ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 28th 2020

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

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Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. Shocking news this morning. Let's go to the producer's booth. Executive intern Anya, what did you witness this morning on the way to work? Four cars queued up for the drive-thru at Macca's at two minutes past five. Would we say that's shocking news? I feel like... I feel high for one and not surprised.

But what time did they open at six? Well, I think they were opening at five, but maybe they just hadn't quite moved the cones yet. But then the big M wasn't glowing yet, so maybe it was six. Oh, the golden arches. People were lining up at five o'clock in the morning. Well, it's been a long four and a smidge week. Oh, don't get me wrong.

Don't get me wrong. When are you planning on going? Well, I'll go for when the quarter pounders are there. So, 10 o'clock this morning? Sure. Sure, absolutely. Although, here's my problem. I don't have a car.

Oh. Yeah, so I have to do the delivery option. Delivery. Delivery, absolutely. Although here's my problem. I don't have a car. Oh. Yeah, so I have to do the delivery option. McDelivery. McDelivery, yeah. Yeah, right. You can't do that thing when you walk through the drive-thru. And then, you know, if someone's going out of their way to deliver it, it would be a shame to just deliver one meal.

Why not order a week's worth of meals and freeze them? There hasn't been a lot of eating in the last four weeks. I don't know if we should be... No. No one cares, eh? No. No one cares. No one cares.

There's no point caring. About that. Yeah, no, don't worry about that. My hair needs to be done. My nails and manky hairs. We all need haircuts. Oh, no, we don't all need haircuts. I'm so sorry.

I beard trimmed myself yesterday. Did you? I think I did a pretty good job. You did. You did, actually, because it was getting a bit wild, wasn't it? It's come to quite a point, though. Yeah, because...

You've got it at quite a point. Well, it's because just behind there is where my chins end, so I had to give it a point to make it look like I've got a jawline and not just the beard, which is doing a great job hiding. Look at the... There's not, like, hair. Oh, it's a bit squishy there, isn the bed, which is doing a great job hiding. Look at the, there's not like hair.

Oh, it's a bit squishy there. Yeah, that's squishy and that's not hair squish. We've all got a bit of squishies, no judge at all. We've all come out of this a bit squishy. We've got a little bit more squishing for the pushing. The top six coming up. Hey baby was born on the fullest fairy. Yeah, because I've noticed those because I look out my window

and see them. They've still been going. Like all the buses. Okay, mate, you've got a waterfront property. I don't have a waterfront property. But you can see the fairies. There's like an inch gap

where I can see the fairy go past. And he's been sitting at the window. And I've been sitting there just like a dog. Just like, looking outside.

Talking to the birds like cats go, when there's a bird outside. Alright, so what? He's been going and a woman gave birth on the ferry. So the top six names I would suggest for a baby born on a ferry.

Well, it was a report from Executive Intern Anya this morning on the way to work that she saw people lining up at the Macca's drive-thru. How many cars have you seen this morning? Four. Four cars. Already.

Have we had a good definitive time on when they're going to open? They're open. Really? There's a story on the Herald that shows four lads, Vincent, Ty, Ione and Mark, and they were third in queue at McDonald's Mangere and they spent $100 on their favourite takeaways and they're just having a munch.

And that was exactly how well I would describe it. They're eating it, they are having a munch. There's a photo of the McDonald's Manukau and the line is out into the Westfield car park, if you're familiar with that. Yeah. The lads at Courier Post, the East Tamaki branch, they came to McDonald's when the shift finished at 4 a.m.

and got in the line. And there's a photo. They were, again, having what I would also describe as a munch. A munch, yeah. All drive-through. Well, this is their dinner, isn't it? Chef workers. Chef workers, yes.

So you'd imagine they would have been lining up. But to be fair, they probably thought they'd get in early before everyone else, but then there was a queue. A baker's delight worker, Vic, said he was just stopping for a coffee as nothing else was open and was absolutely shocked by the queues. So, yeah, reopening. And there is a limited menu, and it's drive-through or delivery at 137 of the 169 restaurants.

So most are open and you'd imagine the ones that aren't are the ones in food courts, right? True. I was like, well, how would they choose which 30 not to be? You're right, the food courts. Somebody messaged in. They text in. And you please do. We're running a McDonald's drive-thru report this morning.

It's like the weather report. We're talking regionally. McDonald's Tauranga, a line of more than 20 at an estimate. And that was only a few minutes ago. And I can read you this piece of information. Somebody sent me this. This came from the Gisborne District Council, official Gisborne District Council Facebook page.

With the move to alert level three on Tuesday morning, if you plan to go to McDonald's, a queue lane has been set up along Palmerston Road into Bright Street. You are kidding me. To keep traffic flowing around the emergency services premises in the vicinity. You can only enter McDonald's drive-through

via a queue lane on Palmerston Road from the Peel Street end. There is no right turn in or out of McDonald's. Are they hoping to avoid some kind of traffic rush in Gisborne Central at 6am? No, it's around emergency services. So they want the road clear so they can come and go. But it's lovely that the council... Okay, we've just had a report here from your hometown, Fletch, McDonald's, New Plymouth.

30 cars at 5am. Cars are right around the Countdown car park. Wow. Well, keep your reports coming in. You can text through 9696. But please, if you are in these queues, you've still got to practice social distancing. Yes.

Very important. Well, you're in the car, right? No, but people report, so people are getting out of the car and enjoying the meal. Oh, together. Yeah, right. Practice social distancing. No, but people report so people are getting out of the car and enjoying the meal communally. Yeah, right. Pregnancy social distancing. We're running a – we didn't have this planned.

We just started getting responses of reporting the lines outside local McDonald's. We've entered level three and Macca's around New Zealand is open. And we want to know what the queues are looking like in your neck of the woods. We did mention that the Gisborne City District Council had released an official traffic management plan for the reopening of McDonald's. We had a good chuckle at that, didn't we?

Palmerston North Macca's have a full traffic management plan in place as well. Do they have a flashy truck with the epilepsy light? The strobe light? Yeah, with that thing that drops down on the back that I really want to nudge to see how much give it's got. Have you seen videos online of cars that crash into those? Smashing them at full speed. Yeah, it still makes a mess of the car.

It's pretty impressive. A little bit. Man, you watch the weird stuff on YouTube. No, because I thought how cool would it be to see a car crash into that, but I don't want to see that in real life. Right. So online they do the tests. Have you watched those plastic barriers that they fill with water?

Yeah. Stop a truck? That's pretty amazing. Stop a truck pretty well. Yeah. So, yeah, we can report a full traffic management in place at Palmerston North. We're going to go to... Nelson, I believe. Vaughan.

How are you going? Good. Are you currently in line? No, I'm actually a sweeper truck driver just outside, Mac. Actually, I'm just driving past. And there's a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 at the drive-thru and another car sitting in the car park waiting to get in. Good counting, Vaughn.

Why are you clapping? Good counting. Great counting. Wow. It's nice to meet another Vaughn that can count. I can't believe there's that many people lined up this early. Just go when you wake up. People have obviously set their alarm to get there early, right?

Yeah. You want to get there early, avoid the rush. This is at 6 o'clock in the morning. What's it going to be like at lunchtime or dinner tonight? Yeah. Oh, you want to get there early, avoid the rush. But this is at six o'clock in the morning. What's it going to be like at lunchtime or dinner tonight? Yeah.

You're not joining the line, Vaughn? No. He's in a truck. I've got work to do. Oh, you're in a truck. You know that barrier that's like two metres? You can't come in here

and be on the door in two metres? It would rip the whole thing down. I'd love to see you try. Kira, good morning. You're in Napier. Good morning. Hello. How are you? Good. Are're in Napier. Good morning. Hello.

How are you? Good. Are you waiting in the line at Macca's? I am currently in the queue. There's three people in front of me and about five behind me. But when I got here this morning, I was, like, on the road. So were you already awake or did you go specially to get something from Macca's? I'm one of the bad people who

went especially. So you set your alarm. You know you could have just slept until like 9 or 10. Yeah, no, I set it for 5.40. What are you jonesing for? What have you missed so much in the last four weeks? Oh my god, you know, the bacon and egg McMuffins

and the hash browns and the McFlurries, but they're not having them back yet, but that's okay. Yeah. I was going to say, a McFlurry before 7 in the morning. No, but if they are, if they were available, would you have got a McFlurry at this time? I'm lactose intolerant, so probably not.

I like that you're lactose intolerant. You might want to do it later in the day. Like, I don't want to ruin my whole day by starting the farts and the shits at like 11, but if I can start it at 7, I'm already done with the day. Yeah, no, it's lunchtime. Brilliant. All right, Kayla. Ruiner afternoon.

Thank you for your report, Kayla. Kane, we're about to you. I've just driven past Macca's Ultra Holder. Okay, and what's the line like there? It might not sound like much, but there's eight cars there, which is actually pretty amazing because that's all the cars Otrohonga have because everyone else is still walking cars around there. Did you say eight?

Yeah. Wow. That's not bad. That is for a smaller town. That's big, isn't it? Kane, thanks for your report there. Whanganui or Whanganui, depending on if you're a fan of the H or not. The District Council also set up a traffic management plan

for McDonald's and KFC reopening. Okay. And somebody else has reported Tarapa Strait and Hamilton. There are small lines at the Maccas already. And someone said, I wasn't planning on going to Maccas, but now that you've talked about it, I might go and jump in that queue. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. We get one of these stories every now and then. I just Googled. This happened on December 1st, 2019 as well. Our baby was born on the Waiheke Ferry. Oh, okay. Two days ago, an exceptional event also happened.

A woman gave birth on the Waiheke Ferry. Sounds like they need to put a labour suite on. A maternity ward. Waiheke Ferry, that's like four months apart, right? It could be next to the bar where they sell those muffins. Yes, with the berries. One of those gin and tonics that I always get on the ferry. The Gordons.

Always get a Gordons G&T. Or they don't have long whites. It's like being at the airport. When you're on a ferry, it doesn't really matter what time of the day, or being in isolation. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is, you can have an alcoholic beverage. Especially a G&T.

That's a breakfast drink, right? Yeah, because it's more savoury. Yeah. It's a little sweet. Yeah. What? I don't know. Times have changed.

It was on Friday evening. Times have changed. And I don't think we can ever go back. Times have changed. To not drinking at breakfast. Yeah. Alcoholism is acceptable now. This is how my beverages go in the morning.

Wake up, coffee. Straight away, another coffee. Yep. Back to back in them. Yep. And then a little bit of water and then I'll be like, I'll have another coffee and then it gets to lunchtime and I'll have a coffee and then it gets to the afternoon and I'm like, the only reason I'm having a coffee

now is because if I don't, I'm going to have a drink. Like an alcoholic drink. And then I hold it off to all about, like, my earliest was Huppas 2. Yep. Oh, really? During lockdown, yeah. That's good. Pretty good for me. Yeah. But man, I hit it hard. earliest was Huppas 2. Yeah. Oh, really? During lockdown, yeah. That's good. Pretty good for me. But man, I hit it hard.

I was pissed by six. But you know, whatever. No judge here. At least you've got the family. Absolutely no judge. Because there were several times I did Zoom drinks with friends and it's all loud and it's all, you know, it's all fun and you're drinking and then you shut the laptop lid

and it's just you sitting at home. Really pissed. When you shut the laptop, there's a mirror behind the computer and you just look at yourself and you're like, what is this? And then you're like, oh, great, now I'm really drunk at home. Whereas, as you say, I've got a family, so they're like, Dad, when's dinner?

I'm like, get yourself something to drink Dad when's dinner I'm like Get yourself out of the tub What's better I don't know Hey look Unprecedented times Yeah we don't judge In these times Okay Megan

We don't We don't judge So this lady She had a baby On the ferry Friday evening And apparently The crew helped

Something a bit different For them to deal with Yeah So I've decided If you're going to have your baby on a ferry, a ferry-based name is what you need. Okay. So the top six names for the Fuller's Ferry Baby. Number six, Rough Seas.

Okay. Rough Seas. Yeah, I was thinking Wake, but I guess. You could go Russell. You could go Russell. Russ for short, Rough Seas. Okay, yeah. It sounds a bit like a name, but it's not.

Number five on the list of the top six names for the Waiheke fairy baby, Bumpy Docking. That's where they come in a little bit hot. Maybe a wave just pushes you a little bit into the... Oh, I didn't think about this for the top six names, but one of the bonus edition, one of the names could be, oh, Devonport. Because, you know, you get on the ferry and you think you've got to direct to Waiheke and then they're like, bing bong, ladies and gentlemen, we're just going to make a sketch of stuff at Devonport. And you're like, oh, Devonport.

God, it always takes so long. Number four on the list of the top six names for the Fuller's Fairy Baby are Warm Chardonnay. That's where you've... Yeah. Chardonnay's a nice name. Yeah. Prefix it with a warm. You've got a real...

It'll immediately take you back to the fairy. Number three on the list of the top six names for the Fuller's Fairy Baby are Overpriced Sandwich. Yep. That's never... No. No. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six names for the Fuller's Fairy No Number two on the list

Of the top six names For the Fuller's Fairy Baby Are We on the Toilet Floor Not a Yeah Sometimes it's not your fault Is it? Yeah

Oh no I wouldn't Say it was yours I was saying you've gone in And it's already there Oh yeah right Okay Never admit fault Never admit fault Were Never admit fault.

You're standing up and you had a wave and it goes on the seat. And then when you come out and someone's already there ready to go in, and you're like, that was like that when I got in there. That's not believable, is it? No, it never is. That wee on the floor, I'm not touching it. It's not mine. I hydrate.

That's very yellow. Very yellow. And number one on the list of the top six names for the fullest fairy baby, drunk and crying female who had to leave a hen's party early. And a few too many in the sun, didn't she? Yeah. And had the GNT on the way over. And now on the way home to say she's not too drunk for a GNT on the way home.

She is far too drunk. That is today's top six. Everyone's been getting busy in the kitchen over lockdown, obviously. We couldn't go to takeaways and restaurants because they're all closed, so we had to get, you know, creative. Yeah. Google Trends has kept track of the most searched recipes.

Not all of them are food. You'll understand when I read these to you. Okay. But I've got the top 10 globally searched recipes during lockdown. I just realised I never made that mac and cheese. You never did. Well, I was about to and I felt bad at the supermarket.

I was like, this is too much cheese. I do not need all this cheese. I've had so much cheese. It is not a phrase that's even crossed my mind during the last few weeks. this is too much cheese. I do not need all this cheese. I've had so much cheese. It is not a phrase that's even crossed my mind during the last few weeks. This is too much cheese. I looked at that nice fridge at the supermarket full of all the

bougie cheese, and I looked at it and I was like, that's about right. I didn't even think of that. I bet it was too much. Well, mac and cheese isn't on the list, actually. That would be a good one to make. Pretty easy. Is banana cake or banana loaf?

Do you actually want to like... Am I ruining the list? Yeah, you are. No, but I just... Everywhere you looked, people were making banana loaf or banana cake. Is it because people bought bananas and... Lots of bananas. Then they go brown.

But why did it trend? Because of the bananas going off. Yeah, and it's just easy, right? Smush up the bananas, yeah. We made three ingredient Nutella cookies yesterday. Quite a bit of Nutella is one of the ingredients. Hang on, you say three ingredient Nutella cookies. Nutella is basically sugar and chocolate.

So that's two ingredients. No, no, well, it comes in one jar. Nutella, egg, and... Flour. Flour. Yeah, good. Nice. That was pretty good.

Yeah. 90% sugar. Of course it's going to be great. It's number 10 in the globally most searched recipes during lockdown. Fried rice. It's simple, right? It's something people really enjoy getting from a takeout, but takeouts are

shut and people are like, well, how can I do this? So they would put some oil in a pan and add rice? I know, I didn't know that that was something that people had to Google. No, but you want to know what goes in, what ratio, how to get the little carrots and peas that small. Yeah.

It's full of mixed vegetables. Get a bit of frozen mixed veggie right in there. Oh, they just use frozen. Right. I was just chopping my carrots really into tiny cubes. It took so long. You wanted it to feel authentic. Yeah.

Number nine is ground beef. So, mints. People wanted to know what to make with their mints. Oh, okay. Right. Oh, right. Not how to cook mints. No. Number nine is ground beef. So mince. People wanted to know what to make with their mince. Oh, okay, right. Oh, right. Not how to cook mince. No, no, no, no. So yeah, like a couple of these they've got the base ingredient and they want to know what to do with it. Okay, yeah. So

number eight was carrot cake. Oh yeah, you made a carrot cake, didn't you? Gluten free carrot. Oh yeah. What was it? Walnut and something else. Carrot. Something else. Okay. Banana. Carrot and walnut cake. That, yeah. What was it? Walnut and something else. Carrot. Something else. Okay. Banana, carrot and walnut cake.

That was good. That was a good cake. Seven was chicken breasts. So people, again, I got the chicken breast. I don't know what to do with it. That's the worst part of the chicken. The older I get, the more it's too dry. But you've spoken too much about this now, and then the thighs are really expensive.

The thighs have gone up in price. I've influenced the price of chicken thighs. Yes, you're a chicken thigh influencer. That's my power. I'm getting people to eat certain parts of the animal. But they're all right in a stir fry, but you're right, they're very dry. Too dry. They dry out.

You shouldn't overcook it then. But then stuff them full of, yeah, what could possibly go wrong if you undercooked a chicken? Stuff them full of like cream cheese and pesto and then they won't dry out. And wrap it in bacon. Yeah. We'll see if you can dry out now that you're 98% fat. Number six. How do you actually say it?

I realise I haven't actually said this yet. Dalgona coffee? Dalgona. Say whipped coffee. Oh, yeah. But then everyone I know that tried it said it tasted like poop. How can it? It's just sugar and coffee.

Yeah, well, I don't know what they did wrong. Stick to your instinct. You can't go wrong. Number five, chocolate cake. Okay. Number four, French toast. Hmm. Do you need to Google that?

Stale bread. Put it in the egg and put it in the pan. Egg and milk, right? Same ratio. Maybe it's different like toppings,as for toppings for French toast. Number three, this is the top ten recipes searched globally through lockdown. It's not a food. Hand sanitizer.

So people were looking for a recipe to make their own hand sanitizer. But you have to be careful because it has to be a certain percent of alcohol, right? For it to be effective. Yeah, for it to kill things. Number two was pizza dough. Oh, yeah. Instead of being, well, you can just go to the supermarket, right? And buy to be effective. Yeah, for it to kill things. Number two was pizza dough. Oh, yeah. Instead of being, well, you can just go

to the supermarket, right? And buy your own pizza. You can, but, yeah. And number one was banana bread. Not only in New Zealand, but worldwide. Number one search recipe

during lockdown. Yum. Are you not sick? I have not made one banana bread. I haven't made banana bread. I've made a couple of banana cakes, so... What have you done with them?

See the one where people got to the point where they were just sticking, like, whole bananas in there? No. No, you could slice bananas on top and then they go like... Yeah, you could plump them in. Oh, no, yeah. Do they caramelise a bit? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Alright, quarter to seven. A man lost his job. A man was not happy about a bit. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Good stuff. All right, quarter to seven. A man lost his job. A man was not happy about losing job. Okay. A man tried to sue place who fired him. Yep. Judge said, no, no, they were right. I'll tell you what his job was next.

All right, ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Now, a stop-go worker, and I'm talking about traffic, busy traffic, very important job. Yes. Because it's frustrating sitting there, and you've got to wait for them to hear from somebody else to say, yep, last car's the red. I've always assumed, I might be wrong, but I've always assumed it's like,

last car's the red Honda. Don't they say the last couple of digits of your number plate? Yeah, yeah, maybe. Well, if they were onto it, yeah. Two, two, three. Yeah, yeah. And then when it goes through, they go, yeah, he's through. Yeah.

Turn your sign. Because a lot of the time, if it's a long stretch, they might not see the other stop-go or the other where the cars stop and start. Exactly. Exactly. Well, a stop-go worker was let go from his job at Chevron Traffic Services in October 2019. Okay. No, before that, sorry.

This is when he took them to the employment court because he was seriously endangering the public on multiple occasions. He felt that he had been wrongly dismissed. Okay. And he said that the employer was in breach of the duty of good faith when they let them go. Right. I want $80,000 for humiliation, loss of dignity, injury to feelings. Injury to feelings. Injury to feelings.

My feelings are hurt is one thing, but injury to feelings makes it like your feelings have sprained their ankle or something. Like, my feelings are so embarrassed. They tried running away and they rolled their ankle. And loss of earnings and stuff. If there's one thing that old mates that run a business that get taken to employment court really understand, it's loss of feelings. Enjoy the feelings.

Can you imagine telling any, like, boomer-aged man that you've had an injury to your feelings? I won't be in today. Oh, really? You're right, mate. My feelings are a little bit injured. Yeah, you bloody whore. So the judge immediately threw it out and said that your immediate termination was warranted because of various things, including just letting people go without checking with the people.

This was a three-way traffic system. Okay. This was, if you've driven north of Auckland around Walkworth, there's a lot of traffic situations there. Okay. This was on Woodcocks Road. There was a T intersection, so there was three-way traffic control system. Oh, wow.

So not your normal one road where it's stop and let them use one lane. This was a three-way situation. We all know how confusing three-ways are. Like what if one person feels left out? Oh, yeah, and they just sit standing there the whole time watching. Yeah, obviously, Daisy. One person's getting paid too much attention. And then afterwards, at the end of the day,

the traffic management people are like, you were letting people through way too long. You took your turn. You were too long taking your turn. So he was just letting them in. He was turning his sign to go when it was not his turn to go. Oh my god.

And if that's happening more than... It's a pivotal part of your role. You had one job. Yeah. There was another time where the person supervising the whole thing saw him turn traffic into the direct oncoming flow of other traffic on three separate occasions. He was a very dangerous man to have on site apparently. So yeah, he was like...

He just got bored and was just like fiddling with the site. Spinning the sign? Good Lord. Or he'd be on that three way situation And be like Yeah Stop one Closing Stop two Your turn And he'd be like

What stop am I I think it was two I'd just Flick around And see what happens Imagine how injured His feelings must be now So injured

Well injured To do his injured feelings And they've just been Further injured ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. I heard this on the news last night and it blew my mind. I thought there must be an error.

There must have been an error. 100 rental cars were stolen from a Mangere rental car yard from one rental car spot. Juicy rentals. The absolute audacity. How? I saw the news story as well.

Last I checked, a person can only drive one car at a time. Yeah. That means 100 people were involved in this heist. But also they, you can see there's like a hole cut in the fence, so maybe that's where they got in. But like, how did they get the, it wasn't as if the fence had been mowed down. How did they get out? Wasn't the fence locked?

Megan there's a thousand questions that need to be answered. How many drivers? Did they have a hundred people driving? Or did they have some sort of shuttle service? Or did they come back twice? Where do you put 100 cars? Well they've found some of them. Have they? 20 vehicles have been located by police in Otara, Mangare and Papatoetoe so far.

But the others are still completely unaccounted for. You steal 100 cars from a massive lot. You are going to then need either a massive lot or you're going to need 100 hiding places. I know. Like, that's ridiculous. This isn't Grand Theft Auto, baby. You just can't keep driving a car into the same garage and the computer just puts it somewhere for you.

These are physical cars. What the hell's happening? And that was done over one night or was it done over? Well, not exactly sure because it's been closed because we went into level four lockdown. Obviously, no tourists and no unnecessary driving.

Rental car companies just put all the cars in the yard and locked the yard. I saw, yeah, I've seen images in Queenstown. They've parked up like heaps of rental cars. Yeah, well, you think about all the rental cars that are on the road at any given time and they're all just got to be parked up somewhere. I reckon you'd be able to get a cheap rental car after this. It's been driven in first gear for 100k.

To DR now. That's what you want for your family car, to invest in a car that's been absolutely hammered. But they said there might even be more than 100 missing because they haven't done a full stock take of all the yards and all the spots.

It was upsetting because a lot of those cars were today going to be used by essential workers to carry out like food delivery. Yeah. Yeah. And you might be thinking they'll be easy to spot because aren't juicy rentals all bright green, but they were the white ones. The white ones with just the little juicy sticker on the back. Oh, right.

Okay. Holden Captivas, Mazda 3, Suzuki Swifts, all plain without branding, probably not recognisable as a rental. That sucks. And also, tourism's down, so they're already kicked where they're hurt. Is that what you say?

You've kicked them where they're hurt. You've kicked them all in there down. Yeah, okay, cool. But the thing is, I doubt that these people who stole them also filled out the form and ticked the $5 a day full insurance covers. I doubt it, cool. But the thing is, I doubt that these people who stole them also filled out the form and took the $5 a day full insurance coverage. I doubt it.

Oh, yeah. We're going to be joining the phone soon by Chris Parker, a New Zealand comedian. Comedians in Isolation is a segment we've been running just to give the comedians a little bit of... Give them an outlet. Give them some attention, an outlet. I mean, they've got social media.

You may have noticed. They're all clambering for attention on social media. Slash entertaining us. I know, yeah, keeping us all going. Great job. I'm telling you what, Chris Parker, I want to talk a lot about his new hobby. What's his new hobby?

I think he's fantastic at it too. Okay. Well, you've got me hooked, haven't you? I have to wait. Like actually hooked. Yeah. Wow. See how you've done that.

I'm going to keep listening. Even if I don't like this next song I play, I'm going to keep listening. We should do this more often. Say what we're doing, but be somewhat vague and evasive about it. That is very cheeky. And people will be like, well, I can't go anywhere. Yeah, right, and then they have to stay listening. Correct.

That is absolutely cheeky. Because their curiosity will be too strong to resist. Especially if they're a cat. Did you think we'd lose this after two weeks, Megan? The sarcasm. The sarcasm. Yeah. Not at all.

Okay. Also coming up on the show, I thought, because it's very, we've gone to level three today now. Megan's told me I'm not allowed to drive across the region to go paraponting. No. So I'm a little confused about the levels. Paraponting.

You have been sitting on that paraponting gear for, you got it the day before we went on to level four. I'd imagine the urge has been strong to go paraponting. And I thought level three was okay for me to go paraponting, but Megan's told me no. So we've got a little bit of a Q&A before eight o'clock of what you can and can't do now on level three. What?

Who would drive your boat in paraponting? These are all the questions. Whose boat? These are all the questions. You boat? These are all the questions. Did you buy a boat as well? We can answer. Paraponting gear. Sure.

Bit of an unusual purchase. Paraponting equipment without a boat. It is warm, but you know. No, I like the cut of your jib though. You'll always find something on the boat. New year, new me. Next is a surge in Tinder. One of our owners noticed the floodgates have opened or something.

A bride. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. So we have just come out of four weeks of lockdown. Well, we're in level three, semi-lockdown. Not much has changed. Not much has changed.

It's level four, but with takeaways. Three months, right? Yeah. A lot of people are going back to work in some capacity. Yes. What is it? Was it 400,000 Kiwis? And just before

in the news it said you can add two people to your bubble and no more than two bubbles can join. Yeah. To be a bigger bubble. Yeah, right.

Okay. But there's been something going on during lockdown that's had a mega surge and we cross now to producer Jarrod. Good morning.

To give us an update on your Tinder. Yeah, Tinder was blowing up over the past few weeks. I've heard this from people that because people have been stuck at home and craving attention, craving contact. Yeah, it's been going nuts. Yeah, I got about 350 matches over the past four weeks. Well, there's no need to Skype, is there? What percentage increase is that?

Are you just drift netting, though? You've got, like, your age. You'll go for guys, girls. You go for, like, 18 to 150. 18 to 50. It's 60. You're just like... Towing a drift net through the ocean,

catching whatever you can. There's a couple of Maui dolphins in there. Yeah, you've got a ridgeback whale. Ridgeback whale? towing a drift net through the ocean, catching whatever you can. There's a couple of Maui dolphins in there. Yeah, you've got a ridgeback whale. Ridgeback whale? No, that's a Rhodesian ridgeback. You've got a humpback whale, you've got a Rhodesian ridgeback dog in there somehow.

You don't know how, but you'll take it. So I went from getting maybe like 40 matches a month to 350 in a month, which is massive. I'm feeling good about myself. I'm not very good at maths, but I'd say that's a 1,000% increase. So what is everyone, what's the banter like? What's happening? There's a lot of, oh, how are you spending lockdown? Just that's pretty much all you get.

And then I've matched with, I think a third of them are people doing the passport thing. So there's a lot of Americans, like Europeans, all asking me how New Zealand's doing. Well, that's annoying because you want to get out of lockdown. They want to move here. Yeah, I've been talking to one girl who's considering moving here next year. So she's just been asking me all the time. Now, Jared, has she asked for your bank account details? No.

Please be very careful here, please. Well, her fast food's still going at the moment. Yeah, well, talking to friends in Australia, they've had fast food the whole time. Right. So I asked her to send me, like, casual McDonald's pictures. Yeah. Because of the slang difference, I said Macca's.

I received something very different. Really? Yeah. Send us a picture of your sloppy Macca's. Oh, no. She's like, it's a little bit forward, but heck, I need residence. I'll just, I'll give you a couple of minutes. What guess if I turn that on the side, it looks like a Big Mac?

Oh. I don't know. You would hope not. You would hope not. Why are there sesame seeds on it? There's sesame seeds on both sides. I don't know what's happening here. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening.

It's been an eventful fall. Now, okay, here's a question, and I know we're going to do a Q&A, a level three lockdown Q&A before 8 o'clock, but are we allowed to hook up with Tinder people now? No. No. So is that level two?

That's still a hard no. That's still a hard no. That's still a hard no. Because you can extend your bubble by one person. Yeah. So at least you're... What if you're never going to see them again?

Yeah, but you're planning on extending your bubble by one person then the next day one person then the next day... No, absolutely not. Yeah, no.

Well, that's not the way to do it. No. We don't want to be in lockdown. It's not one person at a time. Right. It's just one person. Okay, so that's a hard no there. Yeah.

Okay. So do you have any leads after this, Jared? I might have one or two. Oh, okay. Well, that's good. So out of 350, you got one or two? I don't have much game, guys. A friend of mine, she did a couple of Zoom FaceTime dates.

Oh, yeah. She matched on Tinder. Have you done that? I've had like FaceTimes, but I wouldn't call them FaceTime dates. Just casual face-to-face combos. What do you talk about in a FaceTime with a stranger? I just knock a spoon onto a bell?

It's very much just kind of like, oh, so that's what your room looks like. Oh, cool. That's your dog. Yeah, it's very benign. Oh, my Wi-Fi is breaking up. Pretty much, yeah, that's happened a few times. Okay, well, stay tuned.

Well, good times. All right, well, thanks for that Tinder update. Yeah, good luck. Vaughn? We're going to talk to Chris Parker on the show next, comedian Chris Parker for Comedians in Isolation, and talk about his new hobby. It's got me hooked.

No, seriously, it has. Actually, that's kind of a pun on the hobby. Okay. Maybe. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Comedians in Isolation. We're joined on the phone by Chris Parker, lover, brother, podcaster, comedian, and a close

second choice to play David Bain in the upcoming show Black Hands. Good morning. Good morning. Now that's not, that's not, Megan's looking at me like I've thrown shade on our guest. This is a true story. Really? Yeah. It was true. I did audition

for the role and I did get very, very close. Yeah. I'd say Rob, though. Rob. I would say I'm Rob, too. Yeah. I mean, I look like the guy, and I figured if there was any chance I was to play him, it would be there.

But now I'm thinking I'll just take it into my own hands and make my own competitive documentary. And make it completely unbiased. And just completely fill my own opinion on the game. You should find out which way this black hands is leaning. And if it's like the podcast with the same name, it's leaning towards his skilt. I reckon lean towards his innocence. Yeah, right.

Get Joe Caram on board. Well, if you do get that role, I did stretches next to him and lunges at the gym once, so I could give you some tips. On his lunging? On his demeanour and his year. Yeah, right. I think we also have enough news footage

to kind of judge what his demeanour was, to be fair. But, you know, that's fair enough. Now, Chris, you've spent this time that you would usually be crafting your comedy skills. You've taken up a new hobby, felting? Yeah, felting. That's the one. What is felting?

Well, great question. So what happened was like just like a few days before the other level four lockdown, everyone was like freaking out and buying like toilet paper and stuff. And I was like, I'm going to head up the craft shop because I reckon I'm going to have a bit of time on my hands. And then I found these, like, puppets that are essentially, like, little puppets of wool and they come with a needle. And you don't feel like you should be locked in with a sharp object,

but anyway, then you stab the wool with the needle, like, many times, like, a million times. And then it, like, forms into, like, a shape because it, like, begins to melt. Look, it's impossible to describe. But then basically you end up with these little objects and so I've made like honestly 10 of them I had a friend once who used to do this I'm doing fine guys I'm doing fine it just baffled me what like what do you do with these little things you give them as gifts or well great question what I think I might might do is turn them into one large hat.

Yes. I think I could take them all into one hat and then it could be like my end of COVID-19 hat, you know, and then, I don't know, throw a parade or put it in the bin. I mean, there's many options. I'm trying to find a photo to show them your fountain. I was so impressed that someone, you said you'd never done it. You were actually doing a real knock-up job.

You made one of Ashley Bloomfield, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. Yeah, because I've run out of the packs that give you instructions because there's these little Japanese kits that give you instructions to make a cat holding a strawberry or a dog holding a purse. They're all truly insane. And then now I'm out of the packs, I've started to go pre-formed. So I've made Ashley Bloomfield, I've made Jacinda Ardern, I've made the Zoom logo, I've made a bag of flour,

and I'm currently working on my Dr. Suzy Wilde, but I don't have the white colour. Pink for the hair. Yes, you need that pink. And I'm like, you should dye it with beetroot. I'm like, listen, I'm not dyeing wool. Like, it's gone bad enough. I'm not dyeing wool

now. And then some people are like, I could shave some of my hair off for you and send it in the mail and then you could felt that. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I've gone insane, but I'm not felting human hair. But it's quite a big trend online. A lot of people will shave their dead pets' fur

and then melt felt them into homages to them, which is horrific. But I'm open to commissions. Wow. I just Googled some felting. It's pretty insane. It's not what I imagined open to commissions. Wow. I just Googled some felting. It's pretty insane. It's not what I imagined in my head. No.

Well, some people can be good at it and some people can be really bad at it. And I would say I'm one of those people. But there are some great people out there as well who do some tremendous work for the felting community. As a community. Please don't take me too seriously. And I think it is some sort of

craft and community that I've sort of tapped into because people are really into it in a way that it's a little disappointing considering I've spent my life trying to make comedy for a living and as soon as they pick up a needle into the wall everyone's knocking on my door.

You pull your heart and your soul into something, dying for people to pay attention and want to talk to you about it. I know. They're like, screw you comedy shows. We were going to pay the fee. Just watch you stab some wool for free, mate. We love it. That's ironic.

That's good. Speaking of that, there's a whole lot of comedians that, you know, there's no comedy fest and stuff. So how is your feeling of the comedy community? Are they handling it okay? I think, I mean, at the end of the day, we're all like just real big show-offs. And I think we desperately need that attention. And so a lot of us are making like sketches online

or creating some like fun free content for people to watch and view. I know that Guy Montgomery hosted a spelling bee last night with Rose Muchafil and Madeleine Stone from Sainsbury. It turned out that was quite fun. You know, we're finding avenues to sort of show off and get that little hit of endorphins. So I think I'm kind of excited for what the comedy festival will look like next year, I reckon,

because I reckon it'll be quite sort of pent up and we'll come in full throttle. I'll be wearing my felt hat, you know, it's going to be insane. Well, I was going to say, how can felting come into your comedy show? You know, Megan, I really hope it doesn't.

I'm sorry, Chris. Like it or not, you're now known as the Felton guy forever and ever. Who's close to the word seltzing, I think. Yes. You've got to get that David Bain documentary off the ground.

Oh, Chris, he's that seltzing comic, you know. Not a good name. Not a great name. Not a great name. Not a great name. Chris Parker, thank you for joining us this morning. This morning. Hey, thanks for waking me up. I'm honestly too early for this. I've got to go.

Fall down your hands now. So much time for felting. Do some of that felting that you love. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We are now officially in level three of lockdown and fast food is available today. And as we mentioned, when we started the show at 6 a.m., there were reports from our producers and various people

of people lining up for McDonald's drive-thrus before they opened. Like 10, 15, 20 cars. Yeah, like people at 4 o'clock. There are traffic management plans in place by various councils so that traffic can line up around the block to get in. That's how crazy it is. We talked about it an hour ago

so I'd imagine it would only be more now. Yeah. Now all the fast food chains that are opening have released details on what is on offer. Okay. Now, should we start with Macca's?

Because you can't get everything that you normally get. It's a limited menu. It's a limited menu, but it is, because somebody's just messaged in, can I get hotcakes? Yes, hotcakes are on the list. Right, that's good to know. It's basically all your main, it's your main things.

You can't get like soft serves and McFlurries and that kind of thing. Okay. But most of that, you just say that's your usual. I'm trying to figure out. Maybe no special burgers. What's McFlurries and shakes? Apart from soft serve and stuff, what's missing? Oh, and shakes, yeah.

Because it's all on that machine. Yeah, right. The machine's never working. The machine's... You know the nugs on there? The McChicken's on there. Kiwi burgers on there. Nugs are on there.

I thought McNuggets. Where did you guys get a printout? You've got it in front of you. I've got one too. I was like, where did you get some special bloody printout of what's on the hamburger cheeseburger? Jo, there's a song in this. Do you think so? Double cheeseburger. Triple cheeseburger if that's a song in this do you think so double cheeseburger

triple cheeseburger if that wasn't enough for you okay yeah so that looks like excuse me what don't judge judgment out the window so basically

your normal stuff except shakes sundaes McFlurries frozen coke and the gourmet creations such as the Angus burger those are missing

gourmet sorry the gourmet the Angus gourmet burger, such as the Angus Gourmet Burger. Those are missing. Also, Subway and Domino's customers can pre-order their favourites online from today. Subway is offering a contactless pickup service and Domino's is offering a contactless delivery. I don't trust that they're going to put, because you know how you're like, more, more, more. You need to be there. I'm like, ah, ah, ah, back right off the

lettuce there. I feel too bad saying more of something. I don't. I don't. That one. Because they love to shove in the lots of lettuce. They pack it full of lettuce and carrots. It's a filler. It's a filler. Yeah, but aren't they told to only put like four slices per six inch? And here's the other thing,

when you get a six inch, sometimes you're getting a 5.4. Yeah, someone got a bigger half. Somebody else got the bigger half. They should have to get the ruler out for that. They will dick you out of the bigger half of that bread unless you're there to call them out on it. And there's another thing I'll do. I'll call them out on it. I'll be like, no, can you just cut me another one?

That one's definitely under six inches. And then you get the bigger half of the first cut. You've always got to be there. You're right. You've got to be there. But there are people that love their Subway, so I guess you've just got to risk it and not be there. KFC is also reopening its drive-thrus and delivery service.

I was so not to take any unnecessary risks in Level 3 and 4. You say that's an unnecessary risk. I'm saying that's wildly unnecessary. KFC also reopening its drive-thrus and delivery service under 3. That will be a limited menu. Now, that will be chicken pieces, fries, wicked wings, drinks, coleslaw, and potato and gravy. So no burgers.

And no three-ban salad. No, it doesn't. I say this is the time. KFC needs to balls up and not bring back the three-ban salad and let's pretend it never existed. Or the bean salad. And then they've dropped a bean or they've added a bean. But obviously people were buying it, just not you.

I'm not going to KFC to buy beans. Bean salad. People bought Nazi memorabilia once, Megan. No, I don't think that should be the sale. Do you? That's a big jump, Vaughan. It's a big jump. Is it? Both KFC and Pizza Hut are operating in a phased approach.

Burger King will be reopening today as well, according to its website. There are no further details that I can find on their website about level three, but I believe it's operating and delivering under drive-thru and Uber Eats. Carl's Jr. opening, looks like that's going to be open today as well.

I just Googled Burger Fuel. Oh, yeah, they are too, yes. No one go. I don't know why I did that. I literally have a bell right here. But I made a bell out of my drink bottle and a spoon. Actually, maybe a bacon backfire. So a quarter pounder at Macca's for lunch and a bacon backfire for dinner.

That seems absolutely appropriate. You've got four weeks of it to make up for, Sarah. I don't need any more after four weeks of eating, but that's okay. We're still not judging, eh? When do we start judging people's weight? Level one. Oh, right, okay. When the level system is done.

Is done. Okay, when we're back to normal. That's when we put judgment back on. Fleshforn and Megan, we're back to normal. That's when we put judgment back on. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Hilary Bowery, cool auntie, not auntie,

cool older sister, cooler, cool half sister from dad's first marriage. Okay, right. That he doesn't really like to talk about in front of mum. Yeah, right, okay. She's not like being

cool, cool auntie. She's a bit funny about it. I don't think, she definitely doesn't really like to talk about in front of mum. Yeah, right, okay. Does she not like being called cool auntie? She's a bit funny about it. I don't think, she definitely doesn't like mother of the nation. No, no, no, no, no. Aunties can be younger, can't they? Yeah. Cool young auntie. I just think cool half-sister from dad's first marriage

that might buy you booze. Yes, definitely buy you booze. Hilary Barry. She's ex-nayed Uber Eats, as have many New Zealanders, because of the reluctance of Uber Eats to cut back on what they charge for the restaurants to be part of the Uber Eats outlet. So I might be wrong on this, but they take 30%? 30 to 35%.

So last week they said all these restaurants are struggling. The hospo industry is on its knees last week they said, all these restaurants are struggling. The hospo industry is on its knees. And they said, no, we're not going to change that. Yeah. Which is pretty shit. Pretty shitty. But it's the same with the Uber as well. The drivers get less of a cut.

The Uber take more than the other apps. Like I've started, if I can, I started like a long time ago using other apps first. And then if I couldn't find a car. Zoomy's a New Zealand one, right? Yeah, Ola as well. They give the drivers more. Yeah.

But of course, Uber's the big one. It's the one everybody uses. So it's quite a big stand, but I think a lot of people are going to do this because restaurants have been talking for a long time about how they don't make money with Uber Eats. No. Like even in the pre-COVID, the good times.

The good old days. The good old days. Yeah. Restaurants were struggling because there's no margin in it. They don't make any money. They're doing it to keep their customers, their loyal customers happy. Yeah, because Uber Eats was unchallenged. It was the way to get your food out to lots of people.

So the Prime Minister has spoken on this as well, and lots of people have. We need to support local businesses. Eatlocal.co.nz is the one I've seen a lot of people sharing. I just had to have a quick Google because it hasn't yet sunk in. The brand recognition hasn't yet sunk in. Right, okay. Eat local, though't yet sunk in. Right, okay. Eat Local though, easy to remember.

Yep, Eat Local. Because you're eating local, especially while in your bubble, you've still got to be eating local. And now I've got some 600 plus venues registered with them, which means you can contact those places directly. Right. They have a web app. So can you get delivery through the Eat Local or is it just a direct order?

Delivery, we leave it at your door, pick up your meal from a safe pickup zone. Wow, okay, that's cool. So you can, yeah, yeah, delivery and pickup totally works. Yeah. And charging far less, far, far less. Yeah, now as a small business owner, Megan, and a cafe owner, are you opening today? No, we're not opening um it's too hard for us to provide a safe environment for um like we don't have the facilities to do a click and collect we could do

a delivery service but we're so small in order to get all the stock in and pay for all the stock we can't guarantee that we would make our money back. So we're not going to open until level two. But what you can do is if you know a local place that you like to go, follow them on Instagram because everyone's doing different delivery. Some people are setting up their own delivery service. So if you follow them on Instagram or on their socials, they'll tell you how to get a lot of the deliveries done. Why don't you just make coffee and then just open, you could get a little cat flap.

No, because she's talking about getting the money for it. Oh, right, okay, yeah, right. Yeah, because, yeah, you're not, I don't believe, I don't believe that you're supposed to be doing pay wave. It's supposed to be paid contactless pay.

So it happens online, bank transfer through an app or something like that and then people can collect it contactless pay. So it happens online, bank transfer through an app or something like that, and then people can collect it contactless. But if there's a pay wave thing at the FPOS machine at the collection, that would work, surely. That's a way around it. Have pay wave waived their fees? Yeah.

Okay. So pay wave, the fees have been brought down. And then you can pay up to, isn't it $200 now? A lot of banks have increased the limit that you need to put a pin in. So you don't have to touch the manky keyboard that some dairy owners put glad wrap on. The hard thing is too, like you make a coffee though and you've got to time it right. Because the coffee can't sit there for ages. So you're going to make, someone's paying for a coffee and then you're going to sit it there and wait.

And I don't know. I would make a deal with them that after, if they're not there in five minutes, I pop some ice cubes in it and it's become an ice coffee. An ice plate white. Yeah, yeah. That's what happens after a certain amount of time. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Level three, welcome to level three. Welcome, Kjolder. 11.59 last night, tickicked over to level three. Hey, we could go back to level four if you silly buggers play silly buggers. Please don't play silly buggers. We could go back to level four. You got a message from a hairdresser before saying that people are offering them double to cut their hair. Yeah, just on the

slide. Just no. I've seen some very casual attitudes towards bubbles and I've called people out on it. I'll report them. How many times have you not? I'll straight'll report them. How many times have you not? I'll straight report your ass. How many times have you not? So I haven't been out enough to notice bubble breaches.

Right. I've noticed a couple online and I've called people out. I called someone out for coughing and not covering there. I was like, excuse me? We're in the middle of a pandemic. Yeah, you don't just cough into the air. It's a good habit to develop now for when we get out the other side of this and you're not, yuck.

Yeah. So there's been some question and answers about what level three means. Because it has been tagged level four with takeaways, hasn't it? Yes. It has been dubbed that, but it's a little bit more.

But it's a little bit more. It's a little bit more. It's a little bit more. It's a little bit more. It's a little bit more. It's a little bit more. It's a little bit more. Yeah.

I thought it was a nice way of describing it because it gave it its seriousness still. Yeah. Because I think people just thought level three is fun and games, it's time for fun and games, and it's not. We're still very much in this thing, but there are some more services open. So it is pretty much carry on with your level four antics,

but with takeaways. And a few more people working, 400,000 New Zealanders. Work from home if you can work from home has been the advice. Yeah. When does school go back and who goes back? So they open tomorrow schools and only if kids need to go to schools. Right. If one parent's working from home and a kid can stay home

or if your kids aren't at the risk of making you drink hard spirits too early in the morning, they stay home. And only students up to year 10, which I guess is that old rule is you can stay at home unsupervised if you're 14, right? Yeah. That was when you legally were allowed to babysit people and stay at home unattended. Because a lot of parents might be essential workers, have to go to work, so they can't look after the kids.

So year 10 upwards can stay at home and do all their learning online. Okay. Younger kids who essentially have to can go back to school. However, there will be like massive plans in place to isolate the children. Yeah. So they're not, you know, stretching the bubble too much. I think at my kids' school, which has usually got 700 students. No, that's too many.

400 or something? Yeah. I think there's going to be 30 kids there oh wow so far less and they'll all be separated and moving within just like their families if their siblings are there um so early childhood is another one uh they're going to be dealing with kids because i don't know if you know too many um pre-primary aged children but they put things in their mouths. Oh, yeah. They'll put that in some other kid's mouth and then back in their mouth.

That's why they're constantly sick and hand, foot and mouth. Grubby little buggers. Grubby little buggers. They are indeed. So they're going to be working really hard to keep those. The rule still applies that if you're sick, you stay at home. And always be, if you're a business, be preparing for the next stage.

Funerals. Okay. Weddings. Up to 10 people will be able to attend these. Okay. So no one could attend in level four, but now if someone does pass, you can have up to 10 people. Oh, that's nice. At a funeral. Good. If you want a shotgun wedding though and you want to do it cheap,

now's your time. At a funeral. If you want a shotgun wedding, though, and you want to do it cheap, now's your time. Now's your time. Keep prices down. Supermarkets carry on business as per usual, but you've still got to practice physical distancing. Still lining up? Still limited numbers at the supermarket? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. They'll be controlling that as they have been. What about exercise? Because they said now we can do travel and we can swim. So are you allowed to do some sort of exercise in the water but no motors? No motors. No motors.

I saw this on the news last night. Kayaking was back on the agenda but no motors. And still no gyms. I thought that huff was because of your paraponting. Oh, well, I've given up my paraponting until at least level two or one more. Right. Well, that's sensible of you

because I know you've been itching to get out there behind a boat. Even though you don't have one. Have I absolutely what? My parapon's got a smiley face on it. Oh, that's what everybody needs now. I know. It brings people a lot of joy. Yeah.

Okay. There are some domestic flights. Okay. Available, but it's still really limited service on that. Hal, we had Jared in before, Producer Jared talking about his 400 Tinder matches. Still no Tinder hookups allowed. No, absolutely not.

Any dating app hookups. That's a level two thing? Yes, that's a level two thing. Sports, golf, golf, lawn bowls, and croquet are some of the sports back on, and a bit of tennis, I believe. Tennis, but you have to book in. You can't just turn up at your golf course and expect to wander on.

Okay. Now, when am I going to be allowed to put my head in between the thighs of other men in the scrum at the rugby club? Not yet. Well, that's a very good question, but no, not yet. Not yet. Straight. Are you talking during a game of rugby or is this some sort of post-match function?

Having never been in a communal shower at a post-match rugby shower, I don't know what goes on in there. You can go fishing off a wharf. You can go fishing off a wharf. You can swim at your local beach. You can go on easy day walks and easy trails. No, like, great walks. Thank you very much.

So I guess the message is don't extend your bubble too much. One or two people max. Keep your social distancing. And then hopefully we can get out of Level 3 and get into some kind of normal with Level 2. Next on the show, we'll update you with the latest news. And then a round of celebrity fridge bingo with a couple of shorty

street. Big names. A couple of big name shorty. A couple of big dogs. I'd imagine they have an ice maker in their fridge freezer. Chris Warner's got an ice maker, I bet you. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Fletch Warner Megan's fridge bingo. Hello there. Hold on. Hold on just a minute. I'm just writing something down. Be with you in a jiffy. I mean, you could have had this ready. I'm ready to go. Okay.

Well, I'm not ready to go, but we'll roll with the rest on the fly. Fridge Bingo. We normally have two random contestants vying for the title of winner of Fridge Bingo. We read out random things that could be in your fridge. You buzz in. We've done a couple of celebrities, haven't we? Yeah. We had Matoodles. Matoodles and

Maddie McLean. Maddie McLean lost that one. He's not losing. He hates losing. He's not a huge fan, no. Joining us this morning from Shortland Street, this is a Shortland Street special, Ben Barrington. Good morning. Good morning, guys. How's it going? Good. Now, how have you

been in lockdown? I have to say, I've 90% really, really loved it. I'm doing it. Much like your doppelganger Vaughan. Loves a lockdown. Four bed men, five. I don't have the huge menagerie of exotic animals.

I'm out of my house. Wow. When this is all over you're more than welcome to come and give one a pat. He's like Q-Mu's own tiger king. He is! Oh my god, he is! He actually is.

Except it's more like Vaughn domestic because there's nothing freaky about the animals. They're all very easily acquirable. Yeah. Wow. All right. Well, Ben, you will be playing this morning against Michael Galvin. Good morning, Michael. Good morning.

And can I just say hi to my beautiful roommate, Ben, who I haven't seen for so long and I've missed. Hi, Ben. Hello, mate. Oh, seen for so long and I've missed apparently. Hi, Ben. Hello, mate. Oh, that's so nice of you to say. I think when we go back, you and I shoot our scenes in different parts of the building in green screen and then they put them together later on.

We don't share dressing rooms anymore. They've exiled Ben and Sam out of our dressing room to other dressing rooms so that we've all got our own dressing rooms. It's going to be very strange. We make these movies together but we never actually meet the entire time. When do you guys go back to filming?

When are you all back on board? Thursday. Thursday? Yeah, a couple of days. It's going to be very strange. We have to shoot all these things with a metre distance between us so they're going to have to edit it so, we have to shoot all the scenes with a metre distance between us, so they're going to have to edit it so that we're a bit closer. Wow.

Oh, my God. This could be a good time for Shortland Street to have a computer-generated storyline. Someone goes into a coma and... Get an animated version. Yes! That'd be a hot play. That's a great idea, and we just have to do version. Yes. That'd be a hot play. That's a great idea.

We just have to do voices. Yeah. All right, so Michael Galvin, if we call out something that's in your fridge, please yell out with ding. Ding. And Ben, dong will be your buzzer. Dong.

Okay, so first to three. Yep. Okay, let's... You got the randomiser there, Fletch? That's a good question. I do actually want... Okay, let's randomise to the randomiser there, Fletch? That's a good question. I do actually want... Okay, let's randomise to what we've got going on here. Oh!

An RTD of any sort. That's a ready-to-drink. Can I give you a half dong? What's a half dong? What's a half dong? It tends to be alcoholic, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, nah.

Okay. What have you got, Bill? I've got a Fijoijoa pear and elderflower. Oh, there's no booze in it. Oh, I don't know. He hasn't got any of those. There's no booze in it. Oh, I don't think it's a pear.

It's a fairy wings. That's beautiful. All right. Oh! Oh! Soy sauce. Ding. Please put this soy sauce in the fridge.

What kind of lunatic keeps soy sauce in the fridge? I don't keep it in the fridge. I keep it in the fridge. I'm with you, Ben. I don't keep it in the fridge. Yeah, man, don't record it. I just want it. I thought this was a... It's a pantry condiment.

It's a pantry condiment? I thought this was a sodium issue, the way you were like, oh, are you... Far too much sodium. You can get a saltiment? I thought this was a sodium issue, the way you were like, oh. Far too much sodium. You can get a salt-reduced soy sauce. I know, you can, can't you? But what are they putting in instead? I've got a gallon bottle of soy sauce, but I keep it in the pantry. And you're in the pantry.

Right. Madness. A spring onion. A spring onion? Nah. Nah. You sounded really disgusted, Michael. Nah. No, I do cook with spring onions, but just not now.

I just knew I didn't have one. That's all. I've got a very small fridge, so I'm fairly intimate with its contents. Really? Because, Michael, Megan said before, I bet you he's got an ice maker. No, God, no. No, no. I live a very primitive life. No ice makers.

Really? No ice makers. Have you got an ice maker, Ben? No, no, no, no, no. An? No, no ice makers. Have you got an ice maker, Ben? No, no, no, no, no, no. An ice maker, no. You fill up trays at the tap and then... Yeah. Across the kitchen.

Yeah, that's what I need to know. Guys, all right, here we go. Guys, guys, guys, guys. Okay. Oh, oh. Light it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Greek yogurt. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong.

Is that a ding and a dong? Yeah. No dings from me. No yogurt in my fridge. Okay. Great for me. I bought it the other day because I like the ad because we're watching it on the television. The ad grabbed me with Madeline Sami on it

where the donkey looks in the window. Jesus, though. I tell you what, they'll be pleased to hear that. I don't know the ad either. Carlos, Carlos. A donkey looks in the window and you were like, I'll do that. That's enough.

I'm going to try that. That's enough for me. I'm buying that yoghurt. Okay. Well, tell yourself things to Ben Barrington. Put a donkey looking through the window in the ad. Chocolate biscuits. No.

I got chocolate, but no biscuits. Not in biscuit form. I've got chocolate and I've got biscuits, but I've got no chocolate biscuits. Oh. Oh, I thought you'd have a Tim Tam. Nah. What biscuits have you got?

What biscuits are in the fridge? I've got leftover Easter ginger nice biscuits from Farrow's. Oh, wait a minute. I've got a ginger biscuit that's got an M&M on it. I think we'll accept that. We'll accept that. We'll accept that. It is.

It's a ginger biscuit. It is. It's a biscuit with chocolate. It's got a little bit of chocolate on it. That falls into the category. Okay, so I believe that you, Michael Gavin, you lead 2-1 over Ben Barrington, our Shortland Street special of Fridge Bingo.

Thank you, Julie. Thank you, Julie. Crushed garlic or ginger? Yep. He's got crushed ginger. Dang, he's got crushed ginger. No dong. Is that it?

Is there a dong there, Ben? It's real ginger. Oh, no. We're already getting crushed. We grate our own ginger, do we? We think we're a little bit better. We've got time to burn in one of those little wee graters, do we, Ben Barrington?

I thought you were a man of the people with no ice maker, but you grate your own ginger. Wow. You just have to get it so that it just accents your cooking just right. I'm with Ben.

He's gained my respect. And his soy sauce is in the pantry. All right. Come to the pantry. Come on. A couple of posh people here. Sorry, I didn't know we were playing with the queen. Well, the winner of Shortland Street Celebrity Edition Fridge Bingo,

Michael Galvin, Dr. Chris Carter. Fantastic. Thank you so much, guys. Greatest moment of my life. Thank you. Thanks very much. And happy to know that you guys are back into filming Shoreland Street on Thursday as well, all the best guys Yeah, can't wait, can't wait

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast A lot of restaurants and cafes are trying to open under level 3 but it does have to be contactless and someone who has launched something to help them out is the founder of Eat Local NZ. Tim McLeod joins us this morning.

Good morning, Tim. Morning, guys. So what kind of got you into this? Well, I'm a bit of a tech guy myself, but I'd just become aware of the rates that certain companies that shall be unnamed other than by the Prime Minister, were charging some pretty crazy rates. And then with the COVID saga sort of hitting,

I was walking down our local streets past all our favourite cafes, restaurants, bars, and sort of thinking, how the hell are they going to survive if the best technology platform that could save them is not really leaving any room for profit. Yeah, I mean, I'll mention them. Uber Eats. Hilary Barry has...

Oh, we were supposed to use the code name. Gruber Pete. Gruber Pete. Gruber Pete. Gruber Pete. So Gruber Pete, they're refusing to lessen or lower their cut. And a lot of restaurants restaurants even before COVID times had struggled and said they literally made no money

from Gruber Pets so going now to Eat Local, this is going to be a way for people to A, support their local businesses and also get deliveries as well Yeah, what we're trying to do is we're a community platform so we're trying to do is we're a community platform.

So we're trying to take the tech that those big guys have and put it in the hands of everyday Kiwis. So customers, venues and drivers can come together and use that same technology, but make it work for them rather than the current situation. Yeah. So how much do you take from the restaurants and cafes? Yeah, we're pretty straightforward. We're trying to be as transparent as possible.

So our fee is 5% plus 30 cents per transaction, and that's about 3% and 30 cents of cost for transaction fees. That includes credit card processing, so beware of hidden fees and some other ads around. We take a margin of 2%, but we're giving away half of that for the next 12 months through our local Legends program, which is designed to help Kiwis who are out of work. Nice. Have you seen a lot of people, because this is a great idea, have you seen a lot of people downloading and signing up and getting into it?

No downloading required. We're a web app, so it's nice and easy. You don't download the American one, And a couple of people got confused. Because I think we talked about it earlier this morning and people said... Someone did ask, yeah, because there's two of them in the app store. So you're not in the app store, you're just a web-based app. Yeah, yeah. So it's much easier and you'll see the reason why when we get to alert level two,

we've got a bunch of clever stuff lined up. But now I've told you what your question was. Sorry, what was it again? Just about people getting involved and downloading it. But okay.'ve told you what your question was. Sorry, what was it again? Just about people getting involved and downloading it. But okay. How can I forget that?

Yeah, no, it's been unbelievable. I think we're about to hit 700 venues, 120,000, I think, customers and about 300

job seekers. And that's, we've only been around for just over a week. So it's unbelievable. Unbelievable. Yeah. for just over a week so it's unbelievable unbelievable yeah and just even talking to friends in the last week i feel a lot of kiwis really do want to support local even if it's not uh food it's it's anything else like buy try to buy local first before you go ordering online from overseas because you know a lot of those places aren't

paying tax here uh and so you know yeah that we just want to miss it out. Yeah, well, that's the other angle. Yeah. Yeah, no, we just wanted to do our bit, really. And I suppose it just turns out we were like every other Kiwi, so our message really seems to be resonating with everyone, which is really cool. But we just want to make sure all these businesses, you know, partly selfishly, I want to make sure my favourite coffee joint cafes

and dinner joints are still actually here in six to 12 months. So, you know and that's going to take a bit of community spirit to get together and make sure that happens Totally Tim thank you so much

if you are listening and this is a bit of you eatlocal.co.nz Yeah eatlocal.nz on socials Thanks Tim Yeah

Thank you ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast Fact of the Day Day Day Day Day Thank you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. That felt laboured. That felt slower than usual. What was our first one back?

I was doing two things at once. That would explain my... Why I was a little bit slow. We'll shush it up for tomorrow. Try harder on the outro. That's all I'm saying. Oh, yeah, we're doing that. Yeah, well, I won't have anything else to do then. So I'm concentrating.

What were you doing? Just trying to find the fact of the day. Of course you were. Local relevance. Okay. You're about to see why. There was a study looked into how much athletes run during different sports. This was by a sports shoe.

It was not like one specific sports shoe manufacturer. Right. This was more like- Athlete's foot. Huh? Was it athlete's foot? No, it wasn... Athlete's foot. Huh? Was it athlete's foot? No, it wasn't by athlete. Oh, okay. You mean like a store that does lots of...

Sportvu is what it's called, and it like does technology that goes into a lot of shoes. Right. Like motion trackers and stuff. You see a lot of sportsmen now with the little pack in the back of their... Yeah. Between their shoulder blades with a GPS tracker.

Yeah, to see how much ground they cover. Well, that's what they looked into. So I just thought I would add, because golf courses are open today, but again, you've got to book. You've got to book your golf course. You can't just turn up to your golf course. But how many Ks do you think you cover in an average game of golf? How many kilometres do you think you would cover?

I don't know how. 18 holes of golf. how many kilometres do you think you would cover? 18 holes of golf. Bigger greeners. But aren't people getting on the little buggy things? Okay, if you were to walk, not take the buggy. How many k's? 18 k's. Nah, 10. 8 and a half. 8 and a half was the average amount of

kilometres that people walked while playing 18 holes of golf. That's not bad. That'd get you steps. Yeah. That'd be 10,000 steps. Yeah. If you just took a step just under a metre, it'd probably add up to 10,000,

and that's all the magical steps that everybody talks about. So that kind of doesn't explain why some of those old boys that play golf have got such massive guts on them. They do have big guts. They play golf five or six times a week. That means they're walking like nearly 60 k's a week. They must be sinking a few at the 19th hole. Yeah. A few

carb heavy Guinnesses or something. I just googled like what would an all black run during a match. Okay. Do you want these? Yeah. So GPS studies have shown halfbacks cover more distance than any other position averaging 7 7km a match and covering much of it at high intensity. Because obviously the halfback has to be there at the breakdown in the rucks,

don't they, so they can get the ball. Okay, so how many was that? 7km a match. Okay, so the winner of the sport that these guys studied was football, soccer. Right, okay. And they covered 11.2 kilometres average. So some players ran more and some players ran less. That didn't include the goalie.

They didn't put the goalie in this because... Lazy, they're lazy. They just go to the box, don't they? Back and forth. Hadn't really thought about that. You know the end, if it's a draw and it goes all onto the goalie. I was like, it's unfair they're putting too much pressure on the goalie, but he has just been standing around.

Exactly. He's not been doing a lot. Right up until that moment. He's probably saved some goals. Kind of exciting for him. Not that there's no score. Yeah, he may have saved some. You're assuming that there's been no shots at goal.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm just assuming he didn't have to move too far to stop them. Oh, yeah, but that's a pivotal role. And he walks out. When he gets real far away from his goal, he goes. Yeah, encouragement. And that's soccer. We've run 11 Ks.

And then the ball comes to him and he's like. Rolls around. He's like, that guy looked at me with too much heat. But other sports. Tennis, you might be surprised to know because it's quite a small court but they run at around 8km.

In a whole match? Yeah. Wow. In a 5 set match. 8km? Yep, it can be up to 8km of running but it's so small I guess but it's so quick, they go back and forth back. It's like doing the beep test. Oh, God. Yes.

Non-stop. NBA players were at about three and a half kilometres. Okay. Three and a half kilometres in the NBA, but longer legs, so less steps. That's what we should have done. Exactly right.

We should have done a lockdown, the beep test. We could have got better at that. Well, I don't think we needed to be further shamed. And looking in the mirror was enough. That became very confronting. Beep. What are you saying?

Beep. The beep test itself didn't get fat. Are you sure? I think everything got a bit fat. Level three. Beep, beep, beep, beep. It was like bleh. Level three.

Level four. And you could just hear the beep test eating a biscuit. Level four. And then it started sounding more surprised the higher you got. Level seven. How high do I go? So the lowest sports were American football. They didn't do bugger

rule. Under two kilometres. And baseball was actually really low. Because most New Yorkers walk a greater distance to work each day than the average player runs in a game. Because the only people that, like the fielders do a bit of running

but the people that hit and run the bases, it's really not that far around there. So today's fact of the day is if you're going to go and play 18 holes of golf, you're likely to walk, on average, 8.5 kilometres. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I don't know if researchers have been in lockdown and bored as well but it seems like it because a new survey has been done by researchers and they've found the name

of women who are most likely to cheat at board games. Sade. Do you have any evidence with this? We have, we got this, what's it called? Monopoly Empire. Oh, yeah. And it's different to traditional Monopoly.

Yeah. What happens in this one? It's way quicker. Basically, you've got this little black plastic tower. And when you go around, you buy the little streets as per use, but you put them in your tower. Now, the person who fills their tower up the first is the winner.

Oh, okay. So, obviously, the ones at the end, and it's all like brands, like Skype's one of the big ones. Oh, yeah. And you put it in, it takes up more spots on the tower. And it's way quicker. And the kids, like and it takes up more spots on the tower. And it's way quicker and the kids like caught on real quick

on how it works. Okay. And it's not long and boring like a game of Monopoly. Yeah. But it's pretty savage because you can steal other people's businesses

to make your empire bigger. Oh, okay. Ruthless. And then you remember the next time you can possibly steal who stole off you. But how did your wife cheat?

Well, she tries to strong arm the kids into making decisions against me. Wow. And I just say, hey, look, you decide what's best for you. Right. Okay. Do you want me to tell you what they are?

I've actually just looked at this list and I'm aghast. Oh, well, your name will be definitely on there. Because this is like one of those lists that pops up like, these women will be having babies in 2020. No, it's not. And they just pick the like 50 most popular names and popped them on there and they wrote tags on their names. No, this is from a survey.

So a marketing agency, they asked people who in their family was most likely to cheat. And then they collected the names of the people that got the most votes. Okay. And so the top five, I'll go from five to one. Okay. For women specifically is Claire, number five, Georgia, Hannah, Megan.

Megan at two. And number one is Emily. Emily is the female most likely to cheat at board games. And do you have the male list? I do. So from bottom to top, five is Isaac, Callum, Scott. Callum? Yeah. Callum's not even a very popular. Well, you've got is Isaac, Callum, Scott. Callum? Yeah.

Callum's not even a very popular. Well, you've got a friend, Callum. Do you ever cheat in Monopoly? You were that little bugger. Scott, William is at number two, and Ashley is the guy who is most likely to cheat. Ashley Bloomfield. I could not imagine him cheating in Monopoly.

He goes home from his 1pm daily debrief to the nation on the COVID-19 situation, and he cheats at Scrabble. And he's licking cheating at Monopoly. He goes home from his 1pm daily debrief to the nation on the COVID-19 situation and he cheats at Scrabble. And he's licking money from Monopoly. And when his wife's not looking. He puts a word down that's not even a word and his kid's like, Dad, that's not a word. He's like, excuse me, I'm the doctor around here. 1,000 points.

Wow. Okay. Have you ever cheated at a board game? All the time. All the time. Yeah, I was like, Vaughn should surely be in here. Yeah, I guess. This monopoly we've got, it's harder to cheat at.

Right. But traditional monopoly. Walk in the park to cheat in that thing. Especially if you're the banker. Well, when you're dishing out the community chess cards, you pocket a couple of favourable ones. Oh, yeah. You pull those out on a later date.

Yeah, baby. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. Researchers and studies found in the UK that, because they're in a very similar, would you say same as us lockdown? You've got friends in the UK. It seems similar, doesn't it?

Yeah, it's a little bit different. Like, they don't think bars and restaurants will be open for actual, like, go in, sit down. And you know how much people in Britain love the pub. Yeah. Till the end of the year. I was saying it'll be a long time before that can happen again. They've got a lot of the roads.

Just drinking at home. No, the establishment. I don't know. I don't know. Well, then you even think here, like when clubs and bars, when will they be allowed to open here? Don't know. You'd hope.

It won't be level two, will it? I wouldn't think so. Because you couldn't have like a nightclub. No. You couldn't be in the club with a two metre bubble. No, no, no. Impossible. You know how much I'm looking forward to getting back to the club for a dirty grind.

A dirty grind? A dirty grind on a sticky floor. I personally love walking somewhere where my shoes go. I've been out with Vaughan and he says, hold my long white. It's time to hit the sticky dance floor for a dirty grind. You don't say a dirty grind. A dirty wind. What's a dirty wind?

A dirty wind. Dirty wind. Dirty wind. No, what is a dirty wind? I should have said maybe what you're thinking. Dirty grinders. Yeah, you're dancing with your SO, your significant other, and you're grinding.

You're letting them know. You're letting them know. I don't even see. You're letting them know. There's a little indicator, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, that you're having a good time. In this public place with the sticky floor and the disgusting toilets

and the person who's vomited three people behind you. I'm going to get us an economy cab. Let's get out of here. And oh, what's that?

No, I can't hear you. The music is far too loud for our conversation. So in the UK, a study has found that one in eight people are questioning their relationship

after this extended lockdown period. Twelve and a half percent? Yeah, about that. So if you know eight people. Yeah, a lot of people have had to live with their partner quite full on. Because you think about it, normally you'd get to go to work, wouldn't you? You get a break from them.

Yeah. Yeah. And so you get that break, but there hasn't been that break. So that has been putting a lot of pressure on a lot of relationships. We've asked you, are you considering breaking up with your partner after lockdown? This was on our Instagram poll. Thousands of votes in. Is there any way we can look at that?

See what way my wife voted? Because there were a couple of days where she... Well, yeah, you could actually scroll through the yes. Okay, I will. Yeah. The words just don't look at me. What made. I'm on her side already, but what made you say that?

I just get a bit silly. I just got out to wind her up. What were you doing to wind her up? She was even looking at me. Like hiding. Hiding places and then yelling out, you're going to have to find me. She's like, I'm not interested in finding you.

I'd be like, well, I'm just going to keep hiding. And then I'd do sneaking. She particularly hates when I do my sneaking, my not sneaky sneaking, where I like walk right behind her and I'd be like, hey, just sneaking around. I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Wow.

Yeah. Okay, wow. Well, are you considering breaking up with your partner after lockdown? 10% of people said yes. They are. That's in New Zealand. Wow. And that's after thousands

and thousands of votes. That's one in 10. 7,000 votes this morning. One in 10 people. Yeah. It's been a long four weeks. I don't think break up straight on the end of it. No, give it a bit of breathing room again.

See how you feel. Or a couple of weeks in level two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, if you were also considering it before lockdown and during lockdown and now in level three lockdown. Yeah, fair enough. Probably all good. But you might feel better today after a Big Mac. Yeah, there's a lot of added stress and anxiety and we're not having takeaways.

They might come home today and they've surprised you with a burger and they bought you your own fries. Yeah. Because they just don't want you eating theirs. And you might be like, that's right. I do love you. It's love. This is Fletch, Va's right. I do love you. It's love.