ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 29th 2020

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

Worst Lockdown Breaches  Trolley Hack  Fletch has some News!  McDonalds Stats Homeschool!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Anybody have takeaways yesterday? No. Nah, because I looked at the lines and I was like, I am not lining up.

There's no lines. We've heard reports this morning, like less. Oh yeah. It was just knee-jerk reaction. Everyone was keen to get in there first thing. No one's got any money left. They spent all their food budget in one huge swerve on the takeaways. I mean, I'm imagining they're still busy. People just won't have been lining up since 4 a.m.

Yeah, yeah. We are saying there's no lines. It's 6 a.m. Yeah. But there might be lines later on in theam. Yeah. Yeah. We are saying there's no lions. It's 6am. Yeah. But there might be lions later on in the day. Yeah. The Prime Minister, you would have just heard Ash say the Prime Minister had a call from the Queen.

Yeah. Last night. There's a photo of her on the phone. Covering one ear because the old person's talking quite quietly. You know when you get your phone on full volume and you're kind of like, nope, still can't hear them properly. Do you think she makes Clark take those photos? She's like, I'm just on the phone.

Well, you know the Anzac Day, whenever I went to the end of the driveway or got up for dawn, she was at the driveway with Clark and the security guy. That was her dad, wasn't it? Oh, was it her dad? So her mum took that photo. Right. Oh, I didn't see his face.

Well, I don't know if mum took that photo. He was very well dressed for that time of the morning. That's why I thought security. Oh, right. No, it's just because he's in a place where he gets up early. He'd look like security. Yeah. He used to run, as I recall, he used to run the odd Anzac Day.

Right. With Fing and Morrisville. But do you think mum took the photo? Why is your Anzac Day being a lot colder? Eh. Global warming. Global warming. I guess, yeah.

That all stacks up. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Good, yes, good. Well, the top six dealing with the queens, our conversation. The top six things Jacinda said to the queen. And the queen said to Jacinda.

Coming up. Next though, a busy day for the AA yesterday as the Queen said to Jacinda. Coming up. Next though, a busy day for the AA yesterday as people got back in their cars. Oh, I think you mean Alcoholics Anonymous. We still haven't given up drinking though. I'd say probably busy for them too. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

And a bunch of Kiwis went back to work yesterday. It's put a lot of pressure on takeaways and on the AA. They have asked members to only request roadside assistance if it is urgent. Yesterday was shaping up to be their busiest day on record. So they expect 1,200 call-outs usually over a 24-hour period. Wow! I know, I thought that was a lot too. That's a lot!

But that's over the whole country. Yeah, I guess that's a lot. Yeah. A lot of flat batteries. Well, that's what everyone was calling about yesterday. So at 4pm yesterday, they already had 1,500 call outs, which is more than usual. By midnight, they were expecting

between 1,700 and 1,800 jobs. Most of them flat batteries. So they're asking people if you haven't yet started your car, please do that. Start your engine for 30 minutes at least once a week. So people just left their cars in the garage for

like the whole four weeks. Maybe. How were they not going to the supermarket? Or maybe you've got two cars and you go on one car. Yeah. That's why yesterday the Honda's battery, which is on the low side of working, any time it doesn't run every day.

Your whole car is on the low side of working. It is still very much an efficient vehicle. Or when you're in a flat, you always go on the nicest car. You're like, can we take your car? Yeah. Or you get your car right at the front and then all the other cars

park behind us. It's real hard to get out. So yeah, we can't take my car. It's trash. Yeah. Yeah. So you had this problem

yesterday morning because you hadn't used the Honda. Yeah. Oh, is that why you drove the nice one? That's why we drove

the nicer car, yeah. But it's, yeah, it's nicer. One of your lights, that's what I was pointing at yesterday. Yeah, I know. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's been like that for ages but it's not like an, yeah. But it's, yeah, it's nicer. One of your lights, that's what I was pointing at yesterday. Yeah, I know.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's been like that for ages. But it's not like an important light. No, it's one of those ones that sit down the bottom. Oh, all the time. Yeah. It's this row of LED lights. But that's the nice car.

Oh, the nice car's falling to bits. I keep leaning to Google how to fix that. Okay. All right, you know. It's not, I'm not legally required to have it. No. That's what I'm saying, so. Yeah, right.

Don't panic. It's all good. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The Brits have revealed their favourite level four, well, their equivalent of level four lockdown snack. Okay. Because you're staying at home, you're snacking at home a lot more. And I just wanted, they've got the top 15 here,

and at 8% lemon drizzle cake. Lemon drizzle cake always reminds me of Little Britain. Did you see Little Britain did like a really Little Britain episode for charity over the break? No, I didn't. There were some characters in their dress up and they literally acknowledged that this would not go down very well in modern

times. You know that one, I'm lady and he's like, and I don't think we should be doing this anymore. Yeah, and that hasn't aged well, that show, has it? No. At all. No. Wouldn't fly. So the top 10 that they've said, corn chips and dips.

Okay. That's 10. Yeah. Custard cream biscuits. Pot noodle, which is basically two minute noodles, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's a classic. Two minute noodles is a classic snack.

That's an eight. Seven, a ham and cheese toasty. Six. I got out the toasty sandwich maker machine. I got out the toasty sandwich maker machine. I got out my toasty sandwich maker and I threw it out because it's absolutely. It's man-keying. Is it a panini press or is it a toasted sandwich maker? Oh, no, it's toasted sandwich.

Yeah. So it seals it in. That's the problem. Mine didn't seal anymore and I left it in there for like 20 minutes and it was still soggy. How does it not seal? I don't know. So I just chucked it out. And it's soggy.

And then I didn't have to clean it because it was a sloppy mess and I was it not seal? I don't know. So I just chucked it out. And it's soggy. And then I didn't have to clean it because it was a sloppy mess and I was like, no, I'm calling it. You can buy like $20 ones from the supermarket. I think that's what, mine was the cheap one.

I don't know where it was from, but. Supermarket electronics, you're always rolling the dice with those. They're like, could this burn my house down? And also, yeah, if you're hitting that to make it hard,

it's not going to last long. Nah. No. Need a good deep one. Need the deep filling. Like a Jaffel. Like a Jaffel. Yeah.

That's next level, right? But do you use bread in a Jaffel or is that more of a traditional pastry situation, right? Do whatever you want. Because then it gets

a little bit pie-like. Okay. Good toasted cheese sandwich chat there. Good. I'm pleased with all the angles we covered. Okay, good.

Number six, salted peanuts. Five, salt and vinegar crisps. Cheese and biscuits. Now that means cheese and crackers, right? Yeah, cheese and crackers, yeah. Did the British call them biscuits? Yeah, cheese and biscuits. Because that's what we were playing Fortnite and I was eating.

Have you tried the snacks, American burger flavoured? Have we talked about those? Oh, I saw you. Did you post about these? I think Sade posted. Sade did, yeah. No one's getting a free beer around here

on my side. They want me to tell people about them there. They can pay me. You want to just tell them on the radio, sure. This worthless old media. No, but the men are so good.

And I was eating them and my mate was like, what are you eating? I was like, these like snacks, crackers. He's like, no, if they're flavoured, they're not crackers, they, and my mate was like, what are you eating? I was like, these, like, snacks, crackers. He's like, no, if they're flavoured, they're not crackers, they're biscuits. I was like, what are you talking about? No, biscuits are like...

It's from the UK. Yeah. Oh, no. I thought they had a real hierarchy. Like a biscuit, you have a cup of tea and a biscuit. Yeah. Yeah. And you wouldn't have a cup of tea and a...

And a snacks cracker. No. Yeah, you're sweet and you're savoury. So these crackers taste like a burger. Yeah, they're pickle flavoured. Oh, okay. We're just a huge fan of pickle flavoured at our house. We're all into your burger flavour.

Anything pickle. When a burger's got burger flavour or something, it's just pickle flavour. Yeah, right. Cheese and pickle. Cheese and pickle. A bacon sandwich in at number three. Okay, these are the most popular ISO snacks. Oh, a bacon sandwich.

Yeah. Like a bacon bun. Cheese and onion chips in at number three. Okay, these are the most popular ISO snacks in the UK. Oh, a bacon sandwich. Yeah. Like a bacon bun. Cheese and onion chips at number two. Do you know what? I feel like we underrate them. The cheese and onion chips? Yeah.

I just think there's always a better option though. Yeah, way better. Cheese and onion's pretty good. Yeah, but... And green onion. People underestimate that. What are you like 80?

That's a real boomer. No, but don't you go to a party and then you're like, what are these? Accidentally. And you're like, actually. No, I don't underestimate that. What are you, like, 80? That's a real boomer. No, but don't you go to a party, and then you're like, what are these, accidentally? And you're like, actually. No, I don't do that, because I see them a mile off. They're always a thin cut, and they've always got a speckle of green on them. Yeah, and I'm traumatically reminded of when my parents

would go out and leave us home alone, and we'd get into the chips cupboard, which was in the laundry up the top. I don't know why they would put them in there. And the only flavours would be sour cream and chives and green onion. And I think now looking back on it, they were only buying those flavours to stop us going too crazy. Yeah.

But you'd turn your nose up at them. I'm just like, if that's all there is, that's what I'm getting. No, we would smash a whole bag and two frozen pizzas when my parents were out. But that's also why I'm a bit iffy on frozen pizzas. Just gorging on them. Yeah. Healthy. And number one on the list of Britain's favourite lockdown snacks was cheese on toast.

Oh, yeah, that's easy. Cheese on a bit of bread under the grill. Yeah. Get a bit of ham on there. Make yourself a mini pizza. Yeah, you've got to put something on there. Ah, just a bit of cheese. Tomato sauce base.

What kind of cheese? They're just rocking an eating or something. Cheese, yeah. something on there. Ah, just a bit of cheese. Tomato sauce base. What kind of cheese? They're just rocking it eating or something. They're just cheese, yeah. Cheddar. It looks just like a slice of cheese. It doesn't look like they've even grated it. You're not toasting. You know those cheese slices?

You ever toast those and they get skin on them? Are you into that? I made triple cheeseburgers over the break. We also didn't touch on skinny people. We've got time for that. Sidebar. Now. Well, tell us about your triple cheeseburgers.

So I made triple cheeseburgers, and one of the cheeses was the glad wrap cheese. Yeah. Cheese slices. Plastic wrap cheese. We call it plastic cheese. Yeah, plastic cheese. I love folding them in half.

No, I liked sucking the cheese out of them when they were still wrapped. Try it. Oh, yuck. I've seen them in half. No, I like sucking the cheese out of them when they're still wrapped. Try it. Oh, yuck. I've seen people do that. You have too much plastic in your mouth. I don't like it. No, I just think it lasts longer.

You're eating microplastics. Oh, well. Some of those people you see vigorously fingering a yogurt out of the bottle. Like, rather than getting a spoon, they're like... It's like, no. Too much tongue on plastic. Yeah. So I put that on the actual

burger patties and then, like, cook the burger patties and then put the cheese on top for the last little bit so they melt. But you're right, it melts weird. Yeah. It melts weird. How do you feel about skinny people? Skinny people are starting to really piss me off. Because they're like, oh my god, I've put in so much weight in isolation.

It's like, are you kidding me? Look at your skin and bones over there. And then they put up a picture of them in their active webbing, like, I've got to work out. Look how grown I am. Oh, my God. God, I can't. I tried to put on the top that I used to go to the gym in

when I was in good shape a couple of years ago, and I was like, hmm, hmm, hmm. You know that thing like when you're putting on a tight pair of socks where you have to work a side at a time. It was very confronting. I'm not going to do anything about it, but I'll tell you, it was very confronting. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast.

The number of breaches that happened per district during level four has been released. And I can tell you that the district who was the worst offender was almost double second place. Oh, I like when someone's way worse. Way worse. Way ahead of everyone else. Right. So you've got the stats for the whole country?

I've got, yeah. Oh, okay. Maybe I should leave the winner because they won by a country mile. Okay. Till last. Okay. Till last. Okay. I don't have them in order, but I can tell you that Auckland City,

555 breaches. Okay. This is breaches of the Health Act, breaches of the Civil Defence Emergency. So people who were doing naughty things just in general, things they shouldn't be doing during level four lockdown. So this includes

prosecutions, warnings, and youth referrals. Yes. Okay, so anything that needed enforcement action. Okay, because most of them are warnings, aren't they? You'd say the majority of them warnings. Yeah. Some of them are serious or what they call

persistent breaches. Right. So someone doing it again and again. So Auckland City, 555. Bay of Plenty was 324. Okay. Canterbury, 499. Central. What's that?

If I was in charge in Canterbury, I would have said, can you just go out and get one more? Yeah, I know. The $499 really annoyed me too. Just hit the $500. I would have just issued it on one of the police officers. You're so close.

We just needed you to take a little telling off. Take one for the team, Sergeant Gary. Yeah. You're going down for this one. Central $544. Eastern $ 369. Southern was 385. Northland 216.

These are all, I mean, a little bit of difference, but all much of a match. Over four weeks, that's not bad, is it? No. Tasman 331. Waikato 416. Waitematā 441. And Wellington 655. Wellington was second place with 655 breaches.

Coming in first with 1,122 breaches was Counties Manukau. Oh, naughty. Oh, wow. So naughty. That is like miles ahead. It's almost double. Wow. Wow. So naughty. That is like miles ahead. It's almost double. Wow. Wow.

So naughty. But yeah, I mean, a lot of them could have been warnings. And could have been big group warnings too. That would have spiked the numbers. Doesn't go into, I wanted details of what these people had done. Yeah, most of them were, of that total, 942 were warnings. How many actual, who got the worst? Like, you've got a list there, listed by prosecutions.

Prosecutions. What area got the most prosecutions? Wellington. Oh, my, Wellington by far, 120 prosecutions. Then Counties Monaco, 78 prosecutions. Nourney Wellington. 82 prosecutions in Canterbury. What were Wellingtonians doing? I don't know. To, 78 prosecutions. Nourney Wellington. 82 prosecutions in Canterbury. What are Wellingtonians doing?

I don't know. To lead to prosecutions. It's all those civil servants sneaking back into the office. Oh, do you think? To get the accounts done. Yeah. Because the end of the business year. Oh, yeah.

A lot of tax finances. Oh, you can't keep them away, can you? No. No, I do. You have to drag them kicking and screaming from their desks. They love it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Fletch just said something about the self-service checkouts. Well, this is a hack. At supermarkets, a hack. But we, well, hold on just a minute. This is a flawed hack. We need to discuss this. And your opinion is required. If you go to our Instagram account, FEMZM,

you can vote on a poll in our stories. Okay, and we'll deal with this supermarket hack soon. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Last night, the Prime Minister let us know she'd had a catch-up with the Queen. A little chit-chat with Her Royal Highness about events. I love in her post, she said,

I'm always amazed about what she can remember. Like, basically an underhanded, she's not, you know, she's 93, but she's still with us. No, she means in terms of specific events

over the years in New Zealand and stuff. Her affection for New Zealand, her interest in what's happening here and her memory of the places and events that are special to us never ceases to amaze me. Yeah.

It just made it sound like she's not as old and batshit as most 93-year-olds. She's not, though. She's not. She rides horses still. I know. Yeah. It's madness. Again, it's that midday gin and tonic.

It's a thorough drinking schedule. Yeah. It's a thoroughly... And be regular with it. Well thought out drinking schedule. Yeah, she doesn't binge drink. She just drinks nonstop. Yeah. Right way to... Basically pickling yourself. Sp out drinking schedule. Yeah, she doesn't binge drink. She just drinks non-stop. Yeah.

Great way to basically pickling yourself. Spend your time. Yeah. Yeah. So the top six things they discussed is today's top six. Number six on the list of the top six things the Queen and Jacinda discussed on the phone. People Jacinda doesn't know. That is an old person

classic. It really is. Do you remember Des and Sue who you met once when you were three years old? Nope. Let me spend 20 minutes telling you about what they've been doing. You simply must. Here's their whole family tree. Do you know them now? Mm-mm.

Do your parents say that? Like, talk about people when you don't know them? You'd know most of them because you live on the farm. Yeah, I know most of them. Yeah, they don't have a huge... My parents do the opposite. Oh, you won't remember, blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, yeah, I saw them two weeks ago. Now, you won't remember Justin. You mean my brother. That's the one. You won't remember him. No, I don't. God, what's he been up to lately?

But it is an old person classic. Number five on the list of the top six things the Queen and Jacinda discussed, the weather. Oh, yeah. Some good weather chat. The Queen going into summer, us going into winter. Jacinda probably said something like,

well, God, it still feels quite warm. Yeah, it's not as cold as it was. God, it's going to be May next week and it doesn't feel like it. That's what she would have said. Something like that. Duck shooting next weekend was going to be, wasn't it? But it's not. It's been delayed a week.

Right. Because we might be in level two by then. Is that right? Yes. The duck shooting. Right. And that's always like, it's got to be cold by duck shooting. But it's not.

It's not. Yeah, right. It's so close, but it's not. Why does it got to be cold? It just always was. Why does it have to be cold? Because you always was. Why does it have to be cold? Because you have to get it close with your mate in the, what are they called? The my-mice?

The my-mice. The my-mice. You've got to kiss your friend in the my-mice. You've got to put on your Ridgeline fleece. Yep. You need the excuse of bottom water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give us a little kiss.

What? No. My lips are cold. Sounds like a duck. Watch. See? Number five on the list of the top six things that Gwen and Jacinda discussed, the doggies. Oh, yeah, right.

Do you know about her dogs? The ones that she's got left? The corgis. The doggies. What are doggies? Her last corgi died in 2018. Dash Hound Corgi. Correct.

It's a cross between a Dash Hound and a corgi. What do you call it? A doggie. The one I saw when I Googled a picture of it looked a bit like a little miniature dingo. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yep.

It's not as fat as a corgi. They're kind of like an ottoman, aren't they? Oh, they change so much. Some of them have real corgi faces and some of them have real dashies. That's the thing about a mixed breed. I'm pretty sure hers look more like corgis than they do dashhounds. Dashhounds are a low, you shouldn't have a low dog when you're that old

because you'll trip over them. I love dashhounds. I'm definitely getting one in my lifetime. You would. They're redonkulous. You would get a dashhound. They're so cute. Thank you.

That's silly. Was that an insult? Yeah, it was. Have you watched Perch Perfect? Yeah. Do you like it? Yeah. Was that an insult? Yeah, it was. Have you watched Pooch Perfect? Yeah. Do you like it? Yeah. I saw an ad for this.

Yeah. Is it Reba Wilson? So many people love Pooch Perfect. My daughters, it's like their favourite show ever because for the whole episode, you basically just get to see a whole bunch of different dogs. Yeah. And so it's dog grooming, right?

Dog grooming. Yeah. And Reba Wilson hosts it and all she does is make 18 bitch puns an episode. Right. I don't think they needed Reba Wilson. I think she brings the show down. I think she's great.

I think she's great in it. Well, she lied about her age. That's not her dog, eh? No, I think it is her dog. Very well trained dog. How do we know she's not lying about the dogs? There's a dog on there called Russell. Is that really Re Rebel Wilson's dog?

Why do you have to bring it down? It's really good. It's just like a whole bunch of shaggy dogs that get like makeovers. Afterwards they look stupid. The people would have to take them home and shave them because there's no way you could carry on with your dog. Was it last week when one of the couples, they were an older couple, they got quite emotional when their little puppy came out.

It was like rainbow ears. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the other thing. So these nuts people who let their dogs get a bit fluffy, who then give them to these groomers who want to be the best dog groomer in Australia or whatever. When their dogs come out on the catwalk, they move them to the front row and then they film them going like bat shit crazy.

Like, oh, my God, here he is. And this is a TV show, a primetime TV show. Primetime TV show. Yes, this week it's bumped. Have you been paying attention to 8.30? Well, maybe you should

start grooming dogs. We're back broadcasting from home. Putting our blood, sweat and tears into it. We'll be on at 8.30. That's where this bitterness has come from. No, because no, no, no.

My bitterness was before I knew that it had bumped us. And now it's even, are you even bitter? No, see, it's not her dog. It's not her dog. Oh, okay. See, she lied about that too. He is a three-year-old Russell the Brussels. I don't know that she ever said it was her dog.

Yes, she always says my dog. I named you after Russell Crowe. She's a liar. Oh my God. On with the lies Russell Crowe. She's a liar. Oh, my God. On with the lies, rebel. It's a great show. That's right, because we're doing this now. Number three on the list of the top six things the Queen and Jacinda discussed,

Chelsea Winter's lockdown life. A lot of chat about Chelsea Winter's lockdown life. Has the Queen done it? Yeah, yeah, she did it. What did she put as a topping? Everything. Marmalade. Marmalade.

Did she go for a sweet one and she swirl in a little bit of marmalade on the top? And then put it on top and made it crusty, like caramelised. That's what I imagine the Queen would do. That's a hot high. Yeah, maybe like a little crumbling of brown sugar. Or she would have got someone to do it with for her.

Number two on the list of the top six things the Queen and Jacinda discussed. Who's cuter, Niamh or Princess Charlotte? Oh, yeah. They probably like, he said, oh, no, Niamh's cuter. We don't really see Niamh that often, though. No, we don't. We're getting Prince Charlotte shoved in our face every other time.

We're not. We're not. At least I know that Kate Middleton, she says, this is my daughter and it is her daughter, not like Ruma Wilson and that dog. She's just claiming ownership of that well-trained Bichon Griffin. Is it a Bichon Griffin? Yeah, it is.

Oh, my God, it's the same as Leo. No, it's not. Yes, it is. That's not what Leo is. I think I'd know what my dog's breed is. But it doesn't look like Leo. Well, just like you said moments ago, when you get a mix of two dogs,

you don't know what you're going to get. Why didn't you get the nicer mix? Oh my God. It's like when you accidentally mix way too much rum and you rum and coke and you're like, Whoa. I'm stuck with it now. No, I lie, I lie. It's not a Bichon Griffin.

It's a Brussels Griffin. Sorry, Megan. Sorry, Megan. I misquoted. Is that a Griffin mix with a Brussels sprout? Yes. Good. Oh my God, they're pretty cute.

That would explain the ugliness. And the boogly eyes like a Brussels sprout. And number one on the list of the top six things that Queen and Jacinda discussed, not Prince Andrew. Yeah. She'd change the subject pretty quick. Still don't talk about old Andy. All right.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We were just talking about trips to the supermarket and I was amazed that Fletch informed us that the little half trolleys, which are my favorite sort of trolleys. Oh, I always use a half trolley. Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah.

They are good for a little zip around. Although lately we've been doing like a big weekly shop to avoid going too many times, so we've been going back to the family-sized trolley. But the half trolley, you said that they drive straight over. Because I've always thought that the shelves beside the self-service checkout were at an odd height. Yes. They're an odd height. I don't know if this is the same at New World or Pack and Save, because their machines are different.

Pack and Save doesn't have half trolleys. They don't have half trolleys. Our one doesn't. I don't. Well, right, okay. I haven't seen one. I don't have a Pack and Save near me, so I don't know. But at Countdown, their half trolleys slide perfectly

over the self-serve shelf of the self-serve checkout. Because I do this all the time. So I mention this, and people are aghast. Some people here. Well, because I said that's a great engineering. I love admiring engineering. But you don't take a trolley through the self-service. You don't take a full trolley through the self-service.

You don't take a family trolley. You can take a half trolley. How many items are in your trolley? Oh, it can be packed to the nines. No, it can't be packed to the nines. It absolutely can be. I thought we were on a sort of a, it was like an express lane situation with the South Sea. It doesn't say express lane.

Because then you get to the point where you've got too much stuff and it's like, I know an item in the bagging area. Oh, no, that's on you for being silly. But then you've got to be able to fit your stuff because then if you take it off, it's like, where's it all gone? And it freaks you out. No, you wait till it goes green. The lights go green on the self-serve machine. Then you can take whatever's on the bagging area off. Which would suggest that you can have more than 12 items

because they allow you to do that. But then if you've got a trolley, what are you putting it into? Back into the trolley or into on the floor. It'll be in the bags and the trolley. But the trolley's still being used for unloading the stuff on the other side. You've got to be quick. You've got to be quick.

If you're using bags, you're fine. You put the bags on the ground. There is no limit. Man, I get the filthy look. No, but you don't get told, and I've never been told off for doing it, and it never says anywhere this is a limited item aisle. Yeah, no, look at the next time you use the self-serve. There's no sign that says 12 items or less.

It always was of the understanding it was a limited item aisle. No. This is why you take in your half trolley. I'm not waiting in line for the checkout. To be fair, when I've seen people take big stuffed family trolleys through, I'm more looking at them for the checkout. Right. To be fair, when I've seen people take family, big stuffed family trolleys through, I'm more looking at them like that's a mission. I couldn't be bothered with that. Yeah, it would be quicker for you to go through the checkout, right?

Yeah, but I don't care if they're doing that and put that upon themselves. I was always of the understanding there was a no-packed trolley situation. What do we, producers, what do we think? Absolutely not. You don't take trolley. Not even a half trolley. It infuriates me. What do we, producers, what do we think? Absolutely not. You're not taking a half trolley.

It infuriates me. Unless you've got like 13 perky nanas, then I'll allow you to go over the 12-item limit. But then you should have had a basket. There's no 12-item limit. I feel like there's a gentleman's agreement. No, there's not, because there's an express lane. There's an express lane where those people can go, but no one said the self-service was express.

But I feel like there's a nod. There's a gentleman's nod to the expressness of it. No, absolutely not. You're wrong. I very rarely agree with one of Fletcher's tirades, but I'm on his side today. No, yeah, but Mountie, what do you think? I think the little trolley's okay

as long as you're not getting in anyone's way. The half trolley, yeah, exactly. And there's no limit, is there? No, I just think the more items you're taking through there, the more likely you are to cause a hold-up. No. Because you guarantee there'll be a missed scan, there'll be something that doesn't scan,

there'll be a unit approval. But that could be a basket issue. Or maybe their barcode was put in wrong or something. It's not always your fault. Yeah. Well, 55%, a small minority agree with you. Is it okay to take a trolley through the self-serve checkout? 55% yes, 45% no way.

Pack and save self-service is 12 items. Is it? Yep. It's got a limit of 12 items. Countdown has no limit on their self-service checkouts. Thank you. There we go. Someone's messaged in there. The limit does not exist. Oh my God. Except if you're a pack and save. It's a man kills reference.

Who's going to pack and save and not getting, you always get more than 12 items. A pack and save? Yeah. No, if you just pop it in for something. You don't pop into pack and save. Why not?

It's too big. It's too big to pop into. You're running a marathon to get what? That's why they made that little space between the produce and the checkout.

I love that shortcut. It feels like you play Mario Kart and you found a shortcut. They're like, oh, I'm the chips now. They really gave into that shortcut though, eh? Yeah.

Like I feel that they, it was people like you. It was because people like you didn't want to pop in quickly. I don't want to pop in. Even now, with the shortcut, I don't think I'd pop in. I'd pop in to one of the smaller supermarkets. Unless you're going big and then you go pack and save.

I go big, baby, and then I go home. But I don't just pop in to pack and save. It's not a pop-in supermarket. It's too big. Too big for a pop-in. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There are eight things about your body that may mean you'll live longer. I'm a few of these.

But you guys are eliminated from some of these. Oh, great. Having a heart. Yeah. Tick. Not having COVID-19. Tick. Yeah, if you have a heart.

Having all of your organs. Tick, tick having COVID-19. Tick. Yeah, if you have a heart. Having all of your organs. Tick. Tick. What about your appendix? I don't want to live to 100, though. All these people that I want to live, like... No. Lucky for you, according to this list, you won't.

Good. I'm happy about this. For a good time, eh? Not a long time. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So the first one is that you look younger. So the study was done, this one specifically, on 187 pairs of twins.

And in the end, they noticed that the one who looked younger had a longer lifespan. Right. So they're supposed to be twins. Yeah. Not identical twins, like just ordinary twins. Just twins. You imagine being the twin and all of a sudden you look older. That's got to be some poor choices.

Just like being a twin and one's considered better looking. Or one just respected sunscreen and doesn't look all wrinkly when they're 40. Number two, you're a woman. We live longer than men by six to eight years. Vaughn and I instantly have... I know, I told you you'd instantly be. It's the prostate. Is it?

That thing's a time bomb. Isn't it testosterone? Yeah, the prostate. It's all linked. It's all linked, baby. It's all fun and games. Because if you have a lower testosterone, doesn't guys with lower testosterone live longer?

Live longer, yeah, I think so. Is that true? Yeah. You gave birth to your child after 33. The reason for this is they say that if your reproductive system ages slowly, so does the rest of your body. Oh, right. So you're saying if you gave birth to a child after 33.

Your reproductive system's going to age slower. You've got a younger... Uterus. Worm and uterus and all the bits and pieces. Yeah. Okay. Because is that the age that they've identified as when the fertility rates maybe start to drop off?

I thought it was 35, because after 35, yeah, it's called a geriatric pregnancy. Ouch. I know. Is it? I know. Ouch.

Your body mass index Is between 18.5 and 25 Then you'll live longer Yeah That's your ideal thing right? Am I? Yeah You don't have belly fat

Now The diagram they've given Is very fat No It's not You don't have any Like you don't have to have abs But like the more belly fat you have

The less Yeah The amount of years you're gonna live So you don't have any, like you don't have to have abs, but like the more belly fat you have, the less, the amount of years you're going to live. So you can still have like a little bit. It's very confronting after we've been locked in our house for four weeks, Megan. Because it's always like, you know, the real old people that are always on the news and they're like, Beryl, you've lived to 118. What are your thoughts? And she's like.

She's never fat, hey? Always like real skinny frail ones, which is another great reason to have a bit of belly fat, because who wants to be on the news being like Yeah, looking like you've just been dug up from King Toot's tomb in the

pyramids of Giza, you know Who wants to look like an ancient mummy on their birthday on the news And me If you're a good sleeper, you'll live longer like an ancient mummy on their birthday on the news. And me. If you're a good sleeper, you'll live longer. Yeah, okay. So if you get enough hours sleep,

not that you're just real good at falling asleep. Okay. You're right-handed. People who are right-handed seem to live longer. Well, it's because left-handed people

are the devil's servants, aren't they? It's evil. Are they? It's evil. They should be shamed, shunned, smacked, reprimanded. And

if you're a tall woman, tall women are more likely to reach the age of 90. Huh. What constitutes a tall woman? I don't know. They haven't actually given a specific height. Do you sneak in there with your heels? No, I just match everyone

else when I'm wearing heels. Otherwise I'm like a couple of heads below. If I was to guess, a tall woman would be 5'9", 5'10"? Right. I don't know. Average height of woman. 5'4".

Irene Van Dyke. Oh, she's going to lift to 1,000. Yeah. She's very tall. They did say that men's height was not associated with living longer. So if you're a tall dude, you're just a tall dude. Still got a prostate, don't you? And that thing's a time bomb. As you mentioned. I'm telling you, baby.

As you mentioned. That thing is a time bomb. My doctor told me that. Yeah. He's like, those things are time bombs. I was just like, well, this is a great chat. I was like, so you don't need to check it? He's like, no, no need.

It's a time bomb. Oh, my God. You need a different doctor. No, he gives it to you straight. Okay. Tells you to stop being a pussy. Oh, my God. He does it.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Homeschool. Homeschool. So we sent you homework. And you have 60 seconds to report back tomorrow on a subject of your choosing. We'll give you some options for subjects.

Playing this morning, first up, Robin, good morning. Morning, how's it going? Good. How's the level four lockdown been for you? Oh, you know, it's been a bit insane. Definitely lost my mind a few times. But glad to be back at work. Did you go for takeaways yesterday?

I did not. I drove past all the takeaway shops and decided I had better things to do with my newfound freedom. I know. Everywhere I went yesterday, the lines were out of control. Yeah, I drove past like six different places and there was no way. Wow. Didn't have enough petrol to sit idle for 45 minutes. Yeah, well, maybe today, maybe today.

Robin, we're going to each give you a topic. You can pick one of them. I'm going to start first with a topic. The history of New Zealand biscuits. Oh. Because I've eaten a lot of biscuits in lockdown, Robin. I'll give you my favourites. Squiggles, Hokey Pokey, obviously.

Love a Tim Tam. I love a white Tim Tam. That's controversial, I know, for people. That is. What's controversial about a white Tim Tam? I don't know, I just feel like... Picking the white Tim Tam over the traditional Tim Tam. Yeah, I just think people love all the different flavours, and I just love the white ones. Why limit yourself to one Tim Tam?

You can love all Tim Tams. Yeah, have three Tim Tams, one from each bag. And you know I love a Belgian biscuit as well. Anyway, Robin, that's an option. Vaughan, your subject? My subject is the origins of surfing in Hawaii. Okay. How did you come up with that?

I just typed into Google the origins of and the options were totalitarianism. Yeah. And that's a mouthful. Yeah. A modern rugby was surfing in Hawaii, and I was like, hey, Kaobunga dudes, hang ten, shakabra, surfing in Hawaii.

Okay, great. And Megan? Barbecues. Barbecues. Yeah. I couldn't think of anything, so I was just scrolling through Facebook, and I saw someone having a barbecue. Okay, Robin, which subject would you like to report back on tomorrow?

That depends. Can Megan be a little bit more specific about barbecue? The rise of the popularity of barbecues. All right, I think I'm going to go with barbecue just to throw some Robin, don't I love you, Robin Hey, it's open, you can take it Good luck with that tomorrow, Robin

60 seconds you'll have to report back tomorrow on the barbecues You love barbecues, Robin Iona, good morning Hello, good morning. Okay, now, so you have two subjects left. Yeah.

History of biscuits in New Zealand or... The origins of surfing in Hawaii. I know, they both suck. Barbecues is gone, sorry. Yeah, no, that wasn't what I was thinking, Megan, but that's okay. What were you thinking? Let us into your thought process, Iona. Okay, well, so in my

isolation bubble, I've got a friend who's actually English. She doesn't know a lot about New Zealand biscuits. She's not very good with biscuits. She didn't know what Belgian biscuits were. Oh, God, what's wrong with her? Oh, but did they call them something else over there? No, they don't.

I had to educate her. They just don't have them. Did she try one and then like it? Yeah, because I did some home baking. Oh, nice. Good, I've made some Belgian biscuits too. You put jelly crystals on the icing? Yes.

Absolutely. Good, okay. Well, it sounds like you're really into the biscuit thing. Oh, but I really would enjoy researching Hawaii, but look, we'll go with biscuits. I do love biscuits. You're going with biscuits. Yes, it's a good subject.

Nestle down into a biscuit. It sounds like you've already done a bit of research there with the Belgian biscuit. All right, well, Iona, you will have tomorrow 60 seconds to report back on the history of biscuits in New Zealand. Sounds great. And once again, Vaughan's subject is not picked. I'm okay with that.

I'm probably going to go back to Norman Kirk tomorrow or Rob Muldoon. Nobody wanted to pick Rob Muldoon. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Joining us on the phone soon, Hayley Sproul, the host of Have You Been Paying Attention? Vaughan, you're on the show tonight. Yeah. It's a web.oul, the host of Have You Been Paying Attention? Vaughan, you're on the show tonight. Yeah. It's a web. It's a web, Have You Been Paying Attention? Recording from

home. Okay. Yeah. You've been bumped by Rebel Wilson's dog show though, haven't you? Pooch Perfect. It's a great show. We found out this morning it's not even her effing dog. I know, it's not her. Russell, she's lying to us again. Now I don't want to end up sued, but that's not her dog.

That's super right. But yeah, we're on 8.30 tonight. Okay, so we'll chat to Hayley Sproul soon, head of that show tonight. There's a new beauty trend that has, I don't know if it's emerged or maybe everyone's just starting to talk about it more during isolation. And this has come from Australia,

but this particular tool that has been used in this article I've actually found in New Zealand. Okay. So it's dermaplaning. Now, dermaplaning is like an exfoliating thing, but people are using like a dermaplaning tool at home. It's basically to shave your face. Right.

Right fine hairs, right? Well, yeah. You call it peach fuzz. It's just like a little fuzz on your cheeks. A little fuzzy. It's that kind of fuzz. If someone was turned in the light, in the sunlight, you can just see it. Yeah.

Yeah. So I didn't know. It looks like a switchblade. Yeah. But it's just like a little razor-y. Now, you could also cut like your beard shape with that would be a switchblade. Yeah. But it's just like a little razor-y. Now, you could also cut, like, your beard shape with that would be a good thing to, like, get your lines there for you. That tool is a brow razor as well. So, I guess you can shape your brows.

Oh, I've been very careful. $14 at the warehouse. Yeah. Yeah, so you can fade your brows or your beard. So yeah, that exact one at the warehouses is the tool that they're talking about that everyone's been buying in Australia. There's lots of different ones. But yeah, it's a growing trend of girls shaving their peach fuzz. Which I didn't...

Sorry, that means a lot to me. On your face. You've talked about this before. Your mum used to call female parts a peachy. Yeah, the peachy. Sorry, I apologise for that. So why is this becoming a trend? Because normally you would go to a beauty place, a salon, to do this.

Yeah, maybe. But I, so I have a tool. It's not this one. But it's one of those things that you've been doing, like I've been doing for a while, but I just never really talk about it because it's, I don't know. Embarrassing? Yeah, but maybe.

Or because like I wasn't sure if anyone else was doing it. But it seems that everyone is. So the reason I did it, I saw it from a beauty blogger, Chloe Morello on Instagram. She was using this tool and she said that if you get rid of your peach fuzz, your foundation goes on better. So I was like, I'm going to try that, because the tool was like $9. And it's just, it looks like a lipstick, but it has like a little razor end,

and you just kind of like razor off the- So yours is battery powered? Yeah. Right. Like one of those things that takes lint balls off. Yeah, like that eats the lint balls. It's like that. What if that would work? powered. Yeah. Right. Like one of those things that takes lint balls off. Yeah. Like that eats the lint balls. It's like that. What if that would work?

Huh. Okay. I don't know what that would do. And so it's mainly on your cheeks, like where your sideburns go down into peach fuzz. Right. You might shave it off. Yeah. So you don't say shaving.

I know, but I guess essentially you are shaving your face. Yeah, you're dermaplaning. But yeah, it turns out that like lots of people have just turned to doing this at home. The problem is a lot of people have been giving themselves razor burn and like... Ah, right. If you're getting an actual dermaplaning thing, you probably shouldn't do that at home. As someone that blade shaves, I can't imagine why you wouldn't use a gel or a shave cream. Or an oil.

An oil. No, you shouldn't be doing the dermaplaning at home. You should just be using like a trimmer. But you're doing it at home. I know, but mine's a trimmer. It's not a blade. But people are doing it at home. This is the problem.

I know. Why can't you do it at home if you do it right? Because what if you're pushing too hard and people are getting like full face rash? Oh, right. Because you're taking off too much skin. Oh, because it's like an exfoliant, right? It takes the skin off too. Right.

It's like a deep exfoliant, a Dermoplane. Right, you'll get better at it. Well, yeah, and at least... But when you're like teenage boys have to start shaving and it's always like rashy and sore looking. But is it rashy and sore because you've got like coarser hair? I think it's because the first time you shave it, it does... Oh, my God, guys. We're having shave chat.

This is cute. I never thought this day would come. But you would get more used to it. Your skin would get used to it. Yeah. Wouldn't it? I think so. I don't know.

Can you recommend a good shaving gel for my face? I'd say if you were going that small, you wouldn't want a gel or a foam. You'd want an oil. No, but I, yeah. A shaving oil. I use the Asano that do the shave cream and shave gels. That's because it's natural stuff. It's real nice.

Because maybe for that blade thing, you'd use something. I don't know. But I wouldn't just clog the. I reckon if you were getting it done, they wouldn't use anything, right? I don't know. Well, just be careful. Well, I mean, at least if you've got a big skin rash on your face, you're still at home, so it's fine.

At home, like, treatments. Yep. Like, because I shaved my own beard. But another thing, because I go and get, when I get my back and ass area lasered, I also get my nose hairs waxed out. Yeah. And obviously that's been shut down.

So I had to like shut. I said the other day, you're starting to get some pokers. And that's where you're like, your nose hairs start poking out the end. I had to rip them all out myself. Can't you just get a little pair of scissors and go... Nah, because I don't know where our little scissors have gone. I've only got a big pair and I couldn't get them up my nose. So I just had to rip them out.

Man, that hurt. But you know. Hey, pain is beauty. Beauty is pain. That's the one I meant. Pain is beauty. Beauty is pain. You put the beauty first.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, it returns tonight to TVNZ2. Have you been paying attention? But not at its regular time of 7.30 because Rebel Wilson's dog show has bumped it to the 8.30 time slot. We welcome Hayley Sproul, the host. Good morning. Good morning.

We're so humbled to be pushed by a dog show, to be honest. You know what we discovered this morning? That's not even Rebel Wilson's dog. Isn't it? That dog that she's like. I'm not even sure she claimed it was. No, she has. I've watched all the episodes.

I love it. It's a great show. I can see why we were pushed. But she acts like it's her dog. It's not her dog. You know what? Television, it's all a lie, isn't it? It is.

My gosh. It is a complete lie. So disappointing. Now, tonight's show is all online with social distancing. It is indeed. Yeah, we're all in our living room. And we're using the classic Zoom to just play a game and hang out together.

Who's on tonight? Who had the best and worst internet connection? Honestly, okay, this is the crazy thing, right? Vaughn, we anticipated you being the worst internet person, right? Because you live in the farmland. And he goes on about his plight all the

time. It is. It's rural broadband in this country and needs a look at, but it turns out it's certainly not the worst. No. Do you know who it was? It was Tom Sainsbury beaming in from Ponsonby. Does he not have the internet?

Was he on Wi-Fi? Was he on 4G or something? Yeah, I think he was on dial-up. Who knows, honestly. Oh, goodness. Okay. He does well, though. He handles it well.

I had no idea Ponsonby was dealing with that. So shout out to you Ponsonby people. My heart really goes out to you. They're struggling. They're struggling with time. The sooner they get a 5G tower in the middle of Ponsonby, the better, aren't they? Oh, I think it'll look gorgeous. Yeah, they'll really dress it up, I reckon. Yes, I reckon put it in that giant

church steeple. There's those kind of old church steeples in Ponsonby that would look great with a 5G. Yeah, seriously though, have you guys ever seen a cell phone tower that's made to look like a palm tree?

I'm actually all for those. Oh! Have you? Yeah. I've seen them overseas. Like in America they've got them. Google it.

You can have a 5G or a 4G tower that looks like a palm tree. Cell phone tower that looks... I appreciate that effort. I'm all for it, yeah. Yeah, same. At first glance you're like, oh wait, it's not a tree. Cell phone tower that looks I appreciate that effort. I'm all for it, yeah. Yeah, same. At first glance, you're like huh, oh wait, it's not a

tree. Do they put other trees around or is it just a rogue? Oh, nice. Cell phone tower disguises is something I think everybody should Google today. There's one in a pine tree, there's a palm tree, there's a cactus. Wow. A cactus? Yeah. So I mean, I think

maybe that's, I don't know if we go for a remue, a nice cody maybe. Oh, yeah. Just as an option. A native would be nice. Yeah. And we could even put like a fake kiri do up there. Yes.

Oh, gorgeous. Those little things that poke out the side could all be large native birds, couldn't they? Yeah. There's a real business idea in this, guys. There is. We should keep it to ourselves. We really should.

We should. Don't tell anybody. Now, Hayley, I saw the preview and is this actually your lounge? Because first of all, you could give Fletch some tips on the plant life. Oh, yeah. Me and my partner live in a forest, honestly. That is my lounge. I appreciate it.

And those are all my belongings. And is that a bugle? It is a bugle. It's from World War I, and it was gifted to me by a man who lives in a cave now. So there's the story behind that bugle. Wow. And that's the truth, yeah. Was he trying to get you to live in the cave with him?

Was the bugle a sort of, I've got to shrink into of... No, he was an interesting character that my partner met in France and he heard that I was a musician and so gifted me this, I want to say family heirloom. And I've never met the guy, but he lives in a cave. How does he go to the toilet? In the cave. Oh, no, you don't toilet in your own cave. You don't toilet where you sleep.

No, you don't. You have a toilet, a mini cave. Yeah. That's why bears shit in the woods. It's because they leave their cave to go back to the woods. Maybe it's a big cave. I don't know. Again, I've never met him.

Now, when you accidentally, when an animal has an accident in the house, there's Febreze for the carpet. Is there a cave edition of Febreze, perhaps? Maybe there is. And maybe it's like with an animal, you rub in the house, there's Febreze for the carpet. Is there a cave edition of Febreze, perhaps? Maybe there is. And maybe it's like with an animal, you rub their nose in it and go, look where you've come.

All right, man in the cave, who gifted me this bugle? Well, we look forward to tonight's episode. Hayley Sproul, the host of Have You Been Paying Attention? 8.30 tonight on TVNZ2 with Averio and Vaughan Smith. And who's guesting tonight? We have Tom Sainsbury, Mel Bracewell, Paul Ego,

and Ursula and Vaughan are there as well. And guest quiz masters Joseph Parker. Oh, yeah. And ZM's own Brie Thomasel. Yes. Fantastic. All right, tonight, 8.30. Thank you so much, Hayley.

Hey, thanks, guys. Have a great day. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Join the little musical accompaniment. Yes, please. So I've got some news, and Vaughan has decided to get me a backing track. Why is it not loud? Wiggle your cord.

Wiggle your cord. No, it was turned right down. An app. We've talked about this before. Who keeps changing the volume in app on Spotify? Well, don't do that. No, you leave that at full blast and you make the device. Well, yes and no.

You should probably leave it at 80% because otherwise if you then go full blast on your system, it will distort it. Right, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Or go full noise on everything. Do what I want. Do what you want. It's your level.

But you messaged me the other day. You're like, wow, what do you think of this? What? I didn't know that. Excuse me. What? Why did you just message Vaughn? I messaged a few people, a few of my closest friends,

to run past the option. Ouch. Uh-oh. Ouch, ouch. She's crabby now. I took you shopping for Coachella outfits. Yeah, and a lot of good that did. Oh, what do we have here?

That's what he said. Oh, what do we have here? When was this? How long ago? The 25th. Four days ago. You told him three days before. How is this a break about my big news?

You've hijacked this for yourself because you've been... This is typical. Typical Megan. I've got some big news to share and you're jumping in and making it all about yourself. It's fine. I just needed to know who you really are. You can continue. You can continue.

Go. Say it. Just say it. I am... My big news is I'm pregnant. Thank you. I'm expecting a little kitten.

Oh my god, I need to do a gender reveal. It's so hard at the moment in COVID times. Yeah, no, you should do a gender reveal. But you already know the gender. I know, but you don't. The idea no, you should do a gender reveal. I should do a gender reveal. But you already know the gender. I know, but you don't. We don't.

The idea is that you don't know the gender. Do you know the gender? Because I do. Do you know the gender? Yeah. Oh, I'm just trying to get one up on you. Vaughn knows everything about this. Sister, please. Yeah.

I've been updating Vaughn with the photos. So I decided. Well, you're allergic. It isn't when you're sneezing. Yeah, and you don't like cats. You like dogs. I like that one. It's cute.

It is cute. So I've been sent some photos and I've got to wait a few weeks until it's old enough and then I'm just going to get in. What? This is a big decision. Like, why now?

A lot of people have speculated... I should have done this pre-lockdown because it was so boring. But you weren't to know that there was going to be a lockdown. I should have done this pre-lockdown because it was so boring. But you weren't to know that there was going to be a lockdown. I wasn't to know. That would have been irresponsible to rush a decision. These are lifelong decisions. They are.

And also because there's not going to be a lot of travel and going away for the foreseeable future. So there's going to be a lot of at home time. So I'm like, let's get it. And it's time. I've moved on from the last one. It's only taken 16 months to get over. R.O.P.

R.O.P. Kaz. A lot of people have speculated the reason that you've done this now. I just said the reason. No. Is it because you saw PJ get a kitten. She's been putting it on Instagram. I was talking to PJ.

I had a couple of FaceTimes with PJ, and I was like, okay, great idea getting a cat. And I was like, I need to get a cat. Because what kind of cat's she got? She's got a Burmese. Oh, right. And they're pretty cute. And I did look at Burmese as well, but I love British Shorthairs

because they're hilarious. They've got funny personalities. Yeah. And then I look at Burmese as well, but I love British short hairs because they're hilarious. They've got funny personalities. Yeah. And then I kind of said yes and signed up, and then I remembered all the stuff that got broken, my couch that's messed up. But it's all part of it. It's fun.

I'm excited. Have you got a new couch or is it the same shredded couch? Same couch, yeah. Oh, well, then you're sweet. Don't do new one. It doesn't matter, yeah. So I don't need to buy a cat scratching post. I'm going to reprimand this cat from an earlier age.

Like maybe stick to the rules. Fletch does not ever discipline his cat. Ever. Doesn't even say no. I'll be disciplined daddy from day one. Disciplined daddy. Wow. Well, that's another thing.

It's been locked down, so you haven't been able to be disciplined daddy to anybody else. Now, there is an issue. There is an issue. You've probably got a bit of pent up discipline ready to dish out. Wow. Wow. Okay. You've probably got a bit of pent-up discipline ready to dish out. Wow. Wow. Okay. You know my mum's listening.

She just messaged. Yes, she did. There is another issue. When Kaz died, I gave you a lot of Kaz's cat stuff, like the cat carrier. Now, do you still have that? You can't ask for that, man. What does the cat carrier look like? Was it a pinky grey cage thing?

No, it was grey. Did you check it out? We've got one. Yeah, but am I allowed to ask for that back? Now, there's a lot of stuff that got given away. There was a lot of stuff that got passed on to other people who had cats. You're going to have to ask them for the cat carrier back. The cat carrier seems like something I would have looked at

and been like, now that could be made into something else. I'll keep that for tinkering because I'm a little bit of a hoarder. So it's probably there somewhere. Okay, right. I'm going to have a look. Will you have a look? I'll send you the photo of the one I've got. I think it's yours.

Okay. Yeah, good. Because technically am I allowed to ask for that back? Because I did give it to you. I think I've still got one bucket of the cat crystals. So that was something I looked at. I was like, now I might need to soak up a spill one day. I'll get those back.

I'll definitely get those back. We'll see if I can find some cat crystals then. Are you going to share a picture? Or do we have to wait? We'll have to wait. Okay. It's going to be a bigger reveal. Okay.

Because I'm going to do a gender reveal. Okay, cool. I'm going to do that one where you shoot a balloon and it pops up. And then it gusts of wind takes it away before it's popped. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

No, I misspoke before. I must apologise. I misspoke. I said someone asked to be called this. No, this was someone who was called this in the bedroom by their boyfriend in the heat of the moment. He called her a dirty little tomato. And she had never felt so turned off by him. She took to Reddit to share this news.

She'd been called a dirty little tomato. No, it was just the heat of the moment. And he started the sentence and didn't know where it was going to end. Maybe she'd been out in the sun all day. Is she British? British people get very red. Yeah. No word on where she's from.

Right. And just in that moment, he was like, you dirty little tomato. I just looked up, he might have meant something else. Words that rhyme with tomato, potato. I'd prefer tomato. You dirty little unwashed agria. You filthy little covered in little nuggets of mud potato. Tornado.

You could have called it a tornado. That's quite a sexy weather event to be compared to, isn't it? No. Better than being compared to like a monsoon. Oh, you've... Cheese. But, you know, like if you were a sexual tornado, you would just get in there and mess things up.

Yeah, right. Destroy some homes. Maybe throw the lamp on the floor. Yeah. Stuff's just getting a cow. Somehow there's a cow. And there's a barn door. Yeah.

It goes flying through. Yeah, great, yeah. And Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt are chasing you in the 1990s tornado film. I love that movie. That's a great movie. I haven't given it a rewatch recently, but if you've never seen that classic, I'd give it a nudge.

I'd guess it hasn't stood the test of time, Vaughn. You reckon? I reckon it has. First movie I ever watched on the rich people next door had a surround sound. And we watched it on quite a big TV. Yeah, right. So probably 32 inches at the time.

And surround sound, I remember being absolutely terrified. There's a cow. There's another cow. That's the same one. Yeah. Because it's going round and around. We were chasing it. Good times.

That movie's great. So anyway, that would be better than being called a tomato, I'd imagine. But we wanted to know from you the most unusual things that you'd perhaps been called in the moment. Now, in defence of the male of the species, we're not really in control of our brain at that stage of events. You're saying it's kind of stuff comes out. Yeah.

Yeah, we've all said things. I would forgive most things as long as it wasn't someone else's name. You'd be like hold up. But if somebody had said to you you sexy little tomato, would you have to stop and just be like what are you talking about? I don't know. If it's got sexy and little in front of it, that's fine. Yeah. Really?

You're a vine ripened one of those little vine ripened. Oh what are those little ones called? Cherry tomatoes. Oh you sexy little cherry tomato. You could probably get away with most things. But if you were like. Sexy little in front of a. Yeah, yeah.

Sexy little cabbage. Yeah, but. Yeah, well, that's a Brussels sprout. Yeah, okay. Which, you know, they're in fire. God, I didn't. Yeah. Yeah.

And cute and little. You sexy little cube of feta. Just thinking about, because cherry tomatoes made me think of a salad. Or you may think of a Greek salad. A sexy little sliced olive. See, I'm down for all of these. What if they're food based? No, if you say sexy little. You wouldn't be

like your big dumpy bao bun. You probably wouldn't go for that. Your big doughy pork bao. Although yum. Now I want bao so much. Oh my god. So we want to take some calls and texts this morning What's the weirdest thing somebody has said to you in the bedroom? Obviously we want to keep it radio friendly

A woman has turned to the internet for advice After being called a sexy little tomato A dirty little tomato actually A dirty little tomato Yeah actually. A dirty little tomato. Yeah, odd. Different. Yeah. We're not kink shaming,

just different. We want to know from you the weirdest thing that somebody said to you in the bedroom this morning. Do you want our Instagram replies? Sure, yeah. Some of those in the mix.

I won't say names. Somebody said, one said, I want to cover you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado. That's a lot to get out there. That's a whole pre-prepared saying. My partner

during action screamed that's Christmassy. That's Christmassy? I love Christmas. So that's good for you? Scream it. That's Christmassy. I love Christmas. So that's good for you? But just scream it. That's Christmassy.

Like Mary? John, what did somebody say to you in the bedroom? I had somebody refer to me as a third person the entire time. Oh, what, like, does John like that? No, kind of. It was like, hmm, he likes that. He likes that. Oh, right, like, but in the third person.

Oh, like they were having an inner monologue out loud. Yeah. It was kind of like, I'm right here, buddy. Yeah. See, that's different. That's odd, isn't it? He likes that. Did it put you off?

Yep. Yep. All right. Yep. Fair enough. Okay, John. Thanks for your call, you sexy little tomato. See, he likes that.

Thanks, John. Some more text messages. I'm sorry, John. I can always tell when you're having to censor and read ahead. This is kind of, this would be a weird thing. Okay. This, I initially thought came in from a guy, it came in from a girl,

and somebody said to them in the boudoir, it has found its home. Right, okay. Weird, isn't it? I was once with someone who had... You can't live there. Who was not British, and then all of a sudden in a deep Cockney accent.

No, I don't know if I can read that out, but they said something very... Can we just put a warning and then read it out? Or is that real bad? What's Cockney? All right, mate. All right, all right, all right. Oh, lick it like a lolly

Well that mean it was a song, wasn't it? Yeah, okay Oh yeah, but not in a Cockney accent Jesus Okay, great Oh no, somebody said Something that was said to me once Was compared to the X Oh, okay In a good way or bad way? once was compared to the X.

Oh, okay. In a good way or bad way? No, no. The X did something better. Oh. Oh, absolutely not. Are they trying for that thing where they're trying to make them better?

Like by saying... Oh, like up your game because the X was better than the X? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when management says there's 100 people who would love your job. Like that sort of situation. I don't know if that would go down well in the bedroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when management says there's 100 people who would love your job. Like that sort of situation. I don't know if that would go down

well in the bedroom. Anyone can do your job. There's 100 other people that would like to be doing that right now. Come on. Really? 100?

No, I don't think so. Somebody said before when it was started getting down to business, he said, don't freak out on wearing women's underwear. I'm only doing it

because a friend dared me to. Yeah, right. If you're going to do it, own it. It's hotter. Yeah. Oh, is it? don't freak out I'm wearing women's underwear I'm only doing it because a friend dared me to yeah right if you're gonna do it own it it's hotter yeah oh is it yeah

if a guy's got confidence to do it and tell you about it then just own it but would you like a pre-warning or you wanna I don't know

get there I don't know interesting I don't want this to seem like it's the thing I'm into I'm just saying if you're gonna do it

really own it anything sexier with confidence. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. And somebody said drive it like you stole it. What a weird thing to say. They may be a fan of the Fast and Furious movies.

But also you can't steal a penis. They're attached. Can you? You can't steal a penis. They're attached. Can you? Can't steal a penis. What a weird, weird comparison. There's no examples within the room that anyone would like to share? No. Why'd you look at me?

I don't think I do. You just said that you wanted Mr. Toyboy to wear... Exactly, so she's been open and honest. I've got my sentence. You just said that you wanted Mr. Toyboy to wear. What does that mean? So she's been open and honest. I've got nothing to share. Nothing to share. What about you? My hands are sweaty. Yeah.

I bet they are. Heavy. All right, fact of the day is next. This is if I'm in on a sweater, mum's spaghetti. Vaughn's just stoked if he gets there. Oh, yeah, I'm lost for words right now and when it happens. All right, fact of the day is next. Thank you.

I say thank you a lot. I cry, but that's mostly silently. Flesh, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the twitch fibres in your muscles. Okay. Is that like when you're going to sleep and you go,

do those sleep twitches? I do that sometimes. They're related to that, but that's not what it is. Oh, okay. Twitch fibers are like how quickly your muscles react to things. So there's slow twitch fibers and there's fast twitch fibers. And if you've got the faster ones, it's like, I just slept bang at the physio therapy and I'm glazing over.

Yeah, okay. Oh, do your stretches. And then when you go back the next week and they're like why is this no better? Did you do your stretches? No, it gets better

and you stop doing them straight away. It's like a dentist. You freak out and you brush your teeth and you floss and I mean you brush your teeth. They know.

No, but I love it when it goes back and it's a little bit better and they're like you've been doing your exercises and you're like yeah. Yeah, they know you haven't. I have.

So slow twitch fib fiber produce 10 to 30 contractions a second fast twitch fibers produce 30 to 70 contractions per second so you feel like you've just gone like that and gripped and you're holding it but inside the twitch fibers are like a per second like 70 contractions per second which is quite a lot. They actually produce a sound and you can hear this. Huh. Do you have... So it needs to be quiet. Now it's something everybody can do now.

It can be a quiet... It can be a quiet thing, but you clench your fist as hard as you can. I'm not messing with you. It's one of those stupid things and I do it and then you laugh. I'm not messing. And then porn comes on. That's what I always it and then you laugh. I'm not messing. And then porn comes on. It's like, how is... Turn the volume up.

Wow. Wow. So you've got to be pretty quiet. I don't know if it's going to... Am I squeezing my fist? Our microphones won't pick them up, but your ears are sensitive enough that you do it. You squeeze your fist as tight as you can

and on that tight bit of your muscle just under your thumb, put that up against your ear, right up against. You squeeze your fist as tight as you can. And on that tight bit of your muscle, just under your thumb, put that up against your ear, right up against your ear and squeeze it as tight as you can. And you should be able to hear a very low rumble that you couldn't hear when your hand was on the side. I can't squeeze my fist because I've got long nails. And that digs into me. Okay, another way of doing it is, you know,

when you're in a plane and you're going up and your ears pop, but you can preempt it by going and like popping that inner, using that muscle to equalize. So that muscle, if you can manually disengage that, that's actually engaging that muscle when you pop your ears. If you can hold that, can you hear like a rumble? Yeah. That's that.

That's you hearing that muscle fiber. I've always wondered what that rumble is. It's that. That's you hearing that muscle fibre. I've always wondered what that rumble is. It's that. Because sometimes when I don't want to hear something, I'll do that rumble in my ears. You can make it really loud, eh? Yeah. It's like a...

So it's not... You can't be breathing in or out because then you're hearing the air passing through. That's not what you want. But you've got to be... If you can go... I can only hear the... Can you make the rumble noise?

I can only hear the ocean. Am I doing that right? Can everyone make the rumble noise? I've always wondered that. No, because some people can't equalize. Some people can grab their eyes and give it a bit of a... And blow into it. Can't they?

And that's how they do it. But some other people can just go and click something. It's very hard to's how they do it. But some other people can just go and like click something. I can't. It's very hard to explain how it's done. I'm so glad we've spoken about the rumble noise in your ears today. That rumble is the contractions of the fast twitch fibers producing a rumble that you can hear because it's movement. Wow. So today's fact of the day is that your muscles make a rumbly

sound. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yay. Because it was such a massive day for ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Because it was such a massive day for takeaways yesterday and we need to hear actual stats, stat chat this morning.

Simon Kenny, who is the head of communications for McDonald's New Zealand, joins us on the show this morning. Good morning, Simon. Good morning, guys. Now, big day yesterday, Simon. Big day. Big day.

It was. Is that an understatement? Were you, like, crazy busy? Yeah. I mean, you guys saw there was queues of, like, 50-plus cars and lots of drive-throughs at 5 in the morning around the country, and then it was pretty much like that most of the day. I saw lots of drone footage of car drive-throughs

with cars snaking around the roads. We had to get traffic management and the councils and the police helped us out because some of the restaurants are on pretty main roads, so you have to make sure that everyone's safe. I actually just sent a drone down to pick up my food. I wasn't going anywhere near it. Had a little note attached. Now, so when do you know, like, what was sold yesterday?

When do you find all that out? Oh, the boffins are still, it normally comes through later in the morning, but I got one of our guys to have a look first thing this morning, and he's done some estimates. He reckons we sold over 300,000 burgers yesterday, probably 30,000 cups of coffee. Yeah, so it was pretty busy.

Pretty busy for a Tuesday anyway. 300, now that's all burgers or just one type of burger? All burgers? All burgers. Cheeseburgers and Big Macs would have been the biggest sellers. And like you probably see, you can buy burgers at breakfast time these days at McDonald's. The old 10.30 changeover doesn't exist anymore

so people were definitely coming in and I mean people were buying B&E McMuffins and stuff as well but yeah it was definitely burgers for breakfast by the looks of it. 300, just on the quick maths, 300,000 divided by 5 million, the current New Zealand population equals times 100 gives us

6%. So there's 6% of New Zealanders yesterday had at least one burger. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we normally serve about 1.6 million people a week in a normal week. So, yeah, a lot of people will have Maccas in any given month. But, yeah, yesterday was definitely a lot. It sounds like things have calmed down a little bit more today,

which is good because everyone had to be pretty patient yesterday with the queues and everything like that. But yeah, it was definitely some level three sort of party and getting people to Macca's fix sausage yesterday. Simon, serious question. When can we

get a McFlurry again? Oh, yeah, good question. Shakes and Sundays, we were, you Sundays, we have amazing suppliers, but when you serve that many people, giving them a week's notice that we're going to reopen is pretty hard work. So, yeah, the Shake and Sunday mix, I think, starts arriving today or tomorrow. So restaurants should start doing Shakes and Sundays. And we also, even like everyone always makes a joke about the machines being broken.

No, we don't. The machines were generally switched off, but like the frozen Coke machine, you need a technician to come in and recalibrate that and switch it back on. And there's only so many of those technicians in New Zealand, so you have them running around the country trying to get all the machines turned on.

So, yeah, there's a big mission in the background when you switch the golden arches back on, that's for sure. Wow. Do people ask you quite a lot if you get free McDonald's because you work for them? Oh, honestly, yeah. Like at barbecues and stuff, that's the first question I get asked. I've got a nine-year-old and all his friends,

they can't quite work out that I don't do fries or make burgers. But, yeah, you either get free food or you get all of those urban myths and stuff is what you get asked. Well, Simon, thanks so much for bringing the food to New Zealand. And we look forward to some more stats when you get them through this morning too, because wow, 300,000 burgers. Wow, wow, wow.

Insane stuff. All right, thank you, Simon. From Maccas, coming. Insane stuff. All right. Thank you, Simon from Macca's. Coming up on the show. What to do. You're thinking about the McFlurries. I like how he preempted that. That was very good because, you know,

if you're the head of communications for McDonald's, he preempted that broken McFlurry machine question. Yeah, and it did sound Yeah, and it did sound like he'd heard us say the joke several times. He's heard everybody say it. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is a, I'm trying to figure out what her title is. She is a consultant psychologist, and she runs the Chelsea Psychology Clinic. Now, she has said that during lockdown,

maybe texting your ex is not a good idea. Or at least if you're thinking about it, here's some things to think about beforehand. Before you get in contact with your ex. Because everyone's got a lot of time on their hands, might be a little bit lonely, doing a lot of thinking,

and the ex pops up in your mind. Now, she said, think about the pros and cons of messaging them and think about what you want actually out of it. Do you want to actually get back together? Because depending on how it broke up, that could be the message that you're sending. It could be the wrong message to send.

Be aware of rose-tinted glasses. So you're going to sit there in lockdown and you're probably thinking about all the good times. Yeah. While your partner's annoying the hell out of you. Or not, if you have one. I was thinking they were single. You're thinking they've got a new partner.

Yeah, and they're thinking back on their good times. Yeah. But then that's the thing. It's always nostalgia, isn't it? Yeah. Remember you broke up for a reason. Yeah. Well, that's another one.

Remind yourself why they're your ex. Sit there and think about maybe the times that they annoyed the hell out of you. Yeah. And if you weren't the one that did the breakup, think about what happened when they broke up with you maybe. Take quarantine out of the situation. So if we weren't in a global pandemic and you weren't locked down,

would you still be having these feelings of loneliness? And would you still be thinking about them? Yeah, right. Focus on what sort of relationship you want to have in the future. And text a friend instead. Or just completely delete their number and block them on everything. I kind of thought that when the breakup happens, you're just supposed to delete them.

Oh, but you just find them on Instagram, right? I guess so, yeah. Because even if you block them, you can just unblock them. How do you just delete someone out of your life? Social media is such a... Maybe there's a service for that. Like you pay, I don't know, and then like literally... Or like an app where you're like,

hide this person socially from me. Forever. Yeah. But then if you delete them off all social media, that would pretty much do that. But then there's the tag photos. That would be weird getting the memories. Getting the memories being like, eight years ago you were, and it was like maybe at the start of your relationship,

they might get you a bit. But if you unfollow and like block them on social media, you can still go and look at them. You can still go to their account or you just unblock them. Right. I'm saying you need someone else to completely hide them from you. I wonder how much that would have happened, people reaching out to their exes in lockdown.

So much. So much. Especially if you're like single or not. Or in a crappy relationship. What do you have to do? I don't know. Just get them to make you feel good again. Unless you wanted to bring them into your bubble. Unless you wanted to bring them into your bubble.

No, don't bring them into your bubble. Because then it'll all go bad again and they'll have to leave your bubble. And then you've wasted your add-on with them. Oh, you're talking about adding to the level three bubble? Yeah. Oh, no. Don't waste your bubble add-on on your ex. No.

That's a weird sentence. That's a good one. I wouldn't have made any sense at all last year, but it rings very true now. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.