ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 7th 2020

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

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ZM. Head music. Lives here. Flesh, Fauna, Megan. The podcast. Yay, only a short week. Yay. Yay. So we can chill out for the rest of the week. Sure. Yeah. You mean when it gets to Friday, chill out?

Yeah. Well, I mean, my eye is just saying it ironically, really, because... You've been doing a lot of chilling out. We've all been... Chilling out. ...on a long weekend anyway, really, most of us, haven't we? Yeah. Yeah.

With a little bit of work. A little bit. A little bit of work. Yeah. But normally we'd be getting excited about this long Easter weekend, but... Yeah. Well, we can still get excited. We can still get excited.

Because Thursday morning, eight o'clock, we are attempting the first long weekend group to driveway edition. Yes. This will be interesting because a lot of people sleeping in.

Yes. During isolation. Eight o'clock, you don't want to waste the day. So get out of bed, drive the car into the driveway and long weekend group toot and see

if any of the neighbours toot back and or swear at you. Will you? Hopefully not swear at you. We've asked you not to participate if you have neighbours that work in emergency services or shift work. Yeah, they don't need to be woken up at 8 o'clock. They'll probably just

crawl into the nice warm bed after a bit of shift work. You've not seen the technical department about getting that mouse cord any longer? Just see you giving that a little tug. That'll be enough for today. Tug it out a little bit. Like a foot.

That's a foot. A foot of mouse cord. That's more than a foot. That's a foot and a half. That's deep. Someone keeps pushing it back in. I don't know who that is, but okay. We can work it out.

I think we're the only people in this studio at the moment, so it's me. I must have pushed it back when we were cleaning the desk yesterday. Yes. The post-show clean. All right. The top six coming up on the show. Yes. Simon Bridges, when everybody else Zoom meetinged in,

decided to Zoom, actual Zoom, from Tauranga to Wellington and back for a meeting during this time where you should not be partaking in anything. Oh, Simon. Any journey of that length, truck drivers should be the only people driving that many kilometres. But he went there and back to Zoom into a meeting. That's right.

When he got there, he joined the meeting on Zoom anyway. Did they not have the internet in Tauranga? He said it's not very good where he is. Please. Bullshit. Bullshit. I can Zoom. I'm on rural broadband.

Zoom's designed. You can Zoom fine. Yeah, Zoom's designed to use. Not much. That is not true. But the top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington and back again without coming in contact with anybody. Where's Vaughan?

Making coffee. I may have given him the task of making me a cup of tea too. I apologise to the nation. Megan, you know he can't do two things at once. You know that's impossible. It's just chuck a teabag in water and like a whoopsie of milk. It's not a big, clearly it was a big task. It was.

Oh, here it comes. Glacial paces always. Nothing can make that man walk faster. You can't run while carrying a full cuppa. Thank you. I really appreciate my tea. If he needs to blame here, it's my charitable nature. He was big and said, ooh, tupper tea.

And it always makes me, I used to make her tupper tea because she's like... Now, it's come to light. I've had a finger race. It's come to light that, well, we've got to move on, otherwise we'll be here forever. We've got to get home and stay in my house. A mountain biker, it's come to light yesterday that on Sunday,

a mountain biker had to be rescued in Wellington by the rescue chopper. Yeah. They said, oh. So, yeah, apparently he'd come off and fell down a hill 200 metres. Well, that's the risk of mountain biking, baby. By the wind turbines. So it had come into some trouble there. And, of course, we've been told.

Don't go doing silly things where you might need to call emergency services. Exactly. And was it Tramper? Yes, because that's the one I heard of. But this was the SAR. The SAR came together. Not SARS. You don't want that rear in its head at the moment.

Search and Rescue? Yes. Search and Rescue in Northland were caught out because a man got in trouble when he was walking in the bush near Whangarei. Now, that was another thing

that shouldn't have happened and shouldn't have put people at the risk of exposure. Right. Even though I'm not saying this guy had coronavirus, but that's the thing you don't really know, do you?

That's why we're doing this whole self-isolation thing. Yeah. Oh, I'd hate to be made an example of. Could you just, you're just do you? That's why we're doing this whole self-isolation thing. Yeah. Oh, I'd hate to be made an example of. You're just sitting in the chopper and you're just like a naughty schoolboy that you know you've done something real bad.

Honestly, I would have been down that hill off my bike with my injuries sitting there thinking... I'll just die. We're going to try and crawl back up rather than call them. I'm going to put some bracken on top of my mountain bike. I'll come back for that later. I'm just going to drag my broken legs out of the F out of here. So according to the fitness app Strava,

which is this app that people are using that's knocking on everyone, yeah, loads of riders were in those same trails over the weekend. Yeah. So people are just like, G-A-F. Hmm. But it's hard because you do want to get out and get some exercise, but yeah, keep it local. Yeah, but you can get out and get some exercise

and just like go around and run your block. Some people are going up and down their stairs overseas. We're lucky that we're allowed to even go outside. Yeah. Just don't do mountain biking and don't go for long bushwalks. All right? You've been told. You've been told.

All right? There's a lot of fear at the moment, a lot of anxiety. It's a very stressful time, and it's making Kiwis a little bit more vulnerable to cybercrime. Do you know that in, what was last year? 2019. Oh god. In 2019, 59% of New Zealanders fell

victim to some sort of cybercrime. 59%. That's over half of Kiwis. So that could be like someone gets your credit card. Yeah. Or clicking on an email. Yeah, right, okay. Like those emails, they're like, oh, you've just got to update this, or something, you click on it, it looks like the actual website.

Yeah. And you're like about to put in your details, and you're like, hang on a second. Oopsie daisy. So Norton, you know Norton, the anti- Virus, yep, people, yep. The cyber security people. Not the suburb of Hamilton.

No. The sketchy suburb of Hamilton. And not the guy who hears a who. That's Horton. Oh, is it? It's not Norton hears a noo, it's Horton hears a who. Norton nears a noo. Don't go too near that Norton noo.

Or nor that neary Norton. Very close though, Megan, very close. I thought it was real clever. Newey Norton. Yeah, very close though, Megan. Very close. You didn't know. No. So Norton, the cyber security company, have said that at the moment Kiwis are being targeted by a new scam. Okay.

So some people are getting emails because everyone's either at home or working from home. People are getting emails that claim to be who? The World Health Organization or the doctor, someone of authority. They've said things like we're trying to get you. There could be someone in your neighborhood that has COVID-19 or something about a testing station coming. And so what they're trying to get people to do is click the information and when you do, they're going to grab personal information in the background.

Ooh, okay, right. So I don't think who is emailing people. Yeah, people are scared at the moment. So, you know, if they're not that onto it, they're going to be like, I better fill out all this stuff. They must need it. Yeah. To be honest, though, if you've got an email and it's like,

someone in your neighbourhood might have coronavirus, and if it's claiming to be from a medical professional, I'd be like, oh, okay. I probably wouldn't think too much about it. Learn more. Yeah, exactly. Learn more. Yeah. So that's, please be aware. Don't do that, because they're grabbing people's personal information. Well, yeah, nobody's asking for

personal details, are they? No. In an email submission? Not in an email. No. No. Be aware. Yeah, right. Well, there's breaking news as well. Just out that the health minister has been demoted. After his whoopsie? Has he been demoted?

PM demotes him. This is a newsflash. PM has demoted him. He apparently in the, let me just read this, health minister David Clark drove his family 20km to a beach to go for a walk in the first weekend of lockdown. So this was before the mountain biking incident. This was before the mountain.

So he's obviously had to come out and come clean on all activities. 20km, that's quite far, right? Oh, silly. Yeah, but it was that weird that first week when we knew it was lockdown, but there was still real how far are you allowed to go? Because we thought we'd be allowed to go to the beach. Yeah, initially it felt like they said you could go to the beach. I'm not talking like a busy beach like Muriwai, West Coast.

You can drive along it. Sometimes you don't see people for kilometres and kilometres. No, apparently not. This is what David Clark said. At a time when we've been asking New Zealanders to make historic sacrifices, I've let the team down. I've been an idiot, and I understand why people will be angry with me. Jacinda, so apparently she has demoted him to the bottom of the cabinet rankings.

What's that, like the Minister of Brooms? Yeah, the Minister of Cleaning Up When Everyone Leaves. The Minister of, yeah. The Minister of Taking the Rubbish Out. She said, under normal conditions, I would sack the Minister of Health when what he did was wrong and there are no excuses, she said in a statement. But right now, my priority is our collective fight

against COVID-19. We cannot afford massive disruption in our health sector or to our response for that reason. And that reason alone, he will maintain in his role. But he will pay a price for breaking the rules. We have been told, David. You have been told. Wasn't there a report yesterday where everyone's like,

he still hasn't publicly apologised? That's because obviously all of that was coming down. That was coming, yeah. He was getting telling off. All right, we've got the top six next, and it's not just Labour, well, Health Minister David Clark, Simon Rogers was in the news yesterday for being naughty. Being demoted for driving 20km,

how about the hundreds of kilometres that Simon Bridges drove to get to Wellington for a meeting and then turned around and drove him back to Tauranga? Interesting. The top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington and back without coming in contact with anyone else. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top 6.

Hello there. The Top 6 today dealing with Simon Bridges. I've just done the maths. Tauranga to Wellington right now via State Highway 1, quickest way, 6 hours 47 one way and 523 kilometres one way. So 1,000, let's say 1,050. It's a long way. You're going to need a way. You're going to have to stop

for a wheeze somewhere. Oh, you'd have to stop for a wheeze. Unless you wore the nappies. Remember that astronaut that lost the plot and drove across country and she wore a nappy? So she's now to stop. She just did wee-wees. Well, yeah, 6 hours, 47 in a car, so just under seven hours, 14 hours.

Right. At a time when we're all being told not to drive long distances. Non-essential travel. Like the health minister who's just had to step down or be demoted. Simon Bridges is chairing the Epidemic Response Committee, and that meets Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Now, everybody else is doing the meeting via Zoom, so that means even when he gets to

Wellington, he's just tapping into a Zoom meeting. But he's working out of Parliament and then at the end of the week, he drives himself back to Tauranga and then drives himself back down on Tuesday. He's penetrating some bubbles there. I'd take offence if I was his wife and family. Yeah. I'd be like, you would rather drive 14 hours a week.

Yeah. And stay away from us. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Yeah. Than just do the meeting on the internet at home. Okay. Maybe you can't. Message received loud and clear.

Do the Zoom meetings in the spare room slash office. Because the kids will be like, what's for dinner? Let's do a jigsaw. People would be. I don't know how old his kids are. Let's do a jigsaw. I don't know how old his kids are. Let's do a jigsaw. What are they, children in the 1950s? Father, father, the war is over. Shall we do a jigsaw?

Didn't you just do a jigsaw? Yeah, but our kids had no interest in it whatsoever. Actually, do you know what? Yesterday we finished our was jig. Yeah. Was gidge. Been told off. It's not was jig.

Was gidge. And August demanded told off. It's not Woz jig. Yeah. Woz gidge. And August demanded to put the last piece in. Oh. She can't come in at the last minute. I said to Shada, she sat down for like the last 15 minutes and she was actually like not bad at it. But then I said to Shada, here you go, last piece, you put it in.

And August was like, I'll put it in. Click. Put it in. We were just like, wow. She is going to be so much trouble. Savage. Thief of glory. Yeah. glory is what we have there. But with Simon Bridges driving to,

I don't know if he's going to continue doing this or this sort of public shaming has been enough to make him just stay at home with his family, who he loves. The top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington without coming in contact with anyone else, because, as you say, you need to stop and do the wee-wees. Yep. You need to get fuel. There's going to be a snack, too. Oh, you need to stop and do the wee-wees. Yep. You need to get fuel. There's going to be a snack too.

Oh, you'd need road trip lollies. Got him. You threw some lollies. Yeah. So the top six ways to get from Toa Ranga to Wellington without coming in contact

with anyone else. Number six, tunnels. Okay. You'll have to dig your own tunnels. It'll take a little bit of a while. Oh, yeah. Okay. But get a tunnel under there.

Sure. One way. I mean, I can't see what's wrong. Straight line, you go underneath Rotorua, Taupo, like no problems. Absolutely no geothermal activity to contend with there. Number five on the list of the top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington without coming in contact with anyone else. Hiring a shipping container to live in.

Yeah. And having it shipped via rail. Yeah, right. And you just, what, lock yourself in? Yeah. Well, you've got container to live in and having it shipped via rail. Yeah, right. And you just, what, lock yourself in? Yeah. Well, you've got everything you need in there. Yeah, right. You probably have some sketchy 4G in some parts of the journey.

You're not going to get corona from anyone because you're locked in. It's not a great time to make it chic, though. You know, like... No, you can't get to... Homeware stores aren't open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can't get, like, a nice fold-out couch slash bed for the journey.

Number four on the list of the ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington and back again without coming in contact with anyone else, Zorb. Zorb all the way. Yes. So you get in and you just run on your little hamster wheel, but you've got a little bit of a cover there. Yep. And then you get out in time for your Zoom meeting and you're like.

Yeah, rolling. Well, it'd be good on the hills. You just... Slide, yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington and back again with no contact with any other humans. Hot air balloon. Oh, yeah, okay.

A little unpredictable, though. Yeah. You've kind of got to go wherever the wind wants. Yeah. Whether you get to Wellington, good luck landing in that. You'd just be best to just deflate it and just take your crash landing. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington and back again without seeing any other people, submarine.

You have to go out and around the... Yeah, but it's doable. It could take a little while, but totally doable. We'll have... And there are those rumours about those submarines, A, in World War II. Oh, yeah. That stopped and grabbed a sheep or two for Eden.

The Germans that came on the land and, yeah. It's a rumour. It's an absolute rumour, yeah. Could have happened. And number one on the list of the top six ways to get from Tauranga to Wellington and back again without coming in contact with anyone else. Those, you know, those big-ass hawk eagle things that we shot

and had stuffed and they're hanging in the Wellington airport? Yeah. Probably just, there's probably still some of them around, right? Sure, yeah. Capture them and ride them to Wellington like Frodo and Gandalf did to get home at the end of the Lord of the Rings. Not going to come in contact with anyone else, are you? Not going to need a driver.

No. And then like the Germans stopping for a sheep on the way, you'd probably stop for a sheep on the way. But again, high back country, you don't need to come in contact with anybody apart from the sheep. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. The Queen, she did a speech yesterday,

and I didn't say too much. It went down a treat, though, didn't it? The UK people saying. It was just what was needed, a bit of, you know, rousing moral support. Yeah. And encouragement. We saw it on the news, and my daughter said she looks like Great Nan, which is my grandmother.

Oh, yeah. And I said, oh, what makes her look like Great Nan? They've got the same hair. I was like, oh, yeah makes her look like Great Nan? They've got the same hair. I was like, oh yeah, what else? They're both white. White and old with the same hair. I was like, I bet Nan would take that. So she's 93.

So it's her birthday on April 21st. Isn't that insane? She still rides her horses. And even just her speaking yesterday, I was like, still with it. You know what it is? It's breakfast gin and tonics. Yes. It's preserved on it. It, still rides it. And even just her speaking yesterday, I was like, still with it. Yeah. You know what it is? It's breakfast gin and tonics. Yes. It's preserved.

It's picked like it. When we've got a couple of weeks off next week from Thursday, I might start the breakfast gin and tonic. Yes. Because if you put some fruit in it, is that breakfast? I think so. Well, juniper berries are... You want to start your day with berries.

Don't they make it from juniper berries? I think they do, yeah. But I know she drinks throughout the day as well. You can't just hit it at breakfast and then hit it and quit it.

But she doesn't get, like, she's not OTP. It's very staggered. Yeah. It's very paced. It's four cocktails a day. Oh, is it? It's a mid-morning

glass of gin. Okay. And Dubonnet. So what is she, she doesn't have a breakfast drink at all? Not even a mimosa?ning glass of gin. Okay. And Dubonnet. So what is she? She doesn't have a breakfast drink at all. Not even a mimosa? No, she's doing fasting. She's doing intermittent fasting.

So that is... For a second I was like, oh my God, is she? She starts the day with a cocktail. So she breaks the fast with a cocktail, glass of wine at lunch, then a dry martini and a glass of champagne before bed. So that's how you've got to stagger it. Brilliant.

That is actually so smart, what she's done there. Because the shampers always makes me tired. Hit it before you go to bed and then you're like, you need something to put up with Prince Philip, wouldn't you? Yeah. And Boris. Everybody in England. She's actually given a special message to New Zealand.

Yeah, and we're all like, yeah, but I don't want to be the bad guy. It's a letter. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure every Commonwealth country got one. Yeah, but she took the time to do it. Yeah, she took the time. It's her job. Somebody took the time. Somebody took the time. To change the messages to do it. Yeah, she took the time. It's her job. Somebody took the time. Somebody took the time.

To change the messages for each country. Yeah, it's better than, you know, when you get like an email from someone asking a favour, but they've left the last radio station that they copy and pasted in there. Or like, they're like, hello, New Zealand. I hope the koalas are doing okay. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, hmm, okay.

I love you, New Zealand. Australia. Right. And her personal message, she's told us to be strong, be brave, be steadfast in the face of the coronavirus pandemic. Thanks, Queen. Okay. We will.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Boss Babes Season 2. It is back on TVNZ On Demand and joining us on the phone now, one of the Boss Babes, Ealu. Good morning. Hi. good morning. How's isolation going for you? It's funny because it's actually not that much different

to my normal life. I love that, yeah, people that are used to, like, locking themselves in their house and being introverted are like, this is, I'm loving this. Well, no, because Eilu's got a baby now. She's got a little summer. Congratulations. Congrats.

Thank you. So, yeah, I mean, I'm home anyway, so at least now. She's got a little summer. Congratulations. Thank you. So, yeah, I mean, I'm home anyway. So at least now I've got my partner at home. But, yeah. How old is – how long have you been a mum now? How old is your wee one? So I'm 10 weeks in. Okay.

Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Yep. So the new season, are we just seeing the build-up to that? Yeah, so at the end of the last season, I kind of announced I was pregnant. And so basically we've just been filming the pregnancy and how I'm going after the birth.

So did the birth, is that going to be any part of that shown on the season? No, so we didn't film the actual birth, but, yeah, just basically afterwards. Imagine ringing the camera crew and being like, okay, I'm having contractions. Oh, no, that'd be, yeah. Come over. I know, exactly. So we were actually planning on it.

I actually put a GoPro in there, but, yeah, we didn't end up doing it. Everyone's got their best of intentions. They'll take photos, we'll do this, do that, and then at the time you're just like running around screaming, get that GoPro out of my face! What was different though because you're very open and you had a Brazilian butt lift and you let people film like quite a lot of that, what was the? Yeah, I mean I was open to filming the birth but then the birth didn't actually even go according to plan,

so the film crew wouldn't have been allowed in at the end anyway. So, yeah, it was actually a good call. Yeah. Something I've wondered, and you got a BBL, and then how long after that did you get pregnant? Because I was like, oh, my God, you went to all that effort and that pain and suffering, and then afterwards you get pregnant? Because I was like, oh, my God, you went all that effort and that pain and suffering. And then afterwards you were pregnant.

I know. Yes, it was about three months after I found out I was pregnant. But surprisingly, it's retained. Yes. Okay. So it was worth it. That speaks volumes to the quality of the butler. So it's not only you, it's Edna as well on the show,

and Edna's had a big life moment. She's engaged, right? Yes, so she got engaged too. So this is two life moments, birth and engagement. And how much of that is included in season two? I mean, we started filming not long after season one came out. So it was kind of just the engagement and leading up, I guess, to wedding planning.

Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm so invested. And what have you got on the go at the moment, like business-wise? Like what are we going to see on the show from you this season? Well, I was trying to start a new business, and then now, obviously, with all this virus stuff going on,

it really got put to a halt. And same with Edna. Like, we were both in the same boat. But, yeah, so we've seen a little bit of that, but it hasn't progressed too far. Well, I'm very much looking forward to seeing season two. Lucky it got all shot and done and dusted before lockdown. I know.

We actually had about five or six film days left. We were meant to be flying out to Vegas in about a week. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, so all of that got cancelled. But, yeah, I'm sure they've pulled together something good anyway. Awesome. Yeah, wow. Okay, well, you can catch up with last season something good anyway. Awesome. Yeah, wow.

Okay, well, you can catch up with last season as well, TVNZ On Demand. Yeah, and season two drops today. Ealu, thank you so much. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Home School! It's time for Home School. We're going to give out our assignments to our students,

and they must report back tomorrow on their chosen topic with a 60 second presentation for us, the nation. And haven't we been learning? Oh, we have. We've learned so much. The learning hasn't stopped. Joining us this morning, first up is Georgia.

Good morning, Georgia. Hi. Hi. Oh, you're very excited. Are you locked up at the moment or do you get to escape? No, I am locked up inside for four weeks. Okay. How have you been handling that? Nearly two weeks in? I think I am already crazy.

Yeah. So, like, you know, being cooped up is not fun, but I'm getting there. It's true. Okay. All right. Well, let's give you some not fun, but I'm getting there. It's true. Okay. All right. Well, let's give you some homework and take your mind off of this. We're each going to give you a subject, an option for a subject. You've got to pick one.

Megan, have you decided on your subject? I literally scrolled through my Facebook feed. I tried one random page on Wikipedia and I couldn't find anything. Very confusing. So I've settled today. My topic, Georgia, is eyeliner. Eyeliner. Oh, God.

Oh, okay. Did you see a makeup tutorial? Yeah, I did. Of course. Georgia, my topic and an option for you is on high-rise construction cranes and how they get the crane off the top of the building when they're finished building it. Okay.

That's interesting. Because have you ever wondered? I have. There's a crane on top of the building. It's 50 stories high. How do they get the crane down? They've finished the building. I know.

Do they get another crane? I know, but then how do you get rid of that crane? I don't know. If that was the case, they'd be the biggest crane in the world. How do you deconstruct them? Helicopters. I don't know. If that was the case, they'd be the biggest crane in the world. Who'd deconstruct them? Helicopters. I don't want to spoil it. This is why it's a great subject for homeschool.

If you choose it. And my subject that I would like to give to you for homeschool, New Zealand Prime Minister Robert Muldoon. Oh, Dooney! Oh, Bobby Muldoon. I'll give you a clue. New Zealand.

Is that a pube? No, it's probably from Vaughan's beard. No, that's not a pube. That's too fine to be a pube. Fletch has just spun a hair. How do you steer your pube? I've got a thick, like a Goldilocks scrubber. You're used to being one of those steer-lows.

Georgia, would you like your subject to be high-rise construction cranes and how they get them down, eyeliner, or Robert Muldoon? I'm giving you all three options. It's just a topic. You can't tell her the questions you want to know around it. Like eyeliner, where it originated from. Robert Muldoon, nine-year-long New Zealand Prime Minister. He'd get OTP.

He did a press conference on the piss. Many a press conference on the piss. Bring back those politicians. He got on the piss. He got drunk and just made up. This is something you could maybe work. He got drunk and just called a snap election. He was like,

you want an election, dear? Well, stick it up your ass. I don't know if he said that on national TV. Georgia, what subject And he's like, oh, you want an election, do you? Well, stick it up your ass. We'll have one next week. I don't know if he said that on national TV. Georgia, what subject would you like? I think I'm going to go with high-rise construction cranes. Oh, that's an interesting subject. Okay, well, we will report back tomorrow, Georgia,

and hear your 60-second presentation on that. Shai, you have two options remaining. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Former New Zealand Prime Minister Robert Muldoon or eyeliner? I don't like the tone with which you said that. You know it goes on your eyes, but there's more to it than that. The origins.

I think I'm going to have to go with eyeliner. Yes. I was really looking. Drunk Robert Muldoon is turning in his grave. You know what? I think you can save that for our next homeschool because I would love to hear a presentation on that. Alright, Shay, well you've got... My presentation might be as wonky as my eyeliner, though.

I'd take a leaf out of Robert Muldoon's book and get drunk for your presentation. Alright, Shay... I can't do that, I'm pregnant. Oh, okay, well we look forward to your presentation tomorrow You've got a whole day To come up with that presentation 60 seconds, and we'll hear back from you tomorrow

Talk to you tomorrow Okay, detention if you don't do it as well We don't know what that means Is that what you do in homeschool? I don't know Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM Who's missing takeaways? Specifically McDonald's?

Me. I know because the other night I was like, oh my God, right now would be perfect for takeaways. I made a cheeseburger pizza the other night. I saw that. That looked pretty legit. It was legit. You can just make a cheeseburger anything

because we've made cheeseburger nachos. Yep. The secret is you've just got to have pickles and the burger sauce. Yeah. Which you can buy now, the burger sauce. The Waddy's burger sauce. So you just put Waddy's non have pickles and the burger sauce. Yeah. Which you can buy now, the burger sauce. The Waddy's burger sauce. So you just put Waddy's non-spawn burger sauce on a pizza with pickles.

So yeah, yeah. I brown the onion. I put the onions in a frying pan. Yeah. And then I brown the, shut up. You wanted to know. You'll know now. And I brown some mince and then I got a pizza base.

I was not stingy with the tomato paste. Okay. So you put tomato paste on as well? As a base. Okay. Then you put your meat and your onion on and then pickles and cheese, a few more pickles,

burger sauce. Oh, that sounds heaven. Bruh. Heaven. It was, bruh. When this whole thing's over, I'll have you out. We'll have a pizza party.

I mean, you could have us out now. We're in your bubble. But I don't know. Can you? What about the essential? What about the dinner things? I don't want to freak anybody out because everybody in my neighborhood seems to be playing ball. I don't want them to look over the fence and see some sort of soiree happening.

I mean, I wasn't saying we're going to get absolutely ridden off having a soiree. Okay, no, I don't know. I'll ask the Prime Minister. She's not sick of these things. Can I have a pizza night at my house with my bubble? With people that are in my bubble. With Megan and Fletch. But they will have to travel to get to it.

Oh, yeah, that's true. I don't have to travel far. David Clark's been cancelled today. I don't want to be cancelled. Don't be cancelled. She won't demote you because you don't hold any relevant points. I'll just get in the boot Of the car

After the show I'll smuggle you home Smuggle me like across the border Oh my god Like I'm French resistance Yes Yes And if I get brought over

Where are you going I'll be like I'm going nowhere How dare I stand accused In my own country Of simply going to my home My petite fanette You Nazis are overstepping the mark I'm simply going to my home, my petite fanette.

You Nazis are overstepping the mark. They open up the boot, they're going to shoot me. Someone's going to be like, how did he get there? It's not a snooker, the boot. Why are you speaking in a French accent, sir? We are not in France. This is not 1937. Oh, dear.

Oui, oui. So no pizza party then until lockdown's over. I don't know. What would the French have on their pizza? Snails. Yeah. You can go in the garden and find sna meals at the French pizza if you want. I did have a point I was getting to, though, when I mentioned McDonald's.

Oh, you made a burger pizza the other day. Okay. So what I did was I made a – Forget it. I browned the meat. That's how we got onto that. Right, okay, yeah. Wait, so what?

You want to know now? I'll hear you out. I'm interested. I don't want to tell you now. You know what the McDonald's – you know what they call the quarter pounder in France? I'll hear you out. I'm interested. I don't want to tell you now. You know what the McDonald's, you know what they call the quarter pounder in France? Le Royal Oishis. They do, yeah.

If Pulp Fiction is correct. Right. And that stands 20 odd years later. McDonald's in the UK have shared their recipe for the McMuffin, so you can make it at home. McDonald's themselves have shared the recipe for the McMuffin. It's hardly a trade secret, is it? It's an English muffin bun with an egg that's really round.

How do they do that? Does it... Here's my question. Does it not have any sauce on it? Does it not have anything? No, it doesn't have a sauce. It doesn't have a sauce. Is it a Holland A's?

It's a Holland A's. I thought it had a Holland A's-y sauce. Which you can buy. So the recipe they've given is one English muffin, the breedy bit, 75 grams of sausage meat. Do they mean mince? No, they put, like, sausage... Because sausage meat would 75 grams of sausage meat. Do they mean mince? No, they put like sausage. Because sausage meat

would be like a sausage roll. Well, there's a patty. There's sausage patty, isn't it? Two eggs and one slice of American cheese. Two eggs? Yeah. And that's it.

There's no sauce. There's one egg in a McMuffin. No, maybe there, you know what, there isn't a sauce. There's a hollandaise in the bagel, which is delish. Because there's sauce in there. Yeah. It'd be too dry without a sauce. And hash brown, they've shared in the bagel, which is delish.

It'd be too dry without a sauce. Hash brown, that recipe too. Potato, egg and olive oil. Grate the potato, put an egg in it and put it in the pan with some oil. Who's making their own hash browns? You buy the packet of hash browns. You just buy them at the supermarket. Time is of the essence. We've got four weeks. I don't have time to make

my own hash browns. I've got literally nothing to do. I don't have time to make my own hash browns. I've got literally nothing to do. I don't have time to make my own hash browns. We're joined on the phone by a friend of the show, financial podcaster, international traveller, and non-new clothes buyer, Frances Cook. Good morning. Good morning. That's my favourite ever introduction.

To address all the arrows in your quiver? The many, many facets of my personality. Yes. When we first talked to you earlier this year, you were on a I'm buying no new clothes for the year buzz, and that's what we had you in to talk about. Yes, yes. Haven't the world changed entirely since then?

Doesn't that now seem like the least of our problems? Yeah, because you were in South America just before all of this was blowing up, right? You just got home in time. Yeah, so we had left for one of the reasons that I was on a only buying secondhand clothes binge was to save money. You know, if I needed something, I was on a only buying secondhand clothes binge was to save money. You know, if I needed something, I was going to spend five bucks instead of 100. And I

was stacking all of that extra cash so I could go on an absolute bucket list trip to Peru and Argentina. And I would like to clarify, we left before it was declared a pandemic. So we weren't total idiots just grabbing cheap flights. Yeah. But we were in Argentina. We were deep in Patagonia. We were quite in a remote place, patchy and snat, all the rest of it, enjoying the hiking trip and keeping an eye on the news when we could and the rest of the time ignoring it. And then all of a sudden word went around one evening that COVID-19 was in Argentina.

They were about to start closing the borders. Get out. And we basically started this escape from the country that took about three days and frantic calls of rearranging flights. And, you know, we literally left the town we were in. 24 hours after we left, they put the whole place on lockdown and quarantined it, nobody in, nobody out. As we were flying out, they were cancelling flights all around us. It was a time. It was fun to watch.

I'm imagining it wasn't as much fun to lose. No. Yeah, I was putting it all on Instagram. I think partly when you're in such a weird situation, you kind of cling to what you know, and also you're kind of aware that as you... We still had to transit out through Chile, and Chile had closed its borders

but was still letting people transit through. And I was kind of like, well, if I get stuck in a country, at least people will know where I am. I don't know. Now, let's talk about the money side of this whole ordeal. And KiwiSaver, you've commented and written a bit about that. A lot of people panicking when they see their KiwiSaver balance at the moment. Yeah, I've got to say, your KiwiSaver looks so scary right now.

I get that. But it does only look that way. And I know that heaps of people are freaking out. We've actually taken the Cooking the Books podcast daily for now. So we're trying to get info out there to make life a little easier for people. But I've got to say, your KiwiSaver, right? So if you have a savings account and all of a sudden there's less money in it, that means someone has stolen money from you and that's a terrible thing. But your KiwiSaver

is an investment. You have bought shares and bonds and things. And so now while we're on lockdown and all those businesses you bought into are not having a great time, they are worthless, but you still have everything that you had before. So when the businesses open up again and life starts to come back, they will gradually be worth more. So you actually haven't lost anything. What you have is worthless, which means don't sell.

And that means don't cash out your KiwiSaver and take it from gross to conservative or something like that. Because you just want to hold tight for now. So if you can, after this, when we, you know, a lot of us go back to work, if you can afford to keep making repayments, it's a good thing to do that. But if you can't, you can take a holiday, can't you? A payments holiday? Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, if you are able, if your job is secure and you have some emergency savings for if things go wrong, then just keep contributing to KiwiSaver.

You are actually, a lot of people refer to it as the share market is on sale. You know, you are getting bargains right now and that's how you make money later. And people will often talk about millionaires are made in a recession. And it is true. When things come back, this will be the stuff that makes you money. But if you have lost your job or you are down to, I mean, I know some people are down to 50% of their pay. If you are struggling to pay your bills, then you always want to look after your current self before your future self.

So if your KiwiSaver will make the difference between you paying the bills or not, then ask your employer for a holiday. That's also my approach to eating during this. I'm looking after my current self, not my future self. Future self can lose those kgs later. They can take care of this. That's on them. In terms of buying a house because, like,

people want to use their KiwiSavers for their first homes, how long do you think it would take for it to recover? Does anyone know? Well, yeah. See, if anyone claims that they know for sure how long it's going to take to recover, run, because nobody does. We do know from looking at past crashes that typically it takes somewhere from a year to two years. And honestly, the bounce back even just within a year can be huge.

But we don't know. So what you want to do is make sure that you're sitting tight and you don't necessarily want to change your KiwiSaver based on the scary headlines of today. What you want is if you need to use it within the next five years or so, then usually the best thing is conservative. If it's five to 10 years or 20 or 30 years before you want to use it, then usually the best thing is gross. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean you should change now because now we're in such turbulent times that once the market has already gone down, the best thing to do is hold tight for now if you can.

And then once things have settled down again, then make a decision about what's the best place to be. All right. Well, a lot of info. You obviously discussed this more in depth with the podcast, Cooking the Books, which you said is daily at the moment? Yes. Okay, find that where you podcast. Frances Cook, thank you so much.

So breaking news out of the UK, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been moved to intensive care in hospital after his symptoms have worsened. So what is intensive care? They have that air pressure room that they talk about or something. Yeah, we know what intensive care kind of is, but like what? Are there levels of intensive care for that? So a spokesman said he was moved on the advice of his medical team and is receiving excellent care. So he did tweet just after midnight New Zealand time.

So nearly eight hours ago. That might have been one of his team. Could have been. Like he could have said, say this on behalf of me. He said, this was just after midnight. Last night on the advice of my doctor, I went into the hospital for some routine tests and I'm still experiencing coronavirus symptoms. I'm in good spirits.

But yeah, that seems to have changed. Right. Well, someone who maybe can tell us a bit more about intensive care, Abby, hello. Hi. Abby, now what's your position role? So I'm a doctor. I work at one of the hospitals in Auckland in general medicine.

Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. So when it's coronavirus, someone goes into intensive care, what does that mean? So usually intensive care in the hospital, like one of you guys just said, there is levels normally. Most hospitals will have both an intensive care unit and a high dependency unit or an HCU. Usually what intensive care means for any patient that gets admitted is they have some sort of organ problem that needs medical support that's above what we could normally provide on a ward. So for example if their lungs are in trouble or failing they would

go to intensive care for ventilation or to be intubated for someone to breathe for them. But they could also be there if other organs in their body are struggling, such as they can't manage to keep their own blood pressure at a normal level and they're needing to be on strong medications to keep their blood pressure up. Wow. Or if their kidneys are failing, it might be for dialysis. In some patients, which tends to be more of a high dependency unit, it might just be that they're looking sufficiently unwell

that they might not quite need that level of organ support yet. But the worry is they might need it imminently. But it's serious. Right, but it is very serious. Okay, wow. So he could be on a ventilator then, I guess we could assume. If they're saying he's conscious and talking, I would say he's not on a ventilator then, I guess we could assume. If they're saying he's conscious and talking, I would say he's not on a ventilator.

Obviously, I don't know enough about his personal case, but my guess from, as we said before, is being that he is the Prime Minister, I suspect if things are looking at all not so good, they've probably got him there mostly so that they can have one-to-one staff watching him. Normally on a medical ward, you might have sort of one nurse to, say, four to six patients. And it's a doctor looking after a whole team, whereas in intensive care,

you can have one nurse dedicated to that patient and doctors much more available on hand. So that might be the reason they've moved him. Right. And just when people get on a ventilator, is that on medical shows where we've seen the intubation down the throat? Do you have to be unconscious to be on that? Like, that's obviously not a very pleasant thing to be experiencing while being conscious.

Yeah, essentially people usually are unconscious. There are some situations where someone long-term has breathing support where they can sort of be conscious, but that's not usual. Most people that are ventilated when they're severely unwell will be sedated. They're usually breathing with the machine and sedated and wouldn't usually remember any of that afterwards. Right. Awesome.

Abby, thank you so much for A, answering our question, and B, just doing what you do. No problem at all. Very much appreciated. Thanks for calling the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. This Friday, Good Friday, followed by Fabulous Sunday.

Supermarkets shut on Friday, but will be open Sunday. They're open on Fabulous Sunday. On Fabulous Sunday. Because usually they're not open on Fabulous Sunday. Supermarket shut on Friday but will be open Sunday. They're open on Fabulous Sunday. On Fabulous Sunday. Because usually they're not open on Fabulous Sunday. Or Good Friday. Yes. Hot cross buns Saturday is still going ahead as planned. Brilliant.

We ate all your hot cross buns. And then you've got regretted all Monday. After Fabulous Sunday where you've gorged on the chocolate throughout the whole weekend, you regret it all Monday. That's all happening. Side note, have you tasted the little mini caramel kegs? They're real yum. No.

Where would I find these mini caramel kegs? I've bought some of them, but we shouldn't be eating them yet. Should we? Well, it's like a block of caramel, but they're just a little hard egg. Yum. Little mini egg. Is there anything inside it, or is it just solid caramel? Solid.

That's a pretty hot play. It's a hot play. It's just enough. It That's a pretty hot play. It's a hot play. It's just enough. It's just a delicious morsel. It's just enough. Yeah, that's it. So you're telling me it's not enough. It's not enough.

It's not enough. The pack's gone. There's tinfoil everywhere. It's a nightmare. Yep, yep, yep. It's madness. Well, it is Easter this weekend. And given that we're in isolation, there was an upcoming concern that the Prime Minister dealt with yesterday.

We'll be pleased to know that we do consider both the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny to be essential workers. But as you can imagine at this time, of course, they're going to be potentially quite busy at home with their family as well and their own bunnies. And so I say to the children of New Zealand, if the Easter Bunny doesn't make it to your household, then we have to understand that it's a bit difficult at the moment

for the bunny to perhaps get everywhere. But I have a bit of an idea that maybe in lieu of the bunny being able to make it to your home, you can create your own Easter hunt for all the children in your neighbourhood. So if you're one of those homes that's had a teddy in your front window, maybe draw an Easter egg and pop it into your front window and help children in your neighbourhood with their own Easter egg hunt because

the Easter bunny might not get everywhere this year. So there you go. Deemed essential. Pretty cute. I saw so many people sharing that last night. I think that was just what we needed. A little bit of cute. So yeah, good to hear the Easter bunny's going to be deemed in a central service.

But as the Prime Minister said, there might be houses that the Easter Bunny can't get to this year. But the Tooth Fairy, great news. The Tooth Fairy's upped its payout, $80 a tooth. I'll rip one of my teeth out. How much money is in my mouth? Are they going on quality of tea? Yeah, $80 for a top tier tooth.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Am I a bad person? All right, this is a lockdown edition. I think legally if you say all right, you're going to say it three times in a row. All right, all right, all right. There we go. Good.

This has come from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Please listen to their situation and then decide are they a bad person. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We are on lockdown separately. I don't know why. Okay. But they are. This might be why, actually.

Before the lockdown, we had a few issues, and now it feels like we're only together for the sake of it. I still like him as a person, but I don't really see myself in this relationship anymore. It feels platonic, and we want different things. Am I a bad person for ending the relationship during lockdown? Well, I mean, you want to end it, so why prolong it? I guess.

You should have probably done it in hindsight. You should have done it two weeks ago. But maybe they didn't. They've had that self-reflection time, you know? Yeah. They've had time alone. Time without them and actually fine without them. Yeah.

If there is ever a time when it's okay to do it on text. You'd still call. You're not texting. No, we're on lockdown. You'd Zoom. Or message. You can call. You can't Zoom break up.

You can't FaceTime break up. No, you can't. You can't FaceTime break up. Because you're in eye to eye. No. No. You can't FaceTime break up. No.

No one wants a FaceTime break up. You either do it in person or on the phone. You can't do a message. No. No one wants that. Absolutely not messaging. You imagine breaking up with someone on FaceTime watching their little face. I know. It's bad enough that you do it in person as the

you know. And then what if they're recording you and you end up being a meme about breakups? Well that would be horrible. We're breaking up with you and recording you. you end up being a meme about breakups? Well, that would be horrible. So we're breaking up with you and recording you. Why do I think this is about you? You're breaking up with them. Okay, so are they a bad person? I don't think they are.

They just need to do it. Whether it's text or FaceTime, they need to do it. Because this could still, I mean, people are saying this will be four weeks, but it could be longer. I think we all need to be mentally prepared that it could be five or six, maybe longer. We don't know what's going to happen with the cases in the next week. Because, you know, it's getting to that stage where if people had this pre-lockdown, you know, they could be finding out they've got it now. Yes. Or they could have got it from someone.

So we might be a little longer. So it's, again, it's more time. You don't want to drag it on. It's dragging on. But you do have to be aware of their situation. Like if they're on lockdown without any support or anything But you do have to be aware of their situation. Like if they're on lockdown without any support or anything, that would suck. They could be mentally fragile. Yeah.

Maybe they've already used their data for the month, so they can't go online to it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know what I'm getting at. You'd hope they'd have some saved material. No one saves material. No one saves. You're right. No one saves, especially like, what are they,'d have some saved material. No one saves material. No one saves.

You're right. No one saves, especially like, what are they, lockdowning with their parents? No one's, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, so are they a bad person? This is a lockdown breakup. Are they a bad person for lockdown breakup? Okay, so what should they do? Maybe you've been in this situation during lockdown or you know of someone that has. Surely there's been some breakups during lockdown.

0800 DALS at M9696. Give us a call. If you're on the live stream as well, feel free to comment FEMZM to follow the live stream. Comment in the comments. Anything else you'd like to add, Vaughn? I would have thought comments in the comment bit would have been sufficient. No, no, no.

No further evidence to present, Your Honour. Good. Because I can see why you would wait. Because everyone's quite mentally fragile at the moment. You're also not moving on. If you've already moved on mentally, you're not going to move on physically right now anyway. True.

We're not allowed to. They've also got to deal with this, so they might as well deal with that at the same time. You know what I mean? Could be another way of looking at it. You're already feeling shitty anyway. I feel like there's not a clear answer here. It's not like you're going to ruin anyone's day.

We're all locked up. I feel like they're a bad person. There's no clear answer. There's no right way, but that doesn't mean they're a bad person for doing it. Kira, what do you think? Is she a bad person? I think she is a bad person.

I think just hold her down a little bit. You know, everyone's just a bit foley at the moment. We just, you know, it's a bit of a low blow. Okay, so you think she should wait until we're all released and then do it? Yeah, and just have a proper chat. Okay. Yeah, I'd drop some hints.

What about doing it by Zoom? I mean, because... Here's my code for the room. Yeah, and just have a proper chat. Okay. Yeah, I'd drop some hints. What about doing it by Zoom? I'm in code. Here's my code for the room. I'll see you in a sec. Just follow this link. But you'd have to make it a very professional breakup. You'd have to say yours sincerely at the end. I don't think you should break up on house party.

It's either FaceTime or Zoom. I think Zoom. Zoom for all your business transactions. Thanks, Kira. Sarah, what do you think? Is she a bad person? I don't think she's a bad person. Because if all your business transactions. Thanks, Kira. Sarah, what do you think? Is she a bad person? I don't think she's a bad person. Because if you're really not feeling it,

why would you stay and be unhappy? This is already stressful enough. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's quite difficult. This is mentally straining. So why would you want to come out of this with more issues with a boyfriend? Because you'd presume that they're still talking, right?

And so every time you talk... Well, and if he's there with... If he's got, you know, other people in his isolation bubble, if he's there with family and friends, then why not? You may as well just rip the plaster off and do it. He's got people there that can support him. Yeah, just send him a text message. Okay, all right.

Sarah, thanks for that. Not a bad person. Sina, what do you think? Bad person? Nah, not at all. Just cut and lose. And I think it's best, like, because we're on lockdown, you're not going to have those, like, every other day catch-ups,

blurring the lines, are we friends? You know, none of that awkwardness. It's just done. Yeah. Easy. I mean, not easy, but, you know. Still hard. Maybe.

Still hard, yeah. And if he comes and stands at the end of your driveway, call 10-5. Yes, exactly. A non-emergency police response. Sina, thanks. You called some text messages. My partner and I broke up last night after seven years.

I'm a nurse and I have to risk my life going to work every day. Yesterday, he thought it would be a great idea to go diving with his mates. Oh, wow. When I had him up about it, he told me to shut up, so I packed my bags and moved to a holiday home. Wow. Who's going diving with their mates? Very specific.

Yeah, and especially you'd come home seeing all the horrible, like just talking to friends in the medical profession. It's horrible at the moment. And, yeah, come home back. And then your partner's just flouting the rules because he wants to go diving. I'd report them. She's not a bad person, but just talk to them.

Don't text. Great time to do it, though, because you can't go out and have fun and then it makes it look like you're having fun and you were already over it when you broke up with them. Yeah, true. So that's an option. But not a bad person either on our Instagram poll. 93% said not a bad person.

Right. Okay, well, there you go. Yeah. Get it done. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day is about foxes.

I quite like foxes. They're so cute. I'm fascinated by foxes. The fox and ferret. Yeah, I remember when I saw a fox in London. Freaked me out. No one told me there were foxes in the city. Wandered around, didn't they?

Are there? Yeah. They steal your shoes and such. They steal your shoes and such. Mother, father, my shoes have been stolen by the pesky fox. Just before school ended, my, um, Indy's class was reading Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Now that's a good book. Have you read Fantastic Mr. Fox? And seen the movie. Don't lie to me. Have you read Fantastic Mr. Fox? I don't know if I've read it. I saw the movie. Read Fantastic Mr. Fox. Okay. You told me the Wes Anderson Fantastic Mr. Fox. Great movie. The book is still an absolute chonker.

There are estimated to be 258,000 foxes in Britain. Wow. Most of those in rural areas, but 33,000 in urban areas. Well, I know from when I was building our chicken run, I said, how high should a chicken fence be? And all of the results were like, high enough to stop a fox. And I was like, well,

we don't have foxes. No, we don't. We don't have foxes, but they can jump really high. I just find them fascinating creatures. They're like a, they're like a cat dog,

like a cat wolf. Yeah. And they're a bit more like a cat than, but you know. Melbourne has them too. Melbourne has foxes. Yeah, Melbourne had a lot of, not native though, right? How did they get there?

Who knows? Yeah. Who knows? Anyway, and then there was that famous song, What Does the Fox Say? And then they made the noise and that's kind of actually kind of what the fox noise sounds like. But did you know foxes can laugh?

No. No, I did not, Vaughan Smith. Foxes having their bellies tickled. Are you being trolled? No. That's super cute. They're rescue foxes. So, I don't know.

I'm not exactly sure on how these three foxes, Finnegan, Dixie, and Vixie, came to be rescued. But the Save-A-Fox is the YouTube channel. And this was actually only put up a few weeks ago, a couple of three weeks ago. And it's called The Foxes Love Me. And it's this lady who rescued the foxes. She, who's that? That's you. It's you.

Your speaker's playing. Just mute your computer. But my computer's playing. Is that your phone? Oh, it's my podcast that I'm playing. I said, we don't even touch that, do I? No. I think Siri started it for you.

Oh, bloody Siri. But the foxes, yeah, she's tickling the foxes. And the foxes are laughing. More, more laughing. Can you show me? He's a gummy wee fox. I don't know if I'd have my hand in that fox's mouth. What's your concern with the fox mouth?

Oh, my God, that was real cute. Yeah, that's a great fox. Oh, my God. Is that a black fox? That one's real cute. Yeah, that's a great fox. Oh, my God. They're like a dog. They're very, very cute. That's super cute. Okay, I want a fox now. You've done it.

You've sold me. He's done it. You've sold me. He's done it. He wants a fox. So today's fact of the day is foxes can laugh. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM. Fletch for the Megans. Fridge bingo. Time for fridge bingo.

It's just bingo with your fridge. Yeah, it's we name items and you say ding or dong, you know, whatever you're assigned, and you could win if you've got the things in your fridge. You don't win anything, though. You win the, I guess the... Bragging rights. The bragging rights, yeah. Yep.

Well, because yesterday you said that they were going to get a certificate. We can get them one of those. Oh, yeah, we'll get them. I was trying to check with Nancy. Let's meet Ding. Oh, yeah. Okay, we'll meet Ding. Kendall, good morning.

Hi, good morning. Good morning. Now, is your house stocked? Is your fridge nearly two weeks into the shutdown, the isolation? It's looking like a lot of leftovers. Yes. Okay, okay. All right, well, Kendall, if we call out a fridge item, you yell out ding.

Okay. Okay, let's meet your contestant, your competitor, Caleb. Good morning. Good morning, team. How's it going? Good morning. It's good, Caleb. Good morning. Good morning, team. How's it going? Good morning. It's good, Caleb. How stocked is your fridge?

You know, like, we're pretty healthy. I think we could survive a few more weeks without going to the supermarket again. Really? Absolutely. Looking good, looking good. Flex. Well done, Caleb. How stocked is this fridge?

You're going to be dong, Caleb, if Vaughan reads out a item in your fridge. Please buzz in with dong. Alright, dong. Lovely. Now, it'll be the first to three. If it's tied to a piece, you've got to be the first to buzz in to win. Alright, let's start. Vaughan Smith, over to you. Oh, the randomiser, would you like?

Yes, please. That's of course what I was going to say. Random Yes, please. Are we going to use the record? That's what I was going to say. We're still going to do that. Randomise it, please. You didn't speed that up like you said you were going to, did you? No. Chicken. Chicken-based leftovers. Nothing? No. Nothing? No.

Really? You said your fridge was chock full. Oh, yeah, dong, dong, dong, dong. Dong guy. Here he comes with the late dong. God, did you just hit... Whipping your dong out last minute. No, he's going through all his spoons and his fridge. I was going to say, are you walking through your fridge, Caleb,

just having a look around? No, no, no. Look, guys, I work from home, so I'm just rolled out of bed. Okay, so what's your chicken base leftover? Some kind of like chicken, frozen chicken tenders. And we've cooked too many of them up. They have been cooked. They have been cooked.

Okay, well in that case, yes, congratulations. You take the 1-0 lead, Caleb. One for Dong. All right, next item, if you could hit that random yes, congratulations. You take the 1-0 lead, Caleb. One for Dong. All right, next item. If you could hit that randomiser, please. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! A milk alternative. Dong. What kind of milk alternative have you got, Caleb? Soy. A milk alternative. A milk... What kind of milk alternative have you got, Caleb? Soy. Soy milk.

Soy milk. Kendall, any at all? You don't have to be the first in the early rounds. You've just got to have it. I just have regular blue top, so... Oh, that's not an alternative, though, is it? Goodness me. Well, Caleb...

I'll double flex. I've got some almond milk as well, guys. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Almond and soy. Oh, my God. Caleb, Caleb. I'll double flex. I've got some almond milk as well, guys. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus Christ. Almond and soy. Caleb, geez. Okay. Two now will lead to three.

You're a deep voice, Caleb. You didn't drink real milk. It's all alternatives. It's all alternatives. In fact, somebody's messaging saying he should do a GoDaddy. Caleb should do a GoDaddy. Oh, yeah. Should we say...

That can be our treat at the end. Like, I am show fillin' Ryan Bridge. Thank you. Yeah, he does. I've got the laugh of Roger Farrelly as well. Oh! Oh! Super glue.

Any adhesives? Only boomers keep glue in the fridge. What? I'm just trying to think of any food that I've got in the fridge that I could use as super glue. Oh, yeah. It's really hot again then. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Something past its use-by date. Oh, ding. Ding. Oh, there she is. Her first ding. She's going to put a point on the board. What's past the use-by date? I have yogurt. Yeah.

It's still good for a few days. How past its date, Kendall? It was best before on the 31st. That's a weak name. You're right. You're right. Just stir in the water. The water gets on top.

Just stir that back in. Just stir it in. You know, you can put it in like a curry. Yeah, good for cooking. Yeah, good for cooking. Don't waste it. Yeah. When you're making a butter chicken and you use a yogurt, Like a curry. Yeah, good for cooking. Yeah, good for cooking. Don't waste it. When you're making a butter chicken and you use a yogurt,

what do you do with the strawberry chunks? You just sieve them out. Sieve them out. Sieve out the strawberry. I'll write that down. Also, we're obviously dealing with bloody Annabelle Langbine of yogurt-based curries over here. Also, I like that Caleb's like, oh, yuck, there's nothing over its expired date of mine. That's good, let's do it.

Caleb 2. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Some form of pudding. Dong. Dong. Here he is. I bet it's a bought one, not a made one. Some form of pudding. Dong. Dong. Here he is. Here he is with his third pudding.

I bet it's a bought one, not a made one. What kind of pudding, Caleb? Oh, what was that, Megan? Oh, yeah. He's going to shut you down. What is it? What? Well, it's cheesecake.

And you made it. Did you make the cheesecake? No. See, that's the thing. That's why I was asking Megan what she said. Oh, we thought you were being smart. She said, I bet it's a bought one, not a made one. Oh, definitely a bought one. Oh, we thought you were like, excuse me, bitch.

Excuse me, Megan. Brilliant. Caleb taking out today's episode of Fridge Bingo. Congratulations. Kendall, enjoy that seven-day-old yogurt, but unfortunately you go home a loser today. I'm straight at home. So you stay home a loser. Thanks for the reminder. You're alright, babes. You're not a loser.

You just didn't win this. Which makes you a loser. No, she's the not winner. You're a't win this. Which makes you a loser. No, she's a not winner. You're a really good participant. Yeah, you were. Here's a Weet-Bix candy. It's a triathlon medal. All right, if you would like to,

how can people, if they want to play Fridge Bingo, Executive Intern Anya, message FVM on Instagram. That would be lovely. And I believe we do have our first celebrity locked in for an episode of Celebrity Fridge Bingo. Don't. Are we saying? I think we should.

Yeah, let's do it. Matty McLean. Ah. Is he still cooking up a storm? He was trying to do a new recipe. He'll have a good fridge. Yeah. We didn't raise the bar that high for a celebrity.

No, that isn't he. I'm Matty, but he's on the show all the time. We love him. Yeah, that's because of who we could get. Undoubtedly, he is a celebrity. Because you go out with him and it is painful. Oh, old woman. Come up to him.

I'm sorry, the room is tomorrow, Matthew. No, the boom is love, mate. Oh, my God. Hey, now, 18 weeks ago, you said it was going to be fine with a southerly, but it was blowing from the west and it was cloudy, as I recall, young man. We're going with who we could get. Yeah, but anyway. No, he's a celebrity.

I'm just saying he's, you know, he's a friend. Okay, but you're right. We do need another celebrity, so I guess that can do. Do you have any ideas, Executive Intern Anya? What about a rugby player? They're very celebrity in New Zealand, aren't they? True. Or could we make it difficult and do like a Nadia Lim?

Because she'd have a pretty bougie fridge. Oh, my God. Nadia Lim's fridge would be... Like a chef. Yeah. Or like a Chelsea Winter. No, we should save Nadia for the chef edition and put her up against Josh Emmett.

Oh, yeah. Oh, sexy. Good idea. Okay, so we need another celebrity. Do you know Nadia Lim? Do you guys follow Nadia Lim on social? Let's go big. Gwyn yes. Good idea. Good idea. Okay, so we need another celebrity. Do you know Nadia Lim? Do you guys follow Nadia Lim on social? Let's go big. Gwyneth Paltrow.

Yes. Goop herself. Weird-ass crystals in shape. Imagine if Maddie McLean up against Gwyneth Paltrow. No, that's the first thing. We need a big celeb to go up against. A vagina egg. Who's got one of those in their fridge?

And she's like, no, you keep your vagina egg in the pantry. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. 14 minutes away from nine. I feel like it's getting looser and looser every day. I like it. Yeah. We're in the mud. We're playing in the mud.

This is my territory. I'm a little piggy. I love, I love, I just think. Which is, what is happening? Running loose, baby. That's what's happening. I love it. All right, we're going back on the phone.

Good stalling, Vaughn. Thanks, Vaughn. You keep it up, buddy. Hey, thanks, Caleb. Thanks, Caleb. No, you're welcome. Thank you. Now, Caleb was the winner

Of Fridge Bingo today Now for those maybe That are new to the show Or missed it Old producer James Had a very deep voice Very similar to Caleb's He did

A very deep voice And it has Triggered a lot of listeners And we used to get We used to get a go daddy From him And we just thought How we got onto this was

They were sponsoring A cricket or something. Yeah, that's a weird name for a website domain provider and a website builder. And then we said it sounds like sexual. And then we got James to say GoDaddy because he had the deepest voice. And then it became a thing. And we've been missing it since he left.

Has he ever offered to call and do it? No. He still gets people in public asking him to do it. I don't think he likes that. No. I don't think he really liked doing it for us. I think his counsellor asked him to distance himself professionally or personally from us for at least 2020, you know?

Yeah. So we were wondering if you, with your deep voice, would do us the honour of a good deep go, Daddy? Sure. I think quarter to nine is pretty late, but let's just do it. Yeah. All right. We ready?

Yeah. Yeah. GoDaddy. It's a deep bit. And then it needs a bit more bass. It needs a bit of bass. Do I just hang up now? No, no, no. We're not leaving until this is right. No, like, like. Oh. Do I just hang up now? No, no, no.

We're not leaving until this is right. No, it was the inflection. I think you just keep it. Go, daddy. Oh, yeah. More like a deep voice. Because you've got a deep, natural voice, you're probably not used to having to pull it down like us

when we ring a place and don't want to have to sound like our mum. Exactly. Oh, my God. Hello, Smith Residents. G sound like our mum. Exactly. Oh, my God, they use it all the time. G'day, Christine. No. I know. I remember before your voice dropped, Dave,

you'd answer the phone and you'd be like, hello, Bev. You'd be like, no, just get in. I'll get in for you. Doesn't that still happen to you, Fletch? Yeah, it does when I go home. Yeah. So you pull it, maybe pull it in if that makes sense.

One more go. That last one's going to be a bit of a breathe out. Oh, okay. Wait, I'm going to go

outside. I just want to just check. This is consensual. We're not overstepping the mark here, are we? I feel like we're... Are you guys not paying me for this? No, no, we're not overstepping the mark here, are we? I feel like we're...

Are you guys not paying me for this? No, no, we're not. Okay, alright. Can you still hear me? I'm just outside. Phones still work outside, Caleb. No, no, no. Okay, thank you. Not a uniting cordless that your mum would have been on back in the 90s though.

Alright, alright. Go daddy. Go, daddy. It's different. It's good, it's good, Caleb. It's not James, but it's good. It's good. It's different. It's great.

Thank you. Have a wonderful day, James. Sorry, Caleb. Oh, my God. I just killed James. Caleb James. Oh, my God. Get James on the phone.

You caught him out X. Get James on the phone. James doesn't want anything to do with you. I just killed James. Caleb James. Oh, my God. Get James on the phone. You called him out. Get James on the phone. James doesn't want anything to do with you. Oh, I don't care. What does counsellor say? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Remember when... I know what we're talking about. I was just giving it a breath. But then I realised you could hear my breath. I don't know. And then I thought actually that is the measurement of how long it is when it's like give it a breath and then you're like. And then you speak. I don't know if us having two weeks holiday,

forced holiday on Easter is going to be a good thing or a bad thing. Why would it be a bad thing? I definitely need to get away from Easter. I think it will be a good thing. Yeah. Okay, let's go with good thing. Okay, it's a good thing. Now I forgot what we were going to talk about.

No, it's back. Digital supermarket queues. This happened at our local supermarket and has since caught on. Now, I'm not saying they're the innovators. I'm not saying they're the leaders. I think they were the leaders, though, weren't they? Well, you said it, Megan. I didn't.

Bold claim. A bold claim made by this morning by Megan Papadopoulos on the show that New World QMU invented this. That you would go to the supermarket, and if you've been since the lockdown, you will have noticed queues, long queues. Yeah. You got a social distance.

Yeah, you got a social distance, but then that's a challenging thing and it freaked people out. Even the two metre thing, being surrounded by people, wearing masks. It was a lot for people. Well, did you see the lady at Pack and Save at the weekend with her two metre builder's ruler? I went to Pack and Save last Friday and a guy was like really having a go at everybody

who got close to him. Yeah, right. Two metres! Like he'd just yell it. And everyone was like, whoa, I have to get past you. The irony is, if he has COVID, he's yelling, spreading his droplets all over. Beyond that.

So you would turn up, you would walk up to the door, there'd be a text code, you would text it, and then you would get a number back. Right. Then that number would be called, and then you could go back to your car, chill out, and you could go back to your car, and then they'd call you and you could go in you wouldn't have to wait in line, you could relax

in the comfort of your vehicle. Like theme parks around the world have those little devices you can get and digitally queue or have a certain time when you go up so you don't have to wait in a line. So that's basically the premise of it. So you would go up and digital queuing so it's kind of caught on. It's good going into winter too.

Well, I mean, getting colder because you can stay in your car and if it rains, you can stay in your car and you're not standing outside waiting. Yeah, unless you've got a leaky car. You've got a leaky car. So, I mean, you may as well just stand outside in the rain. Yeah. I don't have a leaky car.

Your car always smells like wet. Why does your car smell wet all the time and like hay? Because there was hay in the back. I can explain the hay scent. The wet may be my incontinence, but I'm not exactly sure. I can't. Did it have a urinary scent to it? Yeah.

A bit of a wee smell? Mum's just messaged. She said our pack and save has little two-meter stickers on the floor everywhere. But everyone's doing that, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two-meter stickers. She had to tell someone off on the line the other day because they pushed in and they were standing too close to her.

They pushed in? Yeah, they pushed in. So did she tell them off for the push in and the standing too close? Good. So it was a double telling off? Double telling, yeah. And then he didn't go to the back of the line, he just went to the back of mum. No.

And so she had to tell him off again. Yes. Yeah. Bev don't take no shit. No, she's a warden. A Q ward again. Yes. Bev don't take no shit. No, she's a warden. A Q warden. Absolutely. Just, you can tell people off,

but remember to be kind with your telling offs. Kind of like when your grandparents told you off. Well, my grandparents. I can't speak for everybody's grandparents, but my grandparents

would be assertive, but kind. Assertive, but kind. Assertive, but kind. All right, that is our show today. Don't forget our long weekend group two. Driveway Edition returns on Thursday morning because it's Good Friday.

Thursday morning, 8 o'clock, you can do the long weekend group two. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

And music lives here. ZM.