts about this. You can put the powder in everything. That's what Celia from the office was just doing, putting it

in her smoothie. So we need to talk to a medical professional to tell us if it's actually doing anything. Dr. Sash, good morning. Good morning. I like you, Dr. Sash. Oh, thanks. I like you too. You're no nonsense.

You cut through the bullshit with a big pair of scissors. I like you, Dr. Sash. Oh, thanks. I like you too. Because you're no nonsense. No, me neither. You cut through the bullshit with a big pair of scissors. Yeah, well, I try. I try really hard, but, you know, Karen doesn't like it very much. Now, yeah, I mean, it's fun to talk to you. Being your partner would be a completely different story. It would hurt my feelings. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Put the scissors down. But we are talking about collagen today, collagen powder. And tablets and lotions and potions. It's such a massive industry. Joining us is Celia from the office who we just caught putting collagen powder into her daily smoothie. I told her this wasn't a roast for a sit-upon, a pile-on.

We're not having a pile-on, but she's interested to know. She's using collagen powder. Yeah. What does it do anything? And if What does it, does it do anything? And if it does, what does it do? And should we be spending our hard-earned money on it? No. Yes!

Oh, my God! No. See you later. Here's the thing, right? If you ingest collagen, so if you're eating it, collagen is a long protein, right? Yeah. And your stomach cannot absorb collagen as a long protein. It just breaks it down, just like all other food, into tiny little pieces.

And then with the tiny little pieces of food that your body decides what to do with it. These little important things are called amino acids and you get them from your food. Primarily proteins. And then your body decides oh right, I'm going to take these amino acids and I'm going to make collagen for

your connective tissue, for your arteries, for your skin, for a whole bunch of things. But your body makes it, right? So you need to provide it with the right ingredients, which is primarily a balanced diet with good proteins. So if you want to have high collagen-looking skin or whatever, make sure you just have a balanced diet with proteins,

and you'll be right. You can't induce collagen. So yeah, if you're putting the collagen in already, your body's like, oh, I don't know what to do, get rid of that. Well, it's a long, long protein. So it's not like you're absorbing the collagen and then it's like, sweet, send it to your skin. It just doesn't work like that. Like at a microbiological level, it's not how it works.

So if you're eating it, you're just eating it. You should just think of it that you're eating it because you like the taste of it, would be my description. See, she's shaking her head. Is it not tasty? No, not tasty at all. And there's a friend of mine who's a skin

specialist. And she does Botox and all of that stuff. She said the same thing, which is that if you eat this stuff, you're only doing it for the taste. If you want to have good results for your skin, you should have a balanced diet, high in protein. So eat a good steak or if you're vegan, make sure you're getting the right amino acids. And you can actually get good skin treatment that the skin specialist will tell you what to do. Primarily that's like sunscreen.

And then there's some other things you can put on your skin like vitamin A's and vitamin B's that actually make a difference to the skin. So what about these lotions and potions and stuff that have collagen in them and I'm putting them on my skin? Well, it depends. That specifically, if it's a cream, you have to look what's contained in the cream. But most of the time, the skin specialist would advise a really good sunscreen and a vitamin A and sometimes a vitamin B kind of a serum

because you're actually putting the vitamins into the dermis of the skin. But I'm not a skin specialist as such, but that's what they tell me in the industry. That's what they generally advise. So what about all these headlines I just read like minutes ago, like the collagen market expected to reach US $253 billion by 2027? Yeah, well, that's just marketing, right?

Wow. So what do you see? Because my Instagram feed is full of people who swear by it, saying long hair, long nails, because they're consuming collagen. Yeah. I suppose it's the same thing we see in all research studies, which is that every single thing, when you study it,

gives you about a 30% placebo. So when people want... It's like, you know, when you're driving down the road and you're looking for a white van, all you see is a white van. It's the same you're driving down the road and you're looking for a white van. All you see is a white van. It's the same kind of thing. It's like you're looking for reinforcement that your choice was good. And that's how placebos work.

You believe that it's true, so then you keep looking for confirmation. And see... Born is just not it. You're born. I am so happy. Because a while ago, I was talking to my wife about collagen, and she showed me the study. I was like, who's that study done by?

And we went to the bottom, and it was done by the people that make it. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the thing. Like, there's heaps of, like, you know, research, I'll say, with inverted commas, right? I think that's the difference. Like, when you go through medical school, or if you're a scientist or whatever,

you figure out that there's, like, there's good science and there's just poor science and there's tons and tons of studies out there that people confirm what they hope to confirm if you know what i mean so what we look at when we look at decent evidence is we say like okay is the study size big enough has it been done in an unbiased way like you know it's not done by the pharmaceutical company that wants to sell it, so on and so forth, because we're looking for a statistical significance, which just means, is it really beneficial? Yes or no? And I think when you understand that

and you look at the research, then you see there's tons of research out there that's just baloney. Right. Totally. Celia, what are you doing with the rest of your collagen powder? You know.

She's already paid for it. She knows I'm eating it. That's my role. If you like the taste of it, you know, you just finish it. But I think the other thing to remember is that when you're eating these things, what are they made of? Often they're made of ground up bones and joints and gristle and like all of this kind of stuff.

Oh, what? Yeah, do you really want to eat that? I don't know. It's really putting me off now. Because I saw hydrolyzed collagen written down a lot and that just means that it's dissolvable in water, right? Yeah. So what, you know?

Yeah, and then I read more about it and it's made from like pigskin. Like I said, pigskin is because it's made of pigskin, fish scales and ground up bones. Oh my God. Yeah, it's just, in essence, it's just, it's just, yeah, it's just kind of leftover stuff that they've flavored to eat. But 5G is still mind control, right? Oh, we are.

Oh man, it's a whole can of worms. I'm going to get like a million messages now about 5G. Thank you. You're welcome. We love having you on the show. It's always no BS. Thank you so much, Dr. Sash. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. Listen up. Okay. And you could win some cash money at 12 and 4. All thanks to Save My Bacon helping you borrow money online and growing your credit score at the same time. We'll ask you a question

about this fact at midday and 4 o'clock. Each time your chance to win $500. Thanks to Save My Bacon. Today's fact of the day is there was an inter-school prank that led to a five mile walk.

Okay. This is what was happening. We go back in time, ladies and gentlemen, to 1896, a very long time ago. Is that how long end of year happening. We go back in time, ladies and gentlemen, to 1896, a very long time ago. Is that how long end of year school pranks go back? Or was this just a...

This wasn't an end of year. This was a visiting sports team prank on the people who were coming to play football. Okay. Against the college. So Auburn College was going to play Georgia Tech. Now, Georgia Tech had to travel. 1896, what's the easiest way for a bunch of people to travel? Horse.

Horse. Cycle. Skiing. Running. Trainer, cross trainer. Train. Train. Got there in the air.

I thought my locomotion. No, that was arms. Like running. No, you looked like you were doing cross country skiing with that motion. That would be this. The cross trainer, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, that's a biathlon where they ski and then they pull out the gun. Cross country skiing With that motion That would be this The cross trainer Yeah Okay

Oh that's a biathlon Where they ski And then they pull out the gun That's such a weird And then they sleep With guys and girls Yeah So fun

So fun No that's a bisexual Biathlete No the other ones That go on the bike Around the track The bike The bike

The velodrome. Right. Okay. Right. And then at the end they sleep with guys and girls. Okay. A lot of this isn't televised at the Olympics. Not that bit.

They don't televise that bit. Oh, no, no, no, no. How do you win gold? Okay. You win the race. Right. And then you win the other race. God, if that's what happens in a biathlon, what happens in a duathlon?

Just two people. One of them's Dua Lipa. Duathlon. So this prank happened in 1896. Georgia Tech on the train, on the way to play Auburn. Auburn. Auburn.

Anyway, when they were expecting their arrival, the Auburn team went out and greased the train tracks with oil. Okay. Yes, you do. So they greased well ahead of the station. Yep. And it was kind of everybody, because this is a big thing, you know how they steal each other's mascots and everything?

Yeah. So they greased the train tracks. The train came in, put on its brakes, started sliding, and didn't stop for five miles. Now, the train was incapable of reversing. I'm not sure why. I'm sure a modern train can go backwards and forwards. Yeah.

Because you know every now and then you'll see a really long train and there'll be one at the front, two at the front, and one at the back pushing. Yeah. But anyway, this train, for whatever reason, couldn't go backwards. Maybe it was because of the carriages it had on. It couldn't push them all backwards. So they had to hop off where the train stopped,

which was five miles down the track. Almost eight and a half k's. And walk back to the stadium. And then, because they had to walk eight kilometres, they were too tired to play the game. They were tired and they got beaten 45-0 in a game of football. Oh, you'd be so pissed. Is it a funny prank?

That's very dangerous. Super dangerous. But I'm imagining no one expected a train to skid for five miles. Yeah, true. Have you thought if you greased a train track, it'd just skid through the station but then stop? Yeah. But no, they must have put a lot of grease on there or whatever they used,

should be used and looked into for some sort of industrial lubricant because it really, it meant they couldn't stop. And then they got beaten 45-0. So today's fact of the day is in 1896, a college prank on an inbound team led to a train skidding for five miles. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, quite a few of the show are hooked on the show Farmer Wants a Wife. I believe, producer Jared, this is your favourite show at the moment.

That's a surprise. I'm locked in. Wow. Executive intern Anya, you and Mountie, you love the show. Oh, big time. It's so good. Where's my heads up before now? Yeah, I don't know about that.

Sorry, I messed that up. But, you know, in retrospect, you've got to catch up. Okay. Right, now, I've never seen an episode of the show, but let me guess, Farmer Wants a Wife, he's a farmer, and he's searching for a wife in a reality-based show. Well, I'll stop you there,

because there's one, two, three, four, five, five farmers. What? Farmers want... No. Farmers want... Five farmers per season? Yeah, so there's a lot of characters. There's like 427 names to remember. Wow. Now the show's on TVNZ On Demand. Is it sponsored by Farmers the department store? Not that I've

seen so far. They have missed a trick don't you reckon? Absolutely. Or Wrightson's? What's that store that sells gumboots and stuff? No, it's a team up between farmers. No, it's actually a specific promo opportunity for the farmer's cutlery department. Farmer's got your knife.

Oh, my God. Right. Farmer's got your knife. One more time. Farmer's got your knife. This is this is why... One more time. Farmer's got your knife. This is why our creative ad agency didn't work out. Ideas like that. Oh, it's thriving.

We just don't invite you to any of the board meetings anymore. Oh, right, okay. Because you're very expensive to cater for. So there was a moment that happened on this show, Farmer Wants a Wife, that we want to talk about. Yes. This is Farmer Sam. Now, sorry, this is Australian, right?

Not New Zealand. No, this is Australian. Okay. So at this point in the show, we've narrowed it down to eight women and they now have to pick four. That's not a spoiler. Also, would you want to live on an Australian farm? Well, I guess they've vested the women, right?

They're into that country. These women applied online for specific guys with their life story. Right. And then the guys have picked their top eight, and now they're being cut down to four. Ouch. And Farmer Sam is making his decision. He's making a call.

He's overstocked for his land. He's making a call. Yeah, when he sees this. So my next choice, I just didn't think much of her when I first saw her, but when I actually got... Shit.

Oh, shit. I wonder a lot of pressure right now. He's nervous. But actually when I got to speak to her, well, you know, she's actually got a beautiful personality. So the next girl I've chosen is... Riley.

Messed up my speech about Riley, you know? And she's the most lovely girl. She's a really amazing person. Dup-dup-dup speech. Yeah, so when I saw the show, I didn't think much of her. She's not much to look at, but she's got great personality. Oh my gosh.

I'm surprised he didn't. That's her saying, yeah. I saw the video. She's very attractive. Yeah, it's so brutal. Because when he's like, I didn't think much of her, they like scan the line of the girls and they're all just like, oh my god, don't pick me now.

Oh my God. Yeah. And Riley didn't even look like she was expecting it and it absolutely broadsided her. But he's not necessarily saying he didn't think she was unattractive. He's just saying like, I didn't maybe take a second look. She's got a lovely personality. I mean, everybody wants a lovely personality,

but you don't lead with the lovely personality. Or saying at first I didn't think you were much. Yeah. You want to know that your partner, potential partner is like mildly attracted to you. Physically she doesn't do it for me. She's bubbly.

I'm surprised you didn't call her bubbly. You'd love that one Megan. I've been described as bubbly so much. I'm not bubbly. Don't call her bubbly. You'd love that one, Megan. I've been described as bubbly so much. I'm not bubbly. Don't call me bubbly. You're like, the bubbles, it's not like carbonated. You're boiling. You'll burn.

You'll burn someone. You're more simmering. You're more simmering. Yeah, simmering. Okay, thanks. She's simmering. Then you're saying that they're hot. Effortlessly hot.

What's that thing where there's a big pool of lava and it's like bloop, bloop. Plopping. A volcano? Plopping, yeah, you're more plopping. Plopping lava. Oh, like the mud pools. Hissing lava, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hissing lava. I don't know. Describe your personality as hissing lava. Okay, this is what we want to do now. We want to know how someone has described you at some stage in the past or recently. How have you been described? And maybe you weren't there when they described you.

Maybe they described you to someone. That's the worst. You're just like, what? Like how people, your indicator is like how people would describe you. You're like, Megan, who? And then how they describe you. How would you describe Vaughn to a stranger, Megan? He's the one on the show with the beard and kids.

That works for me. Yeah, true. I thought you were going to say loud. The loud one. Well, yeah. I mean, there's that. That's also handy in an emergency. I could yell and be heard.

You can be the alarm. Pretty much, I'm such an egomaniac I could turn any negative into a positive he's selfish well you gotta look after number one don't you

yeah not wrong alright so 0800 DARS AT M 9696 give us a call or a text now how did someone describe you

maybe it was bubbling maybe it was bubbly. Maybe it was not much at first, but then I liked her. Not much at first. Not much at first. Ruthless. So we want to know how somebody has described you the worst way. They maybe didn't mean it to be.

Yeah. They were just describing you perhaps without thinking how you might interpret it. I'd say most of these would be innocent. People were probably doing it innocently. There was no malice behind any of these. Somebody texted me saying, I was described as looking nothing like my voice made me sound. Welcome to the club. That's just every radio announcer ever.

And you know what? That's on you for not managing your expectations when you listen to the radio. Yes. And thinking we're all hot. Yes. I mean, some of us are, but not everybody made the cut. I was talking about my weight to a trainer, and she said, you must be very dense.

I was described as dense. No, does that mean like... They weighed more, but they were in a smaller package. So there's a lot of density. Way more than you look, maybe. Shelly, how were you described? My husband, when we started dating, messaged me and said, you're way better looking now.

As opposed to when? When we first, so we met at like 14 and then two years later I get a message after changing my Facebook profile picture saying, you're way better looking now. And I mean, I married him, so it worked. Yeah, right. When I was 14, we all had those years. Give me a break. Wow. Shelly, thanks for your call. 14, we all had those years. Give her a break. Wow.

Shelley, thanks for your call. You're welcome. Bobby, good morning. How did somebody describe you? So I went to see a hypnotherapist to try and lose some weight, try and get her to get me placed with some weight. And I was telling her how people judge you differently when you're bigger. And she told me, oh, how could that be?

You're so jolly. Oh. No, that's exactly what you're, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did that out of interest, did the hypnotherapy work? No, because all I could think of was jolly and Santa. Yeah. And then every time you saw Santa, you had to eat a lolly.

Because Megan can eat mushrooms now after the hypnotherapist came in. And you never used to like mushrooms before. I hated mushrooms. I'd even pick them out of things. And now I eat them on their own. Bobby, thanks for your call. Ashley, how did somebody describe you? Hi.

Yeah, one of my best mates was describing me to a group of his mates and said that I was the big bird. The big bird? Oh no. Okay. And now everyone just calls me big bird. That's my name. Because you're yellow and feathery. No, because I'm big.

Megan was trying to give you a nice out by the way. I'm trying to refrain from violence but I would give him a donk. Ashley missed Saddlecru Day at Sesame Street. I hope you gave him a donk. No, it's all good. I love him to bits.

And yeah, so now I'm just Big Bird and all the kids and stuff call me Auntie Big Bird. Yeah, that's how I roll. That is ruthless. If you've embraced it, that's fine. Yeah, Terry. Hey, Ashley, thanks for your call roll. That is ruthless. If you have embraced it, that's fine. Yeah, Terry. Hey, Ashley, thanks for your call. Some text messages in.

Somebody said, I've been described as coriander. Oh, not for everyone. People either love you or they hate you. Yeah, that's good. Someone described my mum as a short plump with a bowl cut. The old girl was very hurt. Short plump with a bowl cut. I'm imagining from Kath and Kim, Sharon, with the bowl cut. The old girl was very hurt. Short plump with a bowl cut. I'm imagining

from Kath and Kim, Sharon, with the bowl cut. Yes. She changed her hair. I heard the people at the cafe I was at described me as

the Karen looking one at the checkout. Wow. That's bad. My partner asked me when we first started dating what I rated her out of 10. I said seven.

Five years on, I haven't lived that down. That was a trap. You should never have answered that with anything other than a 10. What are you, stupid? A lady I was relieving at my work squeezed my cheeks and told me I was a jolly wee thing. I've been described as the young vet with the nice eyebrows. Oh, that's good. That's nice. I was once described as the girl with the

highly polished shoes. Okay. I don't know if that's... Nice shoes? Does it sound like a negative? That just sounds like... Taking care of my shoes? Yeah, that's... I was... When I was a kid, I was described as the one that's always muddy on multiple occasions. That's good though. You were adventuresome. You were having fun. I was described as the one that's always muddy on multiple occasions. That's good, though.

You were adventuresome. You were having fun. I was described as versatile. What does that mean? Is it a compliment or is there some way that could be negative? Is that relationship-wise? Yeah. We've saved the best text message to last.

My boyfriend at the time told me I look like Lewis Capaldi. And then tried to ply it off by saying I was iconic and talented. No. That's not a compliment. No. Head music lives here. ZM.