ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 17th

Episode Date: February 16, 2020

Fletch's awkies wardrobe malfunction, Daily treat vs treat day and viagra before Elton JohnSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'm tired. Post Elton John tired. You got to go home a bit earlier than anticipated. No. So, when we were leaving, because we drove, there was an incident. Not sure what it was, but traffic just did not move. Yeah, well, for those that missed the news last night, Elton John, was it his 17th song out of 25?

He just lost his voice. He's got walking pneumonia. Yeah, walked off stage, and that was it. And he was out in a car, because I got out pretty quick. I saw him get his police escort out like literally three or four minutes later. Poor dude. He wasn't mucking around.

Can you tell everyone he said he had walking pneumonia? Can you tell everyone what you thought? Well, no, I just thought that it was someone with pneumonia

who was just getting through it. Who was just battling. Who was just walking it off. I'd never heard that term before. It's a recent because my

mother-in-law was a nurse. Yep. And has nurse, active nurse friends. So she messaged them to find out what it was. Oh, really? It's a type of acute pneumonia. Pneumonia. Upper respiratory.

Upper respiratory. And you can have it without it showing any more symptoms than the common cold. Right. But if you keep pushing, it can get really like, if you don't look after yourself. Right. Take a little break. Like if you've got an extensive tour schedule right through until May. Yeah, and you're 70 whatever years old.

Yeah, good lord. Yeah. So that means his next two shows, I guess, are... In jeopardy. Question mark. Yeah, question mark. You'd be a little nervous. Because even did you feel like, because he said at the start of the night, I'm a little sick.

He walked out, he's like, I'm a little bit sick. I'm going to walk in the bathroom. I was like, oh, we ain't getting the whole show. No, no. And then powered through songs. Yeah, like, do these songs, and you'd be like, oh, there's nothing wrong with that.

I mean, it probably wasn't his best, but you wouldn't have noticed, would you? It seems to me, you live your life. And then he'd get to the end and be like... You were just like, how are you doing this? Yeah, it was nuts. Christine, my mother, she said his 1974 show at Western Springs was better.

How could she even remember? She was 16, she caught a bus up from Mata Mata. And went to the Art and John show at Western Springs. Yeah. Well, he was a younger man then. He didn't have pneumonia. He was a much, much younger man. Good Lord.

God, his band were old too, eh? Old mates. No, but they usually just said to me, they looked like justices of the peace. Or like, they were all in like suits. They all just looked like distinguished gentlemen. Except for the one with long hair. He looked like he ran the hoop toss at the carnival.

Well, you've got to throw a hoop over a bottle. They were great though. Didn't Gucci dress him and all of his like outfits? Oh, their suits were amazing. Gucci. Gucci babs. You've got the top six dealing with the Elton John walk-off porn. Yeah, the top six get-well-soon Kiwi remedies for Elton.

You know how Kiwis were shocking at having a solution for your cold? Lemon and honey? Is that on the list? Oh, you know. If that's not number one, I'll be disappointed. We'll see. We'll see. All right, you lot, listen up. It's not number one. I'll be disappointed. We'll see. We'll see. All right, you lot.

Listen up. It's story time. Story time. As usual, I've got three news headlines for interesting, oft funny, odd stories. Oft funny. Oft funny. And Vaughan and Megan, you must pick one of the three headlines only.

Headline one, Utah plates slip through. Headline two, zookeepers dung job. And headline three, man trolled over name. Aw. Those are your three headlines. Zookeepers dung job. Yep. Picking up the animal poo.

Is it about making a bit of side hustle? No, it's not, no. Because do they sell zoo poo? Yeah. Bit of a side hustle there. Yeah, right, because it would be good for your garden, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. Unless, no, you wouldn't be able to have the feces of the meat poo, would you?

Oh, no, you wouldn't use the meat, it is primarily the feces of the herbivore. Thank you. For the garden. I don't know if we need to hear that word. So people would be like, why do these tomatoes taste so good? You'd be like, that, my friend. Zebra shit. Oh, yuck.

Okay. Yum, yum. I've forgotten what story number one was. Utah plate slipped through. So that's a personalized plate, is it? With a little bit of a naughty word. There's some, well, there's a few, yeah. That have slipped through, yes. Okay, I think I like that. Because this year, what was it, with a little bit of a naughty word? There's some, well, there's a few, yeah. That have slipped through, yes.

Okay, I think I like that. Because this year, what was it, a month ago? We looked to invest in bumhole. Yeah, but they turned that down. As a plate, but they said it'll never get through. What about the name? Man trolled over name. Well, I'm okay with either of those.

Well, which one do you want, Megan? I don't know. Which one's better? I want the better out of the two of those. Please. Well, I'm not here to tell you which one to pick. A little hint. A little sniff.

What do you want? Licence plates. Licence plates are going to be easier laughs. Okay. I want him to think. Well, he's got a funny name. How hard is that going to be? Maybe it's not a funny name.

Oh, okay. Is it like his name's something controversial? All right. Well, we go to Utah now where they are looking at an overhaul of their approval system for personalized plates. After a few have slipped through, Deportim is the latest one that's in the news. DeportM, obviously, you know. M. It's America.

Deportim. Like deport them. Like deport them. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently that plate stayed in use for more than three years, according to the Salt Lake Tribune, through an open records request. That wasn't the only plate that prompted allegations of bigotry at the department. Drivers have taken to Utah roads with license plates,

Negroes, Fuhrer, and I don't even want to say that one, Vaughn. Nuggets, Negroes, Führer, and Jew... I don't even want to say that one, Vaughn. Do you get that one? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think we should say that. Oh, my God.

I know. Oh, what is that? I have to say now for that reaction. Oh, my. It references the Holocaust. Yeah. I know. That was on a personalized plate.

What is wrong with people? But meanwhile, and this is what people are like, what is up with you, Utah? Personalised plates such as coffee and Merlot were rejected. Because of drugs. Because of the drugs and that's a... Yeah. But horrendous racism.

Yes. A-OK. Yeah, exactly. Wow. And anti-Semitism. So, yes. Some of the challenge plates, one including pubes, they were deemed immediately out of bounds.

But, yeah, there does need to be a new system put in place, and that's why these plates are in the news. Wow. Do you want to know about the man and his name? Because I Googled it. I'll have a taste. Megan. Storm Dennis is his name, and there's a storm called Dennis coming in,

so he's getting a lot of... Like, I think most of the UK is underwater as we speak. Right. Because of that. But, yeah, he was named Storm after a storm. Oh. And people have just been finding him on Facebook. And his last name's Dennis.

Yeah. And they've just been sending him messages on Facebook, like, can you just go away for the weekend? Oh. Stop ruining my weekend. Buddy. name's Dennis. Yeah. And they've just been sending him messages on Facebook like, can you just go away for the weekend? Stop ruining my weekend. Buddy. It's okay. Like I guess they're searching Storm Dennis on Facebook and it's coming up with his profile.

Yeah. Yeah. You're floating in my basement. Yeah. You're making it hard to get the kids to sport. Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. So 15 cigarettes is pretty bad for you a day So 15 cigarettes is pretty bad for you a day. Any cigarettes is pretty bad for you a day. If you were smoking 15 cigs a day, you'd have to be a multimillionaire, wouldn't you? How much is a... Yeah. Like... How many are in a pack?

20? Yeah, 20 or... I forget exactly what... I just remember we talked, what, a month or two ago about how expensive they are now. Yeah. It's gone up even more. And ago about how expensive they are now. Yeah. It's gone up even more, and in Australia too, it's insane. Yeah. Well, there's something that's worse for you, and it's kind of something.

Oh, I can tell you there's a, at Quitline, quit.org.nz, there's a calculator. Oh, yeah. And what do you smoke? I smoke. None. Cigarettes by grams, pipes by grams, cigars, cigarettes by the packet. And it tells you. Per day. Oh, that would be confronting if you had to

put in your yearly figure. That would make me quit just from the go. Oh, you have to put in your own price for how much cigarettes cost. I don't know what that is. You keep going. I'll come back to you with some stats. There's something that's worse

for you than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It's worse for you than obesity. And it's something that you don't really have a lot of control over. Okay. Loneliness. What if you smoke 15 ciggies a day and you're lonely? Oh, God. It's, yep.

Doubly bad. So apparently this is a new study that's been done. 20,000 Americans, they said that they were lonely. And it's worse for people over 72. So this is our grandparents are extremely lonely. And then it's from 18 to 22, for Gen Zers, the score was pretty high as well. Wow. Okay, so if Nan's a chain smoker, at the rest time, you might need to visit her a bit more. But it's like, it's really young, 18 to 22 year olds, and then it's the older generation as well.

So why don't they all just hang out? They need to get a lecture. You know they love to go on. There's a divide there, isn't there? There's a divide, yeah. No, they get to that sweet spot. Oh, no, they don't. I can't speak for all of them

because I just think my wife's granddad was a real prick. But they get to that sweet spot where they get so old, they don't care as though they loosen up a bit. Yeah. And then you get, you know, there's some really good folks out there that have probably got some ripper yarns to tell about the old days. Yeah. Well, they said in order to fix it, we need meaningful social interaction,

which is why the Gen Zers aren't getting it because social media, that's not meaningful. And then the older people because people just aren't visiting as much. So, yeah, that's definitely what needs to happen. The two need to come together and hang out. We'll just strike up some yarns in those little smokers areas in the haze. But we don't want you to be smoking. Yeah, well, obviously there's that, sure.

But if you're going to, I'm just thinking. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Don't be lonely as well. Yeah. So if you, I went on 15 cigarettes a day. Yeah. A 25 pack of cigarettes.

Yeah. Which cost $40. Yeah. That's not the most expensive one either. Yeah. At 15 cigarettes a day, it's $168 a week. Whoa. $720 a month.

$8,760 a year. Whoa. That's nuts, eh? Whoa! That's insane. Yeah. Crazy. So, at least loneliness is free.

Oh my God. It's so sad. No, but what about all the cake and stuff? Because cake makes you feel better when you're lonely. My best friend's a piece of cake. I'm my best friend and I'm lonely again. I need my cake. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan

and Megan. The podcast. Blenheim. Blenheim. Blenheim. A record breaking year in Blenheim last year. And it wasn't the sunshine hours. No, it wasn't that. It wasn't record high temperatures. Although, probably. Was it the grapes, the harvest?

Sadly not. Sadly not a record amount of delicious Pinot Noir. Is that what's famous? No, it's the whites. It's the whites. It's coastal. Yeah. Not my favourite wine region.

I'm just... Moira. You're a central O. I'm a central O. I'm a central O guy. He loves a big O. I'm a central O. I'm a central O guy. He loves a big O. You know, my roaring neg. My big O.

How good is a roaring neg? But amount difficulty. Oh, yes. Colder. Don't mind a lunch at Amersfield. You twist my arm. I'll go with you. No, Blenheim, the record-breaking year for you was Code Browns.

99 Code Browns last year in Blenheim's public pool. That's like, when you think about there are 365 days of the year, that's what every three days. Three and a bit days. How many pools are there? Oh, you mean

this is just one swimming complex? This is Stadium 2000, which I'm guessing was a stadium. This is Stadium 2000. Right. Which I'm guessing was a stadium that was made in 2000. Right, okay. To celebrate. No Y2K bug. Yep.

In winter last year, they rolled out the educational campaign hoping to keep the pools poo-free. Please tell me it had a catchy name. What would you call your educational code brown? Fecy freefree Fridays. Fridays. Feces-free. Then what about Monday through Thursday?

Target everybody on one day. They can't guarantee. Just try to keep Fridays feces-free. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Wow. That could work. Well, they had to constantly remind parents

that their children should go to the toilet before swimming. Because, I mean, you've got kids. When you go to a pool, don't they have to wear the... Swimming nappies. The swimming nappies. Yeah. Well, yeah, but not everybody's chucking the kids in a swimming nappy. Because I'm guessing, do they cost more?

But then if you can afford to take your kids to the pool, surely you can afford a swimming nappy. Well, it's just one of those things that you have to do Yeah But then maybe it's not It's been called a polite and good public citizen isn't it But it's not always the infants No it's not Remember Central Otago, Queensland had the mysterious

Southland Code Browner Yes Did they ever catch that person Did that ever stop? No, I don't know. It might have quietened down. It's grim, isn't it? It's so grim.

Because I went to the pool the other day with a friend, and one of the pools, I don't swim in it, but it's the kids' pool. Yeah. Has, like, the big water jungle gym in it or whatever it's called. Yeah. And that was just closed and had a sign, like, this pool closed.

And I was like, I know what that's code for. That's code brown, code for code brown. And a kid's pooed and then stomped it through the grate. Oh. But it's not just kids. As I got older, I can't do a public pool anymore. Even just a floating hair is like. Or a plaster.

Oh, plasters are nasty. My tolerance for it has just gone right down. But it's not just kids. It's the old girls doing aqua aerobics as well. That just slips out. So they said the council term Code Brown covers solid poo, diarrhea, or vomit. And there was cases of vomiting in the pool.

Diarrhea? Oh, come on. I can understand vomiting more because that can be a little bit involuntary. It can just hit you. It can hit you. But so can diarrhea, man. Diarrhea is not always by choice. Famously, I do know that, yes.

Yeah. But usually they said everyone would close the pool for at least three hours up to six. Oh, grumpy. Or what, you just dump two massive buckets of chlorine in? And hope it goes away. And hope for the best. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan,

the podcast. ZM. School, a college in Invercargill, James Hargis College, has made the news. That just reminds me, the minute you said that name,

it just reminds me of the Rock Quest. Why? You host the Rock Quest, the Smoke Train Rock Quest, and there's all these schools around the country, you never hear of them. Because you know the schools in your area, right? Yeah. Growing up.

And then you hear about these spots, what's another one? Yeah. A new plumber? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one in Palmerston North. Okay. That's another person's name.

Lots of names. Okay, yeah. And you're like, I must look up who that person is. And you never do. Yeah. And then you hear of Hargreaves, is that it? Hargist. Harg names. You're like, I must look up who that person is. And you never do. And then you hear Hargreaves. Is that what it was? Hargust. James Hargust. Next up, the smoke-free

request from James Hargust College. Make some noise for stool and table. However people name their request bands these days. They just went around the room for that one, didn't they? Disposable cup.

Make some noise for mixed grade egg in the cream clover honey. So James Hargis College, they have made news for updating their uniform process. Females may now wear shorts or pants, which is cool. Pants, given the fact that it's in the South Island. It's cold. There's like two weeks where shorts are all right. Yeah, stockings a million times because they get ladders in them all the time.

So they're allowed to, but they must talk to a school guidance counsellor before they can get rid of the skirt. For what purpose? So, I was very confused too. Do the counsellor give advice can get rid of the skirt. For what purpose? So I was very confused too. What, is the counsellor giving advice on how to wear pants? So you put your leg through, then repeat with other leg. Remember to pull them up too because I'm always not forgetting, not remembering to pull mine up and then I fall over. And God, I'm always in such a hurry to get to Rockwest

to see secondhand scissors in the power cord. That sounds like a real psychedelic indie band. Yeah, yeah. I think that their intentions are good but misguided. So they I think the intention is that they need to talk to someone to make sure they're aware of the

possible reactions of other kids if they move away from skirt. What a load of rubbish. What, like kids have never seen someone in a pair of pants before? Oh, my God. No, I... Where have your legs gone? They're inside the material.

Aren't these an amazing invention? Nope, nope. I can't see your knees. I can't trust you. That's it. You're uninvited to the gig tonight where you'll be seeing fruit in a mesh bag and the remote batteries. You're really good at naming bands.

You should be a Rock Quest generator. I could just be available. I need a band name dot com. You tell me a little bit about your band and then I completely ignore that and just look around the room I'm in. Yeah. Come on. This is ridiculous.

They were pretty much asking permission to be able to wear a different type of uniform. But yet the guys don't have to. No. What if the guys want to start wearing a skirt? A skirt. And stay with me here. A skirt. They should.

The guys this week. They should be able to wear whatever the hell they want. They should protest. And wear skirts. And wear skirts and not even ask. They should. The guys this week. They should be able to wear whatever the hell they want. They should protest. And wear skirts. And wear skirts and not even ask. They should all just turn up. I mean, I know it's Southland. This is a bit out there for Southland.

But they should just turn up in skirts. Protest. That would be amazing. How good would that be? It sounds they would have to get the skirts from the females. Yeah, that's true. They'd have to wear stockings too. Oh, maybe not at the moment.

But like, it's cold and it's drafty. If you're not used to it. Well, no, wear undies under there. No, but it's different to wearing shorts though. You're going full protest. I'll go for you. No undies. Maybe you two can wear skirts tomorrow as a protest on behalf of.

I've worn a skirt before. They are super comfy. The only thing I can't get is I always sit like that. You're a man spreader. Yeah. Well, you just wear like a longer skirt.

You'd be in maths class and you'd see my behalves. Okay. And nobody knows. I mean, are they a long skirt though? I don't know. I don't think so. We should pitch ours up.

Yeah, let's roll it. I used to roll it. Yeah, roll it at the Yeah, let's roll it. I used to roll it. Yeah, roll it at the top. We should roll it. I want those year 13s. No. Stop. Stop.

Stop. It was coming out of my mouth and I was like, no. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Vaughan, the top six next. Oh, that's not my cup. Anyway, Eldon John, he's not well, guys. If you've got tickets for Tuesday or Thursday, I would be very worried. I'd be standing by.

The dude went on with walking pneumonia and nailed it right up until he didn't. Daniel, he got into, what, 20 seconds into Daniel. I was like, oh, I love this song. The piano and then his. Here we go. Try as he might, nothing came out. He was like belting out these songs and in between he'd be like, I've got no voice.

How are you doing this? Yeah. Well, you went to the toilet. You were like, I've got to be back for Candle in the Wind because we're in the set list. So Fletch boosted to the toilet. And then when Fletch was gone between songs,

the St. John's came on and took his blood pressure and stuff. A doctor came out with a stethoscope. And then a doctor came out like a white, you know when you go to the doctor

and they're always in like a shirt and pants. And they were always with chinos. Yes. Comfortable chinos. Comfortable chinos. Stethoscope around the neck. Came out and checked him

and I said to Fletch, you've got to get back here Because I don't know What's happening He's about to die Voughton said he's about to die Hurry up Yeah

Yeah And But he pushed on For a little bit longer But could not go on Lost his voice Constagos upset But understanding

Yeah But he is in New Zealand The home of Oh yeah I've got a solution mate I've got a I've got a remedy That'll sort you right out

So the top six Kiwi remedies That Alton John will have recommended to him next. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Well, he's 72 years old. Although he doesn't look it, thanks to hair transplants and millions of dollars. But Sir Alton John took to the stage in Auckland last night. How many songs did you say he got through? 17. 17 out of 25.

Right. So are we getting a partial refund? What? It's now not the time to ask. I read that he still performed for like an hour and a half. Yeah, and it was amazing considering. Yeah, right. It was really good.

And he did Tiny Dancer, which was... We were jazzed about that, weren't we? He did an extended version of Rocket Man. Yeah, that was going on. You'll get goodbye, Yellow Brick Road. No. Now, that's the final song he does. Or your song, or The Bitch Is Back.

Or Daniel. Saturday Night. Daniel, he just started. That was the song where he... Or the Lion King song. That wasn't on the set list. Wasn't it? Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

Oh, no. Not on the... All the Circle of Life, not on the set list. But't it? Can you feel the love tonight? Oh, no, not on the, all the circle of life, not on the set list. But I don't know, guys, how it's looking for Tuesday night in Auckland, Thursday night in Auckland, Saturday night in Melbourne, Sunday night in Germany. Yes, that's right, the very next night in Germany. Tuesday back in New South Wales.

So I was looking ahead at his schedule. He has a three week gap after Australia at the end of March before he goes to Canada 7th of March in Parramatta and then the next one

is the 28th of March in Toronto so you'd hope that if he had to come back it would be then or otherwise the end of his tour is end of May

in Miami after he tours all through America if he's not dead by then. Yeah. He can't be pushing himself. Like, that's insane. He's like 72.

He's got to take care of himself. And luckily, he's in a country where everybody knows best, New Zealand, the home of the I've got the solution for you. So the top six Kiwi remedies that Elton John will no doubt have recommended to him. Number six. Have you tried gargling a Disprin, mate? I've never heard that. Haven't you?

A Disprin? This is my dad's classic. Is it? You dissolve a Disprin in as little amount of water as you can. Yeah. And then you gargle it. But it's got no benefit to your throat. I don't know.

It's ridiculous. I tell you what, if you can handle it, after you've dissolved the dysprine, put a bit of salt in there too. Oh yeah, okay, right.

One of the old saltwater gargle. Although I reckon that's what got him last night. Because he had a saltwater gargle before he tried to do Daniel

and he just had no voice. But gargling and dysprine, a Kiwi classic. Number five on the list of the top six Kiwi remedies that Alton John will no doubt

have recommended to him. Kiwi fruit. Have you heard about eating Kiwi fruit when you five on the list of the top six Kiwi remedies that Alton John will no doubt have recommended to him. Kiwi fruit. Have you heard about eating Kiwi fruit when you're sick? No. It's got more vitamin C than an orange. Yeah, that's exactly right. God, antioxidants, vitamin C, vitamin E. It's everything you need.

It's just propaganda from the Kiwi fruit industry, isn't it? Zesbury money. Yeah. Zesbury coming in hot. Number four on the list of the top six Kiwi remedies that Alton John will have recommended to him and I'd be I'd be peddling this one. Albus oil.

It's basically eucalyptus oil with some other stuff in it but oh damn man. You love lopping that when you're sick. You can tell when Vaughan's not feeling well because as soon as you walk into his radius it's like Yeah it smells like the outback of Australia with all its eucalyptus. Why does someone smell

like they skinned a koala in here? Oh, porn. If I was lost in the outback and I was congested I'd definitely

huff a koala. Murder one and huff it. You know it's the trees that are eucalyptus not the koalas. No, but they're covered in the essentials.

I don't have to do the work getting the oil out of it. They've done that work. Right. It's all over that are eucalyptus not the koalas nah but they're covered in the essentials I don't have to do the work getting the oil out of it they've done that work right it's all over that greedy little chin leave the koalas alone

they've had a rough six months I hope you get koala comedia oh a small small price to be able to breathe probably

number three on the list of the top six kiwi remedies that Alton John will have recommended to him here in New Zealand, Auntie Barbara's

chicken soup recipe. That's a classic. It's a bit of a family secret as to what goes into Auntie Barbara's chicken soup. Get the broth, the brines and the

bones. Yep. You gotta blow down those mines. Make yourselves a bone broth. That's the secret to her soup.

Number two on the list of the top six kiwi remedies that Elton John could have recommended to him. Vicks Vaporub. But not rubbed. We were joking about this last night. Not rubbed on the outside. Eaten.

Now, this will blow your mind. I've only recently found this out. And we are not at all recommending that you eat Vicks Vaporub. It says on the thing, not for internal usage. Yeah. But there's some people who eat it. Who eat it. Have a spoonful of it.

Yeah, even just the texture would be like. It would be like Vaseline, but. Yeah. Well, it is, isn't it? Petroleum jelly, isn't it? It would be exactly like that, right? Yeah. But with cement.

But the guy that invented Vaseline He also ate a teaspoon Of that every day Did he Yep And he lived till Really Yeah

Okay He lived to a ripe old age Okay So yeah I've heard of people Eating Vicks VapoRub To soothe the throat Yeah right Give it a go

And number one on the list Of the top six Kiwi remedies That Alan John will have Recommended to him Here in New Zealand To get over his sickness You try the lemon and honey, man.

But, manuka honey, because you're rich. Yeah, yes. And you can afford the good stuff. Yeah. That is today's top six. Welcome to the Fleets, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Brought to you by McCafe. For great barista-made coffee on the go.

Soundkeeper Gary, good morning. Good morning, guys. All right, so current jackpot, 51,000. I think we're due for a jackpot. Oh, this is where it starts, doesn't it? This is when you lot and Brian Clint all start going, where's my clue, where's my jackpot? And it becomes like a parenting thing

someone's a bit did someone go out late last night to Elton John are they a bit grump today I did go to Elton John and I chaperoned

my mother while she was doing RTDs in the backseat of the car so the roles have been reversed and now I'm the grumpy parent

what's your mum's name mum keeper Gary Moana Moana now how did Moana. Moana. Now, how did Moana take it when he walked off the stage? And she's like 20 RTDs down. She was fine. She said to me,

oh, I don't remember walking this far to the concert, so she doesn't remember. I'm going to carry her back. Wow, okay. All right, Anita, good morning. Hi, good morning. All right, $51,000 is yours if you can tell us what this sound is. I think it's when you remove the lid from a tennis ball canister.

Oh, my God. I did this like two weeks ago, and it's the most amazing. What were you doing running a tennis ball canister. Oh my God, I did this like two weeks ago and it's the most amazing... What were you doing running a tennis ball? I brought a three pack of tennis balls and I got to pop the lid. What for? What do you mean what for? I need a tennis ball. You don't play tennis. No, I want a tennis ball for the beach.

What do you want a tennis ball for the beach for? Get a Vortex Mega Howler. I didn't have a Vortex Mega Howler. Get one. Go along, Tomo. But you know... Wait, wait, wait. You don't have a dog.

You just wanted to chuck around a tennis ball at the beach. Am I not allowed to throw around a tennis ball at the beach?

This is weird, man. Why is it weird? Why did you have to buy posh tennis balls to go to the... Why did you buy posh ones? Because I don't want supermarket tennis balls

because they go flat. You bowl an over... Yeah, but you're just throwing them around on the beach. You don't need a bloody Wilson. It's not bouncing

on the sand. Sorry, Anita. We just need They're terrible quality supermarket tennis balls. I've got no time for them in my life. Seriously.

What did you do with the other two? They're still in the canister at home. For next time. For the next beach trip but I won't nag them for a while because the other ones. The seal on the canister?

Well, no, they did and I popped it off and it was, oh, it's just beautiful. But then you put the plastic lid back on. Yeah. Sorry. Did you give it a sniff? Yeah. It's real, it's like a Chinese factory. Yeah.

Yeah, good. Good stuff. Sound Keeper Gary. Hi, Anita. You're probably super nervous thinking you may have won $51,000, but you have to hear this. Anita, opening a packet of tennis balls, that is not the secret sound. Anita, I feel bad.

Let me give you a tennis ball. I've got two spare. Well, I can give you one back to fill yours up. Oh, no, I've still got it. I didn't lose it at the beach, Anita. It's just a bit sandy.

It's just a bit sandy. Did you wash it? No, I didn't wash it. No, no, it's just dry naturally in the sun. Beat the sand off? Yeah, no, I gave it a wipe after it had dried.

Yep. Okay. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Yesterday, I went home early from the cafe. I got to have an afternoon off. I was like, I am...

Did you talk to the boss about this? Yeah, I asked myself and I was like, yeah, you can go. Good on you. This is why I couldn't work for myself because I just Netflix all day. Well, yeah, but... I'd say you've earned this. You soon learn that you're not going to make any money. Yeah, you won't get any. Oh, yeah, but I'd say you've earned this. You soon learn that you're not going to make any money. Yeah, you won't get any.

That's why I'd go bankrupt. Pretty quick. So yesterday I was like, do you know what? I'm going to have the afternoon off. So I went home and I was like, I'm going to have a nap. It's going to be great. Might watch some Netflix. Went home and it took me a while to realise what this was.

So there was a noise, male singing, and I was like, oh man, someone's like cranking the music. What were they cranking? It was like, it was guitar based, just male singing, like singer songwriter. Okay. And I was like, I can't quite pick what the song is. And I was like, well, it'll be over soon and maybe they'll move on, turn it off or they'll get sick of it or something.

Two hours later, it is still going. Yeah. And had moved on to Hallelujah. Who sings that? Rufus Wayne. Many people do. Many people Wayne. Oh, yeah. Many people do. Many people do.

With the guitar. Lots of versions of that song. It got louder. I don't know how that's possible because I found out it was actually my neighbour sitting on his deck. And what, just singing? With his guitar. Except my problem as well was that the songs that he was doing, I don't know if he was trying to learn the whole thing. He hadn't got to that point yet. He only

knew certain parts. So was he guitaring along with the song playing and singing? Nope. No, just guitar. He was singing with his guitar the same parts over and over again. But on the deck in the balcony, like, for everyone to hear. Oh no, that's something you do in the privacy of your own home.

Extremely loud. So I got home about 11.30. When my husband gets home at 3.30, he is still going. Did you record any of this? No, because I didn't want to play it and have everyone think I was bullying him. It wasn't pleasant. Yeah. What part of Hallelujah was he?

What line? No, just the Hallelujah. Oh, just the Hallelujah? Yeah. Hallelujah. I think we got the lead up. It's da-na-da, a man is a-na-na-na. David Payne, please the Lord.

Hallelujah. Well, it's not pleasing me. I had that song for a long... Did you do something like passag, like go out and slam the rubbish bin? I didn't, but you know how Andrew is a singer. And a South African. If we're about to talk about how he was very blunt to somebody, I think it's important to remember he's South African.

And he came home. And to be fair, we'd put up with this for another half an hour or so. And I told him he'd be going on all day. So he went outside and sung along with him. And then yelled out, that's not how it goes. He didn't. I don't know if he heard him or not but he did stop soon after. But it

was so loud and it had gone on all day and like if he'd done multiple songs in the whole song maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. Yeah, right. Maybe if he'd like hit the notes. I mean I certainly wouldn't have been out on my balcony or deck for the whole neighbourhood to hear me singing because I

can't sing. Yeah, I'm surprised. Even if I could, I wouldn't. I don't think I've ever heard you sing. Because I can't. But you should. I should just sing like no one's watching. Yeah, or listening. You're sure.

But I was listening and it was painful. Yeah. I would love to know, off the back of this, what your neighbours have done that's horrifically annoying. Well, like, what about your neighbours' worst habit? You know, their worst annoying thing that they do. Because that's not, in the scheme of things, that's not that bad, really. Are you kidding me?

We're not all day. Have you seen Neighbours at War? This wouldn't even make the show. How annoying is it when one person on your street, and went on all day. I couldn't have a nap. Have you seen Neighbours at War? This wouldn't even make the show. How annoying is it when one person on your street, when it's not recycling day, like, because you know how recycling might be like every second Friday,

every second Monday. They're out of kilter. They just chuck it out every Monday because they're not sure when it's at. Because it makes you... And then everybody puts their bins out. That's way less annoying than... No, because there's bins everywhere.

You just drive past it and you're like, ha, sucker fool. But then you're like, ah. No, but then you doubt yourself. I'm a sucker fool. Don't you? You doubt yourself.

Am I missing that every second Tuesday? Wow. Okay. Deep, man. Unless you've got the magnet thing from the council on your fridge so you can double check. Or you can just go online and quickly check.

Yeah, sure. You can do that. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe you've got a neighbour that starts the lawns at 7am on a Saturday or a Sunday. That would be super annoying. Isn't that weird how we're like strangers living in the same vicinity and we're like jammed up next to each other and like we don't talk that often and we've got all, you know, like weird different lives.

Yeah, man. We're all like jammed up together and like live beside each other. But don't know each other. But don't know each other. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. This is a bit deep for this time of the morning. But that's where the problems start because we are jammed up against all these like different people.

So what is your neighbour's most annoying habit? What really gets you going? We're talking about your neighbour's annoying habits. We've got a Jeff Buckley, Leonard Cohen, Rufus Wainwright type living next door to Magoo's, but he only knows a couple of lines of Hallelujah. Three-hour concert you got yesterday. Yeah.

And then some. And then some. Good Lord. So we want to know what your neighbour's annoying habits are. And we've got some callers. Yeah, music. Elena, this is music, isn't it? Yes.

Okay, so they blast the music? Oh, yeah. So I was back at my parents' place in Whanganui this weekend, and I was looking after my dad after he'd had surgery, and we were having tea and reading on the deck in the sun. It was about 1 p.m. I think he said you were having pee. Me too.

I was like, don't relax. Is that an operation? Tea. Tea. Drinking tea. Okay, yeah. Drinking tea, yes. And the neighbors start blasting for Mackie G and Skrillex

and the worst D&D that you could ever imagine. Wow. And it just kept getting louder and louder. It went on until about 2 a.m. And my blood was boiling. I was just like, even inside, like, it was just all you could hear. That's a casual drum and bass on a Sunday afternoon. Good lord.

I know. And my dad was fine with it. And I was like, how are you not mad at this? He's like, oh, they do it every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so I'm kind of used to it by now. Also, he's probably still on the sweet post-op drugs as well. Yeah, probably the tramadol was probably making that quite enjoyable. Thanks, you call Elena.

Jacob, what's your neighbour's annoying habit? Hey, so I work at a bar. I usually get home about 5am, and then by 6am, my neighbour just across the road from me on Saturday morning is kick-starting his motorbike and starting to work on it. So I'm kicking it and just trying about 6am he's starting until maybe

about midday. 6am? Oh no, that's too early. That's before 9. That's too early. Thanks you, Cole. Ali, your neighbour's annoying habit? My neighbour's annoying habit is she plays the bagpipe. Oh, no. That should

be in a soundproof hall. Quite honestly, I can't even tell if she's good at it or not. That's the thing, you don't know if someone's good at bagpipes, do you? I used to live across from her park and then have a whole troop of bagpipers

on a Sunday morning. What time, though? I mean to live across from a park and then have a whole troop of bagpipers on a Sunday morning. What time though? Well, I mean, it wasn't that early, but like a Sunday morning. No, it would have been like nine or ten.

Jordan, your neighbour's annoying habit? I'm a professional beatboxer and I practice most weekends in my garage. Okay. And when I decide to practice,

he decides it's the best time to crank his music and aim the speakers at the fence. Oh, so you're at war with your neighbour? Yeah, pretty much.

He just hates beatboxing, so. When you beatbox, do you do it into a microphone or are you just doing it into your hands? No, I go into a microphone and amplifier in my garage. Oh, so he's sick of hearing it. So I bet he loves hearing that. Oh, yeah. Because beatboxing's a bit like whistling.

It's enjoyable for the person doing it, but if you don't want to hear it, it's not. Yeah, I suppose. Oh, no, Jordan would disagree. Well, no, because he's the person doing it. Jordan, can you do some now? I need to hear. I can imagine on Sunday morning that an amplified speaker would be.

The part that goes, boop. I bet that's the part that gets the neighbours. It goes, what? It goes, boop. Jordan, awesome. Thanks for your call, mate. Some text messages. Somebody said, our Our neighbours lawn is perfect

And that's very annoying Is that it? Annoying, yep The neighbours love having a smoke On their deck that's actually closer To our house than their house But they also do it with no shirt or pants on Just undies

And they're not underwear models Yeah right Well don't look Yeah that's true Fair call ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast At the weekend

Just yesterday A friend was going to the mall And to the plant store And I need to buy one more plant Why? No Okay one died But it wasn't my fault

So I had I What was our bet? It wasn't my fault It wasn't my fault. So I had... What was our bet? It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. Pretty sure we said they wouldn't see the end of February. What? You lose. All of them are fine apart from this one because my friend that repotted it peeled the roots off.

I later found out. I know. Apparently he said the roots looked the fluffy bits. And I said, no, those are roots. Those are essential for... They're the lifeline of the plant. Yes. Anyway, so not my fault. New plant has been purchased.

Anyway, so I'm in the plant. So a couple of weird looks. And I was just like, oh, that's weird. Maybe I've got something on my face. Nah, I don't know. Odd. I was just like, whatever. I didn't really think too much about it

because I was looking at the plants in and out with my friend. Get to the mall and my friend's like, I'm really hungry. I'm going to go to the food court while you go to Kmart. Okay.

Because I needed an air mattress. Oh God, the line was huge. Like a blow up mattress? Yeah. What do you need an air mattress for?

Because I've got people staying. People staying. Bogans are coming. There's a Bogan concert on next weekend. Bring your own bloody air mattress. No, it'll be fine

because I'm going camping. Because I'll sleep on the couch and then your couch will stink of ciggies. Air mattresses. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so anyway, so I'm like,

I need air mattresses. Went to Kmart and then I'm like, just before I go to the food court to meet my friend, I've got my air mattress under one arm. I'm just going to go

for a little wheeze. So I went for a wheeze in the mall toilet. Is this imperative to the story? Yeah, it is. Because I'm in the bathroom and I finish wheeze and then I wash my hands and I look up and that's when I realise

that I'm wearing the wrong hat. What do you mean? A present that was gifted to me at Christmas that was never ever meant to be worn. Because I was in a rush when I left my house. My friends were like, I'm outside, I'm coming now. And so I grabbed the hat

which was upside down because they have many hats lying around. All the same. All look the same. I put it on and then that's when I look up in the mirror at the Westfields Mall and my hat says Daddy on it. And not the paternal type. Yeah, because it was given to me as a joke, obviously, which was ha ha.

Many things are said in jest. And I'm like looking in the mirror in the mall, just like, what the F is that? You're buying an air mattress. Daddy's having a sleepover. But he doesn't want his couch to sting the seat. How has this happened? I'm just like, get this off my head now. Anyway, yeah.

So you took it off? Oh, I took it off. I was like, this is going back to the cart before I go to the food court. And yeah, anyway, let's pretend that never happened. And that's why I was getting the weird looks in the plant shop. But your friend didn't want to say anything. He didn't say anything. But he must have just thought, oh, whatever.

This isn't the friend that gave me the hat. Oh, okay. This is another friend. And he must have just been like, whatever. Or not noticed. He's also known you long enough to know that you would never wear a hat

with daddy on it in public. Maybe he just enjoyed it. Maybe he just enjoyed the ride. I was like, oh my God. This is good. Yeah, I don't know. So yeah,

that was my weekend. Great. Daddy. I'm going to have to rip that. I'm just going to have to pile that bin it, I think, yeah. But then it's a gift,

so I can't bin it. I'll just then it's a gift So I can't bin it I'll just put it in a cupboard You can't bin a gift There are two gifts I've bought you That have never left this office No we use the old person's shopping Stroller For cables

Very important cables for the show Very important yeah okay Flesh for an Amegan The podcast ZM What is better Having a whole cheat day or a daily treat if you are dieting or watching what you eat?

Because a lot of people say cheat day. I'd say cheat day because then, like, if I'm going real hard out being good, I feel like even if I just have a little something that's bad, right? And you're just like, well, I might as well just keep going. Yeah. I've broken this. It's the slip. This is because we've been told that we shouldn't even treat food as good and bad anyway.

Yeah, that's true. And I get that. But it turns out that a whole cheat day probably isn't the best option. Right. So some experts have said that it would be better to just have a little treat a day because then it will keep you on track and what's that saying?

What's that? I don't know. Margarine? No. What's it saying? Something. Moderation. Everything in moderation. Everything in moderation. Everything in moderation. Including moderation. I knew it started with M.

I knew it started with M. So yeah, everything in moderation. So it would be better to have something little. The trouble is they've said it has to be 150 calories or less. So props not a donut or like not a pie. Not something that's half your daily recommended calorie intake. No, probably not a burger. We're talking like a little treat.

What are some treats? I've just Googled. I've found treats that are 150 calories or less. Pesto cottage cheese with baby carrots. That's not a treat. Rosemary lemon popcorn. Yuck. Whole grain crackers with gouda.

These aren't treats. With gouda. Guacamole and chips. Hard grain crackers with gouda. These aren't treats. With gouda. Guacamole and chips. Hard boiled egg with seasoning. What? Quick trail mix, pistachios and clementine. You wouldn't get many nuts for under $150. Peanut butter hummus with cucumber slices.

Peanut butter and hummus or peanut butter flavoured hummus? I don't know. That's weird. Yeah. What is the site you found? Yogurt dipped strawberries Oh that site That's right Yeah

They've also said These diet experts That something People try and avoid Is actually probably okay To curb the cravings Ice cream If you have a little ice cream

After dinner And there's lots of Yeah because everyone That's the key Everyone's Yeah Everyone's, yeah. Little ice cream. Everyone's opening the tub and having just a spoon.

No, so they're suggesting like ice creams that come on a stick. So you've got like, that is your serving size. Right, and then you get a tiny one. Yeah. Like a choc top. Yeah, can it be... Paddle pops aren't under 150 calories, aren't they?

But are they? Paddle pops are an ice block. How many calories... But it's ice are an ice block. How many calories? But it's ice. I like icy cream. How many calories is a bubble-o-bill? Because I'll eat that guy's nose off in a second. Bubble-o-bill. Is that chewing gum?

Yeah. You eat that last because it is chewy at the end of the ice cream. 149 calories. Bubble-o-bill slips in, baby. Yeah. A bubble-o-bill a day. I told you. Eat a bubble-o-bill a day. I told you, eat a bubble-o-bill a day to health.

What a great time. To health! And that's what you should say every time you open a bubble-o-bill. To health! God, I hope we see the increase of bubble-o-bill sales today. Do they still exist? Yeah, they do. Oh, do they?

I had one the other day. I remember in the 80s, if you took a bubble-o-bill out of the packet, you'd look at his face, you'd be like, there he is, that's bubble-o-bill. You open it now, you're like, what happened to Bubba Lo Bill? Yeah, because sometimes he's a bit deformed. He looked like he went away with just the intention of just getting the eyes pulled back a little bit, but he's just gone full like...

Too much, Bill. I feel like Bill, Bubba Lo Bill doesn't have those friends to say, hey, mate, stop. Yeah. You've had too much done. Bill, Bubba Lo Bill doesn't have those friends to say, hey mate, stop. Yeah. You've had too much done. Bill, stop. Bill's not ageing gracefully. No.

Still looks good in a hat though. That's the main thing. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Went to Elton John last night. What a wonderful concert even though it was called short.

Yeah, 17 out of his 25 songs he walked off. No voice. So the Tuesday and Thursday concert still in doubt. We haven't had any official word yet. No. Question mark there. Question mark there.

So that'll be, I guess, anxious for a lot of people. It was at Mount Smart, which, I mean, for me, concert-wise is probably still the home of the big day out. Yeah. Oh, when we were walking down that entrance last night, because I haven't been in that entrance every other time. Yeah, I haven't been on that side since the big day out. Yeah.

And yeah, that was just memory lane. So walking down there. We parked and walked up and it was exactly the same route many a time walking up to the big day out. Where they used to have the super top. Yeah, up the top by here where you came in by the boiler room. Yeah, it was the boiler room at the big day out up the hill. Where they used to have the super top. Yeah, up the top by here where you came in by the boiler room.

Yeah, it was the boiler room at the big day out. Hasn't been known to a generation. And I think at the time that was the largest tent in,

they used to love saying it's the largest tent in Australasia. Of course it is. Like, we're not going to the beach with a mega top, aren't we?

Largest tent that would also rain on the inside from people's sweat. Yeah, people's sweat yeah sweat rain and then they

ripped that down didn't they yeah a few years ago yeah probably a little after it should have been

torn down but walking up I said to Sade my wife I was like man this just reminds me of big day outs and you know

you'd be walking up here you'd be talking about who you'd want to see you'd have the program I'm going to say I'm going to get in the mosh pit for... My chemical romance.

The darkness. Man, I've got to see Bling 182, I've got to be out the front for Bling 182 and I'm going to drink so many beers and export golds, of course, because that was their sponsor and yuck. And you'd be walking up there and I was like, oh, and you'd get up here in the last few,

there was people hawking party pills before they were made illegal. Everyone was shelving the pingas before the security. Because they were. They were. They were like, ah, security's coming. So we're walking up there and we're talking about this. And the lady behind us says to her friend, I made two carrot cakes this morning.

I was like, the game has changed so much. She's like, what did you make two carrot cakes for? Well, I was making one, but then I just had enough ingredients and I thought I'll make one and I'll take it to work. But I can't take a carrot cake to work and not leave one at home for Craig. Wow. I was like, whoa. Your closet going has changed.

Party time. For Craig. Dude, Craig's getting carrot cake. You can imagine Craig's got his sistema with a little section of carrot cake at work. Oh, bless. Bit of cream cheese icing. Walnut on top. Couple of pepitas.

Couple of pumpkin seeds on there. He loves those as well. Not really. It makes him feel a little bit healthier. Yeah. So we walk in. We get down to security. There's the wands where they check if anybody's carrying any contraband.

Fairly safe crowd for contraband though. Except. Well, that's what we thought. Yes. The lady right in front of us, she had to unload her entire purse. Is this carrot cake lady? No, no, no. We'd lost carrot cake lady at that stage.

The lady in front of us had a small purse. It was small enough that it fit within the, you got an email saying what you can and can't take, and you could take a small handbag, but not a big one. But she had, it was packed. She had gum out. There were little bits and pieces. Then out came the packet of neuromole.

Do you know neuromole? Yeah. It's a, is it an ibuprofen? It's ibuprofen and Panadol. It's paracetamol and ibuprofen. It's a mixture. Now, can I say at this time, I was getting very antsy because we were being held up like a good minute. And I was like, come on, this woman's not carrying an AK-47 in there.

Like, it's fine. What's going on? And I was like, maybe we could just nip around. Yeah, but we weren't. But we weren't allowed. We were nipping around. And one person was dealing with both sides of the queue. So the people beside us were also queuing up.

So there was a little bit of a crowd. Yeah. The neuromole, though, my eagle eye spotted, had been popped. All of the safety seals had been popped. The neuromole got taken out of the box of neuromole, and there I saw the tray, and that had all been popped. However, I could see that a few of them still had pills in it. And I was like, who pops before they're ready to pill?

Oh, yeah. Or sometimes it might be in your handbag or your bag and it might come open. Yes. Because you've been in two, but not three or four. You chuck those out, don't you? Yeah, because then they get a bit sandy. Yeah, they get manky on them.

They get like miscellaneous dust on them. Yeah. And the security lady says, these aren't neuromole. Neuromole aren't blue. No, they are not. And the lady who has been carrying the neuromole

leans in and says the Viagra. To which the security lady was like no further questions. She was really embarrassed. The security lady obviously had never seen or known a Viagra before

because yeah, when she was like, the woman was just like, I'm so sorry. Right in her ear and this woman's eyes just went, What is she? Skiddly did,

did back in the bag, on you go. But the funniest thing was the security lady when she said, neuromole aren't blue said it really loud. Everybody was like

Everyone heard it and everyone knows what's blue. All the old boys in the out and john line were like yeah neuromole mate. You got yourself

some stiffy pills there. But why did she did she have like a partner with her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, was he mortified? No. He didn't seem to

well he was about to get. He didn't seem to. Well, he was about to get a stiffy down in John's. I think any time you know a stiffy's on a horizon, you can be pretty stoked. God, I hope he didn't peak too early because Alton finished. Oh, my God. What if they take one of the staff all the way through? He's raging. And then they've got to get up and walk out of the crowd.

You'd have to keep a seat. You don't have to leave a real safety barrier in front of you. Depending on your... Why is he popping that at the start of Elton John? I don't know. Maybe it was the post Elton John. Yeah. On the train on the way home.

No, he takes it at Elton John so it kicks in on them. But that's the thing. If he'd taken it too early... If he'd been stuck in traffic like we were, if they'd driven, it would have made driving quite uncomfortable. Or if you'd gone onto a crowded train, again, problematic. Yeah.

The conclusion we came to was that she must just have them on hand. Yeah. And she'd forgotten to take them for bag. Set out. $100,000 secret sound. With Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. $51,000 to current jackpot soundkeeper Gary. G'day guys, how you doing?

A little bit tired after Elton John last night? That's right. Born further to your story about Mount Smart memories. I was walking with my mum and I needed her attention to the venue. She said, hey mum, four different women turn around and answer me. Again, something that wouldn't have happened at the big day hour. Some of them turn around with a

tissue at the rear. Alright, so $51,000, our current jackpot. Amy, good morning. Hello guys, how are you? Good, good. Alright, so $51,000. This is the secret sound. What do you think it is?

Well, me and my boss have been guessing for ages and ages, and we're not too sure if it's right, but we might think it's a bee smoker being, like, puffed down and then lit with one of those long barbecue lighters that you have to sort of hold down and then click, if that makes sense. Yeah, I know. I know the click. Yeah, I've got one of those for my candles because I keep burning my thumb

if I use a lighter. Yeah. When you get to the bottom of a candle, you're just like. Yeah. It's a race. What's going to light first, your thumb or the wick? Yeah, absolutely. But, like, being puffed sort of first and then lit.

Yeah. Amy, this is my guess. I've even YouTubed this because I was like. So have we. Yeah. So you say it's you and your boss's guess. Does that mean you're going 50-50? Oh, yeah.

And with our other work colleagues. So we'd be going third for sure. And me. Because I just said it was my guess. So like... Of course. Okay. You're getting...

No, I give Megan a cent. Oh, no. Okay, well, that makes sense. Now, Gary, you are a beekeeper. That's why there have been a lot of bee guesses. That's correct. Yes, I've got about nine hives around the house. Bee smoker gets used quite often.

Pine needles, guys. Pine needles. Oh, lovely. Right, okay. But is it worth 51K? Bee smoker gets used quite often Pine needles guys Pine needles Really? Oh lovely Right okay But is it worth 51k? I hope so Megan?

Yeah Back to the drawing board my friend Amy that is not the secret That's okay Thank you so much anyways We'll go back to the drawing board too. Yeah, thanks for crossing it off my list.

I don't know what it is now. We want to hear from you this morning on 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696 your worst ever first date. Like how bad was it? Where were you taken?

And what were you even made to do? Because a story has come out. A guy has just been sentenced this week. This first date happened in 2016, so it's taken this long for him to be sentenced. Right. He met a girl, I'm assuming on a dating app. They talked and he said,

yeah, look, come pick me up. Yeah. And we'll go on this date. He started drinking wine in the passenger seat and made them drive half an hour. She didn't know where. I think she assumed they were going to a restaurant, but they were going to a bank, and he robbed it.

And she became his getaway driver. Wow. And then he resisted arrest. He lashed out at a couple of cops. She wasn't charged because she had no idea that she was unwittingly driving this guy to rob a bank on their very first date. And obviously she has the paper trail on her phone of the messages and stuff. Yeah, exactly. So she was just like, yeah.

And obviously he, you know, she had no idea this was happening. He was like, you're effing driving. Do it. Go. So when she pulled up outside the bank and he's like, wait there. Even at that point, you'd be like, is he just getting money out? Yeah. Well, even if he's drinking and acting odd, you'd be like, oh, just drive away.

Oh, yeah. But then he's obviously, if he's a bit, yeah. Wow. What a situation to be in, eh? So I don't think we're going to be that story. But like, how bad was it on a first date? Like maybe you ended up having to do some work or something. Or just, I don't know.

Like, I don't know. He's like, I'll pick you up in a half an hour and he picks you up in a Jim's mowing truck. And you're on edging. Or like, or yeah, or he picks you up in his courier van. He's like, we've just got to drop off three parcels. Do you mind running this in? Yeah.

I don't know. Did you get a signature? No. Go back and get a signature. And you're like, it's your first date. Exactly. Georgia. Yes.

Do you have a bad first date? Oh, I do. Okay. So it starts off, he picks me up in a car with no side mirror. One of them's gone. My dad happened to be in the garden at the time. I was like, interesting. Not happy about this scenario.

Dads love a pre-date car inspection. Yeah, he wasn't happy. It was one of those kind of bogan youths. And then he's like, I'm going to take you out for dinner. I'm like, man, have a good dinner. We end up at the food court. I'm like, okay, this is fine if we can get like... Which food court?

Because some of them are bougie. Some of them are nice food courts. The Palms and Christchurch. It's not bad. I mean, it's not a first date venue. I'm doing my shopping, I'm going to have some sushi. Yeah, but I would have been happy with one of those Indian meal deals, you know, like butter chicken

and a naan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do they charge you the extra 50 cent for the garlic naan? Because I don't like that. I actually think they do. Or you get like a cheesy garlic naan, which is what I'd go for. Okay. And it's probably like an extra $2. But I wasn't even able to spend... Yeah, but the thing is, they don't put $2 worth of cheese on, do they?

That's what annoys me. Oh, you're paying for the title. You're paying for the title alone. Yeah. I know what $2 of cheese is worth. Yeah. Sorry, carry on. No, that's fine.

Because then after that, I didn't even get my Indian. He basically said, right, you go off and get what you want to get, and I'll go get my own. And I was like, oh, okay. He's like, unless you want a rice bowl, because I can get you a rice bowl. Have you? Have you want a rice bowl? But it's still.

Right. And then after that, he's like, how about we go out for an ice cream? We'll go have a date night ice cream. And I was like, yep, sweet. And we go through the Macca's drive-thru and he gets me a 50 cent cone. 50 cent soft serve, baby. Brilliant! And that was the last

I saw of him. Yeah. Rice ball and a soft serve. At least you didn't rob a bank. Very true. You know, like, there's an upside to that. There is. There is. Okay, so how bad was a first date that you've had? We'd love to take your calls now.

We're talking about your terrible first dates. A woman went on a Tinder date after they'd been chatting. She picked him up. He was drinking and asked her to take him to the bank where she then became his getaway driver after he robbed it. She didn't get charged, though. No, because she did not know what was going on. But then conundrum, like you drive and get away with it

and he's like, do you want half? Then what? You take half. You never turned down a kind offer like that. Never looked a gift to us. In the mouth. Is that saying? Ali, your bad first date, what happened?

Well, I went to meet a blind date in a pub and he left me there for about an hour and a bit by myself. He just didn't turn up. And when he did, he was massively drunk and he was in a total mess. But in the hour and a bit that I'd been sitting in the pub, I'd made friends with just about everybody in the pub. Right. And so they were all on my side,

and they were making him look like a bit of a fool, actually. And he ended up leaving, and I ended up leaving with one of the guys I'd met earlier in the pub. Yeah. It worked out well for everybody. It worked out to be a good night, but, you know, it was an awful blind date experience for that guy. He was a total jerk.

Yeah, I can't believe you waited an hour and a half. But I can kind of see where he's coming from, though, because, like, you have a couple of drinks to soften it because it's scary. Get a bit of Dutch courage. And then you have three, and then you have four, and then you're like, whoopsies. And then you're on a roll, baby.

And then you're like, whoops, look at the time. I was having a good time. Yeah. Brilliant. Ali, thanks for your call. Nicole, your bad first date, what happened? Okay, so I went on, it was a Tinder date probably five years ago. Okay.

And he took me to this really cool bar. It was like one of those bars that you have to know is there. Oh, yeah. It was down an alleyway bars that you have to know is there. Oh yeah, speak easy. Yeah, real cold. Okay. So we're having a couple of drinks, having a good time, and then like all of a sudden all of these guys turn up. And I was like, okay, this is weird. And turns out once a month they do a burlesque show.

Right. Yeah, so we are on this first date And Yeah There's just Classy strippers Everywhere With nipple tassels

Poor guy Yeah The poor guy Had his head down The whole time It was hilarious So We didn't go on another date

After that Right But I quite like A burlesque show Like Yeah I had a good time. I do burlesque now, so. Oh.

Well, when exactly? But he just was not into it. No, no. He just was red in the face, face down the whole time, stopped talking. Oh, dude. Shut him down.

Weird. Okay, all right. Nicole, thanks. You called some text messages. I had a great dinner date, actually. We ended down. Weird. Okay, all right. Nicole, thanks. You called some text messages. I had a great dinner date, actually. We ended up back at my place. Moved to the boudoir. This is where he told me he couldn't sleep with me

as I might give him an STD and then his girlfriend would know that he'd cheated on her. Whoa! Wow. I met this guy at his house for the first date. He said, I'm sorry, I'm running a little bit behind. I just need to still have a shower. And then he came out wrapped in a towel and said,

hey, would you mind shaving my back and stuff before we hit it? No word if they did. What would you do? No word if they did. He's like, well, if I was really into him, if it had gone well and if I was really into him, I would have done it. No, this was before anything happened, though. She arrived at his house to go on the date.

No, but Megan's... Maybe they'd obviously had some kind of, like, interactions. And you're judging from what he looks like in the towel, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah, right. You've got me, sister. Went on a date with this guy to the movies. He said he was going to get tickets.

So I met him there and we were in line and he's like, hold our place in the movies. He said he was going to get tickets. So I met him there and we were in line and he's like, hold our place in the queue and he went over to a rubbish bin and started looking through the rubbish bin. I said,

what are you doing? He said, I'm looking for those supermarket two for one vouchers. Oh my God. Because otherwise we're not going to the movies. And I was like,

okay. First date, girl asked me to pick her up from the hospital. Oh, okay. She said she needed to be picked up. She's a nurse. No.

I was then found myself in a meeting with three doctors. She said I was the person whose care she would be released into. The doctors want to know how long I've known her and how my relationship turned out. They said it was so terrifying. One time a guy took me for dumplings. Then when we walked back home to the train,

we walked past someone's house. He said, I actually promised I'd walk their dogs. So can we do that? Oh, that's kind of cute. I kind of like that.

That's cute dogs, yeah. But we're like, no pre-mention. You're just walking past. You're like, oh, it was his grandma's house. Yeah. So we walked her three dogs and then he said, and when we got back, he said, grandma's asleep now. Do you want to come in for a drink? And you're like, oh, it was his grandma's house. Yeah. So we walked her three dogs.

And then he said, and when we got back, he said, grandma's asleep now. Do you want to come in for a drink? And I was like, no. Oh, that's weird. To be fair, she probably wouldn't have heard. Nana's gone to sleep. Should we drink her cooking, shall we? And I thought I'd scored this hot farmer guy.

First date was getting rid of gorse on his property. He didn't tell me beforehand, so I was dressed up for a normal date. Getting rid of gorse? Yep. What? I spent 20 minutes of gorse on his property. He didn't tell me beforehand, so I was dressed up for a normal date. Getting rid of gorse? What? Spent 20 minutes spraying gorse, and then I threw my gloves on the ground and said, you're not worth it. And then walked back to the car and it was off.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. It's time for Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. Day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the International Space Station. Okay. Once a month, it fires from the ISS propulsion module to keep it in orbit.

Oh, yep. Like a little... No, it's not a little... It's a big old... It uses 7,000 kilograms of propellant each year for altitude maintenance. So many of the rockets that go up and dock there actually drop off a whole lot of fly spray. That was going to be my question because, you know,

it's like the gas barbecue. You're like, do I have enough for this barbecue? Do I have enough gas? They've got one of those stickers down the side too where it just measures where your gas bottle on your barbecue is up to by how cold, what level the coldness is up to. It tells you when you need to fill it up. Good.

Or take it down and swap it out. But it's travelling at a rate of knots orbiting the Earth, but it is, what stops it from falling is how fast it's going and it's falling at the same curvature of the Earth. So once a month it needs to jack itself back up. But I thought the Earth was flat. So what you're saying makes no sense. Okay.

Now. Just a little're saying makes no sense. Okay. Now. Just a little dig at the flat earthers. Yeah, yeah. And when you're vaccinated, I'll explain the rest. Until then, you have to wait. Yeah. So it's every month it fires a propulsion blast that pushes it back up. Yep.

And that just keeps it circling around. Absolutely. Much like George Clooney in that movie with the fire extinguisher. Yeah, pretty much exactly the same, but just on a bigger scale. Yeah, right. Yeah. It propulses upwards a little bit. So crazy.

Yeah, I know. How does someone work that out? I saw that string of lights that SpaceX put up. What was that called? Oh, yeah. I don't know. Net. Sky Net. Wi-Fi net or something. No. What was that called? Oh, yeah. Net. Sky Net.

Wi-Fi Net or something. The Sky Net's the robot spawn villain. They're going to kill us all. Yeah. Net Sky. It's very similar to the robots that are going to kill us all. I saw them going through the sky the other night. I missed them.

So exciting. Why didn't you tell us? I want to see that. Okay, I'll message you next time. You message me next time you see it because I'd like to see it. Is it still popping up every now and then? Are we going to see that forever now? I don't know. Or just until it gets next time you see it because I'd like to see it. Is it still popping up every now and then? Are we going to see that like forever now?

Or just until it gets to where it was supposed to go? I don't know. It was very exciting. They were all in a row. Yeah. Well, you probably will be able to always see them because you can see the other satellite. Yeah, and the space station, yeah, you can. When it goes over, you can see it.

So if you've ever wondered how it stays up there. Starlink. Starlink. That's what it's called. I remember it's like those birds that make the mud nests. Starlings. Okay, great. Starlink.

Some of those in our chicken coop. And every time I go in, they obviously freak out and think they have to leave. And they swoop down and they almost hit me in the head. Cool story. It's amazing. The wee nests they make out of the mud. Now, did you see I brought in an egg carton? I did, yeah.

So if you could just fill that up. I've got some good eggs at the moment. They've got a good run. Apparently Sade's sick of eggs. Yeah. She's sick of eggs. She's had enough eggs. She's had enough of eggs. Because she's home in the morning.

Yeah. So she just has, will have eggs. Whereas I'm at work, so I just bring porridge to work. So you, when you, because it's the weekend, eggs. Smash eggs. So she just has, we'll have eggs for breakfast whereas I'm at work so I just bring porridge to work. So you, when you, because it's the weekend, eggs. Smash eggs.

That's like me, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, we love eggs on this show, don't we? Good chat. Good chat about eggs.

We go back to space, it's more fun. Some sort of paid egg council. It's certainly not paid, it's unpaid. It's an unpaid love. Unpaid love for eggs. Unpaid love.

However, the eggs, when I give them to you, will have to be hashtag gifted. Yeah, right. Because you've received those for free, so that may bias your opinion and sway that of others. Sure. Okay. So today's fact of the day is to stop falling out of the sky,

the International Space Station fires a massive amount of propellant once a month. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I love this about New Zealand. In the summer, you get to go to outdoor movies. Lots of different comedies put them on. They happen right up until daylight savings. Which, by the way, it is locked as the first weekend in April. The 7th?

The 6th, 7th? First weekend in April. Yeah. That's not that far away. No, it's only 17th of February. Oh, like two months away. Two months. Ages away.

Less than six weeks. So we've got six weeks of long, light weekends. Make the most. Even then, we're starting to lose it. Well, don't be negative. I don't want to be negative. We are starting to lose it. We've still got heaps of time for summer.

And then there's good things about winter. Anyway, so enjoy summer. Log fires. And then you can have more snuggles because it's not like, oh my God, get off me. You're so hot. Yeah. So you'd like the end of our delightful summer weather so that you can snuggle Mr. Toyboy into you.

Great. Okay, good. With Adam saying, get off me. Get off me, woman. You're real sweaty and stuck. No, I'm not sweaty. Anyway, back to the movie. So I went to a movie Outdoor movie At the weekend

Because Part of the reason we went Was because You could take your dog It was like Well behaved dogs On leashes Another reason

But everybody thinks Their dog's well behaved Like if there's ever been Someone's dog That's been a kid And they'll be like Yeah this was gonna happen It was only a matter of time

This thing was a shit We're terrible owners To be fair All the dogs that were there Were very well behaved. Leo sat there under his wee blanket and watched the movie the whole time. What? He was under a blanket.

Yeah. He likes to snuggle under a blanket. Come on, bro. I'm well behaved, but I'm going to fight you because you're under a blanket. No, all the other dogs were very considerate of his feelings, unlike you as a human. So we went to see Abominable. Abominable. Abominable.

Yeah. So this is an animated movie? Yeah. It's about, well, I'm just looking at your sticker on your laptop because you've got the Abominable character. Abominable. Yeah. I liked it because it was a, it stuck up a little bit.

It's a raised sticker. A raised sticker. I wouldn't call it a 3 little bit. It's a raised sticker. A raised sticker. I wouldn't call it a 3D sticker. It's just raised. I've always liked a raised sticker. One of those padded stickers. Okay, nice. It's the way to my heart.

Man. A raised sticker. A raised sticker. So it was at Stanmore Bay Park on the North Shore of Auckland. And when we got there, shout out to the groundskeeper, keepers, whoever looks after the park. Is it a sports ground? I think so, because it's got big lights.

Oh, yep. Is this where I used to go hunting Pokemon? I don't know. Was it up top? By Whangapurua. Oh, no, too far north for me. Yeah, right. Okay.

But when we got there- Probably was a Pokemon hotspot. It would have been a Pokemon hotspot. And nice and close to the current coronavirus... Centre. Centre. Yeah, the people in isolation. Oh, Whangapurao.

Actually, that's a good point. Did you check the wind direction yesterday? Yeah, because it's airborne. Okay. But when we got there, the grass, Vaughan, the grass was just... Good lawn? Was it good lawn? Tell me more.

It was dense. Yeah, he's been watering. It was dense. Yeah, he's been watering. It was soft. Okay, he's been cutting. So soft. You know, like, not those big, thick blades of glass. Paspalum. Grass.

Yeah. Not paspalum. Grass. You said glass. I thought they were right, whatever. He was saying elves. Yeah, you don't want to sit on a big, thick shard of glass when you go to the park. Nice, thin, soft.

See, if I'm going to an outdoor movie, oh, that's the kind of grass you want to be sitting on. As soon as we got there, the first thing we were like, oh, grass, good work, them. Like, imagine if it was quite cool, yeah. You know that grass? Yeah. That kiwi grass? Yuck.

I'm getting into grass jargon. I don't know what you're on about. You know that weedy grass? Oh, yeah. There was no weeds. It's always at the back, stalky. Yuck. It was beautiful.

Yeah. So, yeah, everyone very well behaved. And because it was an animated movie, there were heaps of kids there, heaps of families, and everyone was really quiet because I thought kids were just going to be, like, talking through the whole movie, but they weren't. Everyone was very well behaved. Kids, dogs, families, everyone.

Very quiet, about halfway, maybe not even halfway through the movie. I'd say, like, half an hour, 40 minutes in. We were up near the front because we got there really early, right near the front of the screen. And around the edges, flanking on the sides, where everyone was sitting on the sides, we just heard screams. Everyone starts and like loudly, kids, parents, they'rereaming and yelling

And like in crowded areas Like something's going down And so everyone's got a fright And everyone's standing up going Screaming in crowds is not good Not good And that's when As we stood up and looked over

You can see that The massive industrial Spr sprinklers had turned on and were absolutely hosing down on half of the crowd. Wow. That's how he's keeping the lawn so lush. Because it'd be on a timer, right? Yeah. And so normally what, like on a Sunday night,

no one would be at the park? It's like 9.30 or 9 o'clock at night. No. Oh my God, you couldn't even ride that. That's hilarious. No. And like, wasn't just a sprinkle. These are huge, like showering down on half the crowd.

Yeah, right. So half the crowd just went home. Wet. Because they had picnic blankets, all their blankets, heaps of families. So there was pillows and like sleeping bags.

Nothing good at outdoor movies. It's never a good experience. I was fine. I stayed to watch the end of the movie because I sat down. Talking, hard to hear,

can't see, wet. Yeah, people hogging the area with chilli bins. Yeah. Large blankets. The groundskeeper probably turned it on because he's like, you're all sitting on my bed. Yeah, people hogging the area with chili bins. Yeah. Large blankets. The groundskeeper probably turned it on because he's like,

you're all sitting on my bed. Yeah, squashing this beautiful lawn. That'll teach you for coming here and watching a movie on my lawn. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You might remember Selyse Barber, the comedian, Australian comedian. She raised $55 million Zealand million dollars towards the bushfires in Australia. This money originally was tied

up and it couldn't be given to the rural fire service. That was the first hurdle. The money has been handed over to the RFS, but there's a second problem. Not another hurdle! $55 million has gone to the fire service,

but it can only be spent on firefighting equipment and training. It cannot be spent on families in need or given to any other charities. That is the RFS rules currently. So none of it's been sent. Shit, they're going to have a nice fire truck. Oh, yeah, they're going to have a fancy fire. So this happened, what, January? Yeah. All this money was what, January? Yeah. All this money was donated and not a cent of it has been spent.

No. So it's locked up again now. But apparently everyone's understanding that that rule is not going to help the situation in this. Because she said the money is going to the fire service, didn't she? Yes. For them to distribute, as they say, to families in need and charities and to spend how they need. But yeah, they can't give it to families

because of the rules currently. They are working with lawyers to try and resolve the issue and maybe change the rules. Right. But that money's still just sitting there. That's nuts because, I mean, surely there's families that need it. 100%.

Still without homes. Yeah. And that's what people donated it for. So there's a whole lot of people commenting on the Facebook page requesting a refund of their donation. And she's probably just like, I wish I hadn't done a single, I wish I hadn't bothered. Yeah. She's very much involved in still trying to get the money to the initial intended places.

Yeah, right. But it's just amazing to know that that $55 million is still just sitting there. But then you can't win because you give it to a big organisation and they take a third of it for their marketing and... Yeah. God knows what, eh? And it's not like she can sit there and distribute 55 mil.

Well, yeah, exactly. How much fun would that be, though? You get a million. You get a million. It'd be like Shark Tank or Dragon's Den. They walk in and they're like, my house burnt down. You'd be like, wonderful. What kind of house?

They were like, it was a small house. I'd be like, take eight million. Build yourself a nice house. Someone's like, Vaughn, you're going through the money quite quickly. I know, I want to get out of here. It's almost lunchtime. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, live here. ZM.