ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 8th 2020

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

Pandas getting frisky  Producer Jared went to the Vet  Fridge Bingo  Vaughan's Free Ad  Margo Regan on resolving lockdown fightsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Wednesday morning. Yep. Wednesday. Easter. Another couple of days away. What day do we eat chocolate? Any day. I've been eating chocolate. Sunday's your traditional chocolate eating day. Okay. The bunny hunt day. You hunt the eggs that the bunny left. The bunny's left behind. You. It's the bunny hunt day. Where you hunt the eggs that the bunny left.

The bunnies left behind, you don't hunt the bunny. No, no, no, you don't hunt. You don't hunt Easter bunnies long gone. Well, they do in central Otago, don't they? You can hunt the bunny, but those are not Easter bunny hunts. Actually, that'll be cancelled this year, won't it? That big bunny hunt that they do down there. Yeah, that's a bit of a gathering.

They won't be doing that. Everyone will just have to take care of the rabbits on their own property. Yeah. Because you're not supposed to, you know, socialise,

mosey to other properties. Fair enough. Just go shooting on your own property. So they do that at Easter. Always feels very... On the nose. Yeah.

Especially when they cut to the news and there's a big pile of dead rabbits. Yeah. Should be their time. Wow. They are pests, though. They are. They are pests.

In the central Otago. Yes. Forget that. We forget that. Yeah. And those rabbit scientists developed that vaccine for Khaleesi's virus. Didn't they? They did, yes.

It's not Khaleesi's virus. Khaleesi virus. Yeah. Khaleesi's virus. Khaleesi virus. Yeah. Khaleesi's virus. Khaleesi virus. Yeah, those rabbit scientists really knuckled down and got their vaccine developed, and now they're mostly immune to it.

Now, coming up on the show, Vaughan, the top six. Correct. The top six ways to have a holiday at home this Easter. We can't go away. Well, yeah, they've been telling people, don't go to the batch. Don't. No. And they said that from the start, didn't they? Because you don't, little towns don't need to be overrun with

holiday makers. They don't have the supplies, they don't have the medical centres, they don't have the facilities for lots of people. Also, you don't need to be taking your bubble somewhere new. Yeah. So the top six ways to have a holiday at home. Top six things you should do to your house to make it feel like you're somewhere else. Fletch the top six ways to have a holiday at home. Top six things just to do to your house

to make it feel like you're somewhere else. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I have just made you the most appalling cup of tea, Megan.

Oh, that's so nice. I didn't even ask you. I've been doing a real... You were about to, eh? When he walked out. No, I completely forgot about that. But then I think you're scallop.

You've got three minutes. Put her off asking. But I was in such a rush. But then I think your scallop, you've got three minutes. Put her off asking. But I was in such a rush. This is not looking good at all, but I think it can be salvaged. It's the thought that counts. Because I put the hot water in the teabag and then I was like, I'm running out of time and I had to put the milk in before the tea had had proper time. So it looks just like a weird puddle.

You know when you're washing out your paintbrush and you've been painting with white stuff? That's what it looks like at the moment. Give it. Well, the tea will come. The tea will come. Yeah, give it a beat and it'll be. Come on, tea. Come on, tea.

Come through. Come on now, steep up. Come on. Come on, what are you doing? Come on now. Come on. Tea, tea, tea, tea. Tea, tea, tea, tea.

Come on, tea, tea, tea, tea. Puss, puss, puss, puss. Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea. What do you shake for the tea? You know, you shake cat biscuits. Well, the box of bags. The choice of bags. The choice of bags.

I wanted to go from this thrilling, now I'm about to chat about tea. Yep. Tea, tea, tea, tea. Tea, tea, tea, tea. Tea, tea, tea, tea. Is it working? Is it?

A little bit. Okay, good. A little bit. It's getting there. I think it probably would have happened without the calling. I don't know if it would have. I guess we'll never know. I want to go from talking about the tea to telling you that Ying Ying and Li Li are finally banging.

Great news. My pandas. Oh, pandas. My pandas. My pandas. They've been trying to, at the Ocean Park in Hong Kong, they've been trying for 10 years to get these pandas to mate. Right.

These are the pandas you may have heard about, the panda porn. Putting on videos of other pandas engaging in sexual activities. Right. To hopefully arouse them to the point of fornication. Wow. That's quite a shot, Megan, from the South China Post. That almost looks like they're doing physio on each other because they're pushing out very hard on the shoulder blades of the panda. Good Lord.

So it's been shut since late January, and people working at the zoo have been skeletal. Right. Skeletal. No,. Right. Skeletal. No, skeletal. Skeletal staff. You say you're on skeleton staff, but I've said skeletal. I don't know.

Staff. You can't say skeletonal. Skeleton staff. Skeleton. Skeletal staff. Skeletal. Skeletal. I'm happy I went with skeletal.

Okay. And then I questioned it and took away all the smarts I'd accrued. Skeletal staff. Yeah, I reckon it and took away all the smarts I'd accrued. Skeletal stuff. Yeah, I reckon that's right. Yeah, it felt good. So it's been closed to the public since January, late January. And then they started noticing behavior between the two pandas. They said, what is this?

And it turns out it was foreplay leading into the breeding season, which usually occurs between March and May. And they've been spending more time playing in the water. Oh, lovely. And Lee Lee has been leaving scent markings around his habitat and searching the area for yin-yang scent. And they are looking to be getting down to business. Great news.

Maybe they just didn't want everyone watching. That is the thing. I hadn't thought about that. I thought they would have a lot of time, but they wouldn't, would they, if they're in a zoo? They're kind of away from people. Yeah, they'd always be nighttime or feeding. Yeah. And then after a long day of people looking at you, it's the last thing you'd want to do is get down and frisky.

They should put Joe Exotic in charge of breeding pandas. That's when you hear about tigers being endangered. That dude's cranking out so many tiger cubs, it's crazy. Can tigers be reintroduced to the wild? Or once they're... I don't know.

Because, you know, is it cheetahs? If they come... They're like dogs. They can't go back to living fully wild because they've become accustomed to human...

I think it's cheetahs that can't be reintroduced to the wild. But tigers, you'd think... Its that can't be reintroduced into the wild. But tigers, you'd think... It says they can eventually be reintroduced into the wild. Man, they should confiscate all those big cats and reintroduce them to their natural habitats. Can you imagine Joe Exotic doing seminars on how to breed tigers?

Hey, y'all! He got a couple of panthers over there. When's the last time that panther was spotted in South Island? Because that's still hanging around, isn't it? Well, everybody's stuck at home. It's probably running rampant. Rampant. Rampant.

Running wild. Yeah, rampant. Yeah, sure. But it can't breed, right, because there's no other. Well, no. But let's get a couple of tigers out there. What can go wrong? I mean, ask some high Canterbury sheep farmers and bee farmers.

They'd probably have a couple of answers for you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There is a Facebook group that has been set up and apparently 70,000 people are on board. This is over in New Zealand and Australia. I don't actually know what the Facebook page is called. I think it's Lockdown Skids. The reason I think it's Lockdown Skids

is because this Facebook page also has merchandise. So you can buy a T-shirt saying Lockdown Skids practice social distancing and they've got a little logo. I mean, okay, like that's bad, right? Going in and doing Lockdown Skids. But we've got a tip of the hat to the entrepreneurial side of these people. Like that's making –

Some merch. Some merch. Put it out there to someone on the page and they've said, can anyone design us some merch so you can get a lockdown skids T-shirt? Okay. Right. But there is also videos of races. What are they like to be called?

Because they don't know been called boy and girl races anymore. Yeah, okay, car enthusiasts. Right. Doing skids and burnouts on empty streets. There is one video of them doing drifting through the car park of

Countdown in Massey in Auckland. Right. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not your car park of Countdown and Massey in Auckland. Right. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not your car park. Is that your local? No, no, no, it's not. It's one of my local. Supermarkets. Matt, which Massey?

I'm assuming they mean the one at Westgate. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's not enough room there for drifting. No, there's East Massey too. That car park's already riddled with potholes. And you don't want to hit a trolley bay, do you? That's the thing. You don't want to hit one of those trolley return things.

That'll bloody... That'll stop you. That'll stop you. Nis and Sylvia in its tracks. Well... Lots of comments. I thought this one was going to tell them off. It said, I don't know how you guys get away with this.

I go out and I get caught. Another person said, just a tip, make sure you cover your number plates, boys. Well, that's a label. Also, there could be girls in there, you don't know, being very sexist. But yeah, it is also very silly. Yeah, because look,

this car here is doing skids in a front-wheel drive Nissan Porsche, which, that's fine. You do you. But they're doing it on a road, on a public road, and their number plate, I can fully see their number plate.

I wouldn't have thought that would have been super smart. No, not ideal. There's been a couple of crashes out our way. Yeah. There was an early morning one that took out a power pole. And then two days later,

another early morning one that took out a power pole. Both times caused power cuts to people who were not on press. Were they actually just out like... Yep, out just driving too fast. Because the road they crashed on, it's not a crashy road. It's just no one's out, so they're all just having a home. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Last week, the head of Woolworths in Australia, it's the same company that owns all the countdowns here in New Zealand, they said, or they told Australians that they sold 20.5 million rolls of toilet paper in one week.

Whoa. How many? 20.5 mil? A million in one week. Now, I don't know if that was Just last week Or in that week Where everyone was Going crazy

Pre Kind of lockdown When Wow So isn't that That's crazy And that's just one One outlet

One week Well that's Woolworths in Australia Yeah yeah yeah But that's not including Coles No Or all the other places You could get toilet paper

Crazy right Wow So One Adelaide man This is why Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's not including Coles or all the other places you can get toilet paper. Crazy, right? Wow. So one Adelaide man, this is why this is in the news. So there's only 24.6 million Australians. Wow. So did you say rolls or packs? Says rolls. Rolls.

Okay, so rolls of toilet paper. Woolies in one week. So nearly enough toilet paper for every Australian to have a roll, and that's just Woolies, not including all of the other supermarkets. Isn't that insane? Department stores. In one week. Wow.

Even our supermarkets, I, just because I've just, every time I go down the toilet paper aisle, I don't have been to the supermarket too much, but I'll have a look and I'm like, okay, we've still got toilet paper. Good. Yeah. We're over that, right? I feel like there's going to be. There's toilet paper aisle. I don't have been to the supermarket too much, but I'll have a look and I'm like, okay, we've still got toilet paper. Good. Yeah. We're over that, right? I feel like there's going to be...

There's toilet paper now. Yeah, I feel like there's going to be some people after this that don't need to buy toilet paper until late August. I even saw flour at the supermarket when I went last week. Did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because flour and yeast have been an issue. Yeast was still an issue.

The guy stocking the shelves told me yeast is the big one now at Good Jump's site. Because it's not like flour. shelves told me yeast is the big one now. Good job, son. Because it's not like flour. It doesn't arrive by the pallet load. Yeah. Yeah, so it gets scooped up pretty quick. So a lot of online marketplaces stopped people selling toilet paper online. eBay in Australia, which is what most Australians use, like their Trade Me.

And some supermarkets in Adelaide have reported being approached by a man who is claiming that he's been stopped selling online. He's stopped from selling online. And he is trying to offload more than 5,500 rolls of toilet paper that he swooped up and purchased in the early days. People like that should be charged. Yeah. He tried to buy toilet paper to profit off it when there was a shortage,

but the shortage never actually happened because toilet paper's relatively easy to produce. And they said this from the start, didn't they? Like, we make toilet paper here in New Zealand. You don't need to go crazy. And every time I've been to the supermarket, it's always been there. I mean, maybe not the rolls that I always use, but... Some form of toilet paper.

Some form of toilet paper has always been there. Ah, jerk. Now you spend the rest of your life having to get through that toilet paper. It'd take you a while, right? Yeah. How many rolls do you reckon the average person uses a year? Oof.

Average rolls of toilet paper. It's hard to tell. In our house, we've got four people using toilet paper. But how long would it take you to get through? Because there's two of us, I reckon it takes about five days to get through a roll.

Oh my God, about four billion people don't use toilet paper. Yeah, yeah. 70 to 75% of the world's population does not use toilet paper. Yeah, they use the little hoses. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

Remember when we went to Cambodia? It's because toilet paper is actually pretty hard. You've got to have a really up-to-date sewage system to get rid of it. Yeah, they use the little hoses. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Remember like when we went to Cambodia? It's because toilet paper is actually pretty hard. You've got to have a really up-to-date sewage system to get rid of it. Yeah. Because it's chunky. You were about to say really up-to-date. I know.

I know. Like you're used to using toilet paper. Yeah. But imagine if you didn't and you went with a really cool, you've never used it before and then your first toilet paper was a coarse, one of those coarse toilet papers. Yeah. You know, cheap, coarse. Yeah.

Yeah. A rough one ply. Consumers use approximately eight to nine sheets of toilet paper per use. The average, 57 sheets of toilet paper a day. An average household, the average roll of toilet paper lasts about five days. Yeah. That's five days for an average, for like four people. Surely you'd go every couple.

No, it takes about five days to get four, but we're only two people. So, I mean, if you've got five and a half thousand rolls, you're going to be not needing to buy toilet paper for a long time. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. It is Easter weekend this weekend. A lot of people use this as an opportunity to take a few days off next week and travel. Yeah.

But we've been told stay where you are. It's staycation time, baby. So the top six ways to make it feel like you're on holiday at home. Great. Great. Cool. I got an email today from Coachella. It's like, hey, you can just watch this thing at home all weekend. They're doing like a 20-year special.

I was like, yeah, it still doesn't make it feel better. What is it? Was it this weekend? It was this weekend, yeah. I mean, you know, this big problem, like people are dying and stuff, so, you know, I'm over it. Could you watch that but sit beside the window of your apartment I mean you know this bigger problem like people are dying and stuff so you know I'm over it but could you watch that

but sit beside the window of your apartment and look down for hotties because that was the main reason you went to Coachella right hot people hot people

I mean people were hot but it was more the music involved but yeah sure oh you can enjoy that this actually sounds like a far better does it version to me

less people no queuing less people if you're going for the music, enjoy the music. Introverts like you are loving this whole thing. I mean, apart from the whole death and economic destruction of the world, you're loving

being stuck at home. It's good stuff. If you like being stuck at home. Number six on the list of the top six ways to feel like you're on holiday at home. Charge yourself an insane amount of money for a can of coke from the minibar, which is

actually just the size of your ordinary fridge. Hey, wait a minute, that's your own ordinary fridge, but I know how to skirt this. Next time you go to the supermarket, buy a replacement can before you check out. I was actually thinking about just going to the spare room for the weekend, pretending it's a holiday. Yeah, that's what we had to do.

I could go to the supermarket. Totally could. Yeah. Have you done it yet? No, we're doing it this weekend. You are? On the holiday. Yeah, going to the spare room.

I love that. I love that. You need to pack a bag so you can only wear the clothes that you take to that room. Yeah. Oh, because it's a long way home. Oh, my God. Do you think because you're having a romantic weekend away, the hotel will put a bottle of wine on your bed?

Not on your bed. They'll have it in the fridge. You wouldn't have chilled on arrival. Yeah, that's true. Are they making a fruit basket? Like chocolates. Yes. I'm going to roll towels on the end of the bed and the end of the chocolate.

You should Google how to make the towel animals. Oh, yeah. Do a towel swan. Because I've got time. Yeah. You actually do. Nothing but time. See, I find towel animals very

tacky. What? That's a controversial opinion. They're tacky. I think it shows that they put a bit of effort in. Well, maybe I've gone to a tacky place this weekend. I don't want someone touching my towel that much. Like, I'm going to have to use that on my body

and this is pre-germ time. This is pre-germ? Don't touch my towel so much. I have to use that on my body. And this is pre-germ time. This is pre-tover? This is pre-germ. Don't touch my towel so much. I have to put that on my penis. You know, like, and around my bottom. Grosser things have touched your penis. When have you ever worried about germs around your penis? That thing has been some places.

I will sue you. You know that song, I burn everywhere, man. I burn everywhere. Sue him for what? Defamation. You have to prove him wrong. You have to prove what I'm everywhere, man. I burn everywhere. Sue him for what? Defamation. You have to prove him wrong. You have to prove what I'm saying is a lie. Incorrect.

It is. And I would actually countersue you and present actual evidence that it has. Okay. Lawyer up. Lawyer up, bitch. That's on. Number five on the top six ways to feel like you're on holiday at home. If you have kids, make them address you as mama and parpar.

Or le mazor. Or la father. So it feels like you're in France. So you're in France. Yeah, yeah. Or at least, you know, French Polynesia. Yeah. That could be nice.

God. Yesterday. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. I was trying to have a nap, but all I could hear was, ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Where's ma'am? Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. yesterday. Mam, mam, mam. I was trying to have a nap and all I could hear was mam, mam, mam. Where's mam?

Mam, mam, mam. Mam. I was like, go and find her. She obviously can't hear you. Mam. Mam. Oh God,

that was trying. It's weird because during this whole lockdown thing, the amount of people that are like, oh God, having kids is the best thing. It's weird because during this whole lockdown thing, the amount of people that are like, oh, God, having kids is the best thing. It's dropped away. There's a lot of that. Yeah.

It's dropped away. You know, like it's been quite funny to watch. I've had lots of fun with the kids, but the ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. Go and find her. Ma'am. That's not finding her. Number four on the list of the top six ways to feel like you're on holiday at home.

Lift up the TV and put it on the car windscreen and then get in the car and Google a video of a road trip. And then it'll be like, yeah, great. It's like you're looking at it and then sit in the car for like five hours. What was that amazing, was it on the, it was, was it late last year

someone did that amazing like HD 4K road trip around New Zealand. That would be perfect. And it was in real time. You could watch the whole thing. Yeah. Was it on Prime or something?

You watched the whole thing, right, and it was like 24 hours of broadcast. Where's that? I've got to, let's find that and post that because that would be,

what a treat to have that on. Yes. And then you can just, in your house, pretend stop at the gas station, heat up a pie and get some lollies. Yeah, and do a real gross poo and then run back to the car and be like, we've got to get out of here. And then Dad's yelling at you because the truck's about to pass you and all the camper vans and you've lost all that time. You've got to role play.

If you're going to role play, you've got to do it right. Yeah. Number three. You can pick up a hitchhiker if you want to role play. If you're going to role play, you've got to do it right. Yeah. Number three. You can pick up a hitchhiker if you want to role play. What? Oh, yeah. But it's mum. Okay, that just got really weird.

Yeah. I don't know if I've got that much imagination left. The shadow's not got an accent. Yeah, right. Okay. Maybe I should be the Hitchhiker. Oh my God, yeah,

from Germany. Guten Tag! Because Shanks want a ride. What's your name? Hitler? Oh my God. She's like,

role play over, why'd you go with Hitler? I'd be like, I panicked, I had to think of a German name. Let's go for Adolf. Guten Tag! My name's Adolf. Guten Tag.

My name's Adolf. Any other German names? Stefan. Is that a German name? Well, I panicked. I hope my name doesn't put you off. I'm just going with the Coromandel. Yeah, sure.

What? That's a very common name. Number three on the list of the top six ways to feel like you're on holiday at home. Set up a tent in the lounge. Oh, okay. And put a campfire, not a real campfire, don't light a campfire inside. Well, because people have been told off for lighting their backyard fires. I know.

I've got a big burn pole ready to go, but I'm waiting. I'm waiting until the emergency services can come and help me when I set my whole property on fire. You can Google campfires on the tally. Oh, yeah, good. Have a virtual campfire and we'll have a crackle and a pop.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to feel like you're on holiday at home. Eat like you're on holiday. That means guilt-free. Yeah, nice. That means guilt-free. Oh, are we only doing that this weekend? Because we feel like we've all already started. Yeah, yeah. I started this at the start of quarantine.

I'm planning to continue it. I started mine in Jan 3rd when the first World Health Organization thing came out. So I'm going to start panicating. Yeah, I don't want to freak anybody out, but there's a disease that's really sitting trying to flinch. It's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I won't take any chances. And number one on the list of the top six ways to feel like you're on holiday at home.

Booze at breakfast. Oh, yeah, mimosas. Mimosas. Yes. I might get some really nice orange juice. Woo! Treat yourself. You know, like a real pulpy orange juice.

Can you do mimosas with Raro? Oh, my God. Raspberry Raro mimosas. It might just fizz up. That could be amazing. Could you do a raspberry mimosa? Oh, raspberry. You get some raspberries in. Yep, raspberry mimosa.

Oh, yum. Now what goes in a raspberry mimosa? Raspberry sorbet, chambord, and sparkling moustache. I love chambord. I have chambord. Do you? Chambord. What about blackcurrant liqueur?

Blackberry liqueur, blackcurrant liqueur. By the way, every recipe for this has five stars. Look at these sons of bitches. Oh, my goodness. Now, how do you make the raspberry sorbet? You probably have to buy that, right? Oh, like is it a sorbet as in like from the sorbet shop?

They're all closed. No, no, you buy at the supermarket, can't you buy a, you'll be able to buy like a raspberry sorbet. It's a black raspberry liqueur. Lemon wedge, granulated sugar, raspberry sorbet. Oh yeah, there you go. Okay, well that sounds so like, I might have those for Zoom drinks actually.

Friday's Zoom drinks. Just so you can make the rest of us feel poor. Your bloody drinks trolley. Which is slowly being depleted. Yes, good, good effort. That is today's Top 6. In Australia, different states have different levels of how they're dealing with COVID-19,

which is unusual for us, really. It's like a blanket rule across the country, and if you don't stick to it, you start getting in trouble. With Victoria, where Melbourne, the state that Melbourne's in, down the bottom there, but not South Australia. That's across a little bit. Yeah, that's Adelaide and stuff, isn't it? Yeah.

Even though parts of Victoria are more southern than southern Australia, right? Yeah. I don't know how it works. It's a bit weird. Was it a problem with that? But anyway, these lads were having a game of backyard cricket and breaking social distance rules that had been set by the state government. Yep.

And they were fined. They weren't warned. So they were all just friends that had decided to meet up and have a game. Yep. Wow. Okay, so weren't in each other's bubble. No. Fair enough. They met up. They weren't in each other's bubble. No. Fair enough.

They met up. They weren't abiding by the new lockdown laws. They were fined $1,652 each. Wow. Each one of them was fined that amount. That's the thing. Australia's fines and a lot of countries' fines are way bigger than ours. Like, they'll just, us being a friend in Canada,

they'll just give you a big fine just on the spot. And on long weekends, look, we're not putting it on long weekends now because everyone's been told to stay at home, but they do, like,

things like double demerit points, double fines. Yeah, like promo weekends, like double fly points. Yeah. Okay, cool. They said it was double demerit points. Yeah.

If you get caught, there was a big one, I remember when I was there on long weekend, it was if you get caught texting and driving, it's like double the demerit points. Yeah. If you get caught, there was a big one. I remember when I was there one long weekend, it was if you get caught texting and driving, it's like double the demerit points and double the fine. Wow. Yeah, because I feel like in New Zealand, we'd get warnings too.

Maybe not for speeding and that stuff, but like if you were playing backyard cricket, you'd probably get a warning right first. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's getting to the extent where the warnings have been out there long enough and well publicised enough that you should just know, right? They've charged a couple of people, but yeah, most of the time they're just warning people. Charge them.

I'm all for it. So Victoria, police have been doing spot checks at homes, businesses and non-essential services. They've called this Operation Sentinel. 70 fines were dished out. The day before that, 108 fines were dished out. The day before that, 108 fines were dished out. Yeah, they're just doing spot checks. And they said, yeah, if you're doing non-essential travel or... Yeah, somebody else said his 17-year-old on an owl plate, which is...

Learners, yeah. Yeah, was just doing a training drive with mum in the rain yesterday. They got a $1,600 fine because it was deemed non-essential travel. Well, I guess it's not essential to learn to drive now. You can learn to drive in a month or two, can't you? Yeah, that's true. And it's leaving your property. Ruthless.

Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A BBC host has received a lot of praise after she was presenting the news and she had written a message in pen on her hand. So she'd never mentioned it, but Victoria Derbyshire had the number for UK's National Domestic Violence Helpline

printed on her left hand. So it had the number and then it said 24-7 underneath. Right. And she just kept putting her hand up under her chin. Which is weird for a news presenter to see because that's not what they normally do. No, they wouldn't have anything on their hands.

Yeah, so a lot of people were praising her for doing that. There's obviously a spike in domestic violence that happens around the world. In fact, in New Zealand, there has been a 22% increase. That's

in Christchurch of incidents. So that's nearly one incident every 30 minutes since lockdown. That is sad, isn't it? It's a really... Horrible. Sad reality of the fact that people get locked down in scary situations and not everyone feels safe where they are. But there is a lot of helplines in New Zealand.

Women's Refuge Crisis is 0800 733 843. That's 24 hours. There's lots of helplines. So if you don't have people safe at home, please reach out to someone. I would say if you

were all spending a lot more time at home, you might be hearing a lot more happening around your house. From the neighbours. Yeah. I would just call 111. The police said, yeah, if you hear something, please call 111. This isn't a 10-5 situation. That is an emergency.

That is a situation where someone's life could be at risk. Yeah. So especially like we're on lockdown now, but there's going to be four days. It's holiday weekends always tend to put a lot more pressure on. Yeah. On relationships. And it's no excuse. Any amount of pressure shouldn't result in that whatsoever.

But people that do this, you know, lash out when pressure's applied. So. Yeah. Yeah. There could be extra pressure. So I just, yeah, straight up call the police with any concerns you have about anybody's safety. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I would just, yeah, straight up call the police with any concerns you have about anybody's safety. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Home school. All right, it's time for home school. We're learning in quarantine and self-isolation. Yeah. People got set homework yesterday. We're going to hear from Georgia later in the show, but right now, Skye, good morning. Good morning, it's Shay.

Oh, Shay. How did you think that was? No, I just looked at it. It's like A-Y-E and that just reminds me of Skye. I'm sorry. Oh, Shay, I apologise for that. It must be Skye. A-Y-E instead of Skye. I was just saying I need

a coffee today, like a legit coffee. I feel like it's really hit me today. What, is Instant not doing it for you in these quarantine times? I'm not drinking instant. Okay, Shay, we sent you the homework yesterday, and it was Megan's topic that you chose, eyeliner. Yes. Now, you had a dream last night that this didn't go well.

I had a dream you gave me an F. Now I'm so nervous. You had a dream you got an F? Well, you put so much pressure on yourself to do well. I know, and it was embarrassing because it's the first thing you've given out. Please don't give me an F. It would have to be, you'd have to not do it to get an F. Yeah, and I think isn't the lowest that we go, like, wouldn't that be a D?

Or an E? An E. Or an F for fail. Please don't do that. That was really terrible. I'd give you an F. It would have to be pretty bad. Okay, well, Shay,

you have 60 seconds to give us your presentation on eyeliner and your time starts now. Okay, so eyeliner is a makeup that people use to define their eyes, making them look either bigger or smaller. So let's go back to 10,000 BC,

ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia. That's when people first started using eyeliner. It was used to protect their eyes from the sun and to ward off evil spirits. So both men and women used eyeliner. Their favorite colors were black and green. The black ingredients, black coal, K-O-H-L, and other powders were used in the eyeliner,

but they were actually contaminated with lead salts. And as you can imagine, being exposed to lead is not good for you. But researchers in 2010 actually believed that their exposure to the lead

increased the wearer's production of nitrous oxide, boosting their immune system and preventing eye infections. Many of these toxic chemicals were still in eyeliner up until at least the 1920s, and then they were removed for obvious reasons. In World War II, materials for stockings were in short supply, so women used to use their eyeliner to draw seams down their legs

to make it seem like they were wearing stockings. So that's why we used the eyeliner. And as of 2018, the eye makeup industry, which included eyeliner but powders and other things, was worth $14.5 billion US dollars. Hey, brilliant, Shay. Definitely not worth an F.

I'll tell you that. It's worth way more. I really enjoyed that. History to the modern day. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Great.

Brilliant. I'm giving you... That's what I learned about eyeliner. I'm giving you an A minus, Shay. An A minus. I'm giving you... I'm giving you an A-. Shay, an A-. I'm giving you an A. That really tickled me. Thanks, Megan.

And I'm giving you an F. You little bitch. You little bitch. I'm giving you an A. I'm going to give you an A-. An A+. For overcoming your demons. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, thanks, guys. You obviously had some anxiety about this stupid thing we're doing on the radio. To be honest, that makes me feel bad. So you got the plus for guilt. Awesome. Hey, Shay, congratulations. We'll give you a certificate, a homeschool certificate of achievement in the post when we're allowed to post things.

So, Jared, our new producer. New producer, Jared, good morning. Good morning. You've had a bad run this week. Everyone wants to know on the live stream that you're back and you're okay after your kidney stones. Yep, kidney stones. It was gruelling.

So, you had to wee out of your wee hole a big stone. That's what that is, right? Yeah, it was quite an experience. Do you know how big it was? It was about three millimetres. So not quite large. See, that sounds like nothing, but then when it's going through your system...

It's a small hole and it's a twisty pipe. Like one of those twisty, fun, novelty straws you had. Yeah. Trying to go down that. Except it's made of soft flesh. And rather than sucking something through the straw, you've got to push something through. It's like a Swiss ball going down a hydro slide.

No, that's... Is that a good analogy, that one? Well, it would fit down there. It would be like a Swiss ball going down a playground slide, which is smaller than a hydro slide. And you have to push it down. Yeah, but I said when you were using hydro slide than a hydra slide. And you have to push it down. I see what you were using, hydra slide, because of the water analogy, because you have to push it.

Oh, ouch. It felt like a Swiss ball going through a garden hose. A garden hose. Oh, okay. Wow. That's a good analogy. Good analogy. Well, you were back yesterday after you pushed that Swiss ball out,

so kudos for that. Yep, cheers. But that's where the drama did not stop for you last night because your dog ate something. It shouldn't have. Yeah, so about 10 minutes before nine, before I go to bed, I heard a lack of noise from my dog, so that's always a bit suspicious.

So I sprinted to my room and she was like halfway through a block of Rolo. Rolo chocolate? So many Rolo chocolate. What are you doing? Did that come in a block? Yeah, like a block of Rolo. Rolo chocolate? So many Rolo chocolate. Are you talking about the... Didn't that come in a block? Yeah, like a family-sized block. Oh, yes.

Okay, I was aware that Rolo had made the transition from a... Oh, so not the individual tube of Rolos. No. Okay. Into a block. But each breakable thing is like its own little Rolo. Yeah, right. Because I haven't heard of Rolos for ages.

Rolos or Rolos? Rolo. Rolo. Rolo. Rolo. Right, okay. The plural. How were of Rollo's for ages. Rollo's or Rollo's? Rollo. Rollo. Rollo. Right, okay. The plural. How were you saying it? Rollo.

Because there was that ad, wasn't there? It was like, hey, Danbo. And the ad, the elephant stole his Rollo. Remember that ad? Not at all. Yeah, no, I don't. No, definitely wasn't it. Oh, yeah, here we go.

How did it go? Yeah. Transition from a... Oh, no, hold on. That's the live stream. Here we go I've got it It's on YouTube

Yep Um Zeranet Hey Dumbo Nah nah He's taunting the elephant With the chocolate

Rollo And eating it Nah nah nah nah nah Oh And the elephant looks really sad. I did not remember this. And then there's a grown-up man years later. Sounds like it's from the 50s. And there's, um...

Oh, the elephant smacked him in the face. He got what he deserved because he was taunting. Because elephants never forget. And Rollo, too good to share. Yeah. Like, when was that add-on? That is... I remember that.

That's an old ad, though. You do remember that. It was like the 90s, 2000s. Early 90s. Early 2000s. No, early 90s. It was definitely early 2000s. I remember it was on during Ninja Turtles.

And I'd be watching original Ninja Turtles. Well, either way, dogs shouldn't eat chocolate or Rollo's, should they? No, definitely not. In fact, was there not just this last week or earlier this week a warning from the vet society or the whatever about watching your chocolate around your dogs? Oh, because it's Easter.

The vet association group, otherwise known as Vag. Vag issued a warning. Vag issued a warning earlier in the week stating this exact thing, Jared. Obviously I missed that message. You missed the Vag. Yeah, I'm not subscribed to the Vag. Come on, get on the Vag issued a warning earlier in the week stating this exact thing, Jared. Obviously, I missed that message. You missed the vag. Yeah, I'm not subscribed to the vag. Come on, get on the vag.

If you've got a dog, you've got to be following Vag on Facebook. Okay, yeah. Well, yeah, great tips there. So what happened? You had to take the... Yeah, so I had to rush her down to the vet. What kind of dog is this? Beagle.

So like medium size. Oh, I tell you. What kind of dog is this? Beagle. So, like, medium size. Oh, I tell you. Megan knows everything. And beagles eat everything. Megan knows that all too well. That's how RIP my beagle. Oh, rest in peace. Yeah.

So, you rushed... It's Ruby, eh? Ruby, yeah. You rushed Ruby. Yeah, rushed her to the vet. Had to stand outside for about two hours because, obviously, you're not allowed into the vet anymore. Oh, yeah.

So, they made her throw up, and that cost me about $230. Wow. Yeah. Oh, that's expensive chocolate. Yeah. And I didn't even get to eat any of it. So it's a lose-lose situation.

Wow. There wasn't a little bit left in the packet? There was like two rows left, but you don't really want to. I would have gone for the last row at least if I was desperate. Okay, I've actually just signed you up to the Vet Association Group International Newsletter Agents. Oh, awesome. Vagina for short.

I've just chucked your... Should you sign another person up to vagina? I feel like it should be their choice. Not everybody's into vagina. Like, Fletch, you don't need to sign up for vagina. You've got no pets. But for everybody else, I would get amongst the vagina.

The Vet Association Group International News Agency. I need to get amongst the vagina, yeah. No better time than on lockdown to get amongst the vagina. Just one sign up per house because you don't want Mr. Toyboy signing up to it if you've already signed up. Right. Okay.

He needs to be, they're both, you've got to get the newsletter. They've both got the dog. Well, make sure you sign up to the Vet Association Group. The Vet Association Group International Newsletter Agency, which is the monthly email out from the Vet Association Group. Right. But your dog's fine, Jeremy. Oh, yeah, she's fine.

Ruby's fine. Thank goodness. I'd say $200 is worth it, though. Oh, definitely. Watch your chocolate around the dogs this weekend with your Easter eggs. And so especially if you're doing an Easter egg hunt in the backyard.

And sign up to Vagina. And also there's another one, the Animal National Association list. Don't say it. We get it. We're on the eve of a long weekend, which really doesn't mean anything while we're in lockdown, does it? Well, some people are still working,

so then they get a reprieve from working from home. True. And supermarket workers get a day off Friday. So I have seen a couple of supermarkets around the place saying, we're going to stay closed Sunday because closed sunday because we think oh people need a day off and well because they've been working shelf-free stuffers need to just be able to do it at a normal pace not yeah madness they need a break uh so yeah so most supermarkets yeah as you say will be closed on uh friday uh now it is a tradition ahead of a long weekend that we do the

long weekend group too we haven't had one since October. And we did think about not doing it because obviously the roads are dead at the moment. And that is, I guess, a requirement essential for the long weekend group tour to happen. Well, upon reassessment, is it though? Because really all you require is a horn and another person with a horn. Yeah, but there's just not the numbers. And also we don't want to be encouraging people

to be out on the road. It's not essential travel only. So we've decided that we're going to try the... No, it's essential travel only. You just said it's non-essential travel only. Imagine if all the travel was non-essential. How pointless. Just everyone out for a Sunday drive.

So yeah, it's obviously essential travel only on the roads. So we don't want to encourage non-essential. So we're deciding to do the long weekend group tour in the driveways around the country. Correct. You park up,

maybe give your neighbours a little bit of a heads up over the fence. Yeah. But remember, keep your two metres distance and let them know it's going to be happening

tomorrow at 8 o'clock if they want to partake and you can call us in tomorrow after 8 o'clock. We're going to get this country humming. We're going to get the country united. We're going to get the country, we're not going to flatten the curve, we're going to partake. And you can call us in tomorrow after 8 o'clock. We're going to get this country humming. We're going to get the country united.

We're going to get the country. We're not going to flatten the curve. We're going to squash it. We're going to absolutely squash it. We're going to smash it. Just on that, ahead of the long weekend, a lot of warnings from police about travel to batches and holiday homes.

Yeah, just don't. Similar to the warnings before lockdown, people were like, don't go to batches in holiday towns because A, it's not essential travel to get there. And also B, a lot of those places are, you know, they don't have big supermarkets or stores or hospitals and medical facilities to deal with like clusters or outbreaks. No. So you don't want to be stuck there and needing help. And people were saying, well, they can deal with it in summer when it's busy period.

They get more assistance during summer, medical centres and stuff like that. They get greater assistance when they know there's going to be people there. But at the moment, it's not a busy time, so their medical centres won't be able to cope with the influx. That's why you shouldn't go. So you've been told. And some of those, was it the West Coast? They want some road, yeah, checkpoints and roadblocks.

I think that's fair enough. Yeah. And the Pahunui waterways, they want people checking all the launches coming into park right outside those million dollar beach houses. Do they? Yeah, they do. If you head to Pahunui waterways.

They want the Navy. They want the Navy to be patrolling the entire Coromandel Coast to stop, like, people who don't own launches in Million Dollar Beach houses coming down there. Yeah, fair enough. Helicopters, the two, they want the Air Force to... If you're in a helicopter, that's fine, because that means you're a bit richer.

But if you're just flying like a fixed-wing plane down for the weekend, ooh, yeah, don't be so poor, and the Navy will shoot you out of the sky. Okay, you've been warned. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's fridge bingo. Well, we're stuck at home for isolation. The fridge is probably, depending on when you do your shop,

we do a weekly shop, the fridge could be starting to wane a little bit. It could be starting to look a little empty. Or it could be packed because you went in panic and bought everything. Because you did it. You're not getting through it. Right. So we play a game called Fridge Bingo. And that's basically where we've got a list of things we go through.

And if you've got them in the fridge, you buzz in. This morning, Hamish joins us. And Hamish, you will be ding. How's it going? Good, mate Hamish, you will be ding. How's it going? Good, mate. You're going to be ding. So if we call out something that's in your fridge, buzz in with ding. No problem.

It'll be the first to three. How's your fridge looking, Hamish? It's looking not too bad. It's got a little bit of stuff in it, but it's a fairly small fridge. So some of it we do keep in the freezer. So I'm looking forward to the bonus round if there's going to be one. I'm a little bit worried because I've been listening to a couple of the

fridge bingo's in the past, and I don't have any half corns or half cobs of corn or anything like that in there, so I'm going to see how this is going to go. See, Gerard, that was just corn. We just said corn or cob, and they said, yes, it's a half-eaten, pre-cooked.

Yeah. That made them weird. You don't worry about that. Yeah. Okay, Hamish, you're up against Chloe. Good morning, Chloe. Hi. Hi.

How's your fridge looking at the moment? It's looking very single woman, I think. So what are you like, wine, more wine? All the classic, yeah. Wine, a face mask? Yeah, yeah, all you like, wine, more wine? All the classic, yeah. Wine, a face mask? Yeah, yeah, all of those, yeah. Wow.

Some soy milk or some coconut milk? Oh, you've just smashed both of them, yeah. I mean, no clue. I was going to give them shit for generalising. Oh, probably like half a spirulina smoothie as well and a magic bullet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Finish that later.

Yeah. All right, so it's time to play Fridge Bingo. So, Chloe, you will be dong. Okay. First to three. First to three. Yeah, let's hit the randomiser, which I again forgot to time some press. Bourne, you literally had one job.

Fletcher's stalling while he finds it. Oh, yes. Okay, something taking up a whole shelf. Has anyone got anything in the fridge that's taking up a whole shelf? Dung? Oh, ding. Ding. Hamish, what's taking up a whole shelf. Has anyone got anything in the fridge that's taking up a whole shelf? No. Oh, ding. Ding. Ding.

Hamish, what's taking up a whole shelf? Like I say, it's a slightly smaller sort of fridge, but I've got a 24 box of, we'll call it apple juice. Apple juice. And it slides in and it takes up the whole... Yeah, well, because I'm a bit worried that it might collapse the shelf, but so far, so good. I love that you've got a small fridge and that's taking absolutely priority.

Yeah, exactly. You've decided to put all 24 cans in there at once rather than putting six in and replacing them as you go through them. All right, okay. We didn't get Chloe's. Chloe didn't have anything. I thought they both don't. Hold on.

Hold on. Stop the randomiser. Chloe, did you have something? Well, I just have... I have a bottle of orange juice that takes up the whole shelf, but I don't know if that counts. Is it side door shelves?

Are they included in the game? Well, it's got to be taking up the whole shelf, Chloe. It can't just be the only thing on the shelf. Ah, I see. Okay. So we're not counting that. Okay. No. Alright. In my head I immediately invented

a really long orange juice bottle. It was made to perfectly sit in the shelf. And it just has a little tap like a goon. Yeah. And you just like, yeah. So you open the door and it's orange juice and it sits perfectly in the shelf. And it just has a little tap like a goon. Yeah. And you just like... Yeah, so you open it into orange juice and it sits perfectly in the milk. That would be amazing. Okay, well...

Bags on that, but that's trademarked now. They already exist, mate. No, they don't. A trademark isn't just a bagsy either. Bagsy's. We've actually got to file a trademark. Copyright pending. Okay, Hamish, one nil to you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Half a pumpkin. Anyone got half a pumpkin? Nope. Back to the randomiser. Jesus Christ, Hamo. Okay, so I don't have half a pumpkin, but I do have sliced pumpkin. No, no, no.

Please listen in the future. Hamish, half a pumpkin. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Nail polish. Anyone got nail polish in the fridge? No. No.

It's a fridge. It's a fridge. That's a single lady thing, isn't it? Yeah, I would have thought. No, judge. Right up your alley. We're there. Do you keep it in the fridge?

Do you keep it in the fridge, Megan? No, but lots of people do. It makes it last longer. It doesn't go gluggy. Yeah, it doesn't glug out. I never knew. Oh, well, better looking everybody back. There it is.

Probiotics. Anybody got probiotics in the fridge? Anything that makes you poop? No. What, would you be counting probiotic in the fridge? Anything that makes you poop? No. You poop? No. What would you be counting probiotic yogurt on there? Yeah, as long as it says probiotics. Right, yeah, right. Yakult?

Yakult? Yakult? Yakult? Yakult? Yakult? Hey, buddy, haven't put for days. Got any Yakult? Like Epidopolis yogurt.

Yes. Yes? Have you got it? Dog, dog! Dog, dog! Yay! She's got one. She's got one.

Yay! One or... Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Ha! Hey! Sriracha sauce. Sriracha. Sriracha. Sriracha. Sriracha sauce. Don't have none of that. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. A sauce bottle that's got pretty much nothing in it. Yep. Ding, ding. Ding, ding. Hamish, what is that sauce bottle?

It's your standard Pam's tomato sauce. Yes. Yeah, good. That works. Chloe? Do you have to give it the old arm wind-up? Windmill? Yep.

Get that righty-o. Chloe, have you have to give it the old arm wind-up? Yep. Chloe, have you got any pathetically empty sauce bottles? I've got sachets but not bottles. No, it doesn't count. No, no. Okay. Two sachets of sauce. Are you okay? Have you stolen those from...

From McDonald's or something. Hello Fresh. Oh. Okay, still not a bottle uh hamish 2-1 to you you can do it if you um bingo in next Oh! Ah! Ah! Butter. Yes, I've got butter. Ding, ding. Hamish! Did you dong, Chloe? I did dong.

But it's wasted. But he won. It's wasted, Chloe, because Hamish, you have one fridge bingo with three dongs. Yeah, we're just taking to keeping butter in the cupboard at home. Did you want the margarine or butter? Because I've got both. Hamish, why do you have margarine? Are you a boomer?

No. I mean, I just put toast on the thing. I just slapped some spaghetti and eggs and stuff like that on. I don't get worried about butter. Right, but you've got margarine there. Yeah, it's just sitting there. Yuck. Save it for a rainy day.

Oh, what a real, what a downer end to the segment. No, it's going to be terrible. Don't margarine shame him. Hamish, it's going to be terrible on a rainy day. You're like, no, it's rainy. At least I'll have some butter for my toast. Oh, I need margarine. Cook this steak anyway.

And then you rub the margarine all over yourself, Hamish, and you run it in the rain, and it'll just bead up and run off you. It's basically just an oil, right? Yeah. Hamish, congratulations. A certificate is in the post for you. Chloe, thank you for playing Fridge Bingo. If you would like to play Fridge Bingo and you're listening to this segment

and thinking, I would love to be a part of that radio gold, you can send us a message on our Facebook. You're only like, wow. On our Instagram, FBMZM. We've got another round of I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name coming up. Speaking of Radio Gold. And the latest news update for you next.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Now, normally we give away a $100 cash prize, but I'm assuming now we're not in the climate to be doing that, so you'll probably get a certificate from Mountie. I will just say, Vaughan guessed my mum's name. Do you know what?

What a great prize. Yeah, just as good. I think what we're learning is we don't need a lot of stuff. Yeah, man. Like, have you been buying stuff, Megan? See? I haven't. You didn't need those shoes, did you?

But do you know, because sometimes I do it out of boredom, but I've replaced it with cooking, which is great. Oh, God. Just putting my hand here by my titty, I can feel it's definitely getting bigger. We were just talking about how, like, we've definitely all put on weight. Yeah, no one's buying clothes or anything in lockdown

because you're like, they won't fit me right now. I know. It's just like, oh, my God, my pants are all soft. We did this, like, COVID worksheet with the kids. It was like this COVID time capsule thing. It's actually a really cool thing because the kids write about how it made them feel and all this sort of stuff,

and then they can look back on it. Like, I don't know, when they have kids or when they're older and remember what it was like. And one of them was, like, your height and your weight. So I measured the girls, and then we weighed them, we wrote it all down I don't know, when they have kids or when they're older and remember what it was like. And one of them was like, your height and your weight. So I measured the girls and then we weighed them, we wrote it all down. They're like, you've got to do it because I was filling it out. And I was like, well, I know I haven't grown, so I put my height. And they were like, weigh yourself.

I was like, oh, nah. And they were like, go on. No, you should have just been like, I know what I weigh and then shave a few kgs off it. It would have been a big fat lie because I jumped on it and was like, but it didn't stop me. I had ice cream and Fijar crumble for pudding after the fact. Nice.

I'm a yo-yoer. Yeah. I'm a big yo-yoer. This is the up bit. I go up and down and you can't be a yo-yoer without going up. Otherwise, it's not yo-yoing anymore. We're going into winter. Shut up.

Yeah, there's a bit of things to worry about. Exactly. Let's just be happy. Plus,. There's better things to worry about. Exactly. Let's just be happy. Plus you never know when you'll end up on a deserted island and you'll need the weight that you're on.

You'll need the reserves. Yes. And all the chocolate that I'm smuggling. Alright, playing I bet I can guess your mum's name this morning and a bit of a change of tack.

This is going to be difficult for you. Vaughn, you're on a winning streak. The last two mums you've guessed their names correctly. Even a dad's name but most of two mums, you've guessed their names correctly. Oh, okay.

Even a dad's name. But most of those mums you'd say would be Boomer. Well. And that generation of Boomer slash Gen X. Gen X. Yeah, yeah. But today, you'll have your work cut out for you because we have on the phone eight-year-old Sienna. Good morning, Sienna.

Hi. Now, you. Can I firstly say, you've got a very lovely name. Thank you. Now, August was almost called Sienna. Oh, okay. But then bloody Ben Boyce's kids were called Indy and Sienna as well. Oh, you can't copy him.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He beat me by, like, two months both times. All right, so, Sienna, Vaughan's going to ask five questions about your mum, and then he's going to try and guess her name. Okay. Okay. All right, so Sienna, Vaughan's going to ask five questions about your mum and then he's going to try and guess her name. Okay. All right. Do you know what your mum's parents are called, your grandparents?

Yes. Margaret. Margaret. And Dennis. What do you mean? Dennis. Margaret. Dennis.

Mugs. I'm just writing down Mugs and Den. And Den Den. Mugs and Den. And Den Den. Mugs and Den. Oh, Den Den. Okay, great, great names. Great grandparents' names. Great grandparents' names.

So traditional names, though, aren't they? Yeah. Okay. How old is your mum, Sienna? 41. 41. Okay. Okay.

What does mum do for a job? What's mum's career? She's a policewoman. Oh! That's cool. Mum's an essential service. Yes, get it, mum. Does she ever bring the police car home?

No. No. Tell them no. Tell them no. Woo! Wah, wah. All right. Is mum going to run any future boyfriends through the police database? Tell them no.

No. That's what she says. That's what she says. That's not one of the questions. What's mum's favourite thing to drink? Tea. Tea. Not the vodka.

Don't tell them about the vodka. And what kind of car does mum drive? Not when it's the police car, but like when she's at home. A Hyundai. A Hyundai. Oh, okay. It's a good, yeah, good sensible family car.

Vaughan, you've got one yourself. That's Korean, yeah. Yeah. I've got a lot of time for the Hyundai. Okay, all right. All right. I've got my fast one. Those are your five questions.

All right, so Sienna, we're going to give you 15 seconds. We're going to give Vaughan 15 seconds to go through as many mum names as he can. If you hear your mum's name you say stop that's my mum's name alright here we go here we go

Sarah, Jessica, Parker Samantha, Emma, Nicole Ashley, Laura, Olivia Anna, Melanie, Melissa Stephanie, Amy Danielle, Natasha Lisa, Michelle Kelly, Tracy, Danielle, Natasha, Lisa, Michelle, Kelly, Tracy, Courtney, Chloe, Megan.

Oh. Oh. No. Get it. Sienna, what's your mum's name? Rebecca. Oh. What a good.

You were right in the wheelhouse. You were right in the wheelhouse. You said every 41-year-old's name except Rebecca. Everybody's in their 40s is called Rebecca. I had like five Rebeccas at my school. I know. And you're 48. Now, if you had to guess the dad's name, what would you have said?

I know we're not doing the bonus dad round, but what would you have said off the top of your head? Rebecca and and Daniel. What's your dad's name, Sienna? Corey. Corey and Rebecca. That's a 90s couple if I've ever met it. Isn't it?

Sienna, thank you so much for playing. Thanks, Sienna. And is mum there? Yes. Rebecca, thank you so much for being an essential service, a frontline officer. No worries. Sorry we couldn't...

Guess your name. Guess your name. I can't believe it. Disappointment, disappointment. I can't believe I slipped right under the radar. Heartbreak, absolute. Well, it'll be back again. Well, we're away for a couple of weeks from the Easter break,

but it'll be back when we return. Yep, sure. It's an absolute radio gold. Oh, because there's so many mums out there. Yeah, with names. It's a never-ending segment. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday on the DMs.

Yep. On Instagram, I got a message from Holly. Okay. And it says, please open me in caps. Okay. Our voices sound sad and bad. And I thought it said your voices sound sad and

bad. So I was going to open it up and tell her to write off. He's a nice guy, isn't he? He seems like a nice guy. He's good with his kids. I might tell him that I don't like his voice and see how he responds. Nice guy, out the window. Yep.

It's a sensitive topic. It says, hi Vaughn. Spout wrong, but you know, forgive and forget. Would you consider a small voice over possibly please? A group of us are working on a project for film school and we have a fake company called Streamline. We're all working from

isolation and the sadness comes through in our voices. It's one minute of dialogue. You've got to smile when you do your ad. Because if you smile when you talk, it sounds like you're happy. Day one of Broadway. Even though you just smile through the pain. Yeah, and then the microphone turns off and you go back to it.

I mean, you might be going through a divorce or whatever, but you smile through the pain. I feel attacked. It's one minute of dialogue and we'll 100% get us a cracker mark. Okay, right. I said, sure, what do I need to do? Now, do we have any other brief? Like, can this radio ad just have to be 30 seconds?

No, she said one minute, but, you know, good luck with that. This also looks like a script longer than a minute, but we'll just have however long. That's the nicest way you've ever said this script looks longer than a minute here at work. Usually it's like, who the wrote this? Tell them, send this back to them

who wrote it and tell them that it's too long. They didn't do a broadcasting degree or radio school, so they don't know that the average script should be. They're at film school. But people upstairs that do this for a job should know. They should know. Well, this is the ad.

It's Streamline fake company commercial script. So what kind of company is Streamline? It seems to be an internet service provider. Okay, and it's completely fake because they're not tricking us into endorsing a product. I Googled Streamline on internet. No, there was mostly just how to streamline your internet, but no company called Streamline the internet. I pulled up some backing music for this fake radio ad. No, there was mostly just how to streamline your IT, but no company called Streamline the Internet. I've pulled up some backing music

for this fake radio ad. Oh, good. What do we think of this? Your is going to be known in the industry as the producer of the ad. I'll produce the ad because I've got some sound effects.

I've looked over the script and I've seen that there could be some points where I can add some... You've got some music? And we're going to do this as what we call a hot mix. So everything's going to happen at once.

Yeah, live. So before we start... Do we need to have a drink of water Yeah, live. So before we start, what do you think of these two options? Or this one? Oh, I like this one. It seems quite approachable. I'd want to start, I think at the time if you feel the mood's changing. Okay.

I like this because this says I should sign up for their internet. They sound friendly, approachable. Yeah, okay. Good for the family. You guys have got the script. So are you on music and sound effects? I'm going to be on music and sound effects, yep. Okay.

And we can always pause and then restart from a line because we can edit that together. We can edit that. We can edit that. Okay, here we go. Am I going first. Yep. Okay. And we can always pause and then restart from a line because we can edit that together. We can edit that. We can edit that. Okay, here we go. Am I going first? Yeah. Okay.

Imagine you go to get a drink. There's a line. You go to use the bathroom. There's a line. You go to see your mum. There's a line. You go to see your mum. There's a line. Slow internet means... Oh, yep.

Means you're in a line every time you go online. You'd rather be posting, shopping or streaming instead of waiting. No sound effect? I don't have a sound effect of waiting. No sound effect? I don't have a sound effect for waiting. Or maybe... Nah. Nah. We know you want this because Streamline is for Kiwis by Kiwis.

Your internet provider probably promised you this. No queues and no waiting. What, you've ended up... Hold on, I wasn't happy with my inflection on that line. Were you? No, I wasn't. You want've ended up? Oh, no, I wasn't happy with my inflection on that line. Were you? No, I wasn't. You want to start again? Okay, yeah, yeah.

Your internet provider probably promised you this. No queues and no waiting. And what you've ended up with? Pause. What you've ended up with is... Because your provider is so oversubscribed that no one can go to the speeds they've promised. Oh, Megan.

Go again. Go again on that whole line. Okay. Hang on a sec. Hang on a sec. You need to pause when I leave a pause because it's supposed to show nothing. Oh, right. Okay.

Okay. What you've ended up with is because your provider is so oversubscribed that no one can go the speeds they've promised. Our humble company was raised here in Auckland, New Zealand. Birthed out of a garage. Oh. Do we want the old? That was real clunky.

That was a door fast. Hang on, I've got a... Hang on, do that to the line again. I've got an electric. That actually sounds like a garagearrador, which is another voice job I've had. No, the middle one. The middle one. Okay, yeah, okay. Our humble company...

Oh, I need the music. Nah, different one. Our humble company was raised here in Auckland, New Zealand. Birthed out of a garage... By a hustling husband and wife team, the Bermans, and they hate lines. Years on, and Streamline is now a nationwide team of Kiwis who also hate lines.

We want you to skip the queue with unlimited broadband with no data caps starting at $79 a month. You'll be sure to have fast internet at your fingertips. So skip the line with Streamline. That was good. Yeah! Wrap that up. Pull in the posts. And future, can we

just have a round of applause at the end of everything we voice? Absolutely! Yay! Yay! Thank you. I was waiting for the my voice? Absolutely. Yay! Thank you. Thank you. I was waiting for the turn. My favourite

was the electric garage door and the whole ad. That was my favourite. You liked that because you imagined it going up and it was the

humble but hustling hardworking husband and wife duo of the Bermans. Yes! And they hate lines. They absolutely do. They hate them. Alright, that's good. Wrap it up. Yes, yes. And they hate lines. They absolutely do.

They hate them. All right, that's good. Wrap it up. I've got an email address we can send that to. Brilliant. Done. If they don't get an A plus for that, you're welcome. Oh, we'll be off the charts.

Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Back to the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about the Swiss Army knife Okay You ever have a Swiss Army knife? Like in a fish eye to rip off, knock off Yeah, I had a rip-off, knock-off Swiss Army Knife.

Yeah, I had a knock-off one, but they're just stupid, aren't they? I don't like them. No, they were like a cool... My gran had always had one, and he used it on the farm all the time. What's an actual Swiss Army Knife? Because they have the ones that pull out. Yeah, so a Swiss Army Knife was just made by the company. Oh, okay.

No, I don't think I've ever had a flash one. And there were like rip-off ones, but they started the original one. Yeah. So in 1897, the original Swiss Army knife, which had input from the Switzerland Tourism Board. Okay. Because they'd become quite popular. People coming to Switzerland had seen the locals

with the famous red Swiss army knife with the white cross on the side. They were a very formidable army in those days, but then guns came along. Yes. And they started taking a knife to a gunfight. Yeah. And regardless of whether or not it had a spork on it,

a gun will always be more powerful than a spork. Before the gun, they could spork you in the eye. Oh, my God. They'd spork you to death. And that's why nobody wanted to fight the Swiss. No. Because they didn't want to have a Phillips screwdriver in the eye. So the original Swiss Army knife in 1897 had a red oak handle,

so it was a wooden handle, not a plastic handle that we've become used to. Yeah. A knife blade, a can opener, a screwdriver, and a reamer. I don't know what that is. A good reaming. A reamer tool. The can opener is a good one.

On the Swiss Army knife. If you're going camping, that's always handy. Do that. That's how you use that. You have to go and run the can. The can opener, that's a good one. A reamer is like a... what is a reamer tool? It's a type of rotary cutting tool used in metalworking. I thought it was a Christian radio network.

Is it not? That's what I thought of. Yeah, it had, of course, the knife, the can opener, and then you flicked it out and it would tell you what Jesus was doing. Good. What do they do in the mornings? Like their morning show? Are they just like, alright, here's a bit of the Bible.

Radio Rima? Yeah. Is it all just by Jesus? No, I don't think so. But do they do like wacky phone-in topics? No, no, no, not Radio Rima because it's for the old people. Oh, right. They've got a youth brand. Oh, okay. But Radio Rima's, yeah is a lot of biblical verses.

But do they do crazy phone-in calls? Probably. They do Psalm of the Day where they sing the intro song. Give us a call. Psalm of the Day, day, day, day, day, day. This is like a normal radio show with no blaspheming. No blaspheming. What do they do?

They say, Jesus Christ, they're talking about the person, not an exclamation of frustration. What do they do if they hit their shin on the fire extinguisher under the desk? Ouch. Oh, okay. Or they suck it up. They're like.

That's true. I never actually thought about that. Different strokes for different folks. So it had a reamer on it and a can opener and a screwdriver. Where do you keep your Bible? 0800-DARZATM. Or whatever they... Where do you...

I don't know. Don't they... I don't know. Beside the beer? On the shelf. I don't know. Next to the cookbooks. No, you wouldn't want to eat cookbooks.

You wouldn't even want to eat cookbooks. You might live in a bookshelf, but your cookbooks always live in its own. They live in a drawer, right? Oh, right. No, no, because some people have heaps of books. You know, but some people have a lot. A lot of cookbooks. Yeah, so they might have to be on the-

Okay, so if it's on a bookshelf, I can imagine it's somewhere near the Bible. Well, that's why it's a very fascinating topic. Give us a call. Carry on. We need to keep your Bibles. So what was I talking about? Swiss Army knife and the things it came with. But today's main fact about the Swiss Army knife is,

do you know why it's red? So if you drop it on the floor in the forest, you can see it. Not on the floor in the forest. Drop it into the ocean. What does it have lots of? Chocolate. No, milk. Drop it into the chocolate? What... Ocean. Ocean. What does it have lots of? Chocolate. No. Milk.

Drop it into the chocolate? What does Switzerland have lots of? Switzerland. You said lots of... Switzerland has lots of... Lakes. Not lakes. Mountains.

Mountains. What's on mountains? Snow. Oh, you're saying that if you dropped your knife into the snow, you could find it because the red stuck out the most against the colour of the snow. That's why a lot of the snow, you could find it because the red stuck out the most against the colour of the snow. Oh, that's why a lot of the snow markers and road markers in snowy places are orange and red because they stand out in the snow.

What road markers? You know, on the side of the road, there's always the white. Yes. And they have the little red reflector. And in snowy alpine passes, they'll be orange. So they stick out more. Well, that makes absolute sense. Yeah.

That's great. So today's fact of the day is that the Swiss Army Knife is red because it is the colour that was easiest to define when dropped in the snow. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're in lockdown and a lot of people are finding that their relationship has become strained. Maybe there's some more arguments happening in lockdown with your partner or even with your flatmates. So we thought we would get someone who knows about relationships on the phone to help us out. Margot Regan, who is a relationship addiction and sex therapist, joins us. Good morning, Margot. Good morning. How are you? Good.

Now, how's your lockdown been? Have you been coping? Do you know what? It's been getting busier for me, actually. Week one, people were rearranging appointments, but there's a lot of couples in distress at the moment, really looking for help. So would they be Zooming in? You're not obviously doing face-to-face. That's against the rules.

So how are you talking to people? Yep, doing Zoom and doing Skype sessions. I've been surprised, actually. Couples are telling me that they find it's pretty much the same. They're not noticing a difference. Wow, okay. Okay, that's good. That's good that they're not noticing a difference.

But you're seeing an increase. So people are finding this a stressful time Wow, okay. Okay, that's good. That's good that they're not going to see a difference, but you're seeing an increase. So people are finding this a stressful time on their relationships. Absolutely. People are together and it's starting to show. You know, we've got different types of, people do conflict differently, and I think it's really heightened at the moment. You've got some people

that are conflict seekers that really value openness and honesty. You've got other people that are conflict avoiders. And then you've got a mix of the two. So I see all three in my practice, and I'm just seeing it's really being heightened at the moment. So is there a common thing or something that you're seeing reoccurring that is causing arguments?

I think it's stress at the moment. It's how we manage that stress. How good am I at my self-awareness? Am I recognising that rain cloud before it comes in? Am I doing the necessary things to take time out for me? I use a green, orange, red traffic light

time out system with my couples. Green, I'm calm and relaxed and at ease. Orange, I'm starting to get heightened and I need a timeout. Where's my awareness on that scale? Am I able to say, I need to time out, take time for me to calm down? Or am I able to communicate that to my partner? And then what skills do I have? Do I go to the garage and do a few press-ups? Do I do a meditation? Do I play with the dog for a bit? What are my skills in being able to

calm myself back down? When people have got kids involved, I mean, that's another added sort of stressful situation and it might not be as easy to have the time out without feeling like you're just piling the kids onto the other person.

Absolutely. What's the situation dealing with that? Communication is so important. You know, if you can find a way to say, look, hon, can I take, I need to take two or three hours out on Saturday morning to take time out for me to go to a space in the house myself. Sometimes that might even be creating a meditation, working with each other. And then the other partner has time out on another day or that evening.

Right, okay, so you're just keeping it open and saying, look, I'll take a couple of hours here, but I will be giving you a couple of hours later on. Really work as a team, yep. Right, okay, teamwork. Is there pre-emptive measures that people can take to before it gets to the argument? Is there activities

or things we can do to try and stop the arguments happening? Yep, something when I learn like I didn't realise, you know when I, we invest thousands in formal education, but we don't learn communication skills.

There's certain ways of talking in a non-shaming, non-blaming way. Remember, conflict seekers want engagement with their partner. Conflict avoiders give me time out. That can be seen as disinterested. You're not, you want this connection from me. Being aware of skills to be able to communicate, I want connection with you without it coming across as blaming, shaming,

using you language. So I often say to couples, starting conversations with, I feel because and what I need is. Okay, that's pretty, that's an easy one to follow. Because, yeah, I've been to couples counselling before when I went through a divorce, and I still maintain that it's something that everyone should do,

even if you feel like you're in a good place in your relationship, because it helps with the communication. Because you think you know how to talk to someone, but you don't. Emotion gets involved. Absolutely. You know what? the communication because you think you know how to talk to someone but you I you don't emotion gets involved absolutely you know what I was in the same boat before I specialized in couples work it's a totally different skill set and I agree you know unfortunately there are couples that don't make it and they transition and I talk about transitioning into a different type of

relationship you know you're probably still going to be co-parenting together. How do you want that to be? You're going to have handovers with your kids. You're going to be at their birthdays and weddings. How do you want that to be? 100%. Well, thanks so much for joining us again, Margot. And I hope you are looking after yourself as well during this time.

Yeah, and you too, guys. Lots of self-care. Awesome. And you can visit relationshipcounselingtherapy.com. Margot, thank you so much. Thank too, guys. Lots of self-care. Awesome. And you can visit relationshipcounselingtherapy.com. Margot, thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Homeschool during lockdown, a segment of the show where we give you the homework and you report back to us the next day with a 60-second presentation on that subject.

Now, just before we get to Georgia with today's presentation, Elise, good morning. Good morning. We need to set you some homework for tomorrow. Thank you. I need something to do. Well, you must choose either a 60-second presentation on traffic lights or New Zealand's most controversial Prime Minister,

Robert Muldoon. I'm doubling up on Muldoon. You really want someone to pick Muldoon, don't you? Yeah, I'm doing it. And my topic is horseshoes. Horseshoes? Yeah. Okay.

Interesting. I think I'm going to go with traffic lights. I really want someone to pick Muldoon. I'm going to do my own presentation on Robert Muldoon. No, you don't. Someone will pick it. So hang in there, mate. Hang in there.

All right, Elise, we will hear your presentation tomorrow on traffic lights. 60 seconds. Good luck. Georgia, welcome back to class. Hi, guys. Hi. All right, now you've had a whole day to prepare your 60-second assignment on high-rise construction cranes and how do they get them down.

Georgia, have you done your study? I have done my studies, guys. Okay, well, you have 60 seconds to present starting now. All righty, right. So I found it very interesting that cranes are only made up of two parts, which is the mast, which is like the tower that you see,

and then the slew, which is the top of the mast, and that allows the crane to rotate. So I found it interesting that when they set up the crane, it starts with a smaller crane. So yes, they do use another crane to set up the machinery. And then the crane basically builds itself up from the ground.

Or they can be helicoptered in if they need to support the building from the outside. And then before that, they have to make a base to secure the crane in place, which is basically like a massive concrete slab that weighs like 180,000 kilograms. Wow. So really, really heavy. And then when they don't need the crane to take the top of the original crane, which is where the person sits in, and they use the crane to take that off and then they keep using the crane to disassemble the crane.

So to build cranes, you just need to use another crane. Right. So how does that other crane get down? I don't know. I think what I found is that... You don't know. That's not what you say during a presentation. Carry on, Georgia.

Is that what they... Is they just use one crane to build all the other cranes? Maybe it's a different type of crane that's not required to be set up the same way. So they can use really small ones for the initial part, and then for the other parts they use a helicopter to helicopter the parts in. Right. Interesting. I'm going to need to see a video.

Did you find videos of this online, Georgia? I did. Okay. And I guess it just depends on whether the crane will be on the inside of the building or the outside of the building. Okay, right. Yeah, if the crane's on the inside of the building, then people can disassemble it themselves. Right.

With other machinery. If it's on the outside, then they use another crane or a helicopter. Right. Huh, okay. Good. Huh. Okay. Good to know. You've also made her do much longer than a minute. Close enough.

George, a fantastic presentation. I'm going to give you an A for that. Oh, thanks, guys. Vaughn? I think you should have gone with Robert Muldoon. Totally. Yesterday would have been way more up your alley.

You're really stuck on the Robert Muldoon. I'm really stuck on the Robert Muldoon. Controversial New Zealand for my Prime Minister. Yes. Vaughan, what's your mark? I'm going to have to go B. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

I'm going to have to go B. This isn't fair because you made Georgia go for longer and you had follow-up questions. No one else has had to do follow-up questions. It's supposed to just to go B. This isn't fair because you made Georgia go for longer and you had follow-up questions. No one else has had to do follow-up questions. It's supposed to just be a presentation. Okay. Well, what's your mark? The answer's clear enough there are initial presentations.

What's your mark, Megan? The answer's that you had. I'm going to give her an A. I think she fulfilled her brief. An A. An A average there, Georgia. Congratulations. Thanks, guys.

We have a certificate for you, a homeschool certificate. Never doubt the mount. She's made, a homeschool certificate. Oh. Never doubt them out. She's made us a lot of certificates. Yeah. So that'll be coming out to you in due time. Have a fantastic Easter, Georgia. No, we just email them the certificate.

Oh, do we? It's PDF. So then we don't even have to print it. Oh, that's so good. Saving the planet. The digital certificate. Fantastic. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen tooan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music, lives here. ZM.