ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 9th 2020

Episode Date: April 8, 2020

Fake McDonalds  Top 6 things to do in line for the Supermarket  Homeschool!  Nadia Lim  Fridge Bingo: Celebrity Edition  Long Weekend Group Toot: Driveway Edition!  Comedians in Iso: Guy MontgomerySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Fauna, Megan. The podcast. Hey guys, just a quick message before the podcast gets underway. Yes, this is our last podcast for two weeks. We are taking a holiday. We're taking a break. Oh yeah, because we're all going away, aren't we? Fletch is bitter because he's not going to Coachella. Neither of us two had anything planned.

Yeah. No, Vorm is going to go to a tropical island Yeah, but that was Oh, okay That was poo-pooed a long time ago Yeah, but it's all a bit trivial Isn't it? Very trivial What's happening in the world

Very trivial So we'll be in our bubble staying home Using up our leave Which obviously brings the company's spreadsheet down Which is a good thing Yep You can find us on social media Yep

If you message us, that'd be great because we message back, we can actually charge that as working and do that as an hour or part thereof. So just replying to one message an hour means that we've worked that whole hour and we can charge the company.

Oh, so we don't even need to have holidays if we're on Instagram, is that what you're saying? No, we're working at a contractor's hourly rate and it's all completely tax deductible and we can claim back our GST on any purchase. Someone's doing their taxes. Someone has set aside one of Easter's days

to be like, tax time. But yeah, have a fantastic break, Easter break. We will be back with our first show on Tuesday the 28th of April. Stay safe. Safe. of April. Stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe.

Stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe. Have a fantastic Easter. Are you saying it wrong on purpose? No, she can't do it. Go do it again. Stay safe. Go do it again. Stay. Stay safe. Go do it again.

Stay safe. Yay! God, I just wanted to say something nice. Jesus. Yeah. It's hard for a bitch like you. Your brain literally is like, no, we're not wired for this. All right, holiday time.

All right, yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Some Auckland parents have treated their kids to a dinner and they teased this the whole week. This is main. Well, the intention was good. Yeah.

So they teased them with a special dinner. Like all week they said Friday, special dinner, special dinner. And the two of them, the mum and the dad, work for a signage company. So they do print design and signage. That's what made this easier for them. Okay. So on Friday, they created fake McDonald's for their kids.

They went out and sourced cardboard, printed the actual logos and the Big Mac packaging on the cardboard, folded it up into a box, made it look exactly like it was takeaways from McDonald's. They had the fries and red McDonald's packaging. They even had plastic cups with an M put on them. They had the printout on a tray. So they made it look like it had literally come from McDonald's. If you just walked around the corner,

like the packaging's not exactly the same. It's pretty similar. But. If you just walked around the corner, like the packaging's not exactly the same. It's pretty similar. Yeah. But if you would just walk around the corner and saw like those fries sticking out and the red and the logos, you'd be like, just a quick glance. Yeah.

Yeah. There was no video with the story though. It's just photos, wasn't it? Yeah. The kids look really stoked. But even when they told them that it wasn't real, they were really impressed and said it tasted just like it.

So they even went out and tried to make the Big Macs look the same. Well, you can get the sauce now, can't you? The Waddy's burger sauce. The burger sauce is very similar. Yeah. But it even had like the, you know how it's got the extra bread

in the middle of the Big Mac? Can't they do that? Well, just put it in there. Well, you get a thick bun and then you cut the top of it. You slice the bun. She was disappointed she couldn't get sesame buns.

Ah, right. They're not sesame. What kind of buns did she roll for? I found a brioche bun on last week's shop. It looks like a brioche bun, doesn't it? Like it's a smooth. It makes top. Yeah.

It just looks like a normal bun. I don't know. It just looks like a burger bun. What size? Also, because those buns are smaller. Yeah, it's small. She didn't go into details with the buns. What was the toy in the Happy Meal?

It wasn't a Happy Meal. I guess it's not that great, is it? There was nuggies. Is that going to impress you? Mm-mm. Okay. Toy in the Happy Meal. Wow.

Claire, that didn't waste all that time and energy on you. Toy in the Happy Meal on a paper straw, please. Imagine if your parents had done that and you're like, this is rubbish. Interesting. It's been all week trying to make a treat for you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, Easter weekend kicks off. You might not be doing that much more different to what you've been doing all week,

but for people who have been working, perhaps it is some time off. Yeah. And we have also been hearing since the start of level four lockdown that we shan't be planning any excursions for the Easter weekend. Yeah. So it should not come as any news to anybody that the police are going to be having checkpoints to ensure that we aren't gallivanting. Oi, oi.

Going to the batch. checkpoints to ensure that we aren't gallivanting. I saw a news story yesterday saying that some residents in Turingi, because, you know, a lot of people have batches there on the lake, had been arriving in, like, the dead of night, just to, like, turn up so that they don't get busted or seen. Yesterday, was it yesterday or the day before, Megan and I take the same section of Northwestern Motorway to work, and I said, very few cars on the road. And you noted the same.

This morning, what did you think? More? Oh, I didn't see many this morning. Oh, I saw more this morning. Really? You think people are already on the road? I was curious. Are they like, police don't work when it's dark?

You know the police? They can't see in the dark. Yeah, okay. They're nocturnal. Police are nocturnal. Did you not know that? No, the other of nocturn see in the dark. Yeah, okay. They're nocturnal. Police are nocturnal. Did you not know that? No, the other of nocturnal. The other nocturnal.

Oh, yeah. Opposite of nocturnal. Day-turnal. Day-turnal. Day-turnal. Nocturnal, tap-turnal. Dark-turnal. Yeah.

That sounded German. That sounded about right. Okay, the opposite of nocturnal is diurnal. D-I-U-R-N-A-L. Diurnal. Diurnal. Ooh, learning already. Learning at only 17 past six.

Can you get one of those Google pronunciations for that? Because I don't know. You don't trust me. No. Diurnal. No. Well,al. No. Well, it's just the first time you see a word and you hear how it's pronounced.

It's kind of how you chuck it in the old memory bag. Well, I don't have my, I'll turn my speakers right up. Here we go. Diurnal. Diurnal. Diurnal. Diurnal. Oh, she's got a lovely voice.

Nocturnal. So are we diurnal? But technically we are still awake and stuff when it's dark. What's it called when you're both? Oh, I don't know. Biurnal or diurnal? So are we diurnal? But technically we are still awake and stuff when it's dark. What's it called when you're both? Oh, I don't know. Biurnal. Biurnal. But then sometimes if I'm in the middle of the road

and a ute comes around the corner, I just stare at the lights. Right. So what does that make me? A possum. I think. I think. That's good. That's good from you.

You really tickled me. So animals that are active at sporadic times during both night and day are cathemal. Cathemal. Do you need another pronunciation guide on that? Okay, it's like thermal. It's like cat and then thermal. Cathemal. But it doesn't have the R before the M.

Cathemal? Cathemeral. Cathathermal. But it doesn't have the R before the M. Cathemal? Cathemeral. Cathemeral. What have you got there? What are you Googling? I mean, no, I just Googled it, didn't I? Yeah. Is there a pronunciation guide?

No. There's not for that one. Okay. Anyway. Cathermal. Well, I have no idea what we were talking about. Oh, the police checkpoints. Farisa, don't go away.

The police are like Kiwis. They can't come out unless it's dark. No, you're not going to outsmart them. You should never be trying because I tell you what can't be outsmarted, a virus. All right? We're doing all right. We're flattening the curve, but we're far from out of the tunnel.

So I want you to know. We're out of the woods. The light at the end of the tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel. We're not out of the woods yet. We're not out of the tunnel. So I want you to know. It's out of the woods. The light at the end of the tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel. We're not out of the woods yet. We're not out of the woods yet. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but we're not out of the woods yet.

Very confusing tunnel in the woods. And we've come around the corner and you're just standing on the tracks like this. Bright light. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So we're all in lockdown.

We're at home and we're doing a little bit less. Some people still getting lots of exercise. That's good. I've been doing little workouts at home, but you still feel really tired doing nothing. And a doctor has said that the reason your energy levels go down when you're doing nothing is kind of like a never-ending circle. This is like a bit of a telling off too.

Right. When you are lacking in any sort of physical activity, your body spends most of its time in the same position, whether that be sitting down, lying down for long periods of time. Its ability to take in oxygen decreases and you notice a big drop in energy levels and motivation. So the reason you're feeling tired and lethargic after doing nothing all day is because you're allowing your body to feel that way

from the lack of movement and stimulation. Right, so get up. So the less you do, the more tired you'll feel. But then it's hard if you're stuck in your home, isn't it? Yeah. People might not have a backyard or things to pot around and do, so you do end up not doing much. But yeah, get out for a walk.

Mm-hmm. I guess even if you go around the block a couple of times every couple of hours, that might help. I've just never noticed how many different, like on YouTube, actual workout routines and videos there are just for free. Yeah, there's so many. And you just chuck it on. And even if you don't do the whole thing.

Or even if you just like. Sounds too expensive. Because some of the exercise you're like, that's too hard. I'll skip that one. Yeah, right. But you're still doing something. Doing something, yeah. Yeah.

So it's moving around and getting the oxygen in that will help you feel less tired. Yeah, it's like travelling. It's like when you travel, you're not doing anything, but you're always so tired when you get there. Yeah, because when you fly on a plane or something, you're like, why am I so naked? I sat there. But, yeah, you're just sitting there not breathing in much oxygen.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Guys, there's great news. Good news. Okay. Well, we need good news. Good news. Okay. Well, we need good news. We love good news. It's nothing at all related to COVID-19, and it's great news for New Zealand.

This is what we need. Dunedin has won back officially the title of the world's steepest street. That's great news. Great news. Put down your drink bottle and clap. I was just having a little drink there. Celebratory tipple. Yes.

Of water. This is gin. So you may remember a story that came out mid last year. Because, you know, this happened, what, over a year ago. The shocking news that a, it was like a windy road in Wales. Street in Wales. Yes, and one tiny section of it. One tiny section claimed the steepest street.

And Guinness Book of World Records came out and said, yes, this Welsh town has the steepest street. And Dunedin was not having a bar of it. We were not happy about it, were we? Not at all. At the time. Because even looking at photos, it didn't look, the whole thing wasn't as steep.

It was one little tiny bit. And how underwhelming would that be if you went to Wales, you're like, I'm going to go on the steepest street, and you realise it's just a little section. I know. You feel absolutely robbed. Yeah. Well, it happened in June last year.

The Welsh town in Harlach took over the record. But Guinness Book of World Records have reversed its decision. Now, this comes off the back of a Dunedin surveyor or a group led by a guy called Toby. They included in their presentation to Guinness Book of World Records a three-dimensional shape, a comparative survey. And they've said that the findings revealed show that Dunedin Street is the steepest because you've actually got to measure from the central axis. Right.

The centre line of the road. Right. I don't know what any of that means, but they have... They sound like smart people who have figured it out. They actually went to Wales. Did they? And apparently the Welsh town's got a great sense of humour about this. They're finding this hilarious.

So they're not upset. Are we a bit more serious about it? Well, we flew to Wales, Megan, with surveying equipment. Yes, we're serious about this. Didn't they hire the equipment when they got there? Or did they take their own? I'd imagine you'd take your own. You couldn't trust their Welsh equipment.

Hire quip. Or as the Welsh call it, high H-I-E-A-U thing with a thing over it. Quip. Quip. So, Baldwin Street has a steeper gradient, 34.8 compared to 28.6. So not even close. Not even close. But yeah, so Dunedin officially now the steepest street again,

which is fantastic news. That's good. I don't know when people are going to be able to say that. Well, when the tourists come back, they can again flock to Baldwin Street. We'll have a lovely new sign ready. Yeah, great, great news though. The top six next on the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM.

From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there, lines at the supermarket. Something that we're perhaps not used to, but we'll be getting used to now, two weeks into lockdown, and we'll be for the next little while. But hey, at least we still can get food, can't we? Exactly. We can still get there, we can still eat. It's all there.

And of course, tomorrow being Good Friday, supermarkets will be shut. Yes, but they're open on the Sunday, but not all supermarkets open on Sunday. Yeah, but they're open on the Sunday, but not all supermarkets open on Sunday. Yeah, but they've got the option, haven't they? Yes, they do. Opening it on Saturday.

Don't panic. Don't worry. So the top six things to do to pass the time in a supermarket queue. This is a user submitted. This is a listener submitted. Is it? Top six suggestion,

which I'm always down for. Well, people doing your work. Because the screen cap you said didn't have her name in it. Mountie had her name in it. Mountie's not here. Mountie's doing poos. Toilet. She's shaking it out.

She's doing wheeze. We're playing charades. Producer. Do you stand to wee? A lot of spray. And boogie. Good Lord, what an absolute shambles. So the top six things to do to pass the time in a supermarket queue.

Number six, open up the old dating app. See who's in the queue. But if you match, wave, not touch. Yeah. No touch. Save it till after ISO. Yes, build it up. Yep.

Build it up. Keep them on the edge of their seat. Oh, when this isolation's over, I'm going to give you such a kiss on the edge of their seat. Oh, when this isolation's over, I'm going to give you such a kiss on the mouth. Yeah, I hope people are going to update their photos, though, to include their isolation weight. Absolutely not. I mean, if we can all agree that we're all put on weight.

Oh, yeah, exactly. I think everyone knows there'll all be a couple of kgs extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things to do to pass time in the supermarket queue. Go over your list and add some more treats because you need treats. You'd be surprised how many treats you can get through.

Treats have actually moved their way down a step on the food pyramid. Because of isolation. Congratulations, treats. When we're at the supermarket, we're like, if we don't buy them, we won't eat them.

But then you get home and then when you want treats, you just get real angry. I know. I was like that last night. Pass me is an idiot. It's like, should have got treats.

Yeah. Yeah. You dumb fool. Number four on the list of the top six things to do to pass the time in the supermarket queue. Look up some fire

COVID-19 memes to share with your pals. Memes are getting us through this, eh? Yeah. Memes are the only good thing about this. Until there's a vaccination, memes are doing a slap up job. Number three on the list of the top six things to do to pass the time in the supermarket queue. Scratch the name of your reusable shopping bag that comes from another supermarket. You've got the time.

I don't particularly, I'm not particularly worried about that. But I did see somebody holding theirs with shame last week. Oh, really? I know I get real weird about it. But then you're not going to be able to, everyone's going to see your bright red New World bag at Countdown. Yeah. I feel like we're not weird about that anymore. No.

Are we? I don't care anymore. At the start I did. I was like, oh my God. I feel like we're not weird about that anymore. No. Are we? I still feel a bit like... I don't care anymore. At the start I did. I was like, oh my God. I feel like Countdown's judging me. Or whatever supermarket, they're like, oh, you've been cheating on us, have you? Interesting. Number two on the list of the top six things to do to pass time in the supermarket queue

are write some poetry about the director of general health, Ashley Bloomfield. Oh, yeah. Here's what I wrote. Of course he did. Okay. There was a man named Ashley. He delivers crucial health information flashly. He's the director general of health.

Out of 10, he's a 12th. And I'd love to give him a pashly. Oh, that was really good It's in limerick form I've never been good at haiku because I can't count syllables Very well at all I just found some romantic music I can do it again

So much nicer There is a man Called Ashley Who delivers crucial health information So flashly There is a man called Ashley who delivers crucial health information so flashly. He's the Director General of Health. Out of 10, he's a 12. And I'd love to give him a pashley. It's really good.

He's so great. Yeah. He's so great. Okay. You can write it about any of the heroes of this situation if you like. Yeah. You could one outgoing police commissioner Mike Bush. Yeah.

Oh, lots would rhyme with Bush. Mush. I would like to mush. Mush my bush on his tush. Thank you for your service, Bush. Smush. Smush bush. Thank you for your service, bush. Smush. Smush on bush. Do you want the romantic music for that as well?

No, no, no. Okay. Okay. Okay. There was a man called Bush who had a cute little tush. Outgoing Commissioner of Police. What was

a police? Why did I end on police? Um. Tease. Um. Nah.

I panicked. The outgoing Commissioner of Police. He makes me weak at the knees. It'll do. And I'd love to smush my bush on his bush. What's his bush?

His face. Okay. It was lovely. It was good under pressure. It was very good. God, I feel like I might do limericks over the break. Could be your thing. Yeah.

Okay, number one on the list of the top six things to do to pass time in the supermarket queue. Practice your TikTok dancing. It's a good time to practice and no one will want to be anywhere near you while you're doing it. So that's a good way to keep that two-meter rule in place. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. On this morning, it's a UK breakfast TV, basically. Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby on the show.

They were discussing Jacinda, Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern's speech about the Easter Bunny being an essential worker and the tooth fairy. I saw this yesterday morning. It had been shared a lot in the UK. It was one of those kind of, in this whole doom and gloom COVID world, it was one of those kind of stories that stood out because it was cute. It was nice.

But also the underlying message that, you know, kids are struggling through all of this, and parents might not know how to deal with their kids. And so, you know, like the teddy bears in the window. Yeah. Putting, I saw a lot of these actually yesterday on my bike ride around my neighbourhood. Teddy bears in the window and the Easter egg cutouts.

Yeah, you print them out, colour them in. I've got coloured pencils. I'm going to go to arts and crafts. I'm going to do this. Yeah, do that. So you can just download the, they've got one up there. I've got a. Can I colour it in?

A print offable colouring in one. Print it off at work because it's free. Oh, yeah, but I've got a printer at home. Do you want to use your printer? I've got a new ink cartridge sent to the mail side. Can't order. Oh, did you? Yeah.

Because I'm out of ink. Oh, you can still get cartridges. That's what they want you to believe, man. You can still get your cartridges delivered to your door. I had no idea. Just don't touch the courier, please. It's my office, isn't it? I don't need to print anything, but when I do, when this is over,

I'm going back to order some ink. So Holly and Philip, they were very complimentary of Jacinda, but they had a UK radio talkback host. His name is Nick, and he thought her comments were not great. Philip, my problem is the expression frontline workers. Of course the Easter Bunny should come. Essential workers, she said. Essential workers.

Because when I stand and applaud every Thursday at 8pm, I am not applauding the Easter Bunny. I'm applauding the nurses and the doctors and the anaesthetists and the ambulance drivers and the idea of the Easter Bunny. Of course I want the Easter Bunny. I'm applauding the nurses and the doctors and the anaesthetists and the ambulance drivers and the idea of the Easter Bunny. Of course I want the Easter Bunny to come this weekend. Of course the Easter Bunny will come and the Tooth Fairy for Holly's child as well. Of course, of course.

But let's not liken them to clinicians who are putting their lives on the line. Essential workers. She never called them frontline workers. It's not all essential workers are doing, like, saving lives, aka we're here. But I think he's just missing the point, really, eh? Totally. Because he's a grumpy

old prick. Totally. But yeah, it was actually insane how much this was being debated in the UK yesterday. Madness. Like, online and in comments and stuff. It was just like, guys, we just needed a little bit of cute. And she just needed a wee, just a reminder that, you know, it's still Eastern. Yeah, but because it's from someone from the

different side of the political spectrum from when that girl said so, and regardless of what she said, he has to disagree with it. She could have said, also, I think it's a great idea not to just do wheezing your pants while we're in quarantine. And he would have been like, well, actually, I enjoy doing wheezing my pants. Like, it's just that sort of dumb, have to stand opposite. And, I mean, we've got those people here in New Zealand, don't we?

Talkback hosts. Not pointing anywhere in particular right now. Upstairs. But, you know, they just have to take that position. Yeah. Because there's, I don't know, it's dumb. It's not the time to be doing that. It doesn't feel like the time where that is beneficial to anybody whatsoever.

No. Play a game. 12 past 7. Next on the show, we're going to talk about our binge-worthy suggestions for this long Easter weekend. Although, just for you being stuck inside for another couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that too. Because I think we're all looking for something to binge.

Multiple things to binge. All right, we'll go to the next. Well, like food. That too. That too. Fleshfawner Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Calvin Harris. Sam sums up every argument we have. Promises. No, you're wrong. You like it different to the way I do. You're wrong. You're wrong. Megan was just trying to tell me that if Russian fudge is creamy and it doesn't have texture, that that's made wrong.

But I disagree. I was like, what texture are you talking about? You said like sugary granules. Not like hard out, but it's got to have a texture. You've done it properly. No. Creamy Russian fudge is yuck. Yuck.

It's like that overproduced. It means all your sugar's dissolved, doesn't it? Yeah, I would have thought it just meant that somebody had dissolved the sugar. Had done it right. You're wrong. You are wrong. We're going to go around the room now ahead of the long weekend and continued isolation and go through some of the shows

that we think you should binge if you haven't already. Yeah. Over the long weekend slash next couple of weeks of isolation. Now, I think. This has really just made me realize how many streaming services I'm paying for. Yeah. Because I went to log into them to see, like, what I had watched, and I've got Neon, Netflix, Disney+, and Amazon Prime open.

Oh, I got rid of... I did all of Mandalorian in a week and cancelled Disney+. I'm like, okay, this... No, Disney+, it is good. Today, I got my Amazon Prime came up on my credit card. Do you always get it and you're like, I must cancel that? And then you never do. Nah.

$11 later, must cancel that. I always log on to have a look and there's something else in there. I'll be like, no, no, I can't because I want to get back to that. So I think it goes without saying, before we go around the room for one streaming show from each. I've got multiple. Well, a multiple, but everybody wants to or should be watching Tiger King. we go around the room for one streaming show from each. Oh, I've got multiple. Everybody's... Well, a multiple, but everybody wants to

or should be watching Tiger King. That goes without saying. Yeah. If you haven't already. I don't know how you could have seen all the memes and not watched it. Yeah. My mum, not my mum.

I wouldn't say to my mum, you should watch this because it's the sort of thing she would just think was bloody stupid. Do you think my parents would be into it? I reckon they would be.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a little bit of... Right, a little bit of mongrel. There's a little bit of Carole Baskin in your mum. Yeah, okay. There's a little bit of Baskin. Yeah, totally.

So you have to say the service provider, the program, and are we doing a treat accompaniment? A treat? Like what lollies to watch? What lollies to consume while watching this show. This is why I said Russian fudge before, isn't it? Got you excited. Yeah, because we talked about a word like a treat sommelier.

Yeah, sommelier. Sommelier. The person that will recommend a wine to accompany your meal. We're going to recommend what treats are best to... Aside from Tiger King, the last show I finished was The Outsider, which is on Neon. Yes. And that's Stephen King.

Yes. Who was it? Jason Bateman was in that. Jason Bateman was in it. The main guy is that Australian actor. He was in Rogue One. That guy. Oh, God.

Was he the detective? Is he Australian? Yeah, yeah, he's Australian. He was in that other show I watched, which was set in Florida, about the family. And he was like the outcast son. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's Australian. He was in that, the other show I watched, which was set in Florida about the family, and he was like the outcast son. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. Ben, Ben, Michael, Ben Mendelsohn.

Right. We have Google right in front of us. No, I've got a lot of brain too, bro. Naturally, that painful 10 seconds could have been a lot less. Ben Mendelsohn. Yeah, that's his name. He's great. Go on.

Well, no, that's all. What treat would you couple with the outsider? Russian fudge or Maltesers. Maltesers. You know Maltesers is an absolute go-to. Or a bag of little dinosaurs. You know, like lolly dinosaurs. Yeah, don't try the dinosaur bag.

But I don't like the yellow dinosaurs. Yeah, so what I do is I eat all the purple, the reddy ones. What is your issue with yellow lollies? I don't know. No one likes yellow. No one likes is your issue with yellow lollies? I don't know. No one likes yellow. No one likes yellow jelly beans, yellow lollies. Yellow and orange always gets me. So I leave, yeah, the yellow and orange.

I'm not sure we agree on something. Same, yeah. And then I'm like, I'm still hungry. I'll guess I'll eat the yellow one. Yeah, begrudgingly eat them at the end. I know. It's horrible. Why don't they make the whole pack purple?

No one likes the yellow. Again, you're just assuming everybody is on board with your taste and if they disagree with you, you'll just scream at them. You're wrong. Also, also great. Speaking of neon,

they've got the latest Curber enthusiasm. In fact, they've got all 10 seasons. Season 10 just finished. One of the funniest TV shows ever written. I'm just looking at what

they've got. They've got all of sort of HBO shows. Yeah, they do. They've got Westworld season three. Yep. They've got a new show. This looks good Yeah, they do. They've got Westworld Season 3. Yep. They've got a new show.

This looks good. It's called The Plot Against America. I'm interested. They have Handmaid's Tale, right? If you've never watched any of that, a good time to catch up. Do they have Handmaid's Tale? No, that's Lightbox.

Lightbox had that. Did they just buy them though? Lightbox. Somebody bought Lightbox. Yeah. Dave is a new sitcom that's out. It's got that rapper guy in it. He's the main guy, the white rapper.

Post Malone. Little Dickie. Yeah. Little Dickie. The whole premise is how small his penis is in the rap community. Yeah, right. I'm sure there's more to the show. Megan, go around the room.

On Netflix at the moment moment I'm watching Dear Me which we all got into cheerleading from Chair This is about cheerleaders but it's a little bit more dark It's what's the TV show with Zendaya Euphoria A little bit Euphoria meets Chair and I would

suggest having a nice apple pie with that Okay It hasn't been released yet, but it's going to be on Amazon Prime that World Health Organization, Global Citizens, One World Together at Home. That's that concert that's going to be happening

with Lady Gaga, Paul McCartney, Billie Eilish. Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert are hosting. Wow, right. So yeah, that's coming. 19th of April. Okay, I've got yeah, that's coming. 19th of April. Okay.

I've got a lot to choose from. A lot to recommend. I still haven't finished McMillions, but I'm captivated by it. The reason I didn't get to finish that was because it was coming out weekly and we were like, well, let's just hold on to it.

That's the story of the guys that ripped off McDonald's Monopoly. Yeah, right. And how they did it. Yeah, and how they did it. And they did it for a long time, how much money they stole, everything like that. That's on Neon.

That's a good watch. Frozen 2 is out on Disney+. Oh, I watched it. I haven't watched it. Can you tell? Mate, you could have watched it a lot, and that would still be how you would interpret that. Yeah, right.

That's it. So Frozen 2's out. That's good. And also I've got to recommend my Star Wars. Matt. Yeah. Star Wars shows, movies, all of that content there. That's a good time to binge all that. Mountie, what are you watching in the moment

that sounds really good? On Netflix. About drugs or something Why can't we hear Mountie? What's happening? Oh no We've got a headphone issue Hello

What's the show that you said Is good on Netflix About drugs? So I actually haven't Watched it yet But everyone's saying That How to Fix a Drug Scandal Is the next Tiger King

Oh okay I watched the trailer of it It's two women Who were working in a lab, but they were also addicted to methamphetamine. So they're saying, I'm not sure whether or not they contaminated drug cases, or they were like skimming drugs off the top to feed their habit,

or making people look guilty. Crime slash drug, doco. They said in the trailer, 20,000 people look guilty. Crime slash drug, doco. They said in the trailer 20,000 people could have drug convictions reversed because of the

interfering with crucial evidence. Huh. Sounds fascinating. Okay, here you go. A whole lot of stuff for you to watch over the

long weekend slash lockdown. You guys, you went apple pie, you went Russian fudge. I'm going to go for a savoury, just a chip.

Oh, okay. A chip of your choosing. Oh, yeah. A bag of chips. So plain. Good old baggers. A bag of chips. You can't get past a bag of chips.

I'm not saying really salted bag of chips. No. I'm saying choose your flavour. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Home school. Oh, that your cult's ripped right through me. I had my first ever Yakult. Everybody's bringing in home baking, but producer Jared said,

oh, I can't bake, so I've just brought in a Yakult for everybody. Everybody gets to have a Yakult. He wanted to bake yesterday, but he didn't have the ingredients. Don't say he can't bake. There was no ingredients in the supermarket for what he wanted to bake. Two and a half teaspoons of sugar in it. There's a lot of sugar in Yakult. You was no ingredients in the supermarket for what he wanted to make. There's like two and a half teaspoons of sugar in it. There's a lot of sugar in it. You've got to buy the sugar-free ones.

Do they have sugar-free ones? Yeah, they do. The blue ones. Oh, that's quite fun. Because you know I love a probiotic. I'm definitely going to need a perp for it. You should have another one then. No.

Well, no, because you're at this time. We've got a very busy half hour. We've got Nadia Lim. hour We've got Nadia Lim Then we've got Celebrity fridge bingo Shots Shots Shots

Shots Shots I will shit my pants Do you want that Can you do all six In that pack No Like a glass

Is it that song Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots

Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots

Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots

Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots

Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots

Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots All right, it's time for homeschool. Oh, yeah. Elise joins us. Good morning, Elise. Good morning, guys. Now, we gave you the homework yesterday for homeschool. You did. You did. Traffic lights was your subject.

Now, you have, Elise, one minute to deliver us your 60-second presentation on traffic lights. Are you ready? I hope so. All right, go for it. All right, you're probably expecting me to tell you guys that, you know, the first traffic light was installed in London in 1868 and that there's also a town in Iceland where the red lights are in the shape of a heart to help make people feel happier. But I'm actually going to take you on a different journey

to a better time when we were all allowed to leave the house and take our families out to dinner and order a drink. A Cobb & Co classic mocktail, the traffic light. Oh, yes! Do you guys remember sitting there eating your Cobb Crunchies and thinking, how is this drink layered? Yes, yes, yes. Tell us.

How? Well, the three liquids typically used are berry cordial, orange juice, and green food coloring. And each of these liquids has a different density. So density is a measure of mass to volume. Okay? Yeah. And so it effectively tells you how much matter is in an object. Okay.

And these liquids are also miscible, which means that they might mix together. Well, actually, they will mix together if you're not really careful. So the trick to not getting a, you know, poo brown drink is to pop the straw down the side of the glass and pour the OJ first and then pour the cordial down the bottom of the straw. And that's going to let the cordial fall to the bottom without actually dissolving into the orange juice. And then you just pop the green food colouring on the top and make sure that you don't stir it. Common misconception there.

So you're telling me the green food colouring, the green in the traffic light was nothing more than food colouring? It was nothing more than green food colouring. What did you think it tasted like? I figured it was something. Elise, that brilliant presentation. I like how you took traffic

lights and made it your own. You took us on a journey there. Even a little fact about actual traffic lights. I'm giving you an A plus, Elise. Oh, thank you. Brilliant presentation. Really made it your own. If I could just sweeten the deal slightly, and I did have one rumour that I heard was that in 1984, Traffic Lights was a bit of vodka

and it was what Robert Muldoon was drinking. Yay! Muldoon had a sweet tooth. There's no denying it. Yes, former Prime Minister Vaughan, you're great. It's an A-plus for me. A-plus, yeah, there we go. Yeah, I like A-plus.

I googled those heart traffic lights too. That's a thing. Yeah. Thank you. Great work, Elise. You're a top student of the week too. Top student. Woo-hoo.

Yeah, it's our first clean sweeps of A-plus. Have a fantastic Easter, Elise. Thank you so much, guys. And we have a PDF homeschool certificate for you in the post. I will have to hang it next to my degree. I would say so. Yeah, I mean, we'll just use the degree frame. Just put it over the top.

Yeah. Because the degree's still in there. Yeah. And being kept for later. Yeah, exactly. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. It starts Monday the 13th of April.

It is a brand new daytime cooking series from Nadia Lim. It's called Nadia's Comfort Kitchen, and she joins us right now. Good morning, Nadia. Morning. How are you guys? Good. Now, Nadia, will there be any slices on this show? Because I've, from memory, your Instagram, there have been in the past some delicious slices.

Yeah, there sure will be. Actually, do you know how bizarre great men think alike? Yeah. Just before you called, I was literally toughening up my recipe for Ochi caramel slice that's going to feature today. That's so what I love, Nadia! Yeah, and we're going to go on a little picnic in our own backyard. So how are you filming this?

Have these been filmed or are you just kind of, what's the deal? It's my husband, my husband Carlos, who's not a professional cameraman, has been filming them. Wow. Good work, Carlos. So mostly on my iPhone

and then we use the professional camera a little bit and then we upload all of the footage to Beauty for Technology and then a production team who is in Auckland,

I think. I think they're in Auckland. They edited it from home. Now, a lot of us... It's all done. It was in the bubble. That's cool. A lot of us are putting on some quarantine weight.

How's Carlos going, if you're cooking up all these slices? Oh, no, he's going good. He's an essential worker, being a farmer, so he's still out there working away. Oh, burning it off. No, he's got two jobs, yeah. So my dad's a farmer and the dude eats nothing but sweet treats all day long and still never puts on any weight. Yeah, that's like his dad.

Hey, Nadia, while we've got you on the phone, quick question. I saw on your Instagram a little while ago, you found a dilapidated coal range in a paddock and you wanted to restore it. Did you get it restored or have you found? What's the deal? Let's talk. I found a few options. I haven't got it restored yet.

I think it's quite expensive to do it. Yes, I was thinking that's going to be very expensive to get done because it looked like genuinely very old. Yeah, I have no idea. I think it's from 1920-ish apparently. So, yeah, what's that? Yeah, yeah, well, like 100 years old. Yeah, I have no idea. I think it's from 1920-ish, apparently. So, yeah, what's that? Yeah, yeah, well, like 100 years old. Yeah, but I'm definitely going to get it restored,

but it might have to be my birthday present or something. Okay, I can't wait to see photos. Because immediately I could smell my nana's corn range when I was a kid because she still used it for, like, baking. Oh, wow, awesome. There was bread made in that. It was so amazing. Yeah, but bread and roast.

Yes. Does it have a fan bake though? No, definitely not. That's where you get the fire started and you have to go, to get it going. Yeah, that's the thing. Narnia, I'm getting my food bag at the moment, but I got an email saying that you weren't initially at lockdown accepting any more orders because you guys, I guess, were absolutely snowed under.

Is that still the case? Yeah. Well, because, of course, no one wants to go out to get their groceries. All of a sudden there was a big upswing in like online food delivery. Yeah. But I think and we just just to be cautious because it was so sudden and all the rules, you know, kept changing. They were like, you've got to do this, you've got to do that. Now you can't have this many people in the warehouse and it made everything kind of a bit slower.

So just to be cautious, the team decided, you know, we'll just put a cap on deliveries for these two weeks and then after that we'll open up more. So I believe that they are now for the next week taking more orders. Yeah. Or very soon at least they're planning on it. Yeah. But it's been, I'm so thankful. We've been getting one every fortnight and then the other week I give mine to an elderly couple up in Auckland that get sent to them.

But so thankful for it. Yeah, me too. More thankful in my life. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the new 10-part series, it airs weekdays, 4.30pm on TVNZ1. It's called Nadia's Comfort Kitchen.

Thanks for chatting to us, Nadia. Thank you, guys. Have a good day. If nobody else, just keep me up to date with that coal range. Okay, sure. You can come and cook in it. Oh, my God, it would make me so happy. You better not break it, though.

It's seriously jazzed. Pretty, pretty hard to break a car, so I'm so all right. Thanks, Nadia. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Fridge Bingo. All right, Fridge Bingo is a game we've been playing. There's no prizes apart from bragging rights and glory of having the randomly selected things

that we have in your fridge. And we've got a celebrity edition today. It's TVNZ. What is that noise? What is that? Oh, it's Milo. Is that a baby? Is that baby Milo?

Yeah, yeah, that's Milo in the background. He's in the Jolly Jumpers. How good are Jolly Jumpers? I wish there was an adult-sized one. Oh, my God, they're amazing. Well, there are those ones in the mall that are, like, kind of medium, not quite adult, but not quite baby. They frown on 6'2", 38-year-old.

95 kg gentleman straddling one of those. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hang on. Are you 6'2"? 95kg gentleman straddling one of those yeah yeah okay hang on are you are you 6 foot you're not 6 foot 2 I'm 6 foot 2

he's 6 foot 2 Matty I'm a big he's 6 foot 2 I'm a big beard listen to your voice yeah it's hot I know

I'm a big you should see my beard in a moment I'm ticking all the boxes and then Matty behind yeah I know. You should see my beard at the moment. I'm ticking all the boxes. And then Matty McLean. Yeah, I know. He's flustered. Well, fridge bingo.

It is Matilda Green versus Matty McLean. Now, we're going to read out an item that could or could not be in your fridge. Matilda, if we call out something that's in your fridge, please buzz in with ding. And Matty, your buzzer is dong. Oh, dong. Okay okay The first to three It's been a big 30 seconds on the phone so far, right?

There's a lot going on Yeah, sorry Sorry, Matilda, you had to be here for this flirting That I'm experiencing Someone's going to get cancelled if they keep this up Well, I feel uncomfortable being the third wheel here, guys. All right, fridge bingo. All right, let's roll the randomiser.

I don't know where the randomiser is. So the idea is you say your ding or your dong if you've got it in your fridge. Right. All right, okay. Oh, what's happened? You've lost the randomiser. Okay, here we go. Okay. Oh, what's happened? You've lost the randomiser. Okay.

Oh, heck. This is first out the batting cage. Almond milk. No. No. Don't have almond milk. Sorry. Matilda, you're an ambassador. No, that contract's actually up. Yes! Yes it is! No one's getting a free plug around here, baby.

No one. No one. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes it is! No one's getting a free plug around here, baby! No one! No one! Yes! Pet food. Pet food. Pet food. I have it, but not in the fridge. No, mine's just plain old pantry can stuff. Oh. But do you have a half-opened one, or are they single-can? Oh, they're...

Oh, my God, ding, ding. I do have one. Yay! Taking an early lead, Matilda. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh! Matilda. Pre-grated cheese. That's cheese that's pre-grated. Dong.

I've got to check the cheese drawer. Hold on. You've got a cheese drawer. Dong. Okay, Matty, that's one. There is a chance for Matilda to still buzz in. Okay. God, Milo, do you mind, buddy?

Mum's trying to win. Nothing. Chris, how big is this cheese, Matilda? Are you climbing into it? No, I don't have any cheese. Okay, right. You've got a lot of room in that fridge since you cancelled your almond milk contract. One all.

One all. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! An opened bottle of wine. Oh, dong. Ding and dong. Ding and dong.

Ding and dong. Okay, so it's tongue. Just out of interest, what kind of wine have you got, Maddie? I've got a Centro Tango Rose. Oh, sorry. Maddie, you've got a Rose. Oh, sorry. Maddie and Maddie.

Maddie and Maddie. We're getting confused here. No, no. I should have clarified. Mattoots. Mattoots. What kind of wine have you got on the fridge? Which one?

Me or Maddie? Mattoots. That's of wine have you got in the fridge? Which one? Me or Betty? Mattoots. That's you. Okay, me. I've got a Church Road Sav. Okay, you're a Sav. I love that wine. That's a good choice.

That's a good choice. Good range. All right, it is two all. So at this stage, it will be the first to buzz in. We'll win Celebrity Fridge Bingo. If you have it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh!

Oh! A homemade condiment. Oh, dang. Oh! Did you hear the groan from Matty? Yeah. Celebrity Treasure Island all over again. What's your homemade condiment?

Bread and butter pickles. You make your own bread and butter pickles? Well, I can't compete with that. Matty hates losing anything I love. I was going to say, like, oh, God, I'm up against, like, Treasure Island hard out as you pull this. Why? Matty hates losing anything. I love it. I was going to say, like, oh, God, I'm up against, like, Treasure Island hard out as you pulled him. No, look, well done, well played.

I'm happy for you, Matilda. Do you know what, Matty? You're so insincere. Do you know who made those pickles? Barbara bloody Kendall. Oh. Ah, yep. Especially for this. Yeah. She's like, trust me, I Bloody Kendall. Oh. Oh, yep. Especially for this. Yeah.

She's like, trust me, I don't know why, I don't know how, but you're going to need these homemade pickles. Pickle relish. Stop winding Maddie up. Hey, just checking in. You're both doing okay in isolation. Maddie, you're kind of getting out and about with having to present the weather. Yeah, I know.

I've been deemed an essential service, which has done nothing for my ego. But, no, we're doing all right. We're just staying at home but trying to get out for little solitary walks with the dog, which is nice, And just spending some quiet time together. It's quite lovely. And Matilda, you're all good? Everything's all right at the greenhouse hold? Yeah, yeah.

Pretty much the same. I mean, we don't really do anything anyway. So, you know, things haven't really changed that much, to be honest. Because, I mean, both of us work from home. So it's actually kind of nice just having, like, family time, just the three of us with no other commitments, you know? That's very cool. Good to hear.

Well, have a great Easter weekend and look after yourselves. Thanks so much for playing Fridge Bingo. You too, guys. Thank you so much. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's long weekend group toot. I'm waiting for it, that group toot, I want it. New Zealand buckle your seatbelts. Although you're only in your driveway,

so legally I don't believe you actually have to. No. But be very careful. Now, this is a long weekend group toot tradition. We normally do this in traffic, and people toot, and people toot back. But this is unlike any other. Yeah.

We're in lockdown, so you must stay within your bubble. We're not encouraging you and saying at all to leave your house. Don't you go anywhere. This is the driveway edition of the long weekend group toot. Park in your driveway. Let rip a long weekend group toot and wait for someone in your neighbourhood to toot back. Unless you live by an essential worker or a shift worker, nurses, don't wake them up.

Yeah, let's not wake them up. Now, Vaughan, could you also, maybe if somebody else has got a phone nearby, you could video it too. I think it would make quite an emotional video compilation of long weekend group toots around this lovely country of ours. So, are we going to kick this off?

Do you want to give a toot example? I'll tell you how it works. You park in your driveway, you toot. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. One, two. One, two, three. One, two, three, four. That's a lot on you.

The onus is on you. Yeah. Somebody else listening simply has to toot twice in return. Like that. Easy. We that. Easy. We say that now. It is a, some people find it rhythmically challenging, but that's just all part of it. That's why it's easiest to think of it in numbers if rhythm's not your thing.

Now, normally, Vaughn, you'd be quite upset if this didn't work. To be honest, oh, if we get one. If everybody just toots well, I'll be stoked. Well, yeah, that's true. All right, we're going to start in Darfield this morning. Jason, good morning. How are you? Good, thank you very much.

Did you feel the earthquake just before 8 o'clock? We didn't, actually, but we're all hunkered down in our car. There's all four of us waiting for it. Oh, okay. All right. Okay, well, Jason, the first line... My four-year-old's a bit worried that Vaughan's going to get a bit upset. No.

I promise you, Jason, I'll call you back later when you're not around your children to scream at you, okay? I don't like to run a man down in front of his offspring. No, it's not going to happen, Jason. So I guess just down the window, phone out the window and give us the long weekend group toot. Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. We've lost Jason.

Oh, Jesus. I don't know where Jason... Oh, just pop Jason on hold. He might have accidentally muted it. Yeah. Michelle in West Auckland, good morning. You now become our first long weekend group tooter. Oh, no pressure. No pressure.

Whereabouts in West Auckland? In Swanson. Swanson. Swanson. Lovely Swanson. They're not afraid of a toot in Swanson, are they? No, they certainly are. Michelle, give us a long weekend group toot.

I'm just going to give my phone to my daughter to put the phone out the window. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yep. Yay! I will take it. We'll take it. We'll take it from Swanson. We're on the board with one.

I love that the neighbours are coming together. This is good. This is good. That's good. What a great start. It's one from one. Adam in Christchurch, good morning. Oh, no pressure.

Come on. How well do you know your neighbours, Adam? Well, quite well. We're quite a tight little subdivision. I can't see anyone out, but you mentioned essential workers and stuff. I'm like, oh, everyone's going to hate me after this. No. We're bringing the nation together, Adam.

What part of Christchurch are you in? You say you're in a tight little community? What? So I'm in Broomfield, sort of out Hornby ways, in a tight little subdivision. Okay, well, give it to us and let's just see how it goes, Adam. Broomfield, Broomfield. All right, I'll give it a go.

All right, okay. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Yes! Broomfield! It's a straight two from two. That's amazing. We're running, we're running. Thank you, Adam.

On the leaderboard. Let's not forget we've got the leaderboard. We do. I'm ranking everybody's names down. Let's go to my hometown, my home province, New Plymouth. Good morning, Michelle. Good morning.

How are you, Michelle? Whereabouts in New Plymouth are you? We're in Spotswood and I hope this works because my husband and I just had a huge fight reversing the car out of the garage. What did you have

a fight about? I was telling him not to overthink it, just reverse it back and he decided to like get funky with the steering wheel. It wasn't a good situation. That's not good

calm and good juju, good vibes to bring into it. I've got a feeling when this is successful in Spotswood, all of that will be shaken off. Yeah, it's looking pretty quiet out there. Okay, it's looking quiet. Alright, let's have it in Spotswood.

When you're ready. Let's have a toot in Spotswood. No. She's quiet. She's quiet and spots wood. Quiet and spots wood. Rochelle, thank you so much for trying anyway. That's two thirds. It makes us appreciate the wins. Let's go to Tauranga.

Catherine and Pippa, good morning. Whereabouts in Tauranga are you? Otomotai. Otomotai. All right. Okay. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group tour. Yeah!

Wait, was that you? No! It sounded like in your driveway. We'll take it anyway. We'll take it. We'll take it anyway. It was obviously a different car. Yeah, well, we'll take it anyway. We'll take it. We'll take it anyway. It was obviously a different car.

Yeah, well, we'll take it anyway. Fiona in Christchurch, whereabouts in Christchurch are you? We're in Redwood. In Redwood. When you're ready,

Fiona, give us the long weekend group toot. Oh God, I can't appreciate it. Yeah. We'll take it That's another in the bank Normally in same driveway toots

We would be vehemently against And deny but we'll take it It was out on the road It was someone out on the road It was another neighbour who had pulled their car to the end of the driveway Yeah Okay great then It sounded very close is all It was someone out on the road. It was another neighbour who had pulled their car to the end of the driveway. Yeah. Okay, great. It sounded very close is all, Fiona.

We're not complaining. We're not complaining. No, no, that's not. Oh, we wouldn't accuse Fiona of. And it's not cheating. If you organise with your neighbours to partake in the long weekend group tour, that's just planning ahead. That's very good planning.

Matt, good morning. G'day, how you going? Good, mate. Whereabouts in Auckland are you? Remins, Remiwira. Oh, Remmers. Oh, Matt. Yeah, yeah.

Is this an Audi horn? You're going to be on the counter with your neighbours. It's a Nissan, for reference. So, no. Okay, all right, okay. So, Audi's two back to Nissan? I don't know. I don't think they're allowed.

Matt, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group tone. All right, here we go. Hey! We got one. Hey! That sounded a bit aggressive. Like, yeah, shut up. It was very aggressive.

It was very aggressive. But we will take it. We'll take it. There you are, Matt. Actually, we've got... Nice! You may remember from the start of the segment, Jason and Darfield, we lost them.

But, Jason, you guys are back. When you're ready, give us the long weekend group toot. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Here we go. Tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee. Did you hear it? No, it wasn't yours.

We heard yours. Did you get a reply? No, no, it's way in the background. You've got to listen real carefully. Go again. Yep, go again. Here we go. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Yeah! Yes! Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Your! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Your kids are not going to be able to see it. Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby! Darby!

Darby! Darby! Darby! church first? I'm also in Redwood. I listened out for the last one, but I couldn't beat back because people were walking past my driveway and looking right at me. Okay, fair enough. You should have given them a look like, get back in your bubble. Don't judge me. Exactly. Alright, we ready?

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, here we go. No! No! Disappointing! The pure silence, I thought the phone had cut out. No. No. No. Disappointing. Now for the pure silence, I thought the phone had cut out. Where's the other Redwood person? Are they still in the driveway? I don't know.

Fiona was in Redwood a few toots back, wasn't she? Yeah, but she's probably gone back inside. Okay, we're running a six from eight. Okay, we haven't had a... We've got a Hamilton and Dunedin ready to go. Let's go to Hamilton first. Victoria, whereabouts in Hamilton? I'm over in sort of Huntington area.

Okay. Huntington. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Oh, hang on. I'm not. Can we go to Darfield first? You're not ready. He's walking to you.

Okay. All right. We'll wait there. We'll go to Dunedin. Dunedin, Bevan and Dunedin, whereabouts? Oh, it's actually Mosgiel there. Sorry, please. Mosgiel.

Okay. Oh, okay. Mosgiel. You're beautiful, Bevan. It's a later sub whereabouts? Oh, it's actually Mosgiel there. Mosgiel, okay. Oh, okay. You're beautiful, Bevan. It's a slighter sub-climate there. Yeah, yeah. You've got a micro-climate. You've got the big Mosgiel sign. Yep, you've got a clock.

You've got the old Fisher & Wacker factory. And that's it. Bevan, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Oh, here we go. Yeah! Yay! Mosgiel! Do we need to do it? amazing everyone's tooting has been? Oh, yeah. Everybody leading has just been on point.

Precision. Bevan, thank you. Let's go to Christchurch. Hamish? Good morning. How are you? Good morning. Whereabouts in Christchurch?

I'm in Sydenham. Sydenham. All right, when you're ready, Hamish, give us a long weekend group toot. Perfect. Perfect. Yay! Love it. This is bringing me so much joy. Yay!

Love it. This is bringing me so much joy. Four fifths. We're pulling it back. We've had a great run here. What's our record? Well, that's eight toots out of ten. Is 11 our record?

Eight toots, I think. Eleven is. Joe, Lower Hutt, good morning. Whereabouts in the hut? Obviously Lower. We're in Central Hutt. Central Hutt. Okay. So that's between Lower and upper, is it?

And pizza. Oh, close enough. To the right of pizza. It goes upper, pizza. Pizza, lower. And middle. And then Jabba. All right, you're our lucky 11th tooter, Joe.

I've got a good feeling about Central Hut. I've got my son Luke who's going in on the horn. Okay, Luke's doing the tooting. All right, when you're ready. Oh, nothing. Deathly silent. Deathly silent. Joe and Luke, thank you anyway.

And Central Hut there. Disappointing from the other hut residents there who may still be in bed. Leila in Christchurch. Good morning. Hi. Hi. I need a new piece of paper.

Whereabouts in Christchurch? Summerfield. Summerfield. All right, go for it, Leila. No. What happened? Nothing. You didn't hear any reply there, Layla?

No. Oh, Layla, thank you for trying. At least in Auckland. Whereabouts in Auckland? Hey, I'm just in Kingsland. In Kingsland. Okay, lovely. Born, you used to live in Kingsland. Oh, I used to live in Kingsland.

Remember that taxi drove through your front door? That's right. It was a ventful live in Kingsland. I used to live in Kingsland. Remember that taxi drove through your front door? That's right. It was a ventful time in Kingsland for you, wasn't it? That's right. Crashed into my mate's car, threw the fence into the door. Yeah. What a hoot. Elise, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot.

All right, sweet. Hang on one sec. Okay. Yay! There we go, there we go, there we go. There we go. Back on the board. And, Kesa, you were our 13th caller as well.

We're running a nine from 13. Are we just going to keep going for the record? Are we going on the board today as well? How many is our record? Can we go back to Victoria and Hamilton? We're running at nine. I think our record's 11, isn't it? Okay, Victoria.

We've got two more calls lined up to go. Victoria, give us a long weekend group toot. Alright, I'm a bit nervous here. Let me go. Did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did. Oh. Nothing. Let you guys down.

Victoria, you haven't let anyone down. You haven't let anyone down. You stayed inside your bubble, you had a little fun, no one replied, no one's been let down. You did great. You haven't let anyone down. You stayed inside your bubble. You had a little fun. No one replied. No one's been let down. Hamilton let us down, not you, Victoria. Hamilton always lets everybody down. That's the first time Hamilton's let us down.

Thanks, Victoria. Susan, you're our last long-weeking group tutor. Whereabouts in Auckland are you? I'm in Mount Talbot. Mount Talbot. All right. You are our 15th caller, and if you get this one, we've had 10. Otherwise, we're sitting on nine.

Okay? All right. I live just off of Main Road, so fingers crossed. Okay. When you're ready. When you're ready. Here we go. Yay!

Finish on a high note. Ten. Good, Susan. Thank you. That is a great, great turnout. And you know what? We've come together. People coming together with their neighbours, with their communities.

Oh. It feels good. Feels good. It feels good. It does. The tooting was excellent. The tooting was very excellent. Fantastic. Excellent all round. Tooting. Feels good. It feels good. The tooting was excellent. The tooting was very excellent. Fantastic.

Excellent all round. We adapted. Yeah. We did what we could. We're coming out with 10 successful toots from 15 tries. Next long weekend, we'll be out. We'll be back on the roads. Yes.

But this long weekend, stay in your bubble so we can all get out for the upcoming long weekend. Yes. Thank you, New Zealand. Another successful long weekend group. Today's fact of the day Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- you would have heard me saying, hey, have we, hey, just with fact of the day, have we, and you two were just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What's it called? Oh, were you talking? Baby, what happened? It might just be baby one more time. Yeah, I was trying to get a word in edgeways. Why don't you search Britney? Oh my God, it was on Now That's What I Call Music volume something. Which one? Two.

I don't know, I don't know. All right, all right. Oh, baby, baby is the lyrics. What did he say? All right, all right, all right. That's a Matthew McConaughey, Britney Spears remix. All right, all right, all right. It's how Matthew McConaughey.

All right, all right, all right. All right, all right. All right, all right, all right. I right. All right, all right, all right. I can't wait for two weeks away from this. All right, all right, all right. So 1998, the song came out, and it was the first US Billboard number one hit for a songwriter called Max Martin.

Oh my God, Max Martin. Max Martin was a massive, massive deal. Max Martin has written the following number one singles. Baby One More Time, It's Gonna Be Me, NSYNC, I Kissed A Girl, Katy Perry, So What, Pink, My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson, Three by Britney Spears, California Girls by Katy Perry, Snoop Dogg,

Teenage Dream by Katy Perry, Raise Your Glass by Pink, Hold It Against Me, Britney Spears, E by Katy Perry Snoop Dogg Teenage Dream by Katy Perry Raise Your Glass by Pink Hold It Against Me Britney Spears E.T. Katy Perry Last Friday Night

Katy Perry Part Of Me Katy Perry One More Night Maroon 5 We're Never Ever Getting Back Together Taylor Swift

Raw by Katy Perry Dark Horse by Katy Perry Shake It Off Blank Space and Bad Blood by Taylor Swift Can't Feel My Face

by The Weeknd Can't Stop The Feeling by Justin Timberlake and Blinding Lights by The Weeknd. Oh, what? Those are all the number one singles he's wrote. Wow. Or has produced and has co-writing.

Yeah. So the dude's probably flush with cash. $300 million is his net worth. And he can walk the streets because no one knows. Exactly. Wow, that's the dream, right? Who he was. Well, of all of those number one songs, Baby One More Time was his first.

Yep. Hit Me Baby One More Time is the lyric that has caused the problem for the song. Right. As Hit Me Baby One More Time, there's connotations there, isn't there? Oh, yeah. I never thought about that. Domestic violence, et cetera. It caused controversy at the time, but...

I don't ever remember any controversy or... A little bit of controversy. Yeah, okay, wow. And I'd never thought about it either. Hit Me Baby One More Time, there was a big problem with it. So he said it was never about being hit or, like, hit me in the sense of, like, hit me with that good stuff.

No, like give me a hit of your love. Yeah, give me a hit. Like I'm jonesing for it. He never intended it to do that. It was hit me up on the phone one more time. He said it's a common Swedish saying. And so when he did it, when he wrote the song, no one questioned him. So it was like, okay, Hit me baby one more time.

Oh my god, it's on the phone. Hit me up. One more time on the phone because the rest of the song is about how she's missing someone. They've broken up for whatever reason. Hit me baby one more time. In literal translation makes you think that

she's in a Stockholm Syndrome type relationship where she's in a Stockholm Syndrome type relationship where she's not happy but needs it. But it's actually just about, call me on the phone one more time. Wow. And he said, no one ever told me it wasn't the same here also. So I didn't know. My English wasn't that great at the time.

And it was his first number one hit that led to an absolute string of them. And now he's worth $300 million. Imagine that. My English wasn't that great at the time. And now he's written all these English now he's worth $300 million. Imagine that. My English wasn't that great at the time, and now he's written all these English songs and is worth $300 million. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the guy that wrote Britney Spears' song

Hit Me One More, Baby Hit Me One More Time. Hit Me Baby One More Time. Hit Me Baby One More Time. Baby Hit Me One More Time. Hit Me Baby One More Time. Thought that that saying meant cool. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Day. These people eat applause. These people. And drink laughter like the rest of us. Eat food and drink water. Every time you say this, I feel like it's pot kettle black. This is totally you. It is.

I'm up here gorging on it as much as I can. And joining us on the phone for Comedians in Isolation today, comedian, podcaster, and the only person I know that's been stung by a blue bottle jellyfish, Guy Montgomery. Good morning. Good morning. Please share some of that delicious laughter.

I hope you've got enough to go around. Oh, we've got plenty enough for you. Times are lean here at Castle Montgomery. I'm bombing in the lounge. I'm bombing in the kitchen. I'm bombing on the deck. Is your partner sick of you?

Is that sort of a general consensus? Yeah. If by general you mean their consensus, absolutely. It's a challenging thing. You know, we live in a house. We live in a house. We live in a house. And what that means is that we spend quite a lot of time in each other's company. And while I think I'm consistently being pretty hilarious, the reviews have been scathing. There's a newsletter circulating around the place saying Montgomery's been eating it on stage lately.

I can see why it's difficult to live in this house then. Yeah, yeah. I keep trying out all my great ideas for viral content. Yep. And not a lot of them have made it to the internet yet because they're just getting poo-pooed left and right. Now, you've famously watched terrible movies over and over and over and over and over again

and podcasted the experience. Are you actually enjoying good movies during this time of isolation or are you looking for your next podcast-worthy shitter? Well, I actually, I haven't watched any good movies, I think. I've been watching Tim Bannight, who I do this podcast with, The Worst Idea of All Time. We recently watched a movie at my request called The Fanatic,

which is a movie starring late career John Travolta, written and directed by Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit Bank. Already, this sounds incredible. Wow. And I do not think I'll be overstating it when I say that this is, and I've seen some stinkers, this is one of the worst films ever created.

It totally ruined both of our days in a sort of really visceral, like lasting way. It was like putting on a white shirt in the morning and getting a coffee stain on it after you've left the house and just being like, well, I guess this is me. Yeah. Yeah, it was not good.

And so, yeah, we watched it. We talked about it once. But, no, largely I haven't been watching any movies. I don't even know what I've been doing. I feel like I live on a boat. You guys are lucky. The people with jobs are the lucky ones. You know, there's structure.

You know what day it is. Time has lost all meaning. People are telling me it's Easter. What is this? You don't have eggs. You've still got the Christmas tree up. It's a very confusing time. It's a topsy-turvy world.

That's right. And so I've started sort of just trying to recount anecdotes over the dinner table about the before time. Last night at dinner, I was telling anyone who would listen about a time, and this wasn't so long ago, when what I wanted is to eat a meal out of the house and so I went out the house and I went down to uh well they called they were called restaurants at the time and that's basically that someone set up a kitchen but in a professional capacity and they'd prepare

the food for you and they'd cook the food for you and there'd be other people they're strangers strangers to me you know and and and I'd exchange money for the for the goods for you, and there'd be other people. They're strangers. Total strangers to me. You know, and I'd exchange money for the goods and services, and then when you're finished, you know, you could just go and do whatever you like. It sounds like an incredible, fascinating time. Who does the dishes? Well, it's hard to say, but honestly, it's none of my beeswax. How, like, these strangers that you were dining with, how close to you were they?

Oh, remarkable proximity. I tell you, I would have had a field day. Elbow to elbow, all around one big table. It was chaos. Oh, my God. Incredible. It does sound so clandestine now that I'm hearing about this. Yeah, look, it seems absurd to think about,

but I'm pretty sure that a lot of other people were doing it as well. Yeah, right. Oh, God, Montgomery, you have truly, I've had a great day today. I didn't know if it could get better, and it just did. And for that, Sarah, Montgomery, you have truly, I've had a great day today. And that's just real. I didn't know if it could get better, and it just did. And for that, sir, I thank you so much. All right, truly a pleasure, guys. You're doing a fantastic job, so keep it up.

You're a wonderful company in the mornings. Oh, thank you, sir. Well, maybe one day we can get to one of these places you talked about. Oh, dreams are free, but I wouldn't hold your breath. I shan't. Have an enjoyable Easter, even though you don't believe it is, Judy. I'm going to Wikipedia what the hell it's all about, actually. Have a good one, guys.

All right. Thanks, guys. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. That is our show today. Yep. We'll be back after a two-week break. Yep. So the 27-something? I want to say the 27, 28

It's after Anzac Day Monday the, oh So Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday the 28th Yeah Fantastic Because the Anzac Day gets Monday-ized

Oh brilliant, okay Uh huh What are you typing? Well I was trying to find New Zealand National Anthem Oh, brilliant. Okay. Uh-huh. What are you typing? Well, I was trying to find New Zealand National Anthem. God defend New Zealand. I thought we could finish on a... It was a look of, please pad while I'm typing. Oh, right.

Okay. Do you not recognise that look? Nah. I thought we could do Dame Kitty Tikanoa, but I can't find that she's ever done it. I mean, she's done it. I just don't know if there was ever a proper recording. A proper recording of it.

You see, in her day, there was no YouTube. She'd be a YouTube hit. Dame Kitty Tikanoa. Yeah, absolutely, with the pipes on her. Oh, she has some pipes. She has some absolute pipes. But would we be worried that she could have cancelled herself? Maybe.

Who knows? With a ferocious temperature. Let's just imagine her doing the national anthem and say, have a fantastic Easter weekend. Yeah. And Easter break. Yeah. Obviously stay at home.

Stay at home. Be safe. Let's take this lockdown seriously. We're over halfway to the four-week mark. It could be longer. I'm going to be pissed if some people go out and ruin it. Yeah, exactly. And we have to stay longer.

Because we've been touted as the nation that's doing it right. We're squashing the curve. We're beating all those projected lines of where we were earlier in the piece. The lockdown is working. We've just got to stick to it. Why are you sending around YouTube links? Because it's Dame Kiri Takano doing God Save... Oh no, it's God Save the Queen.

That's God Save the Queen. See, I found that, but that's not our national anthem. No, we don't want that one. No, that's not right. God Defend New Zealand. God Defend New Zealand. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.