ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 13th

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein, Rae Rae's cute moment with the rubbish man, When did you leave early?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM Hit Music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, three past six. How's everyone feeling today? Good, thank you. Better. How's your sickness? Yes, better than yesterday.

Been on the Robituss? I've been trying to back off the Robituss. I think I was having too much Robituss. Really? Yeah. It's giving me a sore stomach. Okay. Oh yeah, because I've been having Irish much Robitussin. Really? Yeah. It's giving me a sore stomach. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Because I've been having Irish moss. I love that. No, you can't have too much of that. That's good stuff. Yeah, those are the lollies they sell at the pharmacy, eh? Irish moss. I'm not a massive fan. After you drink it, I'm like...

Do you know what? When I was sick the other day, somebody told me their mother used to feed them spoonfuls of Vicks. And I was like, oh, yeah, Formula 44. They were like, no, Vapor Rub No No They did not

Maybe they just thought it was No, I described it as that Semi-translucent stuff that you rub on your chest Yeah, like a petroleum jelly Is it made out of petroleum jelly? I've got some on my Pretty sure Yeah, but the guy that invented Vaseline

Used to eat Vaseline Used to have a spoonful of Vaseline every day too. It's not to be eaten. But then you put it on your lips, right? So you technically are eating it. Because you just end up licking it off. Or it goes into your... Yeah, right.

You shouldn't eat that. But like a spoonful of it would be all like... Yeah, and then your mouth would be coated with like. Yeah. No. Is it just so that she'd give you something else to complain about? No, there's lots of people that do it. What?

You're kidding me. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yeah. I've heard a few people that actually eat vapor rub. Can you eat vapor rub?

Someone said, I've been eating Vaporub for years. Someone said, what happens if you ingest Vaporub? Someone said, would you eat turpentine? They said, would turpentine stop my throat from hurting? That's the dangerous thing about throwing a rhetoric out there. Yeah. Is that some people can not take it as a rhetoric question. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Story time, three news headlines. question. Alright you lot, listen up, it's Storytime. Storytime three news headlines are weird, unusual news stories that I've found online and Vaughan and Megan can only pick one news headline out of the three. Headline one, Naughty Badger. Headline two, Officer Settle's Suit

for $10.25 million. And headline three, Movers Off Key. Those are your headlines. Movers Off Key. Those are your headlines. Movers Off Key. Piano related. Did they drop a piano? They lost a piano?

A piano fell down. You have to be careful because it goes out of tune, right? When you move it. When you move it, you've always got to get it re-changed. Oh, right. You are correct, Vaughn, yes.

But just how expensive was that piano? Family piano growing up? No, shit no. We didn't have any musical instruments. Oh, really? In my house. None of us are musically gifted. We had them, but nobody was musically gifted.

Well, I think that's what my parents thought. Well, there's no point in buying them. Right, it takes up space. Just hear racket and noise. Yeah. I wanted to play the saxophone, but my dad didn't want to buy one. Oh, yeah, my brother played that at a period.

The same period of time I played the trumpet. What a stupid idea. Was that only because Lisa Simpson played the saxophone? No, my uncle played the saxophone, and I thought it was so cool. I was like, probably Lisa had something to do with it. Okay. But then I don't know what I would have done with that skill. Kenny G played the clarinet.

Oh, did he? Close enough. Does he? Yeah, Kenny G, he played a clarinet. I thought it was a saxophone all this time. Okay.

Well, you may have seen him playing a saxophone. It's another woodwind instrument. What is he famous for? No, apparently mum's just messaged in, Bev's messaged in, in the Green Mazda

saying, I had a toy drum as a toddler. Everybody had a toy drum as a toddler. Everybody had a toy drum. She will not have you saying that there was no musical instruments. Yep. I had a great childhood. I did have a drum.

I had a chance to beat a drum. I had a drum. Fantastic. Yep. Yeah, right. So no Kenny G. No, Kenny G plays the saxophone. I just googled it.

Thank you. I always thought he played a clarinet. Why do you think he played the clarinet? It's a tennis saxophone, so maybe it looks a bit more like a clarinet. Is Kenny G playing the clarinet? I think he can play both. He's very capable. No, but he's famous.

What was his signature weapon? It was because, was it Kanye got him to come in and do the saxophone? Yeah. Was it last Valentine's Day or the one before? It was a couple of years ago. Kenny G, saxophonist. Thank you. He's a saxophonist.

But then I've found a clarinophonist. He's not a clarinophonist. Does it say clarinophonist? He's a clarinologist. He's not a saxophonologist. What do you call someone who plays the clarinet? A clarinetist. He plays the soprano, the alto, the tenor.

He plays anything with a bit of wood. Oh, okay. He can play any wood. A recorder? Can he do the... That's plastic. That's probably out of his jurisdiction. Okay, yeah, right.

Okay. You find out what they call a clarinophonist? A clarinist. A clarinist. A clarinist. A clarinist. A clarinist. Kenneth Bruce Gawlett. Yeah. It'sinist. A clarinist. A clarinist. A clarinist. Kenneth Bruce Gourlick.

Yeah. Kenny G is your real name. Yeah. Gourlick. Much more marketable. Kenneth Gourlick. Which story do you want? We've gone down a Kenny G rabbit hole.

It could have been Meggie P. What? I'm not a saxophonist. Meggie P. Meggie P. New Zealand's famous saxophonist. Maggie P. Can I play some Kenny G in the background

for the rest of story time? Please. I feel like we need it. Oh, he's got help. Hey, where's the sax? We all need help. At some stage. She's had 20 million plays. Really?

I've never heard it. I don't think we'd play it on ZM. No. Go on. What story do you want? I forgot it. I forgot the other one. Okay, Naughty Badger.

I kind of like that one. What is this? It's not Kenny G. It's Tony Braxton's doing the singing. Oh, no, I don't want to sing. No, we just want sax. Straight up Kenny G. Yeah. Oh, this's doing the singing. Oh, no, I don't want to sing. No, we just want saps. Straight up Kenny G.

Yeah. Oh, this is piano. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Great. Okay, so Naughty Badger. Yeah.

Officer Settle Suit for 10. No, Naughty Badger, we said. Naughty Badger. Oh, you want Naughty Badger. Naughty Badger. Okay, we go now. We like badgers. Do we? Is this show or are we just badgers?

Well, I'm a Hufflepuff. Oh, right. And that is my house animal. Right, okay. The badger. Well, we go now to Northampton in the UK. Although I thought Kenny G played the clarinet predominantly, so maybe it's not a badger.

Maybe it's a raccoon. A skunk. Or something other. Yeah. Staff working at a shop in the UK had a shock when they found a badger had fallen through the ceiling and landed behind a counter. The badger came through a ceiling panel in the Superdrug store in Northampton's mall and ran under the perfume counter. That was really all there is to the

story. The badger just got into the perfumes and they had to get animal rescue to come and get the badger after it fell through the ceiling. Naughty badger. I just love the naughty badger good one. Great. It's a great headline. Naughty, naughty badger. Badger was apparently very calm, no sign of injuries, and they took the badger to a safe place that she was released to.

That's good. Yeah. God, Kenny. This is just excellent. What? Singing. Oh, Kenny. This is just James Blunt. What? What is it? What? Singing.

Oh, you're beautiful. Oh, you're beautiful. Oh, yeah, right. James Blunt cover. This could be a great idea for Valentine's Day. Bit of sexy Kenny G in the boudoir. I started playing this. And then your flatmate's like,

is that a saxophone or a clarinet? Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. A relationship expert. They're all coming out of the woodwork because it's one sleep till Valentine's Day. Mm-hmm. And she has debunked what? I just thought if we're talking about Valentine's Day.

Oh. Give Kenny G a little bit more. Kenny J, yeah. Be cool. Some more shingles. Yeah, as endorsed by Kardashian West. Family. Yeah.

So she's debunked a few rumors about what men and women prefer for Valentine's Day. I'll start with women because I feel like we can see where the other side of things is going. We're simple creatures, Megan. Simple people. Women care more about thought than extravagance. They just want you to be thoughtful. And that's down to like giving time and giving an experience. Maybe even just making dinner.

You don't have to buy presents. That goes for any gift. Are you really? Just a little chesty there. Your Robitussin hasn't fixed that. No. I'm off the Robitussin. Right.

That is true. I don't think, I would just, if someone made me dinner on Valentine's Day and like drew a heart and sauce, I'd be like, that's, no. You'd still want a gift. Because you're married to me and you know. We do know you. We've known you for years. We know you and that's why we'd have no interest in being married to you.

Also, roses are not always the best choice. Lots of women prefer tulips and lilies. I went past this place yesterday. I always go lilies. Yeah, I love lilies. Because I want the cat to get them and then... Yeah. That's something you do

have to be careful about when you're amortising lilies. Cats and dogs. Kitty cats, yeah, they don't like piece lilies, do they? Very toxic. But I drove past

this place yesterday. This massive garden area had all these roses. Yeah, you talking about the rose garden? Yeah, I was like, what a perfect idea for Valentine's Day.

No. What was it? Somebody... Really? A few years ago, someone got caught. They got fined And I was like, what a perfect idea for Valentine's Day. No. What was it? Somebody, really a few years ago, someone got caught. They got fined per head. What? Per rose that they took, they got fined. It's like coming into the country, they charge you per banana.

Yeah. Unbelievable. Do they charge you per banana? Or is it per? I've always wondered about that. If you're going to try to get in one apple, you might as well try to get in a bag of apples. Nah, because I thought it was per thingy. So if you had an apple, banana and a mandarin, I think it's each one. I mean, I could be wrong,

but then maybe if they're in a bag, you just get charged the one. I just feel like, please. Because you wouldn't want to bring in a bag of rice. No, because it do. Yeah, especially if it's spilt through your bag. Yeah. But then it's in a bag, it's just in a bigger bag. No, because they do. Yeah, especially if it's spilt through your bag. Yeah. But then it's in a bag.

It's just in a bigger bag. Yeah. Yeah, you can get absolutely done. So don't steal roses from council gardens, yeah. But I think what you're saying is it's a thought. Yeah. Women want a thoughtful gift. I always get guys asking me what to get their partners.

And I always say you should make them a card and you should write something, like take a nice thought in there. Right. You know, because a lot of guys don't actually... So you can't just use what comes in the card and just write to and from? No.

Okay. Like write something nice, write something thoughtful. Like put a bit of effort into it. Yeah. Don't just buy a gift voucher Well you can put a gift voucher in there Because that might be something that they wanted That would be thoughtful to show you'd listened Okay

And then her research reveals that men prefer sex for Valentine's Day That's all And that's free isn't it Well Not always There are people that pay Valentine's Day. That's all. And that's free, isn't it? Well, not always. There are people that pay. True. Okay, vehicle, yeah, sure. And you just bought that voucher, so technically it's not free.

Oh, yeah, that's right, too. You had to spend a bit of money. You're simple beings, aren't you? I mean, you run the world and you get paid more, but you're simple beings. Well, simplicity pays. ZM's Flet more, but you're simple beings. Well, simplicity pays. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Apparently, the average American uses three rolls of toilet paper a week. That's a lot. It's a lot. Right. But,

you know, some people, because you know, I've spoken before, I'm a long roller. I get the long rolls. You get the long rolls. Oh, yeah. And they last way longer because, you know, some people, because, you know, I've spoken before, I'm a long roller. I get the long rolls. You get the long rolls. And they last way longer because, you know, you get those cheap, you know, you might get a cheap big pack,

but they don't last as long because there's not a lot of paper on them. And it's only you there, so you would know how long it takes for you to go through. Well, no, but sometimes people come around, use the toilet, and it's kind of rude. It's like a party poo. Do a poo at a party. It's rude that people come around and use your toilet. No, it's just weird that they do number twos. They might not have gone full twos.

They might have just done a precautionary wipe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. But, yeah, I wouldn't go through three rolls. I'd maybe go through one long roll a week. Like, if that. Right. I'd say. yeah, I wouldn't go through three rolls. I'd maybe go through one long roll a week. Like, if that. Right. I'd say.

Well, I don't know. That seems a lot. Yeah, we fly through it at home. Oh, because you've got like kids and yeah. And then I, you know, I use it. I'm not going with that. I'm not risking. Yeah.

I'm not risking not cleaning the whole situation. I'm not going to. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll use it. But then I only found out the other day that the kids scrunched the toilet paper, which is disappointing to a folder. Because you're a neat folder.

Inherited their father's folder. Put it in the finger. Run the other finger there. Get a good length. Do that a couple of times. And then, yeah, do business. I can't remember. Every time we talk about this, I can't even remember what I do.

I think it's a scrunchie fold. Yeah, I do a scrunchie fold. But I wouldn't be using three rolls a week. It's too much. That's a lot. I read a little while ago, someone did a study on three-ply, that you can use less three-ply

because it's thicker. Yeah. And it actually works out to sometimes being more cost-effective than two-ply. Yeah, because you just need more two-ply because you don't want to breach the paper. And you can't do a half a two-ply, so you end up making it a four-ply every time you fold it over. Yeah. That's why the long roll three-ply or a thick two-ply, it's a good option. You think a long roll three-ply is the way to go? Yeah, it's a good option you think a long roll i think three players yeah it's

the way to go okay and don't be do you have trouble the long roll fitting on your toilet roll holder no so when i put a new roll on it's like it's it's like a mil or two away from the wall like there's not a lot of right room but it fits but yeah that's something you've got to take into account well does your toilet roll holder not automatically lean against the wall? It's not pivoting from the wall? Oh no, it's a hard out. It's an arm, I guess. Yeah, right, okay.

So that's why it holds it off the wall. I was going to say, because if you put one of those really big ones on one that's pivoted off the wall, it would rub against the wall a lot. Okay. I just looked up, if you fold your toilet paper, what does it say about your personality? It says that you are tidy, you take care with things, you're driven and more

likely to succeed. So that's not born at all. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. New Zealand police have unveiled an artificial intelligence officer. Oh no. Like, in real life.

The future's here. So they have unveiled... Online, obviously. Online. So what they're trialling at the moment, a couple of kiosks at some Wellington police stations where you can meet Ella, an artificial intelligence officer. Officer Ella.

Oh, so you go into the... You go in. You go in. You go in. Because obviously, you know, you go to the police station, there's lines, and there's obviously some issues or things that can be dealt with,

you know, that aren't urgent. Quite simple. Yeah, quite simple matters, like I've lost my phone or something, or how do I get my firearms license or something. I've been stabbed, that sort of thing.

That's a low end. You probably should be at the hospital. Yeah, well, she could probably say, maybe go to the hospital. But she's a mix of 26. New Zealand police will be with you shortly. We're just filming a hilarious social media video. This is what she looks like.

Okay. A mix of 26 different people. I was going to say very... You'd be hard to pin down how to explain her. Yeah. But she's in the police uniform. Culturally, you wouldn't be able to. Very diverse.

Very diverse. There's a lot there. Yeah. So she'll be at the different police stations. And if this works, they're going to roll them out to other police stations around the country. Right. Officer Ella. the country. Right. Officer Ella. Officer Ella, yeah. Are they all going to have Ella or are they going to be different? Yeah, I think it's the same

one, so she'll be busy. Does Ella stand for something or they just thought that was an approachable name? Just an approachable name, I think, yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. But I don't know, maybe this is something that, I mean, this is the future, isn't it? Maybe police cars will roll up. They'll just be screens. I mean, this is the future, isn't it? Maybe police cars will roll up. There'll just be screens.

I've seen Robocop, both the original 80s version and the 2000s remake. Yep. Doesn't always go well. Yeah. And also, like, are you going to, do you have to talk to Ella? Yeah, you talk to her and she talks back. She's like, sorry, I can't understand what you're, please repeat your command. God, when you ring up a place and they've got like a, you've got to speak to them.

They're like, please say what you're ringing for. And you're like, lost my card. Yeah. They're like, I'm sorry. Just like, put me through to a human. Do you always just press zero when you call a place? I always press zero and then it starts ringing. It's the best way to do it, right? Just press

zero. Ella does stand for something. Does it? Electronic Life Like Assistant. Oh, okay. Didn't read much further in that story. No, I didn't read too much into the story. Did you read how much it cost? Yeah, like one unit's what? $15,000? Yeah, the development

of the trail to date and including the four units out there have cost $373,000? Yeah, the development of the trail to date, and including the four units out there, have cost $373,000. And then they're going to cost 15K onwards. Are they worried that people will, like, break them? Like, if Ella doesn't tell you what... Yeah, they are. The kiosks have CCTV monitoring and alarms built into them.

You know, like, have you ever tried to wiggle a vending machine to get a free, like, packet of lollies? But why are you wiggling Ella to get free? Well, maybe you're hoping that she'll drop some mace spray or a gun or something for Taser. I don't know if they arm the computers with Tasers, but if they do. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Tomorrow, Valentine's Day.

Not everybody's cup of tea, Valentine's Day. But everybody's cup of tea, Valentine's Day. But I've got the top six Valentine's Day alternatives. Things for you to celebrate and enjoy. Yeah. On the day where other people might be celebrating their loved one. Yeah, so you can just forget about it. Yeah. Yeah.

Number six on the top six Valentine's Day alternatives, Smalentine's Day. Okay. It's a day to let those around you enjoy your natural aroma. Because are they your friend because they like your natural musk or are they in love with Lynx Africa or Impulse? You've got some musks. What? You do have a musky.

You've got a musky fragrance and we all comment every time you wear it. Oh, yeah, but you wear sweet. What was yours? Jean Paul Gaultier. No, Versace. Twink, versace. No, Versace. Versace.

Versace. It's a great one. Versace, twink, versace. Megan loves it. It winds the man with the. It's delish. Yeah, it drops the ladies crazy. That whole Versace range is just delicious. Oh, yeah, it's good delicious It drops the ladies crazy It holds such a range

It's delicious Sometimes you need a more Smokey Girls wild eh It really does Number 5 On the list of the top 6 Valentine's Day Alternatives

Bar Valentine's Day That's where you just hit the gym with the bras or the bralettes. Yep. And you just pump some barbells. Yeah, cool, bra. You don't worry about love, man, because it's all about dem gains. Yeah. And getting swole.

Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six Valentine's Day alternatives, Valentine's Day. Okay. Everyone's about the wellness, aren't they? Yeah. About the inner wellness. So charge your crystals. Do's Day. Okay. Everyone's about the wellness, aren't they? Yeah. About the inner wellness. So charge your crystals.

Do some yoga. It's important to look after yourself on this day. A little bit of self-love on Valentine's Day because no one else is going to love you because you're alone.

Right. Don't let that weigh you down, remember. Because you've got your crystals. Yes. Positive mindset. Yoga mat. Yep.

Downward dog. You don't have to be alone to practice self-love. Hey, Vaughn. Well, no, I don't do it with a crowd, Megan. I'm not like, hey, Navas, just going to pop into the bedroom for a play with myself. Maybe you've got a partner. Maybe she's not there. She's got errands to

run. Number three on the list of the top six Valentine's Day alternatives are Coralline Valentine's Day. Okay.

It's just where we take a little bit of time to remember the coral reefs. Because they are dying. Because we're bleaching them.

Yeah. Because you keep pouring the last bit of your paint down the drain. That's depressing. You're forgetting about Valentine's Day and thinking about the dying coral reefs.

Coral reefs. Yeah, okay. Got to do something to help the coral. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six Valentine's Day alternatives, Music-Hallentine's Day. Okay. That's where you sing songs from your favourite musicals.

Okay. And remember that you're probably not celebrating Valentine's Day because you keep singing songs from Les Miserables and that's quite annoying to be around if you're doing it all the time. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six Valentine's Day alternatives, Jalentine's Day. Oh, okay.

That's basically what all those single people do who are bitching and moaning about Valentine's Day on Facebook are doing. They're jealous that they're not selling. For a moment, I was like, you make jelly and eat jelly. You could do that. And then I was like, I haven't had jelly for so long. You could do that on jelly. When's the last time you had jelly?

I had some good red jelly over the Christmas period. Oh, good. It's a bit of a Christmas treat. Yeah, it's good. Okay. A bit of jelly. Green jelly, red jelly. Yeah.

Blue jelly. Yeah, I'll do a blue jelly. Orange jelly. No. No one's doing orange jelly. Orange and yellow. It's like when you get the orange and yellow lollies in a packet of whatever. Yuck.

I don't want them. Oh, no. I like the purple ones or the red or the green. I like them despite orange jelly always being synonymous with this weird 1980s carrot jelly mould thing my mum used to make. Oh yeah, yeah. Do you remember those? They were big for a while there. Great, I should get the recipe

off mum if you want to. You both look pretty interested in trying it. No, we really don't. Some sort of jelly carrot cold salad-y thing. That is today's top six. Making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. $51,000 is the current jackpot. Soundkeeper Gary? Good morning, guys.

Did you see the clue that came out yesterday afternoon? Yes. Is that helping with your guesses? No? Okay. Nevermind then. Is this one you're allowed to say, talk about on air? Or do people have to? No, I think it's fine, yeah.

Okay. The sound is at Gary's work. Oh, God. So it could be anywhere. Are we going to have people coming up to the window and looking in? Already have. It's already started. Are you kidding me?

No, no, not at all. Okay. It's all, yeah. I mean, you know how people are talking me? No, no, not at all. Okay. It's all, yeah. I mean, you know how people are talking to you guys, asking what the sound is. Yeah. My wife's starting to get it. The flatmates, the pandemonium is beginning.

Whereabouts at work? I don't think we can. I think that's the idea of a clue, Megan. It's meant to be somewhat cryptic. Okay. But does that mean you made the, okay. Yeah, no. Okay, okay a clue, Megan. It's meant to be somewhat cryptic. Okay. But does that mean you made the... Okay, yeah. Yeah, no.

Okay, okay. Yeah, okay. Sarah, good morning, Sarah. Oh, good morning. All right, so with that clue in mind, does that alter your thinking? Have you changed from like yesterday pre-clue to now? Yeah, it has a little bit.

Okay. Well, this is the sound. And $51,000 is all yours if you can tell us what it is. Okay. Is it cracking open a beehive? Ooh, okay, because soundkeeper Gary makes honey. Well, the bees make honey. He just steals it from them.

He's a honey thief. He's a honey thief. He's a honey thief. Like Winnie the Pooh. That is, would you consider that your work, though? Doing the honey? Oh, yeah, that's a good call. Because you've technically got two jobs, don't you? I mean, I'm a soundkeeper.

I'm a beekeeper. You're an e-bike representative for the community. I don't know if that's more of an ambassadorship than a job. I play goalie in soccer, so I'm a goalkeeper. Are you? Yeah. Okay, I just wanted to use keeper again. Keeper, right.

That's a sport. That's a hobby. Beekeeper, sound keeper. If you're a professional, if you're paid. I'd allow it. Are you saying, Sarah, it's like the honeycomb being snacked? Are we talking about the honeycomb or are we talking about the actual box? Fletch looks like he hasn't seen a beehive before.

No, I know. I was assuming just the honeycomb. What are you talking about there, Sarah? Well, this is where I could get it so wrong because it could be both. That's right. You can't hedge your bets. No, no. Okay, so.

We'll wait. We'll just wait. We'll just wait, Sarah. That's fine. This is going to kill me if I get this wrong. I don't think anyone's allowed to kill you if you get it wrong. It seems a bit harsh, Sarah. It really does.

I'm going to say cracking the lid off the beehive. Cracking the lid off the beehive. Like the top off the beehive. So that, you know, like it's sort of, it's got that seal and it's when you break the seal. I feel like the noise has been sort of maybe slowed down a little bit. Sarah, RIP, mate. It is not the secret sound. Okay, that's cool.

All right, Sarah, thanks to your guests. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Statistics that a quarter of New Zealand cars are failing their warrant of fitness on the first try when they go to get their warrant. We have a lot of old cars in New Zealand, eh? When you go overseas, you really notice. Even Australia, you notice how new all their cars are. Yeah.

Whereas in New Zealand, we're like, we will drive this until we can't drive it anymore. And I like that about us. I mean, it's probably not as safe as it could be. So the Waikato is the worst area. 47% of vehicles fail their first WAF test. This was in the last year. Okay.

And it's apparently been getting a little progressively worse. Okay. Because the cars are getting progressively older. Well, they're not getting any newer, are they? So Northland, Bay of Plenty, Gisborne, Otago, Southland were all over 45%. Auckland was actually the best, 38%. Right, okay. Obviously, because it's a fail, the lower the number, the better.

But they've talked about why it is, and they say it's because we are driving older cars. And a lot of cars now only get checked the once a year. Yep. Because what is it? It was after 2000. You only need to get a warrant every 12 months. Yep.

But it's six months if it's older than that. Yeah. Yeah. And he said, oh, it's stuff, lights, tires, steering issues, brakes, windscreen wipers. I was like, yeah, but that's why I'm taking it in, right? Because I need to know if these things are good. Yeah. Well, I know if you turn on your windscreen wiper and it's just smeary and stuff, you probably need new wipers.

If it's just those metal things scratching the window, you need new wipers. But then if you're a couple of months out for your warrant, you just don't wipe your windows for a couple of months and you get it done when you go into the shop. Yeah, sure. There's a few things that'll need doing. So would you say when you drop your car for a warrant? I don't know. I don't feel like when you had a car or maybe you've got cars,

how often do you just give it a whip around to check? Never. I check the tyre pressure and I check the oil maybe every third fill up. Nah, see I never did that. I check the oil and then when I want to squirt the window and there's no water in the thing, I know you get a little bit of that and then put a bit of that bug stuff in but I don't

think I'm mechanically minded enough to check everything else. Your little Honda must be ready to RIP. Pick the bucket. Like, is it even passing warrants? Yeah. How?

Flies pass. How? It does. It passes warrants. It used to give me so much anxiety taking in my MX-5 to go and get checked because I'd just sit there waiting for them to list off what was wrong with it. I loved the thrill of them saying it's a pass. It was like, oh, my God, we live to see another six months.

Like sitting in that little waiting room being like, please, what's wrong with you? They're like, it passed today, but there's a bit of rust under there. And so every time you go for a warrant, you're like, is this its last? And we get a little bit more, a little bit more. But what a thrill when you pass. Then you sold that off and they've got the same thing every six months now, don't they? I traded it in. Oh, you traded

it in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. There'll be someone out there that's having to live with that though for the next six months. So lights are 27% failed on lights and that might just be like if you're driving and people are flashing you, you might have a headlight out you need both of those yeah apparently tires is another one because they get worn down don't they yeah yeah famously though not last forever steering

and suspension and yeah but i mean i wouldn't know how to check the steering and suspension nah does your average person know when you like let go and your car veers once. You're like, whoa. Something's out of line there. But then sometimes in the Land Rover I've got, it's very old. It's good to have it pull off the road. Rather it went that way than into oncoming traffic. If something goes wrong, if you're not pulling that way, and then it gives you a little bit of fight And you can hold it straight

Does it have power steering? God no So you've got to really fight that thing Maybe get that looked at There's nothing to say I've never had it It's not like it stopped working I've just never had it

This is why This is why This is why This is why This is why Fat Hello it. Hello, we have received today these lollies, and they are pineapple lumps. However, they are snifters lumps. So they've made a baby. Pineapple lumps have made a baby with a cancelled lolly. Yeah. What was this?

Snifter was a mint, eh? It had a green shell. Yeah. And then it had chocolate and then like a chewy minty bit in the middle. Like a green, chewy, hard minty bit. So are they just going to be chocolate mint? Mint flavoured pineapple lumps. So it was 2009

Cadbury decided they'd axe the snifter. They had a big they swung the axe a few times in 2009. Tangy fruits. Yes. And what were those lollies in a plastic wrapper? And they were like Those raspberry ones? Sparkles. Sparkles. They got rid of sparkles

didn't they? They got rid of sparkles pre-09. Did they? Snifters were... Oh, God, don't you hate it when your knowledge of when they cancelled lollies is... Out. A bit foggy? No, see, I think sparkles were in an earlier swing of the axe. They got rid of a whole lot of classics.

I don't really miss tangy fruits or snifters. I was never a huge fan. Snifters were great. Tangy fruits were great because they. I was never a huge fan. Snifters? Yeah, no. Tangy fruits were great because they lasted like a whole movie. I feel like I was robbed as I became a father after snifters were cancelled

but they were always a classic dad lolly when dad bought a bag of lollies they didn't want to share with anybody. Yep. Because he didn't love them but he liked that

he didn't have to share. Yeah. Snifters were good because they had a shell. They had the chocolate and then they had the bit in the middle. But this doesn't have the shell. Yeah. Snifters were good because they had a shell. They had the chocolate and then they had the bit in the middle. But this doesn't have the shell.

Yeah. And it was, as I recall it, shaped like a rugby ball. Yeah, it was. Overly. And you go. So,

this now will just mean that this is a mint flavoured pineapple lump. Well, it's not peppermint. It was spearmint, I think. But they're not pineapple, they're just lumps.

Mint flavoured centre. Okay, rightarmint, I think. But they're not pineapple-y. They're just lumps. Mint-flavoured centre. Okay, right. So no pineapple. No pineapple. And no, like, hard, chewy bit. No. Well, let's try. We'll try the snifters.

Let's try. Okay. It says tear here and it's not opening. Just open it like a normal packet. You tear down. You don't tear it. I don't want to put my mouth on it. Just open.

Oh, you're saying just pull it open like this. Yeah, like. Have you ever opened a bag of lollies before? I usually just use my teeth. Okay, Vaughan Smith now with the first try here of the Snifter Lump. Now, my taste is somewhat dulled because of a cold. Yep. Has it got bits in it?

Has it got bits in it? No, it was like harder than a pineapple lump. Okay, so harder than a pineapple lump. Okay, so harder than a pineapple lump. I mean, we're just waiting. I mean, do you not have any flavour hitting your taste receptacles yet? A lot of dark chocolate. Right, okay. Are pineapple lumps dark chocolate?

No, not dark dark. Not dark dark chocolate. Okay. I mean... We're all waiting. Wow. You don't have to like finish the whole thing. Give us an update.

What's happening in your mouth? Don't hurry me. Okay. You'll be setting off the silence alarms if you keep this up. But you were never a snifter fan, so... Oh, my God, Vaughn. It's better than I expected. Give me one.

But I don't think I'd buy a bag of them. Here, try one. Hmm. See? Yeah. See why I took my time? It's very hard to describe what's happening. Because there's a hint of toothpaste.

It's like you're eating dark chocolate with a hint of toothpaste. It tastes like something else. An after eight cinnamon? Maybe. Yes. It tastes like just a cinnamon. But if I was going to have an after eight cinnamon, I'd prefer an after eight cinnamon.

Because I like the chewy inside of a cinnamon. I like the goo. What is the goo in a cinnamon? I'd prefer an after eight dinner mint. Because I like the chewy inside of a dinner mint. I like the... The goo. What is the goo in a dinner mint? I don't know. It's yum. Yeah. It's just mint.

We've got friends, and whenever they come around for dinner, they bring a bag of after dinner mints. I don't know. That's old school, right? Yeah. It's like... It's great.

It's great. Now that it's... It just sounds like an after dinner mint. Which I'm all for, because it's delicious. And this would be the perfect way to skirt the rules of having to have dinner first. Because you can't have an after dinner mint until you've had dinner. That's a rule.

But there's no international law. Because it's just a snifter line. Yes, exactly. So you can have this any time of the day, pre or post dinner, without breaking the Geneva Convention of after dinner mints only to be eaten after dinner. That's not a snifter. Yeah, I think I'd just probably...

Not bad though. Just call it mint lumps. Mint lumps, yeah. Instead of pineapple lumps. Snifter lumps. I think I'd probably rather go a pineapple lump if I wanted the lump. Right. And I think I'd rather go an after dinner mint if I was going to go wanted the lump. Right. And I think I'd rather go

an after dinner mint if I was going to go for the mint. Right, okay. So it's neither here nor there for me. Okay. Okay, great. Well, it's an honest opinion. It's your opinion.

But I'm sure people will love these. Yeah, I still get stuck in your teeth. Yeah, and I've just got a big one stuck in the back, yeah. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm fat. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why.

Fat. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. There's a new dating trend. This one relates to Valentine's Day. And this is- Which is tomorrow. Yeah. It's a dating term.

Oh, so you wanted to do it today then? No, I don't think you should do this one. This is a negative. Well, they're all pretty negative usually. Mm. So this is called valentiting. You can be valentited. I beg your pardon?

Valentiting? Valentiting. I don't know what this is, but I don't want to be valentited. It sounds horrible. Not tightening. Tighted. Tighting. Valentiting.

Valentiting. So if you are... It doesn't sound very val-inviting. You were laughing, Megan. Don't encourage it. That was a pity chuckle. Valentine-ing or being valentited is when you're with someone. I imagine this is just dating.

Right. And they break up with you before Valentine's Day. Oh, I know. It wasn't going to be my guess. Why? But why? Because they're too tight to buy you a present.

Oh, that's just a sign that you probably shouldn't be with them. Exactly. If you don't want to spend money on buying them a present, it's probably a good sign. But it's not only money.

They don't want to make any kind of fuss, can't be bothered with anything, making a card, anything. Yeah, right. They dump you before Valentine's Day so they don't have to. And then you're valentited. Yeah.

So ruthless. Pretty much means they're just not into you and maybe Valentine's Day has made them realise that. Yeah, because nothing like spending $20, $30, $40 on someone. Or like you just can't be bothered even spending time with them. Then you just shouldn't be with them. Fletch Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Fletch is ditching something early in a real boomer move. Is it Saturday? Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. You two are going on a mandate to out and drop. Well, actually, we're taking Vaughan's parents, aren't we?

Cute. Yep. Yep. I wish I was going now. Yeah. But I'm not Well that's the thing I was just like I'll just go because

I think you've got to go once Don't you And also like He's going again Oh yeah He's not going to tour again He's too grumpy To do another tour

Arguably he was probably Too grumpy to start this one But Probably He's still here And you guys Bought tickets Spenny's tickets. Ages ago.

Ages ago. And you've announced that you are going to leave the concert early to avoid the traffic. So this is an absolute, and I hate when people do this at sports games. If a team's going to lose and you know there's no way they're going to win, I can get that. Don't say the team, just say the Warriors.

So I can get leaving midway through the last half or the last quarter or whatever, because you know the team's going to win. But that's such a sore sport thing to do. Like, just see the game out. Yeah. You paid for it. But so what I've done is I've gone online and I've seen the set list that he does and the encore, and I'm just like, I could miss that.

I could miss Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. And your song. Yeah, your song and Yellow Brick. They saved the biggest bangers till the end. But there's 22 songs before that that are all good. So I don't need the last two. And Mount Smart, I want to get to the train. Goodbye, yellow brick road.

This is what I want to do. We're actually really good at this. Maybe I do want to hear that song. Okay, yeah. I'm also going to have to sit next to this all night. We would have had a couple of warm chardonnays. Oh, yes. And those little plastic bottles.

Your song's like a beautiful ballad. Yeah. I just don't want to get stuck behind all the boomers walking slow to the train. And then I'm not going to get home and then we've got to get up early the next day. I'm just like, maybe I just forget it and just leave. Oh, no, you should leave early. For my sake. The next day.

You'll be buzzing on Alton. You won't be able to sleep when you get home anyway. Yeah, right. Okay, so just. Plus you've paid for it. I know. You've got a whole experience. I know, and it normally does annoy me.

And what if he absolutely tosses it at the end? You're going to miss it. What if he has a big tanty? I don't know. I'd love that. Or something. Yeah, right. That would be pretty good.

It'd be pretty good. He throws his seat into the crowd or something. Well, I might just see how I'm feeling on the night. Yeah, okay. You're definitely going to leave early. You've left a concert. Remember, Megan left that concert early. Halfway through.

Yeah, well, I had another engagement. Let's not talk about that. You made a date appointment was what you had. In the early days of Mr. Toyboy. That's what you had. And Vaughn and I were like, did she just actually leave this concert? One of her favourite bands. Weezer, yeah.

They were playing the Blue Album from start to end. Arguably one of the greatest concerts we've ever been to such a great i saw half of it and then just left for the day unbelievable i'm not leaving for the day oh well i'm only leaving for sleep like that's what i'm leaving for just a little bit and i want to get on the train before all the boomers. Absolute bull. But you don't like being somewhere when it ends. No, because if I do stay till the end,

I will be power walking through people. Like even, it was a cricket game we went to once and I think you were like two overs to go. You're like,

well, I think we all know how this is going to end. Well, yeah, they were going to lose. But I don't think we were going to, well, was it sign, seal, deliver? Yeah, it was this is going to end. Well, yeah, they were going to lose. I don't think we were going to... We did lose. And don't claim you've never ditched anything for some booty.

Fair call, fair call. I'll give you that. I am famous for just ghosting parties because I just want to go to bed. With someone. Absolutely untrue. With someone. So, we want to know what you've left early.

What you were like, yeah, I don't really see the end of this. And maybe people were appalled at your early departure attitude. Yeah. Or maybe something amazing happened and you missed it because you ditched early. Oh, yeah. Like one of those sports games where it actually does end up being like one of the most incredible finishes to a sports game ever. It looked like it was done. And then it was a big comeback. All right, well.

Somebody said, oh, I don't know if that's a spoiler actually, to tell everybody what happens during the encore. Oh. Are they saying I shouldn't leave? They're saying don't do it. Something, something, something is awesome. And then all of these exclamation marks. Goodbye, yellow brick road.

No, no, no, no, no. It's something else. Something else that's happening during. Oh, okay. Oh. Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's something else. Something else that's had endurance. Oh, okay. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, don't spoil it. So don't leave.

I wonder if I could just get everyone to be seated while I leave. Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats while the true diva of tonight's performance puts himself ahead of everybody and leaves. They just need a fast walking lane. It's like they're make an announcement on the flight to make everyone sit because you've got to catch a connecting flight. Oh, those people.

God, I hate those people. You duck and weave and then just they close the road so you'll be able to get to the train easily. Okay, so 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. What did you leave early? But we're talking about now about when you left something early because Fletch floated the idea of leaving Alton pre-encore. And thank you for everyone that's messaged in saying that I must stay.

Yes. I simply must stay for the encore because it is quite special apparently. But people have left a lot of events early. I just this weekend left 6.60 early to get the bus from Mystery Creek. To be first on the bus. Yeah. As I put a foot on the bus, they finished.

Yeah. It took me 20 minutes to get back home. However, I had friends that were driving and they were stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. Oh, here you went. Yeah, that was worth it. Worth it, wasn't it?

Yeah, you've got them there. You've got them there. All right, we'll take some calls. What did you leave early, Gina? So, a few years ago, when Ed Sheeran was in Wellington, me and my friend left early. It paid off because we were crossing the road.

A van stopped at the intersection in front of us and sitting in the back seat was Ed Sheeran. And that was nice. A little bit of eye contact before the hordes of girls chased after them. Wait a minute. Did Ed Sheeran leave Ed Sheeran early as well? I think he would have left just before all you know, all the people would have started to leave. Right. So he just walks off stage

and gets straight in a van and leaves. Well, that's what happens. Yeah. Right. Okay, so worth it.

Oh, do you remember that time I left a concert and you met the band? Oh, I met the band and then I sent you a photo. I was so pissed.

But I didn't even leave early. I just left the, I just left the festival early. There were no other bands I wanted to see. And then Megan met the band and has a photo. Unbelievable.

Mary, why did you leave Queen early at the weekend? Same reason as you. Needed sleep. Yeah. Good. Yeah.

But you paid for the ticket. I know, but like, I had work early the next morning as well. Yeah, good. But you paid for the ticket. I know, but I had work early the next morning as well. Yeah, I went to a concert during a midweek concert and I was falling asleep standing up. I was just like, oh no, this is not good. So we

left before the encore time. Do you know what you missed? I walked away with, I could hear them singing. You didn't leave Bohemian Rhapsody, did you? Yes, that was one of them. Oh! That's the only reason I would go to Queen, is with Bohemian Rhapsody.

Yeah, but why play it right at the end? It's the biggest song. That's what they do. That's what they do. Mary, thanks for your call. Charlotte, what did you leave early? I left my 21st early. Right, was that your choice or alcohol's choice?

That was alcohol's. My friend put me to bed. Your friends? Did the rest of your friends have a great night? I think so. Um, that was alcohol. My friend put me to bed. Good friends. Did the rest of your friends have a great night? Um, I think so. I woke up in the morning and my mum actually called the police. Oh, wow. Oh, because you'd been abducted from your own party.

Yeah. No, no. With what? Um, no, it just got a bit, apparently it got a bit rowdy. Oh, she just called the police on the party, not because she was worried about you. No, not because of me. Oh, that's good.

Brilliant. Charlotte, thanks for your call. Chelsea, what did you leave early? I was working at a restaurant in Paris and I faked a sticky to go home early and about 10 minutes afterwards, I got a text from all the other waitresses saying that Jack Johnson had come in to eat

and I missed it. Brilliant. Was he nice to everyone? Did he tip? Apparently he was lovely and they all got photos and they stayed and had a drink with him and honestly because I turned around and was like I'm coming back and by the time I got there

they'd gone. So you're like miraculously I'm better. Oh Jack Johnson's not here. I'm coming back. And by the time I got there, they'd gone. So you're like, miraculously, I'm better. Oh, Jack Johnson's not here. I'm sick again. I'm sick again. Chelsea, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. Somebody else left their 21st early. Yeah.

Because they'd had too many Jager bombs. Yeah. Dad took me home, but I started to feel better, so we did a few laps around the block. And then I re-entered the party. Yeah. And everyone cheered when I walked back in because I thought I'd bowed on my own 21st

but then I had to leave before everybody else because I drank more. So, okay, right. Double. Double leaving. Double dip. Leaving fake actually leaving. Somebody said we had to leave the Rugby World Cup early

because the person that was looking after our kids rang and said, we're taking one of your kids to the hospital. Oh, I think you said because the All Blacks didn't make the final. They left early too. They left early. Yeah, yeah.

They left famously. Early, yeah. Left very early. I left my boyfriend's cousin's wedding early. I went to the reception, ate the meal. It was lovely.

Had a drink, but left before the dancers started. Everybody was very offended, but that was just how I roll. It gets boring if you don't know people. Mmm. Sad Al. $ you don't know people.

All thanks to Save My Bacon making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper Gary is in with his new, is this your new soundkeeper uniform? Nothing like a mid-competition costume change. What do you think? It doesn't seem like it has money on it. It's got plant vegetation like what's it? What are those palms?

You've got monsteras on you. Monsteras, yeah. And ferns. Trees. Trees, paper, paper, money. This just feels like you wanted to buy a wacky suit and you've put it on the work credit card. Gary? I haven't. Guido gave it to me for free from oppersuits.com and now I've paid for it.

So you're giving free mentions for suits. Can we do that? So he gave you a free suit because you bought a suit. No, he gave me a free suit because I just mentioned it just then. Right. But he's not giving you another money suit. No. It doesn't come in my size.

It's been a few kilograms since the last Secret Sounds. I mean, that last one, you just ripped the arms off and it's all good. Yeah, I had to, like, open up the shorts as well. But that's cool. But, hey, guys, I've got a spare one if anyone wants to try one. Thanks, Guido. Opposites.com. All right, mate.

Okay. But if this isn't a clue, the suit isn't a clue, I shall remain silent on that question. Okay, well, joining us this morning to have a crack. Kelly, how are you? Morning, I'm good, thank you. Good. Now, did you get the

clue yesterday? Did you see the clue? About Gary's work? Yes. Yeah, Now, did you get the clue yesterday? Did you see the clue? About Gary's work? Yes. Yeah. No, I did. Okay. Now, did that change what you thought the sound was? Um, not really.

No, I'm just going to go with what I think it is. Okay. All right. Well, this is the secret sound. $51,000 is the current jackpot, Kelly, and that is all yours if you can tell us what this is. Okay, can I have a guess? Yes.

Okay, my God. That's why you called. Yeah, no, I don't. No pressure. Okay, yeah, good, good. So is that someone pulling out the mascara wand out of the bottle, like a container, and putting it back in?

Like a really close one because it can go. Do you have one, Megan, in your lady purse? What? In my backpack. In your handbag? No, I don't. Any mascaras out there? Oh, Georgia's got one.

Come on in, Georgia. Let's hear it. Oh, reliable Georgia. Let's have a listen. Let's see how closely this sounds, although it might be hard to pick up. All right. Oh, that looks like a nice one.

Is it a nice one? This is two-faced. Better than sex. Oh, okay. All right. Hang on. Quiet on set. Oh.

So there's a bit of a... Do it slower, do it slower. No, because you need to do it fast to get that initial pop. Maybe a little, it's hard to hear, but maybe a little bit, yeah. If it was like amplified. It's not a bad guess. Kelly. Uh-huh.

It's a great guess, but it is not the secret sound. Oh, I got it. All good. All right. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow,

so we thought it would be fun to have TV and radio sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein join us this morning. Hello. Hello. Happy pre-Valentine's Day tomorrow. So we thought it would be fun to have TV and radio sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein join us this morning. Hello. Hello. Happy pre-Valentine's Day. Thank you for our presents. I think this is the most I'll get for Valentine's Day, but we'll just leave that there.

Well, that means you could use your gift to get more on Valentine's Day. Well, maybe, sure. Did you see what I got born? No. It looks like a lipstick, but it's not a lipstick. It's a fun lipstick. It's a toy. It's a fun toy.

It's a fun lipstick. And then when you're looking around your bag for that lipstick, you'll probably pull the wrong one out. I reckon that would get you in trouble at airport security if you forgot you left that in your handbag. Oh, yeah. Don't want to do that. Don't take that on an international flight.

No. Or to the Middle East. No. Yes. Very true. What are you in prison for? I thought it was a lipstick, but it's an adult fun toy. Yeah.

And here we are. It does happen. I have heard of those cases where people are taking adult products into the Middle East and it's not allowed. Really? Yeah. That's nuts, eh? What they're missing.

Yeah. Exactly. Really? Yeah. That's nuts, eh? What they're missing. Yeah, exactly. So among other things, you are talking about how social media is killing Valentine's Day. Yeah, so this is my pet peeve because I get really annoyed when you scroll through things like Instagram and Facebook and everyone's putting these grand gestures of this perfect romantic Valentine's Day and this humongous bunch of flowers and gifts and we all know that that's not the reality and that couple's probably fighting or someone's cheating

or they're at, you know, the end of their relationship. And for everybody else, it doesn't matter what your partner has done. You look at that and think, ah, I missed out or that's not good enough. So this is where I think this Valentine's Day we have to actually get a bit more real on social media, which is why I'm encouraging people to post their bad Valentine's Day stories to kind of actually have a look at the fact that it can be an imperfect day

and it isn't supposed to be this romantic flying cupids and hearts looks perfection. Really, we've got to be present and appreciate whatever our partner does do for us but also celebrate love in general and not put this pressure that we all have to project the perfect persona but you you could say that's for anything at the moment in life yeah because this is what social media is doing to us isn't it yeah but then on valentine's day it's amplified yeah so it's a good issue to talk about because i think we need to be more mindful when we are posting about our relationships. Are we doing it for validation from other people? Do we really need to post everything that happens at someone's birthday? It's an anniversary. And we've all got those friends that, you know, they're arguing and then you see that post,

oh babe, I'd be lost without you. Tell them. They're probably laying right next to you in the bed. Why not tell them and keep some private moments for yourself and your partner and be present with those and just share some things, not everything. We should just get rid of Valentine's Day full stop then. Well, sometimes I think it's not a bad idea because really what's the intent of it? Yeah, yeah.

You know, like... Sell things and buy overpriced flowers. It has become commercialised. I mean, I feel like you can't not do it. You know, you'd feel like you're missing out if you just ignore the whole thing together. So a solution would be cancelling it, but I think you'd have a lot of people to object to that.

So that's why I think you've got to redefine it. Like celebrate love. If you've got a best mate or you've got a family member. I sent my mum a flower, like one of those forever flowers in a box. I sent my brother flowers to his work, but I did it with the intent just to embarrass him. I like that idea. It's a nice sister, isn't it?

Just a big bunch of flowers that rocks up to the office. Oh, who's it from? Your sister. But now I feel guilty because, like, you guys know, like, me and my husband are real, like, soppy, and we always do romantic things. Are you that person that posts everything online? You know, she doesn't post, in her defence,

she doesn't post everything. But we all know a lot. A but not everything we all know people who are worse well well this is it i get that you want to share some things but i think it's always asking the why like you've got to challenge yourself or what is the intent do i actually want to share this moment or just call a spade a spade am i looking to feel good about myself and get a bit of a rise from the validation because I think we've got to be honest with ourselves and go well why are we doing it do we actually want to share this moment or is there a secret intent and that's kind of that cycle for how we're using online these days is it's become more about validation than communication or sharing a moment and that sends us into that headspace of not being

present and not being able to appreciate where we are or a dinner that we're at or a function that we're at. It's more about will I get validation for that image later when I put it up and then it'll look like I had a good time and then I can convince myself I had a good time. Oh, my God. Is this too deep for the morning? No, no, no, it's good.

I feel like that's kind of why anyone posts on Instagram. It's just like, it's not really because you're like wanting to share this moment with everyone. It's just like everyone just wants a bit of validation. But then it becomes a dangerous cycle. When do we actually stop being happy? We're so caught up in that online world and we've been given this great tool.

Like it's fantastic. We can grow businesses from it. We can communicate. But I really think that we need to have a healthier relationship with social media not just for the relationships but for your life in general there are people that live every aspect online of their relationship and you wonder what their relationship would look like if that suddenly disappeared where would they post those mushy posts to say, hey, love you, babe? Would they actually have to talk to each other? Yeah.

It sounds horrible, but, you know, my partner doesn't have social media, so I'm in a position where I actually just have to say, hey, I love you. And it is kind of nice. Like, we get to save ourselves away from why are you following that person and why have you liked their posts? You know, you don't have to do all of that.

Thankfully Instagram did get rid of that feature. Oh yeah. Just to save us all. Thankfully for Fletch. This one is very lucky. Me. Yes you. Don't play innocent.

Okay, that was very, very interesting. So, go on. So, we're going, we're going. How do you, how would you propose people navigate? Because not everyone likes Valentine's Day. I love it. I've got, like, we're both very soppy and romantic and we always do things. But, like, not everyone loves Valentine's Day.

How do people navigate the day? Well, I think that you should celebrate love in general. So, you know, if you do want to do it, but you don't have a partner or you don't have a partner that you're really into the sloppy thing, like a lot of women, right? Guys aren't always into Valentine's Day, but it tends to be something that women want to do. So why not celebrate or go out for dinner with a girlfriend? And you're probably going to have a better time and dote after each other and say, I'll buy you a bunch of flowers. Why don't you buy me one? And that way you're probably not going to be left disappointed, but you don't have to celebrate

Valentine's Day. If this is not something that you believe in and you think that you should be showing love every day, then don't feel the pressure to conform just because everyone else is doing it. I think that's the important message that however you want to live your relationship, whatever rules you want to live by, then back that up. Don't cave in because someone else is doing it all or feel like you have to do that gesture, even when it might not be what your relationship is about because you don't want to miss out. Yeah.

You've got to be honest instead of thinking what you should be doing to please the masses. Yeah. Right, and you've got a book, don't you? What's it called? Single... Single Bit Dating. Yeah.

So if you're single on Valentine's called? Single? Single Bit Dating. Yeah. So if you're single on Valentine's Day, pick up Single Bit Dating. And they're one of those lipstick things that make you. The night goes really bad. I could say the night would go very well.

Now, you know it doesn't do makeup, right? Oh, what does it do? Oh, I know. Well, Dr. Nikki Goldstein, thank you so much for coming in. Thanks for having me. Happy Valentine's Day. Thank you.

Thank you. Yesterday, I got a text from my dad. He likes to send me pictures. Yep. Not often with much explanation. In fact, he sent me a picture yesterday saying that there's a video store still in Nelson. So it's very exciting.

Still going? Still excited. Yeah, still going. What kind? United Video. Well, United Video. Whoa. But this is the kind of content

I get from my dad. And then he followed it up with a second picture, which is what I want to talk about. So my mum, who famously hates getting her photo taken, like at our wedding, she limited her photo taking as well. Yeah, she doesn't like it.

Special day. Dressed up, had her makeup done and everything. She still hates it. Keep that in mind. Yeah. She sent, he sent me a photo yesterday of mum getting her photo taken with her rubbish man. Why?

So, um. What's the rubbish man's name? I don't actually know. She knows his name. I didn't ask. He's got his high-vis jacket on. The truck's there. He's hopped out of the truck. The rubbish man's there too. He obviously picked it up.

But they had their arms around each other. Big grin. And Dad said Mum's upset because it's the rubbish man's last day. What's he? Where's he going? I don't know. No information. We don't have his name. Is he moving overseas? Is he stepping up?

Can we get Ray Ray on the phone? We should have got Ray Ray on the phone. She is smiling though but she's not like not upset. But that's a bit weird. though, but she's not like, not upset. But that's a bit weird. But how does she make

friends with the rubbish man? So she bought him bears for Christmas and then every time he comes up she has a yarn with his day. Is your dad worried something's going on here? She does with everyone. She knows that the postie lady. Bit of a boomer trade, isn't it?

The postie's always a big one. My parents will scorch diamonds for Christmas and stuff. I talk to the postie. Our postie, when she comes down the driveway to drop something off, we have a bit of a chat.

Yeah, right. But you're not going to give her a Christmas present. Well, I didn't last Christmas, but now I feel like I should have. Lots of people get their couriers Christmas presents. You should get them some kind of psychological counselling.

I have a lot of couriers. Yeah. So if I was to buy them all presents, it would be a lot, you know? We need to know where the rubbish truck guy's going. Yeah, me too. I want to know his name and I want to know where he's going. Is he staying within the company? Is he moving to another industry?

I don't think that. She tells me lots of names of people, delivery drivers. Where is she putting this picture? Like in a frame? Well, I don't know. I don't think she's putting it anywhere because her eyes are closed. Oh, right.

So it's not a great photo of her. But he's also got his arm around her. And Dad took that. I was like, yeah, he looks pretty happy. It's a platonic. It's a platonic. Is there a rule within the rubbish community that you can't date

your... Well, it's much like doctors. That's why he's getting out of the biz. Because he wants to come back and much like the arm of the rubbish truck scoops up the bin, he wants to scoop up your mum, tip her upside down, shake her a bit,

and then shake her again because she's still got something stuck in her, and then be like, oh, well, that's up to them, and then plonk her back on the sidewalk. Oh, she said his name is Izzy. That's all. She's got no other details. Is she listening? His name is Izzy.

Message and tell us why he's leaving, Ray Ray. Fine. Oh, we got her. Ray Ray, good morning. Good morning. Morning. Now, this Izzy chap, where's he going? What's he doing?

Why is he leaving? He's leaving and he's going to go and work for another company in Nelson. So he's travelling from Nelson to Christchurch every day. Okay. Ray Ray, why did you need a photo with him? What are you going to do with this photo? Well, he's special. We just took a photo, so he had a photo of us.

Okay. He's special. He's been doing our rubbish run for a long time. You're telling me he's driving to Christchurch every day from Nelson? Yep. Well, he goes to Christchurch and then stays overnight and comes back the next day. Right, okay.

So we'll miss him. Are you going to, like, the next rubbish truck guy? Well, I'll have to train him. He looks a bit sad at the moment, but I'll knock him into shape. Why does he look sad? He has to tip your rubbish into a truck.

Yeah, well, you know, if he didn't tip my rubbish, I'd have it sitting on the front lawn, wouldn't I? Yeah, you're right, he does a great job. He's going to be special. Was Dad worried about your relationship with Izzy? No, I don't think so.

No, well, you see, Izzy, I think, is a mate of Justin's, and so it sort of went from there. Of course, it's Nelson. Everyone knows everyone. It's a family thing, see? Yeah, OK. So you're really going to miss him? Yeah, I will, but I'll adjust.

Is your rubbish truck... Are there people on the back of your rubbish truck or is it a one-man operation with the arm? Yeah, one man. I've got to put in this... I have a bit of a problem with the postie because he doesn't like the rubbish bin too close to the letterbox on Wednesday.

I've got to put it in the right position. Yeah, no, that's fair enough. Do you want to do a shout-out to your postie? What's your postie's name? Oh, no, we've just got a new postie at the moment. I'm knocking him into shape too. There's lots of changes up on the hill. This is a lot to deal with.

Yeah, well, we only get the postie Monday, Wednesday, Friday, so I don't want to upset him. God, the bloody Labour government, am I right? Do you need to make sure you're home when they come, Ray Ray? Oh no, no, no, I put the wheelie out, but I usually hear Izzy coming because he toots down the bottom of the hill. That's a handy thing, because then if you don't have the bin out, you've got a little time to get the bin out. This is great. Alright, well Ray Ray, we're thinking of you in this hard time.

It's a bad week. Turbulent times. Losing your rubber strap driver. All the best, Izzy. Yeah, it know, hard time. Turbulent times. Losing your row of stripes. Yeah, it's been very traumatic. Alright, thanks. You might need to send some flowers and some chocolates, Megan. Oh no, I gave him some shortbread. Oh, you're giving them shortbread? Did you make the shortbread?

Yeah. I don't think that he's encouraged to eat biscuits from... Oh no, he said it'll be lovely. He's going to put it in his little bag for when he takes to Christchurch. After he's drunk the beer. He'll drink the beer when he gets to Christchurch. You want to be staying the night, that's okay.

But if he's drunk... This is like every call to your mum and dad, eh? Thanks, Ray. Ray, next on the show, it's fact of the day. I bet your mum makes a good shortbread. She does. Oh, bye. Bye.

See ya. Flesh, Fawn Oh, bye. Bye. See ya. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Right now, though, time for Fact of the Day, day, day, about Shrek. The movie franchise.

Okay. Shrek, which has made a lot of money. Yeah. And had four trips. I saw it's a stage show as well. Yes. A musical. Yeah, it's a musical.

I walked past it in Melbourne. People said it's really good. Is it? I know. Huh. Surprising. Doesn't it have the Smash Mouth song in there? Yes. Good. That's all I face. It's not Smash Mouth. No, it's actually not. No. Surprising. Does it have the Smash Mouth song in there? Yes.

Good. That's all her face. Is that Smash Mouth? No, it's actually not. No, they covered that, eh? Is there another one? There's a monkey song originally. There's another one.

Anyway. I don't know. Carry on. That's Vaughn's thinking face. He's trying to remember the other song. No, I don't know why you've put a mental block in place that I can't think of. Go to Internania. It's her favourite song.

Smash Mouth. I don't think of. Go to Intern Anya. It's her favourite song. Smash Mouth. I don't think that was in Shrek. Yeah. What is it? And then I saw her thing. Oh, yeah, that one. But do they have another one? Hey now, you're a nuster.

That's the one. Get together. Yeah, you said that's not the one, and it was like you put up a mental block, and I couldn't think of any other Smash Mouth songs. My own special power. God, it was terrifying. I'm a mind messer.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the fact isn't about Smash Mouth. It's about Shrek and the fact that Mike Myers, who played Shrek, you'll know as Austin Powers and Wayne from Wayne's World. Yep. He originally voiced Shrek in a heavy Canadian accent. Okay.

He recorded, he's Canadian originally, so he really amped up his accent. He recorded the entire voice record for Shrek in a Canadian accent. And then he said, I don't think it feels right. Yep. Give me a few days. And he went away and came back full Canadian.

Right. But animation had kind of, a lot of animation had been done around the Canadian voice. Yeah. And when he came back with the Scottish voice, they had to do a whole lot of, well, they had to re-record all of the voice work. Yeah.

They had to re-record scenes where he had recorded at the same time as other actors, which didn't happen a lot. Yeah, right. They could have done a lot, but there was actors they had to get back in. Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy were all involved in Shrek. You couldn't imagine any other voice.

I know. Other than the Scottish accent. It cost DreamWorks an additional $4 million US. Just because he's like, we're going Scottish now. We're going Scottish. I've decided I'm going heavily Scottish. Worth it, though. So they had to re-record the whole thing.

In 2007, however, in an interview, he said, oh yeah, we had some ideas float around and I tried this sort of Canadian accent, but it didn't connect. So we went with Scottish because fairy tales are often set in European times and Scottish. I can do a Scottish accent and it was scary. And an executive at the time was like, yeah, he didn't just troll it. We recorded the whole thing. It wasn't like a momentary pass. So today's fact of the day is Shrek could have been Canadian.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. One of the latest evictees from The Bachelorette New Zealand joins us in studio right now, and he is our ZM wildcard. Flynn, good morning. Good morning. It was a sad day in Argentina yesterday. Connor and Flynn, neither of you received roses tonight,

which means your time in Argentina has come to an end. Oh, we cut off the sad music. Violence. Sad music trail out. Yeah. You got sent home from Argentina. Yeah, yeah. It was a pretty cool place to kind of get sent home.

I would have loved to have spent more time there. Well, that was what I was going to ask. Did you get to spend like a week there or were you straight on a plane once you'd left? Yeah, pretty much straight on a plane. We got like a day to kind of explore until our flight the following night. So that was kind of cool. So we had a bit of time to actually like explore the city and grab lunch and whatever.

So that was cool. But yeah, definitely quick turnaround. Yeah. How much longer are the rest of these suckers in Argentina for? I don't know. You don't know. If they only left A couple of days later Maybe you got the

Got the best of it you know Yeah true Yeah you're still Are you just looking For a silver lining You know me Sure Positive guy

How did you like Your time on the show I really really enjoyed it It was Yeah It was such a good time And made some amazing friends From it as well

Which is cool I felt bad for you though Because I You seemed like You thought you were going to get a rose you seemed pretty confident i don't know there was two people going so when you said two i was like oh crap i'm out i'm out can we um also discuss the cocktail party um the cocktail I lingered a bit long because Mark got naked

and yeah okay explain yeah so we were just sitting around and then they were talking about how they had to draw a model that day and then I think the life drawing I think it was a senior's idea to draw Mark and then Mark just fully obviously embraced it

and then I went to the bathroom and I came back and he was just fully naked standing on that bench. Because I was like, they put a happy face over bits. And I was wondering like if he was actually naked under there. 100% every person in the house, including the host, saw Mark. Wow. The crew. Do you think that worked in his favour?

Well, Lucina was impressed in her interview, so... And you got a rose, so... I don't know if I would have... She enjoyed it, but I don't know if I would have reacted like that if someone just got, like, butt naked. Oh, yeah, but you've seen heaps.

Yeah, just another one, eh you've seen heaps. Yeah, just another one, eh? Yeah, right on. How did the guys,

the rest of the guys react? What were they all thinking? I don't know, like,

all Tevita and us, we were just like, that's just what he does, like, we love him

for it, so maybe some of the guys might have thought it was a bit, like,

random, but I mean, he was a stripper, so, like, it's... Yeah, right. Yeah. It was very random. It's no big deal. It was funny.

Very random. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Okay. Well, it's just, now, you grew up in a naturist family, Megan. It's just new. I know, but, like, time and a place. If everyone else is wearing, like, cocktail dresses and soaps and stuff,

I don't think you, like, that's the place to get naked. No, it's like the races. You go to the races with the best intention, don't you? You start out looking nice. And then at the end of the day, you're high heels in your hands. You're doing wheeze in the rhododendrons. And you've lost your knickers. Yeah.

And those rhododendrons scratch. Yeah. You get past the leafy surface. And then you're on one of those best of photos of the Melbourne Cup. Yeah. And they blow your face, but there's no mistake, and that's definitely your hoo-ha. Oh, my God.

So is there anyone there that you think is not there for the right reasons? Honestly, not really, no. Right, okay. Oh, I wanted some dirt, Flynn. Okay. Well, who do you think is going to take it out for Lucina and Lily? I might pick the moment

either Jessie or Quinn for Lily Jessie sure I love Jessie Jessie's our mate he used to work here

so oh god and then when he farted on the couch on the first episode I was like oh here we go he let his farts on fire

like a couple times yeah we heard about that yeah they actually they showed it last night as well yeah it was pretty good

he was pretty good at it. So cheesy. Yeah. It can backfire sometimes. It literally backfires. Yeah, yeah. But at least you've got a doctor there. True.

Yeah. True. She can tend to the burns. The nasty burns. Well, you didn't drag ZM's name through the dirt, so thanks for that. You're welcome. If we could say the same for Fletch, that'd be great.

He's a bad man. All right. Thanks for coming in, Flynn. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We spend 8,000 hours of our lives doing this. 110 hours per year. And it's such a waste. Is it looking in the fridge to see if more food's appeared? Oh, that's way more than 8,000 hours.

Okay. Right. Is it folding clothes? And as though they're just going to get unfolded again? Yeah, true. No. No. It's ruining your past decisions.

So regretting, regretting stuff. You spend 8,000 hours of your lives regretting things you've done. Oh, no. Or haven't done. That's no way to live life. Yeah. Because you can't change it, can you? No.

It's in the past. You always hear that that's what people say on their deathbed, that they wish they'd taken more risks or done whatever made them happy. Yeah. And those are the main things that people were regretting or not doing their dream job, not pursuing what their passion was. And then people spend so much time worrying.

Yeah, right. Regretting choices. Regretting breakups. Regretting not travelling. There's heaps of it. 110 hours a year That's life isn't it? Yeah, no regerts

No regerts What did you, when you said that's life what do you mean that's life? Regretting things Well you just gotta make choices You just gotta make choices, you can't dwell on it can you? But obviously we are Yeah And some people regret things more than others.

Because what's that saying? You can't regret it because at the time that's what you wanted. Yeah. So get over it and just fix it if you're you know? Yeah. I mean that's how I mean I'm different. I know people that will just yeah worry and regret and just spend a lot of time. Yeah.

I don't regret things because whether it was good or bad at the time, it still got you where you are, you know? Yeah. It changed you in certain ways and made you who you are today. I just looked up quotes about regret. Oh, okay. What have you got?

There's 798 quotes that are tagged regret on brainyquote.com. This would be great for Instagram today. What's that? This will be great for my Instagram today. Okay, yeah. We must all suffer one of two things, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. How does that one sit with you?

Oh, it's all right. Okay. C.S. Lewis, who wrote Alice in Wonderland? I don't know. That whole series? No, the wardrobe one. What's the one with the wardrobe? The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Who wrote Alice in Wonderland? I don't know. That whole series? No, the wardrobe one. What's the one with the wardrobe? The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Who wrote Alice in Wonderland? A.A. Mildred, Winnie the Pooh. Everyone was rocking an initial name. Is it Alice in Wonderland or Alice in Wonderland? Alice in Wonderland. She was in. Lewis Carroll. Yeah, Lewis Carroll.

Lewis Carroll. C.S. Lewis. He had a perm. He had a perm. Look, he had a lovely perm. A lot of people He had a perm. He had a perm. Look, he had a lovely perm. A lot of people do have a perm. Don't, excuse me, don't perm shame Lewis Carroll. 1865 Lewis Carroll had a perm.

There was the rage in 1865. Bring back the perm. Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are things better ahead than any we leave behind, apart from that perm. Look at Charles Dickens. He had some Princess Leia buns on the side. Amazing.

There's a lot of options back there. It's just different here at the time. It's better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret. I think that's the best one. That's a good one. How many hours? 80,000. 80,000. That's a lot of time to be wasting.

You could be Netflixing instead. No, it's 8,000. But that's still a lot of time to be wasting. No, in your lifetime. If you're watching that much Netflix, you get to the end of it. Are you going to regret watching one of those things?